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antiquitea · 3 months ago

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I AM THREE DAYS OUT FROM THESE PHOTOS BEING TAKEN AND I STILL CAN'T QUITE BELIEVE THIS NIGHT HAPPENED.

(please do not repost my photos)

so!! i had the pleasure of seeing atta boy in toronto on october 22 and it was amazing in every conceivable way. they opened for richy mitch & the coal miners.

as i was waiting outside, i was mostly texting mr. megan; his work day had just ended so he was catching me up. i was first in the outside line (the venue is also a bar so there was a small inside line as well), so i was a couple of feet away from the security guard. i saw this guy walk up to them in the peripheral of my vision, but didn't think anything of it. just someone asking if it was the line for the gig or saying that they just wanted to get a beer.

the blue carhartt pants should've given it away.

i was so close to lewis that i could've reached out and touched him. and i definitely stood there for a moment just like 😲 as i watched him go inside the bar. he was wearing a blue cap, a red shirt, and of course those blue carhartt pants.

when i got into the horseshoe tavern i did the usual wandering i do at a gig. grabbed a beer, scoped out the stage, and checked out the merch table. atta boy merch wasn't being sold yet, so i was just having my beer and walking around.

and then ... i saw lewis sitting at the back of the venue in a booth by himself, having a beer and on his phone (like texting or something). there was a part of me that said "megan, don't bother him. he goes on in an hour and probably just wants to chill." but another part of me thought "if he doesn't want to be bothered or if the vibes are off you can just fuck off. no big. no hard feelings."

well!

i wandered over, and was midway through saying, "excuse me, lewis? could i bother you for a moment?" and he was already looking up at me and gesturing to the chair next to him. "yes, of course you can bother me!" he said.

(some paraphrasing is ultimately imminent)

i sat down next to him and said something along the lines of how i really loved and appreciated all of his art - his acting, his music - and thanked him so much for sharing that with us. i told him that i wasn't going to get into the details, but that the last year was really shitty for me and that his art helped me a lot, and brought me a lot of comfort. his face lit up and he said, "oh my god, that's so sweet. that's so kind. that's why i do this! thank you!"

then he asked me my name, and proceeded to keep saying it throughout our conversation (at one point i said "okay, you need to stop saying my name so much because you're giving me butterflies" and he laughed). he then asked if i "lived around here" and i told him that no, i lived in halifax.

"halifax? that's far!"

i told him that yes it was 😂 but that i really wanted to see his band, so i'd flown in earlier in the day, and that it was totally worth the trip! "it means so so much to me that you would travel all that way to come see us! really, that's so sweet! thank you!"

i asked if he would be cool taking a couple of selfies and he was already taking his cap off, and he said that it was absolutely cool! he mentioned that it was kinda dark so we might have to use flash. i told him that flash and i weren't great friends (i blink a lot and get pretty shiny), and he laughed. we got a couple of really good photos! (the first one up above).

i told him about my bestie @wildbornsiren, who wanted to be there so badly and couldn't make it, and asked if he would be cool saying hi to her? lewis said he was down with that, and we recorded a sweet little video for her where he said hi to her.

lewis then said to me, "you know, when i think of halifax i think of stan rogers." rogers was a popular folk artist from the area, and while he's a big name, i was kinda surprised that lewis knew who he was! not to flex, but based on his spotify playlists we have similar tastes in music so i shouldn't have been that shocked.

i said that i "fuckin' love stan rogers!" and we talked about him and his music for a little bit. after gushing over our mutual love of stan rogers, i said, "if you like stan rogers and his type of music, you should really check out joel plaskett. he's from the area too, plays music in a similar style as stan, super prolific - highly recommend!"

i had to spell joel's last name a couple of times for him (the bar was kinda loud), but he may or may not be a joel plaskett fan now, who's to say!

i thanked him again for taking the time to chat with me, and he shook my hand and said, "hey, if the selfies didn't turn out come find me after the show and we can take some more." to which i replied, "i will!"

then lewis added, "i really hope i can see you after the show!"

we parted ways, and i found my place in front of the stage, a little off to the side. the place was packed! i'd actually never heard of richy mitch & the coal miners until atta boy announced that they were touring with them, and i had no idea they were kind of a big name because the place was filling up fast!

atta boy's set was amazing! of course i wish it had been longer, but they played a bunch of my faves so i was absolutely thrilled by that. poor eden was just getting over a cold, so her voice was a little strained at times, but she still did fantastic! the rest of the crowd was absolutely in love with them. if they weren't fans before the gig, i'm pretty sure they left as such.

(i posted some photos of lewis specifically here)

after their set i went to the merch table that dashel was working and bought a hoodie. we chatted for a little bit, i told them that the set was fantastic and thanked them so much. they thanked me for coming and said that they hoped i had a great rest of my night. 😊

during richy mitch & the coal miners' set, i went up to the bar to get another drink, only to see the bartender already heineken for me haha! it's so nice to be seen. lewis was also at the bar, but like three or four people away from me. but he glanced over, saw me, came over, and said "hey megan!"

i am dying from glee. "hey lewis!"

he propped his arm against the bar and leaned against it, and asked, with this big fuckin' grin on his face, "what did you think of the set? was it worth coming out to toronto for?"

i am flabbergasted that a) this was happening, and b) that he genuinely seemed interested. i said, "oh my god it was so good. i enjoyed it so much. it was such an honour to see y'all live."

he told me that i was so sweet, and then asked, "how did the selfies turn out?"

i replied, "pretty good! i have t-rex kinda arms, so sometimes it's difficult for me to get people who are taller than me in frame. but they're great!"

lewis laughed and then looked at his own arms. "i have t-rex arms too."

i laughed and said, "oh, no you don't!" NOT EVEN THINKING i reached out and touched his arm. MEGAN. DO NOT FLIRT WITH LEWIS PULLMAN. YOU ARE IN DANGER, GIRL.

he was laughing and said, "well, i'll take them!" he grabbed my phone, and asked "do we want flash or do we not want flash?"

"no flash. it's kind of my enemy because i get really shiny."

he took a couple of pictures and there was flash, and was like "wait ... we didn't want flash." so together, while he was holding my phone, we were pressing my screen together trying to figure out how to turn it off. our hands kept touching and i was... really trying not to spontaneously combust.

(hiding my face in this one because i'm not a fan of it, but his is darling)

after he handed my phone back to me, he said, "let's see how they turned out!"

i was scrolling through them and he leaned over and said, "oh these are really good!" i landed on the one above and he chuckled and said, "i really like that one!"

i don't like my face in it, but i'm laughing and clearly so so happy, and said, "you know what? i like that one too."

i asked if he would mind signing something for me, and he said that he didn't mind at all, that he'd love to sign something for me. he was putting his ballcap on (because he's such a gentleman who took his hat off for our pictures), and it was a little askew when he asked "do you have a pen?"

gonna need this dude to stop being so darling.

i did, and pulled out some bar napkins i'd stuffed in my purse earlier and asked if this was good. lewis laughed a little and nodded saying that a napkin was great.

i was just expecting a signature, so as he's writing this little novella above it, i'm like "oh my god, you don't have to do this." and he kinda giggled like it was some kind of big secret. "what are you writing, you sweet man?" i asked, and he giggled again!!

lewis handed me the bar napkin and i gave it a quick read and said, "thank you so much. this is so sweet!"

he leaned against the bar again for a moment and said, "it so means the world to me that you travelled all that way to come see us, and that you had a good time."

and then, before i'm truly aware of what's happening, he leaned in (and crouched because i'm a full foot shorter than he is), and wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me so close to him and squeezed, rubbed my back. and again thanked me so much for coming out, meant the world, made his night.

y'all. getting a hug from lewis pullman may have cured my depression. like it was an actual hug.

i, on the verge of flying into space from joy, thanked him again for everything that night, and he said, "you are so welcome! i hope i can see you again!"

LEWIS WHAT ARE WE.

i, very drunk on elation and a little drunk on beer, blew him a kiss, and he smiled and put his hands over his heart. i floated away back into the crowd, and tried to not just scream with happiness.

and that, my friends, is how lewis pullman damn near killed me.

#lewis pullman #pullman the younger #atta boy #antiquitea.txt #antiquitea.png

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rallamajoop · 10 months ago

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More random details from the depths of RE8

With the excuse of trying some shiny new mods, I've been replaying RE8 lately for the umpteenth time. Given the number of hours I've already poured into this game, you'd really think there'd be nothing left to find by this stage ‒ yet here I am, finding still more details I'd somehow missed the first half-dozen times through.

For one, there's the fact you can actually find Eva's grave in the graveyard outside the church. As the only photo we ever see of her shows her as a baby, I'd assumed she was still a baby when she died, but turns out, she was ten years old.

"Eva, June 1909 ‒ August 1919

May you slumber for only a short while"

As expected, her death of the Spanish flu took place in 1919. There's some semi-legible text on the stone, but it doesn't match the caption ‒ it's just the same generic filler text you'll find on half the gravestone assets in this game.

For another, there's Rose's baby monitor. I'd noticed Ethan turning the thing on when he puts her to bed, and even found the assets for its screen ‒ but since I'd never found the monitor itself, I assumed they must be unused.

Until this playthrough, when suddenly I'm just like, oh, there it is, sitting right on the table. You can even interact with it!

How did I miss this so many times? It is pretty easy to overlook, given you'll trigger the cutscene with Mia if you go much closer to the kitchen, but I'm still surprised I never spotted it before. (And you do have to wonder if there was ever any plan for it to show a glimpse of something more sinister than just a still-image of Rose sleeping.)

In other minor details, there's the bit where Ethan arrives on the outskirts of the village at 8AM. You can hear a clock striking 8 times as you get your first view of area.

Granted, this is not going to excite anyone who hasn't spent as long as I have putting together an hour-by-hour timeline of everything that happens in this game, but I still do love that they give you enough detail that that's even possible ‒ and this new timestamp fits right into that timeline. (And why yes I have just gone back and updated that post, what do you take me for?)

Speaking of assets I thought were unused, you know that hidden room under the castle you can't get into until later, where you have to solve a puzzle that involves setting a moroaica on fire? Have you ever looked closely at the tapestries decorating this place? Because I found them in the game files ages ago, and have been trying to figure out if they're actually in the game ever since.

Because seriously, look at these things!

Yes, that is a indeed a man with a sword and spear, wearing a hoplite helmet and sandals and nothing else. And the women seeing him from the front seem to be having a whole range of reactions to all that, er, weaponry being brandished their way. Isn't fine art wonderful?

Another asset I'd innocently assumed was unused is this wonderful bit of bullshit which was labeled simply 'antibow'. It wasn't until I took a long look at it that I realised what they meant was more like 'anti-B.O.W.', as in Bio-Organic-Weapon.

Yes, that is indeed a knife taped to some kind of grenade. Sure is one high-tech outfit we're working with here!

Only now do I spot that this is actually the bomb Chris chucks at the Megamycete in the cavern. It doesn't even come with the knife already attached, he just kind of sticks the knife onto the bomb and presumably straps some tape around them while the camera cuts away.

I still have so much more to share from my ongoing free-camera adventures, but I think we'll leave this one there for today.

#Resident Evil Village #Rosemary Winters #Ethan Winters #Eva #Mother Miranda #Chris Redfield #RE assets #RE lore #Resident Evil #ununsed assets

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viixenvi · 1 year ago

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𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

Summary: You find out Steve has been cheating with other girls on his guy's night out. But you also just found out you are pregnant...

Characters: Steve Rogers, Fem!Reader, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: Cheater Steve, hurt, angst, mention of abortion, mention of infertility

Badly written and mistakes were def made but I hope u like it!

I looked over the picture again. Steve kissing some random blonde girl in the bar. The phone was clutched in the palm of my hand. It was not the right time to find this out.

I glanced at your other hand, a pregnancy test that read 'POSITIVE' in big letters. Tonight was going to be the night I told him. The test was from the day before, Steve was on assignment so it didn't feel right to throw the news at him right after a long mission.

No one else knew either, of course, they'd be happy but it felt wrong to share it with my friends before my boyfriend knew.

The elevator dinged, letting it be known someone was there. I quickly put the test away in my pocket and wiped the stray tears from my face.

