#also they could just xray the bloody thing

[markscherz]

The Fredericton Region Museum won't let anyone take a DNA sample of the Coleman frog to confirm its species, but do you have any theories on IDing it? 🤔🤔🤔

I'd guess you'd get an ID of Bos taurus, given that it's such bullshit.

[tea-with-eleni]

...wait. so.

back in high school, I played viola. I love a viola, because I am a contralto/countertenor and I love the special snowflake clef and I am the kind of person naturally predisposed to being a support class. However, it caused some mysterious injury to my shoulder: it clicked out of place, it hurt, almost constantly. I was in pain, almost constant pain, for years but viola was also my sole extracurricular because it took up so much time and I needed it for college.

My parents never took me to a doctor because my dad is an optometrist. As such, he feels that he is a good general doctor for most things. When it comes to most common childhood ailments, like strep throat, he actually is pretty decent. His verdict on my shoulder was that any doctor would connect it to some nearly-unnoticeable scoliosis I apparently have (only visible on an xray and only if you deliberately look for it) and surgery would be the only solution.

No. My shoulder joint is just apparently a lot more mobile than it should be. It was falling out of socket. When I finally HAD to go to a doctor for college vaccines and all but screamed that I wanted to be FIXED PLEASE, their verdict was that a few weeks of physical therapy would sort it out. Which it mostly did; the worst of the pain was gone within four weeks. It took a few years for the rest of the pain to fade and now, ten years later, I get ghosts of it sometimes when I'm stressed. It still clicks out of place, but I also don't play viola anymore because the idea of the pain returning scares me. That's all.

I can't be mad that my parents missed the ADHD or probable autism; I'm low support needs. I can be absolutely bloody furious that I spent years in pain because of my dad. And it was bad. I assumed I was just bad at viola, I assumed I was doing something wrong, I modified the way I held the instrument so it rested on bone, I switched to violin just to get some relief even though it caused a bit of an identity crisis and I can't read treble clef. I spent years in terror that surgery was the only thing that could fix me.

Okay, but now I connect the dots that all of this might STILL be part of the autism thing because of how hypermobility is often linked to autism, I'm just on the low support needs end of the spectrum for all of that shit...

Fucking crying again.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e2: of mouse and man

episode summary: brain needs money to build a perpetual answering machine to occupy everyone in the world for long enough for him to take over. to do that, he needs an absurd amount of money, so he decides to get a job in an office!

and then fake a nondairy creamer accident that turned him into a mouse, because as we all know, brain has to take the most dramatic path he possibly can in life, or he dies.

the rundown:

we open with pinky showing off his ass.

PRODUCED BY PETER HASTINGS. i assume that means the episode, and not the ass. the ass was initially produced by pinky’s parents and then helped along by the warner brothers’ dietary experts for their. mouse actors.

brain isn’t feeling it right now.

instead, as he plucks a rib from the lab’s anatomical model of a human being, and uses it to unpick his cage, he angsts - WRITTEN BY PETER HASTINGS - he angsts over the Dark Side Of Man, that has built war machines and pollution spilling factories and

VOICEMAIL.

😱

as pinky continues to stick his ass out (though onlyfans wouldn’t be launched for another twenty one years) brain runs through his latest plan, which, of course, involves voicemail.

look at those wiggles. this is a rough draft episode.

anyway brain intends to reroute all telephone conversations into his confusing, recursive, voicemail service that, he claims, will keep the human race occupied for “at least seventy two hours.”

“more than enough time for a well prepared mouse to seize control of the planet.”

“i see! so all we need now is a well prepared mouse.”

I???????

HOLY FUCK

brain is unhappy. i am not surprised.

“i am a well prepared mouse, pinky.”

“oh. well. there you are, then.”

unfortunately this plan comes with the pitfall that it will cost.... one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars. which is a lot of money, or, as pinky puts it, “a lot of money!”

as brain wonders about how to raise these funds (”without running for congress”) pinky pinkys off to watch some tv.

HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED IN AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT

YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, EVEN ONE MILLION SIX HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS IN COMPENSATION

LENNY PARVIK GOT ME TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DOLLARS

EVEN THOUGH I’M NOW NINETY PERCENT FUDGE, IT’S OKAY BECAUSE LENNY PARVIK GOT ME ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY TWO DOLLARS SIXTEEN CENTS AND SOME CHANGE

<LOUD, INCREDIBLY DISTRESSED CRYING>

hm.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?“

“i think so, brain, but i get all clammy inside a tent.”

anyway so brain’s new plan is to get a job, stage a

HIDEOUS ACCIDENT

and then sue them for one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars in workers compensation.

this episode also has a lot of faces. god, but these mice are so bloody cute. youtube has not yet been invented, but one day it will be, and all brain has to do is sit in front of a camera and nom some corn and go O:O with his face, and everyone will be crying over him within minutes.

it’s so sad that he doesn’t know that.

but for now, he has a job interview to go to. good luck, brain! can’t be any worse than that time allsaints forgot about me and the manager acted like it was my fault.

“impressive credentials. you’re certainly qualified. are you married?”

“oh, yes, i have a lovely wife and two beautiful young children.”

“oh that’s too bad. we’re looking for someone who has no life. thank you.”

as family man walks off, dejected, in comes a completely unsuspicious fellow looking for an honest living honest living, just like in rent the musical.

his arm is acting up, a bit, but it’s fine.

“very impressive resume. princeton, harvard, six years in the industry-- tell me, mr brain, what are your long term career goals?”

“i plan on taking over the world.”

“you have drive! i like that! but confidentially, taking over the world is my job, hahahaha.”

”yes. haha. ha.”

”now. brass tax - are you married?”

“i do have a roommate. but he’s very busy with his own activities.”

HA HA HOO HOO HOO

<muah>

HAHA

“but. one more thing. about your head. isn’t it rather small?”

“no. not for my race.”

“no! no, of course not-- and your people are such... good... cooks... with their tiny heads, uh. please. excuse me for one second.”

“carol! send everyone else home! i got myself a minority person!”

BRUH I?!??!?!?!?!

anyway. brain gets the job.

“mr brain! welcome to the world of re-reinsurance!”

he’s delighted.

back at the labs, he plots his untimely demise at the hands of re-reinsurance,

stating the accident “could be bluffed by altering the mollecular matrix through a substrate platform of microwaves.”

pinky’s response to this is “look brain, i made a choo-choo.”

“oh, and me without my video camera!”

in simpler terms, he explains to pinky that he will stage an accident, “utilising the microwave oven and the non-dairy powdered creamer.”

“because”, to pinky’s apparent horror, “nobody really knows how a microwave works.”

“but why the powdered creamer, brain?”

“nobody knows how that works either.”

(and then, i guess, there’s a scene where some guys jump him on the train for some reason,

i’m only putting it here because this guy is like “oh, you’re funny, you’re a regular gallagher”

and brain’s like “you think gallagher is funny?”

):

anyway then he ties the dude into a pretzel and throws him off the train.

bonk. it adds nothing, but it’s very funny.)

“this is your cubicle right here. if you need any office supplies, ask the office manager and she should have them over in two or three months.”

it’s brain’s first day at work! his boss reads him the company policy on

vacations, personal phone calls,

and sexual harassment.

“don’t worry about it. you’re safe if you avoid all contact with other humans.”

“my goal in life.”

as brain unpacks the things that pinky has packed for his “home away from home,

awwwww.

his nosy cubicle neighbour inquires about brain’s “pet mouse,”

elaborating that he keeps mice! haha! to feed to his pet snake!

to be fair this is also me around snake people. more understandable in brain’s case, being that he is, actually, a mouse, and i am a human person who may be slightly obsessed with tiney small flofys.

