#this is not a lore post this is just me being a hater
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I love the father figure Dazai headcanons as much as the next guy but please if Dazai was a father he’d be the dad that your mom divorced because he kept cheating on her and he blames her for ruining their marriage in front of you every chance he gets when you’ve never heard her say so much as a mean thing about him to your face.
He has visitation rights every weekend but most weekends you spend sitting out by the curb outside of your house for 6 hours because he said he’d come pick you up and never did so your mom has to eventually tell you to come inside and eat the reheated dinner you rejected an hour ago because you thought you’d eat dinner at dads house. And after you go to bed that night you hear her argue on the phone with him about how you deserve a father figure in your life.
But when you do go over to his house you get to spend the weekend eating nothing but hamburger helper’s, Mac and cheese, and baked beans with boiled hotdogs, you also get to do nothing but sit on the floor next to the one folding chair he owns in front of the milk crate that has his tv and beat up ps4 on it while you watch him play call of duty.
#I thought of this last night while showering so now you all have to see it#bsd#idk#i thought this was funny#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#this is not a serious post#I’m not projecting#i promise#this is not a lore post this is just me being a hater#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#i’m sorry everyone
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Keep thinking about Dungeon Meshi not bc I know anything about it but bc of what I've seen on my for you. Like. I thought Laios was gonna be the cook because he wants to eat all the monsters but I guess that's Senshi??? He really wants to eat a specific soup again and sometimes he has horns and sometimes he doesn't (this is usually tagged "halfling" what is he. I thought he was a goat man. But sometimes he isn't??? Are the horns fake) There's an elf lady and I can never remember her name but she's gay with Laios's sister and always seems annoyed with him but in a hater friends kind of way. Speaking of haters my fucking favorite is the cabbage patch kid that's actually a divorced 47 year old father of three. He's the party rogue and every gene in his body is the Hater Gene. Laios and his sister get turned into birds but then un-birded and this fixes her shitty eyes. I am experiencing this manga/show through random posts on Tumblr and it's delightful. I think I should watch it
Edit: oh my god the horns are just on his hat. Except I forgot he wears a hat so they just got put on his head in my brain. Nvm I've connected the dots
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#i learned about it from one of my favorite artists posting fanart about it#and then liking those changed my for you page#and then senshi was odd and i enjoyed seeing his massive eyes everywhere just O.O#and then i realized the kid was actually just a kid sized grown ass man and an absolute hater#and then i was hooked and then tumblr started showing me lore posts#s/o to that one post that was the panel of chilchuck swearing at laios#and laios lamenting being cursed out in a language he doesnt even know#shoulda reblogged that one i cant stop thinking about it lmao i love him
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IT'S NOT NEW STORY IT'S A FUCKING BATTLE TOWER
#AUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!#PAIN AND MISERY!!!!!!!!!!!#like ok ok. I'm super glad they're adding this to the game don't get me wrong.#I've wanted this for a while cause I genuinely LOVE battling in cassette beasts and hate that post-post game you really only get fusions#but like...so. no new lore?#maybe I'm wrong! maybe there will be some lore added alongside this and they're just being coy about it#I'm still a little bummed though :/#lotta hype for something that arguably should've been in the core game already#whatever I'm just being a hater#also crazy fucking day to release this#I know they're in Britain and all but like#happy Trump election day everyone here's a TRAIN
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I got season one on DVD. Haven't watched yet. Not to be the G3 hater people don't like, cuz truly I'm not, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I watched the live action movie when it first came out. I frankly really didn't like it other than Frankie. I love the original and didn't like all the changes and I still don't like the changes. So, I was already upset once the movie was over. Then the new show had it's premiere. Frankie wasn't voiced by the actor who played Frankie (and I was under the impression that this would be in the same universe as the movie so I was upset) AND THEN Toralei was posh british. That truly was the tipping point for me.
I really want to give this a fair shot because I know I would 100% love it if not for my already huge love of G1. I'm gonna watch this a few times. I know my first time watching this I'll just be a hater going "BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO!" even though my mind and myself understand that this is different from G1. My heart will feel the betrayal and I'm just gonna have to get used to it. I so badly want to like this and I know I will once I jump over that hurdle. I've already seen a few episodes I like aswell.
#This would be so much easier if Toralei didn't have a posh accent. It reads to me as totally the rich mean girl stereotype now.#YOUR HONOUR SHE WAS AN ORPHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Literally I'm only like this because of all the lore that wasn't in the movies that I know about and is now slightly altered.#Seriously. Your honour Draculaura was adopted. Your honour that mummy joke was insensitive because Cleo's mom is dead. Blah blah blah.#The major one of coures being your honour they are Cleo and Deuce and nothing can change that. But I SWEAR I'll get over it.#Eventually.#I just need the time to accept that things have changed.#Saw an old post of mine from when I found out they were rebooting IWTV and I was so upset. I was convinced I wasn't gonna watch it.#I wouldn't be able to even if it was good because I love the movie too much.#But after months of being able to mentally prepare and seeing previews I was able to watch it and I loved it.#Me being a G3 movie hater exrtremo (which won't change with time) really set me back in being able to mentally prepare for the change.#Exposure therapy only works if you are prepared and brother I wasn't prepared for posh accent Toralei.#Monster High#Monster High g3
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while drafting my comic teachers wanted nelly's feelings for cosmo to be more explicit in one direction (either romantic or platonic) and to that i say, simply, it doesnt really matter to the story HOW they love each other, just that they DO. but SECONDLY, it's simply too predictable if an angel-coded alien randomly falls out of the sky and the protagonist immediately falls in love with him. obviously, if it were GOING to happen at all, it would be one thousand times better if the angel-coded alien fell out of the sky and then became smitten with a loser who has the nervous sweats so bad that he walks around half naked on a daily basis and has zero swag. why? um because he was the only person on the entire planet that showed him kindness. DUH!!!!!!!! nervvy nelly is a loser but he is empathetic and has the unrelenting urge to be useful and helpful. cosmo is a chronic loner who has traveled around the universe solo because of his disdain for the lack of kindness he has consistently observed in others. DUH again. even though i cut that tidbit of cosmo lore out of the final cut so how would anyone know that except for me. oopsy. WELL YOU CAN INFER IT! put on your thinking cap
#in reality its not that deep#cosmo and nelly are just guys. if i was going to write a story with truly deep lore i would invent different guys#BUT JUST SAYING#the initial draft had more cosmo lore but someone told me to delete it. honestly true bc it was unnecessary#but i kind of liked it because he was more nuanced... as it stands cosmo lowkey has zero canonical flaws. which irks me#NO ONE should slay that hard. ugh my mind... should have just let me cook#HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HATER THAT LEARNED HOW TO STOP BEING A HATER. but the only reason he was a hater... was because he was actually#a lover... surrounded by haters... until he then became a hater... of said haters. sigh!!!!!!!#i could make a prequel but i have to stop. im neglecting my arsenal of other guys to make comics about. they are begging to be released#anyway sorry for long ass post about a fictional reality its just that making shit up is one of my greatest passions#whats more Making Shit Up than inventing a story. nothing
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aw man, don't even get me started on kiriko. or do, because in the world where both magic and science are known to mess with people and time they could've easily come up with SOME explanation for the age thing but they just... didn't. did they not realize that something was off or did they just not care? there were some plot holes before, some character interactions that maybe didn't straight up contradict each other but felt like the person writing the lines didn't read any of the previous interactions. BUT what they did with kiriko was just... how do you mess up this bad?
like there's writing kinda wonky plot points and the sort but fumbling something as massive as the AGES of your characters when they're pivotal parts of the story like.... not even one or two years off we're talking TEN at most now im no author or even the best story teller but i'd at least make sure my ducks are in a row when it comes to making sure my characters aren't sparring with a zygote
#overwatch#overwatch 2#ask#kiriko#not to be a hater but i also just. do not like kiriko#PLEAAASSSE ignore my post from months ago saying i'd main her i promise i don't know what i was on LVJEALRVJE#LIKE DON'T GET ME WRONG she's fun to play. sometimes.#but there's better options now... for me anyway idk how she is meta wise i dont play like that#i choose my characters strictly on if i like their vibes and there's just something about kiriko's vibes i'm not a fan of#i think it's just because she feels so.. forced? into the shimada lore?#the blame falls on blizzard for being so sloppy with their lore though#i aaain't gonna use this post to drag kiri tho i know people like her.... she just isn't for me and that's ok#i do wish she was handled better though..... there being another person who knew the shimadas could be really interesting#but of course. as we've discussed. blizzard is terrible with their storytelling
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tbh all things considered im at least glad that my discomfort with totk is what really drove me to really discover a lot of the discussion and analysis into the racism and orientalist stuff and... all of that in the zelda series, since i was halfway aware of it in the past but only more recently started to really look into it further and see what others have to say about it
#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#just been thinkin abt this after seeing a few more posts abt the way the gerudo and ganondorf are typically treated#like... im not exactly new to learning about the nastier parts of something i like and moving to enjoying it while being critical of it#i mean at this point being a warrior cats fan is the same as being a warrior cats hater#but since warrior cats' issues is more about the misogyny and ableism that was has always been a bit easier for me to pick up on n stuff#while the racism and like in loz is a bit harder (as a white fan of the series) so im just. glad? that theres a lot out there about these#aspects and im trying to better understand the issues with all of this and why its all bad and stuff#like esp with movie worries and my own writing of the ganonbeck fic wherein ive tweaked some gerudo stuff#like. idk if it was a good move to tweak it so that gerudo males are just very rare rather than 1 per century#like rn i plan on them running into another male gerudo in chapter 2 among some other gerudo to make good on that#and like idk if thats a good tweak to the lore or anything while sticking to most of the shit canon has to offer#idk im just glad that im now more actively learning about this stuff and all of that even if ive maybe been a bit tactless in some tag rant#idk what the point of this is ig im just having a little reflection moment abt whats changed in my knowledge of the series' meta elements#since totk crash landed in my general vicinity
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Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]
Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]
Masterlist
Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?
Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.
yourusername posted on instagram
liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others
tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll
yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐
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user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸
user2 LOL
lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️
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user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!
user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it
user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦♀️
user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨
user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷♀️
user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol
user7 she's so classy a love it!😻
user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?
fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉
fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?
yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!
fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀
yourusername 💀
user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!
user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts
user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭
user12 nah she ain't even that pretty
user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠
user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on
user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd
user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???
user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money
user12 plus she ugly af
user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...
user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter
user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors
user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂
astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍
user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD
user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!
twitter
yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories
yourusername posted on instagram
liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others
tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll
yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆
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astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩
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user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else
astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙
user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters
user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄
user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point
user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger
user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷♀️
user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd
user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...
lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️
yourusername love you baby!!!💞
user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂
user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??
user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake
user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻
user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮
user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!
user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol
user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭
user15 💚💚
user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all
user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀
user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself
user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer
user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦♀️
user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD
user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped
messages between Y/N and Lance
lance_stroll posted on instagram
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tagged: yourusername
lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.
In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.
Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️
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user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓
yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖
lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌
user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up
astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘
user3 i still think it's fake
fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪
user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo
user5 That's how you shut them up xd
fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER
user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭
user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭
f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏
user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here
user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷♀️
lilymhe pretty giiiirl
lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️
yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing
user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!
liked by yourusername
user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂
user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm
user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢
chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰
liked by the author and yourusername
yourusername 🥰🥰
user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!
yourusername posted on instagram
liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others
tagged: lance_stroll and dior
yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️
comments have been limited
lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption
liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial
lilymhe also alex_albon me when??
dior Wow!❤️🔥
lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.
yourusername daaammn baby
lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌
kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍
yourusername anytime you want!!!💕
astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚
fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin
astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??
yourusername aaah let him have his moment
fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED
yourusername 🫢
THE END
Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!
#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll#fanfiction#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#fernando alonso#x reader#social media au#social media fic#formula one#fanfic#couple#rich couple#aesthetic#kelly piquet#lily muni he#aston martin#aston martin f1#social media#instagram#twitter#text messages#sebastian vettel#chloe stroll#strollonso#f1 fic#dior
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode eight :: GOOD DAYS
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n (barely), multiple x y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔it’s a good day to be y/n, to be a y/n stan and a red bull hater.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ hot dilfs, none.
y/n
♡ liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lewishamilton and 6,204,305 others.
y/n singapore gp ft. george stealing my phone and queen alexandra doing god’s work 😮💨
tagged: georgerussell63, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmdundt, pierregasly, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, landonorris, carlossainz55, mercedesamgf1
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y/n
♡ liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 9,294,293 more.
y/n ‘is there someone else/starry eyes’ 🎬 mv & behind the scenes are both out now 💐 had the absolute pleasure and honour of working with my closest best friends and literal soulmates on this one and they looked like princesses ⭐️💗 can’t be happier than this 🫧 love u to death!!! directed by me btw >:)
tagged: francisca.cgomes, carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe.
5,394,294 comments.
username ATEEEEEEEE SLAYEDDDDD DEVOUREDDDDDD
y/l/nestate that “directed by y/n y/l/n” brought tears to our eyes 🥹 so proud ⭐️
username MOTHERRRRRRRR
jensonbutton easily the most beautiful video on the internet
➜ username SIR.
➜ username this is so.
➜ username i don’t even know what say.
➜ username OH MY GOD.
username BARKING LIKE A DOG
username they’re 😭 so 😭 gorgeous
pierregasly can’t believe kika got to be in a video before me
➜ francisca.cgomes hater.
➜ username TEARSSSS
username THE GIRLS HUGGING DURING THE “you were there when i needed someone” BROKE MEEEEE 💔💔💔💔💔
theweeknd this is an absolute cinematic masterpiece
username MYYYYY MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS
landonorris this barbie is my mother.
➜ username OUR mother*
➜ landonorris MINE. i do NOT share 🤺
charles_leclerc beautiful girls
charles_leclerc directed 😭 by 😭 y/n 😭 y/l/n
��� username HE IS SO ME
➜ username me 🫱🏽🫲🏾 charles
➜ username my honest reaction 😭
charles_leclerc my bestie did that
➜ username HE’S SUCH A Y/N STAN I LOVE HIM
➜ username REALLLL
username MA’AM TWITTER IS BURNING HOW ARE YOU SO CHILL????
username how are you everywhere doing everything all at once ?????
username wait weren’t you JUST in singapore???
username YOU ARE A GENIUS Y/N Y/L/N
lewishamilton doll
➜ username OH??????
➜ username SIR LEWIS.
➜ username what the fuck is in the singapore air werent they just being all shy and awkward while giving each other hugs???
➜ username and now he’s flirting????
➜ username openly????
➜ username genuinely what’s in the water he drank there???
aussiegrit my eyes were blessed
➜ username WOAHHHHH THERE MARK
➜ username CAN WE PLS SLOW THE FUCK DOWN
➜ username what the FUCK is this crossover
➜ username it’s leaving me speechless.
username ARE WE JUST GONNA MOVE PAST THE FACT THAT THE DILFS ARE IN THE COMMENTS?????
arianagrande love u forever
username ICONIQUE
username slayed the house beyond repair
sebastianvettel mesmerising
➜ username OH ITS DILF CENTRAL TONIGHT.
➜ username SEB????
➜ username passing away. WHAT.
username MOTHER
username I LITERALLY CANT RN
francisca.cgomes genuinely still can’t believe this happened
alex_albon this is my favourite thing ever 🤍
carlossainz55 i want to live in that video
georgerussell63 my roman empire
lilymhe I WAS IN A Y/N MUSIC VIDEO!!!! IM A PART OF THE LORE.
username IM SO????????
alexandrasaintmleux still violently sobbing
carmenmmundt i love you beyond words
username IS THIS A DISTRACTION??? BC ITS WORKING.
username this video is so 🎀💐🫧🤍⭐️🎬💘🩰 core
username I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD BE HERE, ON TWT, OR YOUTUBE I LITERALLY CANT RN
username I CANT.
#f1 x y/n#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 x you#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#lando norris x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#max verstappen x reader#pierre gasly x reader#jenson button x reader#mark webber x reader#sebastian vettel x reader
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DEBUNK OF TIT FORSHADOWING
hello! i promised a recap and debrief of all the times dip and pip teased what happens in the terrible influence show, so here it goes, brace yourself 'cause it's gonna be a long one
GENERAL REMARKS
so i started with the videos posted during the summer, since they were rehearsing the show during that time. i might go further back if this post does well (they said they've been writing for six/seven months and they were already teasing during dan's birthday stream). anyway, there were some recurring hints that i'm gonna get out of the way now:
a LOT of emphasis on the fact that it's been nearly 15 years of dan and phil (cough cough, reminds me of phil's infamous inconsistant line about their anniversary coming up in octodecember, cough cough)
a lot of ancient lore being introduced by 'the year was 2009/2011/2015', which is generally reminiscent of the recap at the beginning of the show, and most are the actual years featured in that segment of the show
they acknowledged 'we are ph-', which they also use in the show i.e. the phouse, the phortgage, the pheal, the phitchen, etc.
they are SO aware of the moms/dads/straight boyfriends that we have forced dan and phil onto, they kept asking us to bring them and they acknowledge them several time in the show
DNP GOING AWAY Q&A (1st Sep.)
strong emphasis on the haitus (reminiscent of phil's dramatic haitus microphone moments)
say they might adress the japhan wedding conspiracy (which they do!)
