#this is slander i refuse to tag myself

[kaedthoughts]

the audacity???? because it's like i don't even have to ask to be bullied and teased for being a pathetic puppy. do i have to write it again, or should i just respond to your pending audio with one of my own? bc what better attention is there than having a dedicated vocal post?

[missandrisky]

Apology to Feminists

As prideful as I may be I am capable of admitting when I am wrong and I shall do so. I presumptuously conflated feminism (specifically radical feminism) with Female separatism on the basis that both of them hinge on the call for “radical re-ordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts” as in order for Females to truly be allowed to separate from our oppressors our oppressors must not hold power over us in said contexts. What I did not realize was that no branch of feminism extends to ALL Females (including the ‘deplorable’ and ‘disgusting’ ones who engage in sex work) not even radical feminism. To be a Female is to have to perform to expectations whether they are from males or your fellow Women; and if you just so happen to ‘perform for men’ whether you sell your actual body, pornography or just hate speech you are just as vile as the men. Whether you must engage in the system that oppresses you for survival or not your means do not justify the end if they are not virtuous and completely free of hypocrisy.

The vitriol I have received from butthurt narcissist moids and self-righteous feminists alike (who both hate my content) has led to me having a much needed breakthrough. I am NOT a feminist, I am a Female separatist/liberationist. I simultaneously call for the removal of males from power (dismantling of patriarchy) while fighting for Women to found our own spaces AND not judging the ways in which women navigate the patriarchy (which includes sex workers) regardless of its appropriateness or hypocrisy. My use of feminist tags was more so for networking than actually representing any specific movement and I should have made that more clear. Moving forward (beginning from this post) I will not be using the tags on any post that is also directed at the moid audience I collect funds from as well. I will also be creating a separate blog where I post most of my feminist-adjacent posts and describe my community projects (currently fighting the city for a Female-only shelter).

So, I apologize for the following things:

- conflating radical feminism with Female separatism/liberation

- using feminist tags on posts that my moid cucks also see/engage with

- not making it more clear that I do not see myself as a typical representation of radical feminism

That all being said I would also like to issue a sincere FUCK YOU to all the miserable imbeciles that refuse to do an ounce of actual investigation or interact with myself personally before engaging in actual slander. You make Women look just as ignorant as males while you accuse me of being one simply because I don’t fit your monolith.

XOXO,

Miss 💋

[hxneyfarm]

top ten favorite bands/musicians tag game

tagged by the love @outpastthebrakers <3

Fall Out Boy

Joji

Mumford and Sons (i do believe in early album superiority but there will be no wilder mind and later albums slander accepted <3)

Green Day

My Chemical Romance

Doja Cat

Megan Thee Stallion

Taylor Swift (i refuse to apologize i love her <3)

Ethel Cain (she's my newest obsession and i will infodump lore if you give me half a chance)

The Mountain Goats

honorable mentions halsey, hozier, boygenius, mother mother, the front bottoms, bts, countless kpop girl groups (and a bunch of admittedly problematic bands from the mid to late aughts that i've mostly let go of but still find myself feeling nostalgic for)

no pressure tags: @helixferrano @matchingbatbites @spectrum-spectre @patchworkgargoyle @djo-time @robinswill

[firebird-inkheart]

Interesting to come back here after a nice break focusing on other things just to find people scrambling to glue back together what was essentially a burning house of straw that is this “community”. When I first joined a few years back then yeah, sure, I could consider this little corner of the internet a community. But eventually “community” dwindled down to “I can only trust this handful of people to not prematurely judge and shoot me in the back”.

Initially, I started out hopeful, wanting to share my art, interact with new people. But I’ve experienced several mental breakdowns and manic episodes over the course of the last 3/4 years thanks to this “community” alone. Watching judgey “rules” build up, followed by even more predictable demanding behavior to uphold some sort of paragon of non-existent virtue, and eventually reaching a pinnacle of lies, slander, and witch hunts before we all wind down and wait for the cycle to start up again. I can barely even bring myself to tag things in the self ship tags anymore because of how willing people are to go for blood via misunderstandings or even just a straight up refusal to consider the other person’s side.

That kind of cycle leaves me feeling like I’m walking on eggshells, makes me unreasonably paranoid, even though I know I’m not doing anything wrong, for something that’s supposed to be considered a “safe space”. And do you know what all of this reminds me of? It reminds me of having to watch what I said so I didn’t accidentally set my dad off into an accusation filled rage. Chew on that for a minute: This “community” has gotten so bad that it has, time and again, reminded me of my own father’s cycles of domestic abuse.

Like, genuinely, what in the actual fuck?

And this isn’t even getting into how much this “community” preaches about give and take, but only by and large demonstrates― No, demands ― the Take aspect of things. That leads into a larger problem surrounding the demand of instant consumption that’s been plaguing the internet for the last decade, but the base line of this problem is that this “community” gets so nasty demanding that people pay attention to their things, yet don’t reciprocate by giving attention back to others. I’m not really much of a saint either; there’ve been plenty of times where I’ve gotten upset at how things I’ve worked hard on would barely even break ten notes, especially when I did properly tag them. It’s hard to look at popular blogs get tons of attention when you get nothing, I get it, really. But with the way everything gets handled around here, it just feeds back into that horrible cycle.

It’s exhausting, being in this “community” most of the time. The things that are supposed to make me happy and bring me comfort don’t bring those sorts of “rewards” to me anymore unless I keep them within a small circle. Which sucks because I do want to share with a larger audience. I do want to get people excited for my things and to hype them up for theirs in turn.

Just not in this hostile environment.

And while it’s admirable that people want to better this “community”, it’s just another cog in the damning cycle because nothing ever actually gets done. It’s always just talk before we wind up to the big pitch that is infighting and self righteous judgement and witch hunts. Over. And over. And over again.

I always say that the “dead from the beginning” is one of my favorite tropes, never really thought I’d be experiencing the irony of living it with this “community”.

The straw house is already burned down, there is no building it back up again.

[eviltmbg]

hi, im sorry, the song Unpronounceable, is actually a deep song that is crafted with purpose and thought in mind, just like a lot of other songs. this post is meant to be a silly “slander” towards tmbg fans like myself who prefer to, in a way, take the lyrics very seriously and look at them very deeply. i also personally believe and take Unpronounceable to be about a serious subject matter but that’s because of my own experiences and projections, which is what music is for, for the most part.

i do not think that Unpronounceable is any darker or lighter than the songs you mentioned in your tags, Don’t Let’s Start and She’s An Angel. id personally ‘argue��� (reasonably discuss more like) that SAA is much lighter out of the three of the songs mentioned. tmbg songs for the most part practically beg to be picked apart and analyzed, i think it’s quite shallow and an inherent refusal on a level to engage with the song as a whole if you pass off a lot of them as not deep at all and are “just about words”. you are correct on some level; “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”, sometimes there is no meaning and it can be just words mushed together that sound good. but i believe that a majority of tmbg songs really beg it’s listener to take it seriously to a certain degree.

you are free to think and take the songs in any which way you want. free to analyze or not etc, however and whichever you like, i am not trying to dissuade you otherwise. however, like i said, i personally look very deeply into lyrics (esp TMBG), i am autistic, this is my autistic tmbg centered music blog. you may think and post whatever, but as for my blog i feel that it is very rude to leave this sort of comment on my post.

i again stress that you may think and feel how you want, and i realize its strange ti take this comment as seriously as i am doing especially on a silly post from tiktok, but lyric and music analysis is the heart and core of this blog. so that is why i feel very strongly about this. i also realize that you have said only a few sentences here that feels like it doesnt warrent an essay, but again i feel very strongly about this. i also apologize if i am misunderstanding your words, but i don’t believe that i am.