"Y/n? you are up?" Natasha asked as she walked into the living room area. The rest of the boys were following behind her, all drunk or slightly drunk of course.

"I was waiting for Steve to come home," I give a half-hearted smile to her. She nods and sits next to meme.

Steve stumbles to the couch across from me and falls back onto it. "So how was boy's night out?" my phone is set face down on my thigh. Everyone looks a bit tense as they realize I saw the photo they sent.

"Good, had fun doing stuff," Steve sighs. I nod along and pick my phone up, turning it on and pressing the photo.

"I bet you had so much fun kissing that blonde huh?" I turn the phone towards him. His eyes widen at the sight of the photo. He immediately sits up.

"I can explain!" his voice was filled with panic. Like I had just uncovered something he'd been keeping from me forever. Tears starting to sting my eyes. I tried to keep them back but the hormones mixed with finding all this out got the better of me.

"Explain what? That you cheated on me? That all the trust I put into you was a lie? That this relationship meant nothing to you?" I ask him, the tears falling down my face. I wipe them away but they just continue.

Steve shakes his head and gets up. I stand up and try to walk away but he puts his hands on my shoulders and stops me from walking any further. "Please baby, please let me explain," he begs. It almost makes me rethink it all, just for a split second.

"Explain then."

"I was drunk, I had no idea what I was doing." He takes his hands off my shoulders and rubs his head.

"Drunk? that's your excuse? Steve that photo was taken right after you guys arrived at the bar. You probably only had two drinks in you," I yell. Everyone around us is shocked. I'm never one to yell, even when provoked.

I was angry, sad, hurt. I was feeling everything and I couldn't keep it in anymore. "Listen, I'll never do it again. Honey, please." Steve looks into my teary eyes and my heart finally breaks.

He's not the Steve I loved. He's not the one I trusted and shared my secrets with. "You know, I really loved you. It may have been just another relationship to you, but I wanted to marry you." I wipe my tears again and this time they don't return.

"We can still do that baby! You and me," He says, holding my hands in his.

"Tell me one thing, if you tell the truth I'll forgive you." He nods and looks at me expectantly. "Did you love me? Like actual love," I ask. He hesitates before speaking up.

"Yes. Of course, I loved you." I can tell he's lying. I always knew when he was lying and this hurt me even worse. I knew what the answer was but hearing it from him just hurt me in ways I could never explain in any words.

I pull away from him and reach into my pocket. I pull the pregnancy test out and hold it up.

"I was going to tell you tonight, I found out yesterday." Steve beams when it registers that I'm holding a pregnancy test.

"We are going to have a baby?" He asks excitedly.

"No, you have nothing. The moment you decided to cheat on me you lost the right to me and this baby," I start. "I struggled with fertility, I told you this. I confided in you about how I was ready to start a family because I trusted and loved you completely. When the doctor told me I might never be able to have a baby I confided in you. I cried on your shoulder and you promised we would get through it. I was so stupid to actually believe I'd finally get what I wanted."

Steve's smile drops and he looks confused. "What do you mean? Are you going to have an abortion?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet. All I do know is that I want nothing to do with you ever. We are done, consider me dead from now on." I throw the pregnancy test at him and walk to our shared room.

I hear footsteps following behind me. "Y/n?" A voice says. I turn to see Natasha looking at me with a concerned face. I finally let the tears go that I was holding in. She rushes to me and holds me close to her chest as we sit on the bed.

"I loved him, Nat, I loved him," I sob out. Natasha pets my hair and rocks us back and forth.

"I know hun, I know."

#captain america #bucky barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #cheater steve rogers #hurt/comfort #angst #pregnancy #steve rodgers x reader #fanfic #fem reader #fanfiction #cheating #little use of y/n #viixenvi

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blessedwithabadomen · 11 months ago

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in love with the mess - day three

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff, flirting, the slightest hint of something more smutty

length : 3.9k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3

a/n : hope you'll have fun with this one!! I promise, it'll get into real slutty territory soon enough hehe 💗

•••

day three

With no personal social media to his name anymore (at least none I knew about just yet), Noah had seemingly decided to use my number as an unspoken permission to spam me with photos of his day. It started with a picture of his very sleepy yet very attractive face and a caption cursing out the early bus call. I could only agree, snapping a picture of my own head still half hidden under the covers and sending it back.

Load-in was a tedious task that I only peripherally participated in. Noah seemed to think similarly as a picture of the outside of their bus, cluttered with baggage, followed as well as a “Think they'll notice if I slip into my bunk instead of helping?”. I told him if he did slip away, I'd do the same. Unfortunately it wouldn’t involve the same bus.

“No sleep allowed around here” was next along with a picture of the rest of his band engrossed in a PlayStation game and quite obviously shouting at both the screen and each other. This time I went straight to texting him.

Aubrey No sleep last night either? Jet lag kicking your arse? Noah Jet lag and you Aubrey Excuse me How am I to blame here Noah You really kiss me and then have the audacity to ask that

My cheeks were burning. Quickly looking around the lounge area on the bus, I was glad to see that it was mostly deserted, only the tour photographer was sat across from me, but he seemed busy enough editing that he didn't pay me any attention. My eyes were glued to my phone again the second another message came in.

Noah Still thinking about your mouth

It wasn't just a blush now, it was a familiar tingle between my legs on top of it. Because I'd been thinking about it too. Thinking and remembering and imagining. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel his hands on me, his strong grip, the way I wanted to get his fingers everywhere on my body, his mouth, his tongue, all of it.

Aubrey And that kept you up so much you didn't get enough sleep? Interesting Anything else you did instead then Noah You don't know how tempted I was, darling But I didn't need to subject Nick to that

Right. I forgot not everyone was privileged enough to have Oli Sykes fight to get them their own room without having to share. And having been put up with a roommate several times on tours the last couple of years… It wasn't fun for anyone if someone decided to get off while the other was in the room.

Aubrey Well, you could go be alone in your bunk right now There's another two hours until Birmingham, pretty boy I'm sure your mind will occupy you just fine Maybe let you imagine my mouth a couple or other places

I didn't expect what came next. In fact, his next message took so long I wondered, once again, if I'd taken it a little too far. But once again, I was proven wrong.

The picture was dark, so much that I turned up the light on my phone to even get a hint of what I was looking up and when I saw, I almost threw it across the room. Instead though, I opted for putting it in my lap, face down, making sure that I was still alone with the photographer who was still distracted and no one else could possibly see what I was looking at.

Then I turned it back around and studied what was in front of me. It was unmistakable, really. The inside of a bunk, dark, with the curtain shut. A pair of legs in dark sweatpants, bland and impersonal, without any way to trace it back to Noah. And a bulge in the middle of it, so big and obvious and on show, it was almost obscene.

I didn't know how long I stared at his clothed dick, salivating and getting wetter, but I didn't move eyes away until I was certain I was going to go crazy if I spent one more moment trying to imagine what he would look like underneath the fabric without taking a breath.

Aubrey And you have the audacity to suggest I'm the bad one here

•••

Safe to say, I was in a mood. Noah ceased texting back and I was almost glad because I was sure I'd actually end up brain-dead if he continued like that while I was a whole bus away and without any chance to touch him. The thoughts whirling in my head, though, didn't quiet down at all. Not when we arrived at the hotel and I desperately (and unsuccessfully) tried to get at least a peek at Noah, not when we checked into our rooms, not when Oli texted me that he'd be waiting downstairs and calling us an uber for the shopping trip. I made quick work of changing my underwear, terrified of possibly sporting a wet spot when I was supposed to be trying on clothes, and jumped into the car that seemed to arrive at the same time as I did.

“No fake moustache?” I questioned as I slid into the backseat next to Oli. “I'm devastated.”

“Listen, I tried a filter and, well, ya know,” Oli explained, quickly pulling up the picture on his phone and angling it toward me. I choked down a laugh. He looked absolutely ridiculous, a black comic-esque moustache on his upper lip. It didn't help that the filter had somehow also given him a monocle and an old-fashioned top hat.

“Yeah, that definitely would have drawn more attention,” I giggled. “Pulling the hood of your jacket a bit into your face will probably work better.”

He immediately tried, pulling it down so far he could barely see, and I gave him an approving nod.

“Keep your tattoos covered and you'll be fine.”

It wasn't usually much of a problem, really, going out with Oli. Even if there was one or two people recognising him, everyone usually stayed respectful, got their photo or a quick chat, and moved on. But now Bring Me were playing arena shows and the cities were basically buzzing with fans. We didn't need to cause any sort of problem.

“So why the shopping trip then, eh? Far as I can see you got a whole suitcase full of clothes.”

I hesitated for a moment. Then I figured there was simply no use in not being honest with him. After all, looking down at myself revealed nothing but a plain shirt under a jacket and a dark pair of jeans that could be fitting much better.

“Got sick of looking like this,” I explained, motioning to my outfit. Oli had known me for years - surely he had noticed the change too, the lack of styling, the lack of care in my appearance. I was pretty sure I was wearing hot pants that barely covered my bum and fishnets that had more holes than anticipated by the manufacturer when we first met on one of his tours.

“Why, I think your face ain't half bad,” he deadpanned. I had no witty comeback to this blatant disrespect and defaulted to my standard response of delivering a good smack, but this time I was either too slow or had given Oli too much insight into the way I dealt with things because his hand shot up and caught my wrist the second I lifted it. He gave me a look and then gently put my hand back into my own lap. But he didn't let go of my wrist.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of being chosen as your shopping partner for this adventure?” The posh accent he put on almost tempted me to try hitting him again, but his fingers were still tightly wrapped around my skin and I wasn't ready to lose his touch just yet.

“Well, it did seem like a good choice, you know. With the stage fits and your own clothing line and all that.”

Oli hummed in contemplation. “Or maybe you enjoy the idea of me dressing you up a little. Like my personal doll. Wouldn't you like that?”

The way my body heated up and my fingers were getting slightly sweaty told him enough. The smirk that appeared on his face was confirmation.

“Thought so, doll.”

The uber driver announcing the arrival at our destination saved me from struggling to form a reply.

•••

Shopping with Oli was as chaotic as it was confusing. He constantly pulled pieces from the shelves and rails, holding them out to me or pressing them against my body, pretending to judge what they would look like if I wore them, and I was fighting to see the difference between the ones he thought would actually suit me and those he picked for comic relief. It was a fine line that he was treading expertly.

Still, I ended up with an arm full of clothes. If Oli hadn't sweet talked the employee - which, mind, worked quite well in an alternative store as soon as they recognised who they were dealing with - I definitely wouldn't have been allowed to drag all of them into the changing room with me. Being friends with a bit of a rockstar definitely had its perks, even if they were rather boring sometimes.

I was sorting out the pieces, trying to figure out what to start with and what I needed to take off concerning my own clothes, when a message came in.

Noah I'm at interview 528 of 1244 of the day and I am painfully bored Please tell me you're off doing something more interesting

I shot a quick picture of the mountain of clothes I'd heaved onto the little stool and sent it to him as an answer.

Noah How desperate do I sound if I ask for update pictures on what you're trying Aubrey Just the right amount

Putting on a pair of tight jeans and a slightly cropped shirt, nothing too risky, not yet, I took and sent him another picture before putting the phone away to throw the curtain back and present the result to Oli. Unfortunately, the screen decided to light up with Noah's answer right within Oli's field of views. And he had no sense of privacy.

“Are you texting Noah? Wait, are you sending Noah pictures? We need a fucking group chat.”

Who was to deny Oli Sykes. So, just like that, my shopping trip turned into a fashion show and a photo shoot all at once. It started out with the best intentions, really, Oli continuously throwing new stuff at me, tweaking the outfits, talking about accessories to accompany the looks. But as the pile of “definitely buy"-clothes grew, so did his taste for mischief.

It started with a shirt, black velvet, quite modest really, if it hadn't been for the heart-shaped cut-out on my chest. The pointy end displayed the beginning of my cleavage, not too much, but enough to be a promise. As soon as I let Oli see, a cat-like smile graced his face, obviously happy with this choice. Without any words, he immediately got out his phone again and took a picture, angling it just the way so that my tits looked a little more inviting than they did anyway.