the nude colored briefs (are for sister daniel)
at 2:45, phil says 'gay' and the rainbow light and sound effect happen just like in the show
dan mentions red flags (might be far fetched but reminded me of the green flags/red flags of lawyer!dan and doctor!phil)
phil says cunt (like in the show)
'no but seriously imagine it'
phil broke a rib during repetition of 'some kind of stunt event' (during the boxing/wrestling match)
they spent $300 on silicon for 'full body character transformation onesie' for 'a perfectly unsexual moment of the show' (read: phil wears fake abs while pretending not to have sex with dan on stage)
Dan: 'you're not a 365 party girl? terrible influence when you're bumping that?' (charli xcx is on the preshow playlist and it teases the terrible song)
reveal of the 'dan and phil made me gay' T-shirt, teasing of the sweatshirt and black tour T-shirt
DATE NIGHT WITH DNP (25th Aug.)
dan sings muder on the dancefloor (which is on the preshow playlist)
dan going 'ohmygod they SHARE CLOTHES' (one of the conspiracies addressed in the show)
WRITING PHAN FICTION ABOUT OURSELVES (19th Aug.)
it's a fill-in-the-blanks game, as they do multiples times in the show (okay, not really foreshadowing as they've done this in all of their shows, but i think it was a way to introduce this to the newer audience maybe)
MrBeast mention
DNP REACT TO TATINOF (16th Aug.)
phil: 'fall out boy! my chemical romance! the shipping had started!' (basically all the ingredients of the no seriously imagine it post)
'if we asked people to confess stuff now it would be so much worse' 'the tone might be different' & 'and if you come to our show, there might be a different tone' (so... confess your sins to sister daniel, need i say more)
#spon (which is now #ad in the terrible song)
'i went to see dan and phil and all i got was this lousy plate' (EXCUSE ME DAN??? he was basically spoiling the merch two weeks in advance) (this is the moment that inspired me this post btw)
dan 'professional hater' howell is now the one starting the song in tit
'imagine that but 2025. we're old. we're gay. phil can say fuck' (and indeed, he says fuck)
DNP PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS (11th Aug.)
they wear the matching 'precious baby angel' t-shirts (same phrase used to describe phil in the show)
DNP DRESS EACH OTHER (14th July)
Phil: 'like two Kens playing with Kens' (i bet pj was crafting the little rooms and the little dolls at this point)
they both have mesh shirts as the main show outfits
'how booty are the shorts, dan?' 'i'm not gonna bend over in these things'.... except for the photocards that feature your ass in those shorts!
the two first look (emo!phil and beach!dan), the white cowboy hat, phil's blue and purple bomber jacket are all featured in the photocards sold at the show
DNP MASSIVE MUKBANG 2 (5th July)
'we've been doing this since 2009 and 2006 *excerpt from phil's first videoblog*' (that's literally the opening of the show)
'we reclaim what Dan and Phil is in 2024'
'we’re gonna look at what YouTube is like in 2024, how do we fit in, we’re gonna be taking shots at people'
'we’re gonna spill some things that would have sent you into cardiac arrest seven years ago' (2024-7=2017. so basically any of the conspiracies they adress from that time, like the tour bus, vegas, etc.)
'we’re gonna go full theater kids' (oooh teasing the musical number already)
'what do people want? Series mystery hunting, lifestyle cooking, real life, get a dog, domestic' (that's basically all the things they try on stage)
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Jujutsu Kaisen Lore Headcanons for "Toji Lives/Megumi Cock Blocks Toji" AU
Warning: Female/Afab! Reader, Author(me) being a really fucking annoying narrator, Swearing, Inaccuracy to the anime and manga, Things that don't make sense but are trying to, Switching between reader and you, Mentions of OCs but reader is not one, Reader is highkey a marysue/OP
!!Disclaimer!!: These are my PERSONAL headcanons, thoughts, and opinions on how Toji would be like if he was alive and would act after the Hidden Inventory arc. Or how the events of Jujutsu Kaisen would be different b/c of reader and Toji being alive. These headcanons also explain Reader’s role and place in this AU how her presence changes many things.
Series: Jujutsu Kaisen
Pairing: Toji x Mama!/Fem!Reader
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 5.5k words
Summary: Headcanons for the “Toji lives”/”Megumi cock blocks Toji” AU, and Mom!Reader being a part of and affects each timeline.
(A/N: I will have a separate post that will further explain the Shibuya arc and post Shibuya onwards with the “Toji lives” AU very soon! I know I said I'll have some posts ready after my lastest one but I was having fun and enjoying myself with the holidays that I kinda forgot about them. I promise I'll upload those posts within January! I apologize for my inconsistency!) [!!Unedited and not proof-read as of December 31 2023 12:05am!!]
General Reader Headcanons:
Reader is roughly around 33-34 during the Plasma Star Vessel arc(Year: 2006). Reader is also around her mid 40s (45-46) in present day Jujutsu Kaisen. Toji is roughly around the same age.
Reader’s technique is exclusive towards her, but the only time someone shared a technique like hers was during the Heian Era/Time Period where one of her ancestors is said to have the exact technique like hers but with personal different methods.
Reader hates the Jujutsu elders and higher ups for the schemes they have brewed. One which ultimately caused the Japanese faction of her clan to dwindle in size when she was around 8 years old. Reader is a certified hater of the elders and higher ups of Jujutsu Society, it runs in the family.
Reader's sorcerer grade is officially recognized to be around Semi-grade 1 to Grade 1 sorcerer. But in actuality, Reader is classified as a Special Grade sorcerer b/c of the rarity, nature, power, and versatility of the technique itself.
Reader is a mentor/motherly figure to Satoru. You are the closest thing Satoru has to a parent/guardian so Satoru favors you over many adults/older people.
Reader is considered a part-time sorcerer as she holds down a full time job in the real world after graduating. This is mostly due to her not wanting to be at the beck and call of the higher ups and Jujutsu Elders doing their bidding, but occasionally does help and do favors for certain people like Yaga. She only became a part-time Jujutsu High teacher shortly before the Hidden Inventory Arc.
Reader met Toji around her early 20s when he freshly exiled himself from the Zen’in clan. She ran into him during a favor she was doing for Yaga. She was on a retrieval mission to get a curse tool for Jujutsu High’s inventory. On her way to the location, she was ambushed by a curse. Before she could exorcize it, the curse sputtered and coughed up its blood as a blade pierced its chest and it dropped dead. With no curse energy, Reader was prepared to fight only to see a strongly built man with a small scar on his lips. She meets Toji, and funny enough he had the curse weapon she was looking for. She was trying to negotiate with him to get the weapon. She didn’t have to for long as Toji just straight up gave it to her and said, “You’re a feisty one, aren’t you? I’ll give it to you because you’re cute. Until I see you again, Ms. Sorcerer~.”
Then Reader randomly runs into Toji both on assignments and in real life. It was at random but in a consistent way. Eventually, Toji starts living with Reader because he is lowkey homeless. Reader first fell for Toji but Toji fell HARD for Reader. Always accompanying her when she has to run errands. Always watching out for her and in the shadows. Hell, he started asking Shui for information on certain people to make sure you’re not getting yourself into trouble. He also starts asking Shui for better paying jobs that he could do in a day then take a few days to complete.
Toji falls hard because of Reader’s understanding and compassion towards him and his past, which she was more than understanding of his feelings towards the Zen’in clan for their god awful mistreatment and ostracized Toji from Jujutsu Society. Yet he couldn’t understand why you had tears in your eyes when you pulled him in for a hug, saying that you’ll be his family now and he can rely on you. Thus, that’s when Toji said, “I need to fucking marry this woman or I swear to God I will assassinate every sorcerer in the world.”
After a few years, Reader and Toji get married and Toji takes Reader’s two last names: (L/N) Fushiguro. Fushiguro wasn’t originally a part of Reader’s last name, but decided to take it up as an alias when Reader briefly left Jujutsu society to live among non-sorcerers. The last name came from a distant relative a few generations back that was married into the family.
After around 29, Toji and Reader had Tsumiki. Then a year later, they had Megumi at 30.
Though your place is small, it was homey and cozy for your little family. Life was good until the year where Tsumiki turns 4 and Megumi turns 3. Toji started having missions where he was coming home less and less frequently. It was starting to bother you because he was starting to miss out on Tsumiki and Megumi growing up. More so, it was devastating to you when Megumi told you he could barely remember anything of Toji, he even faintly describes Toji’s looks but it is starting to get foggy.
It was becoming hard to support your daughter and son on your own, so when Toji came home one night you told him your thoughts. Then an argument happened, not a loud one to wake up the kids, but you were putting Toji in his place. Toji was trying to justify that it was his work and they have been demanding him recently, that it was the good of your family as they were paying him more money to do them. This was when you started questioning Toji’s occupation and what he does. Toji gets irritated about you questioning his line of work and tries to repeat again that it was for the sake of your family and nothing more.
