#this is part 1 of 3 that'll be post every week

[butmakeitgayblog]

Teach Me

Ch. 7

Test days

///////////////

God, she hated test days.

The mind-numbing minutiae of it.

The waste of time that could be better spent actually learning. 

The way she had to show up to do… absolutely nothing. 

Pacing an ambling line from one end of the lecture platform to the other, her eyes swept the darkened room before checking her watch again.

“You have thirty seconds left to finish your thoughts for this piece, and then we're moving on to the final slide,” Lexa called out, remembering to soften her tone so as to not make the more consumed writers of the class jump nearly a foot out of their desks.

Again.

The screen overhead flipped from ‘ The Column of Trajan’ to ‘ The Arch of Constantine’, and the clock on the wall ticked on.

A few more minutes passed in relatively dull silence as Lexa mentally flowed through the lesson plans she had presented thus far, combing the downturned sea of faces and mentally shouting what she hoped the students had taken from them. 

Because she wanted them to do well.

Because she measured her own success as an educator by her student's every success.

Because if she had to read one more essay this semester that contained the words “lit” or “potato quality” in reference to ancient carvings, she just might tear her own hair out.

She really hated test days. 

Mind buzzing with thoughts of stylistic contrasts between High Empire versus Late, and wondering who among her pupils would draw the correct conclusions for why each piece represented on the test was chosen, Lexa felt her pocket vibrate as she settled down on the edge of the table at the head of the room.

Fishing her phone out, she glanced down and froze at the preview that flashed bright across the screen.

“That is a very tight vest you have on Professor”

Schooling her face despite the heat that bloomed bright hot in her cheeks, Lexa checked the timer she had set and barely hesitated before opening the message.

“Shouldn't you be focusing on your test?”

“Just finished a minute ago. Now I'm wasting time until class is over.”

“Shouldn't you want to leave then?” she thumbed out. As if on cue, she pressed her phone to her chest and nodded as a student traipsed up to the front and deposited their test booklet on the table before slipping out of the lecture hall without a sound. “It's a beautiful day. Go enjoy it instead of pretending to look busy.”

“But the view's so good right here…”

Straightening up from her slouched position, it felt like a herculean task to keep her eyes from beelining to the front row and exactly two seats to the left. 

Instead she made another lazy loop around the dais, scanning the crowd for moving pencils (and any obvious signs of someone having fallen asleep.) 

The dull squeak of graphite on paper had her winding back around to stand behind the safety of her podium.

“That's highly inappropriate. Remind me why I let you sit in the front row?” she typed back the second her hands were out of sight. 

She snuck another glance out into the dimmed lecture hall and waited.

“Because I'm your very favoritest student Professor Woods,” she read when another message popped up right below it. “And because when I wear this outfit you can almost see up my dress.”

/////////////

Read on AO3

[echoes-in-echoclan]

Took long enough- Here are the kits!! The sweeties <3

Also! Important announcements! Don't let the wall of text spook you, it's all good things

I guess this is a general rundown of the future of EchoClan over the summer! I'm having so much fun with this Clan, but I also have other responsibilities. I'll be working part time and working on my portfolio. I've decided to pursue rigging (for 3D animation), and in order to have any chance of jobs/internships I need to start on that. So that'll hopefully be one of my main focuses! Another thing I want to do is focus more on my personal art. I've neglected it a lot this semester, and I've been wanting to go back into things with my OCs and stories. Within the next few months I'll try making a personal art blog too. So all that to say, EchoClan won't be my #1 top priority over the summer. But worry not! I'll still be working on it! I'm going to try to get more of a backlog before I step back so you guys will still have 1-2 pages a week.

Speaking of posting every week, these next few weeks will be a little bit more radio silent on my end. I'll be going overseas for two weeks to study abroad! I'm incredibly excited, but that also means posting moons will be put on hold for a little. Any asks will be answered without any pictures or with traditional art! But again, no moons will be posted until I return. I think I'll post one more moon before I leave? But we'll see!

I participate in Art Fight every year in July! So during July I will be focusing on that rather than asks or moons. More info coming soon!

I'm also toying around with the idea of a timeskip. I have skipped all the way to moon 60 in the game, and I am stopping there for now. When we reach moon 60, I will be giving you guys the choice of whether or not I timeskip. If a timeskip is chosen, more options for the amount of time + circumstances will be provided. I want to keep providing new and exciting stories for EchoClan! And if that means doing a time skip, then so be it!

Thank you all for being so patient with me these past few months. School really kicked my butt, and even then I still have a few more finals + my study abroad trip. You all are the best <3 big things are coming to this clan that I can't wait to show you!

TL;DR: EchoClan is still going and will still keep happening but I'm also doing other things

[pinkhairandpokemon]

Blueberry Academy Annual Summer Camp

Every late summer here at BBA, when most students are approaching the end of their break, we hold an event to offer anyone who might've struggled last year with grades a chance to catch up and prepare for the upcoming new year, or newbies that are seeking to get a head start. It's also a good opportunity for any parents considering BBA for their child!

This camp began as a student-lead idea to help their friends who were struggling to keep up, and in the last few years has become a BBA tradition. Along with tutoring, we also realize attending requires most students to stay in dorm rooms for the duration of the camp- so we also offer fun activities and games in between lessons! These activities can range anywhere from arts and crafts, general hangouts, nature walks or hikes to different parts of the Terarium, or even battling!

You aren't required to show up to any specific lesson- whatever works with your schedule, and whatever subject you need help studying for! Most of our tutoring sessions are held in groups, but we also provide private individual lessons for anyone who think their kids would benefit more from that. Our sessions our typically held by volunteers, teachers, and even some students!

The event organizers this year is our newest champion of the BBL and Naranja Academy exchange student, Florence Ramirez, and our Steel-type BBL Elite Four Member, Amarys Martin. If you have any questions, direct them to Florence at @scarlet-rider!

Here's a list of the subjects we plan to tackle and some of the events we have planned in the coming weeks:

Subjects (+ Instructors):

-Science (Florence Ramirez)

-Battle Study (Blake Lockhart)

-History (Ms. Briar)

-Mathematics (N Harmonia)

-Literature (Mrs. Ross)

-Foreign Language (Anita Brooks)

Week 1 Activities

Day 1- Introduction to the Terarium: This one was made specifically for new students, but anyone is allowed to attend! Director Cyrano and Florence will be providing a personal tour of the Terarium and its various different biomes.

Day 2- Group Training: Are you a trainer seeking to challenge the BBL this year? Our Battle Studies instructor Blake and a few of our League Club members themselves will be holding a series of training sessions for you and your Pokemon to hone their skills!

Day 3- Paper flowers: We try to have a different arts and crafts activity held by the Art Club for every week of the camp. This time, we'll be learning how to make paper flower displays!

Day 4- Lunch and Get Together: Just a small meet up we'll be holding in the Central Plaza to recap how our first week of camp has gone! A good opportunity to make some friends and get to know some of our instructors. We might also have some exhibition battles between BBL Elite Four members to enjoy!

Day 5- Polar Biome Hike: We'll be hiking to the peak of the Polar Biome's Mountain! Pack a lot of cold weather and camping gear for the journey.

Day 6- Karaoke Night: A laidback karaoke event that'll be held by the Music Club!

We'll be revealing Week 2 and Week 3 events later on into the camp! We'll provide more details for each event and tutoring session via handout pamphlets that all attendees will receive, such as times, what to expect, and what you'll be recommended to bring.

The camp will run for a duration of three weeks from July 25th to August 15th. We hope to see you there!

(( OOC Event info under cut ))

(( hi! the summer camp arc was something I've been plotting for a while, and decided hey maybe other people with BBA characters would like to participate in this!

it won't be anything too complex- you can just make posts about your character attending a tutoring session or one of the events listed above. you can even have them interact with N, Blake or Florence if ya want! Florence will be making an announcement post for each event on her blog.

like I said above , there will be week 2 and week 3 events, and those will be announced once week 1 wraps up :)

a pretty simple, low stakes event, I think that pretty much sums everything up. if you decide to participate i hope you'll have fun! lmk if you have any questions ))

[genshinluvr]

Caught in the Crossfire 3

Pairings: Kamisato Ayato x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Ayato were having a tea and snack break when you started to feel strange. You end up falling "ill" (although you felt fine despite having to visit the bathroom to empty your stomach every time you eat), and Ayato calls a doctor to get you checked up to see what was the cause of your sudden sickness.

Note: I was going to make a smut for this part, but I didn't have the time to type it out because of schoolwork, and because I was busy 🥹 Also, holy crap, I realized that it's been a year since the last "chapter" of Caught in the Crossfire 😭 well, this is the finale of Caught in the Crossfire! I might make an extra fic that has a smut, but I'm not 100% sure if that'll happen 🤔 Idk why I've been making fics that involve babies and pregnancies lately. But the mini-fic that I'm posting after this won't involve babies or pregnancies! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: Mentions of vomiting, menstrual cycles, talks of infertility and pregnancy

Word Count: 7.3k

Caught in the Crossfire chapters: [1], [2], [3]

It’s been a few months since the incident with Yuki and her attempt to assassinate you. Ayato tightened security at the Kamisato estate and double-checked the servant’s backgrounds, making sure they weren’t spies working for the Takahashi clan. You weren’t allowed to leave the Kamisato estate without having security following you everywhere you went. 

No matter where you go, without your knowledge, Ayato has the Shuumatsuban keep an eye on you in case anything happens while you’re not in his presence outside of the Kamisato estate. So far, Ayato’s plans have been going well. You’re unharmed, you’re safe, and nothing poses a threat to your safety. 

You’re sitting in Ayato’s office, having tea with the head of the Kamisato Clan, who is also your fiancé and soon-to-be husband. The date of the wedding is getting close, and the both of you have the wedding venue, the decorations, and the flowers picked out. You’re supposed to go out into Inazuma City and have wedding gowns picked out next week. Needless to say, you’re excited but also anxious.

“Is there something on your mind, my love?”

You snap out of your thoughts and look at Ayato with wide eyes. Ayato looks at you curiously while taking a bite from the Dangos Thoma brought for your and Ayato’s tea time. You give Ayato a sheepish smile and grab the teacup, taking a sip. Ayato crosses his arms over his chest and watches you closely.

You put the teacup back on the saucer and dab the napkin over your lips. “Oh, forgive me, Ayato. I have some things occupying my thoughts at the moment,” you say softly.

Ayato looks at you curiously. “If you don’t mind me asking, what is it that’s occupying that pretty head of yours, dear?” Ayato asks, propping his elbow on the table.

You purse your lips. It’s not like Ayato is going to shame you or brush off your worries. The wedding is close; the closer the date gets, the more anxious you become. Sometimes you wonder how Ayato manages to keep his calm exterior when it comes to significant events such as your and Ayato’s impending wedding.

“I’m worried about not being able to find the perfect kimono on time before the wedding and dress rehearsal,” you reply. “Ayaka and I are supposed to go out into Inazuma City next week for the kimonos, but I worry I’m going to be too picky and end up not finding what I like.”

Ayato gives you a sympathetic look and reaches for your hand across the table, placing his hand over yours. 

“It’s normal to feel this way, [Y/N]. If it helps, I can always have someone come over to the Kamisato estate with kimonos picked and ready for you to choose,” Ayato offers, smiling at you.

You purse your lips and chew on the inside of your cheek. “As tempting as that sounds, I don’t want you to get a peek at what kimono I choose!” You say. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

Ayato pulls away and crosses his arms over his chest with a defeated sigh. You snort and rest your chin on the palm of your hand, giving Ayato a triumphant smile. You know Ayato. He has been dropping not-so-subtle hints about wanting to know what kimono you’ll be choosing and wearing on your and his wedding day.

Ayato huffs softly, his bottom lip jutting out. “It seems like you know me too well, my love.”

You grin at Ayato and reach for the mochi. “Lord Ayato, as your soon-to-be wife, it’s my job to know my husband well, right?” You tease, taking a bite of the mochi.

“You’re correct, my love. I can’t believe I thought I could get past my intelligent wife,” Ayato bemoans.

