#this is satire (just to be safe)

[imtrashraccoon]

Would I pick the man or the bear if I were alone in the woods?

Horror Sans.

[spifan]

[analogtoonz]

hi guys, y’all liked Puzzleviskin so I unfortunately present to you..

SNOWTRAPPEDGENDER / SMG34SHIPCOMFIC ❅

⇒ Snowtrappedgender describes someone who finds comfort from the SMG4 episode “Snowtrapped”. It may also represent someone who finds comfort in the SMG34 / SMG43 ship.

(This has to be the most stupid flag I’ve ever designed).

[the-most-humble-blog]

🧨 “You’re Crying About Patriarchy While Taylor Swift Owns the Earth: A Lecture for the Delusionally Privileged”

Also known as: “No, You’re Not Oppressed. You’re Just Loud, Wrong, and Wearing a Pantsuit Like a Participation Trophy.”

Imagine, for a second, the cognitive dissonance:

You’re a woman in the most pro-female society ever created in human history. You’ve got civil rights, voting rights, representation quotas, entire university departments dedicated to your feelings, Beyoncé playing stadiums, Taylor Swift creating planetary orbit shifts, and every streaming platform kissing your highlighter-covered diary.

And you still manage to say:

“The patriarchy is destroying us.”

👑 Sis, you’re not oppressed. You’re inconvenienced. And there’s a difference.

☕ Let’s Talk Real Privilege (The Kind You Pretend Doesn’t Exist)

You want to know what real privilege is?

It’s being able to walk up to a man you don’t know — in public — and scream in his face like he personally rebooted The Handmaid’s Tale while holding a pumpkin spice latte in your left hand and a thousand-dollar phone in your right.

It’s being able to call him an ‘incel’ in front of his wife and kid — and then expect every man nearby to jump in and defend you. Even though you started the fight.

Even though you crossed the line. Even though you insulted him first. Because hey — you’re a woman. That means you’re always the victim, right?

💥 Let Me Ask You This (Brace Yourself):

What if every man just stopped?

Stopped holding the door. Stopped checking your tire pressure. Stopped instinctively scanning a room for threats when they’re walking next to you. Stopped pretending like your screams of “men are predators!” didn’t hit them like knives in the ribs.

What if every man — not even all, just most — simply decided your safety isn’t worth their blood anymore?

What would you do?

❌ “Other men will stop them!” No they won’t. You called those men “incels” too. You mocked their height. You said “small dick energy” like it was a racial slur.

You alienated the protectors and labeled the rest as threats. Now you want a favor?

📜 Modern Women Want Protection, Without Deference

You say “I want a man who will protect me.”

But you:

Hang out with exes who still “check in”

Go on “girls’ trips” to clubs packed with dudes

Laugh at your boyfriend when he sets boundaries

Post thirst traps with captions like “men ain’t shit”

Treat every masculine instinct like a red flag

Let’s make it plain:

You want the benefits of masculinity, without any of the respect it requires.

That’s not empowerment. That’s entitlement with Cheeto dust in it's cleavage.

🏆 “But What About Kamala?”

You mean the woman who giggles like a middle schooler during foreign policy briefings, whose own party didn’t want her, who bypassed the presidency like it was her turn at the DMV?

The one who couldn’t decide if she was Indian, Black, or just vaginally qualified?

She didn't run a campaign. She ran a diversity hire scavenger hunt.

She didn’t win a primary. She got thrown onto a ticket like a complimentary mint.

And now? She’s VP. Because we’re in a time where a uterus with Wi-Fi and a pantsuit gets automatic credibility — and if you question it, you’re a “misogynist.”

🐻 “I’d Rather Be With a Bear Than a Man!”

That viral TikTok quote, remember? Women saying they’d rather be with a grizzly bear in the woods than near a man?

Let me translate:

“I’d rather be with a 1,500-pound apex predator with claws that can disembowel me in 0.3 seconds, than share oxygen with Tom from HR.”

Why?

Because modern feminism has made you terrified of male presence, and addicted to male protection. You want safety from men — provided by other men — while calling them creeps, predators, oppressors, rapists, and “fragile little boys.”

Make it make sense.

🪖 Meanwhile, Let’s Talk About Patriotism

Every man you slander online?

