#this is not the ep of stranger things i wanted to watch and dare i say i do not want to watch stranger things

[pinkopaqued]

jason taking a little nap. curling up and having a nice little sleep

[imgeekgirlfan]

The Curse of Cassandra│(Qimir x Reader)

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings:  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content Rating : Mature 18+  Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

Summary: Being a prophet is both a gift and a curse; you see the future and you’re burdened with the weight of knowing that every decision you make could shape or destroy entire universe, with the overwhelming pressure that the fate of the galaxy hinges on your choice, and every path fraught with sacrifice.

Status: Completed (Finally! 😭)

A/N : I'm thai and english isn't my first language (sorry for the broken English)

This fic exists 'cause I got high (thanks to weed!). So my work's full of random shit in many ways. But I hope you'll dig it.

I got inspo from novels and movies I'm obsessed with: Dune, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, Blue Eye Samurai, and Anne Carson's Cassandra Float Can. (Hence the title "The Curse of Cassandra," linking to the Greek myth)

It's a mash-up of different universes, not just Star Wars, with a lot of tweaks for my storyline. If you want fanfic that strict Star Wars canon, this fic isn't for you.

Also, diversity FTW! the reader in this fic isn't white, she's a SEA woman, we gonna representing ASEAN pride.

��  EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 6 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 13 // EP : 14 (Completed)

Special OS : Phantom Thread

[Intro] A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

What fate could be worse? 

Being captured by Jedi 

Or being hunted by Sith

You close your eyelids, frowning at the stabbing sensation creeping into your brain. It's always like this when you try to sink into the stream of time, pondering what's yet to come. The price for this wicked foresight is torment of both body and soul, intensifying as your senses expand.

You see, you hear, you feel. The moisture in the air, the sound of water droplets hitting the ground, the wind rustling through the grass, the capillaries in your nasal cavities twisting and rupturing before blood gushes from your nose.

As you casually wipe away the red fluid with the back of your hand, you suddenly realize certain truths that have always been part of you. 

You are an aberration, something repulsive. An Abomination. 

And abominations must be eliminated—so they say.

You let out a long sigh, allowing your mind to drift through the past, present, and future—every possible event and situation. You watch it all with a numb mind, as if you've seen the same movie hundreds or thousands of times, a movie whose ending you already know well.

Yet there's one thing you still don't know: which ending will the path you're on now lead to?

Something pulls you out of your meditation, coinciding with the moment you sense someone's piercing gaze openly fixed upon you. That man is watching you from the shadows behind a large tree, not with malicious intent but with curiosity mixed with several other complex emotions too ambiguous to explain.

You remain seated in meditation at the same spot, amidst the blood and corpses of the Jedi, not daring to move, almost forgetting even to breathe.

You are the last one still breathing, the final victim of the Jedi massacre carried out by the mysterious Sith—The Stranger who is now closely observing you.

His face is completely hidden beneath a dark, twisted metal mask. Yet you can still feel his gleaming eyes surveying your body, as far as sight allows, focusing excessively, even invasively.

The curiosity in his mind is so intense that you find yourself trembling.

You see visions of what might happen—there's a high chance he'll rush in to slice you to pieces with his red lightsaber, searching for secrets or whatever might be hidden inside your body. Or he might subjugate you with his Force, using his power to penetrate your mind, deep into your subconscious, hoping to taste the forbidden fruit of secrets that you alone possess.

But he will never know, as long as you don't wish him to.

The scent of death hangs heavy in the air as heavy footsteps crunch over gravel, approaching you slowly, like a predator toying with its prey. You freeze, every muscle in your body tense, as you face the tall figure in dark cloak, his visage concealed behind a strange metal mask carved into a distorted smile.

For a moment, this man reminds you of the grim reaper from ancient religious myths that vanished thousands of years ago.

He is the harbinger of death everywhere he goes, including your own death

Awareness strikes like a warning signal. Various possibilities flash through your memory, similar to how a dying person recalls everything that happened in their life.

You instantly realize how crucial this moment is. This is an incredibly fragile juncture. 

There's a fifty percent chance he'll kill you, and another fifty percent chance he'll spare your life. 

Fear spreads throughout your flesh, imprinting itself on your soul, turning your blood ice-cold. Your pulse races with panic. 

You take a deep breath, quickly focusing, trying hard to regain control of your shaken mind. "I must not fear," you mutter to yourself, the same phrase your mother used to teach you as a child. "Fear is the mind-killer, fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration..." 

A low, hoarse laugh escapes from behind the metal mask. Clearly, he heard what you said. "Oh, I think you should fear," he says, his words teetering between mockery and sarcasm.

You know he wants you to fear because, for the Sith, fear leads to power.

 You do the opposite, swallowing the lump of fear in your throat, maintaining a calm demeanor as you force a faint smile for the person before you. 

"Humans fear what they don't know, just as they fear me, and just as they fear you." You pause momentarily, carefully considering your final sentence, which could determine your fate. 

Finally, you speak, firm and unwavering, "But I know you, so I do not fear." 

There's a fifty percent chance he'll kill you, and another fifty percent chance he'll spare your life—this thought returns to your mind once more.

He had always kept his secret well, never letting anyone who knew his true identity survive.

You know well that your revelation will bring about an end that changes everything, both for better and for worse.

This is the gamble you've already placed your bet on, for this purpose and for this moment.

The lightsaber hilt in his hand remains tightly closed, showing no sign of the red flame that has taken countless lives. He kneels before you, his action clearly revealing vulnerabilities in his body. You could easily grab the lightsaber from the Jedi's corpse and behead him in one stroke.

But you don't kill him, just as he doesn't kill you.

You look into his eyes, he looks into yours, gauging each other in silence.

His large hand reaches beneath his mask, unlocks the mechanism, and slowly removes it, revealing the familiar face in your sight.

His face is sharp in every proportion, with messy jet-black hair. His eyes, once gentle when touched by sunlight, now cold as ice, contrast starkly with the smile slowly spreading wide, in the same fashion as the smile on the mask he wore earlier.

"Qimir"

His name sounds strange when you utter it, as if it's not a name you're familiar with, and the man before you is not the man you know.

The man chuckles softly and moves even closer, cutting off any chance for you to escape. You swallow hard, trying to turn your face away from his intense gaze. But he doesn't let you. His fingers, wet with others' blood, dig into both of your cheeks, pressing hard enough to hurt, forcing you to look only at him.

"Surprised?" He leans in closer, his hot breath on your face, and whispers softly in your ear, "I told you, you can't run away from me."

[itsnotzka]

Author's note: So, here's the deal. I've committed another rather fluffy one-shot.

This was (kind of?) requested by amazing and awesome @julesisreading (and thank you for your little help, Jules! :))

Jake x MC // no warnings // one teeny-tiny spoiler (ep.10)

Words: 2,6k

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- L I G H T H E A D E D -

"I'm not so sure about this," Jake mumbled, keeping a close eye on the woman in front of him as his eyes slowly moved down to that seemingly insignificant thing in her hand. With doubt and great uncertainty, he shifted from foot to foot, trying not to show her that it was stressing him out more than it should. She was standing close to him, much closer than the limits of his personal space would allow, yet he didn't dare to move away.

Because, if he liked it or not, he didn't really want to move away.

It was their second meeting. The first one went well, although Jake knew he had chickened out many times. Too many.

He never touched her. He didn't ask what he wanted to ask. He couldn't look into her eyes as long as he should have.

But, for some strange reason entirely unknown to him, she didn't mind it at all. Her kind eyes were full of patience. Constantly.

"I'll be gentle," she chuckled, a soft smile that appeared on her face made him swallow hard as a shiver went down his spine, "You haven't done this in a long time, have you? For a little too long, I'd say..."

Her head tilted, she raised her hand a little, but before she reached his dark hair, she stopped, a little embarrassed. She saw him flinch.

He didn't want to flinch like that, it was just a reflex. Inwardly, he scorned himself for it. He noticed how she flustered. How she took her hand back, abashed a little.

But she knew him.

She already knew Jake's perceptive eyes, as they were carefully watching every single one of her movements. She saw him analyzing everything, his face flickering with emotion he didn't want to show anybody.

The truth was, after so long, he missed the human touch. The problem was, he was used to being alone. He preferred being alone. He took pleasure in solitude. He liked it to such an extent that any public place, any meeting with a stranger, even a mere thought of it gave him a very unpleasant feeling of anxiety.

But a little while ago, all of a sudden, she appeared in his life. And suddenly, breaking his own rules, his own boundaries for her seemed easy.

'Easy' was not the right word for that. It seemed... possible.

"That's true, I haven't. It's been quite a while," Jake replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "Sometimes... sometimes you need another person to get it right. And when someone lives a life like mine, you don't really have time or inclination for such... mundane activities. My mind is usually occupied with something different entirely."

She burst out laughing but immediately regretted it, covering her mouth with her hand. She realized the hacker said it in all seriousness. Thankfully, he didn't seem offended. He smiled slightly, a faint blush on his pale cheeks.

"I can imagine that. But do you trust me?" she asked. A tiny, warm spark appeared in Jake's heart.

A dangerous spark that he didn't really like.

No. He liked it. He was just scared of it.

Of course he trusted her. He trusted her like no one else before. From the very start he felt like he had known her forever. He trusted her completely. Absolutely. Without a single doubt. Only her. Almost like a madman.

He'd been called 'mad' many times in the past, but this was the first time he actually believed it. He almost chuckled thinking about that but stopped himself just in time.

He knew he had tendencies to exaggerate, to overthink, to overanalyze absolutely everything that was going on around him. Yet it seemed that this as well didn't bother her at all. Very unexpectedly, he felt like she had just... accepted him. All of him. Every single good and bad thing about him.

"I trust you. You know I do," Jake finally managed to answer, while she didn't take her eyes off him even for a split second, "But I don't know if that has anything to do with trust. Have you... ever done this before?"

She smiled innocently, the dim lights of his apartment bringing out the beauty in her, emphasizing those little dimples in her rosy cheeks.

"I have," she answered bluntly, "It's not that hard. But if you don't want me to... that's okay. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. You just mentioned the last time it was bothering you, so... "

That was the first time she took her eyes off him. She lowered her head a little angry at herself, because she knew she shouldn't push him that hard. The fact that they were standing so close to each other was enough for her. But something kept drawing them together and she didn't know how to make it easier for him.

"It's not like that," Jake answered quietly, his hand moved on his own, his fingers stopped just before he touched her upper arm, "I want you to. I would like to try it... with you."