However, Reader is unaware that Toji made a deal with the Zen’in clan to sell off Megumi when he’s around 5-6. He couldn’t tell you this because he knew how you would react so he was going to keep it a secret for the time being. However, he would never tell after the argument the two of you had.
The next thing you know, Toji drops an envelope on the kitchen table and grabs his packed duffle bag as he heads towards the door. You tried to stop him but he says that he needs to leave for a while but he promises he will be back. Kisses reader on the lips and forehead before leaving their apartment.
Reader is hurt and confused until she opens the envelope to see a check that’s already signed. It has $5000 dollars in it. It would last you at most 5 weeks for you and your children. Yet, that was the only check received from Toji as he went completely off the grid. No amount of resources would amount in a helpful way to finding what happened to your husband.
That was when reader was assigned an important mission for the first time in years. Where you and another teacher, Maho(JJK OC) would act as guardians/chaperones to Gojo and Geto. Your jobs were to oversee and supervise the two students and report anything about the mission.
“Toji lives”/ “Megumi cockblocks Toji” AU:
So basically in this AU, not only does Toji live. But mostly everyone else does live, or somewhere along the lines of dead and alive. Well, minus Junpei and Mai. But that’s just me being blissfully ignorant of the canon timeline and canceling most of the events out and just changing them.
So everything in the Plasma Star Vessel arc happens but the only thing that changes is Riko and Kuroi being alive. The way that it happens is you were sent ahead to do some investigating of the Jujutsu High area to see if it’s safe. Then out of nowhere, you were asked to speak to Tengen themself. Unbeknownst to you, you were unaware that Toji, your estranged husband, had attacked Gojo which forced Geto, Riko, Kuroi, and Maho(JJK OC) to run and leave Gojo to fight him.
You were basically told by Tengen to respect the last wishes of Riko Amanai before they merged. But they popped that statement out, you responded with, “what if her last wish is to continue on living and not merge?” At first, Tengen opposed you for your question. Saying it would throw off the balance of their stabilization and balance of Jujutsu Society. However, you countered by saying it’s respecting Riko’s wish and the girl's wish to keep on living. Meaning that technically you’re honoring her wish and you believed that she deserved to live her life.
Plus you argued that there are few Plasma Star Vessels out there, like Yuki Tsukumo, who didn’t merge with Tengen are completely fine. And Tengen didn’t suffer from not merging with her or the other vessels. So after some thought, Tengen briefly allowed Riko to live and not merge with her. However, in exchange, you would have to find a substitute host in place of Riko. While it wouldn’t be the same, Tengen said it would be easier to merge with another host that had curse energy or was a Jujutsu Sorcerer.
Meanwhile, Geto, Kuroi, and Maho escort Riko in front of Tengen’s chamber. For a bit, Geto offers Riko a choice to leave with Maho and him. To not merge and live her life out. Riko expresses this but before she could allow Geto to take her hand, Maho gets shot in the throat. The bullet was meant for Riko but Maho’s change in positioning took the hit for her instead unintentionally. Toji reveals himself from the shadows and says he’ll take Riko dead or alive. Geto tells Riko and Kuroi to run while Geto fights Toji with Maho supporting him the best that she can after learning Toji killed Satoru.
Suguru and Maho get defeated while Kuroi is knocked out by Toji and takes Riko to the Time Vessel association. You come out of the chamber to only find Geto and Maho bleeding out, you take them to the infirmary and have Shoko heal them. Suguru tells you that a man with no curse energy ambushed them, killed Satoru, and took Riko. ‘Wait, a curseless man? But. . . that can’t be’ You snapped out of it and left Suguru to find Gojo’s body to take back. You found where you assumed you would find his body but all you would find was a large blood smear on the pavement. So you went to find Riko in the association. What you didn’t know is that Gojo beat you to it. You snuck in and when they were about to kill Riko, you snatched her away and brought her back to Jujutsu High. However, you asked Riko about Gojo’s whereabouts. She said she last saw him fight a tall man with a small scar on his right lip. Your blood runs cold as you continue to drag her towards the school. She didn’t understand why you stopped talking, but the look of fear on your face told her something.
As Gojo and Toji duke it out for the second time, it was Suguru that caused Satoru to misfire his Hollow Purple at Toji and narrowly missed him. Toji knew that he lost the fight because he would’ve died if he got hit. Let alone, get defeated one-way or another. Since Suguru told Gojo that Riko’s retrieval was a success, Toji knew he wouldn’t get paid for the job and just gave up. He, surprisingly, surrendered himself to the two and was taken to an underground bunker where Toji was heavily sealed and chained up. Doesn’t even bother fighting back at all. Though the mission was a technical success, Tengen didn’t merge with the chosen vessel and there was a sorcerer killer on the premises of the school.
Since you were in charge of the mission and the only one uninjured, you were held accountable and take full responsibility for what has happened. The Higher-ups and Elders were not happy, to say the least, with the results. But specifically that you allowed the rest to get hurt and let Tengen’s vessel free, ceasing the merging. However, they weren’t on Reader’s ass for the first two. They were mostly on her ass because they discovered the identity of the sorcerer killer is Toji. And somehow figured out Reader’s marriage with him. Because of this, they were going to execute Toji and put Reader on trial.
This was also the moment reader’s suspicions were right with Toji doing all of this. She was going through the ringer of emotions when revealed the information in the same room with the very people she despised. So she kept to herself and remained calm. She proposed a deal to them that she knew they would consider. In exchange for Toji’s life and freedom, the reader gave these conditions:
Toji’s weapons would be heavily sealed and hidden away where no one can obtain them. Their whereabouts will be unknown and Reader and a select few would know about the location.
Toji cannot enter Jujutsu Society/High without Reader. For at least a year, Toji can’t be near any sorcerer or enter any Jujutsu building. Reader is essentially Toji’s handler and responsibility. Toji has to be with Reader at all times when on Jujutsu Premises.
If Toji acts out of line, he will be immediately executed. Reader will also be executed or exiled from Jujutsu Society. However, if Reader dies, Toji will be executed. If Toji somehow dies, Reader would be somewhat safe. But if Reader dies, Toji will die with her. Reader’s life is in the hands of Toji’s behavior and actions. While Reader’s entire life and existence is the reason why Toji lives and her dying means he dies too.
These conditions were simple enough but the higher ups were still doubtful. But Reader also adds that after a year, Toji could go on missions if it involved a reward. Mentioning that Toji would be a vital asset to them and keeping him on house arrest wouldn’t be ideal. Reader tells the higher ups that Toji was exiled from the Zen’in clan years ago and would only listen to her. She implies that Toji could wreak havoc on Jujutsu society if it wasn’t for her.
With reluctance, the higher ups agreed to Reader’s terms but warned she would be on a watchlist. Reader just waves it off. Yet after she leaves the room and goes outside, the weight of her emotions get the best of her and she cracks under it all. This was a lot of process and bear but she was the only one to do this.
Strangely enough, a distant relative of reader’s contacted her about moving into an old home of theirs. No prices or charges, they just needed to give the house to her since they were moving back into the clan’s main residence. Reader was like okay, thanks for the free house. Since there wasn’t much at the old apartment, they didn’t need to pack much.
Once Satoru and Suguru were healed up, Reader tasked the two of them to bring Megumi and Tsumiki to the dorms temporarily until the house was ready and Reader dealt with Toji. Satoru may or may not have slipped about Megumi’s true heritage, causing Suguru to bonk him on the head. Megumi doesn’t want to go with the two men but after telling him and his sister that Raeder sent for them, he and his sister followed them.
Reader basically was taken to where her husband was held. She only had less than an hour to talk to him so she had to speedrun their talk and leave some things out. It was strange to her to see her husband, the notorious sorcerer killer, chained up and not fighting his restraints. It looked like he hadn’t eaten in days and the color in his eyes was dulled out. But when you entered the chamber and made your presence known, he perked up because he recognized your footsteps.
As much you wanted to comfort and coddle him, you were furious and beyond disappointed with him. Toji admits his faults and was okay with dying. During which he reluctantly revealed to Reader that he sold Megumi to the Zen’in clan for his technique. With this newfound information, Reader is heartbroken and slaps Toji square in the face. Though she didn’t want to, he did deserve it. So Reader explains the conditions she made to grant Toji his freedom and life back, if he so chooses. Or he can get executed, the choice is his.
Toji doesn’t deserve a second chance but Reader offered one to him. While putting herself and life at risk for a bum who ended up abandoning his family. Reader said he can clean himself up, to step up as a husband and father. The only term she was willing to give Toji if he chooses to come back. In a way, Reader was giving signals to Toji that she still needs him and doesn’t want him to die. Toji thinks about it. He would be restricted to being at home and the outside world, while being on a leash by Reader when entering Jujutsu Society which he doesn’t mind the thought of.