;u;

(they play tennis on their lunch break and brain sets him on fire, so it’s not too bad.)

upon his return from the office, pinky, who has dolled himself up to the nines, presents brain with a Yummy Dinner of Food Pellets With Food Pellets.

i will say i think it’s really cute how this show keeps pushing the narrative that pinky just really, really wants to be an old timey housewife. he just spends his time watching i love lucy (when Fish TV isn’t on) and stuff like that and he’s just obsessed with the idea of dusting something alluringly but ineffectively and making brain little dinners.

and it’s so fucking cute!!! what??? it’s adorable. as soon as they get the world pinky better get a little dollhouse kitchen room with lime green everything and a functioning oven.

“please, pinky. i’ve had a very tough day.”

“oh, you have? you’ve had a tough day?”

“what about my day, brain? we always hear about your day, but what about mine?!”

“DO YOU EVER ASK WHAT I DID TODAY???!”

“very well pinky. what did you do today?”

“i don’t remember.”

“anything?”

“not a thing.”

“well, now i know how american gladiator stays on the air.”

the next day, at work, brain is vexed by the fact that nobody has refilled the coffee machine.

“sorry. that’s my fault. hey, you’re cute.”

“you know what they say. big ears. big earmuffs.”

.....okay.

unfortunately brain’s mechanical arm chooses now to malfunction.

she’s into it?

brain maintains that it was a mistake, and he doesn’t find her attractive at all, because brain knows how to talk to women.

she is no longer into it.

horrified by his semi-accidental fuckboy behaviour, brain heads out as quickly as he can, only to be immediately called into his boss’ office.

despite brain’s claims that “the young lady appears to have misunderstood me,” which i’m sure will hold up well on twitter,

mr boss man reveals that he has done some fact checking, and there is no record of brain attending harvard or princeton.

“oh.”

he is given the ultimatum that he either produce his diplomas, or HIS CAREER IN RE-REINSURANCE IS OH OH OVER!!!

very sad!

looks like it’s time to stage a workplace related accident.

he pours the creamer everywhere, discards his suit, and runs up to plonk himself merrily into the pile.

ahem.

HELP, HELP. A TERRIBLE  OCCUPATIONAL DISASTER. I’VE BEEN MAIMED BY AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT REQUIRING MASSIVE WORKERS’ COMPENSATION.

as others in the office crowd around to look, brain makes his dramatic reveal.

“i’ve been turned into a mouse!”

COLLECTIVE GASP.

obviously mr boss man won’t pay that kind of money.

so, as brain emphatically tells him, I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

conclusion:

as the goodfeathers sit on justice’s head, and bitch about jury duty,

The Man From Washinton asserts that brain’s claim that he is a mouse is preposterous.

good thing brain has xrays to prove it! they “clearly” define his “mouse skeleton!” wait a sec and he’ll grab them.

oh shit! where they go?

(”there really is only one conclusion here.” says a local doctor.

“this man is a mouse.”

“then i’m afraid the only conclusion here, doctor,”

“is that you have never seen these.”

“i trust this might keep you quiet.”

“it might.”)

(BRUH/???????????????) (if boss man is out here bribing people with lingerie, he could have tried that way before this got to court.)

egged on by the lack of evidence in Mouse Corner, christopher walken produces the artefacts from brain’s office cubicle.

“i ask you, when was the last time you heard of a mouse winning a bowling trophy?”

“ugh. pinky.”

“yes?”

turns out pinky is here because “they’re not covering this on court tv,” but does advise brain that “it’s a good thing they didn’t find the mechanical suit, eh, brain?”

oh shit.

“pinky, you must go to the office and get that suit from the kitchen closet. do you understand? if they find that we’re sunk.”

“oh! brain! you want me to help!”

off he goes!

fall mouse. bonk.

(he sneaks into the snack delivery.)

(poit.)

(unfortunately, he gets delivered straight to the vending machine.)

(”narf? ):”)

“well. yes. i had noticed his... small, furry head, but i assumed that was normal for his people.”

“and what people would that be.”

“i’m not sure? i think they’re from europe?? maybe france.”

“the size of my head and whether i was a man before the accident is not the question, here. the fact is i am now a mouse.”

(meanwhile, at fiero:

“try the fruit rollups. they’re yummy.”

“oh, i am doing well. poit.”)

“so how exactly did the accident happen, mr brain?”

“some bizarre thing involving a microwave oven? i don’t know exactly-- no one really knows how they work.”

“incorrect! in the oven, a magnetron produces microwaves which cause water molecules to align, and reverse alignment, producing heat, and not mice.”

“the accident also involved a.... nondairy powdered creamer.”

“ah. um. oh.”

(meanwhile,

pinky attempts to drive.)

“mr brain, in your experience with other mice, are they intelligent?”

“no.”

“exactly. your honour, i contend that mr brain is simply too intelligent to be a mouse.”

oh dear.

(meanwhile,

pinky tries not to get hit by a car.)

“but-- no, noo, i’m not intelligent.”

“i am a simpleton! yes. like any average mouse!”

“um. narf.”

that’s mean, brain, considering the aforementioned narf is on his way to save your gay little ass right now, but whatever.

“so you would have no problem with me saying that albert einstien was a champion surfer.”

“what-- i mean, no.”

“or that the temperature of the sun is a comfortable seventy degrees fahrenheight.”

“i wouldn’t know--”

“or that the fermi-dirac’s distribution function is a soup kitchen?”

“that’s preposterous! your honour, the fermi-dirac's function is, for any system of identical fermions in equilibrium,”

“the probability that a quantum state of energy -- E -- is occupied!”

“my word, man! don’t you know your quantum statistics!”

heck.

bonk.

“oh, blunder.”

and what a blunder indeed! the judge decides to rule that brain’s intelligence proves that he is “not a mouse, and that being the basis for your claim, i now dismiss charges against fiero and company.”

“.....very well. i’ll go now.”

“i’m afraid not. i find you guilty of fraud, perjury, and appearing naked in a public place. take him away.”

good thing they have human man sized handcuffs for this human man! brain looks incredibly perturbed, despite the fact he could probably swim in them. and also that he... kind of lives in a prison anyway, if you think about it. oh, cool, can’t wait to evade that cage so i can go live in my other cage.

hm.

luckily, pinky arrives to save us all from that particular moral quandry.

“i got the suit, brain! i got it!”

“pinky--”

the police attempt to intercept pinky,

so he knocks them over. hoo hoo.

brain falls over,

attempts to enter the suit through the shoe,

and is squoshed for his crimes.

faced with a veritable army of police, at this point,

pinky activates the emergency protocol,

says blue lives scatter,

and fucks off out of the courthouse.

we stan a legend.

unfortunately brain got a fair few ouchies during his prison break, so pinky bandages him up. it’s very cute.

anyway, i’m giving this one to brain, on account there were, yknow, a fair few ways that could have been mitigated. fiero fucked him over, though, so i’ll give him that.

brain: 5 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 10

 “egad, brain! brilliant!”

“but isn’t that horribly illegal?”

“............yes.”

[shannonparis29]

Haven't written on here in a while.