This time he smiled on purpose. When his hand touched her skin, he shivered, but it wasn't unpleasant at all. On the contrary! It was as if her warmth had flowed through him, as if for that brief moment her body heat had merged with his.

"You really would?" she asked, her eyes, once again, fixed on him.

He didn't answer, not at first, anyway, getting lost in her eyes. Warm, kind eyes, hiding secrets that he undeniably wanted to be a part of. The eyes that he wanted to share all of his secrets with.

She saw his hesitation. She could see his absent-minded expression as he pondered the situation deeply. She certainly didn't want to put him in an awkward position... as much as she loved to challenge him. But she could barely keep herself from throwing her arms around his shoulders since their eyes had met for the first time that evening.

Yet, she managed not to do it. She knew what Jake was like. She realized a long time ago that this man in front of her didn't know how to get close to people. She only didn't know if it was fear or just his... morbid caution. But she knew that the hacker was slowly breaking all through everything restraining him... for her.

She could see how he analyzed every single world that had been said between them since the very beginning of this meeting. How he fought himself and his thoughts, his doubts.

His doubts?

As he sat on that chair in front of her, as she brushed his shoulders with her fingers... he knew he didn't have any doubts about her. He wanted her close. He wanted her, but... he didn't know how to achieve that. He didn't know how to...just be with someone. Not anymore. His past had changed him.

He held his breath as she stood right behind him. He tried his best to relax, but it was hard. Harder than it should be. He didn't like not being in control, he had to be able to see everything, and with her standing behind him... all his inner sensors were telling him: Watch out! Run! Protect yourself!

Everything changed as she slowly, carefully dug her fingers into his hair. His black hair that he hadn't cut in... months. Just like that his muscles let go. He closed his eyes and shut them tight. He clenched his jaw... he had to. Otherwise he would have given himself away.

Otherwise he would have sighed so loudly, desperately, hungry for her touch, he would turn around and pull her to him so quickly, he was afraid he'd startle her.

That small, innocent touch made him regret absolutely everything he'd done before. Or rather everything he hadn't done. That he didn't take her in his arms as soon as she came here. That he hadn't held her so tight that they both lost their breath. That he hadn't told her how beautiful she was. That he hadn't kissed her right away.

Then he almost laughed.

As if he actually dared to do that.

Damn it – Jake thought, holding back an annoyed growl - He already told her he loved her, for crying out loud! And she even answered him the same! So why was it all so hard in person?!

The hacker didn't know the answer to that.

She knew.

She knew what she could do and say around him. She knew what was making him shut down and what was making him talk. Open up. As her fingers ran through his slightly unkempt hair, she smiled. She heard him sigh quietly, his shoulders dropping as he surrendered to her touch.

"You have nice hair. So soft," Jake was barely able to hear her voice, still relying on her fingers roaming his hair, massaging the skin on his head, "I feel a little guilty I'm going to cut those guys. "

"That's—that's not the kind of thing you want to h-hear from a barber, do you?" the hacker said timidly, ending with a nervous chuckle.

"Oh? Even from your own, private barber?" Jake nearly jumped in his seat as he heard her voice very close to his ear.

"Ev—even from..." he stuttered, feeling a sudden disappointment when she moved her hands away, "I don't know. I've n-never— I... I wouldn't--"

Great...

He sounded like he had forgotten how to speak.

When they were texting each other, he never had such problems. He could always think over every word. Not exactly, but... it was definitely better than that!

He held his breath as she laughed out loud. The sound made him smile too, though. He didn't even realize it, but he was laughing with her almost immediately.

Well, he was laughing at himself. He was laughing out of build-up frustration. He was laughing with happiness. He was laughing because - damn it - she was there and she wanted to be there. With him.

She suddenly appeared in front of him, leaned forward, placed her hands on the armrests of his chair and looked him straight in the eye. Then, after a couple of long seconds, during which his mouth went all dry, she murmured, "So, are you ready, Jake?" she asked with a spark in her eyes, showing him the scissors in her hands again, "Are you willing to put yourself in my very capable hands?"

He knew she was testing him. Even when they chatted online, she liked to say things that left him speechless. Things that made his pale cheeks blush a little.

A little? Things that made him blush hard.

Thank god for those dim lights – he thought, although he was sure she'd noticed it.

He didn't like losing. This time he couldn't just log out. If it were a chat, he'd find some sorry excuse and he'd be gone. Like always.

"I am," the hacker replied with such confidence that he surprised even himself, so he decided to continue. To play her little game... as well as he could, "I am all yours."

She smiled with contentment. She was glad that he wasn't as closed off as he seemed before. She knew they were both exploring new territory and he was doing great.

She brushed her hand over his shoulder and stood behind him again. Her fingers dug into his hair once more, to his satisfaction. Before she cut the first strand, Jake stopped her. Then slowly, looking at her, he took off his black hoodie, folding it carefully and placing it on the table nearby.

He was just in his black T-shirt now.

She watched him with curiosity, because she knew very well that Jake's every move, every small gesture meant something more.

"Just don't cut it too short, eh?" he said, sitting back in his chair, looking up at her, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen over his face.

Jake felt her warm expression right in his chest, "You can always say 'stop', okay? If I go too far..."

He nodded eagerly, the corners of his mouth twitching lightly by themselves, and he didn't even feel himself smiling again.

He just wanted to feel her touch once more.

As individual strands of Jake's black hair began to fall to the ground, he felt lighter. It was as if with each subsequent cut, the weight he had on his shoulders simply disappeared... he simply felt closer to her.

He was closer to her.

With every move she made, he allowed himself to overthrow another rule. Another thing that kept him away from her. His hands gradually touched her waist as she faced him. He slowly moved them to her back as she shifted slightly closer, leaning in.

But she continued. She didn't lose her head. Little by little, she trimmed every unruly strand of his hair that he forgot to pay attention to for a long time.

Jake suddenly realized that it surprised him how oddly intimate this moment was for the two of them. Much more intimate than... anything he'd ever experienced before. The smell of her warm skin, or the feeling of her hands lightly brushing his neck, her breath in his face.

He got lost in it and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go back. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist - so tenderly, you'd think they'd known each other their entire lives. He looked into her eyes, seeing not only her, but something else, something more, something unspoken, yet strangely obvious.

In fact, before her scissors made their last move, he held her in his arms, feeling under his fingers, for a change, not his computer keyboard, but the softness and warmth of her body. All the tension, all the awkwardness, all the fear - everything slowly disappeared. At that moment he finally found someone who accepted him for who he was. Just like that.

He closed his eyes, letting his mind and thoughts fly away, shut down for a short while that felt like an eternity. Still holding the scissors in her hands, she wrapped her arms around him. He could practically feel her heartbeat against his skin, and he was pretty sure she could feel his pounding heart as well.

He didn't care.

At that moment, everything he had feared, everything he wished he had done sooner, ceased to matter.

He broke all the rules for her that day. All of his restraints. All the walls he had carefully built around himself... they all simply came down. They didn't even make a single sound as they disappeared.

He allowed himself to snuggle into her neck when he felt she didn't mind. She chuckled, cuddling him, trying to hide her surprise.. They both realized that they were completely unnecessarily afraid of this closeness... because it seemed so natural to them, as if they were simply made for each other.

Like two pieces of a puzzle.

"Scratchy," she giggled nervously, feeling his face on her neck. His light, calm smile reassured her that everything was fine, "Maybe I should take care of your stubble as well."

"Tempting," Jake muttered, lightheaded suddenly, "I think like this idea."

"You do?"

"I do," he replied as she looked down, their lips so close, they were almost touching, "As I said to you before... I'm all yours."

He had never been so sure of anything in his life, as of those words back then.

She chuckled. Her cheerful voice turned into a sigh, as they finally closed that remaining distance between them.

[cupidarchived]

Love Sea Thoughts

So, after watching episode 3, my brain is full. I have a lot of questions and a lot of thoughts. I'm going to try to organize them here. If this comes out a jumbled mess, please forgive me.

Let me preface by saying I love love love FortPeat. I think they are both talented in their own rights. I absolutely adore what they gave us with PrapaiSky. I adore them together, I think their chemistry is amazing.

As with any piece of anything, but especially media, there are going to be flaws and things we like and dislike. Differing opinions, views, feelings, experiences, and interpretations. But that's not what this is about at all. I do feel like the first two episodes, something felt off for me and I thought it was the pacing. I believe that's a small part of it. (I also believe that this might be another one of those shows where the plot is lacking, unless I have sorely missed something, and our actors are doing the heavy lifting.) I think a lot of the time we don't always get a grounded plot, more like a genre and a few tropes and that's kind of what we have to work with. Romance, 'hate'-to-love, and the couple just kind of getting together. Which is fine, but it can cause things to seem off in some areas.

Anyways, after watching ep 3, I feel that things are supposed to seem fast? It's supposed to be a simple, one-off, whirlwind vacation romance. They barely know each other. Tongrak disliked him a lot in the beginning, etc. But there is a time limit on what they have or it should be. (Judging by the preview for episode 4 and the fact that we have very many episodes left, we have way more drama and romance to come.) Tongrak seems traumatized by his home life/family dynamic. He spoke about his mother as if she was the last thing he wanted to be like and yet.. he shows some of the exact same traits, and also some opposing traits, that have made him all the more worse as a result. He buys Mahasamut, tries to control him with his money. And although he apologized, and Mahasmut seems fine with it, it has to hurt, having someone treat you like nothing or as if you're beneath them. Those were Tongrak's first instincts, he does apologize and show sympathy later on in the episode, but it says a lot about what he's probably experienced. Both of their familial stories sound intense and heartbreaking and it's really the first (or second, if we count the auntie's restaurant by the sea date) time we get to seem them sort of connect and get to know each other better, beyond just their physical attraction and sex.

Speed is important, I think, or at least something to take note of. Two weeks Tongrak spent there and Mahasamut is already asking him to stay (and Tongrak asking him to go back home with him, as per the preview). They seem to like each other, and yet, Mahasamut is ready to jump in full force, while Tongrak has stated multiple times that love is imaginary, not real. Our leads are not on the same page at all, which would probably give us more conflict down the line. But they also seem to not be able to stay away from one another. Which must be nerve-wracking for Tongrak, being that his mother was obsessed with his father who seemed to want nothing more to do with any of them other than her money (I felt those same vibes after the phone call with his sister, too. Dad must be lurking around after their money, but creeping on your granddaughter's school is an even more horrible way to do it). And Mahasamut has been tossed aside by his father, too. He's poor, working multiple odd jobs to make ends meet; he's been alone since he was 15, never daring to ask anyone for anything. He must be no stranger to being looked down on but he wants to be more for Tongrak clearly, but he's afraid he won't ever be enough, no matter how hard he tries.

