#this is partially a joke but also i am 100% serious

[sunsetzer]

Edgar has two hands, one for Locke and one for Setzer. "What about Celes though?" I hear you ask. Well, you see, she's busy holding hands with Terra.

[mysilaan]

What’s sleeping with the Touchstarved LIs like? Nothing sexual. Just. Sleeping lol eepy pals

I like imagining Ais moving in his sleep BUT you only get to notice that once you wake up lol (he’s curled up in the corner of your bed fast asleep with the blanket at his feet) ALSO BIG BUT!!!!! That’s only if he’s not cuddling you to sleep (smth he does often). Only then will he sleep sound and motionless. He doesn’t give a shit if his arm falls asleep. GIVE HIM CUDDLES.

Sleeping with Leander is just with him standing in the corner of the room. Unblinking. Covered in the shadows. He Does Not Sleep. He’s normal though, I swear :-) :-) jk I love to have this man.

HELLO ANON

Hope you’re good! I love this request… I don’t know if Ais sleeps actually… But if he does I’m sure he’s a light sleeper. For Leander that guy might as well be dying from lack of sleep LMAO

For the other LIs… Kuras definitely doesn’t sleep, I think Mhin is pretty paranoid so I’m imagining they have a lot of nightmares, or insomnia… For Vere, idk why but he gives off the vibe of the heavy sleeper: he’s 100% taking all the place in the bed and is impossible to wake up against his will… Well, basically a cat.

BUT I did write a little something about Ais (and a small part about Leander) because your ideas were funny to write, I had to…

After blood, sweat and tears it's finally here... And I can't not thank @aiscapades for helping me edit the text (most of the prettiest sentences are their...) if you ever write something I'll definitely devour it because you sublimed this headcanon...

Enjoy!! 🫶

TOUCHSTARVED HEADCANON🍒

Ais and Leander centered

⭐

The ambiance at the Wet Wick that night was quite festive, as it almost always was, but it was particularly noisy this time. The barman didn’t have a second to rest; every minute, someone went to the bar to order another drink. You were seated with Leander and Ais in a corner of the tavern, the three of you sharing a drink or several... The mood between you was light. Leander and Ais were lightheartedly sharing some death threats as usual, while you were listening to them, a grin on your face. You were pretty wasted because of all the drinks Leander suggested you try, while Ais was giving you a disapproving glance.  It felt kind of awkward to be the only drunk one around the table you thought while partially listening to whatever they were saying. You didn’t like being treated like an idiot, so you stopped the boys in one of their quarrels by slamming your hand in the center of the table. “Why am I the only one who can’t hold my drink here? I find it pretty unfair. Why did you make me drink so much?” Ais raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it’s about how badly you hold your drink, but much more because of how many of those weird drinks you got from Leander.” That remark made you pretty upset, and Leander’s laughter turned your cheeks more red than they already were. “I can’t refuse a challenge!” “Yeah, that’s the problem,” Ais added. Leander leaned over the table to get his face closer to yours. “You know, I’m pretty impressed you’re still alive with all that you drank.” You didn’t know if he was serious or not. The smile on his face could be a hint of sarcasm or genuine amazement… You were too drunk to guess which one it was anyway, so you started joking. “Oh babe… You know it’s hard to get rid of me.” “Really…?” Leander answered with a smirk on his face. The tension between the two of you started getting heavier… Did he want to make out with you or kill you? You had no idea, and you would never be able to know as Ais pulled Leander back on his chair by the collar of his jacket. “If you want to mate so badly, the room’s upstairs.” “We’re not animals,” you simply said. “Are you, Sparrow?” He grinned widely, proud of his teasing. “Har har. Very funny. I already told you to stop calling me that!” “Make me.” His lips were pulled back in a wide grin, his amusement giving a clear view of his fangs.

A sudden thought that you couldn’t restrain, popped in your head. Your alcoholised mind was making it hard for you to process any coherent thought, so you simply stood up and looked straight in Ais’ eyes. “Come.” You turned your head toward Leander, and stared at him in a weird way for a few seconds as if you wanted to tell him something by telepathy. But you didn't add any further clarification. Instead, you stood up from the table and made your way up the tavern stairs. “What the fuck…" Ais breathed, dumbfounded.  The two boys sat in silence for a while, gazes locked across the table, before Ais got up and joined you upstairs. The place was barely lit by a single candle in the corner of the room. Ais closed the door behind him before asking: “What’s wrong with you?” You took him by the shoulders to make him sit on your bed… But as strong as he was, there wasn't much you could do to actually make him do that. “Please, sit.” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t receive orders.” Though, when you tried to push him on your bed once again, he did sit. You were now face to face. His towering height usually made it hard for you to make eye contact, but you could do it effortlessly now. You climbed on the bed yourself, placing your knees at both extremities of his body, now placing yourself over him. You took his face between your hands and looked at it in detail from beneath you. He had a captivating red gaze, surrounded by pretty, long eyelashes. Long, dark strands of hair cut across his face, bisecting it just along his nose, but you still knew the angles of his features well. From the scar on his left eyebrow to his defined jawline, you looked at everything there was to see on his face. “Getting an eyeful, Sparrow?” You reddened. Sitting here next to him, you only now realized just how heavy your body felt from all those drinks. You swayed forward some, accidentally nudging Ais, which just sent him further down to the bed. Your face found a spot against his neck, and you inhaled a breath. He smelled good: his scent was a mix of cigarette, what seems to be some cologne and a bit of all the alcohol he drank earlier. Your heart started beating faster and you prayed for him not to notice. He couldn’t know you had feelings for him. It’s at this moment that his hands tensed on your shoulders, in an attempt to pull you back.

“Hey, get off. You’re clearly drunk.” But you didn't answer, nor did you move. He held firm, raising his voice a bit as he said once more, "Sparrow." What should've been an inquisitive prompt was instead flattened into a curt demand for a response.  He started to maneuver you onto your back, intending to just let you fall gently into the mattress, but he froze mid-action.  "You can't be serious..." he muttered, eyes wide.  You were sound asleep, still clinging to his arm. Ais sighed out of frustration one more time, asking himself what to do. But he didn’t think about it much longer. “Well… Let’s just stay here for tonight.” He put himself under the sheets, covering you with them at the same time.

⭐

You were cold. Goosebumps lined the flesh of your body. You slowly woke up, searching for your blanket. When you finally felt its fabric under your fingers, you grabbed it to cover yourself, but a stronger pull on the other edge of it almost tore your arm apart (once again…). You sat up on your bed with a start and gasped when you saw who was at the other edge. “What the… Ais?” What was he doing in your bed? Your first move was to look at how you were dressed, and when you noticed that you still had on the clothes you wore yesterday, you let out a relieved sigh. Ais got immediately woken up when you spoke and looked at you with annoyance. “Keep it down, would you?” “Hey! You’re the one in my room, stealing my blanket. What are you doing here?” But instead of answering, his head snapped toward something in the middle of the room. It was still dark outside, so it was hard for you to see what got his attention. “What is it?!” you asked, panicked. When your eyes finally adapted to the bit of light the moon was offering, a scream escaped from your mouth. “What the fuck?!” Leander was there, sat on a chair, feet laid on the low table of your bedroom. His arms were crossed and he was simply looking at the two of you from where he was, unblinking. “Is he… sleeping with his eyes open?” you asked Ais. But he didn’t answer. Leander did. “No, I’m awake.” He surprised you once more, and you let out another brief, startled scream. “Since when are you here?!” “Oh. Four hours maybe?” Your jaw dropped. How could he answer that with such casualness? “What… When do you sleep?” Leander got up from his chair and opened the door with a smile. “I don’t.” He left you completely agape. It wasn’t the first time Leander was giving off such strange vibes, but the more you got to know him, the weirder he was to you. When you turned toward Ais to ask him if what happened was a normal thing from Leander, you noticed he disappeared too. “Well…” You couldn’t find it in you to get back to sleep after what happened, and you stayed awake until you could see the sun rise. You told yourself that maybe you should talk to Kuras about what just happened; he was the most ‘normal’ one of this weird group, and you were going to need something for your hangover anyway… You’ll remember to lock your door next time.

