#this is so long :deadge:

[einsatzzz]

life update: still alive 👍

went to a company retreat and recovered mentally a bit from the critical brain damage inflicted by studies 💖✨ but then my social battery got so drained lmao

i work from home 100% so it's nice to see coworkers in-person once in a while like this ✨ feels like meeting with online friends lol

putting some pictures i took below

this is the beach we did some volunteer work on and then i also brought my emotional support hibari plushie (with my hibari itabag) with me ofc

that last one there is a mango pizza, which i didn't expect to be good (i couldn't even imagine the taste from the name). but somehow it tasted good actually??? the sweet mango mixed well with the cheese and the sauce. mango new pizza meta???

anyway, back to the study grind for now. tho i need to start prepping to sleep too.

[pinkeos]

Dad!Sunday Headcanons

Warning/s: None and no mention of reader's gender, whether the kids are adopted or your own is up to you

Notes: our internet is deadge so imma post this real quick from the neighbor's wifi, hopefully it gets fixed soon😭

ena the order told me that sunday is a dad to twin boys, it's real it's legit not clickbait

we all know he likes to have control over things, so it'd be funny to see dad!sunday struggling to control the boys with how rowdy and mischievous they are

like, if he wasn't busy with work, he'd be carefully watching over the kids like a hawk, making sure they don't do anything risky both to themselves and to others around them. please, he'd rather attend a meeting with the boys next to him rather than leave them unattended, trying to ignore the amused looks he was receiving from the other family heads

dad!sunday would consider buying those child harness thingy after that one time the boys were with him in the hotel lobby, he only looked away for a bit and when he turned back to them, they were already running about bothering guests with their shenanigans

when it was you, though, the boys were so behaved he thinks they've been possessed. turns out, they just really love bullying their father

they're so full of energy sometimes that dad!sunday would have trouble keeping up, especially when he's just finished with his duties. he couldn't be any more grateful whenever you'd guard him while he rests so that the boys wouldn't climb over him (they once tried to throw his halo like a frisbee)

as much as they agreed on things, there were still days they couldn't agree on one thing and bickered quite a lot. dad!sunday would have to pull them away from each other lest they throw hands and scold their ears off about their behaviors and that they should love each other because they were family. these scoldings often lasted so long that the boys agreed they wouldn't fight as much or their ears might just actually fall off with how much he talks

all the childish shenanigans aside, dad!sunday is actually very proud of his little boys. they're smart like him, and even displayed a sense of leadership, and they're kind (when they're not feeling like they're invincible that is)

and they love their auntie robin so much, too! whenever she was around, they'd be glued to her side because they seldom see her with her being a touring singer and all. they also love her because she brings them sweets and trinkets from planets she's visited

they're also very protective, like when he's not able to be around you, dad!sunday can always trust the boys to watch over you

dad!sunday is such a family man (no pun intended)

it was one of those days that sunday could relax, with no agenda and nothing to worry about. surrounded by his loving family in the garden as he sipped tea with a smile on his face

the boys weren’t too far away, playing tag with their laughs and giggles echoing in the background as he shared how his days have been with you

while you were conversing with your husband, one of your children tripped and fell face first against the grass. this cut off your conversation as he began to sob while his brother laughed at him

sunday was quick to approach them, getting on one knee to gently help the boy back to his feet, “are you alright? what happened?”

“he fell!” the older one grinned.

“oh there, there.” you cooed, picking up the boy in your arms as he pointed and sobbed about his scrapped knee

sunday turned to his other child with a sigh, “you shouldn't laugh at your brother. he was hurt, wasn't he? you should have helped him up.”

the boy frowned, looking down, “sorry, father…”

sunday shook his head, tenderly holding his boy’s hand in his gloved one, “you shouldn't apologize to me, but to your brother.”

the halovian guided the child to where you were cleaning the other boy’s knee, comforting him. sunday couldn't help how proud and joyful he was as he watched the older twin apologize before they hugged.

