#this is not a new premise for me i’ve written it several times for several different fandoms/original works

[lucky-clover-gazette]

when i get some free time and can balance it with my other responsibilities i do fully intend to write some kind of canon divergent fic where the (adult) player character matches volo’s freak and helps him workshop his shitty plan

[aethon-recs]

Tomarrymort Advanced Pack – 12 Longfic Recs

If you’ve made your way through the Tomarrymort Starter Pack and Intermediate Pack reads, here are 12 beautifully written, timeless fics that are Tomarrymort on hard mode for when you’re ready to dive into something that will really challenge your every reading muscle. This selection of fics features some of the most skilled writing I’ve come across in the entire fandom, and I love how these authors tackle incredibly complex subject matter and plotlines and characterization choices with such bold and unflinching perspectives.

Please mind all tags (including CCNTW, explained here) as you may find some themes within some of these fics difficult or challenging to read for a variety of reasons.

This is Part 3 of a 3-part series (see here for Part 1 and Part 2). I hope you get as much enjoyment from reading these additional 3.1 million words of incredible Tomarrymort longfic as I have!

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Tomarrymort Advanced Reads

ǟʟʍǟɢɛֆȶ by eldritcher (M, 134k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Harry and Dumbledore team up with Voldemort to save the magical world from a catastrophic threat. Why I rec it: Eldritcher delivers one of the most epic love stories of a lifetime — with Harry and Voldemort surviving a trip to the moon and back, and Harry’s love for Voldemort transcending time and space after Voldemort makes the ultimate sacrifice to save the world and, against all odds, return to Harry. The prose is absolutely transcendent — amongst the best I’ve encountered not only in fanfic, but in all of fiction I’ve ever read. I can’t say enough about how much I love Elditcher’s writing style and how beautifully the story unfolds — there’s a very nice lyrical rhythm underlying all the sentence structure and word choice in the fic that flows like nothing else I’ve read before.

Anabiosis by @itsevanffs (E, 32k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence Pre-Book 1 Premise: If Voldemort resurrects early and takes a teaching job at Harry’s primary school. Why I rec it: This is one of the best and most realistic and gutting depictions I’ve ever read of the quiet tragedy of Harry’s pre-Hogwarts years growing up experiencing severe neglect and an absence of love throughout his entire childhood. @itsevanffs did a magnificent job of capturing Harry’s limited POV and all the fluttering hope his still-trusting heart holds when he meets Mr Riddle, the first teacher who’s ever treated him with kindness. My heart ached so much for Harry throughout this fic, and the emotional arc in this story has continued to haunt me for a very long time afterwards.

Eight Days a Week by @vestiges-of-light (E, 802k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 7 Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry shortly after his sixth year, which leads to an unlikely truce and eventual partnership that ends up saving the magical world. Why I rec it: This fic combines a sprawling political epic with an incredibly extensive exploration of kink. The author asks a great question in the tags: "Why is only vanilla sex literary?" — and this fic does a fantastic job of proving that messy, filthy, raw sex scenes don’t have to be made sanitized or palatable for mainstream consumption in order to have just as much of a place in a plot-driven, serious longfic as vanilla sex does. Against the high-stakes backdrop of international political intrigue, there’s a very nice domesticity to Harry and Voldemort’s relationship, and how much they trust each other and can be stripped bare and vulnerable in front of each other is very poignant and touching to read about.

Embryo by @cannibalinc (NR, 28k, WIP)

Setting: Time Travel (1940s) Premise: If mysterious new transfer student Harry appears in Tom’s sixth year in a state of near complete amnesia. Why I rec it: One of the defining character traits of Tom Riddle is that he’s an absolute genius — the most talented academic mind to ever walk through the doors of Hogwarts — and this fic absolutely delivers on that aspect. Told from Tom’s POV, this fic is like reading a complex multidisciplinary text spanning philosophy and physics and mathematics and magical theory, all interconnected by the mystery of how Harry appeared and where he came from and why he is so utterly forgettable to everyone but Tom.

found by @honbug (E, 112k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Tom grows up in a world with no magic, but has had strange recurring dreams his whole life — dreams of a boy with green eyes and a scar, dreams of a dark graveyard and magical snakes and other mysterious things. Why I rec it: The character work done in this fic is absolutely breathtaking — one of the best character studies of Tom Riddle I’ve ever come across. This is a Tom who grew up without magic, but is no less cold and vicious and psychopathic and teetering on the edge of madness. The story arc follows Tom from his early childhood through his rise as a ruthless leader in an organized crime syndicate not unlike the Death Eaters — all the while that he’s haunted by dreams of Harry, his Harry, even as the dreams start to drive him to the brink of insanity.

how large the teeth by MaidenMotherCrone (E, 257k, complete)

Setting: Voldemort Wins AU Premise: If Harry grows up as an outcast in a world where Grindelwald and Voldemort have already won long before he is born, but he’s still the subject of a prophecy that designates him as their world’s savior. Why I rec it: The worldbuilding is so exquisite and complex in this fic — the author did a spectacular job at completely reimagining the wizarding world from the ground up if the Dark Lord were to win a long time ago and how their extremely inequitable society would subsequently be structured. Harry’s defiance throughout is lovely, and his growing entanglement with Voldemort adds to all the high-stakes and risky moves that he makes throughout the fic. The plotline is very action-packed — a lot of complex plot threads are interwoven throughout the story, with an undercurrent of revolution and discontent simmering under the surface until it explodes in a glorious finale.

In Willing Sacrifice by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 1,197k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 4 Premise: If Harry finds Voldemort in Riddle Manor the summer before his fourth year, and enters into an unlikely alliance with him before returning to school that year. Why I rec it: This fic covers so much ground — at 1.2 million words (so far!), it’s the most detailed rewrite of canon starting from book 4 that I’ve ever come across, weaving in plenty of magical theory and political intrigue as Voldemort takes Harry under his protection initially in a mentor capacity. The relationship between Harry and Voldemort unfolds in such a beautiful way in this fic — with Harry growing to fall in love with Voldemort, despite all of Voldemort’s murderous and violent qualities, without losing an ounce of his humanity or the inherent goodness inside of his heart along the way.

Lover's Spit by @blogalinda, @k3uuu (E, 88k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Harry and Tom grow up in a small town together in northern England, and Tom has harbored an obsession for Harry ever since primary school. Why I rec it: An absolutely stunning coming-of-age story set in modern times. This story is striking in so many different ways. It perfectly captures the voice of fringe internet communities in such an authentic way. It also poignantly captures the social isolation and erosion of privacy from living in a small town where gossip spreads like wildfire, and how the internet amplifies these dynamics. At the core of the story is a really sweet love story between Tom and Harry that I am literally obsessed with — every single one of their interactions is so tender and pure — and it’s such a startling contrast to how Tom’s internet persona is portrayed that makes the sweetness all the more heartfelt.

Mi Aedijekit by @kitastrophea (M, 282k, WIP)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Harry is captured by Voldemort and placed under the Draught of Living Death, only to awaken in the far future where Voldemort has ruled over their world for over a thousand years. Why I rec it: A linguistic and sociological tour de force. When Harry wakes up from his magical coma over a thousand years into the future, the world has been entirely transformed, and the skill and effort that the author undertook in fleshing out a society where there’s been a thousand years of cultural change and evolution in language can’t be understated. One of the most unique and fun aspects of the story is learning the new vocabulary of the future alongside Harry for the first time. I love how the fic examines how even Voldemort gets bored with immortality after a millennia of ruling — and how, even with a thousand years separating them and memories of the earlier times scattered to the wind, Harry and Voldemort are still inextricably drawn together.

Of Kings, Of Pawns, and Of Men by @ambivalens999 (E, 129k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 5 Premise: If Voldemort ends up in Harry’s body and Harry ends up in Tom Riddle’s body after a bad encounter with the dementors at the beginning of book 5, and they can’t figure out how to swap back. Why I rec it: This is such an interesting take on the bodyswap trope, which is given a very serious and plotty treatment here. For fear of the safety of his friends, Harry has to go along with returning to his 5th year at Hogwarts in Tom Riddle’s body and being sorted into Slytherin house, while Tom passes himself off as Harry Potter. There’s a mystery behind the depth of Tom’s knowledge and familiarity with Harry, as he knows more about Harry than even Voldemort should. Is it the scar horcrux? Is it Voldemort? Is it something else entirely? The inherent combativeness and magnetism between Harry and Tom keep the tension high as they push each other’s buttons and circle around each other like wolves trying to establish dominance.

Phobia by @katsitting (E, 48k, complete)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Voldemort captures Harry and brutally tortures him to the point of breaking. Why I rec it: This fic does not sugarcoat Voldemort’s capacity for cruelty and sadism in any way, and I admire the author’s commitment to depicting the most horrific of scenarios. Having read countless fics with this setup, I’ll be honest, the depiction in this fic is probably the most likely outcome of any Voldemort-captures-Harry scenario. They do not fall in love. It is not a fun time for Harry. There is gore; there is brutal prisoner torture; there is extremely extensive non-con. I found it very raw and unvarnished — not an easy read, but a very memorable and evocative one. And yet, despite the themes of darkness explored in this fic, it ends on a note of hope.

The Foul (part 1) / The Great (part 2) by @meles-merrivale (M, 24k, complete)

Setting: Time Travel Premise: If Harry gets thrown back in time a thousand years into the past, and does whatever it takes to stay alive until he can meet up with Voldemort again. Why I rec it: This is a fantastic depiction of the slow descent into madness following a disastrous time travel accident and what a thousand years of immortality does to one’s sanity. It’s also a great exploration of the time travel paradox and whether anyone has the power to change the past, or if pivotal historical events are, by their very nature, predetermined. By the time Harry encounters Voldemort again, he is a shell of the person he used to be, but gradually, he finds more of his original humanity and spark for life the more his relationship with Voldemort progresses.

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[specialagentartemis]

Black Women writing SFF

The post about Octavia Butler also made me think about the injustice we do both Butler, SFF readers, and Black women SFF writers by holding her up as the one Black Woman Writing Sci-Fi. She occupies an important place in the genre, for her creativity, the beauty and impact of her writing, and her prolific work... but she's still just one writer, and no one writer works for everybody.

So whether you liked Octavia Butler's books or didn't, here are some of the (many!!! this list is just the authors I've read and liked, or been recommended and been wanting to read) other Black women writing speculative fiction aimed at adults, who might be writing something within your interest:

N. K. Jemisin - a prolific powerhouse of modern sff. Will probably have something you'll like. Won three Hugo awards in a row for her Broken Earth trilogy. I’ve only read her book of short stories, How Long ‘Til Black Future Month? and it is absolutely story after story of bangers. Creative, chilling, beautifully written, make you think. They’re so good and I highly recommend the collection. Several of her novels have spun out of premises she first explored through these short stories, most recently “The City Born Great” giving rise to her novel The City We Became. Leans more fantasy than sci-fi, but has a lot of both, in various permutations. 

Nisi Shawl - EDIT: I have been informed that Nisi Shawl identifies as genderfluid, not as a woman. They primarily write short stories that lean literary. Their one novel that I’ve read, Everfair, is an alternate-history 19th century that asks, what if the Congo had fought off European colonization and became a free and independent African state? Told in vignettes spanning decades of political organization, political movements, war tactics, and social development, among an ensemble of local African people, Black Americans coming to the new country, white and mixed-race Brits, and Chinese immigrants who came as British laborers.

Nnedi Okorafor - American-Nigerian writer of Africanfuturism, sci-fi stories emphasizing life in present, future, and alternate-magical Africa. She has range! From Binti, a trilogy of novellas about a teenage girl in Namibia encountering aliens and balancing her newfound connection to space with expectations of her family; to Akata Witch, a middle-grade series about a Nigerian-American girl moving to Nigeria and learning to use magic powers she didn’t know she had; to Who Fears Death, a brutal depiction of magical-realism in a futuristic, post-war Sudan; to short stories like "Africanfuturism 419", about that poor Nigerian prince who’s desperately sending out those emails looking for help (but with a sci-fi twist), and "Mother of Invention" about a smart house taking care of its human and her baby… she’s done a little bit of everything, but always emphasizes the future, the science, and the magic of (usually western) Africa.

Karen Lord - an Afro-Caribbean author.  I actually didn’t particularly like the one novel by her I’ve read, The Best of All Possible Worlds, but Martha Wells did, so. Lord has more novels set in this world—a Star Trek-esque multicultural, multispecies spacefuture set on a planet that has welcomed immigrants and refugees for a long time, and become a vibrant multicultural planet. I find her stories rooted in near-future Caribbean socio-climatic concerns like "Haven" and "Cities of the Sun" and her folktale-fantasy style Redemption in Indigo more compelling.  And more short stories here.

Bethany C. Morrow - only has one novella (short novel?) for adults, Mem, but it was creative and fascinating and good and I’d be remiss not to shout it out. In an alternate-history 1920s Toronto, scientists have discovered how to extract specific memories from a person—but then those memories are embodied as physical, cloned manifestations of the person at the moment the memory was made. The main character is one such “Mem,” struggling to determine who she is if she was created from and defined by one single traumatic memory that her original-self wanted to remove. It’s mostly quiet, contemplative, and very interesting.  (Morrow has some YA novels too. I read one of them and thought it was okay.)

Rebecca Roanhorse - Afro-Indigenous, Black and "Spanish Indian" and married into Diné (Navajo). I’ve read her ongoing post-apocalyptic fantasy series starting with Trail of Lightning, and am liking it a lot; after a climate catastrophe, the spirits and magic of the Diné awakened to protect Dinetah (the Navajo Nation) from the onslaught; and now magic and monsters are part of life in this fundamentally changed world. Coyote is there and he is only sometimes helpful. She also has a more traditional second-world epic high fantasy, Black Sun, an elaborate fantasy world with quests and prophecies and seafaring adventure that draws inspiration from Indigenous cultures of the US and Mexico rather than Europe. She also has bitingly satirical and very incisive short stories like “Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience” about virtual reality and cultural tourism, and the fantasy-horror "Harvest."

Micaiah Johnson - her multiverse-hopping novel The Space Between Worlds plays with alternate universes and alternate selves in a continuously creative and interesting way! The setup doesn’t take the easy premise that one universe is our own recognizable one that opens up onto strange alternate universes—even the main character’s home universe is wildly different in speculative ways, with the MC coming from a Mad Max-esque desert community abandoned to the elements, while working for the universe-travel company within the climate-controlled walled city where the rich and well-connected live and work. Also, it’s unabashedly gay. 

