#this is one hundred percent set in Slowly and Then All At Once btw

[racingliners]

Shovson champagne 🍾 🥂

Jenson picked up his champagne flute from the table and held it out towards his new husband. He watched, and smiled so adoringly, as Shov adjusted his pale pink tie. “To us.” Shov’s face split into a small but bright grin as he picked up his own glass. “To us.”

Send me a ship/character(s) and a one word prompt and I will write a 5 sentence fic about it

[gloryofluv]

Outfoxed: A Not So Happy Accident

I was going to create a headcanon for this prompt. However, it sounds waaaaay too much fun not to write as a fic. So, as per usual, Rena decided she was going to make herself known and now demands an introduction to her story.

F!MC x Multi

Rated: Mature

Summary: Rena was evaluating her place. Not among demons, or angels, or even magic. No, she was evaluating her place with herself. How not to be helpless for a human in a Devildom that never seemed to just have one regular day.

So, on her path to such a journey of self-discovery, she entrusted the neighborhood ancient sorcerer. (BTW He hates it when you call him ancient and Rena does to get a rise out of him!) How does one simple thing as evaluating her demon pacts cause this mess?

She's now... well, she's now a demon. Who knows how long? Who even knows why??? Well, this was going to be something her and Solomon work on. On top of all the newness of being a demon and learning that rules definitely don't stay the same despite your species or the temporary state of affairs.

The Incident:

Through the course of time through the Devildom, there was really no other human as reliable as Solomon. The sorcerer may have been an odd one, but he certainly knew magic. The pair were sitting in his room just as it was, every other Saturday.

Today was vital for Rena mostly due to the fact that Solomon was going to do some experiments with her demonic pacts. This was quite a bit of trust she was placing on the sorcerer—a milestone for her.

The woman shifted and scratched her nails through her auburn hair before twirling a lengthy lock around her fingertips while reading. It seemed quite intricate what he wanted to do. Testing the actual property of how attuned her pacts were with her magic.

“It’s all a process, I assure you,” Solomon hummed as he slowly stirred a spoon in the small cauldron.

“Sol, it’s not that I don’t trust you,” she murmured.

“But you don’t,” Solomon sighed. “I promise this won’t hurt you. We can’t get into the actual foundation of ritualistic magic if you don’t understand the capacity for your pacts.”

Rena shifted in her yoga pants and pulled down her green t-shirt before sighing. “No, I get that part. I understand the fundamentals of what the incantation is. I also see that it requires the subject to be completely willing. What happens if I don’t know if I am?”

Solomon twitched his nose as his ashen eyes met her form. “Are you? Rena, this is important. If you have any doubts, we shouldn’t do this. I’ve been instructing you for the entire week on what this experiment will do.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m one-hundred percent consenting to this,” Rena voiced with a single nod.

“You’re not just doing this to appease me, are you?” He questioned and set down the spoon on the table.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Excellent, then there’s no problem,” Solomon smiled and pointed to the chair. “Bring the book; the mixture is ready. Remember, it will help enlighten the passive magic from the pacts. You told the brothers about a possible tingle, correct?”

She scooped up the volume and agreed. “I also let them know that it’s just me tapping into that magic. A check-up.”

“Perfect,” he murmured and grabbed the ladle.

Rena ran her hands over her neck as she sat down. The book was peeled open to the page, and Solomon was scooping the solution into a goblet. Why a goblet? Why couldn’t the sorcerer use an ordinary glass? Magic was always so ancient, and it made the young woman’s lip curl as she observed. Such an old and foreign concept that was endearing after his several years of life.

Solomon tilted his head and offered it to her. “What has you amused?”

“You, Sol. You always amuse me,” she replied before taking the silver to her lips.

It tasted like rancid mugwort with a shot of whiskey. The liquid heated over Rena’s tongue and slid down her throat with a bite she wasn’t prepared for. The coughing that followed the serving of this solution didn’t startle the sorcerer, nor did he invade her space. All Solomon did was offer a glass of water.

Rena gulped it down and released a groan while scrunching her nose. “Why can’t we ever drink a cocktail or an ale? Why does it always taste like something similar to sewage?”

“Well, I never claimed anything I brew tastes wonderful, Rena,” he chuckled and thumbed the pages in front of her. “We should begin immediately.”

She breathed in and rolled her neck. “Okay.”

Solomon took his thumb and spoke the incantation before pressing it to her forehead. The tingling through her fingers and toes was as he described—even the quickening of her heartbeat as it pattered in her chest. However, there was something else that he didn’t note.

A sharp tug at her navel made her feel nauseous and caused the muscles in Rena’s abdomen to twitch. She started to count backward from one-hundred as a way to cope with the discomfort, but the longer she attempted to ignore it, the sharper it became.

She wanted to stop. This didn’t feel right. This wasn’t what he told her. Rena lost her tranquil concentration as Solomon finished the incantation. His finger pulled from her skin right before the woman launched to the ground and stifled a sound that neared agony.

“Rena, what’s wrong,” Solomon huffed as he slid to the floor next to her.

Her mouth and fingertips felt on fire as her breath caught in her throat. “I’m burning,” she cried as tears welled in her eyes.

“What?” he snapped. “Everything was accurate. What do you mean? Rena, tell me what’s hurting!”

She howled and raised to her knees, running her hands over her face. Her whole body felt like it was boiling in a giant vat of oil. “Solomon!” she screamed and saw white race through her eyes.

Just for the record. One does not simply grow extra limbs or oddities in a snap. It’s a horrible process of your magical composition changing, and those oddities in question come from inside to the surface. Horns. A shift in ears. A tail. It all has to grow from somewhere.

Clothing tears, whether that be from the subject or the growths. The skin bleeds from the oddities. The restructuring of one form to another is a difficult and painful process, but once it’s done, the person in question flops to the ground unceremoniously. Rena had this experience first hand and wouldn’t wish it on her most loathsome enemy.

“Fuck,” she hissed through panting and tears.

“Solomon, oh my, what happened?” Simeon’s voice entered the room.

“I, honestly, Simeon, it was. I don’t know how this could have happened!” Solomon’s voice sounded coarse and the furthest away from his usual calm demeanor.

A cool hand touched her bare back. “Rena, are you alright?”

She caught her breath and dug her sharp nails into the wooden floor. “I think, I need water,” she croaked.

Shuffling and then the hand traveled to her shoulder. “Let’s get you sat up, but be careful.”

Be careful? Rena was assisted in sitting and winced. Her eyes felt sensitive to the light in the room. It seemed so dim earlier, but now everything glared with color. “What happened?”

Solomon offered her the glass and scowled. “Rena, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t fully comprehend what caused it.”

She brought the glass to her lips, and something tickled her leg, causing her to jump. A matted pillow? Rena reached out and tugged the item, causing a sharp pain to run up her spine. The glass fell from her hand and splashed water everywhere near her.

“What the,” she huffed, and the matted pillow flicked and curled over her lap. “I have a fucking tail!” she cried.

Simeon ducked down, and his brow was tight. “Yes, you do. You also have a new set of sensitive ears, so don’t hurt them quite yet,” he murmured.