“Noah's gonna love this,” he cackled to himself. He wasn't wrong - what followed in the group chat was nothing more than a line of hieroglyphs (in the form of emojis) that vaguely suggests he was enjoying the picture very much. The top wandered to the clothes I was definitely going to purchase. No question about it.

The next shorts-and-top combo that Oli prepared for me featured a massive amount of skin on show, I realised, as I turned the top over in my hands only to see its back consisted of not much more than a handful of thick, flat strings that would be spanning over my skin, almost suggesting a little bit of bondage. Oli immediately ordered me to turn around when I stepped out of the changing room, arranging them just perfectly. His fingers kept tracing over my tattoo, once again, and it was just as exhilarating as it had been the first time. I barely noticed him taking another picture. This time I also got a message back privately, outside of the newly-founded group chat.

Noah That the tattoo you've mentioned? Aubrey One of them

I was dying to show him the others. Anything that would cause me to be in fewer clothes around him.

Noah Stunning

I wasn't sure if he was reacting to the tattoo or the news that I had more to show him.

“Here, try this,” Oli's voice came through, followed by his tattooed hand pushing a skirt into my direction without disturbing the curtain too much. I quickly grabbed it and changed once again. It was only when it was actually sitting on my hips that I realised how awfully short it was. Only, it wasn't all that awful. The red tartan pattern was bright enough that it wouldn’t be missed even in dim light. The hem ended just underneath my arse - as long as I was standing upright. It would only take the slightest movement to enter dangerous territory.

Oli’s eyes immediately trailed over my legs as I pulled the curtain back. It was safe to say, he was very pleased with his choice. I did a little twirl for him, aware of the way the fabric was lifting up, exposing the slightest bit of my lace panties.

Oli groaned, deeply. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna work. Not with all the bending down you have to do at your job, right?”

I could see the twinkle in his eyes - but I was sure he could also see the one in mine.

“Oh, no,” I sighed, rather overdramatically. “I guess that might be a problem. Like this?”

Turning around, I quickly checked through the mirror that he was still watching me, and then bend down, pushing my butt in his direction as I felt the fabric lift up so high, it was almost around my hips exclusively. The next few things happened insanely fast - Oli taking a step forward, the curtain being shut again, his hands on my hips, his body pressing into mine. I almost stumbled, quickly placing my hands on the little stool that was still covered in a few pieces of clothing, holding on for dear life as he took the liberty to roughly push his crotch against my ass.

“You’re playing a dangerous fucking game, doll,” he said, his voice lower than I’d ever heard it. I relished in the way the pet name had me squirming. One of his hands moved to my upper back, holding me down, making sure that I knew who was in charge. The other gripped my side so tightly, it gave me an insight to how much self-control he was currently exhibiting in not doing more. “What happened to you, hm? Used to be such a good girl. So well behaved around me. Now you’re just begging for trouble.”

“You did,” I moaned. “You happened.”

It was true. I’d never been prude or shy, really, but we had never been like this. I had certainly never had him push his dick against my arse through a few layers of clothes. I had been crushing on him, yes, but I hadn’t made any moves. Now, everything had changed. The moment I’d seen him again, seen his smile, his physique, the way he behaved around me, something had changed in my brain, fundamentally. It had only gotten worse with every minute I was around him. I wanted and needed him in ways that hadn’t been present before. An overwhelming desire that was begging me to do more, be more assertive, let him know, get satisfied. And he wasn’t refusing me.

“Is that what it is?” Oli teased, the hand that was on my upper back moving again until his fingers reached my hair, grabbing some of it into his fist like a makeshift ponytail and pulling my head up so I’d look at him through the mirror. He seemed terribly pleased at the gasp that left my mouth. “Am I turning you into this? And you love it?”

“Yes,” I replied immediately.

He let go of my hair again and my head almost slumped forward. I watched as he fumbled with the pocket of his trousers, pulling you his phone. He leaned backward slightly, without quite letting go of me, pushing the fabric even higher so everything was on show, his cock still lightly pressed against my almost-bare butt, and snapped a quick picture.

“Can’t leave Noah out of this now, can we?”

Then he was off me and I almost cried out at the loss of his touch. I slowly raised my upper body, just in time for him to open the curtain again and stepping outside.

“Get dressed. We’re buying it all.”

•••

Under immense protest from myself, Oli did, indeed, buy me basically everything under the guise of “work expenses”. I knew there was no use arguing after he’d already handed over his credit card, the stubborn son of a bitch would definitely not allow me to pay him back in any way, so I wordlessly took the bags from the cashier and followed him to where he called us another uber back to the hotel.

It was dark by the time we arrived, January taking no prisoners as the sun went down. All I wanted was to get up to my room, cuddle up in the massive double bed I’d been given, maybe put on a movie, and enjoy the fact that tomorrow wasn’t an early start since we were already in Birmingham for the show. The hotel lobby was buzzing with people getting ready to go out, but one person seemed a little out of place. Oli and I noticed him immediately.

Noah was sat on an armchair in the farthest corner from the door looking, well, a little rough to be honest. We didn’t even discuss it as we walked over to him, me sitting down on the chair opposite, Oli hovering between us, dumping the shopping bags on the floor.

“Sitting here all alone, handsome?” I greeted him. He gave me a smile, but it was obvious that he was feeling pretty beat. Apparently, a day full of interviews and photos and whatever else had made its way into his calender didn’t work well with the last remaining bits of jet lag lingering in his system.

“I was gonna have dinner with the rest of the guys here at the hotel but then they wanted to go out and I realised I’m just much too exhausted for that,” he explained.

Oli moved behind him, placing his hands on Noah’s shoulders and starting to massage them. Noah briefly tensed up at the physical contact, before relaxing and leaning into it with a satisfied groan.

“So you got stuck in the lobby?”

“Kinda,” he said, eyes closed, already drifting into another dimension from Oli’s touch. I couldn’t blame him at all.

“I hope you weren’t sitting here when I sent you those pictures of Aubrey,” Oli remarked. Noah’s eyes immediately flew open again at the memory.

“I was supposed to be doing a very serious interview, actually.”

“How did that work out?”

Noah gulped. “Not that well.”

I felt a blush creeping up on my face. I hadn’t seen the pictures yet, even though they were readily available in the group chat, but I could only imagine what they must have looked like taken from Oli’s perspective. The idea of Noah looking at them when he very much shouldn’t be, maybe getting a little horny in the process, desperately trying to hide it but still checking his phone for more, was delicious. It was tempting to tease him a little further, but he looked so genuinely tired and when his stomach gave an audible growl, it didn’t feel like the right approach.

“So, we’re all in the lobby, we’re all getting sleepy and we’re all hungry. How does a movie night with room service at mine sound?”

Apparently, it sounded great. With renewed energy, Noah grabbed half of my bags, Oli the other, both of them almost at the elevator before I’d even gotten up from my seat.

What followed was a mad scramble to my room, a fight over which movie to watch (we ended up with Jurassic Park playing, somehow) and a lot of confused talking down the phone to reception, ordering just about everything on the menu. I mostly sat and watched, the way Oli and Noah interacted, the way both of them made sure to keep including me, the way they moved around in my room as if it was their own, confident and self-assured.

I looked back and forth between them, currently discussing the blanket and pillow situation, and found that my heart beat the same. I wanted Oli. And I wanted Noah. In the same way and so differently still. This was quickly moving away from “silly crush” territory and into something much more serious. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it yet, but when Noah gave me a dazzling smile, I decided now wasn’t the time to make up my mind.

An hour later, I was close to entering a food coma, watching Laura Dern be dazzlingly fantastic on screen, and trying not to think about the fact that I was squeezed between Oli and Noah on my bed. My thighs were touching theirs - it was simply impossible for them not to - but I suddenly felt self-concious about taking up any more space than that.

Not on Oli’s watch. “The fuck are you fidgeting for?”

I stilled immediately, feeling awkward at being called out. I genuinely hadn’t realised it had even been noticeable. Uttering a quick sorry I slid down a little further on the bed. It wasn’t any more comfortable.

“Jesus christ, just come here.”

Oli’s voice was harsh, but his hands were soft as he pulled me into him. It took a little bit of wiggling around, figuring out limbs and hair, until I ended up with my head on his solid chest, his arm around my shoulders, mine slung over his stomach. My ear was right over his heart. His heart, which was doing double time, in tune with my own.

“Do you need me to leave?” Noah sounded playful, but even without looking at him from my position, I was pretty certain there was a hint of honest insecurity in his question.

“Mate, we need you to join in.”

And just like that, without needing any more reassurance or invitation, Noah plastered himself against my back, moulding his body to mine, carefully placing an arm over me.

I didn’t miss the way Oli’s hand reached for his.

I didn't know how I'd quite gotten myself in this situation, cuddled up between two men who had me blushing, had my heart hammering, had me craving them. Two men who didn't seem to know what they were to each other just yet. None of us having any idea where this was going. What we were trying to get out of this. But right then and there I decided I already loved the mess we were getting ourselves into.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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ainri · 1 year ago

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obsessive love disorder

•“youre so upset with me but im so obsessed with you…”

inspired by i’m so crazy for you by rebzyyx ^

• hunter x hunter

•characters: chrollo lucilfer, hisoka morow, illumi zoldyck

• them stalking gn!(name)

•fic warnings: !dark content!, cuss words, stalking, implied threatening, violence mentioned in chrollo’s part, kidnapping in hisoka’s part, photos taken w/o readers consent, reader contemplates suicide in illumi’s part.

•i honestly couldn’t decide because this isnt fluff and also isnt angst. its really just !dark content!

•masterlist

•a/n: guys this was supposed to be a fluff of them having a s/o stronger than them. didn’t even mean for this to become dark content. also illumi was gonna be in black but then i changed my mind last minute…

chrollo lucilfer

—

~what the fuck is going on???

~you were verbally fighting at an underground auction.

~you got mad and swung at him

~not only did he constantly outbid you by a single cent, he dared to call you a ‘crude’ for rejecting him after the auction!?

~he didn’t bother to stop your punch. he didn’t think you’d actually land the hit on him.

~the hit (in which he thought youd miss) actually hurt.

~for you to be stronger than him you’d have to be like batshit strong….. so props to you!

~suddenly you start seeing him all around york new city, almost too much, almost stalker-ish..

~“(name)! lets fight again and no sneak attacks but lets not use nen—“

~then it hit you.

~“wait! how do you know my name? i never shared it with you. in fact, tell me, why do we keep intersecting paths in a city as big as york new? i never saw you before the fight, i’m sure of it! have you been stalking me since?”

~what! of course not! we just happen to be in the same area again at the same time id never stalk you… i heard someone call you by a name so i assumed it was your name.”

~he said it mildly suspiciously with it being crystal clear he had made up the excuse as he was speaking.

~you knew he had to be following you. no way this was all by chance. you dont even use your real name on documents!?

~“i dont believe you, besides i know youre lying. stop following me, i know you are. you breathe quite loudly to be honest.”

~he froze. how did you know? what would he do?

hisoka morow

—

~this is….bizarre to say the least.

~hisoka attracted to a random defense attorney?

~“don’t fucking talk to me, you know i don’t like you. get out of my sight. i dont desire to see trash like you this early on in the day.”

~(name) said coldly, not wanting to deal with any of hisoka’s shit today.

~maybe it was the authority in your voice? intelligence? how you looked? oh! or maybe how you carried yourself? who knows.

~not that you were complaining! it was just weird.

~exes suddenly all apologizing, or coming up as dead. almost as if they’d been threatened.

~“so mean (name)! why do you hate me so much hmmm? i’m sure you appreciate your exes saying sorry why be upset?”

~your eyes widened almost unnoticeably.

~all anyone knew about hisoka the magician was once he wanted something, he got it. no matter what he had to go through to get it.

~“how do you know about that hisoka?”

~random camera flashes, feeling like someone was watching, clothes disappearing, items in your apartment being in different places within hours. this is eerie, unnatural almost.

~“a magician never tells his secrets! you should know this best of all my dear (name).”

~you pause, looking back at hisoka in shock and fear. suddenly everything went to black. all that was left in your vision was hisoka standing over you.

illumi zoldyck

—

~how did one of the strongest members of the zoldyck family become so attached to a mere servant?

