#this is one of the posts that if they don't get attention i will start crying

[swamp-cats-den]

You are either willfully misreading it or a troll. This is a post full of notes by Ukrainians expressing disgust and hurt at our tragedy being used as a gotcha point to stick it to the US. The Onion is contributing to the dehumanisation of Ukrainians very common among the western left through pushing the narrative that Ukraine gets more attention than the situation merits completely ignoring that:

a. the russian invasion actually began in 2014 and the world gave fuck all about it

b. it only started to get proper international exposure in 2022 after turning into the biggest war since WW2, with the country possesing the largest nuclear arsenal in the world as the aggressor.

The narrative that the US gets no shit for its war crimes is false, especially when it comes to the American audience the Onion is addressing (I'm not talking about prosecution as the article isn't either, especially considering it isn't even really possible to properly do it with russians right now).

Don't even get me started on their stance on the concept of war crimes. Ukrainians striking invading russian troops could be called being photographed doing a regular war thing. Which is yes, scary, but necessary. The photo used by the Onion is a residential building deliberately targeted by a russian drone (this is not a collateral damage). These two situations are not the same, the latter is considered a war crime for a reason, equating it with the former would be refusing the victim the right to defend themselves. The Onion blurrying the lines here is not as peaceful and progressive as one might think.

And of course, they give their sassy 'definition' where a war crime is only considered such if it's done to a white person, deliberately painting Ukrainians as 'privileged', and, therefore, not as deserving of sympathy(who cares that 8 years of war crimes being committed against us before 2022 got fully ignored, and the current ones are not in fashion to talk about either - I'm in international circles a lot, and no one mentions Ukraine anymore). But honestly, even if my points about years of indifference and the sheer scale of the war weren't true, even if it was a minor conflict that got immediate undivided attention, using it for gotcha points would still make one a piece of shit, and if you don't get how infuriatingly dehumanising it is, I don't know what else to say to you.

really don’t think the onion got taken to task for this enough post-bucha

look at the date.

[lovelynim]

Fanfiction

Zenless Zone Zero - Asaba Harumasa (feat. Reader x Harumasa)

A/N: I don't even know where I start to explain the idea behind this one. Well, fanfics are canon in ZZZ and Harumasa is aware his fans write fics for him so... yeah.

Summary: Harumasa is reading a fanfic at work.

Word count: 1844 words

Harumasa sighed, slouching in his chair while the report pages rested empty on top of his desk. There was still about two hours before he could finally clock out and his body simply refused to waste its energy on filling those insufferable documents.

He already had to risk his life fighting ethereals, exploring hollows and doing medical check-ups, why did he also have to worry about explaining how any of those went? Why did it even matter in the first place? They just happened, weren’t the higher ups glad enough that he saved the day?

“Asaba-kun,” a cold, firm female voice came from behind him, making Harumasa jump in his seat and sit back up straight, dragging him from his thoughts back to reality. “Are you making progress with your reports? It would be troublesome to request another deadline extension after a two month delay.”

“D-deputy chief, you scared me!” Harumasa whined softly, his hand pressing flat against his chest while he looked up to Yanagi with puppy-like eyes. “Of course I’m making progress, but it’s just so har-”

“Good,” Yanagi nodded with a smile, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder, “I’m sure you can make it up for all the reports behind the schedule, Asaba-kun,” she added before walking away to pay some mind to whatever matter was going on with Soukaku and Miyabi.

‘So mean!’, Harumasa thought, how could the deputy chief of all people not even bother to offer him some help with that endless pile of work? He frowned, resting an elbow on top of his desk and his head on top of his hand. Well, there were still two hours, right? He could kill off some time and do that report later…

He reached for his cellphone, which was just by the side of the pile of work he was trying so hard to ignore, and mindlessly moved his thumb around the screen, drawing an arrow and unlocking the device.

Browsing through the interknot shouldn’t be that much of a big deal to most people, but things may get a little interesting when you have an army of restless fans that are chronically online, to say the least. It was still a little hard for him to believe what kind of thing his admirers would do and create: drawings, banners, edits of his fights’ footage with upbeat songs, and even fictional stories… Now that he thought about it, Harumasa was probably the one inside the Section 6 that paid the most attention to these contents: Yanagi usually brushed them off with a polite smile, not even daring to give them a second look; Miyabi didn’t understand the concept behind people’s admiration towards her; and Soukaku only cared about the gifts she could eat.

Still, while being popular could be a little troublesome at times (like when he was trying to sneak out with a certain proxy), having a legion of followers would come handy at boring moments like this. After all, Harumasa knew there would always be something to entertain himself with.

“Masa-masa enthusiasts explain why he is so cute; Check it out!”, “Ten things you didn’t know about Asaba Harumasa!”, “Harumasa caught secret dating?!”, “Harumasa spotted at the Lumina Square! See more pictures here”...

Harumasa rolled his eyes, scrolling past all the posts he deemed dumb. Why was the tag with his name filled with so many weird articles anyway? Where was the good stuff at? He let out a quiet groan, continuing to search for something that actually deserved his attention.

He continued to search, post after post, article after article, photo after photo. After a couple moments digging throughout the interknot, a post from the “Archive of Our Eridu” caught his attention. Finally some good fan made content, Harumasa through, smirking slightly as he clicked the link and opened it.

“‘Harumasa/Reader’, huh..?” He mumbled, shifting in his chair as his eyes moved past the tags, skipping the summary and the author’s notes to finally get to the actual story. 

‘You watch your captive slowly regain his consciousness, his muffled groans barely making past the improvised gag and his limbs’ moving restrained by the tightly tied ropes’- Harumasa arched one eyebrow at the content and its form, remembering one of the fanfic’s tags. 

Right, this should be someone else’s point-of-view, which means… the said ‘captive’ was him? Wait, how was he supposed to read it if he was doing both roles? 

Harumasa frowned, shaking his head. Probably the author never expected him, of all the users in the interknot, to stumble upon this. Still, he should probably just think of ‘reader’ as a different person while reading it, that should make things easier for him to understand and get through the text. 

So, back to it…

It was a straight forward setting. The reader in question was playing the role of some sort of criminal organization’s leader while Harumasa played… well, his own role. For some reason, the author skipped the previous events that led to the current scene - Harumasa assumed that would be too much context - and the first paragraphs described some sort of… interrogation? At least, that’s what it sounded like.

“Heh, am I going to fall in love with the bad guys here..?” Harumasa giggled with the thought, surprisingly amused as the reader threatened and tried to intimidate him. “They are making me sound so stubborn here…”

Harumasa continued to read, flinching when the reader snatched the tape off his lips, imagining how much it would sting, and even unawarely mimicking his reactions described in the story: parted lips, half closed eyes, erratic breathing…

‘We already took care of your colleagues. No one is coming to save you, Asaba, you better speak’, he shifted in his seat at that line. ‘Hah, even better. Do your worst, you’ll get nothing from me’, was he actually this sassy? And what’s up with the attitude? Harumasa shook his head, rolling his eyes at the cliché threats from the reader. Maybe he did set the bar too high for some amateur stor-

‘Pain? Who said anything about hurting you, my dear Asaba? I have my own methods of making you talk’, oh? Was that the beginning of the steamy parts? Harumasa looked around the office, making sure Yanagi was still in her seat before continuing his reading.

Being caught reading this kind of stuff would be even worse than getting caught slacking off. Gladly, Soukaku seemed to be doing an amazing job at keeping the deputy chief busy. 

Alright, time to resume it.

‘What?’. ‘Ah, Asaba… I’ve always been fond of you, I could never bring myself to hurt that pretty face of yours, but… I still need to make you talk, right?’ He could feel his cheeks warming up a little, imagining the scene a bit beyond what was written. 

Ah, this better not be something weird awakening inside him, Harumasa thought.

There was still no action. The story only described how the reader walked around him, wandering in the room and circling the chair he was tied to while explaining to Harumasa the roots of their affection for him. Still, Harumasa couldn’t help but to feel his heart beating a little faster with anticipation - both as the audience and as a form of sympathy towards his character.

The next part had Harumasa leaning more and more on the edge of his seat, going an inch forward with each word read. The description mentioned something like the reader sitting at Harumasa’s lap, popping his shirt’s buttons open one after the other and pushing his shirt away, exposing his bare chest.

‘Get your hands… off me, you f-freak!’. “Why? Are you nervous? Feeling shy? Maybe there is something stuck at the back of your throat? Let me get it out for you’.

Harumasa felt a shiver run up his spine, regretting ever underestimating one of his fan’s work. The description had him wrapped around its finger and even he himself couldn’t figure out what was so good about it - neither what made it sound so awfully hot.

‘You began to drag your fingers around his toned midriff, circling his navel before teasing his sides. You watched Harumasa tense up, sucking in stomach, trying to avoid your touch. You chuckle, fondly, tickling the edge of his waist.’

So this was the torture they had in mind? Tickling? Harumasa looked up, lowering his phone for a moment and contemplating the idea. Unexpected, yes. Unwelcomed? Not sure. He couldn’t really tell if he was ticklish - was there ever a time for him to figure it out?

Of course, the lack of this confirmation didn’t stop this fan, it seemed. He should probably leave a like in their work for the effort - finding a piece of information that Harumasa himself wasn’t aware of. Heh.

But, back to the fanfiction… Why was it making his heart flutter? Or, even better, why was he struck by the imaginary feeling of it?

He could feel a ghost-like sensation roaming his body. Unconsciously hitching his breath, brushing a hand over whatever spot was mentioned to get rid of the phantom feeling and even catching himself smiling at nothing but his own thoughts.

‘Harumasa laugh helplessly under your hands. You dig your finds under his arms, squirming your way past his defenses despite his efforts into clasping his elbows to his torso. He throws his head back and you can’t help but to give his neck a little tease’.

“...w-what kind of freak would be into this stuff?” He groaned quietly, pouting while his cheeks felt warmer than before. Harumasa even lifted his hand - after hesitating a little, for some reason - to rub his neck, trying to shift his attention from the nonexistent sensation.

Stomach, side, neck, ears, thighs, knees, waist, feet, back… even his hands! How many words did that fanfic even have?!

Harumasa crossed his legs before leaning back into the chair, his breathing quickened for some reason. “A-ahm, does anyone mind if I turn on the AC?” Harumasa whined sheepishly, hooking a finger around his collar to loosen it.

“No, go ah- Asaba-kun, are you feeling alright?” Yanagi asked, furrowing her brows slightly with concern. “You actually look sick, do you need me to-”

“I-it’s fine, deputy chief,” Harumasa sighed, wiping a drop of sweat from the side of his face and fanning it with his hand. “Just a little… overwhelmed, I’ll be fine,” he pulled out a forced smile, making Yanagi nod despite the doubt.

He should stop reading these things at work…

Brr, brr.

Wise lifted his head from his pillow, turning around and giving his attention to his phone instead of trying to sleep. Reaching out to it, taking him less than a couple swipes to check the reason behind the noise. 

[A guest left ludos on Harumasa’s Interrogation], read the e-mail. Wise shrugged, placing his phone back on the table. Well, at least something was doing numbers, unlike this commission he was stuck at… but he should be able to do it after a good nap!

[bitchface24-7]

Also I feel like you’ve had that Silco fic ready for a while- I sent that ask, took a nap and woke up to a fic. BUT ITS SKYVIK X READER TIME! Sky and reader are besties (and they were roommates..) and one day they go to each other and are both super blushy and excited. Both talking about cute interactions they’ve had with their mystery crush. Finding it too much of a coincidence they expose the fact that they had been crushing on the same man for weeks. Both of them have been receiving hints of affection and romantic interest from Viktor. Both confused and kind pissed off thinking they're getting led on. Only to confront Viktor and find out that he is aware of what he’s been doing and he stands by it. (He’s got two hands LMAO) Could it be spicy? Jaybe. Jaybe not. Up to you girly- ALSO DON'T WORRY! TAKE YOUR TIME!!!! I’ll be sitting here looking pretty. :333

I’VE GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON - SKYVIK X READER

synopsis: you and your best friend Sky have always had each other's backs, especially in the department of love. You two are as close as can be (maybe even too close some might say), and you both have a crush on someone; finally! Except… he's starting to sound familiar. Very familiar…

warnings: sky and R come to the conclusion they both have a crush on Viktor and Viktor’s been flirting with both of them, irritation, slight miscommunication (S and R think V is playing them, he's not), feelings realization for S and R, getting together, smut, oral sex (m receiving), Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/f/f or m/m/f

p.s. Yay, a Skyvik request!! My poor baby is slept on and deserves love. So, she'll be getting double the amount here (and in another request 😏😏) hope y'all enjoy!

p.p.s regarding the Silco fic, I came up with it on the spot after reading your request and speed-wrote it LMAO; that's how the requests go typically. Or I write the top portion before the first divider, save it, and come back to it when inspiration strikes me when I re-read it, and write the whole fic and post it 😭😭

You and Sky, your roommate and best friend are sitting in the living room, gushing over your crushes. But as the conversation goes on, the both of you start to have a startling realization.