You stare at Ayato, sitting back in your seat with your lips puckered. Ayato leans on the table, gazing at you through his long lashes. Archons, Ayato is so breathtaking. It’s almost unfair how your soon-to-be husband is an ethereal beauty. You can see why Yuki, ugh, Yuki, has a thing for your fiancé. Your expression sours almost immediately when Yuki comes across your mind.

“What’s with that expression on your face, dear? Are you thinking about Yuki again?” Ayato teases.

You huff and look away from Ayato. “That and it’s not fair that my husband is beautiful. His beauty outshines the seven wonders of Teyvat,” you murmur.

“It’s a pain to be a beauty sometimes. The burden I carry on my shoulders can get intense, and it’s not for the weak,” Ayato jokes, brushing his hair over his shoulder with a dramatic sigh.

You and Ayato snicker before continuing to eat the snacks Thoma brought for you and the Kamisato heir. While Ayato is talking about what he was doing before your arrival to have afternoon tea with him, you begin to feel strange. There’s this weird feeling in your gut, making you adjust yourself in your seat a couple of times, trying to see if the feeling would pass. You reach for the teacup and take a sip, hoping the tea will wash down the feeling of discomfort bubbling in your stomach.

“Dearest?” Ayato asks, grabbing your attention.

You look at Ayato, continuing to drink your tea. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes for who knows how long. You put your teacup on the saucer and wipe your lips, clearing your throat. 

“Yes, Ayato?”

“Are you alright? You seem uncomfortable. Does it feel stuffy in the office?” Ayato asks.

You give Ayato a tight-lipped smile and shake your head. “No, no! The temperature in the office feels fine! Although, there’s this strange sensation in my stomach. I can’t explain it,” you say, rubbing your abdomen.

“You’re not getting sick, are you? How are you feeling right now?” Ayato asks, preparing to get up from his seat to be at your side.

You squint your eyes. “That, I’m unsure of. The Dangos and mochis taste divine as always, and I’m sure they’re not the reason why I’m feeling this way,” you reply. 

Ayato looks at you closely. You do seem noticeably paler than usual, and your look almost sunken in. Ayato hums and gets up from his seat while you look at him quizzically. Ayato walks around the table and to your side, removing his gloves before pressing the back of his hand against your forehead.

“You feel a little bit clammy. Are you sure you’re not sick?” Ayato asks, pulling his hand away and putting his gloves back on.

You nod. “I’m sure I’m not sick. This strange bubbling in my stomach is making me want to….” you trail off and take a deep breath. 

He hums and strokes his chin. “How about we end it here for today. You should get some rest. Maybe you’ll feel better once you get some rest,” Ayato suggests, holding his hand out. 

You reach for Ayato’s hand and let him assist you. You weren’t sure why you were feeling ill all of a sudden— it’s strange and so sudden. You felt fine the day before, and the bubbling in your stomach came out of the blue.

You’re certain the Dangos and mochis didn't make you feel strange. You had Dangos and mochis for a snack the day before, and you felt okay! Whatever it is, you hope it’s nothing serious and that it’ll go away by tomorrow. You and Ayato walk to the door with your arms linked together and you almost leaning against Ayato. The door slides open, revealing Thoma holding a plate that contains more snacks.

Thoma’s eyes widen, and he takes a step back. “Lord Ayato and Lady [Y/N]! May I ask where the two of you are going?” Thoma asks, looking at you and Ayato curiously.

You snort and shake your head. “Thoma, you’ve always called me [Y/N]. Why the formalities now?” You ask, giving Thoma a small smile.

“That is false! I called you ‘my Lady’ once!” Thoma says, propping one hand on his hip while grasping the snack tray with the other. “Now, uh, where are you two going? You two didn’t finish the snacks I brought in previously,” Thoma says, peering over your and Ayato’s shoulders and peeking inside Ayato’s office.

Thoma moves out of the way when you and Ayato step into the hallway of the Kamisato estate. Ayato gestures for Thoma to follow along while escorting you to your and Ayato’s shared bedroom. Thoma follows you and Ayato in silence. Thoma couldn’t help but watch how Ayato is holding you. It’s cute how you and Ayato have gotten close since the first two incidents with the Takahashi Clan— well, the Yuki situation, to be more specific.

Thoma’s glad that you and Ayato are closer than ever and that there isn’t any awkward tension between you two like the first time. Approaching your and Ayato’s shared bedroom, Ayato slides the door open. Sunlight peeks into the room through the thin curtains, illuminating the once-dark bedroom. 

You sit on the edge of the bed and take your slippers off. Ayato sits beside you and watches you get under the covers and snuggle into the pillow. Ayato brushes the stray hairs away from your face and gives you a warm yet concerned smile. You smile at Ayato in return and place your hand over his, giving his hand a light squeeze.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Ayato. I’m sure I’ll be okay once I get some rest,” You murmur.

Ayato lets out a long sigh and gives you a strained smile. “I know, sweetheart. Can you blame me for worrying about you?” Ayato chuckles.

You stare at Ayato, keeping your hand over his. Your gaze falls to Ayato’s lips, watching them tremble. You toss the blanket off your body before sitting up and pulling him into your arms, pressing your lips against his jawlines. You rest your head on Ayato’s shoulders and close your eyes, breathing in his cologne. Ayato wraps his arms around your waist, kissing the top of your head and forehead.

You whisper, “I don’t blame you for worrying about me, Ayato. But I can assure you that I’m okay! If that doesn’t quell your worries, then you can have Thoma bring medication for me if you want,” you suggest.

“What medication should we give you when we don’t know the issue?” Ayato frowns.

You shrug your shoulders, laying back on the bed and pulling the blanket over your body. “I don’t know. Medication for my stomach? It’s still bubbling, but I’m hoping it’s those diarrhea bubbling,” you comment.

Thoma snorts before laughing while Ayato tries his best to keep a straight face. Ayato sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, looking away from you while holding himself back from laughing with Thoma. Ayato takes a deep breath and turns to look at you while you look at him with a sheepish smile.

You clear your throat. “Now that I think about it, the feeling can be from me eating too much spicy food last time,” you said, scratching your cheek.

Thoma nods in agreement. “That’s a huge possibility. We did have a hot pot challenge last time, too, and you know how that ended up for me,” Thoma says with wide eyes.

Your face pinches up, and you nod. “Yeah, you had stomach pain for the next two days,” you reply.

Ayato looks at you and Thoma worriedly, rubbing his temples afterward. You did eat a lot of spicy food not too long ago, and the strange bubbling sensation in your stomach is most likely from the amount of spice you’ve ingested. There’s nothing more than that, right? Ayato’s praying to the electro archon, hoping it was the spice that’s affecting your stomach and not something worse.

“Well, even if you did eat something spicy, I’ll have Thoma bring medication and some water for you after you wake up from your nap,” Ayato says, tucking your hair behind your ears.

Ayato gets up, ready to leave the room, but you grab his arm to stop him. Ayato looks at you curiously, and you pout, pointing at your lips. Ayato chuckles, leans over you, and presses a soft kiss on your pouty lips. Thoma looks away and clears his throat as if he isn’t in the same room as you and Ayato.

Ayato pulls away from your lips, pecking your lips one last time before walking to the entrance of your and his shared bedroom. You snuggle into your pillow and close your eyes after hearing Ayato slide the bedroom door close.

Ayato and Thoma walk through the estate’s hallway in silence. Ayato sighs and crosses his arms behind his back, stopping in his tracks and turning to look at his blond retainer. Thoma stops beside Ayato and looks at him curiously.

“Please get some medicine for [Y/N]’s, I’m assuming, tummyache. Have her take her medicine once she wakes up from her slumber,” Ayato instructs.

Thoma nods. “As you wish, my Lord!” Thoma bows to the Kamisato heir before walking off while Ayato returns to his office.

Since that day, the rumbling in your stomach seems to have worsened. You can barely hold down your lunch and would take frequent stops to the bathroom to empty your stomach. Of course, Ayato wasn’t there when you were throwing up. You didn’t want to tell Ayato about it because he already has too much on his plate, and if you were to tell him about barely holding down your lunch, it’d stress him out even more. 

You would rather tell Ayato about it once he’s not stressing out about paperwork and meetings with other clans. Ayaka, however, wasn’t too pleased when you told Ayaka to keep it a secret from her brother. It’s not like you wanted to keep it from Ayato. The man already has so many things to worry about, and your health shouldn’t be one of them. 

Ayaka sits across from you in your and Ayato’s shared bedroom. You didn’t have the energy to leave the bed this morning because you felt nauseous. Thoma noticed that you didn’t leave your room and tried to get you, but you refused to leave and asked Thoma to tell Ayaka to stop by your room.

“[Y/N], you must tell my brother. You’re his fianceé! If you continue to hide it from Ayato, it’ll make him question whether you trust him or not,” Ayaka says.

“I do trust him! I don’t want to be a burden like last time.” You say, frowning at the girl in front of you. “I don’t want to be a distraction from his duties, nor do I want him to neglect his job to be at my side.”

Ayaka sighs, slumping in her seat. “[Y/N]... this week is when you’ll be picking out kimonos for your and Ayato’s wedding. We can’t have a sickly bride be out and about away from home. Just what will the citizens of Inazuma think when they see the wife of Kamisato Ayato faint in the city?” Ayaka asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

She has a point there. If your condition worsens, many people will spread rumors about you and Ayato. People might assume he’s a neglectful husband who only cares about his job more than his wife’s health. You can’t have his reputation ruined because of you. You sigh in defeat and nod, gesturing for Ayaka to get her brother.

Ayaka gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before getting up from the bed and walking out the door. You press your back against the headboard, pulling the blanket up to your mid-torso. Not long later, Ayaka and Ayato walk into the room. Ayaka gives you and Ayato a smile before walking out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Ayato sits at the edge of the bed beside you, grabbing your hand. “Ayaka told me you wanted to see me and that it’s an urgent matter,” Ayato says.

Well, shit. If Ayaka said that it was an urgent matter, then this is going to put you in a difficult position. Kind of. How are you going to tell Ayato that your health has been declining since the last time you and he had afternoon tea in his office without freaking him out?

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ayato’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

You give Ayato a weary smile and squeeze Ayato’s hand. “I don’t know how to say this without hurting you. I don’t want you to get upset with me, but if you do get upset with me, it’s understandable,” you murmur.

Ayato looks at you with confusion. “Well, whatever it is, I’m not going to get upset with you.” 

“I haven’t been feeling well recently. I feel fine? But I haven’t been able to hold down my lunch. Whenever I eat, I have to,” you make a gesture, “throw it up. I can barely eat without having to empty my stomach not long after.” 

“Dearest, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Ayato asks.

“I didn’t want to distract you from your duties, Ayato. You have important responsibilities to tend to, and I didn’t want to be a burden.”

Ayato cups your face and tilts your head up. Ayato stares into your eyes with a frown before leaning in and kissing your forehead. Ayato pulls you onto his lap and strokes your hair, resting his chin on your head.

“You will never be a burden to me, my love. I would rather have you tell me what’s going on than you hiding it from me as it worsens. Please don’t keep anything from me, [Y/N]. I’m your fiancé, your soon-to-be husband. As your husband, it’s my duty to protect you from any harm,” Ayato says.

You snuggle against Ayato and close your eyes. “Like how you have the Shuumatsuban follow my every move when I’m out of the Kamisato Estate?” You ask, peeking up at Ayato.

Ayato freezes and slowly looks at you. You give him an expectant look, waiting for him to answer your question. Ayato gives you a fake smile and tightens his grip around you, pressing a kiss on your head once more.

“Oh, will you look at that? I shall go fetch the doctor to get you checked up. I don’t think it’s too late for the doctor to come over. After all, it’s still early in the morning, and the sooner you get the check-up, the sooner we know what’s going on.” Ayato clears his throat.

He gets up abruptly and walks out of your and his shared bedroom without sparing you a second glance. You snort and plop on the bed, tossing the blanket over your body. At least Ayato didn’t get upset over the fact that you hid your “sickness” from him. While laying in bed and waiting for Ayato to return— well, you’re not sure if he’s going to return to the room or not— the bedroom door slides open, and Thoma peeks into your room.

“Hey, [Y/N]! How are you feeling? Ayato looks stressed out,” Thoma says, entering the room.