I'm not sure where I was going with this but yeah. If I think of anything more, I'll come back and add it.

[angelsdean]

scrolled past a post earlier that was like. what ur one hetero ship and literally it's naley one tree hell. my sister and i were continuing our millionth rewatch last night and we've seen this SO many times and still were fangirl squealing when they had their first kiss (dare you to move!) and they are the opposite of destiel, they're literally SUCH a fast burn they get married as juniors in high school by the end of s1 but. they have the same chaotic ride or die energy. also last night we watched the ep where nathan passes out on the court after taking too many steroids or something and then he busts out of the hospital to see haley and tells her how scared he was and how when he passed out the last thing he saw was her in the crowd and all he wanted to do was get up and go over to her and tell her how much he cared abt her and "how much i need you" and !! i've said it so many times with the goodbye stranger crypt scene but like. telling someone you need them feels even more intimate and vulnerable than an 'i love you' and there's that post that's like "i can't remember the last time i ever told someone i need them" and yea. literally

anyways naley could do the crypt scene and 12 yr slow burn and destiel could do married-in-high-school fast burn + a decade of ride or die drama, trials & tribulations

[watchmenanon]

Let's Hear It for the Boy: Finn Wolfhard

from STATUS Magazine August 2017 feat. Finn Wolfhard and Noah Schnapp

by STATUS Magazine

While some kids hide underneath their blankets once they discover the monsters underneath their beds, Finn Wolfhard didn't need a lot of growing up before he decided to face them himself. Sure, the underground creatures he takes on are a bit fictional, but the young actor is braving the real world with promise and precision.

It’s not that hard to be smitten with Finn Wolfhard.

Just like the characters that he portrays, he’s a charming young boy who views the world with eyes of wonder and excitement. At 14 years old, he’s already been in two huge thriller franchises that most kids his age wouldn’t even dare to watch. He first hit our frequencies last year starring in Stranger Things as the determined leader of the pack, Mike Wheeler. The series might’ve catapulted his career, but his love for the craft has been keeping him grounded. “The only thing that’s different now is that I get stopped on the street for pictures and have a lot followers on social media, but that never changed my personality or anything. I’m just happy to be an actor in general,” he adds. Making his way from Hawkins, Indiana to Derry, Maine, he’s also set to star in the upcoming movie adaptation of Stephen King’s horror classic It as the buck-toothed goon Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier. While both involve a plot where children mysteriously go missing, we’ve found ourselves a star in Finn Wolfhard. He’s definitely got the “It” factor, and there’s nothing strange about that.

Despite being a middle-schooler, Finn is wasting no time kidding around. Although it seems like he’s shaping up to be sci-fi’s It-boy, he’s been gradually showing different sides of himself. When he’s not busy slaying strange creatures and dancing clowns, Finn can be seen shredding his bass and guitar, and he’s got an impeccable taste to match the skill he’s been refining. His covers of Mac DeMarco and Nirvana have been circulating across the Internet, in addition to the buzz he’s been creating with his band Calpurnia–and it doesn’t stop there. He recently hosted and performed at Sweet Relief’s benefit concert called Strange ‘80s alongside Sarah Silverman, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Tenacious D, and Slipknot’s Corey Taylor. And now, he’s stepping behind the camera with his latest project, co-directing a crowdfunded music video for Spendtime Palace’s Western rock tune “Sonara” with former Viner Josh Ovalle. With It premiering this September and the second season of Stranger Things streaming this October on top of his personal ventures, Finn might’ve seemingly bitten off more than he can chew, but never underestimate a small kid with a big appetite.

: You recently dabbled into the world of filmmaking, co-directing a Westernthemed music video for Spendtime Palace with Josh Ovalle. Can you tell us some of the directors that inspire your vision as a director?

A: I think my favorite directors would be Spike Jonze and Edgar Wright. I like Spike Jonze because he’s so versatile in a way that he can make skateboarding videos but also win an Oscar for Best Screenplay. That really gives me faith that I can be an actor and still be a director. And Edgar Wright’s incredible because he just knows how to create something visually. He has perfect vision. Oh, also Sofia Coppola! That’s another director that I admire a lot.

Q: We’ve also been seeing a lot of your band Calpurnia online. Can we expect any music release from you guys soon?

A: Yeah, it all depends on my schedule, but I think we’ll be doing an EP that’ll be out in the next couple of months. Hopefully next year, we’ll do some shows. We want to do as many shows as we can ‘cause we love performing so much. We want to do shows in Vancouver and a tour maybe next summer.

Q: Going into your upcoming projects, you’ve been into a lot of scifi and supernatural stuff so far. Was this a conscious choice or a mere coincidence?

A: It’s a weird coincidence for sure. ‘Cause when I auditioned for Stranger Things, I was auditioning for everything. That was just the right thing for me to do at that time. Same thing with It, and I’m glad that they were. It’s just complete coincidence. Acting is my favorite thing to do, so whatever comes to me, I’d do it as long as the script is good.

Q: Both Stranger Things and It are set in the glorious decade of the ‘80s. How were you able to play a character from a time period you have no memory of?

A: The cool thing about playing a character in general is you have to add yourself to it, so I try to put as much of myself into every character that I play as possible. Like in Stranger Things, I read the lines like how I would say them in real life. I think the only thing that really has to do with the ‘80s is that it’s set in a different time. If you know enough about it, it’s easy enough to do.

Q: You got the chance to work with Sean Astin for this season. How was it like working with him?

A: He’s so amazing. He was open to anything. I asked him every question I had about The Goonies and The Lord of the Rings. He just gave me so much knowledge and told me to enjoy being a kid but at the same time, be comfortable with what you’re doing as well as the projects that I’m in.

Q: How different would this season of Stranger Things be from the first one?

A: The second season is just like the first season, but better. It has the same sense of wonder and adventure, but adding more horror and drama aspects to it. I even think it’s funnier than the first. It’s taking everything that the first season did and just improving it.

Q: Moving forward into your career, what kind of projects are you interested in doing next?

A: For acting, I’d love to do a comedy or a drama. I don’t want to do too many sci-fi and horror stuff ‘cause I would just get typecasted. Obviously, I enjoy doing Stranger Things, but the genre in general isn’t always my favorite. And I’d also want to continue directing anything that’s written by me. I don’t want to misquote Matt and Ross [Duffer], but they told me, “If you want to be a director, you have to write your own stuff.” And I really like that ‘cause you have full control of everything.

Q: Being a kid yourself, do you have any tips for other kids who want to follow the same path that you thread on?

A: I think anyone my age who’s into acting should go to open casting call websites like Craigslist and just find whatever they can find. If you want to do acting classes, that’s fine, but acting classes never worked for me. I’ve learned to access my emotions way more as I went along. But it depends. If you want to study it, that’s a different thing. I only advise that you go to school for it if you don’t know anything about acting. But if you already know enough about it, then I think that you should just do your own thing.

[virtie333]

Thank you @contrivedcoincidences6 for the tag. It's been a crazy week, but I'm finally getting to it!

3 ships: Rey and Poe (Damerey) - Star Wars; Mulder and Scully - The X-Files, Han and Leia - Star Wars

First ship - Han and Leia!

Last song: Just watched an ep of Stranger Things and have "Runaway" by Bon Jovi in my head.

Last movie: It's been so long since I've watched a movie... but I've been rewatching Andor.

Currently reading: Just started Operation Notorious, book 9 in Justine Davis' Cutter's Code series.

Currently writing: Dare I say I'm 'rewriting' the Sequel Trilogy? I love those movies, but I'm needing some Damerey IN that time period, damn it. Also writing my first Moon Knight fic. Angst and romance and how does a woman save her marriage when there are two other men involved? It's been interesting to say the least.

It's almost 1 am and I should be in bed so I can get up for mass tomorrow, so I'm tagging anyone who hasn't done this and wants to!

[independentartistbuzz]

Harehound Debuts Epic Single “Devil May Care”

Originating from Red Deer, Alberta, Harehound is the rebrand of the alt rock trio previously performing under the name "Rebecca Raabis." The band consists of members Rebecca Raabis (lead vocals, bass) Colin Langstraat (drums, backing vocals), and Craig Gomez (guitar) – who are no strangers to the music scene.

Their mix of alt pop and punk rock influences makes for a hard hitting, catchy sonic attack that is sure to make you proudly dance your night away. 

The term “Devil May Care” suggests the willingness to take risks and the lack of concern for what others may think or how things may turn out. The term also implies a sense of adventure and daring, as well as a willingness to embrace uncertainty and to live in the moment. That’s what frontwoman Rebecca Raabis wanted to convey with their song “Devil May Care” – she strives to reach her own goals and to do what makes her happy in spite of the scrutiny and opinions of others.

Listen to the focus track “Devil May Care” from the five track Harehound EP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qExmT9WEijw

https://linktr.ee/harehound

“The inspiration for this album comes from a deeply personal and introspective place. I was and still am going through a period of growth and self-discovery, where I am learning to set healthy boundaries and prioritize my well-being,” explains Raabis. “Overall, this EP is a powerful and transformative work of art that can hopefully inspire listeners to prioritize their own well-being and inner strength. It could be a testament to the importance of setting boundaries and cultivating self-love, and a reminder that we are all worthy of love and respect, both from ourselves and others.”

[oonajaeadira]

I just found your PATS series and I am loving it!

I was wondering how a session might go with PATS after the reader has been sick and had to skip a session or two until they were better. Does he help them out with any remaining body aches?

Thanks, friend!!! Glad you’re having a good time! <3

I assume by this ask that maybe you were ill at the time and I’m sorry to hear that. But yes. He loves a good challenge and he’s set on making his clients feel good and relaxed. I’m sure he would. 

In fact...

Truth or Dare: This is Enough for Now (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

Warnings: smut intimacy under the cut

It’s not the news he wants to see on the portal chat.

–I won’t be able to make it again this week

You’ve missed the last two sessions due to illness, which means it’s been three weeks since you’ve been on his table. Three weeks since your-skin-against-his. Three weeks to think about his choice in the game. And what he was going to ask you to do as his reward. 