You both have a crush on the same man, and he's flirting with the both of you.

"He's so handsome, the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Like molten gold."

"His accent is addictive. He could read a dictionary and it'd sound hot."

"He's sweet--"

"He's sarcastic--"

"He's--"

The two of you glance at each other. Sky is nervously fixing her glasses and you furrow your eyebrows. "Sky... I think we're talking about the same man."

Sky sighs as she slouches against the back of the couch, "I do too." You shake your head in frustration, "Say his name at the same time?"

Sky nods and the two of you simultaneously count down from 3... 2... 1...

"Viktor."

The both of you look to each other in shock, then despair, then irritation. Who does Viktor think he is?! He's been toying with both of you, playing you two like toys! You feel like a fool, a loser. You keep ranting as you pace back and forth, Sky just sits on the couch; dejected.

"He's not getting away with this! Sky, c'mon, we're going to the lab." You firmly sate, grabbing her wrist gently and ushering yourselves out of your home. She's flustered but follows you, just as irritated as you are.

Viktor's just caused a hurricane, and it's rapidly coming towards him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Viktor is casually working in the lab in silence. Jayce has a council meeting, and you and Sky have gone home hours ago. It's late at night; and Viktor is enjoying the peace.

He thinks of you two, how attractive the both of you are. How receptive you two are to his words, his touches, his glances. Sky gets shy, flustered. But preens under his attention and praise.

You on the other hand bite back, make flirty remarks, and perfectly timed innuendos. He adores the two of you. He doesn't expect the both of you to barge into the lab and break his peace.

Speak of the devil and they shall appear.

Viktor jolts at the shout of his name, he turns in his chair removing his eye-protection and stares dumbly at the two of you. You look angry, Sky looks upset, and Viktor knows he's messed up.

"You're awful, you know that?! Flirting with both Sky and I, toying around with our feelings! Do you even like us?!" Your voice is firm, sharp as steel. Sky just looks dejected, her eyes red with unshed tears.

Viktor's fucked up. Badly. He needs to fix this, STAT.

"I do. I adore both of you, so I showed my interest. I was going to tell both of you later this week but... it looks like you both came to a conclusion. A wrong one, but a conclusion none the less."

Your anger seeps away and confusion is left in its place. Sky looks curious, her dejected face long gone.

Sky's voice is quiet, but curious, "You like... both of us? Isn't that odd?"

A light laugh escapes you as you glance at your best friend, "This is a good thing Sky! We both have a shot! And--" Viktor cuts you off, his voice low and rumbly, "I have two hands."

Both you and Sky startle, the both of you flustering at Viktor's words and tone. He's... a very handsome man, and his tone of voice and look he's shooting you two is amplifying it.

He continues on, unfazed, "Besides, I thought we were all on the same page. I thought you two were together; and you we're trying to add me into your relationship."

Sky sputters a bit and your face morphs into a contemplative look, "I can see why he thought that." Sky whips around to look at you, her doe eyes wide in shock, "You can?!"

You nod, "I can. Sky be honest, we don't act like friends. Not really. We live together, cook together, typically share the same bed at night, are constantly with each other and touching each other. We have even showered together. Or have been in the bathroom getting ready, or just sitting on the toilet talking while the other bathes. That's not friend-like behavior Sky. We're essentially unofficially dating."

Sky looks dumbfounded as you and Viktor chuckle. That's... no. Well? Is it? Sky re-evaluates your relationship and realizes-- yeah. You two are dating.

Sky groans in embarrassment as you kiss her red cheek. Viktor laughs as Sky shoots him an unimpressed look. "The two of you are so bad at emotions." Sky and Viktor look at you, "Am not!" The two look to each other, they didn't mean to say that at the same time."

You laugh, "So... now that we're both on the same page; what do we do now?" Your two scientists look to one another and grin, "I have a good idea." Viktor states as he looks darkly at the two of you.

· · ─────── ·����· ─────── · ·

The three of you make your way to the lab couch, Viktor sits down as he watches you and Sky kiss. The two of you are so beautiful, he can't imagine he made it this far.

This is one of his main fantasies.

The two of you pull apart and rush Viktor, the poor man startled at the the enthusiasm. You both take one side of the pretty man, kissing all over his face and pulling his face each way to properly kiss his lips. The man sits there panting in shock.

You unbutton his shirt and both you and Sky continue your assault of kisses and nips on Viktor's body, eventually making your way to his belt.

The two of you now on your knees in front of him, looking up with big pleading eyes makes him groan, his head going back in lust. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

"Yes. Please. Fuck, take it off."

You and Sky beam a grin up at him as you both go for his belt buckle, undoing it, and pulling his pants down. His cock bounces lightly as his boxers got caught on his cock due to your eagerness.

It's pretty in all honesty. Neatly groomed, about six or seven inches in length, a good girth, a pretty pink head. Fuck it's perfect, it's actually quite big in your opinion.

Sky bites her lip and you wrap a hand around the base, "Where've you been hiding this beast, huh?"

A moan in what you get in return, "My pants." You roll your eyes and lick the tip, Viktor's hips jolt. You rub your hand up and down the base as you angle his cock to Sky, "You wanna?"

"Fuck yeah." Both you and Viktor jolt at the swear coming off of Sky's lips. You've never heard her swear before. Sky sucks the tip into her mouth and you remove your hand from the base, putting your lips there instead as you kiss the side of his cock.

Viktor just sits there, his eyes wide as he blinks in shock and whines. Fuck, he's so overwhelmed he doesn't know what to focus on; his mind is silent for once.

The two of you switch positions every so often, you even suck his balls into your mouth at one point. Viktor just gets louder and louder in his pleasure. You two are gonna kill him one day.

A loud moan escapes his pretty lips, "I-- I-- I'm going to cum. Fuck! I'm going to cum!"

A few bursts of cum enter your mouth as you whine, Sky continues to pump his cock to prolong his orgasm. When Viktor whines in overstimulation, you and Sky stop your pleasure and pull away from the panting man. You pull Sky into a kiss and push some cum into her mouth. The two of you kiss passionately, full of filth as Viktor just looks at the two of you.

He pulls himself together, putting himself back into his pants, zipping them up, and re-buttoning his shirt, "You two are filthy. No one would ever expect that."

The two of you go back to sit on the couch, the both of you kissing his cheek. His face squishes a bit due to the force.

"We're only filthy for you Viktor. Only for you."

Viktor's called it. You two are going to kill him one day.

RAHHHHHH!!! I'm so proud of this, I hope all y'all enjoyed watching Viktor get overwhelmed with pleasure ❤️❤️

[sombrashe]

viral twitter selfie reader x rapper thanos

twitter has always been your go to app when it came to selfies. instagram always felt to formal and facebook felt lame to be honest. so the perfect middle ground for you was twitter

it took a while but eventually you gained a small following. mostly just friends and occasionally a fan of your pictures. you continued posting like normal until some afternoon you gained notification after notification

once you finally got home from work you look through your profile and find out one of your selfies went viral. some basic one of you in bed with your hair swimming around you. you were freshly ready for bed and looking oh so tired.

you attempt to find the reason for your vitality. you chalk it up to a one time thing. you're on break when you phone starts blowing up. this time you're follower count shot straight into the hundred thousands. looking through you notice all your pictures gaining attention and you still have no clue how it happened.

you continue posting like normal and relish in the positive comments and questions about your outfits. every negative comment is quickly overshadowed by another positive one. you're replying to a few messages when you get a dm notification.

ThanosWorld Hey señorita, you got a banging bod

vintagezodiacsign oh wow thanks, have fun being blocked <3

ThanosWorld No wait. I'm sorry. I really like that pic you have where you're in bed

vintagezodiacsign thank you.

ThanosWorld I'm a rapper in Seoul. I have a EP coming out and want to use that pic for the cover. I'll pay

vintagezodiacsign uh huh, sure

ThanosWorld I'm serious. I can send you something rn. How much do you want?

vintagezodiacsign a thousand

vintagezodiacsign my cash app is in my bio

you sit there rolling your eyes. you don't actually expect anything but then your phone buzzes. heat washes over you as you open the notification to five thousand dollars sitting in your cash app.

vintagezodiacsign you're joking

vintagezodiacsign im not sending it back

vintagezodiacsign in case you're trying to scam me

ThanosWorld So can I use it? I'll give you 10% of the royalties from each sale

vintagezodiacsign make it 25%

ThanosWorld Deal. I'll be in touch gorgeous 🫰🏼

[elventhespian]

So like... it's a Thing in all fandoms where fans sort of latch onto fanon versions of characters and their dynamics with each other that are actually completely off-base, right? I don't know if this phenomenon has an official name, but I've seen it so many times and it's fascinated me every time. Especially when a character's popular fanon selves don't end up just diluted from their source material, but straight up OPPOSITE their canon portrayal.

So one of my "favorite" variations on this was how the early PotC fandom used to get Will EXTREMELY wrong, especially in comparison to Jack, and it made finding in-character fics SO. DAMN. DIFFICULT.

I've talked about this MULTIPLE times before, as have several other fans. It's a dead horse being beaten. But basically certain prevalent takes on fanon!Will have in the past leaned towards a personality that was very patient and grounded and even demure to contrast against Jack's off-beat personality and Elizabeth's fiery rebelliousness. Because Elizabeth has the drive to push back against social norms, Will became the foil who fell back to his pre-pirate version, reluctant to break rules unless she pulled him into it, even in post-CotBP timelines. Likewise, Jack was the one with the WTF decision making, while Will was more rooted in reasonable decisions.

And by their appearances, archetypes, and certain elements of their world views, you'd THINK that's how it works. When we meet Will in the governor's foyer, Will is so lovestruck and doe-eyed and subservient to the governor, I think that people thought that's just Who He Is. Especially because he often acts as Jack's straight-man foil in the comedic elements. Straight-laced. Rigid. Even boring or timid.

But if you actually pay attention to the movies, it's very much the opposite. In canon, Jack's USUALLY the level-headed one who just happens to have chaos follow him, because of the way he can wield it. He thinks in long run, tries to solve problems with words and as little fighting as possible as often as he can. Ideal situations for Jack are more like a thief--he wants to be in and out of the job as silently and slick as possible. The scenarios he's in are insane, because the way he throws other people around with those scenarios is kind of insane, but he himself remains largely cool and collected.

That's Jack.

THIS is Will:

Canon!Will starts out literally so impulsive and rash, Jack has to physically manhandle him at certain points to keep him from blowing up his plans--and then still gets taken out because he underestimates his listening skills and impatience. Will corners Jack into what is functionally a cage match to the death by sanely locking the door with his sword and very nearly wins. He is constantly at 11, constantly demanding things be done faster, more directly, and at the same time quietly scheming behind Jack's back almost from the get-go. He does flashy jumps and flips off of things because using the stairs is too slow or whatever. He shows up in DMC yelling at Jack to give him his compass at the point of the sword, and insisting he'll get Davy Jones' key by just "cutting down everyone in his path."

Even when Will mellows out significantly in AWE, there are remnants of this contrast still there. Jack's plan for leading Beckett to Shipwreck Cove seems to have been a very reasonable and underhanded effort to deliberately make sure Elizabeth is inside the Cove while Will is on Beckett's ship, in command of the Compass. Meanwhile Will's plan was to leave a breadcrumb trail of vulture-sea gulls feasting on dead soldiers' corpses.

What I'm getting at is, yeah, Jack's a charismatic "rogue" and Will's a "romantic hero" TECHNICALLY. Jack makes quippy jokes, and Will glares and scowls and WTFs back. But not only are they are both more alike than people give them credit for, they are also totally opposite their roles' traditional personalities in ways that the fandom tends to overlook.

TLDR; Jack's crazy, Will's a sweetheart. But Will is also a manic gremlin, and Jack doesn't always know what to do with him about it, so they often end up something like this:

And more fans need to play with this fact, the end.

[cybershock24601]

I'm sure someone else has already thought of this but I'm so convinced that modern Illario would be one those guys that make those thirst trap cooking videos - you know the ones - and starts building a decent following of horny older women (like Zara Renata) only for his fame to be completely eclipsed by some poorly shot and poorly edited video Rook posted of Lucanis cooking going insanely viral out of nowhere.