You sit up. “Stressed out? What do you mean by stressed out? He seemed fine when he left the room to call the doctor,” you say.

“Oh! So that’s what he’s stressing out over! But to answer your question, Ayato ignored me when I tried to speak to him not long ago. He was muttering something about you, and then he didn’t respond after I called him before he entered his office,” Thoma replies, shrugging his shoulders with a sigh.

You hug your legs to your chest and rest your chin on your knees. “I’m not sure if Ayaka has informed you about it, but I haven’t been feeling well lately. I can barely keep the food down when I’m eating.” 

Thoma nods and leans on the wall. “Yes, Ayaka has made a passing comment about it, but she never really told me the situation. She only mentioned you not feeling well,” replies Thoma, “Anyway! You never answered my question.”

You shrug your shoulders. “I feel meh? If that’s an accurate way of describing how I feel right now. Other than having to empty my stomach whenever I eat, I feel okay. To be honest, I’m not even sure if ‘okay’ would be a good way to describe how I feel.” You mutter, closing your eyes.

“I’ll let you rest.” Thoma pats your head and gives you a sympathetic smile before leaving the room.

Once Thoma left the room, you collapsed back onto the bed and closed your eyes. A wave of nausea hits you hard, causing you to yank the blanket off your body before you sprint to the bathroom to empty your stomach. Even if you emptied your stomach a while ago, you somehow still managed to vomit something. You flush the toilet and close the lid, resting your head on it with a defeated sigh.

You didn’t keep track of how many times you’ve vomited, but you know it’s not normal to be throwing up this much. Especially when you’re a healthy person with no illness. You get up from the ground and walk slowly back to your and Ayato’s bed, plopping face down on the mattress. Your abdomen feels sore, and you just want it all to stop. You close your eyes and drift off to sleep, still face down on the bed.

When you come to your consciousness, you see Ayato hovering above you, gazing down at you worriedly. You blink at him and rub the sleep from your eyes. For some reason, your arms feel heavy, and you can barely lift them to your face.

“Archons, my love. You’re making me very worried,” Ayato sighs, pressing his forehead against yours and exhaling through his nostrils. “Are you alright?” Ayato murmurs, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

You shake your head and stretch your arms above you. “Before I fell asleep, I threw up again. My abdomen is also sore from how many times I’ve thrown up.” You reply, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and sitting up with help from Ayato.

“The doctor will arrive shortly. Do you think you can remain conscious until he leaves?” Ayato asks, brushing your hair away from your face.

You nod. “I’m sure I can.”

You lay in bed with Ayato at your side, holding your hand while talking about his day and the paperwork he filled out before Ayaka called him to your and his bedroom to speak. You can’t help but stare at Ayato’s pretty face. The mole under his lips, his long eyelashes, and the soft gaze he has whenever he looks at you. You feel your heart melt each time he asks you if you’re okay, stroking your cheek with a gentle yet worried smile.

After what felt like forever, a knock came at the bedroom door. Ayato gets up from his spot and walks to the door, sliding it open. Thoma gives you a smile from over Ayato’s shoulders before looking at Ayato, nodding to the blue-haired man.

“The doctor’s here. Do you want me to let him into the estate and walk him to the room?” Thoma asks, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Ayato shakes his head. “No, no, it’s fine, Thoma! Thank you for offering, but I will be the one to do it.”

Thoma nods and moves to the side, letting Ayato leave the room and walk to the entrance of the Kamisato estate, where the doctor and Ayaka are conversing. You roll over to your side and hug the extra pillow to your chest, looking at the calendar on the wall. You only have two days left to mentally prepare yourself for the search for a kimono. A week has nearly gone by, and you’re still feeling unwell. 

You’re going to have to stop by the shrine to pray and make an offering to the electro archon and hope for the best. The wedding is so close, and you refuse to be sick on an important day. That, and you’re also hoping you won’t have to stop by a nearby store to throw up— that would be embarrassing. 

Your thoughts are interrupted when Ayato enters the room with the doctor following behind. The doctor gives you a polite smile and bows in your direction. You smile at the doctor and awkwardly bow back to him. The doctor sets down his bag on a nearby chair before walking over to where you’re sitting.

“Hello, Lady [Y/N]. I am Doctor Sato. It’s nice to meet your acquaintance! Your husband has informed me about your sudden illness,” says Doctor Sato, putting his glass on.

You nod. “Yes, but I’m not sure if I should consider it an illness. While I feel physically fine, I haven’t been able to eat anything without vomiting it back up.” You said, taking the blanket off and turning to face Doctor Sato, now sitting at the edge of the bed.

Doctor Sato nods and strokes his chin, looking at you and Ayato. “How long has this been going on for?” Doctor Sato asks.

You gnaw the inside of your cheek. “It has been going on for nearly a week,” you reply.

“Are there any other symptoms aside from vomiting?” asks Doctor Sato.

You cross your legs and hum to yourself, tapping on your legs while trying to remember if there were anything else aside from vomiting. You can’t really mention a sore abdomen since it’s caused by you vomiting more than you would like to.

“I have been feeling quite fatigued lately. No matter how long I slept, I would wake up feeling lethargic. Sometimes I would feel a little bit sore, but it would go away after a few days. Some of these things happened prior to me vomiting and not being able to hold down the contents in my stomach.” 

Doctor Sato nods and taps on his chin as he listens to you explain your situation and the symptoms you’ve been experiencing for the last, maybe, two weeks. Your symptoms didn’t sound severe, but it’s not normal for you to be throwing up often.

“When was the last time you had your menstrual cycle, Lady [Y/N]?” Doctor Sato asks suddenly.

You jolt at the sudden question, and your face heats up. Did he really need to ask you that out of nowhere? Then again…. When was the last time you had your period? I mean, with you going through the traumatic events with the Takahashi Clan and Yuki, you’ve been stressing out a lot because you’re constantly looking over your shoulders.

You shrug your shoulders. “I can’t remember when was the last time I had my cycle. I didn’t keep track of it, really.”

Doctor Sato sighs and tucks his hands into his pockets. “Alright, well, since we don’t know when was the last time you had your menstrual cycle…. When was the last time you and your husband had sex?” 

Now it’s your and Ayato’s turn to become flustered. Ayato looks away, coughing into his fist, his cheeks bright red. You press your lips into a thin line and tap on your lap. You try to think back to when you and Ayato got physically intimate. It wasn’t that long ago. Although it certainly didn’t happen the day you had that stomach rumbling for sure.

You and Ayato try to think back to the last time you and he had sex. It was before your stomach had this strange bubbling in your stomach. It was when you were feeling fatigued and sore all of a sudden. Or, at least, that’s what you can recall so far. 

“We…” Ayato clears his throat, looking away from Doctor Sato while trying to keep his composure, “We had sex almost two weeks ago.”

Doctor Sato hums and nods. “Interesting…. And you didn’t have your cycle then?” Doctor Sato asks, turning to look at you.

“No, I didn’t have my menstrual cycle then.”

“I might have an answer to what could be the cause of your sudden ‘illness,’ but I don’t want to assume.” Doctor Sato mutters.

The older man walks to his bag and begins digging through it. Ayato walks over to where you’re and sits beside you, placing a hand on your knees and giving your knees a light squeeze of reassurance. You give Ayato a weak smile and rest your head on his shoulders after scooting closer to him.

Doctor Sato pulls something out from his bag and walks to where you and Ayato are sitting. Doctor Sato stops before you and holds out an object in front of you. You grab the object and inspect it. A pregnancy test. Your and Ayato’s eyes widen at the sight of the pregnancy test in your grasp. You look at Doctor Sato, speechless. Ayato stares at the stick in your hand, refusing to take his eyes off the item.

“Your symptom sounds eerily like pregnancy. While I am a doctor, I can’t take all of your symptoms and narrow it down to pregnancy yet because menstrual cycles do have similar symptoms as well. While many women don’t vomit when they’re menstruating or close to their menstruation cycles, some do. I would know because my wife is one of them,” says Doctor Sato.

You turn to Ayato. “Could it be?” You whisper.

Ayato shrugs, still focusing on the stick in your hand. “I don’t know, my love. You tell me,” Ayato murmurs. “Whatever the results are, I just want you to be okay.” His eyes flickered up to your face, leaning in and pressing a kiss on your cheeks.

It didn’t matter if you ended up being pregnant or if it was a pregnancy symptom. As long as you weren’t being poisoned or targeted in any way, Ayato didn’t care. He needs some kind of confirmation that you’re not being attacked. You give Ayato a small smile and kiss his cheeks before getting up from the bed and walking to the bathroom to use the pregnancy test.

You close the door and lock it. The pregnancy test looks intimidating, and you can’t help but wonder if being pregnant is a possibility. It would make perfect sense! Plus, you and Ayato did have sex a few times after the Yuki situation, and your period is late.

You quickly take the pregnancy test and set it on the counter before flushing the toilet. You unlock the bathroom door and step out of the bathroom. You nearly shriek when you see Ayato leaning against the wall rather than sitting on the bed waiting for you. Ayato cracks a smile and walks to you.

“Did I scare you?” Ayato asks sweetly, blinking at you owlishly.

You huff and lightly whack his arm as he wraps his arms around your shoulders, swaying you side to side. “Yes, you scared me! I thought you were sitting on the bed waiting for me.” You grumble, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Apologies for that, my love. I didn’t want to wait on the bed.” Ayato murmurs, pressing his lips on the top of your head. 

You look around the room, only to realize the doctor isn’t in the room. You look at Ayato with a questioning gaze while Ayato looks at you. “Where is Doctor Sato? Did he leave already?” You ask.

Ayato shakes his head. “Doctor Sato has excused himself to use the bathroom in the hallway. I had Thoma show him where the bathroom is,” replies Ayato. “It would be odd if the doctor leaves before we know the result of the pregnancy test.” 

“What are you hoping the results be?” You ask, pressing your cheek against Ayato’s chest. “I’m just hoping the vomiting stop because the lack of nutrients in my body is making me feel very weak.” 

Ayato kisses your head. “The results don’t matter to me, but….” Ayato trails off.

You look at Ayato curiously. “But….” You raise your eyebrows at him.

“I hope you’re okay, and it’s not something I’m fearing,” Ayato says, letting out a shaky sigh.

You didn’t question him. As much as you wanted to know what he’s implying, Ayato looks stressed out and worried. If you were to press him about it, it would stress him out even more. He has paperwork to complete, and you have shopping to do for your and Ayato’s impending wedding ceremony. The bedroom door slides open, and Doctor Sato walks into the room with Ayaka and Thoma trailing behind him.

“Oh, Ayaka and Thoma! What a pleasant surprise to see you two accompanying Doctor Sato.” Ayato says casually, tightening his grip around your waist while giving Ayaka, Thoma, and Doctor Sato a smile. Doctor Sato walks over to where his bag lays and begins going through it while Ayaka and Thoma stand before you and Ayato.

Ayaka smiles and rubs her arm shyly. “Thoma and I heard that [Y/N] took a pregnancy test. We got curious and wanted to know the results,” says Ayaka.

Thoma scoffs playfully and nudges Ayaka. “We? Last time I checked, it was you that came up to me and asked if I could go with you to ask Lady [Y/N] what the results are,” Thoma chuckles. 

Ayaka grumbles and looks away from Thoma, huffing and muttering under her breath. You and Ayato trade look with each other. 

You give Ayaka a sympathetic smile. “I haven’t gotten the results yet, but when I do, I’ll let you all know what it is.” You say, nodding. 

Everyone sits around your and Ayato’s bedroom, waiting for the pregnancy test to give you the result. While waiting for the results, Thoma is about to get snacks and drinks for everyone as you’re all waiting around, but Ayaka stops him and tells Thoma that eating in a bedroom would attract ants into the bedroom.

You walk to the bathroom and grab the pregnancy test without looking at the results. You walk back to the bedroom with the pregnancy test behind your back, giving Thoma, Ayaka, Ayato, and Doctor Sato an anxious smile.

“Are you guys ready for the results?” You ask, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet.

“Ready as we’ll ever be!” Thoma replies, giving you a thumbs up and a big smile.

