#this is so low effort and stupid bye

[brainfreeze27]

[anantaru]

— not saying “i love you” back

including scaramouche, ayato, alhaitham, cyno x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, we‘re evil (especially in cyno's part)

— scaramouche

"and please don't forget to buy some fruit!"

you sing over to your boyfriend, musing with a pacifying, settling timbre in your voice when scaramouche indisputably turned around one last time before leaving for the grand bazaar.

in any other occasion, the two of you would proceed to go together, hand in hand, strolling through the entirety of Sumeru City while sauntering in midst the many food vendors to stock up for the upcoming week.

"i will, stop repeating it all over again."

he's gutted, scrunching his eyebrows with indistinct wrinkles showing on his forehead, "i'm not stupid." obviously, kuni was barking back in his usual fashion, tiptoeing around the edge of your nerves.

"obviously you're the smartest."

you responded, with a crooked little grin accompanying your teasing, the taunting that had your boyfriend weak on the knees, making him all giddy but he wouldn't admit it, ever.

he sighs, acting a bit peeved, but in truth he could barely muffle a laugh, or a little giggle at least, "whatever, i'm leaving." your eyes follow him, watching as he walked towards the exit, speaking once more. "bye, love you."

"bye!"

okay, well, maybe you were evil after all.

you weren't sure what brought you to the realization that, yes, maybe now was the right time to poke fun at your boyfriend, provoke scaramouche to tickle a sweet, little reaction out of him.

the moment he had heard you speak, he didn't move, as if he was waiting for the last few sentences he was sure, you must've forgotten.

"really? is that all you got to say to me?"

scaramouche was swaying from leg to leg, left to right, killing time and fiddling his thumbs as his eyes dangerously proceeded to throw daggers on your resting frame, yearning for attention. "mhm!"

as it was, you didn't seem to care, at all, it was both irritating and off putting.

aside from how you were innocently resting on the couch while browsing and paging through a little picture book you bought a while back, you were still, ignoring him, thoroughly indulging in it.

right off the bat, his face tweaked, his left brow twitching in displeasure.

actually, there were two possible routes to take right now, he figured; one, he could either just brush it off and go on about his day or second, he'd go back and find out what he had possibly done wrong this time.

obviously it must've been something quite significant, because normally it's you who's saying 'i love you' first and he needed, no, he deserved to hear that, right now.

so .. how dare you forget about it just like that? without an inch of remorse?

scaramouche was standing upright, shoulders confidently jolted back, while walking to where you were sitting st, and you noticed, of course you did, yet you pretended you didn't, fully immersing yourself into your other activity.

"hey." he speaks lowly now, a little confused but he's got the sprit before carefully lowering himself next to you.

"what's so interesting about this?"

he's ignorantly swatting his hand towards the little book in your grasp, his eyes were now, a touch lower, as if he was sad and actually concerned. "weren't you going somewhere?"

you were expecting this, flawlessly guessing his next step.

yet you opted to burst the bubble before you'd end up giving your boyfriend a heart attack.

meanwhile scaramouche couldn't believe his own hearing, momentarily he was more than fed up, bewildered, "you know what? forget it."

he pursed his lips, you knew he wasn't good with words so when he made an effort to angrily get up from his seat, you quickly wiggled your arms around his waist to drag him down again, nuzzling into his back when scaramouche plopped back into the cushions with a low heave.

"i was just messing with you." you're clasping on him tighter, further when you noticed a slight shake in his body, "forgive me please."

you're mumbling, hardly a whisper, as scaramouche cradled his body to face you, his lips carved into a purse, it was visible on how displeased and worried he had gotten.

he's accepting your apology in his own ways, kind of.

curling himself into your hug and precisely positioning his lips so they’d ghost against your ear, "do this again and i‘ll get back at you." gently kissing your earlobe, "but so much harder."

— ayato

"i will be free to retire from my duties tonight."

ayato spoke in a tranquil approach while applying a moisturizer on his face, gently massaging it into his skin.

"i'll fetch you later so you can join me for dinner."

it was quite usual for the both of you to plan your day ahead post slumber, above that going over ayato's schedule in particular which was mostly tightly packed and overfilled.

"sounds good to me." you're quick to slip into a cozy garment before lowering yourself to the vanity in his bedroom, smiling and carrying on to finish your daily routine.

taking this into consideration, ayato was set to start his day, slipping himself into his jacket before walking back to you once more.

he's lowering his face to charmingly nudge your jaw, "i'll be leaving now." his knuckles gently stroked down your nape while pondering softly.

subsequently, he quietly settled his lips on your cheek to plant a chaste goodbye kiss on you, "i love you."

that being done, ayato stood tall to walk out of your shared bedroom because normally, in any other instance, you'd say it back anyways, no reason for him to wait.

"until later!" your fingers moved idly over your face, not gifting him a single look back, whatever it was— that was developing right now, ayato at first, had no clue about it.

especially once he's almost reached the door, he figured, wait a minute, how come you still didn't say it back?

strange, he thought.

ayato narrowed his eyes and turned around, carefully observing you, extending all his senses in efforts to get behind the little mystery, and then, in the blink of an eye, it clicked and resonated in him.

"oh." ayato put his deepest, commanding voice, his scent, still hovering throughout the entire room, making you nervous, "so that's the little play you have issued for me today."

you're clearing your throat upon noticing the slight vibrations on the floor, emphasizing that he was walking towards you.

"i don't know what you're talking about, baby."

feigning innocence, you so early deciphered that it was in vein, coming from the mere fact that now, your boyfriend had an amusing grin spread across his smooth lips. "you don't know?"

he slowly clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, quietening his steps once reaching your body and placing his hands on top of your shoulders, watching you through the mirror of the vanity.

he's leaning forward, his shadow overcasting a spell on your body that had all your earlier confidence dissolved into nothingness, you caught yourself panicking and cradled your head to the side to meet his own.

"you know i'm utterly displeased if you act this way."

along the thin skin of your jaw, he planted short kisses on your flesh, his warm, minty breath ghosting over your face, "what way?"

you really wanted to know it now, desired to jump into the cold water without any safety measures.

you took a hard swallow and prolonged the eye contact, "like a brat."

you crooked a smile and then laughed, breathlessly giggling at him.

"ugh, i thought i would win today!"

you, in defeat, dramatically leaned back into the chair to render yourself defenseless, next, cradling his cheek to kiss him tenderly, "sorry."

his animated smile turned your heart ablaze, he was so outlandishly handsome even though he had just woken up half an hour ago.

ayato returned your kiss at the same time, liquifying your touch into his own when he drew himself back, a little, with you still being capable to taste his lips.

"now." he pauses for a brief instance, just a bit, before feebly nudging your nose, "say it back."

— alhaitham

alhaitham had told you, consistently, to be more mindful about your surrounding, urging you to take of yourself, most importantly your overall health.

and at any time you would assure him that you will listen, yet only shrugging his solicitousness off as nothing more than a small scale characteristic of his 'protective boyfriend' nature which traits he would display occasionally.

yet there you were now, sadly— and much to your dismay, vastly nauseous from coughing your literal heart out and attempting to get rid of the gnawing burn in your throat, your stomach churning after every inch of your muscles pulsing.

obviously for alhaitham personally, it was quite funny in the beginning, after all he had told you numerously to look after yourself, that there was a serious flu going around in Sumeru City.

so .. for you to not listen to his advice after all? let's say he wasn't surprised.

"how's my patient doing?" you can hear your boyfriend sing from across the room as you narrowed your eyes upon noticing that damned grin induced on his face, especially at the amusing little ring surrounding the color of his voice.

"what do you want?"

you're speaking lowly, a little raspy while fighting the soreness in your throat, "did you get my medicine?"

you weren't sure if alhaitham purposely took his time to get your treatment or if it was you, in fact, who didn't have any patience left in your frail body.

"of course i did." he's forcefully rolling his eyes, acting all dramatically while childishly swaying the package in his hand.

"what would *you* possibly do without me?"

folding your arms over your body, you intently stared at him now, as if the sole reason he got up in the morning was to get the best of you, mess with you or maybe punish you for not listening sooner.

alhaitham dropped himself onto the bed where you were currently residing in, comfortably nuzzled up in your blanket when you noticed the apparent shift of weight on the mattress.

you're reaching your hand out for the medicine, an invitation clearly made in vein, "can i?" the chill in the air cuts through the haze and pain in your throat, bringing your boiling blood singing on the surface of your cheeks.

as alhaitham made no effort to actually hand it to you, you were on the brink of snapping, attempting to grab it yourself yet he quickly pulled it back. "now, now." he speaks, amused.

"what do we say beforehand?"

"you're joking." your words are short, clumsy and there was something utterly repellent about the hilarity in alhaitham's tone and mannerism, "i'm not."

you're huffing out an exhausted sigh, reflecting the situation in your mind as to how you could pay him back for this behavior, clearly you were aware of how your boyfriend tends to act, how he could be quite a smart ass to you, but mostly to everyone around him.

instantaneously alhaitham breathlessly laughed as he noticed you zoned out, carefully planting the medicine in your palm, "yes, i was joking." his hand drew itself to your cheek to playfully nudge the flesh when he continued his sentence to you, "you're lucky i love you."

"whatever." you spoke and abruptly closed your hand to plump back into the velvety cushions of your shared bed, fully averting his gaze.

"you can go now."

there is a pause before he said anything, your face was hidden in the pillow when he watched over your shoulder.

"so .. you won't say it back or?"

"nope." you were quick to shush him, "really?"

"yes."

"are you sure?"

"yes."

it was an instinct when he suddenly let out a laugh, but an inaudible one, the sound not echoing through the room when it unexpectedly went back to silence.

okay, well, maybe he was a bit harsh today, he figured, you were sick after all so your reaction was valid.

alhaitham carefully sank himself further into the bed so you could perceive his warm body flushed against yours, his broad arm lazily falling over your waist, "okay, okay, i got the message."

whispering in defeat, you suppressed a giggle, cradling your head so you could look at him, "what do we say beforehand?"

the mock in your voice was evident and he did not mind, replying with a chaste kiss on your forehead, "i'm sorry."

— cyno

when it came to something as crucial as playing tcg with your boyfriend cyno, he always urged you to never hold back, to ruthlessly crush him with your cards.

most of the times your boyfriend would get quite competitive as well and you, in all honesty, did not mind. It was cute, really, how his face would slightly scrunch up whenever you were able to land a pivotal hit on one of his cards.

but what was a game .. without some additional fun tucked into it?

especially since cyno was overall a protective boyfriend, you'd love to tickle a new reaction out of him that you never experienced beforehand.

"it seems your cards aren't working well together."

he speaks volumes, two little dimples appearing on either side of his mouth as he chewed on the insides of his cheeks, concentrating and figuring out his next move to take.

"you're always so cruel to me, cyno."

you suddenly blurted out, adding a little mewl.

at this, his eyes abruptly widen in irritation, it wasn't particularly the sentence itself that made him struggle to comprehend what you just said, but the way you had phrased it.

"what?" he says at last, slowly tugging his cards to his body, "you never let me win!"

the contents of his mind have been pinned to your face, eagerly, attempting to decipher what the hell was going on right now.

"and i thought you love me, hm, whatever."

you quickly had to hide your face from him, biting back an evil laugh that was just about to spill when he laid his cards down the table.

"wait." he's panicking and for a moment, you felt bad for even playing this little trick on him, or, messing with his emotions, "of course i love you."

your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt when you acted reluctant to answer.

"oh, that's awkward now."

your mouth split into a half grin, unable to prevent yourself from keeping up your devilish scheme but archons, cyno's face was priceless, he was absolutely bewildered, as if your words alone gave him serious whiplash.

"speak clear to me now."

his words dried in his throat, agonizingly slow, looking just as horrifying as if he was in the midst of working his occupation as a matra, fighting to the brink of utter death.

"when did you plan to tell me that you didn't harbor the same feelings for me after all?"

cyno couldn't feel his heart anymore, yet it was thrumming expressively under his ribcage. 

you breathe in and hold it, nostrils flaring, before you bursted out in a long laugh in front of him, hiding your mouth with the palm of your hand.

"i was just messing with you!"

needless to say, cyno, didn't find it hilarious at all, clicking his tongue while aiming to get up from his seat when you were quick to jump out of your own, dipping him back into the cushions.

"i'm sorry!" you nervously hugged him, tightly wrapping your arms around his neck, "don't be mad."

if only you weren't so sweet or the love of his life then maybe, he could've stayed mad, or at least lectured you about your wrong doings.

but cyno, did not speak at all, rather did he draw himself into you before leaning in to meet your eyes, propping his chin on your shoulder.

"you're a menace." he exhales with a shuddery laugh, shaking his head in disbelieve and rubbing his eyes awake.

the look of deep concern was still vividly noticeable when he danced his hand over your back soothingly, "now's the time." he suddenly words to you, imploring the obvious with his lips barely moving an inch.

"the time for what?" you were confused, lightly pinching his cheek.

"to say it back." he gazes up, his eyes softening like liquid fire, "you forgot to say it back."

©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, translate any of my work

[tarantulasnot]

Sudden ramble because I want to.

Hi! This is the snot that the original tarantula did not expect to sneeze out and it became way more drawn out than I thought it would!!

Content Contains: Yearning, rushed slow burn, Leon is an alcoholic, masturbation, Leon thinks about how much the reader cares and pops a wad, but it means something chat, will have a part two.

Imagine like an old vendetta Leon that lives in a small apartment. Something cheap. After all, it's not like he's going to have any time to actually take care of it. Just dump some of the useless amount of money he has into it every month and crash every once in a while. It's simple, and it keeps his alcohol in a safe place.

But then there was you. The sweet girl next door, barely aware of the horrors of the world. So naive, so God damn innocent with your bright eyes and big dreams. He never expected to see a little ray of sunshine living so close to him. So, it took him by surprised when you greeted him old-fashioned. An apple pie you baked on your downtime to relieve stress from your college life.

Your voice was so sweet. So open-hearted he almost wanted to vomit. "Hi! I'm your next door neighbor (Y/N), and I figured I'd bring you a welcome gift." Your hands gesture the fresh pie towards him, and his nose scrunches up at the sight. What was this? Some kind of cheesy rom-com? What was your angle? Why were you buttering him up like this?

"Thanks." His voice was gruff and low, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation, so you were quick to let it go. "Oh yeah, of course. I live right across from you, so feel free to stop by anytime. I make enough pastries to make a dentist rich." Ah, what a jokester you were.

Still, his blue eyes never left your face. You were such a pretty little thing. So unreal, so contrasting to him. It almost felt impossible. To have such... normalcy in his life.

"Yeah, okay." He took the pie from your hands, and he gave a short wave good-bye before he closed the door. First day here, and he was already feeling like his simple apartment was going to be a hassle. He had to avoid you.

But later that night, he stares down at the pie in front of him. Still in its tin, glaring at him as he sits down across from it. It's clear you put in great effort, and he fiddles with his fork. He can't let it go to waste, and it's not like it was bad. But a part of him felt so wrong. He didn't deserve this. This sweet pastry as opposed to gas station snacks and whatever rations the government decided to supply him with while he was on missions. If those ran out? The fish he'd pick up or the animals he'd shoot down.

The creatures he'd shoot down before leaving them to rot. Not quite that deprived yet.

He took a swig of his flask, relishing in the burn down his throat... and then he dipped his fork into the pie.

Leon had a mission today. Quite literally. Some stupid bio-terrorism somewhere he didn't really pay attention to but would be debriefed on again when he got there. He spent his morning equipping himself with his knife, his gun, some ammo, and whatever other necessities would be most likely to ensure his survival.

He doesn't own any mirrors. He doesn't care to if he's going to come home fucked up anyway. Leon exits the front door, locking it behind him and he heads towards the stairs.

And he sees you again.

Your appearance is so vastly different from his. Your hair has been styled in a way that fits you perfectly, your makeup flawless, and a fresh clean outfit adorns your body to match the messenger bag strewn over one shoulder. Then you smile at him

Did you always smile like that? This frequently?

"Hey again! Did you like the pie last night?" That voice brings him out of his fleeting thoughts, and he nods as you slow your descend down the stone steps. His pace ambling down to match yours.

"Yeah, I did." If Leon had the mind to, he would have given a more sociable, reciprocal reply. However, that's not him anymore. He doesn't care to find the him that would anyway.

"Well that's good. I'm glad." You reply, now walking side by side with him. His icy blue eyes graze over you, the warmth that seems to just radiate off of you.

Eventually, you both reached the bottom, and he finds his bike was parked next to your car. It fits you, and it fits him. Your car, with interior decorations and even a padded steering wheel cover for extra comfort. His bike, which is so easy to flip and likely to be hit. So easy to be in the wrong place at the right time.

"I didn't catch your name yesterday." Good. You didn't need to know it. In the same hand, why was it such a problem? It was just a name.

"Leon. My name's Leon." He replies simply, throwing his leg over his bike as you unlock your car.

"It was nice talking to you again, Leon." You reply with a goodbye wave, and a smile.

Something in his chest leaps. There was something about the way you said his name. It wasn't beckoning him to follow along some plan he wasn't aware of, and it wasn't ordering him to do something. Its just...

Fuck.

Leon rarely ever gets back from missions during the day. However, a week later he does. In a way, it's like a little reprieve. Enough time to patch himself up and relax (to the best he can with the help of alcohol) before he goes to sleep.

So today, as he sits on his couch staring mindlessly at some movie playing on the cheap cable the complex provides, his thoughts wandered. Blurred and aimless as the alcohol continues to pump into his bloodstream. However, he thinks back to the pie that night.

It was the best, and the first one he's had since he was a boy. Did he like it, you asked him. God, he loved it. After the first bite, he was like a man starved man. His mind practically left him as he took bite after bite after bite until there was nothing but tin and crumbs in front of him.

If he wanted to be existential, he felt in some way like he was eating a part of you. It was authentic. Peeled honeycrisp apples not totally softened from the heat, the crust so obviously hand kneaded by the uneven and plushness of it. Plush, like you. Like your cheeks when you smiled. They seemed so soft.

Calloused fingertips came up to his own face, grazing over the stubble and wrinkles there. He clenched his jaw, slamming his hand down and throwing back his flask once again.

Then, his thoughts returned to other things.

To Leon's surprise, there was no call at three in the morning demanding his help with some bio-terrorism or some cooky scientist. Instead, after he'd woken up and began to spike his own coffee, there was a knock at his door.

Well, the good Lord gives, and the good Lord takes away.

Maybe if he didn't see things that God could not have possibly allowed, he might have actually sought the deity out.

Footsteps trudge to his front door, swinging it open and looking down at his visitor. It's you. Of course it's you.

His hands flex on the edge of the door, and his eyes look down at you. "Hi, (Y/N)." He greets you, and once again you give him another smile. God fucking dammit, are you even capable of feeling anything other than optimism?

"Morning Leon! Well, I know you didn't ask, but college has yet again led me into insane amounts of baking. I know you liked the pie last time, so I was wondering if you'd like some breakfast? I have a surplus over here..." You let out a soft laugh at the end of your sentence, tucking hair behind your ear. God your face, the one he'd been thinking about last night.

Mulling over the thought, he agreed. "I don't see why not."

It truly wasn't a long visit. You weren't lying about that, or the surplus you'd whipped up. He wondered how much you spent on ingredients for these little concoctions you made. Maybe he'd give you some money. He had enough of it laying around. Practically useless.

He sat at his table. Staring at the treats you'd covered in saran wrap. It wasn't just pastries either. There was shepherd's pie in a Tupperware dish, chicken pot pie, and he wondered what you did with all this food. Maybe you handed it out to all the neighbors you knew.

