#this is one of the things that makes my anxiety go through the roof tbh

[fridgrave2-0]

I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay with ford being an absolute asshole towards fiddleford and basically abusing him.

first of all, yes, it's not ford's fault that he was manipulated (doubtful tbh) and abused by bill, but that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk who closes his eyes on his friend's deepest traumas. the traumas fiddleford got only because stanford completely ignored his warning and got fidds involved into bunch of shit. like his monster hunting which wasn't even the reason fiddleford went to gravity falls in the first place. he was there to help ford build the portal, not to be a part of ford's anomaly quest. and when fiddleford spoke out against it he was ignored because ford doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself or his muse. fiddleford got traumatized physically and mentally so deeply that in the need to be able to sleep at night peacefully he completely destroyed his mind to the state that even bill was scared to be in there. and what stanford did? he (the one who couldn't care less about fidds warning him about gremoblin) critiqued fiddleford for using the memory gun and didn't even bother to apologize or say that he's sorry in the journal. god, what am I saying, he didn't even took fiddleford to the hospital after fiddleford feel from the sky through the roof of a fucking barn with a dozen of poisonous quills in his body AND A BROKEN ARM. ford described what happened to fidds in the journal, said he "took him home for a treatment" and the next two paragraphs on the other page is "good news the hyperdrive works" LIKE IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THE HELL??? "despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant... I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive that I realized". no shit sherlock, who would've imagine that seeing your worst nightmares and being poisoned can leave a mark on your mental state. sure it's just fiddleford, he's just overreacting because he's "sensitive"))) /src

ford was ignoring fiddleford's concerns all the fucking time that mcgucket was there with him, he took a superstitious and religious guy with anxiety into the forest with real ass monsters who's no one but ford is used to see. fiddleford was warning stanford about shifty and got kidnapped with his identity stolen by the shapeshifter because ford didn't listen. well, at least this time stanford had bothered to apologize for another traumatic event- ah no, next thing ford said is that when the portal is finished all the traumas fiddleford had been through were "worth it". ford just finds ways to make everything worse

we all know that fiddleford has an addictive personality and that the memory gun is the biggest example of that. what we don't talk enough about is that ford at some point decided that sleeping is for losers, but didn't stop at himself and made fiddleford drink 13 fucking cups of coffee, not allowing him to sleep, what in the future made fiddleford a caffeine addict. ford is not only an overworking idiot who gladly damages his own health, no! he wants fiddleford to be the same and quote "gets frustrated" when fiddleford cares not only about his own, but their both basic needs. fiddleford had to work on the portal, get in the trouble with monsters because of ford, but also babysit this manchild to prevent him collapsing from exhaustion (which is more impossible than building a giant portal into the multiverse)

and here we are, the portal testing. once again (and as always) fiddleford did warned ford about everything. fiddleford was working without breaks for days to make sure if the portal will work, and when he found the flaws, he wrote a whole fucking thesis paper, putting all ford's research into a solid work (not taking even smallest credit even tho he was the one to build the portal. when fiddleford had his own theory in the university, ford helped him to only proof that fidds wasn't going crazy by checking the calculations and ford bothered to take the credit for the whole theory, but fiddleford who was a part and a victim of this monumental theory of weirdness didn't took it because he unlike ford doesn't care only about fame). but what did stanford do? he assumed that fiddleford wanted to steal his fucking fame and backstab him. ford didn't even bother to look at something fiddleford was making for three days without resting to make sure that portal won't hurt anyone in the town and that ford won't end up with empty hand if the portal was indeed a lost cause. stanford coldly dismissed fiddleford like they weren't friends, said that he doesn't really waiting fiddleford for the test of the device that fiddleford did built, and even knowing that the portal was dangerous fiddleford chose to come for the test

and then fiddleford got in the portal and it was the biggest traumatic event for him. it was the breaking point for him from which he couldn't stop using the memory gun. it damaged him so much, that he turned from that bright 30-y.o. man into the familiar to us old man mcgucket in the span of two years. his life was ruined for another 30 years, a half of his life he was a mad lonely guy who lived in the junkyard. the man who could've become someone like steve jobs but much better if only he didn't go to help stanford. his family could've been full, tate could have his father. the incident with the portal was the moment of no return for fiddleford, and what did stanford do?

when fiddleford got sucked in the portal, he thought only about the success of his work, that for fidds it was "a remarkable opportunity to confirm or deny the theory" (which he already did with his pre-test research). he didn't think that it was dangerous on the other side, that the portal wouldn't just disintegrate fidds on atoms. and when stanford saw him speaking in a non-human way, shaking and twitching in shock like fiddleford did after the gremoblin incident, ford decided it was nothing. when fiddleford warned him about the apocalypse because he was in the portal and saw it with his own eyes, ford, as always, didn't listen. he didn't just not care about fidds' condition — he diminished everything fiddleford was feeling and everything he witnessed only because it didn't fit in ford's believes which were based just on bill's words (and for stanford it's not something new to belittle things related to fiddleford. he wasn't taking fidds' dream of creating a portable computer seriously, believing that his weirdness theory was much more important)

and after this, stanford insults fiddleford and his family in the journal. he says that he doesn't regret their partnership (it's not really a partnership if stanford didn't count fiddleford as an equal) and friendship breaking up. "to think I considered him a friend!" I doubt he ever did. stanford doesn't know shit about being a good friend (or even a decent person) to someone who sacrificed everything for him. who did put his life aside to be with ford, who cared enough to stay despite stanford again and again putting him in danger, constantly waving him away and feeling no remorse for that. fiddleford was breaking himself for this guy, he canonically was going through "I am nobody to ford if I don't build stuff for him" (and in the end this is exactly what happened). fiddleford didn't tell ford most of his fears and concerns because he didn't want to bother him. fidds was constantly scared and kept in inside because he wanted to be a "better partner". "if I have an anxiety, I will pop anxiety pills", "I'm gonna get through this". and then he didn't

fiddleford was abused by stanford. he was to stanford that ford was to bill, in some ways even worse. it's fucking wild that fiddleford did forgive ford after 30 years of a neverending madness nightmare with his mind being destroyed so much as like it was the earth in the times of the dinosaurs after being hit by the meteorite. fiddleford had lost literally everything, he wasn't even himself for a half of his life and still fidds found the strength to forgive someone who is responsible for it and who used him with regular emotional neglect. and you know what? fuck this. ford would never forgive bill and fiddleford had every right to stay mad at stanford. ford needed to be stuck in the portal to get his head out of the ass and by that time there were only crumbs of someone who fiddleford once was

fiddauthor and billford both are about abuse and toxic relationships. it's up to you what you like to ship, but we need to acknowledge the fact that fiddauthor isn't some fluffy healthy thing where both are happy. fiddleford was never happy and stanford didn't care about fiddleford and his feelings. they made each other worse and ford ruined fidds' life. THIS is the real fiddauthor

[tetskuro]

Bestest Greetingzz! Love to participate in ur matchup!!

she/her pronouns

Romantic relationship

haikyuu!male paring preferably

I’m an overall quiet person in social situations, due to some anxiety but I’m working in it! I’m trying really hard to just work on myself, on not taking things so seriously and accepting life as it is.

I’ve always been focused on being approachable and kind with everyone I meet, by smiling and offering help when I can!

With my close friends I get all goofy silly and vulnerable. I don’t have many friends in which I feel chemistry but the ones that I do I keep close to my heart!

I love being active (but right now I’ve been really on a slump so that’s making me feel a bit sad) running sports and sometimes dancing for fun!

I also love music, I could talk about music for days always looking for new things to listen to and still loyal to my favs!

I’ve also gotten into cooking new dishes mainly Japanese and I’m always eager to try new dishes!

I would love a partner who would be open minded to anything and everything, who wouldn’t make me doubt how much they care about me, who looks at life positively and they must make me laugh. I want to built each other up, help each other through our good and bad days!

I’m terrified of first dates in general so something causal like a picnic would be preferred but I’m open to do anything, as long as I’m can talk with them a lot!

Extra:

Love language is physical touch and right now I’m very touch starved. I love domestic vibes, soft music playing while cooking or the sound of a storm outside as we are cuddling.

I’m latina so I have curly hair which is super hard to maintain! And I get jealous/insecure quite easily but i don’t show it because I don’t want to be toxic hehe.

Thank you so much!

Can’t wait!! ❤️❤️

your matchup is...

osamu miya

⭑ osamu is generally a laidback person so he'd be pretty open minded about most things

⭑ acts of service are his love language so you'd know how much he cares for you through everything that he does

⭑ tbh i feel like osamu would prefer casual dates as well

⭑ would definitely enjoy picnic dates

⭑ he'd get really excited thinking of what food to bring and packing the picnic basket

⭑ osamu would feel so happy anytime he got to cook for you and you complimented his food

⭑ hearing affirmations of how delicious his food is makes him feel even more sure that he made the right decision to pursue his passion of opening a restaurant

⭑ he always looks forward to the dishes you make and is just really glad he has someone else who shares his love for food

⭑ hypes up your cooking by saying something like "yer food's so good if ya were to open yer own restaurant, you'd give me a run fer my money"

⭑ and he means every word of it

⭑ he'd be more than down to cook and try new recipes and cuisines as well

⭑ you both would make it a point to try at least one new dish each week and you'd take turns picking out what the new recipe would be

⭑ there'd be a lot of cute domestic moments with osamu

⭑ cooking dinners as you can hear the soft patter of rain on the roof is one of your guys' favorite way to spend time

⭑ he takes your song recs and plays them at onigiri miya

⭑ the customers (and osamu) enjoy the music a lot so he's back asking you for more recs lmao

⭑ osamu would definitely join you on your runs whenever you're feeling up for them

⭑ also assures you that the slump you're in isn't permanent and makes sure you ease back into doing the physical activities that you enjoy such as running, sports, and dancing

⭑ loves casual intimacy like you hugging him from behind while he's making food or him resting his chin on your head while you go shopping

your matchup runner-up is sawamura daichi

[nathank77]

10/8/24

8:56 p.m

It may sound selfish but idc. I don't want a dog. I'm not over Nala. I'm not ready bc of Nala. I'm not ready bc of my ocd.

Let's pretend my mom can't deal with the living room kennel... and we rehome her. All my clothes will be poison ivy for at least a year. Poison ivy will be everywhere for a long time..

The poop and urine can be cleaned.... that part will go away. That would be nice.

I just don't understand how she thinks this will work. I have to shit 3 times in the morning like a train coming into the station. I don't have time to walk a dog at 8:30 a.m. I'm pooping then. Cooking takes me time. And now much more time bc of her.

My anxiety is through the roof. And I'm just fed up with it. Riley would snuggle up in bed with someone and be obedient and good. She is a good dog. But I'm just not the right guy. I worry about anyone entering the house... i worry she will attack someone.

Beyond that I have a lot of mental health recovery to go through and she makes everything worse...... like... I'm still hallucinating and having nightmares. I'm still ocd af.

I have medical issues... and I really truly need to focus on me. A German shepherd is a family dog. They require a lot of attention. I've never owned a dog that requires so much attention.

I just want to focus on me.

My mom doesn't realize her Christmas tree is going to be a baseball batting tent. Like her stuffed animals are going to get torn to shreds. Don't get me wrong you can say no... but she does require supervision

She's truly not a bad dog. She's actually a really good dog. And she deserves a family. Not a disabled guy making her lick cancer gloves. Not a slum yard. No one is willing to put the work in.

I can't start mowing the lawn. Not now.... I'm washing my dishes. I'm taking out my trash. I'm cleaning the toilet SEAT. I'm cleaning the shower. I'm cleaning the bathroom floors. I'm cleaning the bathroom rugs. All these things I couldn't do before my mom went to the hospital.

But it's one step at a time. I can't mow this lawn... I can't keep scraping shit out of shoes. I did the best i could but even the "clean," ones there is still shit wedged in them. I'm covered in dog hair..

I always feel gross and I just want to invest in me and my mother. My mother is not the dog. I want to invest in my mental health and go to prime house IF SHE EVER COMES HOME. And I want to spend more time with her and watch movies.

I can't watch movies with a dog shitting in front of my seat. I can't clean it.

If I ever have a baby... by that time I'll have to adjust to a lot of things but all the other things I'll be adjusted to by then.

Tbh I don't really want any dog ever again. I'd get a tiny dog maybe in a decade or so. And id have a nice yard. And id give her baths at petco and id play with her and all that but I have to be ready.

I'm sick of my ocd developing more complexed compulsive behaviors. I'm sick of smelling shit.

I hope she can't handle it. These shits are huge. The piss is a lake. And I mean I'm really not over Nala.

I'm not over her. I mean it when I say that. I let her asshole on my jeans and it bothered me. But i loved her so much. I mean her tongue went between my lips a couple times bc I ate food and she was sneaky lol and it grossed me out. But like I'm not ready for that kind of love with another dog.

Nala was so chill and adorable. She was a lap dog. She was perfect for me. If she was still here and Riley wasn't i wouldn't be talking about any of this. Cause she wouldn't run all over the yard. She wasn't dangerous to anyone. She was as sweet as pie.

I can't say enough how much I love Nala and how for right now I want her to be my last dog especially since I have psychosis and I'm still suffering from auditory hallucinations.

[pedrito-friskito]

twelve months with the devil - chapter two: november

summary: a night gone awry has you meeting the infamous devil of hell’s kitchen, and needless to say, you get much more than you bargained for.

warnings: assault/brief mentions of sexual assault (no specific/graphic depictions of but allusions/references/leading up to), canon-typical violence (to Daredevil, not really MCU, this is a rated-R show after all)

no smut in this one but so much matt murdock (we’ll get there don’t worry)

a/n: tbh going back to this story is making me like it again and that is a GOOD THING

(series masterlist) (main masterlist) (ao3)

In all honesty, it takes a couple weeks for the embarrassment that now followed you around the Tower — knowing Tony had caught you two how he had — to fade, and for you to finally muster up the courage to call the number on his card.

And it goes to voicemail, anxiety crawling up your throat as his slightly chipper voice tells you to leave a message after the beep.

You stumble on your words a little, convinced you’ve said your name at least six times when the message cuts out, and heave out a sigh when you hang up, groaning and tossing the phone out of sight.

Less than a minute later, it starts to ring, and you nearly jump out of your skin, scrabbling across the sheets and losing it within the fabric for a moment. You’re a little out of breath when you answer it, blowing away the hair that’s fallen into your face. “Hello?”

“Hey,” his voice comes, familiar on the phone, slightly deeper but still managing to send a shiver down your spine all the same. “Sorry I missed you.”

The problem with it all is that it’s been two and a half weeks since you laid eyes on him, more than fourteen days since he’d kissed you on the roof and let you ride him into next week. Two and a half weeks, and the mere thought of your tryst with Matt Murdock still has you weak in the knees. And hearing his voice through the phone? It’s a miracle the thing doesn’t fall out of your hand.