Hello everyone, I haven't been writing on my blog in a while but things have changed. I ended up having my own apartment and working for Alorica. But I got to a point where I felt like I was not progressing nor feeling like that was what i needed to do. So, as everyone knows, I want to go to school. However, I don't have a lot of money and it was going to come down between me working a full time job and paying for an apartment or paying for school. Based on my income, I cannot afford both. I decided to quit Alorica and work part time elsewhere. I felt it was best for me and myself. My original plan was to move with my dad soon, but I am trying to obtain rent money so I can stay here. I used my last check (along with my small income tax due to not working very much last year), I used to pay towards school and buy a few things I needed for my new job. This new job is also a call center, but part time and required me to get a chromebook. I sold some of my cosplay stuff to get my laptop. An investment for work as well as school. But just before that decision was made, on February 12, 2021, I injured myself. That was the weekend just before the "Winter Storm 2021" hit all of Texas, including South Texas. We actually got REALLY COLD. Like record-breaking, never happens, ever cold. And trust me, a lot of people were out of power, out of everything. People did what they did when COVID started. People were panic buying everything. It took a good week or two for the stores to finally keep up, even after five days of cold weather. Power was out for many, wifi was out for my apartment for bit-even my phone when out of service for a little bit at some point. If COVID couldn't keep people home, this nasty weather forced everyone to bunker down. We had some snow (very little where I was at) and I tried to take Elsa pictures but they sucked due to it being outside in the dark and no real snow. So, on Feb 12, I had gotten paid and also had to go food shopping, so i had already bought my food for the "month" or sooner. I try to stock up the best i can but I also don't overbuy either. (I still have food now and generally I do have 'more food than I need'" which is good. Rather have more than less, and most meats get frozen anyways. Sometimes I use the crockpot (like tonight with taco meat-ground beef) or i'll bake it. Once in a while, food will get fried up but I normally used the above. Sure, I've got microwavable meals too, but it varies. I try to have quick fixes too when I don't feel like cooking anything. Just something you can pop in the microwave or even the oven-like my chicken tenders. Or maybe a frozen pizza.

So anyhow, I am going to talk about my injured foot. So, when I arrived back home, and was unloading the groceries, I went back to get the last bit of groceries. My apartment/city are going under some construction on our street-it's either for sidewalks (maybe) or to open up the street since our street is narrow. Anyhow, the dirt there was uneven-very uneven-it's not as uneven, but I never thought I'd trip and fall like i did. Next thing, I know, BOOM! I tripped and fell over the curb. I was in a lot of pain when it happened. My intial thought was my ankle because it was the ankle I broke back in middle school. Walking was so much pain. Like majorly painful. I couldn't walk without screaming bloody murder. I told my friends that were visiting-including my drag sister, Jackie and her friend, Isabelle, to grab my office chair. I sat down and tried to elevate my foot the best I could. But at a closer look, it was more my foot and it was swollen. My Mom and Mark thought it was a hairline fracture. I had a long bruise develop on the side of foot and some brusing on the top of my foot and on the edge of my toes. I couldn't bear weight on it without hurting. The first thing I did was call a teledoc, which she advised me to get an xray and get it looked at. I refused to go to the ER for lots of reasons-partly COVID, partly due to it being expensive. I was told to go see a doctor OR visit an urgent care. I found an urgent care in Network (When I had insurance) and they looked at my foot. I did an xray and turns out, it was indeed, fractured. I had fracuted a bone on the side of my foot called the "metetarsal" but it was not the focus of my injury. It was called an avulsion fracture, where a nerve causes a fracture of a small bone on my foot. Crazy, that causes that much pain, right? The Urgent Care staff gave me a boot and crutches-and told me take tylenol plus and sent me on my way. Trust me, that is not pleasant to hear. Then, I found a doctor to do a "follow up" with. And once again, I arrive and they refer me to a orthopedic doctor-which I haven't gotten any calls YET. That doctor all she did was prescribe me ibuprofen 800mg and sent me on my way. My friend TJ says they should've done more-at both places, but it is what it is. I hope this injury isn't something that is going to mess with me forever. I healed fine from my ankle all those years ago. I do try to do things, but I am limited. I can't go anywhere without a car-and sometimes I need help carrying stuff so I can focus on manuerving with my crutches. It sucks, and I still don't know how long i'm going to be recovering. Some say it's 4-6 weeks some say longer, from what I read online. When I broke my ankle, it took me three months to recover. So, until I am cleared by a doctor, I will not perform. Do I want to? Yes! Do I love performing? Yes! But my safety/health comes first. Yes, I still go out and support my organization and go to meetings if needed. That's all I can do, for now. Once I have an update about my injury I will let all of you know. So, there is some big events coming up soon. One of them, is our Prince, Princess and Princex Ball happening the weekend of April 30-May 2nd. So April 30th is the out of town show at the bar. It will feature all the in and out of town prince/princess from all over the International Court System that make it down to our event. It is essentially a mini-coronation. I've been asked to run Friday night, and that seems a lot to ask of me, however, it's an opportunity to prove I'm good enough to be part of this organization. I've had my ups and downs in the court, but I'm still here. So, I have to send out a list closer to day for the finger foods, how I want the lineup once the event gets posted. Also, I'll be doing the lineup. There was talk of having a DJ so one of us won't have to do that. But we shall see. It will depend on what we can get done. I've been asked to be a command for Saturday night and I've got what I'm going to do, hopefully. Once I have the outfits in my hand (don't worry they already paid for months ago)

[falconemuses]

I.....have a problem. And I don’t know what it’s called. Hypochondria or paranoia or anxiety or a combination of all three, probably. Basically, I suspect THINGS have happened to my body, but because I wasn’t allowed to or otherwise was unable to get medical attention at the relevant point in time, and therefore never got a proper diagnosis/treatment, I am completely unsure if the thing I suspect happened actually happened, and if it did what if it healed improperly, but also at this current point in time I’m just super paranoid that if I do go to see a doctor now either a) the injury has healed properly, they can’t detect anything, they roundly curse me for an attention-seeking hypochondriac/drug maniac, b) they DO detect something wrong, and then they go WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU COME WHEN THIS HAPPENED and then it’s going to be so bloody expensive to fix.

Case in point: Sometime in December of last year, I woke up from a crazy dream in which I was trying to escape from a shark with an excruciating pain in my shoulder. As in, I dreamt I was trying to escape from the shark, and then I woke up with my shoulder in pain, not that I - okay there was also pain in the dream, uh - basically, I woke up, it hurt. And when I say excruciating I mean excruciating - people kept telling me like oh maybe you slept on it wrong - NO. I’ve slept on my arm wrong and I know what that pain feels like and that was nothing like it. I couldn’t yawn, I couldn’t breathe properly, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t tie my hair, I couldn’t do anything involving the slightest movement of my shoulder without agonising pain. (Let me tell you, I never wished for universal bidets more than in that week.) I didn’t sleep for 3 nights, I just lay in bed crying and fantasizing about calling an ambulance. “Why the fuck did you not then go to the doctor!?” Okay, so, this started on Saturday morning. Most GPs are not open on the weekends and I was too afraid to go to A&E. I have never been to A&E before and I certainly did not want to appear there with no “injury” I could report, like, “I just. woke up. like this?!?!” Who’s going to believe me!! Anyways by Monday my nerves were frazzled to bits so I finally went to the university clinic. Upon examination the doctor told me: a) “Your shoulder isn’t aligned” WHAT b) “I think we need an XRay” DOUBLE WHAT c) “but our XRay machine is only on Tues-Thurs, come back tomorrow” TRIPLE WHAT!!!! But then I had already booked an aquarium trip with the free vouchers with my friend for Tuesday and a) I do not think you can refund the ticket on cancellation and b) said friend is extremely difficult to get hold of. So I suffered through the aquarium on Tuesday.

By Wednesday I had lost all logic and reason and decided to Take Things Into My Own Hands. Why did I still refuse to go to the doctor - okay first of all I was actually on leave that week and I did not want to spend yet another day of my precious leave at the doctor’s and secondly claiming insurance for XRays was going to be a pain in the ass and thirdly THE WAIT AT THE UNIVERSITY CLINIC IS LIKE 300 YEARS ANYWAY so I just. decided to see if I couldn’t do something about it myself. I felt around and found this uncharacteristic lump in my shoulder (aha) and slammed it into my bedroom wall, as per old-timey movies. There was a blinding flash of pain for an instance but when I finally stopped seeing cartoon stars it was like, oh my god, miracle. The pain was gone. Not totally but pretty much - it was down to a perfectly bearable level and oh my GOD I could MOVE without sending screaming daggers through my shoulder and HOLY SHIT. I felt like Geralt in that one Astolat fic where some witch curses his arm to be unusable until Emhyr fucks him. I did not know, until that moment, how much one’s mood can be improved by not being in pain. Oh my god.

