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ponett · 5 years ago

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Welp... it’s over. After nine years, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is over. I just got done watching the series finale with Anthony and, just like I knew I would, when the credits rolled, I cried my eyes out

I should probably say something, huh. I’ve been sharing thoughts like this mostly on Twitter lately, but I started using Tumblr to blog about MLP, so I don’t think it would be right to post this anywhere else

I have a complicated relationship with MLP:FiM. It’s a show that got really hit or miss after the second season, and it has a fandom so toxic and so full of edgy libertarians that it scared me off from formally participating in fandoms for the rest of my life. But it’s also probably my favorite TV show of all time. There are other shows that are much better written, that have more to say, that are more consistent, even including several other cartoons from the same decade. But I think I’d be lying to myself if I said it wasn’t my favorite show

No other piece of media has had as massive of an impact on my life as My Little Pony

I grew closer to some of my closest high school friends because of our shared enthusiasm for the show. I started PonyPokey with Jake and Derek and made a bunch of bad videos and got invited to be on a wildly disorganized BronyCon panel with Jenny Nicholson in 2012. (We went on stage immediately after Lauren Faust’s panel. I barely said a word due to stage fright.)

After years of being too afraid to share my art online, I started putting more effort into learning digital art so that I could draw ponies. It started out rough, but with the drive to improve, I quickly got better. I started Fluttershy Replies. For the first time, I had an audience. I had people who cared about my work and supported me. Even as times have changed, many of you have been following me since way back then

Around the time I came out as bi in 2012, I got really into MLP shipping. Writing sappy comics and drawing sappy art became an outlet for my years of pent up feelings, and helped me sort out a lot of stuff. My Little Pony also completely changed the views on femininity that had been beaten into my skull since childhood. Suddenly, it wasn’t this strange, alien thing to be afraid of. MLP, at its heart, is a show about how there’s no wrong way to be a girl. That’s an incredibly powerful message. Rarity wasn’t a vapid snob. Fluttershy wasn’t a background character who got made into the butt of the joke. Pinkie wasn’t a ditz. These were characters written to be empathized with. And writing about my own feelings from the perspective of Fluttershy felt... right. It took me a few years to fully process those feelings, but eventually, I realized the truth. I was a trans woman. And a cartoon about horses was the first step on my path to realizing this

In 2013, one of the roughest years of my life, I decided to download RPG Maker on a whim to give myself a distraction. Naturally, my first instinct was to make a game where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash kiss. What was initially supposed to be a short, Fantastic Game-esque playground of silly little jokes spiraled out of control and became Super Lesbian Horse RPG, a game that I poured my heart and soul into over the course of a year. And then, a couple years later, my desire to preserve the ideas from my copyright-infringing fangame also spiraled out of control, as all my creative projects do, and became SLHRPG’s successor: Super Lesbian Animal RPG. SLARPG isn’t really a reskinned MLP fangame anymore--it’s more like a new game inspired in part by my old project. The story has been drastically rewritten, the characters changed, the levels and gameplay redesigned. Most of the cast of the new game wasn’t in the original project in any form. There’s much, much, much, much, much more new content than old left in the game. And the original game had already strayed so far from the canon anyway. But I’m also not sure it would exist without MLP

I made a bunch of friends online, including close friends I still have to this day. I met the people like Bee and Thomas who I’m still working with on SLARPG. Most importantly, because we both blogged about MLP and had some mutual friends, I met Anthony, the love of my life. We’ve been together for five years now and supported each other through good times and bad. This is the lamest, corniest, stupidest thing I will ever say in my life, but he’s the Rainbow Dash to my Fluttershy

...