“That’s okay,” you say, your voice climbing a little higher. “There weren’t office hours on the card. Is this a good time?”

You can hear the smile in his tone as he responds, “I guess you can say I make my own hours. Owning the practice helps.” He huffs a laugh. “But yes, this is a good time.”

“Oh, good,” you breathe, the anxiety abating slightly but still sitting in your stomach. Why are you so nervous? What is it about this guy, honestly? “I just wanted to say hi.” You slap your hand against your forehead, silently groaning. I just wanted to say hi?

“Well, hi,” he replies with another laugh. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

You make a little humming sound, brushing off the shiver of heat that slips down your spine. “Yours too.”

Matt is silent for a moment, before, “I was hoping you’d call.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” you admit, flopping back on your bed, phone still held to your ear. “I had to wait for the embarrassment to fade. And I’m sorry, by the way, if what happened puts you in an awkward position with Tony. I had no idea he’d come up there.”

Your words are a little fast, and Matt starts to cut you off partway through. “Hey, hey. It’s fine, okay? You have nothing to be sorry for. I had…fun.”

Your breath goes shaky. “So did I.”

“Can I see you again?” Matt asks, and his tone is so gentle it’s a miracle you don’t melt into a puddle right there on your bed. “Tonight maybe?”

You think for a second, then curse, “Fuck, I have plans tonight with friends actually. Tomorrow night?”

“Works for me,” he replies. “You like Chinese?”

“I do.”

“I know a place,” he tells you, the grin still plain in his voice. “Pick you up at eight?”

“It’s a date,” you say, the words sending a zip of electricity through you.

“It is,” he replies. “Have fun tonight. Where you going?”

“Oh,” you bite your tongue, thinking, “some place on 9th Avenue, in Hell’s Kitchen. Friends from work.”

“Be safe,” he says instantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” you say back, and the line goes dead, taking your breath with it.

+

Working for Stark Industries, and more specifically Pepper, had given you at least a bit of social capital in the Tower and in a shocking twist, you’d made friends.

It had been a few lonely months when you’d first relocated, and you’ll be the first to admit that it took a decent kick in the ass from Pepper for you to even consider socializing with anyone other than her and Tony. The few people you spoke to the Tower were more than enough, and the one and only conversation you’d had with Natasha Romanov at that point had left your battery drained for a few days, but quietly wanting more.

But then sure enough, you were bound to encounter another human at one point or another, and you did, somehow managing to find yourself within the friend group consisting of Caleb, Laura. and Sam, all interns working for Stark Industries. Caleb had been the first to approach you, apparently having heard through the rumour mill who you were and demanding you two be friends immediately. He introduced you to Laura and Sam, and you managed to insert yourself as part of the group.

And being part of the group, Caleb has had to remind you at least twice at this point, means going out with your friends. A different bar every time, since Caleb and Laura put together the New York Bar Bucket List and were both hellbent on you all finishing it together.

So you put on some lipstick, wear some comfortable shoes, and make your way to Caleb’s apartment on the Upper West Side. He greets you enthusiastically, already pushing a drink into your hand the moment you step into his kitchen. “So, what’s new and exciting?” he asks, sipping his own beverage. “Did you call the man of your dreams yet?”

You’d rehashed what had happened at the Stark Halloween party to Caleb first, grateful as anything to have a friend to tell the story to. He’d texted you nearly every day since, asking if you’d finally called yet.

“I have a date tomorrow night,” you admit, running your finger around the rim of your glass, “with him.”

Caleb slaps his hand against the countertop, grinning at you. “Thank god.”

+

Four hours, more shots than you can honestly remember, and one bottle of Vitamin Water that you basically poured down your throat as soon as you’d paid for it at the bodega, Caleb and Sam bid you goodnight a few blocks from the Tower, both of them continuing on to the Upper West Side where they live, Laura having departed earlier in the evening.

You wobble in your boots a little, reaching into your purse for your badge to get into the Tower. The light turns red as you approach, and you quickstep past an alleyway to get closer to the intersection.

You hear it coming, and you try to duck out of the man’s reach, but you come up short and he grabs the sleeve of your jacket, pulling you into the alley and throwing you against the brick in one motion. A whimper falls out of you as your head hits the wall, the bricks hard against your skull. “Where you going, sweet thing?” the man snarls, an ugly grin on his mouth. He’s balding, a poorly done bulldog tattoo on the side of his neck, and he’s wearing a leather jacket that has definitely seen better days, the fabric ripping at his shoulders.

The tattoo. It makes your blood run cold, makes your stomach flip. Your body stops cooperating, fear freezing everything in you. “Let me go,” you try to yell, but your voice doesn’t want to work. It comes out as a rasp instead. “Please, let me go.”

It takes a minute for you to realize he’s starting to pull at your clothes, trying to get your jacket open, and your brain finally kicks into high gear. You put up the best struggle you can, kicking your legs and scratching at anything within your reach. You manage to claw your fingers across the man’s cheek, surprising yourself when it leaves three bloody welts across his face.

Unfortunately for you, all it does is piss him off, and he backhands you hard, enough that you have to blink away the black dots that instantly invade your vision as your head smacks against the bricks before sagging on your shoulders.

Vaguely, you’re aware of him tossing you to the pavement, sinking to his knees behind you before there’s the quiet shhkt of a knife. There’s a sharp pain in your hand and your forearm, but you’re distracted by the tell-tale sound of a belt coming undone. He kicks your legs wide, the impact of his boot making your leg shout in pain, then reaches for your waist, the cool of the knife touching the back of your calf.

It all dawns on you at once, what’s about to happen, and you open your mouth to scream.

But before you can, the man lets out a pained yelp and is dragged away from you, towards a dumpster a ways down the alley. There’s more flashing of the knife, loud grunts from both men. The Man in Black pummels into your attacker hard, blood spraying against brick and pavement before he upends the asshole into the dumpster, the lid slamming shut with a loud noise that echoes through your ears, making your head throb.

You’re quickly helped up, and your vision blurs slightly as you look up at your saviour.

Is this real life?

The Man in Black stands before you, the dark clothing on his body torn in a few places, fresh injuries glistening in the streetlight. You’ve read the articles, seen the news clips. Tony has even mentioned him a few times in passing. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, the masked vigilante trying his damnedest to clear crime from the streets.

Here he is, saving your life.

There’s a groaning noise in the dumpster and you yelp, flinching into the Devil’s chest, your hands clinging to his shoulders. “It’s okay,” he tells you, his voice low and rough and somewhere in your drunk and terrified brain you think you recognize it, but you can’t be sure. “You’re okay.”

“He was gonna…” you stutter out, trailing off, your gaze finding the cowl that covers the upper half of his face. No eyes to meet, though you think you can feel some phantom gaze searching your features, checking you for injuries. “He was…and you…thank you.”

Your knees give out then, the shock settling in, making your heart speed up as the Man in Black sweeps an arm beneath your knees and lifts you easily, letting you settle against his broad chest. “Easy,” he mutters. “Is there somewhere I can take you?”

“T-the…Avengers,” you slur out, “Avengers Tower.”

He pauses a moment before nodding his head. “You got it.”

And then he takes off down the street with you in his arms. He weaves through backstreets and blessedly empty alleyways, keeping you out of sight but getting to the Tower one way or another. You cling to him, everything just happened playing over and over in your head on repeat, like a skipping record. Your body almost doesn’t feel like your own, your hands shaking and your stomach churning.

Finally, the back entrances to the Tower appear, and the Man in Black sets you down carefully, making sure you’re balanced before removing his hands completely. He presses your phone into your hand, the screen coming to life. “Call them. Get inside and stay there. He won’t bother you again.”

You just stare at him, dumbfounded, the hand holding your phone just hovering in the air. “You’re gonna kill him?”

The cowl rises, covered eyes staring at you. “I don’t kill people. I’ll take him out of that dumpster and straight to the cops. You aren’t the first woman he’s attacked in this city, but you will be the last, I promise.”

He keeps talking, you think, his mouth forming more words as you stare up at him.

You know that mouth. You’ve been dreaming about that mouth for weeks. That mouth has been haunting you since the moment it showed up in your life.

That mouth just saved your life, dressed like a ninja in the middle of the night.

His name is on the tip of your tongue, you’re about to say it when the phone in your hand starts to ring, vibrating against your palm. Blearily, you make out Tony’s name on the screen, and your eyes zero in on the time — it’s nearly three in the morning.

You go to answer the phone but your knees give out again. The Man catches you with one arm, answers your phone with the other. “She’s at the back entrance. No life-threatening injuries. She’ll be okay.”

Before Tony can respond, the Man hangs up the phone and tucks it back into your pocket. Your vision is going now, black around the edges and there’s a hand on your cheek, a thumb swiping across your cheek. “You’re gonna be okay.”

There’s a soft kiss pressed to your forehead, your ears ringing and a blur of motion across your fading gaze.

The doors burst open a moment later, Tony and Pepper and a throng of security guards appear. Through your dimmed vision, you can make out the sheer panic on your sister’s face, Tony’s hard expression over her shoulder as Pepper pulls you into your arms. “Oh god,” she cries, her voice shockingly loud in your ear, “we’ve been worried sick!”

“Sorry, Pep,” you slur, tasting copper on your tongue and your vision finally giving out completely. “Won’t happen again.”

Your head lolls back on your shoulders and everything fades away.

+

You wake the next morning in the Tower’s medbay, sprawled on a gurney, your bloodied and dirty clothing replaced with a hospital gown. Instantly, your body starts to ache, your head throbbing along with your heartbeat and you wince, gripping your side as you push yourself to sit up.

Pepper is asleep in a chair at your bedside, a suit jacket draped across her like a makeshift blanket, and your eyes follow the perimeter of room to eventually land on Tony, jacket-less, standing at the foot of your bed, arms crossed over his chest. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning,” you reply, hissing when the movement makes your lip sing, and you can feel the cut near the corner of your mouth open, the taste of copper on your tongue. “Has she been here all night?”

“Wouldn’t leave your side for a second.”

You sigh, pushing a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Tony repeats, his brows raising. “What are you sorry for? We found you beat to shit at the back entrance. This wasn’t your fault. No apology necessary.” He comes around the side of the gurney, perching on the edge of it and covering your bandaged hand with his own. It comes in flashes; the pain in your arm when your attacker had thrown you to the ground, before he’d… You blink hard, willing away the image, willing away the thought of what might have happened if the Man in the Mask hadn’t shown up.

If M—

“Some guy answered your phone last night when I called,” Tony continues, ducking his head and trying to meet your eyes. “Wanna tell me who that was?”

You lift your gaze to his after a moment. “You’re not gonna believe me.”

Tony scoffs. “Kid, I’ve seen aliens fly through portals in the sky and pushed a nuke through said portal into a black hole. Try me.”

You stifle a laugh, the movement hurting your lip. You look at Tony for a moment, searching his face. He’s genuinely curious, his brow slightly creased. “Can you at least tell me that the guy who answered your phone isn’t the one who did this to you? Because if so, there’s a bigger issue here.”

“No, no,” you protest, lifting a hand. “It wasn’t him. Some sleaze-ball in an alleyway, jumped me a couple blocks from the Tower and tried to…tried t—” You cut yourself off, shaking your head. “It was the Man in the Mask, that answered my phone. He…saved me.”

Tony’s brows shoot up so fast you’re surprised they don’t touch his hairline. “The Man in the Mask?”

He’s grinning, and for a moment, you think he’s making fun of you. “Yes. You know, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?”

“I know who he is, kid,” he says, still grinning. “But you’re telling me my favourite backwater vigilante saved your life last night, and I got to talk to him?”

You roll your eyes, shoving at his shoulder. “You’re an ass.”

There’s a soft knock at the door, and you both turn to see one of the medbay attendants in the doorway, two figures over her shoulder. “A Mr. Murdock and a Mr. Nelson are here to see you, miss. Are you feeling up to visitors?”

Your stomach does a flip at the mere mention of Murdock, and you can see Tony’s all too amused face out of the corner of your eye. You wave him off, replying to the attendant, “Yes, send them in.”

She steps to the side to allow the pair to enter. You have to cover your mouth with your hand when you see the Get Well Soon! balloon that’s currently tied to Matt’s cane, and a familiar pink box carried in the hands of who you assume to be Franklin Nelson, Matt’s partner.

“We come bearing gifts!” Franklin declares, and sets the box on the foot of the bed, flipping it open to reveal an impressive array of doughnuts that makes your stomach growl instantly. He holds his hand out to you, “Foggy Nelson. Sorry we haven’t officially met, and sorrier that we officially have under the current circumstances.”

“It’s nice to meet you regardless, Foggy,” you reply, smiling and shaking his hand, then reaching for one of the powdered doughnuts: your weakness. You can feel Matt’s not-there gaze on you, his head cocked to the side slightly. “Thank you for the doughnuts.”

“Oh, and there’s this,” Matt says, shaking himself a little. “It’s got a monkey on it, so I’m told.”

He rounds the edge of the gurney and pulls the balloon ribbon free from his cane, then awkwardly extends his hand to you. You take it from him, retying the ribbon on one of the bedrails. He reaches for your hand afterward, his fingers brushing along your pulse, and you let him hold it for a moment before pulling away, settling your hands in your lap.

“Well, I guess we should get right to it,” Foggy says, giving Matt a sideways glance. “The man who attacked you was apprehended last night. Six other victims in Hell’s Kitchen alone have stepped forward and want to press charges. He’s got a history, should be easy to put him away for a while.”

You swallow hard, but Tony speaks before you can. “Wait, how do you know it’s the guy who attacked her? She’s been unconscious since we found her last night, she hasn’t given a description, or—”

“The Man in the Mask,” you start, glancing at Matt as you say the words, “left him in a dumpster and carried me to the Tower. He told me he’d take him straight to the cops, so what he did to me wouldn’t ever happen again.” A chill runs down your spine and you put your arms around yourself, hands gripping your biceps. “What do you need from me?”

Foggy goes to open his briefcase. “Positive identification and a testimony. They might put you on the stand, but I doubt it, since there are so many others. And others he did…worse things to.”

Bile creeps up the back of your throat. Foggy and Tony keep talking, legal jargon that does nothing but make your brain hurt. You drop your head into your hands, pushing your palms against your temples and shutting your eyes tight. It could have been worse, it could have been worse, it could have been worse. The words start to repeat in the back of your mind, white noise sending shocks of pain through the back of your skull. Your breathing gets a little shallow, your heart picking up in your chest and when you lift your head again, Matt is sitting right beside you, cane balanced between his legs, and his fingers wrap around your wrist, pressing just hard enough against your pulse.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he whispers, and your breath hitches in your throat. “Foggy, that’s enough for today,” he says over his shoulder. “She’s shaken and recovering. We don’t need to do this now.”