At first he thought to take advantage of the break. Let himself simmer down. Didn’t work. If nothing, it just keeps you at a low boil in the back of his mind.

His groan of frustration isn’t directed at you. It’s selfish want coursing through his veins. He misses you–plain and simple–and he fucking knows it.

–I’m sorry to hear that. Still feeling under the weather?

–I’m doing better just residual achiness 

–You’re no longer contagious?

–No

–If you want, we could just do a regular massage, relieve some of that ache.

–That sounds glorious. I’d love that. But i’m still weak enough that the effort of getting there is going to knock me over. If only you made house calls

He watches the light on his portal blink for a few seconds, knows full well that he’s about to fling himself recklessly over another line. But there’s a loophole here to exploit, a brilliant little gift you’ve given him. He shelves his preference for the week, sacrificing truth for the only other choice–

–Dare.

–?

–Dare.

–I don’t understand

–Preciosa. It’s Thursday. There’s something you want, and I’m choosing dare.

Your light blinks for a few seconds. But you pick up the thread quickly enough.

–I dare you to make a house call

–Is your billing address your home address?

–Yes

–Leave the door unlocked. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be there in 20.

He makes it in 15.

________________

He leaves his shoes inside your door next to a sealed cardboard box, the kind you pack belongings in. Perhaps you’ve elected to take that job after all. But a quick look around your tidy-but-cozy living room doesn’t reveal any others. Maybe you’d only gotten so far before you got sick. Or there are more elsewhere.

As he moves through the space on his search for your bedroom, he finds your home aesthetically pleasing, not quite what he expected and yet fitting. He’s learning some things about you. Full bookshelves. A few interesting art pieces. He can certainly guess your favorite colors. It’s an entirely new space but surprisingly, he doesn’t feel like a stranger interloping; it’s comfortable here. 

It smells like you.

The bedroom isn’t difficult to find, and he leans against the doorframe for a moment.

Looks like you fell asleep waiting for him, tucked into a little ball on top of the covers. You sleep…differently here. He can’t put words to it, only that your energy is not what he’s used to. Less…held. There’s a blanket on the end of the bed he uses to cover you, leaving his small bag of toys and massage oils on your bedside table before making a necessary investigation of your bathroom.

Good sized tub, clean. Plenty of towels. Drugstore pain medication on the counter, looks like you’re still needing that. Okay. On to the kitchen.

On his way back through the hall he finds another bedroom, empty except for a cleared, abandoned office desk. Looks like it hasn’t been cleaned for a while; coffee rings make a mandala on one section, dust and grit outlining the ghosts of items past, the varnish worn where hands had rested at a keyboard. Tracks in the carpet underneath only highlight the absence of a chair.

He saw your laptop and files out on the dining table where it looks like you’ve set up a place to work from home. This isn’t your desk. It never was.

He’s well aware of your divorce. What was it Shell said? Something about the guy and a neighbor woman…

Fucking idiot.

He wonders for a moment where the ex is and if you still have any contact with him. How much or little you’ve moved on…

In the kitchen he finds the glasses on his first try, chooses one from the cabinet and moves to the refrigerator to see if you prefer filtered water. But before he opens the door,  familiar writing catches his eye. His writing. His latest assessment sheet is magnetically clipped to the fridge as well as….

A neatly folded sheet of hotel stationary with your name scrawled on it. 

The note he left for you in the hotel room.

“Hello?” Your voice calls out from down the hall, ripping him back into focus.

“Hey. I’m just getting you some water. Tap okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

As the glass fills, he eyes the note. He’s not exactly sure how he feels that you kept it. That you have it somewhere where you can see it daily. He thinks… He wants…

He takes a deep breath. Steles himself for the revelation.

He wants to take care of you.

“You have a nice place.” Setting the glass on your bedside table, he sits on the edge of your bed as you smile gratefully up at him. “Very well-kept.”

“Thank you. Just don’t look at my bookshelves. I haven’t dusted in ages and you’ll be able to tell how few books I’ve read lately…”

This wins a chuckle. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay. Tired. Little achy. This bug just took a lot out of me.”

“I see you have painkillers. When was the last time you took some?”

“Yesterday.”

Delicately lifting one of your hands, he starts in on a palm massage, rubbing firm, slow circles as you instinctively take a deep breath and let your eyes softly close. “Well. Maybe we start there. I’m going to run a bath. While we wait for it to fill and for the pill to take effect, I’ll work on you here. Then we’ll move to the bathroom, okay?”

“Okay.”

It doesn’t take long for him to return with the pill bottle, to lift off your shirt and oil his hands while you take a dose.

“I want you to sit up and hug your knees. Chin down.”

The only sound is the distant rush of water as he climbs up on the bed behind you, warming the oil by running his palms over your shoulders. Then he begins to work you like a column of clay, shaping his Venus, thumbs riding the canals on either side of your spine, finding the soft curves of your arms, the sides of your breasts, down through your hips, pressing you into the form of you. He loves the strength of his own hands, their ability to (judging by your moans) push the ache down and out of your muscle. Wrapping his fingers around your arms and sliding them all the way down to the wrist, he releases your hands from around your knees and signals you to lean back into him, putting a hand to your forehead to ease you to his shoulder. Then he reaches around to work the muscles of your thighs, your hips, watching your soft expression in his periphery–the way your heavy eyelids fight to stay open and follow his hands on you–the rise of your breasts as you breathe for him. 

He leans into you when you roll your neck to press your forehead to his cheek...

He doesn’t need to tell you anymore. You give into him, fit against him, instinctively breathe and hold when he wants you to now. You’ve come so far since that first session when he worked so hard to get you to trust him…and you’d worked so hard to just let go…

But still, with you here and his mouth at your ear, he won’t drop his encouragement, especially when you hold and then sigh so pretty for him, “That’s nice. Good. Starting to feel better?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Good,” kissing the crook of your neck, letting his lips linger a bit before pulling away, he rocks you forward. “Let’s get you into that bath. I’m going to do some point work on you.”

At the tub, he gently helps you step over the rim, lowers you down into the liquid warmth, and slips a folded towel behind your head before standing to strip down.

“I’m going to need you to make room for me between your legs.”

Even though your eyes are closed and you can’t see it, he mirrors your soft smile with his own, carefully stepping into the tub and slowly kneeling down, careful not to allow it to overflow. Here, he starts with your feet, pushing into pressure points, flexing and rotating your ankle joints, working up to the back of the calves and holding the drainage point there. “Breathe.” Moving one of your legs across him, he presses two fingers up into the hip joint, watching for the twitch in your brow. There it is. “Tender here?” You nod. “Normal after you’ve been in bed a while. We’ll take care of that.” Small circles, steady pressure, strong fingers, eyes on your face until it smooths out and your tendon relaxes. He’s got you.

This is what he loves to see; you, tranquil, giving over to him, trusting him to do what’s best for you. It’s not only you at your most beautiful, it’s a reflection on himself. It means he’s never hurt you. Never let you down. That he makes you feel good. 

This is what he needs.

It’s time for a change.

He’s up and motioning you to slide forward a little so he can fit in behind you, get in to work the sacrum points at the base of your spine under the warm water, finding the little divots and working his thumbs in small circles until your flesh melts under his palms, tender, supple, giving in. Then the shoulder joints. The base of the skull. Pinpoint and zero in. Reactive pressure. Sustained attention. Reading you. His hands know where to go, understanding what needs to be done, knowing every inch of your musculature. Assessing that all is in working order and he’s made a full sweep of the main points before he pulls you back into his chest and just comes to rest.

“How do you feel?”

“Perfect. I could sleep here for a week.”

“Bed’s probably the better choice. After after a glass of water. You wanna do that now?”

“A few more minutes here?”

“Okay.”

He leans back and lets the breath take him, takes your weight onto him, looking down through his lashes at his bronze legs framing your own in the tub, listening to the errant drip of the faucet or the sucking swallow of the overflow drain whenever you both breathe in air and bring enough mass to displace some water.

“Thank you for coming,.” you hum, your back vibrating pleasantly against his torso.

“Least I could do, considering you’ve missed two sessions this month, figured this might make up for it.” The tinkle of the water off his hand takes over as he brings it up to stroke your shoulder. “Besides. If you’re moving, I might as well get you into as many sessions as possible before you go.”

“I’m not going.”

It takes all his concentration not to let his hand stop or alter in its slow trace over your skin. “No?”

“No. I dropped down to a part-time position that allows me to work from home. I’ll just have to find something else to supplement, I guess.”

“I see. I thought I saw a moving box by your door.”

Your breath hitches. “That’s…I found…some of my ex’s things. I was going to take them and drop them at his apartment. Keep losing the nerve.”

“Mmm. Been there.”

That’s… Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. Two words too much information. 

But enough to sound like encouragement to you, apparently.

“At least he moved out of the neighborhood,” you drone. Flat. Controlled. Measured. “He and Angie across the alley…I wish she’d left her husband and gone with him. But they stayed married and worked through it and now she gives me dirty looks as if it’s my fault… It wasn’t. I know it wasn’t. If it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else… Not like it was the first time…. It doesn’t matter. I deserved better and I know that now.”

Is it the closeness? The warm water and your warm bodies together? Your weight on him, pinning him down? No. It’s this… quiet, unvarnished truth you’ve just trusted him with. Being in your home. Stillness.

It’s the stillness together.

In his room he’s usually working his hands over you, working his body over yours–through yours. Stillness is for your sleeping, for his retreating, he does not come to stillness with clients.

Yet suddenly, he too could sleep here for a week. Wants to just let it all bleed out into the warm water. And he’s going around the hallways in his mind, manually shutting off all the alarms.

“If it’s okay, Preciosa, I’m not going to fuck you tonight. I want you to rest and get yourself back in working order.”

“That’s fine,” you sigh, running a hand along his knee. “I probably wouldn’t be any good to you right now.”

He’s not sure how to answer that as you lay on his chest and softly breathe. As your fingers circle his knee and gradually come to a stop. As he inhales the scent of your hair. 

This is plenty good for him. This is just enough. Just for tonight.