Toji makes his decision by agreeing to the conditions while also promising to pull himself up. Although it made you smile, it disappeared when you remember how your children would react to seeing their absent father again and trying to adjust to his constant presence. Toji said he’ll try his best, but he wouldn’t guarantee Megumi and Tsumiki’s approval. But it didn’t matter to him because his family needs him and he would damn to waste his second chance knowing many don’t get any.
So it was settled. Toji is freed because of Reader with the somewhat of an approval from the Higher-ups, the house was ready to move with the kiddos, and everything was starting to set in motion. It was a hard adjustment for the kids in this new chapter of their life. Moving into a new, nicer, and bigger home than the previous smaller apartment was a big change. Another big change was seeing their father for the first time in almost months. Tsumiki was a little happy to see Toji back at home with them but Megumi was different. In fact, he was indifferent about Toji’s return and tried to completely ignore him. You and Toji completely understand Megumi’s feelings about his dad suddenly popping up again out of nowhere after months of not coming home. You reassured your son that Toji’s staying for good and that it’s okay for him to not accept his dad's presence right away or force himself to.
It wasn’t what it used to be but Reader didn’t mind it. Since Toji was on house arrest in the meantime, he was on house-husband duty. Since you were now working as a full-time Jujutsu teacher(2nd-3rd year teacher) and Sorcerer, you were away from home a lot during the morning and afternoons. Toji struggled in the beginning but he really managed and became good at it. He was an excellent cook, cleaner, errand runner, and even handyman. You still handled the money but Toji never asked you for more than what was needed. He started picking up Megumi and Tsumiki from school, making the other parents drool over him. He honestly likes the domestic aspect of this part of his life, something he never imagined when he was younger.
You knew it was bad but you asked Satoru a big favor. Since Megumi’s sale to the Zen’in clan was still up, you asked Satoru to postpone it or intervene in a way. Reader would have the power but her clan faction isn’t what it used to be and the Zen’in clan hates her guts for marrying Toji. Satoru agrees to help but it would mean that he would have partial guardianship over Megumi. That was fine with you but explaining this to your young son would be hard, considering he will be training and spending some of his time with one of his mother’s student.
Satoru and Suguru become older brother figures to the kids and Shoko being a big sister. They would come to your house to visit just to see the kids. It was challenging at the start since Toji was there and a constant reminder of their weakness. But you talked with them about it, saying that they don’t have to care for your husband and hate him all they want. But never hate the children. This was helpful to Suguru since Riko and Kuroi were living on Jujutsu Tech grounds as a safety precaution since there were still hits on Riko. You also noticed Suguru's depression while soul-searching. You always told him that you considered him family and let him know to come to you for help when he needs it.
Reader is the sole reason Suguru hasn’t fallen to the dark-side and became a curse user. However, he and Satoru almost became one a year later.
A year after the Hidden Inventory incident, Nanami and Haibara were sent on a mission to exorcize a grade 2 curse. You accompanied them because you knew the area better and felt the need to watch the students. However, the information was completely wrong as the curse they were facing was a grade 1 curse that manipulated the earth and surroundings. While Nanami and Haibara had minimal to mild injuries, you were badly injured and bleeding everywhere. While you were able to exorcize the curse, you were hanging on by a thread because your main priority was the safety of the two students. Though you were healed, you did have a faint scar and you were out from doing missions for about a couple of months. Highkey traumatized the two students because their teacher was about to be murdered and they couldn’t do anything about it.
What they didn’t know was that the mission was a ploy to have Reader be assassinated while carelessly adding kids to the mix. All done by the Higher-ups and encouragement of the Zen’in clan. The only reason this information was spilled out was Toji was visiting you in the infirmary and his super hearing heard a low grade Zen’in sorcerer spill it out. He, along with Satoru and Suguru, forced the sorcerer to spill anything they knew. The sorcerer revealed that Reader had been on a watchlist and knew she was dangerous to them so they tried making her death a tragic accident. Surprisingly, Toji and Satoru had this moment of truce between each other. It was interesting to Suguru because both of the two men hate each other’s guts but decided to work together if it involved you. They would’ve stormed in and decimated the Higher-ups and Zen’in clan, which Suguru didn’t mind.
It was Shoko that retrieved them, saying that you were awake and wanted to talk to them. The three begrudgingly made their way to your room. Reader essentially argues that going on a killing spree would make them curse users, they are just tools for the higher-ups and would turn on them at any given chance. She reminds them that if Toji kills in Jujutsu Society, she would die or be completely exiled and Toji would be immediately executed. Leaving her children all alone with both parents gone and possibly dead. Reader admits she wants to change Jujutsu society and take down the current higher-ups and dismantle the old system. But she doesn’t want to drag Tsumiki and Megumi into the mix, especially since Megumi possesses a technique that has been sought after for centuries.
This weighed on the four of them as Reader continued to talk. It doesn’t help that if they do succeed in killing the higher-ups, not many people would follow behind them, like the big three families. She advises that they need to wait, which she is aware that time won’t change anything. But something needs to happen in order for the change to happen and work in their favor. Suguru understands but doesn’t really agree because keeping them around for longer will just continue what’s happening. Reader points out that if they kill the current higher-ups now, possibly the worst people would take their place. A greater evil replacing a mild evil, pick your poison.
The men don’t go through with the killing but are on legit bad terms with the higher-ups. Toji couldn’t give two fucks about them and the Zen’in clan, but he loves you so he’ll abide to your rules. Similar to Toji, Satoru is the same. He does have the power to do all of this, he knows it would put many people at risk. Suguru was the only one who was conflicted about it, they could do it now so why wait for later? But Suguru is only doing this for his friend and you, not for Jujutsu Society.
Reader is aware of Suguru’s breaking point with what’s been going on. She tries to help but knows Suguru has to make that choice to reach out for help as well. He has been sent on mission after mission, breaking him down even more. One night when you were still on mission leave, there was a knock on the door. Opening it revealed Suguru holding two twin girls in his arms. After dragging him inside, giving the girls Tsumiki’s old clothes, patching him up, and making him tea, you asked what on Earth happened? Anxiety gnawing away as you assumed the worst. Then Suguru explained the situation, his latest mission in a village where he found the mistreated twins by the villagers. He didn’t kill them, to your relief, but he was mad and angry how non-sorcerer people could be more cruel than them. These are the people they were supposed to protect and save but they pull off the most heinous crimes, putting a hit on Riko then torturing these innocent girls.
You didn’t deny Suguru was right, why protect non-sorcerers when they have the ability to be as cruel as the curse spirits they fight? But it was not about being the better person and letting them get away with it, no. It was about would it be worth it in the end for Suguru to kill off random humans who they’ll never see again? The village was remote as it is. So for torturing the girls, Jujutsu tech and other Jujutsu sorcerers weren’t allowed to do assignments for the village. Leaving the villagers vulnerable to curse attacks and incidents. While it still was a bad decision to leave them to fend for themselves, you couldn’t let Suguru go on a killing spree.
So Reader helps Suguru take care of the twins along with Satoru and Shoko. The twins had a hard time adjusting but got used to living with Suguru as their guardian/dad. The Twins grow up with Tsumiki and Megumi as they would have play dates and hangout with each other whenever they were at Reader’s home or Reader brings Megumi and Tsumiki to Jujutsu Tech.
With that, Suguru and Gojo become teachers at Jujutsu High. Shoko became a doctor, Yaga became the principal of the school, Haibara is a full-time sorcerer while Nanami left the Jujutsu World after he graduated but eventually returned a couple years later. You still teach at the school but more of a substitute teacher and only going on retrieval and investigating missions.
During this time, you tried your best with your children to mend their relationship with Toji. While Megumi took a little longer than Tsumiki, they recognized that their father was staying and not leaving anytime soon. The household was a lot healthier because of that, putting Tsumiki and Megumi in a better mental state. With Megumi having developed his curse technique, Satoru trains him and spends time with him after school to help him better understand his technique. Though you do help your son, it seems like Satoru had teachings that stick with him more. Megumi recognizes Satoru’s presence, though annoyed for the most part, and sees him as an older brother figure but he’ll never admit it. Toji is more involved with his kids' lives as they get older, making up for their earlier years. They have good figures in their lives, making their lives better. While Megumi still has that surface-level brooding antisocial personality, it’s credited to him being an introvert and picking up bits of Toji’s personality.
Though Toji and Megumi’s relationship got better over the years, they have their little banter moments here and there. It was more for annoyance and teasing between the two. You allow it to happen only if it’s meant to be a joke and not a cruel insult disguised as a joke. Sometimes Tsumiki intervenes but you tell her that’s how Megumi and Toji show their love for each other. Especially when Megumi gets older and doesn’t show his vulnerability as much compared to when he was younger. Megumi grew to appreciate his dad more and Toji values from what his two children have taught him.