She narrowed her eyes and snarled at Solomon. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he huffed and gestured to her. “I explained everything to the fullest this week. This was supposed to be routine. It wasn’t supposed to turn you into…” he trailed off.

Rena jolted from her seat on the floor and paced over to the mirror he had on the wall. Oh, for the love of fucking demons… “I’m a,” she breathed as her breath became shallow.

“A fox,” Simeon sighed.

“A demon,” Solomon corrected him. “She is a demon.”

Rena wiped the blood from her forehead and scowled. The horns curled sweetly in a small curve around her eyes. The large matted ears. Lifting her sweat-coated hair, she noted her human-like ears were missing. How the hell was she going to explain this to anyone .

“Lucifer, we have a bit of a situation,” Simeon’s voice bounced in the room. “Solomon and I are bringing Rena home immediately, and I suggest you meet us there.”

“This is temporary, right?” Rena asked.

Solomon appeared behind her reflection. “I think so? I have to do some research on how this was even possible.”

Rena grimaced and scrubbed her sensitive eyes. “This is going to be a shitshow.”

“Likely, but let’s just hope Lucifer doesn’t flay me before I find a cure to your new conflict.”

“Hopefully,” Rena grumbled and covered her bra with folded arms. “Can you help me get some clothing? I don’t really want to walk around like this.”

Simeon cleared his throat. “I have a sweater that might cover the tear in your leggings as well as keep you modest, Rena. I’ll be right back, and we’ll leave.”

Solomon turned Rena toward him and took a cool cloth to her face, wiping away the clotted blood. “I will work tirelessly on this, I promise.”

“I know, Sol,” she sighed.

So. She was a demon for however long. What the fuck was that going to be like? How the hell was she going to cope with this new experience? One thing was positive; Lucifer was going to be furious. Great.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot

Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!

Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.

HOLY SHIT LOL

THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway

“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that

KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY

AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him

Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids

SPEAKING OF

it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL

man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner

damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it

MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!

I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH

okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though

“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao

(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)

JESUS CHRIST

okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH

but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play

OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT

this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here

NOOOOO

oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words

okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...

and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless

um eXCUSE ME!?!?!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SERIOUSLY

I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

OH THANK GOD

TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!

holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully

NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!

she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET

CHINTETSU!!

well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao

so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu

ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT

lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee

remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard

OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!

real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side

anyway here he goes!

YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it

OH FOR FUCK’S

TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????

DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT

OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???

AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE

Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work

okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji

oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!

DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL

oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES

(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)

“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see

so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS

please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

oh my god you guys they really fucking did it

I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh

anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor

aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people

well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time

so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”

take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED

what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc

[statierogers]

Hello Neighbour - Steve Rogers

Title: Hello Neighbour

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve just sucks at hiding his real Identity. (post Civil war)

Words: 1510

Warnings: None

Genere: Gonna go with Fluffy.

A/N: Okay I got inspired to write this while I was sweeping our veranda last week. Cap didn’t come by there. :D

- Katie xx

My Masterlist

Your name: submit

What is this?

(Y/D/N) - Your dad’s name

(Y/M/N) - Your mom’s name

°°°

Retirement was something to look forward to for most people. Well, not for Steve Rogers. Maybe it was because none of those people were forced to retire. Steve was still in his best days. He was over 70 years old but had the body of a 25-year-old. He could still chase those bad guys around if it weren't for the fact that he was a wanted fugitive — just some annoying detail for him.

After he freed his friends from prison, Steve had to lay low. His decision was Michigan. A small village called South Lake (I just made this up btw). He lived in a quiet neighbourhood. This was what he wanted pre-serum, to live in a place like this with a wife, a couple of kids and a dog. But when he joined the army, he wasn't so sure anymore if this was the right life for him.

At first, he shut himself in his house. Not making contact with anyone. Until it got too dull for him, so he decided to help out around in the neighbourhood. Funnily enough, his disguise which consisted of a beard he grew and flannels held up. That or people just didn't care enough. His life was quiet for weeks. Nothing really happened here. Not until one day a black Audi drove into the driveway of his neighbour's house.

The cute little house belonged to (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N). Steve was currently chopping wood in his backyard when he saw a young woman leave the car. And God was she stunning. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, framing her beautiful face, that had a smile on it the moment she heard the dog barking. She wore boots and skinny jeans and a trench coat. Steve knew she must have been from a city somewhere. Her stylish clothes, sunglasses, and the fancy bag didn't fit in here. His eyes followed her as she entered the house. He felt like he had seen her before. Her face was somewhere in his memory, but he couldn't place it.

It took Steve three days to see the woman again. And this time he couldn't believe it was the same person. Because there she was, in wellingtons and her hair in a ponytail. She was sweeping the fall leaves of the veranda while humming some song he didn't know. He watched her for a bit. Still thinking he knew her. After a while, he realised it was creepy to stare at her like this. He decided just to go over.

"Ma'am do you need some help?" he asked while stepping onto the driveway.

She stopped sweeping and looked up at him. She propped her hands on her broomstick and slightly raised her eyebrows. The woman looked somewhat suspicious of his kindness, definitely from the city. Steve decided to try to introduce himself.

"I'm Steve…the neighbour," he said, pointing at his house dumbfounded.

The woman gave him a once over. This was the friendly neighbour, Steve, her parents had told her about. The moment she had entered the door on Wednesday, her mother had tried to set her up with him. She kept on talking about how strong and handsome he was but also how kind. She didn't know then that this Steve was Steve Rogers. And she was a hundred percent sure her parents did not notice that their neighbour was a superhero. She saw it the moment she looked into those eyes. She had met this man before. About five years ago in the Battle of NY. He had saved her from one of those creatures. She also knew his situation. The government declared him a dangerous man. Something about him not signing something: he wasn't supposed to be here. He was a fugitive. All though she didn't believe that. How could someone like Captain America suddenly be evil? Especially someone who saved her life. And maybe it was because of this or because he was looking at her with a carefree smile she never saw him with on TV, but she decided to play coy.

"So, you are the guy that helped fix my Dad's old motorbike," she said with a smile.

Steve nodded slowly. It was weird seeing him like this, in a blue flannel and with a beard. At least he stayed true to his colours.  It made him look more approachable. It took away his intimating stare. It made him look…normal. Like he was just a neighbour.

"Yes. I did," he answered.

(Y/N) nodded and gave him a quick smile. She stepped down the stairs of her veranda and stretched her hand out. He was quite a bit taller than her.

"I'm (Y/N)," she introduced herself.

His hand shook her's, and she couldn't help but stare at his muscled arms. She couldn't deny how handsome the ex-soldier was.

"My Dad said you are quite good at the heavy lifting. I have a few bags of garden soil to be lifted to the bed in the back garden," she mentioned and tilted her head in the direction of the pickup truck.

Steve agreed to help her with a smile. She didn't know why she asked him; she could do it herself.  And this was Captain America she had to use his strength to her advantage. He grabbed two bags and lifted them with ease while she hosted one up.

"So, Steve. What brings you to South Lake?" she asked him.

They started walking around the house to the garden gate that was wide open. Steve shrugged his shoulders. He decided to stay as close to the truth as he could with his answer.

"Well, It's an escape, really from the city life. I used to live in Brooklyn," he explained.