[professorsparklepants]

Spotify | Youtube (lyricless) | Youtube (with translated lyrics)*

a voice came to me in a dream saying that i could make a life and death companions playlists using only kpop songs. and that voice? was kim dokja.

*flashing warning for Killing Me

TRACKLIST BELOW THE CUT

Illusion | aespa

Follow me, come and get illusion Swallow it all at once, delicious Irresistible bait, hook up Feeding on attention and growing up

Did I pick this song just because it had the word dokkaebi in it? Maybe. But you can't deny it's a starstream bop.

Deep | Hyo

Hiding sharp teeth, tension with you I predict eyes to eyes, explore it with you Oh you can take it? Won't be easy, you'll see Like the waves I'll hit you, whip up the water, deeper into me

This was the last song I added, but "two sharks circling each other in the water as a metaphor for a relationship" is SO early joongdok.

Camo | BoA

Hey baby, in the darkness with all the lights off I've hidden my shadow, I can't be tied down To some place tonight, my face has changed My heart is moving, but my camouflage will hide it I still don't know, yeah, my own heart The thick colors of the camouflage cover up the new world that'll surprise me

The dowager queen of kpop delivers a Kim Dokja song through and through.

Drunk-Dazed | ENHYPEN

I feel it, my head's in a daze daze daze I'm addicted, I replay-play-play The way you want it, go as far as you can to reach it Trapped in the carnival wow wow

[slaps Yoo Joonghyuk] this boy can fit so much timeloop trauma inside him

Want | Taemin

(Hot, Hot) Teasing you slowly (Hot, hot) Making you fall for me without limit (Hot, hot) Waking you up from the silence underneath your deep sea (Hot, hot) Will leave you wanting more, thirsting for more

I can't do a kpop themed shipping playlist and NOT include the King of Hoe Anthems himself.

Devil By the Window | TXT

Waste, waste away in the gutter with me No, I can't tell what is fake in my reality I see the waves, see the waves wash over me Oh, stay, you can stay when you're tempted to leave

Deja Vu | Dreamcatcher

Me deleting Lucifer by SHINee from the playlist because the lyrics don't fit: OTL

Me when I find another kpop song about Devils that's also way gayer: 😈

So now, I'm holding this pain Like you, who has thrown everything away Each day gets clearer Endlessly before me, oh deja vu Oh deja vu, oh deja vu, Oh deja vu, so I've fallen now Till the day I run out of breath, I can't let you go again Because we'll spend every moment together Don't get any further away from me

This is the only surviving entry from when this was 100% a joke playlist and not partially serious.

Psycho | Red Velvet

You got me feeling like a psycho, psycho People keep telling us As we fight like it's our last but then we get along They don't get it, it's so funny

Dysfunctional relationship anthem.

Killing Me | Chungha

Forgotten again these days The time has stopped When does it end? Try to pretend I'm used to it by now Something just fell apart What fell is the broken heart Future is trapped and has collapsed Everything is because of you

Is is really a joongdok playlist without at least one depressed breakup song?

Fiction | Highlight (formerly Beast)

Like this again (fiction in fiction) I can't end it (fiction in fiction) I am writing the story that will never end in my heart I will hold onto you (fiction in fiction) I won't let you go (fiction in fiction) I'm in the story of you and i that hasn't ended still, even today in fiction

I know Kim Dokja is the reader and not the writer but I couldn't NOT.

Heroine | Sunmi

In this drama of just us two The true hero was you, baby Yeah today you're being you Like a brilliant hero Just do as you have always done Even if that's playing the villain Even if that makes me sad You've got to be yourself Even if that hurts me, even if it's a sad ending The show must go on

This is the first song I added, honestly. Perfect for them.

What Can I Do | Day6

What am I to you? Do you even have feelings for me? Every time I meet you, you change Feels like I know you, but then I don't You meet all the people in the world but you have no time to give me? You're too much, why do you drive me so crazy?

I found this on a list of the gayest kpop songs.

Star | Loona

You're in my mind when I'm asleep I'm seeing stars sink in these dreams I don't wanna spend these hours with nobody else I'm in your mind, you're my dreams I'm freaking out I don't wanna leave But so selfishly I want you and nobody else

I debated between Voice (Korean version) and Star (English version) but then I realized Star has lines that can be read as the possession thing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Untouchable | Everglow

Tell me now, tell me now you want me Your feeling can be seen clearly like mine You and I are like one, we're so alike Talk about, talk about us, I want you My feeling can be seen clearly like yours Whatever people say, we're untouchable

Battle couple anthem.

Feel Special | Twice

You make me feel special No matter how the world brings me down Even when hurtful words stab me I smile again cause you're there That's what you do One moment I feel like I'm nothing at all Like no one would notice if I were gone But then when I hear you calling me, I feel loved I feel so special

When I realized I could put this song on this playlist I cackled.

Fairy of Shampoo | TXT

I don't feel lonely when I see you Even if I'm with my sad heart It just disappears far away Dear, you are my fairy of shampoo From this moment on, I will love you

This song is so fucking funny. Me and the woman from a shampoo commercial I have a parasocial relationship with.

Survive the Night | The Boyz

A crying child pouring starlight I got lost in the night I'm still lost there Though I realize it all I have to get out of here, warning warning warning Towards you running running running Small fragments and intersecting sensations only faint traces remember you I endure the dawn without you again, oh yeah

[pours one out for Kim Dokja's entire personal timeline]

Into the New World | Girls Generation

I love you, just like this The longed end of wandering I leave behind this world's unending sadness In the many unknowable paths I follow a dim light It's something we'll do together to the end Into my new world

Joongdok can have a protest song about reaching the end of the scenarios together. As a treat.

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

S2 Ep14 of TBB Thoughts!!

oh frick, oh darn, oh heck

HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER HOWZER

I need to stop eating breakfast while I watch these eps, eventually im gonna gasp so hard I'll choke on some food (this is based on me almost choking on my food when HOWZER showed up)

So I knew Echo'd be in this one, but I was actually also a 100% Rex would be there too, so I was a little bummed about that? like why would they release Rex's poster now if he isn't gonna be in the ep? and like ik this is a show about the batch, so they wanna show off Echo and I love that for him bc I love Echo but like,,, Rex🥺 yanno?

that being said, Echo and his team infiltrating that ship, fcking GREGOR?? amazing, loving that shit, eating it up

another suicide? this is getting intense. like this season has given us deeply seeded political issues about clone rights, depictions of blood, brainwashing and two suicides?? like??? things are heating up, the writers are getting more real and I actually kinda,,, love that even though its intense

CROSS MY BOY🥺🥺🥺🥺

clone sipping coffee :)

ye :)

me @ howzer:

he knows someone, eh? THAT'LL BE MY MANS TECH :DDDD

ofc he snatched the gun, you rlly coulda seen that one coming dipstick

it struck me as really odd that Crosshair didn't shoot the female doctor. like the rest of the batch and most of the clones use stun guns ALL THE TIME whereas Crosshair has always shot to kill. again, "severe and unyielding", meaning he takes intense action, committing all the way all the while being so stubborn he hardly ever backs down. honestly, him sparing her is some serious character development. he recognised she was being kind to him and he decided that that was enough reason not to hurt her. either that, or he wanted to abuse her kindness later on

he never wanted to get out, he just wanted to warn his brothers, which is AGAIN SO DIFFERENT from the Cross we've gotten to know in these last two seasons. I actually don't think that's growth anymore. that's Crosshair standing by a choice that he knew was bad for far too long (SEVERE. AND. UNYIELDING.) and now finally admitting he was wrong and going back to what he always wanted and always knew to be right.

ALSO I JUST WITNESSED CROSSHAIR MISS A SHOT TWICE LIKE WTH??? THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

partially rebuilt Pabu :)))

Hunter being questioned abt being more than just a soldier lol

like sir, the answer is "I am dad, actually."