“thank you.” he suddenly spoke up as he turned to you, a smile on his face.

“for what?”

he held your hand and kisses the back of it, “for having this family with me.”

before you could reply, two voices interrupted you.

“ew!”

“father is so sappy!”

it took only one look from sunday before the boys scampered off, giggling.

[sadtrashking]

your tubborucho exes au scurrying around in my brain right before im about to go bed but specifically this one thingy

okok so it would be not long after flops being mega deadge bc god knows the feds dont believe in mourning. they started using the body to further their egg research and tub either didn't know about it or was aware but didnt see the progress on it until some of the attempt eggs hatch. so he either finds out or sees prototypes this would kind of get him to snap or smth and kill all the prototypes

messy hysterical breakdown type beat (as one does when these experiments look too similar to what could've been)

anyway thank you for sitting through me wordvomitting about your au lmao

I love reading your word vomit about it!

This is actually pretty close to how it goes in the au normally but instead tubbo's tasked with making the eggs using flops. It's seeing the first batch of failed eggs that makes him snap but he was wearing thin the second he got the task. This leads to tubbo attempt to destroy his research and run but he gets caught in the act and thrown in prison.

I will take any chance I get to talk about my aus especially the tubborucho ex au

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD LATE DEAD AT NIGHT/MORNING BESTIE THIS IS SUDDEN I KNOW i am just chillin just doing my thign just doing self indulgent stuff and yknow when i was finishing this xlm art thats very much Too Much in terms of self indulgence and it relates to my xiao deadge brainrot, my thought process going leftr and right when doing it something something lumine has a hesitant, unspoken desperation to see xiao safe and alive something something /petty @common perspective its always xiao seeing lumine means the world and he'll lay his life to protect her ew/ something something lumine holds xiao like he'll shatter in her arms to the day he was lifeless under that warmth something something

the thought lumine, whom her strongest experience to loss had been aether, - compared to xiao who lost so many that it numbed him- finds solace in seeing comfort and security something to hold onto being him until the time she wasn't there, and didn't have the strength or capability to keep xiao standing in the world he was born into. the thought that since day 1 its all about how the traveler has the trait, the power, to slowly easy xiao off his karmic burden. the oh so obvious notion lumine is so fragile so precious like a star in the sky a feather against skin he would do anything to keep the light in his hands.

what if the narration had been different when i thought abt that xiao being dead fr. what if this whole time it had been on her not wanting to let xiao go. what if its bc its all on the thought purification can be the cause worse than his willing succumb to darkness. what if destroying the curse can destroy him as a vessel of calamity, as unwilling the role is, instead of a cure. that the efforts to bring that karma out of his body would slowly kill him nonetheless bc you are also killing what has become part of him. its no longer a parasite that manifests in his mind and soul, because he had long accepted it as a contract, so long it lets him live longer to serve his duty to protect. literally a contradiction considering barbatos saved him before with purification but that had only been so long since he accepted that karma. my head kinda messed up thinking so it is time to die AUFHHE DORRY I AM JUST JUMBLED IN TGE MIND AND TIRED

IM SO MAD I THOUGHT I ANSWERED THIS ALREADY I THINK I READ IT AND THOUGHT OF AN ANSWER AND THEN FORGOR IM SO SORRY BESTIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PURIFICATION AS THE CAUSE OF IT I AM GOING TO EXPLODEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. the karma not quite as a weight or a debt but a part of him, as vital to his being as the blood flowing through his veins, no longer capable of existing without it. ITS SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS /SRS LIKE. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i love oyu so bad this is So Fucking Good im. im. im. no bc and then the thought of combining the acceptance of it as part of him with the slight lessening of it, with finding ways to make it easier even on the worst of days, not needing a cure or a miracle but just to live with it as a part of him...