Oh. He didn't like that.

He'd already finished his spiked coffee, and was now sipping on straight vodka as he glared down at the sweets. He knew what people were like. He betted they all wanted a piece of you. God, why wouldn't they?

You were sweet, kind, gentle, and you had that fucking smile... looked at him like he was special. Something to care about. Were you pitying him? No, you wouldn't do that.

You were just a good person.

You were gorgeous, too. Such a lethal combination, and you didn't even know it. He wondered if you had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.

He took another swig, his brows furrowing as he tried to think about something else. But alas, he couldn't.

Who wouldn't want to snatch you up? Come over every now and then to look at your smile and your pretty face, and eat the stuff you baked so impulsively.

Who wouldn't want you?

You were young, you'd probably want to do something with a lover. What kind of lover were you? Were you shy and timid? Blushing and moaning softly as someone fucked you?

If he fucked you?

You'd want to settle down probably... you seemed the type. He couldn't settle down, though. Not with all these grueling missions he's forced to do.

But wouldn't it be nice to come home to someone like you? A pretty smile waiting to greet him with food in the oven and a house that wasn't dusty. Full of the life he was missing from himself?

His breathing unconsciously became more labored the more he thought about it. You'd have a limited amount of time with him. He'd make the best of it. Eating the food you made and thanking you. Helping you clean and relaxing with you. Something to keep him company besides the steel flask he brings to his lips again.

He'd fuck you.

His hands would dwarf your thighs as he lifts your hips up and down on his cock while his own hips snap up into you, your warmth. His hand leaves his flask to his forehead as his other hand drifts down his abdomen, skin twitching under his own touch. His brows furrowing as a low groan escapes him.

Would you beg him to slow down? Cry about how full you felt with his cock pressing against every soft contour your cunt had to offer him. Only for him. You'd look up at him with half lidded, fluttering eyes and swollen, parted lips as he fucked you like he needed to.

His head was already muddled from the alcohol, but the lust only made his head swim further and further into untouched depths until he's palming himself through sweapants, his hips shifting and twitching in excitement. A groan tears from his throat. Would you press your palm against him like this? Feel him up with curiosity, unaware of how fucking good it felt?

Would you put him past your lips? Sweet words interrupted by his cock, soft cheeks red and stained with tears as he fucks your throat.

His hand dipped below to his waistband to his throbbing cock. His tip already leaking with anticipation as he spreads the essence over his length.

You were nice, but maybe you weren't as naive as he's making you out to be. Maybe you'd have him laid out on his back, situated between his legs as you stroke him, making him groan and grip the bedsheets because your hands would be so fucking soft. So experienced, gliding over his cock as he's helpless to it. Watching you as you work his old cock with enthusiasm only young girls like you had.

His hand pumps faster, and he's borderline whimpering at the thought. Maybe you'd take care of him. Pin him down with your hands on his chest while your hips slammed down on top of his like your life depended on it. His hips would twitch uselessly, too focused on your cunt sucking him in and the gloss decorating his cock as you used him to make yourself cum. It's the least he can do, after all these pastries you've made him.

Only him.

You'd treat him so fucking good.

"F-Fuck!" Leon can't help himself when a strangled groan escapes his lips, cock shooting white hot ropes into his hand and onto the floor as he cums, thighs twitching and chest heaving as he comes down from his high.

It takes a second for him to get over the aftershock before his eyes flicker open, and he states at the cooling food in front of him. With a sigh, he tucks himself into his pants, and grabs a brownie. His other hand picking up his flask again.

I will make a part two but it's getting late and I'm moving in two days so erm yeah eat your food. The next chapter will be from the reader's perspective muehehe

[apollotronica]

grabbing u by the jugular YOU. i have never seen anyone simultaneously into fangans + enstars + milgram besides me. im no longer a rare breed. i have found a fellow eldritch horror. holy shit

anw hiiii teehee u shld loredump abt that one blond dr oc u made im obsessed w ur art now

i am into So many unrelated things its unreal im crazy

ALSO OMG NOBODUS EVER ASKED AB MY OCS ON HERE GRABS YOU im gonna dump some doodles including the one i posted here :P

(the person beside kie in the 2nd one is my other oc teq, theyre. insane)

SOOOO!!!! his name is kieryuu hinagiku if u cant read my handwriting (oops) n hes the ultimate actor !! not a very original talent but i figured with his personality itd be pretty funny to see how thatd play out

i originally just wanted to make a new oc because i got bored and was thinking but recently ive Also been getting back into dr so i was like hey!! i could make a dr oc!!! and so i did. i always like making antag-aligned characters (the only non-antag character ive made is romeo and hes just a freak) so unfortunately kieryuu is. also antag. what a loser BOO GET OFF THE STAGE

when i was asking for name suggestions @yumeoarakawa suggested the name "kie" and i was like THAT GOES HARD and kie kinda sounds 消える (kieru, meaning to vanish or disappear) but i didnt want to make it too obvious that was the word i thought of so i went for kieryuu instead !!! but i also just call him kie for funsies . his last name means daises cuz hes a stupid idiot twink

AS FOR KIE'S PERSONALITY!! at first he comes off as timid and shy and low self esteem and all that but if you say anything more than "its nice to meet you my name is x whats your name ok cool thanks bye" he immediately unfurls himself to be the most stuck up horrible piece of shit you could ever meet. bro seems to only care about being "cute" and thinks that everything bad he says or does can be justified by his cuteness and talent . if asked why he doesnt just act as sweet as he does on stage so people like him more he'd probably respond with some shit like "that's way too much effort for someone as cute as me, y'know..? plus, whatever people think doesn't matter as long as i'm being good for the camera.."

he doesnt rlly care much ab anything that doesnt have to do with him but he Is very lonely and actively tries to talk to people (even if they all hate his bitchass Lol)

itty bitty kie doodle for u <3 TY FOR ASKING <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[janjarmad-blog]

i like plants

I keep my plants in pots

And I really like them

Roots, leaves, petals, and stem

They grow and live and breathe

They stay and never leave

Not causing me to grieve

They kindly clean my air

Only asking I share

The water I have spare

And my love and some care

Why are plants so dear to me?

They just seem so carefree

Living their lives peacefully

Be it rose, grass or tree

Maybe leaves are the key?

They’re pleasing to the eye

Have never made me cry

My very best I try

To not let them get dry

Really, only a fool

Fool, or maybe a tool

Would say they don’t look cool

Watch them reach to the light

Their leaves and petals bright

I keep my friends in pots

[odetojeons]

Will You Punish Me If I Don’t? — Jeon Wonwoo

request:  a lil drunk reader × possessive wonu angry sex pls

tags: fem and brat!reader, dom!wonwoo, edging, semi-public sex, angry sex, rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), a tiiiiiny bit of light degradation and spit kink, unprotected sex (stay safe), wall sex (oh yes you read that right), a whole lot of dirty talk, JEON WONWOO IN A CROP TOP BYE, established jeon wonwoo x reader

a/n: this took me a whole fucking day to write it 💀 i think my soul left my body on the meantime and now i’m just a spirit,, but i love this so much, pls, possessive wonu is one of the biggest moods ever 🥵 also i’m sure i made a lot of stupid grammar mistakes that i didn’t realize even after proof reading it, so you’re just gonna,, pretend you don’t see those :)) i hope you enjoy, i made this with all my heart JDJSJDJS

word count:  6244

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You know very well you’re being annoying and petty today.

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You both have been on this damn party for a while and you tried to get Wonwoo to leave and fuck you for at least five times now. You tried dirty dancing on the dance floor; nope. You tried sitting on his lap when he was talking to his friends; nope. You even tried to make out with him; but it only had lasted for a few minutes.

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It had you even more horny and angry. And that is never a good combination when it comes to you.

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But can people really blame you when Wonwoo is looking that good? You have been making a great amount of effort not to stare too much at Wonwoo’s abs peeking from his black cropped shirt, the sharpness of his V-line more visible than it should be legally allowed — it’s bad for your poor heart after all. But you do a poor job of hiding how the whole outfit affects you, because Wonwoo was looking and he had this known glint swimming inside his eyes and it’s got you licking your lips. 

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But still, he didn’t do anything.

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Well, not until you used your last resort.

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Your mind threw back to the memory of Wonwoo’s big hand resting on your inner thigh earlier when you were sitting in his lap, the veins in the back of his palm tracing a dirty path up to his forearms. And there’s always a strength, even a possessiveness in the way he holds you, his other hand squeezing a little hard against your waist, grip tightening every time someone stares at you for a second too long. There’s something so raw in the way he acts, like it’s almost unconscious, and it turns you on without a doubt.

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No matter how you looked at other people and tried to rile him up, Wonwoo still remained in his stupid composed behavior, this little acts being the only proof of his jealousy. 

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But not tonight. Tonight you were going to make him snap, no matter what. You were gonna make him fuck you rough and fast and give you as many orgasms as you wanted.

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Oh, but you were so wrong. Things totally backfired at you.

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You started by going into the dance floor again, after a few shots of some liquid courage. Swaying your hips at the beat, you tried your best to throw sultry looks at where he was sitting — manspreading, your brain unfortunately added, because he looked so hot doing that — in one of the sofas, eyes set on you like you’re the only thing that he could ever look at.

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You smirked, pleased with his reaction, before proceeding with your plan. Hands reaching forward, you touched the shoulder of the first guy you saw in front of you. It doesn’t take long for him to turn around and smile. He seemed genuinely nice, so you felt a little bad for using him to make your boyfriend jealous, but when you looked at him the guilt disappeared in two seconds.

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His head was hung low, eyebrows frown and fists clenched in where he supported his arms on the sofa. You winked at him and clearly saw how he seemed to almost visibly snarl at your teasing, knowing very well what was your intent with all of that; Wonwoo looked at you like he was about to consume you whole in front of everyone just to prove who you belonged to — and you felt your legs tremble at the idea of that.

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It was a game to see who would give in first; you to your frustration and horniness or Wonwoo to his possessives and jealousy. You couldn’t stop staring at him, the both of you shooting daggers into each other, especially when you turned your back to the guy and swayed your hips obscenely for him. 

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But it was when he put his hand on your waist and glued his lips to your ear that things started taking a turn of events; in the next second, Wonwoo was standing right beside you. The air grew thicker quickly, and your breath was knocked out of you at the sight of your — very pissed off and very hot — boyfriend looking down at you. 

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“What do you think you’re doing?” Wonwoo’s voice had rang through your ears, loud enough to make you mewl softly even through all the music going on in the background.

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“Dancing?” you asked with fake innocence, batting your eyelashes at him. Wonwoo groaned, grabbing your wrist.

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“Um,” the guy from before started. “I think I should be going now?”

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He waited for an answer, but you and Wonwoo were too busy looking at each other intensively to even care, so he cleared his throat and left.

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“Let’s go,” he stated simply, pulling at you through the crowd so you both could go outside. You giggle a little when you trip on your foot, a bit tipsy with the shots you took.

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And that’s how you find yourself currently being guided until you were both right in front of his car. Your mouth opens, ready to make a clever comment that would surely rile him up and give in to what you want, before he turns around and gets all over your personal space, so suddenly that the words get stuck in your throat. The scent of his cedarwood cologne invades your lungs, sending your mind into a little haze.

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“What were you thinking, letting another man touch you?” Wonwoo says, voice rough and firm, lips pressed into a thin line like he was still holding something back.

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And you don’t want him to.

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“You took too long, and I have needs,” you retort, stepping up into his space too, not wanting to back down even when the sight of Wonwoo’s dark, dark eyes bleeding with lust made a very noticeable shiver run down your spine.

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“What kind of need would even make you want to rub yourself all over someone else that—” he stops himself, closing his mouth before groaning, annoyed. You smirk at him, knowing what he was going to say.

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All over someone else that isn’t me.

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“Hmm, let me see,” you giggle, face centimeters apart from his, your breaths mingling with each other. “A need to get fucked hard, for starters.”

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The intensity of his gaze growing exponentially dark wipes the smile off your face in seconds. You try not to gulp when he scoffs, taking one messy step back when he takes one further.

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“So that’s what this is about?” Wonwoo questions, tone suddenly mean and sarcastic, and there’s heat licking and pooling at your lower belly faster than you expected. His deep voice never fails to leave you trembling. “You’re so desperate to get railed that you couldn’t even wait to get home before throwing yourself at some random dude.”

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Your cheeks tint red in shame and arousal, realizing this wasn’t a question. It was an affirmation, like he knows exactly how horny you are, and you try to remain composed. You are not going to give up until he loses it.

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“Maybe,” you say, a single finger trailing through his torso distractingly, and you don’t even try to hide your hunger when you look at his abs peeking from behind his cropped. Wonwoo’s face hardens at that, and you smile internally in victory. “Why? Are you jealous, baby?”

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He laughs, throwing his head back, but it only serves to make you even more satisfied. That’s exactly the reaction you expected him to have.

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“You’re drunk,” Wonwoo answers instead, and you think it’s endearing how he denies so hard that he’s not possessive.

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“Nope,” you press your finger in his chest again, but he doesn’t even buge from the place. Fuck, that’s hot, you think, licking your lips and watching Wonwoo’s eyes zeroing in the action. “A little bit tipsy? Yes. But drunk? Not at all.”

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Suddenly, you back away, trying to ignore the way your body protests against the lack of warmth, the lack of Wonwoo.

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“So if you’re not jealous, then you wouldn’t mind me getting off with someone else, right?” you trail off, feeling proud of yourself when he looks at you like you just made something emerge from the ground with psychic powers.

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“What?” he asks, tone furious, and you jump a little in place with the intensity of it, but soon recovers with a pout.

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“I mean,” you start, acting like you’re not saying the biggest stupid thing you could ever think of saying, shrugging at him. Of course it was all a lie, there’s no way you’ll ever want someone else other than Wonwoo. “You’re always telling me to wait and wait and wait, so if you’re not that jealous, then maybe I should get someone else to fuck me when you can’t.”

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Wonwoo moves so fast your brain takes a time to understand what he just did; in a second you were standing with your glorious bratty attitude, the next you were pushed against the car, one hand squeezing your jaw tight in place and the other holding your wrists behind your back. His bigger and broader body pins yours against the door, and you have a hard time breathing now.

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Now that’s a way to sober up.

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“No,” he grits out, sounding more like a growl than an actual word. Your heart is hammering like crazy against your chest, and you gasp softly when he pushes your jaw backwards until the back of your head hits the car, neck exposed for him. “No one should be allowed to touch you like this. No one but me. No one.”

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Then Wonwoo bites the juncture of your neck and shoulder, so hard you think the mark is gonna be there for days. You moan at that, hips kicking and shocking with Wonwoo’s.

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“You know nobody could fuck you like I do,” he says, sounding smug but also dead serious, and this cocky side of his during such moments never fails to make you wet.

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You inhale, reuniting the fight there’s still in you. To be honest the only thing that makes you still retort back is the alcohol. It gives you a special ability of not being able to shut up.

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“I guess someone else will have to fuck me so I can believe you.”

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You watch his demeanor change instantly at that; shoulders tensing, jaw clenching and predatory eyes — Wonwoo kisses the breath out of you. He sucks at your body lip, licking at the seam of your mouth, and you gasp, mouth parting and his tongue slides against yours. There’s a hot flash rushing all over you as your body pulses with want; Wonwoo has always been a great kisser, capable of surrendering you putty in his hands.

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He kisses you again and again and again, as if someone might take you away. He kisses you like he wants to carve his identity in your soul. He kisses you so messy and hungry that your teeth actually clack and the sounds of your lips dragging roughly and tongues rubbing against each other fills the air around you.

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Wonwoo can probably taste the alcohol, if the way he moans is anything to go by.

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It is dirty, lewd and so fucking hot you feel the fight leaving your body momentarily along with your breath, lungs burning with the lack of oxygen. There are a few tears gathering in the corner of your eyes, and you don’t even realize their presence, but then, and only then, Wonwoo pulls away. He bites at your lower lip one more time, a lewd string of saliva connecting your mouths for a short while before it breaks.

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“Seems like you suddenly forgot who’s name you scream when you’re getting railed,” Wonwoo tells you, voice poisonous and labored breath caressing the skin of your neck. “Should I remind you?”

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“Y-yes,” you moan out, enjoying the proposal, but it only serves to make Wonwoo scoff.

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“I think you need to learn how to respect me first,” he says instead, and there’s butterflies swarming together in your belly, chest still heaving for air.

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“Will you punish me if I don’t?” you retort, staring him right back in the eyes.

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Wonwoo growls.

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“You better shut the fuck up before I make you regret,” he says, and you feel a shiver rocking so bad on your body that your hips collide into Wonwoo’s, his half hard cock pressing against your stomach. The feeling makes you moan.

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“Why would I?” you ask, trembling voice giving away how much this all affects you. “I want this.”

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There’s a bit of silence before you continue.

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“Make me regret.”

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“Fuck,” Wonwoo groans, biting on your neck again, this time so far up that you won’t be able to hide it that easily. “So needy you can’t even think about anything else other than having a cock drilling into you.”

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Wonwoo kisses your moan away, sucks at your bottom lip until it’s swollen. Then, he puts three fingers in your mouth, like he’s telling you to shut up.

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Wonwoo turns his head to look down at your shuddering frame trapped between the side of the car and him. You don’t look up, too focused on sucking at his long fingers, but when Wonwoo starts to move his arm that was occupied by your mouth, you stir, and look up to meet his eyes.

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They’re dark, with a glint in them you could only recognize as devious and wicked and so so so mean. It’s the same glint he gets when he’s about to deal out a punishment, or tease you enough that you believe it’s a punishment. It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand, and a bead of sweat drips from your eyebrow. You wonder what you’ve got yourself in for the night when you both get home.

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As if on cue, answering your arousal hazed thoughts, the hand that was slowly doing a dangerous path down your body settles itself on the front of your pants. It’s heavy on your clit, and you can feel Wonwoo digging his fingers into your entrance. You barely have the sense to react, and even if you could, you reminded yourself you weren’t home yet. Wonwoo now has his hand groping your pussy in public.

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Your face flushes a dark red at the realization, feeling humiliated and embarrassed under Wonwoo’s grip. If someone were to see, they’d get arrested for sure. Wonwoo’s hand has a strong grip on your clit, fingers quickly slipping past the thick fabric of your denim jeans and lace panties so he could press the pad of it against your naked and wet folds.

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You whine quietly, and now that the hold on your jaw has been set loose, you nestle your face further into the crook of Wonwoo’s neck. With a grip on Wonwoo’s jacket, you feel him angling his head so it rests against the top of your head.

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“Wait, f-fuck, someone might see us!” you whisper-yell at him, but Wonwoo only hums and steps in closer. Your chests are flush together and he towers over your frame easily enough to hide you between him and the car. “Wonwoo—”

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Your sentence gets interrupted by your own moan when he presses a finger inside of you. You quiver, legs trembling, and you let the realization that Wonwoo is about to finger you publicly sink into your stomach. You know that the streets are deserted and there’s not one single soul around there since it’s so late, but the thought of it still has you gasping.

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“Wait? But weren’t you the one complaining about me making you wait all the time?” Wonwoo bites back, tone mean and unforgiving when he fucks his finger inside of you. He sounds almost angry and it’s making you so damn horny. “Earlier you were looking at me with such a hunger. I bet you were thinking about me fucking you in front of everyone, weren’t you, baby?”

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You moan because yes, that was exactly what you were thinking. His hand lets go of your wrists when he adds another finger inside of you. It burns a little, you think, but enjoys the pain as your arms fly up to circle around his neck and pull him closer. Wonwoo goes easily, mouth finding yours and fingers fucking inside you in a way that has you squirming.