The video is shot in Rook's kitchen and it's Lucanis from the chin down, sleeves rolled up, and in a goofy apron (because Rook only owns goofy aprons) explaining in his nice soothing voice how to cook some dish and it's got some stupid caption like "when your man is teaching you how to cook so you don't die of malnutrition😍" that was intended just for their friends to see because it's clearly a silly candid video.

Probably no one would have seen it if there weren't some sort of algorithm containment breach that likely came from Ma Harding who wants to know what Lucanis is cooking. Rook answers and then just ignores their phone because they're still getting their cooking lesson and need to pay attention. Rook also doesn't keep notifications on or use social media much because they don't even notice the short little video they posted blowing up out of nowhere where half the comments are about how good the food looks and the other half about how good Lucanis looks.

Illario notices though and absolutely loses it because how come some stupid video of his cousin cooking doing so much better then the many videos Illario puts a ton of time and effort into making?! Illario starts giving Lucanis the cold shoulder and Lucanis is just so confused about what Illario's problem is this time and corners him because he's being ridiculous and Illario just goes "You know exactly what this about" and Lucanis who really, really doesn't know replies "Illario I have no idea what you're talking about" and Illario just shows him the video and Lucanis has no idea why he is so upset until he sees just how many likes and comments on the silly little video Rook took of him the other day. Lucanis is honestly a little disturbed by just how horny the comments are while Illario is telling Lucanis that he is not going to upstage him this time, just wait Lucanis, Illario is going to prove he's the better cooking content creator and dramatically walks away.

At the very least this is explaining those weird comments Taash and Harding had been making for the past week. Lucanis texts Rook about the video after this and Rook is super surprised that so many people had seen it and wants to know if they should take it down but its the internet so it's too late for that. Rook does get super curious about what Illario meant about making his own cooking videos and tracks down his account and almost dies of cringe when they start watching them. Those videos are definitely getting sent to the group chat where everyone proceeds to start roasting Illario over them and Lucanis is left desperately hoping he gets some sudden memory loss because he really wishes he had never seen his cousin try so desperately hard to be sexy or molest food like that.

[love-and-war-on-cybertron]

Teach a Bot to Kiss: Ratchet PT1

So this got deleted part way through writing so I used that as an excuse to try something. Also tumble made me post it in two parts. Enjoy~

The circumstances that brought you to the Lost Light were not ideal. No one, including you, talked about it. Ratchet seemed to think you were handling it surprisingly well. You didn't seem bothered. Quite happy. Maybe a little too happy. He's mention it to Rung next time they ran into each other.

The lost light was a big place to be if you were a tiny human. Lucky for you, Ratchet was willing to be your caretaker of sorts. He may be gruff and downright biting at times, but you could see that underlying care in him. No doubt it's what made him such a good doctor. Even you, he considered a potential patient. Luckily for you, he had some experience with humans and thus a previously saved bit of information on their medical needs. Today you were in the medical bay for one of his minor check ups. Keeping track of your vitals, seeing if anything made levels all wrong. Or if space travel was treating you wrong. Like usual, he did it at the end of the work day, when no one was in dire need of his attention. He just needed you to stand there and get scanned while he glanced at the numbers. "Well, looking fine as usual." "Why thank you." You say with a wink. Ratchet lets out a scoff and rolls his eyes. "You're hanging out with Rodimus too much." He writes something down on a data pad and sets it aside before shutting off the scanner and offering his palm to you. Using his thumb as a handle, you climb on so he can carry you off to his quarters. Ratchet waves to Ambulon as he passes by. It's the night hours, or at least the equivalent. The lights are turned down in the halls and most bots are in their quarters. Time for Ratchet, and thus you, to head to bed as well. "Hey Ratchet?" He unlocks his habsuite and grunts in acknowledgment, "You were on earth right?" "We've been over this many times y/n," He flips the lights and sets you on the shelf with your make shift bed. A collection of sponge and clean rags. Comfortable enough for you, "Yes I was on earth." He preferred not to talk about that time. The beginning of the end in a way. You flop onto the makeshift bed, even turned away, he can hear your mouth open, ready to ask a question. All a part of the nightly routine since he started caring for you. Asking any inane question that comes to mind while he readies for recharge. What he saw, who he met. Moving on to his past on cybertron. You always asked questions. Ratchet begrudgingly answered. You were trying to fill the silence. It couldn't be easy living on ship away from your home world and everything you knew. Sometimes these stupid questions led to interesting, dare he even think, inciteful conversation. Your voice was getting drowsy with sleep before asking about his love life. "When was the last time you kissed someone?" "Cybertronians don't kiss." "Prudes?" You perked up. "No, it just isn't a thing." He settles down on his berth, ready to offline. But you keep questioning. Ratchet can hear you shifting, eventually your soft steps coming to the edge of the shelf you're on. "Like… Just not popular?" He glances at you and sees you focused on him. This wasn't going to be one of those inciteful conversations, but clearly not one he could get out of. "No. We have many ways of showing affection, but that isn't one of them." Your pause makes him hopeful you will let it go and he can sleep. "But you know what kissing is?" Another heavy sigh, "I was on earth after all." "Well if you ever need the practice." You wiggle your brows and chuckle. Ratchet narrows his optics at you. Cheeky, as always. He flicks your forehead a little harder than he meant to. The THUNK of his digit and the way you stumbled back solidified that.

Part Two

[cassylost-inspace]

The object show community has honestly become so unsafe and toxic. I’ve only been in the community for a year and a half ,but the difference between now and then is honestly drastic. People don’t even enjoy the media anymore, all everyone does is criticise. While criticizing is fine, I don't think a community should be based on that. I have barely seen ANY positive posts about the ii movie, everyone treats it like it's meant to be God tier and I get that everyone thinks they should get what they deserve, but holy shit you guys have nothing good to say. Shipping has also become such a difficult point of discussion in the community, considering that everyone believes that their ship and their ship ONLY is good. Most of the shipping stuff wasn't relevant to me, because I'm a multi-shipper but the fandom takes ship wars to an extreme,honesty speaking. Another point is the fact that people are mad at ii for making canon ships,, again this doesn't bother me,because I have always liked all of the popular ships but it's honestly not that deep. I think I've seen like a million posts about the payjay scene from ii 18,, and people got SO mad over fan service despite the fact that it was like 3 minutes long 😭 Another thing is, I haven't talked about c2bc on here b4, but Cole getting cancelled proved how fast the fandom is willing to act immediately on a show's downfall. "I never really liked the show" that's really not the point here. I feel like people should take the situation of cole being racist more seriously instead of just taking this as a chance to bash the show. Moving on,, I remember seeing a post of someone saying "how could you even cry to object shows,, they're so unserious" why do you care? Genuinely WHO is it hurting.Moreover people saying stuff like only "12 year olds watch object shows" is dumb; because have you ever been in a fandom before??Teenagers literally keep fandoms alive, also who DO you want to be in this community. My last point is how almost everyone acts like object shows are meant to be "amazing works of art",, like they literally started off as terrible. These shows are indie and run by an even amount of people, stop treating the shows like Hollywood. Reminder that these people can do WHATEVER they want with their characters. Animationepic is one of the most listening teams out there, they sacrifice a lot for their fans and I personally think that they're allowed to do anything they want with their characters especially since they put so much effort into what the fans want. As someone who uses object shows and animation in general as a way to escape reality,, it is evident that most of you do the same. So I don't understand why there is just SO MUCH negativity coming from the community,, when os fans are so clearly talented and instead of putting effort into being hateful they can use this energy to make art, amvs, maps and animation memes and help uplift the community and it's overall impact on others.

Ik I normally don't post stuff like this, but the osc is REALLY important to me and I feel like this should be brought to more people's attention.

-Cassy

[numberonetacostan]

TACO'S TIRADE ANALYSIS

OKAY! It is time for the requested analysis of Taco’s Tirade. This is my first time doing a big analysis of like, anything, so I’m very sorry if this is the worst take on the song of all time or if everything I’m saying is obvious!! Can anyone tell i'm nervous about posting this lol. I have a lot of thoughts about Taco and her Tirade. I love it so much. Feel free to imagine me gesturing wildly with tears in my eyes as you read this. We’ll go in sections based on the lyrics and visuals :) Lyrics will be inside brackets, then commentary will be below! Please enjoy!! <3

Tw: slight discussion of suicidal ideation

[Any moment now...

Are you sure this is what you want?

(Scoff) Oh spare me your spin, you tablet tabloid. If you want to psychoanalyze someone, don't look at me.]

Alright, so we immediately see Taco still in a very emotional state. Mepad asking if she’s sure she wants to interfere with the challenge immediately provokes her, and starts her off on her entire tirade. Because he asked if she was sure. She immediately insults him and moves to change the subject and get his attention off of herself and her own mental well-being. She’s very in-denial of her own emotions and emotional pain in this song, as we’ll see going forward, and remains quite defensive for a lot of the song.

[Look at them! It's so pathetic,

How they run to fetch their sticks.

Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic,

At least I know other tricks!]

We start here with her, as I stated, changing the subject and shifting the view onto the contestants figuratively and somewhat literally, as they’re all seen picking up the sticks for the challenge, although she still remains the main focus of the shot. We move to her dancing around Mepad, who takes up the center of the shot, but Taco is still the focus here!! She’s moved from deflecting conversation to the contestants to, in a way, defending herself, despite Mepad not having insinuated anything yet. Taco is calling herself polemic and unsympathetic here, not only because she thinks that of herself, what with her abysmal self-esteem that we see more of later in the song, but because she thinks that’s what Mepad thinks of her. Not only do her only other two friends ever hate her (I wouldn’t go that far for Mic, but that’s definitely what Taco thinks), but the rest of the season 1 cast don’t seem to think too highly of her either, yeah? Mephone certainly isn’t happy to see her soon after the song ends, and season 2 contestants like Mic and Suitcase have been shown to be wary of her before they’ve even met her. (She doesn’t know about the season 3 cast so they don’t really matter here.) The point being, Mepad is Mephone’s right hand (leg?) man, and Taco doesn’t know about their argument, so she’s pretty reasonably assuming that Mepad dislikes her just as much as everyone else does. So, she’s saying what she thinks he’s thinking about her before he can!! Forgive me for not knowing the technical name for it, but this is an actual way of deflecting criticism!! I’ll use an example. Say you made a drawing of a person, a little stick guy, but the proportions are off. One of their legs are way bigger than another, but you still want to post it anyway. To keep people from telling you that one leg is bigger than another, you might say “here’s my stick dude!! One leg is bigger than another but I’m too lazy to fix it.” By stating the potential criticism before anyone else can, it makes others MUCH less likely to comment on it themselves!! And that’s what I believe Taco is doing here!!! I hope I explained that well enough. She then goes on defending herself, self-justifying by saying she at least “knows other tricks.” I read this as her doing things outside the game, and it’s limits. That could be her acknowledging how she doesn’t play by the rules of the competition like they do, but I see it as a note of the hypocrisy/lying to herself we see from Taco in the song. And!! In the transition to the next verse, she has her eyes closed!! Which happens everytime we travel in and out of that purple-y space! We are seeing Taco’s inner image here people!!!!!

[Look at me and all you'll see is the debris of some defective outcast,

A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) little iconoclast,]

Here we have Taco insulting herself more! Yay! She’s getting more emotional as we get into the song, and she becomes less and less able to keep her usually sturdy walls up. She’s just lost Mic, and as I’ll go over later in the analysis, is expecting she will be permanently dead relatively soon. Of course she’s having a lot of trouble keeping it together! You know how sometimes, if you’re trying not to cry and someone asks if you’re okay, it makes you burst into tears? It’s like that! Mepad asked if she was sure, and the dam began to break. So, the descriptors she uses tell us a lot about her view of herself!!! Debris. Broken remains of what was. That’s pretty accurate to how Taco is feeling right now. She’s drowning in debris, really! The debris of her old, broken friendships, the debris of her master plan to win season 1, and it’s to the point where she sees herself as broken and incomplete as well. She believes she’s broken!!! And that leads us right into her calling herself defective. Imperfect or faulty. She’s very separated from everyone else, yeah? Everyone else (to her knowledge) lives in the hotel. Everyone else is part of the group. Everyone else has people who care about them. Everyone else happily plays by the rules of the game. After everything, compared to everyone else? No wonder she sees herself as incapable of changing, she believes there’s something just, deeply wrong with her as a being. If everyone else can do this and have this, she has to be the problem. And almost right after she started putting forth that effort to get Mic to trust her, focusing on someone other than herself, Mic left her. Rightfully so, but please it is so important to think of it from Taco’s perspective rather than Mic’s in this analysis. Taco was trying to give Mic what she thought she wanted (recognition), trying to be a good friend, and it immediately lost her the most important person in her life. She’s been watching for years, she sees everyone else making strong connections, but she can’t do it when she tries. And before that, it’s her plan failing. Like Brian said in a stream, it was inconceivable to her that her plan would fail. Yet it did. And after a long enough time alone out in the woods, there isn’t anyone left to blame for that but herself. She was the reason her plan had failed, and she’d lost everything. Of course she’d see herself as defective. Outcast is pretty obvious, because she checks all of those boxes. Lives hidden, alone, and very much away from everyone else. She is very very much not part of the group anymore. 