(Y/N) nodded and decided to see if he would tell her who he was. She was curious how he would lie his way out of it.

"Oh, really? I live in Brooklyn. I used to live up in New York. Man, I still miss this flat. So sad…Oh, drop them here," she said and pointed at the floor next to the flowerbed.

He did as told. It took (Y/N)'s dog less than a second to leave his comfortable spot in the garden and start sniffing at the bags of soil. He probably thought there was food in there. (Y/N) was watching him smiling.

"What happened to your flat?" Steve asked, staring at the dog.

Okay, maybe she was playing with him.

"It got destroyed in the battle of New York. That was a crazy day. I even met Captain America. He saved my life," she said innocently and waited for his response.

Steve realised now why he knew her. It was true. He had saved her. Her talking about him made him very uncomfortable.

"Oh really… I have to go now," he said, pointing behind him.

(Y/N) had to suppress a smile. She was just messing with him. He turned around and started walking off. He didn't want to be rude. But the conversation made him wary of her. Something was wrong.

"Yea, of course. Was nice seeing you again Cap," she called after him.

Steve froze. She knew. Crap. He would have to leave now. He didn't want to threaten the beautiful young woman, but he would if he had to. Slowly he turned around. Shocked. His surprise was even bigger when she had a genuine smile on her pretty face.

"No worries Steve. I won't tell anyone. I still owe you one for saving my life," she said.

And Steve believed her. Maybe it was stupid. But she looked so genuine and nice he couldn't not believe that face. He nodded the relief clearly seen on his face.

"Thank you (Y/N)," he mumbled, giving her a nod.

The smile on her face made his legs feel like jelly for two reasons. First, it was beautiful, and he had never seen a woman look at him like this and second, it scared him. She knew who he was. And she shouldn't. It was dumb of him to think that no one would ever find out. But that it had to be her bothered him. What would she think of him?

"No problem neighbour," she said and squatted next to her dog, putting her hand in his fur.

It didn't matter that she knew. He would just have to call a few friends if word got out. He lifted his hand to give her a small wave. Then he turned around to walk out of the garden.

"The captain seemed to understand because

the next day the cap' went out and drafted a band.

And now the company jumps when he plays reveille

He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B."

Steve couldn't stop a smile spreading across his face as he heard her sing the song.

[silkygoldmilkweed]

“A Burnt Sword,” a Dog Prince, Water, Wine, Kitchen Wenches & Whores, Cersei’s Cunt and a Fool, and finally, Sansa Stark

I know I sound insane but I am now certain that the legend of Azor Ahai is 90 percent sex metaphor, 10 percent actual sword. Forging a sword is less about an actual sword and more about a man being motivated to fight by, above all else, his cock. Bronn put a very fine point on this in “The Dragon and the Wolf.” It’s what soldiers spend their gold on and you fight for clan and family by creating clan and family in the first place by way of your cock.

THE FIRST SWORD: You know how Sandor is always says “Fuck the water, bring me wine”—like, it’s a defining character trait? It’s a metaphor for slaking your “thirst” cheaply. The Azor-Nissa-Lightbringer prophecy section about the first sword breaking in water mentions “go in search of excellent grapes such as these.” In innocence or in desperation, a man drinks cheaply. Given the opportunity, he seeks wine “red as blood.”

Now remember how LF told us Sandor was already killing at 12? I’m sure he was fucking soon after that (here is a magnificent fic about Sandor at that age). He first forged his sword in kitchen wenches and cheap whores. The exact language of Sallador’s telling of the prophecy is “Yet when he plunged it into water to temper the steel it burst asunder.” Male orgasms, how do they go?

THE SECOND SWORD: Second, Azor Ahai plunged his sword into the “red heart” of a lion. Remember how we met young Cersei Lannister in one of the show’s rare flashbacks and she was already callous and spiteful and manipulative and fearless in her way, a beautiful walking deception? Young gullible Sandor Clegane would have fallen for her with only the slightest effort on her part. Red and gold are the house colors of the Lannisters and the lion is their sigil. Lannisters and Cleganes are notoriously codependent. 

This is right about the time that Tywin and Jaime are off fighting in Robert’s Rebellion and Gregor (knighted by Rhaegar himself) is raping and killing Elia and the kids (I personally believe on Tywin’s near-explicit orders but that’s a different post).

Regardless of the exact timeline, Cersei is horny, she sees sweaty, shredded Sandor Clegane around Casterly Rock and sets her sights on him. Before he knows what hit him he is completely in love with the princess and thinks he’s going to serve her forever like Aemon the Dragonknight and of course she completely, maliciously breaks his heart (this is the second sword, forged in the heart of a lion, and then shattered) and destroys his faith in love…because Cersei. (Olenna Tyrell thinks Cersei may be the worst person she’s ever met. Do you think Olenna is unfamiliar with large numbers of truly terrible people?)

Can you think of a more perfect illustration of “a cunt and her fool” (a la Jonquil and Florian) than young Cersei Lannister and young Sandor Clegane? It’s enough to put a man off love for life.

THE THIRD SWORD: All of this hangs over his feelings for Sansa Stark years later. He lusts for the princess (wine not water) and truly he loves her but he is now completely incapable of hoping for a future with her or considering himself worthy or making himself worthy. Now there’s just actual wine and when he’s very very rarely lucky, the chance to kill a worthy foe.

Also, much later, Zombie!Gregor and Cersei duplicate the weirdly intimate “sworn shield with benefits” aspirational relationship status of Sandor and Cersei back in the day. Below is an embrace universally acknowledge as the “bridal carry” and that is a knight in shining armor. (See also weaksauce Tytos–a notoriously puss of a man according to Tywin–and grandpa Clegane, the kennelmaster who saved him with his three hounds.)

(BTW I think my Sandor-Cersei theory explains some of the animosity between Tyrion and Sandor. Also if you rewatch “The Dragon and the Wolf” I swear there is a moment where Cersei checks out Sandor. I spy with my little eye a bit of recognition and nostalgia in her gaze. And then he saves her personally from the wight with that chain yank, even though she very much deserves to be eaten. Note that Gregor, Jaime and her guards did fuck-all to stop the wight from getting to Cersei. Note further that everyone on Team Dany flipped the fuck out when Euron so much as leaned in her general direction. Sandor is a prototypical hero—yes he is—so he just can’t help himself from protecting Ladies in peril, even if they are Evil ladies.)

Of course, Sansa is Nissa Nissa, Sandor’s soulmate and future wife, a worthy woman and a good queen at heart and a princess imprisoned in a tower (Maegor’s Holdfast) and desperately in need of rescue from monsters. But when our story begins, Clegane’s deep cynicism prevents him from seeing the Lannisters as being uniquely corrupt even though he despises all their gold-plated extravagance and their compulsive lying. He assumes everyone is equally terrible. Sansa (and Arya later and Septon Ray) slowly changes and challenges that uniquely hateful worldview. Meanwhile, Sandor Clegane is the unexpected Prince She Was Promised, a dog prince for Sansa Stark instead of a frog prince, if you will. 