TECH AND OMEGA FLYING TOGETHER

CACKLING

HE ADJUSTED HIS GOGGLES TWICE IN LIKE 3 MINUTES

HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS FEARING FOR HIS LIVE I AM DYING WITH LAUGHTER FCK

"Up. Up! Up, Omega, pull up!" <- im sorry but Tech's always been just,,, so cool in stressful situations, like almost dying, no biggie. falling out of the sky in a storage box and having a heavy object crush your leg, naaahh we got this. fcking staring a Zillo Beast dead in the eye as it growls at you, easy as pie. omega's flying? panic

"The Tech-Turn? really?" "Now that is not what it is called, but I rather like it. I suggest you proceed before I come to my sen-- AAAAAHHHH."

D Y I N G

did Echo only race Omega to torture Tech? yes, why do you ask?

okay listen I love him, but without his kama Echo looks half naked

TECH FCKING STUMBLING OUT THE SHIP I CAN'T

HUGGIES!!!! ECHO AND OMEGA HUGGIES!! :DDDDD

hmmm the summit huh??? interesting

Tech sounded so worried when he called Hunter over??? waaaaaahhh

Hemlock? more like Hemcock (yes I've been waiting a while to make that joke leave me alone)

YES CROSS IS WARNING YOU. NO HUNTER YOU CAN TRUST HIM GO AFTER HIM GO FIND YOUR BROTHER HE NEEDS YOUR HELP GODDAMN WAAAAAAAAAAAHGGH

Crosshair being offered his freedom and just stubbornly staring back? Severe and unyielding hero edition. I love him, Hunter go get him pls he needs you.

help why did this one feel so short

[3kiripima3]

Hi!! I’d love to request a matchup for Hazbin Hotel! (could I please not be matched with Valentino or Nifty?) <33

my pronouns are she/her and I’m asexual biromantic (I’d prefer a male character but if you think one of the girls fits me best any gender is fine). I’m an ESFJ and a Gemini. I have green eyes and dyed cherry red hair. I dress with vintage/“fairy grunge” clothes. Long skirts and corsets are my fav type of outfit. I wear lots of rings and crystal/pearl necklaces and love to exchange them with others. I also have tattoos, currently I have three but I’m planning to get more. I love to wear makeup and come up with something creative and different everyday. Also if someone lets me do their makeup they’ll have my heart forever.

I’m the mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own. I love making others laugh to lighten the situation. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else but sometimes it’s hard for me to say no to things. I also dislike when someone is too serious and really can’t take a joke as I tend to use humor as my coping mechanism. I’m also very ambitious, I always try to achieve my goals.

My love languages are, receiving, physical touch and words of affirmation and giving, quality time and words of affirmation.

I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading (I love reading out loud to others, when I read dialogues I act them out a little to help picture the scene). I especially love fantasy and I recently got into greek mythology. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me. I also play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends anytime I can. also, I absolutely love musicals and I’m definitely a theatre kid.

Have a great day!! :)

Hi! Thanks for the request! After some consideration, I think I'd pair you with…

Velvette!

I personally feel like she'd be perfect for you!

Velvette would assuredly love your sense of fashion. I can see her personally making you numerous clothing items that fit your style and vibe. I feel like she would let you do her makeup a lot, however she'd probably not allow you to do whatever you want and give you a specific sort of look to do.

She'd thrive off of having you there to be comforting and more responsible. As she 100% gets sick and tired of having to deal with Vox and Val all the time, so she'd appreciate having someone there to care for her as well. Although, she will not often admit it to you.

Velvette respects you being ambitious and loves that about you as she's also rather ambitious and goal driven.

She may not be the type to often verbalise her positive thoughts about things, but she'd try with those she loves. However, she'd be clingy as fuck with you.

Velvette doesn't read books much, but if you read to her, she'd enjoy it. However, I see her having a tendency to get attached to characters and partially blaming you if they die in a book you're reading to her.

Thanks for requesting! I hope this is good enough for you :)

[freesidexjunkie]

NSFW alphabet tag post

Tagged by the amazing and wonderful @commander-krios!! I am. A little too ace for some of these, so some answers are gonna be partial or skipped. I'm also doing both Sarissa (Dragon Age/solavellan) and Maevris (BG3/durgetash) because some of these I feel like i have answers for one and not the other. Sometimes both.

Leaving this open for anyone who wants to but i also specifically feel like. @spaceratprodigy. you got some ideas abt faith and max don't you? 👀👀

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Sarissa: very clingy, touchy snuggling. Like, every square inch of skin on skin contact available clingy. Like, stay locked in an embrace in the same position you were in at the end for hours kind of snuggling. Probably very much "okay now stroke my hair and tell me you love me" vibes. Not a "okay now we're done see you later" kind of person. She's gonna stay there for ages afterwards hugging and saying dorky cute things.

Maevris: probably depends? If it's just a casual thing she's probably ready to leave right after. If it's with gort less casual, probably some more emotionally intimate stuff like snuggling and maybe helping each other clean up etc.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Idk what their favorite parts of their own bodies would be, but

Sarissa's favorite part of Solas is probably gonna be forearms/hands. I feel like he'd have those really hot arms that look good in rolled up sleeves. You know the ones i mean.

Maevris: listen. He's not called Enver Gortit for nothing. Those bitches are pillowy. Heavenly. Grade A++ tits.

C = Cum

Gonna be honest. This is not a part of sex that I think about very much. Both for asexual reasons and for sensory reasons. But i will say that in all the stuff i write between Mae and Gort, pull out game is the last thing on their mind. If you catch my drift.

D = Dirty Secret

Idk man i think Mae's deepest darkest secret is that she actually does enjoy being loved and cared for and treated tenderly. Which is disgusting. To her.

E = Experience

In terms of Sarissa: i kind of alluded to this in the latest chapter, and i have more in depth stuff about it in my character notes. She was like 20 when the Inquisition started and very... not exactly introverted, but it's hard to go have a normal life in your clan when you don't have any family and you're basically the heir to the person taking care of everyone? She's got Aang in the air temple syndrome kinda. She didn't really get opportunities to explore relationships before the Inquisition, let alone anything physical. So, when she leaves home and starts hooking up for the first time with the well mannered hobo apostate elf and he ends up... doing what he does. Well. It certainly adds an extra layer of betrayal and sting to the situation (: She did try to date around a bit (or at least rebound) after the whole Trespasser thing but. Well. Trauma and trust issues (((: i promise i love her i just have to Put Her Through It

F = Favourite Position

Mae is 100% a pillow princess. Okay. So her favorite positions are going to be anything that lets her sit back and let someone else drive. Idk if that counts towards positions necessarily but there you go. Sarissa's favorites are again gonna be anything super touchy and close and clingy. She would probably very much prefer to be facing her partner and very entangled.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Sarissa is 100% a little goofy. Mostly in terms of like. Bad jokes and innuendos and anything a little silly. Mae is probably a little more serious, just by virtue of being a lot more no nonsense (especially when Gortash is doing something she considers nonsense (like flirting with her while she pretends to be unbothered)).

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Iirc, elves in Dragon Age don't have a lot of body hair to begin with (comparatively). But Sarissa is Dalish, so. Like yeah she's very on top of her hygiene (you have to be when you're outside 95% of your life) but. She would be very much natural in terms of hair. Whatever amount is natural for elves i guess.

For Mae, idk enough about tiefling biology to know about their body hair, but all the tiefs I've seen in the game are pretty hairless? And while yeah she might not bat an eye at being covered in blood and guts, she does have meticulous personal hygiene routines. And very extra ones. She's a cult leader and part god and her boyfriend probably has multiple mansions with the finest bath oils and soaps and etc etc. She's pampered as fuck in that aspect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Oh yeah, the romantic aspect is my bread and butter baybee. They're both very emotionally and romantically driven in the moment, though Mae is more loathe to admit it. For Sarissa, it's more of a giggly, butterflies, "you are my person and i just want to be with you all the time" kind of intimacy, whereas for Maevris it's more like. This crushing need to be touched, to be held, to have sweet words of affirmation and affection whispered to her. To be cared for and wanted. Like an anchor, like clinging onto a lifeboat in the middle of an insanely awful and fucked up storm.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

This is another thing i just don't really think about for asexual reasons lol. But going off vibes alone first thought without really considering much detail? Sarissa not really, Maevris sometimes maybe?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Maevris my beloved you are never going to escape the praise kink allegations if i have anything to say about it. Also the bratty allegations. More on that later maybe?