Frenetic!! Fast, wild, and uncontrolled. Frankly, something you’d be more likely to describe Taco’s season 1 persona with, yeah? It’s quite different from how Taco usually tries to present herself, being cunning and calculating around others. But of course, the further we get into the song, the more honest Taco unintentionally can get about how she sees herself. She had her whole plan for season 1 down, but it was in the end where she lost control over the situation in which she lost control of herself in which she lost everything. It was in the ship, where something she didn’t and realistically couldn’t have planned for happens that she once again lost control of the situation and thus control of herself, and used violence despite Mic’s plea not to, in which she lost everything again. Of course she’d see herself as wild and uncontrollable, because moments in which she was are standout moments of her life! Not to mention again, how she’s the contestant who tried to steal the prize and cheated in season 2. For better or for worse, she’s much less controlled by the rules of the game than the other contestants. Just another thing that separates her from the group, yeah? Antithetic!!!! In direct opposition to something. And the following word as well, iconoclast, an attacker of a beloved institution or beliefs. She’s against the game that everyone else plays again and again, something that really matters a lot to them, but we see in the show and especially in the finale that the game isn’t good for them. As much as it’s not always for quite the right reason and exactly how she ends up going about it, she has a strong point about the game itself and what it can do to all of them. But she still sees herself as the villain. Despite her genuine, and correct, belief that ending the game will make things better for everyone, she still sees herself as the villain!! And it’s an image of herself that she’s had for a long time, and that she can’t shake after everything, because she doesn’t believe she can be anything else. And I did not forget how she mentions herself as being “poetic!” Whether that’s her believing in “karmic justice” or whatever and that she got what was coming with her, or believing her role as a season 1 finalist who’s come back out of the shadows to try and end season 2, it is one of the few neutral adjectives she uses for herself in the song. It might even be her previous popularity and persona she’s referencing here, that antitheticism and iconoclasm being how she went from a silly, well-loved character to a serious, well. She’s still loved out of canon but none of the people she knows like her at all. She’s the antithesis of what she used to be, and her coming out of the act destroyed the beloved image of who she had pretended to be.

As for the visuals here, how the scene fades back into her and Mepad is so important! She falls off of a cliff into darkness!! A very clear visual representation of how she sees things having gone. After her fight over the suitcase with OJ in the s1 finale, she kept falling and falling and falling, deeper down into the dark hole she’s dug herself, until she’s landed right where she is as she’s singing. Not only that, but this visual is another excellent representation of how she sees things as over for her. How she sees herself as incapable of changing, starting over, or getting better at all. Think about the cliff we know of on the island. Now think about who actually fell off that cliff at the end of season 1. Think about what happened to them. They all DIED!!! And she is picturing herself falling off this cliff!! I doubt this was intended to be a sign of suicidal ideation for her, since ii does have a younger target demographic (ex. Justy said in a stream that OJ and Paper sleeping in the same bed would be a bit too mature), but it can definitely be read that way. Seeing herself as “dead” in a way revolves around that disbelief in self-improvement she has, she thinks it’s too late for her in the same way it’s too late to save someone who’s died!!! And if anyone is questioning whether the scene is just a visual effect or if it’s definitely Taco’s inner picture-y thing, please note her closed eyes during the transition from her falling from the cliff to standing with Mepad!! She is picturing these visuals as she sings!!

[But I won't live in the past.

(Spoken) I almost won this game once, you know. But!]

So we all agree that Taco is totally living in the past, right? She’s saying she’s moved on, she’s telling Mepad and herself that the past doesn’t matter and that she doesn’t care about it, and then immediately she mentions how she almost won before. She has not healed at all, and is not over a single thing that happened!!! She is doing so awful I love her <3. She longs for everything she’s lost constantly, because she’s lost everything!!!!!

[History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory,

So reality is changed in the edit when they spin the story,]

So!!! Interestingly enough, I think that these lines are quite a bit about the disparities between OJ and Taco!! So, Taco had a whole strategy going into season 1 that got her into the finals, and had it not been for Bow, she would have won! She’d planned meticulously, and in the s1 finale is shown to have great physical capabilities, at least to the point to which she was able to get way ahead of OJ. And, while this may be by great bias towards Taco speaking at least in part, OJ… did not go to such lengths. Don’t get me wrong though, this is definitely a thing. It’s brought up in the show that he wasn’t a huge player in the game! Multiple times!!! S1E15 “The Tile Divide,” after OJ wins immunity with help from Paper Mephone4 says “OJ wins! Wow, that hasn’t happened for a while.” And in S1EP16 “The Penultimate Poll,” Pickle says “-even though [OJ] barely actually won any challenges.” Yet after all is said and done, Taco is outcasted, has nothing, and is disliked by pretty much everyone, and OJ is hailed as the “King of Inanimate Insanity”, is rich, and becomes the de facto group leader with his hotel. The way the narrative has been spun does certainly glorify OJ beyond his actual performance in the competition. And with OJ having his massive ego problems, I don’t doubt that he definitely let that get to his head and contributed to that narrative himself. 

And in this shot we have Taco looking down at the hotel from the forest, the same way she’s looking down on everyone participating in the game and how she’s been watching Mic (and presumably Pickle) from the outside. Only now, she’s even further away from them. 

[And we choose, to feel this pain,]

Taco denying her emotions again!!!! She likes to be in control, and she can not control her feelings nor keep pushing them down as she has been, so she’s onto deny deny deny!! She is in a lot of pain, and she knows it, so she deflects by saying she’s choosing to feel the pain of her losses. She’s keeping up her act, her defense, by desperately holding on and pretending she has control over these feelings!! I’m certain she’s tried to control them!! To justify herself, replace loneliness with anger, but it hasn’t worked!!! And her defensiveness is reflected in the visuals as well, her putting her hand up to keep a distance between her and Mepad, her still stubbornly keeping up those walls and forcing him away as he looks concerned for her. 

[And we lose, more than we gain…]

OH BOY TIME TO LOSE MORE THAN WE GAIN. I use this phrase daily. I'm serious. A pretty obvious reference to Mic having said she gained nothing, and also an acknowledgement that their partnership truly meant something to Taco and is still greatly affecting her. Which is obvious to the audience, but not only is Mepad learning things about Taco and her issues through the song, but we really see Taco starting to fall apart, accidentally implying the feelings that she’s so desperate to keep down!! She’s like a trauma volcano <3. Anyways, Taco had gained a lot when she’d met Mic, even if it took her quite some time to realise, and by the time she did she’d lost it all, again. AS FOR THE VISUALS we once again move into Taco’s head!! The transitions here for the beginning and end of this short sequence have her with her eyes closed!! She’s walking, and hard stops when she sees Pickle and the time travel portal. You see her little feet slide to a stop on her heels! She leans away from him, leans towards him just a tad, and immediately turns and walks away, only to see Mic. She hard stops when she sees Mic too, though it’s less extreme than it was for Pickle. And when she does this, she reaches a hand out towards Mic. It’s for a few reasons I think. Holding it out to try and keep that hurt away, protect her from her thoughts of missing Mic and how much she must hate her, fully reaching out because she misses Mic dearly and that pain is so fresh, reaching out to the person she’s been so close to, closer than anyone before. Another part of it, I think, is how her conflicts with both Pickle and Mic went. With Pickle, Taco was the one who insulted him, claimed they were never friends, and cut things off. Thus, she hard stops when she sees him, only leans a bit closer to him, before turning around and walking away. With Mic, Taco was the one who was left this time. Mic cut things off with her. So she’s left reaching out to Mic, as Mic’s image leaves the screen, and Taco collapses onto her knees where she is. Taco’s left on the ground, squeezing her eyes closed and clutching her head as the darkness in the background, the darkness in Taco’s head closes in on her, until she closes her eyes and jumps straight back into her villain act, the song speeding up with her as she keeps trying to get away from all of her feelings!!! My queen with awful coping skills <3.

[But I will break this cycle,

Of mistakes, unlike all,

Of these snakes whom I call to condemn,]

So! We see Taco hard cutting from her guilt and sadness, straight into her evil plan. Right back into her villain front as she realises she’s begun to open up and get emotional!!! So she’s explaining her plan to Mepad, and projects her own self-hatred and experiences very hard onto the contestants. She’s upset about what happened between her and Mic and sees the game as at fault for what happened as she’s trying to justify things to herself, and push down the guilt she feels about their split. Heck, I’d say she’s probably blaming the game for what happened between her and Pickle right now, even if that one is more on her. And she sees the final four as complacent in what the game does, with them all continuing even though none of them are even enjoying themselves anymore. Most of them haven’t been enjoying themselves for a while now, but they still stay in line and play, as they’re programmed to. This is a bit off track, but it’s important to keep in mind that at this point, Taco has been acting more outside of her programming for longer than any of the other contestants. She was never in whatever sort of waiting-mode they end up in inside the hotel, and she’s cared less and less about the rules of the game as time has gone on. Her plot in the first season was done fully inside the rules of the game, but we see her having broken out of those constraints in season 2, with her encouraging Mic to straight up attack other contestants, which is implied by Taco to be against the rules. And she keeps interfering against those same rules of the competition. Like Marsh breaking the rules by leaving the show’s parameters, Taco explicitly goes against what is meant to happen in the game. And here she is at the peak of that, having gone from breaking the rules of the game to wanting to break the game, the cycle of mistakes, entirely. Her calling the remaining contestants “snakes” of all things specifically is interesting as well, since I’m sure plenty of the season 1 cast would use that to describe Taco. Part of it is her projecting, but another part of it is her actually seeing her own mistakes in the remaining contestants. Keeping secrets from each other (Knife), never properly talking out interpersonal issues (Suitcase & Baseball), and plain loneliness (Lightbulb). And she’s condemning them for their complacency in all of it, for their actions, most certainly in part with her efforts to ignore her own feelings and as well to call out how the game changes people and makes them act. 

[If I can't win the prize,

I'll play this last reprisal,

Just to bring their lies all to an end.

-Ack!]

The first line here is more of Taco playing up her villain act. She mentions later on in the episode, while she’s being more honest since it’s surrounding Mic territory, to the final four that she doesn’t care about the money anymore. And I really believe she doesn’t! She’s broken out of that programming after having connected with Mic. She was one of the contestants, if not the contestant, made to be most dedicated to getting that money, so of course she mentions it as she’s still desperately keeping up her front!!! But she says in the very next line that this is her “last reprisal,” she clearly doesn’t intend to interfere or interact with the game again, much less try to swoop in and steal the million. And the last reprisal line is very important!!!! Notice how in the visuals, Taco lets herself fall out of a tree as she says this and upon landing she’s hurt by her injury. There is symbolism here guys!!!!!!! She is letting herself fall here. In her eyes, she doesn’t have anything left to fight for anymore. She’s lost the people important to her, she’s lost any goals she’d had driving her forward, and she hates herself!! She knows she’s injured, and that her injury could very well be lethal, as we see later in the episode, but she’s doing nothing to minimize the risk to herself. She’s not going to sit away and let herself feel and process, she’s going to burn the game down and die with it!!!! This, my friends, is called passive suicidal ideation and self-destructive behavior!!!!! And her facade starts to falter again and she mentions bringing their lies to an end!! Because she is lying to herself, and she herself is not ready to stop holding on to her lies, either to herself or to others in her persona. Bringing the game and all the lies tangled up in it to an end means she would finally have to face everything, and just thinking about that is enough to wipe the villainous grin off her face. But she’s still stubbornly going through with her plot, because she isn’t truly expecting she’ll have to face it, again because she is fully expecting to die permanently in the near future!!!! 

[You need regeneration.

Unfortunately, I don't have much faith in that process.

Of course not.

Why "of course not?".

You believe yourself to be incapable of starting over, in more ways than one. I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?]

MEPAD TIME!!!! Okay, here we have Mepad (rip king you would have loved the storyboards of your own death) urging Taco to heal!!! He’s looking out for her physical well-being, he can tell that she’s in pain and that her injury is quite dangerous, that being especially obvious the way he emphasises “need” in the line. And he is implying that she needs emotional healing as well!! He starts his Therapad-ing in his next line!! <3 He is very clearly worried about her, a lot of his presence in the first half of the song is just him looking at Taco with big concerned eyes!!!