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He soon gives attention to your neck, kissing all over it before sucking a wet blotch against the skin right underneath your jaw. Wonwoo pulls away, looking at it for a while like it gives him some sort of feral satisfaction to see you bearing one of his marks.

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“Wonwoo, I’m n-not—” your words break off into a whine, struggling to form sentences. “Not— g-gonna be able to hide the, ah, hickey i-if you suck it that far up.”

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“Good,” Wonwoo says, and his mouth finds your neck. You scratch his scalp when he sucks again, this time harder, his arm coming to help you up when your legs give in. “Want everyone to know you’re mine. Only mine to fuck, to breed, to love, to cherish, to make you my little slut.”

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You throw your head, back arching off of the car and mouth opening to let a high pitched moan scape you. Wonwoo then adds another finger, the third one, and gyrates them so hard inside you you actually feel like you’re seeing stars, figuratively and realistically — the night sky above you is adorned with a few of them.

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“Acting like a brat and riling me up like that, this is what you wanted, isn’t that right, princess?” Wonwoo spits out, lips pressed into a thin line as if he’s getting more and more angry at his own words. “If I didn’t stop you right there, would you have continued dancing with that dude, huh? Would you maybe have made out with him?”

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You try to answer, maybe tease him back again, but you can’t even form a coercive sentence. The only thing you can do is hold onto Wonwoo like your life depends on it as he fucks you furiously with his fingers, and take whatever he’s willing to give it to you. 

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“Do you think he could finger you like this?” Wonwoo says poisonously, hand squeezing at your ass hard enough that you think it’s gonna leave the print of his fingers. “Think he would have a bigger cock than mine?”

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He ruts against you as if to prove his point, hard and so fucking big it has you breathless. You know how your boyfriend is well-endowed, know he could make you feel him for days after a good fuck and your mouth salivates. Wonwoo presses the pad of his fingers in your sweet spot, jamming against it without pulling out with quick movements, and you feel like you’re going insane.

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“Since you put a lot of effort into being a fucking brat today, I will give you what you want, sweetheart,” Wonwoo laughs a little, almost as if he’s mocking you, and your whole face burns in pleasurable humiliation. “I’m gonna be rough. I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast against every surface of our house, gonna make you scream my name so everyone knows you belong to me, gonna use you, make you my little ragdoll and dump you full of my cum until you’re all heavy and swollen with it.”

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“Wonwoo— your f-fuck, fucking dirty mouth, ah—” you thrash in his grip, nestling your face further into his neck and he knew, he knew all along what was your intention with the way you were acting, and you hold tight on his hair, hearing him growl when you pull at it. “I’m gonna come. Gonna cum s-so fucking hard, fuck—”

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“I’ll make it hurt,” Wonwoo warns, his lips ghosting at the shell of your ear and hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, brings goosebumps all over it. “But I’ll make it feel good.”

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The pleasure builds quickly and you throw your head back with a loud moan, orgasm almost hitting you like a train.

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But then, everything stops. Wonwoo pulls away, fingers slipping out of you and he wipes them in his jeans. He then goes through his pocket and grabs the car keys, the familiar beep sound echoing through the empty streets when he clicks a button on the key chain, and it’s got you completely dumbfounded.

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“Come on, get in the car, baby,” Wonwoo states simply, like he didn’t just make the best orgasm of your life ebb away. Frustration sinks deep within your bones and you groan, turning to look at him like he just committed a war crime.

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“Why did you— why did you stop?” you question, heart almost jumping out of your chest and you feel like you’re going to actually die if you don’t get to come soon. “I was just there!”

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“Oh, sweetheart,” Wonwoo coos at you like he finds what you just said endearing. Face flushing dark red, you get completely embarrassed with how quick he makes you feel small. “You thought I was going to make you cum?”

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Wonwoo comes closer, holds your chin softly, a total contrast to what he says then.

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“Poor baby, I’m actually going to do the exact opposite.” he pecks your lips once. “Gonna edge you until you cry.”

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He goes around the car and opens the door for you.

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“Now get in, baby. Don’t make me repeat myself,” Wonwoo says, tone leaving no room for arguments, and you gulp before obeying.

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Wonwoo closes the door for you when you finish settling yourself inside, and goes to the driver’s seat. You watch him turn the car on as you put your seatbelt, whining when your cunt throbs in need. When he starts driving you try your best to move as quietly as you can, squirming a little until you can smooth your fingers through your clit. You gyrate them once, pleasure swarming all over your body, before Wonwoo’s voice wakes you up from your short haze.

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“No touching yourself,” he admonishes with a tsk and you groan, frustrated. He’s still looking at the road and you don’t even know how he managed to figure it out that you were touching yourself.

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Staring out of the window, your thighs rub together every time the car shakes a little. Your mind supplies unnecessary images of your boyfriend fucking you, and you curse a little. Even trying to imagine disgusting things wouldn’t delete Wonwoo’s words from earlier out of your head, and you’re getting more and more excited by the second.

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“Wonwon…” you sigh, almost a whisper, hips moving in the air and hands coming to grab at one of your breasts. You smirk, content when you hear him growl.

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“I said not to touch yourself,” Wonwoo’s knuckles turn white with how hard he grips the steering wheel. “Should I tie you up in our bed and leave you untouched or are you going to start obeying me?”

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“But you’re not doing anything,” you whine, wanting nothing else then to come.

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“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” Wonwoo says, voice low and dead serious.

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“I don’t think you know either.”

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The car comes to a complete stop right after you say that. You gulp, realizing Wonwoo has already parked in your private garage. He gets out of the car and goes to your side, opening the door, still in complete silence.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Turn this way,” he orders, voice one octave lower, and you gasp at the roughness of it. “Now.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You spring into action, take your seatbelt off, doing as you’re told, and as soon as you finish turning to him with your legs outside of the car, he gets on his knees.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-Wonwoo,” it’s the only thing you manage to say as you watch him work with your pants after taking your shoes off. He ends up popping the button off but you don’t have it in you to complain, not when he’s looking like that. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo finishes taking your jeans off, throwing somewhere in the garage, and then he grabs at both sides of the collar of your shirt. You frown, confused with the action, but then his hands are pulling, and he rips it in half.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwoo,” you moan, beyond turned on as he does the same to your penties. Your clothes are torn apart but you can’t think of anything else other than fuck me fuck me fuck me. “I—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo kisses you shut, lips dragging hard against yours, and you feel his hands at your thighs before he pulls at them enough so that you slip on your seat. He uses the grip to open your legs for him, not even giving you a break to understand what’s going on before sucking on your clit hard.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your back arches, hands scrambling to hold on something — one of them finds the steering wheel and the other finds the wadding of the seat, body thrashing everywhere before Wonwoo pins your hips down in place — knows better than to shove his face in your cunt as you originally wanted to do.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He licks between your folds one, two, three times; the tip of his tongue prods inside your already loose entrance, and fuck if you didn’t moan, high pitched and greedy for more. Wonwoo inserts more of it until his nose is pressed against your clit, doing a sound in the back of his throat that sends just right. The wetness of his tongue feels so good pressing against your cores and kicking at your soft folds.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-Wonwoo, fuck— f-feels so good—” Wonwoo thrusts his tongue inside you, and you feel like you’re seeing stars, especially when he presses just right. “Ah! Shit, your f-fucking tongue—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo has to hold you down tighter, your body unable to stay put as you thrash around. You feel tempted to think how your neighbors could probably hear you, but your boyfriend is sucking the life out of you through your pussy and you can’t concentrate well enough to elaborate the thought.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It’s when Wonwoo curls his tongue just right that has you thinking you would ascend to heaven soon. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck! I, ah— Wanna cum, Wonwon, I’m coming, please— let me cum this time,” you manage to get out, writhing and legs kicking everywhere. “Please!”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But, of course Wonwoo, being the little shit he is, pulls away. Tears gather in your eyes as you groan out of frustration, and Wonwoo is just so mean.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shit—” you cry out, watching his shit eating grin. You hate but love at the same time the way he’s absolutely enjoying seeing you so desperate for a release. “Y-you’re so mean.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Are you gonna stop being a brat now?” Wonwoo raises a brow at you, licking his lips. You shiver, knowing that he’s tasting you by the pleased hum he makes after.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck you,” you spit it out, too horny and angry to care.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Is that so?” he hums, looking at you as if you’re his prey, to which you’re starting to believe you actually are. “Maybe I should put a gag in this dirty little mouth of yours.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo traces a thumb in your lower lip like he’s considering the thought.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“But I think I’m just gonna fuck that attitude out of you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You can’t even bring yourself to enjoy the comment before he pulls on your wrist so hard you get up from the seat, body colliding into his. Wonwoo’s mouth finds yours, the kiss messy and hungry and angry, to the point it makes your legs weak. Your hands scramble to take his shirt off right after you manage to throw his belt somewhere, and you stop for a moment to admire the hard planes of his abs.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo must be the hottest person alive. How can someone have such a handsome face and have a body that looks like it’s sculpted by the gods? He’s getting stronger with his gym practices and it's making you weak.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You might actually drool if you keep staring like that,” Wonwoo says, half joking and half serious, but you blush anyways.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Just—” you try, breath labored and chest heaving. “J-just rail me. Use me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah? Want me to treat you like the slut you are?” his lewd question makes you tremble and nod your head. “Speak.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yes, please—” you beg, revolve slowly breaking in.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Of course you do,” he answers, voice a few octave lowers again, and he grabs a fistful of your hair. Wonwoo pulls at it until your head is thrown back, his face right above yours. “Open your mouth.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re quick to obey, mouth parting as he hovers over you, the only thing keeping you up is one of his arms around your waist.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And oh god, you’re certainly not expecting when he fucking spits into your mouth, a hand coming to press against your jaw and make you close your lips, but you sure as hell want him to do it again.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Swallow.” Wonwoo orders, and you moan, doing as you’re told. He looks at you with a feral satisfaction, eyes dark and so full of hunger it stunts you into silence. It’s like there’s this lustful wish of him to break you in until you don’t belong to anyone else but him, and that’s so fucking hot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He kisses you for what feels like the hundredth time — not that you’re complaining, he could kiss you for one hundred more and you’d still beg for it. But this time there’s something different, something urgent, and he grasps the back of your thighs when he finishes taking his clothes off and fish something from the pocket of his pants, hefting you up in the air, your legs circling around his waist automatically.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo doesn’t break the messy kiss as he walks through the garage, opening the door that leads to the inside of the house. He doesn’t waste time before slamming you into it as soon as he closes it, your back hitting the wooden frame with a loud thud as the two of you make out like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s too much tongue and too much spit and too much teeth, but the dirtiness of it all is what makes it even more hot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Want you,” you whine out, realizing that what Wonwoo took out of his pants earlier was a package of lube.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He rips at the top and pours at his hands, reaching behind you to stroke his hard cock, groaning at the feeling as he lines up with your entrance. The wet head nudges your rim softly, but it slips through your folds. You look at Wonwoo only to realize he’s already staring at you, devious glint in his eyes.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re about to tell him to hurry up when a moan is punched out of you, high pitched and needy, because Wonwoo fucked his cock inside you in one go, nearly knocking the breath right out of your lungs. Your nails scratch all over his back and he groans at the feeling, hips kicking into you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You like that?” he questions, rhetorically of course, and grinds his hips until they are flushed against your ass. You gasp for air, feeling full to the brim, and the burn in your cunt is just so good. “Think I don’t know about your little plans to rile me up?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo even has the audacity to laugh, jamming inside you with slow but deep thrusts.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“How you get more handsy with your friends when I’m around,” he grits out, anger bleeding through his thoughts and thrusts like he just hates the idea of you touching more intimately other people. “And you look at me with those eyes. Like you’re begging me to claim you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Holy fuck, Jeon Wonwoo is fucking you standing up and you’re not dreaming.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo is full on mercilessly ramming you now, sending you body into the door with every plunge of his cock, the sound of your back hitting the wood obscenely loud. It leaves you putty, can just take what he’s giving you, hands holding him for dear life.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Should’ve put you on your knees right in front of that guy,” Wonwoo continues, breath ragged from effort. “Make you choke on my cock so he knows who you belong to.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo grabs your ass with his hands, palms sinking into the flash as he propels you back every time he fucks up. It makes the drag of his thickness press right through all the good spots.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Should’ve bent you over the bar counter and fucked you hard until you scream my fucking name,” he growls out, the veins on his neck and arms bulging. You tighten around him in answer to the sinful view. “Fuck, your pussy is so greedy. Always so tight—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo angles his hips just right and hits against your sweet spot so suddenly that your climax — which was already at bay — escalates quickly to the point it sends your mind into a frenzy.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And, for the third time, Wonwoo slows down, hips flush against your ass he can nudge his cockhead right above your sweet spot, missing it on purpose. Your eyes prickle with tears, and it doesn’t take long for them to run down your face; the first one goes reluctantly, but after that they start cascading down your cheeks uncontrollably.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So beautiful,” Wonwoo groans at the sight of you crying for him, pecking one of your tears strained cheek. “I’ve broken you in, haven’t I?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“P-please, Wonwon— Please, please, please let me c-come,” you sob, all the want to be a brat gone from your body. The overwhelming need grows so exponentially big inside of you you feel like you’re going to explode if you don’t orgasm.  “W-wanna cum on your cock, please, ah—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo is moaning, louder than he has all day, and the satisfaction of seeing you give up on your fight and beg for him makes his hips pick up a brutal pace. You gasp, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck and biting at the untouched skin.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So pretty when you beg,” he compliments, and you actually find surprising your ability to blush even when you’re being dicked down this good. “Does it feel good, sweetheart?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yes— Ah! Hmmm, shit—” you mumble, struggling to get words out. It’s difficult to keep your voice steady enough to say anything with the way you’re bouncing like a ragdoll on Wonwoo’s hold. “Love this— L-love you, ruin me, Wonwoo, Wonwon—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo pulls your head backward with a fistful of your hair, baring your neck so that he could attack it with bites and hickeys all over. You’re sure that, by the end of this night, you’re going to be looking like some type of sexual Christmas tree, but the thought of baring your boyfriend’s marks after sex only turns you on. And he seems pretty intent on that, wanting to claim you in all ways possible.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Say it,” Wonwoo commands, but you don’t understand, can’t understand with your mind being in such a pleasurable haze. He fucks up right in the time he pulls you back down by your waist, downright impaling you on his cock. “Say you’re mine.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yours,” you answer, fingers intertwining through Wonwoo’s dark strands of hair. “I’m yours.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Again,” Wonwoo growls out, basking in your pleads and moans and screams of pleasure.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yours,” you repeat, and he bites on your lower lip. You have enough of a mind presence to admire his bulging biceps contorting with your weight, and his huge test firm and sweaty from the effort.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Again,” his possessive side gets the best of him, admiring all the marks he has left in your neck. “Say it again.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yours, ah!” a moan breaks at the end of the word, Wonwoo’s thrusts getting rougher, faster and there’s heat pooling down on your lower stomach. “I’m y-yours, all yours, only yours.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yes, mine,” Wonwoo agrees, holding your smaller frame tightly against his. “Mine,” he echoes again, muscles trembling from fucking you standing up.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo kisses you, the best he can with the harsh movement of your body going up and down on his cock.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you so much,” he tells you, voice soft and rough at the same time. “I have always been only yours.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’m gonna come, I’m g-going to— going to come,” you state after his words, the pull on your lower stomach growing impossibly higher, and it’s almost unbearable. “Please, fuck, please l-let— cum— let m-me cum! I have been g-good, please, Wonwon—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

”Such a good girl for me. The best girl,” Wonwoo praises, angling his hips a little so he can press his cockhead against your sweet spot every time he fucks inside. “Come on, you can cum, sweetheart.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your eyes roll so far back in your head you’re momentarily afraid they are never coming back. White hot pleasure surges in your body, the sheer intensity of your high sends your mind into a mess. The feeling of your walls clenching like a vice around Wonwoo’s cock sends him over the edge too, and the sensation of his cum shooting inside your walls only serves to add up to what you think it’s the best orgasm of your life, mind going completely blank.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

This might have been totally different from what you’ve originally planned but you know what? You’re definitely going to use this plan more often now.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

[moldisgoodforyou]

you’re excused

wordcount: 2.6k

warning: hinting at smut

_______

After another late night out, the group of four stumbled into the pizza shop they frequented regularly - Sophie leaned on Rafe, Colin was walking like he hadn’t had a drink all night, and James was leaning on the other side of Rafe, like liquid when he was drunk. Rafe fished his AmEx out of his pocket like usual and slid it across the counter, authoritative. “Hey man, how’s your night? We’ll take a large pepperoni.”

The cashier shrugged, pointing to the sign on the register. “Cash only, dude. Sorry man.”

“Damn, cash-only? Since when?” Colin lamented, turning to leave the pizza shop.

“Oh!” Sophie’s face lit up. “I know what to do.” She went to pull up the hem of her tank top and Rafe grabbed her insanely quick, arms wrapped tight around her chest. “Absolutely fucking not, Sophie.”

“I’m just using my assets!” She protested, squirming in his grip. He kept a tight hold on her, practically frog marching her out of the shop.

James laughed, shaking his head. “Bold move, Soph. I appreciate the effort.”

“Not in a million fucking years.” Rafe grumbled, holding her tight.

“This is blatant misogyny.” She argued, trying to wrestle her way out of his arms.

He didn’t let her move an inch. “By not letting you show your tits?”

“Yes. They’re great tits, the world deserves to see them.”

“Good god.” He sighed, only letting her go when she stopped moving. “No. Only I deserve to see them.”

“No, dude, I think she has a point. That sounds pretty misogynistic to me.” James pointed out, only for Rafe to sock him in the arm.

“Don’t ever talk about her tits again -"

“I wasn’t technically talking about her tits, I was talking about the concept -"

As the two started to wrestle, Sophie slipped back inside the pizza shop. She found three dollars in her pocket and gave it to the cashier, then returned with two large slices of pizza, handing one to Colin. The boys stopped wrestling abruptly when they saw the exchange. “Hey, wait, I want one.” Rafe protested.

“No. You didn’t let me show off my boobs.” She replied primly, taking a large bite of the pizza.

“You didn’t - Sophie. No. You didn’t.” He glanced back and forth between her and the pizza shop, confused.

Sophie grinned, strolling forward to link arms with Colin and kept walking, with no response.

Colin smirked and leaned down, whispering. “Are you gonna tell him you found cash or should I?”

“Nah. He’ll get over it.” She shrugged and tapped her crust against his. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

Rafe jogged to catch up, walking next to the two of them. “Wait, I want some. I’m hungry too.”

She made a show of taking a big bite. “Mmm. I’m sure you are. It’s really good, Rafe.”

He frowned. “Can I have the crust at least? You never eat the crust.”

“I dunno, this crust is really good this time.” She replied. “Are we still going to my place?”

“We’re going to your place?” James chimed in, unsure. He nearly tripped over his feet as he tried to shove himself in on the sidewalk so they walked four across. “I wanna go home instead.”

“No, you two aren’t coming.” Rafe shook his head, then looked to Sophie for confirmation. “Right?”

She finished the majority of the pizza and handed the rest to Rafe, holding back a smile at the grin that lit up his face. “Yeah, it’s just us. Unless you guys want to…?”

“No, we’ll go home.” Colin nodded up at the upcoming intersection. “This is us anyways, we’ll see you ‘round. James, this way, buddy.”