~maybe it started in your teen years when you were assigned off to protect illumi?

~nonetheless, being a zoldyck servant was nothing short of eventful.

~from the usual family fights to having to coordinate his outfits.

~“(name) does this look good on me?”

~“it does look good on you young master; do you believe it looks good on you too?”

~“hmm yeah i do. it reminds me of that coat you were looking at with canary.”

~you weren’t even together that day. it was your only day off this year.

~he had always stalked you. you knew it, you just couldnt do anything about it.

~i mean what are you gonna do? tell silva his son’s stalking you? he simply doesn’t care, why waste his time and have him get rid of you?

~defying illumi is like asking for death. you’d rather kill yourself then upset illumi.

~that fate (of defying him) was much worse then death, something his previous ‘caretakers’ knew well before their untimely deaths.

~you have many bigger issues in your life than his stalking and undergarment theft.

~until he does something and goes well, too far, there’s nothing you can do until then.

~not until he gets bored of you, can you do anything to free yourself from this life.

~the day he gets bored of you is the day that you’ll likely end it.

~a day you should look forward to as a zoldyck servant.

#hxh x reader #hxh headcanons #hunter x hunter x reader #hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter headcanons #chrollo lucifer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #hisoka morrow x reader #hisoka morow #illumi zoldyck #illumi zoldyck x reader #x reader #dark content

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xbabybajix · 2 years ago

Text

𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮’𝓼 𝓓𝓪𝔂 𝔀/ 𝓣𝓸𝓴𝔂𝓸 𝓡𝓮𝓿 𝓑𝓸𝔂𝓼~

A/n: per requested from you lovelies, hope everyone has a great V-Day and even if you don’t have a valentine I’LL BE YOUR VALENTINE >:) along w these boys! Pt. 2 will be uploaded tmrw! (this is f!reader btw) hope yall enjoy & pls excuse the typos n all

Hanma isn’t one for celebrating big on holidays. Though he will make the exception if it’s with you. And if you’re really big on valentine’s, Hanma will make sure that you get whatever you want! He’ll make sure that the night you spend is an unforgettable one! So he kinda hints to you that you’ll be doing something together that day. But Hanma himself isn’t sure, he kinda just wings it tbh bc he’s a “spur” in the moment kinda guy. Hanma comes to your doorstep with cute little necklaces that have rings w/ engravings in it that are either super cheesy or an inside joke yall have. Hanma takes you for a ride on his motorcycle and you both end up at a secluded area that’s got a nice view of hills or a lake. But on the way over, he had placed rose petal trails which then leads to a small picnic with a tent bc he wants to camp there with you that night.

Baji. Baji. Baji. He isn’t one who LOVES v-day, but he does look forward to the way your eyes light up whenever you both pass by all the cute decor, flowers, cards etc at stores. Baji never fails to give you the world on v-day. Though he does it on any other day, but on the 14th he makes sure to remind you that he loves you immensely in his own way. Valentine’s Day with Baji consists of a breakfast date, with him handing you a bouquet of (whatever your favorite thing is) along with a little shadow box he made with little photos and trinkets of things you did together. Baji likes to shower you extra with compliments and will not hesitate to be your personal photographer that day bc you look so cute dressed up all for him. You guys both alternate with activities so in the afternoon, you’ll spoil Baji a bit and take him shopping for some clothes that he’s been wanting for a while. After, you’ll share an ice cream and feed him bc he lowkey loves it when you pamper him. Baji enjoys your company out all the things you can do for him, so taking him to the movies or maybe even a fight club?? When he receives your gift, which is a cd with an album cover of you two that contains a playlist of songs you both like he is swooning! The night would end with you both taking a night walk somewhere and just cuddling up on a bench and maybe having a nice makeout session and listening to the cd together >:) Baji loves being covered in your lipstick!

MIKEY loves valentine’s day because of all the snacks and treats that come with it. He isn’t one to love the aesthetic of it but he’ll be happy if it’s something that involves pastries. And that’s what it’s alllllll about lmao. Every year you mix it up and like to surprise him with foreign pastries but also will handmake him some because you want it to have some meaning to it. And Mikey is a sucker for it. Especially if it comes out wonky. It makes his heart swell because he knows that you worked super hard on it and he’ll devour it and leave no crumbs. “That was so delicious love! You should make these again some day!” Mikey is extra sweet on V-day and is very clingly and will snuggle you and smother you with kisses. “I just love you so much baby, you’re the cutest I wish I could keep you in my pocket forever.” Mikey also loves giving you cheesy love cards (like the meme formatted ones) and will leave some hidden around the house. Maybe like a couple weeks before the actual day he’ll find time and hide them and will act clueless about them. “Oh I wonder who put that there... seems he really wants you to be his valentine haha...” Mikey sees how hard you work on the pastries you make him and he decides to return the favor by making you something too. So he goes to those stores where he picks out a stuffed animal and customizes it in a way that reminds him of you. (The way you dress, accessories, etc) and will have a little recorded message inside that is him reminding you that he loves you a ton!

Chifuyu is always a nervous wreck the first week and a half of Feb. And that’s because he always tries to make this valentine’s better than the last. And he’s very keen on making each one extraordinary because he believes that his princess deserves the entire universe and all the good it has to offer. He’s so romantic, it makes Baji and Kazutora gag a little bit, but they’re always willing to help him with his endeavors. Chifuyu likes to gift you small meaningful gifts but also loves to go along with traditional gifts too. He will definitely gift you one of his hoodies that you love wearing and will spray it with cologne. He also will write you love letters about your first date, kiss, sex, etc. And he waits until you’re together to read it to you and it’s so cute because he’s literally shaking and sweating and stuttering bc it’s you and you’re looking all cute there just looking at him with heart eyes and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Though after reassuring him with some kisses, Chifuyu is so happy to know that you loved every bit of his gifts. The day is spent with you going somewhere you haven’t been to and so yall decide to try rollerskating together! The entire time you’re both losing balance and falling over each other but it’s worth it because Chifuyu will always take the fall first so he’s your personal pillow <3 after you both start to get the hang of it, you’ll skate around while holding each others hands. Sometimes Chifuyu will glance at you and blush after realizing that you’ve been staring at his beautiful face first! Afterwards the night ends with you and him watching movies together with his mom because you both love her and want her to have a special valentines day too <3

#hanma x reader #baji x reader #mikey x reader #draken x reader #chifuyu x reader #ran x reader #sanzu x reader #wakasa x reader

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celestialmazer · 6 months ago

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Foo Fighters

Hampden Park, Glasgow 17.06.24

Certainly and expectedly the most emotional concert I've ever been to for so many reasons (crying/welling up well into the double digits throughout 😂)

Got spooky for me too the times Josh sounded like Taylor but was blocked by the crowd and my mind's eye was just filling in the blanks with memory 🫠🙃

Important notes:

(woke up with a really sore lower back for no reason the day before which hadn't eased, but tbh - standing for hours on end aside - my subdued movements matched the expected overall vibe of tentatively sombre initially meets let's go fucking mental when the mood takes us! Lots of first timers in the crowd too so a bubbling sense of the unknown pervaded ✨ surrounded by almost entirely good sorts including a wildcard wee lady who appeared out of nowhere when the music started, ready to thrash so hard her hair got my eyeball and mouth at one point 😂 the most polite vibe tall guy I've ever come across at a gig and the most hilariously polite off-their-nuts group excusing themselves to go to and from mosh pit area, one had a comedy large backpack which I reckon he needed as a travelling apothecary)

• Rami aced his intro again by playing Flower of Scotland - it's an easy win that is always going to work 😂 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

• At this performance Josh's t-shirt read

"God gave rock and roll to you Satan wants it back"

• And couldn't quite get a pic that captures it properly but Rami had a lil guy with a hat labelled executive potato I think 🤷😂🥔💗 (Very last image)

ICYMI - didn't notice this detail during the concert, found out after, but for a brief moment during My Hero the headlight of the big red delicious turned to projecting a hawk 🥲 - had one accidental photo of it which I've made more obvious. Proper video link from Foo Fighters live below

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8frGS0SCIy/?

Treated to a walkway performance of Skin and Bones (written in Scotland during a T in the Park turns out!), Under You (Dave still didn't quite manage through this time but keeps trying! 🥲) and Ballad of the Beaconsfield Miners!! (and he shared he only later discovered the trapped miners requested an iPod of Foo Fighters not cos they were big fans but cos they wanted something to drown out the drilling 🤣) (and we found the German man at the front of the queue got to! 😂🙌 Like a Euros exchange programme)

Violet Grohl came out for her tour debut to sing Show Me How, such a pretty voice 💜

Aurora dedicated to Taylor 🥹😭

Dave swigging some Buckfast - had no concept of what it was when a photo went viral a while back so became an accidental, begrudging spokesmodel - thinks it's actually not that bad 😂

The Teacher visuals were beautiful, emotional, psychedelic and felt like they crossed realms which... was a lot 🙃

Have literally never seen Nate look so buzzing as coming up for this bow 👏 🙌 the chill had set in so Pat got a hoodie on and was milking his exit 💗 thrown sticks and picks landed nearby, quickly snatched up but not by us

Sooo, we realised we practically filmed the whole concert between us - a great distraction attempt from crying 😂 so have put a playlist up for posterity... swithering about going through the digital camera archives and filing in the gaps in my upload history, but that's so far down the current to do list it's unreal (would've been unstoppable if I'd got a smartphone years ago at concerts, lol)

Supported by Honey Blood and Courtney Barnett

Tour: Everything or Nothing at All

Setlist

1. All My Life

2. No Son of Mine

(with snippets of "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath and "Enter Sandman" by Metallica)

3. Rescued

4. The Pretender

5. Walk

6. Times Like These

(Dave and Rami only into full band)

7. White Limo

8. La Dee Da

9. This Is a Call

10. Guitar Solo / Sabotage / Keyboard Solo / Flower of Scotland / Blitzkrieg Bop / Whip It / March of the Pigs

11. My Hero

(acoustic into full band)

12. The Sky Is a Neighborhood

13. Learn to Fly

14. Arlandria

15. These Days

16. Skin and Bones

(tour debut; acoustic with Rami on accordion)

17. Under You

(Dave solo acoustic)

18. Ballad of the Beaconsfield Miners

(acoustic into full band)

19. Nothing at All

(with a snippet of "Blackbird" by The Beatles)

20. Unconditional

21. Monkey Wrench

(with added audience “Here We Fucking Go” and “No Scotland No Party")

22. Show Me How

(with Violet Grohl) (tour debut)

23. Aurora

(dedicated to Taylor Hawkins)

24. Best of You

Encore:

25. The Teacher

26. Everlong

Oh and we got our pic in the paper as we were there and getting merch so early on the photographer asked us (his first fans of the day) and we were like ...😐 Why not 😂 (cue wind and sun)

https://www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/scottish-news/24393473.crowds-foo-fighters-fans-arriving-glasgows-hampden/

#foo fighters #dave grohl #taylor hawkins #chris shiflett #nate mendel #pat smear #rami jaffee #josh freese

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dolleminas · 2 years ago

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Hey

I'm a follower of yours but would rather remain anonymous because this is an extremely sensitive topic

I am in a relationship I am starting to think might be unsafe, but I constantly doubt myself and don't know if I'm blowing things out of proportion in my head.