With the events of JJK 0, since Geto is alive and a non-curse user, let’s just say that the villain who attacked Jujutsu High was Kenjaku but in a different body of a powerful person. So Reader meets Yuta and the other first years and is shocked to see a Zen’in with no technique. She makes personal note of this while also helping Satoru and Suguru teach them. Reader was also there for the attack that took place on Christmas Eve, which pissed her off because she was supposed to be at home with her family but some powerful bozo wanted to conquer and see the whole world in shambles. Nanami and Haibara were serving on the battlefield. Gojo was literally giving hands to Miguel while Suguru was helping in exorcizing and stockpiling curses.
Kenjaku gets heavily injured and flees the scene, proclaiming that this wouldn’t be the last time they would see him. So after convincing forcing Miguel to come to your side, Reader and Satoru sent Yuta with him to Africa in hopes of finding more of the curse rope Miguel’s clan makes.
Meanwhile sometime later, Megumi was of age to go to Jujutsu Tech. He had a lot of resistance from you to not go there, let alone be a sorcerer. But Gojo talked with you and convinced you that Megumi would become a better sorcerer if he went. Yet it meant dorming at the school and Reader was reluctant about it. But when Megumi showed interest and talked to you about it, you agreed to it but it meant that Satoru would be responsible for his well-being during school hours. Toji also was on Megumi’s side, saying the boy needs to spread his wings and kick ass. Plus Tsumiki will be home too. He’s becoming a young man and you hate to admit it but your husband has a point.
Also in this AU, Tsumiki doesn’t get cursed and goes into a coma. Long story short, you had a gut feeling that something bad was gonna happen. But it wasn't like the air shifted or felt different. Nah, you had this impending doom and you felt so sick that Toji was concerned for you. When Tsumiki left for the bridge, Toji secretly followed after her and saved her just in time. However, one of her friends ended up getting cursed instead. Tsumiki feels guilty but Toji explained about your concern for her safety which is why he went.
Everything still happens as per usual. Megumi meets Yuji, Yuji eats Sukuna’s fingers, Yuuji becomes Sukuna’s vessel, Megumi, Nobara, and Yuuji become a team, etc.
Megumi never really mentions Reader/You, his dad, or sister to Yuji and Nobara because they never asked him. But also, he still is a well-reserved person and doesn’t let information like that slip, especially what he knows about Reader’s status in the Jujutsu Society.
Yuji and Nobara don’t meet Reader/you until after the Kyoto exchange event because Reader/You were in Hokkaido for a bit. But let’s say Reader/You were not pleased with the treatment of Yuji and the Jujutsu Tech students from Kyoto. Todo gets a pass but he’s the only one, Miwa does but she’s a different story.
Reader brings up Maki to Toji and Toji seems interested to see another person that’s very similar to him. Reader brings Toji to school and this is one of the times he is actually well-behaved and watches from afar as he sees the second-years train. He observes Maki quietly as you await his response. Toji just stands up, saying there’s another foil to the Zen’in clan’s plans before leaving the school grounds with you.
Toji does go on missions for Jujutsu Tech but he’s not considered a sorcerer. He’s very similar to Mei Mei in terms of only doing a job if it bleeds money. Due to his Celestial Restriction, he is sent on more dangerous missions. But he doesn’t mind because the paycheck he gets is a fat one that could provide for a year for your household.
Now with the Shibuya Arc, it will be completely different with Toji being alive and an ally. Though tragedy and destruction will occur in Shibuya and afterwards, Toji’s being alive does change the tides against Kenjaku and his evil plan. This is also where Reader starts doing her own thing and pulls some strings that’ll help the main cast. Even if it’s not on legal terms.
#x reader#dad!toji#fem reader#jjk megumi#jjk toji#reader insert#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#itadori yuuji#nobara kugisaki#geto suguru#jjk suguru#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#jjk yuuji#x female reader#reader x character#jjk spoilers#jjk ocs#jujutsu kaisen oc
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long post: the neck kisses playlist on joel's spotify is about jimmy (and kind of etho too a little bit)
it's not actually about jimmy it very much is not about jimmy. however I had visions when I listened to it and I know at least one person really wants me to put this into words so
"I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore" is a pretty straightforward song about Awsten Knight's post-break-up life as well as his frustrations with his fanbase.
The feelings post-break-up are described as freeing, hence the title ".. don't wanna die anymore" but the ending of the song hints at some nagging regret despite that, with the desperate repeating mantra of "but I think it's fine, it's cool"
While I don't think all of these songs signify chronology (and some I don't think are literal at all unless c!Joel has some weird daddy issue lore I'm unaware of), I do like to think the start of the playlist calls to pre-3L jimmy/joel, most specifically their relationship in x-life.
In x-life, Joel establishes a totally-not-cult religion he dubs "Jeremyism", Jimmy being his first member after he fails to trick Lizzie into joining. He later gives up his leader title, quote, "for content". Jimmy is unhappy with this development and begs Joel to stay, but Joel refuses. While their relationship in x-life would be hard to define as romantic in any sense, they were clearly fond of eachother before Joel eventually broke away.
Things get a bit hazy here since "for content" doesn't really translate to anything in-universe, but I think it's interesting to note that both the song and Joel mention an audience, specifically one that they feel the need to appease. Whether this is a metaphor or watcher lore or some secret third thing I have no idea but it sure is there 👍
In my mind, it goes like this: Jimmy and Joel meet, they hit it off, Jimmy is affectionate and Joel starts to catch feelings. Joel cuts Jimmy off for making him feel weird.
the second song in the playlist reinforces this, being a much angrier post-break-up song.
While this seems out-of-order (why does the immediate anger come after the song about life after the break-up?), I think it's interesting if you look at it from an angle of this not being fully Joel's feelings towards Jimmy, but Joel's frustration towards himself for messing it up.
with a little bit of frustration being placed on jimmy too:
pictured: joel in third life with a message from jimmy that he very much. does not answer.
personally I like to think Joel held a lot of resentment towards Jimmy in Third Life, both for homophobic reasons (i.e. you made me feel gay and now I'm gonna punish you for it) and for jealousy reasons (start of his number one scott hater arc)
this one's just in the wrong playlist first of all why does he insert this between two waterparks songs. whatever man.
anyway this song's interesting to me because it's literally just about a hot babe getting rejected by some fuck who refuses to be ball-and-chained.
there's two directions this could go imo: one is that this is, once again, evoking joel and jimmy's relationship. Joel acknowledges that he a life with Jimmy would be nice, but he refuses to settle down because it would rob him of his identity/freedom.
the other is that brandy is joel and the sailor is etho, since brandy shows an admiration for the sailor but also an awareness that he loves his job more than her
this storybook like description of how brandy saw the sailor's tales is very smalletho to me idk. very hand-in-hand with joel's child-like view of who etho is.
I don't have much for this one tbh it's pretty much just a love song and Joel really liking waterparks (king)
That being said, there's some fun imagery to play with here:
yellow = jimmy makes a lot of sense (blonde hair, canary imagery, yellow also representing people on their second life in the life series which evokes neither the assumed skillfulness of a late game green name nor the danger of a red name), as does green = joel (the green streak. shrek. yeahg. and while red joel is iconic "green like my insides" could also be read in this context as "deep down, I am safe to be around" which I think is neat)
"natural blue" is a bit harder to interpret (especially considering the original context of this being a joke about Awsten dyeing his hair) but blue is of course scott's colour. this could be read spitefully as Natural blue (was in love with jimmy first) vs scott's dyed hair or it's. joel saying that's he's gay idk man.
"at least I match your eyes" is pretty simple, with both of them having brown eyes, "jealous and hypnotized" once again alluding to some jealousy, likely towards FH again if you believe the blue line is alluding to scott.
however joel has plenty of people to be jealous of in regard to jimmy so. shrugs. hey you can even interpret this line as talking about jimmy's desirability. neat.
there's also this, which again might allude to flower husbands, implying in this fake world I've created that Joel doesn't view them as actually "married"
ok this is getting too long lmao see you guys next time i feel like writing about this stupid fucking playlist again
#random thoughts#trafficshipping#smallidarity#do i tag joel/effo if they're only mentioned like. once#nah i don't think so
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ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below
2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same
that being said . obviously i didnt like the game
which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.
but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.
for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me
regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok
and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.
lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.
but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.
i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.
and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.
there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.
so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest
leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.
#tay plays datv#datv#datv spoilers#datv critical#nobody needs to read this but fgdjkfgjk if you do#i hope it is clear that i write from a perspective of profound love for this series and all its characters.
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What do cogs eat in Toontown: Corporate Clash?
I'm doing research for a fic and have been scrounging the wiki for this information so I thought I'd compile my findings as a nice organised tumblr post in case anyone else needs access to this very specific part of the lore. There's actually a lot more than I thought there would be! If I've missed anything, feel free to add! The definitive list will be way at the bottom of the post if you just want the cold hard facts.