“But Matt, she—”

“Foggy,” Matt repeats, his voice going harsh, and the whole room quiets. You look up at him, grateful and a little scared. His thumb reaches up and swipes across the inside of your palm. “We’ll draw up some documents for you to sign, and you might have to go down to the police station to make a statement, but it can wait for now. They have the guy, that’s all that matters. And if it goes to court, we’ll represent you.” He coughs, clearing his throat. “If that’s what you want.”

You nod frantically as the tears that have been building since that asshole grabbed you start to slip free. After a moment, you remember that he can’t see you nodding your head and say, “Yes, please. Though I don’t know if I can afford you.”

Now it’s Foggy that scoffs. “Nelson and Murdock has accepted anything from pies to chickens in lieu of real money,” he says, clapping Matt on the shoulder. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

+

A few hours later, you’re back in the residence, back in your own bed, and you feel slightly better.

It took a while for the tears to stop — after Matt and Foggy had left, Pepper had woken up and found you sobbing on Tony, had quickly kicked into Big Sister mode, and spent the rest of the morning glued to your side, her arm permanently affixed to your shoulder, her voice soft and reassuring. She’d camped out in your room for a bit once you’d moved back to the residence, watching a movie with you to keep you distracted, but then her work phone had started ringing and ringing and ringing and you’d all but forced her to answer it. “CEO problems,” she’d laughed, and she’d kissed your forehead before leaving the room.

You’d gotten a frantic call from Natasha, from what sounded like the middle of a mission, judging by her quiet tone and the quieter shuffle of feet and tapping of keys. “Don’t worry about me,” she’d said when you asked just what she was doing and why she couldn’t have waited until it was over to call you, “I’m more worried about you.”

“You don’t have to be,” you’d told her. “I’m fine.”

“Hah,” she laughed, “heard that one before. Honestly, are you okay?”

You lifted a shoulder before realizing she couldn’t see you. “As good as I can be,” you replied, “given the circumstances.”

“I’ll take it,” she said, and you could hear the grin in her voice. “You should take the guy to court though, if you can. I hear your lawyer’s cute.”

“I’m gonna kill Tony.”

“You’ll have to catch him first,” Nat replied. “Oop, I gotta go. Glad you’re okay, talk soon!”

The line went dead and you tossed the phone onto the bed.

The night crept closer and closer, as did your feeling of dread as you realized what plans you had made for tonight before what happened…happened.

You’d made the mistake of looking in the mirror as soon as you’d gotten back to your room, quick to change out of the hospital gown and into comfy clothes.

Whatever you’d been wearing last night had been taken as evidence, and the medbay attendant had informed you that they’d taken swabs under your nails. Right — you’d clawed him in the face before he’d thrown you to the ground. You also learned that they’d removed three shards of glass from your arm (the cause of the pain you’d felt when you landed on the ground) and the marks on your cheek were juvenile road-rash, so you could expect some pain and bruising around your eye as it healed. From what they could tell, you also had a minor concussion, but it wasn’t anything to worry about.

You were a bit of a mess, put simply, but you were alive. And intact. Mostly.

The reflection, however, was more jarring than your diagnosis. Your hair was a mess, no doubt made worse but your nervous habit of running your hands through it and pulling. They’d cleaned most of the blood from it, thankfully, but it still hung lank around your face. And your face was the worst of it. Your cheek was badly bruised — and scraped from the road-rash — and your bottom lip was swollen, accompanied by the split you’d noticed earlier. There was a small cut above your eyebrow and across the bridge of your noise, probably from the backhand you’d received or your face hitting the pavement.

You looked like shit.

Even after an hour-long shower, most of which you had spent just sitting under the hot spray, you felt like shit, your body aching even in places that weren’t bruised. Your knees had taken the brunt of your fall, but your side hurt like hell, and it truly felt as though someone had lit a fire in the back of your brain, letting it spread against the base of your skull.

Your finger hovered over Matt’s contact in your phone. You didn’t want to cancel, but the thought of going out into the city so soon, of looking the way you currently did in public…Matt couldn’t see, he wouldn’t know, but people would stare. And the man that had attacked you…

He was locked up, that much was true, and it did ease your worries slightly. But you hadn’t told Matt, or Tony or Pepper, that you’d recognized the tattoo on the man’s neck, poorly done as it was. It was a coincidence, it had to be. And it didn’t matter anymore now anyways; Matt and Foggy would make sure he was put behind bars, and you’d be completely free of the past. Forever.

Unless they sent another one to—

You push the thought away, scrubbing a hand over your face as your phone starts to ring, Matt Murdock appearing on the screen. You suck in a breath, pressing your palm against your forehead. “Matt?”

“Hey,” comes the reply, his voice a little husky. “How are you?”

“You’re the fourth person to ask me that in the past hour,” you say.

“Oof,” he mumbles. “Should I take it back?”

“No,” you say instantly, “I like it coming from you. And I’m…okay, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“Sad that I probably won’t be seeing you this evening,” he says, and you can hear his tone is genuine, “but very glad that you’re alive and okay.”

“Me too,” you murmur, feeling the hot tears creeping back up your throat. “I was about to call you, actually. You beat me to the punch.”

“I had a feeling. And Foggy mentioned you were a little…bruised. It’s okay, we can reschedule, wait until you—”

“Don’t look like I got jumped in an alley?” you offer, and Matt goes quiet. “Sorry, too soon.”

He laughs into the phone, the sound slightly muffled. “As long as you’re okay.”

“That is a loaded question, Mr. Murdock,” you admit, pushing your hand through your hair. “But thank you, for everything.”

You put a little emphasis on the everything, wondering if he catches the meaning, if he knows you figured it out. But he doesn’t comment on it. “You’re welcome.” You can hear the grin in his voice before there’s a beep on the line. “Oh, that’s probably Foggy; I gotta take it. But we’ll talk soon?”

“We will. Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight,” he responds, his voice soft and low, your name following his farewell in an almost gravelly tone. “You’re gonna be okay.”

+

You’re restless, twisting and turning in your sheets, unable to find a comfortable position that doesn’t put pressure on at least one of your bruises. Eventually, you give up, finding something on Netflix to occupy your time and trying to doze between episodes of The Office. At one point, you step onto your balcony, wrapped in a blanket, the sounds of the city wafting up to you from far below.

You think you spot him on the rooftop across from the Tower, the black-clad figure, only his jaw visible from this distance. But then you blink, and he’s gone, and a gust of cold wind has you retreating inside.

When you wake up the next morning, there’s a single white rose perched on the balcony ledge, tied with a black velvet ribbon.

[k-odyssey]

Thoughts on tvn's Happiness (ep 11 & 12)

Tbh a love confession hits different when the characters have just barely escaped bloodthirsty zombies by saving each other. And one of them is, in fact, in imminent danger of turning into a bloodthirsty zombie.

This elevator scene is the culmination of so many things and that's why it's so good. 12 years of friendship and love. The happiest marriage of convenience. Over a week of anxiety and confinement and deadly chaos. Days of agony and fear, for Hyun.

On the one hand it's like, finally! She's saying it. And at a moment when Hyun really needs to hear it. And when it's really meaningful, cause it shows she loves him no matter what. On the other hand, they have no guaranty that they'll make it out of there alive, and he's already decided that this is goodbye. At least for now. The bittersweetness of it.

But I love that in this moment, Yi Hyun is finally letting his guard down and Sae Bom is the one who says she'll take care of him. Even if he won't actually let her (yet).

It makes so much sense that he would choose to stay behind but I hated every second of that separation scene. I guess it's fine to bite a serial killer under those circumstances? It was self-defense.

I did like the parallel between their first encounter on the high school roof where she saved his life, and his sacrifice on this roof to save her life.

The writer and her brother really came through. Plot-wise and as comic relief. Seo Yoon, too. She saved the day. With grenades. Which is not something you expect from a child character.

Representative lady just descended into madness?? Which was interesting to watch. I guess that's what happens when social status is all that matters to you and you define yourself only in opposition to others (poor, infected) but then the epidemic ruins your life, exposes you and takes your loyal husband.

Other surprise of the week: the mistress bashing #601's head with a golf club? I knew she was an opportunist, and pretty okay with murder being committed for her benefit. Did not realize she would do it herself?? I don't encourage violence but I mean, he literally did the same thing to his wife so.

Lawyer guy is such a coward and I was sooo happy to see his wife throw the ring at his feet as she left him behind. You go girl, he never deserved you. (I love that the kid knew who was trustworthy or not.)

The cleaners also just?? lost it?? I did not expect such scheming from that lady. But the older couple and their son had an unexpectedly heartwarming reunion.

Normally I wouldn't be into video confessions as I find them awkward but here it 100% worked with the plot and heightened the heartbreak. Nothing sadder than finding a love message when you don't even know if they're alive or not.

Also when I realized that life was pretty much back to normal outside my jaw dropped. People are dying in there and no one's come for them???

Sae Bom looks like such a bad bitch here, I was almost disappointed that she didn't need to fight her way out of that place. Although, technically, it's a good thing that she got help. And I like Lee Ji Soo a lot in the finale.

Han Tae Seok seems to know that he was wrong in many ways. But until the end, he would've broken any rule for his wife. Meanwhile, Sae Bom decides that she'd rather give Seo Yoon's mum the antibody, cause Hyun has her to take care of him. Which is so in character for her.

Anyway, the part where Hyun says "if he stays with his family he might be able to endure better"!!! They're on the same wavelength. 🥲 And this scene omg. The looks on their faces.

I was so happy to see them alive and well and in love at the end. But if it were me I would've moved the hell away from that building!! Don't they have PTSD from back then?? Did anyone really wanna live there after what happened?? So. many. murders.

Maybe I missed something, but I was wondering what the government was doing the whole time. And, as I've said, the science side of things was a bit shaky. But other than that, I really, really liked this drama. 10/10 would watch obsessively again.

PS: I loved the soundtrack. Wouldn't necessary listen to it outside of this but it worked so well.

[saturneves]

Feel free not to post this ask. Just wanted to update you on myself. Idk maybe you actually care about me, and I don’t want to give you unnecessary anxiety.

I have just been very anxious (always am tbh but whatever). Having a hard writing an ask to you because my brain thinks I am sharing too much. And also because I haven’t talked to anyone for almost a year now (other than for school shit and excluding maybe 2 people that chat with me on and off, and of course my family) so you talking to me and saying compliments my brain go brr for that. So anxiety. I still see your art. It is still so gorgeous and I still love it. I will never stop thanking you about it. Sorry for over sharing.

Uhh just wanted to share this link with you, so that you can have something to do (been reading on here that you need distractions and stuff, and I had this saved for a week now but anxiety again). So I hope it helps https://takewhatyouneed.carrd.co/#distraction . But I can suggest you to do some jigsaw puzzles (if you have them, but I'm pretty sure you can print some and then just cut it out. I haven’t tried doing it this way yet but it probably works, I really like puzzles lol), you can sew to make stuffed toys out of old fabric (don’t know if you have stuffing but if you have an old pillow, that would work), you can try needle felting (again need to buy materials for that, be careful to not stab your fingers while doing it. I have done so countless of times lol. Would recommend you try out a kit first, like the one that tells you what to do and has set materials. Or you can do whatever you want), you can do diamond painting (buying materials again, I like doing small things. Don’t know if you'd like it though), and you can try 3D miniature house kit (again again, need to buy shit with this one. Little things again).

Ok sorry for the long message again. Other that my anxiety I am also having my finals next week. So I probably will be back after that. Let's see if my anxiety won’t be a bitch and let me talk to people. Ok I hope that shit I sent helps. Thank you so much, ok byee

-🎩

this ask truly warmed my heart❤ you never have to worry about oversharing, i love seeing you in my inbox! i'm not big on chatting so asks are perfect for me, as i can take all the time i need to work out what i'm going to say and stuff. you don't ever have to hesitate to send me an ask whenever you've got something on your mind, i love hearing your thoughts about my art and anything else :)

i get the whole not talking to people thing, i got very sick 2-3 years ago and basically had to shut down my entire life, i stayed home with my mom for nearly 2 years and lost all my friends. i missed 2 whole years of school. it really fucked up my ability to make friends/form connections and when i had to go back to school my anxiety was through the roof, and it hasn't fully eased up. it's not until last year i worked up the courage to actually talk to somebody at the new school i had to go to (well she approached me first but hey, i felt brave enough to keep talking to her), and now i think i have a best friend. i sincerely hope you can find some sort of calm, that you can make a connection too. i'm bad with encouragement, but i do try my best, so trust me when i say you've got this!

and woah that link!! i tried a few of them out, i loved the 'watch the stars' one, i like space. i'm gonna check the rest of them out throughout the day, thank you so much! i'm not good with sewing or needle felting (tried both as a kid) but honestly i would like to try it again.. i have a bit of stuffing over from my killing eve bear so i could make the tiniest stuffed animal in the world i guess lol. as for needle felting, i might have to try again someday!! i also poked my fingers all the time when i tried it as a kid, ouch. and i've never actually tried diamond painting!

well this is turning into a long reply. i hope you're comfortable with me publishing this ask, if not just let me know! i wish you all the luck in the world with your finals!! <3

[rfadaydreaming]

— cellophane

why won’t you do it for me? when all i do is for you?

pairing: jumin x mc

words: 4.4k

link to read on ao3 [x]

prompt: failures // fights

tags: angst, language, unhealthy relationship, a bit toxic tbh, insecure jumin, emotional manipulation, unhappy marriage

a/n: for: @mysme-events​ angst week. this piece is inspired by fka twigs song, cellophane!

“Are you mad at me?”

Your voice had come out smaller than you had intended.

“Is there a reason I should be mad at you?”

He replied without meeting your gaze, opting to focus on the rain outside the car window instead. You didn’t quite know what kind of emotion his tone was carrying, but yet you knew it wasn’t good.

“No...”

You became hyperaware of the bad taste beginning to form in the back of your throat. It’s all too familiar, unfortunately.

“Then I shouldn't be mad at you. Should I?”

You didn’t answer him. You just weren’t sure what to say.

Heavy silence filled the car once again, the rain against the roof of the vehicle was the only thing that occupied the small space.

You sighed louder than you meant to, arms crossing over your torso, cheek resting against the foggy glass of the window. The cold felt nice against your skin, helped keep you grounded, calm. You took in a few deep breaths as you thought back on the events of earlier tonight.

The unfamiliar hand grazing the small of your back surprised you to say the least, you wanted to flinch away the moment you felt his hands touch you,, but yet you didn’t move. Why? You’re not exactly sure. Politeness, anxiety, maybe a mix of both. Maybe something else underneath it all.

You recognized the voice as a business partner of Jumins, the owner of the company that’s been occupying most of your husband's time as of late. Late nights, long meetings, hoards and hoards of paperwork.