I think I just need a clear cut answer from someone else about if the following things are as big of red flags as my gut says they are, and if so I really need advice on how to navigate leaving (we rent together and share finances)

- met a guy when we were teens in highschool, he was sweet, dorky, self identified as a feminist, was a good friend to me for a year or so and then asked me out. He was a really loving and gentle partner, I met his family, he really spoiled me romantically and we always had fun together. We dated consistently for a year and a half, and then started dating on and off "because we were busy"

- when we were dating on and off, (not officially exclusive at the time this incident happened, but I assumed we were because he called me his girlfriend and said he loved me) he had sex with a male friend of his multiple times and consistently sexted with him without my knowledge

- he sent this male friend nudes of mine as part of their sexting twice that I know of, and potentially more than twice, and in one situation nudes I know he asked me for the nude photos specifically for that purpose (when I read the texts between he and this guy a year or so later, the guy asked for pictures of certain body parts and me posed in a unique way, and I remembered my boyfriend requesting once that I send him nudes with those specifications, and thinking it was weird at the time because he had never asked for something that specific, or of that area of the body before)

- not too long after he broke that relationship off, but still 6+ months before I knew about it, he started hooking up with a girl and told her that he was essentially just using me for sex, but that I knew that he was seeing other people and was ok with it because I only wanted a sexual relationship too (I didn't know, and wouldn't have been having a sexual relationship if I knew those terms)

- when shit hit the fan and I found out about those messages because we shared social media passwords, I called him and told him my suspicions. He was extremely angry, extremely manipulative, and I tried to guilt trip me for having even signed into his social media (something we both agreed to doing), and said the pictures that were sent were just images from online (I couldn't technically see the photos because Instagram photo messages disappear after being viewed, but the descriptions and conversation very directly hinted and said that it was me- the conversation included very unique details of my body and personality that I know would not be easy to find online just scrolling, and things you wouldn't know about a random onlyfans girl or stranger)

- He later ended up calling and confessing, giving multiple excuses, telling sob stories about being overcome with guilt but never feeling like it was the right time to tell me, and then telling me he understood if I left, he understood if I turned him in, he felt like he deserved to be punished

- I left him but tried to keep our friendship on positive terms to hopefully get him to confess in writing, while talking to two friends of mine and getting advice on wether or not I could report him for what he did, but also because I still had feelings for him and was for some reason giving him the benefit of the doubt

- One friend ended up breaking my trust and confronting him about my plans to report, (not because she didn't want me to, but because she was angry at him and trying to defend me)

- He ended up completely blocking me out for a few weeks

- I was devastated and felt exposed and everything that was happening was triggering my PTSD. I felt like I was relieving my previous sexual traumas.

- for some reason, call it love or teenage stupidity, I ended up talking to him again when he decided to stop being angry at me. Then a few months later decided to start dating him again. Looking back I really don't know why. In my mind, this incident had been a blip in what was otherwise a fantastic and steady relationship, and this didn't fit with my perception of him as a kind, funny, caring person- so instead of recognizing that he wasn't, I opted to essentially pretend it never happened.

- things ramped up quickly, we moved in after another year together, started sharing finances, he helped me through a medical scare, and held me through recovery when I was assaulted by a dad I was nannying for. He did the majority of the housework and work work, I mostly just focused on odd jobs and college. I put things behind me but always set clear boundaries. No porn use. No bdsm language in the bedroom. No cheating. No repeat incidents like that. I wouldn't send him full nudes or anything with my face or tattoos in it, and he couldn't screenshot even if I did. He would respect my sexual boundaries and never push for more than I was initiating.

- We decided to have kids. Please no judgement here. I know now that that was a stupid and immature call. With my health issues I was scared I would lose my ovaries eventually, possibly even uterus, and my emotions about desperately wanting to be a mother got the better of me

- while I was pregnant with our first the boundaries started to slip. Jokes about bdsm language. More unbalanced dynamics during sex, and more expectation that I was ok with being submissive. Constant "joking" nagging about how infrequent/vanilla the sex was. Then eventually pressure to try new positions, new scenarios, to try oral sex again in spite of my sexual trauma with it, to try anal sex. All of which eventually happened. Then the bdsm speak in the bedroom took off, and gone was the gentle loving sex with eye contact and mutual pleasure, he was pushing my head, and talking about me "letting him use my body for his pleasure", calling me submissive, generally using a weird tone and introducing a dynamic where if he asked something I was expected to just do it. I started consenting to sex even when I didn't want to because his moods were worse on the days when we didn't, and I didn't want to hear about how boring and prude I was.

- Baby arrived. Our romantic relationship seemed completely back to normal. My sex drive was back and sex was good when I was the one initiating it, and I felt like I had more say again. We were generally happy for months. He is a great dad, he cooks and cleans more than I do, he's more patient than me, he gets down and plays with our kids when I don't or can't, and always seems to have more energy than me.

- got pregnant again, normalcy started to fade and once again felt like I lost control sexually

-had second baby- family life going great, again, things romantically were doing well, but the sex was still very unbalanced and uncomfortable, and now was expected to almost exclusively be anal or deep throating, with a lot of ass smacking and condescending language. He started using new words constantly, always wanting to try new things, and started referencing porn in jokes really often.

- I got suspicious he was watching it and asked flat out. He said no but seemed off. Asked again and he admitted he was, but said he didn't think I would care or have a problem with it, because he only watched it alone and it never impacted our sex life- rather filled a void when we weren't haven't sex. He insisted only the most vanilla content, and for some reason fixated on insisting that it was milf content and only of women with my body type. That he was using ethical sites and it was all people who were consenting and happy to be in that business. He also offhandedly said a lot of it was coming directly from people who were "self publishing" the content (never found out what that was a reference to since he insisted it wasn't onlyfans or a dating site, but I'm guessing either it was one of those and I just didn't find out, or that it was NSFW subreddits)

- I told him I was uncomfortable and wanted him to stop if he wanted a relationship with me. He said he already had and could go on that way, he just wanted me to be comfortable. I asked him to promise it wasn't anything I'd be uncomfortable with and I very specifically listed- potentially underage content, rape or rape play, sleep, beastiality, outright pedophilia, anything where the person was clearly drugged or drunk. He assured me he wasn't watching any of that.

- the next day he backtracked and was mad at me. He said he had a problem and an addiction, but that I was treating him "like a monster" and that it was unfair for me to ask because I should know he wasn't watching anything unsavory. He said he always wanted to tell me but was scared of being judged, and it never felt like the right time, and now I was confirming his fear of judgement for being sad/angry/uncomfortable.

- I decide since we have each other's phone pins and he's previously made it clear I can use his phone to do a brief check, keyword search terms I'd be uncomfortable with in his browser history. Immediately things come up in his recent history, but also going back as far as before I was pregnant with our first child. Constant porn use, rape porn, "barely legal", Sleep porn, anal rape, violent sex, sub/dom dynamics, deepthroat rape, crying, vomiting, almost all on Pornhub or from subreddits bragging about their "nonconsent" collections.

- I confronted him again. He lied multiple times. I told him I was suspicious, and asked if he'd be comfortable showing me his history. He said he would later, at home, and that he had no problem because he had nothing to hide. If I hadn't previously seen it, with how convincing he was being and the way he was shifting the tone, that would've completely disarmed me and I never would've looked. I told him I knew, and I was aware what content and the whole tone changed. Of course he's watching barely legal! He's in his early twenties, why would I expect him to watch "older ladies". The rape porn isn't "real rape" it's just CNC. The crying and vomiting during oral content are because he's insecure about his penis size and was using that for validation. The sleeping and drugged content is clearly staged, and also he was just testing it out and he didn't end up liking it (multiple searches over months of time, I call bullshit). I tell him that it's all wrong and disgusting. That it is a betrayal of my trust and the promises he made me. That the lying and gaslighting about it was a betrayal. That the content is extremely triggering for me because a lot of the videos were almost exactly things that had happened to me while I was sexually abused in the past, that he knew had impacted me deeply. That I was angry at him for even watching porn in the first place because I am so vocal about the issues in the industry. That I was disgusted that he had been bringing those ideas and that language and those positions into our actual sex life without my knowledge of their sources.

- He apologized over and over and over and over and again I eventually just decided to put it behind me. Told him I wouldn't have sex with him till he stopped watching porn, and I had recovered from the stress and trauma of that incident. He promised to go to sex addict meetings, to restart therapy, and to go to couples therapy.

- All that lasted about two weeks. Then we were back to having sex, and he never ended up doing the therapy or the meetings.

- I put it all out of mind and focused on the good in our relationship. We have fun. We parent together well. We laugh together, a lot. Dates are still nice. I'm just wary and exhausted. But I'm a stay at home mom. We have kids. We're low income already, and our finances are completely tied together. We never got married so assets wouldn't even necessarily be split fairly. I'm terrified of what a custody battle would look like because he has everything in his favor. He has an income and a degree. He has family living nearby who can babysit any time, and help with anything. He could easily move in with them for financial and childcare support. He's got a good reputation, no mental health issues, my family loves him. I'm a highschool graduate turned stay at home parent, and a college dropout. My family and I don't have a great relationship, and the sister I do get along with is four hours away and lives in a studio apartment. I have a history of psych hospitalization. I have PTSD. I delt with postpartum depression and anxiety after both pregnancies, and am on multiple meds and in weekly therapy. I have one friend. I have almost nobody who would vouch for my parenting skills, because his family would always side with him, and my only friend is a grad student who I see once a month at most. I am an impatient person, I am messy, I was out of commission for a few weeks after each baby was born and he and his mom took over childcare until I recovered physically and until I could get treatment for my postpartum anxiety. I am a good mom and I am with the kids almost all the time, and I am confident in my motherhood, but I know how I would look to anyone on the outside, especially since I know I can't prove what has happened between the two of us in the privacy of our bedroom, and the nudes incident was long enough ago that the statue of limitations has passed AND he could easily claim that either I must have been ok with it because I stayed for years after, or that he was just a dumb teen at the time.

I am just so at a loss for what to do. Things are so normal right now, and this relationship is my source of stability emotionally, as well as the source of my kids emotional and financial stability. I am happy now and everything seems to be improving, we get along better than we did when the kids were tiny, I just can't let go of the nagging feeling that something very wrong happened to me that I never got proper justice for. He apologizes constantly. He always asked for consent for everything. He soothes me when the emotions about it come up. I feel like I've genuinely forgiven him to an extent, I just don't know if that's because I should and this is something we can move past since it's been 7ish months since that incident and our relationship is really smooth, or if it's something I'm fucking up by forgiving. And if I am I have no idea how to get out, or if I would even want to make that sacrifice just to be away from the person who hurt me.

- w

Anyone who has recourses for a woman to leave her boyfriend and give her custody of her children, please REPLY to this post with resources or reblog! Tyvm.

TW: sick male behaviour (porn use, cheating, kink)

Hi, W. This is the second time I'm trying to answer you because my pc crapped out on me the first time and lost what I wrote (yes I could've screamed). Here is my second attempt.

I said previously that I understand wanting to remain anonymous, so no problem. And I also understand doubting yourself. We women are always expected to second-guess ourselves, we’re not believed, brushed off, etc, etc. Eventually we just end up gaslighting ourselves. As someone who always ignored her gut, I can confidently say—listen to yourself. Nine out of ten times my feelings were right. And I only suffered for ignoring it.

Our bodies know. When you think about this, you will know it to be true.

Having read a little bit of your post I can also confidently say; kill him. Or leave him. Previously I said I take less shit from men because I have no tolerance for them due to being gay, but genuinely… leave him. I assume things will get worse in your situation, but I’ve only read the cheating part at this point. And I say; kick his ass.

met a guy when we were teens in highschool, he was sweet, dorky, self identified as a feminist, was a good friend to me for a year or so and then asked me out.

This might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but I absolutely do not trust self-identified male feminists. When I hear a man say he’s a feminist I am immediately on my guard. You probably already know this since you’re a follower of mine, but this is a radical feminism blog, and we live in a patriarchy. Men benefit from that no matter their race, sexuality, financial status, health, and political views. And even if they disagree with most of it, there will still be subconscious things they do or think that will reflect their patriarchal views. For a man to be a true feminist ally, he will need to agree with taking a lot of power away from himself. And I don’t trust men to be alright with that.