L = Location (Favourite places to do the deed)

For Sarissa, my first thought was "probably in nature, that would make sense right" but on further thought. I think a picturesque outdoors spot would be a lovely idea to her, but the most enticing aspect of any location would probably be the privacy. Which is hard to get outdoors. Growing up Dalish you learn not to take privacy for granted, so having her own private quarters in Haven and in Skyhold to do ~whatever~ she wanted was a very welcome novelty. Not to say she was above indulging in other locations, though.

For Maevris, probably those big fancy satiny luxurious beds Enver has. Like, we saw the temple of Bhaal. That bedroom isn't shabby. But the unnecessarily lavish and showy and decadent beds Enver has (for impressing company and not himself, we know damn well that man will sleep curled up in his workshop if it's just him) are...something else. A bit like stepping into a different world.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

I saved this one for last bc it was stumping me the most and im still at a loss for like. Specific turn ons? I guess? But in general for Sarissa it would be the kinds of things that give her butterflies and catch her off guard in sweet ways. Like hearing Solas refer to her as his anything (partner, love, vhenan, etc etc) to someone else would make her insides do a little happy dance; hearing him say it directly to her in a ~private moment~ would short circuit her brain (in a good way). Innocent little things like a hand on her back as he passes, bringing her something she didn't realize she needed. He's probably got a lot of court rizz that would set her insides on fire when he used it. For Mae, i think she likes the challenge; or specifically, being the challenge. Very "what are you gonna do about it" "oh yeah? prove it" kind of girl. Homegirl wants to be cornered like a hare and she wants to sass the fox the whole time. This is all a bit of a front to hide the fact that she just wants someone else to be in control and tell her she's a good girl.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sarissa's would be multiple people at once. Threesomes and such wouldn't be her vibe. My soft girl also wouldn't be super comfortable with anything rough or harsh. For Mae, i know this puts me in the minority for durges, but anything to do with like. Sexualizing her specifically for the murder and violence aspect? That's her day job, she is taking over the family business but not bc she's super passionate about her work. Not that the violence and blood itself is the turn off part of that, but feeling like she's almost being used as someone else's fantasy? She's above that. She's a child of a god and she's the Chosen of a god. She's nobody's bucket list lay.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I'm positive there's a tweet somewhere from Patrick Weekes saying that Solas definitely eats out so. There's that for Sarissa. But I haven't given it a ton of thought ig. I will say that as far as Mae's concerned? Gale isn't the only ambitious Chosen in Baldur's Gate with a practiced tongue. (as i may have written in this fic)

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

All i can think to say for pace is that Mae is definitely very needy. Like, desperate bucking kind of needy. Idk if that counts as pace?

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

I don't think either of them would be opposed to it vs like, something long and drawn out and w/e? It would probably be depend on the situation but i doubt either of them would be super against it?

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

I am certain Solas learned a lot of neat tricks in his "explorations of the Fade" and Sarissa is definitely down to learn. For Maevris, i feel like it almost goes without saying that any durgetash pairing is gonna have a very high tolerance for risk.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Uhhh. No idea. Their stamina is however long i can write without running out of new words for penis, i guess.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

This is another one i just haven't really put much thought into for ace reasons. But for Mae at least, i feel like if you date an artificer, there's gonna be some kind of invention or tool brought in eventually...?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ahahaha did i mention that Mae is kind of bratty? Did you check out the fic I linked earlier? Not so much that she likes to tease, but that she has. A certain enjoyment in pretending to be annoyed at Enver's teasing. And in being vocal about not going along with it while she's very enthusiastically going along with it

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Let me plug another fic for Mae to say that she has no problem being loud and no problem being heard by others. With the right inducement, that is.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sarissa is definitely aspec. She has a lot of parts of my personal experience and make up and that's one of them.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Both AFAB

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Okay so when i think of yearning, i think of the soul crushing, deep seated emotional need for someone that feels like your throat is closing up and you need them like you need to breathe. Which is definitely Mae when she lets herself be a little more vulnerable. For Sarissa, depending heavily on the point in her story, it's less all encompassing inescapable yearning and more touchy, constant hand holding/arm linking/hugging yearning and definitely "okay but if i do get you alone i wouldn't say no to anything that meant being closer to you."

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sarissa is gonna be snrk mimimi not long after most times. She is also not going to let go. We're going to bed now, comrade kinda deal.

this was really fun to write and think abt, thank you so much for tagging meeee 💖💖 some picrews of my two wonderful and perfect girls that i be putting thru situations for those who stuck thru to the end

[pippin-katz]

I have an update on my standing. I am now definitely 100% sure that this was at least partially improvised.

Evidence:

GIF by @smuchshypush

Slowed down, you can see really clearly how Nicholas starts to say something before Taylor cuts him off with the "careful" comment. I don't know if he was about to say a line, or say they needed to do a retake cause he messed the buttons up, or what, but he was going to say something, but Taylor speaks and reaches up to help, and Nick is definitely a tiny bit surprised.

I assume that Taylor was always supposed to help with the buttons, but that there was a different route to it, a different set of lines that led up to it.

Because I highly doubt Taylor would start undoing the buttons completely improvised, as that, while not being nearly as intimate as anything else they do, would count as a boundary that needed to be agreed upon and choreographed to cross. It's still an interaction that has Taylor intrude on his personal space.

If I was trying to fix something with my clothes, and my mother started trying to help without me asking, I would immediately snap at her.

But obviously, they're fine with it, and the surprise only lasts for a couple seconds; he's probably thinking, "oh, okay, we're just going to try to make the scene work anyway, keep going".

But as I said in the original post, they were constantly trying to make each other laugh. They likely already fumbled a little bit, and Taylor even also struggles with the first button for a second, so Nick probably thought it was the perfect time to make a joke, even if he stayed in character to do it.

That's when he makes the comment about the buttons, which is the line I think he improvised:

And Taylor was probably like, "two can play at this game" and stayed composed to quip back with the fake-serious voice and pull on his shirt:

Which is how we get back to the beginning, and what my original post said. Nick's smile looks extremely genuine, like he actually thinks the situation is funny, not Henry.

If we're focused on this being the characters, Henry's reaction is a bit more than necessary. It's not that funny if we're thinking about it from that angle. Henry struggles with the buttons, Alex helps, Henry makes a dry comment, and Alex responds with one.

The dry wit conversations don't usually have Henry grinning like this. He usually has an amused smirk on his face whenever they're bantering.

But if you look at it as Taylor and Nick, it makes a lot more sense that struggling with the buttons is so funny, especially if you consider that it's possible that they have an inside joke about them. Maybe it was a common mistake when filming that scene.

Taylor also has an air of satisfaction about him once Nick laughs. He was obviously trying to be funny. He has a smile on his face when he says the line, but it grows as soon as he sees that it worked.

GIF by @smuchshypush

And that is why I believe the buttons comments were improvised.

This wasn't supposed to be this long! How does this keep happening to me? I've been working on this for hours!!

Granted, you could subtract at least an hour of looking for fucking GIFs because the tumblr GIF searching system is broken and stupid.

I swear to god, I would have my draft open, and then have another tab open with the original post of the GIFs I wanted to use, be looking at the tags, and type one (usually one I think will have less posts) in exactly into the search bar, then somehow I'm scrolling for miles and reach the "end" without ever seeing the GIFs I KNOW are under that tag. I'm looking right at a GIF post with "rwrbedit" tagged under it. I know it exists. I'm literally looking at it. I can see the tag. Yet somehow, it's not there!! Wahoo! Time to try a different tag on the post and try again!