And if you like audiobooks and audio fiction (I listened to The Space Between Worlds as an audiobook, it’s good), then Jordan Cobb is someone you should check out. She does sci-fi/horror/thriller audio drama. Her works include Janus Descending, a lyrical and eerie sci-fi horror about a small research expedition to a distant planet and how it went so, so wrong; and Descendants, the sequel about its aftermath. She also has Primordial Deep, about a research expedition to the deep undersea, to investigate the apparent re-emergence of a lot of extinct prehistoric sea creatures. She’s a writer/producer I like, and always follow her new releases. Her detailed prose, minimal casts  (especially in Janus Descending), good audio quality, and full-series supercuts make these welcoming to audiobook fans. 

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Nalo Hopkinson - a writer who should be considered nearly as foundational as Octavia Butler, honestly. A novelist and short story writer with a wide variety of sci-fi, dystopian futures, fairy-tale horror, gods and epics, and space Carnival, drawing heavily from her Caribbean experiences and aesthetics.

Tananarive Due - fantastical/horror. Immortals, vampires, curses, altered reality, unnerving mystery. Also has written a lot of books.

Andrea Hairston - creative and otherworldly, weird and bisexual, with mindscapes and magic and aliens. 

Helen Oyeyemi - I haven’t read her work but she comes highly recommended by a friend. A novelist and short story writer, most of her work leans fairytale fantastical-horror. What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours is a collection of short fiction and recc’ed to me as her best work. White is for Witching is a well-regarded haunted house novel. 

Ashia Monet - indie author, writer of The Black Veins, pitched as “the no-love-interest, found family adventure you’ve been searching for.” Magic road trip! Possibly YA? I’m not positive. 

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This also doesn’t include Black non-binary sff authors I’ve read and liked like An Owomoyela, C. L. Polk, and Rivers Solomon. And this is specifically about adult sff books, so I didn’t include Black women YA sff authors like Kalynn Bayron, Tomi Adeyemi, Tracy Deonn, Justina Ireland, or Alechia Dow, though they’re writing fantasy and sci-fi in the YA world too.

And a lot of short stories are out there in the online magazine world, where so many up and coming authors get their start, and established ones explore offbeat and new ideas.  Pick up an issue (or a subscription!) of FIYAH magazine for the most current Black speculative writing.

[sugarpasteltmnt]

Hi, I'm someone who's interested in making a long-fic but just been struggling to do so. Alot of it just cause I really I'm not confident in my ability to write it well or that people will read it. Even though Neon Void was your first fic (I think) you managed to not only reach so many, but tell a story so deep and personal and moving that every time I re-read a snippet I find myself wanting to read a whole chapter.....and then the entire series.

If I can be so bold to ask, how did you do it? How did you take Neon Void and make it? What kept you from giving into the voices within and without that tell you to give up? How did you make sure the story was the best it could be. If you could go back, what would you do differently? What strategies would be best for someone who also wants to do a longfic?

Sorry if it's alot.

First, thank you so so much. It makes me super happy to hear that you thought it was moving and enjoy reading it!!

and don’t be sorry!! I’m super flattered that you wanted to ask me such a cool and thought provoking question!! Gunna hide most of this answer under a read-more as I get a little autobiographical, but in short:

You must be your own biggest fan

I’ll be honest— I had NO idea so many people would read my fic. The amount of positive feedback has blown me away and I couldn’t be more thankful for how nice the TMNT fandom has been to me (and my sister!!)

And you’re right! Neon Void WAS my first fic I ever published!! But I’ve been writing every day since I was a tween. I just love to write. But even then, I was nervous to post. No one except my closest friend had EVER read my writing before. I wasn’t sure if anyone would read it, or even like it since it was kind of a wacky premise.

But also in a way, it was okay if no one else read it, because I liked it. And that’s kind of the secret sauce to it all.

I have never, ever written anything this long before. Originally, TNV was going to be like, ten chapters max. I have no idea it would evolve into a nearly 30 chapter fic. And i think there were several factors that contributed to that.

First, I was utterly and totally obsessed with my own AU. When i started daydreaming about certain scenes over and over, i knew i had to write it. Being so invested in my own story was the biggest factor in actually finishing it. Which sounds so obvious, but the thing is I have a tendency to think of new AUs constantly. (Sometimes even daily.) The fact I kept revisiting this one was a sign that if i wanted to write it, now was the time.

Second, and this is piggybacking off of that last confession of always daydreaming new AUs, i knew i was on a personal timer. If i was going to do this, I had to make sure I did it. So i gave myself a goal of trying to post on a rough schedule to keep myself accountable.

(But remember!!!! It's just fanfiction!!! you never, ever have to put that kind of expectation on yourself! You don't need a posting schedule. You don't even need to finish. I personally pushed myself so hard to see it through because for years I told myself that if i was ever going to post fanfiction, i HAD to finish. It's okay if you don't!! I would never ask a writer or an artist to slog through something that doesn't bring them joy anymore. Because at the end of the day, fanfiction is meant to be fun!!)

BUT

Here's a bit of a confession. I didn't want to give up on it because it brought me a lot of joy during a rough year. I found myself sneaking on my phone at work to write a paragraph or two whenever I had the chance. I would think about it 24/7. I was in love with the story I was making up and looking forward to writing helped get through some not so Cowabunga times. I know posting your work is super intimidating-- and you might be tempted to stop-- but remember, if it makes you happy-- even for a while-- it's worth it. TNV was making my days a bit brighter even before I started posting it.

Which leads to my next confession-- and this is probably the biggest reason I was able to actually pull it off with a posting schedule:

I had already written 50%-60% of TNV before I even posted chapter 1.

And that was on purpose for several reasons. One, I was having so much fun planning easter eggs and planning long-term foreshadowing bits. Second, it was a test to see if this AU was really rotting my brain enough that I wanted to spend a lot of time writing it. By the time I had a lot written and scenes I was super eager to get to, I knew I wanted to post it. But having a bulk of it already written was a huge reassurance in trying to maintain my posting schedule. (But again, that was just my style! You can hit the ground running if you'd like, start and then pause for a while to figure things out-- whatever works best for you!!)

But even when i was insanely obsessed with my own AU, it still took a lot of time and energy to write. There will be times you will find yourself trudging through bridging scenes to get to the scenes you actually wanna write and it's sooooooooo haaaaaaaaard. BUT!!! It's worth it!!! Getting through it and seeing how it sets up the exciting part just right is soooooooo satisfying.

As for making sure the story was the best it could be??? I'm not sure!! Because there were definitely times I went whining to my sister and best friend about certain plot points or scenes, worried it wasn't good enough. There were a LOT of times a scene or idea just didn't feel right. Heck, a lot of chapters ended up in a different order than when I originally started writing!! The lesson I learned throughout the whole thing is that the original idea doesn't have to be absolute. Sometimes rearranging the scenes is just what you need!

But when i was REALLY struggling, I'd find myself referring back to the original source. It was what inspired a fanfic after all! Sometimes taking a step back and reevaluating each character's personality helped me shape the scene into something that felt better. Other times I had to step back and remind myself about what was actually important to the story. (Example: originally, I had no idea how to get Donnie to the hidden city by himself. At first I tried to think of some lore on the mask to give Donnie a reason to go investigating Void... but it didn't feel right. The mask wasn't important. Not even Void was the most important thing to Donnie at the time. Leo was. And that helped me sort of get rid of the loosey-goosey idea of giving a complicated back story to the mask that made the story feel muddled.)

But even then, I wasn't sure if certain moves were the best they could be! I was always worried (and continue to be) that I poured too much into descriptions, or spent too much time talking about emotions with too little action. Or that I overuse phrases. But so long as each chapter made me happy, I figured readers would enjoy them too.

If I could go back and do something different... I wouldn't have goofed with Leo's kraang parasite adaptation in Mad Dog Part 2: Prom. I was trying to make his parasite enter an obvious 'stage 2 boss battle' look, but later I realized I didn't like how I described it lol.

But!!! I will confess, I'm no saint-- when i started getting lovely comments, it helped pour gas on the fire to keep going. And that's why I'm so thankful for every comment or doodle or ask sent my way. You guys are amazing and helped me get the fire under my ass to keep going, even when things were really hard.

I know it sounds so corny and like a cop-out answer, but ultimately, it's YOUR personal investment in YOUR story that is the secret sauce!!! So long as your interested in it, it won't feel so impossible to write a long fic. There will be challenges (like there is with any project) but honestly?? If you're head over heels for your own story, it will be fun and fulfilling. Even if you don't finish-- so long as it made you happy, that's what matters the most. (Again, that's so cheesy... but just like Master Leonardo tells Leo, 'cheesiness makes the best pizza pies in life'.)

Thank you again so much for this fun ask-- and I believe in you! You've got this. Have fun, enjoy writing, and have confidence in your work, because it makes YOU happy, and that's the greatest thing a story could be.

[calaisreno]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @7-percent, @totallysilvergirl and @gaylilsherlock. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

147. I’ve been here nearly 6 years, some years more prolific than others. 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

Right now, just shy of 2M: 1,937,496, to be exact

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Sherlock and ACD Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Synchronicity Date Night A Chronic Condition The Wedding Gift Blank Slate Wooing Sherlock Holmes has recently moved up and is close enough to nudge its way to number 5.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, even if it’s just to say thank you. I appreciate comments, often feel humbled by the compliments people give. It just feels right to respond. (Maybe if I were getting hundreds of comments a day, I would have to rethink that.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either Below Zero or The New Gardener. Both have MCD, but sort of a soft landing. Also Learning the Heart and The Real You, but those also have endings that mitigate the angst, a bit.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of happy endings; it’s my preferred resolution.  My choice: The Short Tragic Death of John Watson. John does NOT die, but there’s a very cheesy happy ending that made many readers scream.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. A couple rude comments, but no intentional hatred.

9. Do you write smut?

Not much. I don’t write PWP, but include a sex scene where the plot seems to need it. I'm not opposed; it's just not my usual.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve written two GO/Sherlock stories: Limbo and Hell and Back. I’ve written stories that borrow from other fandoms, but are not exactly crossovers. The closest to a crossover would be Serendipity, which borrows plot from the movie. I’ve borrowed from movie and book universes to make an original story (Eye of the Storm, A Chamber to be Haunted, Do No Harm), and I’ve borrowed premises (The Real You)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

About 60 of my fics have been translated, most of them into Russian, a couple into Chinese, on into Spanish. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. 

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Secret of Agra: a post-Reichenbach fic that I started in 2020. It has been through several transformations. I rarely give up permanently on a story, though. A few have grown into something new that I ended up posting. I expect I'll finish this when inspiration strikes me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The things readers most often compliment me on: 

Character voice and emotions.  

World building. 

Versatility: historical fiction, case fics, science fiction, fantasy, rom-coms, etc.

Making readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. In Greek tragedy you simply have a character enter and describe the murder that’s just occurred offstage. In fanfiction, that’s a nope. And you have to think out every move, make the scene visual. I admire writers who make this seem effortless. (That's you, @discordantwords !!!) Description: finding non-cliche ways to describe things/people without making it weird and overly fussy.  Being too minimal: I am not a wordy writer; minimalism was how I was taught, but sometimes I need to be wordier.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of this, but only in languages I’ve studied. I have a degree in Latin, and have used that in couple stories: A Demon's Tale, Accidental Magic. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first and only fandom I’ve posted in is Sherlock Holmes (ACD and BBC). I don’t have any plans to move. I used to write original fiction, but have found fanfiction so much more rewarding.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is hard to answer. Last Envoy is the story I’m most proud of.  I write the stories I want to read, and I do re-read a number of them, some more than others. My favorite fic written in 2023 is The Traveller.

Has everybody been tagged? How about @mydogwatson @lisbeth-kk @discordantwords @copperplatebeech @keirgreeneyes @meetinginsamarra @bertytravelsfar @jrow @thegildedbee @helloliriels @gregorovitchworld ???

[episodicnostalgia]

Comic Book Break: The Venom Symbiote

Featured art by Ron Lim: Covers for Marvel Tales #266-268 Mark Bagley: Carnage/Spidey/Venom Poster Ron Frenz: Cover for Amazing Spider-Man #252

I grew up as a Spider-man fan in the 90’s, which means I (predictably) thought Venom was the coolest villain of all time.  My Dad introduced me to Spidey’s ‘modern era’ shortly after Carnage first hit the scene, which means the Symbiote villains were a hot topic.  As such, my first introduction to both Venom and Carnage would be in the pages of ‘The Amazing Spider-man’ #365, and boy did that issue leave an impression. 

You see up to that point my fascination with the web head was moderately new, and I remained largely ignorant to the finer points of his lore.  My Dad had just begun to re-discover comic books for the first time since his childhood, and this particular issue was a extra sized anniversary edition, replete with a holographic cover, character histories, and even a handful of bonus stories that were framed around various side characters who could reminisce about Spider-man’s classic tales.  It was a handy way to bring new readers up to speed, and it worked well enough on my Dad (much to my approval) for him to continue collecting until the Clone Saga ruined everything.  ASM #365 also featured this absolute BANGER of a poster by Mark Bagley.  Check it out!

That image was seared into my brain, and two things became abundantly clear to me 1) Those villains were unequivocally, the greatest characters in modern literature, and 2) I needed to know why. Obviously I asked my Dad who those guys were, and he proceeded to explain the basic premise of the Symbiote suit and it’s history with Spider-man.  Needless to say, I became obsessed with finding an issue, ANY ISSUE, that featured Venom and/or Carnage; I wanted to know everything about these guys.  The only obstacle that stood between me and my goal was my age, as I was still quite young, and I think my folks were just the tiniest bit leery of exposing me to a characters who looked and behaved like, if we’re being honest, bloodthirsty hell demons (or brain thirsty, as the case may be).

As luck would have it, my dad found a pretty fair compromise in the pages of ‘Marvel Tales’.  MT was a series that featured reprints of classic-or-topical spider-man comics from days of yore, often with new cover art by a current artist.  Since the introduction of Carnage was turning heads towards the Spider-man books (also around the same time the comic book speculators boom was taking off)  it was a prime opportunity for Marvel to reprint the issues of ASM that introduced the original symbiote creature (written by Roger Stern).  So, my dad bought me several issues (pictured up top, and immediately below) to satiate my curiosity for another year before I finally got finally see Venom himself, and in the mean time I was simply delighted to be reading the origin story as I went.

