#this is not a live and let live situation fuck!!! fuck you!!!!!

[ang3lc]

merry christmas, ya slags.

cw: none, johnnys oiled up and under your tree this year.

you’d been ranting about your latest dating disaster for the past twenty minutes, sprawled across johnny’s couch like it was your personal therapy session. johnny, on the other hand, was perched in his recliner, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he listened to you bemoan your fate.

“i just don’t get it,” you sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over your forehead. “why is it so hard to find a decent man? like, is there some sort of curse on me or something?”

johnny’s jaw clenched. he’d been biting his tongue for months, listening to you complain about men who weren’t good enough for you, all while ignoring the fact that he was obviously the best option.

“maybe you’re just blind,” he muttered under his breath, though you were too busy lamenting to hear him properly.

“what was that?”

“nothin’.” he waved you off, trying to keep his frustration in check. “keep goin’, 'm riveted.”

you sat up, squinting at him. “you’re being sarcastic.”

“nah,” he drawled, smirking in that infuriating way of his. “'m hangin’ on every word, promise.”

you rolled your eyes but didn’t press him further, deciding to let it slide. it wasn’t until later, when you were at home scrolling through instagram, and you saw a simple post from a meme account—neon pink background with text saying: “need a 6'3 man oiled tf up under my tree. santa, i’m begging.”—straight to the close friends.

it was meant to be funny, nothing more, but johnny was, in fact, a close friend. when he saw it, it was like a switch flipped in his brain.

“oh, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered, running a hand down his face. you’d gone on and on about not finding the right man, and here you were going on about it again. if this wasn’t his cue to finally make a move, he didn’t know what was.

christmas morning was supposed to be peaceful. you’d planned on sleeping in, maybe making yourself a nice breakfast while you watched cheesy holiday movies. instead, you woke up to the faint sound of movement coming from your living room.

your heart raced as you shuffled out of bed, grabbing the nearest “weapon” you could find—an empty water bottle—and tiptoed down the hall. you cursed yourself for not locking your bedroom door, or maybe the front door. but as you peered into the living room, weapon raised, you stopped dead in your tracks.

there, lying shirtless—and oiled up—beneath your christmas tree, was johnny.

“mornin’, sunshine,” he greeted with a lazy grin, propping himself up on one elbow.

“what the fuck?” you sputtered, staring at him in utter disbelief.

he stretched out languidly, looking entirely too comfortable on your living room floor. “just fulfillin’ yer christmas wish, bon. ye said ye wanted a man oiled up under yer tree, yeah?”

your jaw dropped as the realization hit you. “johnny, it was a meme! i was joking!” no you weren't.

he shrugged, his grin widening. “aye, but ye’ve been complainin’ abo' not havin’ a man for months, so i figured i’d do somethin’ abo' it.”

“this is insane,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair as you took in the absurd sight before you. his toned chest gleamed under the soft glow of the christmas lights, and you couldn’t help but notice how good he looked, even if he was driving you insane.

“Nae, 'm brilliant!” he countered, gesturing to himself. “look at me, lassie. ’m the full package—oiled, under the tree, and wrapped in nothin’ but me boxers.”

you couldn’t help it—you laughed. it bubbled out of you uncontrollably, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation breaking through your initial shock.

“you’re unbelievable,” you said, shaking your head.

“and yet,” he drawled, sitting up and resting his arms on his knees, “here ye are, not kickin’ me out. by the way, a water bottle's a shite excuse of a weapon.”

you bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile. “you broke into my house, johnny.”

“did nae such thing,” he said, feigning innocence. “ye gave me a key months ago, remember? said it was for 'emergencies'. this felt like one.”

“i've changed the locks since then, and this is not an emergency!”

he stood up, towering over you with that cheeky grin still plastered on his face. “depends how ye look at it.”

before you could argue, he stepped closer, his expression softening. “listen,” he said, his voice quieter now. “’m nae jokin’ when i say 'm tired of watchin’ ye pine after blokes who don’ see ye for who ye are. ye want someone under yer tree, yeah, someone to make ye happy? 'm right here, love. always have been.”

his words hit you like a ton of bricks, and for the first time, you saw him not as your goofy best friend, but as something more. and it definitely wasn't because of his resemblance to a fresh baked glazed donut.

“you’re serious,” you whispered, your chest tightening.

“dead serious,” he replied, his blue eyes locked on yours. “but it’s up to ye. tell me to go, and i’ll leave. but if you give me a chance, promise ye won’t regret it.”

you stared at him for a moment, your heart pounding in your ears. then, without thinking, you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.

“you’re ridiculous,” you mumbled, your voice muffled against his skin.

“aye,” he said, holding you tightly. “but ye love me for it, don’ ye?”

you looked up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “maybe.”

his grin widened. “that’s good enough for me.”

and as the snow fell quietly outside, you couldn’t help but think that this might just be the best christmas gift you’d ever received.

mlist

[jjsmermaid]

⋆.˚౨ৎ thinking about how bsf/baby daddy!jj and puppy!reader even got into this mess of raising a kid together

cw: profanity , unplanned pregnancy , smut 18+ ( unprotected sex , daddy kink , degradation , praise , size kink , accidental cream pie ) , plan b not working

in a house full of really hot people , it’s bound that the single ones are going to fuck like rabbits any chance they get. it’s science.

that’s what jj would say every time you two had the discussion of maybe calling it quits on the friends with benefits that live together with all of their friends thing you had going on. but of course , it never lasted long. you were too horny— for him specifically. he knew your body like his own , and he had no problem showing you just how much he knew you all of the time.

it’s not like you could avoid him. he was your best friend. you did everything with him. if jj maybank was anywhere , everyone knew you weren’t too far away. people noticed that you were closer to each other than most best friends , but they never commented on it. just once.

“sorry we don’t fit your social norm , john b , but i’d like to remind you that you kissed kiara once. that’s not very friendly either,” you’d reply , defending you and jj’s friendship whenever jj’s hand drifted a little too low to grip at your ass when you hugged. john b would just whine that it was years ago and he was sorry for saying anything.

later that night , jj couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth , low and raspy in your ear. “do friends do this , baby? huh? cause you’re the one always wanting my dick. actin’ like a bitch in fucking heat,” he grunted , grinding his hips into yours from behind. his entire weight was pushing you deeper in the mattress , forcing you to take everything he was giving you.

and god , you just took it , moaning back as he gave you an especially hard thrust before wrapping his arm under your throat and pulling you up just a little bit. “y’gonna answer me?” he asked , a hint of a moan ripping from his mouth when he saw the fucked out look on your face, “we just friends?”

“fuck , no , daddy!” you cried , trying your best to move your hips back into his , needing more, “please don’t stop!”

jj let go of you , causing your face to drop into the pillows again before he was flipping you both over and situating you on his lap. you whined , knowing he’d make you put in some of the work , and looked down. his cock rested against your stomach , stopping just below your belly button. “put that shit back in , pup. go to fuckin’ town,” he instructed , catching his breath and slapping the side of your ass, “c’mon.”

you lifted your hips , hand guiding him to your entrance before sinking back down into jj’s lap in one go. “fuck , s’big,” you mewled , yanking him into a sloppy kiss as you started bouncing up and down. you were swallowing each other’s moans at this point while you humped his lap as fast as possible.

“you take it so good , though,” jj smiled up at you , hand coming down on your ass again before helping your hips move, “can see myself up in your stomach,” he almost laughed , taking his other hand to rest on your lower belly and pressing down. your head fell back as you held onto jj’s shoulders for dear life. moans were floating around the room , yours mixing with his.

“shit , shit , shit. m’gonna cum , daddy,” you tried to warn him before it happened , but the head of his dick pounding into you just right was enough to make you cream around him and plant yourself on his lap.

“fuck! get off , get—“ jj whimpered , hips stuttering into yours as his hands gripped at the fat on your hips as his orgasm finally hit. you could feel his cum shooting into you , filling you impossibly more. “fuck,” he groaned , letting his head drop to your chest.

you swirled your hips when jj’s mouth latched onto your nipple , sucking it in and moving his tongue over your sick. “j,” you sighed , starting to build your rhythm again.

because shit , he’d already busted inside of you. might as well go a few more rounds. make the plan b worth it.

now here you were , sneaking through sarah’s bathroom cabinet to find the spare pregnancy test you knew she had. it had been far too long since you’d gotten your period , and you know the pill always fucked with you and your flow , but something felt wrong.

your tits hurt. so much so that jj smugly offered to suck on them until they felt better. and usually , you’d comply , but this time you smacked his hand away before going to your room. you’d been nauseous and crankier than usual. you just needed to know. so , you’d take the stupid test now and replace it before sarah noticed.

that was the plan before you looked down and saw the happy , little smiley face staring back at you. “jj!”

it had been so long since jj heard someone screaming his name like that. he didn’t hesitate to jump from the couch and come running upstairs to make sure you were good. “what’s goin’ on?” he asked all out of breath as he stood in the bathroom doorway. and then he saw it.

“looks like we should’ve stopped hitting it raw that night,” you chuckled , tossing him the test with tears in your eyes. he caught it , bouncing it between his hands for a moment before being able to properly read it.

[frannyzooey]

You, and this fic, own me.

This chapter had so much to give!!! I thought it was going to be pure filth and then you hit me with that ending, and I am fucking yearning for these two so goddamn bad (while also being so out of my mind aroused --)

There were so, so many good parts in this one, like the way my mouth fucking dropped open at this:

“Just another reason that maybe you should be inside that church, rather than suckin’ dick in its parking lot."

and THIS:

And so help you god, he’s wearing his tool belt. 

But THIS -- this took the fuckin' cake:

“Then play ‘house’ with me,” you purr, dragging your fingers through his hair. “You can be daddy,” you stroke down his cheek, over his lips, “I can be mommy. And you can try and put a baby in me.”

I was literally levitating at this line. ROCKETING TOWARDS THE MOON!! I was also so in love with how light and free and fun their fucking and teasing was -- the way they just slide into role play like it's no goddamn thing had me grinning ear to ear

Annnnnnnnnd then you hit me with the emotions:

The discordance stirs in your stomach. Right now, you’re actually witnessing the loving-husband-turned-infidel façade weave its way through his marriage. He’s asking her to leave…for you. To free up time to be with you. Under the guise of caring for her. 

You wish it made you feel worse. It just feels…uncomfortable to actually view firsthand.

I literally cannot even imagine what it would feel like to witness the deception happening first hand, and it's something that a lot of cheating fics don't explore? (and I should know 😌)...the way you treated this scene was literal perfection because you brought so much nuance to his emotions. He's being deceptive, but not a manipulative gross creep like this situation is often portrayed. He genuinely hurts....yet does it anyway. I'm obsessed with this scene because you're doing such a good job extending Joel, as a man, the same grace that people often give to the reader in these types of stories. They empathize with the reader feeling bad but doing it anyway, but they often villainize the man, or assume he doesn't feel as bad, ya know? Anyway, just me waxing on about your beautiful brain ❤️

I had all these amazing thoughts about your writing skills....and then they all leaked from my brain when I read this:

You: Yours is the only mouth I want sucking on these titties right now, daddy 👅

You fix your sweater and peer back through your peephole, just to see his face collapse in arousal, grinding the heel of his palm over the crotch of his jeans.

I know the desk fucking scene was so taboo and so filthy, but I felt so, so fucking soft when he said this:

setting the frame down in front of you before yanking your hair at the root and slamming his hand down next to the photo. “You stare at that girl while daddy’s tearin’ apart your slutty little asshole. Remind her that she deserves better than that piece a’shit.”

I live for this line 😭😭

And then this -- this -- was perfection:

“Baby,” he takes your face in his hands again, his expression edging on broken. On your behalf. “What has this fuckin’ monster done to you? My girl from the bar, she knew what she was fuckin’ worth. And she’d let you know it. She came first, and she didn’t apologize for it or accept anything less. What did he do to that fuckin’ girl?”

“Maybe it wasn’t all him."

I could literally envision the look on his face when she said that. What a fucking LINE, Katy and then to have it followed with her speech about how Jack isn't a monster, he's just a man??

The way you are out here giving the depth to this trope that it needs has me SAT and quite frankly, green with envy

This chapter was so fucking good 💀💀💀 ily ❤️

Good Neighbors | (joel miller x f!reader) (18+)

Part Three of Four

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧A fic inspired by Fortnight by Taylor Swift✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Part One | Part Two

summary: your affair with joel heats up with a week of uninterrupted bliss. warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] no outbreak!au, age gap (joel is 48, reader is 32), joel x ofc (no sexual content), reader x omc (pitiful sexual content), infidelity, daddy!kink, fingering, unprotected PIV, unprotected anal, oral (m! and f!receiving), degradation!kink, praise!kink, brief roleplaying, unashamed sexualization of the term "kiddo", discussions of SA and domestic abuse, marital discussions regarding mismatched desires on having children, reader struggles with body image as a result of her abusive husband, unhealthy/toxic age gap marriage. this chapter is a much needed break from Jack. immersion notes: reader has hair, wears dresses/makeup, and is considered a "trophy wife" type. additionally, reader is specifically implied to be conventionally thin. apologies to anyone for whom this kills immersion for, but it felt very necessary in the context of the story. word count: ~11.6k a/n: wanted to give the lovebirds a little part that's primarily fun times before shit hits the fan <3 So there will be one more chapter!

Available Only to Registered Users on AO3

[lulu-fic]

IMAGINE

Y/n is a grown adult, living all alone by himself. He also likes to dress up in feminine clothing and put a little bit makeup whenever he goes outside. Although he do gets curious stares here and there, but y/n just simply don't care.

One night after a draining day of work, y/n comes home all sweaty. But one nice shower can solve all problems, don't you think? He finishes his nice steamy shower, feeling at peace.

Y/n gets himself ready to go to bed- wearing his fav slik two piece pajama, applying his dior lip gloss, and caster oil on his eyelashes, lighting his fav rose scented candle- smelling like a rose himself.

At somewhere around midnight, when he was lost in his slumber, y/n's balcony makes a screeching sound indicating someone has broken into his house.

He wakes up alarmingly, trying to see the culprit. But before y/n could even properly react the intruder already have him pinned on his bed, with a knife against his collar.