You hold the pregnancy test up to your face and read the results. Negative. You’re not pregnant. For the first time in a while, you feel your heart sink into your stomach. Ayaka frowns and is immediately at your side, placing a comforting hand on your back. Ayaka looks at the results and at Thoma and Ayato, shaking her head.

“The results are negative. I guess the symptoms I’ve been feeling for almost two weeks are menstrual cycle symptoms.” You murmur, letting your hands fall to your sides, the pregnancy test still in your grasp. “And not pregnancy symptoms.” 

“At least we know what the cause of your sudden ‘illness,’ right? I’ll make you some ginger tea for you if you’d like me to.” Thoma offers, getting up from his seat. 

You give Thoma a fake smile and nod. “That would be nice. Thank you, Thoma.”

Thoma bows to you before exiting the room. Doctor Sato ends up leaving after instructing you on what you should and should not do when you’re close to your menstrual cycle. You drown out the explanations, nodding your head and acting like you’re listening even though you aren’t mentally there. 

Ayaka excuses herself to give you and Ayato privacy after Doctor Sato leaves, leaving you and Ayato alone in your shared bedrooms. You collapsed on the bed, slumping over and covering your face with your hands. Ayato wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you against his chest. You rest your head against Ayato’s chest, listening to his heart beating against his chest. One day, it’ll be the baby’s heartbeat you and Ayato are hearing. 

“I’m not pregnant. So there’s that.” You mutter, looking at the pregnancy test in your hand. “At least we know what’s going on with me.”

Ayato rests his cheek on your head, closing his eyes while rubbing your back. “Tell me what’s on your mind, my love. I hate seeing you heartbroken.” Ayato whispers.

You run your tongue over your teeth and shake your head, refusing to answer. You’re afraid if you tell Ayato that you’re disappointed that the results weren’t positive, you will burst into tears. Your biggest fear, other than losing Ayato and someone putting a target on your back, is not being able to have children. While it’s not your duty to have kids, you want to have kids.

“Sweetheart, please don’t keep it to yourself. You’ll only hurt yourself even more,” Ayato whispers, tightening his grip around you.

You bury your face against Ayato’s chest and take a deep breath to calm your nerves. You love Ayato, and you’re going to be his wife very soon! But being a wife of a prominent figure in Inazuma and not being able to produce heirs and heiresses? People in Inazuma will talk, and some will say that Ayato will need to find another woman that can give Ayato children or suggest Ayato have a concubine. You’re not infertile, or at least you’re hoping you’re not infertile. 

This is the first negative pregnancy test. It’s not like there will be more negative pregnancy tests after this one, right? 

You pull away from Ayato and wrap your arms around yourself. “If I’m not able to… bear children, are you going to divorce me and find someone else that can?” You whisper, looking at the ground.

“Sweetheart, I’m not going to do such a thing. I don’t care whether you can bear children or not.” Ayato says, cupping your face in his hands and wiping a stray tear that made its way down your cheek. “You have nothing to worry about, my love. I won’t do such a thing, ever.”

You laugh weakly and place your hand over his, giving him a weak smile. “I… was hoping the results came out positive. But to my disappointment, the results came out negative.” 

“It’s okay to feel disappointed, my love. Please don’t assume the worst because of one negative test result. There’s always time for us to try,” Ayato gives you a reassuring smile.

You stare at Ayato, trying to read his facial expression. While he has a smile on his face and is comforting you, you know this hurts him as much as it hurts you. You can see the sadness in his eyes, his lips slightly quivering while trying to keep a strong front. You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“Ayato?” You whisper.

Ayato clears his throat and strokes your hair. “Yes, [Y/N]?” 

You bury your face against Ayato’s chest and breathe in his cologne. “I love you.” You peek up at Ayato and reach up, stroking his cheek.

“I love you too,” Ayato hugs you tightly and kisses your head. “I love you so much.”

Your “illness” ended up going away a few days later, much to your and Ayato’s relief. You went to the famous kimono shop in Inazuma City with Ayaka and a few securities at your and Ayaka’s side. While you and Ayaka were out in Inazuma City buying kimonos for your and Ayato’s upcoming wedding ceremony, you couldn’t help but feel self-conscious due to the number of stares you and Ayaka received. 

“I never understand why people like to stare at others. It’s rude,” you mutter to Ayaka, your eyes scanning the kimono shop, searching for the perfect one. “I don’t know if I can stay out any longer if the staring progresses.” 

“I know how you feel. I always feel nervous when I’m in Inazuma City by myself. People would approach me, stare at me, and whisper about me to the person they’re with. It does get uncomfortable,” Ayaka says, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Anyway, if you’re not able to find a kimono for the wedding, we can always hire someone to stop by the Kamisato estate to get your measurements and make you a kimono.”

You hum and tap on your chin. “I think I like that option better. As much as I loved looking at the beautiful kimonos on display, I don’t think I’ll find the perfect kimono for the wedding here.” You sigh, turning to look at Ayaka with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for wasting your time, Ayaka. We came here to search for a kimono for my wedding, only to come out empty-handed.” 

Ayaka shakes her head and links her arms with yours. “Please don’t apologize for anything, [Y/N]. You were feeling uncomfortable because of the number of stares we were getting, and you’ve been going through a last the past two weeks. Let’s go back to the estate! I’ll have someone come by tomorrow to get your measurements,” says Ayaka.

Later that night, you’re sitting at your vanity, brushing your hair before going to bed. You hear the bedroom door slide open. You look in the mirror to see Ayato closing the door behind him. You put your hairbrush on the vanity, resting your cheek on your fist with a sigh. The wedding ceremony is so close, and yet you still haven’t gotten your kimono. You pray to the electro archon that the tailor will make your kimono on time before the wedding. 

Ayato wraps his arms around your shoulders and leans down, pressing a kiss on your neck. “Ready for bed?” Ayato whispers, gazing at you through the mirror.

You rest your head on Ayato’s chest and close your eyes. “I am. Are you ready for bed?” You ask, opening your eyes and tilting your head up to look at him.

Ayato hums. “I am,” Ayato replies, pressing another kiss on your cheek. “Ayaka told me what happened today.”

You sigh and got up from your seat, pushing the bench under the vanity. “I feel bad for wasting Ayaka’s time. We only looked around. We didn’t get to pick anything out to see or buy for the wedding,” you mutter, turning to Ayato.

Ayato pulls you into his arms and peppers kisses down your neck. “I’m sure Ayaka doesn’t mind, my love. After all, she did inform me that tailors will be coming over for your measurements tomorrow. There’s always a solution to every problem, sweetheart.” Ayato whispers into your ears.

You wrap your arms around Ayato’s waist and snuggle up against his chest. You close your eyes and run your hands up and down Ayato’s back. “Ayato?”

“Yes, my love?” Ayato brushes your hair from your shoulders.

You pull from Ayato’s arms and look at him, playing with the hem of his shirt. “What would you say if I want to try for a baby?” You ask. 

Ayato chuckles and pinches your cheek. “Well, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” Ayato replies.

“Let’s try for a baby.” You blurt out.

Ayato looks at you with wide eyes. “Right now?” Ayato asks.

“We can try any time, really. We don’t have to do it tonight.” You shrug your shoulders, looking away from Ayato.

Ayato tilts your head up and presses his lips against yours. You press your hand on Ayato’s chest before slipping your hands under his shirt. Ayato presses your body against him, slowly backing you up to your and his shared bed. The back of your knees press against the edge of the bed, and Ayato lays you down on the bed, his lips ghosting over your neck while caging you against the bed.

“Remember to keep your voice down. We wouldn’t want to wake Ayaka and Thoma from their sleep.” Ayato whispers into your ears, kissing your jaws.

Note: Sorry, I had to end it there ;v; I'll make a smut spin-off for this fic if you're all interested in that. If not, I'll just keep it as it is and finish Caught in the Crossfire here. This week has been nothing but tests, essays, and memorizing my lines for my and my partner's presentation. A lot has been going on, pretty much. I'm about to be in the middle of the spring quarter, and more things are going to pop up soon for school 🥲 Anyway, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

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[the-knight-of-destiny]

Okay, so long long ramble under the cut about the nature of Ratgrinder Discourse™, I'll preface by saying that I don't want any of this to get hostile with anyone, because I think that's frankly silly to do over a webshow. That said I am also open to critical discussion so if anything I say doesn't make sense, or doesn't track I'm open to critique on it! Obviously spoilers up to Episode 19 of Fantasy High Junior Year underneath. Also it is a VERY long post, several pages, so don't click read more if that'll be overwhelming/too much at once. I just had to get my thoughts into words.

So, this will be long but I'll try to break it up. For clarity I want to establish my main point and give a quick TL;DR here, so here's the short version, long version even further below. My main points are as follows: 1: It is okay to not be happy with how a narrative is going in a show/story you enjoy. Critique is not hate, if anything it's a form of praise in a way. People wouldn't be having such long and frequent discourse about D20 and it's current season if they didn't feel strongly. 2: Similarly, we as an audience have a very different perspective of the entire story unfolding compared to the Intrepid Heroes/Cast. I think a lot of people jump to assumptions about the cast's thought process when that really isn't something we can gauge beyond what they say in episode and on Adventuring Party. 3: For me at least, even if I am left unsatisfied by an ending it doesn't ruin the fun I had in a work. Now if you just wanted my bullet point thoughts without elaboration, there they are! The rest of this is going to be an insanely long ramble (seriously, exit now if you aren't up for that, it's pages long) that I don't expect anyone to read, but I like to get my thoughts outta my brain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in regards to the Ratgrinders dying in the fashion they have, there's been a lot of discussion on literally every place there is to discuss Dimension 20, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, I'm sure other places as well. Really it all comes back to one thing, Dungeons and Dragons is a game, but Dimension 20 is a show. We as viewers have some level of narrative expectation, now for everyone that's different. Some folks have specific hopes for plot and character arcs. Others just want a general vibe, but the cast are players. Sure they are performers, but they are players in a game in equal measure. I've alluded to this before but a lot of the sincere vitriol to antagonists thus far (and especially the Ratgrinders) comes from the fact that the players have been fully immersed in a world and as characters where the Ratgrinders have been a constant thorn in their side for tens of hours of play time. Obviously one can still not like how they've engaged with them (I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about it,) but a lot of it is coming from that distinct perspective. When Fig took Ruben out, she specifically was frustrated because she 'wasted her season' on him. There's a meta level of Fig being angry with Ruben as a character who shares a world with him, versus Emily being frustrated as a player that a lot of her in-game actions did not hash out. That's actually totally natural, by the way. The interesting way that DnD serves both as a narrative of the characters in the setting, but also of the players rolling dice is part of what makes actual play like Dimension 20 so interesting. It's why I think SOME of the disappointment with Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes comes from a strange place, we literally cannot experience the story the same way the cast have. We get a week between chunks of story, they film the episodes in batches. We can think for as long as we want about our critical thoughts, they have to improv on the fly. We get to watch the Ratgrinders as antagonists in a story, the IH are actively hindered in their gameplay by the Ratgrinders as enemies.

That said I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about some aspects of Protagonist Centric Morality™ in this. Oisin having a mildly flirty conversation with Adaine once when he had ulterior motives is a deeply awful manipulation, but Fig catfishing Ruben the better part of an entire year is her trying to reach out and understand him (?). Kipperlilly threatening to desecrate Eugenia's grave is deeply fucked up, but Riz openly advocating mutilating Oisin's body for tactical reasons, and Fabian loudly declaring he intends to do the same to Ivy for literally just his own self-satisfaction are 'fun unhinged moments'.

