#this is not a gaspard defense blog

[brekkie-e]

Almost a year since I read the Masked Empire for the first time and still feral over this.

DO NOT LET THE GAME FOOL YOU. CELENE IS NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN KINDER TO ELVES. THERE IS NOTHING GIRL BOSSY ABOUT REUNITING THOSE LESBIANS. LET THAT BLONDE DIE. LET HER DIE SO FAST.

[viktorgf]

—OCS AND VILLAIN SONGS

hey what’s up you guys welcome back to my channel— i did this post on my old blog ages ago which is unfortunately lost to time now and i wanted to do it again. so this has gotta be like, the third time some of y’all are seeing this but. fuck it we ball.

born from a post made by @unholymilf a loooong time ago that as more or less a question of if ur oc was a boss fight, what song would be playing and it struck me so here is ALL of my brain worms, including some new ones from the last post!

ANDIE— le soleil est près de moi; air.

POV: you’re bleeding out as andie is standing over you, burning white hot, hotter than the sun setting behind her. she is passionate and… reckless, and will swear this was self-defense. even if she struck first. even if she didn’t blink. even as she watches the life leave your body.

BIANCA— tricycle express; gaspard augé, mr. oizo.

POV: bianca is white knuckling her steering wheel, swiping her car against the side of your own for miles down the freeway. she is gonna run you off the road. she absolutely will; it’s unavoidable, and she’s gonna laugh while she’s doing it. this is the song she’s listening to.

CELESTE— vision; m83.

POV: “you will die soon. sooner than you were supposed to, now.” celeste deadpans as she hovers her hand over your forehead and waves. she makes a show of it, though her clairvoyance doesn’t require as much. you wish you had listened to her and thought better of asking in the first place. “it will be violent, and painful. give ares my best. leave my temple.” but you didn’t, and now it’s too late. your fate is sealed.

ELVIRA— old river; orville peck.

POV: you’re stiff, hairs on the back of your neck standing up. you’re being watched. this is a different kind of observation than the one you’re used to— the seeds constantly run surveillance on you, but this doesn’t feel as passive. you’re being hunted. and when you dare to turn on your heels to see elvira standing behind you with a crossbow bolt nocked with your name on it, you almost wish jacob was here to kill you instead. somehow, you know it would be more merciful.

OSLO— pennsylvania furnace; lingua ignota.

POV: oslo isn’t the deputy anymore. they’re the judge. eden’s gate is up a member who is worth a million and the resistance mourns a million more.

FAUSTINA— beyond the horizon; olivier deriviere.

POV: faustina is the last line of defense between you and the mother church. she’s a penitent, too, you must understand. the consecrated red ribbons she’s wrapped in are suffocating her the longer she takes to excommunicate you and she will try every prayer at her disposal to stop it—to stop you.

JEN— krack; soulwax.

POV: jen is chasing you through the fib building after she snitches on your whole operation to the iaa. you are an enemy of the state, but more importantly— you’re an enemy to agent jennifer daniels. she wants you dead, and you will be soon enough. especially if it’s up to her. and as of right now, she has you cornered in an interrogation room with nowhere to go and a gun to your head.

LOTTIE— arsonist’s lullabye; hozier.

POV: hawkins is ablaze, and lottie is at the scene of the crime staring into the flames.

LINDY— señor (tales of yankee power); jerry garcia.

POV: there’s barely anyone left to call a gang, and dutch knows as much. but he won’t admit it— that would require him admitting guilt for the losses, too. and he should be so lucky he’s still breathing; lindy wants to empty an entire revolver clip into his thick skull but knows she wouldn’t live long enough to feel the satisfaction. so she does the next best thing, and turns her back. there isn’t anything left for her, anyway. she would risk a lifetime of looking over her shoulder over having to look at him.

MAGS— change (in the house of flies); deftones.

POV: you’re being experimented on in an umbrella sanctioned lab and in walks mags— who you thought was on your side. after all, well fed devils behave better than famished saints. but not this one, she’s much worse.

MILDRED— god unbounded; uboa.

POV: you have just returned from the dead because some weirdo with a god complex and a proficiency in reanimating corpses decided that she needed the practice. and now that’s your problem, because you definitely have come back Wrong. but you’re back! surprise!

NICOLE— heart in a cage; the strokes.

POV: you’re witness to an absolute bloodbath as nicole goes crazy on the field. she’s completely lost herself, she isn’t in control anymore. she was always dangerous but now she’s lethal. she’s already gotten some of her own killed, and somebody needs to take her out before it gets worse. she’s a wild animal. and to her, you’re fresh meat.

SIBYL— summit song; nicole dollanganger.