Anyway, the point of that entire story is, a) from what I can glean from the internet, it more or less sounds like my shoulder was dislocated, but b) I did not actually go back to the doctor’s after I “fixed” it (because I didn’t want to spend a day of leave waiting and then have to submit insurance forms and ALSO how weird would it be to go back and be like “hey actually it’s okay now” then they’d be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO), and so c) I did not actually get any medical diagnosis on what was wrong with it, so d) I always feel a bit weird about how exactly I ought to tell this story, like can I say it was dislocated without being “medically sure”? 

[such-a-random-rambler]

Once in a Blue Moon

It was an aligning of the planets when John and Virgil got to work together. That is to say: not as seldom as everybody thought, but not  everyday   either. It just depended how you defined 'together’, for technically John worked every dispatch. They were a great pairing: Virgil’s mechanical skills and John’s electronic ones meant there wasn’t much they couldn’t engineer their way out of. 

  They’d already tackled several problems at the overloading factory: Virgil had used a bit of brute force and the proper application of leverage to open a cooling vent for access, and John had whipped up an antivirus program in his short but brutal plummet to Earth. They security doors had been no match for Virgil’s jaws of life – something that he would have to have a word with the owners about, it shouldn’t be this easy – and they made swift progress to the control room.  

 That’s where it all went wrong.  

 “You uploaded you’re cure yet?” asked Virgil, raising an arm to shield his face from the sparking controls. It was      not good    when a display panel did that; it meant things were getting way out of hand, as if the warning lights didn’t already make that clear. Virgil had really grown to hate flashing red lights.  

 “It’s not a cure,” John said with a very clearly heard verbal eyeroll, “and you know that so are just saying it to wind me up.” Virgil did know that. There was some sort of malevolent trojan horse virus in the system that John was going to contain and eradicate, but surely ‘cure’ was an acceptable shortcut. John was hunched over, giving the terminal he was working at an intent frown. Virgil didn’t like that frown. It was a ‘something’s gone wrong’ type of frown.  

 “Problem?”  

 John pushed himself to his feet with a sigh of frustration. “Sort of. My  programme   is uploaded and is working it’s way through the system architecture and once it’s done facility operation will return to normal.”  

 “I sense a ‘but’ looming in my future.”  

“But..... to complete that we will need to do a full system restart.”

 “Off and on again.”  

 John nodded and Virgil felt his stomach sink. This was a manufacturing plant for high value, high strength biodegradable plastics which were in very high demand in a number of secondary industries. The process to create a reliable and durable product was complicated and long and relied upon down to the second timing in some stages, otherwise whole batches could be lost. These places were designed to resist total system shut down as that would the cost the company millions in clean up on  it’s   own, let alone lost contracts and waste. This was a true  twenty four   seven operation with  back ups   and contingencies to keep it running at all times.  

 Of course   some of those would be off line at the moment as a result of the virus that was screwing up the temperature controls on the main furnace, threatening to send it’s unstable contents into a spontaneous combustion that would flatten half for the surrounding city.  But not all of them.  

 “Is that even possible?” Virgil asked.  

 “Yes, if I had three quarters of an hour and a bit of  luck   I might be able to trick the remaining safe guards that the others were still in place, get them to shut down in a controlled cascade.” John said grimly.  

 Virgil gave a quick glance at the readouts – needles quivering at their max, bar charts at their limits and those damned red lights suggested that wasn’t an option. “We don’t have that long,” Virgil said “We have about ten minutes before it goes critical. What are our other options?” There were always other options. International Rescue didn’t give up.  

 “There might be another way” John said with a strange hesitation. “But it’s a bit more …. errr …. rough and ready, shall we say. You’re not going to like it.”  

 “If that’s what we’ve got,  lets   get on with it!” Virgil knew they had no time to waste.  

 John pointed him to one of the panels on the far side of the room. “I need you to take out all of the capacitors on that board, one at a time, from left to right. And I need to borrow a wrench.”  

 Virgil fished out his second  favourite   wrench and handed it over, turning smartly on his heel to set about his task. John pressed a few buttons on the main console before popping open another section of the room’s wall. Virgil clicked open his own, now as far away from John as he could be in the small space, and stared in puzzlement for a second. He wasn’t the computer genius that his brother was, but he knew what a capacitor looked like and whatever was running through this wall didn’t have any. It wasn’t like John to make such a mistake even under this much pressure. He turned to double check when a lot of things happened at once.  

 He saw John reaching into the guts of the wall and hitting something really hard with the wrench.  What followed was the predictable blinding flash of an overload due to damage and contact with metal, the snap of discharging electricity like static from a balloon but a  thousand fold  . The lights went out, there was a dull ‘thumb’ of a large weight on a hard surface and a clang as the wrench fell to the floor.    

 Virgil stood, stiff and dumbfounded. His eyes, still troubled by the flash were struggling to  accustomise   themselves to the pitch dark. Spots were floating across his vision and the hair on the back of his neck stood up in a sixth-sense sort of alarm.  

 “John?” He whispered “What the actual hell.”  

He turned on his trusty shoulder flashlight and swept it around the room. The place where John had been standing was filled with smoke which smelt cloying and metallic as it drifted through the room.  Another sweep found what he was looking for – crumbled against the wall just a few paces away was his stupid stupid stupid brother.  

 “God damn it John!” Virgil said as he knelt at his side. Through the thin beam of light Virgil could see the slight fuzz to his hair and scorch marks on his suit that spoke of a large electrical discharge.   Virgil pushed a furious two fingers to the pulse point just under the jaw and offered a silent prayer of thanks to anything in a position to hear when he felt the heartbeat  - fast, uneven, but there.  

 “John, John!” Virgil shook his shoulder.  

 “No need to shout.” John replied, voice much softer than his usual commanding tones.  

 “  Oh   there is plenty of reason to shout. Being as I think you just stuck your hand into the primary back up power system to overload it and shut the factory down. That's what you did, right?”  

 “Basically.” Virgil focused the light on John’s face to see it pinched, pale and squinting. He tried to bring up the suit’s biometrics but it wasn’t fully responsive, and it took a lot to damage Brains’ tech. “How long has everything been off?”  

 “Under a minute. You and I are going to have a conversation about ‘rough and ready’ and hitting complex electric systems with god damn metal rods and getting yourself god damn electrocuted.”  

 “I’m fine.” John protested.  

 “Really? Because I think you just got thrown across the room into a concrete wall. I also think you just got hit with about a billion volts of electricity. Now I’m not sure one of those made you lose consciousness, but I know which one is making your heartrate too fast. I’m also worried that I can feel occasional irregular heartbeats and I so don’t want to have to put a de-fib on you because I have no idea what sort of internal injuries you have right now.” Virgil was trying not to let his anger out and to stay professional but John sure did deserve it. Hitting it with a bloody wrench!  

 “If you’re finished, want to help me get up so we can get this place back up and running and go home?” John said, making no move to get up himself.  

 “That depends, do you think you’ve got any internal bleeding?” Virgil made a couple of physical checks that John bore with bad grace - unfortunately they were all familiar with the feeling of internal bleeding.  

 John gave a grimace and a shake of his head “Nah, only bruised.”  

 Virgil gave a put-upon sigh and man-handled John to his feet, taking most of his weight with an arm slung over his shoulder and Virgil holding John tightly to his hip. The quicker they did this, the quicker he could get John back for a CAT scan and an  xray   and an ECG.  