"A'right doll, don't make a noise, okay?" The intruder says. But it seems like y/n is liking the thrill, because the pre-cum is staining his silk shorts, making a noticeable wet spot.

Even the intruder seems to notice this. "Y"er liking this, aren't you, doll?" "I'm not a doll." Y/n interject, trying to seem tough. But the intruder didn't seemed to appreciate his thought.

Which brings us to this present situation- with y/n's face down, ass up, with his hole being roughly pounded, tears running down his face- in pure fucked up bliss.

When the intruder's thrust were getting more rough, hitting y/n prostate with every hit, y/n clenched at the bedsheets beneath him and tried to tum away from the pleasure.

The intruder also seemed to notice this. He grabbed y/n's hip in a strong grasp and said, "Where are you running to, prince?"

With the final hit, y/n spurted cum from cock (also the fourth time he came that night), eyes rolling back in the skull. The intruder also came, painting y/n's gummy wall white.

"Hah, I had a great time, doll. Will be coming again." He said as a farewell.

And let's just say he was not the only one that was coming after that night.

© lulu-reads, 2024. All rights reserved. Don't copy, translate or modify my work. Also Do not post my work on any other platform.

[warblogs17282]

I'm busy thinking about the fact that we can see how a lot of the conflict between Stolas and Octavia has roots in the unhealthy family dynamics brought on in Stolas' childhood.

Mainly inspired from a quote I heard from someone reacting to the episode, that being something along the lines of "Fucked up parents create fucked up children.", and tbh, I can kinda see that with Stolas and Octavia.

Also, let's get one other thing out of the way as well, the family dynamic Stolas and Octavia had before Blitz came into his life was never healthy at all.

The line 'You have always been the only good thing in my life!' hits really hard for a few reasons, with one of them being because it shows that before Blitz came into his life, Octavia was practically Stolas' whole life. Which naturally is not healthy for either of them, while your child is a very significant and important part of your life, they should still not be literally your entire life.

And well, Stolas being like that makes sense, you can see roots of that within Stolas' isolated childhood and upbringing, the only person Stolas had as a friend was Blitz when he was a child, and even then, they didn't see each other again for the next 25 years, leaving Stolas with basically no one else, no other friends to talk to, etc.

And you can see that manifest itself into the family dynamics between Stolas and Octavia, because Stolas has no social life at all outside of the family, and his family, which as a result, leads to Octavia being practically Stolas' whole world, as shown by that line he said.

The line is also quite interesting as well, because in one side, we have Octavia being practically Stolas' whole world, but I also believe the vice versa of that line is true as well.

Which I suppose is the segway into the section of what happens when an imp comes along and absolutely shatters that unhealthy family dynamic.

Something the show has made clear is that a lot of Octavia's life has also revolved around Stolas, which makes sense, but the issue here is that I'm pretty sure that almost all of Octavia's life revolved around Stolas or the family in some way, as I'm pretty sure that this also leads us to a conclusion that Octavia has no support system at all, no actual friends, etc. Which is something that we recognize is quite similar to Stolas, as he also had no support system, no friends, etc, until he met Blitz at that fateful party.

Especially if we consider the fact that Stella is both a neglectful and abusive parent, so it's not like Octavia had the support of both parents here, Octavia only had the support and attention of Stolas her entire upbringing and childhood.

You all remember the "so that girl could live a normal life" comment Stolas made in s2 e1? I believe that this family dynamic is exactly what Stolas was referring to when he said that, Stolas also believed that the family dynamic at play was a normal and healthy thing for the child, when it was anything but.

Which brings us into the events after Blitz came into Stolas' life, when that the family dynamics Stolas was referring to with that 'normal life' comment were completely shattered.

The family dynamics bring up something interesting to me about Octavia, I feel like her upbringing and childhood is also part of the reason as to why she feels like Stolas has abandoned and replaced her with Blitz, why she struggles to understand the fact that Stolas can care for and love Blitz a lot, while also caring for and loving her a lot as well.

Obviously there's more to the situation to it than just this, there's other things like Stolas failing to properly explain the situation and other things that Octavia really should've known, to give an example. But at the same time, I still can't help but think that all of this has roots in the unhealthy family dynamics between them that got shattered when Blitz entered Stolas' life.

And well, it was Octavia's lack of knowledge about the situation that led to her coming to the conclusions she did, such as the conclusions she came to when she found the happy pills, for example.

Octavia's song also makes something else clear, that she used to think that him and Stella had a happy marriage until Blitz arrived in his life, and we know that the reason Octavia used to think that is because of Stolas hiding the abuse he suffered to give Octavia a 'normal life', which as I've stated before, this 'normal life' also included the unhealthy family dynamics between them, the same one where Stolas' entire life revolved around Octavia and the family, and vice versa for Octavia.

Which is the main reason why I believe that the unhealthy family dynamics is a part of the reason of why Octavia said and did what she did this episode, because Blitz actually started the transition into healthier family dynamics, with those being Stolas finally getting the courage to get the divorce, and Stolas having someone in his life outside of the family, no longer having Octavia and Stolas' family quite literally be all that there is to his life.

But here's the thing, because of Octavia's unintentionally lonely upbringing with the unhealthy family dynamics she doesn't know the full situation of, I don't think she recognizes that it is not healthy for the parent or the child for their entire world to be centered around their child plus the family, and vice versa. Plus for the same reasons and a bit more, I don't think she properly recognizes that Stolas can love and care for both Blitz and Octavia a lot at the same time.

As I have stated before, we point to multiple other reasons as to why Octavia behaved, said and believes in what she did, such as her feeling abandoned and replaced by Blitz, and I definitely agree with you all on that Stolas is nowhere near entirely innocent in this whole situation for multiple reasons, but at the same time, I still believe that at least part of this reason why has something to do with Octavia's upbringing, and the unhealthy family dynamics associated with said upbringing, which has roots in Stolas' extremely isolated and lonely upbringing.

Just to be clear, I am not blaming Octavia for anything here, and I am also not hating on Stolas for choosing to be happy with Blitz as well, while I have stated multiple times that Stolas did indeed fuck-up on multiple occasions, I am still not choosing a side here regarding the whole situation. I will not accept any Stolas or Octavia slander, as I have stated multiple times by now.

[sugawhaaa]

🍫•SEONGHWA ONE-SHOT•🍫

♡✧˖°🍒Hot chocolate🍒♡✧˖°

Warnings//genre:: SMUT, DRUGGING/APHRODISIACS, mutual masturbation, oral (f rec) face fucking, creampie, sweat fetish, marking,

Pairing:: dom!seonghwa x sub!fem!reader

A/N:: I really don't know what to say...I hope yall like this tho, I worked hard on it 🙏

As you stirred the forbidden sweets into the hot chocolate you were making for you and your boyfriend you think back on what he had said a few weeks ago. "Wouldn't it be fun to try some aphrodisiacs?" He brought it up at the most random time. On another occasion, he mentioned putting it in cake or cookies as a surprise but never actually did it but today, you made the move. "Is it almost done?" Seonghwa asks warmly from the livingroom and you smile with a nod before carrying the cups out to the living room couch where you'd be watching your movie.

You and Seonghwa just came back from taking a walk out in the snowfall at night and though it was magical and aesthetic it was so cold. The two of you decided to snuggle up with some hot cocoa and watch a movie but you thought it'd be fun to sneak some aphrodisiacs into your drinks. He wouldn't mind...right?

You give him his cup and he's completely unsuspecting. You get about twenty minutes into the movie and he hasn't taken a single sip of it, because it was too hot, but you get worried that he might've caught you. You continue as if everything is normal, cuddling up beside him and taking occasional sips. You knew what was in it but you wanted to see. natural. You then saw him beginning to drink it and suddenly, his drink is gone.

We're honestly excited at the fact that a, he didn't catch you, and b, he was gonna be unbearably horny in about 15 minutes and you couldn't wait to see how he'd react. It began with him shifting a lot beside you and then clearing his throat more than usual. You take a quick glance up at him and you can tell he is flushed, but you don't assist him. Instead, you wait for him to confess his dilemma.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?" He says as he breathes heavily, you swear you could see the puff of warmth from his breath like a sex scene in those BL Mangas.

"It's a little warm," you nod. "Could be all the hot chocolate you chugged," you tease and poke his chest and you can see the struggle in his eyes. Seonghwa fights to seem calm and normal but on the inside, he is panicking. He can feel the sweat building along his body, his heart thumping in his ears to the same rhythm as his cock just aching to beat inside of you. His breath always seems out of reach as he inhales sharply.

"Baby, I feel like something is wrong," he slicks his hair back as he feels a glob of precum trail down his cock and soak his pajamas. You set down your cup and turn to him.

"What's up, baby?" You look up at him trying to hide your smile as he pants but he only grumbles in response, not sure how to tell you how he's feeling.

"It's like...I'm so horny it hurts but I don't know why? It just started for no reason," Seonghwa explains as you examine his fucked up features, pink cheeks, glossy eyes, and that dark haze hiding beneath his pupils that are blown out. You officially can't hide your smile anymore and turn into a little smirk to play it off in this situation. "Why are you smiling?" His voice is weary as if he is putting the piecing of the puzzle together in his head as he talks.

"I'm not!" You protest but Seonghwa is already on your trail. "Just since you're feeling this way we could indulge in some...activities," You smirk and Seonghwa's breath hitches at your words.

"Not until you tell me why this is happening," Seonghwa grins and you let out a sigh.

"Fine. I melted some aphrodisiacs into our hot chocolate," You confess and Seonghwa's jaw drops. He finally pauses the TV as he takes a deep breath.

"I should be pissed at you," He begins and you nod in understanding. "But I am way too fucking hard to care," He pulls you closer, resting you on his lap. As he pulls you up you feel his raging boner against your clothed pussy. You take a glance down out of curiosity and his sweatpants are strained into a tent with a dark, wet patch at the tip. Seonghwa smirks as he follows your eyes, making eye contact when you look back at him. "I'm not in the mood to be patient and it's your fault so you're gonna take it," Seonghwa practically rips his clothes off before kneading and clawing at yours. He starts with your shirt before moving lower, yanking off your pants and panties to reveal your soaked and throbbing cunt. He picks you up by your thighs and plops you back down on the couch. He snaps your legs open and, without warning, he wraps his swollen and wet lips along your pussy lips.

"Fuck, Seonghwa!" You jump as your legs jolt up and already you can feel the aphrodisiacs working. Every time his tongue grazes over any sort of sensitive area you feel like you could scream in pleasure, but instead, you just grab and yank his hair.

Seonghwa sucks one of your little folds into his mouth before rolling it back and forth along his tongue. You let out a loud cry as your back arches and it only stirs him on more; the way he was eating you out was like he hadn't eaten in months, like he was deprived of a feast for years and he finally got his chance to be feral. The room fills you with the sound of him slurping, sucking, spitting, and moaning along with your squeals and sobs. "I-I'm close," You sob out and Seonghwa drags his tongue along your slit, poking his tongue into your entrance. His hands come around to grope your thighs leaving red marks. You felt as though it was too early to cum but due to the aphrodisiac, you didn't care.

You then let the band snap in your stomach and you cum into Seonghwa's mouth, your hands matted in his hair as you do so. Seonghwa drinks up your arousal instantly and as soon as he's satisfied he's standing up again. He sits down beside you as you pant. He leans over to look up at you, those big boba eyes silently pleading for something.

"Baby, can we masturbate together?" he asks straight up and your eyes widen. His hand was already lingering around his twitching cock that was constantly leaking precum.

"S-Sure," you smile with a soft nod. You felt flustered by his direct question but you drew yourself back into the moment. Seonghwa softly palms his tip as he moans directly into your ear, his moans are soft and rather quiet but there is a hidden desperation in them. You hesitantly bring your fingers down between your legs, running a finger up your slit to collect up some of the arousal and cum there. You dip a finger inside yourself with ease and gasp softly, the feeling of your finger being squeezed and the intrusion in your pussy. Seonghwa is directly watching as he strokes his cock slowly, his arousal sticking to his hand loudly.

"Just like that darling," he kisses your jaw between moans. "You're so fucking hot," he bites his lip and you feel like you're masturbating with a stranger; it's been a long time since you've seen Seonghwa so lustful and dirty. There's this raw hunger in his voice that makes your spine tingle. He watches the way your fingers are drawn back out from your tight heat and he can't stop staring. "I could cum right fucking now baby," he growls as he fists himself harder, the side of his hand slapping against the base of his shaft.

Seonghwa's raw desire begins to rub off on you as he presses his sweaty body against yours. Without warning he jumps over the edge, cumming onto your stomach. You gasp softly as you watch his load spurt out onto your body. Your face flushes and your fingers slow, watching his massive load spill over. "Want my cock in your mouth babygirl," he brings his leg up to rest on the arm of the couch as he grabs your head. You gasp in surprise but your mouth is quickly filled with his cock. Seonghwa was acting so abruptly and demanding, not even giving you seconds to process what he was saying or doing.

He gently rolls his hips back and forth, forcing his cock to glide in and out of your mouth. "You're doing so good," he throws his head back as he holds your head, his hands tangled in your hair. "I know I'm being...forceful but I can't fucking help it," he whines lowly as sweat drips down his neck, bobbing along with his Adam's apple. He lets out a choked whimper. "As soon as I cum I feel like I'm gonna cum again...I feel like I fucking animal in heat," his fist tightens in your hair as his hips move harder, gagging you. Tears build in his eyes as he teeters over the edge. "Just a little longer..." he drops his head forward as he groans, sweat dripping off from the tip of his nose onto your chest.

He then unloads in your mouth, cramming his cock in your jaw. "Good girl," he growls loudly. He pulls his cock out quickly and watches as his cum pours from your mouth, his cock hardening again almost instantly. You cough softly before speaking.

"I'm sorry hwa, I didn't know it was that strong," you apologize sincerely, and he quickly pins you to the couch again.

"Don't apologize...I love it," he smirks softly and you watch as the sweat drips down his face. He lines his cock up with your entrance, rubbing his tip against it. "Let me fuck you, please," his head falls to your chest, his forehead leaving a print of sweat. "Just wanna fuck you, fill you up, make you mine," he whines before kissing your chest. "Make you scream," he trails his hands down your sides. "I know I've been rushing all night but..." he lets out a choked groan. "I need you," He sighs as he picks up his head to gauge your reaction.