His reputation was one you knew well, hearing it all secondhand from Jumin. He was quick to drop anyone who disagreed with him, no matter how small. Such a pain for your stubborn husband to work around, but yet as always, he somehow managed.

But one thing your husband made sure you knew about was his stance with women in particular. You weren’t allowed to come to the company dinners anymore. You could only drop things off through Jaehee at the office.

It seems he didn’t even want you to call him after meetings, one thing you two have always done even before you had started dating. Maybe the fear of his colleague overhearing your voice was the reason behind it, you didn’t know, you didn’t ask. You knew he would get upset if you did. 

Stay away from him, was all he warned.

And you promised him that you would.

“And you must be the famous Mrs Han, I presume?”

He was in front of you now, his hand lingering on your hip for a moment before pulling away. You inched away ever so slightly.

“Ah, Yes. I am.”

You had to look up to him to reply due to how close he was, the first thing you noticed was just how much he resembled Jumin. The only major difference was his eyes, while your husbands were grey and light, his were brown and deep. The similarities threw you off guard for a moment, however your surprise once you met his gaze seemed to be taken a different way than you had intended.

A slight chuckle escaped his lungs, It was warm and clear, it had a bit more of a higher pitch than Jumin’s did. More character to it.

“I’ve heard such great things about you! Your husband seems like quite the happy man. And I can see why, you’re beautiful. Ah– If I can say that, that is.”

You shied away without thinking, you didn’t particularly like the feeling you had in your stomach right now. You were also painfully aware of how his position was giving him a ‘good view’ of your body from up there, as your husband would sometimes say. 

His words seemed innocent, he seemed kind. But Jumin’s warning still flickered within your mind.

“Thanks, I suppose.”

You fully expected him to take advantage of his much taller height, but yet he didn’t seem to. His eyes were trained onto your own as he smiled, never glancing down at your chest even once.

A weird feeling stirred deep within your insides.

He isn’t like how Jumin described at all.

Why would your husband lie?

You entertained his small talk for a few minutes, he introduced himself, as did you.

Fear was the main thing holding you back from leaving, of course. Jumin had been working on this project for months now, the memories of him falling asleep over his laptop, his dark circles, his late night confessions of just how much his head ached were fresh in the back of your mind.

His mood swings, his exhaustion, his late nights.

Be polite.

Be polite for Jumin.

“–But enough about all that! Do you drink?”

“Uhm… Wine, sometimes. But i’m not the biggest fan.”

“Any reason in particular?”

He leaned into you a bit, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. You naturally smiled in return.

“I’ve tried some wine, but they’re just all so bitter to me.”

You scrunched your nose a little at the memories. Vineyards with Jumin were never your favorite, he just loved such sour wines.

“Bitter? Your husband is an investor in how many wineries exactly, yet only offers his wife bitter wine? Hm. We can’t have that now, can we?”

He spoke with a smile, wrapping his arm around your waist and beginning to guide you towards the bar. Before you even got the chance to protest in return, he was already sweeping you away. His thumb ran circles on your hip that you were painfully aware of. 

The pit in your stomach was growing heavier and heavier with every step.

It's been awhile since Jumin’s had even touched you like this, you thought.

It was nice.

He was rambling on about the wines he had lined up for tonight as he led you to a seat, pulling it out for you while still going on and on. You couldn’t even find an opening to interject, ask for a bathroom break, anything. 

He ordered you a drink, as well as one for himself.

You desperately scanned the room for Jumin, eyes bouncing off black suit after black suit. You just couldn’t pinpoint him like this, everyone was wearing such similar clothing...

You swallowed thickly and took a sip of the wine in front of you, face cringing a bit as you expected the worst, however pleasantly surprised once the taste had hit your tongue. 

It wasn't nearly as bitter as the wines Jumin often offered you.

Jumin’s sudden touch to your knee had caused you to jump a little, breaking you away from your racing thoughts.

“Stop.”

He finally met your gaze, you scrunched your brows in confusion. Two fingers pressed down against your skin, putting a halt to your restless leg.

“You know I don't like when you do that.”

A sigh escaped his lungs as he pulled his hand back, crossing his arms over his torso once again. Back to staring at whatever was so interesting outside the window. Oh yes, you had forgotten. How could you.

You glanced down at your knee after he had already pulled away.

It was red from the pressure that had been placed there.

“Well, sorry for being such an inconvenience then.”

You laughed a little in disbelief as you spoke, pressing your cheek against the window once more. 

Maybe it was a childish thing to say, but you truly didn’t care right now. You slumped further into the seat, humming to yourself softly as you stole some glances here and there towards your husband. 

His face was void of any readable emotion as of now, but his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes said everything you needed to know. He seemed to be thinking about something, your words perhaps. He suddenly met your eyes without warning. It made you flinch. 

“Inconvenience.”

He looked at you as he spoke. It felt so cold. You could feel anxiety beginning to build. 

“Inconvenience, is searching all over the venue for my wife when she won’t even bother to pick up her phone for her husband.”

He opened his mouth to continue, but you had cut him off before he got the chance,

“Jumin I told you it was almost dead earlier tonight, I just–“

“Don’t interrupt me while i’m speaking. Please.”

Jumin raised his voice harshly, it was ever so slight, but it still took you by surprise. His eyes were oddly intense with an emotion you couldn’t quite pinpoint, all you knew is that they carried weight behind him. One you weren’t used to seeing. 

His gaze made you feel small and slightly embarrassed, you weren’t even sure why. It just did.

You nodded and closed your mouth, letting him go on.

“Inconvenience, is watching my wife entertain another man while I watch from the sidelines. Not just any man, but the one man I so vividly remember telling her to stay away from.”

You opened your mouth to interject once more but his brows furrowed as soon as you did so, his chin tilted forward in silent warning.

He continued on.

“Inconvenience, is seeing my wife share drinks with another man. Flirting with another man. Touching another man.”

“I didn't flirt.”

You raised your voice slightly, not by much, but it was enough to make him raise a brow. It was just... so hard to control yourself when he was being like this sometimes.

“Sharing a few drinks with him, laughing and giggling like some teenage schoolgirl, letting him put his hands all over you. Might as well have.”

Jumin’s tone was still so cold, monotone, and for some reason that hurt more than anything else could have.

It was like this most of the time. He would never yell, he would never shout, barely even show any emotion at all if you’re being honest. It drove you up the wall sometimes. You always left feeling like you were the irrational one because of it, no matter the case. 

It seems that’s what was happening again. As it always does.

“I wasn't given a choice, Jumin! He wouldn’t let me–”

The car came to a sudden stop, you groaned a bit, nearly biting your tongue due to the stop. It interrupted you just as you had begun to raise your voice.

 Jumin gave you an heavy look before rolling down the partition, Driver Kim gave him the confirmation that you two were back home.

He got out first, offering you a hand that you had refused to take.

The elevator ride was so uncomfortable.

His posture was relaxed as it usually was, hands messing with his cufflinks absentmindedly, his expression nearly blank while he stared at the panel of buttons on the wall, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world or something. The only indicator he has when he’s upset would be a clenched jaw.

It was something you had become oh so familiar with these past couple of months.

Anxiety was building up inside of your body, it felt itchy, it nearly burned. It was almost always there and had no issues made itself well known. But there was something deeper building behind it, not just from the argument. Something unfamiliar, bitter, ugly.

It frightened you.

You weren’t sure what it was yet.

And you weren’t sure if you wanted to know.

The two of you entered the penthouse in heavy silence, it felt like even breathing was much too loud for the atmosphere around the both of you. Elizabeth the Third had come running over as soon as the door opened, but it seems even she was able to sense the tension. You weren’t surprised, she usually can.

She opted to climb up on the couch instead, tail twitching back and forth as she watched her parents carefully from afar. You vaguely wondered if she knew something you didn’t.

Jumin went straight to the kitchen as soon as his jacket and shoes were off, not a word was spoken while he left. He went for a glass of wine you could only presume, he usually did once he got home. Normally you would get on his case about it, his more unhealthy drinking habits had been increasing as of late, but tonight wasn’t the time to nag him for it. You didn’t have the energy to fuel the fire more than you already had. 

You walked over to the living-room with a sigh, giving Elizabeth a slight pat before sprawling out on the couch. Your feet ached due to the heels from earlier tonight, but the relief of home was a welcomed feeling. You let your body sink into the cushions as you relaxed, at least the best you could for now.

You stared outside the window for a few moments, admiring the beauty of the city below. Your mind wandered just a bit. So many different types of people, most you’ll never meet, never see. But yet you wondered if maybe anyone out there knew how you felt right now. Maybe they could offer advice, a shoulder to cry on, something. Anything.

You closed your eyes, suddenly aware of how heavy they were getting, allowing your head fall back against the couch. It felt nice for a moment. 

You drew in a deep breath, your lungs stung as you pushed their limits.

It was peaceful. 

Jumin popping open a wine bottle in the kitchen caused you to flinch as you were brought back down to reality. The anxiety of the situation flooded back all at once, enough to make your stomach churn. 

The gentle still of before was gone in an instant.

You knew how all of this would play out. It truly felt rehearsed at this point.

He would press your buttons.

You would get angry.

He would give you the silent treatment as soon as you lost your cool.

You would apologize.

He would forgive you.

The two of you make up until the next time, then the cycle repeats.

You were almost numb to it at this point.

It used to be fun fighting with Jumin at first, if you could even call it that. It never lasted for too long, never too harsh either. You both would talk it out, laugh a little, then of course the make up afterwards was always amazing.

But now? There was nothing. No heated passion afterwards. No talking. No laughing.

Nothing.

Now you two could stay angry at each other for days on end until eventually one of you got tired of it, usually you. And someone halfheartedly apologizes, again, usually you. There was no communication either, you two just… go on like it never happened.

But it did happen.

It does happen.

And it’s getting harder and harder to pretend it doesn’t.

You heard footsteps coming from the kitchen, getting louder every second that passed. A soft sigh left your chest as you kept your eyes closed, maybe he would go away if you closed them tight enough, you could only hope.

It's Jumin. That’s your husband. You should never feel that way about him. But yet, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t.

You opened your eyes slowly and watched as he sat on the chair across from you, crossing his ankles in a somewhat sophisticated manner before slowly looking you up and down. The position you had wasn’t ladylike if you were being frank, your legs spread out despite the smaller dress you wore, arms sprawled out across the back of the couch, your posture slouched deep into the cushions. It felt a bit judgemental the way he observed you, maybe not, but right now you genuinely couldn’t tell.

“Feeling better?”

“Oh fuck off.”

You spat in return with a bitter laugh, god how you hated when he said shit like that during times like these. You knew that he knew you hated it too. Enter the pushing of buttons.

“I was simply asking a question. No need to get so worked up, my dear.”

He focused his attention on the dark liquid swirling within his glass while he spoke, putting emphasis on the pet name, feigning fondness. You narrowed your eyes in return.

“I feel great, especially good knowing that i’m not the one in the wrong here.”

While you beamed, he tensed.

You shouldn’t have said that. You knew you shouldn’t have the second it came out of your mouth.

“A lot of confidence coming from a woman who was acting like a little whore less than an hour ago.”

He suddenly met your gaze, your eyes widened as you felt anger begin to flood your chest. Jumin had never called you something like that before. 

“Excuse me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Your voice was laced with offense, rage, maybe a bit of hurt if he cared to listen closely enough. But inside you knew he didn’t. You had gotten up from your place on the couch so quickly it had made you light headed for a few moments.

“Apparently something since you feel the need to flirt with any man you can get you hands on whenever I'm not around.”

Jumin looked up at you, you looked back down at him.

You were silent for a moment.

Processing things, taking it all in. Trying your hardest not to lose your cool, you just knew once you lost it he would have the upper hand. Don't lose your cool MC, please, you mentally chided. You inhaled deeply, exhaling even deeper as you took a quick breather.

“Look. I know how hard you’ve been working on this project okay, I didn’t want to fuck it up by saying something wrong to the guy or anything, I didn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, Jumin.”

You pleaded almost pathetically. Here it goes. This is the part where you usually start to apologize.

“Please, dont pretend like you’ve ever had my best interest in mind.” He said with a bitter laugh.

His laugh stung.

It was the thing to finally push you over the edge.

“You know what, I really, really wish I didn’t. If you cared enough to pay attention you’d see i’m always putting your best interest first and it makes my life miserable, absolutely fucking miserable Jumin! I can't even speak to another man without you getting all insecure and pissed off about it, and guess what happens after that? You make me feel fucking insane when i’ve done nothing wrong!”

You shouted, vented, spilt things you’d never even said out loud before.

“I don't even want to go outside anymore because I just know i’m going to do something that’ll make you mad, and you know what? I’m the person who has to apologize for it. Every single time. I’m the person who ends up comforting you even after you spend hours making me feel like i’m some whore or a broken fucking toy you only keep around because you’re scared of being alone again. It’s always me, me! It’s never you! I am so, so fucking tired of yo- this.”

He met your eyes, they were wide with surprise, shock, maybe even anger, but honestly you didn’t have the energy to care about his feelings right now. You couldn’t. It’s all you ever do, and it’s taking its toll on you. It’s too much.

Your slip up felt heavy in your throat. An apology almost spilt from your lips, but you stopped yourself before it had.

“This. I am so tired of this.”

You corrected yourself much quieter this time. It sounded so desperate, so empty.

The both of you sat in heavy silence once more. Exhaustion was slowly creeping its way into your body, mentally and physically.

You regretted all of your words almost instantly.

They weren’t false. But that only made you feel worse.

“MC.”

He spoke up after a few moments.

“Jumin.”

You replied calmly.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

He genuinely seemed confused as he spoke, nervous, scared. On the inside you knew that he knew. He just wanted clarity, confirmation on what your words truly meant. It annoyed you, you had just explained exactly what you meant. But with a sigh, you held back your frustrations.

“Jumin. I am tired of this.”

You put emphasis on it, weakly pointing between the two of you. Eyes beginning to well with tears that you tried your hardest to shove away, your voice sounded so raw from yelling before, It hurt your own ears to listen to it.

A flash of guilt rapidly spread across his features, the glass in his hand shook slightly as he soaked in the true meaning behind your words. You were starting to feel guilty, he looked… scared. Your heart hurt looking at him in such a state right now.

His features softened as he met your eyes, he swallowed thickly. He looked like the old Jumin for a second again.

“MC, I’m–“

You cut him off with a shake of your head, a sad smile tugging at the corners of your mouth,

“You’re so sorry. I know. You always do that. You put me through all of this only to apologize the second I say something that makes you even the slightest bit nervous.”

He broke away from your gaze like it had burned, instead staring down at the red liquid resting within his glass. His jaw was clenched again.

When you first entered a relationship with Jumin, you knew the kind of person he was. And at the time, you really thought you were okay with that. 