“Bye!” James waved, peeling off with Colin. Once they were out of sight and Rafe finished the pizza, he glanced over at her, unsure.

“You didn’t really flash that guy, did you?”

“Might have.” She shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters.”

“Okay. No, I didn’t, I found cash in my pocket. I would have though.”

“I know you would have.” He grumbled. “How drunk are you?”

She squinted, holding up her thumb and her pointer finger close together. “Only a lil’ bit. We can still hook up, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

He groaned, rolling his eyes. “You have to stop calling it hooking up. We’ve been dating for nearly a year.”

“Eleven months is not nearly a year.” She retorted, checking her hip against his. “What do you wanna do?”

“We’re still sticking to that November date instead of Halloween? Huh?”

“Yeah. We are. What position?” He could tell she was drunk because she spoke a little too loudly, her tongue slipping over some of her words. “We could do reverse cowgirl, 69 - we haven’t tried that, um -”

“Sophie -”

“Missionary, I guess, but that’s kind of boring -”

“Jesus, Soph, please shut up -”

She raised her eyebrows, stepping in front of him to cut him off. “Excuse me?”

He sighed and reached into his pockets, adjusting his shorts, and was thankful it was dark enough to hide his situation. “You’re excused. Can we go home?”

Her eyes flicked down to below his belt and back up to his eyes, with a smug grin. “What are you gonna do to me?”

“Sophie.”

“I bet you wouldn’t even last if I go down on you. You’re so predictable.” Sophie smirked, knowing she was pushing Rafe to his limit.

He reacted instantly, reaching out and catching her forearm and pinned her against a parked car in the alley, caging her in around her head with his forearms.

She inhaled sharply, caught off guard with wide eyes.

He grinned, leaned in close and whispered in her ear. “What was that?”

“Um. I, uh, I don’t know.” She stuttered, feeling her knees go a little weak as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

“Something about me being predictable?” He supplied, giving her a kiss on the cheek then pulled away like nothing had happened. “Hm?”

She took a moment to compose herself, swallowing hard. “You’ve done that before.”

“No I haven’t.” He argued, taking her hand.

“You have.” She nodded, slipping her hand into his. “Halloween, when I finally told you how I felt.”

“You remember that?”

“I remember every damn detail of that night.” She replied with a grin, her eyes bright. “You combed back your hair but had one little strand out of place, it kept falling into your eyes on top of your glasses. When you kissed me I was almost convinced to hook up with you right then and there but I was afraid I’d ruin it and you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“Sophie.” His tone took on a serious edge and he slowed their pace a little so he could look her in the eye. “No matter what had happened that night, I knew I had to find a way to keep talking to you after that class. Hell, I’d have settled on going back to arguing every day if I meant I’d still get to see you.”

She blushed, grateful they made it to her house and even more grateful her roommates were back at the bar. “You’d still fight with me?”

He nodded, punching in his code to let them in. “I would.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know, about the stupid shit we always fought about.”

“Give me an example.” She stepped close, trapping him in between the kitchen counter and her body.

He held back an amused smile at the way she tried to take charge. “Like how you think you can get away with grinding on me at the bar with no consequences. Or how you leaned across the bar, with this top so loose and low cut that I can practically see your nipples right now, so the bartender would give you free drinks. Twice.”

She noticed his eyes darkened a little and she stood taller as a sly smirk spread across her face. “I wasn’t flirting.”

“Better not be.” He flipped positions with her quicker than she could process what was going on, lifting her up onto the counter and slotting himself in between her legs. “I don’t want anyone else even thinking they have a shot with you.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist instinctually. “I can’t help it if other people flirt.”

“You can not encourage them.” He kissed her hard, his hands immediately going to her waist. “Twirling your hair, doing that thing where you try to look all innocent with me - yes, exactly, that -”

She grinned, biting her lip as she blinked up at him. “I’m not doing anything, Cameron.”

“You absolutely are, Flint.” He growled, slipping his hands under her ass and lifting her off the counter. “You and your fucking bedroom eyes.”

“You do it more, you know.” She informed him with a smirk. “You smolder.”

“I smolder?”

“Yes. Your eyes just kind of...linger on me, then you meet my eyes, and then you lick your lips. Sometimes you’ll rub the back of your neck too, and I’m pretty sure that’s just so you can show off and flex your arms.”

“None of that is intentional.”

“Well it works.” She laughed, yelping as he started walking up the stairs. “I can handle myself -”

“You shouldn’t have to.” He cut her off with a kiss, biting her bottom lip. “Fucking tease.”

“I’m not teasing.” She insisted, breathless as he gripped her ass a little tighter, pressing her against the wall at the top of the stairs. “Fuck, Rafe.”

“Yeah?” He kissed her again, running the tip of his tongue along her lips. “Tell me what you want.”

“You taste like pizza crust.” She mumbled, laughing when he pulled back with a quizzical expression. “Sorry. Sorry. Got distracted.”

Rafe rolled his eyes, carefully setting her down. “Fine, I’ll go brush my teeth -”

“No!” She grabbed his wrist as he moved to walk down the hallway. “C’mere. Need you.”

A slow smirk spread across his cheeks as he stepped back in her space, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah? You need me, baby?”

She bit her lip, staring up at him with wide eyes as she nodded.

He slowly stepped forward, gently pushing her up against the wall as he slid one of his thighs in between hers, his chest touching hers with every rise and fall of their breath. “Tell me.”

“Tell you…?” She echoed, hands going to his waist.

“Tell me. Tell me what you want.”

Sophie blushed, breaking eye contact. “Rafe, I’m not gonna -”

“Fine, then I won’t touch you.” He replied, raising his hands as he backed away with a smug smile, but he barely got back before she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, yanking him down to her level so she could kiss him, hard.

“Stop, fuck, you’re teasing.”

“I’m -” He pulled back just enough to lift her up, tapping the back of her thighs to signal for her to wrap her legs around his waist. “Fuck. M’not. Just wanna hear you.”

“Oh, you’ll hear me.” She promised, sucking a spot against his neck. “You’ll hear me, baby. All night.”

He paused, breath catching. “I kinda have a work meeting at 8am tomorrow -”

Sophie laughed, pecking his lips. “You know damn well when I say all night I don’t mean it.”

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, got it. Okay, fuck, keep saying sexy shit to me.” He exhaled, nodding quickly as he strode into her room and kicked the door shut behind him. The door slammed especially hard and she winced when he dropped her to the bed.

“C’mon, Cameron, door’s gonna jam now.”

“Don’t care. I’ll figure it out. Take your shirt off.”

“Demanding.”

“You like it when I’m in control.” He pointed out, grinning when she let him tug off her crop top and unbutton her jeans. “Okay, c’mon, hips up.”

She obliged, lifting her hips and helped wiggle the denim down her legs. He pressed kisses down her thighs as he tugged them off, grinning.

“Fuck, you’re hot.”

“I know.”

He just laughed, pulling back to tug his shirt over his head. “I love your confidence.”

“I love you.” She replied, moving a little up the bed.

Rafe beamed ear to ear, fumbling with the button on his corduroy pants. “I’m never gonna get tired of that. Ever. Fuck. Will you?”

“Will I get tired of it?”

“No, my -” He gestured helplessly at his stuck button, yanking on his pants. “It’s these new pants you convinced me to buy, I look like I’m straight out of a fucking Ralph Lauren ad.”

“Oh, so nothing new.”

“Sophie -” he sighed, exasperated, but cut himself off quickly when her fingers teased under the waistband of his boxers. “No, keep going.”

“Magic word?” She tugged him forward, pushing his pants down to pool around his ankles until he kicked them aside.

“Suck me off?”

“Rafe.”

“Oh, sorry. Please suck me off?”

“Rafe Cameron.” She rolled her eyes, flicking his abs, and got up on her knees on the bed then pulled him down to kiss him, hard.

“Sophie Flint.” He grinned, running his fingers through her hair. “God, you’re so fucking pretty.”

“Keep that up, really does wonders for my ego.” She breathed out, moaning when he tugged on her hair a little. “Fuck. I need you.”

“But I wanted to -”

“Rafe.” She pleaded, looking up at him with doe eyes, and that was all he needed to reach into his nightstand and grab a condom.

“Okay, okay, hold on -”

“We don’t have to -”

“Yes, we have to, you nearly broke up with me last time we didn’t -”

“I did not -” Sophie huffed, exasperated. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“Fuck you? Baby, I’m gonna -” He grinned, making Sophie roll her eyes before he even opened his mouth again, and sang, horribly off key. “I’ll make love to you…like you want me to…”

“You’re so weird when you’re drunk.” She giggled, grabbing his hand to tug him onto the bed, shaking her head as he stood there, completely naked, singing way louder than he should have been for nearly 3am on a Sunday.

“You love it. Love me.” He insisted, letting his full weight fall on top of her as he pinned her to the bed.

Sophie grinned, grabbing his chin so she could kiss him properly. “I do.”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” He replied with a grin, kissing her hard and slow, swiping his tongue against her lips.

“Stooooppp.” She whined, blushing. “Get in me already.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He smirked, gripping her hips. “Tell me more.”

“I don’t know why you’re dragging this out when you could literally be fucking me right -"

“Making love -"

“Okay, Romeo, whatever you say -"

He laughed, clearly not concerned about time, and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Please fuck me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

taglist: @drewstarkey @lemur46 @jjmaybanksbaby @edgeofgr8 @quxxnxfhxll @obxtess @hoodpankow @vtgirl802 @outerbankies @messagesinthesky @nicolecarsley @svechnikolan @ilovejjmaybank @obxtess @abbyj1822 @oopsiedoopsie23 @g4bster @jjmaybankzz @freddymaybank @dontjinx-it @illbesafeforyou @moniamaybank @tovvaa @jailcalledlife @sunshineitsfine44 @randomficsandshit @outerbankspreferences @outerbanksbro @karsinner @kkmaybank @whoeveniskendall @lemur46 @outerbankies @proactivetypeofperson @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit

[kissesandcream]

a smol sibling.,

w/ xiao, kaeya, & venti

— • request from anon : being the trio’s younger sibling! (separately)

xiao p1 || kaeya p1 || gn ! sibling ! reader || headcanon format || 1.5k words

; masterlist.,

; a / n - i’ve done xiao and kaeya before, but i had some more ideas so i’m making some more! links above if you’d like to read the others <3

xiao .,

• the other hcs i made for him where general, but here anon specified a younger sibling, so i’ll do that!

• he’s that sibling who’ll pretend ur the most annoying thing on the planet but would do anything for u so much as you ask

• “xiao when u come back could i have some glaze lilies” “get them yourself im the vigilant yaksha not a flower picker🙄” mhm then why did u literally wipe out qingce village’s flower population hm xiao 🤨

• teaches u how to fight!! but he’s not teaching he’s “helping you discover things yourself so you can be a functional person”

• it takes way too much effort to get this man to admit he loves you but you know it as much as he does so it’s okay <3

• cloud retainer has so much dirt on him it’s crazy. if you ever need some blackmail material head over to hers. also you can find some embarassing pictures she’s got a heckton

• verr goldet takes care of u a lot too, xiao’s a great brother and all but he lacks in this department called self care

• idk if you’re mortal or adeptus or half adeptus but if you need to eat and do basic body functions he does not got u covered

• mans would try to raise u on almond tofu until verr goldet bought out a food pyramid and explained about these things called nutrients 

• he also doesn’t understand how important sleep is so,,, “xiao i’m gonna stay up” “yeah sure whatever” passing out two days later “y/N WHAT’S WRONG-”

• yeah verr goldet and the innkeeper guy give him a guide to basic survival talk and all through it he’s glaring at you like why did you never tell me you needed human things to live >:( 

• now that he knows you need sleep, he makes u sleep at 8 pm every night like a grandpa!! good luck trying to get him to stop!!

• are these getting too guardian-like and less sibling-like??? 😭 but that’s the vibes he gives yk!! ur over protective adeptus parent-brother who has no clue how u work but wants to try to understand a little

• in the game u can tell how much more open he gets wit the traveller as friendship levels progress, and if you’ve maxed it out he’d basically do anything for you and would want you to trouble him than yourself

• and he’ll probably be closer with you than he’ll ever be with traveller since you’re siblings and whatnot, so it would make sense that he looks out for you more than your typical older brother yk

• plays the flute for you!! if he hears u humming a tune under your breath he’ll find it and learn it to play for u 

• he may not fully understand how relationships work but he’s trying his best for u <3

 kaeya .,

• my other kaeya hcs were in relation to you being close / living with diluc, but these will be more general and central towards kaeya!

• kaeya fits literally every older brother trope that exists. the brother who’s always got ur back? you got it. the brother who keeps secrets you don’t know about from you? heck yeah. the annoying brother who makes u do his chores for him? maybe a little too much.

• pls he (lovingly) shoves all of his small tasks onto u it’s infuriating but you can’t even say no bc then he gets all dramatic 

• “y/n 😩 you’re abandonning your dear brother like this 😩 how could you 😩 i didn’t know you were so cruel 😩” sir shut up <3

• since he’s a people person everyone knows u very well too, heck all the senior citizens probably voted u as second best in law after him or smth idk man 

• hanging out with best boy bennett!! he canonically sees kaeya as an older brother too so y’all def go on little adventures together <3

• ur one of the only people who have ever looked under his eyepatch, diluc and crepus being the only other two

• sometimes he forgets to take it off when he goes to bed and it leaves a bruise bc it’s pretty tight, so he let’s you change it for him 

• “i can do this myself, you know” well he can but you both know he likes it better when you’re there

• does not allow your closet to be anything less than exquisite, you’ve got a bunch of scarfs like his whether you like it for not

• makes u buy his wine from diluc for him bc every time he goes to the tavern diluc raises the price tenfold just for him

• he’s that sibling who will rile you up on purpose just for the fun of it. i have a cousin who used to do that when he was younger and it was annoying but he still adores me sm so i don’t mind <3

• besides even if he does get on ur nerves amber’s got ur back- you can rant to her about him for hours on end and she’ll add with her experiences with kaeya’s bullying

• what are siblings if not for sibling rivalry, yes he picks on u constantly but he also picks u up when you’re feeling low <3

venti .,

• oh my gods he would be sO FUN

• the two of you are the bane of diluc’s existence, venti loops u into his winery pilfering plans a lot 

• venti pulls the archon card if the two of you get caught by him idk what excuse you’ve got but it better be good 😭

• no way the god of wind and song’s sibling doesn’t love music- even if you’re tone deaf, or hard of hearing, music is about the pleasure it brings and he’ll bring it to you

• you guys go wind gliding a lot of the time too!! y’all don’t even need gliders you’ve got the power of anemo 😎

• he’s that cool brother who’s only rule is that you do whatever you want to do, life is too short for regrets so live in the moment and be spontaneous!

• even though he’s older he seems much younger than you at heart 😭 will wine if you don’t do something for him it’s hilarious

• you’ve got other things to do and he’s just “but hanging out!!!” and ur like “but work!!!” 

• it’s very hard to be productive with him around, he will distract u with something as mundane as an apple- it’s not his fault tho bb just has a poor attention span 😭 

• he’s very clingy, if you’re together he’ll link your elbows like everyone did in sixth grade, and in turn u can kick him in the kneecaps when he does stupid things

• he’s the ceo of stupid things so u get to kick him a lot, it’s a mutal symbiotic relationship we love to see it <33

• my brain is dead and i can’t english rn but. his vibes yk he’s so fun to be around, he gives out surprisingly killer advice too

• i have this man’s teapot lines plastered on my wall bc they help me deal with stuff, so if you’re ever down you can always, always, always go to him and he’ll have the exact things to say

• if it’s words, he has them, if it’s silence you need he’ll lend you his shoulder; but there was never an instance he doesn’t leave you better than before

• you haven’t seen his archon side a lot, since he doesn’t show it all that much, but it’s so far from venti it’s a little scary; but in a sort of admiring way yk

• you guys visit zhongli sometimes, and it’s a free real estate for blackmail material bc of how terrified venti is of him

• zhongli is like that long lost uncle who visits once a year, and you’re his favorite child so he gives you candy and picks on venti for not taking good enough care of you

• “i’m their sibling not their parent” “you’re older have some responsibility >:(”

• if you ever get drunk he will hear about it and will come all the way from liyue to i will have order venti’s head, regardless of whether he was the cause of you being drunk or not

• that about wraps it up! im sure i could think of more but my brain is sorta dead rn so this will have to suffice 😭 i can’t think of a closing statement sO i hope u enjoyed!! bye bye!! <3

[enamoured-x]

Sweet Release | Part 3

Angel Reyes x Reader 

Summary: You give Angel a chance and things get serious.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Angst

Word count: 3.9k

Excerpt: “Angel was in your fucking veins, still coursing through you, still under your skin. He was in your damn blood stream, you were sure the ache of his love went all the way down to your bones and burrowed there.”

*gif is mine! 

a/n: okay so I lied, this is NOT the final part. Part 4 will be the final part!! Thanks for all the love on this fic! Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2

Part 3

Days passed by with no word from Angel and honestly, you were glad for it. You needed some space after what happened that night. You were torn between wanting him again and not wanting to put yourself in a position where he could hurt you. It was exhausting going back and forth with yourself, your heart and head fighting a battle. Needless to say that night only made things more confusing. 

You were just getting home from your shift at work. You were exhausted to say the least but you were glad for the distraction, at least for most of the day. Now you were home and your head was filled with Angel again. And as if the man could read your mind, which sometimes you thought he could, your phone rang. His caller ID lit up the screen and this time you didn’t think to not answer. After your intimate moment at the clubhouse and how everything with him was still unresolved and even more complicated, you decided to answer. 

“Hello?”

“Oh, wasn’t sure you were going to answer...” You bit your lip. You weren’t sure either but you were kind of glad you did. It was nice to hear his voice after a long shift at work even though you had wanted to keep your mind off him. No matter what everything always led back to him. 

“Debated on it.” Is all you said. It was quiet for a few moments and you were about to speak up again when he finally started talking.

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why?” You had the day off but you weren’t going to tell him that just yet until you knew what he was planning. 

“Can I see you? Maybe grab some lunch and just talk? We don’t have to talk about us if you don’t want to but I just…” He sighed into the phone, “I just miss you and I want to be your friend again. Can we do that, mami? Can we hang out?” You were surprised at his offer. Not wanting to talk about your relationship but instead wanting to build back a friendship. Your heart ached something fierce at the idea. You missed him too. You missed his friendship, his jokes, his easy going personality. You missed just being able to have a conversation with him. Of course it went deeper than that, you both knew that. You two were still in love with each other and he fucked up, but right now he was trying to put in effort. Trying to gain momentum with you again and you couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to a second chance, couldn’t say no to trying to fix your relationship. Angel was still a big part of who you were and that was never going to go away. You figured it was time to ease into giving him a chance. 

“Give me a time and place, Reyes.” You swore he was smiling as he let out a breath. You couldn’t help yourself, you were grinning like an idiot too. 

-

Your hands were clammy. Your heart was going to beat out of your chest, you were sure of it. You had just seen Angel a few days ago, yet here you were, a bundle of nerves waiting to see him again like it was the first time. It was a big deal though, saying yes to this. It meant you were leaving the door open for your relationship, giving it another chance to see if you could really make it work. So yeah, you were nervous, if you were being honest you were also terrified. Leaving that door open meant giving Angel the power to hurt you again, to push you away. You knew that, you knew it was a dangerous game yet there you were at the booth at some diner waiting for him. You didn’t think anything of it. You were a few minutes early, just wanting to arrive already and try to calm yourself down. But you were anything but calm and he was five minutes late. 