POV: she drowns you in her scrying pool and you are never heard from again. it’s your own fault, really— anna henrietta told you to leave her be and you didn’t listen.

ROSALIND— goodbye; soap&skin, apparat.

POV: she begs mike for the coordinates of where it happened and he doesn’t budge. he never will. he doesn’t trust her not to take a shovel to the earth and dig him up. so in her state of delirium, she walks through the desert and screams and cries and repents. and becomes her own biggest villain.

ODETTE— graveyard; midnight syndicate.

POV: odette quite literally haunts her family estate, left to fall into disrepair. she’s a grief stricken wraith born of despair who brutally attacks anyone who dares step into her tomb. she’s a master illusionist even in death, so if you choose to fight her instead of just leaving, just make sure you first remove the mirrors from the wall.

okay whew that was a TASK but i’m gonna make this a tag game cs i wanna see Y’ALL make ur ocs evil and give them a soundtrack so hehe @florbelles @unholymilf @shellibisshe @ghostfvcker @benwishaw @loriane-elmuerto @leviiackrman @jackiesarch @rosayoro @statichvm @teamhawkeye @bloodofvalyria @red-nightskies @confidentandgood @simply-jason @scalpelsister @devilbrakers @lxmbert and you!

[spookieloop]

Rules: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to know better!

Tagged By: @ja-crispea Thank you!! I really like these; I haven’t been answering basically ANYTHING I get tagged in lately because I’m like “Oh want to draw a thing to go with this” so it sits in my notes until I draw it...but I never draw it...and lately I draw Guzma instead

1. Name: Elizabeth

2. Nicknames: Ellie, Lizzi, Trouble, Mrs. Boogeyman, Brat

3. Zodiac Sign: Cancer 🌞, Sagittarius 🌙, Virgo ✨

4. Height: 5’6”. Funny story, the pediatrician I saw when I was a kid/teen lost her license a little while ago for Malpractice- When I was a teen she measured me and insisted I was 5’10” so I went around believing that until I started dating a guy who was 6’3” and he called bullshit and brought out the measuring tape 😂 (in my defense I have out-of-proportionally long arms, so I can reach the this a tall person can)

5. Languages Spoken: Only English unfortunately; I kee trying to learn other languages, but my attention span isn’t great

6. Nationality: American

7. Favorite Season: Fall 🍁🍂🎃

8. Favorite Flower: Rose 🥀

9. Favorite Scent: Normal Scent-Old Leather, but actually my FAVORITE Smell is Skunk Smell 🦨, people always assume that’s a weed joke, but I mean literal skunks. Always has been ever since I was little. Gasoline is a favorite too(but fuck oil that shit is nasty)

10. Favorite Color: Red (Black moreso, but some people argue that “isn’t a color”)

11. Favorite Animal: I want to talk about “Flying Fox Bats” 🦇because they are dope as shit, but I’m a basic bitch-wolves are my fav 🐺

12. Favorite Fictional Character(s): Childhood Favorites? Death Vader, The Joker/Harley Quinn(BtAS), Billy Loomis(Scream), Sally(NBC), Manchester Black(Superman Vs The Elite), Giovani(Pokémon), Jesse&James(Pokémon), Prince Zuko(ATLA), Vulpes Inculta(Fallout NV), Benny Gecko(Fallout NV), Reaver(Fable 2). Characters I’m obsessed with nowadays? Lucien Lachance(TES Oblivion), Vilkas(TES Skyrim), Lord Harkon(TES Skyrim), Porter Gage(Fallout 4), John Seed(Farcry 5), Jacob Seed(Farcry 5), Sharky Boshaw(Farcry 5), Doomhead(31), Foxy Coltrane(3 From Hell), Otis Driftwood(House of 1000 corpses trilogy), Baby Firefly(House of 1000 Corpses Trilogy), Guzma(Pokémon), Cullen Rutherford(Dragon Age), Morrigan(Dragon Age), Fenris(Dragon Age), Anders(Dragon Age), Allistair(Dragon Age), Zevran(Dragon Age), Gaspard Du,Chalon(The Masked Empire), Ben Mears(Salem’s Lot-book, haven’t seen the movie)

13. Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: I love them all for different reasons, but I’m going to have to say Hot Chocolate. Caffeine doesn’t actually energize me tbh, I like herbal teas and iced coffee though.

14. Average Sleep Hours: somewhere around 4; I get up early with my son and go to bed late with my husband(he works second shift) so my sleeping hours really depend on when my baby boy wakes up

15. Dog or Cat Person: Cat person

16. Number of Blankets you Sleep With: 1, 2 if it’s particularly cold

17. Dream Trip: Would love to see Norway, also Ireland

18. Blog Established: idk I was still pregnant so probably about two years ago now

19. Followers: 358

20. Random Fact: When I was a little kid, I thought the Christian God and Santa Claus were the same beings. I mean they were both presented to little child me as old dudes with big white beards who constantly watched everything you did to determine your morality; plus I associated naughty list Coal with Brimstone from Hell. Ironically, I grew up to be Norse Pagan, and the Santa Claus character was partially based off of Odin. My Great-Grandfather was a priest.