Since those days, my interest in Venom has wavered dramatically depending on the project/medium/who’s writing him, and I’ve found much of what’s been produced fairly underwhelming; but my admiration of the design for Spider-man’s black costume has remained steadfast.  If I’m being (perhaps heretically) honest, I almost prefer the black costume to the original.  Something about it just feels so correct for the character, and clearly I’m not the only person who felt as much.  Despite some initial push-back,  the black costume had garnered enough support by the end of the 8-issue symbiote saga, for it to be brought back as just a ‘regular costume, but with the symbiote aesthetic.’ From that point on, it would feature regularly for several years before Venom officially inherited the look.

And just to be clear, no I wouldn’t ever truly want to replace Spider-man’s classic look, but you gotta admit, the black suit looks mighty slick.

[freya-captain]

This is also another old one I’ve sent to someone else before and sorry but I would love to hear your take on this kinda if premise haha

Ok plz hear me out…everything in hotd is the same except omega aegon was disqualified to be king because of his omega status so was sent off to the north to be married and mated to alpha Cregan stark as soon as he was of age they now have several children….maybe viserys and Ali be two ages him far away from flea bottom and the drama or something idk so now aemond is the alpha son next In like and who has equal claim to the throne now and has usurped the throne from rhaenrya…rhaenrya is hesitant about what to do with her options thanks to daemon ..then alpha jace suggest she sends her sons with the dragons broker peace and alliances during their impending war…rhaenrya is wondering if they should skip stark cause he is married to aegon and this may cause conflict but Jace says to send him anyway and says he may had some pull….when pushed on what this is he hesitantly admits that aegons first born son is actually his lol his mother is not impressed by this new info haha

hahaha I’m glad to read this! I couldn't help but picture that Aegon sat by the window of Winterfall watching the snow silently falling (like forgiveness from the sky) and holding his baby, which was the only gift that Jace gave him he got to keep, the only thing left that belonged to him in this foreign, cold land.

I was starting to write this clip when I thought what if let AI give it a go, so that's what ChatGPT gave us and I only did a slight changes. I felt craaaazy.

Jace/Aegon, Cregan/Aegon; Omegaverse

originally written by AI

Winterfell was a cold and snowy place, with the castle surrounded by snowdrifts that seemed to grow taller every day. The great stone walls of the castle were covered in a layer of frost, and icicles hung from the eaves of the roof. Inside, the castle was warm and inviting, with roaring fireplaces in every room that filled the air with the comforting scent of burning wood.

Aegon often found himself sitting in front of the fireplace in his chambers, staring into the flames and thinking about Jacaerys. He would imagine what it would be like to still be with him, to hold him in his arms and to feel his warm breath against his skin like he did in the past. But then he would remember Cregan, his alpha and husband, and he would feel guilty for even thinking about another man.

Since presented as an Omega, Aegon Targaryen II knew he would be arranged to marry some noble lord instead of inheriting lands and titles like his Alpha brother Aemond would. He had never dared to hope that the Alpha would be his Jace, but neither did he anticipate Alicent's decision was to send him north off to the savages. She clearly hoped the marriage could strengthen the alliance between the Iron Throne and the North. The wedding ceremony was grand enough only this was the last time Aegon saw his hometown, no trace of Jacaerys.

Aegon and Jacaerys were closest friends when they were young boys. Over time, their friendship had developed into something more, and Aegon found himself falling in love with Jacaerys. He tried to bury his feelings, to focus on his duty as a husband and as a member of House Targaryen. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget about Jacaerys. Not after he gave birth to their child, a brown-haired girl named Stark, who had no blood of direwolf within her but every feature of his young lover.

Sometimes, Aegon would take long walks through the snow-covered grounds of Winterfell, trying to clear his mind. He would breathe in the cold, crisp air and feel the snow crunching under his boots. But even in the peace and quiet of the winter landscape, he couldn't escape his feelings. That's when he started to write letters to Jace.

He never did well with words and spelling, but he wrote and wrote, all in High Valyrian. Not that he worried Cregan may find out about them, nothing in the letter he couldn't show to the public. It's just sweet for him to share a language that he could't speak with anyone else.

Jacaerys wrote back. At first, the letters were filled with stories of what was happening on Dragonstone and news of the realm. But over time, the letters became more personal. They would write to each other almost every day, and the letters became a lifeline for both of them.

As the years passed, Aegon's love for Jacaerys only grew stronger. He found himself looking forward to Jacaerys' letters more and more, eagerly devouring every word as if they were the only thing that kept him going.

But Aegon also felt guilty for his feelings. He knew that Cregan deserved a husband who loved him as much as he loved Jace, and he felt like he was failing Cregan as a husband. He tried to be kind to him, to show that he appreciated him, but he knew that it wasn't enough.

When Cregan Stark discovered their affairs when Jacaery visited the North, he was both furious and disappointed. He felt betrayed and hurt that Aegon had been unfaithful to him. Especially he and Jacaerys already became good friends and trustable allies. He couldn't understand why he would risk everything for someone else.

But despite his anger, Cregan still loved Aegon deeply after their years spent together. He knew that Aegon was struggling with his feelings for Jacaerys, and he understood that it wasn't easy for him to keep those feelings hidden. So instead of lashing out in anger, he tried to find a way to make things work.

When Aegon finally confessed the truth to him, that their first daughter's real father was Jace, Cregan was silent for a long moment, staring at him with a mixture of sadness and anger. But then he took a deep breath and spoke.

"What can I say?" he said, his voice quiet but firm. "I married no ordinary one. I married a dragon. I knew what I was getting into when I chose you, Aegon. I knew that there would be challenges and struggles, but I also knew that I loved you enough to face them. And I still do."

Aegon was surprised by Cregan's reaction, expecting him to be furious and unforgiving. But instead, he saw a deep love and acceptance in Cregan's eyes. They talked for hours, working through their feelings and trying to find a way to move forward.

In the end, they came to a compromise. Aegon would continue to be a devoted husband to Cregan and a loving father to their children, but he would also keep in touch with Jacaerys through letters. It wasn't the perfect solution, but it was enough for them to find some peace and happiness in their lives.

Years went by, and Aegon and Cregan had more children, all of whom were loved and cherished by both of their fathers. They created a life together, one that was built on love, trust, and compromise. And though there were still struggles and challenges, they faced them together, knowing that their love was strong enough to withstand anything.

Until the war broke and dragons danced.

[joannanora]

First review I’ve seen in Norwegian so I copied the text in Google translate 😄

You really have to love Céline Dion to put up with this trash.

IN THEATER MAY 12, 2023: I have absolutely nothing against romantic comedies, as long as they are genuinely fresh, sweet and funny.

"Love Again" is neither, but leans on tired clichés, chemistry-less leads and a silly story that will cause frequent rolling of the eyes.

In addition, it cultivates Céline Dion, the Canadian superstar who both plays herself and is one of the film's producers. If you are one of Dion's followers, and are deeply moved by her songs and lyrics, it can be thought that "Love Again" has its mission, because it is shaped by the same reading.

If, on the other hand, you find her music intolerable, this will feel like torture, because the film is like a Greatest Hits cavalcade of it. She even mentions the Eurovision Song Contest, which she won for Switzerland in 1988, which perhaps explains the film's strategic release date the day before this year's final?

"Love Again" has no ironic distance from either the genre or the music, and maintains such a low quality that it is difficult to see what this has to do with cinema. You really have to love Céline Dion to put up with this moth.

Sending text messages to deceased boyfriend

The premise of the story could have been used for something halfway interesting. The children's book author Mira (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) witnesses the death of her boyfriend John on the streets of New York - in a scene with a comically bad presentation of the shock.

Two years later, she starts texting him in an attempt to process her grief and loss. Little does she know that everything is being read by music journalist Rob (Sam Heughan), who has unknowingly taken over John's old number on his new work phone at The New York Chronicle newspaper.

He does not respond to these messages, but becomes obsessed with finding out who the mysterious sender really is. But he doesn't think to look up the number or call it from another phone. Not much for a journalist, that is.

That their paths nevertheless cross is hardly a revelation, but he remains silent about having received and read the messages, which according to the recipe creates the conditions for a small twist in the thread.

At the same time, he has been tasked with writing a large article about Céline Dion, who will embark on her first US tour in 10 years. And then, incredibly, it will turn out that she would much rather help the journalist with his private love life than promote herself, which seriously lowers the film's credibility into the deepest abyss.

Stiff-legged romance and predictable complications

The best thing I can say about "Love Again" is that it is filmed with beautiful people in an urban setting.

Indian Priyanka Chopra Jonas ("Quantico", "Baywatch", "Citadel") and Scottish Sam Heughan ("Outlander", "The Spy Who Dumped Me", "Bloodshot") seem like sympathetic actors.

Unfortunately, they have little chemistry and are unable to play their way out of the script's horribly stiff romance, which is as unconvincing as the thinnest and assembly line-produced weekly short story.

Director Jim Strouse ("The Incredible Jessica James") is also behind the script, or was it written by ChatGPT? It has so many generic "qualities" that one can be fooled.

He throws his characters into several predictable entanglements that could have been playfully prevented, so that the artificial moments of tension maintain a very low temperature.

The scene that gets the most chuckles (which means "a little") is a Tinder date where Priyanka Chopra Jonas as Mira meets the sleazy hottie Joel, because he is played by her real-life husband Nick Jonas.

Smeared with sugar and syrup

And then there's Céline Dion, then. You have to respect what she has achieved in her genre, but she is definitely not a good actress.

Even when she speaks seemingly candidly about missing her great love, the manager René Angélil, who died in 2016, it seems as flat and fake as her unnatural interest in the music journalist's private life.

At one point, she also gives Mira, who is a writer and illustrator of cute children's books, the task of designing her new tour posters. Hello? In what world would we have believed this? We never get to see the result, but are left with the impression that the film's raison d'etre is to promote Dion's generosity and warmth of heart.

Sure, I know this is supposed to be a romantic fantasy, which doesn't necessarily have to follow normal standards of quality, but gods know why Dion thought this would be career-boosting.

Devoted fans, excuse me, but "Love Again" is like the most excruciating, sugar and syrup-smeared 1980s power ballad imaginable, only it lasts 1 hour and 44 minutes.

One star might seem a bit harsh, but if the entire grading scale is ever to be used, it must be for films like this.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Loudest Pundits Don't Talk to Voters. I do...

Jess Piper

Jul 6

Tysons, Virginia.

I was invited to speak at a summit just outside of DC, and just got back a week ago. The Women’s Summit is a large annual conference hosted in part by Network Nova. I have to tell you something: the message from rural America never fails to captivate an audience. Especially an audience filled with activists in a solidly Democratic city and region.

But I am not writing to tell you what I spoke about. I am writing to tell you what I heard when I listened to the voters and activists in the room.

What you’ll hear me say is not at all what the pundits are saying about Biden after the disastrous debate. It is the opposite of the narrative being furiously flung at us each day by everyone from MSNBC to CNN to the New York Times to the nightly news to opinion pieces across the country.

I speak to actual people…the pundits feed off each other. I work with grassroots organizers to spread Democratic messaging…the pundits write clickbait headlines and stoke fear.

The debate.

First of all, I did not watch but a few minutes of the debate live. I chose to watch it in clips and videos afterward. I was horrified. I felt like I was watching a trainwreck in slow motion. Biden performed terribly and Trump lied continuously.

Honestly, I wish Biden had never accepted the debate premise because it’s pointless to debate a liar. It just gives Trump the runway to lie even more, and without pushback from the moderators, the debate went nowhere.

The voters and activists I listened to in Virginia weren’t wondering if Biden should step aside and none of them were kidding themselves about what they witnessed during the debate. They are solidly behind the Biden administration. Solidly.

The summit in Virginia was diverse. Hundreds of women gathered and many were Black women. I like to hear the viewpoints of folks who are neither rural nor white — I am not in enough diverse rooms. I get a different POV and that’s important. What I heard was real and heartfelt. They are behind Biden.

I listened as several Black women spoke about their admiration for Gavin Newsom and Gretchen Whitmer, but how pundits holding them up as replacements for Joe Biden is condescending and irritating. Joe Biden has a Vice President. A Black woman — Kamala Harris. The women wondered aloud if there would be such a push to replace Biden on the ballot if his VP were not Black.

Same.

They wondered why journalists and politicos demand that Biden step down, but not Trump. They wondered why so many articles are being written about Biden’s age and fitness, but not the same about Trump. They wondered why Democratic strategists are making voters fearful instead of leading with a steady hand. They wondered why Biden is taking all the hits while a felon with a rape conviction, his opponent, is not even addressed.

Same.

The biggest takeaway from the folks outside DC is they are angry that the “same shit” that happened in 2016 is rearing its head again. Several stated they are tired of the line “The DNC chose Biden.” They reminded me that primary voters picked him…Black voters picked him. They are sick of repeating it.

These voters and activists did not waver when they repeated over and over again that they have no hesitation in voting for Biden in November.

From that group of over 600 suburban folks to a group of about 20 rural Dems…

You know I am rural and I often speak in rural spaces. Most of these spaces are older and White. When I listen to voters in these spaces, they have zero doubt about who their candidate is…even after the debate. Do they doubt that it was an awful showing? They do not. They watched it with their own eyes. Do they wish Biden performed better? Seemed younger? Spoke more clearly and concisely? Yes. Will they still vote for him? Also yes.

Not one rural person I’ve spoken with wants to remove Biden from the ballot in favor of another candidate. They believe in the administration and they are fearful of another Trump presidency. They think Biden can beat Trump.

This is what rural voters have told me: Biden has been good for ordinary people. He’s worked for public schools and the LGBTQ community and student loan forgiveness and infrastructure and rural broadband. They’ve seen highway projects funded. They remember that Biden curbed COVID deaths and consistently pushes for union jobs. They know he will not sign away reproductive rights.

Listen, I am not paid by the DNC and I don’t earn a dime from my state party. I am a Democrat because the party aligns with most of my views, but I am not a party first person…I am a country first person. I can see with my own eyes what the Republicans are about and I already know what a Trump presidency will bring. We all know what it will mean.