"It is my fault you feel this way so..." You look down shyly before meeting his gaze. "Use me baby, use me until you're satisfied," You caress the side of his face, your hand collecting up some of the sweat. Seonghwa grins before pushing his hips forward, moaning as you envelop his cock with your tight heat.

"I'll try to go slow," He says between gentle groans.

"Don't worry about it. Use me until the buzz is gone," You smile softly and tangle your fingers into his damp hair. The long dark strands sticking to your hand. His hips move slow at first, taking his time to allow the pleasure between the two of you to build up, but eventually Seonghwa falls to his own lust once again. Seonghwa pants heavily as he pounds into you, his desire now building and slowly taking over.

"Can I cum inside baby?" He asks just to be sure.

"Of course," You nod with shaky breath, his cock never loses it's pace. His hips snap harder against yours as his breathing quickens as he grips onto your hips.

"Wanna fill you up and make you cum at the same time," He groans before leaning down, wrapping his arms around your body as his body weight begins to rest lightly against yours. "Are you getting close baby?" He asks as he feels your walls grip his cock. You nod in response and he smirks before biting your neck, sucking on the sweet and soft skin. His hands ghost over your body with a slight tremble of raw desire and hunger. "Cum for me," he growls into your ear. "Wanna see you feelin' good," he says before groaning, his cock twitching inside you.

You dig your nails into his back as the pleasure builds on layers, stacking one after another until your tumbling over.

"S-Seonghwa," you gasp softly as he smirks softly as he feels your warm wetness coating him.

"Good girl, Shh," he pets your hair before reaching his peak as well, his hot seed spurting out inside you. "Fuck," he gasps as his body goes limp against yours. "You did so good, I love you so much," he moans as he rests his sweaty head on your chest. He shakily wraps his arms around you and holds you close as he pants heavily. "I think I've worn it all out," he sighs. "I'm exhausted," Seonghwa chuckles softly and you smile before slicking back his hair

[fuwaprince]

No hot water, no electricity, I haven't eaten but a few bites of food and I don't think I had any water. I don't know what will help. I'm too tired to go to the store. Too sad to change my pad. I refuse to leave loved ones in this position. Would someone in this position abandon their baby just because a stranger offered you to sleep in their bed or on their floor...? Maybe but not happily. I returned here after abandoning a friend once to continue living like this and people treated me badly in spite of me doing everything right. It's a caste system. I can't beat monopolistic observers at their own game and I can't opt out of being a pawn. They're choosing to let me die here, or in a hospital where they medically abuse me or in jail where they deny me water for crying too much. I'm not allowed to exist anywhere unless I'm fined. People who call police on me or an ambulance even in the instance I might be dying before them on the streets fail to realize that the debt accrued from all that is a death sentence in itself. I can't pay back what I owe as is for hospital stays against my will and medication I didn't consent to and wasn't informed about. I can't pay back the debt from school for dropping out mid semester because disaster struck and I had no place for a foundation. I applied for financial aid and they asked for that money back knowing I was begging to begin with. My medical and food assistance are both fucked because I don't stay in the same county I applied in because it's not like I have any one place to exist.

I'm just going where the wind takes me. I'm tired. I'm sad. I have loved ones that are dying and I can't be with them. I have loved ones I can't take care of and I can't take care of myself. The best thing I feel like I can do is sleep and never wake up but how could that ever be a good resolution?

This one guy says he sends all his love my way sometimes... but it's empty. It's just a pretty phrase he says to be polite and charming. I'm not loved thought. Love endures and doesn't abandon. I'm not sure what to do.

The people who want to help can't and the people who can help won't. The people I try to help along the way steal everything I have from me. It's a take and take and take and I'm picked to the bone like a Christmas turkey.

Merry belated Christmas. Please help me and the people closest to you. Please practice human kindness and unconditional love. Don't perpetuate the hateful narrative that life is all doom and gloom. Don't let love and hope die out. Keep being loving and hopeful and have faith. Be proactive instead of in denial please so people like me and my friends don't die like we probably will. I slept on the cold ground while it was raining last night and hugged for warmth. People tell me to stay alone who I ask help from. I'm tired of being failed and turned away. Begging gets me punched in the face.

What can we do but blog about it? There's no getting over it for me. You all have the luxury and freedom to not care about my situation and life. I wish I was in that boat but for some reason I can't even get over it happening to loved ones. I can't just care less and feel better about that. I would be a monster to sleep well at night knowing what happens to them.

Hey friends and followers. It's me again. Please send what support you can. I could really use it. I'm about to be back on the street after finally getting a job. I'm still homeless and need help. I'm begging for my life. Please please please help me. I don't have any family who can. I'm basically alone out here. Please donate

paypal

cashapp

[sturnlsstuff]

FAMILIAR STRANGER | chapter seven

what's gonna happen when you find out about your enemy's biggest secret?