Your phone rang on the table and your heart dropped. You knew it was him. You knew what was about to happen. You knew he wasn’t coming, you didn’t even have to answer it, but you did anyways. 

“Mami…” You could hear it in his tone right away. Guilt. You can’t say you were surprised. But you were still hurt at what this meant. 

“You can’t make it.” You confirmed for him. You bit your lip to stop the tears in your eyes from falling. You should’ve known. You should’ve known nothing was going to change. It was always going to be the same, wasn’t it? Cancelled plans and embarrassing yourself out in public. You were sick of this game. 

“I’m so fucking sorry, querida. It’s some club shit with some people across–” You don’t let him finish. You didn’t care what it was. He wasn’t coming and that’s all you needed to know. 

“Okay.” You didn’t have anything to say, you didn’t know why you hadn’t hung up on him yet.

“Please. I’m sorry, can we do this tomorrow? I swear I’ll be there.” You shook your head. The waitress was making rounds and you got up before she could check on you. You didn’t need this to become more embarrassing than it already was. You made your way out of the diner. 

“No, I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place because once again I’m left looking stupid for holding out hope for you.” Before he can talk you speak up again, “bye, Angel,” you hung up the phone. 

It was true. You shouldn’t have said yes to this. Should've thought about how badly it could go. Should’ve thought about all those times he stood you up. But you were so clouded in the idea of being with him again. So caught up in the excitement of possibly starting anew with him and making things work. But you were a damn fool yet again. It was that stupid hope and excitement that had you hanging on to him for so long the first time that you didn’t see how undeserving you were of this kind of treatment. 

“Fucking Angel.” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back home raging like hell but also wishing you could just fucking cry. It's like your body wouldn’t let you, wouldn’t let you waste a single tear on Angel. You didn’t know if you were strong or just stupid for trying to hold it in subconsciously. Either way you knew the dam was going to break soon enough, Angel still held your heart in his hands.

-

You cuddled under the blankets on your couch as you watched some random movie you stumbled upon while channeling surfing. Your empty glass of wine sitting on the coffee table in front of you. You wanted to just unwind after yesterday’s stressful shift and Angel’s actions earlier this afternoon. You were tired of it all. Tired of dealing with this. You just wanted to move on from this back and forth. But you didn’t want to move on from Angel, that was the damn problem. Hell, you knew you didn’t want to move on when you refused to block his number despite the constant phone calls. And you knew you didn’t want to move on when you let him kiss you, when you offered yourself to him. 

You rubbed your temple at the headache beginning to form, it only got worse when you heard rumbling down the street and eventually heard it get closer. Angel. Or Ez but Ez would have told you he was coming over, Angel wouldn’t. The fucking gall of this man to be here after what he did today. You sat up just as the engine died. You took a deep breath, mind running with what you were going to say to him. Hell, what he was going to say to you. You were probably about to hear an ear load of apologies, honestly, it would be an improvement from the lack of concern when he used to cancel on you. The bar was so fucking low at this point. The knock broke you out of your head and you sighed, getting up and walking over to it. You looked down at your attire, sweats and an old t-shirt. You couldn’t be bothered about it, why would you care what you looked like in front of him? Especially now. 

You opened your door and just as suspected, Angel stood before you. His kutte on, underneath his black short sleeve button up. You loved that shirt on him, you couldn't help but think maybe he wore it for you. You pushed that thought away, it didn’t matter. You were pissed. Everything you felt earlier at the diner came rushing back as he stood before you. 

“Can I help you?” You asked, leaning against the door way, arms crossed. If earlier he sounded guilty, then he looked the part now too. Anguish in his eyes, at what he did to you today yet again. A fool, you reminded yourself. You were a fool. 

“I know I fucked up–”

“Which time are we talking about here?” You waited and he sighed. 

“Can I come in?” He gestured behind you. You were fighting with yourself. Don’t let him in, remember what happened when you were alone with him last time. Let him in, you guys need to actually talk this out this time. You chewed on your lip as he stared at you, waiting. You opened the door for him to walk in and closed it shut behind him. Officially trapping you inside with him. Officially ready to talk. You hoped. 

He took off his kutte and set it on the back of the couch and then took a seat, you sat on the other end of the couch, crossing your arms and waiting for him to talk. He looked displeased by the space between you two but only scooted a little closer. 

“I know it doesn’t mean much right now but I’m sorry about today. I wanted to be there so bad but something came up and it was shitty timing.” Shitty timing seemed to be the title of your whole relationship with Angel. No, that wasn’t fair. In the beginning it was good. 

“It’s always something, Angel.” You said, not knowing what he wanted from you right now. Did he want you to forgive him? You didn’t think you could do that. 

“I know, mami. I know. I want you though, fucking need you. I need you to know I want this to work, I want another chance to make it up to you and I know today was supposed to do that but I made it worse.” He did make it worse. 

“What do you want me to say? You’ve done nothing to prove to me that you’re going to do better. If anything, today proved just the opposite.” You stood up, energy coursing through. You couldn’t just sit still, not with all of this on your mind. He stood up too, stepping closer to you. You shook your head at him and he stopped. 

“Fuck, I know. I just…at the party...” He trailed his fingers through his hair, now looking distressed. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now. Did he think coming here to apologize was going to fix everything? That what he did at the party changed anything?

“Sex doesn’t fix everything, Angel.” You snapped at him. He shook his head, a bitter smile playing on his lips now at your words. 

“Really? Weren’t saying that when I had my tongue buried in your pussy.” His words knocked you off your game. How fucking dare he.

“I fucking told you it wasn’t going to change anything, Angel. It doesn’t. All it proves is that you can make me come, anyone can do that though.” You were angry and you were now treading dangerous waters here. 

“Watch yourself, mami. And don’t act like you weren’t fucking begging for it, fingers ain’t doing it for you, huh?” He asked, stepping closer to you. Fuck no. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. But his words turned you on just as much as they pissed you off. You were fighting fire with fire here. 

“Fuck you, Angel.” He laughed and grabbed your hips before you could back away again. You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he only pulled you closer. 

“Look at me.” As if your body and mind were trained to follow his command, you stopped your movements and looked up at him. Those damn eyes. You didn’t know what to feel in the moment. Your head was all over the place. You found yourself welcoming his warm touch and his chest pressed to yours. You also found yourself despising how easily you listened to him. How much you loved him. How much you hated what he was doing to you. 

“Let me make you feel good. Let me make it up to you.” He whispered. His words were enough to push him away from you and finally take a step back. 

“Do you ever fucking listening when I talk? I just told you, sex isn’t going to fix anything. It’s the same shit, Angel. You have to do a lot more to make it up to me than giving me a fucking orgasm.” You were pissed. What did he expect, to make you come again and hope for the best? Nothing was getting resolved here. 

“You’re right. Doesn’t mean you don’t want it though.” He steps forward again, “doesn’t mean you can’t use me to get off.” Now you were confused. Last time he said it was going to kill him, he’s fucking torturing himself now then. It was torturing you. 

“It’s not the same.” You muttered softly. He could make you feel things you’ve never felt before but in the end it didn’t matter because you didn’t have him.

“I know. I want more and I know it’s going to take time. But right now let me help you again.” He took your hips into his hands and you swallowed hard. You didn’t pull away this time. You wanted to cry. You were doing it again, letting yourself have him like this just to be left unsatisfied in the end even after an amazing orgasm. But you couldn’t help yourself. 

Angel was in your fucking veins, still coursing through you, still under your skin. He was in your damn blood stream, you were sure the ache of his love went all the way down to your bones and burrowed there. There was no getting him out so naturally your body gave in, you were made up of him anyways. An extension of him, of his soul. There was no escaping him. 

He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, breathing life back into you once more. Your body vibrated at his touch, at his tongue meeting yours. He tasted so fucking sweet, so damn addicting. He moaned into the kiss and then moved you to lay down on the couch as he gently got on top. Your breathing was heavy, at having him on top of you, his body heat encasing you, making you feel at home. 

“Gonna make you feel good with my fingers. I can’t give you–”

“I know.” Sex was off the table still, even for you. It didn’t mean you didn’t desperately want to feel him all over you–inside you. Because you did, you wanted it so fucking bad. But both of you knew you couldn’t give yourself to the other like that again, not until it was certain that it wouldn’t be the last time or it wouldn’t be out of lust and longing. It would be out of pure love and commitment next time that happened. Next time, that phrase was enough to make you realize that you did not want to end things with him. But you knew that, didn't you? That wasn’t the problem, the problem was that you needed reassurance before you could give yourself to him again, even if you were already his. 

“Lift your hips for me, baby.” You did as he said, he pulled down your sweats and panties just enough to get his fingers on you. You moaned at the first touch of him gliding his fingers through your folds. 

“So wet for me already.” He whispered into your ear. You grabbed onto the back of his neck and brought his lips to yours once more. His fingers started to work you over, lips never disconnecting from your own. He rubbed your clit with his thumb as he started to slide two fingers inside you. You whined into his mouth and he pulled away. 

“Feel good?” He asked gently, kissing at your cheek and jaw. You preened at the attention, at the softness and care he was taking with you. 

“Yes.” You breathed out, rolling your hips into his fingers. His warm breath on your neck made you giggle through your moans. He moved his head to look in your eyes and gave you a small smile. 

“Always so ticklish.” He pressed a kiss to your nose. Your heart ached with love, he was being too soft. Too gentle. Too loving. It was only too much because this was just a moment, passing in time, after it was gone there would be no sweet kisses and feather light touches. It hurt too much to think about so you pulled him down by the neck to kiss him again. His fingers filled you up nicely, no where near what you really wanted but much better than your own. He sped up his movements on your clit and started to curl his fingers inside you. You let out a gasp and he sucked at your neck, tongue and teeth meeting your skin. You were getting closer to the edge. It should be a crime how fucking good he was with his fingers alone, it should be a crime how fucking good it felt to have his lips on your neck. He licked at your pulse point and you were pretty sure he could feel your heartbeat on his tongue with the way it was beating. 

“Angel, I’m gonna come.” You cried out, trying to roll your hips faster and harder into his fingers, needing the momentum and the pressure. Needed him to take you over that cliff again. 

“Come around my fingers, mami. Let go for me.” He whispered and rubbed your clit harder, it was just what you needed to finally break free. Your orgasm crashed into you like a tidal wave, pulling you in all different directions. You were drowning again. You didn’t fucking care. You welcomed the wave as it pushed and pulled you against your will, you were not in control, your body was not yours in this moment. Angel’s fingers never let up, working you through your climax. It was never ending as your back arched. Your legs were shaking, clenching around his arm but he made no move to stop. Tears slid down your cheeks as he continued his ministrations. 

You’d never known anything like this before. Angel had the touch of a fucking god, able to bend you to his will and take you wherever he wanted. He wasn’t an angel, no, he was a fucking god. Your god, who worshipped you. Who got down on his knees for you. Who had that magic touch for you. He made you sing sweet fucking melodies of his name, your god. He proved just as much when you felt your second orgasm ripple through you. You cried, grabbing onto him, burying his head in your neck and pressing your face to his to steady yourself as you came for the second time. You were floating, free falling, fucking flying as pleasure coursed through your body. You couldn’t think. All you could do was sob into neck as you chanted his name like a damn prayer. 

He slowed his movements, trying to ease you back into this world before he stopped all together. You were panting, eyes closed as you tried to calm yourself down. Tears were still falling. You weren’t sure if it was from the pleasure or from the situation you were in again. 

You opened your eyes and Angel was there, looking down at you. He placed his lips against your cheeks, kissing away your tears. You squeezed him to you tighter, not wanting this moment to end. Not wanting to think about all the other stuff. But this was reality. He brought his fingers up to his lips, you could smell your arousal on them, could see it on them. He sucked them into his mouth all the while keeping your eye. Your breath hitched at the sight, you just had two orgasms and you were greedy for another one. He sucked your slick clean from his fingers before he pressed one more kiss to your lips and leaned back to sit up on the couch. You took a second to take a deep breath before you sat up and pulled your pants up. 

“I know that doesn’t change anything, baby. I know I have a lot of work to do. And I know I hurt you today again. But I swear on my life I’m going to do better, you deserve better. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you.” You closed your eyes at the confession, hoping you were done crying. His words were sincere, you knew they were. And yeah, he was right, another orgasm didn’t change much but right now you could feel how much he wanted to do right by you. It was in the tone of his voice, in the look in his eyes. In the way he touched you tonight. 

“I want that, Angel. I want that so bad but–”

“It’s going to take time. I know. But I can be patient, mami.” You let out a weak laugh at that. 

“You’re the most impatient person I’ve ever met.” You told him, no malice behind your words. Just a bit of teasing. He huffed out a laugh.

“I’d wait forever for you.” Angel was always smooth with his words, always the romantic. But you still felt your heart melt at his confession. 

“Let me make up for today by taking you out tomorrow. I swear to god I’ll be there, I’ll come pick you up myself.” You said you weren’t going to put yourself through this shit again. You said you didn’t want to look stupid again. So what the fuck changed tonight that had you believing he was going to follow through this time? It was just something you felt and you couldn’t shake the feeling. But your guard was still up, your heart still fragile. 

“Angel, tomorrow will be your last chance. If you don’t come, it’s over. For good.” You didn’t feel like it was much of an ultimatum as much as it was common sense. You could only give him so many chances before you had to draw the line somewhere. You were drawing it here.

He nodded his head eagerly, “I swear I’ll be here and I’ll be here everyday after that.”

You could only pray that was true because if he didn’t show tomorrow, you’d have to say goodbye to him forever. 

Taglist:  @starrynite7114 @xladymacbethx @fear-less-write-more @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @glimmerglittergirl @vicmackeybullshxt @miss-nori85 @blessedboo @kalimont83 @ctrlbitch @angelreyesgirl @langiinspirations @lilac-tea-time @melancholymelanin @-im-fantastic- @withmyteeth @isisafrofairy @elektriknachosss @krysiewithak @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @mental-bycatch @smurfflynn @blackmissfrizzle @arination99 @bucky-iss-bae @anactualcaseofthetruth​ @m3ntallygon3​ @montanaraed​ @mrsmarvelous1995 @bellisperennis0​ @akalei349​ @mylittlelonelyappreciation​ @angelreyesgirl89​ @justlikebreathing (if you want to be removed from the taglist for this fic pls let me know!)

[dootiexcupcake]

I Hear You

Pairings: Best friend!Hyunjin x POC!reader, Hyunjin x fem!reader (but its strictly platonic)

Genre: comfort, fluff, emotional support

Warnings: anger, mental health issues (more specifically Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder aka CPTSD), emotional flashback, disassociation, past childhood trauma and abuse, low self worth, mentions of an anxiety attack

Word count: 1K

A/N: I ain’t even gon sit here and lie to you, this is completely self indulgent 🥲. Been having a real poo poo week and I’m currently furious but IT’S MY CPTSD ANGER EPISODE AND I GET TO CHOOSE THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT KPOP BOY. Also this was strongly based off of kindergarten teacher Hyunjin from their mafia game in SKZ CODE ep. 06. also also this sucks lol ok bye ✌🏾

❖——————————————————————❖

It all just happened at once. Everything accumilating from the whole week finally caught up to you despite your best efforts. All the times you foolishly tried to push these negative feelings down and distract yourself as best as you could catapulted to the forefront. 

And now here you are. Laying face first on your bed feeling wave after wave of your searing anger wash over your frozen body. Too drained of energy to move.  And far too irritated to even try. From your foggy memory, all the pain and heartache you’ve experienced from childhood to present is playing in your mind in IMAX HD surround sound and you can’t turn it off. Which, in turn, leads to more fury.

Eventually, as most of your anger episodes go, the burning resentment coursing inside you starts to simmer down as the weight of your troubles takes a sad toll on you. You feel tears begin to well up as your hatred towards the people who wronged you turns into hot beads of disappointment in your eyes. You quickly dab them away, hating how vulnerable crying makes you feel and, will yourself to sit up on the bed.

Letting out a deep heavy sigh you look over to your bedside table and peer at the clock sitting on top of it.

4:47 pm

Lost in your dissociative daze, you completely lost track of time. You run a sleeved hand over your face as you slowly try to ground yourself back to reality and to the present.

‘Hyunjin should be off from work by now. I’m sure the kids have left the building so maybe if I call h-‘ a headache hits you full force like a truck before you could finish the thought. Like something in the back of your mind was denying you of the support of your friend. ‘Don’t bother him with your crap!’ This nagging voice, reminiscent of your mother, suddenly barks at you. ’No one in this world cares about you or your problems! He doesn’t care about you!’ You feel your nose twitch in irritation at the all to familiar mantra your disgusting “mother” would brainwash younger you into believing. You thought all the years of no contact would finally rid you of the abusive hold she had on you, but alas. Sucking in a deep breath, you begrudgingly listen to the voice and try to use your self taught grounding techniques.

5 things I can see

4 things I can hear

3 things

3 thingsI

“I can’t” you whispered weakly, voice trembling as you try to compose yourself and avoid the impending anxiety attack coming up.

You breath, and breath, and breath some more until you’re able to stop the whirl wind in your mind and keep your heart rate at a normal pace. You pick up your phone that’s laying on the nightstand and tap on the smiling picture of Hyunjin in your contacts.

Everything in you is telling you to stop. Don’t waste his time with your stupid problems. The bitterness inside you hoping he doesn’t pick up to prove that every lie your mother and father said to you was true and you were just an ungrateful brat all along. But a small part of you desperately wanted to hear-

“Hello?” The soft voice on the other line scared you from your thoughts. You gulped and cleared your throat before responding, “h-h-hey Hyunjin.” Nervousness creeping up inside you as you spoke to your long time friend. 

“Hey y/nnie!” Hyunjin typical sing-song voice rang through the phone, easing your former anxieties. “How are you? You don’t sounds so good, baby.” You could hear the pout on his lips at the last portion of his sentence. “Yeah I’m just..tired I guess.” You gave a weak chuckle at the end and let out a small sigh.

“What’s going on? I’m here for you, y/n.”

You choke back a sob at the loving reassurance. Still very not used to the unconditional love and support you were shown by your group of friends. “It’s just..everything has been..I-” you puff out a frustrated sigh at your lack of eloquency. Feeling the prior anger bubble up in you at your sudden loss of vocabulary. “I’m sorry Hyunjin, I’m so stupid! I’m just trying so hard to get myself together and tell you what’s wrong but I-it’s like I can’t even speak anymore! I’m just..” You let out another defeated sigh.

“Hey y/n, don’t apologize! It’s ok, everything is ok. I’m listening to you. I hear you.”

‘I hear you’ ‘I hear you’

His words swirl around in your head like a carousel. The sweet and genuine tone of his voice renders you to tears.

And you cry.

You just cry.

Years and years of physical and psychological torment somehow eased by 3 words.

_________________

You’re not sure how much time has passed but, you finally stopped crying.

“Ugh, Jinnie im sorry for just being a sobbing mess for all of this.” 

“Heeeey,” Hyunjin playfully warns. “How many times do I have to tell you young lady!” You let out a light laugh and respond, “I know I know, don’t apologize!”

“Exactly! And I can hear that smile too! I’m glad you’re coming back down to earth y/nnie.” His voice softens as continues to talk with you.

You laugh at some silly joke Hyunjin makes and lay down on your bed and get into a comfy position, yawning in the process. Hyunjin hums on the other side of the phone, “Sounds like someone is getting sleepy ~” Hyunjin says in his squeaky kindergarten teacher voice.

“Ugh, Hyunjin I’m not a toddler.” You mumble to the man on the phone. “Heh, I know. But still! You should take a nap, and don’t forget to take something for your headache! Would hate for you to hurt that pretty little head of yours.” He teases. “Hyunjin, I’m gonna hang up the phone.”