Actual hours have been lost to this bullshit. Sometimes I fucking give up and copy the image address and tag the creator because I want to be respectful, but god I can't keep searching. I'm losing my mind.

Anyway, that's all! Thanks for reading lmfao

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

In all the pre-conducted interviews I've read about Taylor and Nicholas doing the intimate scenes, they always tried to make the other laugh to keep them from getting too in their own heads about what they were doing and stay comfortable with each other.

With that in mind, I am almost 100% sure that this moment was them trying to make each other laugh:

Maybe Taylor was scripted to help him with the shirt, but I feel like the comment about the buttons wasn't there initially, cause Nicholas' grin looks like he genuinely thinks it's funny, rather than just the giddy laughs and smiles they do in other scenes when they're excited.

However, I wonder how much of that was them just getting the giggles and it working for their characters. They are adorable bastards lmfao

Gifs courtesy of @phakphumm who I’m crediting this way cause I couldn’t find the gifs through scrolling so I had to copy-paste them but that removes the original poster’s name for some reason

[orbitalpirate]

So I was thinking about your post where you asked about shipping O'Brien and Paul.

And I don't ship them, not because of anything to do with the ship, but because I have been converted to Reysanya as a ship and my brain struggles with multi-shipping.

But then I was left wondering what to do with O'Brien. Because he deserves love too.

And then it came to me. Who would 100% be down to accommodate Tom's coprophilia? Who also deserves love and was robbed of it in the series' run?

Willis Beard.

So my question is twofold. First off, what name should be bestowed upon this blessed pair? O'Beard? Brienbeard? Tomillis?

And second, and possibly more importantly, am I insane? Do I need help?

Firslty, hell yeah Reysanya, let Paul date his daughters babysitter and golden boy Sam Obisanya. I am very partial to Tomillis.

This ship is captivating as hell to me because there is no way it starts until like after s3 like Beard has all the Jane drama and gets out! He gets out! And suddenly he's single again. And alone without Ted in London. And he's lived here for three years but only one month of that time was as a single man. And man he sure could use some no strings attached BDSM right now to center himself. And he wants to go somewhere that's good find someone fun. And the only person he knows for sure is into this lifestyle is O'Brien. So he asks and Tom is like... if you want to defecate on me coach your welcome to and Beard is like Tom I'm serious are their any clubs or bars in the area and Tom is like well I was being serious but yeah I can show you some places. And Tom is fucking posh and a rich boy through and through and Beard didn't expect to like hanging out with him but Tom is funny and affectionate and sweet. And Beard knows that there's something growing I'm terms I'd his feelings but he's the guys boss and he's 23 years older than him so he bails. Because he won't hurt Tom and he doesn't even think Tom's interested in men. The entire time Tom has been making jokes about them hooking up and being "cheeky" because he's interested but Beard doesn't know that. The guys start making jokes that Beard and Tom are rivaling Jamie and Roy in weird coach player dynamics and Tom will be like no Roy and Jamie are obsessed with eachother, Beard isn't obsessed with me. Tom learns that Beards name is Willis before Roy does. When Tom realizes the sex stuff is what made Beard pull back he says fine, let's be regular friends then. And they start talking. Sobriety and mental health. Bad relationships and bad bdsm. Tom's lingering hamstring pain. Tom worrying about retirement. Beard worrying about returning to meth and/or Jane. Tom is in love with Beard. Beard will never know.

[haptureratch]

NYE 2023

I could have spent it chasing after yet another weird man I don't understand. Or with a man who falls short as if he wants things to not work out.

Instead I spent it with my parents. We had a great dinner, like really great. Came back to their house and watched a few movies. First was Elvis (lol I didn't want to since it reminds me of Gabi but eh whatever I didn't pay much attention to the whole thing). Next was Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (lolol). Gran Turismo was last (partially watched).

Midnight I was actually going to spend at home alone reading. But the movies kept coming and I just stayed. Dad snoozed on and off. Mom and I talked about mental health and Nick. I was harsh about it, my protectors out, chests puffed with authority. But I also really just wanted her to understand they have all the power in this situation; I need her to feel empowered to not fall for any manipulation.

Anyway, once I was for sure staying, I was gonna go outside near midnight to stand in the smoke under the crackling lights and booming pops of the sky. But Mom fell asleep on me while I rubbed at her sore elbow and that was it for me. The fireworks swelled at midnight and Dad stirred but she stayed still.

The oxytocin was 🤌🏻 chefs kiss

At dinner they brought up a will that they'll be writing. They'd been wanting to bring it up for some time apparently. I joked we'd never need to talk about it bc they'd live to 100 each and they'd live off their savings for all those decades. But they were insistent so I got serious. Bring it on, pretty much.

I really just don't want it to be any time soon. I want to live so much with them that a world without them will be the most foreign thing. And I hope they're healthy right up until the end; for their sake or mine I am not sure.

Anyway.

There'd better be a fucking mirrorball for me in 2024. 🤘🏼

[violetclarity]

good news my Vaccine Rollout Anger has morphed and come back as KEEP WEARING YOUR FUCKING MASK YOU UNVACCINATED IDIOTS, I’M MAD AT THE CDC AND THE STATE AND THE COMPANY WE WORK FOR BECAUSE THEY TOLD US WE COULD STOP WEARING MASKS BUT I’M EQUALLY MAD AT YOU FOR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE HONOR SYSTEM (WHICH WE SHOULDN’T BE USING FOR THIS ANYWAY!!)

[viastro]

bookworm | jeon wonwoo

ミ★ synopsis: who knew that the cute guy you met at the library is one of the best players on the football team? literally everyone but you.

ミ★ genre: high school!au, jock!au, humor, fluff

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 3,171

ミ★ pairings: wonwoo x female reader

ミ★ notes: i will be tagging @babiesanshine​ because she told me i have to tag her in anything i write that involves wonwoo. here’s a cute little oneshot i wrote, i hope you guys enjoy it <3

The weather isn’t too cold. It’s at the temperature you like, where it’s not too hot, not too cold, but a good medium. However, it’s a sign that summer is truly ending, and you’re somehow going to miss it. Even if you did spend a majority of it staying in your room, either playing video games or sleeping. What can you say? Summer is truly the time to unwind. 

But today your mom had other ideas, having woken you up at ten in the morning. She told you to do something ‘productive’ with your last week of summer, aka, go the fuck outside. It’s now one pm in the afternoon, and you’re driving to the library because why the hell not? You’ve never been to the library before, and it’s your senior year of high school. Might as well see what books they have in case you’ll need to do a quick run to the library because of your classes. 

You stick your hand out the window, doing small wave motions while the air hits it. While you spent most of summer inside, you love the vibe it brings. It’s just the idea of being able to be free for three months, without the stress of deadlines, group projects, or finals. Smiling at the feeling of being free, you turn into the parking lot, parking your car under the tree. Turning off the engine, you step out of the car, letting out a small sigh as you stare at the old library. You straighten out your skirt, before walking towards the entrance, phone and wallet in your bag. 

You step into the library, giving the librarian a small smile in greeting. She gives you a happy wave, before going back to her work. You glance at your surroundings, taking in the ambiance of the building. It’s a bit brighter than other libraries you’ve seen, the wooden shelves being painted white, and the walls having a floral detail to them. It has a more happy theme I guess you could say. You let out a breath, somehow feeling like you’re going to come here more often at the cozy feeling it gives you. 

“Nice.” You whisper, before walking further inside. Your hand reaches out towards the shelves, letting it drag softly across the numerous books lined up. You perk up at a sudden thought and you head towards the kids section, wondering if they have your favorite children's books. You’re so caught up in thinking about the frog and toad series that you quite literally slam into someone and fall backwards.

You let out a squeak, closing your eyes as your hands prepare to soften the impact, only for you to realize that you’re no longer falling. You register the arms wrapped around your waist, and you’re 100% convinced that you’re being abducted by aliens. You slowly open your eyes, and they immediately widen once they land on the person who caught you.