___

___

NEXT

SERIES MASTERLIST

[shokami]

I HATE ALL MEN...

pairing ; megumi fushiguro x reader

word count ; 2.8k

genre ; fluff to angst. established relationship!

warning(s) ; major character death (not descriptive). mentions of blood, injuries. minor spoilers to ep nineteen.

i hate all men, but when he loves me… i feel like i’m floating...

doubling over in laughter, you held your side as you let out several gasps of air. listening to the ridiculous spout of words between itadori and kugisaki, never failed to make you crack a wheeze or two.

your bubbly sounds echoing around the room quickly caught your boyfriend’s attention. those laughs were always capable of making him stop dead in his tracks, all so he could take a mental picture of that moment. your laughter slowly died down as you turned to look over your shoulder, finding fushiguro watching from afar. he looked at you with nothing but fondness in his gaze, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

fushiguro swore that you were the sunshine in human form. that genuine smile, and intoxicating laugh— was exactly what he would expect the sun to appear as. those were also the very things that had made him fall for you so long ago. he never spoke about it, but he was glad that being surrounded by curses, and the constant negativity invading your life, never dulled your happiness. he didn’t know what he would do without such a beaming sunshine.

“you know, i heard that staring isn’t polite.”

basking in your presence, and appearance caused megumi’s mind to momentarily drift off into an abyss of his own thoughts. so much so, that he hadn’t even noticed that you had approached him from across the training room.

“earth to megumi— hello?” you snapped your fingers in front of his face, rolling your eyes at the distant minded boy as his eyes suddenly snapped to yours “hi, yeah. there you are!”

“sorry, i was distracted.” fushiguro said simply, that same soft smile from earlier returning to his face.

to those who didn’t see him the way you did, or even to those who weren’t a part of your immediate friend group— no one saw fushiguro smile. ever. if you had to compare his daily facial expressions to someone, you’d probably say he reminded you of nanami. always straight faced, serious, and ready to get to the point. but his smile was never foreign to you.

despite the assumption to anyone else, a smile or laughter, or sense of joy from megumi was not a rare sight. in fact, it happened more and more than usual. his tormented soul began to lighten up, and feel free once more. some say it was because of you, but that wasn’t a credit you deserved to claim. not when itadori existed, and gave him the friends he deserved.

you were but a mere bonus in his life.

megumi was no stranger in displaying the fact that he fell for you based on your smile, and humor. he would tell you until he was blue in the face, but what he didn’t know was that the sight of that once rare grin is also what had you swooning in a matter of minutes.

leaning up towards his face, you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek that quickly became the rosy color of the flowers outside in the garden. he was always so easily flustered, “distracted by what, hm?”

between you and megumi, neither one of you craved public displays of affection. you preferred keeping any acts of shared love just to yourselves, behind closed doors only accompanied by the soft glow of the moon.

that however, never stopped the occasional peck on the cheek, or subtle hand holding.

“what am i ever distracted by?”

“training? cursed techniques? shadow puppets?”

fushiguro snorted, “shadow puppets?”

several more giggles left your throat, sounding just the same as earlier, “yeah! you know, demon dogs… flying owl things—“

“divine dogs, and nue.” he interrupted.

“shadow puppets!”

“... shikigami.” megumi looked at you, quickly shaking his head at your antics and refusal to use his cursed techniques proper titles. “no, to all of those... i was distracted by you.”

you gasped loudly, drawing the attention of yuuji and nobara still standing across the room, “by me?! me oh my! not THE fushiguro megumi being distracted by little ‘ol me!”

yuuji and nobara bursted into a fit of laughter, enjoying the scrowl that crossed megumi’s face. though you loved him indefinitely, there was nothing more you enjoyed doing than bringing him embarrassment from your flare for dramatics.

“you’re worse than gojo, you know that?”

“worse than gojo how?” you jetted your bottom lip out, creating a fake pout.

“annoying. a nuisance. unnecessarily loud,” for what felt like the first time in your relationship, megumi took no care in sharing a moment of affection with you in the public eye as he leaned in to steal a kiss. “and a brat… but i suppose that’s why i love you.”

three words was all it took. three words and suddenly the world froze. you couldn’t see anything beyond megumi, you couldn’t hear your friends gasps’ in the background, and you struggled to exhale the breath stuck in your chest. love?

neither one of you knew love before each other, just like neither one of you dared to drop that damned four letter word until now… love terrified you. how could it not in this life? how could love not make you want to run in the opposite direction, fearing that the moment you loved— something would rip away that serenity.

“you… you love me?”

“i love you, y/n.”

another long pause.

your mind was racing, your heart beat felt like it would pulsate out of your chest at any given moment. why did the temperature skyrocket so suddenly? please don’t faint, you told yourself over and over.

surely, at this rate megumi thought he screwed everything up. did you not love him back? was the feeling not mutual? after months of being with one another, growing close, learning each other inside and out… did he read it all wrong?

“y/n, i’m sorr—“

“i love you too.”

that was the moment everything in this dark and gloomy world suddenly made sense. if you had nobody to love, what was the point of living?

megumi fushiguro may have seen you as the sun, and his never ending happiness… but he didn’t know that he was your reason for becoming that light. he would never understand the joy he brought to your dull world.

when he calls me pretty, i feel like somebody.

why is it always raining? you wondered.

to be fair, you didn’t hate the rain. you enjoyed it at times, and found peace in the sounds that came along with it; but it became a hassle when you’d have to travel across the jujutsu high campus. you cursed them for making the dorms such a distance from classes.

mentally preparing for the journey to your room, you tucked your books away into your bag to shield them from the downpour.

the onslaught of rain grew as you stepped out from the awning that protected you. an earthy smell wafted through your nostrils, filling your senses. the wetness against your skin was freezing, making goosebumps rise with each prick of the harsh rains. seconds ago you dreaded stepping out into the horrific weather, but now you stood perfectly still with your face tilted towards the sky enjoying the refreshingness.

all you could hear was the raging thunder up above, and it made you feel free. no sounds of other students could be heard, no screaming noises from the bustling city of tokyo, no ugly walling from cursed spirits. just the thunder, just your breathing, just the droplets of rain falling against the concrete and rooftops around you.

it was a beautiful moment.

which is why you dropped your bag, spread your arms as far as they could reach, and spun in the violent rainfall. the world slowed down for those few seconds.

“are you crazy?!”

your eyes snapped open as you turned to watch fushiguro rush towards you, an umbrella in hand.

“you’re going to get struck by lightning one of these days,” he picked up your bag and tossed it over his shoulder, before holding the umbrella over both of your bodies. “what the hell are you doing out here?”

smiling up at fushiguro, you stepped out from the umbrella once again with a laugh, “i’m enjoying the rain! enjoy it with me!”

you snatched the umbrella, quickly closing it and tossing it to the ground. letting all of your worries and fears fade away, you yearned to have one moment with megumi that wasn’t ripped away by the darkness of your world… one normal moment.

one normal moment where you were just kids playing in the freezing rain.

expecting him to look annoyed at your antics like usual, you were pleasantly surprised to find him matching your smile and looking at you with nothing but bliss.

“you’re so annoying.”

“and you love me,” you grinned.

“... and i love you.”

fushiguro stepped towards you, encasing his arms around your waist as he picked you up and spun you around in a circle. laughter filled the air, and you felt nothing but joy.

time froze as the two of you basked in your youth, enjoying only the company of one another and the rainstorm. it felt like an eternity before your feet met the ground once more. your hair and clothes were soaked, strands of your own hair felt plastered to your face as you giggled. megumi pushed those strands aside, and replaced them with smothering kisses.

“you look different when your hair is wet,” you told him as you pushed it all out of his eyes.

“and you look just as pretty as ever.”

ever since your relationship with megumi began, he’s slowly come further out of that shell that he placed himself in. seeing him be able to enjoy himself like this… it brought a new type of happiness.

kissing his nose quickly, you looked up at the sky as the rain finally lightened up, “you know, if i didn’t know any better i’d say i’m wearing off on you.”

“is that so?” megumi asked, picking up your bag again along with the umbrella.

“mhm! you’ve let loose more,” you huddled close to him underneath the safety of the umbrella for warmth, “finally taking back your youth.”

megumi chuckled, holding you close. “i guess i have my beautiful sun to thank for that, don’t i?”

even when we fade eventually to nothing...

everything was blurry. there was an ache spreading throughout your body, and it felt as if someone was landing a blow to your rib cage over and over again. there was barely any fight left in you, but you would continue to push forward until someone got to you. surely one of the teachers would find you soon, right? of course they would! gojo must’ve been on his way.

that’s what you thought.

it’s what you desperately wanted to believe, but as the time passed you began to think their fight had just begun. you knew what was happening back at the school, you were there when that special grade stepped out and attacked you and inumaki.

the problem was, everyone knew you weren’t strong enough to fight in that battle. inumaki knew. before you knew it, megumi’s divine dog was shoving you away as inumaki commanded you to run in the opposite direction. damn him.

you wanted to curse him for sending you away with the shikigami, but deep down you knew he was right. there were still lower level curses running around, and they needed to be dealt with… but you didn’t foresee coming face to face with mahito as he made his get away from jujutsu high.

“your friends left you all alone? what a shame.” he spoke with a bubbly laugh, watching the blood trickle down from your hairline.

you wanted to speak, you wanted to charge at him and rip him to shreds for everything he’s done. yet, all you could do was cry out in agony as you fell to your knees. every part of your body felt like it would combust into flames at any given second, you weren’t sure if it was from the pain or the sickening warmth of your blood soaking through your clothes. your eyes became heavier, struggling to focus on the laughing maniac in front of you.

the shikigami shielded you from mahito, a deep growl emitting from its body as it took a stance to protect you. the divine creature had one job, and it was to protect you when he was not with megumi; but you couldn’t stand by and watch another one of his shikigami be destroyed. not for your sake.

“return to megumi.” you reach out, your fingertips barely ghosting over it’s fur.

with a sad whine, the divine dog gave you one last look before disappearing from the air. he was safe, and that is all that mattered. he could protect megumi now, and be far away from the monster you faced.

“that demon dog could’ve been your only chance of survival, y/n!” mahito laughed again, causing you to grimace at the sound.

“divine. dog. you scum,” you made no move to try and stand, nor defend yourself. the wounds in your chest, and side were fatal and crippling. there was nothing left for you to do, other than to accept your fate.

as a jujutsu sorcerer, you are taught to live without regret. to live without fear of death. to accept it, when your time comes… but you were terrified.

what kind of cruel life was this?

this was why you did not want to love fushiguro… because every sweet thing, has a bitter end.

you couldn’t remember when your eyes had closed, or when all of the pain in your body seemed to go numb. all you knew is that when you awoke, mahito was gone. you were face to face with gojo as he carried you away from the scene.

your teacher noticed your eyes drifting open almost immediately. for the first time, you saw him look concerned. he wasn’t smiling, or laughing like usual— he looked like he was in as much pain as you felt.