[mist-sterious]

okay so, LOL? @greyhoundmp3

you took the time to @ me in a post slandering me so ppl can harass me (and they did) while having me blocked so i cannot defend myself. you started the drama by doing that AND putting ur post in the tag ur complaining about, the people calling you on on ur bs did not start shit. i do not know any of the people that defended me, most of them didnt even know what post you were lying about but could tell you were full of shit anyways.

you ALSO deleted your post tagging me because you realized ppl can (and some did) go to my blog search transandrophobia, and see that i said nothing like you claimed. you also remade the post without my @ so ppl couldnt find my post

you literally were talking about these people. you saw my post defending these people, interpreted it as evil, and attacked me and other people like this. i never once brought up or defended trans men who REFUSE to do "womens work". also you are not the dysphoria police, people do not need to run thier dysphoria by you to make sure its "correct"

insisting that gender dysphoria is just misogyny is LITERALLY a t/rf talking point because they view transmascs as traitorous women trying to escape or benefit from misogyny and brainwash little girls, and transfems as misogynists dressing up as women and reinforcing misogynist stereotypes to assault cis women.

conversing with trans people outside of your echo chamber would make you aware of base level things like this. if you want to stop being called out on your t/rfyness then stop saying shit like that.

you either

a) went after me and others and when it backfired you retracted your statement and claimed you didnt mean to hit the people you aimed for

b) you genuinely did not read the post and decided to paint me and others as the villain. as a black person i am TIRED of walking on eggshells only to inevitably be demonized.

IF you genuinely didnt mean to do literally everything thing you did, i can be convinced of your sincerity via an apology for sending people after me :^]

[throwaway-yandere]

Putting my year in review before I forget lmao.

I posted 890 times in 2022

That's 890 more posts than 2021!

I thought I created this account at 2021 wtf you mean to tell me I wrote that diluc horse fic this year?–

847 posts created (95%)

43 posts reblogged (5%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

throwaway-yandere lmao to be fair, I reblog stuff from another acc so me reblogging myself = me talking to myself

zhongrin alhaitham pls let them go.

a-dose-of-phitre eyy it's orange friend

tofuxiaociao eyyyy it's our cyno simp–

leftdestiny-posts eYYY IT'S THE PERSON THAT HELPED ME KEEP WRITING *SOBS*–

I tagged 887 of my posts in 2022

#ansytea-talks - 809 posts I talk too much, huh? Next year I promise to stfu–

#🐠 anon - 136 posts Eeeyyyy of course lmao as if fish won't be here

#tag: ocmc - cta - 119 posts and I'm willing to bet 99% of it is just me slandering alhaitham affectionately.

#😋 anon - 76 posts hehe of course <3 ensemble straws, music–

#esther anon - 63 posts good luck escaping kaeya btw <3

#tag: yan!1k idol event - 61 posts funny how it's only 61 i definitely am lazy when it comes to tagging–

#🐌 anon - 58 posts 1 fear.

#✾ anon - 38 posts alhaitham pls they've been through eno–

#yandere genshin - 34 posts ??? REALLY I'VE ONLY TAGGED 34 POSTS WITH THIS??? 34??? WHEN I BRAINROT A LOT???? HAHAHA–

#solitary anon - 34 posts ily. You know who you are. I love you.

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i still use him– it's incredibly difficult to remove him from my team so um im so sorry if you don't get match with your spouse my friend–

I remember this. This was then Kazuha refused to CRIT. BECAUSE OF WHAT?! JUST BECAUSE I MATCH 🕊️ WITH DILUC? I'M SORRY OKAY LLDHISSK PLS PLS DON'T BE ANGRY ANYMO–

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

His Closest Childhood Friend (Yandere!Diluc x Reader)

838 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

Diluc is cute. There. I said it. I still think he's a reckless yandere too.

#4

Blind Obedience (Yandere!Ayato/Reader)

1,029 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Ayato and the chronicles of killing anemo vision users part 1: the prologue to darkness–

#3

I wont give up writing for anything, even if that means I have to leave the Akademiya.

1,287 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

Aka "Creative Differences" and I'm rather shock that people are asking part 2 cuz I genuinely thought that fic was WHACK– i wonder how the anon that sent me this ask feels

#2

Vision Qualifications (Yandere!Alhaitham/Reader)

1,918 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

THIS ISN'T MY BEST FIC EITHER I MADE THIS BEFORE THE ARCHON QUESTS EUDJKWKS PLS–

My #1 post of 2022

!!!MODERN YANDERE IDOL!GENSHIN/READER MATCH-UP EVENT!!!

3,190 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Ahh of course of course lololol. Welcome to hell, 22 anons.

That's about it, see ya–

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sir-crocodile-slut]

It has come to my attention that my writing has upset a few people for various reasons. I was sent this (likely now deleted) post from a friend, and this blog, @some-piece, I believe has blocked me due to my story.

I’m refuse to sit here and take any level of slander for my work. To start, I have always heavily tagged and warned for anything that is sexual or triggering. For this story, it is labeled in multiple ways:

As you can see my masterlist is organized by the character in the story, has an emoji dictating the type of story it will be, and an overall warning that all TW will be labeled on each individual post. Next, when you click on the story from my masterlist, it shows a brief description and an extensive list of trigger warnings. If this came up on your feed and not from my list, the story itself is under the cut, but nothing graphic occurs until multiple paragraphs down so you would not accidentally see anything triggering if the cut did not work.

As you can see by the last picture, I have heavily tagged my story with the proper hashtags, showing who is involved in the story and what topics are covered, so if you searched for a character and those other tags pop up, you should not read it if those topics are triggering.

Now to address the post from that user:

This is in no way a comfort fic, as you can see by the tags, title, labels, category, etc. This is not advertised as comfort, fluff, or anything positive in the slightest.