Section A - Foodstuffs that have a lot of evidence pointing towards their consumption by cogs.
Oil - Massive evidence for this in both Derrick Man and the CEO battle. Heals suits in Derrek Man, and seems to be their preferred food given its literally the only thing being served at the banquet? Maybe more of a beverage than a food? Still makes the list either way. Different varieties of oil are also mentioned, including carbonated/seltzer oil (from the Director's Cuts ARG andHigh Roller's trivia questions) and crude oil (discussed further below).
Cogfee (Coffee) - Cogfee is mentioned all the time. There's promotional art of Chip promoting cogfee, and his secretary also requests a new cogfee machine in the April Toons ARG. Cathal and Brian have also both delivered/refused to deliver cogfee to Allan, respectively. The Toxic Manager also gives the Insider a cup of Cogfee in the Director's cuts ARG, and there's probably even more examples of cogs drinking cogfee that I haven't included here. It's also worth a mention that Jennifer's favourite drink is a soyl mechiatto, which I would have assumed to be the cog equivalent of a machiatto with soya milk, but the fact that High Roller's trivia question on the subject makes a distinction between soyl mechiatto and cogfee mechiatto makes me doubt that the soyl one contains cogfee at all. Alas, I don't know enough about actual coffee to be able to tell you if you can even make a machiatto without coffee.
Cookies - Most of the evidence for this comes either directly or indirectly from Belle. Evidence for suits eating cookies comes from Belle's interview notes, the 1.3 blog post, the comic with Flint and Belle baking, and the C.O.O's 2023 dialogue. These also provide other things suits can eat in the form of cookie flavours: charcoal, ginger tar and crude morsels. I don't know if ginger tar is ginger flavoured tar or a variety of tar called "ginger tar", so that's up for interpretation. As far as I can tell, all three seem to function as a chocolate chip substitute, but could also possibly be replacing things like fruit or nuts in the cookies. The only non-Belle-related cookie evidence comes from the Director's Cuts ARG, where the Middleman gives the Insider a plate of crude oil cookies. I assume the crude oil used in these is a different thing than the crude morsels in the C.O.O's cookies, and I can't really identify what crude oil is supposed to be a subsitute for food-wise since it appears multiple times in different contexts.
Sandwiches and assorted ingredients - Cathal eats a sandwitch halfway through his battle, and you can't really get evidence more definitive than that. The wiki says it's specifically ham and cheese, and looking at his renders I can see that probably. In the 1.3 key art, he's got a different sandwich that looks like lettuce and tomato, so from Cathal alone, bread, ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato can be added to the list of things suits eat.
Ketchup - This is really a subsection of the last category given tomatoes have already been confirmed, but Count Erclaim steals 'Chup from Rocky on multiple occasions (notably the 'Halloween Hater comic') and Cathal also has two bottles of it in his office. There are also a concerningly high number of ketchup bottles inthe Mozzerella Styx freezer. So... Ketchup. Interestingly enough, the ad for Mozzerella Styx on High Roller's website lists 'Chup as a drink, so maybe its a suit beverage? Sure, why not.
Water - The existence of the water cooler attack implies that cogs can and do drink water, and it's also listed as an available drink three times on Mozzerella Styx's menu, as 'water', 'dihydrogen monoxide' and 'corporate water supply'. They also drink sparkling water/seltzer/carbonated water, whatever you want to call it, since Jennifer asks where she's supposed to keep her sparkling water after Spruce takes a bite out of her desk, and seltzer is one of the available options in the Mozzerella Styx drinks machine.
Cereal - Dave buys 500 boxes of cereal in the April Toons ARG. The picture identifies the cereal as 'Oil-o-Flakes', but the description says they're 'corn flakes', soooo... corn confirmed? Maybe?
Pizza - You'd think this one would be easy, given the fact that literally the only cog owned restaurant is a pizzeria, but the fact that Mozzerella Styx is a front kind of raises the question of whether they actually serve food there. Either way though, Count Erclaim orders a "none pizza with left beef" in one of his monologues, and even if his pizza is a meme it's still a pizza, and Erclaim is still a cog that's probably going to eat it. Oh. Also beef then, I guess.
The sustenance page on the gopher version of cogs.ink gets a special mention because I forgot about it completely and then felt like I'd struck gold when I stumbled back upon it. Things mentioned on this page that aren't already on the list include:
Coal, petrol-marinated beet and diamond dust inside a sandwich called the 'Money Christo'.
Sides include crispy steel bits, extra crude oil and gas-infused triple-fried coal.
Coal again, Turpentine Ansoff Jelly and Oxalic Acid patties, all of which are considered breakfast (or, deskfast, as the page says) foods.
Carbon carbonara, made with only the finest eggs and crude oil (but what ingredient can be used in cookies and also in carbonara?).
Canned bread (WHY IS IT IN A CAN?) and kerosene dip.
Compressed fish
Strawberry Daigou, which is a dessert according to the description, and also contains the allergen 'red'. I didn't know suits could be allergic to anything until now.
SODIMM SOda
Section B - Things that I'm not certain on but I thought were still worth a mention.
Pie - Allan asks if the pies the toons are throwing at him "are imported blueberry", which implies that he's eaten both imported and non-imported blueberry pies before, to be able to tell the difference. Either that or he's been hit in the face so many times with both that he's now able to tell the difference, and he doesn't actually eat them. He can tell its blueberry though, which does suggest he's had those before and knows what they taste like. Given strawberries are already confirmed, its probably safe to say that cogs eat blueberries too.
Wood - Spruce, basically. He takes a bite out of Jennifer's table during his interview, says he's got at chomping trees in his personal statement and he's always got that log in his mouth. It's never really stated whether he actually eats the trees or just bites them, though. Also, eating trees feels very much like a Spruce thing, and not something any other suits would do. Like, they probably can eat wood, but would they want to?
Coins - Its mentioned in the cog building music backstage blog post that Dave ate 20,000 Cogbucks worth of quaters in the Cashbot mints. I'm confident this is a Dave exclusive thing and that no other cog would ever do this. I think.
Section C - Things that depend entirely on the validity of Mozzerella Styx as an actual cog restaurant.
Mozzerella Styx seems like it would be a veritable gold mine of information on cog food, but that actually depends on who Mozzerella Styx's target audience actually is. Mozzerella Styx's target audience is important because if they're trying to appear as a reputable toon resturaunt, then there's no gaurentee that cogs would even eat the things on their menu, as they would be toon foods rather than cog foods. The menu is weird though, since it definetly includes things that toons would never eat, like oil, which implies either that suits are intended to eat there or that whoever wrote the menu didn't know that toons can't drink oil. The menu does seem to be geared towards toons in some way, though, given the two 'toon drink here' options in the drinks section. Who are your target market, Mozzerella Styx??? And that's not even getting into if they even sell food there. The short with the two toons ordering a pizza implies that you can definetly order there, but the outcome of that short (the toons never getting any pizza) combined with the menu says 'pay upfront', 'product not gaurenteed' and 'no refunds' makes me incredibly doubtful that anyone has ever managed to successfully eat food from Mozzerella Styx (the fact that the toons are going here also suggests its a "toon" resturaunt. Or maybe they're just chill with going to a cog owned resturaunt? They definetly at least heard Styx over the phone). HOWEVER! The fact that the 1.4.0 patch notes say they're generating more money through pizza sales, combined with the (presumably paid for) ad on High Roller's website and the fact that they have actual pizza ingredients in the freezer makes me think that maybe they are actually running a resturaunt with real food on the side of all the money laundering? Perhaps? Either way, this big long ramble has acheived nothing, and I've got no idea if these foodstuffs are any more valid than I did at the start of it. Well then. If we're assuming that cogs do eat at Mozzerella Styx, for the sake of having more data, then everything on the menu can be added to the list. This includes:
Pineapple - The head huntin' hawaiian pizza, despite the pizza pictured under it not containing any pineapple, does make another appearance on a poster where pineapple is visible. There's no sauce, though. Why is there no sauce on this pizza. (Also, I'm going to remove pineapple from the 'Mozzerella Styx Clause', since Jennifer says in Buck's interview notes that he smells like pineapple, meaning she's eaten or at least smelled it before. Therefore, it's probably a valid suit food).
Nuts and bolts - The same poster with the hawaiian pizza also suggests you add [photo of nuts and bolts]. They aren't mentioned by name, but they sure are there!
New Year Cabbage
Salad - No idea what this salad contains, so I suppose every vegetable and other thing that could possibly be in a salad is up for debate. If you wanted to make it out of already confirmed salad stuff, it would probably be lettuce, tomato and beetroot.
Mushrooms - The picture of the aledgedly hawaiian pizza appears to have mushrooms on it, and mushroom pizza is also an option.