He had a lot to work through, you knew.

You could help, you told yourself, you told him. You’d be there for him while he figured things out, it would get better, as long as you were there for him, he would get better.

And he did. For the first year at least.

But now, things were different. So different.

You would start to laugh at the cashier's jokes too loudly for his liking. He would grab your arm a little tighter than usual, a silent warning, and you would quickly stop.

If you entertained Zen’s antics a few times too many, he would give you the silent treatment. Eventually your relationship with Zen had suffered in the long run, it was just better for Jumin’s sake if you two didn’t talk anymore.

Is it better for your sake, MC?

You remember Zen asking, but you couldn’t answer him.

Now it’s gotten to the point where you can’t even look at another man for a few seconds too long or else it turns into another argument.

Sorry didn’t feel comforting anymore.

After all, nothing changed afterwards, so did he ever really mean it?

They were just empty words to you now.

He’ll grow out of it, right?

That’s what you wanted to believe at the beginning. But how long would it take before he did? If he ever did? You didn’t know if you’d be able to stick around long enough to find that out.

“Jumin I’m not sure… if this is…”

working anymore.

The words just wouldn’t leave your throat. But still, he knew. And you knew that he knew.

You took a few steps back with a sigh.

Something had triggered within your husband as he grasped the gravity of the situation, the implication behind your words, the consequences of his actions. He dropped the wine glass to the floor, making you jump from the awful sound it made as it shattered against the hardwood. 

“You can’t leave.”

His eyes were wide as his head shook frantically, his expression took you by surprise, you could see panic claw their way into his features.

“Jumin.”

“No. Don’t– Don't leave. I’m sorry, I'm so sorry.”

He was on you in an instant, you knew he stepped on the glass judging by the sound it made, but yet he didn’t even flinch. You didn’t have time to process anything before he was holding you tightly against his chest, you couldn’t go anywhere even if you tried to, the pressure hurt a little. 

“We’re fine.”

His voice was shaky as he comforted himself more than anyone, it had an uncertain edge to it, painfully reminding you back to the first time you had stayed in his apartment. It made you more than a little nervous.

“This won’t happen again. Just don't leave. Don't leave me.”

Jumin rambled uncharacteristically, apologizing relentlessly as he buried his face into the top of your hair, his hands coming to hold the back of your head softly, pulling you into his chest. The sudden shift in his mood was enough to give you whiplash, you felt so much, too fast. Confused, guilty, scared, numb. Surprise wasn’t one of them though, no. It’s always like this.

You could hear him swallow thickly while he shakily ran his fingers through your hair, his racing heartbeat filling all your senses. You couldn’t help but notice his embrace didn’t feel as comfortable as it once did, it was unfamiliar to you. 

Your silence only made him even more nervous.

He leaned down to kiss your cheek, your jawline, your temple, your forehead. You felt his tears press against your skin. He kissed your lips next, it was sloppy, panicked, filled with emotion. A sharp contrast to the Jumin you’ve been used to these past few months. Past few hours.

You didn’t react.

You didn’t kiss him back.

There was no spark to his touch like there should be. Like there used to be.

Your stomach was reeling, your ears were ringing. You suddenly buried your face into Jumin’s chest without warning, sobbing so hard that your head felt like it was about to burst from the pressure of your tears, your husband instead took this as a good sign. He hushed you with more of his frantic apologizes, but to be honest you weren’t really listening to him right now. Your mind only focused on one realization as you broke down within your husband's cold embrace.

“I love you.”

He whispered into your hair, you could tell by his tone that he really did mean it too. He cried with you even. Something he’d only done a few times in the relationship before.

You knew he did. You knew deep down, he loved you. 

All you could offer in return was a nod. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move. Just nod. 

You realized something in that moment. 

You weren’t able to say I love you back to your husband anymore.

[hrina]

hi 🥰 so i recently hit 20k followers which is crazy tbh. in honour of reaching that milestone, i was thinking of doing a fic celebration instead of just a regular follow forever. so here i am hehehehe

underneath the cut, i’ve come up with 40 prompts. feel free to choose a prompt that inspires u and write a little something based on it. here are a few tidbits of information if ur interested in participating:

- anyone can take part in this. we don’t have to be mutuals or anything like that! - u can pick multiple prompts if u want! go crazy lol - with that being said, u can also come up with ur own if none of mine inspire u! because lets face it this is my first time doing this so they probably aren’t that great sfjsfnsjfsnfs - i think i’ll make the minimum word count 500 words, just to keep things simple. there will be no maximum word count tho, so if u wanna write a longer piece, go ahead! - there’s no due date for this! writing under pressure can be stressful and i don’t wanna add any more anxiety to ur lives lol, so take all the time u need! - all genres of writing are accepted! fluff, angst, smut, etc. - feel free to tag me in ur work! and also, use the tag #majorharry20k bc that’s what i’ll be tracking to keep up with any submissions :) - since the tags are kinda fucked up on tumblr dot com, please don’t hesitate to send ur piece to me via DM as well if u want! i wanna make sure i catch everything, that way i can reblog it with my thoughts and praises hehe 💌

also, i won’t be accepting anything involving cheating, abuse, or any other unethical tropes. this is meant to be a fun challenge so let’s keep it that way!

i’m super excited, and i hope that u guys are interested in taking part if u have the time! thanks again for following me and being my pals, it means the world <3

also: thanks to @harryforbode​ for the banner! its super cute em

1.    “That is by far the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

2.    “Are you going to release me anytime soon, or…?”

3.    “Our water bill is going to be through the roof after this.”

4.    “You’re lying. I can tell when you’re looking at me like that.”

5.    “What part of ‘we broke up’ don’t you understand?”

6.    “Should—should we kiss?”

7.    “Can you please just do this one thing for me?”

8.    “Open up.”

9.    “They don’t know, and I’d like to keep it that way for a little while longer.”

10.  “Not now. We’re in public.”

11.  “Found it in your drawer. Why were you hiding it from me?”

12.  “Well, don’t stop on my account.”

13.  “Either say what you came here to say or leave.”

14.  “What’s in the bag?”

15.  “Fuck—what should we do?”

16.  “You can’t keep doing this to me. It’s not fair.”

17.  “I know what I want.”

18.  “This song always makes me…you know.”

19.  “Are you being sincere, or is this just another one of your lies?”

20.  “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

21.  “Can you just shut up for one second?”

22.  “I don’t know—I just didn’t feel that spark.”

23.  “Great. I’m soaked.”

24.  “This won’t work unless you stay still.”

25.  “How much do I owe you?”

26.  “Pay attention to me.”

27.  “Your hands are soft.”

28.  “Do you love me?”

29.  “Stop looking at me like that.”

30.  “You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.”

31.  “Well, maybe I don’t want to just be your friend.”

32.  “How about you get off my dick?”

33.  “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

34.  “You’re nothing like him.”

35.  “If you ever tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you.”

36.  “I know you’re busy, but…can we talk?”

37.  “Do you want to play a game?”

38.  “I’m pretty good at minding my own business. You should try it sometime.”

39.  “What does it feel like?”

40.  “Cover up, please.”

[aellynera]

I was wondering if you could write something with Poe or Santi or Oberyn (or all three?) and how they react if their partner gets scared easily by people or their own thoughts? Like their paranoid about people hurting them sort of thing? Sorry if it's weird, it's just I recently watched The Crow for the first (and last) time and my anxiety just went through the roof and added to the feeling of fear I feel almost every day... Basically how would those characters react if their partner didn't feel safe a lot of the time? Sorry if its a bit much, its OK if you don't want to write it. You seem like a really cool person and I hope you're staying safe :)

Hello Anon! So I wrote something with Poe, he was the first that came to mind and I just sort of ran with it. I hope it’s somewhat the thing you were looking for and that you like it. (I may do the others in the future because tbh I really liked this idea. I am sorry the movie made you feel unsafe, though. It’s a completely valid feeling to have but it’s never fun.)

Thank you for being so sweet. Make sure you’re staying safe as well, lovely! 💜

Warnings: slight paranoia, darkish thoughts, panic/anxiety symptoms, self doubt

Sometimes you think Poe Dameron has a sixth sense, and maybe he does. He did grow up climbing a Force tree, after all.

Your struggles with anxiety are not new; you have dealt with these feelings since you were a child. Most adults at the time, and still to this day if you’re being honest and even though you’re an adult yourself, tell you there’s no reason to worry so much about things. No reason to feel nervous. No point in being so fearful. Nothing to be scared of.

They lie.

You can think of several things off the top of your head. The First Order, for starters. Yes, you’d won the war, but had you really eliminated the threat? There had to be sympathizers, had to sects out there that would try to reorganize and dig their malevolent fingers into the galaxy’s freedom and tear it to shreds - again. The Emperor himself had come back, and that wasn’t nothing, after all.

Then there was the way everyone looked at you. Judging you. Giving you those looks, the ones everyone told you were innocent, harmless, but you knew they weren’t. Their eyes, everyone’s eyes, were always on you, all the time. You had to be perfect, all the time, under those stares. That wasn’t nothing.

And how did anyone know that there wasn’t a sympathizer here? Someone who was just waiting to pull the ground out from under your feet and send you into a free fall? That was a reason.

And this planet. Gods, this planet was so hot. On good day it was unacceptable and on a bad day - most days - it was intolerable and--

You are only dimly aware of the clanging that echoes through the hangar as your hands clench and you drop your wrench to the ground. Several other people look up from where they’re doing maintenance on their own ships - those eyes - and your own slam shut.

“Hey,” a soft voice calls from behind you. “I’m going to touch your back and your arm, okay?”

Poe. Where did he come from? You swore that literally only a second ago you’d seen him across the hangar, working on his X-wing, and now he was nearby, almost like he knew.

You can barely nod in response, but you feel one of his hands on the small of your back, and his other closes softly over your fists that were clutching at your chest. He leads you behind a stack of supply crates, shielding you from all those curious, staring eyes. Gods bless him.

Once you’re out of sight, Poe pulls you close to his chest and folds you in his arms.

“You’re safe here,” he whispers into your hair.

You almost want to argue with him. You almost do. But you’ve known each other long enough by now that you know what he means.

Poe never tells you that you’re being silly, or overreacting, that there’s no reason to feel the way you do. He doesn’t tell you it will all be okay and you have nothing to worry about. He doesn’t scold you, doesn’t talk down to you, doesn’t tell you that you’re wrong. He’s had his own traumas, and now he’s trying to make sense and order in the whole free galaxy, but he never acts like your feelings are less than.

When he says you’re safe here, you know he literally means right there, right now, in his arms.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks.

You shake your head firmly.

“Okay,” he says, still into your hair, “it’s okay. I’m always here if you want to.”

He never pushes you. He just holds you.

You still don’t know how he got to you without you ever saying a word. It’s almost like he knew, he could feel, that you needed him before you knew it yourself. Yeah, maybe he totally had a sixth sense.

Eventually you’ll tell him. It will be the same thing you’ve told him a thousand times before. And like the thousand times before, Poe will listen, and understand, and talk with you and not at you and when your brain signals your mouth to tell him that you want to believe him but how can you be sure that he’s telling the truth, he will just hold you and promise and reassure that he will be there for you.

And maybe kiss you, if you’ll let him.

But for now, you just hold tightly to him, hidden behind the crates, safe in his arms.

[hotdogrin]

hello!!! i've just seen your blog and i'm super interested to join your matchups, if its not too troublesome for you i'd love to send one in!

i'd love a male character from the jjk and haikyuu fandoms please!

i'm an infp-t, so i'm basically pretty introverted and am also sometimes overwhelmed with emotions 😅 at first glance i come across as extremely social and friendly, but if you actually got to know me i'm a real loner, and i don't really like to hang out with anyone unless i'm close to them.

i love eating, reading books and playing sports too. if i wanted an ideal kind of date, i'd love an amusement park kind of date hehe (makes me smile thinking about it tbh) i love dressing up pretty and receiving compliments too,,,literally if anyone praises me or gives me food it's just heart eyes @ them for a good few days 😂😂

i'd say my weaknesses are my social anxiety and procrastination 💀💀 like i once procrastinated on a 3k word essay and only started writing it out one day before the deadline 😭😭 another is that i really easily jealous and detachable, if someone doesn't pay attention to me i would literally think they hate me and i'd just leave lmao 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

honestly i can think of any more, haha - so i'll leave this as it is. thanks so much for taking the time out of your day to match me up, its seriously such a serotonin booster for me and i really appreciate you doing it ❤❤ of course, if you're too swamped up feel free to delete hehe, no hard feelings!

thanks so much once again and i hope you have a great day! 💗💗

A/N: the procrastination bro I feel that my adhd is so bad one time I left a ten page anthropology paper until 11 pm the night before it was due I was STRESSING and it didn’t help that my roommate did the same thing but with her econ paper so the negative energy in our room was through the roof

For Haikyuu I match you with…

Akaashi Keiji!

- I feel like you guys are similar in how you seem super sociable at first but are actually super introverted, like homie hangs out with bokuto if i didn’t know him I would assume he is as wild as bo

- Super willing to help you focus on writing and getting work done before deadlines, as an editor (in time skip I mean) he definitely understands the stress of beating deadlines

- Would probably try and teach you how to play volleyball (if you don’t already know how to play) and will practice passing and serves with you

For Jujutsu Kaisen I match you with…

Megumi Fushiguro!

- Very similar to Akaashi with how introverted he is, and with how he hangs out with Yuuji, the human personification of the sun (tbh the more I think ab it Megumi and Akaashi are pretty similar I’m gonna go check their mbti types once I finish this)

- Would be happy to bring you to carnivals and amusement parks, would make it his personal mission to win you whatever prize you want at the booths

- Also enjoys one on one time with you from the comfort of your own homes, will teach you how to make Yuuji’s meatballs for an at home dinner date

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Little Things in Life - 4

Warnings: cheating, non-consent sex (series); not the sex you’re expecting but it’s the sex you get.

This is dark!Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Series Summary: Your suburban life begins to show cracks and your next door neighbour, Steve Rogers, seems intent on shattering what’s left.

Note: So I didn’t write at all yesterday. Dunno if I will today. My anxiety’s through the roof and I’m sorry to everyone waiting on different things. I see the asks and I’m doing my best. TBH I’m not in the greatest head space but I have up to part 5 done on this. Thanks to everyone for their feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Based on this drabble

Your escape from the garage was uneventful. You beat Steve in the fourth match and excused yourself to the washroom. You hid in there for some time. You stared in the mirror at your glossy eyes. You didn’t look like yourself. You didn’t feel like yourself.

You were careful to avoid Steve for the rest of the night. He didn’t make it easy. Neither did Sharon. She found you in the beach chair staring at the water, a perfect excuse for her husband to get closer. Her husband.