It’s only after going away for a long time and engaging in prayer and good works and silent contemplation to simmer him down a little (laboring for 100 days and nights) that he becomes worthy of his wife. Now the Red Sword of Heroes is ready to be plunged in the heart (”heart” is also a metaphor, guys!) of his wife and/or serve in her defense by killing the Night King and saving the realm.

Anyway, I’ve decided teen vixen Cersei fucked Sandor and broke his heart, and Sansa loving him back and repairing his heart and/or kissing him (burned face and/or “his sword”) is the healing love that saves the realm.

RED WOMEN: I believe that the reason Melisandre and Kinvara look the way they do is because R’hollor told someone at some point that Nissa Nissa had the ginger minge and that became the female model for their fire cult. They are always DTF presumed Azor Ahais (Stannis, Jon) because they think that might trigger the magic that saves the world. They are all fake as fuck thanks to the rubies but they are trying to be a flame-haired beauty like Sansa Stark without knowing that she is the model. 

THE PRINCE WHO WAS PROMISED: Sandor being Azor Ahai is also why Rhaegar Targaryen decided to be a warrior. He was studying the PTWP prophecy that he thought applied to him or his heirs and announced one day that he needed, more or less, “armor and a big fucking sword.”

Tune in next season to find out how crazy I may be.

BTW below the cut is the full text of the Azor Ahai/Nissa Nissa/Lightbringer passage in the books. There are a few other scattered mentions you can find using “A Search of Ice and Fire.”

ACOK - Davos V

Melisandre was robed all in scarlet satin and blood velvet, her eyes as red as the great ruby that glistened at her throat as if it too were afire. “In ancient books of Asshai it is written that there will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him.” She lifted her voice, so it carried out over the gathered host. “Azor Ahai, beloved of R'hllor! The Warrior of Light, the Son of Fire! Come forth, your sword awaits you! Come forth and take it into your hand!”

…

“I have attended to it, good ser. Though His Grace frowns so whenever he does see me that I tremble to come before him. Do you think he would like me better if I wore a hair shirt and never smiled? Well, I will not do it. I am an honest man, he must suffer me in silk and samite. Or else I shall take my ships where I am better loved. That sword was not Lightbringer, my friend."The sudden shift in subject left Davos uneasy. "Sword?”

“A sword plucked from fire, yes. Men tell me things, it is my pleasant smile. How shall *** A BURNT SWORD *** serve Stannis?”

“A burning sword,” corrected Davos.

“Burnt,” said Salladhor Saan, “and be glad of that, my friend. Do you know the tale of the forging of Lightbringer? I shall tell it to you. It was a time when darkness lay heavy on the world. To oppose it, the hero must have a hero’s blade, oh, like none that had ever been. And so for thirty days and thirty nights Azor Ahai labored sleepless in the temple, forging a blade in the sacred fires. Heat and hammer and fold, heat and hammer and fold, oh, yes, until the sword was done. Yet when he plunged it into water to temper the steel it burst asunder. "Being a hero, it was not for him to shrug and go in search of excellent grapes such as these, so again he began. The second time it took him fifty days and fifty nights, and this sword seemed even finer than the first. Azor Ahai captured a lion, to temper the blade by plunging it through the beast’s red heart, but once more the steel shattered and split. Great was his woe and great was his sorrow then, for he knew what he must do.

A hundred days and a hundred nights he labored on the third blade, and as it glowed white-hot in the sacred fires, he summoned his wife. ‘Nissa Nissa,’ he said to her, for that was her name, 'bare your breast, and know that I love you best of all that is in this world.’ She did this thing, why I cannot say, and Azor Ahai thrust the smoking sword through her living heart. It is said that her cry of anguish and ecstasy left a crack across the face of the moon, but her blood and her soul and her strength and her courage all went into the steel. Such is the tale of the forging of Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes."Now do you see my meaning? Be glad that it is just a burnt sword that His Grace pulled from that fire. Too much light can hurt the eyes, my friend, and fire burns.” Salladhor Saan finished the last grape and smacked his lips. “When do you think the king will bid us sail, good ser?”

ADOD - Jon III

“He would know.” Aemon Targaryen had seen nine kings upon the Iron Throne. He had been a king’s son, a king’s brother, a king’s uncle. “I looked at that book Maester Aemon left me. The Jade Compendium. The pages that told of Azor Ahai. Lightbringer was his sword. Tempered with his wife’s blood if Votar can be believed. Thereafter Lightbringer was never cold to the touch, but warm as Nissa Nissa had been warm. In battle the blade burned fiery hot. Once Azor Ahai fought a monster. When he thrust the sword through the belly of the beast, its blood began to boil. Smoke and steam poured from its mouth, its eyes melted and dribbled down its cheeks, and its body burst into flame.”

[butterflypov]

Hummingbird

Summary: Peter Parker falls for lab partner!reader when he notices her drawing a bird during class and turns to his pal Spider-Man to follow her to a cafe where she loves to draw and he loves to admire her

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: literally 1 curse word, all of it is just fluff

A/N: i didn’t proofread as usual so sorry if it’s complete shit and i apologize that literally every single one of my stories has ended the exact same i’m an awful writer sjksjsksjsjk btw when will Tom finally show us his new hair he’s making me so nervous uGH

Words: 2347 (srry if it drags on and is super boring)

It was a normal 3rd period in chemistry class as the teacher droned on about the names of certain elements of the periodic table.

Peter’s boredom level had surpassed extreme as his eyelids began to droop closed. He had been losing excessive amounts of sleep having to stay out until the late hours of night saving lives and stopping robberies. He was slowly starting to grow used to his sleep schedule though, sometimes too tired to slip off his Spider-Man suit when he snuck in through his window at three in the morning.

When the clouds in the sky unmasked the blinding sunshine showing through the classroom’s windows Peter’s eyes widened in a desperate attempt to stay awake. As he went to stretch he caught a glimpse at his lab partner, Y/N.

Her hair had fallen loose in her face as her mechanical pencil worked it’s magic on her piece of notebook paper.

Peter kept his gaze on her hands, watching her sketch out the details of a gorgeous bird. His heart seemed to warm up at her drawing, eyes switching to look closer at her face. Her eyes narrowed at her doodle, head resting in the palm of her hand lazily.

A tiny piece of a smile was snug comfortably in the corners of her mouth. She looked at peace, her eyes flicking to the nature outside every once in awhile. Chunks of sun radiated against the left side of her face, wedging themselves in between her eyelashes making her look velvety soft whenever she blinked.

Peter didn't realize that he was staring until the teacher called his name.

“Peter?” Mr. Smith mustered again and Peter’s head twisted in the direction of the teacher.

Everybody’s eyes, including Y/N’s, trailed to his figure, waiting for him to retort.

“Oh, uh, the equation to find the percent yield is laboratory yield over theoretical yield. One hundred is equal to the percent yield.” he replied, hoping his answer wasn't completely different then the question.

Mr. Smith turned his back to the class and began to write Peter’s phrase on the chalkboard. “That is correct.” he mustered, pressing the piece of chalk to the green surface on the wall.

Peter looked at Y/N again and she was back to pressing pencil to paper, peacefully sketching out the lines of her bird. He shook his head, blinking away his obsession with staring.

When the last period of the day ended and Peter was eager to sneak into his Spider-Man suit he decided to search for Y/N, hoping to walk her home or start a conversation about her drawings with her.