Broccoli - The alleged hawaiian pizza also has what I think is broccolli on it, and I really like broccoli so I'm adding it to the list.
Bread-sticks
Junior Executive Juice - I hope this is juice made for junior executives and not juice made out of junior executives
Ice cream cone - Not specified whether this is an ice cream cone as in 'its ice cream in a cone' or 'it's an ice cream cone with no ice cream'. I'll assume there's ice cream involved because it seems cruel to deprive these robots of ice cream.
Waffle cone
Traffic cone - I mean... it's on the menu?
Onions
Pine - Pine needles? Pine trees? Pineapples? We will never know
Jellybeans - I find it funny that these guys are just casually eating the toons' money. Maybe there's a difference between currency jellybeans and jellybeans for eating, but its still funny.
Soda Cold-a - The drink machine by the front counter actually provides a lot of new drinks that I'm specifically exempting from the 'Mozzerella Styx Clause' due to the fact that a) Toons definetly cannot drink half of this stuff and b) this drink machine for sure exists and probably does dispense all of these things. Available beverages not yet counted include antifreeze, diet oil, coolant, Cold-a and gas (which completes the C.O.G.S trifecta! Horray, suits can officially eat everything that C.O.G.S inc produces!)
Slushies - The slushie machine behind the counter appears to dispense slushy in flavours DRINK, Zap and BLUE. There are no cups present near this machine, only cones, which implies it could be a snow cone machine, but the ad on High Roller's website shows a cup with a straw labelled 'BLUE', so either they're drinking snow cone syrup or its a slushie machine.
Snow cones
Salt and pepper - There are salt and pepper shakers on all of the tables. Horray for seasonings! Why you would put those on a pizza I have no idea.
The List
Okay, I've probably missed something but here's my definitive list, colour coded, alphabetized and sorted for your convenience. Items in black are pretty much 100% confirmed, items in blue are speculative with not much evidence and items in green depend entirely on Mozzerella Styx's validity as a cog resturant.
Human safe foods:
Beef, Beetroot, Blueberries, Bread, Bread-sticks, Broccoli, Cabbage, Carbonara, Cereal, Cheese, Cookies, Corn, Eggs, Fish, Ginger(?), Ham, Ice cream, Jellybeans, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Onions, Pepper (the seasoning not the vegetable), Pie, Pineapple, Pizza, Salad, Salt, Sandwiches, Snow cones, Strawberries, Tomatoes (and derivitives ketchup and tomato sauce), Waffle cones.
Things humans should definetly not be eating:
Charcoal, Coal, Coins, Crispy steel bits, Crude morsels, Crude Oil, Diamond dust, Extra Crude Oil, Gas-infused triple-fried coal, Ginger tar, Kerosene, Nuts and bolts, Oxalic Acid Patties, Petrol, Pine, Traffic cones, Turpentine Ansoff Jelly, Wood.
Beverages:
Antifreeze, Carbonated oil, Cogfee, Cold-a, Coolant, Diet Oil, Gas, Juice, Ketchup(?), Oil, Slushies, SODIMM SOda, Soyl, Sparkling water/Seltzer, Water.
Unidentified:
red
All of these things can probably be broken down into their core ingredients, too, which would really expand the variety of foodstuffs on offer. Basically, cog food seems to be pretty similar to human food, just with a lot more metal and machine-stuff.
#yes im aware I spelt 'mozzerella' wrong#no im not going to fix it#ive spent far to long on this already#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#crocsyapping
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This will be a long post but I've been thinking about this since last night.
I get a pit in my stomach when I think about the new Fallout TV show and the chance TES may get a show if the Fallout show is super successful.
I've been hearing the show has been pretty good, but ive also heard some grim rumblings and worries about certain directions Bethesda/Amazon are taking lore-wise in the Fallout show. Apparently Todd has said everything in the show is canon.
I've not watched it myself as I'm not a huge TV watcher in general, but I don't know if I want to see Bethesda or an outside studio make massive changes to TES lore which affect both past and future installments in TES purely for the sake of "making good TV".
I am most certainly not a "modern Bethesda" hater or of the opinion that modern TES/Fallout games are bad. I pretty much love them all. (I even enjoyed Starfield, huge glaring flaws and all!)
I genuinely believe they are trying their best to make fun games. I also understand they have had a lot of struggles over the past decade+, particularly in company direction and budgeting of necessary resources (pre-Microsoft acquisition).
The old Zenimax upper management was awful (Trumps brother was literally on the Zenimax board of Directors before he died). And infamously refused budget allocations towards serious game engine improvements that were desperately needed. Bethesda has had alot of struggles but I feel they have always tried to do the best they can, even if the final result is middling.
I am also not a Todd hater. Even if he's not necessarily the best game designer, he has a lot of heart and passion and seems to genuinely care about Bethesda and its employees. I am glad he seems to have a genuinely good relationship with Microsoft and I have high hopes for Bethesda's future in the long term.
All that said, there are just certain changes that can happen when "Hollywood comes knocking" per se., even if most of the main creative decisions still come from Bethesda. TV shows can be fantastic and lauded with praise but if they are based on an established property with established lore, they often ultimately go in creative directions which negates the lore and other non-TV entries in the series.
Just look at GOT. It started off amazingly, and GRR Martin had a direct hand in all the early series. It was the best show on TV until suddenly GRR was no longer involved directly and the show runners started making their own decisions. They started ignoring established lore and making "changes and improvements" which nose dived the series by the end.
Perhaps I am paranoid, but I can see something similar happening to Fallout if the show is big and keeps getting new series. Furthermore, I hold a deep dread that TES may be next. Just think, how many people talk about GOT anymore? How many people are hyped for the next book(s) in the series? The books didn't get bad right? Only the TV show did.
But that's my point. If Fallout or TES have these big smash initial hits on TV but begin to fail after a while, it damages the series as a whole, not just the TV show. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see TES/Fallout TV shows be nothing but great. I just worry as I've been hearing of major major lore changes being made by the Fallout show. These changes are irrevocable and utterly change the lore of that series, and not necessarily for the better. I'll try to refrain from further judgment on that, but I'll leave with this question:
What if TES had a super quality and popular TV show which negated large parts of pre-Oblivion lore? Suddenly, due to the show, innumerable people/places/things which were iconic to the TES series were no longer around or perhaps not even canon anymore? What if those things were just lost or written off for the sake of a TV show?
As a fan of TES, and maybe even of that TV show, how would that make you feel?
I'm am not trying to stir controversy here, but I think we as a fandom need to have more public discussions about this. We also need to be prepared to not dump on any new changes to the series or lore without giving them a fair shake. Something being "new and different" does mean its awful. Changes can be good or bad but they must be carefully considered.
I hope this new Fallout show's premiere will provide us a good chance to consider the future of TES media and lore outside the games before any changes are announced or made.
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We need to talk about the patreon and fan treatment.
I know a lot of people are happy about the patreon cause it means they get new stuff or opportunities if they missed the Kickstarter for Touch starved But as a backer who pledged some good money, endured the full year of shallow / empty reposted content regarding the game and is now told the basic fandom interaction that I should receive is paywalled I’m upset.
Didn’t we all saw the amount of money received upon Kickstarter ? Why isn’t the patreon just an offer that means people gets the Kickstarter monthly update if they couldn’t support before ??? Why is something that should be either directly free or to some tier of the Kickstarter who paid a lot ( not even talking about me, talking about people who paid over 300€ ) is now asked again ? For what reason do they need to set up a patreon if we aren’t even promised an expended demo in the waiting of another year ???
Even if it’s a small new studio the devs aren’t new and have knowelge regarding fandoms and visual novel development. The last legacy social media was praised because of how nice the post were for the comunity ( we’re talking lore and shitpost type of post ).
The patreon was announced 4 days ago and is now said to release in 4 days…. You realize that it means that a no moment the devs were planning on hearing people’s opinion about it ??? They never been this fast for an announcement and it’s concerning money !? Why is there no testing water ? Why is there no reading the comments of upset Kickstarter backers who propose the alternative to have the patreon release the same infos as the Kickstarter infos so it would give a fair chance to everyone ? Where is the sense of comunity here ???
Now reposting directly what I said on my insta stories :
This is me being upset but remember that i’m upset because I like the premise of this game and had a really big interest and love for it, I’m not being a Hater just for hating I am upset as someone who like the game and what I was promised.
Since I already paid and will receive a game key I will play the game once it’s out because I have no doubt it will be good I am nowhere downplaying how well crafted this game will be I’m just saying that the devs are not treating the fans well enough in return for the boost the comunity is giving them.
Now regarding this post, I am Upset and my opinion won’t change unless the dev actively do something about it so there is no need to try defending them. If you leave a comment in their support I will simply not interact as You have the right to have your opinion but mine is currently settled.
Have a good day and thank you for taking the time to read.
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