I will never forget the maxim: Democrats fall in love. Republicans fall in line. I know many of us are not in love, but can we come together to beat a certain autocrat? To overcome the fascism and Christian nationalism creeping in?

I was as scared as any of us after the debate. I had a feeling of doom bearing down on me. After talking to so many voters since, even after reading so many terribly divisive pieces, I feel more calm. The voters I’ve listened to are not doing what the pundits claim they are doing. They have said that replacing Biden on the ticket will almost certainly divide the party. They have faith in the Biden administration. They have faith in his VP.

I am tired of pundits creating a narrative that I don’t see in real life. I don’t know why they do it? For clout? For clicks?

I hate that each of us is exposed to the fear every single day. I hate that many in the media are driving a wedge between Democrats with this incessant message of doom and gloom and the need for a new nominee.

I have no crystal ball, but I do have neighbors and friends and I know organizers across the country. I hope we can make it through this with a nominee intact and a win in November. I hope we can listen to our neighbors and mute the pundit-class.

Our country can’t manage another Trump presidency.

~Jess

[art-of-manliness]

5 Lessons From the Iron

Back in 2015, I started weightlifting seriously.  Over eight years of training, I was able to get strong. But more importantly, I discovered a hobby that brought me immense satisfaction.  While I don’t barbell train like I used to, I still religiously lift weights.  During my eight years of serious training, I’ve learned some important life lessons from the iron.  Below, I share five of them. 1. Success Comes From a Long Obedience in the Same Direction When people decide to get serious with exercise, they tend to focus on the minutiae of their new regimen. People spend a lot of time looking for the right program and the right equipment. They think they’ll see incredible gains if they find the optimal set and rep range.  But there’s something just as, if not more important, than the training program you choose: Being consistent with it for months and even years.  How did I deadlift 600 pounds? I trained consistently for six years. Sure, my programming changed during that time, but the thing that didn’t change was me going down to my garage four times a week to train.  The necessity of consistency applies to every other endeavor in life.  I’ve used the consistency principle to lose 30 pounds this year. I didn’t do any crash dieting. I just gradually reduced my calories and stuck to my macro target almost every day for eight months. That’s it.  When people ask me for advice about their online business, they often ask me about the tools and tricks Kate and I use that helped us get AoM to where it is today.  Keeping up with the latest trends in technology, marketing, and social media hasn’t been nearly as important as simply sticking to our publishing schedule; for coming up on sixteen years now, we’ve published several pieces of content nearly every single week. AoM isn’t slick, flashy, or even particularly cool, but it is consistent.  As Nietzsche put it, “everything of the nature of freedom, elegance, boldness . . . and masterly certainty”; everything to do with “virtue, art, music, dancing, reason, spirituality”; everything “that is transfiguring,” that makes “life worth living,” is premised on one thing: A “long obedience in the same direction.” The trick is figuring out ways to stay consistent over the long haul.  When it comes to exercising, we’ve written about how to work out while you’re on vacation, sick, or simply don’t feel like it. There’s plenty of good advice there, and I think it carries over to other parts of life, too.  But the real secret for staying consistent over the long haul is that . . . 2. You Got to Have Ganas Ganas is Spanish for desire.  I’ve written about the centrality of ganas in finding success in whatever you do. Most of the things I’ve achieved in life were because I really wanted to accomplish those things. I had ganas for those goals. A big reason I was able to deadlift 600 pounds is that I really, really wanted to deadlift 600 lbs. That strong desire was what compelled me to rarely miss a workout for four years. My coach could give me programming and offer corrections on technique, but he couldn’t make me want to go after a 600-lb deadlift. I had to have the desire myself. Discipline is really harped on these days as the key to success.  Discipline is one way to achieve the consistency that’s essential to reaching your goals.  But constantly exercising self-control is exhausting.  A better way to stay consistent is to operate with inherent motivation — to enjoy the thing you’re doing so that you want to do the thing that will lead to success.  What William George Jordan said about duty applies to discipline as well: Duty is a hard, mechanical process for making men do things that love would make easy. It is a poor understudy to love. It is not a high enough motive with which to inspire humanity. Duty is the body to which love is the soul. Love, in the divine alchemy of life, transmutes all duties into privileges, all responsibilities into joys. I loved going for big PRs, which is why I could be… http://dlvr.it/T0301h

[changterhune]

ATTACK OF THE NEW NOVEL!!!

I started a new novel about a week ago and no one is more surprised than I. 

For starters I’ve not been focused on writing of late. Most of my free time has been devoted to art or music. Some writing but only on existing stuff like the mythical 4th issue of Bunnyhead, a horror novel and writing for Igloo Magazine.

The main reason though has been due to my chronic clinical depression. Yes, I’m an artist suffering from depression. Ain’t that a surprise? But seriously I have it and it’s been better and worse depending on the time of day you ask. Heh. But it’s real and for whatever reason I’ve not been too interested  in it frankly. 

The pandemic was what kicked off my dry spell. My father’s death in late 2021 flattened me and I’ve spent the better part of the last two years grieving and recovering. Writing seemed to be the hardest thing to do in that period. Story ideas came and went but few made me feel like they needed to be written down. It was low on the list of priorities. I’ve been more focused on music of late so writing wasn’t where the muse went to either gift me or shit on me depending on how you look at it. 

About two weeks ago though a funny thing happened. I’d been thinking about a character in the horror novel I’m working on (sporadically I admit). And I had a revelation about them after wondering about that age old question one ponders when they write fiction: what makes this guy tick. 

Then all of a sudden it clicked, this thing that I’d been wrestling with suddenly came together. I wrote several thousand words of diary entries for them and they held up under the fierce scrutiny of the morning after. I edited, wrote more, edited again and wrote more. It was a good work and I looked forward to more.

A couple nights later I was watching tv with my wife and out of nowhere this idea hit me. I was surprised because it was later in the night and I was thinking more about sleep than anything else. But the idea stuck in my head. I tossed it over a bit as one does when this happens, wondering if it had legs or not. So I did what I often do and wrote some notes, basic premise and rough outline.

I did go to bed kind of excited because it had been so long since a story. The next morning it seemed good enough to write so I sat down and started typing. First chapter emerged pretty easily considering the writing muscles in the brain hadn’t worked in a while so there was some awakening of those. But the words came and after a bit I’d enough to write out a rough general outline of beginning middle and end then some more for a possible second book. 

Well then…

As I said no one is more surprised than I. The detail will remain with me for a while until it’s time. But writing’s continued apace and will until it’s either done or I’m sick of it. 

Next I’ll say about it you’ll either hear I’ve got a book deal or I’m self-publishing it. 

Until then stay away from the demons unless they’ve got pizza.

[redheadgleek]

Quarter reads 2023

At the beginning of the year, I posted on facebook for book recommendations to read over the new year and had multiple friends comment with recommendations. So I’m reading books this year that I might not have otherwise.

January – The Beggar King and the Secret of Happiness by Joel Ben Izzy. FB recommendation. I was really hesitant to read this book, as it sounded very much like “all things happen for a reason” and “God has a purpose for all suffering” which is one of the things that I left behind even before leaving my religion. I’m glad I read it, as it’s been one of my favorites of the year. Beautiful interweaving of story-telling and grief. – The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson. Friend recommendation. A story of a time in history that I knew little of (the last sultan in the Iberian peninsula). It started out so good – the first 3rd was fantastic, the second 3rd was mediocre, and the last 3rd painful. So disappointing. – The White Allies Handbook: 4 Weeks to Join the Racial Justice Fight for Black Women by Lecia Michelle. A finish up from last year. I was really hoping for an anti-racism 201 type book and this was not it. Still some good points. – Flying Solo by Linda Holmes. I saw this on a friend’s end of year list and thought it sounded good (plus I really love Linda Holmes’s writing for NPR). For being written by a happily single woman, there was a lot of emphasis placed on dating relationships. – Vita Nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko. Friend recommendation. I have never read a book like this. Creepy and mind blowing in a philosophical way. It’s so very Russian (or rather Ukranian) and the whole thing felt foreign. I’m on the waiting list for the sequel. – Scales and Sensibility by Stephanie Burgis. Jane Austen meets pet dragons. Recommended in one of my fantasy groups as cozy fantasy. – A Charmed Christmas by Alison Cochrun. A short-story epilogue to The Charmed Offensive. I could have done without it. – Woman on Fire by Lisa Barr. Started reading this in November of 2022 for a book club that I couldn’t attend, so it kept getting bumped. It was a good thriller, but I didn’t buy the antagonist’s motivations. – Twitter Crush: A Gen-X Medical Romance by Em S A’Cor. I got this as an ARC from a physician writing group I’m part of. The writing was fine. There were several subplots that I had issues with, including the guy getting black out drunk on their first date, a “shrill” ex-wife, and a “romance” between the vixen chief fellow and the chair department, which was gross and lecherous and blamed entirely on the fellow. And while I really do appreciate writing from one’s own experiences, descriptions of vaginal dryness from menopause and impotence from antidepressants do not fit well with a romance novel. – I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston. Much better than One Last Stop. – The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien, read by Andy Serkis. I’ve read the LOTR trilogy countless times – but I will admit to being guilty to skimming over Books 3 and 5 and getting to Sam and Frodo climb to Mount Doom. So there was a part in the beginning of Book 5 that I had to listen to twice because I’m pretty sure I’ve never registered it before. Anyway, Andy’s voice was amazing as always and I almost want to listen to the whole thing again. (He’s recording the Silmarillion right now, so maybe I’ll be finally about to get through that book). – And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. My first Christie. It was a good murder mystery and I hadn’t quite figured it out by the end. – All Systems Red by Martha Wells. An enjoyable read, although I think I need to read the rest of the series in order to properly judge it. – They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera. Pretty much as it advertises on the tin. The premise gave me anxiety.

February – Moloka’i by Alan Brennert. Friend recommendation. Read this on my way back from a vacation in Hawai’i. Lovely story of perseverance and a good picture into old Hawaiian culture and the perfect cap to a wonderful vacation. – Healer and Witch by Nancy Werlin. A young healer tries to find a teach while navigating investigations by the Inquisition. Reminded me of T Kingfisher’s A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking. Not fond of romances between 15 and 24 year olds though. -* Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett. Loved this one. Emily’s a professor in the study of fairies exploring a small village trying to figure out their secrets and she can’t get along with the villagers and her too charming colleague sweeps in. I can’t wait for the sequel. – I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. Audiobook. Friend recommendation. This one has been circulating my social groups because she was raised Mormon. That ended up making up very little of her memoir, rather it was more focused on her eating disorder and her relationship with her mom. It was an abrupt ending though and felt incomplete. An easy listen – each chapter was ~ 2-5 minutes. – Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion by Gabrielle Stanley Blair. Like everyone else, I was completely taken by her viral twitter thread about how men bear all of the responsibility of unwanted pregnancies. This was a meatier exploration and well worth the read.

March -* Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Book club read. A beautiful book exploring mother-daughter relationships, grief, and culture. One of my favorites that I’ve read so far this year. – Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent by Katharine Angel. Book club read. It’s been a while since I read a book where “feminism” was flung around like a dirty word (and yet, I think if you asked the author, she would tell you that she’s a feminist). The last part, exploring vulnerability, was great, but there was absolutely no discussion about how it was as unrealistic in sex as consent culture, which she chided for pages. – Autoboyography by Christina Lauren. Friend recommendation. Two boys fall in love in a high school in Provo, UT – the setting was so perfectly Provo that I was transported back there, but there were inconsistencies in the depiction of Mormonism that I’m pretty sure other fans wouldn’t have picked up on. – Fairy Tale by Stephen King. Friend recommendation. Also my first King book read. There was so much that I loved about it – the world setting was fantastic. It started to drag and become formulaic towards the middle end. I did nearly throw the book in disgust at the ending, because we couldn’t possibly have a 17 year old boy go back to the Real World without losing his virginity to a random character he never interacted with, right? Bah. – This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us by Cole Arthur Riley. Friend recommendation. I’m not sure that I am the right audience for this book as I no longer see myself as Christian or really believe in God or Christ at all anything, but, the storytelling was gorgeous and poetic, and some parts resonated deeply. It certainly is a brand of Christianity that I wish more would get behind. – The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna. Very much enjoyed this story. Had a lot of the same charm as The House in the Cerulean Sea. – The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper. I was expecting a weightier book, something like The Darkness Outside Us. It was okay for what it was. – The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian. I walked into the book thinking it was a sapphic romance – nope! A fun little gay highwayman romantic romp, but was left a little unfinished. – The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian. The sequel to above. The questions were mostly answered here and it was a good conclusion to the series. – The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older. A friend and I tried out the “Buddy Read” function on StoryGraph for this and it was like a virtual book club where we could make comment and respond to each other. The mystery sort of fell apart for me, but it was an enjoyable novella.

Currently reading: – The Ten Thousand Doors of January. Picked this one up in January and just haven’t gotten into it. – Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde. I’ve realized that I’ve read very little in terms of classic feminist works. It’s just a slog for me to get through nonfiction works. – Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark (audiobook). I started to read JS shortly after it was published but I didn’t get more than half way through before it was due back to the library. It’s a slooooooow going book. Over 32 hours. It’ll be my commute book for the next 2 months at least. – A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki. Book club read

Other friend recommendations for the year: The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan What My Bones Knew: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo Frogs in A Pot by K.D. Kinz (written by a nurse I used to work with.) Scythe by Neal Shusterman Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zavin Anxious People by Fredrik Backman The Emperor’s Soul by Brandon Sanderson Sweet Like Jasmine by Bonnie Gray Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelk (What would you all recommend? I’d like to round it out to 24 books).

Books picked up from the library: Glitterland by Alexis Hall, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green, The Rose That Grew From Concrete: a collection of poetry by Tupac Shakur.

[tdcloud]

T.D. Cloud's October Novella Event: A Guide (blog#16)

Happy April, everyone! It’s finally starting to warm up here in Indiana, and I can’t say I miss the subzero temperatures, even if I do hate the rain more than the snow. There’s just something so soporific when it rains. It kills my motivation to do much of anything, and when you’re operating on as many deadlines as I am, that’s just not a good time. But! Onwards we move, and onto the next author blog.