ghostface!chris x enemy!reader

chapter six

— warnings; smut with plot, dom!chris, sub!reader, pet names, bratty reader, cursing, - english isn't my first language.

~~~

chris had been annoyed for almost a week, snapping at everyone around him including his brothers. spending most of his time outside, doing his thing, taking his frustration out on whoever he could. it was starting to get really bad, the constant informations about murders on TV made the whole city live in even bigger fear, feeling someone's breath on their necks. the ghostface killer became everything people could talk about, his name on everyone's tongues. chris would appreciate the attention he's getting since it was always something he'd want, but not in this situation.

he wasn't only mad because you called him out unintentionally, not realizing how right you were. though chris knew and couldn't stop thinking about that he in fact didn't tell you it's just a hook up. he'd tell himself he just wasn't sure, but sure about what? wanting more? ending it? he was just so confused, but also upset noticing you've been ignoring him for the past week without knowing why. was it because you two fucked again? because he's a stupid idiot and left instead of telling you he maybe wants something more? he was obsessed with you since he remembered, only now realizing that.

it was little things, like the way he was always in the room you were in when you came over to see his brothers, even if it was just to argue with you, which he secretly loved. he always kept an eye on you at parties, making sure everything was fine. when it was your birthday he would order pizza to your apartment, knowing how much you loved that food and leaving you wonder who was sending it to you every year. chris knew a lot about you, always checking how you were feeling, sometimes even unintentionally making it worse when you were sad. when he tried to find out why you're in a bad mood, you just shouted at him, which made him angry too and he'd always ruin your mood even more, later regretting it. but he could never apologize, his ego wouldn't let him admit that he somehow cared about you. even if in his own fucked up way. he liked to explain it to himself that it's only because you're important to nick and matt, but really now he realized that maybe there was other reason too. a reason which was scaring the hell out of him.

he doesn't see you anywhere. you're not in the hallways on campus, you're not hanging out with his brothers. he even wants to ask them why but he doesn't want to arouse suspicion. he expects you to text him again for another talk, or even to yell at him for being a moron, but there's nothing.

by tuesday, he's a nervous wreck, pacing around in his room. without realizing it, he's grown accustomed to bumping into you at least once a day, even if it's just for a few minutes. the silence is deafening.

unable to take the uncertainty anymore, chris finds himself standing outside your door, his fist raised to knock. he hesitates, his heart pounding in his chest. what if you don't wanna see him and you tell him to fuck off? you probably will, which is pretty normal for you two, but damn. he believes you're avoiding him and he hates it for some reason.

when he finally decides to knock, the sound echoes in the quiet hallway as he uncomfortably waits, starting to regret that already, his stomach twisting with nerves. when you don't immediately answer, he once again is ready to go and climb through your window, hoping you won't push him out of that, but then the door unlocks and crack opened.

it's pretty clear to see how tired you look, standing there wrapped in a blanket, the hood of your hoodie put over your head. it hits him like a punch in the gut, your hair all messed up, face flushed. a frown appears between his eyebrows, "you're.. sick?"

"as you can see," you answer, met with his intense gaze. you were confused, not expecting him here.

he shifts uncomfortably, stuffing his hands in his pockets, his eyes darting over your face, taking in every detail. "you look like shit."

you roll your eyes, stepping back to let him in, closing the door behind you two when he gets inside. "thank you, that's the nicest thing you said to me in a while," your voice dripping with sarcasm as you go back on the couch where you've been hiding for the last week, tissues scattered on the coffee table. he toes off his shoes, watching as you retreat to the sofa, "you've been ignoring me." he follows you, settling beside you.

you pull the blanket up higher, looking at him in confusion, "no, i was sick. i still am." chris crosses his arms, his brow furrowing skeptical, "convenient timing." he grumbles, "you're always out and 'bout, but suddenly you're sick after you—"

"i what?" you question, but he just shakes his head, suddenly annoyed that he almost said too much. he wasn't gonna let you know he's been thinking about what you said to him last time he was at your place. "nothing really, doesn't matter. m'just sayin'.. whatever," he huffs, looking away. "jus' wanted to see if you're not dying or some shit, that's all."

"awww, how cute," your eyes narrow at him, a small smile plays on your lips. "careful, i'll think you're worried."

"don't piss me off," he mutters. you're curious if he came here to fuck again or is there was another reason, so you bluntly ask, "are you here to hook up again or what, 'cause if you are then i have to disappoint—"

"are you serious?" his face darkens, eyes flashing with irritation almost as he was offended that you can even think he's here only for that. "like, you're in any condition to..."" he gestures vaguely at your blanket-covered form. "-- i came here to check on ya, not to... do whatever." you watch him curiously, tilting your head to the side. catching your stare, he adds, "m'not that much of an asshole."

"hmm— lowkey doubt it..." you hum with a smirk, making him to lost his mind. "so you thought i'm ignoring you and came here to check?"

chris's jaw clenches, he now feels stupid when he knows you weren't avoiding him at all, you just have the flu. "i didn't know what to think a'ight?"

you see something strange in his behavior so you decide to tease him a little more, knowing how annoyed he's gonna get. "it kinda looks like you'd care if i'm mad or not—"

"i don't," he cuts you off, his tone defensive. "i mean, i don't, like... whatever, i don't know, i jus' wanted to see what's your problem with me this time."

"well, i don't have one," you shrug and cough, reaching for tea from the coffee table to take a sip. chris sighs, rubbing his temples in irritation, "yeah, now i know." he looks back at you, his gaze lingering on your flushed face. "you ate anythin'?"

you shake your head, sipping on tea and putting the mug down, "a bit but food kind of disgusts me right now."

"that's dumb as fuck, you won't get better if you—" he sighs giving up, and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a glimmer of genuine concern in his eyes despite his gruff demeanor. "food won't kill ya, got any crackers or somethin'?"

you wave your hand dismissively, "somewhere in the kitchen, but i don't wa—" chris already disappears in your kitchen, muttering under his breath something about stubborn girls and their refusal to listen. he's back not even two minutes later with a box of crackers, setting them between you two on the couch as he settles down next to you again. "eat," he says firmly. "you gotta keep up your strength somehow even if you don't feel like eating," he crosses his arms over his chest, clearly not taking 'no' for an answer.

with another eye roll, you reach out opening the box and pulling out a cracker. he watches with critical eye as you eat, "was that so hard?" you shrug as chris plucks a cracker from the box without asking, popping it into his mouth.

his one arm is draped over the top of the couch, he munches on crackers, his gaze occasionally flicking towards you as you nibble on yours. both of you quiet, he's lost in thought, noticing your heated cheeks just as you sneeze. with a grimace, you mutter, "you're gonna get sick too."

he shrugs nonchalantly, a smirk playing on his lips, "if i do, i do. somebody's gotta take care of your pathetic ass, so--"

"i can take perfect care of myself—" as you say that you sneeze again, reaching for a tissue. you felt gross and him seeing you like this was making it worse.

"right," he shakes his head amused. "a real independent badass. that's why you're sweating your ass off, sneezing and sniffling every two minutes?"

"that's what a sick person does, moron-" you respond, taking another sip of tea. chris rolls his eyes dramatically, "y'know if you weren't so stubborn, i'd feel bad f'ya."

"i don't need that—" another sneeze, your eyes half opened now and slightly reddish. he sighs, watching you, something weird in his chest that he only felt around his brothers before when they were sick. he didn't want to believe he might be worried.

"do you, uh... you're like all red and shit, just— lemme--" he hesitates before reaching out to touch your forehead, checking your temperature. "you're really hot—" he murmurs, then frowns at how it sounded. "i mean your forehead is."

"am i?" you tease him a bit with a small smile, then coughing, your cheeks flush an even brighter red as you do. he rolls his eyes again, "yeah, really funny... you're like burnin' up-" he reaches out to touch your neck, checking for any other signs of a fever. you flinch at the sensation of his cold hand against your heated skin.

he's fast to check your temperature, a few minutes later urging you to put a damp cloth on your forehead and taking some meds he found in your kitchen. he's not used to taking care of anyone and the unfamiliarity of the situation is clearly written on his face. "you're fuckin' out of it... jesus—" he mutters to himself, "fuckin' overheating like crazy... you look so pathetic right now-"

"thanks," your voice dripping with sarcasm as you cough again, removing the hood from your head and adjusting the wet cloth on your skin. you wipe your nose with a tissue, just as he says, "disgusting."

"don't have to tell me things i already know," you tuck yourself more under the blanket. a genuine smile tugging at his lips, "someone's gotta keep you in check." you scoff at that, leaning your head back, eyes watery and barely opened. the fever was clearly getting to you. "gonna sleep?" you answer him with a shrug, so after a moment of silence he asks, "want me to go?"

despite his question, he makes no move to leave, clearly seeing as wheels turn in your head, but it was hard to think in that state. it felt even nice to not be alone right now. "you can stay, is whatever..."

"whatever... right," he repeats, pulling out his phone to occupy himself while you get curled up on the couch, your head close to his thigh.

it's how you both spend another twenty minutes in comfortable silence broken only by your sniffling. chris glances at the tv every now and then, not really paying attention and mostly focusing on his phone, until he hears your barely audible words.

"you think i'm a bitch, but i'd never snitch on you—" you're half asleep, whispering. "not only because matt is involved, but also 'cause it's you.... i can be the only one ruining your life—" another sniff, "if someone else would do that, where's my satisfaction in that?"

he looks at the back of your head, feeling his heart leap into his throat at your words, which you definitely would never say if you weren't in this state.

"good..." he finally speaks up, licking his lips. "good, 'cause, uh— i wouldn't want you to snitch on me... it'd be, y'know— it'd, like, maybe even upset me a lil' bit... i guess-"

he cuts himself off, noticing your body is more relaxed now. his brow furrowed in thought as he leans forward to see your face, your breathing evens out, your body in deep sleep. he glances at your flushed from fever face, your mouth slightly opened as you breathe heavily. chris feels relieved and annoyed at the same time, realizing that you didn't hear his answer.

"fuck that," he curses to himself, nudging the blanket higher up your back and adjusting the damp cloth on your forehead, also checking if you were still burned up. it was late already and you did tell him to stay, but now you were asleep and he had no clue what to do. there was no way he's gonna just leave when you have such a fever. if something happened everyone would blame him. so he stays, telling himself he has to, not because he wants to.

quickly texting his brothers that he's at a "friend's" house and doesn't know when he'll be back, chris hesitantly shifts his position so that he's leaning against the arm of the couch with his legs stretched out behind you. almost as if you knew he's laying beside you or felt the heat radiating from him, you shifted around so he was able to see your face, the way you settle against his thigh makes chris tense at first, unaccustomed to such unguarded, innocent contact. but as you continue to sleep, your arm wrapping around his thighs by itself, head moving to rest on his lap. he's actually frozen, not used to this with anyone, let alone you. he tells himself it's only because you're sick and do stuff you wouldn't usually do. so at some point he finally relaxes, his own eyelids growing heavy while listening to your steady breathing and the quiet sounds from tv.

chris jerks awake at some point during the night, realizing that his arm has gone numb from you sleeping on it and the way you kept coughing. he blinks slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the tv before looking down at you, draped across his lap like a blanket. he gingerly pries your hand off his thigh, hissing at the pins and needles sensation. he massages his arm to get the blood flowing again, his other hand automatically checking your temperature. cooler than before, but still warm. as you shift in your sleep, coughing again, a flicker of concern passes chris's face before it's quickly replaced by his usual scowl. he debates whether to wake you or let you sleep, knowing that rest is probably best for your recovery, but once your head falls off his lap, he knows he has to wake you up. he catches your head before it hits the cushion, gently putting it back onto his lap.

he props himself on one elbow, giving your shoulder a gentle shake, "hey, kid— wake up--" he watches as your eyebrows furrow in your sleep, head rolling from side to side on his lap. he sighs, shaking you a little harder, "wake up, would ya?"

once your eyelids flutter open, finding his face, he explains gruffly, "you keep coughing in your sleep."

you rub your eyes confused like a sleepy child, "what time is it?" chris glances at his phone, squinting slightly, "almost four in the mornin'." he grumbles, tucking his phone back into his pocket, "you've been out for a while."

"oh," you grimace at the thought, sitting up to grab the cold now tea from the coffee table. you take a sip, sighing with relief when your throat automatically feels less dry. chris watches you so intensely that you finally look at him, noticing his messy hair and flushed cheeks, realizing he had to sleep with you here. "you, uh– wanna go? nick and matt are probably--"

"i texted 'em that i'll be late," he cuts you off. "i don' really feel like leaving now. unless you want me to go."

surprisingly for not only you, but chris himself, you shake your head, putting the mug down. "move..."you shift, the damp cloth from your forehead falling down. chris catches it as you move higher on the couch, he obediently shifts sideways, wincing slightly as his joints protest the movement. he glances at you, noting the weariness etched into your features.

"uh, m'gonna go get this wet, you're kinda burnin' up still—"

"no-" you take the material from him, throwing it somewhere aside. you were not having it, all you wanted is to go back to sleep and the heat radiating from chris's body was enough to put you in that state again.

he remains silent almost as waiting for your next move, you wriggle out of the blanket, a faint sheen of sweat on your forehead. he raises his eyebrow, a mix of amusement and concern, "ain't you gettin' a lil' bit too comfortable?"

"can you shut up?" you mutter, chris's gaze drifting down to your midriff noticing that your hoodie has ridden up. he hesitates briefly before reaching out to pull the fabric back down, tugging it securely around your figure. you both are laying on your sides, facing each other, you curled up with your head slightly touching his shoulder. chris shifts awkwardly, realizing he's essentially spooning you on this tiny couch. "cozy, huh?" he asks dryly, trying to ignore how natural this close contact feels. "mhm..." you're already drifting off, nuzzling closer, not letting him get up at all, so he's not even trying.

you're fast to fall asleep, but he's up for some more minutes. barely awake he inhales sharply as he feels your arm wrapping around his waist in your sleep. he frowns, looking at you through half-opened eyes, before somehow relaxing, resigned to this intimate position. "drivin' me fuckin' crazy..." he mutters to himself, then carefully repositions himself, so he's half-lying against you, his body providing some semblance of comfort and warmth. his hand somehow ends up stroking your hair as his body lull into a light sleep, telling himself he's doing all that to make you feel better, to help you cool down, but part of him knows it's bullshit. he'd never expect himself to end up cuddling anyone, let alone you or playing some kind of nurse but here he is.

waking up a few hours later hits chris like a truck, the cuddling felt like a fever dream even if he wasn't the one who was sick. he's laying there almost frozen, waiting for you to wake up which you do almost an hour after him.

he feels you stir awake and glances down at you , your face scrunched up slightly, a grimace on your lips. "fuckin' finally, i was getting tired of being your personal pillow-" his voice laced with mockery as he tries to keep casual the fact that you two were all over each other all night. not in the way he's used to, at least.

confusion is written all over your face as you open your eyes and realize you're practically glued to his side. you look up, noticing his face is too close to yours, so you're fast to almost immediately removing your hands from him and prop yourself up on your elbow to put some distance between the two of you.

his expression was unreadable, "clung to me like a koala or some shit..." he studies your face, taking in the way your hair is plastered to your forehead with sweat, you're slightly pale now, dark circles evident under your eyes.

"my bad," that's all you say before he simply puts his hand on your cheeks, making your heart skip a beat. "no fever," he states. "--at least i guess so." you reply with a nod, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. you felt much better, but mentally strange knowing that chris stayed the night and took care of you. plus you looked disgusting, all sweaty, which now made the embarrassment grown within you.

"i should shower-"

"yeah, you should," he says sarcastically causing you to give him a typical for you death stare. he adds with a smirk, "what? you do smell like a sick person..."

"alright, i'm aware, thanks," you roll your eyes. the tension in the room was filled with unspoken words and something strange you couldn't name. chris runs a hand through his hair and stands up, "m'gonna go if you feel better now." you glance at him when he adds, "unless y'want me to get you somethin', like, make tea or whatever. can be even a kick in the ass–"