Second, I do not hate Law, I do not think he is a bad character at all, I actually love him dearly and he was one of my first one piece crushes when he was first introduced. I have his Jolly Roger sticker on my car, I’ve cosplayed him on multiple occasions, I have a pin of him on my backpack, we share the same birthday, I have nothing against his character at all, he was included in this story as a surprise twist/ “good people can be bad” cliche. (Hence the title of “he would never do that”)

It is just a story with fictional characters, I am not accusing a real person of anything mentioned in this fic. This story is not listed under his name on my masterlist because he is not the “main character” involved and I wanted it to be a twist, but that’s why his name is tagged multiple times, to inform he’s involved but to avoid spoilers for the plot.

I write what I want to write. As a rape and assault victim myself, I will write about whatever I damn well please on my own blog, but to avoid triggering others, I overly tag and warn to be sure the reader feels safe. Just because someone self-ships with a character doesn’t mean no one else gets to write about them. If you do not like seeing your self-shipped or comfort characters in depressing stories, do not read them. You do not have to like me or my work, but don’t you dare say that I’m an idiot and a bad person because you fail to read warnings.

[yallemagne]

I understand wanting to defend a character really only bc you see people getting harsh, but I can assure you that most of the people who are frustrated with Westenra know all the defences for her actions but just need to let off some steam. After all, VH reacts to Westenra with the utmost amount of grace. It’s cathartic to rail against a character who did something wrong but faces 0 consequences. Hell, I think if VH screamed at her, some harsh Westenra critics would be defending her instead (unfortunately, not me, I’m still a bitter cunt).

Last year I was very eager to defend Jack. I thought people were being ridiculous. But then, when I started sympathizing with Renfield more (and writing from both his and Jack's perspectives), I could finally recognize that my response was defensive and reactionary. My opinion on Jack wasn't one I actually came up with myself, just a contrarian argument against harsh criticism against Jack. There are probably people who think I despise Jack now for not turning a blind eye to his medical abuse, but hey.

#| also never have gotten even a quarter as angry as Mrs Westenra as | do at Van Helsimg #bc it comes down to how much I think they ought to have known better #however | am reflecting on my own lack of anger at my mother bc she has always respected my privacy #and this is certainly impacting my ability to take perspectives

I'm angry at Van Helsing, too, to be frank. ijoegpr the only reason he's not getting a slander tag (and neither is Jack) like Westenra is that my perception of him is not discoloured by burning hate (I understand that I am very biased). I acknowledge that some of my harshness towards Mrs. Westenra is coloured by my experience with women with similar traits, so I feel so much for Lucy's struggle even when we aren't given her perspective and she's reduced to a thing that all the characters are fighting over. Likewise, I've had experiences with bad teachers, so I could empathize with Seward needing to be told the plain truth and VH refusing and instead wanting him to puzzle it out. But I don't have medical trauma, so when DD got popular, I opted to defend Seward's worst actions without understanding the full picture and giving Renfield the sympathy he was due. I feel like if people sympathized a little more with Lucy, the person this situation most affects, this "who's REALLY in the wrong" drama would be less blown out of proportion. Like jeez, it's basically a custody battle between VH and Westenra.

This is a lot of shit just to say that you really don't need to worry yourself about defending a fictional character from criticism. Some of the harshest people are probably just venting, not actually writing a hate piece against... all mothers. But also don't take that as me telling you what to do, I'm not, I respect you very much, and I enjoyed the discussion.

Let this be a lesson that we as an audience are much more aggravated by stupid mistakes than evil deeds

[bokutsumie]

THE HAIKYUU BOYS AND WEIRD SHIT THEY DO

-> kuroo, noya, atsumu, yamaguchi, tsukishima, oikawa, lev, hinata

-> genre: pure crack

-> warnings: swearing, food, lots of cringe, a bit of tsukki slander (but i love him don't kill me <\3)

-> decided to write this entire thing before i went to bed because i thought of the noya one first and i refused to let myself forget it because it's fucking hilarious

KUROO gets his headphones caught on the doorknob EVERY SINGLE TIME he walks into a room. he refuses to buy bluetooth ones because "these ones are just fine". no, they sound like music playing from fucking two miles away. he literally got them at a gas station two years ago how are they functional.

NOYA puts slices of american cheese on lays ripple chips, pops it in the microwave for 30 seconds, and calls that nachos. yes, he makes this at tanakas house and TANAKA LIKES IT. he also puts ketchup on literally everything. chicken nuggets? sure, understandable. but no, he will literally put it on everything. toast, eggs (acceptable), FRUIT. HE PUTS IT ON FRUIT. "idk it just feels better." HUH!????!?!

ATSUMU will trip on the same stair every fucking day. osamu used to make fun of him for it but it's been only so many years and now it's just annoying to him, how the fuck does he trip on the same exact one every day. osamu thought it was cause atsumu was talking to him and not paying attention to where he was going, so he got to class before him once, looked outside, and saw him trip on the fucking stair.

YAMAGUCHI had a my little pony phase a little later than everyone else (like eighth grade) so he still remembers everything about it and infodumps to tsukki about it. to no surprise tsukki fucking hates it. yachi finds it a little strange but she doesn't mind it.

TSUKISHIMA will literally just ignore you. he won't even make a snarky comment or tell you to leave him alone like deadass sometimes he just blatantly fucking ignores you. he doesn't even try to make it obvious he doesn't wanna be spoken to either, he won't even have his headphones on or be on his phone, you'll ask him something and he'll just stand there and look forward like nothing happened.

OIKAWA will forget to shut off EVERYTHING. i cant imagine this mans electric bill because he leaves on every light in the goddamn house for hours at a time. he forgets to shut the fridge, close cabinets, turn off faucets, LOCK HIS DOORS AT NIGHT!?!?! this man would be a nightmare to live with.

LEV genuinely enjoys watching golf. he doesn't even play or know how it works but when he's bored he WILLINGLY flips the tv to some sports channel and watches golf. why.

HINATA eats like a child (i'm also guilty), we constantly spills shit all over himself and forgets to wipe his mouth. i love this man but jesus christ when he's done eating something it looks like a nuclear missile hit the fucking dinner table.

TAGS: @we-mentally-unstable @1itt1el0v3 @cvsmixplant @milktyama

be added to the taglist

[anarchy2021]

hello presidents of anarchy! I’m a likely supporter of you, and I’m almost totally on board. 1 issue tho- c!dream apologists with their victim blaming and c!tommy slander are not great. how can you ensure this doesn’t continue?

We cannot. And to be transparent, we do not plan to try

But, what we DO plan to do is to promote and enable tag ettiquiette, which means Tommy apologists and Inniters (and all mcytblrs) will be more able to filter those sort of shitty takes!

We want to teach people about TAG filtering but also CONTENT filtering, so people know they aren't simply forced to sit and suffer.

We also want to de-moralise blocking people. You don't have a moral duty to see things certain mcytblr things if you don't want to, and if a user is refusing to use tags, or even you don't want to talk to them, you have Every right to block them and their posts.

I know this seems like a cop-out answer - trust me, as both a Hermitblr and Philza enjoyer i know what it is like to have a tag flooded with things you do no wish to see, and people being cruel to you fav character - but when we start trying to control people, that requires us to have things in place like enforcement and punishment - and those things go against what we stand for. They historically do not work, police don't meaningfully prevent crime they populate prisons.