So what about the finale itself? (spoilers, obviously)

I have... mixed feelings on the finale. There were some things that really annoyed me in there. But also, like I said, I cried, so I think it’s safe to say they did good overall

I think the thing that stuck in my craw the most was Discord. Which I guess shouldn’t be surprising. I’ve been saying for years now how I hate Discord, how he spits in the face of everything the show stands for. He’s an obnoxious elderly manchild who constantly causes problems on purpose and torments his so-called friends the second they stop paying attention to him. But they have to put up with him and give him infinite second chances, because he’s a god and Celestia said they had to reform him

The overarching plot of the final season is that Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, and Cozy Glow (a Darla Dimple-esque filly villain from season 8) had teamed up with Grogar, a “new” villain taken from G1. While this goes on in the background, Twilight is making her preparations to become Celestia’s successor, as we’d known would be her destiny since the day she got wings six years ago. The villain team-up stuff was genuinely fun, and a highlight of the season for me. But then, in the three-part finale, it’s revealed that Grogar was actually Discord in disguise, and that he’d been intentionally trying to orchestrate a big attack on Twilight’s coronation so that she and her friends could save the day and get a big confidence boost going into her reign as princess. This is like... one of the most bafflingly stupid plot twist of all time. It’s literally the end of the show, and Discord has learned nothing. He’s “nice” now, but he’s still intentionally causing huge problems and putting everyone’s lives in danger to solve his problems. He freed four different villains they’d already defeated just so Twilight could beat them again, and in the process they literally blew up the goddamn castle in Canterlot and nearly killed everyone. And yet... they still forgive him, because they have to

I did, however, think that the last two-part adventure episode was fun overall. It tied a nice bow on much of the series, bringing back a bunch of old friends (including cameos from the movie cast!) to band together and save the day. Of course, in the end, they beat the bad guys with a big rainbow laser and sealed them in a statue. You know, even though a previous season finale was all about how solving their problems with a friendship laser and sealing the villains away never worked. Also, Cozy Glow might be evil, but she’s still literally a child? And now her petrified body is on display in the center of Canterlot? What the fuck????

I’m complaining a lot, but again. It was fun overall. It was nice to have one last big adventure, and to have the mane six reflect on how they’d grown since Twilight moved to Ponyville

...

And then we got the actual final episode. And boy did this one hit me HARD

I’m so glad that they ended on a quieter episode about the main cast’s friendships, because that’s what the show is actually about. The two-part adventures to save Equestria every season are fun, but that’s not the real show. We all came back every week for Twilight and her friends

There are things I can complain about here, too. Spike being a buff adult dragon with the voice of a child is fucked up. I’m still not used to seeing Twilight be Celestia’s size. But more than anything, I was always worried that we’d get a Harry Potter ending, where all the characters are paired off into arbitrary marriages so they can all have kids. Thankfully, this didn’t really happen. The only one who had a kid was Pinkie, who apparently got married to Cheese Sandwich (Weird Al’s character) at some point. Like, they literally shared two episodes together, with no hint of romance? But then they got married and had a kid off-screen??? What the fuck???? A lot of people also think that Fluttershy ended up with Discord, and I know I’m massively biased against that ship, but... I mean, they teased the FlutterCord shippers, but there wasn’t really any actual textual evidence that they were any closer than they had been previously. Y’all weirdos who ship Fluttershy with an obnoxious elderly man can interpret that as being “canon” if you want, I guess, but it’s not

The other relationship that shocked everyone in the finale was Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who... appear to be a couple? It’s definitely hinted at. I have... very, very mixed feelings about this. I mean, okay, obivously I’m the big FlutterDash fangirl. But I think AppleDash is cute, too! The problem is that, like... they’ve barely interacted in years? Like, they had a lot of episodes together in the first two seasons, but then the writers barely ever had them interact past that point. I can’t even remember when the last time we got an actual episode focusing on them was. And no, the one where Rainbow takes Granny Smith to pony Vegas doesn’t count

Like... yeah, it’s cute. It’s a nice gesture. Lyra and Bon Bon getting married in the background was also cute. But we can do so, so much better in 2019. We have so many explicitly canon lesbian couples in cartoons. Couples that actually kissed, or got married, or showed feelings for each other. Rainbow and AJ barely even fucking talked to each other in the final few seasons. I dunno, it just feels very hollow to me. Even the Equestria Girls crew admitting they were pushing RariJack felt more substantial to me, because at least they were given on-screen chemistry and lots of canon interaction

But in the end, complaints aside, the finale was about Twilight moving back to Canterlot, and worrying that her friendships would fade because of it. Honestly, I think this is what the finale of the show always would’ve been. It was the perfect story to end on. And boy, it hit really close to home

And then the last song happens, reflecting on how things have changed, but how they’re all still friends. And we see all the other friends they made along the way. And the camera zooms out, and the book from the opening of the very first episode closes, bringing the entire nine-year saga full circle

And then I started sobbing really hard in Anthony’s arms

...