“gojo…” you coughed, blood quickly filled your lungs and nearly made you collapse at the loss of breath.

“save your energy, yn.”

your eyes slowly shut once more, the willpower to survive was fleeting, “tell him… tell him i love him?”

in a whisper that you barely caught, gojo tried his best to scold you for your shitty goodbye, “you’re not going to die, you’re staying here.”

“protect him, satoru… protect them all.”

they say that when you die, you experience a flashback of your entire life in seconds. that was the worst lie you had ever heard. aside from finally escaping the pain, all you saw was a blinding flash of white and the memory of the very last kiss you ever shared with megumi…

… you will always be my favorite form of loving.

weeks after your funeral, megumi visited your grave every single day. each day, a new flower was brought from the garden of jujutsu high. the garden where he grew the nerve to ask you to be his girlfriend, the garden where you kissed for the very first time, said your first i love you, and danced in the rain as if your youth depended on it.

an array of flowers built up around your grave, and you all swore that before you knew it? megumi and nobara would have their own garden to tend to around you.

you hoped they would, and that it would bring them joy… just as you once had.

staring down at where you laid in the ground, megumi placed down the head of a single lotus flower on the front of your tombstone.

ETERNAL SUN Y/N L/N.

friend. family. student. lover.

cherished by many, adored by all.

in life, or in death, you would always be the eternal sunlight to megumi fushiguro. no matter the consequences to your spirit, you vowed to never leave his side and to always protect him and your friends.

a loyal guardian from the other side. their guide.

your spirit smiled, glancing from megumi’s tear streaked face to the sight of the moon as you placed a hand on his shoulder. being a part of the supernatural world now, fushiguro could sense your presence.

“the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” megumi mumbled to your grave, the rain pouring down around the umbrella you once shared together.

you whispered to the wind, “i can die happy…”

authors note ; this was so fun to write. this is the first thing i’ve written that’s over 1k words and posted. if megumi is ooc, mind your business </3 i’m trying to learn him as a character xoxo

reblogs are appreciated!!

© All rights reserved by SHOKAMI. Do not modify, repost on any platforms, plagiarize, or claim as your own.

[chaosandwolves]

Where do we go from here?

Pairing: Eddie Diaz & Evan Buckley

Tags: Episode 5x18, post breakdown, you can have my back, it’s your mess now, Eddie Diaz understands that Evan Buckley is an integral part of his life

Summery: His eyes land on a frame from which the glass has been broken out of. It's one of his happiest memories. Someone has broken out the remaining shards and neatly placed the frame back on Eddie's drawer dresser. Probably Buck. Buck. 

or

Eddie's thoughts before Buck and him start to fix the holes in his bedroom wall.

A/N: Ep 5x18, huh?

Honestly, all these references and parallels that happened in this episode just have such a grip on me. And the entire thing of Ana's "It's your mess now" and Buck being there to fix things just made my head spin so I had to get this out of my system.

I hope you enjoy.

Word Count: 1137

Read on AO3

I guess, it's your mess now… 

Ana's words echo through his mind as he lets his eyes wander over the holes in the wall. There are more than he first anticipated. 

I guess, it's your mess now. 

It took him two days to enter his room again. The 48 hours following his…. Him losing it, are a blur of serious talks, exhaustion and nightmares. He passed out on the sofa a couple of times, not daring to go back into his bedroom. 

Buck had offered him to come over and stay at his and so had Bobby. But he had already scared Chris and didn't want him to have to sleep in another bed. And there was Taylor at Buck's and Athena and the kids at Bobby's when Eddie just wanted some calm, some vacuum space of silence and peace. 

It's your mess now. 

His eyes land on a frame from which the glass has been broken out of. It holds a photo of him and Chris at the beach. Chris is laughing his bright laugh that can light up a room and there is sand on Eddie's face. He had asked a stranger if they could take a picture of him and his son. This photo captures the moments after they posed. When Chris had offered Eddie a sand cake and pressed it into his face. 

It's one of his happiest memories. 

Someone has broken out the remaining shards and neatly placed the frame back on Eddie's drawer dresser. 

Probably Buck. 

Buck. 

Buck, who Chris had called when Eddie had been busy breaking everything around him into pieces because it had felt so wrong seeing all these whole, neatly arranged and clean things around him when he was so utterly broken and tinged with darkness and smudged with guilt. 

Buck, who had not hesitated a second and had rushed over to Eddie's house.

Who had broken down his shut and locked door and pushed his way in and joined Eddie in the mess he had created around himself. 

I guess, it's your mess now. 

Buck, who had gently slipped the destructive tool out of his hand. Who had held Eddie for just a moment before he pulled him up and off the floor and guided him out of this. 

Buck, who had patiently waited for Eddie to talk to him. 

Who hadn’t flinched when Eddie couldn't stop yet another wave of tears. 

Who had been a steady and reassuring presence by his side when Eddie's breathing had grown ragged and who had softly talked him back. 

Buck, who had gently but determinately pulled Eddie's hands towards him to inspect the damage. 

Who had so carefully cleaned the split knuckles even though it hadn’t been really necessary. 

It's your mess now. 

Buck, who took his son to school the next morning and who was thoughtful enough to call Bobby so Eddie wouldn't find himself abandoned and alone in this mess. 

Buck, who takes care of Chris and even does homework with him while Eddie tears himself open in therapy.

Buck, who patiently listens to him and notices all the grief and hurt and helplessness dragging Eddie down and robbing him of sleep. 

Who watches Eddie getting lost; watches him spiralling with nothing to steady him. Who just goes and hands him an anchor which grounds him within all this randomness in his life that Eddie has no control over. 

He lets out a long breath. 

And now, now Eddie is standing in his room and looking at the wall and waiting for Buck to arrive. 

Buck, who likes to fix things. 

Buck, who offered -or rather more insisted- to come over to help Eddie to fix this mess. 

His gaze travels to his bedside table where another photograph is placed in a frame that Chris decorated. 

It's from Chris' birthday. 

His son is sitting in a chair, grinning, a big colorful cake in front of him while Eddie is standing half behind him smiling. And Buck is crouched down next to Chris helping him to blow out the candles, his cheeks round, full of air and he looks ridiculous like that. 

But it makes Eddie smile every time he looks at it. 

That's why it's right next to his bed. A way to buy himself time before the next nightmare sets in. 

A way to drag himself back into reality after dreams that seemed way too real. 

Buck has always been at his side since that grenade. 

Has has cared about Chris since the second Eddie mentioned him. 

Eddie in turn, has looked after Buck and has reminded him of his own value over and over again. 

And Buck? 

He's saved Chris' life. 

He's saved Eddie's life.

Eddie walks over and picks up the frame. 

Eddie and Chris and Buck. 

By now the lives of them three seem to be inevitably interwoven with each other.

His eyes come to a rest on Buck. 

Buck. 

Buck. 

Buck and Eddie. 

They always have each other's back. Always. 

And Eddie knows, even during that time when they grew apart, he knows that if Eddie really had needed him; if he hadn't been too proud and stubborn himself, Buck would have been there. 

Cause that's what they do. 

They both know that they got each other's back. 

They've both seen each other at their worst. 

They've both seen each other being so close to giving up. 

And they've both convinced each other to try again and to move on; encouraged each other to let go and to start healing. 

When Ana left, she had told him, "I guess, it's your mess now." 

And she was right. She was. 

And because he refused to acknowledge it, he ended up creating an even bigger mess. 

But there is one thing Ana didn't understand. 

While it was his mess, he hasn’t been alone in it. 

He has Chris. 

And Bobby and Hen and Chim and the rest of the firehouse family. And now he even has some people from dispatch. 

And he has Buck. 

Buck, who has been and always will be there when Eddie needs him. 

Who would never leave him alone in his mess. Of his own making or not. 

Buck has his back. 

And Eddie has Buck's. 

The front door rattles and the familiar cheering voice sounds through the house. 

"Hey Eds, I picked up a few more supplies, just in case." 

Eddie sets the frame back down. 

He steps out of the room and smiles at Buck who is already coming down the hall, carrying way too many bags. 

"I knew you would." 

Buck smiles that smile that at first is so adorably sheepish and then turns into a cocky grin. 

"Oh yeah? We are psychic now, are we?" 

And Eddie just smiles as a warm feeling spreads in his chest. 

[max-julyfield]

HOW DARE THEY

CUT THE EPISODE THERE

H O W DA R E

did you watch ep 8?????? AAAAAAHHHH i really wanted to see anya freak out over her uncle and mother being unhinged murderers-

also i think gloob is planning to premiere mlb s5 soon dates aren't out though

WHAT I DIDNT WATCH EP8

IM PREOCCUPIED WITH STRANGER THINGS-

yeah i read it is planned for june

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

BIG FUCKIN LOKI EP 5 THOUGHTS (spoilers ahead…obviously)

-big smoke babey???

-Sylvie's curly hair 🥺🥺🥺

-judge renslayer I don’t fuckin trust you one goddamn bit

-WHY WOULD SHE FICKING TRUST YOU FUCK YOU

-alligator Loki is everything to me

-"All I know is I got pruned and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange” I LOVE YOUFJENDK

- I am in love with alligator loki

-buff Loki sarcastic ALSO HOLY SHIT???? KID LOKI FUCKIN KILLED THOR?? KESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-TINY THORNSCJSKDJ

-”why do you want to return to the TVA”

“Did you leave your glorious purpose there?” JFKSKFKD GOT EM

-tHEY JUST CONVENIENTLY HAVE A VOID SOACECRAFT LYING AROUND OKAY BITCH GOOD FUCKIN TIMING RAVONNA

-fuckin called it bitch

-"do you have any good memories?” Fuck you ravonna

-HOLY SHIT SHE PRUNED HERSELF

-marvel if you pull this selfcest bs when Loki and Sylvia reunite I’ll go rabid

-HAPPY GIGGLE ALLOGATOR LOKI IN POOL

-AALOGATOR LOKI ATE THE BEIGHBORS CATDKSJCKSJ

-classic Loki is the only smart bitch

-so….Loki’s timeline continues? HE SIRVIVES AFTER INFINITY WAR???