And Taco has zero faith in the recovery process, between her, as Mepad helpfully says, believing herself to be incapable of starting over in more ways than one, her believing no one would want her to be recovered, her having a hunch of Mephone’s reluctance to revive her, or her own inability to see much of a future for herself, she does not believe she can come back!!! Angst!!!!! She is hurting so bad I love her <3

And Mepad is an empathy king!! And is probably the least biased against her out of everyone on the island!! And he can see beneath her crumbling exterior!!!! So her self-loathing and regret and everything she’s trying to push down is obvious to him. Of course she doesn’t believe she can be revived. And we see even Taco is surprised and even a bit miffed by this!!! Aside from Mic to a lesser extent, Mepad is the only person who can really see through her facade. Mic did try, and saw that Taco was hiding things, don’t get me wrong, but Taco was much more stable at that point and shut Mic’s attempts to see underneath her image down much harder than she is able to do during the song. 

And Mepad plainly spells out what she’s feeling. This is so important to why she opens up to him more in the next verse. Not only can she not hide her emotions from him, because he already knows, but having it spelled out like that means she can’t keep hiding it from herself either. She can’t ignore her feelings when they’re being clearly stated back to her. So all that she’s been pushing down comes springing right back up in the next verse!!!! She has to physically turn away from him and cross her arms in a final attempt to keep herself closed off, keep anyone from looking in, but after everything she just can’t do it anymore. 

["Clear the slate, start again",

Are you hearing how preposterous that sounds?

How do you not comprehend that for someone with my MONSTROUS BACKGROUND,

the whole slate has fallen apart!]

Oh my god guys Taco is being honest about her feelings it’s happening guys it’s happening!!!!! She’s turned away from Mepad for the first two lines, but as she really opens up to him, she turns back around, and gets louder along with the music. And we have Taco be like, the most emotionally open we see her!!! She’s putting Mepad’s rather succinct evaluation of her feelings into her own words. She doesn’t just think she can’t change or have a new start, she finds the notion preposterous!!! Forgiveness is inconceivable to her!!! Inconceivable!!! I can’t emphasize enough that this is the first time Taco has ever emotionally opened up to anyone ever and it is her telling Mepad that she is evil, unable to change, and will never be forgiven. We really get a feel for how everything has been weighing down on her for years, and how everything has built up to a point that she really can’t take it anymore!! But she doesn’t believe there’s any chance of a happy ending for her. Not only the whole slate, but her entire life has fallen apart!! She has lost everything and is fully confident she will never get anything back!!!

[Taco, that is not true.

There are other ways to-

It's too late-

It's not too late,

For me to restart!]

Mepad coming in trying to help <3 Notice how he comes in while she’s still holding the previous note!! He is immediately refuting her idea that she’s irredeemable!! He does the same to refute her when she says it’s too late!!! He is very concerned for her and trying to convince her that it’s not too late for her. He’s trying to tell her there are other options, that she’s not so far gone, but this sort of ends up backfiring, since not only does she not listen to him when he says these things but his interjection ends up snapping her out of the state of emotional vulnerability, and she pulls her facade right back up. Taco saying it’s too late for her kind of breaks my heart honestly, I love it when my blorbo is in pain don’t get me wrong but ow, my taco it’s gonna be okay I love you. She really sees no redemption or even future for herself, and at her lowest she’s finally expressed that to someone!!! Which is a very important step to healing!!!! She accidentally started the healing process by talking about her issues. I mean, she backpedals immediately, but still!!!! Great job Taco <3 And at the end of this line we head into Mepad’s face!! Because there’s a shift from Taco’s feelings to her pushing him away, literally and figuratively, after that moment of vulnerability!! The audience is going with Mepad, at the moment, chasing after Taco!!!

[But it's not I, its they,

Who deign to play this game, so,

Cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth,]

AND HERE COMES TACO WITH THE IMMEDIATE SUBJECT CHANGE!! She just did her first ever emotional vulnerability, and as per her usual strategy with her emotions she’s hard changing the subject!!! In this case, back to the final four and the game!!! She’s deflecting back on to both of them in quick succession trying to get a topic that isn’t her to stick! She is quite literally walking away from the topic in the visuals too!! She’s trying to get away from Mepad, who is trying to keep them on the subject of Taco’s feelings, looks back at him angrily when he keeps talking about it, and then is even more angry when he keeps going, before storming away from him again!!!

[Let us talk about it when your,

head is not so clouded. You're no,

menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?

Please think this through]

Mepad is trying to get her to go back to that emotional vulnerability!!! He wants to help her, he wants to talk through her issues with her rather than watching her self-destruct!!! I think this is where the idea that running the Truth or Flare challenge will help her comes from, too. He can tell she’s vulnerable, despite how hard she’s trying not to be, and she is talking things out, in a way, during ToF!! In a healthy way, no, but it’s Taco so we need to take what we can get. As he says, he’d rather do it when Taco has calmed down, taken a moment to not bury her feelings and even gets recovered, maybe. And here we get to a very important line!! Mepad asks her how they hurt her!!!! I genuinely don’t think Taco’s been asked this, yeah? Her whole schtick is supposed to be that she is the villain, she hurts people, not how she’s been hurt herself! And dare I say, me, the biggest Taco apologist and forehead kisser you ever did see, they have hurt her. She’s seen every other person who’s hurt the others be let into the hotel and accepted into the group, yeah? Balloon was accepted, after quite a bit of effort on his part. No one really seemed to care that Knife had killed Marsh for fun, Taco mentioning it in episode 13 as they’re arguing. Nickel and Taco are relatively similar in personality, but Nickel seemed to have relatively free reign to asshole all he wanted until Suitcase snapped at him, and even then it was just Suitcase who was angry with him. But not her. She hasn’t apologized to Pickle in person, at this point, but she had sent letters. She’d at least tried to contact him, and while he was well within his rights to ignore her, I can’t really blame her for not wanting to go inside the hotel either. Not to mention, Taco has been watching them all very closely, at least for the duration of the second season and likely after the first as well, for her to have found out about the second season and to have begun scheming so quickly. So every time they’ve spoken about her, every insult and awkward silence after someone mentions her name, she’s heard. That’s got to hurt!! Taco is very much not perfect and I don’t really blame the others for not reaching out to her given she hadn’t decided to make a change yet, but it also can’t be easy to make a change for the better when you are homeless in the woods!! Mic and Mepad’s willingness to help her is what really convinced her change would be good and possible, she hadn’t had anyone else reach out to her before, and to be fair, she folds pretty damn quickly in the grand scheme of things. Mic showed her she was likable as a person, and Mepad showed her she was redeemable, and with that support she is doing her best now!!! Anyways. Uh. There’s still one more line!! Mepad is pleading with Taco not to make things worse for herself, because taking over the challenge and such is only going to make them think she hasn’t changed at all and feed into the persona he knows is a sham in shambles at this point! Talking it out with him would be a much better way to do this!!! But alas, she’s dead set. 

[I think they're too afraid to,

Bear the bed they've made,

Can't bring themselves to face the awful truth.]

TACO & THE AWFUL TRUTH that she’s projecting. Yeah Taco is the one who is afraid to actually face her mistakes, the people she’d hurt. Though, she probably sees her isolation as doing so, yeah? She’s hurt people, so she has to be alone as punishment, even though that doesn’t give anyone closure. However! As for the awful truth, yeah, Taco really is one of the only ones who’s looked the competition in the eyes for everything it is and spat on it. She’s motivated by a lot of complicated feelings she tries not to feel, but she sees the game for what it is, and how it hurts the contestants involved!! And the final four are yet to take that look, until she gets everything laid out in front of them!!

[Feeling double-crossed is part of,

Dealing with a loss, yes, but the,

Healing is a process, that's the truth]

FEELING DOUBLE-CROSSED this line is also important because!! Taco does feel betrayed by Mic!! She feels guilty and blames herself for what happened, yes, but she still does feel that sting of betrayal, since Mic left her, yeah? Oh her part, she’d finally accepted Mic as her first true friend, someone who liked her for who she was and she liked being around, and almost immediately Mic left her. A lot of that is on Taco, don’t get me wrong, but from Taco’s end she still doesn’t even fully understand why Mic was mad at her!! She thinks it was all because of her getting violent, not because she didn’t listen to Mic. My low empathy queen is still struggling to fully grasp Mic’s motivations, her first friend that she could act “normal” around, so of course she’d feel betrayed! Taco is dealing with a loss!!!!!!!!! And she is NOT healing!! She is trying to push it down like always, but it’s become too much for her!!! And Mepad is telling her that healing is a process because it’s so much for her at the moment!! He’s trying to communicate that she’s going to feel better eventually, that she needs help and time to do so, instead of rushing into another scheme!!! He’s telling her the truth, that healing is possible!!! But as Taco rejects his pleas for her to reconsider and grabs him, we shift back into reality. Taco is unconvinced, and they’re more or less at square one, with Taco’s mask for the rest of the world securely back in place.

Everyone look at this shot RIGHT NOW I’m going to explode. All these cracks come from the ii logo that Taco stomped on, yeah? And those cracks in the game spread, and create the cracks in her. She has been broken by the game!!! Look at her face! Does she look whole and happy to you? I didn’t think so. And here we have Taco close to the camera, looking out towards the viewer, to illustrate how although she’s separate from the game, more of a spectator than the player anymore, she’s still trapped inside the competition that’s broken her!! And we have Mepad in the background, further away with his position as an assistant!! The cracks are all around him rather than through him, because he’s not being hurt by the game!! He’s not a competitor!! But the game is crumbling everything around him. He’s watched everything, just like Taco has!! Every betrayal, every fight this season, Mepad has been watching. And the more he’s been seeing, the more he’s been feeling, and the more he’s been able to see how the game tears people apart and breaks them, just like it’s broken Taco. 

[So I'm turning up the heat to "sauté",

I've a beef to get grilled,

But I fully guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled,

Won't be mine, no I'm fine,

Shhhh...

Now it's time…]

Guys I think Taco might not be fine. She’s shoved her facade right up and has closed herself back off, moving to continue with her plot. She’s going to grill the final four and 100% not get upset or feel any feelings, nope. Of course this is not what happened, and from Taco’s facial expression when she claims to be fine she has a hunch it’s not going to be so easy. She knows and has acknowledged to herself that she is not okay, which is a big step, but she still stuck in her ways in terms of ignoring it in favor of playing the role she’s been designated. Her mask is cracked, her confidence is transparent, but she’s still acting. Mepad is still trying to help her here, but she physically silences him. Not literally, per say, as turning him invisible wouldn’t stop him from talking, but she shushes him and he gets the memo. The window to convince her to stop has closed, and she’s going forth with her plan regardless of how well she is. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!! <3 I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! I REALLY HOPE THIS DIDN’T SUCK. IT TOOK A WHILE TO WRITE SO IF IT SUCKS THAT SUCKS FOR ME. HOPEFULLY I DIDN’T MISS TOO MUCH. THROW TOMATOES AT ME IF I DID (i will be sad). GIVE ME COOKIES IF NOT (joy inducers).

[bidisasterevankinard]

Bucktommy post-break up friendship fic idea: they're friends for several months and Tommy took Buck with him to trivia. And Buck is so excited by all the questions start to yap to Tommy after the trivia. He loves Tommy's attention and it feels so good. But then Tommy goes for a refill and one of Tommy's friends says something like "god, you're never shut up, huh?". And it makes Buck stop. And think maybe he's wrong thinking that Tommy likes his yapping. Maybe he's just too polite to shut Buck. So basically Buck starts to try and shut himself with Tommy, but it works only if he's not around Tommy. Because either way he needs Tommy's attention and when Tommy listens, he asks questions and it lead to really long cycle of Buck's nonstop yapping. So he tries to get a distance from Tommy, but it backtracks into sad Tommy coming to him with a question "what did i do wrong?🥺" Buck's so lost, and he's like "nothing. I just doesn't want to annoy you🥺". "Who said what you're annoying me?" "C'mon Tommy, no one can listen to me yapping for hours. You don't have to be so polite to play like it's fine." "But it is fine!!! I love your yapping. I love your voice!!! What have i done to make you feel it's not true?"

[fandomofhappiness]

Aizawa Shouta & Shinsou Hitoshi Father-Son Dynamic Big Recomendation Fic List for starters and not

Hi everyone! After quite a long time, I finally post my Recommendation Fic List (the crowning glory of my stay in the MHA fandom) of Aizawa and Shinsou Father-Son Dynamic.

I always start reading fanfiction before I even finished read the original, what does that says about me?