"ha, ha, real funny," you mutter but the corner of your lips twitches in amusement. "no, i'm good. emma is supposed to come later today soo..."

he nods and moves towards the door, before your full of hesitation voice stops him. "hey, chris-" he looks over his shoulder, "thanks."

surprise flickers in his eyes but he's quick to hide it, "yeah, no big deal."

though as he was leaving, you could've sworn he crack a little smile.

—

chris spent the rest of the day overthinking, which quickly turned into irritation, and he finally decided he just needs advice. he couldn't take being alone with these thoughts anymore. someone has to agree with him that he still doesn't like you and he doesn't want more than physical stuff.

that's how he ended up in matt's room.

matt was looking at his brother with blank expression, more shocked that chris finally admitted that he hooked up with you more than the fact it actually happened.

"the fuck do you mean by that?" chris is taken back after telling matt everything what was going on between him and you, and all he got in response was a simple "i knew."

"i mean, that i knew it'd happen at some point... but it's still kinda crazy to think about."

"yeah, you don't say," chris rolls his eyes, shifting uncomfortably on the wheel chair and clearing his throat. "but is, like, we fucked twice already, yeah? but i ended up this night at her place and we didn't do it again."

"she didn't want to anymore?"

"no— no, is not that... she was sick." matt looks at his brother in confusion, questioning, "sick?" chris nods, "yeah, had a fuckin' fever so i helped her out 'n shit."

"helped her- like how?"

"how?" chris gives him a stare, "the fuck do you think? gave her some meds, put some damp cloth on her head so the fever would go away. that's how."

matt blinks slowly, trying to process everything what he's hearing now, before asking carefully, "so- wait, so do you like her or...?"

"what? no- i— of course not–- she's just hot, that's all..." chris stumbles over his words at matt's blunt question even if he himself was thinking of that too much for his liking. and he needed his brother to tell him it doesn't look like chris likes you at all.

"so it's only physical?"

"i... i guess-- like, yeah. only physical."

"but you slept at her place and took care of her, so how is it only physical?"

chris felt like he was talking to a dumbass, literally. for him it was clear as day. he gets a bit defensive, "bro, i fuckin' went to her place and saw her lookin' all shitty, burnin' up. what'd you want me to do?"

"you could call me or nick," matt raises his eyebrow. "if you found her in that state, you could call anyone, but you decided to take care of her."

chris feels his blood boil at the sudden call out, only now realizing that it was true. he could've called his brothers or even emma, but his first thought was to just stay with you.

he remains silent, clenching his jaw immediately regretting everything he told matt, because now it was making everything worse. though matt doesn't back up and asks, "why did you even go to her place? to hook up again?"

chris runs his hand through his hair in frustration, avoiding his brother's gaze. "nah, i was actually... uh, i kind of thought she was ignorin' me so i wanted to check—" he catches matt's stare, adding, "jus' didn't see her for a week, i was confused."

"and what if she was ignoring you? aren't you already used to that?"

"is different now—"

"why?"

"what, why?! 'cause i fucked her and she was all silent 'n i thought i— that-- i don't know, i just... had to make sure we're good."

"okay," matt fights the urge to smile. "okay, so was she ignoring you?"

"no, dumb fuck, she was sick." matt replies with a nod and can't hold back a smirk, leaning against the headboard. his expression and the silence pissed chris off even more. he snaps, "what the fuck would you do, like actually?! 'n don't say this bullshit that i could call someone, 'cause yeah i could, but i didn't. so what, you expected me to leave her? would you leave?"

"the difference is that she's my friend," matt says calmly, clearly enjoying this situation. "-- and you claim to hate her."

"but m'not a dick, a'ight? if you hated someone but saw them in that state, would you not care at all?"

"not really," he retorts bluntly making chris scoff. "i wouldn't take care of 'em but i'd call someone who i know would do it."

"oh, fuck you," chris rolls his eyes annoyed. "whatever. it doesn't matter anyway."

"i guess it does if you're telling me all that," he retorts. "so are you sure it's only physical?"

fuck. matt was supposed to help him, but all the things he said made chris even more confused. it helped him realize that maybe he did care a little about you, which was irritating as fuck to him. a frown appears between his eyebrows as he ignores the question and asks instead, "wait, but how did you know? that me and her might..."

"oh, that? please," matt waves his hand dismissively. "you're my brother, she's my friend, it was quite clear to tell with the constant back and forth you two have and the tension that comes with it. besides, she found out that you're the ghostface and she didn't say shit. in my opinion it's not because of me and the fact i'm involved too, i think she deadass doesn't want you to be in trouble. so something is up."

his words trigger a strange wave of emotions in chris, reminding him of what you told him while you were half-conscious and falling asleep. you didn't want him to have any problems or for something to happen to him, that's the reason why you're still quiet about what he's doing.

he came to matt's room for a simple advice but was leaving even more confused and annoyed, realizing everything he was always so scared of, was becoming reality.

a/n: i kinda hate everything i write lately so for me this chapter is so... 🧍‍♀️😐 sigh...... i'll try to post the next (and last !!) chapter before new year's. hope y'all had good christmas !! 🤍

taglist: @certifiedstarrr @chrislovespepsi @le4hsblog @sturnsxbitvh @sweetlikesug4rvenom @xaristhings @mattsfavbitchhh @lvrsturniolo @r0s3luvr @slut4brunettes @madisonsturnioloss @chrispillowprincess @sturnioloslutttt4 @ashlishes @mattsbitchh @hi-people-who-are-alive @stellward123 @inssanely @matts-girlfriend @imnotalive420 @emely9274 @shadowthesim @yunkilm @sophiaxsblog @namelesssav @demyackerman @fratbrochrisgf @lvrsturniolo @chrisweetheart @chrisfavoritewhore @sturnslutz @ncm9696 @certified-sturniolo @mattsobvimyfav @swagalicious260 @giannalovessturniolo @sophand4n4 @brazyturtleneck @jocelyncsblog

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP6-EP7: "You think I'd go on living if you died?"

I'm sure everyone is still wiping away the snot from their face thanks to Episode 6's brutal ending. I want to talk about how next week's preview shows we're leading into the best invitation for reconciliation as far as Bison and Kant are concerned. Let me explain.

In the wake of Bison being confronted with the awful truth, he will likely assume (in the immediate instance) that everything - every single thing Kant has said and done was a total lie - a strategically crafted fabrication to get him hooked, including Kant's feelings. That Kant never loved him at all, it was all an act. We as an audience know that's not true but Bison doesn't.

With Bison getting shot next episode, this forces Kant to drop his mask in the most revealing way possible. In the face of losing Bison, this becomes the catalyst for Kant turning the tables, and proves twofold:

Kant's panic over Bison possibly dying indicates he genuinely cares about him. His entire demeanour during this incident will be under the eyes of everyone present including Fadel and Style. If there was any doubt about Kant's feelings, there won't be now.

Kant can no longer lie to himself. He can't live without Bison (by his own later admission). Throughout EP6, Kant's been trying to assure Style he will move on once this whole situation has blown over, but Kant's simply telling his best friend what he wished he could convince himself of. He tries to believe that he can give up Bison and be okay, that it will all be worth it if it means protecting Babe. But deep down he knows he won't be. This confirms it.

So firstly, Bison will witness just how much Kant cares about him. It doesn't deny the fact that Kant lied to him, but the truth is Kant has also undoubtedly fallen in love with him. The man sits by Bison's bedside sobbing and inconsolable, and I anticipate Kant may well confess why he did what he did whilst Bison is 'unconscious', who may recall some or all of what he says when he wakes.

Secondly, Kant will decide that he can no longer put Bison in any kind of jeopardy and that means: 'fuck the mission'. He's going to have to turn on Chris, and aid Bison and Fadel to escape the pursuit from the police that he helped them gain progress with. Chris already suspects that Kant has fallen for Bison which makes him a huge liability. Sealed by either by his own active choices to defy the police, or in Chris' eyes, Kant has effectively chosen to put a huge target on his back. By extension Babe is no longer safe either.

In the preview, we also see Bison disappear from the hospital, just as Chris plans to apprehend him. It's likely that the next time they meet, Bison has been in hiding (probably watching Kant from the shadows) before he intervenes to help. It could be that Kant is being hunted down by the cops or Mother. For Bison to do this shows he's already on the road towards forgiveness, having observed Kant and processed what he now knows. It's far more complicated than he first assumed, and he's willing to hear Kant out. They're ready to start the path to reconciliation and face what's to come together.

On a final note, I've been speculating who may be the ones leading the attack at the bowling alley. The obvious guess would be the police. But for some reason, I have a wild feeling it could be Keen. (I remember Pepper being on set when these four were filming for this scene). It's possible for example that Mother finds out it's Kant and Style who are the informants and Keen tries to score some brownie points by taking them out. In the heat of the moment, Bison protects Kant on instinct and gets shot. Now that would make this all the more heart-wrenching wouldn't it?

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating in real time as the show airs.

[marshmellin]

Regarding the Eldar and Sexy Sex | Analysis of the Laws and Customs Among the Eldar within Tolkein's Lore

A.K.A Let the elves be horny. Textually, there is no reason they can't if we're creative.

The concept I am analyzing: An unfinished essay describes the Elven view of marriage vows which cannot be broken. In sum: Some have interpreted this text as saying that Elves can not/will not have sexual activity (“bodily union”) outside marriage.

The concept I have landed on: “Bodily union,” as described in this unpublished text can be interpreted as an intentional act that elven couples choose to perform. The term is not a catch-all for any or all types of sexual contact. In sum: I interpret that Elves can and could engage in a variety of sexual activities without creating marriage vows if they wished.

Below, I have shared how I came to this concept.

Mainly because I like to be canon compliant while letting elves get down.

Welcome to my TedTalk:

First, the facts:

“Laws and Customs Among the Eldar" (LaCE) is an unfinished, unpublished essay written by J.R.R. Tolkien. The notes and draft were published in Morgoth's Ring (Book 10), part of The History of Middle-earth compiled by Christopher Tolkien after his father's death.

LaCE is framed as an account written by Ælfwine, an Anglo-Saxon man. The text provides Ælfwine’s recounted views on various aspects of Elven life — and the BIG drama it creates in The Fandom™ is because of the traditions he recounts regarding marriage and childbirth, particularly. As mentioned above, the document declares that Elves who choose to marry do so once, and that due to their nature they do not commit adultery or even desire "bodily union" outside their marriage vows. Additionally, death itself does not override their vows. Partners will reunite in Valinor after leaving the Halls of Mandos.

AND SO: we must ask ourselves some questions about this Elf Sex document.

View the elf sex document here (it is in opposite of salacious. You may feel less turned on for 2-3 business days after reading it, idk.) Starts on page 289. Another section in the same PDF is the story of Finwë legal-argument-ing his way into bagging yet another unsuspecting baddie.

Let us assume the document is a relatively accurate depiction of Elven customs:

Portions from the text:

“It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete…but it was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to another without ceremony or witness (save blessings exchanged and the naming of the Name); and the union so joined was alike indissoluble. In days of old, in times of trouble, in flight and exile and wandering, such marriages were often made.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: 1) Witnesses are not needed, only the vows or bodily union. 2) This marriage-on-the-go situation was necessary even though the elves, as a group, agree not to marry in times of strife.….. as a race of beings, they do in fact get down bad enough to fuck and marry on the run while continents sink. Passion is there, ok.

“And the union of bodies in marriage is unique, and no other union resembles it.” (emphasis mine).

Marsh’s translation: Since bodily union in the context of marriage is specifically called out as both unique and highlighted as different from other unions, this suggests or, at the least leaves room for the interpretation, that there are other forms of touch and union that do not fall under this unique label of bodily union or consummation of marriage.

This leads us to the next logical question: what types of touch, connection and sensations (union) can occur between two Eldar that do not rise to the level of consummating marriage/a unique bodily union? Kissing? I can think of several ways to live a life worthy of an Explicit rating on AO3 and still avoid "bodily union" as Tolkien intends. And the Eldar have had a lot longer to think about it than I have.

“Nonetheless among the Eldar, even in Aman, the desire for marriage was not always fulfilled. Love was not always returned; and more than one might desire one other for spouse.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ romantic tension, baybeeee. Elf romantic triangles and quadrilaterals confirmed! But more seriously, I have several questions: firstly, Finwë how dare you.

Second point related to the above: since elves often do not err in choosing spouses, but two elves can love the same person, this suggests love and marriage =/=. We knew this already, but given the astounding number of random-ass elves who fall in love by sight in glades or meadows, I felt the need to be clear.

Third question re: elven love triangles. It the third unrequited person who isn’t loved in return just like….done with romance? RIP, buddy, your shot at intimacy was brief and sad. OR can they desire another again?

“…the Eldar would beget children only in days of happiness and peace if they could.” (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ They try not to marry or have kids during times of strife, cool we get that. But this is an interesting thing to highlight in the 8ish pages of “this is Elves and how they sex” that Ælfwine has room for. The note that they try not to have kids (tenuously) suggests couples may be able to control when they have children. I’m not sure if the elven pull out method is particularly proven (think not. looking at you Fëanor, get OFF her).

Additionally, I would not be surprised if, due to the amount of life force necessary to bring forth an elven child (again, Fëanor, damn, dude) the parents can choose to or choose not to conceive during bodily union within the confines of marriage. However, I want to note this one is a quite the reach on my part. Slogan suggestion: who needs the pill when you have the strength of will?

“They are not easily deceived by their own kind; and their spirits being masters of their bodies, they are seldom swayed by the desires of the body only, but are by nature continent and steadfast. Doubtless they would retain for many ages the power of generation, if the will and desire were not satisfied; but with the exercise of the power the desire soon ceases, and the mind turns to other things. The union of love is indeed to them great delight and joy, and the ‘days of the children’, as they call them, remain in their memory as the most merry in life; but they have many other powers of body and of mind which their nature urges them to fulfil." (emphasis mine)

Marsh’s Translation: ^^ they’re horny until they have kids and raise them and all. And then, because there truly are only so many positions and kinks to try over thousands of years, they start to pick up a new hobby and are generally less horny.

But does this does equate to, “and then, when the kids leave for Elf State College, all sexual energy dies and couples live in separate rooms until the breaking of the world because one parter has taken up elven embroidery and the other now practices music and they’re simply too busy learning French Knots and the French Horn to fuck? They're sexually repressed because of the embroidery and instruments, you see.”

I say nay. Less horny =/= never horny. Focus on other desires =/= abandonment of all previous desires. Saying elves get it on more during their sometimes 100+ years-long honeymoon period is like….yes. And sometimes, if you squint, you’ll notice that the sky is, in fact, blue. (An aside to this section: The elves who saved Ælfwine’s human butt on the shores of Tol Eressëa and filled him in on how Elves work did mention Finwë in their account, but our Anglodude decided to give us a separate account of that, using this to focus instead on "Noldor Wedding Customs." So apparently avert your gaze from the published account of how Finwë, first High King of the Noldor, married twice while in Valinor, despite one wife’s spirit still residing in the Halls and their marriage still being valid, just because he reeeeaaaaaalllllly desired another wife and to have more kids. Really. Really. Desired. It. So he lit'rally lawyered up in front of Manwë and co. to ask suuuuuuuuper nicely if he could marry this second woman he knows that isn’t his wife. He makes a few relatively odd arguments, and now his ass has two wives via special Valar Approved Adultery. This doesn’t, doesn’t count as something Noldor do -- nah, they don't desire more than one person, it's just that one dude….) Sure, Jan.

Let us consider couplings between the Eldar and other Children of Illúvatar or Ainur NOT discussed in the text:

We know those couplings are rare, but they do exist and lead to children (Hi, Elrond! Hi, Eldarion!). Do parings between Elves and Men/Maiar require vows for marriage, or, like between two Eldar, can “bodily union” alone marry them?

If “bodily union” alone binds the Eldar and the Edain, do the Edain know this/is this information regarding bodily union = vows readily available to all Children of Illúvatar? It would seem odd to not specifically mention that as an outcome to Men -- and yet, we have no other true textual support that the bodily union between Elves results in marriage. Like, if we take this at face value, do drunk one-night stands between a mortal and elf turn into “whoops, all marriage!” 😬