Firstly, I want to give some updates—I’m freshly back from Evillecon in Evansville, IN, and WOW! It’s been several years since I last tabled at this convention and I am so stunned by how much it’s changed. The venue aside, the convention just seems to grow bigger and bigger every time I make the long trek down south to attend. Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by and picked up a book, and thank you to the repeat customers who remembered me from 2018! Evillecon was the first convention I tabled at properly—before that, all I’d ever done was sell ten or so books at Colossalcon’s Thursday Craft Fair—so anyone who took a chance on me back then and who were excited to see me again… That just means so much to me. Please enjoy your new books, charms, and other associated merch, and keep an eye out for what’s still to come!

My next scheduled convention will likely be Colossalcon in Sandusky, Ohio. Like always, I’ll be situated in the Thursday Craft Fair with my stock for a one day sale. Given I now have ten books and only half a table, I will likely only be bringing very limited stock of my older works and will begin prioritizing table space and numbers for my newer releases—which means the Tempest Series will soon likely fall out of rotation on my table. If you still have a few books missing in your Tempest collection, this may be a good time to pick up a signed copy while I still have them on tap! Please stop by and grab a book or two, and feel free to bring your previously purchased books if they’re lacking a signature! I am always happy to meet up with someone to sign their books—just shoot me an @ on twitter or Instagram and I’ll make it happen!

I’d also like to announce here that I’ve gotten into JAFAX in Grand Rapids, Michigan. This convention takes place the weekend after Colossalcon and will most likely be the convention where you can expect to see updated manjuu. I’ll be selling some Ossuary merch here that will later be made available on my ko-fi store. Keep an eye out on my Twitter and Instagram for pictures as they come in if that sounds like something you want to own for yourself!

That’s enough updates for now—what are we discussing this month? Given it’s April, there are a lot of updates happening on my Patreon right now. I figured we’d take a break from discussing DVerse clans to instead switch gears to one of my most popular and anticipated events of the year—the October Novella Event held on my Patreon!

First things first: are you pledged to my Patreon? If not, you should be! I do a lot of fun stuff there and every single novella as well as quite a few full-length novels are posted there as they’re written. I know I’ve spoken ad nauseam about my October Novella event here before, but for the few of you unfamiliar with it, I’ll give you the sparknotes: every October I post a full novella written to celebrate my birth month. My patrons vote in Spring to decide what I’m going to write, and then I write it, essentially giving them instant access in October to a weekly updating story that concludes on or around Halloween. It’s a really fun event that tests my ability to bring to life a fully realized story on a much shorter time schedule than I typically work with these days, and it’s more or less my version of NaNoWriMo, but for my patrons’ personal enjoyment.

Interested? God, I hope so.

With today being April 1st, I’ve gone ahead and posted this year’s novella premise options to begin the process of deciding what I’ll be writing for October. If you aren’t pledged to my Patreon, this is still something you can get in on! I’ve begun opening this poll to the public as well as patrons just to generate more interest in the event. To make this blog post a larger part of that, I figured we’d spend this month going over this year’s options in depth to showcase just what all is on the docket and maybe, just maybe, convince a few of you to join us in October for the big reveal.

To start in on this, let me give you the rules of the event itself. Every poll holds four options, and every year we have two new premises and two old premises to vote on. Each premise stays on the poll for two years unless it wins—after it’s been on the poll for two years, it’s cycled into my monthly short story poll and updated monthly when it wins that poll. It keeps things fresh, gives close runner’s up another shot at winning in the event, and allows me extra time to revise and sharpen previous premises if I can tell they need some additional planning before they’re ready to be written fully.

So far, Ossuary and Convergence have emerged as winners from this poll and reached fully published realization. I’ve got a plethora of other novellas that have either come off the monthly rotation poll or this novella event that are sitting on the edit block just waiting for their turn to come. If you liked either of those novellas, that’s the sort of thing you can expect to come from all of this!

All stories here run between 5-6 chapters and have varying smut/warning levels. I usually include that on the poll itself, so after you’re done reading this, check out the poll and get to voting on whatever sounds the most interesting to you.

So, onto the premises themselves.

It should come as no surprise that if Ossuary reached completion through this event that it stands to reason I’d give its sequel, Reliquary, a shot on the poll, too. Reliquary is one of our two repeat options and will be cycled into the monthly rotation if it fails to win again this year. It is, as I describe it, the sequel that no one asked for and that doesn’t need to exist but will solely because I want to write Thierry getting horror-fucked by an inhuman vampire creature. While Ossuary was my attempt at exploring the concepts behind survival horror as a genre and the inextricable link between horror and the erotic, Reliquary is my attempt at exploring another very prevalent and established horror genre trope: the haunted house. The idea of being trapped in a home with the vestiges of domesticity surrounding you but warped by something inherently malign residing there with you. Where Ossuary was survival horror, Reliquary will be psychological horror dealing with the concept of death-of-the-self and the idea of “infestation” within a space all humans by design should find comforting (the home). I went into depth on this concept of “infestation” in last month’s blog, so if that’s something you’re curious about, go check out the Q&A segment from March to learn more about that.

Suffice to say, this is going to be a pretty intense, Dead Dove Do Not Eat type of story, and while Ossuary was already pretty Dead Dove as it was, this will be a step further in that direction given it will involve sex and the logical extension of our dubious-to-outright-lack-of consent moments experienced in late-stage Ossuary. While I don’t view Reliquary as noncon, it certainly is closer to that than any definition of “enthusiastic consent.” It will not be a story for the faint of heart, and I don’t know if I expect it to win. If need be, I’m content to just write it on my own if there’s no real interest from my patrons to see it written for them there—but given how hugely positive the response has been for Ossuary, I think it’s safe to say there is demand, just maybe not fully informed demand. That’s why I’m trying to state things plainly here.

Either way, this sequel doesn't NEED to exist, but I want it to because I think by design, Ossuary has far more story left to tell. This will not be the happy ending Ossuary didn't have; if anything, this will be almost exactly like Ossuary in that the ending will carry on the thread of "What could happen next in this situation? Nothing good!" since that's the sort of premise it is.

I enjoy trying to offer up a diverse range of vibes and dynamics to keep things fresh and give people some difficult choices to make, and this is the not cute, not nice, apeshit horror option for the year. If you’re curious about the sort of dynamic I intend for this story to have, I've posted snippets already on twitter here.

I try to write summaries to give people a general overview of each poll option, and while I hate summaries and feel like I’m pretty bad at writing them even after the story itself is fully written, here is Reliquary’s attempted summary:

Thierry Pryor is the descendant of a family of infamous vampire killers, a fact which makes him horrendously blacklisted in the magical society he begrudgingly calls home. After encountering an elder vampire with ties to his family in the Parisian Catacombs, Thierry finds himself trapped in a strange house with the creature who professes love that tastes closer to obsession, and try as Thierry might, he can't seem to tell if the vampire sees him for who he is and not the dead ancestor the vampire can't seem to forget.

What transpires is a nightmare that refuses to disappear come morning-- and proof that your life isn't always the worst thing you can lose.

So, finish reading Ossuary and if you feel like you want to see more, vote for this option!

The other premise on the poll that’s about to grandfather its way onto the monthly rotation is M4gp13, the fourth and final installment of my as-of-yet untitled Vigilante-Verse series. For those of you familiar with the previous installments, this one will be set in America with more Pride/Stray vibes than Ezra/Kennedy or Tamsen/Vulture—meaning it’s not as drama filled or plotty in an interpersonal way; it’s really just a dumb, silly, and horny little foray into how a yandere-in-training younger hero-aligned top goes rabid-simp over the sexy yet oblivious older villain who keeps taking him hostage.

The summary is as follows:

Russell 'Rus' Underwood is the most maligned sidekick in all of New York State. His mentor, the hero Royal Flush, cares more for glory-hounding than looking out for her Bloodhound, and not a week goes by without Rus dangling from a rope while paparazzi snap pictures of the hero showing off from down the street. And don't even get him started on hostage situations. If there's a sidekick who's been ransomed off more, he'll eat his cape and be done with it, then and there.

Of course... Being held hostage isn't all bad, especially when the one doing it is M4gp13, the latest villain the city finds itself playing host to. European, chic, and cool, M4gp13 may be the only villain on the eastern seaboard to care about prisoner accommodations, and really, what does it say about Rus's life that his holding cell is nicer than his apartment?

The hacker doesn't have to treat him so well, but they do. They always do, and... Well, if Rus daydreams about being someone else's sidekick every now and again... What's the harm? It's not like it'll awaken something in him... Right?

I’ve spoken at length in previous blogs about my Vigilante-Verse and all the various characters, concepts, and story premises for the three previous incarnations. This will put a nice end cap on things and serve as a very nice conclusion to the American side of things while also allowing me to dabble a bit into a relationship dynamic I don’t get to play with often enough. I know danmei is super popular right now. Have you guys read Scum Villain Self-Saving System yet? If so, then you may love this option. Imagine LBH/SQQ with these two—they are really that bad, and it’s going to be hilarious.

Also, don’t worry if you haven’t read any of the other Vigilante-Verse stories: this will be entirely self-contained and functions as a one-shot within that universe. There may be a few name drops here and there, but your enjoyment of the story at large will not suffer from not having previous experience with the series.

Though, if you’re worried… All three of the previous installments are available in full on my Patreon. I promise you won’t reget binging them all, they’re fucking hilarious XD

The next option is brand new for this year! It’s also something that I’ve never written before, shockingly enough, and I can’t lie—I’m really excited about this one. A few weeks ago I went on a James Bond bender. I grew up watching those movies as a kid because my dad fucking LOVES them, and while they’re not well written, age appropriate, or at all good anymore, there’s just something so fun about hokey spy shenanigans involving dumb gadgets, seduction and honey-potting, and over-the-top bad guys with their world-ending weapons that have a convenient off-switch located somewhere nearby.

While this story won’t get into even half of that (a girl can dream), this will be a threesome heist-type story with assassins, spies, nefarious villain auctions, and all the bullshit spy nonsense you could hope for. Given this is a newer premise, the summary is a little rough. Regardless, you all should still get the gist of what I’m aiming for with this one.

In a world of assassins, thieves, and cutthroats, the chances of making enemies are higher than the alternative. Pierce Trevelyan knows this better than most and has thus spent the majority of his working life with only one man at his back—his longtime partner Ilya. The two share everything, be it jobs, guns, and each other’s beds, so when it comes to Pierce’s attention that a captured spy has just become the prized jewel of an Underground Auction and that Ilya has taken an interest in the situation… Well, turns out there’s a secret or two between them they have yet to share.

Which is fine, Pierce thinks as he looks at the picture of the spy in question. If this "Luka" has caught Ilya’s attention, there’s no reason the two of them can’t share this, too—especially if this particular secret looks like that.

-wags eyebrows- When a bad-at-emoting killer has a crush and doesn't know how else to act on it than through acts of violence, thank god his merc boyfriend is there to ease the way once the smoke clears! I’m super excited about the character dynamics in this one. We’ve got Ilya, the big, buff, gap moe mercenary Cheeto puff, Lucas, the oblivious, breedable conman caught in a pinch with a collar around his neck and no godly idea of the sort of danger he’s in with these ersatz rescuers of his, and Pierce, the mildly entertained charismatic killer who can’t WAIT to see just what makes Lucas so interesting to Ilya.

It’s going to be a riot and a half if it wins—trust me.

And the final option on the poll and likewise the other new premise is something I’m colloquially calling Circus of the Dead. Not to be confused with Carnival, the previous winner of last year’s October poll, CotD is a SFW yet massively macabre jaunt into Limbo a la Dante’s Divine Comedy. It’s largely a “vibe” that I’ve been mucking around with for the better part of four months now and has only recently coalesced into something concrete enough to write in this format. It’s a combination of a lot of my favorite things: the call of the void, erotic death, Limbo and Purgatory, and the sort of energy I’ve been calling “Corpse Bride meets Mushishi.”

I think I said it best on the patron poll itself: “While some take their existentialism with dread, this is the story that recommends you try it with a spoonful of sugar instead… but don't let that fool you--it wears its teeth in different ways than the other options on this poll.”

The summary is pretty rough (I'm still refining this concept, but trust me, it's really, really fucking dope), but y'all should still get the gist with what I’ve got here.

The Circus of the Dead are a traveling troupe of the restless dead who perform for those occupying the interstitial boundaries of existence. Ringmaster Nikita has the beauty of the dead and charm to match, and he serves as a semi-regular torment for Lyde, tinker and check-point denizen of Limbo. While the music, laughter, and company can break up the monotony of eternal neutrality, it also comes with challenges of its own. Something is off about the Circus’s newest member, and Nikita doesn’t want Lyde to find out what. And what, pray tell, is that rhythmic noise coming from Nikita's personal caravan?

The beguiling dead are a distracting danger, even to someone neither living nor dead. Lyde’s duty compels them to discover what Nikita is hiding, even if it does mean exposing themself to the full scope of the undead’s eternal charms.

It’s going to be a deep dive into Dante’s concept of Hell, the idea of functions of Limbo working as personifications of Duty (think of Lyde sort of like Charon in Chthonic myth), and the idea that while the dead want the living to be dead along with them, everyone has their roles to play, their duties to fulfill, and giving in to this hot, dead thing’s impressive tits will only result in you becoming a hot, dead thing, too, and you’re still on the clock!

Or, as I’ve been describing it to my editor and artist friend, CotD is what happens when a really slutty corpse tries to show his tits to the TSA agent checking his bag in order to distract them from the contraband tucked into their cosmetic bag.

That’s it. That’s literally the story. Excited? I hope so XD and not just about CotD. I hope you’re excited about all of these poll options. I feel like we’ve got a super strong, stacked set of choices this year, and I hope I’ve made it hard on all of you voters because as of right now, I can’t even decide which of these I’d want to work on more. They’re all bangers. No matter what wins, I guarantee we’re in for a rollicking good time.

Let’s open things up to some questions about these stories, other stories, and anything people felt like sending my way this month.

Do you have any prerequisites before you start a good writing sesh? Like a cup of coffee ect?

I do! I usually write here and there over the course of the work week as my schedule/energy allows and save my big writing binges for the weekends. I typically wake up between 8-9am, shower, go through my normal morning routine of doing my hair and getting dressed, and I make myself a latte with at least four shots of espresso. While I drink that, I’ll go through my social media, answer emails, update my website, and do the random bits and pieces of managing a business like this before tucking into whatever chapter I’ve got on deck for that weekend. By that point the caffeine has hit and I’m focused and ready to write.