Secondly, your romantic relationship might have developed from friendship naturally, which can happen, but I also do know a lot of men who pretend to want friendship from women, while in truth they just want sex or a romantic relationship. I don’t like that. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but I find that sort of dishonesty a red flag.

when we were dating on and off, he had sex with a male friend of his multiple times and consistently sexted with him without my knowledge

he sent this male friend nudes of mine as part of their sexting twice that I know of

and in one situation nudes I know he asked me for the nude photos specifically for that purpose

I'm sorry, but at this stage I'm already at 'dump his ass' opinion. Cheating is wrong, as everyone with enough braincells can tell you, but sending your nudes??? That is a breach of privacy, that is a lack of respect... see, this is why I spit on male feminists. Because sending your nudes (and I apologise for coming across really blunt here) means he does not see you as a person who deserves any sort of privacy, bodily autonomy, or the right to say no. Not only that, but by sending YOUR nudes he clearly saw you as a belonging to flaunt around. And even a male feminist (if one wants to argue they exist) would abhor the mere idea of seeing a woman as an object. Girl... like, I am so sorry. He pimped you out. I'm horrified for you.

he started hooking up with a girl and told her that he was essentially just using me for sex

He was extremely angry, extremely manipulative, and I tried to guilt trip me for having even signed into his social media (something we both agreed to doing), and said the pictures that were sent were just images from online

So he cheated on you again. And then he had the audacity to lie about it? I feel the misandry in me rising to new heights right as I type this. There is this saying; when someone tells you who they are, believe them. What he said to that girl? The he used you for sex? Either he meant it, or he wanted to impress her. Men often want to to impress other men. And you know how they do that? By flaunting their wealth, their objects--aka, women. Aka, you. The anger and manipulation is just the icing on the cake.

He later ended up calling and confessing, giving multiple excuses, telling sob stories about being overcome with guilt but never feeling like it was the right time to tell me, and then telling me he understood if I left, he understood if I turned him in, he felt like he deserved to be punished

I'll be honest to you here, alright? Men are smart. I know many-a girl and woman who preaches to the choir so to speak, sending walls upon walls of texts explaining to a man or boy why they hurt her... but I'll tell you a secret.

They know.

I want everyone woman who reads this to understand this; THEY. KNOW. They know they hurt you. They know what they did was wrong. So you mentally exhausting yourself explaining it? Don't do it. Don't bother. They know.

Men are master manipulators. When anger doesn't work, they turn to sniveling. They prey on your sympathy.

he felt like he deserved to be punished

This right here? This is trying to get your sympathy, so you feel bad for him, so you comfort HIM. I can't tell you how often I see men do this, and it's all an act.

He ended up completely blocking me out for a few weeks

This right here tells me that what he said to you before, about deserving to be punished is bullshit, because if he truly felt that way he would have admitted it right then. He did it over voicecall because he knew you wouldn't have proof. He tried to manipulate you even then.

for some reason, call it love or teenage stupidity, I ended up talking to him again when he decided to stop being angry at me. Then a few months later decided to start dating him again. Looking back I really don't know why. In my mind, this incident had been a blip in what was otherwise a fantastic and steady relationship, and this didn't fit with my perception of him as a kind, funny, caring person- so instead of recognizing that he wasn't, I opted to essentially pretend it never happened.

I call this female socialisation if you don't mind. I have been in your place, many times. And I'm sure plenty of other women have too. This entire, kind funny caring etc. thing is in my opinion not true. We fabricate a reality--an alter, if you will. In truth, the man is nothing how you see him as. He portrays himself in a certain way, but it's all a lie. And I don't fault you for wanting to believe it.

things ramped up quickly, we moved in after another year together

See this here? Again, a year. After a year he asked you out. Another year, and you moved in together. Some people might call me suspicious, paranoid, or a tinfoil, but time and time again I see men settling down with a women so quick... and I am left to wonder why.

We decided to have kids. Please no judgement here. I know now that that was a stupid and immature call.

I have no judgment whatsoever for you, W. Wanting children is not stupid or immature and anyone who thinks so can fuck right off, pardon my french. I have the most respect for mothers.

while I was pregnant with our first the boundaries started to slip.

I started consenting to sex even when I didn't want to because his moods were worse on the days when we didn't,

This is the thing about boundaries with men for me. Again, of course he knew that it was wrong. But I'm probably correct when I say he didn't do it immediately, right? He did it in small steps. And he did it while you were pregnant. Some people might think, oh but why during pregnancy??

I'll tell you. Because you were carrying his kid. Men know that the moment children are in the picture, it's over. He figured he could control you again. After all, you really wanted children, didn't you? You would do everything for them, wouldn't you? Because you're a good mother. You'd never let anything happen to them.

He controls you through your babies. Now you can no longer leave. Once he thought that, his good funny kind etc loving partner fascade started to slip. He stopped pretending.

but the sex was still very unbalanced and uncomfortable, and now was expected to almost exclusively be anal or deep throating, with a lot of ass smacking and condescending language. He started using new words constantly, always wanting to try new things, and started referencing porn in jokes really often.

I got suspicious he was watching it and asked flat out. He said no but seemed off. Asked again and he admitted he was

He insisted only the most vanilla content, and for some reason fixated on insisting that it was milf content and only of women with my body type. That he was using ethical sites and it was all people who were consenting and happy to be in that business.

I could talk in depth about how porn rots the brain and how it warps people's view of women, but I think I'll just highlight this. Especially the last part about 'ethical sites' is really telling and why I don't trust male feminists.

I asked him to promise it wasn't anything I'd be uncomfortable with and I very specifically listed- potentially underage content, rape or rape play, sleep, beastiality, outright pedophilia, anything where the person was clearly drugged or drunk. He assured me he wasn't watching any of that.

I assume that was a lie.

He said he had a problem and an addiction, but that I was treating him "like a monster"

He is. Next.

He said he always wanted to tell me but was scared of being judged, and it never felt like the right time, and now I was confirming his fear of judgement for being sad/angry/uncomfortable.

Honestly, this sounds eerily similar to what he told you when he cheated. He's also guilt-tripping you, trying to make you comfort him by acting like you hurt his feelings. What a baby.

I decide since we have each other's phone pins and he's previously made it clear I can use his phone to do a brief check, keyword search terms I'd be uncomfortable with in his browser history. Immediately things come up in his recent history, but also going back as far as before I was pregnant with our first child.

I'm not copying all the searches you found, but I'm so sorry you had to find that, W. I had to take a break after reading that, it's that bad, so if you were doubting yourself... that is horrifying. And as a mother, I'm sure that must have scared you as well.

I confronted him again. He lied multiple times.

He is disgusting. Absolutely revolting. I just don't know what to say. I could just copy-paste this entire paragraph and find something to talk about in each sentence, because from top to bottom this is disturbing. Lying, again. Then his true colours show. More lying! And CNC not being 'real' is bullshit, and he probably knows it too. Especially since you talked about the industry, I presume?

He's just making excuses after excuses. I don't want to upset you, but at this point I wonder if he doesn't watch those videos imagining it's you. Also, that he is able to get off on pretend rape is horrifying as well. He gets off at imagining someone getting raped. There have been studies done, showing how men just can't distinguish CNC from the real deal anymore... that is terrifying.

He promised to go to sex addict meetings, to restart therapy, and to go to couples therapy.

All that lasted about two weeks. Then we were back to having sex, and he never ended up doing the therapy or the meetings.

And here is the thing about men; they know that once they cross your boundaries once and you stay with them, they can do it again. They cry and sob and wail at your feet, promising they'll change... but the moment they are forgiven, they just revert back.

I have seen it time and time again. They promise you everything, but they just keep it up long enough until they can start this cycle over again. You'll forgive him again. He'll revert. You'll be stuck in this never-ending loop of your heart being broken until you are numb.

I put it all out of mind and focused on the good in our relationship.

I genuinely think you do this to cope. And I don't blame you.

I am an impatient person, I am messy, I was out of commission for a few weeks after each baby was born and he and his mom took over childcare until I recovered physically and until I could get treatment for my postpartum anxiety.

I do want to stress this. I don't know what country you're from, but are you kidding??? You gave birth, woman. Cut yourself some slack for creating literal life like a god. Where I'm from it's common for a maternity nurse to take care of you AND your body after you give birth.

I am just so at a loss for what to do.

Listen to me, alright. I think you know what you need to do, or want to do, because if you didn't you wouldn't have admitted all this to me, which I think is brave and admirable.

Your children deserve a father who loves their mother and treats her right. And I'm sorry, but I don't think he does the former, and he sure as hell does not do the latter. It might not seem like this, but children are able to pick up on tension like that. Children are very smart.

Are you happy? Genuinely? And don't scoff but really look deeply within yourself and ask. Because I'm sure you're not. If you were, you would be able to put this behind you.

I just can't let go of the nagging feeling that something very wrong happened to me that I never got proper justice for.

Because it did.

He apologizes constantly. He always asked for consent for everything. He soothes me when the emotions about it come up.

He's a piece of shit and he knows it.

I just don't know if that's because I should and this is something we can move past since it's been 7ish months since that incident and our relationship is really smooth, or if it's something I'm fucking up by forgiving.

And how much more of these incidents can you take, do you think? Do you think he'll never do it again? Do you trust him to respect you now? A relationship is nothing without trust. Do you trust him?

And if I am I have no idea how to get out, or if I would even want to make that sacrifice just to be away from the person who hurt me.

You deserve to be safe. You deserve to heal. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel cherished. That is not a sacrifice. That is putting you first.

TL;DR

He is a rotten, disgusting, porn-sick man and you are 100% in the right for wanting to leave him. I know my answer is very long, but I wanted to reply to some points specifically since they jumped out to me. And I also want you to feel heard.

Now... you said you came to me for advice so I'll try my very best. There are a few points I want to go over.

Your family likes him, but do they know what he did? And if you told them, would they still like him?

How old are your children? You mention they're older, but that you still fear for a custody battle. If they are in their teens maybe you could wait it out till they are no longer minors, though I know this is not at all an ideal outcome.

Can you talk to him about going back to work? Since you two are low-income, he could actually be in favour. Then maybe you could secure your own income somehow? Keep a little bit secret so you have emergency money. Then you will have means to support you and your children. And now we're on that topic, how likely is it that you can go get your own degree?

I assume you're American?

Could you move closer to a support network? And if not, could you maybe try to make friends who would have your back?

Can you reach out to an ORG or something that helps women like you? Radical feminism groups in real life, etc?

I admittedly know very little about how the court favours men, and especially not if you are American or just... not Dutch. I do understand your fear about the court taking your babies away, and I do wonder whether he'll try to poison them against you.

So this is where I ask other Radfems to come in. Anyone who knows anything, has recourses or their own experience... please react to this post, send me an anon ask, or send me a DM!

I will try to scour my blog for resources and reblog this if I find anything, and please, I know I'm just a person behind a blog, but if you need a friend, W, do DM me. I might not be able to do too much, but I'll do my best and I think you could benefit from having a friendly voice.

#radfem #radical feminism #radblr #radfem safe #radfems do touch #anon asks #radical feminist #radfems do interact #terfblr #honey answers

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aajjks · 1 year ago

Note

TPOL!JK

a tattoo of his initials and a crown sounds cute. you already have a crescent moon tattoo behind your left ear by your H.A. but it’s pretty small. you’re excited to get your second tattoo especially when it’s dedicated to your fiancé and once he finishes describing the details of your tattoo and finally get an idea on what you want his tattoo to be and where. “i finally got an idea!” you cheer “but i want to share it with the artist. i don’t want him to find out” and now jungkook is definitely curious as to what you’re gonna have tatted on his body.

“just sit right here and i’ll get an artist for you, okay?” says the receptionist and the two of you do as she says but luckily the wait isn’t too long. within the next 5-8 minutes you both are in a room and you are the first who gets their tattoo.

“i’m nervous” you whine but both your fiancé and the tattoo artist reassures you that you’ll be alright. the artist cleans his needle and once jungkook shares the idea of your tattoo, he makes it come to life.

the crown is detailed beautifully, small yet visible and the pain is definitely a 8 out of ten so throughout the process, you’re squeezing tightly on jungkook’s hand and wincing. “don’t worry, i’m almost done” he says and for the next four hours, he finishes the tattoo on your neck.

you immediately run to the mirror to take a look and you’re immediately in love with how it turned out and so is jungkook. you’re sure he’s gonna be kissing all over you when it heals. you can’t believe you really got his initials on your neck in permanent ink but you kind of like it.

(here’s her tattoo: https://bodyartguru.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Tiny-Crown-Tattoo-Design-on-Rear-Temporal-Bone.jpg)

it’s jungkook’s turn now and you whisper in the man’s ear on what and how you want the tattoo to look like. “can you put it in this blank space right here on his forearm?” you say and the artists takes a moment to think before he nods his head and says he can make it work.