If “bodily union” between the Eldar and Edain does not marry these couples, are there Edain/mortal brothels for elves who are stressed tf out but do not seek marriage or "bodily union." For example, I dunno, maybe someone who happens to be a High King named Gil-galad? Or, perhaps, even, an Ereinion? (Yes. For full information, see my published works).

What about bodily union with an Ainur/Maia and an Elf? Did Thingol and Melian need to take vows? Or was Forest Eye Sex™ enough for them to be wed when they finally hauled their asses out of the enchanted woods and still failed to apologize to Círdan for literally causing him to be abandoned? 👀 Questions continue to abound.

Let us ask if the document is reliable in-universe:

The document is written in-universe by an Anglo-Saxon Man who was not related or married to a member of the Eldar, writing in 800something AD after managing to make his way to Aman. He heard this second-hand from other Elves. His b-day is not even close to the Year of the Trees. As readers, we should consider whether his narration is reliable or not for this reason alone. (“What’s your source? Trust me, bro?”)

Which brings me to my next point:

Unless we see other elven-generated sources or statements supporting his view, his research is unsupported — Oh but wait!! He HAS a source. A group of elves who saved him from a ship wreck shared some facts and he wrote them down after he got back so….about as good as being there, tbh. 😑 There's no way in hell an Elf would lie to a Man or play a joke on the weird dude asking invasive questions about your sacred marriage customs, right?

Let us question the document as it exists in our world:

It was published in “Morgoth’s Ring” (book 10) as part of The History of Middle Earth, Christopher Tolkein notes inaccuracies: “my impression is that my father had not fully planned its structure when he began”. Christopher also notes that it clear the document was written from the perspective of a Man and not a member of the Eldar.

Tolkien was wingin' it and he winged too close to the sun, so to speak.

Tolkien wrote this, but also noted questions in his own margins and some of his own logic is in conflict with other published works of his (Finwë, as always, is the exception of all exceptions along with Fëanor -- menaces, both). While many of the stories that Tolkien tells throughout LOTR about elves involve monogamy, we are not shown the other aspects of elven sexualities or lifecycles in those texts as in this unfinished LaCE text. This work remained unpublished during Tolkien’s time, in part, it would seem from Christopher Tolkien’s view, because the views in this in-universe texts did not fit smoothly into the world and relationships Tolkien had already built. (He didn't have it planned). This document did not come before, Tolkien was backing into it and he still was dissatisfied with it.

Finally, let us be frfr:

We all know Tolkien did not intend for the elves to have smutty, explicit times outside marriage. He likely didn’t plan for any of his characters to experience that within his world outside of a vow.

AO3 did not exist in his time. He didn’t know, folks. He didn’t know what we’d do and what we would write. (Side q: when was the word smut invented?)

^^^ To put a finer point on this that is less of a joke: Tolkien quite likely did not expect derivative works to be created from his universe. From an authorial point of view, he was less likely to view his work as what his narrative choices could or could not allow others to do with their own stories in his world. He rightly focused on whether his ongoing writing choices impacted the validity of his past stories.

If Tolkien chose to change something in his world, he had the final word on it (even if he was wrong with Gil-galad's parentage and I stand on that and so does Christopher amen). He was known for writing and rewriting maps, elven ages tables, parentages, etc to fit his vision as needed and as his fictional universe grew. The LaCE document is a draft and he did not finish it because he did not need the customs finalized for his other works to, well, work — he already wrote most of his elven characters as following this pattern of relationships, even if he did not have a document to define it.

Tolkien was an upper-middle-class Catholic Englishman writing from a personal lens; while his body of work is not a Catholic work, we can not fully ignore the author’s religion when analyzing a story that includes clear in-universe religious systems devised by a devoutly Catholic man. And, to be equally plain, is quite gah-damn clear what a man born in 1892 with JRR’s background, religion and education means to communicate to his audience when he says “bodily union”.….

But language changes. Context changes. Use changes. Meaning changes. AO3 has been invented.

Let. The. Eldar. Be. Horny.

Last Thots:

Many a writer out there *waves arms broadly* working with elves in Tolkien’s universe may feel the need to write them as a pretty straight-laced race of beings: no open lust, no sex outside marriage, unbreakable oaths. These are aspects aligned with the way Tolkien portrays elves, and so many fics featuring some of our faves will pair elves with others who are their betrothed or intended or spouse – a relationship that fits within the shown framework of elven sexuality. Sometimes writers will make some complex (and cool!) rationales to allow characters to move around the “rules”.

Love these fics. LOVE THEM. Give me all the betrothal and intended and sneakylink hijinks you can.

….but don’t keep these lovely people sexually repressed unless you want to. For fun 😉

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 8

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! Plz don’t forget to like & rb. It means the world to me! :)

Remy’s POV

“Look at you. You don’t even respect your fucking self, man.” Billie mumbled, barely making any sense. Her eyes looked angry, bothered, annoyed. It wasn’t her.

“Let’s go home, you’re drunk as fuck. You don’t mean that.”

She swayed to the bass in place, slightly nodding her head to the beat. I didn’t even notice how much time had passed, standing there awkwardly to the side of the dance floor. Finneas came up to us. He had probably seen her yank her arm away and wondered what was going on.

“Let’s head out. She’s had too much.” I pointed towards the exit.

He took one look at her and nodded, calling the car out to the front.

“No! Fuck it, I do mean it. You’re too fucking scared to take a risk, so you keep sitting in your fucking office hoping one day you’ll do more than shred paper.”

That stung. I ignored her as Finneas and Claudia began to walk her outside. I wasn’t much of a help since I was struggling on my feet too.

“When I get back, you’ll be right where I left you. You’re not gonna go anywhere working for a fucking pig like him.”

“Is that what you think, Billie? What else?” I knew it wasn’t a good idea to argue back, but I didn’t care what state of mind she was in. I couldn’t believe she was saying any of this to me.

“Let’s just get in the car, Rem. She’s too fucked up, she doesn’t know what-“ Claudia shook her head.

“No! I’m not! And I’d like to- I want you to know I’m so serious. You let everyone treat you like shit! Your fucking ex, your boss, your parents!” She pointed.

“Shut up, Billie! Stop talking!” I put her seatbelt on her, struggling to put the buckle in the hole the first few times as Finneas drove off.

“Who took care of you when that motherfucker left you for another bitch?! Who lived with you and held you all day and night, and fed you, and made you whole again?” She shouted, scrambling her words, closing her eyes for emphasis.

“You want to throw that in my face now?” I was pissed. How dare she bring that up. There was no need to be that petty. I didn’t understand what brought this on her. She had never said anything so mean before. I knew it was the alcohol talking, but this hurt deep.

“And now! You’re just gonna leave me!” She pointed her finger.

“Leave you? Like you said, I’m not going anywhere! You’re the one leaving me!”

“She doesn’t mean any of this Rem, just ignore her.” Finneas reassured me, trying to deescalate the situation.

“No, say how you really feel, Billie!” I looked at her, squinting.

“You don’t believe in your fucking self! You beg me to believe in you, when you won’t even give yourself a fucking chance!” Her eyes closed as she tried to be louder.

“Oh, is that why you boss me around and tell me what to do with my life? Because you think I could do so much better being your fucking groupie?” I snapped back.

“You might as well be my fucking groupie! Better than being assistant TO the groupie!”

“You wish! So I could clap for you and gas you up every night? Like everyone else does?” I shouted back.

“Well, it’d be nice to have you be there for me once in a while, instead of putting work first like you always do!” Billie crossed her arms.

“You KNOW I can’t just do that!”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. You just wanna stay there and be a martyr so you can have something to complain about!”

“OH! So now I bitch about everything! I thought I kept things to myself and didn’t accept people’s help? Which one is it, Billie?”

“Whatever dude, you wanna be a sexy little office receptionist, and bend over for some bald fuck, and write some bullshit on a magazine, when you know you want to do more with your life.” She waved her hand around, her eyeliner running a little on the corner of her eyes.

“No, that’s your girlfriend Rachel! Weren’t you the one trying to suck her dick so she’d let me hop on a damn column?”

“I was trying to help you, dumbass!”

“I was trying to hang out with my best fucking friend before she travels the world for, like, a year!”

“Right! That’s why you wanted to get fucking wasted tonight! So you wouldn’t even remember our last night together.” Billie got teary eyed, blinking away her anger. “I didn’t even want to drink tonight!”

“No one forced you! You got all weird when that guy talked to me, and you shoved 2 shots consecutively up your ass!”

Claudia looked at Finneas. They shared a look and I wondered what that was about. He turned the corner toward my apartment and turned on his hazard lights.

“No one is concerned with who you wanna make out with, Remy!” She mumbled.

“Except you, because you act like my damn mother anytime anyone even looks at me!” I pointed at her. She stared at my finger, looking nauseous.

“Maybe if you had better judgment I wouldn’t have to fucking-“

“Whatever bro! You don’t get to tell me what to do with my life! And when you get back, you’ll see how fucking wrong you are! And how shitty of a fucking friend-“

“Shitty friend?? Because I want better for you?!” She leaned forward.

“You wouldn’t even know what being wrong feels like! Everyone always tells Billie Eilish yes!” I said, immediately feeling terrible. Immediately feeling like I crossed a line. But she had crossed multiple already.

Her face turned a shade of hurt I hadn’t seen before.

“No, fuck that! Fuck you, Remy!” She yelled.

“Fuck you, too!” I open the door and slam it, walking out before the car was even in park. Finneas fully stopped the car and ran out. He walked me to the door as I keyed in the code.

“I wanna make sure you get inside safely.” He held the door open for me when it unlocked. “God, I’m sorry, that was a lot.”

I held back tears and rubbed my arms, feeling the midnight breeze give me goosebumps before quickly walking in.

“She’s definitely not in the right mindset and I really don’t think she meant to be that-“

“Honest?” I asked, tears starting to stream down my face. “I think she did.” I called the elevator, pressing the button 18 times.

“Remy, she loves you. More than you think. You’re everything to- She just-“

“It doesn’t matter, Finneas. That fucking hurt. Drunk or not.“ I stepped into the elevator as the door slid open.

“Please, Rem. Listen, I know she was pushing it. I’m not gonna make excuses-“ He was visibly frustrated, pushing his hair back as he spoke. “And trust me, she’s going to feel like such a dick tomorrow-“

“I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it anymore from-“

The elevator door began to slide, when he stuck his hand in the way to stop it from closing. “Promise me you’ll see her tomorrow before she leaves for tour.” He looked serious, as if it would change anything. As if seeing her tomorrow would make it hurt any less.

I didn’t say anything. I just leaned back on the elevator wall, crossing my arms.

“Please. Think about it… I’m sorry, Remy. Have a good night.” He nodded, removing his hand and letting the door shut. My heart dropped as the elevator rose to the 5th floor.

In my apartment, I got ready for bed and threw myself into the pillows. My head spun and throbbed as the effects of alcohol slowly left my body. I knew everything would hurt tomorrow morning. I stared at my ceiling, hoping to fall asleep. I thought about Billie’s face when she said those things. When she told me I’d stay exactly where she left me. How can I give up all the hard work I’ve put in. I wonder if she was ever proud of me. I wonder if she knows how much I care about what she thinks of me. I thought about her face when I practically told her she doesn’t know what no means. I thought about her face when she told me “fuck you”. I wonder if tomorrow she’ll be hurting about all this as much as I am right now. We’d never spoken to each other like this before. It felt like she wanted to say more than she actually did…

Eventually my eyelids became heavy, and I drifted into a deep, deep sleep.

******

My eyelids slowly blinked open, staring at my wall. I groaned, stretching and turning on my other side. The light from my window was so uncalled for, causing me to squint and curl up into a ball. My head pounded, reminding me of the events last night.

“Oh shit.” I gasped, grabbing my phone faster than my brain could register. It was 1:02pm and a missed call from Billie displayed on my screen. I put my passcode in, messing up twice before finally being able to call back. The phone rang for a while. I sat up in bed, impatiently. No answer. I had overslept and didn’t have a chance to say good bye before she left on the tour bus. She was probably so angry at me. I remembered how much she hurt me last night, the words all freshly dancing around in my mind. I didn’t know what to make of it, but clearly she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I figured if she did, she’d call back.

I threw my phone at the foot of the bed and pulled the covers over my head, wishing away the awful headache. I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall back asleep so I didn’t have to think. Obviously, that didn’t work out. My brain wanted to walk me through the least blurry bits of our fight instead.

I threw the covers off and got up, going straight for the medicine cabinet and taking some Advil, dry. I rotted into the couch for the rest of the day, watching the tv show I wasn’t allowed to watch without her. I don’t know if I did it out of spite or to feel close to her. I’m sure she’ll be watching it without me anyway.

Each time I checked my phone for any calls or texts, my stomach did this weird flip thing. I waited all day to receive anything from her to no avail.

Around 8pm, I realize I haven’t had a bite to eat. As I put some almond butter toast on a plate, my phone dinged. I pulled it out of my pocket to see Billie had posted on instagram. An update to her fans letting them know she was on the road, and excited to see them in Quebec, Canada.

I made it a point to like the insta story post, so she knows that I know she’s ignoring me. This is bullshit, I thought. How petty, I thought, the irony going straight over my head.

[euthymiya]

acting like you’re some woke person just because you advocate for middle aged women to be lifeless on the internet is not the flex you think it is 💀

You seem rather passionate about this so I’m going to indulge your ask to let you know three things:

Writing is a hobby that gets better with age, life experience, and practice. The best pieces of writing objectively come from older people and I’m not talking about fanfiction. I mean books and literature. I’m serious—go look at some of the most well known pieces of literature and then search up the ages of their authors during the years they were published. You’ll find the older writers tend to bust out bangers and this principle is very much applicable to fics too by default. Also writing fanfic is not “lifeless” lol. Some of you act like writing fanfic is juvenile compared to a novel and it’s rly not that different from writing an original piece of fiction. Sure, sometimes fanfic can be a little less on the conventional side in terms of technique. But genuinely the concept of putting characters into situations to create a plot is literally the main thing on both sides here and if you think writing fanfic is silly, it makes 0 sense to hold creative writing to some pedestal. Some fanfic writers demonstrate AMAZING original world building skills especially if they write au’s that diverge from canon and I think you are out of your mind if you think this hobby is not oftentimes an impressive one rather than “lifeless”

Being 30+ doesn’t automatically mean you must/do have a family and kids but I’ll still indulge that point and say you can easily balance a work and personal life while also having a hobby. I know middle aged men who dedicate more time to hobbies like hunting and fishing than middle aged women do with writing. One actually requires you to leave your house and family behind and the other you can do from the comfort of your home and tend to your family should you need to. I think the nature of your opinion only stems from a misogynistic view on aging women but that’s another can of worms

People don’t stop consuming and enjoying things as soon as they hit their third decade of living. If that’s your viewpoint on life, you’re going to set yourself up for a very miserable time once you hit 30. If you’re already 30+ then you’re a hypocrite by default by even being here in the first place lol. Also, life is literally so fucking silly okay? You wake up, work, pay taxes, and try to get by with what is usually an underpaid paycheck. Just fucking enjoy your life and let others enjoy theirs okay? If a 30 year old likes anime, then that is literally so god damn harmless I cannot stress enough how unimportant that is. There are 30 year olds out there doing heinous things in their free time and you choose to be bothered by someone who happens to produce an assortment of words from time to time. Please reevaluate your priorities

All things aside I cannot convince you that being 30+ and enjoying fandom and fanfic is not weird unless you really just realize that it’s not weird. Idk how old you are but I assume you’re younger than 30 because no 30 year old would be on fandom tumblr and then bash others for it. But regardless, just because you think something is weird doesn’t mean it’s bad. It is literally the most harmless thing I do not understand why you would care so much, just move on???? When you think someone dresses weird in real life do you go point it out to them??? No you think it to yourself and move tf on—and if you would voice it to them then you are literally a rude individual. Plain and simple. Rude and disrespectful and I would suggest you again, reevaluate. And it’s the same principle here. You just move on. If you seriously cannot be convinced that this is normal and just absolutely are dead set on believing that 30+ year olds who enjoy fandom are weird, fine. But just keep it to yourself it is the bare minimum you can do to be a decent person I cannot stress this enough to you