 They staggered to the main terminal where John flicked a few switches and pumped a breaker – with a whine and a whir something started up: lights and screens flickered on all around them, straining his eyes yet again.  

 “Please don’t do anything like that again.” Virgil pleaded as they waited for the main frame to reboot, “It was really stupid and you could have at least given me warning.”  

 “You would have tried to stop me.” John said, leaning his head against Virgil and closing his eye for just a second. “I didn’t want to do it, but -  “ he   paused for a few moments as he studied the booting sequence and obviously happy with what he saw there - “Mission accomplished, city saved.”  

 “Yeah, too right I would have tried to stop you almost killing yourself.” Virgil said, turning them slowly and starting to make their way back to his Thunderbird. Luckily they landed  just outside the door so he wouldn’t have to carry John too far – he was heavier than he looked. “As it is, you might have wished you had when Scott gets hold of you.”  

 John groaned, long and drawn out. After a side-eyed glance at his  brother  -    pale, in obvious pain and listing to one side even with his support  - Virgil wasn’t convinced that noise could all be attributed to the thought of the dressing down he was going to get as soon as he was well enough to stand it.  

 “Do you think we could just not tell him?”  

 “Not a chance.”  

 “He’s not going to understand.”  

 “Oh we understand- ” Virgil said, wanting to  emphasise   that Scott wouldn’t be the only one to have a problem with John’s antics, even as he was pushing his brother into one of Two’s med beds. “-considering the number of lives at risk. But making a decision like that without having a conversation with the rest of us – it's just not on. How would you feel if we did it while you were up on  Five.  ”  

 John was clenching his jaw as Virgil raised the bed so he was leaning back instead of  laying   flat, but whether from a hidden injury or the memory of all the times John had watched them run head first into trouble without being able to do anything about it was impossible to say.  

 Suppressing a groan of his own Virgil headed to the cockpit for  take off   protocols. If everyone was being their usual selves Scott would be blazingly angry by the time they got back to the island and John would retreat into intractable silence and somehow it would all be Virgil’s fault.  

 Virgil was almost glad he worked with his brother just once in a blue moon.  

also on https://archiveofourown.org/works/23156785

or

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13522767/1/Once-in-a-Blue-Moon

[minotaurman-ayjay]

Do not drink and drive

This post details the car accident that I survived.

It will be about how the accident occurred.

What happened to me (Injuries, Court).

What happened to the drunk driver (Prosecution)

and where I am, now.

TW: graphic details of car accident trauma, pictures of x-rays (when I get them). Details of out-of-body experience, and potential glimpse on the afterlife.

In 2015, I had just bought a brand new car, a black and gunmetal grey Volkswagen CC. I loved that car, and I was going to treat it like it was my baby. I bought the big, thick manual that details every part of the car so I can fix it myself if I ever need to.

I didn’t even have the car for more than 3 months.

I was at an intersection, about to go north (one way) on an entrance ramp to the highway. I saw these headlights coming toward me. I didn’t think anything of it at first until I remembered “Wait a minute, this is one way.” Before I could finish that thought, he had collided head-on with me. “Why didn’t you react earlier? You knew you were on a one-way street.” Let me tell you, even though you *know* you’re on a one-way street, to see headlights coming at you is confusing. It’s disorienting, and usually it’s way too late when you remember that YOU’RE the one going the right way, and this motherfucker is about to hit you.

He was in a huge pickup truck called a “dually”, it’s a pickup truck that has a set of two wheels in the back and has a hell of a lot of horsepower.

When he collided with me, his truck went over my car, nearly crushing me in the process. One of his tires was about 3 inches away from my face.

I was pinned under the dashboard, I had lost consciousness. I vaguely remember someone holding my hand and saying “It’s going to be okay. Just stay with me.“  I had an out-of-body experience, I saw myself getting extracted out of the car. I was pretty beat up, my face was scuffed up and bloody from the scrapes of the airbag hitting me. When I was pulled out of the car, my limbs were listless like noodles. I remember seeing my legs… My feet, in particular. Both of my ankles were dislocated, and my hip was dislocated and it looked like it was nearly coming out of my skin.

This is where my out-of-body experience ends. I briefly regained consciousness in the ambulance, I don’t remember if I had an exchange with the EMTs or anything like that, because soon I had fallen asleep again.

Then I remember waking up at this house that I had never seen before. There were people everywhere, music being blared, it looked like a party. I approached the door and my friend Evan, who had died several years before in an accident where he was killed by drunk driving, was at the door with is arms crossed.

I’ll never forget this shocked expression on his face as he asked me "What the hell are you doing here?” and I was like “What are you talking about? You invited me.” He scoffed “Like hell I did, man. Go back home. You’re not supposed to be here.” I thought he was just being an asshole, and we were always confrontational with each other… But it’s all in jest. I posted up to him and said “Fuckin make me, man.”, and then he shoved me.

The shove was so realistic, so jarring, so violent that I had fallen backwards— and then I woke up in the hospital, and according to my mother I was on my way to Radiology to get xrays when I came to. I don’t know if I caught a glimpse of some afterlife, or if I was dreaming, but it was very real. My mom knows that I almost died, and watched me fight for my life.

Anyway, they had to restrain me because the drugs that they had given me made me combative. I was taken to the hospital where my mom works, as it was the closest hospital to the accident scene. She was also on duty that day, and for her to see me like that *had* to have been traumatizing to her.

Apparently I continued to go in and out of consciousness, and when I finally came to for good, I was in the ICU.

The moment I woke up, I felt this whole body pain, like an elephant was sitting on me. Not just my chest, but my whole body felt crushed under this gigantic weight. It was so much pain that it literally felt like weight, like I had woken up on a different planet and the gravity was crushing me. I begged and begged and begged for pain relief, I couldn’t breathe. My mom put the morphine control in my hand and told me to press it. I clicked that thing probably 4 or 5 times. It probably only worked once, but by then I didn’t care. I was so divided from the pain that it didn’t matter anymore.

My mom told me what happened, and what my damage was.

1) I had brain damage and a severe concussion. I was monitored in the ICU for 3 days to make sure I didn’t have a brain bleed they couldn’t detect.  (I can’t remember the details of the brain damage). I had to relearn words, I had to relearn how to talk without stuttering or forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence, or having a word just disappear on me. This still happens from time to time.

2) My sternum had been displaced. Meaning it was fractured and pushed inward. Had my sternum been pushed in any further, I would have died. To this day, I still live with this. Because of this I cannot bind. I still cannot afford the surgery necessary to reposition my sternum.

3) My hip was so severely dislocated that it broke the acetabulum. This is the socket that cradles the ball joint in your hip. I still live with hip complications to this day. Because of this dislocation and the missing piece of acetabulum, I have degenerative osteoarthritis in my hip. I am a fall risk without a cane. I need a hip replacement, but surprise, I cannot afford the surgery.

4) Both of my ankles were dislocated and had bilatural fractures… Which means I had fractures on both sides of both ankles. One of the ankle bones was crushed beyond repair. I needed rods, plates, screws, and a bone graph. I still live with ankle complications to this day. Because of the surgeries and extensive injuries, I have degenerative osteoarthritis in my ankles. If I am to be on my feet or walking for more than an hour, I need to wear boots that are high topped to support my ankles. The drunk driver’s insurance was able to cover these surgery… However, as it became apparent over the years that I needed more surgeries and had more complications because of the MVA, it turned out that the drunk driver had changed auto insurance companies. Since America is the Greatest Country In The World™, health insurance providers DO NOT COVER INJURIES THAT ARE A RESULT FROM CAR ACCIDENTS. You have to go through the at-fault party’s Auto Insurance to get your bills paid. However, SOME health insurance companies WILL temporarily cover what is needed and will go after the at-fault party’s health insurance on your behalf.