“Wait wait wait, before you go!” He suddenly urges, causing you to furrow your brow in confusion at his shift in tone. “Yeah?” You ask.

“I love youuu!!”

❖——————————————————————❖

Skz m.list

Main m.list

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Regeneration Potion (Plat!C!Tommyinnit x Witch!F!Reader)

TW: Mentions of Dream's actions during Tommy's exile INCLUDING his un alive moment. YES I KNOW TUBBO CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND. SHUSH. PLOT.

Reader wears a dress most of the time. Also Tommy is around 17 (I forgot his canon age sorry)

I might make this a series!

☆Tommy P.O.V☆

His hotel was taken over.. His house was practically empty.. He was stared at everywhere he went.. His best friend replaced him instantly without much of a second thought.. His brother was dead, his other brother probably wanted to spill his guts for switching sides... He had... Nothing...

He had died for God's sake! Sure, he didn't expect people to immediately bawl their eyes out at the news, but he didn't expect to be brushed off so damn quick! He didn't expect the person he betrayed his brother for to replace him so quickly! He didn't... he... Was... Tubbo really his friend? He exiled him without checking up on him... He... He moved on so.. quick..

Standing over the giant crater once known as L'manberg, now covered with a thick sheet of glass... He wrapped his arms around himself and gave a sigh. In the distance, he could see Ranboo and Tubbo running around, most likely gathering materials for Sam Nook...

Gritting his teeth tightly, he felt a familiar burning behind his eyes before he stood up from a pile of dirt he claimed as a temporary chair. It took all of his power not to scream in emotional agony as he stormed away from the sight of his old best friend with someone else who he claimed as his new bestfriend.

Don't turn back...

With a few iron ingots and a low durability netherite sword to his name, Tommy walked as quickly as he could away from the memories. The sacrifices. The pain. The lonely feeling...

He had easily walked for a few hours, trying his hardest to find an area completely secluded from everything and everyone.

If they moved on once... They can move on twice..

He wanted to hold on.. He wanted to keep every little memory and object that he found comforting... But now... Everything he looked at caused a sharp pain to jolt through his heart...

He glanced up at the biome around him, only to frown slightly. It was a Dark Forest... But there was many problems..

He knew there were some large mushrooms, but he had never seen massive flowers bigger than a mansion! Everything... Felt weird... Somethings were incredibly varied in sizes! He spun around in awe as he stared at the different sized flowers and mushrooms scattered around him. Then... fear struck into his heart again...

Wilbur... He told him a story about a forest far to the north of L'manberg... Trees bigger than the eye could see, mushrooms taller than a house or smaller than a fingernail, flowers being anywhere from a millimeter tall to miles high into the air, all because of the land was protected by a Witch.

In the story, Wilbur said that only the lost and lonely would find that forest out of desperation to find salvation...

The Forest of the Forgotten...

His lips parted in surprise and he spun around to exit the land, in fear of upsetting the witch... Only to find a silhouette standing against the light a few inches away from him.

A not so manly scream tore from his throat and he hurriedly threw himself backwards, raising his arms above his head as he landed on the ground, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He begged, tears spilling from his eyes as he scrambled backwards until he hit a tree. Tommy didn't even hear the foot steps wandering closer until a purple light rose into view.

He took a few gasps for air as he slowly lowered his hands. 'Dream's in prison. He's not here. He's not gonna hurt you again..' He carefully rose his gaze, only to see...

A young woman... She looked... Around his age!

She was kneeling on the ground a few feet away from him, just... Watching him. A black pointy hat was balanced on her (h/l) (h/c) hair that was nicely framing her (s/t) face. Her eyes were analyzing his every movement as they surged with purple flames... But they weren't threatening or violent... They were curious but calm..

He stared at her for a solid few seconds before realizing that the soft purple glow was coming from a ball of coloured fire in her hand. Mesmerized by the energy, Tommy hardly noticed when a dull pink glow appeared in his vision, only when the woman made effort to talk, did he notice.

"I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." She smiled softly, and moved her hand that held the pink glow closer to him. It... Was a Regeneration Potion. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

Tommy couldn't hold back a frown as he rubbed his eyes free of tears. He forgot that his injuries from Dream hadn't healed yet... And probably wouldn't be healed for a long time. "Thanks... I guess.." He grumbled in an attempt to save whatever dignity he had left.

While he was considered naive, he wasn't stupid. He knew not to trust strangers immediately, so he uncorked the bottle and smelt it as he analyzed the colour to make sure it was really regeneration potion. At first, he wasn't going to drink it, but he quickly remembered that it wasn't like he had anything to lose, so he took a small sip.

It was dangerously sweet, much sweeter than Phil or Techno's potions, but it definitely wasn't awful and it for certain wasn't poison. He rolled his shoulders as he continued to sip at the potion while she stood up.

Dusting her black robe and dark (f/c) dress of any dirt, despite them being already dirty and a bit tattered, the (h/c) woman stood up and continued to clean the dirt off. "It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Did this crazy woman not know the meaning of stranger danger?

☆Your P.O.V☆

No matter how much you threw yourself into your studies, the looming loneliness never seemed to leave you..

Keeping to your daily routine, you begrudgingly lifted yourself out of bed and sat down at your vanity, glaring at your reflection that bared knotted hair and sleepy (e/c) eyes. Your non dominant hand stretched out towards your closet and watched as your irises lit up a bright surging purple, activating your magic. Your dominant hand began to run a brush through your hair while your other hand controlled the magic that was currently being used to sort through the row of clothes in your closet. Once you found an outfit that you deemed adequate, you made a quick gesture with your hand that caused the clothing to float onto your bed.

It didn't take very long to get ready, I mean, come on, you were in a large forest miles away from the closest village! It's not like you were going to be seeing anyone for a few more centuries.

Your house was cozy and rather small, but it housed you and your black cat Salem comfortably. It was nice and quiet where you lived.. Albeit dark and lonely..

The trees often covered the sun and prevented you from knowing what time it was, but you had stopped caring about the date long ago. It never mattered to you anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. Quit meowing. You act like you haven't eaten in a year." You rolled your eyes at the dramatic feline as you prepared your own breakfast first. Salem kept meowing loudly, standing beside her food bowl and swatting it every so often until you used your magic to toss a fish to her. "You done with your whining now? Big baby."

You rolled your eyes as you sat down with your bowl and quickly ate the fruits you had sliced up. Downside to living here, you primarily survived off of fruits and berries because animals rarely wandered into the forest, and if they did, well you kept them for their resources like milk or eggs or wool.

With a small sigh, you got up and washed your bowl, via magic so you didn't have to feel the burning sensation of the water on your skin, as you contemplated what you were going to do today.

Eventually you decided on going to walk through the forest to find more animals or scavenge for more fruits. Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you double checked that it was stocked up with healing and regeneration potions just in case, only to throw your shoes on. Waving good bye to your lazy annoying cat, that you still love regardless, you shut the door and walked down the path.

The silence was normal... But god it was deafening when something stepped on a branch or when one of your chickens decided to give a particularly loud squawk, but it did indeed heighten your senses.

Giving a sigh, you rose your hand and a purple pulse flew from your hand then trailed down your body and travelled through the forest. Your magic didn't detect anything out of the ordinary except for once thing near the entrance.

"Ah.. God.. Please don't be a zombie.. I'm not a fighter.." You whispered under your breath before setting off towards the untouched and overgrown entrance of the forest.

Arriving to the main path, you looked over a little bit to see a tall blond male spinning around in absolute awe of the forest.

He then took a sharp breath and spun around, almost immediately coming face to face with you. The loudest scream you had ever heard left the boy and he quickly stumbled backwards until he fell to the ground and hit a tree, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He practically cried apologies while he curled into a wall.

'What kind of reaction was that?!' You thought curiously as you kneeled down a few feet in front of him. Assuming that the dark had freaked him out, you summoned a ball of fire and held it out, using the time to study the strange boy. His dirty shirt was ripped and torn in several places, his skin was decorated with mud, soot, cuts, bruises and scars and his cheeks were damp with tears. His breath was turning into gasps as his thin frame shook violently.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

He didn't seem to hear as he began murmuring quietly to himself, rocking back and forth a small bit to calm himself down. After a few moments, he lowered his arms and stared blankly at the magic in your palm.

Seeing the injuries on his pale skin, you dug into your bag and pulled out a glowing pink potion before holding it out to him. He didn't seem to notice it until you cleared your throat. "I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." You smiled as politely as possible, and moved your hand that held the potion closer to him. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

The male grumbled a bit under his breath but looked genuinely thankful as he took a small sip of the potion. After deeming it wasn't poisoned, he began to take larger drinks of it.

"It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Honestly... The face he made amused you quite a bit...

[petri808]

Quarantine memories fic hoarding craze for @thenaluarchive

— thank you to @phoenix-before-the-flame for helping jump start this fic 💜

It was Natsu Dragneel’s absolute favorite time of the day. 1 pm for him, and 8 am for Lucy, his… well, right now they were just online friends separated by distance and priorities. But judging by how he talked about her to friends, you’d never know it. They’d met three years ago on Twitch through a random chat stream about an anime series, and he continued following Lucy on her writing streams. Three years ago, she was a sophomore in college while he was in his senior year. Lucy later moved on to a graduate program, but they stayed in touch, growing close. To Natsu, she wasn’t just some girl online but a real friend he cared very much about. His friends called Lucy his online girlfriend. Pfft. He wished he could call her that.

Roughly two thousand miles away, Lucy Heartfilia was hating life. Her curtains were drawn, and a blanket was pulled over her head to drown out the light. The air conditioner was down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit, working against the low-grade fever and pounding migraine born yesterday. Migraines… the bane of her otherwise healthy existence. It was her fault after all, the temptation of a chocolate dessert knowing full well it was one of her triggers brought on said migraine and all she could do was bear it.

Why?

“Stupid hoarders!” Lucy groaned to herself.

As if dealing with a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, people’s selfish reactions to it were worse. A government agency had claimed that acetaminophen products could help with the virus’s symptoms, so what did people do? Panic buying anything and everything they could find containing that drug! The problem for people like Lucy, is the one over the counter medication that helped with her migraines was Excedrine… an acetaminophen product! And she’d just. run. out.

Lucy’s phone rang and she knew exactly who it could be based on the time. So, she clicked the answer button without opening her eyes.

“Hey, Natsu,” she groaned out.

“Morning Lucy! Oh geez, you sound like a frog.”

“Thanks,” she retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got a migraine.”

“Ouch.” Natsu genuinely flinched. He rarely got headaches, but this wasn’t the first time he’d talked to Lucy when she was going through one, so he knew what she was going through. “The meds aren’t helping?”

Lucy sighed. “I ran out. And did you see the news about all the hoarding? Every store here is bought out. It… sucks.”

“I could check around here and send you any I find,” he offered.

“Aww, that’s sweet of you Natsu, but I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“Pfft. Nonsense. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Thanks, Natsu. I appreciate it.” Lucy smiled through the pain. There’s a good reason her feelings for the man had grown over the years. His sweet and caring, yet fun and goofy, positive personality was an easy drug to get hooked to.

“Anyway, I gotta get back to work.” Natsu whined. “Good morning again, stay hydrated, and I’ll check on you again when I’m finished for the day, okay Lucy? Get some rest.”

“Have a good day at work Natsu.”

“Will now, after hearing your voice. Talk to you later Luce.”

She giggled softly. “Bye, Natsu.”

Lucy shifted under her blanket as she clicked off the phone to lie on her back. His sexy voice did wonders for her mood despite the pain still ravaging it. Now all she had to do was drag herself out of bed to eat something and drink water. She never had an appetite when she got these migraines, but it was a necessary fuel to fight it. All Lucy had left were extra strength Tylenol, so she could only hope it would at least take the edge off until the migraine ran its course.

Like so many others, this pandemic had really taken a toll on Lucy’s psyche. It’s not as if she went out a lot before it took hold, but just the fact it made going out dangerous brought different emotions to the situation. School had moved online which sucked all its own, she missed casually hanging out with friends on campus, and simply longed for the freedom of leaving her apartment as she pleased. But she understood the precautions of a quarantine. Frankly, she agreed with the city’s efforts to keep them as safe as possible no matter how many grumbled about it. Did it make it easier? No. But it was a necessary evil.

They weren’t completely trapped, could shop for necessities, visit family or friends, just encouraged to limit such gatherings as a safety precaution. If you went out, wear a mask, and just don’t stand too close to other people. Well, unless Lucy knew the person, why would she want strangers in her personal bubble anyway? And the mask thing? Have you ever been out shopping, and someone just sneezes without covering their mouth? Yeah— seriously, would it kill people to use one?! Why were people so selfish during times like this? Not everyone, but too many. Just like with all the hoarding frenzies that swept through cities, it was frustrating and— “Ugh…” being in a pain-driven bad mood was sure bringing her down today.

But despite all the external frustrations, the feelings of isolation from being in a quarantine for months were probably the most mentally exhausting part. It was lonely being so far away from home during a pandemic. Lucy’s been in college for five years and while she’s made friends in the new city, she was starting to crave comfort instead of an empty apartment. Her life online was one of the few things that made her happy, like Natsu’s daily calls, and kept her sane.

Natsu… her face heated up every time she thought about the man. They didn’t have a lot of hobbies in common, but he was always so supportive and made her laugh like no other could. Where they lacked in commonality, was made up in ease of conversation. It hadn’t taken very long for their online chats to feel more like an old friend and less like a faceless stranger. Over the years they’d talked about meeting in person one day after she finished school. It also helped that he was from a city not too far from where she came from, so if she chose to move back it would be convenient. But she also loved the new city she called home. Oh well, Lucy sighed. It was a decision still a couple of years away to make.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to find her migraine had finally given up. She could still feel the little bastard hiding, simmering somewhere ready to strike, but if it stayed mellow, it was something she could tolerate. Throughout the day, Lucy wasted no time in catching up on the homework she couldn’t finish the day before and making sure to stay hydrated with food in her stomach.

Lucy’s phone rang around 2pm.

“Hi Natsu, how was work?”

“Same ole, same ole,” he chuckled. “And how are you? Still feeling, okay?”

“Yeah, it hasn’t come back.”

“That’s great!”

Lucy could hear a lot of background noise, so she asked about it. “Oh, you’re not home yet?”

“Nah, and the commuters are being extra noisy today,” he responded benignly. “Anyway, tonight I won’t have time to talk cause I got a project due for work I need to finish.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Yeah, I’m still catching up from yesterday too and Levy’s dropping by for dinner.”

They chat for a few minutes about their day as Natsu waited for transportation. Lucy knew he used the subway to and from work, but today it sounded a little different, noisier and she swore there were engines instead of the normal train sounds. Maybe it was static. Finally, Lucy caught the muffled words now boarding.

“Shucks, time for me to go,” Natsu cut through. “Sweet dreams Lucy! I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Natsu!”

Lucy spent the afternoon relaxing online, chatting with friends and gaming. Her friend Levy McGarden later dropped by with take-out food for dinner and the two women caught up on random topics while movies droned on the television. They were both in grad school, so during the semester there wasn’t a lot of time to hang out, but they made do. Lucy was also doing a paid internship at a local magazine 4 days out of the week as part of her master’s program. She really enjoyed working there under one of the senior editors. He made it a fun learning experience.

Life was almost perfect except for the background isolation of the pandemic. Lucy was glad she wasn’t one of the individuals affected by jobs cuts, but it still got under her skin to feel trapped in a way. It was nice with her friend over... ‘Maybe I should see if Levy wants to become roommates?’ She wondered as she drifted off to sleep. The apartment would sure feel a lot less empty.

A knock at the door roused Lucy from her sleep. She blinked and yawned, looking at the alarm clock and that said 9 am the next morning. ‘Natsu didn’t call,’ she thought how odd. Maybe he slept in after working late.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed, throwing on a robe to answer the front door. “Gimme a sec,” she called out as she neared it.

“UPS delivery, ma’am.” The male voice responded.

‘UPS?’ Lucy grew confused. She didn’t remember ordering anything through them, but maybe she’d forgotten?

She peaked out of the peep hole, but all she could see was the box being held up. Okay a little weird, but some of the delivery people did that to show they were legitimate service people. Lucy slowly opened the door but kept the chain lock on while peering through the gap. But what she saw next brought on instant tears.

“H-How?” Her voice stammered out as her fingers quickly undid the lock and opened the door wide.

There Natsu stood holding a small brown box, dressed in a uniform of sorts, with a mask hanging under his chin, and wearing a goofy grin.

Lucy snorted a laugh as her eyes crinkled in happiness. “Is that a Halloween costume?”

“Yeah,” his smile widened, and hand scratched his head. “Surprise delivery,” Natsu held out the box, “for Lucy Heartfilia.”

“What is it?” She asked as she took it from him.

“Oh, I um found you Excedrine.”

Lucy opened the box to find 4 bottles. “You certainly did,” she laughed. “But why’d you bring it yourself?”

“It was quicker than the mail and… I hoped…” Natsu’s mannerism grew sheepish and tentative, “it was about time we finally met in person?”

Her face softened with a smile. “It truly is.” Lucy gestured into the apartment. “Please, make yourself at home.”

[fictional-crushes-unite]

Hey! Can you do a Harry Potter one? I'm not picky but maybe one where he's struggling with the Triwizard Tournament? Thank you!

Yep!

Harry Potter x my Gryffindor OC {Cassia}

Fluffy! Except Hermione ended up kinda mean in this one so...

"Harry? Are you listening?" Hermione's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Hmm? What were you saying?" he asked. She rolled her eyes. "I said, if you want to survive the first task, you need to figure out how to beat it. What did Hagrid say they were?" she asked. Harry sighed. "Dragons." he mumbled. "And do you know how to beat dragons?" she asked. "No." he said sadly. Hermione shook her head. "Insanity," she murmured, walking away."I'll go find something we can use. Don't do anything stupid." she called back. He groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. "Are you okay?" a voice asked. He instantly sat up straighter. "Yep, totally fine." he said, smiling. Cassia stared at him in disbelief. "No, you're not." she said, crossing her arms and sitting down beside him. "It can't be easy, can it? The Tournament, I mean." she said softly. Harry nodded. "I can see why there was an age limit in the first place." he scoffed. Cassia laughed, and the sound brought a smile to his face. "There." she said proudly. "What?" Harry asked, confused. "You're smiling again." she grinned. He stared at her, amazed. "Yeah." he stood up and held out a hand. "Walk with me?" 

"Okay, okay, let me see if I've got it." she giggled, sitting beside him on the hill. She waved her wand and the cup turned a vibrant blue. "Oops. That's not a teakettle." she sighed, collapsing back onto the grass. Harry chuckled. "It was a good effort." he said cautiously. Cassia scoffed "Did we see the same thing? I'm rubbish at magic." she complained. "Try one more time?" he pleaded. "Fiiine." she agreed. Pointing her wand at the cup, she attempted the spell. Instead the cup started wiggling around and barking like a dog. The two of them stared at  it before bursting into laughter. "This is a new low in the history of magic," She wheezed. "Harry, what are you doing out here?" Hermione's voice asked, cutting off his response. "Oh, Hermione, hi. You've met Cassia, right?" he said, motioning to her. Hermione glared. "If you want to survive the task, maybe you should stop flirting around and start focusing." she said sharply. Harry frowned. It wasn't like Hermione to be so rude. "Just because I-" he started, but Cassia quickly stood up. "It's okay, Harry, you go on. It was nice talking to you." she smiled. "Bye guys." she said kindly, before walking off.  Harry turned to his friend. "What's wrong? Why'd you act like that?" he asked, confused. She brushed off his questions. "Come on, you need to study." she said briskly, pulling him along. 