His black hair is fluffy and falls over his forehead. He’s wearing specs, slightly covering his strong nose. You take notice of his eyes, a pretty shape that would make him seem more intimidating if he wasn’t wearing his round glasses. His lips are really pink, and he’s absolutely the most handsome guy you’ve ever laid eyes on in your seventeen years of living. He gives you a smile, and you feel as if you’re going to faint because, 

what the fuck !!! he’s so pretty !!!! this is fucking illegal !!!!

“Are you okay?”

oh my god !?!?! his voice is so deep too !!!!! i’m literally going to go into cardiac arrest-

“Um, hello?” He releases an arm from your waist, waving his hand in front of your face to see if you’ve passed out with your eyes open, and you almost fall into an internal monologue again because holy shit he’s only holding me with one arm, but then your eyes widen. You immediately fix your stance, his other arm falling from your waist as you are now standing on your own. 

“I… am so sorry.” You mutter, and he chuckles at your wide eyes. You open your mouth to apologize again and he shakes his head, smiling softly at you. “It’s alright, it’s partially my fault too. I’m just glad I caught you before you fell.” 

i quite literally fell in another way i won’t lie to you luv x

“Thank you for doing that. Saved my ass from some bruising.” You joke, only to shut your eyes at how suggestive that sounds. He gives you an amused look, finding you more endearing the more you speak. You don’t dare look at him, deciding that staring into the darkness of your eyelids is much more preferable at this moment as you would very much rather choke. He lets out a laugh, “It’s okay, you can open your eyes. Sometimes things sound a lot more suggestive than they should. It is what it is.”

You slowly peek at him, and see that he’s smiling at you. You stand up straight, letting out a small cough into your elbow, before grinning back at him. He extends his hand towards you, “Hi, I’m Jeon Wonwoo, 17 years old.” 

You stare at his hand for a second, somehow surprised that his hands are also really pretty. You reach out and softly grasp his hand, “Hi, I’m yln yn, 17 as well.” 

The two of you stay like that for a moment, him wondering how your hand fits his so well, and you thinking of how you’d really like to continue holding his hand. You regretfully let go first, giving him a smile. 

“So, what brings you to the library on the last week of summer break?” Wonwoo grins, giving you a shrug.

“I had a mission to read every book in this library, and I think I’m almost done.” You tilt your head at him, leaning back on the shelves and sizing him up. You purse your lips, and he crosses his arms in an attempt to make himself look more serious.

“Oh really?” 

“No, the mission was just for this science-fiction section actually.” He answers, dropping his tough facade and  motioning towards the aisle the two of you are in. You giggle at his antics, and Wonwoo feels his heart warm at the sound, proud that he was able to be the cause of it. “Why’d you exaggerate it then?” 

He turns his head towards you, giving you a big smile. “Wanted to impress you.” 

You look away when you feel your face turn warm at his honesty, reaching up and rubbing the back of your neck. You smile, turning back towards him once an idea comes to your mind.

“Wanna read children's books with me instead?” He purses his lips, before grinning at you.

“Only if we start off with frog and toad books.” 

“What kind of person would I be if we didn’t start off with frog and toad, Wonwoo?”

“I like you already.”

“It’s been a month since I last saw you, and you wanna meet up at the big football game?” You ask into the phone, an amused smile on your face. You hear Wonwoo chuckle on the other end, “It’ll be fun. I can introduce you to some of my friends.” 

You raise an eyebrow, rolling over on your bed so that you’re now staring at your ceiling. You purse your lips, realizing that you can also introduce your best friend to Wonwoo, considering that she’s been incredibly curious of the guy at the library. Otherwise known as, 

your summer fling that isn’t really a summer fling because you guys haven’t done anything romantic other than smile at each other. 

Since school started, you and Wonwoo have been too busy to hangout. You thought he was a new student at your school since you surely would’ve remembered someone as handsome as him, but to your surprise, he wasn’t. Once you got home from your first day of school, you immediately called Wonwoo and asked what school he goes to. Turns out he goes to the high school on the other side of town, your school’s biggest rival when it comes to football. 

never expected him to be interested in football, let alone the biggest game of the year since our schools are competing against each other, but i miss wonwoo a lot.

“I’m intrigued.”��

“Is that a yes?” Wonwoo asks, a big smile on his face as he waits for your answer. He hears Seungcheol and Jeonghan make kissy noises from behind him, and he rolls his eyes. You grin, letting out a sigh to make it sound like you’re not as excited as you actually are. 

“I suppose it is. I’ll see you on Friday then bookworm?” You tease, and you hear him let out a chuckle, causing you to giggle yourself. 

“Yes you will gamer. I’ll text you later, my friends are being annoying.” Wonwoo tells you, laughing at the sound of Seungcheol and Jeonghan now whining at the fact that he insulted them. You smile, opening your mouth to say bye when Wonwoo adds, “I miss you. I’ll see you on Friday.”

Your cheeks heat up, and you hear Wonwoo’s friends in the background teasing him once again. Running a hand through your hair you mutter, “I miss you too. See you soon, Wonwoo.”

You end the call, placing your phone beside you. You bite your lip, big smile on your face, before grabbing your pillow and shoving it over your face. 

“aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

“Okay, where’s your boyfriend?” Jihyo asks once the two of you enter the venue, and you nudge her shoulder. “He’s not my boyfriend! Don’t call him that in front of him and his friends alright? I’ll literally eat your ass if you do that.” 

Jihyo winks at you, and you roll your eyes, causing her to throw her head back in laughter. She holds your arm, giving you a squeeze to show you she’s just teasing. You pull out your phone, curious as to which area Wonwoo and his friends are sitting, only to see his new text, 

wonoot: i’m running a bit late, just go and sit on the bleachers and i’ll find you later <3

You pout, “He’s running a bit late, but he told us that he’ll find us when he gets here.” 

“Okay, I think the game’s about to start so let’s go find a spot before everything gets taken!” Jihyo tells you with a smile, pulling you towards the stands. The two of you find a spot in the third row of the middle bleachers, giving you a solid view of the football field. You place your water bottle in the spot Wonwoo will sit, and you pull out your phone to tell him where you and Jihyo are sitting.

you: we’re in the third row, middle bleachers !!

“Those football uniforms really highlight their asses. Even if they don’t really have one, in those uniforms they do.” Jihyo says, and you snort at how true her statement is. You look up, seeing the football players running onto the field. You’re about to open your mouth to respond, when you catch sight of one of the players from the opposing team taking off his helmet. “Oh? That looks a lot like Wonwoo’s friend, Jeonghan. I didn’t know he played.” 

“He’s cute.” Jihyo mutters appreciatively beside you, and you nod your head. Wonwoo has a lot of pictures of his friend group on Instagram, and it shocked you to see that all of them are handsome. 

how you wished the guys at your school looked like this.

You watch as they all go to stand on the line, getting their names called over the loudspeakers. You tilt your head to the side when almost half of the opposing football team is filled with Wonwoo’s friends. “That’s so weird, almost all of Wonwoo’s friends are on their school’s football team.” 

“And Wonwoo isn’t?” Jihyo asks, turning to glance at you as she prepares to take a sip of water. You shake your head, before letting out a small giggle, “Probably because he’s a bookworm-”

“Now we have #96, wide receiver Jeon Wonwoo.” Your mouth drops open, and Jihyo spits out her water back into the bottle. You stare with wide eyes as #96 takes off his helmet, revealing Wonwoo who’s sporting a big smile on his face. He runs a hand through his hair, revealing his forehead and strong eyebrows. 

“Y-your summer fling...”

“He’s a jock?!” 

Wonwoo squints at the middle bleachers, trying to find you from across the field. Jun turns his head to glance at his friend, letting out a chuckle when he sees the expression on his face. He nudges his shoulder, “Your face looks stupid.” 

Wonwoo laughs, hitting Jun’s arm. “I’m trying to find yn, but she’s too far to see from here.” 

“Bet you gave her the shock of her life.” Jeonghan jokes from beside him, and Wonwoo smiles. 

“That was the goal.”