He lives in a country where, by 18, he can be drafted. Where he’s expected to fight, bleed, and die to protect:

Your freedom to tweet

Your OnlyFans

Your Buzzfeed listicle

Your right to scream “Kill All Men” in public

You think that’s a fair trade?

He dies. You virtue signal in his blood.

🤐 You Think It’s All Hypothetical. It's Not.

You’re so used to freedom, you don’t recognize danger. Let me name a few places:

Iran

Afghanistan

Somalia

North Korea

Pakistan

Yemen

Those are countries where real patriarchy lives. Where women:

Can’t leave the house without permission

Get whipped for showing hair

Get stoned to death for suspected adultery

Are told by law they’re worth half a man in court

And yet, you’re here… with your Wi-Fi and your brunch and your “male gaze trauma” telling the world you’re “barely surviving under the patriarchy.”

Sis. You’re not surviving. You’re thriving on the bones of men you can’t stand.

📉 You Want Rights. But You Forgot Reciprocity.

Here’s the unspoken truth:

The only reason women get protection in modern society is because men agree to give it.

Not because of laws. Not because of “equity.” But because millions of men still choose to shield women — even ones who hate them.

You don’t need therapy. You need a history book and a f***ing thank you note. Because without “toxic men,” you'd be washing goats in a river while praying you don’t get sold for five goats and a discount on diesel.

🔮 TL;DR

Feminism in the West is no longer fighting oppression. It’s fighting reality.

You’re not being held down by men. You’re standing on their shoulders and spitting in their eyes.

The only thing keeping you safe is the honor of men you don’t respect.

If they ever decide to stop protecting you? The bear you said you’d rather be with… will be the least of your problems.

A WAKE UP CALL TO ACTION

🔁 Reblog if you’re done pretending that screaming at men in public = bravery 🧠 Share this if you’ve been falsely accused of being “toxic” for setting boundaries 🫵 Send this to a friend who still thinks “patriarchy” is what’s holding her back — instead of her TikTok algorithm and Amazon cart 🛑 Comment if you’ve ever lost a relationship because you had the audacity to say:

“I’m not dying for someone who doesn’t even like men.”

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Read it Slow, Becky):

This post is satire, commentary, truth, humor, rage therapy, and performance art. It is protected under the U.S. Constitution, universal common sense, and the blood of better men who died so you could post thirst traps in peace. If you’re offended — good. That means it wasn’t written for you. This isn’t hate speech. This is perspective therapy with a body count. Stay safe. Or don’t. It’s a free country — thanks to patriarchy.

[ravewing]

If Napoleon was in wings of fire what type of dragon would he be, I think he would be an icewing but idk

honestly ? its always been sort of in the back of my mind that hed be a seawing– i literally have no idea why !!

i feel like whenever i get into a new media, i subconsciously sort the characters (or in this case, people) into wof tribes. like i see bryce from hfjone as a sky/ice, the opabinia as a rainwing, washington as a mudwing, coach stopframe as a sandwing .. you get the idea .

i dont even have legitimate reasons for the majority of my 'tribe sorting' its literally all just based off of vibes🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

anywho i know you didnt ask but other napoleonic figure headcanons .. because im cringe ..

josephine would be a skywing i think ? maybe sky/rain

murat is definitely a sand/rain. like i know that as bones as i know that the sun rises. i can feel it in my heart

i think davout would be a sandwing, but my gut is telling me mudwing so im not sure ?

ney is a sand/night/sky (25% night 25% sky 50% sand). i feel like this is uber specific and might not make sense but its what my heart is telling me

tsar alexander is a rainwing . logically it doesnt make any sense but you guys just dont see my vision ..... but maybe an icewing too i dont really know. icewing actually is better now that i think about it

frederick iii is maybe a nightwing ? i dont know very much about him though so this could be very incorrect. i could see him as a seawing too though

fouche is a sandwing 100%

lannes is also a seawing

bagration is definitely a skywing like i dunno he has a very skywing-esque face .... but also perchance a sky/night.

barclay de tolly is a sea/sand ? question mark ?? i dont know much about him either

talleyrand is a rainwing but in the way that chameleon is a rainwing

yeag i dont think most of these make any sense but if you guys could borrow my brain you would understand . i think my founding father headcanons are more on-point because im a lot more familiar with them

[ferahntics]

What is happening

[whumpster-fire]