I Tag: @atomkatz @just-an-adventurer @chazz-anova @naromoreau @xredskullxx @booklover2929 @manwhoisdumb @undead-gearhead

[magicbound-a]

Companion Verse

FULL NAME: Orsino VARRIC’S NICKNAME: Duke. ( thanks to @extravagantliar )  AGE: Fifty-two (52) main game and fifty-five (55) during Trespasser.  RACE: Elf (city/circle).  CLASS: Mage. SPECIALIZATION: Force magic.

RECRUITMENT QUEST

   The Inquisitor will first meet Orsino during the meeting with Fiona in the pre-acquisition to In Hushed Whispers. He will be briefly introduced by Fiona as helping oversee the mages before he excuses himself, saying he can be spoken with after the Inquisitor sits down with Fiona first. He does not have a presence during the negotiations with Fiona and Alexius. 

   After a little bit of exploring, he can be found in Redcliffe, able to be conversed with. He seems distressed about the turn of events with Fiona and Tevinter, but seems more outraged with the Order and Tevinter than he does Fiona. There’s minor hints in his dialogue that he plans to do something about it all, but nothing is said outright. 

   Companions will comment on his existence, either about who he is and the rumors about him. If Varric is brought along, there will be a minor dialogue cutscene when the building is exited where Varric will talk more about Orsino and also address the lies he told about Orsino’s death and the dramatized use of blood magic. Varric is reluctant to say anything about him actually doing blood magic and it’s left very vague. 

   It’s not until after the move to Skyhold that he regains relevance. If In Hushed Whispers was completed, Fiona will reveal that before the Inquisitor traveled to Redcliffe Castle to meet with Alexius, a large chunk of the mages suddenly went missing. She shares that she thinks Orsino had something to do with it, having good intentions, and that the Inquisitor should look for him and the mages. She says the Inquisitor should go to the advisers. If Champions of the Just was completed instead, the information will come straight from the advisers instead. 

   Talking to either Leliana, Josephine, or Cullen will say that there had been sightings and rumors of a group of mages by spies, nobles, or soldiers according to the respective adviser that pinpoints them to a tucked away area in the Hinterlands. Once traveled there, Orsino and the mages will be found. Initially defensive ( or hostile if templars were sided with ), the Inquisitor can reason with him where eventually he can be recruited as long as the Inquisitor promises that no harm will come to these mages. 

   The first conversation with him will be about either In Hushed Whispers or Champions of the Just. 

If the mages were allied with, you will receive heavy approval from him immediately.

If the mages were conscripted, you will be met with medium disapproval. 

If the templars were allied with, you will be met with heavy disapproval.

If the templars were conscripted, you will be met with medium disapproval unless the dialogue tree is carefully navigated. Orsino is skeptical for the time being. 

LOCATION IN SKYHOLD

   He can be found in the gardens or the library, away from other people. 

APPROVES

   Orsino approves of any kindness and mercy displayed to mages, notably circle mages. In general, he will approve of generosity, kindness, and mercy shown to anyone who had been dealt a bad hand, had been inflicted with injustice, or had made honest mistakes. He believes in peaceful resolutions as long as it does not infringe on someone’s right to justice or a truly abhorrent person is given mercy. While he believes in personal choice and personal freedom, openly detesting the Circles, he approves of reform, allowing mages to govern themselves, and does actively believe that it’s best for everyone that mages have access to education and people of their own kind. He does not approve of reform of the Order or the inclusion of templars. Any uses of tranquility will result in great disapproval. 

      Companion Quest: similar to other companions, Orsino has optional quests in different regions. These quests comprise of finding small groups of refugee mages and promising them safety within the Inquisition. This is not his major companion quest, only a way to earn approval like other companions.

Allying with the mages. 

Ally with the Grey Wardens. 

Let Celene and Briala co-rule. 

Not doing the rituals in the Temple of Mythal. 

Morrigan drinks from the well. 

Dalish Inquisitor drinking from the well will grant approval.

DISAPPROVES

   Orsino disapproves of any overly support of the Order, templars, and the Chantry. He disapproves of any talk about mages needing to be governed or the Circles being re-established without reform. Severe punishment of mages and circle mages will net disapproval. Denying justice, using violent resolutions, giving mercy to abusive individuals, and stifling personal choice/freedom gives disapproval. 