Had you encouraged Steve without knowing? Been too friendly? Well, you would never expect the golden saviour of New York to betray his own wife. His perfect wife! Her blond hair, her long legs, her crystalline eyes. She was his match in everything and he could just do that. And what did you do but whine a little bit?

You found your husband among the crowd and cringed. He was cheating on you. And you just sat there and did nothing. Fucking his boss! Never home to help with Kayla; the most you could get out of him when he was was twenty minutes of distraction. Enough to do the dishes or vacuum the living room. You hated him. But you still loved him.

You dragged Logan home just after midnight. He was worse off than you. You barely got him up the stairs as he slung himself over your shoulder. He was heavy. He flopped face first into bed, sprawled diagonal across it. You turned his head over the edge and set a bucket beside him.

You slept on the couch. Twenty minutes before you awoke with vertigo and stumbled your way to the bathroom to spill your guts. It burned terribly and you felt as if your chest would collapse with each wretch. You fell back onto the cushions with a grunt and sank into an alcohol-laced slumber.

You woke to a nail in your skull. You sat up and it pushed deeper. You felt awful. Dirty. You looked in on Logan, snoring loudly into the pillow. You showered with a bottle of Tylenol and forced down a tall glass of filtered water. Your phone nearly burst your eardrums as it rang and you picked it up frantically before your head began to buzz again.

It was your mother. She was on her way to the McDonald’s in town. She wanted to take Kayla to the play place. You offered to meet her there to relieve her of her babysitting shift. You drove with sunglasses on and the radio off.

You were thankful when you arrived to Kayla already lost in the plastic tubes. You sat with your mother who shoved a mcmuffin in your direction. You took a gulp of coffee and scarfed down the sandwich.

“Jeez, this reminds me of your college days,” Your mother chided. “Sweats, sunglasses… wild night?”

“Long week,” You groaned and leaned on your elbow as you looked over at the playplace. “How was she?”

“An angel. As usual.” She said. “She was telling me about her friend Steve.”

“Our neighbour,” You mumbled into your coffee. “He’s… nice to her.”

“And you?” Your mother prodded.

You were silent as you set down your cup. You pushed up your sunglasses and rubbed away the dampness around your eyes with your knuckles. You’d not even known you were crying.

“What is it?” She reached across the table.

“Logan…” You sniffed. “He’s sleeping with his boss.”

“No,” Your mother’s breath wisped out of her. “Oh, honey.”

“I saw them a couple days ago and… I don’t know what to do. What to say.” You flipped your glasses back down. “I’m fucking pissed but I’m so fucking terrified.”

“How could he--” You mother huffed. “You know what I would do.”

“Yeah, mum,” You scoffed. “A kick in the balls?”

“And more,” She sneered. “Say the word and I’m going over right now and knocking him--”

“No, no,” You raised your hand. “I’ll… handle it. I just… I’m processing.”

You played with the string of your sweats as you crossed your legs. You thought of Steve and the pool table. You should tell her, but what would you say? You let another man finger you because you were mad at your husband? Two wrongs...

“You know, the guest room’s always open.” Your mother said. “For you and Kayla.”

“Kayla,” You uttered. “I couldn’t… you think he’d take her from me.”

“And what? Sounds to me like he’s so busy messing around, he doesn’t have time for either of you.” She rolled her eyes. “She told me he’s never home. That he’s always on his phone.”

“She’s too honest for her own good,” You shook your head. “Too innocent. I don’t know if I could put her through that.”

“And let her live with festering resent?” Your mother argued. “Look, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but you can’t do nothing.”

“I know,” You emptied your coffee and picked up a cold hash brown. “Just… don’t say anything.”

“To who?” She asked. “My walls.”

🏠

You pulled up to the house as Kayla played with the little elephant she’d gotten with her meal. As you climbed out and unbuckled her, you spied a familiar figure from your peripheral. You ignored it as you grabbed her bag and helped her out onto the pavement. You closed the door as you tried to keep your daughter on the other side of you.

“Steve!” Kayla peeked past you and waved to your neighbour.

“Kayla, come on,” You tried to nudge her up the walk but Steve was already on his way across the street.

“Hey, you guys,” You turned to him as Kayla ran forward to hug his leg. “Early morning. Surprised you made it past the front door.”

“Yeah,” You kept your eyes averted behind your shades. “Kayla, come on. We gotta go.”

“What’s the plan for today?” Steve asked as you reached for your daughter.

“Family time,” You said tersely. 

“Mommy said I can paint butterflies on my wall!” Kayla said.

“Ooh, that sounds fun,” He smiled but barely looked at the girl. His eyes were set on you. 

“Kayla,” You pulled her towards the door and unlocked it. “Your father’s upstairs. Go wake him up. I’ll be in in just a second.”

“But I wanna talk to Steve,” She argued.

“Go inside,” You opened the door and waved her in. “You go right upstairs and get your dad.”

She pouted but did as you said. You watch her amble up the carpeted stairs and you turned back to Steve as you heard her calling to Logan. You closed the door and stormed back towards him.

“Look, what happened last night was wrong and I never want to talk about it again,” You hissed. “And… I don’t want to talk to you.”

He smiled and shook his head.

“As far as I could tell you liked it. Wanted it.” He crossed his arms. “You’re just too afraid to admit it.”

“I have a husband.” You snarled.

“Who’d rather fuck some crusty lady in a pants suit than you,” He challenged.

“You have a wife. A newborn.” You scowled. 

“I’ve learned a lot of things since I woke up in a whole new century. New lingo.” He tilted his head. “I’m sure you know what a ‘trophy wife’ is.”

“Is that what she is? Maybe you should tell her that.”

“Me and Sharon look good for the public. And for work. Suits never would’ve let me marry a civilian. We make a great little family.” He shrugged. “I gave her a baby. She got what she wanted and so did SHIELD.”

“I don’t believe you,” You said.

“I don’t care if you do. Sharon’s going back within the year. She misses the field. She misses a certain intelligence officer.” Steve said coolly. “It won’t be long before… well.”

“Listen, stay away from me.” You backed away from him. “I have enough going on.” You turned and grasped the door handle, paused as you looked back at him. “I can’t believe you. I really thought you were someone else.”

“Hey, I never said the propaganda wasn’t effective,” He winked. “I’ll see you around.”

You pushed inside and quickly closed the door. You pulled back the narrow curtain to look out through the frosted glass of the door. Steve’s hazy figure lingered until finally he retreated. Kayla’s voice drew you away.

“Mommy,” She called down the stairs. “Daddy’s sick.”

🏠

Logan was in bed for most of the day “recovering”. You left him to his sulking and helped Kayla paint her butterflies. The few times you passed by the room, you peeked through the small space between the door and the frame. He had his phone out. You could guess who he was texting. If you asked, he’d say work and it wouldn’t be an all out lie.

You put Kayla to bed and spent an hour in the living room watching re-runs before you found the nerve to go upstairs. Logan had a video running on his phone about homemade axes or some nonsense. You changed into a long tee and climbed into bed. You turned your back to him and closed your eyes.

“Sorry, babe,” He tickled your spine. “I drank way too much yesterday.”

“Mhmm,” You grumbled.

“You mad?” He asked.

“No,” You lied. “Hungover.”

“I should’ve helped with Kayla today,” He moped.

“So why didn’t you?” You snapped.

“You are mad.” He said.

Not about that, you thought. 

“I’m just tired.” You said.

“Next weekend, we’ll do something with Kayla together.” He coaxed. “Take her to the aquarium. Oh, and Steve texted me. Him and Sharon want us to come over for dinner on Thursday. I told him I’d try to move some things around at work.”

“Thursday,” You repeated. “Alright.”

“You sure you’re okay?” His hand strayed to your hip. 

“I just need to sleep it off,” You tapped his hand. “I’m fine.”

🏠

You woke up not shortly after you fell asleep. It was dark and the bed next to you was empty. You sat up and checked the time. It wasn’t even one in the morning. A slat of light escaped from your attached bathroom and you threw your legs over the edge of the mattress.

You tiptoed to the door and peered in. Logan was naked before the mirror as he held up his phone to take a picture. You wanted to scoff at how he flexed. He wasn’t as fit as he used to be, but neither were you. He snapped the pic and sent it with a devious grin. You saw his screen flash with a response shortly after. 

You felt the air rush out of you but could only back away and slink back to bed. It was ten minutes before he returned. He crawled under the blanket and pressed himself to your back. He was hard. His hand tickled your thigh and he played with the hem of your tee shirt.

“Babe,” He cooed gently. “Babe…” He continued as until you pretended to stir. “I forgot to tell you how great you looked yesterday in those shorts.”

“Logan, it’s late,” You grumbled but his hand brushed along your small patch of hair.

“Come on, babe,” He purred as he nuzzled the back of your neck. “It’s been… a while.”

You were quiet as he poked his fingers down and forced them between your legs. You flinched as he pushed on your clit.

“Babe,” He said again.

“Mmm,” You mumbled.

He pushed against you again and you sighed. You arched into him and let him lift your leg. He prodded your entrance and impaled you slowly. It was painful as you were barely aroused. You just wanted to be done with it. You knew he didn’t want you; he’d just gotten himself riled up and needed a release.

When he was at his limit, he gasped. His fingers slid off your clit as he began to thrust and he was toying with the crook of your leg rather than any part of your cunt. You grabbed the corner of your pillow and turned your face into it. He moved faster and faster as he quickly approached his peek.

You held back the tears as he jolted your entire body. You felt the warmth burst inside of you as he gave a pathetic moan. He spasmed a few times and slipped out of you. He rolled onto his back and gave your ass a tap.

“Mmm,” He hummed. “That was good.”

“Y-yeah,” You carefully shimmied to the edge. “I gotta go clean up.”

“Dirty girl,” He purred and you quickly fled to the bathroom, his cum dripping down your thighs.

You closed the door and sat on the toilet. You wiped yourself clean with tissue and let out the pressure which had built in your bladder. Finished, you remained as you were. You hung your head and covered your mouth with your hand as you began to cry. You were such a coward.

[starlightxsvt]

Sunrises || Choi Seungcheol au

Pairing: Seungcheol x Female reader

Genre: apocalypse au, slice of life (?), angst, kinda fluff, some action

Warning: zombies, death and stuffs

"Thank you for saving me that day." You murmur to the male sittig next to you.

Seungcheol, in return says nothing, focusing on peeling the apple in his hand.

It was the third day after he saved you and gave you a place to stay. The man didn't offer his name or any other information - though you figured it out from craved wood that hung on his room's door saying, 'Seungcheol's room' - neither asked yours but you enlightened him with it. He doesn't talk much and doesn't like to be talked much but you kept your mouth open anyway.

It was about two months since the strange virus spread and begun the apocalypse and you were lucky enough to have stumbled upon Seungcheol.

"I really mean it." You whisper. "I'm new in this place. Believe it or not but I moved here literally a few days before the apocalypse started."

You didn't get any response to that either.

"Do you have any family? I don't. My mother died long ago and my father's an addict so I basically ran from him."

More silence.

You take in his features which are too concentrated on peeling the apple. His brows were knit to a frown and he chewed on his lower  plump lip.

You swallow, "Who's Sunghoon?" You know you probably shouldn't have asked the question but curiosity got the best of you. You saw the name hanging on one of the rooms which was apparently locked.

He looks up at you, an angry look on his face. "I swear to any higher being up there, if you don't shut your mouth I am going to feed you to the corpses by myself." He stands up murmuring, "This is why I don't like helping people." 

You watch his retreating figure walk inside the house and you sigh, leaning against the apple tree and watching the sunset.

A week later

You thanked the heavens everyday for making you stumble upon a guy who's a farmer. Seungcheol had his own produce, a small field of rice and corns and a few apple and lemon trees. It was safe to say these were more than enough in a time like this.

The electricity is unavailable most of the time but it takes some surprise visits every few days for a few hours. That's when you and Seungcheol wash up and store water.

Your days go by rather quickly thanks to the neat system Seungcheol seems to have established. He had things run so smoothly that it was pretty unbelievable the world was going through an apocalypse right now. You help him around the house, cleaning things up, watering the crops and such. He had his own rules - don't waste water or tissues, don't eat too much, don't talk too much. You tried to follow them at your best but you couldn't stop yourself from starting a little conversation more often that which were only met with silence or threats. But so far, Seungcheol was a guy nice enough and you counted your blessings for meeting him.

A few more days later

When you ran from your place you only took your female necessities. Those were dumb things compared to others who ran away with guns and foods.

You sat in the guest room Seungcheol offered you, thinking about what you were gonna do after these necessities were finished.

Suddenly Seungcheol appears knocking on your door before entering. You turn to look at him as he takes a seat. "We'll be heading out tomorrow."

"Huh?"

"There's a super shop a mile away from here. We're going there."

"Why?"

"Why do you think, smartass? We need to stock up on tissue paper and dry foods. I visited there a couple times after the apocalypse started. Apparently the government and NGO's provide foods and stuffs there for the survivors out here."

"Really?Then where are they? We need to find them. They probably built a shelter, we can go live there."

"Do you think it's that simple?"

"Huh?"

Seungcheol sighs. "They are moving in their own pace, okay? The shelters are probably full now with survivors. When their capacity increases they'll let us know. I have a friend who works at the NGO. If he's okay he'll come for me."

"When was the last time you spoke with him?"

"On the day of the breakout."

"I see."

"Prepare yourself for tomorrow. Since you are living in my place, you are coming with me." He stands up to leave.

"I'm not a wuss, you know." You roll your eyes.

"We'll see."

"Yea. And you know, it didn't hurt to speak with me! We could talk more often Mr. Grumpy!" You call after him.

"Shut up."

The next day

"Listen carefully, don't waste anytime. Just grab the things you need and walk into the car." Seungcheol says parking the car in front of the convenience store.

You nod and watch him load his gun and tuck it behind him.

The store is a mess. Broken pieces and bits of metals everywhere. You both walk in and look for the things you came for. Luck seems to be on your side as you find a couple of dry food packets, some toilet papers and some pads -though they are not the best quality, you have to make do with these. You quickly put them on the tote bag you brought with yourself and turned around.

Seungcheol was on the opposite Isle looking through selves for God knows what. You walk out to the front of the store and see and notice taped there.

Food will be supplied here every week along with other necessities. If you are a survivor please hang in there. Once we manage more accommodation, we will come for you. Regarding the infected, our research says they are deaf, so please use that to your advantage.

You turn around to tell Seungcheol about this but instead you meet the eyes of a corpse. It stands there, a mess of blood and gunk as your soul leaves your body.

It approaches you, making garbled sounds and you take back a few steps. From behind him you see Seungcheol approaching will a huge piece of metal rod.

The corpse doesn't turn back to the noises Seungcheol's feet makes while approaching you through the mess, instead it's focus is solely on you, ready to devour. They're really deaf, huh. It opens its mouth ready to chunk a piece of your body when Seungcheol hits him in the head and bangs a couple more times to make sure it's immobile.