While I don't fully agree with the all of the whole FuckCars movement's positions I have to admit that they have really made me question and reconsider my political views. For example, I used to think the voting age should be 18 because minors are less capable of forming opinions based on nuanced thought, but after learning that "It's not fair that I have to look both ways before crossing the street, the government should just make cars illegal!" is a position that will not get you laughed out of the room in certain circles, I realized that yeah actually you could probably lower it to 3 and it would make zero difference to the quality of political discourse

[holychurchofnagito]

what is this I’m confused

we are the church of nagito, we praise him and the hope he brings and tell the world about it because everyone should know :) to hope is to keep living and to be content with life, everybody needs hope. it is a very powerful thing and is something to be appreciated

hope will always prevail over despair and we shall trust in that. trust in nagito komaeda and the hope he brings to us all 🍀

[jdcyt]

I just saw a post that says “reblog is your blog is an April Fools safe space” and I was like FUCK THAT

Reblog if you wanna scare the absolute SHIT out of your audience for shits and giggles

/satire

[tooies]

your blog is becoming tonyzaret

tony zaret is famously both the inventor and sole user of jokes

[kitshomeforwaywardsouls]

*Leans in close to the microphone*

what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?

[persephoneme]

my substance thoughts are essentially like, the effects were fantastic and they really freaked it with the acting (thank u demi moore) but just emotionally and thematically it kept swinging and missing. i think if you’re going to try for camp you need to commit or you don’t get any of the catharsis that the Monster Transformation Movie is intended to evoke. like, by the end it didn’t feel like it was trying for relief or humor OR tragedy, it just felt vaguely sad and mean-spirited. it fails as a Feminist Movie and it does so through its absolute contempt of the ageing body (and food!!!). it’s satire and it’s on the nose and i think it knows exactly what it is, but what it is just…isn’t very good. i also think that i’m tired of hagsploitation movies just in general which is not the substance’s fault but lol.

[works-of-magic]

Shedinja Mail. A flier for @the-wonderguard-project . "For a Traditional Experience, For the Future."

...

You know, for a moment I was really excited to see that Shedinja. Very neat little bug-ghosts! Shame the little guy's attached to these people.

I wonder if they know I'm nonbinary... Xe/xir user at that. Do they know I'm aroace and will never get married?

And I wonder if they know I specialize in ghost types? Because all the old-fashioned trainers I know believe in the superstitions about them... That was one of the reasons I used ghosts in contests way back when. I wanted to show people how beautiful they could be... That's why I give seminars on how wonderful ghosts are... That's why I run this breeding center with so much pride, because somebody has to love these guys, and Sinnoh's "traditions" of fear and superstition run deep.......

...Oh?

Mistress came over to see what I'm staring at, and after a brief explanation, she wants to curse them and use this flier as a taglock!

I think that's a grand idea. Let's call it "direct action". ;}P

[thesubculturalist]

Literally just googled UNRWA and the first thing that popped up was an ad by Israel saying the fucking UN was "compromised".

I reported the ad, not that that will really stop anything, but is really fucking sad that the anyone who didn't know what the acronym UNRWA stands for( its United Nations Relief and Works Agency) will have their first impression stained by this zionist shit.

They are calling an agency that is helping the people they are committing GENOCIDE against a terrorist organization.

Fuck the IDF and the state of Isreal

[violet-dragongirl]

also on that shitty cybertruck post, most of what I said there is pure speculation so please take my tags as a grain of salt.

[secretmellowblog]

On the subject of the Titanic ‘submersible’ that was lost in the deep with all its wealthy tourists— it’s so insane/eerie in hindsight to read this article from the Smithsonian that interviews the CEO Stockton Rush long before the disaster.

Despite the Smithsonian supposedly being an organization that cares about science and truth, and the fact that there were SO MANY obvious red flags from the beginning and so many people criticizing the company…..the article is a puff piece uncritically glorifying the CEO’s obviously terrible submersible project. It compares him in glowing terms to Elon Musk. It is an article about how private ventures like those of Stockton Rush and Elon Musk can and should be the future of the world.

We’ve obviously learned now that there were whistleblowers at the company who were warning for a long time that Stockton Rush’s submersible was unsafe— only to be fired and then sued. It makes sense the submersible was so unsafe, because the CEO in this interview is open about how he has no background in underwater engineering and is annoyed by quote “regulations that needlessly prioritize passenger safety.”