I dunno. I just got done nitpicking a lot, but I still think that the last episode was a good and very emotional ending for the show

I’m going to miss this show dearly. I know it will be back in a new form, and that the leaks indicate that it’ll still star slightly different versions of the Mane Six. I’m also used to shows like this getting rebooted. Hasbro cartoons are honestly lucky to last past three seasons. FiM, on the other hand, got over 200 episodes, a theatrical film, a few specials, some shorts, a bunch of comics (which I still need to read), and a spinoff human AU series that was also really great. There’s no shortage of content, and I’m sure I’ll be returning to the series for years to come. I’m also glad that the show managed to go out on a high note

But still. It was a constant presence in my life for nearly nine years. Even as the quality got really hit or miss, even as they took the premise in strange directions, even as the crew of the show grew more and more dominated by men, it was still a show I could rely on to always be there, 26 episodes a year. I’ll miss it. I hope what comes next is just as good, if not even better. I also hope it’s gayer

I was going to end my ask blog, Fluttershy Replies, around the time the show ended. I’m not sure if I’ll do that just yet. I don’t know. I think that might be a bit much for me to process emotionally. Too many doors closing in my life in quick succession. But I do want to do more with it. These characters will be special to me for the rest of my life

I mean shit, I haven’t even drawn StarTrix yet. I’ve still got a lot of work to do with these horses, folks

#bobby thinks about horses

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cowboyguts-moved · 5 years ago

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Ok i’ve GOT to know 14 and 15 because josh...you have a torment hard-on unlike anyone else i have ever seen...why do you always have one OC who’s like a fucking orphan with a peg leg and almost starved to death as an infant or another one who ended up in the hospital and lost all of their money because their small time drug dealer turned out to be working for the colombian cartel and robbed them blind. josh why

ok tumblr wont let me post all of it but gimme a sec and ill edit this ask

edit:

HHSHDJDKXNXJDJZNSJ WHAT'S FUCKIN LIFE WITHOUT PERILOUS DANGER and inborn trauma and tragedy... i do it to purge myself of my own problems and to give me incentive for research and discovering different walks of life than my own ... you almost hit the nail on the head with lewis though which is the answer to

14. The roughest backstory I’ve given an OC

Lewis was made because the head of this cult wanted lewis to be born... kinda like symbolism for jesus's birth. i don't know all the lore for this cult yet but they're a small commune north of a small town in northern California. They have their own isolated community of two hundred people give or take. Lewis' mom was a teenage runaway and lewis' dad was a simple farm hand in a cruel family who treated him poorly because of mental disability and they had to have lewis because it was ordered of them and there was sorta no way out of it...they had a boy and for some reason the birth of this kid didnt feel right and he didnt feel like... divine enough to be used for ritual practice and the ultimate mission of these cults leaders... which would inevitably be a sacrifice of the boy. haha (: and so theyre like ...try again. so now Lewis was born with a fraternal sister but they only cared about Lewis...his real name is Aloysius for petes sake, he's named after a saint. Lewis isnt particularly singled out as he grows up like he doesn't know he's being especially watched because of some bullshit prophecy that was most definitely made up and no theres no angelic godly energy running through him everyone is just a bunch of freaks. Lewis grows up not knowing his siblings are his biologically because the commune is about group-raising. everyone is a sibling every adult is a parent. he doesn't know his mom is His mom but she watches him extra close and lewis gets an idea that this one women may be his Mom mom even though he doesnt have a strong concept of what that even means. Lewis is abused and neglected like other kids, him more severely by a man called Father Gabriel..we despise him ha ha. he's the most vile evil character i will ever make. Lewis's life is fine, not fine... because he's being raised in a cult... but fine in his eyes because he gets schooling in the small community school, he gets recreation activities..this is where he learns to paint, he does labor a lot but he does love when he gets to garden and pet the animals in their barn, he sings in the church choir. the hardest part about it are his visits with Father Gabriel that occur whenever father wants them to at whatever time of day and the neglect from the Brothers of the church as well. this starts when he's about 7 or 8