“i can put it here on his wrist. he’s got enough space right here to fit it”

“ouu! yes! yes! do that. jungkook, you’re gonna love it!”

the artist cleans his needle and gets to work on the idea you gave him. jungkook is clueless on what you’re gonna have tatted on him but he trusts you. the process is pretty long, the sketching, tracing, shading. it takes awhile for him to finish it up but after 6 to 7 long hours, the tattoo is finished and jungkook is in complete awe of how well it turned out.

it’s your favorite movie but instead of it being rapunzel and eugene in the boat, rapunzel is shaped to be you and eugene is shaped to be him. the words in cursive read: all at once, everything is different. now that i see you.

(here’s his tattoo: https://www.instagram.com/p/CVZ3GAKKYry/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)

“what do you think? do you like it?”

(so y/n’s tattoo is the crown, heart, and his initials on the bottom. it’s still a little small. JK’s looks exactly like that on his right arm with his sleeve but like…around his wrist area? there is a blank space on his right arm so i thought the tattoo would fit there. instead of the lyrics in the photo is says the ones stated above. hopefully you like em!! 😁)

To be really honest? He is in awe. He loves the tattoo so much because it is so painfully you. Whenever he will look at it, he will just remember you.

It’s perfect, and worth every bit of the pain he had to endure in the seven hours, “yn this tattoo is my most favorite tattoo on my body I think.” And that is the truth because he has a lot of tattoos on his body with this one is the most special one for him.

Jungkook looks at you as the tattoo artist excuses himself so you could have a little privacy, he pulls you in for a deep kiss. And then he Gives you a huge smile. “ I never thought that I would have a scene from Rapunzel tattooed on my body… it’s absolutely perfect.” And the favorite thing about his tattoo is the quote and the way Eugene and Rapunzel are representing him and you.

It just makes him really happy to see you, squealing and jumping up and down from happiness like this and it makes him think that he could get a 1000 tattoos like this just to see you react this way.

Both of you have done a fantastic job with your tattoos, even though his was a little simpler, but he always wanted his initials on your body.

“Should we leave? And have dinner somewhere? Or Would you like some takeout so we can just go home straight away after picking up jaemin?” Jungkook says after your you’re both at the checkout doing the payment.

It’s almost midnight. It’s gotten a little chilly. But the weather just feels so romantic tonight. “This is the best experience of my life..” he whispers to himself as you both get in the car after exiting the tattoo parlor.

And you offered to this time because he just got a tattoo on his arm, so he lets you. “So… when should we hold the engagement announcement party?!” He asks you and it almost distracts him because you look so hot all focused on the road ahead of you.

“we can invite everyone I mean everyone, and then you can start shopping for the wedding.” He hopes that you know what or who he means by everyone.

He’s talking about namjoon.

#The tattoos are absolutely gorgeous. The Rapunzel one is so cute.#Like I could’ve never came up with that because I’m not that romantic at all.. honestly both of the tattoos are really beautiful #I love the Rapunzel one a lot #ask: tpol!jungkook

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squeemcsquee · 1 year ago

Text

Otakon 2023: Day 2 (Sat)

Saturday, I started my morning with a Digimon panel - I don't get to go to these too often at cons, since Pokemon tends to be people's greater focus. Digimon is NOT a Ripoff: The Crazy Story of the Franchise was very informative. I honestly didn't know that both Pokemon and Digimon share some characteristics with the Megami Tensei franchise.

I am ashamed to admit that a lot of my knowledge of Digimon is too rusty to attempt to play a trivia game. The host was offering up different Digimon prizes, from trading cards to actual vpets. And he got a far longer line of competitors that I believe he thought he would get.

Next on my agenda was Idols Through the Ages. It wasn't a bad panel, but I was disappointed by the lack of engagement from the panelist. He mostly just read straight from the slides. But I did still learn more on the background of idol culture and the idol industry, so I still was happy with the panel overall.

After that, I met with @lechevaliermalfet, and O. to grab an early lunch. It was at this time that I realized that Otakon needs to work a smidge on their communication with their attendees.

See, @lechevaliermalfet and I were prepared to rely mainly on our cards for payment for the weekend - we were far, far away from any ATMs for our local credit union, after all, and everyone knows that con ATMs can run out of $$ quickly. We didn't want to be stranded in DC trying to find more cash at the last second.

So this announcement didn't really impact us. But it was still strange for Otakon to drop this little nugget on Saturday morning, instead of, perhaps, Thursday before the con.

I wasn't the only one who felt this way - there were plenty of complaints on the FB announcement made throughout the weekend. Justified complaints, I would say.

This was also the point where I once again wished Otakon had a Dining Guide section in their Guidebook, even if just for the food vendors within the con center itself - knowing when things opened and what their general price range was, as well as their cashless status, would've been a great resource for attendees. Just my take on it.

Btw, during the whole con, finding a table to sit at with our food was a struggle - with as many people as Otakon brings in, there never really seems to be a downtime for the con center food vendors until just before they close. So tables where you can easily eat are in high demand.

After lunch, we met up with R. and R.'s girlfriend briefly, then made our way to the Dealers Hall again. The BlerdCon booth had a dance party going, and I heard both the Macarena and the Cha Cha Slide. We observed the party for a couple minutes, because, well, duh. It's a dance party at a con - that energetic vibe can be hard to resist.

We also learned that the Mandalorian Mercs were on site, with a creative photo op area as part of their recruitment setup. No, we did not go take advantage, I'm sorry to say.

After the Dealers Hall, I headed to Animation Cels at Work: The Life and Death of Cel Animation in Japan. This one ran right up to the very last second of panel time and was very informative. The panelist not only traced the history of cel animation but also took some time to cover the current collectors' market for cels, explaining why certain cels are valued more than others.

I spent some time people watching and just sort of seeking a brief quiet space in the con after that. Wandering a con with friends is great, but I do strongly recommend learning how to navigate solo, for when nothing in the guide grabs you and you don't feel like spending money in the Dealers Hall or Artist Alley.

Some of this time was spent on Pokemon Go, because the area was great for Pokestops and actually getting to participate in gym battles. Please excuse that the screenshot is actually from earlier in the day. Really, it can be assumed that I'm playing Pokemon Go at any con, because cons are among the few times I'm around enough people to make battling gyms worthwhile.

I ended up in the Otamuseum, which was a small room dedicated to showing off some of the relics and factoids of Otakon's history. Since my one and only other Otakon was 2012, I definitely snapped photos of anything relating to that year.

I knew 2012's attendance had been comparable to the numbers I was familiar with from ACen, but I was still surprised to learn there were so many attendees that year. Honestly, I'd felt like there were more -but that's because the Baltimore venue was clearly becoming too small for the con at that time.

I once again met up with @lechevaliermalfet and O. for an early dinner before O. had to leave the con for the day. We spent part of dinner discussing another note that Otakon had made for attendees, via the Guidebook app.

My understanding is that this aggressive defense of the Saturday Dealers Hall hours are in response to a handful of complaints each year from attendees that could swear the hours had changed. And I'm sure that's frustrating for staff to experience. But this just came off as hostile when I read it.

After dinner, we parted ways with O., and headed down to Artist Alley. We got a few prints but my real prize for the night was a strange plushie.

He was labeled as being unloved and how could I say no for $10? I love weird, cute things.

After shopping, it was time for @shoujorockheaven - this focuses on girl rock bands in Japan and it's run by the same team as @awesomelybadjmusicvideos . It's honestly a great way to discover some new groups to listen to.

After the panel, despite still wanting that con vibe, we had to admit we were wiped. So that ended up being our last event for Saturday.

All Otakon 2023 Coverage

Otakon 2023 Day 0 (Thurs) and Day 1 (Friday)

Otakon 2023 Friday cosplay

Otakon 2023 Day 2 (Sat) - current post

Otakon 2023 Saturday cosplay

Otakon 2023 Day 3 (Sun)

Otakon 2023 Sunday cosplay

#otakon #otakon 2023 #con review #con report #prose and cons

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sweetmusingss · 6 months ago

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Oscar grinned at you, feeling his heart race in his chest. He was happy that he had done so well and picked something the two of you could both enjoy. He squeezed your hand gently, keeping your fingers intertwined as the two of you walked through the exhibit together. “I think you have more of an appreciation and education for art than I do but I would love for you to teach me. I want you to share the things you love and the things you enjoy with me,” he said, staring at you with a soft gaze. There were practically hearts in his eyes as he looked at you and watched you taking it all in. The two of you had been friends for so long so of course he knew about the things you enjoyed. But it meant even more to him to be able to take part in your interests and hobbies with you. He wanted the two of you to be able to share everything. He didn’t even feel like himself in his last relationship but he knew he could be one thousand percent himself with you.

We walk around the exhibit for a while, me explaining some pieces to him, taking tons of photos since I really did like art. I wasn’t smart enough to fully appreciate it, but for once it was nice to be the one explaining things to Oscar and not the other way around. I was walking back to Oscar after using the restroom when we were towards the end of the exhibit, noticing two girls standing by Oscar and staring at him, whispering to one another, and he was completely oblivious. I smile to myself, loving that Oscar didn’t go looking for other girls. He was never aware when girls were checking him out. Every time I’d leave Charles’ side, I’d come back to him being pressed up against some girl. It was such a relief to find Oscar right where I left him, studying a piece of art and not the two attractive girls who were ogling him. I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his middle and resting my head on his shoulder, kissing his cheek. “I love you. This has been the best day of my life so far.”

I continued to drink and chat with Lando and Oscar, just watching with amusement every time the two of them would bicker like they were brothers. I was starting to get a little tipsy now and I was missing you even though my eyes kept finding yours every now and then. I had wanted to give you your space and let everyone congratulate you, knowing I had all the time in the world with you for the next several days. I was about to make my way over to you before Pierre was blocking my way. I smile politely at him, too drunk to even realize how close he was standing to me. I thank him awkwardly when he said that he had always had a crush on me, unaware that he had been begging Charles to set him up with me for a bit. I tried to find you over his shoulder but he was tall and things were a little crowded. “I’m just looking for my boyfriend,” I say to him right at the moment that you walked up.

Pierre furrowed his brow a bit when you mention boyfriend, Charles not having told him that you had a boyfriend. “Boyfriend? Someone already snatched you up that quick before I could even shoot my shot? Quelle déception!” He chuckles, not moving out of your way, being a bit too drunk to fully comprehend. Plus, girls always lied and said ‘boyfriend’ when it was just their friend, assuming you were doing that.

Max was talking to Charles and Carlos about their double DNF, glancing over to where you just were since he had been checking on you every couple of minutes, his brows furrowing when you weren’t there. His eyes roam across the entire VIP area, seeing just the top of your head from behind Pierre, his blood boiling as he realizes that Pierre was blocking your way. He doesn’t even excuse himself from the conversation, just walking away and hearing Charles make a comment about ‘Mad Max’ and choosing to ignore it. He puffs himself up to be even taller when he stands behind Pierre, “Funny, I was just going to say the same thing about you. Quite a disappointment today in that race, Gasly. I see you’ve met my girlfriend.” Max walks around Pierre, like a lion stalking its prey, glaring down at the younger man before wrapping an arm around your waist.