We want to give people the option to opt out. We want to give you the chance to be able to stop seeing the victim blaming and slander. We want you to be able to trust yourself with your own safety.

There’s also a lot to be said about not generalising groups within MCYTblr and DSMPblr, all of us have bad eggs but that doesn’t mean the whole group is rotten. We’re all able to co-exist

We are ultimately about opening doors and giving people choices. Not limiting peoples acts

- Zaph

---

As the resident c!Tommy enjoyer of Anarchy2021, I feel for you deeply, dear asker. I have friends who are c!Dream enjoyers who feel for you, as well. The unsavory minority of their group is unpleasant indeed. But, as Zaph said, any user to act in ways that we think are right would go against the core tenets of this platform.

Instead, our platform is moving to increase protections for tag residents. Via tag filtering, etiquette, blocking, and other such methods we can ensure that everyone's fandom experience is tailored to their needs. The responsibility lies not in others, but in ourselves. Thank you for your continued support, dear asker!

 - Day

---

As the resident c!Dream apologist in this party, I am going to say it kind of hurt to see that kind of generalisation being made about Dream apologists in MCYTblr. There always will be a small minority with bad takes, just like how there's a minority of c!Tommy apologists with bad takes, and c!Techno apologists with bad takes. But we shouldn't generalise the entire group based on that minority.

It really hurts to see these accusations thrown around, because in my experience as a Dream apologist on both Tumblr and Twitter, these are the kind of accusations that typically lead to accusations of abuse apologism. Asker, know that I am 100% aware you did not mean to offend, and likely did only mean the small minority of Dream apologists who do victim-blame c!Tommy, but when the majority of Dream apologists I know — including myself — are actually abuse survivors, it does really hurt to see these generalisations made about us.

In this party, we don't want to generalise any group of apologists or enjoyers. We instead just wish to promote proper tagging to both allow people to avoid content that is critical of their faves, and allow for coherent, clear and productive debates between the groups that do want to debate/interact.

- Banshee

---

[cozy-neko]

The Cherry On Top • 01 • 02 | The Cherry On Top • 03

“Kozume, are you even listening to me?” Akaashi sighs and closes his laptop. He was only halfway through his scheduled agenda for today’s meeting, but there was no point in continuing if his client was just going to ignore him for the whole hour.

“I am, I am,” Kenma mumbled, eyes fixated on something that was hidden under the table.

“What did I just talk about for the last ten minutes then?” Akaashi challenged.

“We’re changing my video uploads from Tuesdays to Fridays, and Black Sheep wants to do a sponsorship with me in my next stream,” Kenma replies without skipping a beat. His feline eyes are still glued to his phone, unblinking, as his fingers tapped away at one of his games.

Akaashi sighed once more. “And you’re fine with the upcoming changes and sponsorship then?”

Kenma nodded. “Akaashi. I trust you to make the best decisions for me.” He finally slipped his phone back into his pocket and tilted his head to look his friend in the eye. “I didn’t hire you as my manager for no reason.”

“If I knew working with you was going to be this difficult, I would’ve stuck with my previous job.” Akaashi flashed the male a wry smile.

“Hey, if you want to hand in your resignation letter right now and go back to your previous life of disgusting convenience store food and cigarettes for lunch, by all means.” Kenma smirked and extended a hand out, palm up as if waiting for an actual resignation letter to manifest from Akaashi.

Akaashi cleared his throat and reopened his laptop. “Moving on...”

“TOORU!!!” Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs as soon as she spotted the fashion editor from across the courtyard. Lunchers nearby stared at the loud girl before turning their heads to look at the unfortunate boy on the receiving end of the shout.

Oikawa contemplated ignoring his friend and instead considered turning around to head back inside TK Mag’s office building. He would rather eat with his annoying suck-up intern than his embarrassing friend. Unfortunately for him, said friend yelled his name once more and beckoned for him to come over.

Oikawa’s eye twitched and he reluctantly trudged across the courtyard and towards Y/N.

“Don’t be so embarrassing, Y/N-chan,” Oikawa grumbled as he took a seat across from her.

“Oh please, as if that airplane tie you’re wearing isn’t embarrassing,” Y/N shot back, eyes flickering up once at the cartoon-printed tie before back down at her laptop screen.

“They’re UFOs, for your information,” Oikawa mumbled through gritted teeth, “and besides, Ayame-chan said it was cute, so your opinion is invalid and unnecessary.”

“Enough about your tie. I’m about to literally combust from nerves.” 

“What is it this time?” Oikawa rolled his eyes and lazily sipped his latte. 

“I’m about to schedule my first blog post for tomorrow.” At this, Oikawa’s eyes widened and he straightened up in his seat.

“Who’s the unlucky victim?” Oikawa scooted closer to Y/N, their elbows touching as he leaned in to read off her screen.

“You know, for someone who looks like she’s about to shit her pants from nerves, you wouldn’t be able to tell with Cherry’s online persona,” Oikawa hummed and nonchalantly commented. 

Y/N smacked his shoulder once in response. 

“That’s the whole point, Oinkawa. No one’s supposed to know that Cherry is me, and that I am Cherry.” Y/N sighed and brought the tip of her thumb to her mouth. She nibbled on her fingernail nervously as she clicked on the draft of her blog post. “Well? Can you tell who it is?”

“I would say Miya Atsumu, the MSBY setter, but I wouldn’t exactly call him beautiful, Y/N-chan.”

“It’s not Miya Atsumu and you take that back! He is beautiful, but that’s besides the point; it’s Kozume Kenma, the professional gaming streamer and content creator.”

“Well that’s subjective,” Oikawa sneered. Iwaizumi once had the opportunity to interview Miya Atsumu for an editorial, and Oikawa had tagged along much to Iwaizumi’s headache. Having played as a setter as well during his time in high school, Oikawa had some differences with Atsumu’s playing style, and the two did not get along too well that day.

“How’d you even get this dirt on Kozume Kenma anyways?” Oikawa made a face and smacked Y/N’s hand away from her mouth. “That’s disgusting, Y/N-chan, and you’re getting nail polish in your teeth.”

“I stalked his fan accounts on Twitter. It’s amazing what you can find with a little digging, to be honest.” Y/N scanned her draft. “And a little scary,” she added as an afterthought.

“Ugh, kami, I can’t do this, Tooru!” Y/N whined and shut her laptop, taking her head into her hands. “This is the most disgusting line of work I’ve ever imagined myself having to do.”

“You know no one is forcing you to take this promotion, right?” Oikawa leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest.

“This is Y/N and TK Mag we’re talking about here.” Oikawa and Y/N turned around at the new voice. “If you were over $100k in student debt and a well-known and well-paying company offered you a promotion, wouldn’t you take it?” Iwaizumi and Hanamaki walked up to the duo and took a seat at their table.