The writing process itself involves listening to one of my many spotify playlists, typically something upbeat, heavy, and metal. I usually make a goal to get to before I stop for lunch, i.e. completing half of the required writing or ¾ depending on how easily it’s writing. I usually experience a dip in productivity after I eat so I really like to do as much as I’m physically able to do before stopping to eat anything.

So, yeah, a cup of coffee usually makes an appearance when I do a writing session XD I also treat it the same way I would treat a real job. I shower, do my hair, and I get dressed. I do as much as I can to put myself into Work Mode so I’m not tempted to fuck off the entire day on youtube or whatever instead, and a common thing I opt for when working and encountering blocks or dips in motivation is taking a walk mid-afternoon or just doing something outside for maybe an hour before getting back to things.

How do you pronounce “Thierry”?

Well, I’m shite at French so I pronounce it wrongly as “Theuh-ry.” To my knowledge, it’s more like “Tee-eyree” but the “tee” has a bit of a “t-yhuh” softness to it. This video will say it for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BULYCNSGFNQ.

I can pronounce Latin, Greek, and my bullshit titles much better than some French names (do not even begin to ask me how to pronounce Hippolyte), so sometimes, just reading it is better than saying it aloud.

Will you be at (insert convention name here)?

Maybe! My rule of thumb is that I’ll apply for just about any convention within easy driving distance of where I live (Fort Wayne, IN) if it seems large enough to be worth the trip and has its applications open.

If there’s a specific convention you’d like to see me at, feel free to use the contact form on my website to let me know or just leave a comment on one of my posts/DM me on social media! I likely will not travel further south than southern Indiana given I’m in the northern part of Indiana, a deceptively long state, but I’ll happily travel around to Ohio, Michigan, or Illinois and consider further conventions if I’ve got friends near the con who could help facilitate me flying and mailing my books out there (like I did to attend Anime Minneapolis).

I’ll be attending Colossalcon and vending at their Thursday Craft Fair as well as JAFAX the following weekend. As of right now, those are the only confirmed conventions I’ve got left for the year, but I’m crossing my fingers for Youmacon and potentially the Matsuricon waitlist to fall in my favor. If there are any other late-in-the-year cons you’d like me to consider, please, let me know! I’m all ears.

That’s it for now! Please, please, PLEASE check out my poll and cast your vote! If you see the post on Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr, consider sharing it to spread the word about this event. My dearest wish is to branch out and include more people in this awesome event that makes October so fun for me every year, and the more we talk about the story premises and what’s potentially on tap, the more interest will be generated towards that end.

Also, I know everyone who ordered a signed copy of Ossuary has now received it. Great! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my latest offering, and if you did and want to help me out a little more, please leave reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, and anywhere else you post to let people know your thoughts! This can happen on TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter—anything you want. The biggest challenge indie publications face will always be marketing, so any little bit you’re able to do to show your enjoyment helps me immensely when it comes to finding new readers and new audiences.

Thank you all for what you’ve done, and happy voting!

Until next time,

T.D. Cloud

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 52. Seeded full with light

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56516938

Word count: 15,841

Chapters: 1

First posted: 9th June 2024

Summary: 

Kinkmeme prompt: His Radiancy can't touch, but he can still look! Someone gets Kip off in front of HR. Maybe it's Kip getting himself off, maybe it's the whole household putting on a show, maybe it's Maybelline!

Cliopher Mdang has survived three whole days as personal secretary to the Sun-on-Earth - but that might be about to change. In the face of a magical emergency he can only offer to help out, whatever it takes - despite his new lord's evident discomfort. That's got to be some kind of treason, right?

How and why this came about

You know how it is, you’re busy priding yourself on not being sucked into taking part in any challenge songs prompt challenges and then someone goes and sets up a whole kinkmeme, rich with gorgeously deranged prompts.

There were already a dozen or so prompts up on the 9worldskinkmeme by the time I first scrolled through it. Several caught my eye. I wasn’t planning to write any more fanfic, of course, or not for a while as I had managed to take some time off work and really needed to focus on my original fic.

Just one, I thought, and this one snagged me.

I didn’t really have a plan except that I wanted a scenario where Cliopher would fuck/be fucked by multiple partners in front of his Radiancy, early in his time as a secretary.

There had to be some external reason why this was needed. I didn’t think he’d move straight to sex unless it really did seem to be the most practical solution to a problem that presented itself. So I brought in everybody’s favourite manufacturers of problems large and small, the Ouranatha, and had them break something in a way that would take drastic action to fix.

I hadn’t really thought things through when I started writing the opening scene where Lady Hylia bursts into the room with her news, but as I wrote her plea for help I realised that I quite liked this person. She was willing to risk his Radiancy’s wrath to seek help when her colleagues had blundered, in the interests of the greater good. She seemed, in fact, like somebody Cliopher could work with. So that handed me the second concept - that the High Council of the Ouranatha are a mixed bag of individuals, some genuinely nice, some… less so.

The third important thing for me here is that while the situation forces events, Cliopher is not forced. He isn’t personally moved that much by sex, which allows him to look at the position with a clear-eyed practicality: somebody magic-null needs to ensure a large number of wizards orgasm in close sequence, and he’s the only person available to help. So he’s the driving force behind the action, overruling his Radiancy’s objections, telling the guards not to intervene, and pushing the priest-wizards into coming up with an approach that will be as efficient as possible for all of them.

What worked and what didn’t

This fic probably has the best title of anything I’ve written. I had taken to reading poems in search of titles and this phrase jumped out at me. The original context is very much less, er, smutty, but it just works so well here. Sorry, Seamus Heaney.

The concept of Moonchildren also arose naturally out of the premise. If orgasms enhance a mage’s power, and it’s important that their partner be magic-null to prevent interference, then there would be some kind of structure within the Schooled Magic system to support the empire’s mages getting what they wanted. It seemed likely that it would be one of those things that was difficult for the emperor to stop before the Fall, but that it would be harder post-Fall for the mages to find and induct suitable candidates.

As an aside, it seems like the story of an order/guild/brothel of the magic null specifically constructed to help mages enhance their abilities in a predominantly magic-using society could be a fascinating one to tell in a different context too. There are so many directions it could go in following different cultural assumptions and power dynamics.

Anyway, the device worked well for making it possible for me to write Clopher into this decision without spending a lot of words on him debating it. It presented him with a pattern and precedent for his actions in a system he could comprehend, which jumped over a lot of the detailed questions that he might otherwise ask.

The decision to distinguish all of Cliopher’s partners in this exercise was a practical one - these were original characters and I needed it to be possible for a reader to follow what was happening because the number was plot-relevant and part of the challenge song.

Having realised that Lady Hylia was probably, fundamentally, a Good Egg, I mentally allocated each of her compatriots by how decent they were (as well as by physical attributes, general vibes, etc). The result worked really well both for making the smut more interesting to read and for highlighting Cliopher’s priorities (i.e. averting another Fall over his personal interests).

The prompt was about Cliopher being displayed in front of his Radiancy, but I left it somewhat ambiguous how much the emperor had actually seen. Having him slip into a deep trance trying to fix the magic by himself before the sex became necessary explained why he wasn’t intervening further at the start in a bid to protect Cliopher from himself. 

It also works, I think, that Cliopher immediately stopped thinking about where he was and who might be watching: he had a task to focus on and was determined to do superlatively well. If he remembers that the cost of saving the world might be making it too awkward for him to continue as his Radiancy’s secretary, that will be a distraction. So he is Not Thinking About It.

In the end it comes back to the relationship between Them. To Cliopher’s petty treasons and his lord’s appreciation, and what that means to them both, For a story with such a big and messy fuck-or-apocalypse, the last sections got really soft and tender.

What I learned from writing it

The dreamwidth text boxes are much longer than a discord comment box, and the feedback is all in anonymous comments rather than emoji that might pop up instantly as you type. There’s something beautifully old school about the interface and I enjoyed that. 

This story also had a curious impact on those who read it in that several were interested in how it might continue but they split cleanly down the middle. There was a camp on one side who were interested in how the Ouranatha might try to lay claim to Cliopher, now they know what he can do, and a camp on the other side who were interested in what this early upheaval would do for the relationships between Cliopher, Conju and his Radiancy.

I only managed to write this fic because I had some time off work and was too stressed by job applications etc to work on my original fic. I’ve been tempted by a number of the prompts on the kinkmeme since, but having seen how this ‘oh, just one little one’ shaped up, I’ve successfully resisted writing any more fills. I do look forward to coming back to it some time when my other stalled projects (original and fanfic) have moved on or wrapped up and I have some more capacity.

[minkdelovely]

I literally don’t know how many times I’ve said I’m gonna be insufferable but I need y’all to actually take me seriously this time (especially since this is being released in parts — I anticipate to be INSANE over each).

Words are honestly escaping me… not that all of Hazel’s work doesn’t have that effect on me lmao but this is like… touching on so many tropes and themes that I am genuinely NOT normal about 🙈

Reasons why you ABSOLUTELY NEED to read this: 1. EXCEPTIONALLY WRITTEN 2. BANTER is IMMACULATE 3. PREMISE is original and fun and cute and exciting and —

Okay I had to stop myself before I start sounding manic (teehee). Some highlights/reactions below because I am NORMAL and obviously react to things in such a completely casual way I actually come off as aloof (sorry for fooling you all — it WILL happen again).

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

“Are you a doctor?” Hotel manager and doctor would be an unlikely combo, but the day had been odd from start to finish.

I couldn’t help but laugh… this made me think of “shoe making and obstetrics”. We love a twin passion.

What’s some sex between nuns? 

that’s what I’M saying 😔

His chest pressed into your back, nearly forcing you to fall into the armoire, to assist you.

I love feeling small tbh 🥲🥲🥲

You stood there for several moments, staring at him with purple fabric pooled around your ankles, him staring at you with a shiteating grin.

so bitchy, I’m a sucker for it (shh don’t worry about my red flags y’all) 🫠

You felt Alastor’s hand again, now on your hip. You took three steps to the right, slipping from his fingertips.

oh goddd it’s already starting 🥲❤️‍🔥

Flustered, Lucifer fumbled with his phone before dropping it. “Oh! Shit! H-hello!”

the way I can see & hear this in my brain, I adore him

“Oh no! That’s— you’re gonna be here awhile.” Lucifer pulled at his collar in a mock attempt to release the awkward heat of the conversation.

SCREAMING

You saw the sky less often than Alastor’s grin and you couldn’t stand it.

babyyyy 🥺

The next morning you awoke to find your floor littered with strips of something. Flinging open the armoire you found two empty hangers. You turned back, noticing the white and purple color to the fabric confetti.

I literally gasped — NAUGHTY BOY

Alastor’s ears folded back, eyes looking to the left and up, “Odd. Are you sure? Maybe you accidentally threw them away.” That devilish grin you’d come to expect. He knew damn well how stupid that was.

CATTY

His voice was so low and close, had anyone ever spoken to you with such a commanding tone? A new feeling twitched in you. You blocked it out.

🫠🫠🫠

His other hand came to press on the door, too. An arm to either side of you, trapped, as he leaned in. You pressed yourself against the door to make distance from his body

A FULL FUCKING KABEDON???!!! I AM SHAKING!!!

A choking noise from behind the bar made you stand up in your seat, eyes flying from Husk to Alastor. A glowing green leash dragging Husk across the floor, his hands desperately pulling at the collar as he struggled to breath.

HUSK NOOOO 😭

You hit the hand Alastor offered you but were surprised to see his face painted with concern.

MY IMAGINATION WILL HAUNT ME WITH THIS FOREVER (even though he was literally just being so evil)

“I said stop.” After rolling to your feet you began to march away. “Every time I find something nice in this piece of shit domain you remind me I’m in hell.”

tell him baby!! 👏🏻

His chest was shaking with every breath. Why didn’t you move? Just walk away. Knock off that touch as you had been doing. You hadn’t noticed how quickly you were breathing, too, until his hand was pulling your chin up and towards his face.

SWEATINGGG

A laugh, “At least pretend you mean it.” 

GIRL 🫠

“What a terrible reply!” You slid down the wall and slipped under his arms, “If you shadow work your way into this room I will fuck that horny spider on camera just to spite you.” You opened your door, pausing to make sure he was still down the hall, “Angel on Angel, working title.”

…I’d watch it

Tasked with making a demon believe in true love or you can’t return to heaven, things immediately go off the rails when you hurt yourself and Alastor catches one of your most troubling arrows; Mania

I managed to finish this despite, ya know, the aforementioned: (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

˚₊ · »-♡→ Week 1 and Week 2 (keep reading)

˚₊ · »-♡→Week 3 and Week 4 smut💦

⏳QUEUED 4/17⌛️

˚₊ · »-♡→Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, and Prologue smut💦 ⏳QUEUED 4/18⌛️

「warnings/promises: Alastor x CupidFemReader, broken bones, feet washing, normal sized Luci, you know the outfit in my PFP? You’re wearing that but soft purple and the bottom half is ambiguous because idk baby whatever you feel best in it’s your story, Husk has a bad time, Alastor has a bad time, You have a bad time, Charlie has a great time 👌🏼, not choking」

Minors this one is chill but the next two imma need you to Dani 💋 ♥️ 🧹lovingly

You had made a mistake, yes, but Hell? Really?

Sure, you had dropped an arrow into the water supply of a nunnery which did lead to some unholy behaviors. But! The nuns seemed quite happy. Wasn’t that the point?

Tossing you to Hell through a hastily opened portal was honestly unprofessional. You ended up dropping three stories, upside down, in front of a butcher's shop.

In the seconds between Sera telling you, ‘You can return when you’ve made a sinner believe in true love.’ and Lute kicking you square in the chest through the hell door, you thought it wouldn’t be so hard. True, you couldn’t use your arrows as that wouldn’t be “true love” and also too easy, even gods weak to your shots, but ultimately sinners were still human. Humans were pushovers! Pliable, gentle at their hearts, desiring love and tenderness. How bad could the naughty ones be? 

And then you landed shoulder first onto the pavement. It hurt. Things didn’t hurt in heaven…

Your arrows scattered, quiver spilling when you inverted. Wincing, you scrambled to grab as many as were within reach. Your right shoulder was burning, a new sensation.

You counted them by name as you gathered: Eros, Agape, Philia, Pragma, Philautia, Ludus, Storge… panic. 