-Loki:*rousing speech*

The other Lokis: no ❤️

-okay so what’s the beef between these Loki groups

-THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL WHATD SHE DO

-is it mobius

-pls tell me it’s mobius

-ITS MOVIUS ITS MOBIUS ITS MOBIUS IM GONNA CRY ITS MY BOY

-I’m crying real tears i haven’t felt this much serotonin since I watched Save The Cat from shera s5 I had to stand up and walk around my house but I can’t DO THAT BECAUSE ITS 3 am

-I walked around my room I had to pause for a bit

-moving on

-“you should be careful just jumping into a strangers car like that” I LOVE YOU YOU FUCKIN BASTARD

-“watch out!”

“I see it I see it”

“Really because you’re driving RIGHT towards it”

“God you really are one of you”

-THE MONIUS/SYLVIE INTERACTION IVE BEEN CRAVING

-loki veing super fucking done with his own variants is SO FUNNY

-TBEY JUST KEEP BACKSTABBING WACH TOHERRKDIFJSJ

-"WHY RHE HELL IS THERE AN ALLIGATOR IN HERE"

"HES A LOKI"

-HE BIT OFD HIS FUCKING HANDKFODKCKS

-KID LOKI HOLDING ALLIGATOR LOKI LIKE A BABYYYYY

-our Loki trying ro sneak out of the Loki brawl

-"and whenever one of us dares to fix ourselves they send us here to die" cries?? Ur so little

-sylvie I love u but girl

-"cmon Mobius let's just drive into the thing that EATS MATTER"

-"just bc its not complicated dossnt mwan it's bad"

"doesn't mean it's good"

-THE ALLIHATIE IS PRAYINGDJCKSJD

-did the tva ORUNE THE SHIO???

-better yet did they ARRESTTHE SHIP??

-many questions

-REUNION EEUNION LOKIUS REUNION

-IM GONNA CRY

-I LOVW RHEM

-CRIWS

-"US AS AN ALLIGATOE"

-ALL QUESTIONING THEIR PLANSJCISJFKS

-sylvje being like "oh my God THAY was your plan"

-mobius I love you

-I wanted a better ruinion marvel I better get SOMETHINF

-UR TELLING ME LOKI ALMOST CRIED WHEN MOBIUS WAS ORUNED AND HE JUST GIVES HIM A HALF ASSED 'MOBIUS!' WHEN HE SEES HIM AGAIN??? OKAY

-ravonna what r u up to

-B-15 NOOO

-I want more b-15 content

-also she's hot

-ur telling me Mobius read about literally everything Loki related and doesn't remember the ALIGATOR???

-I am loving the Lokis and Mobius interactions

-questioning alligator Loki on whether or not he's Loki

-"HE CARWS ABOUT YOU" LOKIUS??

-pls dont

-pls dont share the blanket

-okay cool no selfcest

-pls

-this is awkwaed

-FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS

-God pls just admit you're friends

-theyre sharing the blanket OK fine

-judging his blanket conjuring skills I see

-i am actually appreciating the friendly nudges I do want them to be close

-nebermind I take it back

-THE DAEK ASTERRRRR

-HEY BITCH

-sylvie I believe in you

-loki you stupid bitch

-WE'RE SPLIRTING UP LOKI AND MOBIUS AGAIN?? HOMOPHOBES

-im mad

-I better see more of them I STG ILL GO FERAL

-HUG HUG HUG

-THEY HUGGED I'M GONNA CRY BUT STILL

-HE CALLED MOBIUS 'MY FRIEND' GOODBYE

-I LOVE THEM

-sob

-stilk mad abour them splitting up

-alioth is baby right? Can we all agree?

-loki if u sacrficie yourself

-bitch

-OMG AZIRAPHALE MOMENT

-FLAMINH SWORD???

-hot

-SO FUCKING TRUE CLASSIC LOKI LOVE U BITCH

-HW JUST CREATED AN ENTIRE ASGADD ILLUSION

-LOKI I BELIEVE IN U

-NOOOO DONR EAT CLASSIC LOKI

-OH HES HELPING??

-ope

-nvm

-GOT EM

-FUCK YEAAHHHHY

-K so what's all this then

[viriyanon]

epilogue (pt. 2)

part 1 | part 2

after gathering so much energy i finally post the 2nd part. and this will be about our love fool, chief phupha viriyanon and how i learn a lot from him.

p.s this completely does have nothing to do with me being an earth stan, yes

to be honest, i dont really have anything to say about episode 10 due to my lack of experience in intense romantic affair. im not sure about the feeling of getting reciprocated so i can only enjoy phupha tian being two fools in love lmao. also, being a tomboy with 5, 6 male friends constantly surrounding me and taking different roles in my life is already enough for me so... romance is kinda my weakness.

since the beginning of this drama, i immediately felt connected more to phupha. at first, i didn’t know that their age gap was pretty far but then i learned about it and i thought, oh my that’s why. phupha is an old soul. i am also an old soul. 

everything else just followed after the realization. the way phupha behaved towards a stranger who, additionally, was a supposed rich brat that would just drain his energy, the way he acted cool and tough as to assert his dominance over a newcomer but still panicked and immediately jumped into the frigid waterfall when someone he’s responsible for was not in his line of sight. phupha who couldn’t stand injustice. phupha who gave hard times and provoked tian all the time just to test his persistence, phupha who only gave his best smile and utmost attention to someone he cared about, phupha whose heart was actually soft and vulnerable because tian was his first in everything related to love and when his trust was broken, he scrambled back to build the thick-walled tower without stopping because he feared the only thing he had in life would be taken or destroyed, phupha who couldn’t admit what his heart really wanted and needed someone to fish it out of him. phupha who was ever forgiving and wise, phupha who in fact wanted a life companion and was a hopeless romantic, phupha who wanted the best for the love of his life even if it means sacrificing his happiness and risking his own safety if necessary.

phupha who was a guardian more than a lover and an older figure.

phupha is somehow everything that i am and will be in the future, therefore, my writings are mostly about him whose characteristic was not disclosed as explicitly as tian because it is a form of reflection. and yes, i know i took phupha’s side all the time, even when people were disappointed by his impulsivity. because i understand that feelings, to the point that i so was upset watching ep 8. i thought, “this is what i will do when im faced the same thing and maybe even worse but dude, it’s not right. ur supposed to be rational.” and i was stuck in confusion.

the existence of phupha makes me realize a lot about myself. that i’ve been so cold and reticent towards my own feelings and desire. if i allow myself to give no fck about what others will say about my decision without jeopardizing them, to put what i want to do instead of what i supposed to do on top of every consideration, maybe i’d find a peace of mind. maybe, i won’t be so fearful about failure and heartbreak and dissatisfaction in life. maybe, if i say what i exactly want, i will get exactly what i want. my thought indeed materializes.

also remember when torfun said that maybe phupha hadn’t found someone he loved so much when phupha said he didn’t want to see his partner in agony because he saw his mother cried when his dad passed away. at that moment, a thought instantly flashed in my mind. ah, so it is real. when you really love someone, you will try your best to survive and not die in some random places because you don’t want to be the cause of their sadness. you can’t be the reason of their tears and agony. and it’s what phupha hadn’t achieved, as well as me. maybe a reason to live is not only about an achievement. it can be as simple as someone’s existence or someone else’s happiness. but i can’t testify this yet. just, yet.

furthermore, i learn from phupha that i need a partner who can break me out of my boring routine and the said fortress, crack a smile on my face too by acting cute. someone who gives little surprises everyday, not presents but little things like their way of thinking, their reaction towards a situation, their story. someone who will ask me repeatedly if i really want this or that. someone who is sassy and daring yet loves to be taken care of. because phupha (and i)’s no. 1 love language is acts of service and if it’s not met, he simply won’t be satisfied and will feel jittery and uncomfortable for not proving something to his partner.

never in my life, would i learn deeper about love language if it’s not because of phupha.

to conclude, yes i talked too much about phupha it’s like exposing myself to the whole atots hypemen. im annoyingly attached to him, i know. but phupha’s appearance is so groundbreaking in my whole history of watching dramas. he’s so realistic, so grounded to the facts of existence, so straightforward, and it made him skeptical. but that didn’t mean he couldn’t and wouldn’t learn to change for a better of his life. when he finally opened up to change, he found a light. his own star. someone that he would want to see every night and day indefinitely.

im not tearing up writing this but aye sarunchana singing in the background really gets me into the mood. im reminded of so many dynamics in atots, how a thai drama that i side-eyed most of the time can make me feel again. not only towards my cold love life but also my regard to life.

[dirt-grub]

Dan and or chris for the headcannon thingy?

OKAY ONCE MORE FROM THE TOP CAUSE TUMBLR ATE THE LAST ONE

ahem.

Headcanon A: what I think realistically

Dan had a shit childhood and shit parents, and isn’t dealing with any of the issues spawned by that, hence why his life is kind of a disaster and his functionality as an independent adult is uh. subpar. 

Having grown up together and witnessed some of it secondhand, Chris knows not to bring it up too much with Dan. They both have an unspoken agreement and understanding not to approach certain topics with each other. They’re very good at reading each other, so Chris knows exactly how much he can actually get away with prodding Dan to act like a people for once, and vice versa Dan knows when to actually drop an argument when it gets into a serious place. Its incredibly weird for Elise to watch, and as incredibly close she is with Chris they have a very close bond that’s difficult for her to understand with how far back it goes. Also, in the beginning of Chris and Elise’s relationship, despite very vocally objecting to the entire thing when Chris was around, Dan begrudgingly gave Elise advice on how to speak Chris essentially, telling her what to avoid and what to talk about with him. He phrased it in a condescending way but we all know he was being a softie because he knows Elise makes Chris happy :,)

(also bonus every single roadtrip with all three of them ends up like this)

Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious 

Dan is always visibly covered in cat hair. Trust me I’ve had a black and white cat before and you just can’t win. Whatever color you wear SOME of the fur will ALWAYS show up on it. You can always tell where Dan has been you just follow the trail

Chris’ gap/chip/whatever in his front teeth were the result of some dare. Based on a story from my childhood where we all dared a kid on my bus to lick the frozen bus window, and the bus jerked and he smashed his face on it and lost a tooth. Luckily irl it was a baby tooth but like that seems like a very Chris thing to happen even tho im sure its actually just genetic (also Brian if youre out there im sorry i laughed at you when you lost your tooth and im also sorry i stole your holographic staraptor pokemon card. id still have it if it wasnt for that miserable little troll bastard down the street who then stole it from ME a few years later. poetic justice i guess)

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

*cracks knuckles* i was born for this

Dan’s never slept a full night in his entire adult life, and has terrible nightmares constantly. His hypervigilance directly comes from his awful childhood, and Chris is his one single source of stability where most well adjusted people would have an entire complex system of friends and family to rely on. Chris is his ‘safe’ person -which I think is primarily an anxiety term but oh boy trust me is it a post traumatic thing also- The two have fundamentally different outlooks on the world and relationships, so theirs is pretty complicated, with Chris not actually realizing that despite the poor treatment, Dan has him on a pedestal in his mind that no one else has ever been privy to before. He has a damn shitty way of showing affection, but its revealed through his constant dependency on Chris and Chris alone that he holds him in incredibly high regards and would likely be devastated into complete nonfunctionality without him around. 