“You’re literally talking about the girl who’s dream is to become a princess and find a rich prince charming to take care of her,” Hanamaki added.

“Hey!” Y/N interjected, but was ignored. 

“But she also didn’t graduate as a journalist with an emphasis in fashion from UTokyo to become a gossip blogger,” Oikawa pointed out.

“Okay can we not talk about me like I’m not here?” Y/N pouted. “And you all have valid points.” 

She sighed. This was a tough decision. Y/N does have a lot of student debt to pay off, and the pay raise that came with the promotion was definitely enticing and worth drooling over. On the other hand, Oikawa was right in which Y/N didn’t graduate with over $100k in debt with a journalism degree to become a gossip blogger. But one thing that Y/N also had to think about was that this promotion would’ve been her opportunity to become a full-time employee at TK Mag, her dream company. And then there was Hanamaki, who was there just to out her (slightly) embarrassing and (very much so) unrealistic dream.

“Why’d you even take the promotion anyways? You could’ve just stayed an intern and wait for staff writer positions to open up.”

Y/N knocked twice before entering the Editor in Chief’s private office. “Good afternoon, Chief! You wanted to see me?”

“Oh yes, Y/N, come in. Please, take a seat while I finish up this email.”

Y/N grinned and skipped over to the loveseat that occupied the middle of the office. She crossed her legs and smoothed her blouse. Y/N was buzzing, and it wasn’t just because of the three cups of coffee she had stomached throughout the day.

“Judging by how you can’t sit still, I’m assuming you know why I called you in here.” 

“Oh, sorry. I’ve had one too many cups of coffee today,” Y/N responded sheepishly. “But I hope you’re gonna tell me what I think it is you’re gonna tell me.” 

It was hard for Y/N to keep the smile on her face from growing as she watched her Chief pull out a folder and place it down on the coffee table in front of her. The smile on Y/N’s face grew bigger as the Chief pulled out a piece of paper and slid it towards her. It was exactly what Y/N was expecting: a contract for a full-time position at the company.

“Congratulations, Y/N. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed these past few months you’ve been at TK Mag as an intern, and we’d like to extend our offer to you as a full-time employee.”

“Yes, yes, yes! I accept!” Y/N squealed and eagerly looked through her tote bag for a pen. “I don’t even care what staff writer position it’s for -- although my first choice would be for the fashion department since I did go to school for fashion journalism -- but I’m so excited!!” Y/N was already picturing herself attending fashion shows with Oikawa.

“Y/N, wait. Before you sign, I just want you to know that the full-time position isn’t to become a staff writer for the fashion department.”

“Huh?” Y/N stopped riffling through her bag. “...What is it for then?” 

“TK Mag is going to try something new. We’re going to branch out to a sister site and run a gossip blog called The Cherry on Top. I want you to take on the alias as Cherry and run the blog.”

“Gossip... blog...? The Cherry on Top? Me?” Y/N could hardly comprehend what the Chief was saying.

“Will you accept? I know it’s a brand new position and something we’ve never done before at TK Mag, but we have high hopes and I know you’ll do well as one of my best employees.”

“With all due respect, Chief, I’m a fashion writer. I write about fashion week and the latest trends in the fashion industry. I don’t write gossip nor do I want to slander anyone. It’s not my cup of tea.” Y/N narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t believe the Chief wanted her to do such dirty work.

“I had a feeling this might be the case.” The Chief sighed, and all signs of pleasantries disappeared. “Listen, Y/N, if you don’t want this promotion, I’ll give it to the next intern in line. But just know that if you don’t take this position, you’re going to have to clear out your desk by end of day and find a new company to work for.”

Y/N was in disbelief. She couldn’t believe her career was getting threatened. Her grip on her pen tightened as she stared at the document in front of her. The words Full-time Employee Contract for: Cherry, The Cherry on Top seemed to glare at her. 

“There will also be a hefty raise included in your promotion,” the Chief added after witnessing Y/N’s hesitation. “You did just graduate from UTokyo, did you not? Surely you don’t want to be riddled with student debt.”

Y/N was torn. What was she going to do? TK Mag was her dream company, and if she refused the promotion and got let go, she would drown in debt. Surely being a gossip blogger wouldn’t be too bad, right?

Y/N swallowed her pride and uncapped her pen. With a quick flourish, she signed her signature on the contract and forlornly shook hands with a now-smiling Chief. 

I hope I didn’t make the wrong decision...

“You made the right decision, Y/N. Welcome to the team.”

Y/N gulped. She couldn’t tell her friends that her job security had been threatened if she didn’t take the promotion.

“Well maybe it was time for me to grow up. I don’t need a rich prince charming to take care of me. I’ll take care of myself with my new pay raise.” Y/N grimaced on the inside. She hoped that was convincing, but judging by the silent stares she received from her three male friends, even she knew they weren’t too believing of her.

“Anyways, Cherry promised her 500 followers the first post will be up tomorrow, and she isn’t one to break promises, so... let’s queue this baby up.” With a swift click of her trackpad, Y/N’s first gossip post as Cherry was scheduled.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Hanamaki shared a look.

Kenma was unfazed. He really was. Even when his Twitter notifications blew up with mentions, he simply ignored them. It wasn’t like he paid much attention to them in the first place anyways. And when he was in the middle of streaming and his Twitch chat started spamming the link to the blog post, he simply told his mods to delete comments that had anything to do with it.

Kenma was unfazed. Simply because it just wasn’t true. And even though the readers didn’t know if it was true or not and the article was currently trending in the Esports vertical and being repurposed for other articles, Kenma knew it wasn’t true and therefore did not care.

Except Akaashi was getting on his nerves as his manager continued to try to bring it up in conversations. 

“Kozume, you have to say something.”

“Why?” Kenma sighed. He really didn’t see the need to say anything. It wasn’t like this was the first time Kenma had been the subject of a rumor. It was all going to die down soon anyways.

“It’s been three days already and people are still commenting on it. Your fans are upset, and I think you owe it to them to explain your side.” 

“It’s not a big deal, Akaashi. If fans are that upset about a rumor of me boosting League accounts as a side business, they probably should get a job and hop off Twitter once in a while,” Kenma mumbled and continued to click away on his game controller.

“Well it’s not just your fans that are upset, Kozume. Your sponsorship with Black Sheep is also on rocks right now because of the rumor.” 

At that, Kenma’s fingers slowed, and he watched his character get headshot by the enemy on the TV.

“You’re telling me that they believe some stupid rumor that was probably written by a jealous 13-year-old?” Kenma scowled, and Akaashi finally felt his friend getting serious about the situation. It wasn’t often that Kenma showed his emotions other than his usual aloof self, but when his projects started to get affected, Kenma took things really serious.

“It’s not that they believe it, but they haven’t been as responsive to my emails as they usually are ever since the post was published. It seems they might be taking your silence as the truth.”