Soon after, the private [submersible] market died too, Rush found, for two reasons that were “understandable but illogical.” First, subs gained a reputation for danger. Working on offshore rigs in harsh locations like the North Sea, saturation divers, who breathe gas mixtures to avoid diving sicknesses, would be taken in subs to work at great depths. It was the world’s most perilous job, with frequent fatalities. (“It wasn’t the sub’s fault,” says Rush.) To save lives, the industries moved toward using underwater robots to perform the same work.

Second, tourist subs, which could once be skippered by anyone with a U.S. Coast Guard captain’s license, were regulated by the Passenger Vessel Safety Act of 1993, which imposed rigorous new manufacturing and inspection requirements and prohibited dives below 150 feet. The law was well-meaning, Rush says, but he believes it needlessly prioritized passenger safety over commercial innovation (a position a less adventurous submariner might find open to debate). “There hasn’t been an injury in the commercial sub industry in over 35 years. It’s obscenely safe, because they have all these regulations. But it also hasn’t innovated or grown—because they have all these regulations.”

The fact that Stockton Rush (who was piloting the submarine when the disaster happened) is on record complaining about the evils of regulations that prioritize people’s safety, and the Smithsonian uncritically regurgitated that rhetoric in their glowing puff piece about how rich tycoons like Elon Musk and Stockton Rush are going to save the world is just…..in hindsight of how everything ended it’s just so much horrible black comedy? It’s like a satire about the dangers of uncritically worshipping the rich.

It is mentioned in the article that Rush chose to make his submersible in a different shape, and with a different (cheaper) material than is usually used for submersibles. The article frames this as a result of daring innovation, and not of negligence/ignorance. This passage in particular, which in context is supposed to portray Rush’s critics as joyless naysayers who were proven wrong by the noble tycoon, is pretty foreboding in hindsight:

Rush planned to pilot the sub himself, which critics said was an unnecessary risk: Under pressure, the experimental carbon fiber hull might, in the jargon of the sub world, “collapse catastrophically.”

And then!!

The exact problem that happened to Titan this weekend, happened on Titan’s very first test voyage to the Titanic! The experimental carbon fiber hull had an issue and it caused communications to break down!

The dive was going according to plan until about 10,000 feet, when the descent unexpectedly halted, possibly, Rush says, because the density of the salt water added extra buoyancy to the carbon fiber hull. He now used thrusters to drive Titan deeper, which interfered with the communications system, and he lost contact with the support crew. He recalls the next hour in hallucinogenic terms. “It was like being on the Starship Enterprise,” he says. “There were these particles going by, like stars. Every so often a jellyfish would go whipping by. It was the childhood dream.”

Both Rush and the article writer treat this as a fun quirky story, instead of a serious safety failure and red flag with his experimental macgyvered regulation-flaunting submersible.

Other highlights from the article include:

Stockton rush saying that if 3/4 of the planet is water, why haven’t we monetized it?

Stockton saying we will “colonize the ocean long before we colonize space”

Lots of weird pro colonialism stuff in general??? This article loves colonialism and thinks it’s cool

Rush saying he plans for this to eventually help find more underwater resources for the US to exploit and profit from

Elon musk comparisons. The article writer does not mention that Elon Musk’s rockets explode and therefore it would be a bad idea to get in one of them, because that would imply it’s a bad idea to get into the submersible

Stockton rush seeing himself as Captain Kirk

The article writer comparing the tourists who plan to join Rush to Englishmen who went on colonialist journeys to Africa as if that’s like, a good thing. So much pro colonialism stuff in this article

So many sentences about Stockton Rush being handsome when he literally just looks like some guy

The article beginning with an editor’s note from years later disclaiming that the extraordinary submersible they’re advertising in this article is uh. It’s now uhhhh

But yeah it really does just bring home how so many organizations that supposedly care about scientific truth or journalistic integrity are willing to uncritically platform propaganda for wealthy CEOS. It’s frustrating how easily people fall for the fake myths that careless wealthy people invent for themselves, and even more frustrating that supposedly respectable institutions will platform irresponsible lies that end up getting people killed.

Rush is such an obvious and simple example of this, and his negligence is “only” killing five people including himself. But to me it feels like a cautionary tale to bear in mind when it comes to uncritical puff piece media coverage of similar “daring tycoon innovations” by people like Bezos or Musk.