He walked through the corridors, his invisibility cloak hiding him from view. The empty halls were as quiet as a tomb, but when he reached the library, he heard the sounds of someone moving around the room. When he walked in, he saw Cassia quietly going through the bookshelves. He pulled down the hood. "What are you doing?" he asked, causing Cassia to stifle a shriek of horror. "Don't do that!" she hissed, trying to calm her heartbeat. "Sorry, sorry." he whispered guiltily. "But why are you here in the middle of the night?" She scoffed, playfully annoyed. "Transfiguration test tomorrow, and I'm nowhere near ready. So, the result is all night study session." Footsteps raced down the hallway, matched by small cat footsteps. "Filch." he whispered, and Cassia quickly turned down her lantern. "He's gonna see me!" she whispered frantically. Harry shook his head. "No he won't." he said quietly, and pulled her under the cloak with him. Just in time, as Filch burst through the doors, holding a lantern aloft. "Who's there?" he rasped, as Miss Norris slinked along the ground. It was more difficult to move quickly when there was two pairs of feet instead of one, so Harry easily lifted her smaller form up in his arms. She gripped his shoulders, terrified of falling. The two of them carefully made their way back to the Gryffindor dormitory, and once they were in the common room, Harry gently put her down.

Cassia exhaled deeply. "Thank you. Thank youThankyouThankyou." she said. Harry grinned. "No problem. You should get some sleep, though." he said, concerned. She shrugged sadly. "I can't, Harry. The test..." she trailed off, exhausted. "I'll help you during breakfast tomorrow, okay?" he asked. Cassia nodded happily. "Thanks, Harry. See you tomorrow." 

[raindropmage]

So uh... it's that time of the decade where I go through my "Keep Reading" posts where I was an absolute depressing sack of shit.

Update:

I graduated university with a Bachelor's of Science in Computer Science. A lot of family came to see me (including my best friend who flew down from Kansas in secret to surprise me).

I had written this past January about getting two internship interviews. I didn't get either one. The local internship was nice enough to let me know but I was pretty sure I wouldn't get it when they told me they would only be hiring one person. The second internship, however, I was 100% confident in. They didn't even let me know that I didn't get it, I found out when the internship started because uh... I would've been there if I got the job. Probably one of the biggest letdowns of the year. Nevertheless, I kept applying for everything I could find. Had maybe 3 or 4 programming-related interviews that I didn't get (suprise!).

My weight is at 206. There was a point where I was at my highest weight of 216. I had started a low-calorie diet back in August of 2022 and got down to 199. I was doing so well and then....

I got a new job. Unfortunately, not related to Computer Science but as an admin with Progressive that Emily gave me a referral for! They feed us at least twice a week and I get paid $19 an hour and being totally drained from learning a shit-ton, I ate out. Alot. Back to being over 206 but we'll get back down!

Even though I said that I got a new job, I'm still employed with HEB. My lead said that he would schedule me on weekends but he's only been scheduling me one day a week. Was salty at first but I'm actually blessed that he did that.

So with alot of new stuff happening, I looked back at a few posts from the past. I have new feelings about them that I feel like is worth addressing.

Moving on from work family is normal. I remember when leaving Popeyes, I felt like I was leaving behind a family. I would visit very often to say hi and would feel loved when they would greet me back with the same energy. I remember applying back and trying to work both at HEB and Popeyes. I made a post about regretting it wholeheartedly because of how it fucked with my self-esteem. The only thing worth it was that it motivated me to get together with my then-boyfriend, now-fiance. Other than that, I'm no longer connected with my past co-workers save for one or two. No ill feelings towards them but it was just time to move on. I should feel the same about HEB but I've grown so close to a few of them that I'm not quite ready to say good-bye for good. HEB is a whole different ball-game than Popeyes. You don't just leave behind a small crew, you leave behind people from all different departments. I wouldn't be leaving a family, I would be leaving a community. I'm slowly working up the courage to break free and accept that as close as I've grown with them, we probably won't hang out outside of work. ^^;

I see Ram from time-to-time. Maybe three or four times a year. I feel as if I tried too hard to be close with him. We definitely had a father-daughter relationship but not seeing each other as often definitely watered that relationship down. I would still often send him Happy Birthday texts but that's it. I saw a post from his daughter that he's going through back surgery. Might throw in a donation in the GoF*ndMe and wish him well. I do still miss him, but not enough to make an effort to see him.

Fuck Joel. Fuck Mariah. I have dreams about them sometimes where we reconcile but I've officially moved on. Joel was nice and such a good friend back then but I should've left him alone after he was deployed in the army and shouldn't have contacted his wife to ask for HER PERMISSION to be friends with a grown-ass man. Good riddance to the both of them.

I don't know a single person who still works at Popeyes except Ram (who works a good 20 miles away) so I have absolutely no ties with them anymore.

I was a stupid 20 year old who was attention-starved. A guy 7 years older showed interest in me for a good week and I was desperate to keep our interactions going. I should've gotten the hint and stopped messaging him. We sorta stayed friends afterwards but he's no longer active on Facebook and seems like he dropped off the internet.

The people who've been the nicest to me are the friends I cherish the most. Funny enough, when COVID hit, one of my group of friends made a discord so that we could still hang out and social distance and that was the most I've ever talked to them. They still come into town and ask if I'm down to hang and even though I'm not able to 70% of the time, I have the best time with them!

I originally planned on writing down more but I think thinking about all this has drained my brain so I'll probably come back to this at a later time. I need to end this nostalgia episode before it spirals too deep.

[dayseternal-blog]

Please, can you make a draft from ohnej's art of day 7? Please? 🥺 Pleeeeeeeease?????

Hehe anon knew that @ohnej‘s stuff is right up my ally 😂

Anon is talking about this art!

Ohnej has also been drawing the Clan Leader!Hinata AU here, here, and here!!!!

It’s always given me RTN!Hinata vibes with the more angular features and tight-fitting dresses.  I’ve wanted to write a fic for her stuff, but I’ve never made RTN!Hinata before, so I was also nervous about that...

Hmm...

Here’s something small!

Clan Leader!Hinata AU

She can still feel the aggravation piercing white-hot through her veins as they leave the Hokage’s office.

Not even five minutes into their arrival, he turned his chair around to face the window.  (Because in the end, she knows.  He doesn’t really have the guts to face her.)

Still, all went according to their plan.  She knew they got him once that facade, his professionalism, cracked, and he turned around and stood.  Always, always trying to use his ridiculous height to his advantage.  (As if his stature is enough to make her weak?)

Her eyes can see though all of it, all of him, in just a single glance.  He’s always chasing after ideals, after things he doesn’t and can’t have, and now.  Now it sickens her.  How he tries to use others in the name of cooperation and an optimistic future.

So he raises the property tax, knowing, knowing it will affect her clan the most.  Does her family not already serve the village with their very flesh and blood?  Are they not the treasured secret of Konoha?  The most desired, loyal allied clan of any hidden village?

Everyone else sees him as such an honest, hardworking man.  Sincere and transparent to the bone.

But she knows the truth.

Hanabi giggles, and they both don’t fail to notice how men’s eyes follow them through the village.  “Oh Nee-sama, if looks could kill, you’d have our Nanadaime begging for his life.”

“If only,” she huffs.  “His ego would never allow it.  I’m sure he’d fall over dead before admitting that he’s dying.”

Her younger sister outright laughs, her cackle high like bells.  “And they all say ‘he’s selfless’.  You’re the only one who hates him so.”

*You know I can’t stand men like him.  Saying one thing when he wants or means something else.”

“Hmm?  You mean he didn’t really mean to raise our taxes?”

“Of course not.  I told you before that he’s just trying to waste our time.”

Hanabi raises one angled brow high.  “What does he really want, then?”

She rolls her eyes, and a memory of his gaze trailing down the deep plunge of her neckline flashes through her memory.  “Heaven knows.”

But she knows the truth.

*

Not even half a year later, and they’re back again.  Negotiating tax policy again.

His brow furrows when they breeze in, his features intentionally schooled.  Each slight shift of his eyes, however unnoticeable to an untrained observer, but her eyes never miss a thing.

“What is the meaning of this?” Hanabi digs in.  “We told you we won’t stand for this!  Our clan can’t help the fact that we settled here earlier than everyone else.  You said you would raise hotel and other visitor accommodation taxes!”

He sighs, gaze averting, as if he really doesn’t have the time to be bothered by their complaints.  “And as I’ve said before, tax rates are not entirely up to me.  The daimyo demands more funds for infrastructure efforts across the nation.  We all need to do our part as the wealthiest village.”

Hinata steps forward.

His gaze, hardening, tracks back to her, and it’s this stubborn expression of his that she loathes.

She takes care to lean slowly onto his desk, to push stacks of papers on the side just to make ample room for her trespass, and, especially, to see that slight look of annoyance curl underneath his “Hokage mask.”  She sees the tension in his throat, like he’s about to snap just from her proximity, but, oh, no, it’s too late for him to swivel his little chair around.  No, not this time.  In a low whisper, she asks, “You suggest that we, the Hyuuga, are not doing our part?”

Blue storms against her own glare.  His jaw remains locked.  He’s not backing down, but he’s not defending himself, either, and she can imagine chipping into his very skin, slicing into the sinews of his frame until it all peels away...

Uzumaki Naruto, without the stupid titles that he wears as if to validate his existence.

“Hokage-sama?” she coos, and it’s with great satisfaction to see how much he hates it when she calls him that.  Once upon a time, perhaps not so long ago, she called him differently, but simple sentimentality doesn’t forgive the empty shell he’s become today.  “I give you my body, my life of service, and that’s still not enough?”

Discord stews within his eyes, uncertainty flashes plain as day across his expression, and within only a fraction of a second she remembers throwing herself between a pinned boy and a monster.

She laughs aloud, abruptly standing straight, and turns around to face Hanabi.

Her sister looks too amused by the rather overtly flirtatious exchange, and she’s secretly relieved that it appeared as only that.

Not an unwelcome trip down memory lane, just the scent of ashes from doused flames between two never-could-be’s.

“Hanabi, we’re done here.”  She hooks arms with her little sister and leads them back to the door.  A glance cast over her shoulder, and she’s only angrier at the sad man he’s become.  “The Hyuuga clan does not agree to your terms.  Change them.”

Hanabi is turning the handle when he interrupts their exit.

“Hinata, you know that you’ve done more than enough.”  His voice, low, is pitiful, and for a wild moment, she thinks to argue.

Never would she hold that time over his head.  Never would she ever think to guilt-trip him into favoring her clan, and so, she stands taller, intent on reframing this entire conversation as best she can.  “Well, that’s new,” she jokes in her sister’s direction.  “With the way these men carry on, I’ve been led to think they could never get enough of me.”

Hanabi’s jaw drops, and her hand flies up in mock modesty.  “Nee-sama!” she practically squeals.

She indulges Hanabi with a knowing smile.  “Let’s go.”

“Wait, Hinata-”

“See?” she sighs in exaggerated exasperation.  “Hokage-sama, you can have more of me the next time you try to raise our taxes.  We have other, more important matters to attend to now.  Good bye.”

“Hinata, I’m seri-”

Shutting the door solidly, she tries to leave the dust of her feelings behind, too.

She knows...

He’s too proud to pick them up anyway.

-------------

😱  This needs a second chapter!!!!!!!!!!  ***screaming*** I enjoyed writing this far longer tonight than I should have.

[linyi-is-dreaming]

The Drop Of A Tear - 15

BTS V x Y/N (Reader)

Summary: Tae meets a woman who is very manipulative. Before he even notices anything, she got him around her finger. He decides to leave his wife Y/N and his four kids to start a new life with the new woman. This perfect house of cards that he had just started to build, starts to unfold as she starts to show her true face. Piece by piece it makes him feel sick. Tae notices his wrong doing as his house of cards starts to fall apart. Regret and hate towards himself makes him wish to turn things around. Will he be able to safe his house of cards and to get back what he once threw away?

CHAPTER 15

“Are you sure I should not come with you?”, Jungkook asks as he talks with Y/N on the phone. He can hear that she seems to have come to a stop as the motor of her car is no longer hearable. “I would only need a few minutes to be there if you want me to.”

“I told you I will do this on my own and now I am already in front of Tae’s house. I will be alright. Plus, I do not know how he will take it if he sees you here with me at this moment.”

“I know you will be alright but if anything is happening that you do not like, text or call me immediately. I do not care what he thinks. You know that.” A small laugh escapes Y/N as she hears the cockiness in Jungkook’s voice.

“Yeah, I know... By the way, I thought you are at Yoongi’s studio today?” Surprised by her question, he looks at Yoongi who shows him with his hand to cut the call. Jungkook watches Yoongi turn his eyes before he turns back to his computer.

“I am. I am at Yoongi’s studio right now.”

“He does not mind that you are still talking to me instead of working?”

“He actually curses at me for the last five minutes…”, he confesses as he mouths a sorry to Yoongi who is turning his eyes once again. Yoongi tries to be as patient as he can but slowly, he is starting to lose any patience he got left. Y/N’s deep breath are clear to hear on the phone. As the need to let out a deep breath himself, he takes a long breath as he sits down on the couch behind Yoongi’s chair. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“You better hang up now. We got work to do. Y/N can take care of herself!”, Yoongi whispers.

“No.”, she answers. “I better get going.”

“Okay.” For a moment it was silent. No one said a word nor did anyone want to hang up the call. The silence on the phone was cut short though when Y/N heard a slap. It sounded like something heavy must either been dropped or thrown. The groan from Jungkook makes her fear that he might got hurt.

“Are you okay?”, Y/N wonders. “What was that slapping sound?”

“Yeah, I am good. Yoongi hit me with a book.”, Jungkook answers as he throws an angry look at Yoongi.

“With a book?”

“I swear, if you both do not say good bye right now, I will not allow any phones in my studio anymore!”, Yoongi yells as he walks to the other side of the room to grab a drink from his little studio fridge.

“I better hang up now.”, Jungkook states as he touches the back of his head.

“Okidoki. I will talk to you later.”

“Call me when you left his place.”

“Will do. Bye.”

“Bye.” As soon as Jungkook said ‘bye’, she hangs up to avoid any possibility of her staying on the phone any longer. As she hangs up, she looks around the neighborhood as another deep breath leaves her lips.

“You got this Y/N.”, she assures herself. Carefully, she picks up the divorce paper. “Just say ‘here are the paper’ and leave. Nothing more. Don't let him talk you into a conversation. Just bring the paper and leave immediately.” The walk from the parking lot in front of his fence to his front door might just take a minute but to her, it felt like an eternity. “Just breath.”, she tells herself as she notices how fast her heart is starting to beat. Nervously, she puts the paper under her left arm as she rings the bell with her right hand. The silence after, was soon disturbed as she hears the key movement at the door.

“I was already waiting for you, Y/N.”, Tae greets friendly as he opens his front door. “You found your way to my new address.” His voice sounds happy, too happy for her taste. ‘Didn’t he know I would come with the divorce papers today’, she wonders. Y/N nods whilst she holds the divorce paper in front of her.

“I came with the paper. The divorce papers.”, she says slowly. “I already signed them.”

“That is why you wanted to meet up?”, Tae asks disappointed as he leans against his door frame.

“I had to give the papers to you personally. I wanted to make sure you would receive them.”

“I see.”, Tae sighs as he stands upright again. “Come in. I will make us something to drink.”, Tae offers as he opens the door widely but Y/N does not look up at him nor does she show any sign to enter his house.  “Don’t you want to come inside? I could make a toast if you are hungry.”

“I don’t want to go inside.”, she says as her fingers start to move nervously. The sound of her fingers tap on the paper is not staying unnoticed by him. He keeps looking between her face and her fingers nervously.

“Is everything alright? If your blood sugar is low again, I can get you a snicker or something-”

“No, thanks. I only came to bring you the papers. Our divorce papers, Tae. Just take them., please.”, Y/N interrupts him as she hands him the paper.

“Y/N, please. Let’s think about it some more.”, Tae begs. Even though she is still holding the papers towards him, Tae makes no effort to take them from her. “We do not need to sign those papers. We can make it up on other terms.”

“Other terms? No, the papers have all the regulations required in black and white. Take them.”

“We were so perfect together. You are the best wife and mother I could have even imagined. Let's not rush it.” Angrily, she looks at him. “I do not want to make you angry but, look what our family had achieved together. We were so perfect. Can we try that again? No matter what the rules are, I follow every single one of yours to make this work.”

“You wanted to rush into a divorce first. So, take the papers.”, Y/N says as calmly as she could. She knows if he would get angry, she would have failed for him to take the papers from her.

“Come inside, please. I will make some coffee. My coffee machine makes amazing Cappuccinos. The ones you like with the extra cream on top.”

“Tae, I am not here for a small talk. I just want to give you the papers and leave.”, she explains as she stretches her arms even more to get the papers closer to him.

“Y/N, I love you. I still love you so deeply. How can I show it to you? I really mean when I say-”, his voice shuts down as soon as he sees her hand showing him to stop.

“I am not here to hear you out. Take the papers!”

“Only if you come inside first, please.”

“Just take them.”

“Is it so horrible to come inside and to talk to me? Am I such a nightmare to even look at? You looked at me for maybe ten seconds from the whole time you are here.”

“I should have left already by now. I have to go.”

“I moved for us. For our family. Take a fast tour through the house and you will see how beautiful the rooms for our children have become. The kitchen is a similar to the design of the old house but got all the things you wanted to be added to the old one. All the summer vacation photos are hanging by the stair case. The oldest one is on the bottom and the higher we go, to the latest one-.”

“You mean, just because you are selling our former home and living here, it would change a thing?”, she interrupts. “What about the missing photo of the summer our upcoming divorce went public? What about the summer that your side fling had destroyed for my kids? The summer, when you did not even have the guts to show up because you had to find yourself again? It is always about you. Always about what you want! I have enough. I am done.”

“Y/N, do not say that.”

“Tae, I am so done! Do you have any ideas how much strength it even costs me to stand here? Do you have any idea how much I hate you for everything you have done to us? Our young girl is getting bullied because of what is going on in the news! Her friends turned their backs on her. Do you even know how much she cried when you do not even call her back and how hurt she was when she had lost her friends at the same time? From all the kids, she needed you the most! You were not there for not even one kid!”

“That is not true because I tried my best!”, Tae yells in frustration.

“Not true? Okay, here we go. The older girl noticed way too much of what was happening. Do you have any idea how unhappy she still is? She wishes you were not her father anymore. The worst part, I cannot even blame her. What about the big boy’s game? You will not watch it? Why? Did you forget that you have a son who loves to play for his team and that his game which was set weeks ago would be on that damn weekend? The worst thing about it all, your own toddler does not recognize you as his father!”, Y/N yells. Her yelling is no longer anger, but also pain. The pain, to her frustration, he does not seem to be able to feel. “Do you finally get it? You dropped your kids because you needed time for yourself. You dropped them to have time for this horrible woman. You dropped them as they would not even be your kids. They mean nothing to you. Be honest, just once for the last two years.” Y/N can see the fight in Tae’s eyes before he looks down ashamed. It makes her feel bad to make him feel so low of himself but on the other side she went through so much more, that she starts to believe that this cold truth might help him realize that he is no longer needed around. It might be cold but it would be the best for her kids, Y/n believes.

“I am so sorry. I truly am fucking sorry. I know now, how different I should have had behaved but, I was so stupid.”, Tae says as wipes the tears off his face. “I was too blind to see what I was doing...”