I became familiar with a fairly common theory that Shinsou Hitoshi is an orphan with a rather dread past, which, of course, activated a huge curiosity in me. I tried to analyze the trend, and I will say that it's quite clear: People were infected with the idea, where abused Hitoshi was somehow saved by Aizawa. And so was I. I've read for almost hundread of any combinations of this trend and NOW I finally ready to present my Fic List.

Attention. I will attach UNFINISHED fanfics, but which actively (or not so) updated, because they are masterpieces.

WARNING! I do not attach stories which contain:

ships (except Erasermic and 2-3 ShinKami but they are not MAIN)

alpha/beta/omega thing

too fluffy and too family-oriented fics (there will be ones, but I don't want to make them a centre of my list

I cut Rec List on different genre sections (read: dynamics) and add fanfics from the most angst ones to fluffy ones so you can easily pick what you like most ;)

So, let's start!

fandomofhappiness's personal top

You Want It Darker by Ms_Chunks Genres: Shinsou Has Family, Gore and Murder, Detective, Mentor and Parental Aizawa Status: FINISHED (533,808 words) foh's comment: Highly interesting! Shinsou here is not represented as perfect kid or downtrodden teenager, he is the way I liked him in anime and manga: he bites, hisses, snaps, makes sarcastic jokes and does not allow anyone hurt him. Aizawa and Shinsou very slowly gain trust from each other, but that makes their relationship seem sincere, and not caricatured. Read for the detective, the non-orthodox view of the Hitoshi family and Erasermic. READ THE TAGS and be aware!

Fundamental Theorem of Heroics by NightowlRobin Genres: Foster Kid Shinsou, Vigilante Shinsou, Heavy Angst, Parental Aizawa Status: UNFINISHED but updates weekly (more 700k words) foh's comment: Truly FUNDAMENTAL work of all Shinsou Hitoshi stories on ao3. I'd so like to confess my true respect and love to the NightowlRobin for their most mind-blowing plot and detailising. (You will probably meet Aizawa only after 10 chapters. And it will take even longer until Hitoshi and him properly meet.) This is an epochal work that will make you believe in Hitoshi's true character and make you cry of his story because it's really brutal. I think this is the favourite work of everyone who liked Shinsou with all their hearts.

To Turn A Man Into A Stone by tanli Genres: Foster Kid Shinsou, Angst, Mentor Aizawa Status: FINISHED (15,128 words) foh's: comment: Even months after I read this work, I look back on it and think: the author did an 11/10 job. Just so you understand: this is the best example of how I see the relationship between Aizawa and Shinsou. It is the apotheosis of sincerity and affection. It is a test of will, deep introspection and acceptance. It performed so well that it seemed to me that the author wrote a chapter for the manga. Damn, the author did a lot better than the mangaka. If the previous two works were not so high-quality and grandiose, I would've put this one at the very top of my list.

If Lies Had A Flavor by scooter3scooter Genres: Foster Kid Shinsou, Erasermic Adopt Shinsou, Heavy Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eating Disorders Status: FINISHED (10,003 words) foh's comment: Perhaps one of the many angst works written by scooter3scooter, which I have reread more than once or even twice. This work is special to me, because I have never seen such an interesting look at the consequences of Shinsou's stay in an orphanage. Complex and emotional work. It is truly an honour to get acquainted with such a vast problem of humanity as eating disorder through this fanfic.

crybaby by Brachydios Genres: Foster Kid Shinsou, Erasermic Help Shinsou, Heavy Angst & Eventual Comfort, Canon Divergence Status: FINISHED (51,219 words) foh's comment: I've read this work more times than I can remember. Brachydios came into my life with this incredible work and tore me apart from the inside. I believe in every detail they describe, every character move is justified. I want to sympathize with Shinsou over and over again. One of the best Quirk-Shenanigans trope that has brought 1017 people to tears - be the next one. The performance is 100 of 10.

How It Goes by Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter Genres: Foster Kid Shinsou, Erasermic Adopt Shinsou, Heavy Angst & Eventual Comfort Status: FINISHED (20,021 words) foh's comment: This is one of the best written Foster Kid Shinsou stories ever. Hitoshi's adaptation, his thoughts and feelings, his panic, his fear of going back to the orphanage are described in a deep sincere way here. It's a heartbreaking story about the fear of punishment, taking consenquences and family. It was very personal for me and I hope you get a lot emotions after reading it.

Faith by slightlycrunchy Genres: Mentor and Parental Aizawa, Anxious Shinsou, Hurt/Comfort, School Situation Status: FINISHED (2,651 words) foh's comment: This work is also quite personal choice of mine. I wouldn't say it's grandiose, but it's very emotional for me. For the kid who worries about grades all their life, who is afraid to make a mistake, who is afraid to lose everything because of one mistake and who doesn't know how to accept their failures. I ask you to read this if my words resonate in your soul. This is the truth that we all need to hear.

Absolute Tops

Point Blank by Cobbiest foh's rec: an interesting, intriguing and beautifully written Shinsou's journey to become a part of Erasermic Family (and hero)

Deathworlders to the extreme! by AquaStarDark foh's rec: that's the funniest, most captivating and rocking people-are-space-orcs thing that I've read, really worths reading

I Would Understand by deafmic foh's rec: that is the first things first to read if you're new here, but tnh I wasn't ready for this work and dropped it once or twice before I finally made it and read it, it's really really good, but I wouldn't recommended as first-to-read.

Back to the Nest by Mags_Pie foh's rec: such a sweet thing about children and their parents. I was smiling so much.

Everything is different (since you've been around) by Plasmapause foh's rec: and THIS is how I see the best written relationship between Shinsou & Aizawa AND Shinsou & Yamada, they're building trust and becoming family very slowly BUT you really believe in these life situations that happen to Hitoshi, it is very sincere and touchy work.

It's not always easy. by ethgri foh's rec: and THIS is the HEAVIEST work I've read and really recommend it. The emotions are real and naked, I practically felt the same pain. Please be ready for heart journey, this is a brutal masterpiece.

Herding Cats by Robbirdthe8th (FictionalFeather) foh's rec: the COOLEST detective wotk, have nothing to say - just read it.

Margay by Oceanbreeze7 foh's rec: one of best ever written Shinsou.

QueNouilleCroustillante (the author of AUs that you won't forget: you may know theirs Bright Stars, but I beg you to read all of their works)

deafmic (you guys do know deafmic, that's deafmic's section for Aizawa and Shinsou, it's all too fucking good)

Mentorship Dynamics

More than a cry by Assassin Bug

Stubborn choices by Madaver

Not In The Job Description by ididntneedanewfandom (prettyvk)

Voices by SquirrelWriter

mind break by baggytshirtsandtiredeyes

The Lilac Garden by Mars_is_Gone

the night was a gelid, bitter, and biting thing by sonrissa

Countdown by Mags_Pie

polished doubt, fake sentiment by s_beth

Consequences by 22FluffyTheSpider123

Legacy by the_crownless_queen

Aizawa's Warmth by LoveableMink

Hitoshi Shinsou's Not-So-Smart Training Method by maarvehl

Keep Him Safe by Mags_Pie

stealing is bad? by borlios

Learning Curve by Cyborg_Franky

Play Along by eillo

from one foot to the other by ohwickedsoul

Family Dynamics

So this section I prefer to divide in two subsections:

fanfics where Shinsou is heavely traumatised and learns how to handle it with Eraser(-mic) help (Section A)

fanfics where Shinsou traumatises world around him and still learns how to handle it (Section B)

P.S.: section B comes first, because I love how authors perform Shinsou. They captured his audacity, intelligence and rebelliousness, he's learning from his traumas but does it shitty, and that is really interesting.

Family Dynamics Section B:

When the Darkness Fades by BlueCats

Growing Up (is harder than it looks) by BlueCats

Concerning (Some-)Things by Tododorkey (ApolloBlackwood)

The Beginning of Always by meow_z_z_z

First Day of School by Jyxnie

Split Lip; Silver Tongue by CreamcheeseBagel

Unforgettable by deafmic

A Lesson in Vengeance by Smurfee

somewhere in my heart of hearts (i knew it all along) by bototyelenol

Call to Eraserhead by sukeruton

surviving on elevated cortisol and spilt coffee by Crykea

How to Win the Sports Festival: A Step by Step Guide by mhwright

Hitoshi Shinsou's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days by Princeliest

Tight-Lipped Belief by Robbirdthe8th (FictionalFeather)

House of the Rising Sun by caprisunontherocks

Family Dynamics Section A:

Just A Phone Call Away by odymcbea

Twist My Words by CreamcheeseBagel

Take Care (of me) by scooter3scooter

it’s in the way he- by scooter3scooter

masterpiece of nature by Brachydios

spare the rod by Brachydios

Not Today (Tomorrow it May Change) by deafmic

You're an Alien? by Badum_tsh

Pardon My Presence by ShiDreamin

Everything Will Be A-Okay by nikouji

Lucky Cat by deafmic

The Misadventures of the Yamazawa Family by ComplicatedSquishy101

Home Alone by fecklessphilanderer

a voice your body jumps to callin' out your name by sparrowsAce, wander_wren

Last (First) Adventure by deafmic

You've Got A Heart As Loud As Lions by Robbirdthe8th (FictionalFeather) (warning! this work contains sexual abuse. I felt it was a difficult decision to include this here, as it is an incredibly complex topic and also incredibly important. This work is written with such respect and love, with such sensitivity, I cannot even begin to express it in words. Please, if this topic is disturbing and triggering to you, please be careful to read it.)

This concludes my top list. I finished reading about two months ago and plan to return soon and see what new and good is being written along this Father-Son trope. If you have any other cool works that are not presented here and you want to share them, send them into comments. I would be very glad! Thank you for attention!

[bellysoupset]

Part 2 of the "Max meeting the gang in the cabin" fic!

It comes before the fics with Luke/Vince I just posted, so Max is actually patient zero of that flu. As per usual, it'll be in the correct order in the masterlist.

-----------------------------

Max was sore all over as they made their way back inside, after nearly three hours of hanging out by the lake. Luke and Bell had vanished inside thirty minutes before anyone else and while the others had been making fun of them for not even attempting to hide they were going inside to get laid, Max had the sneaking suspicion that was not the case.

He collapsed on one of the chairs by the dining room, planting his elbows on the table and running his fingers through his humid hair. They had sat in the last minutes of the sun in order to be at least a little dry before going back inside and drawn straws to figure out who'd get the shower first. Max, of course, had gotten it last, because fuck his luck that's why.

Vince had gotten it first, but he had given his spot to Wendy, instead taking the third place that she had gotten, and he pulled the wooden chair next to Max, sitting down with a pleased noise, "so? Still wanna leave?"

"Don't sound so smug," Max rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. He had a tension headache and his stomach was still bubbling and rolling uncomfortably, "your friends are nice."

"We are lovely," Leo corrected him, draping himself on Vince's back, not even pretending he wasn't listening in. He was slightly tipsy, so were most of them, and it showed on how flushed his face was, "are you hungry? Vince can cook," he pressed his chin to the top of Vin's curls and the dark haired man let out a scoff.

"You're offering for me?" he rolled his eyes, "Jonah, come collect your husband, he's sloshed."

"Am not!" Leo cried out and Max couldn't help but smile as the other guy hiccuped and squeezed his eyes shut, definitely a little over tipsy.

"He's not," Jonah grinned, wrapping his arms around Leo and planting a kiss on his cheek, "c'mon, baby, let's sit down for a bit, while Vince cooks us lunch... Well, dinner by now."

That caused Max to laugh and Vince to let out a huff, "fine, since you guys asked oh so nicely. What are you laughing at? Come help me chop stuff," Vince wrinkled his nose, mamma Monacelli written all over his face as he got up from his spot.

The cabin's kitchen was cramped, specially with Vince inside of it, but Max didn't particularly mind all the times they stumbled on each other. He pressed his stomach against the sink, staring at the chopping board, as Vince grabbed an assortment of veggies in the fridge and then circled Max, sneaking an arm under his in order to drop the items on the board, "little cubs, capisce?"

Max rolled his eyes at the little italian slip, nodding and starting to glide the knife over the bell peppers. Next to him, Vince grabbed a bunch of frozen chicken breasts and started cutting it into long slices, humming under his breath.

It was pleasant and Max would've been all but beaming at having Vince's attention all to himself, wasn't it for the very uncomfortable knot in his belly and the smell of the food starting to make him nauseous.

There was a knock on the open door and both men lifted up their heads. Bella's hair was lying limply next to her face and she had already changed into a new set of clothes, oversized sweatpants and a silky tanktop, "hey, do you guys need help?"

"Nah, go hang out with the rest of them, beautiful," Vince shooed her away and Bella made a little pout, instead of leaving walking further in. Vin chuckled, "I said we got it, Bell."

