context, if such a thing even exists
stede: i think we should ask the crew to provide their own linens when they visit
ed: aw, what? what kind of shitass inn doesn’t even do linens for their guests?
stede: we can still do linens for regular guests, i just think-
ed: oh, cmon, we can’t give the crew worse service, they already hate me
stede: they do not hate you-
ed: well they might if we skimp on the linens!
stede: ed-
ed: i’ve gotten really good at washing linens, actually. i don’t know if you’ve noticed that. see how little jizz is on our sheets?
stede: …i mean, there is that rather large—
ed: ok that’s from literally a twenty minutes ago that doesn’t count, you know that doesn’t count
stede: alright, alright
ed: we literally haven’t even gotten out of bed yet
stede: fair enough
ed: if i wasn’t good at doing laundry this sheet would be just one big jizz stain and you know it
stede: this is true, you’re right. you’ve done an excellent job, sweetheart
ed: aww thanks babe :)
stede: im just a bit worried about the foursome
ed: (experiencing a sudden coughing fit) the what?
stede: the foursome? jim, olu, archie, and zheng?
ed: oh. oh. (clears throat) i thought you—nevermind. um.
ed: uhh what about them? you think i can’t handle their post-orgy cleanup?
stede: well…
ed: wait, seriously? it’s just two extra people, mate, it’s not that much more mess
stede: it’s not the quantity i’m concerned with, it’s the. well.
ed: …well?
stede: well. the thing is, archie always refers to sex with her partners as “goop sex”
ed:
ed: goop sex
stede: yes, goop sex
ed: are you sure she doesn’t call it “group sex” and you’re just mishearing her?
stede: no, it’s definitely goop sex
ed: hm
stede: admittedly i’m not completely sure what goop sex actually is—unless you happen to be familiar…?
ed: yeah no i’ve never heard of goop sex
stede: darn. well, in any case, i imagine there’s a very strong possibility that goop sex stains fabrics!
ed: hm, yeah, probably
stede: so you see my concern
ed: i do, yeah
stede: with the linens
ed: mhmm
stede: especially since we only have the one set!
ed: mhmm
stede: which we should probably do something about, actually, if we want to provide free linen service to our guests. although maybe we can wait until after the crew visits so we have an excuse for not doing their linens? what do you think?
ed: mmm
stede:
stede: ed, darling
ed: hhwhat sorry huh
stede: you zoned out for a moment there
ed: oh shit, my bad, babe
stede: no worries! i was just wondering where you’d gone to
ed: right, well, i’d gone to goop sex
stede: yknow i probably could’ve guessed that myself actually
ed: specifically i was thinking that we should try and figure out what goop sex is
stede: i
stede: hm.
stede:
stede:
stede: okay, but—
ed: oh cmon don’t give me that
stede: ed, th-
ed: i saw your face just now! i bet you already have some ideas!
stede: ok but ed we really only have the one set of linens!
ed: and you’re telling me you’re not willing to risk those linens to try out some of your guesses about goop sex?
stede: y—i’m—well. I-I mean,
ed: yeahhhh that’s what i thought, you fuckin pervert
stede: alright well i better not hear any complaining when our only set of sheets is reduced to one big goop stain!
ed: that is a price i will gladly pay to let you try out your goopy sex theories on me
69 notes
·
View notes
I purchased a number of African Violets and Cape Primrose a little over a month ago, and for the most part they have all been growing absolutely great and also quite prolifically - two of them are already flowering and some others have buds coming up - EXCEPT the very first one that I considered...
My PT Wild Plum has been growing a lot, but in a really weird shape! And it turns out that what it is doing is growing a bunch of suckers, presumably because of the stress of getting mailed and then repotted. I dug out an old disposable scalpel I had in my bathroom cabinet and did some plant surgery on it.
I mangled one of the suckers beyond repair, but I managed to get four intact ones off of her, and since I didn't realize what they were and left them on so long, they all have little crowns of their own and will probably be able to root! As advised I stuck them in damp soil and then put them in a ziplock bag (with a little plant tag propping it up so the plastic doesn't rest on the leaves) to retain as much moisture as possible while they are still lacking in roots, and hopefully in about 1-2 months I'll have me some nice little mini violets to give away to friends and family!
Using an egg carton for this brings me back to elementary school, haha. I actually shifted around some eggs to be able to use this. x)
20 notes
·
View notes