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vs-redemption · 1 year ago

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Hajime’s brows furrow a little and he shakes his head about your worries*

“Cindy, it’s never annoying when you sent me pictures of the meals you’ve made. I always look forward to them and they always get me hungry! Sharing photos of our meals or what we came across randomly or even voice notes about our day was what I looked forward to each day. I like exchanging stuff like that but haha excuse me that I haven’t sent much of my own. Work’s had me busy last week so I’ve been eating out most nights. Makes me appreciate your bento more. Home cooked meals always hits the spot here and here,”

*He pats his tummy then his heart with a grin and a wink. He basks in the spring sun and cool breeze while you two finishes up lunch. His heart is still thumping around in his chest from nerves and giddiness; he wonders if it’s noticeable while he lounges and listens to you. You take him by surprise when you say that you don’t mind working for how he’ll spoil you, his eyes going a bit wide and blinks before smirking*

“Oh? I like that. Something tells me you’re gonna have me on my toes here and there. Letting you know right now, darlin’, you can make me work for it too,”

“We have the blanket if it does buuuut it is a bit small. So, we do have to cuddle close. Plus, sharing body heat is always a good way to keep warm. And an easy way to sneak a kiss on the cheek or two”

*He helps you clean up after all the lunch has been eaten and even wipes down the area. Hajime admires you for a moment when you stand, letting himself burn into his memory of the sun’s rays being your halo while sakura flutter about you. He wishes he could take a picture to preserve this stunning image for you but he didn’t wanna put you in an awkward spot. He gives you a tender smile and nod when you offer a hand, taking it tenderly while he lets you help him stand. Once up, he gets a little playful and twirls you away from him with a little laugh then has you spin back to him; his other hand finding your free one when you face him again. Hajime’s eyes sparkle with affection and playfulness; you can see that he’s earnest to explore with you*

“Ready to explore, sweetheart”

(yaho my dear! i hope you had a good holiday weekend. just wanna say i appreciate you ^w^ hope your work week goes well!)

*I feel so relieved when he reassures me that he'd enjoyed the pictures I'd sent. To be honest, I'd felt so shy the first time he'd sent me a voice note. I'd never gotten those from anyone before, so I'd been a blushing mess hearing his voice come out of my phone. I was slowly getting used to it though, and even getting brave enough to send a few of my own back. The phone calls and voice notes had helped me feel closer to him.* No worries. I get it. Most nights I'm too exhausted to cook too. That's why I've been trying to meal plan more on the weekends to save myself the temptation of eating out. But hearing that you haven't had many home cooked meals lately has me even more excited to cook for you next time.

*My cheeks feel warm when he touches his heart and winks at me. A part of me ached to offer to meal plan with him or even for him. It would make me happy to give him a stack of prepped meals on a Sunday, knowing he could come home and just heat it up and have a good hot meal during the week. Maybe it was a little early to be doing that kind of stuff though. Just the fact that I wanted to do that at all was a testament to just how much I liked him already.* *My breath catches at the way he smirks at me and predicts that I'll keep him on his toes. And when he tells me I can make him work for it so boldly, it's the first time that I really feel a strong wave of physical attraction. I'd been so giddy about how sweet he was and how well we'd gotten along so far, and obviously I'd noticed that he was attractive and a great kisser. But a hint of a new kind of chemistry had blossomed in my belly at that comment. And it had me blushing when he moved right along to talk about sharing body heat and sneaking kisses. It took me a second to gather my thoughts and reply.*

Making you work a little sounds kinda fun. *I admit with a shy smile. It surprised me when my first instinct when feeling so shy and vulnerable was to move closer to him and not away. I stay put where I am though, still getting used to the feelings he brought out in me.* In that case, I look forward to it getting chillier later so we have an excuse to be closer.

*My pulse doesn't get a moment to settle because it's off racing again just as soon as he takes my hand and spins me after we clean up the picnic. The look in his eyes when he takes my other hand and peers down at me with so much promise in his gaze has me feeling weak. I was in danger, but my fight or flight instincts weren't telling me to flee. They were telling me to stay and fight to keep this man at my side. I smile up and him and nod in agreement.* I'm ready too.

(Ahhhh Mod. I AM SWOONING. Hajime is such a good guy and that more feisty side coming out made me blush!)

#🏋️Iwa anon #Iwa anon #BestAnonSquad #this reply had me so blushy #I want to be closer to him!#I want to give him my trust and my love #🥰🥰🥰🥰

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livelaughlovetoread · 24 days ago

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With Remus' chapter posted it is time again for me to tell you about what the images mean!

Below the cut are spoilers for the chapter so read at your own risk!

TW from the chapter about suicidal ideation and attempts still applies.

1. The steak knives - I think most would think that this would be about Remus wanting rare meat, but instead, it is about him having suicidal thoughts. So I tricked you there!

It was really important to me that Remus has suicidal thoughts as the way he thinks about himself screams like someone who struggles with mental health. The fact that we know Remus' most happy times were when he was at Hogwarts also tells us that he was suffering before and after. And I think a lot of that comes from depression.

Remus is so young, but disabled kids have depression and suicidal thoughts and I think Remus would be one of them.

This fic is in the 60s and 70s though so it's not like his parents are going to get him therapy - I am not even sure either of them would know what that is. However, they do know about suicide and I think that many of the book would mention that a large amount of werewolf deaths are caused by it.

2. The Basement - I knew at some point Remus would have to go into the basement for his transformations and so that is why I put this photo. Nothing too special.

3. The Feilds and Cows - So according to Pottermore Remus' mum was Welsh and so I knew I was going to have him grow up in Wales and be a proud Welshman. I looked up photos of Wales and got this one, I knew Remus was going to live in remote areas so it fit. I don't think his parents would pick large towns, small towns would be best. Gossip spreads fast in small towns, but it also does not often leave the small town. Plus not many people would move in and out.

I wrote the part where Remus works running deliveries after I selected this photo as I knew he was going to spend time in the countryside, but then it just fit that he would want to go off and explore, even though he knew he had to be a secret he would want to try and fit in. I loved that part, it made me think of the Remus he will become with his friends.

4. The broken window - Something that always got me is that Remus shared a room with all the boys. Like they have to change and shower and all that stuff. There is not that much privacy. Eventually, someone was going to see his scars and he would need to have an excuse. I really don't think that they would have sent Remus to Hogwarts without plans for excuses - they knew very well he would miss classes. I racked my brain at what this could be - and I came up with a car crash. It's not something like an animal attack which Remus' family would think is too close to the truth. It's also something most witches and wizards would not know enough about. So if he said he was in a bad accident not many would understand.

I also think that not all the teachers at Hogwarts would know. Neither Remus nor his father would be good with that, however, I do think all the heads of the house would understand along with Madam Pompfry.

You might remember from Chapter 1 that James Potter knows a lot about cars, which plays into a conversation you will see in the future!

Spoilers Without Context

ALITS Chapter 3 - Remus John Lupin

Chapter Three of A Light In The Shadows is about Remus Lupin and will be posted on Nov. 30th!

You can read about James Potter's and Sirius Black's first eleven years now!

Let me know in the replies what you think is going to happen to Remus!

#remus lupin #ALITS #ALITS SWC A

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kitsuvil · 2 years ago

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Velvet Cigarettes - Just friends, right?

♡

slight tw warning: father issues, kinda angsty chapter towards the end

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

I knock on the door of the apartment, expecting Kazuha to come out but once it opens I'm facing someone else. "Morning, Albedo," I wave. "Hey Y/N, is the art student here to hang out with their new boyfriend?" He asks. "Stop yourself right there, first of all we're just visting the record store. Second of all, you have to finish the project that's due soon, don't you? I'm going to be on your ass now that I know we share class together."

"Damn, you're not wrong, but I'm almost finished with it, trust me, I'll even send a picture when I'm done. I'll go let Kazuha know you're here though."

"Right, I'll be awaiting that photo."

I lean against the wall of the apartment, slightly stepping inside as I wait. He has a nice place, honestly speaking. You'd expect something shabby for a college student's apartment but he's definitely got his life together, so much that even the band hangs out here.

"Y/N! Good morning!" He grins, grabbing a bag as he walks towards the door. I wave and walk towards him. "Hey Albedo, don't forget to lock up when you go home! Good luck on that project!"

"I got you, don't worry," He calls from another room.

"Let's go?" I nudge towards the door, offering a hand and leading him to my car.

Most of the car ride is quiet save for the music playing from the Aux and our occasional conversation. Kazuha chose to introduce me to new songs already, asking me to rate every song he plays, leaving him in surprise when I mention knowing some of the songs.

"Really? I thought every fan of his music was dead, absolutely no one talks about him."

"I'd be concerned if I was dead, Kazuha."

"I'm just kidding, but still, you're the first one I've met."

"Maybe it was fated."

"I'm inclined to believe that at this point."

I slow the car and pull up to the record shop, parking at the closest spot. "I can't wait to see what you'll show from this preview I got in the car," I chuckle. "I haven't seen any songs from you, I can't wait either," Kazuha gets out and walks to the shop doors.

"Do you visit here often?"

"Actually, I try to go as often as I can. There's never too much albums and vinyls to collect."

"You have a vinyl player?"

"Sure do, I'd love to play it for you sometime."

We browse the endless amounts of music for at least 30 minutes, completely lost in the conversations and recommendations that are going on between us.

"I lived in this area for a long time, so I've honestly become quite familiar with the store itself. Back in the days when Velvet Cigarettes wasn't formed, I would imagine having a band and seeing our albums for sale here."

"I've only been a few times, but each time I've seen your guys music, so you've definitely made it. I wish your childhood self could see what you've achieved now."

"I wish your childhood self could also see you hanging out with the vocalist of your favorite high school band," Kazuha laughs.

"It feels like a dream still," My cheeks begin to flush a little, "Hey, I know that band!" I change the topic and hurry towards another shelf.

"Kazuha?" I turn back to look at him.

"Coming!" He puts away his phone and heads towards me.

"I remember growing up with this band, especially when I was in middle school-"

Suddenly I hear multiple notifications go off on my phone.

"Oh- Uh..."

"Hey, Kazuha... I'll uh- I'll be right back," I laugh it off and hurry to the bathroom. This definitely doesn't sound like a good sign.

I press the call button despite my anxiety being at peak level. He picks up immediately, the sound of yelling filling the bathroom in an echo. "Hey, I said I'm outside, could you stop yelling. What do you want?" I ask, speaking over him.

"You fucking bitch, why don't you respond to me immediately?"

"Maybe because I'm busy."

"You? Busy? Maybe with failing your classes, sure dumbass."

"Excuse me?" I hesitate, but begin to go off on him anyway. "I will have your slow ass know, I'm passing in my classes and you're not at my side constantly looking at any actions I make so you have no right to assume that of me. I'm doing well with my friends and my grades, the rest is none of your business."

"Hey, what the fuck are you yelling at me for? I'm just trying to be a good father!" He retorts.

"Good fathers don't call their children slurs and call them while they're drunk just to act like a bitch. Fuck you."

I hold up my phone, getting ready to throw it onto the ground before regaining my composure. I press down on the end call button, trying to wipe the memory of anything happening just now, but it doesn't work. I face the mirror, frowning at the tears that I didn't even notice had been streaming down my face.

i wipe all of it off, trying to look as presentable as possible. I still had to spend time with Kazuha, I couldn't just leave on him. Would it be worth it to try and explain that I just didn't feel up for it anymore?

I hear a few knocks coming from the bathroom door.

"Hey Y/N, are you good in there? It's already been multiple minutes."

It's Kazuha.

I take a last check on my appearance and go to open the door.

"I'm fine, don't worry!" I smile.

"Are you sure?"

I pause, unsure of what to respond with. It's obvious that I'm not doing well, there's really no point in hiding it. "I... No, I'm sorry, I don't really feel good anymore..." I lean against the wall.

"You should've let me know immediately. I'm not going to pry on what happened, but if you want to leave and go rest, please don't worry."

"That's... Thank you, okay." I straighten myself out and head towards the car.

"If you really need a break and want someone around to comfort you then you can drop by my place tonight? I promise it has a better environment than the college dorms, there's a reason I don't live in them."

"Really? I'd appreciate it, I don't really want to go anywhere that would make my anxiety rise."

"Of course. I have a stash of alcohol and shit to smoke if you'd like to keep your mind off things too."

"I will take you up on that offer, give me the worst alcohol you have, I don't want to remember a thing in the morning. If I miss class, so be it, I'll find a way to catch up on the assignments."

"Alright, alcohol it is."

as long as this chapter is... i did not proofread it and will not, that ones on me LMAO im so sorry 4 dropping angst on the 3rd chapter but at least u get kazuha doing his best to comfort u... i should also stop posting chapters in the middle of the night

taglist: @slvdsjjk @lost-wicked-artist @shhhlistenn @kaika-hanakata @plinkuro @shakiraisawesome @griseoo

#genshin #genshin impact #kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha x reader #genshin smau #genshin impact smau #genshin fluff #fluff #hoyoverse #band au #college au #modern au

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