[panic-sl0th]

I had 2 good days of energy before I got stuck in bed *tiny party*

I got so much yard work done, if I could even flex my muscles i'd show you how buff I am but am deadge

Still haven't gotten flower beds in front yard done but tree removal took twice as long as I thought it would

[simlit]

2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 25 for Yehl

What architectural or design aesthetic would best suit them?

rococo; especially light or pastel colors, grandiose designs inspired by nature and the pure drama of baroque architecture: one | two | three

If your OC likes art, talk about which piece they would love best.

The Kiss by Klimt is my personal favorite as a representation of Yeryn. Something about the pose just gets me. Both firm and tender, and there's a desperation to the way they hold each other, as well as a deep romance I adore. As for what Yehl's personal favorite would be, I ordered up something sensual, preferably with nudity and lots of drapery and The Cryptid led me to these: Sleeping Hermaphroditus | Undine Rising from the Fountain

What character from myth or fairytale best represents them?

Rapunzel; There are a wide variety of "maiden in the tower" stories, but share similar themes. A young, beautiful woman locked in a tower, usually due to the selfish purpose of others or to keep her virginal. Yehl's younger years are contained. He's only able to go as far as his father allows, making him feel perpetually trapped. Even though he lives well and has everything he needs provided for him, he lacks freedom and agency. As cliché as it is, his story follows the damsel in distress trope, and like Rapunzel, he doesn't really earn his strength and independence until the arrival of the prince. They also both have incredibly long hair.

If your OC was a character in a novel from literary canon, who would they be?

Narrator | The Yellow Wallpaper; Yehl is my favorite character, and it's only fitting that I would choose my favorite short story for him. It's a very feminist piece of literature, but I think its themes are universal in today's world. In the story, the narrator is a woman likely experiencing some form of postpartum after the birth of her child, and her husband, following doctor's advice, takes her to a vacation house and keeps her there. It's more of the same thematic that led me to choosing Rapunzel, but The Yellow Wallpaper focuses in on the woman's deteriorating mental health as she is forced to stay locked in a single room. I relate this to Yehl's numerous unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with his life, which he feels he has very little control over. So, the things he can control are generally all just desperate cries for attention. As he grows older, that desperation becomes more pent up and corrosive, more self-destructive, to the point where he verges on the edge of a "snap" on more than one occasion, and in a constant battle with himself as to whether he should give up entirely or to carry on miserably just to spite those that wish him gone. By the end of the short story, the narrator does eventually suffer that mental break, and I just think it's a really tragic and all too real and human depiction of what happens when someone is deeply oppressed by a toxic environment.

If your OC were to live in some other time period, which era would they be best suited for?

Act I Yehl 1920s for sure. First taste of freedom and the falling away of old traditions and restrictions. An endless whirlwind of partying, breaking rules and peak luxury. Post-Taryn and Celaedian Yehl, would probably be 30-40s. The 20s, but more mature.

What piece of moody poetry or novel quote best encompasses your character?

"He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive, and he said mine would be drunk; I said I should fall asleep in his, and he said he could not breathe in mine." - Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

What is their character theme song and why? If it has lyrics, which line best fits them?

Why'd you lie in the carnage with me? Why'd you gift me your fallout? You were right, it was on us to see we were holding out."Let Go" - Talos

Talos is one of my favorite artists because of his lyrics. They're not straight forward and he doesn't explain himself, which leaves so much up for interpretation. One of the things I think he does best is embody a feeling of pain and struggle in his music. "Let Go" is Yehl's theme because of how well it personifies that struggle. To me it reads as two people who stay together despite one suffering from extreme mental anguish or fatigue. Maybe it's depression, grief, guilt, who knows. But I think at the core of Yeryn's dynamic, Yehl is such a broken person and Taryn knows it deeply. Though at the beginning he wants little more to exploit that, he begins to take on Yehl's feelings, not internalizing, but simply in a state of constant awareness. Even though Taryn has struggles of his own, this one thing was true early on. He found Yehl's suffering beautiful and wanted to save him in the only way he knew how, by fighting his demons for him. And that line "Why'd you lie in the carnage with me?" resonates with me as Yehl trying to understand that Taryn could love him enough to bear his problems alongside him, regardless of their consequence.