"I know," she took Vince's knife forcibly, "so what do I do?"

If his stomach wasn't bothering him so much, Max would've appreciated Vince teaching Bella how to cook all the more. He was a good teacher, patient and funny, but the blonde knew that already. The most surprising part of it was how incompetent Bella seemed to be, but she was eager to learn, so at least there was that.

They grabbed all chopped vegetables and the now grilled chicken stripes, throwing it inside a pot with tomato sauce and Max's stomach let out a whine, churning at the smell, right as Wendy knocked on the open door.

"Vin, shower's yours, hon- Are you alright?" Wendy raised her eyebrows, zeroing Max in and both Vince and Bella whipped their heads to look at him, quick as snakes.

Max nodded, white-knuckling the sink's edge, "I'm fine."

"Sit down," Bella bossed and Vince promptly jumped to the side, grabbing a wooden chair and Max by his shoulder, shoving him on it unceremoniously.

"God, stop looking at me like that, I'm fine," Max groaned, planting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands. A burp rolled up, but he stubbornly swallowed it up, "I'm fine, I'm just a little woozy..."

"It's the cramped kitchen?" Bella asked, "do you have claustro- is he claustrophobic?" she interrupted herself, clearly deciding Max was not a trustworthy source about his own well being.

"Not that I know of," Vince's voice was too close and Max dared to move his hands a smidge, only to see the man crouched down in front of him, a hand hovering over Max's shoulder as if he wanted to clasp it, but didn't think he should.

His stomach rolled again and Max moved his hand back up to hide his grimace, swallowing convulsively as the pain tightened the knot inside his belly.

"Oh darling," Wendy's voice was gentle and knowing, "let's get you out of the kitchen, the smell probably isn't helping," she didn't move forward, but Bella did and Max could tell just by their footsteps. Bell's were heavy and sure footed, Wendy's were almost silent, like a ballerina's.

"C'mon," Bella grabbed his arm, while Vince did the same and they pulled Max up in one swift motion. He stumbled slightly, nausea washing over him and covering his skin with goosebumps, making him pale.

"What is happening...?" Leo's voice interrupted them, but before they could answer, Max let out a groan and pulled his arm from Bell's hold, only to promptly stumble back and Vince catch him with one good yank.

"Where are you going?" Vince teased him lightly, keeping Max from faceplanting.

"He's not feeling well, let's take him to the couch," Wendy suggested and Vince hummed in agreement, guiding Max forward. He clearly didn't need the blonde to participate in the walk and only wasn't carrying him out of a sliver of respect.

Max collapsed on the soft surface and promptly wrapped an arm around his stomach, ducking his head to avoid everyone's gaze. God, he wanted to go home.

"Hey," Vince's voice was gentle, the couch sinking as he sat next to him, "what's wrong? You didn't eat anything to upset your stomach..."

Max's cheeks burned with embarrassment and he glanced around the room. Bella was perched on the couch's arm, watching him like a hawk, but Wendy, Leo and Jonah all had the decency to pretend they weren't eavesdropping every word.

"I don't know," Max's voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, "just hurts."

"As in you're going to throw up or shit your pants or like someone is cutting you with a knife?" Bella asked unceremoniously and Vince glared at her.

"Bell, give him some room, would you?"

Max stomach churned and he couldn't help a groan as his mouth got that sticky sensation that preceded puking. Vince's hand was suddenly on his back, rubbing up and down, "hey, do you want a bin? Or maybe go outside or the bathroom?"

"Out-outside," the blonde groaned, although it was the hardest choice. He could barely get up with how shaky he felt, but he wanted out of these people's curious stare. He really wanted to go home.

Vince wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling Max up easily and proving he hadn't need the blonde's aid before, much less Bell's, "alright, hang on-" his voice was strained, but it still seemed effortless how he dragged Max across the small living room and outside the cabin.

As soon as they were out, though, Max braced against the lumber wall, letting out a whimper.

"Aw man," Vince sighed sympathetically, "you're not well."

"I think it's a bug, I-" Max forced a deep breath, trying to ignore the way his knees were threatening to give up under him, "I'm sorry..."

"You've been feeling lousy for how long?" Vince didn't sound accusatory at all, but still a wave of embarrassment washed over Max. He shouldn't be there, making a scene about himself, "Max?"

"Not-not long..." he tried to lie, but Vince squinted at him, dark eyes scanning his face.

"Bullshit," he declared, letting out an annoyed sigh, "since morning, eh?"

"I thought it was nerves..." Max let out a wet burp and cringed, spitting the little bit of reflux that came up with it, "didn't want to ruin the weekend... And I wanted to come."

Vince seemed disappointed, which only caused the churning in Max's belly to get worse. He squeezed his hand against it, bringing up another sickly burp and gagging, but not bringing up anything.

He really didn't have much, only breakfast, from hours before.

Vin moved closer, smoothing the hair on his nape and squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. It was the soft touch, after feeling like such a burden and so overwhelmed for the past hours, that did Max in and his eyes burned, a whimper escaped him, and his belly squeezed tightly enough that he retched and a stream of bile and liquified breakfast splattered on the grass.

He coughed, pressing his forehead against the lumber wall so much that it hurt, and wrapped both arms around his stomach, urging up another stream.

Since he had almost nothing to bring up, he soon was only dry heaving, whole body jerking with the effort. Vince's hand had slipped between his forehead and the wall, noticing the way he was pressing in.

Max coughed, trying to clear his throat from the slimy feeling and then squeezed his eyes shut as the golden light from inside the cabin suddenly bathed the dark garden. They had been out there for so long that it was just night now, not the sunset anymore.

"Thanks," Max heard Vin say, softly, and then a new set of hands touch him. Delicate and tiny, Wendy.

"Sweetheart, I brought you some water," her voice was very careful and slow and Max clammed his mouth shut to stop himself from interrupting her with an empty heave, "I want you to drink it."

He shook his head, letting out a groan, "No-orUurp-" a half burp, half heave hit him and Max spat the acidic saliva, "not gonna stay down..."

"I know," Wendy's fingers ran up and down his arm, rhythmically. Her hand was very cold, like Vince's, so Max assumed he was the one too warm, "but you need to drink anyway, you've been throwing up for too long."

And Vin had just been there with him all that time? Jesus.

Max shook his head, "I wanna go home," he decided, whined really. If he was a little less feverish he might've realized that his request made him more of a hassle than not, but he was feeling too lousy to make sense of it. He wanted his bed, his bathroom, his privacy and to just curl up and not get out of the house for the next ten days, until he forgot all about this humiliation.

"We're going home," Vince promised him, wrapping a hand around his bicep and slowly steering Max away from the puddle of sick he had created, "can you sit down for a minute? I want Wen to check on you first."

He could do that yeah- Max stumbled back, aimlessly, and he fell, rather than sat down on the porch of the cabin. He could vaguely hear the noise coming from inside, Leo saying his name and Lucas answering. Whatever.

"Hey," Wendy's face appeared in front of his eyes, seeming a little dreamy thanks to the golden light and the dark shadows, "hi-" she smiled at him, "Max, I know you want to go home, this will be quick, alright?"

He nodded, not wanting to speak when she was so close and his breath probably was just acid. If Wendy puzzled that together, she didn't show.

Her hands came up to cup his neck, fingers pressing around and tickling him. Without thinking he lowered his forehead to her shoulder and she let out a sigh, rubbing his back, "I know, it sucks..."

She pinched his hand and then shuffled slightly, mumbling, "thanks, hon-" before grabbing Max's chin, "open up, under your tongue-"

He obeyed, still with his head resting on her shoulder, feeling like the ground was swaying under him...

Where the hell had she produced a thermometer from?

As if to answer him, Vince's voice came right by his side, startling Max as he said, "how high is it?"

"Could be lower," Wendy's fingers continued to comb through his hair, "I'm more worried about how unresponsive he is."

"I'm responsive," Max grumbled, voice muffled against her collarbone. She smelled like jasmines, was she aware of that?

"Thanks, it's my perfume," Wendy answered him, causing Max to groan. Great, he had said it out loud. He forcefully pulled back, cheeks burning with embarrassment, and the movement made his head swim.

The only thing keeping him from falling flat on his back was Vince holding him up, a big wrinkle between his eyebrows as they met in a frown, "Max?"

"Uhm?" His stomach wasn't happy at the movement, but there was no way he had anything to bring up. Max grimaced, trying to be responsive, "can you drop me home, please?"

He had known sharing a ride with Vince was a horrible idea.

Vince let out a scoff, "drop you home? Are you crazy?" he rolled his eyes, looking at Wendy in disbelief and she shrugged, as if to say she didn't understand it either, "c'mon, lets get you to the car."

"I'm- I'm really sorry about the whole-" Max meant to gesture around, to the mess, but his arm was too heavy and in the end it seemed he was gesturing to himself. Close enough.

Wendy didn't seem one bit amused, following them to the car, "quit apologizing for existing, thanks," she said sharply, then her thumb was on his forehead, smoothing the frown there, pushing his hair back, "be a good patient and drink water, okay?"

"Yes, doc," Max nodded, although just the mere thought of water made him shudder and get covered in goosebumps. He let his head lean back, closing his eyes. Oh yeah, definitely a fever, the car was swaying under him as if he was in a boat.

Outside, he heard Vince and Wendy whispering. Her voice was too low, but Vince's too deep to not be heard, "No, stay. I got him, he's probably just gonna sleep through the worst of it — yeah, I know. I'll talk with Luke later, he'll live — I promise I'll call if his fever goes up. Pinky swear — Alright, love you too."

Max turned his head, opening his eyes in time to see Wendy tiptoe to kiss Vince and then he got inside the car, in the driver's seat. She crouched down, waving at them.

He let out a sigh, "I'm really sorry, Vin..."

Vince scoffed at that, patting his cheek in an amicable way, pushing his hair back as he backed out of the property and into the dark road, "nah, that was on me. Too much, too soon. Maybe next time we should just aim for a double date, eh? Instead of a whole weekend in the middle of nowhere."

Max snorted, head lolling and cheek pressing against Vin's knuckles, "sure, maybe," he mumbled, feeling a little fuzzy inside that somehow, despite the scene he had caused, Vince clearly still wanted to hang out with him.

[everyone-needs-a-hoopoe]

palestinians on this website have been driving themselves out of their minds since october 2023, past the point of heads full of grey hairs in their 20s, past the point of multiple breakdowns, getting gazans' private documents to prove they're real people while exposing and driving off the very few actual scammers there have been. multiple organisations like operation olive branch and gazavetters have sprung up to try and alleviate the toll this takes on individuals while still saving as many people as possible. ahmed 90s-ghost had a news article written about his successful escape to egypt!

those lovely organisations you listed cannot help gazans right now because they rely on getting aid trucks over the borders, which are kept closed by israel (which is ordinarily responsible for letting the majority of aid through) and egypt. the only people who can help gazans are other gazans and people like us with our valuable foreign currency.

and we need to help! even with a ceasefire agreement, children are being splattered across gaza's few remaining walls because israel never honours these things. families are still starving and freezing to death. people still have to pay rent for apartments with no walls or sleep in tents made of blankets in the pouring rain. every hospital in gaza is a bombed out shell, while wounds go septic in streets running with sewage and lungs fail in air choked with the dust of a nearly flattened city. did you know that one of the terms of the ceasefire was that hostile aircraft are only allowed in gazan airspace for a maximum of 8-10 hours per day? can you imagine living most of your day with the incessant buzzing of death above you, never certain when it's going to come for you? can you imagine how bad it was before that this is an improvement that was fought tooth and nail for?

the people sending you asks use the little internet connection they can get per day on esim cards, and the little phone charge they can buy off anyone who's managed by some miracle to keep a solar panel intact through over a year of carpet bombing, screaming into the void in a language they don't know to beg for their lives. they don't know how tumblr works. they don't know who can help them. they need ANYONE to care that they're dying.

and you don't care, so yes, you are being callous. you would not be the people who sheltered jewish people during the holocaust. you are not a good person. by reporting these blogs without rock solid evidence - evidence actual scambusters like kyra45, mangocheesecakes and neeches work their asses off to find - you are actively sabotaging the fundraisers of dying people. i am not exaggerating when i say that kills people. it has killed people. it is killing people.

i really can't emphasise this enough, much less sugarcoat it: if you've reported multiple gazan fundraisers it's very likely that you've killed someone.

the least you can do is ignore them if you're not going to donate. if you want to be a little more than an everyday nazi with the radio up loud so you can't hear the screams from the concentration camp next door, you could start paying attention to what's on each blog. many have "vetted by so-and-so" on them, or "reblogged by 90s-ghost" who as i mentioned is a real palestinian who escaped gaza who can tell at a glance if their arabic is google translated like a scammer would do. you can check out these vetting blogs and see what they do and who they promote. maybe you could even toss a reblog their way! maybe even a couple of bucks!

it's never too late to start caring. my pinned post has a few links to vetting organisations. top of my blog (under this post now) is a fundraiser led by my best friend for a baby with a failing heart who needs treatment TODAY or he's going to die. one of my friends is even offering commissions for it if that makes you feel better! you know, if it makes a woman starving herself to try and afford treatment for her infant son less of a dirty beggar.

you can stop being callous if you want to. if you have followers or money you can save someone's life. i really hope you'll try.