Kenma sighed and tossed his controller to the side. He wasn’t in the mood to game anymore. Instead, he stood up and trekked down the hallway towards his game room. Looks like he had a fire to diffuse if he wanted to keep his sponsorship alive.

end notes:

→ student debt and job security is no joke 😢

→ mattsun did not join y/n, oikawa, iwa-chan, and hanamaki during lunch because he was away on a photoshoot assignment

→ kenma did boost league accounts back when he was still in college and barely starting out as a streamer... except the accounts he boosted was kuroo’s and hinata’s because they wouldn’t stop begging him to until he did

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[jasperjv]

The psychological abuse he would employ thrived specifically on secrecy. I feel a sense of power back to have everything revealed.

He was also extremely saneist (ableism but about mental illness specifically) and I refuse to have him take the entire narrative when I'm still here and I am still a living human being. That's why I put my name on it. The line he crossed to start me kicking up a fuss was being saneist about my schizophrenia, and we're a tiny minority, and I'm exceptionally well-spoken, so I feel very strongly about owning my part of the narrative in as strong of terms as I can manage. Because I feel alone in this. To be honest a lot of this is feeling fucking alone as a schizophrenic person and about the psychosis he largely triggered which fucked up my life forever. The schizo jokes and saneism and shit don't happen in a vacuum. People like me see it and this is what happens. Ineffectual rage. I refuse to be dehumanized. My words feel like my shield from this. I want people to look me in the face and hear my words and tell me I'm the person he paints me as, as wider society paints us all as. I at least have the self-awareness to realize all this.

Other than that it's difficult and complicated: there are a few other people in my circle who have been hurt and are scared for me and looking out for me, and they feel I should know some of what's going on, but they seem to struggle with what is and isn't appropriate to expose me to.

They also have a very strong sense of right and wrong and a very strong sense of justice. They want me to know what's going on and speak for myself so that nobody "gets away with" anything and that they aren't allowing me to continue to be slandered and victimized, especially since some of them feel they failed me by allowing it to go on when it was. I just said earlier "guys this is stressful" and they were like "I know, you can take a break for a while." I know it's hard to figure out boundaries between keeping myself safe and sticking my neck out a bit for others through solidarity.

But I'll remind you I was just vibing in my own corner writing down thoughts as they came up, and today it's blowing up because they want me to shut up about what he did to me as the concept of an apology doesn't enter those people's heads. Which is all I wanted btw. And that makes it more frustrating for my friends because they can't understand, "how hard is it to just say you're sorry???" well if they knew then they'd probably be just as fucked up as he was and we wouldn't be friends.

I don't think there's anything wrong with posting my thoughts and tagging them appropriately. It's not like doing it reminds me of it. It's, of course, going to be the other way around. If he doesn't want me doing this, he should (and COULD) do something about it. (Apologize or something??). Everyone else who wants me to stop, well it's probably not their business. But I was already planning on taking a break so there's that.

I haven't been into kh in years but this one dude is not worth talking about once a day every day lol

You're right. He's not worth the gum on my shoe. But it's not about that. My brain has decided we're not done processing this yet. I have to give myself compassion and see it as not being healed yet for very good reasons.

And I had to completely start over within the last year as a bombshell of added context I was previously unaware of scrambled everything. It's even harder now that memories have faded. Events I had started to discard as meaningless suddenly aren't anymore. I have effects of his abuse psychologically the context of which I may struggle to recall. Every little thing that would make this situation as difficult as possible to psycholocigally process has been ligned up immaculately, including my innate thoughtful and slowly considerate personality.

I hope the way I put it isn't too obtuse. It's not funny. But thanks for not being anonymous.

[masterthespianduchovny]

Why I Write About David and Gillian’s Friendship

I have this one anon, and I do believe it’s the same person, who asks me, “if you’re so sure David and Gillian are friends, why are you so insecure?”

It’s such a peculiar statement to make because I’m merely expressing a dissenting opinion from a popular sentiment. I’m not attacking anyone or getting defensive, I’m just explaining my case.

I’d actually argue that antis are insecure because 1. They get hostile whenever someone asserts that Gillian and David get along 2. They send hate anon 3. They resort to slander and claim they’re being attacked for not liking David. 4. They’re actively watching my blog. :) I literally don’t tag any of my anon posts, yet they send in other anons responding to them. 

If they’re so secure that David and Gillian aren’t friends, why do they care what I think, especially since it’s not harming or attacking anyone?

That’s called projection.

So, why do I write about David and Gillian?

For starters, they’re magic together and I’m clearly not the only one who thinks this. They’ve captivated fans, interviews, and photographers for almost 3 decades and that says a lot. For two people with such an enigmatic relationship, people cannot turn away.

Consequently, I examined my own fascination with David and Gillian by juxtaposing them with claims that they hated each other even present day.

And you know what?

I found that I didn’t agree with claims these two didn’t get along.

It’s not because I want them to be BFFs, which they aren’t, but because those who swear David and Gillian hate each other have an agenda. 

I’m not asking for any, but I notice whenever I post about David and Gillian being friends, I receive hate anons usually shitting on David, yet none for Gillian. The remaining anons are usually clearing up facts or trying to understand what’s going on. But, like...96% of my anons, which I received around 30 within 24 hours, is about shitting on David.

How does that have anything to do with David and Gillian not being friends?

It doesn’t.

Even one of them reminded me of when Peter and Gillian got together, which has nothing to do with David and Gillian being friends. Funny enough, they went to bat for Peter claiming his was this oh so charming gentleman only to turn out he was a massive asshole--they propped Peter up to shit on David only for that to hit them in the face last year.

This misinformation campaign that David and Gillian aren’t friends is all because a small group of Philes hate David. I’m not here to argue if their opinions are valid or not because it's nothing I care to concern myself with. But, their feelings about David has nothing to do with his actual friendship with Gillian. Yet, they conflate the two to have Gillian mirror how they feel, which is inappropriate and false.

Their poor understanding of friendships is why they believe that since David and Gillian don’t see each other every day or talk regularly means that they aren’t friends. They believe since Gillian says she doesn’t know much about David, all while overlooking that Gillian has shitty memory, that this proves they aren’t friends.

In their minds, everything is PR and Hollywood BS.

When the simplest explanation is that they actually do get along.

Even if you argue that they needed to pretend to get along during the original run of the show, which have examples of this not being the case, it doesn’t explain their present behavior. It doesn’t explain them showing up to each other plays and promoting each others work outside of the x files even after season 1 ended. It doesn’t explain them casually bringing up each other when the question had nothing to do with each other. Or allowing the other to speak at the Hollywood star ceremonies. 

Most importantly, claiming that they hate each other is calling Gillian Anderson a liar.

Gillian has stated on record that they do not hate each other. She has explicitly said that the work environment they had back then made shit tense at times. They have said that they’ve grown an appreciation for one another and wished they would’ve handled things differently. She has said she added to their friction back in the 90s.