And one more thing. The people who are writing the mangas and animes you enjoy so much are middle aged. Older than 30/40. Grown people who might even have families and kids. Creativity has no age limit it is just a small joy that people indulge in at any age and it’s a very nice thing when they share it for others to enjoy, as well. Please just enjoy someone’s art and live a little. I promise you will be much happier and peaceful if you just read a good fic without worrying about the age of whoever produced it. I guarantee you a lot of the BEST fics you’ll read will come from the older writers they are literally doing you a favor if you happen to enjoy reading fanfic. Why bite the hand that feeds you?

[yunazxxx]

heyyyy im a silence reader (always voting for your posts tho !!) I love your wooork so much, you were the first writer I followed on here, thank you for your love for the katseye girlies !!

also idk if you're taking requests rn but can i suggest a marz one where one day Lara sees Manon and Sophie make out by accident, and it makes her see Manon in a different light so she starts avoiding her bc she's scared of what she's feeling and like a week later or something Manon is sick of Lara ignoring her so she enters the bathroom while lara is taking a shower and confronts her about it (since it's the only place Lara can't escape from), Lara clumsily puts her towel on and confess ashamed but like Manon reassures her and kisses her bc she also has feelings for her and like they fuck in the bathroom right after

ps: if you don't like the prompt it's fine I'm not good at it sorry 😭 but can we pls have another hot/smut marz one, we are in a drought :((

pairing ≫ lara rajagopalan x meret manon (ft. sophie)

content warnings ≫ cheating , bathroom sex , slight angst , lara's crushing , established relationship (situationship/fwb) , getting caught , cunnilingus , slight argument but also toxicity? ,, etc maybe?

word count ≫ over 2.7k

author talks ≫ firstly would like to say merry christmas/happy holidays to those who don’t celebrate! i hope you’re all safe and doing well — now with the fic i wanna say i did go a little off plot but its still with the plot for the most part. — btw you did fine don’t worry i rlly enjoyed writing this!!

—

it was a dark snowy night in their city, tempatures dropping to about -1 degrees celcius, so much snow on the floor that even the roofs were covered on every inch, the build up of sniow was honestly surprising.

the girls of katseye gathered in their living room, it was christmas eve and although they all come from different parts of the worls and celebrate different holidays and celebrate christams differently, they managed a way to celebrate it all the same.

sophie and lara were missing, once again inside of the kitchen, making dinner for the girls. lara would peak out sometimes, looking at the brunette girl who she had been crushing on for the last seven months easy, or that's when lara really realized she liked her.

lara also knew of manon's "friend", sophie. lara never had a problem with the woman, why would she?

oh, because she's fucking manon.

lara always kept the fact it bothered her to herself, but while they were cooking and something was almost burning under lara's care, sophia had to ask her after she fixed the situation. "daniela?" sophia called out and daniela left from where she was, coming over to the pair.

"mhm?" she answered, "could you watch this stuff please? we need to talk" sophia said, pointing between her and lara, and daniela nodded. sophia grabbed lara's hand and they ran off to another room, not wanting to have that converation in front of the others.

"what's been going on? you've been so discombobulated" sophia said, her facial expressions following as she spoke, "it's just.." lara said, trailing off trying not to say what the actual problem was but sophia could easily read that girl like a book.

"its sophie" sophia said, her voice flat, but not like emotionless, lara looked at the black haired woman, "what..? no?" lara tried lying but sophia just looked at her until she admitted, "okay, yeah, sophie" lara said, she took a deep breath after saying this.

"but, why?" sophia wasn't all too confused, her and lara talked often, but this was something she never really got information on. "why are you like this over sophie? did she do something? do i need to kick her out?" sophia asked but lara shook her head "no no, its nothing. just, please?"

sophia nodded, "lets finish cooking then, i'm sure the girls are hungry" and lara smiled, "yeah" as the pair walked down the hallway, lara had to break off to grab something from her room, while she searched, she remembered that she gave it to daniela.

lara ran to the front asking daniela for it and she said it was in the room, lara wasn't paying much attention to anything around her, she just wanted to make sure she got what she needed. lara just casually opened the door like she would every other time.

but stopped dead in her tracks, she saw manon and sophie, kissing. manon's shirt was off, and sophie's pants were missing, sophie was on top of manon with her hands moving all over her body. lara quickly shut the door, her heart both racing but it also dropped.

she went to her room, holding back her tears while "looking" for something, but she really wasn't, she wanted to distract herself because megan was in the room now, "woah woah" megan said when she saw lara, "what happened?"

megan looked so worried and it made lara feel bad, "i just, got something in my eye" lara said, smiling while a tear trinkled down her cheek, "l-let me see, do you need eye drops?" megan asked, her voice starting to panick a bit.

"no no no no, i'm good megan, thank you" lara said, holding her hand to prevent the ginger girl from running away, "are you sure? it's no issue really" megan said but lara stayed content wit her answer and megan let it go.

lara and megan walked from their bedroom, to the places in the house they just were. sophia succefully distracted lara while they cooked, they were playing and laughing a lot, even making references to lara's old cooking/baking channel.

slowly the night began to turn into early morning, it was already 2am and yoonchae was dozing off, "yoonchae?" sophia said to her younger while the brown haired girl's head was resting on her lap, "mm?" she could only reply, too tired to form words.

"megan?" lara tapped her roommate, "hm?" megan looked up from the puzzle she was doing, "could you take yoonchae upstairs?" and the ginger woman nodded, taking yoonchae and guiding the young girl upstairs.

manon and sophie had been downstairs for a while now, lara rolling her eyes each time she looked over at the couple, it wasn't like she hated them but the having to act nonchalant was her only other way to cope with this.

it was almost three when sophie announced she'd be leaving, all the girl's gave sophie a hug while lara left to the kitchen, before sophie left she came up to lara, "g'night" sophie said and hugged her and lara could feel herself physically cringe at this.

"yea, goodnight" lara said, hugging sophie back, happy once she finally broke off of her. manon walked sophie to her car and they stayed out there for a bit, lara catching them sharing another kiss before sophie drove off.

something about that sight made lara feel sick to her stomach, and right when lara was about to sleep, she saw a message in the groupchat with their staff, saying they have a video to record for youtube for their fans to see.

lara shut off her phone, sighing because she couldn't stand being around manon right now but it's for the cameras.

the nex morning came, sophia calling for a house meeting to make sure everyone knows about the scheduele. normally when house meetin were called, the girls would gatherup, megan and daniela sittting together, yonchae and sophia and of course lara and manon, but lara stood beside the leader instead of sitting by manon.

this didn't really strike manon as weird behaviour, but still she took note of this, it wasn't until they were on set for the video when she saw how weird lara was acting towards her. lara was the last on set because she finished getting ready later than the rest of the girls.

lara would be so talkative with everyone but manon, she would be physical with everyone but manon when there were no cameras on them but right when she noticed that red light on the cameras she was all over manon like she would be normally.

this had been going on for so long, manon got tired of it, lara had avoided her off cameras for at least a month now but this was really fucking with her.

after they got home, lara rushed to the shower, wanting to rid herself after the hours of filimg, manon also following behind her. the brunette tip toed inside of lara's room, opening the bathroom before closing it behind her.

"megan?" lara said through the water running on her body, "could you grab my hair mask?" lara asked, and manon grabbed, but got undressed first, lara had her eyes closed while she ran water through her red hair.

manon handed the mask to her while sneaking inside, "lara.." manon said and it made the red haired woma freeze in her actions, looking at manon, "h-hey" manon stared at the redhead for a bit, "why have you been ignoring me?" manon asked but lara just sighed, "not here manon"

manon's eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean not now?" and lara sighed again, "let me shower in peace" she answered, her voice emotionless. "manon clenched her jaw before swallowing, "fine" she got out of the shower, collecting her clothes and sitting on lara's bed until she was out.

megan was inside of the room when manon walked out, her hair was slightly wet, "hey? do you need the hair dryer, or a wtowel?" megan offered but manon shook her head, she lied down on lara's bed for a while, looking up at the cieiling before asking, "megan?"

"yeah?" the ginger aswered, "has lara been acting, strange, lately? like anything you've noticed?" and megan shook her head, "mno, not really. is she alright?" and manon nodded, "yeah, yeah she's fine, it's just been... odd?" and megan tilted her head, "what do you mean?"

"it's nothing megan, could you go for a bit? we need to talk" the redhead interrupted, and megan got up, walking out odf the room. lara was fresh out of the shower, her body still wrapped inside of the towel while her skin glistened, steam coming from her body like an arua.

manon looked at the woman, the anger but guilt was telling on her face. lara looked through her closet, fishing for clothes to put on while manon struggled to get her words together, "so, what? you can say it now." lara said while she was searching through the closet.

"why have you been avoiding me?" manon flat out said, making lara pause, "that's really a question?" lara said as she continue searching, "yes! you've been so weird to me lately, ever since that night sophie was here, you've been acting so different"

"you must assume every emotion i experience has something to do with you or that bitch" lara said camly which took manon by surprise, "what?" manon said, still trying to process the words that left the younger's mouth, "i mean, you're right. how would you feel if you walked in on your crush sleeping with someone"

lara said, shrugging her shoulders while she slipped on the clothes she found, manon closed her eyes and sighed, opening them to be met with lara's brown eyes, calmly rested while she waited for the brunettes response.

"why didn't you say something sooner?" manon asked, "do i have to say everything? spell it out for you? do you not feel the same?" lara asked, her voice raising towards the end, "of course you don't, you're with sophie" lara said, her voice as bitter as over brewed tea.

manon swallowed, "obviously, you have nothin to say" lara said and scoffed, walking away to the bathroom to finish drying her hair and styling it. manon followed her, "i do feel the same, lara" making the red haired woman scoff, "right, whatever you say"

manon walked closer to her and snaked her arms around the angered woman's waist, gently kissing her neck through the small space not covered by her hair. lara's head feel back against manon's shoulder, "this won't always work, you know that" lara said

"i know, but it will this time and that's all i need" manon softly whispered against lara's skin, making her tingle. "m-manon, we can't" lara tried pushing he off, her words weren't following her actions or thoughts, her body craved manon's touch and attention while her thoughts ran saying the most vulgar things.

manon sighed against lara's skin before backing off, "guess you're right", she tuned around and began walking away from the bathroom but lara grabbed her hand, turning the brunette around and pulling her into a kiss.

it started off so sweet and soft but overtime it grew more and more passionet, lara began pushing herself against manon's body, they broke off, "fuck i've missed this" lara sighed out before they pulled each other into another kiss.

lara shamelessly moaned into the kiss, manon's hands pulling the girls small waist closer against her body, while slowly pushing her on the bed. lara held manon's neck, pushing the kiss deeper, manon broke the kiss off and began kissing down lara's neck again.

lara threw her head back, allowing the older more access. lara's hips began moving on their own, rutting against manon's leg that was right where she needed her most. manon's hand traveled on their own down lara's body, her fingers and palms tracing lara's abdomen, making the younger one twitch.

"i need you.." lara whispered, low enough that only she heard it, making manon lift up, "what did you say baby?" and lara whined, thinking manon was messing with her, "no baby, repeat yourself" and lara said this time, much louder.

manon slid her hand past lara's sweats and past her panties, her fingers on her clit using one and slowly rubbing in a circle. lara whined pretty loudly, manon crashing her lips against the redhead. manon sped up her hands, slingher fingers down, now pushing two digits inside of lara, causing her to gasp.

manon broke off the kiss and began kissing down lara's body, the red haired woman failing to keep quiet while she allowed her older member to do whatever she wanted with her body. manon reached her other hand up, exposing lara's stomach, manon bit at the brown girl's flesh, making her hips buck.

manon pulled her hand from lara's pants, pulling them down to her thighs. manon made her way down to her thighs, gently caressing them before kissing them, making her way between and kissing lara's inner thighs.

lara’s breath hitched as manon’s lips touch her inner thigh, her body trembling in response to the pleasure coursing through her body. she lets out a soft whine, her legs automatically opening slightly wider for the brunette.

manon continued to pepper kisses down the girl’s inner thigh, getting dangerously closer to where she craved her the most.

she stopped once she was there, looking up into lara’s hooded eyes, manon’s hands slid between her legs, slipping two digits inside of her again.

her pace was slow but steady, lara’s body immediately responds to her touch, her breath coming out in ragged gasps as she begin to provide her with the friction she yearned for.

“m-manon..” lara moaned softly, her body arching as she feels the pleasure begin to build within her. manon would speed up then slow back down randomly, making lara’s mind wonder and turn into mush.

she felt the brunette’s soft lips against her skin, marking her and leaving hickeys. lara’s moans picked up the closer she got, making manon speed up. lara clenched around manon's fingers, the older girl now kissing at her clit, looking her in the eyes while she whimpered out that she was close.

manon went back up, now kissing lara, "i love you so much.." manon sighed against her lips before moving down. the redhead whimpered in manon's ear, "i love you... shit" before she came. manon's hands didn't slow down, she kept with that same pace, making lara be much louder than she should've.

manon pulled the redhead into a kiss while she felt the younger's body spasm under her, pulling her fingers out and gently carrasing her body. manon kissed down lara's body, cooing to her gently while lara tried catching her breath.

manon got up and grabbed a towel and some warm water to clean lara up, when she finished, lara pulled her down beside her. "you know, you didn't have to.." lara said, her voice low and shy, manon shrugged, "wanted to" she said and kissed lara again.

the pair sat in silence for a while before manon spoke, "lara?", "uh huh?" the redhead replied, "you know you didn't have to say it back, right?" and lara grabbed her cheek, "you're a loserrrrr you know?" lara said and manon chuckled, "no but, you didn't" and lara rolled her eyes before pulling the brunette into another kiss, this time the kiss had no lust but was more love.

the lips moved in sync against each other, and while this happened sopie was opening the door after getting word from megan that manon was in lara's room. she had knocked but neither girl heard it so she assumed they were busy doing things and didn't hear it.

when she opened the door she looked around and saw them, the bit her lip before closing the door, the girls saw her walking out but they didn't know what she saw, and they didn't know whether it was good or bad.

they weren't in the house and actually had just made it back home when sophie came over, manon and lara came from the room, lara was leaning against manon barely walking straight with her hair a mess. "oh..." the other four girls all said in usion, now they see why sophie ran out as fast she did.

[bowsellie]

say it once again with feeling

i’ll forget you, but i’ll never forgive

warnings/info: smut (mdni) face sitting pussy eating scissoring all the goods, top!ellie bottom!r

angst, can be read as either ellie x reader or ellie x dina depending on your vibe, canon compliant, post-canon, mentions of unhealed/poorly healed injuries, alcohol, mentions of grief, reader has a child (jj durr) who is not actually present just mentioned I think that’s all :3

Been big into reading angst lately so here

—

You can only mourn someone for so long, you believed. Their memory would always be with you, yes, but the despair and pain and missing would have to be replaced with something better eventually. If you let it consume you, you couldn’t live on yourself.

This was a lot more difficult to stick to, however, when the person you were mourning may not actually be dead.

Since the night Ellie left, you forced yourself to imagine that she wouldn’t come back. You had to, or else you would hold out hope. And with that hope came a forgiveness you couldn’t afford to give. Nobody gets to ruin your life and leave you alone with a child you felt barely old enough to care for, not even the love of your life. So you imagined her dead—torn apart by clickers, by Abby, by her own refusal to care for herself—and convinced yourself to mourn her death and not her leaving. It felt easier that way.

Since packing up your belongings and your baby and your sheep and moving back to Jackson, you had to constantly remind yourself to not look around each room for her. To not expect her to walk through the door. To not hope that she was alive, and worse, here.