His eyes found her walking out of the doors while he was striding down the hall, people bumping in his way as he tried his best to catch up with her.

Stepping outside, looking left and right, his chest heaved out a big sigh at the realization of losing her. He had given up at his journey in finding her, choosing to just go to the alleyway to change instead.

After getting on his tight red and black clothing he went to locate more crimes and more people to teach a lesson, until when he spotted her figure walking down the street.

He shot a web to swing closer to her.

She reached a cafe, pulling the door open and stepping inside. Peter could see through the building with it’s clear windows as she greeted the cashier, telling him a few words before taking out her wallet and handing him a couple of dollars. Y/N picked a perfect seat in a booth where Peter could see her face perfectly but couldn’t exactly recognize the words on her phone screen even if he asked Karen to zoom in for him.

Y/N fished out her sketchbook, earbuds, pencils, and erasers from her backpack, setting them on the table. A waitress set a cup of what looked like coffee in front of Y/N and said a few more words to her before leaving.

Minutes had passed of Peter admiring her smile and draw, occasionally taking a sip of her drink.

“Karen, is it weird that I’m watching Y/N?” Peter asked his computerized companion, embarrassed of himself. Karen kept quiet for a couple of seconds before answering.

“Who is Y/N?” she questioned. Peter briefly chuckled. “Uh, well, she’s this girl who sits next to me in chemistry. She’s really pretty and nice and she can draw really well. We’re sort of friends I guess.” he responded, rubbing the back of his neck with his gloved hand.

“Do you have feelings for her?” Karen asked and Peter went into deep thought.

Did he?

The question never really popped up until now and he really had to think about it.

He liked the way she laughed whenever he told her a stupid science pun while they were supposed to be working on a project together. And he liked watching her concentrate so hard on an equation. For God’s sake the realization of him adoring her as she drew had just seemed to hit his brain.

“I mean,” he muttered. “now that you say something about it. I guess I do.”

A smirk was evident under his mask at his comprehension of his liking for Y/N. He really did like her and it was exciting to him that he could actually speak/had spoken to somebody he liked for once. Actual words and not gibberish.

It had become a daily occurrence for Y/N to go to the cafe everyday after school and work on her drawings. Peter or Spider-Man had seemed to unknowingly tag along with her, sitting on the fire escape of the apartment building across from the coffee shop, watching her doodle along while listening to her music and sipping on the exact same coffee she orders every time she walks in there.

Peter had perceived that Y/N was working on the same drawing whenever she would open her sketchbook and begin to scratch the paper with her pencil. He didn’t exactly know what the subject of her big piece of art was but he imagined it was another bird.

Every boring lecture in chemistry he would slyly look in the corner of his eye and see her drawing a bird in the corner of her worksheet.

Although each scribble was different. Sometimes it would be a bird drinking out of a bird bath or a bird soaring through the clouds.

Peter noticed that on rainy days she liked to draw hummingbirds. He didn’t have a reason for why she did but of course it didn’t really throw his train of thought off of it’s tracks.

The bell for the next class rang and Y/N routinely shoved her worksheet inside of her notebook and put it in her backpack. When she picked her backpack up though her sketchbook fell to the ground with a gentle thud. Peter’s hand landed on it first, picking it up, some of the pages brushing close to falling open. He did sneak a peek at some though, but wasn’t quick enough to recognize what they all were.

“Sorry about that.” she apologized with a giggle. His eyes met hers while her small smile stayed pasted on her face as he gave the book back to her. “It’s no problem.” he blessed.

“Thank you.” she mumbled. Her heart was beating out of her ears at the secret intimacy that they were both feeling for each other at the same time. She dropped it in her backpack, letting her eyes trail to the floor in bashfulness while tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

School ended the equivalent time as always and Peter was thrilled to change back into his alter-ego, anxious to watch Y/N continue to draw again.

Except when he swung to same old fire escape it came to his attention that she wasn’t there this time. She wasn’t waiting for her coffee or scrolling through her music library to find a new song like usual. She was nowhere to be seen.

Peter’s eyebrows turned down in confusion. He looked down the street. Nobody but regular pedestrians.

“Okay, Spider-Boy.” he heard somebody say. He turned to face them and there she was climbing out of the abandoned apartment building’s window onto the rusty metal below her feet.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Uh.” he stuttered nervously.  “Tell me why you’ve been following me for the past week?” she ordered, throwing her backpack to lay beside her legs. He cleared his throat, anxiety burning in his lungs. “What? I h-haven’t been following you?”

She rolled her eyes, a devious grin on her lips and her right eyebrow raised. “I’m not stupid,” she told, crossing her arms. “I know you come here and sit on the edge of this exact same fire escape and keep an eye on me like you’re part of the police.” She noticed a familiarity in his voice but ignored it like she didn’t really care.

Spider-Man sighed and waited awhile to answer her. “I-” he began but paused himself like he was almost scared to tell her the truth. “I like to watch you draw.” he said but faded his sentence out like he didn’t want her to hear it.

But she understood every word he said.

She swallowed the saliva in her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him. “You come here everyday….to watch me draw?” she repeated like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. “Yeah.” he confirmed.

Her face kind of lit up at her awareness of his cute action. “Seriously?” she asked, a softer facial expression spread on her face now that she had thought it was quite adorable that he was fond of her drawings. “Mhm.” he murmured.

“That’s sweet,” she acknowledged. “how can you see what I’m drawing from all the way over here?”

He cackled. “I actually can’t really see what you’re drawing, you’re more of my attention most of the time.” he admitted, turning embarrassed. She smiled, her cheeks heating up and making sure to look everywhere but at him.

“Well do you at least want to look at some of my sketches?” she offered.

Peter smiled behind his red mask, happy to see this whole situation wasn’t turning into complete shit.

She took her sketchbook out of her backpack and gave it to him. What she didn’t want him to know was that she was practically handing over her whole life to him but for some odd reason she felt like she could trust him.

He flipped it open revealing all kinds of subjects and ideas. The pages were filled with fantastic pencil drawings of people, flowers, birds, and-

Peter ceased his fingers from turning the next page when his eyes settled on the lead marks.

It was a drawing of him.

“You stopped?” she recognized.

“W-who’s this?” he asked, in hopes to get her to drag on about what she knew about him.

She walked over to stand beside him and when she saw who he was talking about a smile spread across her face. “Oh, that’s Peter Parker,” she replied and giggled. “he’s the guy I like.”

Peter was left speechless.

She liked him back. She just admitted to liking him and she didn't even know it was him behind all of the red and black.

“This is an old drawing though,” she said and began to flip several pages until she reached the last page that was filled before the blank pages she hadn't filled yet. “I’ve been working on this for a couple of days.”

It was beautiful. The detail of his face and his hands were absolutely breathtaking and it looked so close to looking like an actual photograph instead of a drawing. He felt so in love with her. “I really love sketching out his eyes and his smile the most. I’m not sure why. I just think those are my favorite features about him I guess?” she explained.

“You know, I’ve actually heard a rumor that you two know each other?”

Spider-Man looked at her and really took in her beauty. The colors of orange and pink that mixed together from the sunset to made her skin glow, her eyes that twinkled when she looked at him, and the light breeze that blew her hair back. It all made her look perfect.