"Quick, get in the car. More of them might be around here."

You two dash back to the car, carrying your goods and he starts the car quickly. You look behind to see more of the corpses appearing from around the store. Dusk was approaching soon which meant the corpses will be more alive and ferocious.

The car speeds through the empty road as you clutch onto your tote bag. "Did you know they were deaf?"

"You didn't?" He throws at you. You roll your eyes at him.

"Thanks for saving me again."

"Maybe next time I won't."

Another couple weeks or so later

"I'm going to the supermarket."

"At this hour? It's almost dusk. Are you crazy?"

You watch as Seungcheol puts on the necessary protection on his arms and legs and checks his gun.

"They people from NGO deliver foods during this time since there is no survivors out at this hour. I'm gonna go there and try to meet the delivery guy. Also I need to refill my car."

"Why?"

"To pass a message."

"To your friend who works at the NGO?"

"Yes. I need to let him know that I'm alive. Then he'll come for me."

"What if he's dead?"

Seungcheol says nothing. You forbid him to leaves a few more times but he completely ignores your pleas saying he has to take a  chance. Before he is out the door, he hands you his gun. "Keep this with you. Until now, they corpses have never been around here so just stay inside the house and you'll be safe. I don't know if you have your memories after you becoming a corpse but if you see me coming here looking like one of them, shoot me."

What? You swallow as your heart tugs.

"Stop talking like that. You don't need to leave. We've plenty of food. We'll get by. Don't do this Seungcheol."

"Remember what I said." He speaks, ignoring you and turns around.

"Wait." You call, tears pooling in your eyes. "At least take the gun with you. You'll need it more than me. Besides I dont even know how to use it."

Seungcheol looks at you for a beat before taking a gun and giving you a small smile - the first one he ever gave you.

You watch him leave as the sky turn in hues of purple and black.

You spend a restless night, sitting in your room watching the sky and thinking about Seungcheol. You think of how he opened up a bit more in the last few days and the moments you shared.

Sunghoon was my brother. He was in the military. We were outside, celebrating his discharge when the infection spread. The corpses got him while he was trying to save me. I failed him.

I waited for him for a long time, thinking he'd come back. He didn't.

Y/n, if I don't return by dawn don't wait for me.

As the night passed anxiety got the best of you. This is it. I lost him. He's gone. I'll have to survive now, alone.

You were about to have a break down as you saw the first streak of light spread through the sky. You walked to the roof of his farmhouse watching the colors in the sky. You start to accept the fact that you're alone from now on. That is until you see Seungcheol's jeep approaching towards the house.

You held your breath and didn't move your position, waiting to see him come out.

You thought sunsets were pretty until you saw Seungcheol's tired figure getting out of the jeep, his eyes meeting yours and flashing a smile, the brightest one probably, at the crack of dawn.

Sunrises were pretty too. Even prettier perhaps.

A/N: Tbh I wasn't so confident in this one but oh well, here it is. Also thank you for loving my previous work, it really means a lot. As for this one, if it doesn't flop, maybe I'll write a part 2 👀.Anyway thanks again! 💖

[sinkix]

♡ Haikyuu!!│Boys as your Roommate HC’s Pt.2│Ft. Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma & Kageyama ♡

Since the last one did well I decided to do another 2am shit-post consisting of my bby HQ bois as your roommate so I’m v sorry if it’s messy and seems like rambling but honestly what did u expect. <(￣︶￣)> The more I write these the more I just want to summon satan and make them come to life man I love them sm.

You can find Pt. 1 here

E N J O Y ~ <3

◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒ ◃:✮.❃⭒

Kuroo:

So. Damn. Annoying

But in like, the best way possible??

Constantly teases and irritates you while cooking or when it’s your turn to do the chores.

“(Y/N)-kuuun I think you missed a spot”

Proceeds to show swabbed finger with the tiniest speck of dust on it with the biggest shit eating grin he can muster

You have constant competitions who can clean more thoroughly and rip into each other as a result.

I mean there’s worse things to compete over I suppose??

He likes to make it a habit of waking you up by throwing his HUGE ASS BODY ON TO THE BED IF YOU OVERSLEEP.

WHOLE BED JUST CREAKS AND DIPS UNDER HIS WEIGHT.

Wraps his arm around you and gives amazing cuddles tho so its worth it

Borderline suffocating you though just so you get up.

Also, don’t wake Kuroo when he’s had only a few hours rest

just, don’t. If you value your safety.

Last time you tried to haul him out of bed in this state he threw a pillow at you and BITCH WENT TO GRAB THE ALARM CLOCK NEXT but u dashed out the room before he could lob it. 

Speaking of which, pillow fights. 

so many.

 Y’all are always throwing random stuff at each other just to startle one another

You both make a conscious effort NOT to aim for the head though so I guess its ok???

The aroma of coffee always greets you in the morning and it’s become hella comforting since you’ve just come to associate that smell with him.

His bed head is 1000x more extreme in the morning which you tease him relentlessly for and def has bags under his eyes but it looks cute.

sleep deprivation but make it chic.

He is much more of a night owl i’m making it canon idc - however usually has to sleep early due to club activities starting first thing in the morning.

He wakes up especially early because he knows he not only has to haul himself up at an ungodly hour but Kenma as well since he NEVER gets up on time otherwise.

Kenma lives a few blocks down from you guys and you often kick it as a three.

Sometimes he stays over just to save the extra effort of Kuroo going to his place.

It’s always v chill with the three of you as you get on really well and just play mario kart till 2am.

which again, big mistake. They end up nearly being late to practise so it’s kinda counter productive lmao

worth it though.

Kuroo is a salty loser js and will definitely wave his arms in front of you or shove his ass in your face to block the screen so he can overtake you.

Sometimes forces you to go on early morning runs with him but it’s actually really nice since you watch the sunrise together while sitting for a water break in an empty field

Almost poetic if it wasn’t for the constant teasing and bickering like an old married couple.

Kenma is VERY thankful you have become his new victim for those morning run routines.

Bokuto:

SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS EVERY DAY

MY GOD

Actually pretty quiet in the morning?? Like the lil owl is just waking up so he usually just mumbles a good-morning and rubs his eyes its so damn cute

Usually pretty good about getting up on time but some days he needs a kick up the backside to get him out of bed.

He fully made you drag him out of the covers once before he was even willing to entertain the idea of getting up.

those 30 seconds felt like a 30 minute workout since he is so HEAVY.

I feel sorry for the neighbours on that day tbh

“Bokuto-san wake up.” 

“NNNgg-aaagGGHHHHH AGGAAASHIII”

“It’s (Y/N) you dumbass G E T U P”

You aren’t safe for long though because ONCE HE’S AWAKE HOMEBOY IS RARING TO GO.

Frequently makes y’all pancakes for breakfast with a frilly pink ‘best chef’ apron on and it’s fucking hysterical. 

actually has several aprons and one of them has a stock image of abs printed onto the front.

Pancakes is the only thing Bokuto is competent at so don’t expect anything else without the kitchen combusting

His pancakes are SO damn good tho like bitch who taught you to flip like dat.

Does a lil shimmy with his body and throws it back each time he flips so it basically aggregates as a performance too since hes so extra

One time the pancake landed on the floor and he was in emo mode for a whole day LMAOOO

boy was spiking while mourning the fallen soldier.

Akaashi was so confused as to why he walked into practise in such a solemn mood.

had to stifle his laughter once you told him the reason.

For some reason you have this tradition to play board games on a Friday night

Obvs you have to let him win and be a cocky ass bc otherwise he will be sad until the next morning.

sis will be in a slump while brushing his teeth over losing a game of monopoly.

Doesn’t expect you to come to practise with him but is always grinning like a dork the whole way there when you accompany him.

His game is always A1 on those days so Akaashi is eternally grateful.

Often tries to make you go to the gym with him SINCE Y’ALL BEST BELIEVE BOKUTO BABY AIN’T SKIPPIN LEG DAY.

Actually a really good workout partner though, he’s so hype and encouraging.

Grocery shopping is a nightmare, y’all come back with 3x as much as what was on the list while Bokuto just looks really sheepish and guilty like a dog who shredded up the sofa.

Kageyama:

Your conversations are very minimal at first until he adjusts to living with you.

Hella private with his living space and his bedroom

You always suspected he’s got some like weird alien cult meeting from Fiji going on in there with how shady he acts sometimes.

After a while though he’s pretty chill and doesn’t mind TOO much when you invade his personal space or go through his stuff.

I’d still be careful though an angry Kags is not a pleasant one.

He’s a minimalist, so if you ever get decorating done it’s usually you that takes the reigns since as long as it’s got a roof, a stove, a bathroom and a bed he could literally not give a fuck.

Unexpectedly easy to please over the smallest things, make a meal for him after a long day of practise and it’ll be hard for him to contain an appreciative smile.

Do NOT pull him up on it though bc he will get defensive 

just embrace it bro you won’t see it often.

V good at getting up on time and hella quiet in the morning when going about his routine, it’s easy to forget he’s in the house a times so at least he’s considerate.

Honestly doesn’t care whether you come to practise or not it makes no difference to him. Though the closer you both get he will sometimes wait for the moment you walk through the door and mentally slap himself for doing so.

Sometimes plays music in his room but it’s always really quiet and hard to decipher unless you press your ear up against the door.

The boi plays some BOPS though which is really surprising???

Usually takes charge of stuff like grocery shopping, cleaning etc. 

Control freak™️ here to assist your household services. 

He’s pretty dense though with these matters and needs some guidance at times lmao

Will not get the item on your list unless you CLEARLY SPECIFY AND INCLUDE THE WHOLE DAMN TITLE OF THE ITEM

You’re surprised he doesn’t request you illustrate the fucking bar code.

In the end you sometimes end up caving and just either going with him or going in his place.

Once he warms up to you y’all like cracking little jokes at each other and pulling one another’s leg.

if you get up even the slightest bit late he’ll just throw a lil “good afternoon” with a smirk on his face.

Sometimes he will come and chill with you on the couch to binge watch shows and it’s just a really relaxed atmosphere.

has really good taste in movies and series??

Honestly just a hella respectful roommate as long as you respect him and his privacy in return.

You once stuck his knee-pads in the washing machine on a high temp and they came out ready to fit a 6 year old.

You still suspect he holds a grudge to this day.

He also tried to give them to Hinata and never have you seen him more genuinely offended lmao.

Kenma:

The pair of you always end up oversleeping and it’s a genuine problem ur the definition of a disaster duo.

If it wasn’t for Kuroo strolling into your sleeping quarters most mornings you guys would sleep till the suns ready to set again.

Bless up Kuroo.

Constant video game marathons and y’all always compete to top each others time

It’s basically just the speed-run side of YouTube but under one roof.

Cannot and will not cook he is too LAZY for that.

Only thing he will do is stick an apple pie in the oven.

He’s courteous though he leaves you like,,, a 1/8th slice

smh.

You mostly get take-out or you’re the one that ends up cooking.

Veeryyyyy quiet, only noise in the household is the occasional snicker or lil conversation.

he has such a soothing voice hnnnnnnnnnggggg

The only time it’s remotely loud is when you play video games but even then the volume is quite low.

You usually end up crashing in his room from playing games till the crack of dawn and Kuroo frequently scolds the two of you.

you don’t listen though lmao.

For some reason you both end up in a hugging position when you wake up and neither of you have addressed it.

Except for the sus side eye look Kuroo gives the pair of you when he finds you like this.

He knows if he mentions it you’ll both infiltrate his apartment and choke him out with a console cable lololol.

You order most of your groceries online bc Kenma’s social anxiety will skyrocket and not allow him to be in a store full of more than 10 people, poor bby.

It works out for you too since why tf go there when you can have it delivered to your door.

You often binge watch anime together and he has GREAT taste mind you.

You made him watch a romance anime once and he secretly enjoyed it.

Since then he will very awkwardly request to watch them occasionally and you can’t help but smile.

The only time you clean is when you have to, like bins brimming with trash before you decide to take them out.

You accidentally broke his fav controller once and he didn’t talk to you for a week LMAO.

Still handed you one to play split-screen though so you knew he wasn’t entirely resentful.

[husbandograveyard]

*pops in* uu! A question game? Cute! Dont mind me if I do~.

Character I'd not be afraid to take home to meet my parents?

Benn Beckman. (And Shanks). Benn is definitely mature enough and I think he has a "proper" manners. He is very intelligent and is the "less weird" out of the two.

Shanks.. he can do it, if he would really really feel like it. 50/50 for Shanks.

Marco. Doctor? Check. Responsible? Check. Mature? Check. Family man? Check check... Also.. he is polite too.

Mihawk. On the same lvl as Benn - the symbol of good manners itself. Also, he would have NO problem to charm my parents. (Actually.. Shanks neither. These two are charmers.)

Nico Robin. ... Do I have to say anything else?

Zoro. Kay, kay. Hear me out. I have this idea, that he would be completely NERVOUS wreck. Would come up with flowers and go all extra - he might have even asked his dad *ehm* Mihawk on some tips (not Sanji tho.. too proud, too annoying). And he would be all fidgety.. untill my mum would go all soft on him and make him at ease. But both me and mum would GREATLY enjoy his nerves (dont tell him!)

Which one am I hiding away?

Kidd. I absolutely see him as the guy who grabs his s/o's butt infront of their parents. Cause it is not big deal. He does that anywhere else, why is there any different? But the time his s/o's mother would go all soft and kind - genuinly, motherly kind.. he would just.. fluster. He would not see that coming and would not know how to react. (But he would secretely like it)

Killer. He is WAY better option than his captain. Could be all polite and kind - the rough kind of way. That is untill someone realizes that he is in fact the Massacre Soldier. Yep, no..

Shanks. He could be good only for so long. Than he would go into his chaotic self and while that is not rude or smt per se... He would just be too much and damn.. he SO would challange my father or brother to a drinking game. Which would only result in him and brother or father being extremely drunk and I in charge of cleaning. No thanks, Akagami...

Law. I feel like my dad and him would NOT get along. Dad tends to talk about anything as he knows everything the best.. imagine talking like that about doctor's stuff. While Marco would probably skillfully either change the topic or just let the "madman ramble his things".. Law would go straight against him. Correcting every single error and ending the evening with telling my dad what he TRULY thinks of him..

Best character to be parent with?

Shanks - goffy dad. Also... Pls be it a human baby. Not fur baby. He can handly human baby/kid. But pls dont do this to him and bring a dog or cat on the ship... Pls no.. ( he love animals but.. how . Do you.. deal with them for longer period of time?)

Benn - if his s/o somewhat makes him say yes.. he can be amazing dad to both fur and human baby (would prefer human tho). I think he IS family man. But.. he is also very realistic and is way aware of the danger of being pirate. Especially if he is wanted only dead. Yea, good luck with trying to actually make him say yes.