Yet, her alleged fans call her a liar by dismissing her own words and running away with their own.

In their minds, every instance these two laugh together, smile at one another, have a good time, speak highly of the other, etc is all bullshit. They’re acting.

They say that people like Mark Mann who has personally spent time with them doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but they, internet stalkers know better than him. Their claims even goes against Jimmy Kimmel’s observation who was notably surprised at how well they got along. It was something that stuck out to him on at least three different occasions: behind the scenes, when the interview first started, and later on in the interview when he called them out again.

Again, all acting. :) It’s PR and Hollywood bullshit.

IMO, it’s absurd.

I write about Gillian and David’s friendship because I’m refusing to allow antis to continue to control the narrative and taint every interaction with their lies. To contextualize any blatant misrepresentation they’ve spewed these last few years. And to show that it’s okay to think D and G are friends, like it, and talk about it.

Because the only people who look delusional are those who keep insisting that two people who clearly enjoy each other actually hate each other.

How can two people who had a candid moment photographed into an iconic moment hate each other? Two people who a literal stranger said electrical energy surrounded them when they walked out of a room together? Two people where people (interviewers) remark on their chemistry (on and off screen)?

They give some of the best interviews together. They’re their most animated around each other. They bring out the best in each other (IMO). But, these two hate each other and aren’t friends.

When have we ever seen Gillian smile and laugh as much as she does with David?

My posts aren’t about romance, sex, or secret families (lol), just friendship and I receive hate anon for this shit. LOL.

The true insecure group are the anti David/anti gillovny folk (gillovny means more than romance so don't start).

In conclusion, altogether David and Gillian don’t talk frequently, from what we know, that doesn’t mean they don’t get along and/or aren't friends. There are different types of friendships with different frequencies and different expectations. But, these two clearly get along and enjoy each other’s company.

I’ll like to add something I forgot: Just like most relationships, romantic, platonic, or familial, people have their ups and downs. They don't always get along and sometimes issues are drawn out. That doesn’t mean two people hate each other, it means they need time to handle their own shit. Whatever crap David and Gillian may or may have not been arguing over in the past or present is their business. Neither have had issues saying how they’ve felt about each other before, so why now?

It’s because they don’t have an issue with each other, it’s all fandom bullshit.

[bonjour-rainycity]

Odin’s Ward ~ Chapter 11

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/637989270079078400/odins-ward-chapter-10

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Word count: 1531

Warnings: None

Y/n: 18 // Loki: 20 // Thor: 24 // Audunn: 46

Loki’s POV

I had known it was coming. I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Still, it came as quite an unwelcome shock.

Well, maybe less of a shock and more of a crippling punch to the gut.

Yes, that describes it better.

Mother had smiled brightly, fanning herself with the elegantly decorated invitation. Thor and Father indulged her with smiles and questions about what she would wear, giving their regrets for not being able to attend. Noticing I’d fallen silent, Mother had turned to me, asking if I would escort her to the wedding.

I’d frozen, not wanting to disappoint my mother but also being sure that I would not survive attending Y/n’s wedding to another man.

Uncharacteristically and much to my chagrin, my brother came to my rescue, quickly fabricating a reason why I could not attend and offering to rearrange his schedule to escort our mother instead.

So now I wander the castle library, trying not to pace, and annoyingly indebted to my brother.

I wonder if she’s walked down the aisle yet, or said her vows. Is it binding? Is there still time to—

Stop.

I grit my teeth against the wave of grief that threatens to overtake me. You must let her go.

I want to kick myself.

We had all those years to be together, and I fought it. And for what, her reputation? Mine? Maybe if we had gone public and our parents had seen how happy we made each other, they might have let us wed. Marrying into the Royal Family would surely be more appealing to her father than some random man from Alfheim. Of course, he wouldn’t be willing to relinquish his only heir…but we could have gotten around that. Surely I could have sent a regent to Alfheim until one of our sons was old enough to take over. And I am expected to marry an Asgardian noblewoman anyway, and Y/n is of Asgardian noble blood. It wouldn’t be too hard to persuade people to overlook the fact that she is technically of Alfheimish citizenship—she’s spent most of her life here!

And once again, my heart sinks, thinking of her all alone in a foreign realm. Yes, she has her fiancé—I grimace—and her father, but everyone she truly knows is here.

I am here.

Perhaps I should have gone to the wedding, if only to have a proper goodbye.

With shame, I reflect on our last interaction. I had the opportunity to look her in the eyes and sincerely wish her the best. Or actually say the word ‘goodbye’. Or tell her one last time that I love her. Or anything other than what I did! I should have been brave enough to swallow my despair and give her the seeing-off she deserved.

But instead I probably made her think that I don’t care. I probably made her feel even more isolated.

I hear a group of women coming my way and grab a book at random to hide my clenched fists.

“Hello, Your Highness.” Lady Naerys, one of Y/n’s least favorite ladies of court, leads the four women with her in a deep curtsey, staring at me suggestively.

A memory of an unpleasant conversation between Y/n and Lady Naerys jumps to the forefront of my mind and, fueled by the anger I feel towards myself, I am not quick enough to hold my tongue.“Thor’s spurned you, hasn’t he? Unfortunately for you, Lady Naerys, the ‘lesser of the two princes’ does not find you appealing. Better scurry off.”

She straightens, going red in the face. With a strangled huff, she storms back in the direction she came, the ladies hastening to curtsey to me again before following on her heels.

My satisfied smirk does not last long. Lady Naerys may be two-faced and rude, but she did not deserve to bear the brunt of my anger. With a sigh, I replace the book on its shelf and exit the library, following the swishing sounds of five long dresses.

I’m halfway down the hallway when I hear it: the trumpets announcing Mother and Thor’s return to the palace.

Without consciously deciding to, I’m running in the direction of the throne room. I beat Father, taking my place at the end of the receiving line near the throne. I wring my hands, unsure of what to expect. Part of me foolishly thinks Y/n will return with my family, ready to live here permanently. Father joins me just in time for the golden doors to open and Mother and Thor to walk through, both much too smiley for my liking.

The fragile hope I held sinks to my feet when Y/n is not with them.

I clench my hands behind my back tightly, wanting to flee from the room and protect myself from hearing about Y/n’s wedding while also desperate to know every detail. Protocol decides for me, and I wait for Mother and Thor to join Father and I by the throne.

The greetings seem to last an eternity. Finally, Father suggests the four of us retire to his chambers for a private dinner. Once we are all settled, Mother begins to recount the wedding. I hear endless details of flower arrangements, attire, notable guests, musical compositions, and catering, before she finally gets to the name I’ve been so desperate and terrified to hear.

“Oh, I wish you could have seen Y/n. She looked absolutely stunning, just ethereal! And her husband is quite the looker too, if not a bit older. The ceremony—”

One part of her sentence bothers me enough to dull the pain of hearing the word ‘husband’ for the first time. “How much older?”