She was quite aware that he was adoring her once silence descended into the air. She didn't mind at all though, she actually liked it. It made her feel treasured.

“C-can I kiss you?” he asked politely, hands closing her book simultaneously.

Peter was definitely not used to being this confident but of course he didn't seem to care at the moment.

Y/N wasn't really taken back because for some reason she had been oddly enough waiting for him to make a move.

“Hm, now that requires revealing your identity Mr. Superhero, would you really want to do that?” she teased. Peter turned his body in her direction.

Peter felt the urge to do it, like he really did trust her, like he knew in his heart she wouldn't dare to tell a soul about his biggest secret.

“Can I trust you?” he asked like he needed confirmation for himself.

She looked away from him for a couple of seconds and then set her gaze back to it’s original spot. “You can trust me.” she promised, biting her bottom lip.

He grabbed the red material from the back of his head and yanked it forward, his hair flopping in his face.

Her eyes widened, but she didn't move at all.

She almost didn't feel surprised, like somehow she had known all along that it was him.

“Peter Parker,” she purred, moving his singular curl that had fallen out of place back to where it was. “I should’ve known.”

He grinned at her reaction, taking her chin between his fingers and leaning in, pressing a warm kiss to her lips.

[nxrcissamxlfoy]

153+156 for Draco/charlie?😘😘😘😘 Loved your dreville drabble btw!

for @slytherdornet and @hprarepairnet summer challenge (sort of?)

Charlie Weasley was just standing there, dangerously close to him, casually resting an elbow on the bar behind them, looking out over the dark beach as if everything were perfectly normal.

Draco shifted his weight, uncomfortable with the proximity. One hundred percent because he was a sea drenched Weasley and not at all because his arms and chest were somehow naturally perfectly muscled, tanned, and freckled. Or because of the dragon tattoo sleeping on his left pectoral.

He was just about to set his drink down and take his leave, find a bar somewhere far from all of the wretched sand, when Charlie sighed.

“It’s been a good day, hasn’t it?” he said, his blue eyes reflecting the bonfire a few meters in front of them.

Draco didn’t respond immediately. He hadn’t wanted to come to this little gathering in the first place. He hated sand, hated sea water, hated all the screaming birds flying about, hated the whole idea of a forced friendship between Pansy’s friends and Weasley’s. His only solace was that there had been a open air bar, with shade and fans overhead, and a proper floor up off the sand, and he’d been happy to sit there, drinking and watching and judging and waiting for the sun to retreat so that he could too.

But then they’d started the fire and even more people showed up and Draco had resigned to waiting it out, and later smothering Pansy in her sleep.

And now this; a Weasley, trying to make conversation with him.

“It’s been something, anyway,” Draco mumbled, easily keeping his voice bored and unimpressed. He dropped his empty glass on the bar between them, and didn’t notice when Charlie flexed a few fingers to the bartender to order another round. 

“I think you had the right idea, sitting up here out of the sun all day,” Charlie said, seemingly ignoring the tone in Draco’s voice. “Of course, with skin as fair as yours I bet you burn just thinking about the sun.” 

He shifted his weight to lean more onto his arms and Draco tried not to notice his muscles rolling with the movement. “Look,” he started, eyes pointedly focused on the fire several meters in front of him, “I’m here because Pansy begged me to be here. I’m not particularly interested in making friends.” 

Charlie chuckled and the bartender arrived with two drinks, once of which Charlie handed out to Draco. “I’m sorry,” he said, taking a drink and looking over the party. “I’m horrible at this. I’m not interested in making friends either.” 

Slowly, Draco took the glass, eyeing Charlie with caution and now trying to figure out what he was getting at. “All right, then,” he drawled, taking a small sip.

“No, I’m flirting with you,” Charlie stated, now looking directly at Draco.

Draco swallowed hard, grateful that he hadn’t choked on the liquid. Never had anyone been that forward with him, that up front. But then, he was dealing with a Weasley, and he really shouldn’t be surprised that there was no finesse involved. 

“Oh, well,” he started, setting the glass down and turning towards Charlie, “then that’s a different story all together.” 

[awkwarddezzy]

Kitten (Dan x reader)

Pairing: Dan x reader

Genre: romance, fluff, smut in general

TW: swearing, dirty talk, light bondage, spanking, master/pet roleplay

Word count: 1,941 (I tried not to make it too long)

Happy Valentine’s Day lovelies! So sorry I took over a month to post my first imagine fic. I’ve been trying to ease my way into a comfortable routine in a new college semester after all the stress from last semester. I promise, I’ll get back to those requests I put off from doing for the last handful of months.

Btw how do you like the new formatting? I prefer it this way and to use GIF’s over my photo collages for your visual instead.

Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you guys the good news, but I keep forgetting. RL DAN AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER. We’ve been spending the last few weeks together and rebuilding our relationship after the goddamn disaster of emotions during winter break. We’re very happy now. We moved past his wrong choice and he’s doing so much to make up for it. Long story short, “she” lied about the whole lockdown thing and now she’s apparently dating one of RL Dan’s “friends” (I say it like that because RL Dan hasn’t forgiven this friend for something else that’s an entire different story). What a complicated world we live in. 😅

This imagine has been in my head for the last several days. I knew I wanted to post something for St. Cupid’s Day, and what better idea than to return with some smut? I still got my requests to take care of and this is my way to transition back into that kind of writing. Also, RL Dan and I have been getting a bit frisky too lately, so this is also a bit of a cultivation of my, ahem, raging kinky thoughts. Anyway, I hope ya’ll enjoy. I blame RL Dan for putting me back into this mindset lol.

Standing in the bathroom of your boyfriend’s flat, you take a calculating look on the mirror. You bite your lip anxiously. Dan has no clue you’re doing this for him. On the most loveliest day of the year, you decided to do more than hearts and flowers as your gift for him.

Breathe, (Y/N). You’re doing this for Dan. You want this. You know he wants this.

You giggle softly. This is Dan. You know he’s going to ravage you as soon as you walk out this door, into the lounge, and he lays your eyes on you. You can practically imagine him undressing you with his eyes. Those warm mocha-shaded orbs that’ll darken with lust during your “nights of passion.” 

“Babe?” you hear Dan call out from the other side of the door. “What’s taking you so long? I got (your favorite romantic movie) set up.” 

“C-coming.” Which you’ll probably be doing multiple times tonight.

You nod at the mirror. It’s Valentine’s Day. You’ve dated Dan for nearly a year. His friends and family adore you. Your friends and family approve of him. You two are hopelessly in love with each other. You two have slowly pushed through boundaries of your physical relationship. Tonight, you’re taking the initiative to push it just a little further. 

You unlock the door, swinging it open and heading back to the lounge. Dan is on his usual spot on the sofa, dressed in a casual pair of black pajama bottoms and his green camouflage jumper. He looks up when he hears your enter, and his audible gasp has you internally dancing in joy. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles. “(Y/N), what’s the meaning of this?” 

“Surprise,” you say softly. 

His eyes roam over the length of your body. Thanks to (B/F/N), she helped you put together your outfit for the evening. (F/C) lacy boyshorts. Black lacy camisole. No footwear, because as tempting as it was to complete your attire with a pair of red heels, you found something better to do the job. 