It was a hard habit to break, and your head still perked up every time the door to the Tipsy Bison opened. Especially after a few drinks, like the Friday night you sat at the bar downing tequila shot after tequila shot. JJ was with his grandparents for the weekend and you needed something to fill the silence in the small house you shared with him, something burning.

You must have had too much to drink tonight, because you looked up at the next door creak and swore you actually saw her.

Blinking once, twice, looking away then looking back, the apparition didn’t disappear. In fact, it met its green eyes with yours and began to approach. Her hair was shorter and shittily chopped, her face was scabbed in multiple new places, and her gait was limping as the Ellie-like figure came closer and seemed to becoming more realistic. She sat down in the empty barstool next to you, grunting with the effort but otherwise saying nothing. You, still looking away and back as if to clear your vision, muttered a slurred “holy shit”.

“I was hoping you’d be here,” she said. Her voice was rougher than you remembered, like she hadn’t used it in weeks or had been screaming until the cords fried.

“Holy shit,” you responded.

“I need…we need to talk,” Ellie said, not quite looking at you. She played with her hands, ghosting the fingers of her right hand over an empty spot where her left hand should mirror.

You breathed in sharply, noticing the absence. “Holy shit.”

“Can I take you home?”

The delay in your brain finally caught up to the situation, a million possible words and responses stumbling over themselves until you could say something—anything—that made sense.

“Fuck. No.” You pushed the empty shot glass to rest on top of the plastic part of the bar farther from you and stood up hastily, catching yourself on the barstool as alcohol rushed to your head and made you stumble.

Ellie matched in urgency and elegance, stumbling herself from whatever was affecting her walk on the way in. “Please. I fucked up, so bad, I at least need to say it.”

“You said it,” you snapped back, shoving your way to the door, “now go away and leave me alone.”

“You’re pissed, you should be. I fucked up so bad. Please, let me, I don’t know,” she rambled, trailing behind you.

You shoved the doors open, not caring to hold them on your way out despite Ellie following close behind.

“Please,” she said, again, her voice breaking.

You whipped around to face her. “Please what, Ellie? You’re dead to me. Literally. I can’t—I didn’t—I had to—you’re not. This isn’t a possibility for me. You’re supposed to be dead.”

“But I’m not.”

“But you are. You have been for the last however many months. You don’t get to come here and tell me how you killed Abby and got your fucking revenge and can actually care about me instead of letting me be the second most important person to you. You don’t get to make me forgive you for ruining my life. You ruined my fucking life! You left me, mourning everyone who ever meant fucking anything to me, with a fucking CHILD, and if I don’t believe you’re dead then I have to hate you. I fucking hate you. I fucking HATE you, Ellie!”

Somewhere you had begun to cry, hard and hot and wet. The tears choked you as they rain down your face, and you half hunched over as your stomach clenched with the devastating waves of emotion you were feeling. It was like reliving everything all over again.

And still, she looked at you with her green eyes and the line between her eyebrows that you knew like your own face.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

“Yeah. You should be,” you choked out. Forcing yourself to stand and taking hyperventilating breaths, you turned and started to walk home.

“At least let me make sure you get home safe. Please. We don’t need to talk about it, I just…I’m sorry. Please,” Ellie said. Her own voice was thicker now, the words barely rasping out.

You shook your head, but didn’t turn her away when she began walking with you. You made your way home nearly in silence, except for the crunch of two pairs of shoes and your gasps between tears that wouldn’t stop.

When you approached the porch of the apartments you were living in, you turned to Ellie. You couldn’t get rid of her soon enough. And yet, having her presence with you when you’d adjusted to never feeling it again…you couldn’t let it go yet.

You walked up the porch, fumbling with your keys from your pocket and unlocking the door after a few attempts. You pushed open the door, and turned back to the pitiful looking girl behind you. Everything you felt, minus the anger, was mirrored on her face. Sadness, longing, and a love that had been forced away.

“Come in, then. I don’t fucking care,” you said, holding the door for her.

Ellie scurried in, quickly removing her shoes at the door. Like she remembered you’d liked. Like she used to always do.

“Please don’t tell me those are the same goddamn converse you left in,” you said, scrunching your nose and she tucked in the laces.

“Not a lot of shoe stores in California, turns out,” Ellie said with something like a laugh. “I can stick them outside, if you want.”

You shook your head, removing your own shoes before heading up the creaky stairs. Ellie lingered at the bottom.

“There’s a toy on the left halfway up. Don’t trip on it,” you said, not turning around. Her footsteps began to follow yours.

In your bedroom, you began to get ready for bed. Ellie stood, watching, so still it was like she was afraid to move. Maybe she was, you thought. Maybe the delicacy you felt in the air was so tangible she was afraid to break it.

Finally, she breathed and spoke. “What do you—“

You cut her off quickly, looking in her eyes for the first time since coming into your house. One that, until now, had been free of her memory.

“Spend the night. Please. I can’t say goodbye to you again just,” you swallowed heavily, “just yet.”

Ellie nodded, soundlessly, and the both of you got into varying states of undress before turning off the lights and crawling into bed.

You turned your body, resting your head on her chest and breathing deeply. She stunk of outside, in a way that only Ellie could make you like. Her arm curled tentatively around your shoulders.

“Where’s JJ?” she whispered.

“With Jesse’s parents. They watch him every few weekends. They’ve really helped a lot,” you responded, just as quietly.

“How is he?”

You smiled despite yourself. “Good. He knows a few words. He walks, mostly.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s really shitty at it so far—“

Ellie interrupted your sentence with a snort, causing you to giggle back. You twisted so you could see her face, and before you had time to reconsider, kissed her deeply.

She didn’t hesitate to kiss you back. For months, almost a year, you hadn’t been kissed this way. Like she needed you to breathe, like you needed her to live. Her hands fell to your hips, gripping until you felt fingertip shaped indents beginning to form.

“Ellie, ouch,” you breathed into her mouth, and she loosened her grip slightly. You were once again reminded of the missing digits, feeling their absence on your right side.

“Sorry. I need to feel that you’re real,” she said, kissing you again. Her hands stayed obediently on your hips, your waist, the proper places for them to be. But you needed more. Goddamn it, if you were going to indulge the fantasy of Ellie being back, you needed to indulge completely.

Breaking the kiss, you grabbed her hands and moved them down and back to grab your ass.

“Are you sure?” she asked, squeezing tentatively.

You nodded. “Please, Ellie. Don’t make me question it. Fuck me.”

She leaned up to kiss you again, more fervently than before as her hands kneaded your ass. Her hands began to move up, underneath your tshirt to cup your breasts, eliciting a sharp breath.

Ellie’s mouth opened again, likely to ask you if that was alright, but you silenced her with a kiss. The truth is, you didn’t know if it was alright. But you wanted it to be.

She flipped you over, moving low to remove your panties and bury her face in between your legs. She wasted no time licking thick stripes over your hole to your clit, dipping her tongue inside before moving it back upwards to flick the sensitive bud.

Ellie’s left hand snaked up to join her mouth, but she froze for a fraction of a second when nothing met your folds. Instead, she shoved the offending hand back underneath her body and brought up the right hand to slip in one, then two fingers.

It was less adept than it used to be, you thought. She wasn’t used to using this hand.

For what felt like hours, Ellie ate you out ravenously and without tiring. You squirmed, moaned, and pulled her hair, chasing an orgasm that kept seeming to run away at the last moment. After the third or fourth time of this, Ellie lifted her head away.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I’m just thinking a lot. Can I sit on your face instead?”

She nodded quickly, adjusting her body to lay in between the pillows as you positioned yourself on top of her. Sinking onto her open mouth, you ground down onto her waiting tongue. The change in position was exactly what you needed, and with Ellie’s tongue flicking over your clit, you felt the blood began to pool below your naval as your core tightened.

“Fuck. Please don’t stop. Please, just like that,” you gasped out. Ellie moaned in acknowledgement against you, the vibrations causing your orgasm to go crashing down. Your body convulsed on top of her, while her arms hooked around your thighs to hold you mostly in place. She gave three more long licks, causing you to twitch in overstimulation before swinging a leg over her and settling to lay down.

Ellie rolled over, using both arms to hold herself above your body as she kissed you. The heady taste of your own wet combined with the warm softness of her mouth had you spreading your legs once more, almost imperceptibly rolling your hips upward to ask for more.

Ellie smiled at you, in the way that always made you melt, and your stomach twisted. It would be so easy to fall in love with her again, you thought. To forgive her, to pretend it never happened.

She lifted off her sweatshirt and dirty tank top, revealing an angry red scar around her abdomen that was almost definitely infected. She slid out of her own underwear, looking at you for confirmation as she slid her legs over yours and slotted her pussy against your own.

In tandem, you both moaned as your hips began to move messily towards each other. The effect of your last orgasm combined with the twisting of your stomach at having Ellie here, right now, and before you knew it you were crying. Above you, Ellie sniffled. She was crying too.

Your motions against each other became more and more frantic as Ellie reached her orgasm above you. Nearly sobbing now, the pulsing of her pussy pushed you over the top into your own. Your moans grew louder and more incomprehensible, until the only thing you could shout was “I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you.”

Ellie collapsed on top of you, both of you crying and sweaty. You didn’t kiss again. Like sweet nothings in her ear, you continued to mutter. “I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate you.”

Ellie peeled her body off of yours, reclothing herself and throwing a blanket over your shaking body.

“I hate you,” you whispered.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered back.

And for the second time in your life, Ellie walked out the door.

[sgiandubh]

On sightings

It's that blessed time of the year, with eggnog and spice galore?

Anons are never unemployed for long, because - as I always say - the idiots' mother is always pregnant.

To counter Park Anon, perhaps, another casual fan (relevant later) posted a sighting on another one of those FB behemoth fan groups that come with a LOT of small print barking around ('BE KIND! NO BULLYING! NO SPAM! NO ADS!'). That particular group is obviously Spanish/Latino based and that is sort of relevant, in the geopolitics of this fandom:

Anyways, here goes. The woman had no fucking idea of Claire Fraser's civilian name, but was ashamed to admit to it - so long for accuracy, dude:

Her sister is also a member of the group, but curiously enough nobody asked her anything, even if she was there and could have given her own feedback on the whole event. And she did not offer any, even when her next of kin was clawed around by the patrolling Stans Brigade. Perhaps because she's only been a member of the group since December 15, 2024 (her sister, the OG informer, was active in there since August 30 2024, only)?

Anyways, all the obsessive tropes seem to have been thoroughly checked, in that comment thread.

Blonde Bambino? ✅

Tracula? ✅✅- you know that one was coming, right?

The Wookey Hole Caves is an amusement park in Somerset - oh, how convenient:

C might have went with Blonde Bambino and retinue for the Winter Wonderland show - it does make sense.

An easy daytrip from London, too. But it had to be Somerset, for some reason - where C has established no footprint since 2019 and something she never mentions in fan events (even though Tracula's relatives do live in that area - plot thickens). Where no other sighting had been reported since at least the Italian guy taking a fan pic with C, circa 2019-2020 (help me on this one, veterans 😘?).

What stroke me as odd wasn't even the lack of pictures. It would have been very easy to sneak one, since the OG informer's nephew was riding along Blonde Bambino on an age appropriate ride - but hey, let's not nitpick on that one, after all Park Anon didn't have any, either. Also, the OG informer is unsure about Caitriona's name, but knows exactly how old Blonde Bambino is? What about that 'almost 4" - did C casually throw some pebbles along the narrative track, like Hansel in that fairy tale? Isn't Blonde Bambino supposed to be 3 years, 4 months old? How is that 'almost 4'? Was the OG informer using her own deductive skills, based on a ride Verboten sign?

The carousel the Blonde Bambino could not supposedly ride on is this one. It is situated indoors, in the park's Penny Arcade zone, at The Mill (https://www.wookey.co.uk/things-to-do/):

What stroke me as odd is that both the OG Informer and the Riding Toddler's mum are inexplicably elusive about any specific details. I was not expecting a deposition transcript, for sure, but at least a couple of those details that bring warmth, humanity and plausibility to a story. You know, like Park Anon's little girl having a tantrum because she didn't want to go home:

[Source: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/751391542332325888/i-always-read-the-comments-on-sams-posts-because]

Nothing of the sort, here. But if anything, what gave me pause the most is this tiny little tidbit the sanctimonious people across the street do not want you to see:

You read that right. The Perfect Stay-At-Home Dad couldn't be arsed to watch 'his' son on a ride, in an amusement park where things can and do happen. The One Who Always Babysits, even when his 'wife' is clubbing around with her Praetorian Guard (credit given accordingly 😉) in London, knowing perfectly well C has a full time nanny for 'Baba', looked completely disconnected from the scène de genre. So much so, that the OG Informer had nothing else to report.

So which one is it? Was it T, was it someone else from the Praetorian Guard? Does it really, really matter?

All this carefully calibrated story surely made me think about one of the times I lied to a very nice bungalow B&B landlady, somewhere on the coast of the Peloponnese. When our electricity blew out in the middle of the (cold, February) night, I had to call her and explain 'me and my husband' were about to die frozen in her idyllic little orange orchard. My 'husband' was my best gay friend (currently posted somewhere in the Middle East, LOL) and we were very much plastered with excellent wine, which we happily continued to imbibe after the incident was solved. Bless her heart, she did ask me the next time I went there (with Someone, 😱) how was my 'husband' doing. I shamelessly told her we got divorced, in the meanwhile. She smirked and mumbled something like 'eh, diplomats'. LOL.

Double standards are, as always, prosperous across the street. Other than that, may I just add the most recent reviews of the park are ahem, mixed, at best?

Especially, perhaps, this particular review, written by a mom of a three-years old little girl:

[Source: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g635922-d213489-Reviews-Wookey_Hole_Caves-Wookey_Hole_Somerset_England.html]

I find the management's answer extraordinarily enlightening. They know they have a problem with it. They offer settlement outside of the saloon, perhaps a batch of free tickets and hefty discounts thrown in for good measure. LOL, really LOL.

Hence my question, Your Honor: was it even C? Why would she do that, when she could have easily went to Eurodisney in Paris or any other fabulous London seasonal attraction, of which I am sure there are many? This, by all accounts, sounds more like a sad, rushed and tacky improvisation - again, why? Why on Earth do that to 'Baba'? Why?

Make it make sense, please, because right now it surely doesn't.

I rest my case.

[nepenthe-den]

There's no force on this planet that can convince me that Fin doesn't have

A.) A praise kink (giving and receiving)

B.) a breeding kink (Lord have mercy)

And C.) at least a mild size kink.

UGGHH YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN these are all so painfully trueee

MDNI under the cut!!

Praise kink?

We see how much people compare this man to a dog. Call him a good boy and he's going to fall to his knees. But he also loves to praise his partner and let them know how amazing he thinks they are in any situation. He never shuts up!!

On the receiving end, quite literally anything will make him melt. He LOVES a good mix of you telling him how good of a boy he is while you tug on his hair. Call him handsome and strong and brave and he's mush.

On the giving end, he's always telling you how perfect you are. Even when he's beyond fucked out he's mumbling "f-fuck fuck so good- you're so good so fucking perfect-" he physically cannot stop praising you. He needs you to know how much he loves you.

BREEDING KINK??? ARGHHH don't even get me STARTEDDD

While I think Hazard would be good with kids, I highly doubt he wants them. At least anytime soon. He lives a wild life and definitely has doubts because of his own parents and difficult home life as a kid.

But boy does he still love to try! He fucks you over and over after he gets just a glimpse of his cum dripping out of you. It drives him absolutely insane. Makes him feel almost possessive and incredibly confident. Ugh and if you beg him to cum inside you? Huge ego boost! His pretty baby wants him to fill them up? Done and done.

Size kink 😮‍💨

Don't know how tall he is canonically but in my brain he's at LEAST 6'5. And oh BOY does he have a size kink. Literally just standing next to you and looking down at you has him blushing and ... thinking. If you wear his shirt? He's a dead man walking. When you sit on his lap? He's at a loss for words.

Im also a firm believer that his cock is huge. So he takes his sweet time prepping you beforehand. His fingers are big and thick too 🤭 he has you whining and on the verge of tears before he's actually fucked you. It's a tight fit when he actually gets his dick inside you, genuinely drives him mad. He's got you clawing at and scraping his shoulders. He just completely covers you when he's on top. 😮‍💨 His back muscles are tensing from how deliciously tight you are.

I'm in the process of writing a short with all of these so stay tuned!!