he's treated especially poorly and corporal punishment and solitary confinement and withholding of basic needs is a big thing. etc etc. this is a religious cult obviously so that sort of biblical fear is instilled in him. uhhh then for whatever reason i have to iron out the kids are allowed to go to private schools close by, probably as not to seem like a closed off and suspicious cult that draws attention. lewis meets chris at his school (: hehe. lewis still has to go back to the commune every weekend though and thats especially hell because things get worse when he's in middle school. uhh when high school comes around hes actually plucked out of the school system and is going back to living full time in the commune and being homeschooled except he and 5 children are selected to go on a Retreat with father gabriel and two of the Brothers..the retreat is actually just living in an abandoned home in the middle of Nebraska and its one big sacrificial ritual thats lasts a year and the kids are of course neglected, made to do odd rituals, are humiliated. uhh basically its Horror Movie stuff... i wanted it to feel like a horror movie that lewis is trying to escape from. theres no light in the house. they only use candles and daylight. theres limited food. hardly any outside time. the ultimate goal is that they'll eventually get very malnourished and then theyll be sacrificed... a little girl doesnt make it. Lewis is upset because he learned to love her as a sister. he can feel himself getting closer to death.... he has deep lacerations on his leg from abuse and theyre not getting treated and his tissue is dying and his leg is getting gangrene. he escapes one night through the corn field and he tells a man he sees in town to call the police and then flees. he realizes his leg is dying! he by chance meets a doctor! lewis has no money for amputation so he offers something Else and this disgusting doctor accepts!!! lewis is sent off with a bad wooden prosthetic and not enough healing time in bed and no physical therapy and his own supply of pain meds that will soon run out! lewis prostitutes for money and pain meds in mystic overhang!! he gets with very repulsive men that mistreat him! when lewis is touched he gets very pliable and limp as a coping mechanism! he stops the meds and withdrawals! thank you

15. The least painful backstory I’ve given an OC

My least painful backstory HHHSHDHSHS IS TANNER. jesus tanner grew up with a very...here or there father. he's not great at all. he's not the worst. but being around him feels kinda empty and they don't talk about much besides tanner in hockey and other common interests like that. his parents are divorced, he feels lost with his passions and where he's going in life. it all feels a bit aimless and he feels like he's on the Precipice of something bad or losing something he holds dear. like friends and memories and his girlfriend amiyah. his brother is really mean like pretty much abusive..he's 14 and he's narcissist asshole with a fucked up head and he makes his life hell and he's honestly a little frightening. sometimes his mom is unaware of the important things going on in tanners life and she's a bit harebrained and unfairly self absorbed but she is a good lady and he loves her. also we arent sure yet if this is canon material but he gets amiyah pregnant and she miscarries 3 months in SO...yeah there u have it.

#abuse #child abuse #child neglect #child torture #lewis #tanner

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kindaangelic · 7 years ago

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Slip and Slide - A BatFamily Fic

Welcome to Chapter Two of Slip and Slide! I hope you enjoy more BatFamily shannanigans as they muddle their way through everyday life.

Once again, this has been began read by the eagle eyed @komadoriwonder. Her encouragement has been my elixir.

This has been crossposted on ao3 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/11975934/chapters/27085371

Chapter one can be found on tumblr on my page - https://kindaangelic.tumblr.com/post/164745977897/slip-and-slide-a-batfamily-fic

TWO

“Okay, so you get Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays as Batman, and I get the rest,” Dick said with a sense of finality as Jason leaned back in his chair, seemingly relieved to be done with the logistics side of things. “The other days, we will continue as Nightwing and Red Hood respectively. Now, we have to determine who gets Damian-“

“Not it.”

Dick looked pointedly at Jason and stood to put up the new schedule on the wall of the cave. “Ok, so I’ll tell Barbara and that'll be that. I get to keep Dami, and we split Batman. What about Timmy?”

“I don't mind the stinkweed, I can patrol with him. What's he going by now?”