But since this fucking shit smear changed insurance companies, I am absolutely fucked, and I can’t track him down to sue him.

5) I have damage to my eardrum. Luckily, it was not punctured by the force of the airbag hitting the right side of my face.

6) I have nerve damage in my knee (somehow? I don’t understand it, either) I can’t kneel on it. I either feel nothing (like the body part isn’t mine or something?) or excruciating pain when I try. There is no in between. Sometimes the nerve damage *itches like fuck*, but I cannot scratch it, as I will either feel nothing, or it will hurt.

7) I have nerve damage on the tops of my feet. I do not like it when my feet are touched. It causes electric shock feelings that travel to my ankle. It’s not pretty.

8) I have nerve damage in my face. I have Trigeminal Neuralgia that is secondary to trauma. Look at my “bloggy” tag to learn more about this.

9) I now have fibromyalgia. When it’s cold, or rainy, or if I’ve pushed myself too much, I will wake up the next morning feeling like I just came to in the ICU. Where I feel this full body pain that’s like an excruciating weight. Luckily, marijuana helps me with fibromyalgia and trigeminal neuralgia flare ups. I take a 2,000mg of gabapentin (spaced throughout the day) and 200mg of seroquil to manage them.

10) I have PTSD that is triggered by the smell of hot metal, the sound of circular saws, and by car accident scenes in movies. It took me forever to get over being gunshy in an intersection, and to even drive at all.

I was bedbound for 2 months, and wheelchair bound for 8 months. I was taking physical therapy and speech therapy for a year before my restitution to cover it had run out.

Needless to say, my quality of life had taken a drastic decline, compared to me pre-accident. Before the accident, I was in shape again. I was gaining muscle and I was close to meeting what I call my “healthy dad-bod” goals. I was going to go to police academy that year, but that was because I wanted to be an investigator for the Crimes Against Children Unit. I’ve had to reshape my future entirely. At the end of it all, my bills were $110,000. Luckily, I only had to pay $10,000 out of pocket, and that’s *LUCKILY*

So, what happened to the drunk driver?

The trial did not last long, he has been given 10 years probation (and straight to prison if he violates), mandatory rehabilitation, and to pay me restitution. Which had recently run out. I don’t know what has become of him, because as I said, I cannot track him down to sue him for my ongoing injuries.

If you are EVER considering driving while drunk, don’t fucking do it. Do not think you are invincible. Do not think it’s not going to happen to you. Do not think you’re not going to hurt someone. I don’t care if you are a “functioning alcoholic” or a “seasoned drinking veteran”, you WILL fuck up. This man that had hit me was 63 years old, and has probably been driving drunk for who knows how long. And once you DO fuck up, you are going to kill somebody. IF they DO manage to live through YOUR mistake, their life is changed *forever* and their quality of life will NEVER be the same again.

You are garbage the moment you sit in the driver’s side with booze in your blood.

[crystalinn]

I haven’t posted about this here yet, but boy howdy has my life been A Mess™️ of late.

TW: medical talk, high stress situations, mentions of blood under the cut

This is a very long post, so a mild TL;DR: ma’s sick and this is me for eternity now (loud noises in video): 

Picture it. November 10th (ish. Time is hard.). The motherbeast came down with a case of viral bronchitis. She got a few days off work to recover. 

A couple days pass. She went back to work. Her manager sent her in the cooler for two hours. 

An immediate downturn ft. a fall out of bed that took 45 minutes to fix, heavy panting, confusion, the whole lot. She went to the Express ER. They said “oh hey, your viral bronchitis has become full blown pneumonia. You’re goin’ to the Real Hospital™️ for two days. See if you respond well.” Turns out, she did, at first. 

About a week or two of what seemed like solid improvement all came crashing back down when her return to work arrived. She went back to work... or tried to. She went to step onto the curb and gravity said no. She faceplanted the pavement, and the ambulance was called. A thorough concussion check later, and her manager drove her and her truck home. The next day, she went back to the Express ER, and they said “oh shit, your lung xray is worse than last time. Back to the Hospital for you.” 

That stay was nine days long. She was tested for tuberculosis (which came back negative, thankfully), and had a PICC line installed. During said stay, she did get rather confused and agitated, as it was near the end of the month and the rent needed paid. She called me in the middle of the night, asking me to move her IV... despite me being at home. So that was a thing.

After she came home on the 4th of this month (December), I had to start administering her PICC line antibiotics, every 8 hours. Did y’all know that cefepime (a bigboi antibiotic) smells like someone doing unholy things to eggs? Sulfuric smelling bullshit, that. Had some hiccups there, what with massive air bubbles in the line and getting the infusion orb stuck on the line. We were supposed to be done the 25th. Then she went to her new primary care doctor, and it was extended to the 6th of January, which h.

Anyway, fast forward to the 23rd. Mum was out with a pal, getting some groceries, and some Miralax ‘cause... y’know, and she fell on her ass. At this point, falling down is like a glowing neon red flag. She came home, was a bit wobbly, but was generally okay. Her primary care doctor called after the home health nurses stole some blood to tell her that her potassium levels are critical. A friend/my ‘adopted’ brotherbeast, Frank, brought her a fuckton of bananas that night. 

Now this is where it gets real fuckin’ spicy. The morning of the 24th, after we get done with the 7am orb, I gave her a dose of Miralax. She was fine, until the 3pm orb, when severe gut cramps showed up. Those lasted until about midnight when things... moved along. After that, shit went downhill fast. I put her to bed after orb times at 11 pm, and she kept waking up. As time went on, she got more and more confused. Like, she knew general things, in a kinda slow way, but she could not follow directions. On the morning of the 25th (fucking Christmas.), things had reached its boiling point. She was very confused, unable to focus, slurring words. I rang up a friend, Sandy (who has been a massive help this whole time of Fuckery), to get her to the ER. This triggered a complete meltdown. It took both of us to get her out of her chair, not to mention the sudden burst of confused crying and begging not to go. 

We finally managed to get her there, and the ER’s like “yo this looks like a stroke, so we’re gonna keep her, do an MRI or three, and get back to you.” Turns out she was very dehydrated, currently has a UTI, and is still a bit... shall we say, fucked up. But, the MRI came out clean, but there was some issue with the PICC with like, a blood clot, but they cleaned it out, so they let her go on the 26th. 

But just wait for it... I put her to bed pretty much as soon as she got home, ‘cause she doesn’t sleep in the hospital. Makes sense, right? I went to check on her at about 8, and she was unable to really comply with requests/commands/questions. I’d ask “what’s your name?”, I’d get her name (most of the time), but when I’d ask “when’s your birthday?”, I’d get her name again. Or the fact she lost her PICC line cap, and I’d ask her to hold the newly sterilized port so it wouldn’t touch anything, she’d say okay, take it, and immediately drop it. Repeatedly. 

I broke down whilst on the phone with my dad because everything has been too much of late, and eventually put her back to bed to wait for the 11pm orb. 

11pm rolled around... and well. I couldn’t get her to wake up. She’d react to me poking and prodding her by making noise and moving away, but she would not wake up. Not properly. So, I called the on call home health nurse to see if she could help, and she pretty much told me to just call an ambulance. Not wanting the expense because I live in Hell the US, I called my dad. He helped me try to wake her up over the phone, but she flat refused. I was left with no choice. So, I called the ambulance, and just before they knocked on the door, she sat up like “huh?” but extra confused. She almost didn’t go to the hospital because she said “nah, I don’t want to go” but one of the EMTs was like “nah, you gotta go.”