“Let’s go Wonwoo!!” You scream, not even caring that some of your classmates are glaring at you for cheering on the opposing team. Jihyo cheers alongside you, doing a victory dance whenever Wonwoo’s team scores. 

It’s the fourth quarter, and Wonwoo’s team has the ball for the final seconds of the game. They need three more points to win, and there’s only thirty seconds left on the clock. In all honesty, they need a miracle to win this game. 

To say you were shocked when you found out Wonwoo was on the football team was partially an understatement. However, finding out that he’s really fucking good at being a wide receiver almost made you pass out. Wonwoo, the guy who spent the whole summer trying to read all of the books in the science-fiction section at the local library, is among the fastest and best players on his team. 

plot twist indeed luv.

You grasp Jihyo’s hand once they get out of their team huddle, watching Wonwoo go to his position. You feel anxious, and way too invested in a high school football game. The ball gets thrown to Seungcheol, and your eyes follow Wonwoo as he runs all the way down the field. You’re frozen once the ball leaves Seungcheol’s hands, shooting across the field towards Wonwoo. 

It’s as if time slows down, and your heartbeat is loud against your ears as Wonwoo lifts his hands up. You squeeze Jihyo’s hand tightly, and your mouth drops open when Wonwoo fucking catches it. You and Jihyo scream when he sprints the last few feet towards the end zone. 

“GO WONWOO!!” You screech, and you lift your arms up in victory when he runs into the end zone right as the buzzer goes off. Your eyes go to the board, 43-49. You and Jihyo jump together happily as Wonwoo takes off his helmet, a giant smile on his face as his friends run directly into him in a huge group hug. 

“Guys let go of him! He’s been dying to go see his girl.” Jeonghan laughs, and heat rushes to Wonwoo’s face once the guys start cooing at him. He slaps Joshua’s arm once he starts up the kissy noises. “Shut up, she’s not my girl yet.”

“YET?!”

“I heard a yet fellas!” 

“I hate it here, I’m gonna go see yn now.” Wonwoo says with a big smile on his face, effectively breaking away from his group and running towards the bleachers. 

“I think he’s going to see you! GO DOWN!” Jihyo shouts once she sees Wonwoo running in your direction. She grabs the water bottles before taking your arm and pulling you out of the bleachers. The two of you sprint down the stairs while you whine,

“Jihyo stop dragging me!” 

To which your loving best friend responds, “No bitch!”

You both run towards the opening in the fence, now on the track field. Wonwoo catches sight of you, running a bit faster until he meets you halfway. You let out a big smile, breaking out of Jihyo’s grip and immediately wrapping your arms around Wonwoo, even if he is sweaty. He freezes, before hugging you back, one hand cradling your head. You pull away after a moment so that you can look into his eyes,  your guys’ arms still wrapped around each other.

“You should’ve told me you were on the team! I would’ve made you a poster!!” You scold, and Wonwoo lets out a laugh. 

“I just won the biggest game of the school year and you’re yelling at me for not telling you I was on the football team?” He jokes, and you stick your tongue out at him. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Makes me feel like a bad gir-friend. A bad friend.”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at your correction, and you look away as soon as you feel your cheeks turn warm at your mishap. Jihyo squeals quietly behind you two, taking as many pictures as she can. Wonwoo lifts his hand, resting it on your chin and making you turn your head so that you’re staring at him again. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Wonwoo repeats, an amused smile forming on his face when you turn your head to see if he was asking someone else behind you. He squeezes your waist with his other hand, eliciting a squeal from you. “We’re literally hugging each other and you think I’m asking another girl to be my girlfriend?”

“I mean… maybe?” You respond, and Wonwoo chuckles, shaking his head at your silliness.

“But on a real note, will you be my girlfriend?” He asks more seriously, and you grin at him. 

“Of course Wonwoo, I’ll be your girlfriend.” 

“HELL YEAH!!!”

“LET’S GO BABY!!!” 

“MY SHIP HAS SAILED!!!!” You and Wonwoo turn your heads to see his friends and Jihyo jumping up and down happily at the two of you becoming official. You raise a hand up to your mouth as you laugh at their antics, and Wonwoo rolls his eyes. 

“I’m sorry about them.” He whispers to you, specifically eyeing Soonyoung and Seokmin making kissy faces towards you and Wonwoo. You turn your head towards your boyfriend, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, causing the guys and Jihyo to screech even louder. Wonwoo lifts a hand to the area, smile forming on his face as he turns to you. 

“Consider it a winner’s kiss.” You tell him shyly, giving him finger guns. Wonwoo laughs at your cuteness, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes widen, and out of the corner of your eye you see Seungkwan and Chan fall to the track, unable to express how cute they find you two in words and screeches. 

“Consider it a winner’s kiss as well, for getting me as your boyfriend.” Wonwoo jokes, and you roll your eyes. 

“So cocky.” 

“You love it though.” 

“Just a smidge, bookworm.”

[triviareads]

I think it’s not that deep, either. The writing is kinda bad and it misses the mark a lot of the times, but we don’t realise it because most of acting is rather good. But look at scenes like the siblings interactions, Eloise’s rants, a lot of the Kathony fights. The siblings are pure banter and trolling but little of caring of one another. Eloise sometimes becomes a caricature of herself. The dialogue of a lot of Kathony fights didn’t make any sense (Kate’s lines in the because you vex me 1)

2) scene sucked). But the actors make them work. They are good despite de writing. With Colin and Pen’s relationship they are missing the mark the same way as with the rest of the og line plots/ characters. It’s not on purpose, it’s because they suck. You can tell if you look at the way they’ve changed Colin. They’ve tried to make him more serious and gentleman-like, a heroe. But in stead they made him kind of pompous (he’s deeply unlikable for example (I’ll continue in another ask box, sorry!!)

3) during his conversation with Anthony after he gets engaged to Marina. The s1 and 2 Marina plot was the same, it was clumsily (heavy) handled. The writers for the show are just not very good and, honestly, it’s the same way with a lot of Shondaland productions - they just miss the emotional mark, go overboard and the outcome is clumsy and melodramatic. Look at the scene were Colin says he won’t get married to Pen. They like to kick a character when it’s down and leave them there. And finally—>

5) each couple’s fans are looking at it in a partial way (idk): all the couples were fucked up, because the writing is… just in different ways. I can’t believe Kathony’s fans (I am one), think they were fucked, how do you imagine Polin’s fans feel? Polin has been all around dragged through the mud… because the writing is shit and the writers don’t understand the tone and the vibe of the show, don’t really know the material (and HR in general, sorry)

Answer below cut:

I agree the writing could have been more polished, and I definitely agree Jonny and Simone more than pulled their weight (apparently they even helped choreograph their own sex scenes and I am 100% willing to believe they came up with Anthony's oral fixation on their own).

I will say I thought show!Daphne/Duke were more compelling in some ways than they were in the books. But again, the writers screwed themselves over by including the assault scene, and then framing it in a way that was supposed to make us feel bad for Daphne.

Colin just got weird in S2, like, I mostly made jokes about him being the white boy returning from study-abroad, but he was... different. The funny thing is, he seemed more self-assured by the end of S2 because of the ponzi scheme he took down, as opposed to, say, Benedict. It also just felt weird he was so somber most of the time. This man-child is just supposed to be charming his way through the ton. I think we could have saved any internal development for his actual season when he's all like "oh woe is me, they only see me as an empty-headed charmer, but I have DEPTHS!"

[honeytea8]

✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀 

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe

[antiterf]

Kinda a weird question, but if you dealt with internalised transphobia, how did you, like, get over it (for lack of better terms)? Alternatively, how did you come to terms with being trans?

It wasn’t one trick but a mix of a lot of different shit. I think it’s comparable to cognitive behavioral therapy. It was also partially waiting and having better mental health that came with transition.

Tldr before I get started:

Wait

Try to be around other trans people

Every insult you put towards yourself for being trans, you put on everyone else for being trans

Countering the transphobic arguments I internalized

Joking about it

Overall bettering my mental health

When first knowing I was just outright disgusted and in a bit of denial over it. That part I more or less just had to wait out and slowly come to terms with it. Having another trans person around me in real life helped a lot (even if they were an abusive asshole). It helped to know that I wasn’t alone at that point and that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way.