Mother raises an eyebrow at my interruption. I’m quick to apologize, then repeat my question. Thor shoots me a warning look.

Mother makes a slight face before schooling her expression. Warning bells go off in my mind. Surely they wouldn’t force Y/n to marry an old man, right? “Easily 1500 years between them, maybe a few more.” Whatever my expression is doing causes her to smile soothingly. “Do not be alarmed, son. She and I got along fine, and I am over 2,000 years older than her.”

Fury burns through my stomach. “Yes, but you’re not meant to marry her. You were a parental figure to her, this is someone she’s meant to—”

The ability to put together words leaves me.

It’s their wedding night.

She’s probably having to sleep with him right now.

Bile rises in my throat.

Thor once again comes to my aid. “Father, Mother, if you’ll excuse us, I have much to tell Loki about Alfheim’s local talent.” He wiggles his eyebrows, earning indulging laughs from our parents. Crossing to my side of the table, Thor hoists me up by the elbow and drags me from the room.

Once we are safely out of earshot from others, he shoves me into one of the stone walls. “You have to get a grip of yourself.”

“Spare me,” I spit, anger rising to the surface once again. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

“Because I am not stupid enough to get involved with a woman I know I can’t have!”

I laugh without humor. “You are woefully daft in many other areas, fear not, brother.”

Thor growls, stepping towards me with a hand raised in warning. “Take care, brother. I am being lenient with you because I know you think your heart is broken, but I will not tolerate much more slander. You are angry with yourself, and no one else. Do not think you can take it out on me.”

I clench my fists, pushing away from the wall. Thor eyes me warily, unsure of my motivation for moving. I roll my eyes. How little he trusts me.

“Oh, do calm down, brother, I am not planning on hitting you.” I groan, anger giving way to exhaustion. I’ve never felt so helpless in all my life. “Perhaps you’re right,” I mumble. Thor gives me a look of surprise. “Perhaps I was wrong to become involved with Y/n. There’s no way it would have ended in any other way than our separation.”

Thor exhales, coming to place a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Do not be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, especially when beautiful women are involved.” He elbows me, obviously trying to be funny, but I have no room in me for humor. With a sigh, Thor grips my shoulder again, this time turning me in the direction of the garden, where a lone woman sits on a bench, reading a novel. “Loki, take the advice of your older brother. You have suffered a romantic heartbreak. The only way to bounce back is to enjoy a romantic conquest.” When I don’t move, he gives me a shove. “Go on. It’ll get your mind off Y/n.”

He has no idea how impossible that is.

But he refuses to leave so, mentally swearing to only speak with the girl, I make my way towards the garden.

A/n I haven’t written from Loki’s POV in a while, so this was really fun! Please let me know what you thought and if you would like to be added to the tag list :) 

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/638162885025120256/odins-ward-chapter-12

Make sure to check out my masterlist!

Tag list: @80strashbag @dark-night-sky-99 @what-am-i-doing10 @chxrryycola @ravenclaw5606

[unclesamantha]

my own, unprompted and not-asked-for thoughts on lyn-z way that i’ve been pondering and wanted to share (it’s a long one, i wish I could remember how to do “read mores” on here lol):

I’m posting this from a side blog I’ve had hoarded for awhile, because I’m honestly kind of scared of what might transpire. With that said, I’ve been a lyn-z way fan for over 13 years. When I was going through high school, I obsessively watched her tasteit.tv interview and bought her “Don’t Call Me Mrs. Gerard Way” article off eBay, and really appreciated her story because I could wholeheartedly relate: I felt like a total misfit in my small-ish town, was extremely self-conscious and wanted to escape and make a name for myself. I loved (and still love!) her weird dark art, her expression through various mediums. Here on tumblr, back when I used to actually tag and organize stuff on my main blog, she was probably the third most tagged topic on my blog. I even assisted with some posts on the lynz style blog. I remember her tweeting about herself being half Indian and was so amazed, she offered representation to a group of people who rarely show up in pop culture, especially not rock n roll (the only other one I can think of is the bassist from No Doubt). She was a champion of women in rock and the arts, and was so kind to her fans after shows and on Twitter. Her story about achieving all her goals and finding true love and wealth in spite of her reported hardships gave a lot of us something to aspire to. With all that said, all of what’s being said right now about her has really made me start thinking critically about who I choose as my heroes. I remember when the “lynzuglyliar” blog first popped up in maybe 2012-2013, I was like “uhhh yeah ok” because she got a lot of hate for being married to her husband, so it was easy to write it off as a hate blog. The blog name also didn’t help (sorry!). But this year, with her family coming out and confirming pretty much everything that blog said for ages, I had to start reconsidering. Is her family capable of lying? Of course. But LynZ has used her platform to pretty much slander them for over a decade, while they struggle not only in real life financially, but also to have their voice heard. Them speaking up really broke my heart - they’re trying their best to get by in life, but keep getting knocked down by a famous family member who’s husband (and by default and marriage law, herself) is worth $10-20 million while they live in a very rough area (out $40K after LynZ dropped out of a very expensive school) and her legion of fans. LynZ’s disregard for the well documented instances of jimmy kissing underage fans was a bit unnerving. Yes, she said to believe victims, but went on to insinuate that it was all Jessicka’s doing, and kind of made it about herself. The reason why people are reaching out her about it is because she has the largest platform of anyone in MSI, and unfortunately she bares some responsibility in righting a wrong that her gross band mate thought was ok.

I have a lot of thoughts on how I feel about this whole situation; it’s mostly disappointment on my heroes part, and frustration at fellow LynZ fans who just outright refuse to acknowledge her kinda disgusting actions. When multiple friends and family members all corroborate the same things, and share their own stories of betrayal and bullying, who am I - a fan who has only been witness to a projected image of LynZ’s best self and a story she conconted for herself for almost 20 years - to say they’re lying or they’re “haters”? For me, it would be extremely entitled and delusional to tell these people “hey cool story, but this is what LynZ said so shut up.” I have to listen to their stories, and acknowledge a pattern.

Long story short, LynZ was part of my coming of age, my awkward and insecure teenage years. She inspired me to pursue art and follow my dreams. I also don’t even find fault with her getting into MSI without bass talent - they’re a performance based band, and I also don’t really believe she doesn’t play on the records or live, as she’s played bass for 15-20 years so she’s definitely learned how to play effectively in that time. But I can’t defend her actions and aid in silencing the people she’s hurt. Sorry this was a really long post, I just had a lot of thoughts on someone I considered my greatest hero for so long. I tried my best not to come off as spiteful, because I’m not sure if I can say I hate her, for the reasons I just stated. There’s this notion that “women don’t owe you anything” - which is true, when it comes to unwanted advances and gross shit like that. But when it comes to decades of playing in a band that used slurs and racist/pedophilic imagery for “shock” value, as well as a lot of extremely questionable behavior and misleading fans, I just hope that one day she can come forward and take some accountability, no matter how scary it will be.