So, she spent about 8 hours in the ER, and they told me that they can’t keep her since she was mostly lucid, but they did float an Idea (a skilled nursing facility, at least until she got her ducks in a row) to her that was immediately denied, but with some prodding from me, she finally agreed. So they moved her upstairs from the ER to keep her until they can find a facility in the Blue Cross/Blue Shield network that’s reasonably local. The one that came to visit yesterday turned out to not be, and I’m pretty sure the dude kicked it back to the Case Supervisor to see if they can find another. But, after they moved her into her room, she’s cleared up quite a bit. 

She’s still a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, a bit unfocused, and can get caught out in the grapes mentally, but she has improved a lot. 

Oh, and another thing she’s been doing is fighting me re: eating since the first go around. Bread’s a texture issue, rice is hard to eat without teeth, and everything else “smells bad” (which, since she’s quit smoking as of that second hospital stay... I understand, but you gotta sometimes push past that.) I did manage bananas though. Thank fuck for those. 

But, back to the plot: today (the 28th) was a decent day. Much clearer, less starts and stops in her speech. A bit more focused. She didn’t manage to sleep last night, so she was kinda tired. Had another MRI, but we won’t know about that until probably tomorrow (the 29th). Maybe. Had some PICC issues, though. The nurse got the cefepime running just fine, then mum had to use the bathroom, and when she came out, the machine started screaming bloody murder. After that, the nurse came back and tried to flush the line, since the cefepime was unable to run, and when she took the syringe off, the saline shot right back out... which ain’t supposed to happen. Hit me, the nurse, mum, the bed... probably got the windows too. So they’re working on that, and hopefully they figure it out.

Had my own woes at the hospital today, too. The sole of my boot fell off, so my ride/friend/adopted sister?, Sandy, went to walmart and got me some Heavy Duty Superglue, which I got it about half way stuck before we had to leave... then when we were pulling into the parking lot at home, the nurse in charge called to ask some questions about the PICC, the antibiotic, how long it’d been there, how long she was supposed to be on it, the pharmacy’s number, all that. So I went to get out of the car, my coke bottle fell out of my pocket, started rolling under the car, and I overextended. Fell right on my knees. They are not happy. Took a hot minute to get my dumb ass off the ground, without hurting Sandy, who is like 5′2″ and v smol. I am 5′6″ and... decidedly not. Plus the bonus rain.

UPDATE 12/29/2019: the diverticulitis has made a reappearance. It’s like everything is just It’s free real estate.

UPDATE 12/31/2019: Around 2 am this morning, she managed to roll out of bed and whack her head pretty good on something. They did a CT scan, and it came out clean. No concussion. However, now she has a sitter/keeper/minder to make sure she doesn’t do it again. It’s a good thing the nurses heard her fall, ‘cause despite being armed, the bed alarm didn’t go off. I know of all of this, ‘cause the hospital called me at 3 this morning, and boy howdy that’s a gut drop, let me tell you. But, better a CT ride and a bump on her noggin vs. the alternative. Sure is one thing after a-fucking-nother, ain’t it though.

UPDATE 1/1/2020: 2019 keep your problems challenge: she's had a major mental shift again, and now she's really groggy, really confused... So the hospital moved her to the ICU and called me for consent on a spinal tap, just to make sure they're not missing anything. Other than that, they've done x-rays and another CT, I think to check her spine, hips, the one leg she's been having issues with. The doctors also think that it may be the cefepime causing this altered mental state, and after doing some digging, boy howdy I sure believe it. Cephalosporins are some nasty fuckers.

So! That’s been my month and a half! I’d like to take a break now, please!

EDIT: Further updates found here.

[fox-mulders-ties]

In a bizarre suicide attempt, some guy in a military psych hospital takes advantage of a little tub which boils water faster than a nuclear reaction would (and should never have passed OH&S standards) by channeling his inner lobster.  Apparently this isn’t a normal thing to do and Mulder and Scully arrive to investigate.  Mulder has his Drycleaner’s Delight tie on and Scully makes sure he’s wearing his Visitor badge because it’s a lot of work getting him released from psychiatric facilities each time he loses it.  

Mulder and Scully exchange little notes as they talk to lobster man in another very hazy room before they’re called out to the hallway to talk with a uniformed Captain woman and Mulder demonstrates his variety of you-can’t-be-serious faces.  In fact Mulder’s face is unnaturally expressive in this episode.  He gets turned on when Scully speaks Military and happily watches her get bossy with the military types.

They go see the General and he accuses them of gross misconduct.  Mulder is amused by the General’s idea of what gross misconduct is and he’s soooooooo tempted to show the General just how gross his misconduct can get.  They both get a bit tetchy with the General and his lack of information sharing before having a staring match and leaving.

They go to see the lobster bath for themselves.  If that thing’s supposed to be a hydrotherapy bath of some sort, it’s the worst designed hydrotherapy bath in existence.  To be physically capable of getting in or out of it you’d have to be in good physical condition. Then it would also restrict movement, kind of making hydrotherapy impossible.  And you’d think it would have some kind of temperature cut off so as not to accidentally cook people.    

The General orders the Captain to go home and relax but instead she goes for a swim and is drowned by a shadow. Scully’s even more pissed at the General.  Mulder joins them in his Irresistible tie, which has a weird kink in it, much like Mulder himself, and it makes you forget about the General and the drowning as you wonder how on earth that kink got there. Is the tie so irresistible that Mulder or Scully couldn’t resist sucking on it?  Or did it get caught in the door in a session of autoerotic asphyxiation?  After the general admits he saw something and he got spooky answering machine messages they go to his house, where a kid already got freaked out about someone in the house.  Mulder ironed the kink out of his tie on the way so we could stop obsessing over it. They listen to the answering machine and look at he sandpit.  While Mulder’s back playing with the answering machine, Scully fetches him and they bust into someone’s house and arrest him.  Somewhere after this the little General’s kid is killed in the sand pit, but my mind’s drifted back to Mulder and his tie so it’s a bit unclear when that happened.

Mulder and Scully interview the arrestee  who blames some amputee dude in the hospital, but one look at the quadruple amputee and they assume he couldn’t have done anything.  Back at the interview room, the arrestee gets killed.  Scully finds him dead, then Mulder pulls out some little dental xray films he happens to carry around to somehow prove that amputee guy is astral travelling.  They close talk about it a bit and he presents the backwards answering machine messages as further evidence.  They visit amputee man and Mulder gets up close.  He’s so irresistible that the guy will confess anything just to keep him on his bed, despite his not getting the porn nurses and Scully-Fu demonstration that his agent told him were mandatory in amputee scenes.

Amputee man leaves bloody footprints on the general’s carpet before killing his wife.   He won’t pick up the phone so they rush to his house.  General takes a gun and tries to shoot himself but the amputee’s astral body won’t let him.  This makes him mad so he goes to the hospital and shoots the wall above the amputee guy instead. M&S go to amputee guy and he’s blinking so Mulder runs.  The General gets subjected to over enthusiastic steam and atmosphere until lobster man sneaks in and uses a pillow to suffocate amputee man until it stops.

As Mulder voices-over his report at the end, we get a slightly better glimpse of the Cosmic G-Spot tie and rejoice in the fact that we have Mulder and Scully to get us through episodes like this. Close talking in hallways is an essential ingredient in the X-Files that I really hope is embraced again in Season 11.

[spookyenemyperson-blog]

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

"Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

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Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

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Heard an ad for a life insurance policy never heard before. It said if you do not die in a time frame not known, than your will get your money back. Is this the same as all policies that build a cash value simply worded differently or is there a new product on the market? If you care to speculate, then might health care insurance reform lead to such a policy being offered. Death is a bit more certain than needing health care.""

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Health insurance in the United States?