I ended up having a lot of breakdowns about how I was a “freak” basically, way before any physical transition mind you. What really helped me as someone who was very okay with insulting myself but hated being mean to others was telling myself that if I was so fucking awful for being this way, then I am automatically holding every trans person to that same view. That if I am shitting on myself this much for being trans, I’m insulting the rest of trans people with me. This thought process eventually let me stop these breakdowns sooner and eventually rarely bring them up to never.

It’s still something I use for other people who are the same way, putting others way before themselves. Not only for internalized transphobia but anything from having bad luck financially to disability making it hard for you to get out of bed.

Then there’s the fact that I would argue with myself and do a lot of research on anti transgender arguments and counters to them. Existing in an inherently transphobic society makes you overhear a lot of anti trans shit which you then end up repeating back to yourself. The main reason why I’m so good at defending trans masc and afab trans people compared to trans fem and amab trans people is because learning those arguments was a personal necessity for me to accept myself. Same thing with puberty blockers, language, general gender and queer studies, etc. There’s a reason why I can write so many pages on ROGD but have to do a lot of new studying for trans people displayed as sexual predators since most of that is transmisogyny that I didn’t have to defend myself from.

Then of course I would joke about stuff and take it less seriously when I internalized too much. Which was the main goal of terf-tips for a long time, to get out the thoughts constantly berating me in a humorous way. Flood the tags while I’m at it to make sure that people like me get a bit pulled out of the shit show that is internalized transphobia. Having a joke about it works better to stop having the thought than just blocking it out for me. It also makes you feel more at ease with the transphobia you’re facing for a bit. Yeah, terfs are serious business and a hate group, but you will put yourself through way too much to treat them and their ideology like that 100% of the time. Making jokes about oppression and our oppressors can help a lot more than people realize.

Lastly transition helped by just improving my mental health. Improved mental health helps you deal with things better. I mean, you wouldn’t do very well on a stressful essay during a depressive episode. You probably aren’t going to be the best with handling yourself gently either.

[majimemegoro]

just finished watching a playthrough of saejima's hunting storyline and i get why you like okudera so much now. he's a pretty minor character in the eyes of the game's main storyline but damn, he's genuinely really compelling, alongside the entire hunting storyline...i really fuckin like this dude now. anyways, i wanted to ask, do you know of a timeline or anything of his backstory? cause its. a little confusing for me to understand

WE CAUGHT ONE LADS

jokes aside I'm so glad you watched, so glad you liked it, and so glad you took the time to let me know. for anyone else who wants the chance to discover the joy of MR OKUDERA, whether or not you have a ps4 or steam, you can do that here.

as for the backstory timeline... buckle up, because it's convoluted as heck. We learn about the events of 9 years ago partially through the false story of the villagers and partially from okudera (whose tell-all story at the end is also, I think, a bit cagey and perhaps deliberately vague). these in-text obstacles to determining The Truth are exacerbated by the fact that the remastered version has at least one egregious translation error, and hence the possibility of other errors.

But I've spent a LOT of time trying to figure out the timeline. like a stupid amount of time. and while i still plan to do a serious methodical review of the story and determine the possibilities once and for all, I'll take this as an opportunity to lay out what I currently figure is probably the case.

disclaimers: y5 spoilers for the okudera/hunting storyline follow. i also havent systematically reviewed the evidence before posting, so it's possible that there will be errors. if anyone notices them, PLEASE point them out! meanwhile I will do my best to specify what is fact and what is interpretation: events I am 99-100% sure of, and are stated more or less explicitly in the text, will go in normal text, while I'll put my own filling-in-the-blanks and original notes in [square brackets]. I have some pretty detailed personal headcanons to do with these events, but I will NOT bring them up. Here I promise I will only bring up speculation that has a textual basis and is strictly necessary to fill in the gaps of the accounts given by mr okudera and the other vilalgers.

I will refer from now on to mr okduera as Sato, and to og okudera as okudera.

~10 years ago

the upcoming changes to hunting regulations are announced, and a hunting boom begins on the mountain [this could be more than 10 years ago]

sato breaks out of Abashiri, either crashes or abandons his snowmobile, and is saved by okudera

[Nishina recovers the snowmobile at some point]

okudera teaches sato how to hunt "as I (sato) was losing hope of living"

meanwhile the natural balance on the mountain is decaying due to overhunting, and bears are becoming vicious

~9 years ago, 6 months after sato's arrival in the village

yama-oroshi, the giant-size bear, is first spotted and starts causing trouble

~9 years ago

during a blizzard, okudera goes out after yama-oroshi. [the villagers give conflicting accounts of his intentions. i think sakurai says okudera wanted to help them, while nishina says he was after money. unclear whether sakurai is telling his honest opinion or a cover story]

sato goes around begging the villagers for food with "hat in hand" and is given some by mrs nishina [note that he apparently didn't have any, even though, if you accept this timeline, yama-oroshi hadn't yet attacked the village and destroyed its food stores. mrs nishina tells the story of okduera begging, and she doesnt specify when it happens, but i think it was probably here? not sure though.]

sato follows okudera into the mountain, intending to kill him

sato finds okudera; okudera reveals that he already knew sato was planning to kills him, and tells him that it's okay to carry out his mission

sato decides not to kill okudera

Okudera is attacked by Yama-oroshi. Sato passes out. [was he attacked???]

[okudera fights off yama-oroshi alone, defending the unconscious sato and succeeding in driving the bear away]

However okudera is grievously injured

Sato awakens on bloody snow. [presumably the site of the original attack, though its not for sure.] the dying okudera holds his hand and tells him to take his name and continue living in order to atone for both of their crimes.

[at some point here okudera presumably dies. it is possible that sato buries him at this time, but perhaps more likely that sato immediately follows yama-oroshi, who is headed towards the village, presumably having been driven in that direction during the fight against sato. saving the village from a demon bear would seem like a good way to begin atoning for a life of crime.]

Yama-oroshi attacks the village, ruining buildings and eating/destroying all of the food stored up for the winter, including the buried food

(still 9 years ago, but after this the order of events gets really fuzzy. the remaining events may shift slightly in order, depending on one's stance on the next bullet)

sato saves the village somehow [this bit is really vague. possibly this comment is referring to ways in which sato helped revitalize the matagi principles of conservation and mutual aid in the village. but I think it is more likely that he did something more concrete, namely, luring yama-oroshi away from the village. otherwise why did Yama-oroshi leave before killing anyone? someone did something, I think, and I think it was sato.]

[sato reports to the villagers that okudera ("sato") is missing - probably NOT that he is dead. the villagers then presumably report this to the police, since sato cannot be seen by the police, who would surely recognize and escapee from Abashiri.] [Note that sakurai tells saejima that sato (mr okduera) went into the mountain after og okudera BECAUSE og okudera was already missing, but I don't think this makes sense unless it's part of the fake cover story. it's also possible that sato told the villagers okudera was missing & he was following him for that reason, since he wouldnt have admitted he was planning to kill him...]

[some of] the villagers realize or suspect that sato/”okudera” is the escaped convict. [because they would know WHEN sato showed up, and when the escape occurred, and they would know that the bigger guy who disappeared had been with them for too long to be the escapee]

the villagers decide to protect sato (”okudera”) by secretly following him on the mountain, and by shunning him so that they have an excuse for not knowing him well and hence not reporting his identity to the police.

[it seems that Sato never admits to the villagers that he knew okudera died. OR the villagers pretend not to believe that okudera is dead?? which is weird since youd think after almost a decade, “went missing on the mountain during a blizzard” would entail “presumed dead”... but i digress]

the village spends the rest of the winter and perhaps longer on the “brink of starvation”

at some point the new hunting regulations go into effect.

and that's the events of 9-10 years ago, as near as I can figure them.

Thoughts? questions? me too !!! please speak up, and thanks for the ask, comrade.

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Last edited Wednesday, November 13th, 2024

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