Chris has some self esteem issues with this and how it relates to his perceived importance in the lives of his loved ones. With Elise as well, he feels overshadowed by her talent and dependability, not realizing he’s the rock keeping both her and Dan grounded and relatively happy. Elise however is way better at communicating how much she loves Chris and genuinely both needs and wants him around. Also, I believe that Dan’s insane plots are some sort of an appeal to Chris in an outdated way- when they were younger they used to make those crazy plans together, as evidenced by the camp episode and mentioned a few times in passing (there was some line that stuck out to me in the gym ep along the lines of lets do it like old times, come up with a plan together) in Dan’s disconnected mind, he’s still in the past where Elise was never a participant in their lives and Chris and him were still immature and carefree, just the two of them against the world. In a misguided way, he thinks he’s inviting Chris to something fun and nostalgic every time he drags him along for something insane, not realizing in cases like the camp episode they were in the right and forced to fight back against something, and that stretching small grievances into huge meltdowns is an issue, the opposite of what would appeal to Chris now in his adulthood. Part of him is worried about him and that old bond being left behind if he doesn’t keep that very specific set of circumstances going. 

that got too long and psychoanalyzey lets move on HKDAUSL

D: would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

TRANS TRANS TRANS T

this isnt as much a headcanon as an observation but dan has powerful new yorker energy (to me, the new yorker who never shuts up about new yorking). he just checks off a lot of the stereotypes and i wouldnt be surprised if the two of them had grown up around here instead of always living in cali like is canon. he checks all the boxes, rude, loud, opinionated, impatient, cant drive but complains about every other driver on the road, snobby in a weird despite living in a shithole apartment in a cesspool neighborhood, confrontational with complete strangers, colorful aggressive language, the whole thing. ive found personally that whenever im far enough out of state it is PAINFULLY obvious im from new york, given how im just naturally more aggressive in my speaking and mannerism completely unintentionally. Like, ive got a sailors mouth, i complain REAL hyperbolically, and until i noticed it it genuinley put people off who werent used to it HDUSALAS its just. the norm here. im not as angry as i sound lmfao i just talk real aggressive which is v dan

[fytheuntamed]

I used to see WWX as sunshine incarnated and how it hurt me when I realized that it's mostly just fake and he's really not. I thought he was such a genuine person and when I realized that he hides so much of himself that he's not very genuine at all my heart broke a little and I needed to share my feelings. I still love him though, but it was a huge shock to me that everything I initially fell in love with was actually wrong. I hope this little ramble wasn't a bother.

Hello, anon! First off, you’re not bothering me at all; even if I can’t reply to all of them, I read and appreciate every ask I get. I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit disillusioned with WWX; I know some would say he’s just a fictional character, but I think all of us here can attest to the power fictional characters have in impacting the lives of real people. Your ask made me think a lot about who WWX is, so I hope you don’t mind me sharing my own thoughts on the matter! Just a few disclaimers before I get into it: all analysis is based off of drama!WWX, as that is the adaption I know best, so keep this in mind as you read because I know his characterization varies a bit from adaption to adaption. WWX also happens to be my favorite character from the show, so this could will get long :’) I’m also going to continue on with the assumption that you’ve seen the show in its entirety!

I think one of the most important things to understand about people, fictional or real, is that we, like ogres, have layers. This is just what happens when you exist in a world where different settings with different people bring out different sides of us as dictated by societal norms. Does this make someone fake? I would say no, mainly because I think there’s a difference between acting “fake” and being fake. Anytime I speak on the phone with a stranger I automatically assume my “telephone voice,” which sounds quite different from my talking-with-friends-and-family-voice. I don’t leave such phone calls thinking to myself, “wow, I’m such a fake,” because I know that when speaking with strangers, being more polite than I would be around close friends and family is respectful. I think what it comes down to for me is, regardless of how I am presenting myself, am I staying true to my beliefs and values? This is why I think WWX is in fact very genuine, and I would also argue that it is his genuine nature (once revealed) that attracts LWJ to WWX.

Returning to the idea of people having layers, we must recognize that people are not static; we are constantly reacting to our settings and thus our moods fluctuate accordingly. WWX is sunshine incarnate, but he is also someone who has suffered a great deal over the course of his life. To expect him to smile no matter what is a cruel burden to impose on him, and I believe it is a burden he feels in canon. Because both Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu impress upon WWX that he must keep Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng safe, that they are the priority, WWX feels compelled to smile and put on a strong facade so that he doesn’t crumble and fall apart, thus “failing” his adoptive parents and siblings. So while these smiles may simply be masks to hide his pain, thus not “real” smiles, they do not make WWX himself fake, but rather (imo) reinforce his genuine nature because his motives are genuine, even if his smiles may not always be.

There are also times when he smiles and acts extremely cocky in front of others, only for this facade to immediately fall away the moment he is alone/out of the public eye. One of my favorite examples of this is in episode 26 when he questions Jin Zixun about the whereabouts of Wen Ning. The entire time he is there, he exudes a cocky disregard for formality and the established hierarchy, even going so far as to say, “If I, Wei Wuxian, want to kill someone, who can stop me? Who would dare to stop me?!” Once he has the information he needs and turns to leave, however, we immediately see the cockiness fall from his face to be replaced by one of...remorse? I’ll let you guys decide for yourselves.

[gif credit]

I think it is worth noting that his facade fades once he looks at LWJ, because LWJ is one of the few people at this point in time who WWX respects, and whose opinion of WWX still holds value to WWX. And so again we see that WWX’s outward behavior does not seem to align with his inner feelings. Look at the situation that WWX is in, though. He is just one man, albeit a powerful one, going against the biggest, most powerful clans. If he shows an ounce of weakness, they’ll eat him alive. And so in order to stay true to his beliefs, WWX puts on a show. In episode 25 we also see WWX put on a show of shooting many arrows simultaneously while blindfolded. @cal3ris made an excellent post on here stating that WWX was not just doing this to show off, but that he was ensuring the temporary safety of the Wen prisoners by pulling off such a feat so as to ensure no other cultivator would attempt the challenge after him. In situations such as this one, it works in WWX’s favor that the vast majority of the cultivation world believes him to be nothing but a showoff with a big mouth. And of course, there is a part of WWX that does enjoy being in the spotlight! Especially if someone he wants to impress is watching~

At the beginning of the Gusu days flashback (ep 3), we see WWX before everything goes to hell. He’s constantly smiling, goofing around, and is a genuine gremlin of a lad. This is real! He’s a teenager in the flush of his youth, he’s with his beloved siblings, he’s smart and talented, the list goes on and on. For people who don’t know WWX, he comes off as a shallow person with no real depth who thinks of nothing but goofing around all day. For those who know WWX intimately, like Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng (though he’s less vocal about it), they know this is not the case. The point is, WWX doesn’t care what people think about him. He doesn’t care because he knows who he is and what he stands for. This is a huge part of who WWX is as a person: “I don’t care if they slander me, as long as I have a clear conscience.” It is also one of the defining things that connect Wangxian to one another, which brings me to the point of LWJ being someone whom WWX hates to deceive, because he greatly values LWJ’s good opinion of him. We see how much it pains WWX to put distance between himself and LWJ, but we also see that WWX is willing to do so if he believes it is for the best. In episode 20, after being reunited with Jiang Cheng and LWJ, we see WWX purposefully push LWJ away with cold precision. Once more he plays his role with practiced ease, but we see his mask fall as he watches LWJ walk away.

WWX goes from this:

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to this as soon as LWJ isn’t looking at him:

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Having just returned from the Burial Mounds, WWX is very unstable, both physically and mentally. For the past months that he’s spent in the Burial Mounds, survival has been his priority. We see this instability and the signs of PTSD manifest quite a bit throughout the Sunshot episodes. In episode 20 Jiang Cheng hugs WWX, who honestly seems at a loss as to how to respond. In episode 20 we see LWJ step towards WWX, who immediately steps back. We also see WWX shrink away from Nie Huaisang’s touch. This is incredibly telling because WWX is someone who likes physical touch and proximity. He’s constantly putting his arms around Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang and constantly puts himself in LWJ’s personal space (much to LWJ’s initial chagrin). I believe WWX’s behavior post Burial Mounds comes from a desire to protect himself from those around him as well as those around him from himself. [apt gifset here] Nothing about this WWX is fake to me. He is acting differently here because he is different. Trauma does not define a person, but it does change a person. Post Burial Mounds WWX is a different person, but he has not lost what makes him him, which is his strong commitment to his beliefs and morals. For WWX during this time, I don’t believe he has the emotional strength to relive his trauma to those closest to him, so he settles for brushing them off with excuses and yes, fake smiles. This also ties into WWX’s habit of internalizing his own struggles so as not to burden those around him. Hopefully at this point a clear pattern has revealed itself: no matter how WWX presents himself on the outside, he never compromises his beliefs.

After being resurrected in Mo Xuanyu’s body, we see a WWX who is far more reminiscent of the carefree teenager back in Gusu. We see WWX slowly heal from the traumas of his past life and we see him begin to smile again, not because he needs to, but because he can’t help it. We might be tempted to look at this WWX and think, “ah, this is the real him,” but I think this does a disservice to the complexity of his character. The point is, it’s all WWX. The pranks, the smiles that crinkle the corners of his eyes, the creativity, the cockiness, the way his laughter bursts out of his body at times and at other times comes out like a sigh or an afterthought, the way he looks out for the juniors, and both his quiet and loud rage are all what makes him who he is. Certain aspects may be muted at times, but that’s to be expected. WWX is by no means perfect, but I would say he is painfully genuine. Just think, would LWJ feel so strongly about him if he weren’t?

As I feared, this got way too long and I probably rambled and repeated myself and got off track, but it’s fine…..