Before I go on, obviously the Ratgrinders are the bad guys. They're taking part in an evil plan, they've done villainous things throughout the season, especially very recently, etc. This isn't some argument that the Bad Kids are secretly the real monsters or something, obviously not. I just think it's odd that people read into the Bad Kids' actions in the best possible light at all times and the inverse for the Ratgrinders. This protagonist centric morality also comes down to the true reason behind any and all of Fantasy High's villain redemption. Ragh gets redeemed because the player characters think he's possibly useful and/or endearing. Aelwyn gets redeemed because she personally helps Adaine. The only one that Brennan really pushed forward on his own was Zayn, who they barely engaged with. People compare the Ratgrinders to Penelope and Dayne a lot, and understandably so. However I think this is sort of the complication and in my opinion, the silver bullet to understanding what's actually happening with the Ratgrinder's narrative place, Dayne more specifically. He does very little evil on screen. I mean, he injures Fabian and is most likely the one who killed Zayn, but comparatively to Aelwyn, he does almost nothing. He gets killed without so much as a thought, and in a fun (?) parallel to current Ratgrinder discourse, does actually have his body desecrated after death by Fabian. Because he hurt Fabian personally. Aelwyn gets forgiven of doing a lot of terrible shit (and this isn't Aelwyn hate, she's like my favorite NPC.) because it didn't directly affect any of the Bad Kids besides Adaine, and even the bad stuff that did affect Adaine can be sort of off-loaded onto their parents. So it's why I say this discourse is tough, people inevitably say "Well, the Ratgrinders are villains, of course they'll get killed." And this isn't inherently a wrong statement, they look at the bad things the group is doing and understand they must be stopped, why are people upset clearly bad guys get beat and/or killed in DnD games? Because they aren't actually getting killed in such brutal ways because they're bad guys, it's because they personally annoyed or hurt the Bad Kids. This is also why Ratgrinder fans often feel both frustrated and vindicated at once (I speculate, but I feel it's a safe assumption,) because on a meta level Kipperlilly is literally right. Her friends and likely herself are getting ripped to shreds because they crossed the special protagonists, because they started to really frustrate the Intrepid Heroes. The Bad Kids have forgiven atrocities before, but the Intrepid Heroes are really quick to dismiss and kill people they find annoying.

The ultimate example I feel of this, is Mary Ann. Ruben gets blasted into hell because his actions personally annoyed the players, Ivy gets stabbed to death while being repeatedly insulted and threatened with mutilation because her actions personally annoyed the players.

But Mary Ann is the one they all think they can redeem or save, because her personality is more cute and endearing to the players. That kind of says it all better than I ever could.

[triptychgrip]

Viktor's (post-canon) turmoil around Yuuri's retirement

I've often thought about how Viktor might handle the realities around Yuuri's eventual retirement from competition, both from a coach standpoint, as well as a partner standpoint.

I'd imagine that his idealized version could be summed up by the following thoughts:

1) "Wow! My darling Yuuri (and beloved husband) has so much to be proud of!"

2) *Runs through an internal list of Yuuri's many accomplishments, including his gold medal win at the 2018 PyeongChang Olympic Games, which will probably be followed by another gold medal at the 2022 Beijing Games*

3) "He's come so far, by way of his own tenacity and hard work, as well as the strength he derives from the relationship we have on and off the ice. I feel so privileged to support him as we navigate this next chapter of our lives."

4) "I can't wait to partner with Phichit to co-plan a retirement party that is perfectly fitting with his tastes (i.e. as much as I'd really like to invite the entire country of Japan to attend, as well as hold a week-long parade in Hasetsu marked by 20 feet tall floats of Yuuri in every single one of his Free Skate program costumes over the years, I'll exercise restraint)"

But the reality?

I honestly think Viktor would be a mess, and there's a good chance that such a big change in their lives would trigger his own insecurities.

I have some pretty bleak headcanons around Viktor's past, and believe he probably has some form of complex PTSD from childhood emotional neglect/trauma. Perhaps he was able to blunt a lot of this pain through avoidance (i.e. immersing himself totally and completely into the impossibly high demands of an elite figure skating career), but he's likely had to work on healing by way of being in a serious, long-term relationship with Yuuri.

But no matter how much healing we've done, trauma can manifest in surprising and disconcerting ways.

In thinking about the end of his tenure as Yuuri's coach, it could very well be that Viktor starts to panic. When he's no longer in such a role, will he still be 'useful' to Yuuri?

Will he still be able to hold his husband's interest? What will happen if Yuuri suddenly finds him boring when their lives don't involve the high-pace rigor of competition and training anymore? Could he forget how to "surprise" him?

Thinking about this transitional period in their lives motivated me to write a 55K Viktor POV story set during the summer before Yuuri's impending retirement (right after the 2022 Beijing Olympic Games). While it has a somewhat crack-y premise (i.e. Viktor convinces Yuuri to become his pole-dancing "coach"), you'll find that this story contains some major feels as it pertains to Viktor trusting Yuuri with his insecurities.

It's part of my larger 2018/2022 Olympic Games fic series, but I think it can still be enjoyed even without having read the other parts of the series (and in the beginning author's note, I relay some important context that'll help folks if they haven't read the main fic).

Below is an excerpt from Chapter 2, when in attempting to inform their friends that Yuuri will become his pole-dancing coach, Yuuri's drunkenness leads everyone to misunderstand, thinking that 1) he's planning on becoming Viktor's skating coach and 2) that Viktor is "unretiring", lol.

Note of context & content warning: 1) Yuuri and Viktor now live in Fukuoka, Japan, and Viktor coaches both Yuuri and Yurio (Yura) at the same rink as Minami Kenjirou and 2) this excerpt contains mentions of alcohol consumption

I hope it piques your interest!

----

Yuuri was now blinking at Ryuichi, looking puzzled. Without warning, he slapped his hand down on the table, making a good number of them jump.

“I’m gonna be Vitya’s coach!” he crowed, his eyes growing huge and sparkly.

Instantly, Viktor was reminded of that life-changing Sochi banquet night when the love of his life had humped his thigh while begging for him to come to Hasetsu.

Pffffftttttt!

A spray of sake just narrowly missed Yuuri, but, unfortunately, Niko and Kenjirou weren’t able to escape Yura’s spewing.

Sharp yelps and choice swears overlapped, and a few seconds of confusion ensued, during which time nobody seemed to know where to direct their attention.

“Viktor-sensei, you’re coming back to competition?” Izumi shrieked in his direction, while patting at Niko’s face with some napkins. (Actually, she was missing completely and patting her shoulder instead, as she didn’t seem to be able to take her eyes off of him).

“What the fuck, geezer, don’t tell me you’ve finally lost it?!” Yurio spluttered next, staring daggers at him.

He seemed largely unbothered by the fact that Kenjirou was using the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe his face.

“You’re like a million years old, there’s no way you can do this,” his student continued, heatedly. “But more importantly: LIKE HELL YOU WILL, YOU’RE MY FUCKING COACH NOW. There’ll be none of this double-duty nonsense that you tried to pull four years ago!”

“Oooh, I hadn’t given much thought to competitions yet,” Yuuri then interjected, with a blissful, silly grin, while Ryuichi gaped at him.

He looked a bit horrified, as if Yuuri had suddenly announced that he found katsudon repulsive.

Viktor let his heart-shaped smile take over his face, thoroughly enjoying their friends’ shocked reactions to his husband’s drunken miscommunication. It wasn’t as if he was reluctant for them to find out that the ‘coaching’ Yuuri had mentioned was in reference to pole-dancing, and not figure skating. After all, his spouse’s local popularity as a pole instructor was hardly a secret, and Viktor knew for a fact that if they had more time in their schedules, both Izumi and Wakaba would be interested in taking some classes. Rather, it was simply more fun to see what the reactions to his “unretiring” were.

He half-expected Yura to FaceTime Yakov somewhere in the next twenty seconds, begging their former coach to rage at him until he saw sense.

“Yuuri-senpai, you know I think the absolute world of you,” Kenjirou began, still patting his face while gesturing emphatically in his idol’s direction. “But isn’t this a bad idea? Are you really sure you want to coach Viktor-sensei? You’re not even retired yet!”

Yuuri’s vacant, silly grin disappeared, and he appeared to give up on trying to fish out the lemon slice from his shochu cocktail.

The glint of determination that Viktor so adored began to dance fiercely in his dark eyes, and Kenjirou gulped, looking appropriately intimidated.

“Oh, I see, you don’t think I’m up to the task? You think I’m just a softie, that I’ll go easy on him because I love him?” Yuuri asked, sharply, his words having lost that soft, hazy patina of inebriation.

At this accusation, Kenjirou’s eyes widened, but before he could correct this assumption, Yuuri went on, locking eyes not only with Kenjirou, but with each of their friends, who were staring at him, looking wary. Even the ever-stoic Otabek looked a bit unnerved.

[sinningtamer]

Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your favourite fics and ships?

Love all your art btw! <3 Thx for all the food!

i might've years ago, so let's go again! i'm gonna answer this question as only NSFW/kink related, otherwise the list would be way too long haha

alright let's start with the obvious: ParviII is and always will be my #1 one ship, even when I dip in and out of the fandom a lot (i feel the term OTP is super outdated these days? but if there was one ship i could use it with it's them...)

so obviously i'm gonna say Talking Body and Payment and Payback by @sparxwrites. because. you know. how can i not. oh yeah, Good Vibrations is also a classic. hiii sparx, i'm sorry for picking your older fics, i just have such a bias. they've written a ton of great stuff over the years though, so go give the account a peak! there's something for everyone, especially if you like darker stuff.

...speaking of accounts with a lot of content who lurk around here, shoutout to @pawpunkao3. lmpᴇarI is one of my favorite ships, and they're still such a rarepair somehow?? anyways I think about Between Bedrock and a Hard Place at least once a week tbh. A New Religion That'll Bring You To Your Knees is fantastic, and i have a soft spot for I Spy (even tho i didn't watch too much empires). again, another author with a whole arsenal under their belt, so don't just take my word for it and check the rest of his fics!

back to lmpᴇarI being a rarepair... @thatstoomuchsoup has Chicken Soup for the Soulbounds (okay it's more pearI-centric but they're both there) and is another blog that specializes in some of my kinks and these fandoms. same with @anon-teddy's content, gotta give a shoutout to full. this is also making me realize i haven't sought out enough poly S0up Group or GᴇmpuIse/PᴇarIgem fics...maybe i'll get back to you on that...

there's a bunch of good explicit trᴇᴇbark fics, but i said i was gonna keep this list concise, so the only one i'll specifically point to is how to deal with your supernatural lust for blood (and other things) in a completely normal and god-honoring fashion. for...reasons. also because it's good!

edit: oh my GOD i realized two seconds after posting this i completely forget to mention @also-an-art. go read (this is) hungry work and honey don't feed it right fucking now. i've read both of these in full (pun intended) multiple times they're that amazing. it's rare that the plot is just as good as the horniness, when i tell you i lost my mind at some of the development in these. also hot and dirty (like the la air) is a guilty pleasure. AND it introduced me to a song that ended up being #20 on my spotify wrapped LOL (RPF warning on that one! trust me tho)

let's get to my other bias, shall we? RᴛSpiff and RᴛS00t don't....have any explicit fics. nor does poly lᴀds. CMRᴛ does, though! I'm kinda picky about how people characterize them, but play it cool and Every Stumble and Each Misfire are lovely (note that the second one is also blatant RPF! don't say i didn't warn you o7)

speaking of lᴀds, if you follow me on main, you know i got into Bᴀnᴀna Bᴜs Sqᴜᴀd just last year (I'M SORRY, OKAY, DON'T @ ME-) you'd think getting into an old fandom late would mean a ton of great smut fics, right? to be honest, i haven't found many that i care for, but maybe i'm just picky... however, i remember your lips, they're the ones i miss, and smoke in your lungs, your lips on mine are SO GODDAMN GOOD i'm not even mad it's only those two i like because i could reread them 20 times. god. such fun characterization. shame the author orphaned them because i badly wanna read more of their stuff.

this is the part where you go, spirit, do you read anything besides (mᴄ)yt fandoms??? and i go, not really.............well, sort of. i like 0verwatch! and M0icy!! Reciprocity is a delightful PWP long fic. i'm also not really an omegaverse guy, but Water Me has such a good take on it i fell in looove.

okay, i'm gonna cut myself off here, enough though i could probably name dozens of more fics if i sat and thought about it. if anyone i tagged wants to be untagged, feel free to reply here or shoot me an ask/dm!!

