#this is not a humble brag

[lunapwrites]

Them: babies start to roll over between 4-5 months of age, and will usually roll from their bellies to their backs first because it takes less neck and back strength. :)

Bean, at 12 weeks: hold my binkie.

don't mind the sound of my soul leaving my bodyyyyyy

[frankie-the-bad-guy-lupelli]

Falling an’ bustin’ my butt aside, is hard mode on this game suspiciously easy or have my old DDR skills transferred over?

[mfred]

Ya gurl got "exceeds expectations" on all areas of her annual review this year!

[smatterbrained]

Based on this

[melinamercury6538]

It feels like a right of passage when your blog reaches a certain number of favourites, reblogs etc. that you start getting by followed by multiple p0rn bots on the daily

[unhinged-lesbian]

unironically wish i had a lesbian friend

like a lesbian with whom i can freely share my experiences who is NOT interested in me romantically in the LEAST

[sneakydraws]

Kyomoto is winning the race!

[somewhereincairparavel]

'i hate jason grace because he thought he was worthy enough to compete with percy' I'm sorry have y'all SEEN jason. this man defeated a TITAN without weapons and his bare hands to the point the titan wanted to rise from the UNDERWORLD with the help of a GODDESS to seek vengeance over him. I think we can cut him slack for having some well deserved self respect bc I'd brag too wtf

[layton-opinions]

he didn't say this unprompted but it'd be really funny if he did

[scliffe]

It makes me giggle every time he acts like this. Why the hell is an invincible demon with supernatural powers so damn smug about being able to fry eggs better than a human—it’s because all those months of training with Ciel fucking paid off and Sebastian is going to flaunt it until the end of times.

[b0tster]

it was so pretty out today 💙

[givemedamage]

damn i should’ve titled this why is every state animal a whitetail deer?…… (the things innards are under the cut )

[metukika]

body goals: shattered!

[prontaentrega]

funniest thing about stephen king to me is that hes known for publishing like 10 books a year because he writes an entire chapter a day everyday and people talk about this like its so cool but once you start reading stephen king books you can tell he can keep up with that pace because he publishes 900 pages long books and they all read like shit

[tennessoui]

also i passed literally all my midterms with flying colors (basically A+'s if grad school did A+'s) (or gold star stickers if grad school did gold star stickers)

(they should)

and all my midterms were just essays and all my professors who graded my essays said my essays were very well-written and well-structured and had high readability

and im like thank you thank you i've written like a million words of porn for the internet. i know my adjective noun verb placement very well

[saintjosie]

i’m not humble bragging when i say im pretty and passing. i’m hot as fuck.

when i brag, i brag with my whole chest, and i don’t do it often. so let me brag for a minute.

i am an excellent photographer and i worked in professional photography and videography for almost a decade and have traveled all around the world to do so. left image taken in milan, right image taken in thailand.

i hold one of the top scores on rush pinball on record. 25th in the world last i checked and i got this score five months after picking up pinball.

i try new hobbies all the time and almost always pick them up at an insane speed. on the left, first time painting since high school on the right, first acrylic pour.

after two weeks learning archery, i shot a regulation 140, better than many hobbyists do after shooting for years. image taken from my first day of shooting and shooting at full range.

i’ve dabbled in makeup art. this was after three weeks of learning how to do eye shadow.

i can sing, play guitar, bass, piano, drums, can improvise on all of them except piano and i write, produce, mix, and master all of my own music. i started learning music production four years ago from online videos and have 100s of thousands of streams and am working on a full album. this was my spotify wrapped for 2023.

other miscellaneous things

i have a masters degree

i learned how to lockpick in seven minutes

i’ve been world top 500 demon hunter in diablo 3 multiple times

i cleared slay the spire on my first run

i have cleared every song on guitar hero 2 and 3 on expert 100% (yes even through the fire and flames), and could clear more than half of them either blindfolded, left-handed, or both. (not anymore tho lol)

i taught myself how to cook, i make up my own recipes frequently, i can improvise recipes using whatever is lying around, i can guess how to make a recipe without looking it up, and many people have told me that my cooking is the best thing they’ve ever eaten.

i took a data science bootcamp and then worked at a fortune 500 tech company for several years and i also turned down job offers from google twice.

strangers regularly come up to me and tell me i’m unrealistically gorgeous and that i have the best skin they’ve ever seen.

i’ve turned down several men in the mainstream music industry who tried to slide into my dms

oh and i can dance at bars, have a good time, AND look sexy while doing it.

so like 🤷‍♀️