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” 

You smirk. “Meow.” 

A pair of black cat ears with blue, purple, and black roses shipped from Hot Topic’s online store is perched on top of your head. All the R-rated fanfiction you’ve read over the years led you to click the purchase button while you did your internet shopping. Not only did the accessory match the clothes, but you knew the colors would trigger Dan’s inner dominant side. 

It’s there. All he needs is a little push. 

He groans. In a matter of seconds, he’s off the sofa and has his arms around your waist. He cups your face in his large hands, gazing down at you with a soft but carnal expression. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” 

He grins. “Oh, it’s a happy one indeed.” 

Leaning down, he presses his lips to yours. You snake your arms around his neck, burying your fingers in his hair. You push yourself closer to him until the lower half of your body touches his. You can feel his hardness through his pajamas. 

A soft groan escapes your lips. You can’t wait any longer. 

“Bedroom?” you mumble. 

He nods wordlessly. You grab his hand, and together you two walk to his room. There’s a palpable tension in the air. Nerves fill your lungs as you think about the rest of the night. Judging by the firm but reassuring grip Dan has on your hand, he’s most likely going to give in to his inner beast. You enjoy whenever that side of him slips during sex, though a part of you remains having doubts. 

Will you live up to his standards? 

Will you be able to comply if he converts into full-on dominance? 

“(Y/N),” Dan speaks once the two of you are in his room and he closes the door. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” 

You nod. It’s one of the few things you’ve ever been one hundred percent ready for. 

“You can have me any way you want me,” you say. “I’m all yours tonight.” 

He looks at you coyly. “Really?” 

“Really.” 

A corner of his lips tilts upward. “Is my kitten ready for me?” 

You flush. Kitten… sounds fitting.

“Yes… master.” You reach into the lone back pocket of your boyshorts and pull out a (F/C) scarf. “Kitten has something for you.” 

He stares at the scarf thoughtfully. “What does kitten want me to do with it?” 

You step toward him, giving him the scarf. “Master wants kitten… to be tied.” 

“Do you now. Then hands behind your back.” 

You do as he says. You wait a few seconds as Dan loops the scarf around your wrists, then secures it with a double knot. You move your wrists slightly. It’s tight enough so it won’t fall off, yet still slightly loose so you can move your hands around. 

“On the bed.”

Once again, you obey his command, flopping down onto the mattress. 

“Kneel.” You move onto your knees so your ass faces him. 

“Mmmm…” You close your eyes as you feel his palm caress one of your ass cheeks. “So… delectable.” 

You giggle. His choice of words for your butt amuses you. 

That giggle instantly turns into a yelp when his palm slaps against your satin-covered buttocks. 

“What’s so funny, kitten?” 

You bite your lip. “N-nothing master.” 

“That’s what I thought.” His fingers slip through the boyshorts, sliding it down your legs. His breath hitches once your underwear hits the floor. Bingo. 

You’re startled when he flips you so your back is on the bedsheets. You gaze at him with hooded eyes. “What will you do now, master?” 

“What does kitten want?“  

Your body warms. Is he really asking me to say it? “You know what I want.” 

“Then say it.” 

“Y-your hands master.” 

“Mmmm-hmmm.” His fingers brush along your bare thighs. “And where does kitten want my hands.” 

“Everywhere.” 

“Fuck…” His hands move to the straps of your camisole, dragging it down your body and throwing it to the floor to join your discarded underwear. He blinks when he notices that you aren’t wearing a bra. 

It was (B/F/N)’s suggestion. She thought it would be “easy access” for Dan. 

His lips ghost over your collarbone and down your chest until it hovers over your breasts. You let out a breathy moan when his tongue licks over one of your mounds. You arch your back, silently begging him to do more with his mouth. For a brief second, you wish your hands aren’t tied; by now, you would’ve taken care of matters yourself. 

As if he can read your thoughts, his mouth fully engulfs your breasts while his thumb fiddles with your neglected one. Your thoughts temporarily shuts down, your mind only focused on the sensation of his lips. You whimper when his teeth lightly scrapes at your nipple. The slight pain is making you more of a mess. 

“Dan…” 

His mouth and hand ceases their movement. He lifts his head to look at you. 

“Who’s Dan?” he asks with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know of any Dan.” 

Shit, he’s really into this. “S-sorry master.” 

“Tsk, tsk.” He inches his body away from you. “I’m disappointed in you, kitten.” 

“It was a mistake, sir.” 

“It is… but a mistake has its consequences.” 

You gulp. What’s Dan going to do to you?

You brace yourself for the likelihood of another spanking, so you’re surprised when his hands trails down the length of your body and makes their way to your now moist pussy. You exhale harshly when two of his fingers suddenly thrust into you. Your reaction results in a grin slowly appearing on his face. 

“You like that kitten?” 

You nod, unable to elicit any words. His thumb joins in on the action, rubbing moderately-fast circles on your clit. You spread your legs wider. You buck your hips to meet his fingers – whatever punishment he has planned, at least you’ll receive an orgasm out of it. 

Except you don’t. 

You whine when Dan withdraws his fingers. He smirks at your annoyed expression, playfully raising an eyebrow. “What��s wrong, kitten?”

Damn you. I’m not letting you have the upper hand.

You resist your whine. “Nothing master.” 

“Really.” 

“Yes master.” 

You bite your lip. “Sir, why do you still have your clothes on?” 

“Hmmm… seems like kitten thinks she’s running the show.” 

You blush. “It was just a question, sir.” 

 He chuckles, patting your head. “Don’t worry, kitten. Do you want them off?” 

“Yes master. I’d like that very much.” you reply enthusiastically. 

“Anything for my kitten.” 

With your pussy still longing for a release, you watch as Dan removes his clothes. You sigh in content when he lifts his jumper and throws it off, exposing his toned bare chest. Your lick your lips when he pushes his pajamas and boxers down his legs. And this… this is all mine. 

Once Dan’s closed are all gone, he joins you back on the bed. He hovers over your body, peppering kisses on several areas of your skin until he reaches your face. Your lips meet, and you pour your sexual frustration into the kiss. You suck on his upper lip, even biting it a couple of times. He practically shoves his tongue through your mouth until it’s as if you can feel every inch of it. You absolutely love it. 

“Please master,” you beg when your mouths disconnect.  

“Please what?” 

“Please… fuck me.” 

He smiles. “As you wish, kitten.” 

You moan in relief when he finally enters you. Hips flushed against his, you’re even more relieved when he reaches behind you and unties the scarf, throwing it to the floor to join your discarded clothes. His mouth nips at the column of your neck. With your now free hands, you grip onto his shoulder blades. 

“Yes…” you hiss. “So good.” 

He forgoes his usual gradual pace, instead going for an immediate quick pace. Pounding into you relentlessly, your moans reaches a higher pitch that could rival any belting singer. You don’t care how loud you’re being. Phil’s not around and your neighbors should understand it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s not every day you get a dominant, oh-so-sexy boyfriend. 

“I love you,” you groan, not caring that you’re breaking character. He inches away from your neck to look at you. 

His own mask falters, brown eyes filled with adoration. “I love you too. Now come for me, (Y/N). Come on master’s cock.” 