ErosAgapePhiliaPragmaPhilautiaLudusStorge— Mania wasn’t there. Arguably the arrow that caused you the most trouble, the sting of Mania would cause a madness that led to obsessive behaviors, possessiveness, jealousy. 

Pulling yourself up, arrows clutched in one hand, the other holding the place near your collar was throbbing, your eyes were frantic in their search.

“What’s this?”

You finally looked up from the sidewalk, a man’s back to you before he turned. Bile rose and burned your throat as he pulled Mania from where it had pierced his chest pocket.

His eyes, shades of red heaven didn’t even entertain, made a simple trip from the arrow's head to your face.

The man went so still you thought for a moment he was a hologram, but you could see the tiniest rise and fall of his chest. A deer facing down a bright light, he remained frozen in place as you began to approach him.

“Excuse my manners, but that’s mine and I really need it back.” Your injured arm moved first and the pain made you see white, a cry so sharp people turned to look. He snapped back to his senses, and with an odd sound you couldn’t quite place, he seemingly disappeared into the ground.

Mania was left behind, shining smugly against the dirty pavement. You didn’t want to make a reach for it, fear flooding you. You’d never felt pain before.

You’d seen it in humans, but never in your existence had you experienced it. Would both arms hurt?

You let the left hand abandon its guarding place and grabbed the errant arrow. Tucking into an alley, you crouched and returned the arrows to their quiver with immense difficulty.

Okay, yes it was Hell but maybe you were a little paranoid. A sense of being watched wouldn't leave you even after you re-emerged from the darkness of the alley. 

The enormity of your task set in as you surveyed the area. You, an obviously heavenly creature even without your wings out on display, would need time to make anyone believe in any form of love. Where would you go in the meantime? And now injured for the first time in your life? How long would that need to mend?

Expanding your view, you saw the currently defunct doomsday countdown hovering above the embassy. Perfect, holy ground would atleast keep you safe for the night, which was falling with a malignant speed.

They couldn’t have given you some time to change? Or pack a set of clothes? Your short sleeved button up a (literally) glowing shade of white was attracting too much attention, golden sandals now cloudy from various fluids across Pentagram city’s streets. Your heart shaped overalls a powdered purple, you looked like an adult child among a sea of very tired professionals. 

When you got to the embassy you only had one good arm to open the heavy doors, which unfortunately didn’t budge. Perhaps you needed two? Trying to muster up some adrenaline, you began to pant. Deep breaths like the women in labour you sometimes worked your magic on.

As soon as you gripped the handle you saw something that made you jump back, muscles flexing around whatever damage you’d done in your body from the fall. A large black snake? Some demonic squid’s appendage? Something unholy grabbed hold of the handle as soon as you had and gave such a tug the doors violently shook.

You spun around to the dark neighborhood behind you. Nothing. Turning back the thing was gone. And so was all of your hope. It was locked. The tears were unwanted and unnecessary, but just-- you were hurting so much, you were dirty, you were alone, and now essentially homeless.

If there was ever a reason to cry, you decided to let yourself have this one. 

The lamplights flickered and the entire street went pitch black. Because of course it did.

Hyperventilating now entirely without intention, you watched as one light to the left popped on with a static buzz. Desperate to be out of the darkness you ran to the spotlight. As soon as your foot entered the beam, the light beside it lit up. Your eyes wandered to heaven above, were they helping you? Had you not been entirely abandoned?

Of course! Yeah. They sensed you at the doors and sent off some guidance. How silly of you. Relief washed over you as you ran through the lights until your foot left one spotlight but the next hadn't popped on.

Twirling back to the embassy, you saw all of the lights shut off in succession behind you.

Just you and the one lamp now, and the glow of some TVs in the shop window to the right. What was the meaning of this? 

That weird sound you heard earlier but couldn’t place… electricity but dusty and barely contained. Your gaze was drawn to the radio in the shop window in front of you. You hadn’t noticed it until it buzzed to life. It lit up faintly, dial turning on its own until a high and smooth voice rang out, “Looking for your way to heaven? You’re in luck! The Hazbin Hotel is now accepting any and all willing to find redemption!”

This must have been the message, I mean, heaven was never good at being subtle.

“Just make your way to the left and toward the looming building atop the hill!”

Your head turned to your left and then up slightly. Bathed in red and white lights stood a behemoth of a building on the edge of a cliff.

Head still facing the hotel, your eyes flitted back to the radio.

“Reception is open 24 hours a day!”

You touched your arm, then patted at your pockets. Not a wallet or ID card on you. You were the 17th Cupid incarnation, why would you have a fucking ID card? But didn’t those places need such things? You’d seen every romcom earth had ever produced. There was always some issue with hotel check ins. 

“Not a red cent needed! We literally do not care who you are!”

Oh. Wait. Was this a trap?

“Created by the Lucifer Morningstar’s daughter! A foolish young woman who genuinely believes in reforming sinners!”

Lucifer?? The former angel, yes, but the word angel carried much more weight now. Perhaps he would have a modicum of pity given your circumstances.

You took an unsteady foot forward and toward the hotel when the street lights all buzzed back to life.

The path to the hotel was long, many demons stopping you on your way but quickly losing interest after a second or two of pestering you. You gave a silent prayer to the archangels for that blessing.

It must have been nearly 1am when you finally made it to the hotel’s doors. When you entered you found an empty reception desk and a poorly written note:

Before the bell’s hammer even hit the metal, a man popped up from behind the counter.

The man.

The man you shot with Mania.

“Welcome to th-,”

You were outside and leaving the awning before he could finish, but just as quickly as you left he appeared in front of you, “Still missing your manners?”

He blocked your path with his remarkable size. Why were demons so tall? What was the use of it?

“Deer got your tongue?” He bent over unnaturally at the waist.

“What?”

“Would you like-,” he began.

You walked around him and down the driveway. He moved briskly beside you, slowly growing larger and larger until his body was several stories tall and entirely blocking the gates of the premises.

A horror. Hell was full of horrors.

He crouched, large toothy smile now baring down at you.

If you stabbed him in the eye with an arrow, which would cause the least trouble? It was a rule to never give a double love bite but this was a dire situation.

But if you were sent to hell for a little nun love fest, what would purposefully stabbing a sinner do?

He rapidly shrank, hands coming to his front to catch a summoned microphone…Cane? Staff?

“You’re injured. Just, come back inside. I promise I don’t bite without consent.” His head cocked to the side, a quiet, “Usually” tacked on.

We’re you visibly hurt? How bad was it? You looked past him to where sounds of yelling and music were rolling up the hill.

“You don’t have many options, angel.” He hissed the word through clenched teeth. Disgust almost seemed to lace his voice, but why, then, was he offering help?

“Not an angel. Cupid. Different.” Kind of. You gave the quiver a shake.

“Ah yes. That explains why you shot at me earlier.” A large hand came to your side and directed you to turn back around. He kept it there, pushing softly to keep you moving.

“I didn't shoot you.”, You huffed, crossing your arms before doubling over in pain. He stopped walking, hand resting now against your spine. Regaining your composure, you continued towards the hotel lobby, “My arrows fell out and…you caught one. With your body.”

“My pocket made quite the lucky catch. Now!” He snapped, a key appearing and floating into his hand with a sparkle of neon green, “Let’s get you to a room and cleaned up.”

“Do you work here?” You asked as he escorted you to one of the upper floors. The room was surprisingly clean and well decorated. You had expected a dingy highway motel. And while the room was largely dark wood and rich colors, it wasn’t as offensive as the rest of hell had been.

“Ah! My my, forgive me! I am Alastor, the radio demon and hotel manager here.” He bowed and offered his hand for you to place yours in. You did so without thinking, and he kissed your knuckles once but his mouth lingered over your flesh. Eyes half lidded, he glanced back up at you, “It is an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

There was no way to reverse Cupid’s arrows. Not by force. Love could only die by the hands of the ones who held it. Others could definitely bruise it, but ultimately it was up to the beholder. Mania was a little different, obsession could be dispelled by shattering whatever illusion the holder felt.

If the holder thought someone was the epitome of genteel chastity then a show of wanton sexuality could break the spell. If someone was convinced the object of their desire was very smart and savvy then acting ignorant could make the obsession fall flat. But there was no indication he had any illusions of you. Not yet, atleast.

Mania was now his, and he would keep it in his heart until he lost it or killed it. He could, technically, be possessed by, and be in the possession of, Mania for eternity. A sinner had never been shot before, that you knew of.

He didn’t noticeably react as you took back your hand. With a hum, he snapped again and you found a chair pulled up behind you and knocking into the back of your knees. You fell into the plush armchair, watching a metal basin of steaming water slide against your feet.

“Excuse you— ExcUU-,” you pulled your legs back but he pulled harder, Alastor removing your dirty shoes and tossing them off to the side like trash.

“You can't clean yourself with that broken collar bone. Allow me.” His hand gripped your ankles and dunked both into the water, “I insist.”

“It’s broken? How could I break a collarbone…,” the humor wasn’t lost on you, sinner washing holy feet, but your focus was entirely on the concept of a broken bone. 

“Falling twenty five feet head first, apparently.” Alastor rubbed soap into your calves.

“But I don’t break.” What happened to you, what had that kick into hell done? “You saw me? Also, that isn’t dirty.” you pointed at your calf.

“Peripherally.”

Did he mean the dirt or witnessing the fall? You sat in silence while he hummed, returning your feet to their original color. 

“Now,” he rose, patting his hands dry on a small towel, “Unbutton your top.”

Your expression was apparently quite loud, Alastor putting his hands up quickly, “Not like that. I’ve no interest in that sort of thing. I need to see your shoulder and upper chest.” He waited patiently, staring at you the entire time. His smile was so wide, teeth yellow and sharp. Unsettling. 

He really did look like he could eat you. You’d heard of such demons.

You slipped off the straps of your overalls, and began to open your shirt. He did away with the water, coming to kneel directly to your right as he watched. You couldn’t see anything without some kind of mirror. If it was bruised or swollen, it was out of your line of sight. Long clawed hands came to the front and back of your shoulder, pressing inward. You pulled away, a firm grip now as his right hand held at the left side of your waist.

“Are you a doctor?” Hotel manager and doctor would be an unlikely combo, but the day had been odd from start to finish.

A shake of the head, “But when I was alive, I did have quite a lot of experience with the inner workings of anatomy.” You grimaced, how could he say such sinister things with such a lovely voice? “Maybe not broken. But I’d say at least a fracture. Perhaps your heavenly body didn’t take full damage. It hurts when you move your arm, correct?” You nodded. 

He hummed, another click of his fingers and a fabric unfurled into his waiting hands. “Take it all the way off so I can set this.”

You were exhausted. The pain was gnawing at your nerves. No more fight in you, you just wanted rest, so you slipped off the shirt entirely and let him wrap your arm up into a simple sling. You were surprised his hands were so warm. Demons seemed like they’d be cold to the touch. Like lizards or pearls.

When he finished, you sitting in the large chair with your arm wrapped in a silky black sling, no shirt, and pastel purple heart-shaped overalls folded down your torso, you considered having another cry. You felt your chin tremble. You couldn’t recall ever crying from sadness before today.

It was just a mistake. You hadn’t meant to drop your arrow. Why were the archangels so angry? What’s some sex between nuns? 

Alastor bristled, hand coming to your cheek. It was an unwelcome gesture. You batted his hand away with your only free one, but he just sighed and set it on your thigh. You pushed it off, shooting him a glare. The audacity.

You thought you saw his eye twitch.

With what little energy was left in, you stood and open the door for him, “You have been very kind and helpful. Thank you very much. You can leave now.” Oh, right, “Please.”

He stood, pausing as he passed you. He was so tall. Shoulders wide. You felt your heart rate pick up. Even with two good collarbones you knew you couldn’t take him in a fight.

Alastor leaned down to your level, you backing up and into the door, “Until the morning.”

When he said it you had thought he was just going about formalities. But he wasn’t. You awoke some hours later to a knock. When you opened the door he was looming in your doorway again.

You tried to close the door but he put his foot in the gap, then a strong hand wrapped around the door’s edge and he pushed his way into the room.

You sputtered, arm flailing a little as you choked on which reaction to give first. You were undressed, in just your under things.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself further when you get dressed. I’ll undo the sling and help.” Closing the door he then spun back around to face you, smile as bright as it was earlier that same day. 

“No! Absolutely not! Leave! Please!”

As he guided your arm through the shirt, you struggled to process what had happened. One minute you were indignant and stubborn and then he was so close to you, hands warm and gentle, and then already he was untying the sling and your shirt was just there and-

“See? Wasn’t that easy? No harm in accepting help.” Alastor looked you over from top to bottom.  

“Accepting? What part of any of that did I accept.” You stood bottomless in a button up, trying to get the overalls from the hanger with just your left hand. His chest pressed into your back, nearly forcing you to fall into the armoire, to assist you.

“The part where you didn’t actively fight me. I think we can call that acceptance until you learn better.” His words shook through your ribs and to your front. 

Annoyance rose in your chest, what was he thinking? Humans had no right to touch you let alone a sinner. “You’re an eldritch horror, please back away from the divine creature before you.” Alastor laughed, backing away with the clothes in his hands. Hand out, you motioned for him to pass it over. He tossed it on the floor, and took a seat on the bed with crossed legs. “Oh, I see. You’re an asshole. Perfect.” Pretense gone, manners not needed.

You grabbed it with your left hand and managed to get both legs into it before slinking it up and onto your left shoulder. While you tried to figure out how to do the right side, realizing the flaw in your order of processes, Alastor leaned over and unhooked the left strap, overalls falling to the carpet with a soft thud. 

You stood there for several moments, staring at him with purple fabric pooled around your ankles, him staring at you with a shiteating grin.

After finally getting dressed, preferring to not think about how, you were followed down to the lobby. 

“Breakfast?” He asked, you both in the elevator as he hadn’t gone more than three feet from you since he entered your bedroom. 

“No, no appetite. I need to find Lucifer.” You were sure he could help somehow. Somehow he could do….something. Details about Lucifer’s powers and abilities, his strengths and skills were all kept hush-hush. But if nothing else, you could find someone who understood your position. 

Your hand was being vigorously shaken before the elevator doors even closed behind you. Charlie Morningstar was not what you expected.  Chipper and bright, she was bursting with energy. 