Who is your muse’s muse?

Judine; Yehl always admired his eldest brother. Even from a young age, Yehl emphatically adored Judine. To him, Judine is the epitome of both kindness and strength. In his mind, he puts his brother on a pedestal, believing him to be perfect in every way, and worthy of love. I think the latter, most of all, is why Yehl wishes he could be more like him. As if, if he was just like Judine, he, too, could be loved.

What is a common misconception about your OC?

That he is flawless. As Celaedian, he doesn't lose any of the inner struggle or turmoil of his younger years, he simply matures to a point where he can better cope with them, and prioritizes things besides himself. Even his own son fails to recognize that Yehl isn't perfect. It's such a stark difference to his earlier life when everyone believed him to be a complete fuck up. Outside the context of the story though, I always think it's funny when people see pictures of Yehl without having read the novel, and assume him to be this fragile, precious little bun and Taryn as the dark, menacing force, when realistically their personalities were the opposite of expectation, though nuanced. Yehl has always been mentally fragile, but so many of his behaviors were more of the typical "villain" traits than Taryn's.

What sort of role do they take on in relationships, either familial, romantic or platonic. i.e. are they a defender, protector, nurturer, etc.

Nurturer, even though it takes him a long time to feel strong enough to do so. In his relationship with Taryn, and even with Zehel, he is a constant source of open, unconditional love, and will tell them so even if they can't. He is the softness and the emotionality they lack. They provide him with a safe place to be who and what he is, and he offers his love freely.

What is one thing that they only let those closest to them see?

How hurt he really is. Yehl denies for a long time that he suffered emotionally at his father's hands. He wants everyone to believe he didn't care, and that he was fine. He went out of his way to earn a reputation of being wild and reckless and carefree, but it wasn't who he actually was. He's incredibly fragile, but to him, letting others see him break was an act of surrender. He didn't want his abusers or the people who hated him to have the satisfaction of knowing what they did affected him. Taryn, Judine and Linaea were the only people who could see through him, but Taryn is the first and only person he finally lowered the mask for, and is still the only person he feels safe enough with to openly admit it to.

How would their life be different if they had never met their partner?

I think the sad part is that Yehl really would have been worse off if he'd never met Taryn. He sort of did need someone to come along and save him, because he really couldn't help himself, and even if he could, he'd been so beaten down he'd more or less given up. He would have wasted away on the chain his father had given him. Never loved or been loved, never seen the world. He would have lived his false charade of a life until he faded away, and very few people would have ever known him well enough to miss him.

What was the moment at which they knew they were in love, or was it a slow buildup?

It was a slow buildup, but he felt the physical attraction first. It wasn't until much later when he realized Taryn had the capacity to be gentle with him that the emotional attraction began.

What was it about their significant other that made them fall in love with them? Was it a single eye-opening experience or many gestures over time?

It was Taryn's willingness to listen and actually hear him that Yehl fell in love with. Taryn was the first person he could truly talk to, and honestly, Taryn is a really good listener. Being able to confess things openly was both terrifying and deeply liberating for Yehl. And when Taryn begins to offer more in the way of protection and defense, giving Yehl the space to be weak and vulnerable, as well as a strong force which Yehl could rely on, he can't help but to fall for him.

Which “tortured artist” does your OC share the most similarities with?

Virginia Woolf; Virginia suffered several severe depressive episodes, eventually leading her to take her own life. I think, unchecked, Yehl might have met the same grim fate. Like Virginia, I think what Yehl was passionate about, keeping his mother's memory alive, tending to her garden, and keeping up his walls in spite of everything, kept him going, allowed him an escape, and he was able to outrun his own distress until he found his "cure", so to speak. Unfortunately in the real world, it hardly ever works that way.

What does your OCs handwriting look like?