“I don't know,” Dick sighed heavily. “He's still mad at me, he hasn't spoken to me in weeks. Maybe you can get through to him.”

“Yes, he’ll totally open up to the man who attempted to abduct and kill him to get back at our shared mentor. I'm the perfect candidate, Dick.”

Dick looked woebegone and sank into an armchair. “I just want him to forgive me. I mean, I know that I hurt him, but the circumstances left me with little choice. I had to push Damian into being Robin. It's the only way I can keep the ten-year-old murder-baby from going off the rails!”

“So you let your other kid, who is plagued by depression and daddy issues, to flounder alone in Gotham. God, Dick, even I know that you don't leave highly intelligent and unstable, hormonal, acne-ridden teens running around this city without supervision. It's like you're just begging for another kid to end up dead.”

Dick looked horrified. “Depression!?”

“Of course,” Jason snorted. “As a previous connoisseur of the condition myself, I can tell that the Replacement is sipping from the same cup as I once did.”

“Oh, Jay...” Dick breathed. “I didn't know. How...did you get better?”

“I beat Bruce up a lot. I mean, like, a LOT. It was cathartic. I blew shit up with Roy. I slept with Roy. I'm still sleeping with Roy. I bought a hamster. Basically, I did a lot of stuff that I liked. Also, I take a couple of pills.”

“Jason!”

“Relax, I know what I'm doing, featherbrain,” Jason scoffed. “Alfie knows a guy, he referred me. Also, before you ask, no, he's not based in Arkham. I guess being separated from my murderer was actually good for my mental health. Who’da thunk it?”

And now Dick was crying again. Brilliant. Jason looked around nervously for the new brat, who was Dick’s new self-appointed guardian demonling, and saw that he was safe.

“Crying won't help your kid brother’s soul crushing depression,” Jason advised sagely.

More tears. Man, Alfie had made it seem to easy.

“We need to talk to Tim,” Dick mumbled thickly, wiping his nose. “I need to apologize to him fully, and help him see that we still love him just as much.”

“Yeah, do that thing! Wait, we? Dick, there is no ‘we’ in this. There's you and - ok, ok, I'm coming,” Jason said hastily as Dick gnashed his teeth and glared at him with his red, teary, eyes. “God, you nearly made me shit myself,” he muttered as he followed his older brother upstairs.

“Timmy?” Dick called timidly, knocking on Tim’s door. “Timmy? Can we come in please?”

After several seconds of silence, Jason made to turn on his heel, saying, “Welp, he's not here. We tried, I'm leaving,” but backtracked when Dick threw him the most terrifying glare Jason had ever witnessed in his life. “Oh, you know what, I changed my mind and am fully invested in this. Let's jimmy the door open and go in.”

One picked lock later, Dick and Jason were standing inside The Area That Was Previously Known As A Habitable Room. There were clothes strewn everywhere, and tech paraphernalia littered the ground. The only pristine things were the photo frames, which held pictures of Tim posing with Bruce (awkwardly), Kon-El (far too cozily), and Dick (sweetly). Jason allowed Dick to cry some more over the picture, and set about violating Tim’s privacy, digging through his belongings.

After several moments, Dick was jerked back from his misery when Jason shouted angrily, and shoved a photo album under his nose.

“Look!” he shrieked, shaking the album underneath Dick’s nose, “that little creep! He's been stalking us since forever! Look, “Batman and Robin take to the skies”, “Batman and Robin save Drake Heir”, “Robin stuns Gotham by Rounding Up Two-Face and Scarecrow in One Night!” and pictures! The little stalker’s been following the both of us since the very beginning!”

Dick stared at the pictures and newspaper clippings, a myriad of emotions flashing across his face. He breathed deeply, several times, and burst into tears once more.

“Those had better be tears of anger, Dick, I swear...”

“Sweet Timmy!”

“Ugh.”

“What's this?” Dick said, as his movement dislodged another flurry of papers. “Letters. Oh, Timmy has a pen pal, that's cute. He's made friends with...R’as Al Ghul!?” Dick tore open the most recent of the correspondences and read it out loud as Jason leaned over his shoulder.

“My Dearest Timothy,

Your wit and ruthless intellect have the entire League collectively lusting after you. We thank you for the assistance you gave us in the past month and hope that you will reconsider my proposal.