Sanji - i think he would be extremely anxious. What if he is not good enough to be father. What if he would fail? Would if his father's toxic way is in his blood and he will somehow be toxic to his kid the similar way his father was to him?!? What if his s/o dies?!! ... But after these first anxieties.. he would be bombastic. Doting over his s/o a little bundle of joy. Would definitely want human child. Like please.. someone give a baby to hold.

Zoro - i mean... It was proven that he can handle 3 babies at once. He would be terrible at some things, but quick to learn.

Ace - fur baby first.. baby steps. His anxiety would go over the roof. But ... He would eventually get from fur to human baby.

Robin - both. Also.. hands down, she would be amazing mum.

What do you think? Does it make sense?

OH!! Those are some reasonable arguments, I kind of agree on about 90% of your points! 

Just keep Zoro away from the liquor and you should be fine tbh. 

Shanks and a baby gives me A LOT of joy and a lot of panic because the ONLY thing that goes through my mind is that one scene with Luffy and the knife. Shanks is amazing but he is also chaos incarnate. 100/10 loving dad, 1000/10 too chaotic to babysit. 

Kudo’s for mentioning Benn. Fine, fine,*fine* man 👌👌👌

I too, would adopt a bunch of puppers with Ace. It’s all I need in life fr 

Thank you for contributing dear, it was a joy to read!! 

[supergirl-writingz]

Kidnapped Part 2

B!D deals with recovery.

Note: the doctor being named dr grey isnt actually like mer or lexie i literally just watch too much greys and couldnt think of another name haha also THANK U FOR BEING SO PATIENT W ME im really proud of this fic tbh and i hope u guys like it:) remember requests are always open

Warning: trauma, anxiety, therapy

It’s been about one week since you were rescued. You were doing okay. Everyone was trying to convince you to see someone, to talk about what you went through. You didn’t get why. You realized you have been through something tragic, but wouldn’t it be easier to just put it in the past? 

Physically, you still had a long way to go. You were still cooped up at the DEO and you would be for a little bit longer. You had bruises everywhere, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken bone in your foot. But Lena assured you that you were healing properly. You trusted her.

Your least favorite part about everything, was the way people were treating you. They treated you as if you were glass, and if they spoke to loud or even held your hand, they would break you. You didn’t feel broken and you didn’t get why everyone wanted you to be. Lena was the only one who would tell you things how they were, straightforward with no holding back. You appreciated it. 

Lena walked into the room, “Hey hun can we talk?”

You nodded, “Of course Lena what’s up?”

Lena sat at the edge of your bed, “Darling I think you need to see someone, you-”

“Not you too” you interrupted rolling your eyes, “I’m fine, I don’t need to see anyone”

Lena was patient with you, with a calm voice she said, “Y/N you can’t keep bottling up your emotions, it’s not healthy. If you don’t let this out you’re gonna have a breakdown. You’re not fine and thats okay.”

“I am fine” you snapped at her.

“Y/N, you are scared to sleep without sedatives and you haven’t talked about what happened to you at all. Let me help you, please talk to me, or Kara or Alex or a specialist. Please”

You turned your head away from her. You were embarrassed but it was true, you were scared of going to bed without them.

“Don’t sedate me tonight, I’ll sleep just fine”

Lena sighed, “Okay”

As she walked out she turned around and said, “You know we’re all just trying to do what’s best for you right?”

You didn’t answer. Lena walked out looking sad and defeated. You felt bad, she’s helped you so much. But you were tired of people saying you weren’t okay. You thought about sleeping tonight without the sedatives, truthfully you were nervous but you didn’t tell anyone. Tonight was Kara’s turn to sleep in your room, and she always made you feel safe. 

Later that night, around 11, you finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a couple hours. 

All of the sudden you woke up with a start not knowing where you were. You were screaming and your heart rate was through the roof. Kara instantly got up and rushed to you.

“Y/N baby it’s just a dream! You’re okay!” she said calmly but loud enough so it would get through to you.

It didn’t help. You were starting to hyperventilate. Kara put her face directly in front of yours.

“Look at my sweetheart, breathe like I do” Kara said, breathing in and out slowly for me to follow.

You looked Kara in the eyes and started following her breathing. 5 minutes later you were breathing normally. Lena and Alex came rushing in, someone must have called them.

“Baby what happened?” Alex asked with a concerned tone. 

Tears were building up in your eyes, “I- I was back there.. in my dream”.

“The room where it all happened?” Lena asked. You nodded, tears starting to come quicker

“It was so real, I could feel every punch, every kick. It was like I was back there.” you said, at this point you were sobbing. 

Alex came close to you and put her hand to your cheek, “You’re safe now Y/N, he can’t hurt you anymore”

You pulled Alex closer and cried into the crook of her neck. While Kara was strong and comforting, there was something about Alex that made you feel powerful and in control. She was such a good directer at the DEO, even if things in her life were bad. Even when everything was going wrong, she had control. You needed that. You needed to be in control of your emotions, but you didn’t know how. You realized now everyone was right, you weren’t okay. But you still didn’t like the idea of seeing a therapist of any kind. You just couldn’t imagine talking to a complete stranger about things you can’t talk about to the people closest to you. 

You started to calm down and stopped crying. You looked up at Lena.

“I’m so sorry Lena”, you said.

“Darling you have nothing to be sorry for” she replied softly.

“I was so rude to you, you were just trying to help” you replied guiltily.

“You’re struggling little one, whether you know it or not, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After what you’ve been through, we’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling” Kara said.

“We just want you to feel better and we want you to know you have our constant support” Alex said.

You looked down and smiled softly. You didn’t know what you would do without these people. You didn’t think therapy was for you, but it seems like it would make them feel better, and who knows maybe it would make you feel better too. 

“I’ll see someone”, you said quietly, “if you guys really think it will be good”

Alex smiled and said, “We’re only asking that you try”. 

You got in a couple more hours of sleep before day time had come and it was too bright to sleep. You heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Lena and another woman you didn’t recognize. 

“Hey hun, this is Dr. Grey, she works with people who have been through trauma” Lena said, trying not to overwhelm you.

She smiled a bright smile and said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you”

You took a breath and remembered how you told Lena and your sisters you would give it a try. 

You reached out your hand and said “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too”

Dr. Grey shook your hand then told you that Lena or your sisters could stay in the room, or it could be just them. You decided to give it a try alone with Dr. Grey. Lena understood and wished you good luck before leaving. You took a deep breath, talking to this stranger was making you feel anxious. You and Dr. Grey started talking, and quickly you felt more comfortable. You guys didn’t talk much about the kidnapping, she mostly just wanted to know your home and social life. You told her pretty much everything, from your sisters, your friends, Lena, and school. Dr. Grey was pretty easy to talk to. The only time the kidnapping did come up was when she suggested that you talk to your sisters or Lena about what happened. She said if it was out in the open, you might feel better. She made it very clear though that you should wait until you were ready. And just like that, your hour session was over before you knew it.

“Thank you Dr. Grey” you said.

She smiled warmly, “So we’ll be meeting again?”

You returned her smile and nodded. 

About 2 weeks later, you were sitting in your bed at the DEO. You have been seeing Dr. Grey daily and it was helping a lot. All of the sudden Kara walked in and you smiled at her asked her to bring Alex and Lena into the room. Kara smiled and nodded, walking out of the room to get them. A few moments later, the three women walked in. 

“So Dr. Grey thought that I should talk to at least someone about what happened, other than her. And I trust you guys more than anyone, so I want to tell you guys” you say, starting to feel a little anxious.

“That’s very sweet darling but we don’t wanna push you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about” Lena said concerned.

You smiled, “I’m ready”, and they nodded.

You told them everything, from you walking home from school, to the guy grabbing you, to your surroundings, and on and on. You told them how they wanted to know who Supergirl was, and you shot Kara a warm look almost saying, ‘This isn’t your fault’. Kara gave you a small yet guilty smile. You took a deep breath as you started to talk about the torture. Your hands were shaking so Alex grabbed them into hers. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Kara wiped a tear from your cheek. You told them everything... you told them the beatings, about the whips and taser. You told them about the hunger, and how cold it was. You told them how you were so hopped up on drugs, you couldn’t even remember how you got there. 

“The scariest part was when I lost hope, I truly thought I was gonna die there” you said. You finally looked up at them, Kara was crying just as much as you were. Lena and Alex had some tears too, but you could tell they were trying to be strong. You grabbed Kara’s hands and looked her in the eyes.

“But you saved me Kara, you’re the reason I’m still here” you said softly.

Kara pulled you into a hug and you felt her warmth and comfort, which then turned into pain from your ribs.

“Kara.. too tight” you said chuckling.

“Sorry” she laughed immediately letting go. The four of you sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each others company. Dr. Grey was right, you did feel better putting it all out there. 

A few weeks later, you were making great progress. You were still having nightmares, but not every night. The anxiety meds you were taking were starting to help with the panic attacks too. You were still at the DEO, but you were starting to walk around though, with a boot and crutches. Your ribs were almost healed and your concussion was all gone. 

You were doing great with Dr. Grey too. The only thing she was concerned with was that you didn’t want to leave the DEO. Of course you wanted to be at home, but you couldn’t get yourself to step out of the building. You felt safe in there. You had this fear that the man who took you would be out there, even though you knew he was in custody. Everyone tried to get you just to go on a simple walk outside, but your anxiety would kick in before you even got the chance. Today was going to be different, today you were determined to go outside. You haven’t been outside since Kara flew you to the DEO the day of the kidnapping, and you were barely conscious.. but today was different. 

You asked Kara, Alex, and Lena if you could all go on a walk. They gave a little surprised look but didn't say anything, they probably didn’t want you to overthink it, but they realized how big of a deal this was. You guys were having a normal conversation, walking through the DEO. You stopped when you reached the exit. You felt Kara give your hand a little squeeze, letting you know that it’s okay. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked outside. 

You were surprised as you felt the fresh air in your lungs. Everything looked greener than you remember. You spent so much time in the DEO, that you forgot there was life outside of the grey and dark building. You looked around at all the people, talking and laughing, and you were amazed at how good it felt. You quickly started to cry and turned back to your sisters and Lena.

“Oh baby why are you crying?” Alex asked softly, “Do you wanna go back inside?”

These were happy tears. 

“I’m finally free from him” you said smiling, wiping the tears from your face. 

They all smiled at you and were so proud of your strength and perseverance. You had a lot to work through still, but this was a break through. This was the first time since the kidnapping, that you were 100% sure that you would make it through this. You pulled them into group hug, silently thanking them for never leaving your side.

[kyojuuros]

this has nothing do to with snk but please bear with me... being a functional working adult in her early 30s, what advice would you give to a college graduate in their early 20s who is completely unprepared to enter the real world? i find myself not wanting to do any of the things that are often associated with 'growing up' – don't wanna move out of my parents' house, don't wanna get a car, don't wanna 'get ahead in life', whatever that means. no one has taught me anything and i'm so unprepared

I think truthfully it’s not possible to be fully prepared for the standard definition of “adulthood” because the ways people navigate through their lives are all vastly different. Not all of us seek greatness nor do we want to fit the neat little box society tries to put it all in. Truthfully? Most people don’t fit into that box. 

That being said, most of us do have to push ourselves into that concept of adulthood where we are as independent as possible and it’s scary as shit. But as with all things, we adapt and we adjust and get used to things. And we have to do it at our own pace. If you aren’t ready to move out yet and your parents aren’t shoving you out the door, then try not to stress about it yet and just take your time and wait until you do feel ready. 

I don’t share a whole lot of intimate details of my life outside of a few close friends I trust completely, but I can share with you that I did try to move out of my parent’s house when I was 18 (still in high school even) and wound up right back under their roof not even 6 months later. Tried again to move out at 19 and then ended up later renting the “apartment” in my grandma’s basement for a little over a year after a failed abusive relationship. Moved out again for about a year and a half, and - again - ended up back in my mom’s house for several years (though she wasn’t living there at the time). I’ve had to borrow money from my family more times than I’d ever like to admit (and I probably still will rely on family for a down payment on a house). Even at 30, I was still struggling and trying to figure out all of my shit lol. 2020 was actually the first year of my life I’ve lived without any reliance on my family. I just turned 31 a few months ago. This time last year I was still having panic attacks about money and debt and having a lot of anxiety about my future. 

I make lots of poor choices, like blowing my money on eating out instead of cooking at home - a lot of this is because I either don’t know how to cook something or I don’t want to. I didn’t even know what the hell brining poultry was until like, not even a full year ago? My mom is passionate about cooking and passed hardly any of that knowledge onto me. Budgeting? I didn’t learn anything about budgeting until I was maybe 20 when my dad finally decided to teach me the ways of the Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. And even then, most of what I know now was self-taught, tips I learned from the internet, etc... And I make a good budget but following it properly is still something I’m trying to get the hang of. But unlike the me of 5-10 years ago, I realize when I’ve overspent and put a hold on that shit until my next pay cycle. It’s been a slow-burn kind of learning process lol

Basically the short of it is, you gotta do you, and you gotta do it at the pace that works for you. And you have to understand that learning how to adult “well” isn’t a linear process and sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s ugly. Don’t worry about “getting ahead in life” or any of that. Just find the best job (for you) that you can that will pay the bills, put food on your table, and doesn’t make you feel completely bloody miserable. Keep your family and friends close in case things go awry. Don’t keep people around who drag you down. Keep as well of a good head on your shoulders as you can.

I go to work 5 days a week and I do my job and I do it well. I would like to move up but I don’t actively pursue it, I just wait for the opportunities to come to my feet instead. I make decent money (albeit still in the lower class bracket) and I’m content with that. I come home, I bury my face in my anime and manga and video games like I always have since I was a child and I’m completely comfortable with that. I don’t focus on “making connections” so I can “get ahead in life” and I don’t penny pinch like crazy so I can one day have a million dollars to retire on and, tbh, I don’t see anything wrong with me living this way. Maybe I’ll hate myself for it when I’m 60 and my body is breaking down but, it’s not like in today’s society I’m actually looking forward to retirement anyway lol.

I don’t even have a degree. I tried college multiple times, multiple majors, and finally threw in the towel when I decided I was just wasting my money and didn’t want to do any of that shit. Would I like to go back? Yeah, someday... when I can afford it. But I’m not pressed about it right now.

Just take things one step at a time, do what works for you, don’t concern yourself with what “order” you should be doing everything in. It’s all baby steps. Ask questions about the things you don’t know. If someone in your life can’t give you the answers, the internet is a wonderful resource. Just breathe. Keep your interests, don’t feel like you have to cast them away so you can be more “adult” like. Being an adult is overrated and the concept of adulthood that we are fed our whole lives growing up is largely just a front. Just do the best that you can do and don’t worry about the rest or what others your age are doing.