“Gentle, Charlie. Our dear Cupid is injured.” Alastor’s hand came to the small of your back. You reached back with your left hand and knocked it off of you. 

“Like, the real actual cupid?!” Charlie’s eyes were shining, you could almost see the hearts floating up around her face. You felt Alastor’s hand again, now on your hip. You took three steps to the right, slipping from his fingertips.

“Yes, that is exactly what I-.” You were cut off, Charlie launching into a speech about sinners and heaven and redemption and so much more you couldn’t process. 

The energy she gave us was very angelic, which was confusing. Until you saw her father entering the common area.

The most hated creature in all of creation. Your best hope for a tiny sliver of comfort. 

Alastor’s hand reached for yours, fingers trapping your wrist and stopping you from approaching the king of hell. 

You shook your arm. His hold stayed. You tugged. He was unaffected, talking to Charlie now about your injury as if you weren’t right there. 

As Cupid, or at least as a cupid, you weren’t physically strong. You really weren’t meant to exist for a long time, just for as long as your body held up to repeated trips to the human realm. But, in heaven, you were never capable of being harmed. And of course, on earth, you weren’t really corporeal so no harm could come to you. You weren’t built for tug of war with a 7 foot tall demon.

“Mr. Devil! Sir!” You waved your foot, shouting out to the normal sized man. As he saw you, his eyes widened, “Hello there! Sorry to be a bother, I’m from heaven and-” You jerked your hand free, power walking to Lucifer, “I’m here on punishment. It’s a pleasure to meet another member of Elysium’s caretakers. Former or otherwise.”

Flustered, Lucifer fumbled with his phone before dropping it. “Oh! Shit! H-hello!”

You reached down to retrieve it for him, seeing black and red shoes behind you as you did. 

“What — why are you here?” Lucifer was looking at Alastor now, which was great news because for a second you thought he was talking to you. A sneaking feeling leaked into your chest that heaven hadn’t actually told him you were coming. 

“Just keeping an eye on my guest! As you can see she got injured and I’ve taken to the task of her safety while she’s in hell.” 

“No one asked him to do that, sir.” Your smile was strained, you could feel Alastor’s shoulder was touching yours. You looked to where you were connected and then back to Lucifer, “Are all sinners like this?”

“Honestly? Yes. They’re all pretty terrible.” Lucifer sighed, “What did you do?”

A cold sweat, “Misused an arrow. I can’t leave hell until I make a demon who doesn’t already believe in true love…believe in it.”

“Oh no! That’s— you’re gonna be here awhile.” Lucifer pulled at his collar in a mock attempt to release the awkward heat of the conversation. He saw you wither, and Alastor seemed to bloom, so he quickly changed pace, “But! Uhhh, you can totally do it! Charlie has some of the best of the worst here. If I can ever help, just ask!” Nervous laughter that did not put you at ease. He seemed so silly. So sweet and easily flustered. 

You felt your hope dash for a second time in less than a day. How long would you be in hell? How long was awhile?

“She is my responsibility now. She won’t be needing anything from you, your majesty.”

A darkness came over you as the two demons began to bicker. You now had your own obsessed shadow; a large and creepy sinner following you around. How on earth could you get close enough to a demon to complete your task? Convincing someone of true love would require trust and time. This would be impossible with Alastor attached to your side. 

You spent the first week in hell in the hotel. Everytime you got the courage to leave and explore the areas outside, you’d find yourself shadow portaled “back to safety” by Alastor. It was like the human film ‘Groundhog Day’, always starting over back in the lobby. 

No matter where you went in the hotel, he was either beside you or where you had been headed. You saw the sky less often than Alastor’s grin and you couldn’t stand it. You took to hiding, leaning against darkened stairwell corners and sitting on the floor of the ladies restroom. 

It bought you a little time to yourself, but the second you moved he was there again. Asking if you were a lost little doe, hand reaching for your waist to pull you near him, red eyes threatening to swallow you whole.

Toward the end of the week, while helping you get dressed as he did daily, Alastor took a step back. “I could get you some new clothes. Cannibal town has the finest duds.” He lifted the lace that lined the top of your  pocket, “You stick out. No demon is going to let you trick them into believing in true love like this.”

You could have screamed. No, no demon would even approach you with Alastor standing behind you. It absolutely wasn’t the clothes. You politely rejected the offer and went about your day.

The next morning you awoke to find your floor littered with strips of something. Flinging open the armoire you found two empty hangers. You turned back, noticing the white and purple color to the fabric confetti.

The march to Alastor’s room was easy, as it was 10 feet in front of your door. He had placed you directly across from him, because, ya know, Mania.

He clearly hadn’t expected you to leave your room in your underwear, eyes like saucers as he yanked you in.

“What in heaven are you doing?! Anyone could see you.” He hissed, closing the door with a little too much force.

“Whose fault is that?!” You seethed in return. Anger was something you rarely ever felt but he was inspiring new things in you. “Someone shredded my clothes.”

Alastor’s ears folded back, eyes looking to the left and up, “Odd. Are you sure? Maybe you accidentally threw them away.” That devilish grin you’d come to expect. He knew damn well how stupid that was.

You stomped your foot, if you had two working hands you’d try to rip his antlers off, “Are you serious?!” You turned to leave, kicking the door before attempting to open it.

A large hand pressed back on the door, slamming it shut. His breath was dropping down the back of your neck despite his considerable height, “You will not be leaving this room in such a state of undress, my dear.”

His voice was so low and close, had anyone ever spoken to you with such a commanding tone? A new feeling twitched in you. You blocked it out.

“You don’t get to make decisions for me,” said too softly.

His other hand came to press on the door, too. An arm to either side of you, trapped, as he leaned in. You pressed yourself against the door to make distance from his body.

“Oh, I absolutely do. Who is going to stop me? You?” Alastor’s voice had noticeably dropped an octave as he whispered what felt like a challenge against your hair.

Who indeed…you had no strength, an arrow would either be useless or complicate things. Lucifer seemed preoccupied and jittery. Heaven wasn’t returning your prayers.

He took your silence as an answer.

“Exactly. Now, I’ll only ask nicely once.” His hands left, warmth on your neck fading. You turned to look at him, sensing his eyes burning holes into your back.

He was holding a two piece set. Older style, 1920s American maybe. Black and burgundy. When did he have time to get this when every hour seemed to be spent near you?

“May I help you get dressed?”

You’d gotten quite close with the few residents who didn’t run at the sight of Alastor. Husk was one of them. You became fast friends, often drinking and lamenting about Alastor’s general existence as Alastor sat some 15 feet away on the sofa. Still not allowed outside the hotel gates, your second week you spent many hours at the bar talking to the surprisingly kind grump.

To your delight Alastor didn’t seem bothered by it, oddly, as long as you were in eyesight he seemed content.

You thought maybe his mania was already waning. Sure you hadn’t attempted to leave the hotel, and you hadn’t argued when he dressed you, but…Ah, hm. Fuck.

Mania can look like Love when you don't struggle against it. A fly motionless in a web can elude the spider for a little bit.

Don't push against the restraints and you can forget they are there entirely.

But push you did, accidentally. Husk was making some new cocktails, trying to enjoy himself and be creative. 

“Yeah, that’s it.” He grinned.

“Good?” 

He took another sip before handing the glass to you. You grabbed it, taking a taste. Sweet but a bite as it went down. Something with citrus. When you looked up from the glass, he was gone.

A choking noise from behind the bar made you stand up in your seat, eyes flying from Husk to Alastor. A glowing green leash dragging Husk across the floor, his hands desperately pulling at the collar as he struggled to breath. 

“Stop!” You shouted, crawling over the bar and grabbing the chain with your good arm. You tried to pull back, to slow the choking force, but got pulled along with it. “Alastor!” You screamed as your shoulder hit the floor and sent searing pain down your arm. 

You could hear Husk gasp, the green glow disappearing from past your clenched eyelids. 

“Why can’t you-,” Alastor started to speak a he came to your side. Husk scurried away, crawling back from the demon. You hit the hand Alastor offered you but were surprised to see his face painted with concern.

“I said stop.” After rolling to your feet you began to march away. “Every time I find something nice in this piece of shit domain you remind me I’m in hell.”

You had almost made it to your room when a hand pulled you by the good shoulder and pushed you against the wall. It still hurt. 

“Don’t you know? Sharing a drink, it’s as close to a kiss as you could get without bringing your mouth to his.”

“It was a drink, Alastor. You had no right.”

His hand settled on your throat. No grip, just a gentle placement, “I have every right.” His brows knit together in worry, in confusion. “What should I do to make you understand me?” His hand came to your chin, thumb ghosting over your lips.

“If I let you go too far, someone will surely take you. Who wouldn’t? Please. Stop pushing me so much.” His eyes were almost loving as they shined down at you. His breath was picking up. You could hear the desperation in his voice. 

Those damned eyes were unrelenting in their stare into your own. There was no creature in presence or audacity in heaven like Alastor. You’d never encountered anything like him. 

“Of all the Love you had to take a stray hit from, Mania really was the cruelest accident.” You held your hand at the crook of your neck, wondering if you did more damage. No, if he did more damage.

“Mania? Is that the arrow I caught? How fitting.” His finger pulled down on your bottom lip. You’d seen this movie, you’d been there for these scenes in dorm rooms and under rainy awnings, in darkened beds and sunny fields. You could move, no part of him was actually holding you physically. “Yes, maybe I am obsessed. But whose fault is that? Will you take responsibility for it?” His chest was shaking with every breath. Why didn’t you move? Just walk away. Knock off that touch as you had been doing. You hadn’t noticed how quickly you were breathing, too, until his hand was pulling your chin up and towards his face.

It only came out as a whisper, half said as it was only half meant, “don’t.”

A laugh, “At least pretend you mean it.” 

Your knees came together in some desperate attempt to stop the feeling creeping up your legs and to your lap, “Apologize to Husk.”

“Why would I ever do such a thing?” His breath was so warm on your mouth, face tilted to keep his nose from hitting yours.

“What a terrible reply!” You slid down the wall and slipped under his arms, “If you shadow work your way into this room I will fuck that horny spider on camera just to spite you.” You opened your door, pausing to make sure he was still down the hall, “Angel on Angel, working title.”

Your whole body went slack, the sounds of a wild animal loose in the hallway rocking the door as you took shaky steps to the bed, paintings on the walls rattling as he did unseen damage. Sounds of an unknown, unholy animal raging just past the thin drywall. 

Had you ever seen Mania work so quickly with so little fuel? Hand coming to your mouth, a burning where his finger touched you. 

No one had touched your lips before. No one could ever hope to. Humans were beyond the realm of feeling you, and you didn’t allow kissing with the partners you took in heaven. Personal rule. As in, it was too personal.

The lights in your room flickered, briefly shrouding you in darkness before coming back to life.

Deja vu.

Oh.

What had he introduced himself as? The radio demon? It wasn’t heaven who brought you to the hotel. Of course not. 

No. Obviously not.

ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith , sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re

[zenfilmmaking]

Zen Filmmaking: The Art of No Story

By Scott Shaw

As I state, way too often, there is a rarely a week that goes by that I do not receive questions about (particularly) The Roller Blade Seven, in addition to Max Hell Frog Warrior, Armageddon Blvd., Samurai Vampire Bikers from Hell, Vampire Blvd., Guns of El Chupacabra (which has just been licensed to RiffTrax), and the list goes on and on; you name the Zen Film, I get questions about it. All good! I’m happy to answer, whenever I can. I have had several really good chats about the truth and the realities of the movies and filmmaking in general with some of those people. I also get a lot of question about why don’t I/will I ever do another Roller Blade Seven or Max Hell. Plus, for and from some very astute studiers of the Zen Filmmaking Legacy, I am often asked, will I ever do another story-driven film at all, as I haven’t made a narrative film in about fifteen years?  …And, why did I move away from that style of filmmaking onto the more freeform Non-Narrative Zen Films, that I currently create?

There are a million reasons, of course, all based in my own mind, as I am the artist and the creator of my products. Mostly, it has to do with an ever-evolving freedom of art.

To discuss… I’ve read and heard, ever since I got into the filmmaking game, that the storylines of some of my films don’t make a lot of sense. Whenever I hear or read such a statement, it invokes many amused emotions in me. First of all, if you are saying that, you are not looking too deeply into the story development of that film. But, more importantly, who cares? For those who make such a statement, have you ever even looked into my philosophy about filmmaking and the stories these Zen Films are based upon? If you have, you would have known that one of the primary tenets of Zen Filmmaking is that the stories have already all been told, (so why bother retelling them in a fake-coherent manner), and/or that a story has to be lived before it can be written down. So, allow it to evolve in a natural process, whether it makes sense or not. Look at any of the interviews or discourses I, or Donald G. Jackson, ever gave about Zen Filmmaking, and this premise is made very-very clear. I/we never cared about the story development. It is only used as means and method to create a cinematic work of art revolving around a projected premise. But, that storyline is not essential, in any manner, to the art of that film. Moreover, stop trying to compare a Zen Film to a traditional film. For it is not. It never was intended to be.

What am I saying here? If you are looking for concise story development, a Zen Film is intentionally the wrong place to seek that out. If, on the other hand, you are looking for a visual movement of time and space that peeks into a particular altered reality, this is what you may find in a Zen Film.

I mean really, what does a critic do? Answer: Looks for something to criticize. But, is that a conscious place to live your life from? You may love or hate a piece of art. That’s human nature. But, do your homework before you criticize it. Attempt to truly understand any form of art from the place where it was created, not simply defined by whether you like or dislike it, while seeking out the flaws you feel it possesses.

That’s the thing about Zen, seeking the perfection within the imperfection. 

Each artist presents their own interpretation of art in their own unique manner. And, this goes across all genres of the spectrum of art. Once upon a time, abstract art was new and unique. When seeing it for the first time, it was something totally new and different. Sometimes, so different that even to this day, many people do not like or appreciate it as art. But, loved or hated, it is the expression of that artist’s vision of art. This is the same with film art. My cinematic presentations are defined by the fact that the story does not matter, so stop looking for one.

Therefore, in answer to the question(s), would I ever do another story-driven narrative film? Sure, if I found the inspiration and the people to surround the project with positive energy. But, till that time, it is currently my focus to make the undefined Non-Narrative Zen Film. A space where, obviously and intentionally, the story does not matter. 

You can’t criticize the storyline when there intentionally is no storyline.

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