I would love to have such a sharp mind disguised by such soft features and youth to rule by my side. Together we would bring the world to its knees.

Yours Reverently,

R’as Al Ghul The Demon’s Head Leader of the League of Assassins.”

“Damn,” Jason whistled. “That explains Timbo’s spy network. He's been in bed with the League, and probably has his own network from his work with them.”

“Don't say that!” Dick snapped, beating Jason repeatedly with the letter. “He’s just a boy! He's not been in bed with anything other than a teddy bear!”

“That he lovingly named R’as-OWOWOW!”

“His name is Boos, actually,” a cold voice said from the doorway. “Bruce gave him to me for my third birthday, and I've had him ever since. But you would know that, what with your snooping around my room.”

“Timmy!” Dick cried, jumping up. “It's not what it looks like!”

“So you weren't violating my privacy, trust, and sanctuary?”

“We were worried!” Dick said defensively. “Jason told me that you were having a hard time, and that you were depressed. I felt guilty and wanted to apologize to you, and help you.” He reached out and gripped Tim’s forearm, which he felt tense up beneath the layers upon layers of sweatshirts, “I never wanted things to get this bad. We need to reaffirm that you belong here, with us, with your family. Isn't that right, Jason?”

“...Your teddy bear is named after Bruce. The teddy bear is on your pillow. You sleep with it.”

“Jason!”

“Dick, stop,” Tim sighed, shaking his arm off. “First of all, you need to read my reply to R’as.”

Jason tore into another envelope and read,

“R’as you Cradle Robbing Creep,

Leave me alone. I briefly led the League of Assassins to ensure that there would be no power vacuum in your absence. Also, if you actually treated your spies like people, they wouldn't be so quick to defect to me.

I have Coffee Fridays. I know what each of my spies’ favorite flavor of ice cream is.

Think about it.

Signed,

Tim.

PS- Don't contact me with your pervy letters anymore. You're an evil, old, gremlin, and I already have a boyfriend.”

Dick gave a weak laugh and made to draw Tim into a hug, which the boy dodged expertly. “Oh thank God, thank God,” he mumbled into his hands. “I was so scared, I thought that we were going to lose you.”

“It wouldn't have mattered,” Tim muttered, “I'm obsolete anyway.”

“You're not some piece of machinery, Tim, you're my brother!” Dick shouted. “I love you like I love Jason, and Damian, and Cass! You guys mean the world to me!”

“Ah, so that's why you were so quick to replace me with the same sadistic gnome that tried to kill me,” Tim said sarcastically. “I've been showing love all wrong! I should have known!”

“Alright, that's enough,” Jason sighed. “Listen, you're angry and slighted, and I get it. I've been there. Also, I should probably apologize for trying to kill you in a fit of Pit madness, that was shitty of me.”

“We’re fine,” Tim said. “I didn't expect much of you, I didn't exactly grow up with your loving and doting presence to buoy me through the roughest times in my life, only to be discarded when a newer, shinier, kid came along.”

“Ow. Yeah,” Jason said, flinching. “That hurt. We should have coffee and bond over that neglect sometime. But come on, man. Bruce saddled Dick with fatherhood and Batman practically overnight. And it wasn't like it was an angelic cherub of a baby, either - it was freaking Damian “stay still while I slice you into ribbons” Al Ghul. Dick messed up big time, I get it. But give him a chance to make it up to you, and if he messes up, you can totally become my sidekick. How does Maroon Hoodie sound as a name?”

“It sucks ass,” Tim said bluntly, “but thanks. I might take you up on it if I'm truly that pathetically desperate.”

“So...we can try again?” Dick asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I guess,” Tim said warily. “I just...need some time.”

“Of course, little brother,” Dick said softly. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”

Tim gulped, words flying through his brain, but never reaching his lips. I could never not love you. You are my idol. I need you to listen to me… but what came out was: “I want us to try again.”

“And we will,” Dick promised earnestly. “We will. We’ll get you help for your depression and coffee addiction. We’ll make a whole new, stronger, bond.”

“It's not an addiction.”