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (23/06/24)

no BA finale this week cause there won't be (good) subs for at least a day or 2 so may as well just put it on next week's post gonna be a p chill week since most shows are over now but the week after we start the summer season so that'll be nice

green - new series/new to me blue - finale/completed

Anime

The Idolmaster Shiny Colours Ep12 (Finale)

I love imas, like a lot, so this was very disappointing for me. The Million Live anime being CG was already bad enough but when we learned this was gonna be too it was even worse cause it showed bamco is going all in on shitty cg anime instead of traditional animation. ML wasn't terrible, to be fair, so it gave me some hope for this but it was way worse than ML. It's also very unfortunate that it aired on the same season as Girls Band Cry which singlehandedly made me respect CG anime so it looks extra extra bad in comparison

Other than the fact that it was CG how was the rest of it? It was alright, even in this it was weaker than other seasons. It had the usual structure of having an episode dedicated to each of the units so you get to know them and the such and big group episodes. That was my favourite part of the anime, seeing the different units interact with each other which doesn't happen much in the game. There weren't like any emotional payoff scenes like we usually get tho Also is it just me or did L'Antica get a lot less screentime than the rest? They got their own episode like the others but after that it felt like they got relegated to just showing up every now and then so the other girls could be like "wow they're so cool", which they are but cmon now. The music was good ofc, it's imas after all. Last 2 episodes were pretty disappointing tho. Despite how good the songs are, having your finale be mostly playing 2 full 4+ minute songs, and the penultimate episode being playing each unit's song (short ver) with reused coreography just isn't great. It did a good enough job simulating the concert feeling but it also made it feel like the anime ended episodes ago and this was just an extra treat

Anyway that's enough yapping from me. TL;DR is that I'm very disappointed and it coulda been a lot better if bamco wasn't cheaping out so hard but what can you do Before S1 even aired they had already announced S2, and last week (? recently) they announced it'll come fall this year so that's nice. It'll be the same quality so not getting my hopes up but looking forward to seeing the girls from noctchill and straylight in action too

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night Ep12 (Finale)

I talked about it in the post for ep 1 but it's funny how I almost didn't watch the show despite being hype for it when it was announced. It turned out very good tho, thank you dogakobo The synopsis for it not being very clear and it being on hidive lead to not that many people watching but it's well worth. It's a story about a group of creative girls (in different areas) coming together and making music while helping each other with their insecurities and hang ups

My only complaints with the show are the yuri baiting they did like 3 times, I'm used to it by now but cmon, and how two charas didn't get the comeuppance for their actions but that's just how life is sometimes. Other than that it was all good, the story and message overall were nice, all the main 4 got to have their own little arcs and growth, the music was great, as you'd hope from a show about music and the visuals had that dogakobo polish I've come to expect from them. Oh also, I think this was the first time takahashi rie and itou miku did a show together and it was great, I already love them individually but they had really good chemistry in this

Manga

Ultimate Exorcist Kiyoshi Ch1

well that was something huh Before release, with the promotional material they put out, they never mentioned once that this was gonna be a comedy series so imagine my surprise when I saw that it was. They really made it look like it was gonna be another edgy exorcist series especially with a mc that looks like that but nope. It's basically OPM but he's an exorcist instead Also, it's super weird for them to start 2 exorcist comedy series back to back like this right? I mean they're different types, youkais and demons, but it's still very weird I think Anyway, I don't think this series will live long tho. While the art is good, having yet another exorcist and yet another comedy series isn't gonna cut it. Plus the other one is a shorter page count so it's easier to have around. Hopefully they get another shot cause, again, the art is pretty good

Akane-banashi Ch115

we still don't know the results but that was an INCREDIBLE performance, like I even got goosebumps. akane usually does this but I really liked how they connected the story that was being told with the storyteller's own story, it felt even more effective than usual in this case. I'm sure he'll pass the test, there's no way he won't (right...?) but we'll see for sure next week

[derekscorner]

Witchy Timez: Origins

Part Five & the art-style so good it's supernatural

Welp I finally got to playing Origins a while back. Finished it a week or two ago. I wanted to add it to my other Bayonetta rambles (listed at the end) but I wasn't sure what to add really.

I found the game good and very pretty. It's art-style is genuinely it's greatest asset. They wanted to portray it like it was a storybook and they did it so well that it's hard to put into words.

Gameplay was fine too. I had a few personal issues at most.

Game-Play(ed)

My biggest complaint was the lack of a mini-map. I felt the game needed one badly. I was opening the menus to view the map every few minutes and got lost more than once.

Which, yes, is a bit funny because the purpose of the Avalon Forest is to be a maze but it can leave you frustrated if you plan to track down all the items and Wisps.

My second issue was a very personal and nitpicky one. I didn't like Cheshire's forms by the end of the game. It got a tad annoying to swap repeatedly when I'm having to control both he and Cereza at once.

Had I no experience with TWEWY in my youth I imagine I'd be even more annoyed with the set up there. That said, I do like the abilities so rather than forms I wish Cheshire had abilities rather than forms.

Something to streamline the annoyance of color-coded enemies regardless of how lite they are used.

Hell, I wouldn't even have this complaint at all if I had free access to unbound Cheshire after you complete the game. His unbound form is what I would prefer in this situation.

They'd have to nerf it compared to the unbound form naturally but it would be a welcome idea....watch someone comment that you can unlock unbound Cheshire as soon as I post this.

Dat Story

I don't even know what to say on a base level here. The story was solid given what we've seen of young Cereza in Bayonetta 1. Watching her befriend a newborn demon is cute even if their squabble arc could be seen a mile ahead.

It also makes you genuinely curious about the fairies as a facet of the Bayonetta universe. Several things in this game make you more curious about the Bayo-verse in fact.

Such as Prince Lukaon, Morgana, and the whole unseen backstory of the fairy kings. The whole nature of the mischievous creatures is fascinating and they offer an odd parallel to humanity.

Hell, let's just dive into the broader strokes of that multiverse.

The magical & non-magical

As we learned in Bayonetta 1 & 2, humanity itself is weak. They lack magic and die easily. They only gained a semblance of power through Aesir's mercy but even then they couldn't do much.

The whole reason Lumen Sages & Umbra Witches form pacts with Heaven & Hell is to gain power. Their magic is tied to that and their soul is the cost they pay.

But like I mentioned in a previous post, the world of chaos is fittingly full of parallel timelines and pocket dimensions because it is, by definition, without solid order.

There is a future for every human there is to shape that future. Purgatory itself only exists as a pocket space between Chaos, Heaven, and Hell.

However, as if to exist in counterbalance, Chaos does have it's own form of magical being, the Fae. We don't know where they came from nor do we know which timeline they hide in.

Going by Bayo 3 and Origins they seem to pick specific worlds to hide in implying they have a means to jump them. It's possible that Avalon Forest itself branches into more than one world given how it feels as if it's a world unto itself when you play Origins.

Vast enough to have warring kingdoms and kings. Countries hidden in illusions. It's all very fascinating stuff and I find myself hoping to see more of it....well with caveats.

Baoynetta 3's Shadow

You know I would have to bring it up when it's shown that this Cereza is the younger version of Bayo 3. If you complete the Jeanne chapter you even see ol' Singularity himself. We also see that this Jeanne is the one that'll die in the third game.

This...did not sit right with me. Many others praise this reveal because they feel it fixed some of Bayonetta 3's story but I had the opposite impression. It felt like patch work, a band-aid.

Just like Bayo 3 it also opens up other cans of multiverse worms. Such as Prince Lukaon and his relationship with King Lukaon and every version of Luka to exist ever.

How can the king of Fae be Luka's variant if the prince Lukaon died? There's several ways theorize theorize that question of course but it's the question existing at all that kind annoys me.

Is Luka the prince's reincarnation? The game does make a note to point out the unknown destination of fairies when they die. Is King Lukaon a version of the prince that lived to adulthood? Probably.

Then there's the question of this backstory. The extra chapter makes it explicit that this is bayonetta 3 Cereza as she's referred to by the 3rd games villain via the name "Arch-Eve Origin".

Yet, the issue of Bayo 3's ending splitting the previous titles crops up. Sure, we know that young Cereza in Bayo 1, this Cereza from Origins, and the Bayo 3 Cereza are the same person.

But what about Cheshire? Why does Viola have Cheshire when it's made clear she's not this specific Cereza's daughter. Does Cheshire have variants due to being a young demon or is he just a single demon that's partial to Bayonetta in all forms due to his experiences?

Hell, does this backstory also apply to the Cereza of Bayo 1 & 2? Does it apply to even more such as Beta Cereza (viola's mother)?

From what I can tell the devs are being smart enough not to clarify but I do think this makes Bayo 3 messier in ways. It doesn't harm this games story or fun to me.

These questions only really pop up if you've played Bayo 3 and the Jeanne chapter....

THEN THERE WAS THE FUCKING EYES

I was trying to ignore it but I can't. I had a whole separate post for these eyes because it's a personal irk of mine. Do they still exist? Don't they?!

Sure, this is in the past. We saw Baldur regain his right eye once he was thrown back to his proper time but that just amplifies the headache!

On the one hand, her having the eye still explains how she defeated a fully matured witch BUT ON THE OTHER WHY IS IT STILL HERE?

To hell with arch-eve's. If the eyes still exist then Singularity is a fucking fool for not trying to claim them. Arch-Eve's & Adams may be a way to collapse the timelines but by hell the eyes are the objects of a god.

They MADE that world of Chaos. They briefly gave it order. He could find a timeline, steal the eyes, and be done. The eyes and eves existing in tandem adds to the headache. I don't understand if they were erased from one timeline or all of them.

Do they just cease to exist in the present due to Bayo 2? If they persist regardless then why have this stupid Arch-eye plot? Just go for the fucking eyes.

The worst part is that I'm unsure I even want an answer. The multiverse as presented in Bayonetta 3 hasn't been that well done and even this mini tangent I've added at the end is mostly my nitpicks.

But I do worry they will double down. If you can't construct it well or at least pass off the paradoxes with levity then don't try it. Please.

Conclusion

All in all a good game. Love the art-style, love little Cereza's story, I even love how the game goes from this new thing to full on Bayonetta in the final battle.

You can quite literally feel the shift from beating up fairies to kicking a witches ass as soon as Cereza says her iconic "let's dance" line.

It's just the minor things that annoyed me at worst. No mini-map, lite color-coded enemies, all the multiverse sh*t t hey snuck in with Jeanne's chapter.

As with any Bayo game it's very good as is. It's only someone like me who'd be bothered by what's mentioned. Not for story consistency so much as character consistency.

Action game stories tend to be less serious and more setting so any time you see someone mad at a Bayonetta or Devil May Cry type of game it's usually because it's really bad to play or a character was just did wrong.

Anywho, bye now~

==========

For the rest of the Witchy Timez Ramblings go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/Witchy-Timed

[keephisname]

8/6/2023 @ 1:37 a.m.

It's been a few days. I honestly haven't been doing much better.

Clove has been, thankfully, keeping me in line. I've realized over the last few days that I'm kind of a bad person. I'm not really sure where it came from. But oh dear god, how bad I've wanted to be petty. I've wanted to message your younger sister type petty. I wanna text you again and tell you you're a bad friend for doing this type petty. I wanna go to your house type petty. I wanna leave a note on your car type petty, I wanna tell friends just outside your circle type petty. But I also learned I'm a coward. Cause everything I want to do is not directly at you.

I honestly didn't think you were working today when I went in to return those shoes. I thought you had taken weekends off this summer. Maybe you picked up a shift. Maybe it was just another thing you didn't tell me. But I couldn't face you when I saw you at the register. Clove said it would be fine, that you weren't even at the register, you were just at the desk, and it would be okay. But I couldn't do it. The sides of my vision got dark, and my chest got heavy. Again, just by seeing you. Clove was worried I would confront you in some way, when the reality was seeing you at that moment sent me into a near panic attack.

I pushed the shoes at him and got out of the building. The last thing I was going to do would be to make this public to strangers.

I did post about you in an off-handed way on Snap. Again, both petty and a coward. But, in my twisted defense, I had gotten no more than three hours of sleep in 3 days. I was up every single night thinking about losing you, how you were feeling, and just how awful you made me feel. I just wanted you to know how shitty I felt cause you cut me off in this way. It frustrates me not knowing how you're feeling, cause I'm awful and want you to hurt just as bad as I do. I just mentioned everything that happened in the month and concluded it with the last thing that happened in July -- you. I dint mention your name. just that I "damaged the relationship with my best friend of ten years." I followed it up with a post about the support structures that I have and did send genuine appreciation to those who have helped me. I didn't mean the second one to be pointed out against you. I honestly didn't think you'd see either of them. I was surprised you did check.