I'm starting to feel callous for saying this:

Please, Please, Please, if you are in a situation where you need money or have a go-fund-me started, DO NOT send people asks about it.

Make a post with places to donate instead, spread awareness through reblogs, but don't go into strangers DMs or Ask Boxes soliciting donations. It makes you look like a bot, not a real person needing help.

The big scam one I'm seeing right now is individuals "in Gaza" asking for donations. Before Gaza they said the donations were because of an illness. Bots/scammers are using Gaza to pull at your heartstrings and scam you.

Donate to places you can trust. Like Amnesty International, Free The Children/WE Charities, UN Crisis Relief, Red Cross, etc. Places you know are credible.

I feel callous for deleting/blocking/reporting asks like that but just know it is a scam. It's using your empathy against you. Do not fall for those asks. Donate to causes, raise awareness, but delete and block those asks/dms because they are not real people. it's the same copy/pasted story on each one. Do your research before donating and be safe online.

[stellamarielu]

I know we all know how good Declan is in bed. How he caters to his partner’s needs first - how confident he is about it.

But I feel like his first time post Maude would be different. His confidence knocked down a bit. Idk. But just a possible fix/drabble thot 😬

THIS!!

I received a similar request about a month ago and I started writing a fic for it and never finished. [whomp whomp] so anon from december who asked for fluffy declan realizing sex can be about more than just pleasuring his partner, please take this little drabble as my formal apology.

he would be nervous and a little intimidated the first time he had you naked in his bed. he was doing everything in his power to remain composed and in control all evening, but now with you all spread out on his sheets, he felt tense and a little unsure of himself. christ-sake, he had been with the same woman for over twenty years, not to mention that woman had an affair. declan often wondered if it was more than just his work habits that caused his wife to stray from their marriage bed. he was so sure that she was always satisfied seeing as though every sexual encounter started with him between her legs, but now he was in his head wondering if maybe he wasn't as good as he thought he was. what if he wasn't good enough for you. fuck- what if he can't get you off? what if you think he's bad in bed? what if he does something you don't like? what if he doesn't compare to the other- much younger men you've slept with?

he couldn’t seem to stop the thoughts tumbling around in his brain. it must’ve been apparent because you sat up in front of him placing a gentle hand on his chest only to be met with the alarming rush of his heartbeat.

“is everything okay?”

“yeah, yeah.” he’s nodding and you’re not sure if he’s trying to convince you or himself that everything is fine.

“it’s just- i’m feeling a little nervous.” his voice is quiet underneath his breath.

you’ve never heard him sound so shy, it made you want to wrap him in a reassuring hug. the two of you were fully undressed in his bedroom, the situation already vulnerable enough without his worried confession.

“i’m not really used to this.” he’s motioning between the two of you.

“you know, sleeping with someone who isn’t my wife.” as soon as the words leave his mouth he wants to kick himself. what a way to start out– talking about his wife, or ex-wife, or whatever she was to him now.

“it must be strange.” your reply is soft, but still drawing him from his thoughts.

you don’t want him to be anxious, there was nothing to worry about. not with you.

so you take it upon yourself to spur his confidence.

“you know, i think about this a lot declan?”

“i daydream about what it would be like to be touched by you.”

the hand that's resting on his chest begins to brush over tufts of chest hair as it moves slowly, exploring his skin.

"what it would be like to touch you."

your voice is clear and clean but the words coming out of your mouth are so dirty. you have declan's complete attention now, his eyes are trained on you and his heart is still racing underneath your fingertips, only this time for an entirely different reason.

"but we don't have to-" you can't even finish your sentence before you're being interrupted.

"I want to." declan is rushing out his words of consent, his eyes searching yours.

"Good." your voice drops to something far more sultry as you sit up on your knees, using the hand at declan's chest to usher him backwards until he's the one laying on the sheets.

"Maybe I can help you relax a little bit."

you're kissing his neck, each groan that leaves his mouth cheering you on further as your lips descend down his body.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Okay so this is like- super specific- but can you write Jamil with a gender neutral reader who was going into entomology before getting 'transported' the the twst world? I think it would be so funny if he saw a bug in his room and was freaking out meanwhile reader is just going 'awwh look at the lil guy he's so friendly and cute!!' If not though, that's completely okay! Have a great day/night :)

COMMENTS: I also think it would be funny, but in these cases I can't think of a specific scenario, I can only think of headcanons. Another problem is that I'm on Jamil's side on this one. 😅 I don't hate insects like he does, but if I see a spider on the wall I won't think twice about killing it with my shoe.

CHARACTERS: Jamil Viper

TAGS: Funny; GN Reader; Headcanons; Bullet Points

WORD COUNT: 310 words

NOP! NOP! NOP! You're crazy, that's it! If there was the ultimate way to lose points with Jamil, this is it!

He still hates bugs, not you. But you know, friend of my enemy, my enemy is.

However, you don't know that. He hides it too well. But he also doesn't pretend to like you that much.

Despite your clear lack of taste and reprehensible- I mean, questionable career choice, having you around might be useful for him. AKA: You're the one who gets rid of the bugs.

Whenever an insect appears and you are nearby it will immediately come to you and tell you, as calmly as he can, about that insect he found. Why? Because if the insect has your attention, that means that wherever the insect is, you will be too, right? So just stay as far away from you as possible until the insect is no longer a problem.

If he asks you to get rid of an insect, what he wants most is for someone to kill it. But you'll just want to pick it up and release it somewhere else. He'll always prefer to simply annihilate the thing, but as long as you keep it away from him, that's fine.

He will NOT visit you at Ramshackle Dorm. What if you've started some kind of ant far? Or are collecting insects to keep as pets like Jade has the terrariums? Jamil shivers just thinking about it.

Whenever you have a 'what a cute little bug' moment, he will hide as much as possible the extreme disgust he is actully feeling.

If you try to show him the intention, like picking it up and getting close to him... WHAT IN THE NAMES OF THE GREAT SEVEN ARE YOU EVEN THINKING?! DO YOU WANT TO DIE BURNED?! Because you are finally getting him to at least hate you.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[firstelevens]

For the handholding writing meme, #49 (or! Whichever one you most want to write)

49. taking the other’s hand to look for injuries

you are always so gracious with the prompts that you give! I have naught to offer in return but my gratitude and also this deeply silly fic, which could be read as a sequel to this

"Do you think it's clear yet?" whispers Sam, as quietly as he can. The noises that he'd heard just outside have since faded, and his muscles are starting to feel the strain of how tensely he's holding himself.

Bucky frowns, tilting his head towards the door like it'll help him hear better. "I definitely heard footsteps coming this way, and I didn't hear any going back," he murmurs. "They've got to be right on top of us."

"We'd know for sure if we could get eyes on the hallway."

A groan rumbles through Bucky's chest. Sam is pressed close enough to feel it in his own. "Is this about your stupid robot? Again?" he hisses. "I said I was sorry; how was I supposed to know he was in the blast radius when that grenade went off? You weren't even supposed to be there, and neither was your bird."

"If you hate Redwing so much, how come you had Shuri make me two of him?" Sam hisses, moving a few inches back--it's not easy; he doesn't exactly have wiggle room here--so he can glare at Bucky.

Expectedly, Bucky scowls. "I knew you weren't always gonna let me watch your six. How else was I supposed to keep you safe?"

Something squeezes in Sam's chest, achy but in the good way. "Buck," he says softly.

"I'm just saying, I wouldn't have hurt him on purpose," grumbles Bucky. "That would defeat the point."

Sam hums in acknowledgment, dropping his head to rest on Bucky's shoulder. "That's very practical of you," he says. "And here I thought you just had a crush on me."

Bucky snorts, turning to press his lips to Sam's forehead. "What could possibly have given you that idea, hm?"

"The fact that your hand is on my ass, for starters," Sam says, settling more comfortably against Bucky's chest. It's the closest they've gotten to be in months, and Sam doesn't know what he'll do when it comes to an end. "Also the part where you and your whole team showed up to the compound and you brooded in a corner anytime I paid attention to someone who wasn't you."

"I wasn't brooding; I was waiting," says Bucky. "You knew exactly what you were doing."

"Oh yeah? Like you knew what you were doing when you posted up in the common room in a stupid tight t-shirt and those inappropriate sweatpants, waiting for me to come down and get water before bed?"

"They're literally your sweatpants, Sam."

"That was the inappropriate part," says Sam, gently cuffing Bucky on the shoulder. He doesn't bother to pull away when Bucky catches his hand and holds onto it. "I'm trying to be professional and lead a team here, you know."

"Yeah, well, my partner was caught in an explosion, so you have to forgive me for skipping professionalism so I could make sure he was in one piece." Bucky punctuates this by kissing the shrapnel cuts over Sam's knuckles, one by one, then moving his lips to the scar on Sam's wrist, and then again to the scrape on the heel of his hand.

Sam lets his eyes close, pressing his face into Bucky's neck and relishing the familiar scrape of stubble. "Is that what last night was? You making sure your partner wasn't injured?"

Bucky goes still against Sam, his hands no less gentle as they hold Sam close. "You know it wasn't," he says softly. "I mean, I made it clear, right? You know how I feel about you?"

"Yeah," mumbles Sam, right against Bucky's pulse point. "You know I- you know I feel the same way about you, right?"

"I did start to get a sense of that," says Bucky. "Right around the time we had sex on the quinjet after that mission and then you took me home to meet your entire extended family and then we fucked again on the boat. I still don't understand how no one caught us."

Before Sam can respond that given the knowing look Carlos shot him the next afternoon someone definitely almost caught them, there's a very loud, very theatrical throat-clearing noise from right near the door. "Maybe we should re--" he starts to say, before he's cut off.

"Hey, guys," says John Walker, still too-loudly. Sam scowls into Bucky's shoulder at the sound. "Isn't it so weird how all super-soldiers have enhanced hearing? Isn't that just the weirdest thing how we can hear most things through thick walls?"

"Nope," says a voice beyond the door, who Sam thinks might be Ava. He's not sure; he's suddenly too busy being mortified to consider it.

"Holy shit," he whispers, eyes wide open. "There are two other super-soldiers here."

"I know; I'm stuck with them," says Bucky, and then yelps like the big baby he is when Sam lightly swats at his chest and wriggles out of his arms, sitting up with his arms crossed. "What?"

"Bucky," Sam hisses. "There are two other super soldiers here, and they were both on the floor above us, and we were here, in guest quarters with no soundproofing, doing things that were definitely not quiet!"

"Americans! So uptight," calls Alexei, and Sam wants to die a little bit maybe. "Love is beautiful, Captain. You and Barnes, you made beautiful music together."

Sam turns to glare at Bucky. "I'm gonna kill you," he says flatly.

Bucky sits up in bed slowly, like he's worried that sudden movements will spell his doom. "Okay," he says, his hands out in a placating gesture. "You can take your best shot later, but since they already know, why don't I get you some caffeine first? No point in trying to fight someone while you haven't slept."

"And just whose fault is that?"

"Don't pretend we're not both to blame for that," says Bucky, putting all that stealth training to good use as he slips out of the bed, barely jostling it. He bends over to grab those sweatpants again and Sam takes a beat to check out his regrettably cute ass.

Bucky manages to find a shirt, too, a henley that definitely also belongs to Sam. He stops by the bed before he leaves the room, leaning down to kiss Sam's cheek.

"I'm sorry about the...you know," he says, gesturing to the ceiling. "Promise I'll make it up to you, sweetheart."

"You better," says Sam, tipping his chin up for a kiss and fighting a grin when Bucky obliges. He waits for Bucky to make his way across the room, watching until he just opens the door, and then calls out, louder than he needs to, "And bring yourself back to bed along with the coffee, sugar. I'm not done with you yet!"

Bucky instantly goes red, whirling on Sam with betrayal on his face. Sam just grins and blows him a kiss before waving him out the door. As the door closes behind Bucky, he can hear laughter and Yelena loudly ooh-ing from the common area. He sinks back against the pillows, pulling the comforter over his head, and waits for his coffee and for Bucky.

Mostly for Bucky.