“Baby steps, Timmy,” Dick laughed, “baby steps.”

-----------

“Master Timothy is going to come down in his new uniform, and I expect nothing but encouragement and kindness, is that clear?” Alfred addressed the gathered Batlings as they stood in the cold, clammy darkness of the Cave.

“Of course!”

“I have a camera. Let's see how that little stalker likes it when the tables are turned!”

“Tt.”

“I hope it makes his butt look big,” Stephanie muttered. When Alfred looked at her curiously, she seethed, “He told me that purple highlighted my “unnaturally wide hips!” And we were supposed to be dating at the time!”

Jason guffawed loudly as Damian observed, ��You look like an overstuffed eggplant at the best of times, Brown. Perhaps you should learn to see criticism in a constructive manner and shed some of your mass.”

There was no time for Stephanie to reply, though, as Tim came sailing in with his new red and black outfit, a utility belt crossing his chest. He twirled around and looked expectantly at his friends and family. “What do you think?”

Stephanie was the first to react. “You look brilliant! Damnit!”

“Um...thanks?”

“Clearly, you've inherited my superior fashion sense,” Jason said smugly, clearly approving of the copious amounts of red.

“Mendelian Inheritance doesn't work that way, Todd! Clearly, not even living with the Batman himself was able to override your inherent stupidity.”

“Punishment for Master Damian,” Alfred announced.

“No!”

“Yay!” Dick cried, and scooped Damian up into a thirty second hug that Damian fought every second of. “I like it Timmy!”

“Thanks. Kon liked it too.”

“Ok, I changed my mind,” Dick said, suddenly taciturn.

“I thought you liked Kon,” Tim remarked, surprised.

“Tim, Bruce told me something when I was your age, and in his absence, I'm going to pass his words on to you - all men are dogs, and they don't deserve you.”

“Right. But you dated Roy Harper,” Tim pointed out. “He's never been Bruce’s favorite.”

“I quite agree,” Alfred sniffed. “He is too exuberant and explosive, and cusses far too much. I am hesitant to approve of anyone related to Oliver Queen and his cronies.” Jason suddenly looked too nonchalant, whistling and looking away, the very picture of guilt. “We will be having words, Master Jason,” Alfred said warningly, and Jason groaned.

“Boyfriend aside, I think it's a decent outfit,” Jason said. “But the position of Maroon Hoodie’s still out there, if you're ever interested.”

“Yeah, no. Can we go out now, please?” Tim asked, walking past the group. As he passed, Stephanie, Barbara, and Helena all tittered, prompting Dick to glare at them and ask,

“Timmy, do you have a cape?”

“Um...”

“Wear a cape.”

“Really? I thought I could do without it. Kon said I looked nice-“

“WEAR. A. CAPE. TIMMY,” Dick said, gnashing his teeth.

“Holy crap, you were right,” Tim said, looking at Jason, “he's scary when he does that.” Tim hastened to put on a cowl and cape and led the way out into the night, eager to give Gotham’s villains reason to shit their pants once more.

--------

Tim watched triumphantly as Scarecrow and Joker were led away by the authorities, bruises from being repeatedly hit by his bo staff already coloring nicely.

“Wait! Wait! I gotta-“ Red Hood jogged up to the cop holding the Joker and delivered a vicious backhand to the clown’s face. “Okay, I'm done.”

Under the cowl, Dick rolled his eyes dragged Jason away. Tim made to follow them, but was stopped by none other than Vicki Vale. “A double whammy for Gotham’s newest Robin graduate! What’s your name, hero?”

Tim hesitated for a second and looked at his family, and felt a bolt of inspiration hit him. “Red.” Jason punched the air gleefully. “They call me Red Robin,” he said, and spun on his heel dramatically and jumped into the batmobile.

The entire ride home, he put up with Jason’s smugness, Dick’s pride and amusement, and Damian hissing and spitting about “clinging onto my rightful persona, Drake, you lizard!” Tim just leaned back, enjoying the feeling of being his own man.

Maybe this family wasn't so bad after all.

#batman #batfamily #dick grayson #Tim drake #damian wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #fluff #angst #depression #stephanie brown #crack #humour #slip and slide #fic #koma you glorious swan

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