I did get messages from people I haven't talked to in a long, long time. Some I barely even know anymore. That felt nice, in a weird way.

Also, I told Buzz what happened. I miss her so much, she's always been an angel. I told her you cut us off (Myself, Clove, and Richie), and that it wasn't good. I told her to reach out to you and check on you. I hope you talk to her, and open up to her a little. Talking to her always makes me feel better, and I hope she makes you feel better too.

Richie did text me. I'm going to tell him to get in contact with you. I understand cutting off me and Clove, but Richie didn't do any of what you told us. It feels like he just ended up swept into this without any say or wrongdoing on his part.

I just can't bring myself to tell my family. They'll ask too many questions and it will just make me feel awful all over again. I'm just not ready for that yet. I know I have to, but goddamn it's so hard.

I'm debating texting you when I head up to school. I don't know if it'll be too soon, but I feel bad thinking that ill leave and not say goodbye. I don't know. I don't want to push you so hard that you end up blocking me.

Today was better. I have no idea how the rest of this week is going to go. Maybe ill get better at writing these.

xx,

Ms. U

P.S. I figured I'd get in the habit of using fake names. I know that's cliche, but I think one of the reasons writing these entries is making me feel better is because it feels like this is fiction or some weird reality story that'll "one day go viral and it'll become a movie" type beat. It's nice, nad it makes it a little fun in a weird way.

[mfingenius]

post breakup drarry svp

It's amicable; there isn't really another option. There's no screaming, no infidelities, there isn't even any slammed doors or forgotten dates. They don't even drift apart, really, it's just logic.

"Darling." Pansy's sighing, kicking off her stillettos and signaling for him to lift his head; he does, and she slips underneath him, resting his head on her lap and running her fingers through his hair. "It's been three days. I don't want to rush you, but you're staring to worry me."

"I'm fine," he says. He's leaving for Brazil in three days, for a Potions' apprenticeship that's literally everything he's ever wanted in his life; he's not going to let it go, not even for Harry, not even for their relationship, and Harry - who can't leave, as he's just signed his contract with the Chudley Cannons - isn't going to give up his dream, either.

It's what's best for both of them, it really is.

It doesn't mean Draco doesn't feel like his entire torso is suddenly void of all of his organs.

"You've cried every single night since you broke up," she says. It's true, but it's been barely a week, so he assumes that's normal; he's never had a breakup - at least not from any relationship that mattered to him - and neither has Pansy, so they're both a little clueless here. She'd tried getting him ice cream and Hollywood rom-coms, which Luna had told her were essential to get over any break up, but neither of them understood the muggle references in the films and Draco's always lost any sort of appetite when he's sad.

They also tried firewhiskey, but even that has lost the appeal, and Pansy's suggestion of a rebound shag had been met with silence; that's what Draco's done, after other breakups, but it had been spite, or simple carelessness, and Draco isn't angry.

He wishes he were. Maybe that would give him a break from the feeling of emptiness inside him that's only ever absent when he's crying and feeling so sad he feels like his emotions are lead, pulling his heart down to his feet and then past them, down past the earth and the fossils Granger had told him about and anything that's even remotely reachable.

"So?" he asks. "You cried every day for two weeks after they changed the label on your favorite brand of firewhiskey."

"Shut up," Pansy says, and yeah, it was a bit of a low blow; he knows Pansy hates any kind of change. A part of him is afraid of what will happen when he goes to Brazil, but she's assured him a thousand times that she'll be alright.

Blaise, who knows just how much Pansy hates change, has assured Draco he'll use a cardboard cut-out of him until she can get used to his absence. Draco knows that won't work, but he hopes she'll at least get a laugh out of it.

"I just want to disappear," he says. Not even in a dying sort of way, just in a way that'll mean he doesn't have to experience this suffocating sort of sadness anymore. It's too exhausting, he can feel it in his bones, and it isn't even like the other kinds of sadness that he's experienced in his life; it's worse, because instead of anger or righteousness, it's just accompanied by the all-consuming desire of everything being different.

He knows that isn't going to happen.

Pansy sighs. "Come on. We'll watch something on the telly."

She flips it on with the remote, and Draco sighs.

"Nature channel?" she asks. "That always puts you to sleep."

Draco doesn't answer, and she takes that as a yes and puts it on; he closes his eyes and tries not to think about the way he used to fall asleep in Harry's arms when they watched it at his house, because that always sends a wave of longing through him that's so strong it makes him nauseous.

--------------------------------------------------------

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Commissions

[maximotts]

Alright Tumblr, it's time to have a chat.

If you don't know anything about the events of this week then you're lucky, honestly, I wish I were you. However, if you do know something then this post is for you to either read and hear what I have to say or ignore it, but for me and my own well-being I have to be as upfront as I can.

First off, here are the facts:

1) There was a conversation that went on in my server when I wasn't around that involved comments saying someone was "a waste of time and space" and "would honestly hit them with several cars"

2) When I was made aware of this conversation happening, I went to the person who'd said it (a close friend of mine, someone who had been friends with and very hurt by person who was the subject of the nasty comments) privately, made sure they knew it wasn't appropriate and that those things shouldn't have been said. They were drunk when the comments were made, but that was no excuse; no one should say those things about people.

3) I also went to someone else who was friends with the subject of the comments to make sure they were okay/still felt comfortable and they didn't feel pressured to "choose sides" or anything.

4) The next day, screenshots of cut parts of the initial conversation, specifically the two statements that I quoted were taken and shared to the person being talked about after there was a separate argument in another server.

5) From the moment I was first made aware of the comments being said, I was fearing backlash from this person, but I'd hoped that since I dealt with it as I saw fit and made sure everything was okay that we would all move past the issue like adults- unfortunately that's not what happened.

6) I was hit out of the blue with very confrontational messages from the person that was the subject of the comments and it was pretty much my worst nightmare. Yes, I used to be friends with this person, but we had a falling out that went on and kept going on and I've since tried to distance myself and just move on quietly to let us both exist in peace.

7) Maybe it sounds childish, but after everything that's happened in the past few months, I simply shut down. There was screaming and crying and panic attacks and my girlfriend had to encourage me to contact my mom so she could come pick me up for my own safety. I didn't respond to this person because I, again, just try to keep my distance.

Now, I'm back at my own apartment today and I was told this morning that it's being implied that I stood by and let these comments happen when it's been made clear by multiple people that I wasn't anywhere around when the conversation happened. I had the follow ups with people that I saw fit to move past it civilly and everyone may not agree with how I've said I've handled it, but I'm only a 24 year old college student who writes smut about fictional characters on the internet. I'm not a conflict negotiator, I'm not perfect and I try to always own up to my mistakes when I make them, which is why I'm making this post now.

I will take responsibility that it did happen in my server and I really am sorry, honestly. I don't condone that behavior, I never have and I never will, and I'm sorry that it happened in my server which I've stated many times is supposed to be as fun and positive space as possible. Personally, I have never said anything negative about this person in public or private; I've never contacted them after they decided to let our friendship end nor have I ever dealt out any backlash. I have long since apologized and tried to move on to protect my own mental health and act in a way that I felt would keep me the safest; maybe I'm not perfect, but no one is.

In all honesty, I am very tired and I'm very concerned for any backlash or whatever that'll come from me posting about this, but I just need this all to end. Tumblr was supposed to be just a fun little thing for me, but it's turned toxic and scary for me when every day I wake up to hear something is being said or something else is happening; it's draining beyond belief and it should have stayed a contained, private incident, but unfortunately it hasn't.

My DMs are open and my anons are on because I believe in honesty and openness and if there are questions or harsh judgements, so be it.

[mypimpademia]

Shinso x reader, Mina x reader, Kaminari x reader, Kirishima x reader

TW: Swearing

Note: another part of my high school AU! I've been wanting to write for some characters that I dont write too often, and I thought this would be the best way, enjoy!

Thank you to @katsuflossy for helping me w shinso and Kaminaris soccer parts😭

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @katsuflossy @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixfi @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @her-majesty-kiara @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @1-800-s1mping @angiebug101 @mads-fairy @solar3lunar

SHINSO.

He's one of the people that genuinely perfers being alone most of the time

And hes very intimidating to most people, but most realize that he's pretty chill and cool if you just talk to him

Hitoshi would be on the soccer team too

Number 12 baby (Ronaldinho's number)

Hed play midfield, and have insane control over the ball

Hes calm on the field just like he is off it

But he gets a little competitive sometimes, might have to sit down and take a breather for a second

He sometimes ends up talking shit about his opponents, and he is NOT quiet about it

Will look the exact player he's talking about dead in the eye and say that shit

"I'll knock your knees out if you push me again."

And he plays a little dirty, might kick the ball around in away that'll make people fall on their ass just to get a laugh out of it

He steps on and kicks shins too

Hes really the soccer teams MVP, they went one game without him an lost and realized just how much of a key he was to them

Hitoshi sees you as his good luck charm during games, if you're not there he feels like he can't play his absolute best

Good luck kisses before he goes on the field are mandatory, if you dont give him one or forget, youre gonna get a very sweaty hug after the game

Hitoshi has only ever come to school in sweatpants and hoodies, and only wears jeans or something other than his usual once a week just so he can switch it up

He probably comes in with major bags under his eyes and smelling like coffee

And just a little bit late

He normally goes out to eat during lunch, and always takes you with him and let's you choose

You're honestly the most underrated couple in school

The loner boy and his gorgeous s/o, it's basically a real life wattpad story

When people try flirting with you, he tries getting his soccer cleats out on them and you have to stop him before someone gets hurt

Hitoshi is just underrated overall and no one but you and his friens realize, give him more recognition </3

MINA.

The really nice popular girl of course

But one of the popular people whose popularity actually means something for once

Gets along with basically the whole school

And she makes sure everyone knows she belongs to you and you belong to her

"Mhm, I've got a pretty s/o, and I love them soo much."

Probably posts you on all her socials (that the whole school follows) everyday

Mina has been in pretty much every club and team, which is exactly how she got popular

She joins as many as she can every year, but her favorites are dance and volleyball, maybe soccer too

For dance she likes to show you her routines, and maybe even teach you how to do them if you're down for it

"How was that?!"

"You wanna learn it too, babe? I could teach you!"

She's the captain of every team she's been on

It honestly just comes from her being so charismatic and the way she can get along with people and bring everyone together

Mina is 100% best dressed

Best everything honestly

Best dressed, Best hair, all that

She's cool with all the staff members, so sometimes the turn a blind eye if she decides to head out at random even when she's not supposed to

The two of you are Thee School Couple

Everyone wishes they were you guys or at least had a relationship like the one you had

Everyone would be in tears if yall so much as fought

So 10/10 for both of you

KAMINARI.

Certified pretty play boy

Hes a flirt, and friendly, and super popular

But the playboy act dropped once the two of you got together, because that's when everyone saw how much of a simp he was for you

Denki would just constantly fawn and gush over you, it would be annoying if it were anyone else, but it was just so cute to see him be so crazy for someone after he was basically known for never being tied down

Hes on the soccer team with Shinso!

Number 5 <3

Who did you think was calming Shinso down when he got mad??? Definitely not their other teammates

Hes the teams striker, and him an Shinso are so coordinated on the field together it leaves their own teammates in shock everytime

Hes a good sport (unlike Shinso), and is very friendly with his opponents

Wishes them luck before the game, helps them up if they fall, even says 'My bad!' If he accidentally trips someone, and tells the good job if they lose

Like Shinso, good luck kisses are a must

They're more like good luck make outs with him, and he usually ends up getting so wrapped up in them that he only makes it to the field by the skin of his teeth (he gets yelled at by the coach a lot)

He gets so god damn DIRTY on the field

And it doesn't even make sense because he really doesn't slide around or fall too much

He just manages to come out covered in dirt, and the sweat doesn't make it better

Oh, and even if you give him a good luck kiss, he still hugs you after the game

He doesn't do it to be mean, he just gets excited when he's on the field and has a bunch of energy left when games are over

Denki takes you to get ice cream after games. Shinso third wheels sometimes, but it's cool and not awkward at all because you're all besties

Denki is the most popular guy in school, and he'd be most popular overall if it weren't for Mina

You guys get rated cutest couple by all the students because no one had seen Denki simp till you came along and it was just too cute

Everyone wishes they could be yall </3

And half the school has beef with you because you're dating Denki and they're jealous

But you guys are still an adorable and amazing couple so who cares

KIRISHIMA.