You yell his name in ecstasy, your inner walls fluttering around him. Your arms hold him tighter against you. You swear you see fireworks over your eyelids, because all you can see is a spontaneous explosion of bright colors. Your body shakes, and as Dan reaches his peak too, you bite his neck to contain any more screams. As loud as you are, you don’t want his neighbors to think you’re being murdered. 

“Ah…” you breathe out when Dan pulls out of you. Your hair is tangled and your cat ears are haphazardly close to falling off. 

“We should’ve done that sooner,” he muses. 

“Ya think?” 

He laughs, moving so he lays on his back. “That wasn’t too much for you?”

"Nope.” You lay your head on his chest. “It was perfect.” 

“That’s all that matters, love.” 

The two of you lay in comfortable silence for several seconds before you angle your head up. 

“Again?” you ask. 

“Already?” he says in amusement. 

“It’s not even midnight. We got time.” 

He smiles at you mischievously. “Well then.” You squeal when he tackles you so your back returns to lying on the mattress. “There’s more where that came from, kitten.”

I actually do have those cat ears. There were a few different choice colors when I went to Hot Topic to purchase them. I ultimately chose the one I wrote in the fic since the colors suit me and purple & black are RL Dan’s favorite colors. The blue is a bonus. It’s so adorable and RL Dan gets all mushy whenever I wear them.

Idk why I didn’t write this sooner. I had so much fun working on this. 😍 To save this as my comeback for 2017… I’m glad I waited.

[mgtow-shenanigans-posts-blog]

Circumcision Drives Men into the Arms of Predatory Women

            As Stardusk and Bar Bar have made clear, men are primarily motivated by their sexual desires. The desire for sex felt by a man is nature’s way of pushing men to keep reproducing and to ignore the men whose lives have been ruined by this same decision—to marry and to have children, only to be divorce-raped by a predatory woman who oh-so-believably told them they they were not like that, oh no, no way. With the state enabling this sort of behavior, MGTOW exists in its current form as a growing number of men, many of whom do not even know the term MGTOW, stepping back from women and from marriage.

               Today, I would like to discuss a modification to the male body, one that some may describe as minor and merely inconvenient, but which highlights male disposability, gynocentrism, and the state of men as chattle (an early Straughan essay on the male empathy gap). I intend to discuss how the procedure in question changes male sexuality, so that men are driven even more strongly by their attractions to women.

               This modification that I have in mind is called circumcision in cutting cultures, although a more accurate description is male genital mutilation. Circum is the Latin word for “around,” and cision indicates that we’re talking about cutting something. But what is it that we’re cutting around?

               What most cut men take it to mean is that someone has cut around his penis, removing excess useless skin to make his penis a sleek, well-honed instrument of Stacey-boning. Of course, this just begs the question, “is the ‘skin’ that is removed not also a part of the penis?” Follow this link to find a complete list of the functions of the foreskin, including sexual sensitivity. Removing the foreskin removes or reduces all 16 functions. I’ll particularly highlight the statement on sexual pleasure.

“Denniston reported that some circumcised men would not have the operation again because of loss of sexual pleasure.[61] Kim & Pang (2006) reported that 48 percent of Korean men in a survey experienced loss of mastubatory pleasure after circumcision as compared with 8 percent that experienced increased pleasure and 8 percent reported improved sexual life, but 20 percent reported worsened sexual life.[66] Solinis & Yiannaki reported that 16 percent of the men in their study reported a better sex life after circumcision but 35 percent reported a worsened sex life.[69]”

Dictionary.com defines mutilate as “to injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts.” If parts of the penis are killed by being removed, and the remaining tissue loses many functions, including sexual sensitivity, the circumcision is clearly a misnomer, and male genital mutilation (MGM) is a far more fitting name for our procedure.

Now that I’ve established what I’ll call it, let’s move on to how circumcision affects men. From CIRP (linked before),

“The alteration to the sexual organ causes many circumcised males to change their sexual behavior. Foley reported that circumcised males are more likely to masturbate.[10] Hooykaas et al. (1991) reported that immigrant (mostly circumcised) males have a greater tendency to engage in risky sexual behavior with prostitutes as compared with Dutch (mostly normal intact) males.[23] The U. S. National Health and Social Life Survey found that circumcised males have a "more elaborated" set of sexual practices, including more masturbation, and more heterosexual oral sex.[30] The British National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (2000) reported that circumcised males were more likely to report having a homosexual partner and more likely to have partners from abroad as compared with normal intact males.[56] Circumcised men are significantly less likely to use condoms.[38] 50 Many men in the Solinis and Yiannaki study reported decreased sex life after circumcision.[69]”

So we can say that MGM reduces men’s sexual responsiveness. The roll-over of the foreskin is intensely erotic, and without the normal, exquisite responses of the Meisner’s corpuscles in the foreskin, men turn to other means of arousal, such as a variety of sexual partners, a variety of sex acts, or just foregoing condoms so that men at least feel something. [As an aside, note that men who do not wear condoms are at the mercy of any willing Stacey who claims she’s on the pill. Seeking sexual variety without condom use is one of the surest ways to eventually meet and be victimized by predatory women looking for child support. Be careful out there, gentlemen.]

               For any circumcised men, an important question that eventually one attempts to answer is, “Why? Why did this happen?” And here you encounter a dilemma—there appears to be a multitude of explanations. But, as Mykeru has pointed out (I strongly recommend this video, btw), most of these reasons fall apart on close inspection. The health benefits are suspect, given the history of the medical arguments involved—male sexuality and masturbation (as well as female) has historically been viewed as unhealthy behavior that would lead to literal sickness. One quote among many from the historical medical literature reads,

"It [self abuse] lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide.... Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision..."

So the medical community started doing genital cutting because ostensibly they thought that masturbation would literally make boys and girls sick. Once they had begun the procedure, the medical community simply changed their explanations so that they could keep going with the money-making machine that was child genital cutting. But they have had to change their explanations so many times that the justifications are only barely, most-tentatively supported by any evidence, as the need for new explanations has actually outpaced the production of supportive research, all of which has been biased in a myriad of ways (see another of Brian Earp’s articles for some examples thereof).

So what other explanations are given? There are many, all just as easily dismantled, but when you drill down into it far enough, the only one that stands up to any scrutiny is that women in the US like penises that have been surgically altered. In my personal life, I’ve even heard girls say that they would definitely cut their boys so that their daughters-in-law wouldn’t hate them. This is what I’m talking about, gentlemen. For all that you hear about men’s sense of entitlement, there are groups of women in the world who feel entitled to a not just being surgically altered after they have met for her pleasure, but preemptively, decades before they’ve met, and usually as soon as they (the men) have been born. And society goes along with it, allowing parents to pay large sums of money for this procedure that kills hundreds of boys each year. And for all you European men who think you’re safe, I’ll point out to you that it was literally a luck-of-the-draw that you escaped with intact genitals, as there isn’t a country on Earth that has banned this violation of male autonomy.

   Further reading, for anyone interested (and some sources for the links above)

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-earp/does-circumcision-reduce-_b_9743242.html

 http://www.cirp.org/pages/whycirc.html

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEfzMLGRi84

 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4364150/