“Way too late, Tae.”

“I know.”, he says as he puts his hands out to take the papers as their eyes meet. In the last second just as he was to grab the papers, he pulls his hands back. “But do you not think, for just one second, that we could start all over again?”

“No, we cannot.”

“I am not home until you are with me, Y/N. I need you and the kids back with me. Without you, there is no home. I regret it all so much. Don’t you see”

“Tae. Just take the papers so that I can leave.”

“I only take them if you come inside first.”

“What do you expect to happen when I come inside? You will only be mad and I will be hurt even more.”, she explains as she wipes the tear that just escaped.

“I am sorry. I know the tears are because of the pain I cost you.”, he sighs as he closes the door behind him. He puts his hand on her upper arm and turns her towards the bench. “Can we at least sit on this bench over there?”, he asks her softly.

“Tae, I really-”

“I am not about to fight with you.”, he assures. “I just want to talk to you, please. I think we have more to discuss than we both thought we would have to.”

“Fine.”, Y/N tells him as she walks over to the bench. “Make it short.” Tae nods as he sits down next to her.

“Thank you.”, Tae says with a relaxed facial expression. “I just want to understand why I was not allowed to pick you and the kids up from your current home? I just do not understand why you would keep me away from your house and not tell me that you are not living at your old one anymore.”

“It is not as I want to keep you away from our house.”, she lies. “I was just thinking about my princess. If you two would bust heads again. The ride in the car would be a mess for everyone involved.”

“I understand that but look, I am trying to figure out how to be alright with my kids again but I need your help to do that.”

“My help?” Y/N notices how nervous he rubs his hands.

“I want my kids to forgive me for destroying our family but they do not care when I am around. I am a ghost to them.”

“They care but they waited so long for you to make a step towards them that they built up a wall to protect themselves. They just do not know how to handle their emotions right now. You must give them time.”

“It’s been almost a year...”, he comments with a sadness in his voice. “Is there anything I can do? Something I did not try yet? I just want to have at least one lovely night of us playing cards and just talk about our day...”

“You can only give them time and space. That is all you can do.” As soon as the word ‘space’ came out of her mouth, Tae looks eye widened at her.

“I will not stop contacting them, if that is what you are telling me!”, he says in a deep voice which sounded like a warning. His face shows the opposite of what his voice sounded like. It looked more fragile and hurt than angry or aggressive.

“That is not what I am saying. If you invite the kids to go the ice cream shop for example, just take the kids who want to go and find something else for the others. Princess used to love to go horse riding with you, maybe you can try that.” Tae nods as he lets the suggested ideas cross his mind. He knows that she might be right. Maybe it is even better not to push them to do activities together but to do something the kids suggest instead.

“Sounds right. I will think about that.”, Tae states as he looks deeply into her eyes. “I missed this. Just to sit with you and to talk with you.” His voice was so warm and calm that she does not even notice that he placed one of her hands in his hands. Even though she is noticing it now, she feels frozen as all the emotions come back up. The soft look in his teary eyes. The careful touch of his thumb on the back of her hand. Y/N cannot help herself as to think back, when they were just engaged. It was after one Tae’s band concerts. The little walk whilst he held her hand. The snowy night on the bench whilst he moved his thumb up and down her hand. How he said that the engagement ring looks so much better on her and how he could not wait to add a wedding ring to it. Only after a blink, she notices that she keeps starring for too long into his eyes.

“I think I should get going.”, she says quietly as she removes her hand from his hands and quickly places the papers on his lap. “Bye Tae.”

“Why are you running away?”, he asks as he gets up. She takes two more quick steps before she stops. As soon as she stops in her tracks, he walks up behind her.

“I am not running away.”, she explains. “I just do not know what to feel either. Let’s be honest, we both don’t. What the hell are we even doing? Why did you do that to us? Why did you destroy us?” At her last words, both feel the sadness rushing over them. Tae nor Y/N are able to hide any of their tears as their pain is taking over their bodies.

“I have no answer to why.”, Tae sobs. “I can only tell you that I felt horrible after realizing what I did. I just could not stop. It was selfish, I see that now. Back then-”, he stops himself from talking as he takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “Back then, I did not know what I wanted for us. I felt like I was losing you because you were doing everything at home and all I did was bringing the money home and to be dad for an hour for the kids before their bed time. I was no husband to you. I was a roommate to you. A room mate who became lonely and someone who doubted himself as a father and husband. I tried so hard to be better for all of you, but I failed. I drank too much that one night and one thing led to the other...”

“Why did you say nothing? Why did you never told me how you felt? I was your damn wife, Tae! You should have trusted me as I trusted you! I thought everything was going great between us and that the sadness in your eyes came from working too much. You always said you felt overworked but never that it was because your emotions... Why did you not come to me? I was your wife, your friend and most importantly, your partner. Why did you not talk to me?”

“I do not have an answer for why I did what I did... I guess I felt hurt to not be man enough to be there for you and for our kids. The guilt of having a family that I no longer knew how to be the man of anymore was eating me up.”

“Before you started to... Did you doubt me? Did you think I would have let you down?”

“No, I never had a single doubt in my mind that I could not lean on you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything then? I don’t understand you, Tae!”

“Because I could not be who you needed me to be. I was not able to admit it because I was afraid how you would see me if I would. I was so worried that you would pack your stuff and leave.”

“You are so stupid. All I needed from you is to see me as your partner who you could trust. See me as someone you can go to when you feel lost, hurt or any kind of emotion that you need to talk about. I tried so hard to be someone who returns your love and someone you would not be afraid of to tell what is going on. But most importantly, I needed you to be the father our boys could look up to and maybe someone they would like to become. I needed you to be an example to our daughters to see how a real man treats the woman he loves. That is all I needed from you.”, she explains as she sobs. “That is all I ever wanted and needed from you.” As the words leave her lips, she can feel her heart ache once again.

“Do you still love me?”, he asks carefully as he removes her hair from her face. ‘Do I still love him?’, Y/N asks herself as she says nothing whilst looking at him. In hope that there might be a little flame somewhere within her, he places his hand carefully on the side of her neck as he looks deep inside her eyes. As he moves his face closer to hers, something inside her seem to be happy to get close to the one who was such a big part in her life but on the other side, something felt so badly wrong about it. Just before their lips touch, Tae pulls away. “You have no answer as you do not know if you do, right? Is that why you were okay if I would have just kissed you?”, Tae questions as he moves his finger under her chin. “This is why I say we should wait. We both still feel connected to each other. I know you do because I feel it too.”

“Tae, I got to go.”, she says as she touches his wrist to remove his hand from her face. Just as she was about to remove his hand, she keeps looking into his eyes. Those eyes were home to her once, those lips spoke the most calming and romantic words in the most beautiful way. She closes her eyes after realizing how much she keeps staring at his lips.

“I thought you wanted to leave.”, he remembers her calmly as he removes his arm from her.

“I am about to do that.”, she says as her eyes wonder to his chest which was once her pillow at night. All the emotions from the good days start to creep up. The urge to kiss him, feel him close again is starting to grow stronger. All the good memories they shared, flash before her eyes so fast that she has trouble to focus on any of the memories. If it was his scent or just that he was standing so close, Y/N could not say what it is that makes her wanting him. There is just something that makes her want to be closer to him. This feeling is twisted, so twisted that it starts to confuse her. ‘How could I want him now, after everything he did to me? How come I have to fight myself not to give in? What does this mean?’, she asks herself as she looks away.

“Y/N. Why don’t you st-” He stops to speak as he sees her eyes looking deeply into his with an expression he has not seen in a long time. He can clearly see that there is something longing for him within her eyes but he knows, he should not make the first move. Her mind starts to fill with the wish to be adored again, to be loved again. She knows that Tae would never able to give her what her heart desires and that she would never be able to trust him ever again the way she once did. ‘The feeling I have for you, it is stronger than what I ever felt for anybody else.’; Jungkook words were suddenly so clear to hear to her that she notices what she almost wanted to. It was enough though, for her to know what she rather wants and just like a thunder in the sky, her mind starts to clear up. ‘Jungkook.’, a voice in her head repeats. Y/N’s hands push Tae backwards to gain some space as she takes a step back. “That was a mistake.”, she says quietly as Tae steps closer to her. again “No! Stay away. I cannot believe that I almost did that!”, she tells him as tears run down her cheeks. Before Tae has even a chance to say anything else, she runs towards her car.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wait! Let’s talk about this.”, he screams after her as she keeps running faster and faster towards her car. He wants to run behind her, but he knows that she needs space. Space from him no matter how hard it might get for himself. If he really wants his family back, he knows that he needs to put himself back first.  “Stop running from me.”, he says quietly with a broken voice as he watches her getting into her car. For a moment he fights with himself if he should stop her from leaving or if he should just let her go. As she drives off, he looks at the papers in his hand. “I will see you soon, Y/N.” Tae looks one more time after the car before she is out of sight.

As Y/N drives off onto the street, she keeps scolding herself for the desire to be close with the man again, who cheated on her. No matter how much Y/N is thinking about the feeling which made her almost kiss him, she cannot help but cry. Cry in disappointed about herself. The fear of becoming weak for a man who did this to her family makes her wonder, if she could sink any lower than that. Even though she keeps looking for the reason her feelings came back, she cannot help but blame herself to have not listening to Jungkook. Jungkook told her to not bring the divorce papers personally. He warned her and she did not listen. The feeling of having messed up, starts to surface on her mind. “Why am I so stupid?”, she questions herself as she keeps driving along the street. As her view became too blurry to drive, she stops on the side of the road. “Why can I not hate you? I have a right to do so, but I just cannot do it... What the fuck is wrong with me?”, she asks as she leans back into her seat. The tears run down from her face like a waterfall. It feels as she would have betrayed her own kids. She told them, that they will not be one family again and that she will not waste another tear about him. But is somebody to blame for the feeling somebody has for a person who has no control over them? “Why did I want kiss him?”, Y/N wonders quietly to herself. She starts to wonder if she could keep up with all the promises she made. “I just want to forget all the happy times. I want to hate you, Tae. I just cannot do it and I do not know why...” Angrily, she throws her phone onto the passenger seat as she crosses her arms on the wheel. “Not just that I am an idiot for what I did, but what about Jungkook? Why did I drag him into this?”, she questions herself guilty.

💧💧💧

It was not long after Jungkook’s phone call with Y/N, that he left Yoongi’s studio. Nervously, he walks up and down his living room. At first, he was just worried about her but by each hour that passed, he got more and more concerned. “Where are you Y/N?”, he wonders loudly as he checks the time on his watch again. “You wanted to be back before seven pm... It is already past eight-thirty. I hope Tae did not do anything stupid.”, he mutters as he puts his phone down. As his phone rings, he picks up quickly. “Y/N?”

“Uhm, maybe you should check who is calling you, Jungkook.” Even as he recognized the voice, he decided to check the caller’s name anyway on his screen. Disappointed about the caller not being Y/N, he sighs lightly as he places the phone in his other hand.

“Princess, did you change your mind? Do I have to come to pick you kiddies up?”

“No. Sis and I got our own room. The boys share the room.”

“Sounds nice.”, he says. “Something wrong because you called me?”

“Not really. I just wanted to let you know that you packed two pajamas for Sis but none for me...” Jungkook slaps himself in his face as he goes through his mind on how he packed the bag for the three older ones to stay the night at Jimin’s house. “I told you, you would need help with packing.”

“I am sorry, Princess. Do you want me to bring you yours or did you find a solution?”

“I am allowed to wear uncle Jimin’s wife pajamas. It is a little big but it is okay.”

“Good.”

“We are going to sleep now. Is mom there?”

“She did not arrive yet.”

“Nevermind. I will tell her tomorrow.”

“Good night!”

“Good night, uncle Jungkook.”, the girls say in unison. The sweet way the girls were speaking, makes him smile as he sits down on the couch. “Y/N, is that you?”, Jungkook wonders as he hears keys at the front door. Happy about her return, he walks towards her. “How did it go?”, he asks curiously as he steps in front of her. “I was already worried because you did not call me.”, he adds as he waits for to have taking off her shoes. As soon as he noticed the redness in her face, the tried tears on her cheek, his voice turns into a very worried one. “What happened? Did he touch you? Did he yell at you?” Whilst Y/N shakes her head to answer him, he pulls her into a tight hug. “You do not have to answer, it’s okay. You are safe here.” In the moment, he puts his hand on the back of her neck, she starts to cry again.

“I am so stupid! Why are my emotions so fucked up?”, she sobs.

“Oh, Y/N... Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He moves his hand along her shoulders as he keeps her tight with his other arm around her waist. “What happened? You said you would only bring the papers.” Y/N nods to answer his question. “Did he hurt you?” This question is breaking her once again as she thinks about the moment, she thought about kissing Tae.

“I am such a fool. I am such an idiot!”, she confesses angrily. “Why did I not handle it differently? I should have just thrown the papers at his feet and leave. Why did I even talk with him?”

“It is okay. Do you want to talk about it?”, he asks as he holds her by her upper arms. His eyes are looking for hers to make eye contact with her but her eyes are more focused on his chest. It took a few more tries to finally make the eye contact happen. Her eye color looks so intense, but so beautiful. It is a few tones lighter in comparison to her eye color when she didn't cry. “You do not need to speak about it, but I just want to help you. I can only help if I know what is going on.”

“I am an idiot, that’s what’s up...” Y/N uses her arm sleeves to wipe her face dry before she looks into Jungkook’s eyes before she looks past him. “I am just so ashamed.”

“What did you do?”, Jungkook wonders as he panics on the inside if she might have forgiven him. Slowly, she removes herself from Jungkook. “Did you two... You know?”

“No, but...”

“But?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Just tell me, tell me brutally honestly. Why can I not hate him as much as I want to? I want to hate him, so badly, but I just cannot do it... I always said I did, but somehow I realized today that I don’t.”

“Oh, Y/N.”, he sighs.

“Should I not hate him for what he did to me and my kids? He did not only hurt me badly but my kids as well.”

“You will not like my answer.”

“Try me.”, she tells him as she cannot help but sob.

“You are not the person to hate or to wish bad upon someone. That is simply not you.”, he answers as he wipes the tears off her face with his sleeves. “You are just confused and you have a right to be confused.”

“Why am I like this? I do not know what to feel or what is even right to feel anymore.” The speed of her talking makes Jungkook even more worried but he hopes that she will finally say what had truly happened at Tae’s house.

“That is okay. I guess I was no help either with my confession the other night.”

“I wanted to-”, she stops talking as she wonders if she would hurt him by explaining what she had almost done. Her eyes immediately looking for his to see if he noticed what she just tried to tell him. Her eyes immediately look away as the embarrassment starts to grow.

“You wanted to do what?” Y/N starts to play with her arm sleeves as she gets more nervous. “Y/N, what did you just try to tell me?”, he wonders worriedly. A long sigh leaves her lips before she looks back into his eyes.

“I... I...”

“Breath and just tell me.”

“I almost kissed him when my emotions overwhelmed me.”, she explains slowly as her a tear escapes her eye. Jungkook’s facial expression is starting to change. At the beginning he looked worried, now it started to look crushed. “I have no explanation on why I did want to. Those feelings were overwhelming me so strongly. I thought I buried them for good... It felt like when we used to date. Like the time when he walked me home and we had to say goodbye on our first date. I do not know why, but all the emotions, memories came back. I stopped myself before I kissed him. The bad memories and your words from the other night cleared my mind. I cannot explain why I wanted to do that...”

“I already asked you, but what about now?”

“What do you mean about now?”

“Do you still love him?”, Jungkook questions nervously as he keeps staring into her eyes. “Maybe you still do and that is why you are feeling this way. Is there a spot in your heart that still loves him and that wants him back?”

“I do not think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I thought I was over him but now I am not sure anymore.”

“Answer my next question without thinking. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I told you how I feel about you but you said nothing in return. Answer honestly! Do you like me more than a friend? Answer in one, two, three.”

“I do.”, she says spontaneously without thinking. “I, I should have not-”

“You, you do?”, he asks as he interrupts her. “Do you really?”

“I kind of do. Lately, I find myself thinking about us. I know, I should not feel this way as you a friend of my soon to be ex but I cannot help it. I thought about us as a fam-”, Jungkook interrupts her words by the touch of his hands beside her jawline.

“If you do not want me to, push me away.”, he says as he leans in to kiss her. The kiss was not a minute but it was enough for both of them to feel the same feeling. Jungkook leans away slowly, while his eyes check her facial expression.

“Did I make your heart beat faster?”, he asks as she keeps looking surprised at him.

“No.”, she answers breathless.

“No?”, he asks as he takes his hands from her.

“It feels as it is about to explode.”, she says as she places her hands on the collar of his t-shirt to pull him closer for a kiss. “This here, makes my heart beat so much faster.”, she says between the kisses. Without saying any other word, Jungkook pulls her closer by her waist. One kiss, turns into more kisses. Neither of them would be able to tell how those three kisses turned into a heated make out but both of them are too lost in the moment to notice that their hands are beneath each other's shirts as Jungkook places kisses along her neck. “Wait. Wait a minute.” Her hands leave his body quickly as she pushed herself off of him. “Are we doing the right thing?”

“Why would it be wrong?”, Jungkook asks as he steps closer her to reduce the distance between them.

“I am still married.”

“This is not adultery as Tae already did that. You have a right to be happy. I want to be your happiness, your shield or even if you want me to be a damn soldier, I would do it for you.”, Jungkook says as he pulls her closer for another kiss on her lips.

“What about him though? If he figures that out?”, she wonders as she kisses him back.

“We will hide it from the kids for now just in case someone would say it accidentally. Afterwards we can inform them about it.”, he explains as he breaks their kiss. He leans his forehead on hers as he licks his lips. “In this way, we would make sure Tae and nobody else would know until we want them to.”

“Are you trying to use me for fun or do you really mean it?” Confused, Jungkook moves his head back and puts his fingers under her chin to make her look up at him.

“I am absolutely not using you for my lust or anything like that! When I confessed to you, I meant it. I just wanted to prevent more drama before the divorce has gone through. If I waited any longer, it would have eaten me alive.” The longer she looks into his eyes, the more she wonders how sincere he means it.

“Okay.”, she tells him.

“Okay?”

“Okay, I trust you. I really like you a lot and if you really feel this strong about me, I will give you a chance.” The smile on Jungkook’s face is immediately there. Slowly, Jungkook moves closer to her face to close the gap between their lips once again.

“If you only knew for how long I wanted to hear those words coming from your lips.”

“Are they truly okay of watching over the kids?”, Y/N wonders as she pushes Jungkook away to make him stop kissing her.

“Yeah. Their sons had the idea.”

“What about my little one?”

“He is already sleeping like a bear. I guess, being a singer has its purpose.”

“Did you sing for him?”

“Just a short lullaby.”

“You sang him a lullaby?”

“I do this since I first took care of him.”

“I did not know that you sing to him.”

“Now you do.”

“Let’s eat something. I bet you must be hungry.”

“I actually am hungry.”, she tells him as she pulls him to a tight hug.

“What are you doing then?”

“I am hungry for more kisses.”

“Ask and you will be given.”, he jokes as he leans in. “As long as I can call you my girlfriend, I do whatever... Whenever...”, he says jokingly as he places another butterfly kiss on her lips. “I cannot believe we are doing this right now.”

“Why not?”

“I wanted to be with you for so damn long...”

“I am yours now. So, don’t ruin it. Okay?”

“Do you think I am crazy? I waited almost fifteen years to call you mine.”, he says as he places a long kiss on her lips.