The super sweet and popular jock!

Hes the older sibling to all the people younger than him and in lower grades

Hes on the football team of course

The quarterback too

Number 44

Hes that player that the coach is really trying to get a scholarship for

The one the coach pulls off to the side and says "son, let me talk to you..." and then tells him how far he'll go

Colleges are already scouting him

Most of the school is crushing on him honestly

But they all know that he's all for you and only you

Eiji gives you kisses before games, after games and sometimes when there's a long enough break he'll run and kiss you really quick

Hes a vv good sport, always wishes players good luck and says nice job after games, and separates any of his teammates that try to fight w their opponents then say sorry

It's usually Bakugo hes separating because hes on the football team with Eiji when he's not in Boxing

Everyone that's younger than you sees you and kiri as big siblings, and those older see you as cousins

Yall are just that couple that everyone loves

The whole school basically gushes when you walk in wearing his letterman jacket or one of his football jerseys

You're the couple the doesn't disgust everyone when you kiss in the halls <3

[skylardoesthings]

LEGACY SMP PROPAGANDA BABY

What is Legacy SMP? Legacy SMP is a vanilla survival invite-only server, with twenty-one active members and three inactive members! Currently, the server is on 1.17! Most streams on the server and some make videos! Currently, the SMP has been very slow paced so you can catch up fairly quickly!

The active members are: Avomance, BowTieDaniels, ChimneySwift11, JermsyBoy, Kimandjax, Logicalgeekboy, Mr Beardstone, Musicman1017, Nashcrafter, Nikolian, PoptartKatze, PyhtonMC, Skizzleman, Slicedlime, TheFrogQueen, ThomasToSpace, Viggoman!

The inactive members are: Archelaus ChosenArchitect, fWhip, GeminiTay, MythicalSausage, Pearlescentmoon, and ZloyXP!

Where can you watch the active members? Here's the list:

Avomance: YouTube, Twitch

BowTieDaniels: YouTube, Twitch

ChimneySwift11: YouTube, Twitch

JermsyBoy: YouTube, Twitch

Kimandjax: YouTube, Twitch

LogicalGeekBoy: YouTube, Twitch

Mr Beardstone: YouTube, Twitch

Musicman1017: YouTube, Twitch

NashCrafter: YouTube

Nikolian: YouTube, Twitch

PoptartKatze: YouTube, Twitch

PythonMC: YouTube

Skizzleman: YouTube, Twitch

SlicedLime: YouTube, Twitch

TheFrogQueen: YouTube, Twitch

ThomasToSpace: YouTube, Twitch

Viggoman: YouTube, Twitch

Legacy SMP website! Legacy SMP has its own website, in the website you can find the list of members, advancements from the advancement race, voting, the community, and server map! Here's the link to the website!

Lore? Yes, lore! Legacy has some lore and bits of roleplay in their SMP, now their acting isn't the greatest in the world but what the lore gives you makes up for it, here's a little explanation for the lore in Legacy SMP! I won't do an in-depth explanation cause that'll take too long but here's what you need to know,

1. The Wither Fight The wither fight is something that happened in Season one, it started as a game of spawning withers with the members IGN and it ended with the legates spawned in around 260 withers at the same time, causing the world to fall from the Withering energy,

2. Python's Summoning This lore isn't that big or has much play in anything but- Python was summoned into Legacy because of Logic's experiment.

3. Church Of The Holy Bee The simplest way I can explain this is that Chim made a Chuch of Bees in Season one because he liked them so much.

4. One True King Feud So, in season one Logic and Sausage made a castle in the fantasy area, and because of that, it caused the both of them to have a feud on who the one true king is,

5. The Withering Energy The Withering Energy is an energy that was caused by the withers in season one1, it is a hivemind that controls The Chaotic Events.

6. The Chaotic Events? The Chaotic Events are controlled by us viewers in the Legacy Website, every two weeks or so there will be an event that you can vote for, and the winner of the votes will be unleashed on the server.

7. Quantum Reef City Ah yes, Quantum Reef City or QRC is Logic's base in the server, the base is made with a futuristic style floating in the water, a drastic change from the server's post-apocalyptic builds. Why is this a part of the lore? I can't say because it'll spoil things, but I suggest looking at the world map on the website, you can't miss it, big towers white concrete with different coloured stained glass with very odd placements for each build.

8. The Advancement Race Legacy can have an advancement pack in their server! It is the blaze and cave advancement pack, that pack adds 750 new custom advancements to the server! Why is this a part of the lore? Well, at the end of the race something happened, what happened? Can't say it unless you want some spoilers.

If you're interested I suggest starting with season one's episode finale then going with SlicedLime and LogicalGeekboy in season two, then continuing with ThomasToSpace and BowTieDaniels when they've joined!

And as a bonus have some screenshots, most of them is from the season 2 trailer cause it's a pain trying to find some good screenshots, some with shaders some not,

[butmakeitgayblog]

Hi dropping by for 2 things... I think? I'm so sleepy can't think! 😬

First, thank you for your clexa fic and just had discovered your cruel intentions clexa fic today. Idk why, it blows my mind🤯 I mean i love everything you write about clexa so idk why i'm shooked.

Second, Please don't be scared for my over abundance of ❤️ and reblogged you would see on your notif 😬 I forgot to be discreet on reblogging since I got excited over your CI Clexa.

Also for your ship question game, I would really like to know

Cruel Intentions (Pre relationship)4,5 and 6 and (General) 1,2 and 3

Teach Me (love) 4 and 5, 9 and 10

(domestic) 6,9 and 10

G'night and stay safe you and everyone on here. I might dream CI Clexa thanks to you! ☺️

Hello hello!

Ok listen because I've gotten this a few times within the last couple weeks and I'm not sure what's causing it but let me say without pause, please god do not apologize for liking and reblogging. You don't have to be ~discreet~, I don't think it's cringey, I don't think anything other than "Oh they like it 🥺👉👈"

I have fun writing this stuff and interacting with you guys, but it's still work, so you guys interacting is the whole point! Without likes or reblogs or asks I have no idea if anyone likes a story. Without them I'm sat here wondering if anyone even likes or cares about this extra stuff and in turn that'll make me question if I'm wasting my time 🤷‍♀️. I have a few people who show up every few days and just go through everything and what that tells me is wow, someone took time out of their day to look at my stuff and appreciate the work I put out. That's fuckin awesome. So please, don't apologize. I'd rather hear and see what you guys like than wonder if I'm screaming into a void

Ok I'll put my answers under the cut because this already long cuz I can't shut up 😅

Cruel Intentions

Pre relationship:

4: Oof that's a hard question to answer. You're talking about two woman who really good and living in denial and talking themselves into thinking they're above feelings. But I'd say if push came to shove, the first one to really give in and say "Shit ok I really have genuine feelings for her" would be Lexa.

5: Lexa more than Clakre despite Clarke being more slow in realizing that her feelings went much deeper than attraction and infatuation. I've touched on this in a few asks before and you can kinda see the thought process in that latest installment as well, but for a long time Lexa was intent on keeping Clarke at arm's length. Until she couldn't.

6: If someone had told younger them that they'd end up blissfully married and grow old together like two bickering haughty babies they would've told you to lay off the nose candy

General:

1: Part 1 of that has been posted, sorry can't spoil part 2 😈

2: ask me this again separately and I'll write a snippet for it

3: It's in a snippet so you'll be able to read it🥰

Teach Me

Love:

4: You mean once... everything happens? They're not the biggest on PDAs ironically considering they started out fucking all around campus on anything that would hold still. But once they settle into their relationship and stop feeling like they're living on stolen time? They like holding hands, small hello pecks, sitting close. That kinda stuff. Loving but respectful.

5: Both. Lexa's a big fan of hello kisses, celebratory kisses, still asleep midnight kisses to Clarke's shoulder that neither remember in the morning. Clarke likes forehead kisses and little thank you kisses and goodbye kisses because she wants the feel of Lexa's lips to tie her over for the day.

9: Short answer, Lexa but I'm not getting into it cuz spoilers 😔

10: A healthy mix of both. It does kinda surprise Clarke just how... physical Lexa can be once they start things up tho. Professor Elbow patches wasn't exactly kidding about the wild thing 🥴

Domestic:

6: Lexa, but within reason. She worries about things that are appropriate to worry about whereas Clarke's more of a just roll with it girl.

9: 🤐 they're gonna celebrate Lexa's birthday if that counts so you'll see

10: Both pretty equal. I mean Clarke's 39 and Lexa's 41, they were both married for close to two decades not to mention Clarke has a kid. They've definitely learned their way around a kitchen. The question is, can they not be too controlling to actually allow the other to help them in the kitchen🤔

[bookwyrminspiration]

(Ophelia) I’m sorry about the car crash, that’s terrible. I’m happy that you’re alright, though. I hope that the car doesn’t cost too much to repair if you have to repair it

(in case it isn't obvious from the ask above, this post talks about a car crash. so if you'd like to avoid that here is your warning)

Ophelia! Hello! And thank you, it is rather unfortunate. My mom had actually just replaced the windshield like 2 weeks ago, so terrible timing to have gotten in a crash. The car was newer as well; I don't even think we'd had it for more than a year, but there's nothing to be done about that now.

I am alright though! A little sore, but no skin broken and no bruising. At least so far--I might wake up with a few bruises, but I doubt it. It helped that I was able to slam on the breaks before the collision and that it was the right front that took like all of the impact, while i was in the left front (because I was driving). So there was a good amount of car before me to absorb the damage, which is what it's there for!

As for repairing the car, I don't think that'll be possible. It was essentially totaled and not at all in driveable condition. The other family car was over an hour away so I also got to add "getting a ride in a police car" to the list of Fun Things Quil Got To Do Today. You know, police cars are very messy. They had so many things in there, like a pile of caution tape just on the floor and this basket full of paperwork with an unopened flashlight.

But we do have insurance, as did the other driver. And as far as everyone can tell (meaning my family and the insurance people) the other driver will be found to be 100% at fault for the crash. I mean, the light was green and I had the right of way and they quite literally just drove in front of me so. Like buddy I am very clearly driving straight through this green light and you are turning in front of me why??? You do not have a green arrow and should've yielded to me??

Anyways, my life was going a little too smoothly so something had to spice it up and throw me for a loop. Insurance things are still being processed, but I am unharmed and we now have a rental car to replace the one that got totaled.

Honestly the most upsetting part of the situation is that I didn't get to say thank you to the car :(. Every time I drove it I'd always say "hello, goodmorning!" or "Hello to you too!" when I started it, and I'd say "thank you" as I turned it off once i'd gotten where I was going. But this time I didn't get to because I totaled it :(( and didn't think to say anything until after it'd been towed away. I didn't go to see it at the tow place either. And I'd been more forgetful about it recently so it's like we were still making amends. If I could I'd want to say "thank you" and "I'm sorry" to the car, because I genuinely formed an emotional attachment to it.

If you (or anyone else) is curious, I've included pictures with descriptions of the car after the wreck under the cut. You'll probably have to click to see the full image, and if you zoom in to the first picture you can kinda see all the airbags deployed. But I was inside that!

[ID: Two images of a dark blue 2017 Subaru Outback with a destroyed front. The first is from a 3/4th angle taken from the front to show the whole car. The damage is concentrated on the passenger side and the hood is crumpled up to expose the internal components. The wires for the headlight are falling out towards the ground and a large chunk of metal has broken off and lays almost entirely on the ground. The front bumper is only attached on one side and the rest drags on the ground. The front grate is also out of place and barely attached. Overall the front looks very squished with a clear site of impact on the right headlight.

The second image is of the same wrecked car but from the side so it's clear how much the hood crumpled. Everything has been compacted to about 1 foot in front of the tire. /End ID.]