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Life insurance?

has anyone every heard of national benefit life insurance company of ny ny? i got this letter from them in the mail and im a bit scheptical of it... lemme know so i dont pour all this money into it and end up with nothing kthanks xoxo

Where can I get a free auto insurance quote?

I would like to know of a website that offers a free auto insurance quote?

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I need to get new car insurance but im not sure where to go. My insurance is about to expire and i don't want to stay with them because its at about $230 a month.((WHICH IS MORE ...show more

How much would car insurance be for a Dodge Charger?

If I had a 3.0 average and no accidents,tickets, or other outstanding finds and i was only sixteen, how much Would the insurance be?""

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

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im 18 i just bought my car and now i need insurance what is the cheapest insurance out there for a guy of my age?

Medical Cancer insurance?

my brother had cancer in the past. can he be covered by anyone now?? If he can what medical insurance?

Good car insurance deals?

can someone please tell me where i can get the best car insurance deals?? Thanks

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4 a 17 year old

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Does mods affect car insurance?

Hey guys I have a honda civic 2000 and i was going to to add some mods such as an intake and a BOV as well as body kit and other engine modifications. I was just wondering what would happen if i didn't tell my car insurance provider about these what would happen?

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So my car was parked in-front of a SUV Lexus in a parking lot. Then, i left my friend's house and started to drive. I stepped on the gas pedal to drive forward but i forgot that the car was still in Reverse mode. So i hit the Lexus car which was behind my car and luckily no one was in that car. There is damage on that car's left side headlight and left-side of the bumper. I wonder how many points will my insurance raise ? i just got the license like a few months ago and this is my fist accident. The SUV Lexus car's parts and labor fee is really expensive so i might don't have enough cash to pay them thou. (estimate $3000-$5000)""

How much would it be to insure a 17 year old on a Nissan Navara Pick Up Truck?

'JUST OUT OF INTEREST' I have always wanted a Nissan Navara Pick up truck and i turn 17 in october, its unlikely i will be driving till next year! i was just wondering an insurance estimate on, say, an 08 plate? Im not fussed weather it is 'expensive' i know it wont be cheap and the companies are unlikely to insure me on them but i was just wondering about a price. Its hard for me to go on insurance websites as i do not have a license and know any information. I have herd they are in Group 11 insurance.. Also are they classed as a Van/Car/ Etc? Would just like an average quote please! don't want answers with 'depends on this, this or this'.. Thanks very much!""

Should I keep my insurance while lending my car?

I will be out of the country for 6 months and would like my friend to borrow my car. She is a licensed driver and stay at home mom. I called my insurance company and they said adding her to my policy would be no extra cost to me. However she told me that since she and her husband already own a car, it would just cost $20 for them to add the car to their insurance policy and I could just cancel my policy while I am out of country. But she is not on the title. So is she right? What should I do? Thanks!""

Average cost for motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

i know that the rates will be very expensive for a street bike for a 16 year old first rider, but i just want a round about. i have car insurance with state farm so thats who i would get the insurance through. from what i found it will probably be better to start on a dual sport bike rather than a sport bike due to the cost of insurance and the possibility of not being able to get insured due to my age. i want to get a street bike, but i know insurance would be nearly affordable.""

Do U think it's fair women's insurance is cheaper because they have an 'innie' and men have an 'outie'?

I see just as many women being careless drivers as men. Why should their sex organs have anything to do with car insurance?

""If I report a cracked windshield and make a claim for a replacement, will my insurance rate go up?""

I'd like to get the windshield fixed, but I'm concerned the amount I save by having the insurance company pay for it will be less than the extra amount I might end up paying in increased fees. Should I just pay to replace it myself, avoid reporting it and not risk increased insurance payments?""

Affordable Health Insurance for a single mom?

Can anyone provide me with some information about getting an affordable health insurance plan for a single mother with a small child (2 and a half y.o.)? My wife and I are getting divorced. It is an uncontested divorce and we just need to figure out the support payment amount. This is the last variable. Also is there any way to keep them both under my plan at work after we are divorced? Any help is greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!

Average cost of dune buggy insurance- just answer... I don't want websites to go to?

Average cost of dune buggy insurance- just answer... I don't want websites to go to?

Where do i get health insurance in texas. im 18?

18 year old male. Parents dropped me. Sad day:(. Haha so where would I find cheap good health insurance :)

Classic Car Insurance for Young Drivers?

Always been a fan of Old Minis. Always been in the family. Uncle has had various Mini projects. I've read so many different things about classic car insurance. I'm 17 Years old, recently passed. I've heard that you get get classic car insurance at this age for close to and under 1000. I may not be driving until i turn 18. Won't be driving much. Odd weekend's and to Sixth form a few late days when i can't get a lift off my parent. My Sixth form has it's own car park and the car will be parked on the drive. Just wondering how true the claims are of the cars being cheaper to insure. If so which companies should i go about contacting, and is it best via website or phoning them. Also i would be looking at any Mini, would prefer a 1275 GT. However realise this would cost more. Not bothered about having a Mini 850 or a normal Mini 1000, as i know the Special Eds will cost more.""

I'm thinking about changing car insurance. Does Geico provide good customer service?

Their quote to me was amazingly cheap and that makes me a little nervous. You get what you pay for is what I have always heard. Anyone had their insurance through Geico? Good or bad experiences, please.""

Question about State Health Insurance and marriage in Connecticut?

I am 20 years old and 10 weeks pregnant with my fiance's child. The only reason we didn't get married a while ago is because of health insurance. He's covered on his father's plan until he's 26 IF he doesn't marry. Well, now that I'm pregnant, I was told if we aren't married, the state will come after him for child support- not to mention that I want to marry him, anyway. We've been engaged for a year and a half. I have state insurance, and everything with the pregnancy is covered, but what happens if we get married? He'll lose his insurance. Is there a state insurance plan for the entire family in CT? A plan that he can be covered on once we are married?""

Car insurance price comparison?

I'm 17 and possibly getting my own car, but my parents are concerned about the price difference between getting added on as a driver to one of their cars and being a sole driver on my own. We use geico, and i would be getting a used 1998 honda civic. message me if more information will help""

Does your insurance go up if you get a speeding ticket?

Im 18 but my car and insurance is still under my mom. I dont want her to find out... but will she? Lol. Is there anthing I can do so she wont find out?!? :))

Named driver car insurance?

How much would it be for a 20 year old, 2 years passed, to be a named driver on a picanto 1 litre, with hastings direct, thanks""

Insurance help!!!!???

hi i'm an 18 yo living by myself in seattle, wa, just wondering how much insurance do i have to pay, because i'm interested in a 1986 lincoln town car., i live in downtown, and i know prices are higher if you are in the city, i only want to have a car to drive it on weekends an whenever buses are not available. so if you can give me an idea gow much is it, i'll be greatful with your help. thanks bye xoxo""

How to find how much my car is worth for insurance purposes?

I was involved in a car crash, legally not my fault - but is still going to come off my insurance. The car is written off and I'd like to know what to expect the insurance company to offer me - and perhaps argue that the car is worth more if I can. Car was a Seat Ibiza 1.4S, Reg no. Y828 TGC. About 128,000 on the clock. In good working order. Five previous owners, part history for three of them. No visible rust. Small dent rear bumper. M.O.T. good for another 4 months. Have already tried a few online valuations, they vary so much I'm not sure they're much good to me.""

Car insurance help for a young driver?

I'm looking to buy this 2002(51 reg) 1.6L Volkswagen Beetle Hatchback. I'm a new driver and have looked everywhere for a cheap insurance quote. I'm just wondering whether the insurance will go down by much after my first year driving? thankyouuuuu x

Will a claim for a broken passenger side window increase my car insurance premium?

A rock thrown from a lawn mower shattered the side window in my car yesterday. Will my car insurance premium rates go up if I file a claim?

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

Richmond Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23237

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