Conscripting the mages or templars. 

Allying with the templars.

Let Gaspard rule (even if blackmailed by Briala). 

Doing the rituals in the Temple of Mythal. 

Any race except a Dalish elf drinking from the well.

PERSONAL QUEST(S) + TAROT CARDS

    Orsino’s initial card is based upon the TEN OF SWORDS. One of the larger qualities to Orsino was the tragic loss he endured at the Right of Annulment and how the trauma lingers even years later. A lot of Orsino’s reactions and opinions on things are either based upon his life in the Circle or the Right of Annulment. He is reluctant speaking of personal details of his life, though high approval and banter with other characters will gradually ease him open. 

   The details of Orsino’s relationship with blood magic is ambiguous until an inquisitor has warm or friendly approval with him OR some other path has been taken to learn details about Orsino that he wouldn’t give ( what this path is up to the blog, but it can be something like war tables missions or seeking and forcing information from people who would know the truth ). Before, everything was based on rumors and conflicting counts. If asked too early, he denied it. 

   However, if that workaround was chosen and the Inquisitor chooses to reveal they knew the truth about Orsino before he brings it up himself, the inquisitor will receive disapproval. Alternatively, if the Inquisitor waits until Orsino’s approval is high enough for him to reveal it himself, the Inquisitor can reveal they knew all along but waited until he opened up the conversation first. The Inquisitor will receive approval if this was done with good intentions, but disapproval if it was done with bad intentions.

   Overall, the level of approval and disapproval the Inquisitor receives is based upon the Inquisitor’s personal reaction, morals, and understanding. At the end of the conversation, Orsino will express his anxieties and dilemma about whether or not he should continue using blood magic or not. He argues that quitting is not as easy as it seems and that he only ever uses himself for blood, but also admits his fear that he has become too reliant on it and has failed morally.

   The Inquisitor can choose to suggest Orsino either quit using blood magic or "encourage” him to continue, which he will say he’ll ponder their answer and say the Inquisitor might be right. These choices don’t decide his overall outcome yet nor does it affect approval, but will affect later decisions. 

   Orsino’s major quest begins with him informing the Inquisitor that he had heard whispering and rumors of a large group of Circle survivors from Kirkwall hiding in an abandoned but minor fort, a special area the Inquisitor can travel directly too. He mentions that the survival rate of the mages in Kirkwall was tragically small and that he had known of the whereabouts of most of them, leaving him eager to see if there is more than he thought. He adds on that there was an observed rise of rogue templars in the area, making him worried that they may be planning to attack the survivors.

   Once the fort is traveled to, the group will be met by hostile forces of rogue templars. Orsino insists on battling to the heart of the fort, suspicious that he has yet to see any live or dead presences of mages, but also holding onto hope that they’re hiding within and there’s still a chance to save them. Once the fort’s most inner walls are breached, it’s revealed that there was never any survivors and that the information had been fabricated by a group of templars trying to bait Orsino into a trap. Their reasoning being that he’s a mage who escaped a justifiable Right of Annulment and a maleficar. 

   The group of templars overpowers the group and smites Orsino, draining him of mana. As the leader of the templars is about to deliver a fatal blow to the Inquisitor, blood will begin to drip from his noise and he becomes unable to move. In a desperate attempt, unable to cast, Orsino had turned to blood magic to save the Inquisitor. Enraged and despaired with broken hope, Orsino will force the templar leader closer to him and increase the amount of agony the templar is in until it’s apparent Orsino is going to murder him.  

   The Inquisitor receives two critical choices: allow Orsino to kill the templar with blood magic or convince Orsino to spare him so he can be brought in for judgement. Once again, neither of these choices result in an approval change. 

   Back at Skyhold, the Inquisitor will enter one last conversation with Orsino where the Inquisitor can decide whether to tell Orsino to quit or tell Orsino it’s okay/encourage him to continue. 

   Earning approval is based upon CONSISTENCY. If an Inquisitor suggested Orsino continue, allowed him to kill the templar, but then said Orsino should quit, he will disapprove. Vice versa. At least ONE of the previous two choices must line up with the final decision to earn approval. For example, an Inquisitor who suggested he work on quitting but allowed him to kill the Templar will still earn approval for either final decision. He will follow the final decision, even if it garnered disapproval.

   Once this quest is completed, all of the other companions will know for sure that Orsino is a maleficar and this will affect banter. 

   Orsino’s card changes based upon the final decision, even if it was an inconsistent choice that received disapproval: 

If Orsino continues using blood magic, his card will be themed after THE DEVIL.

If Orsino is convinced to quit using blood magic, his card will be themed after JUDGEMENT.

ROMANCE

   Orsino is open to being romanced by any Inquisitor of any race and gender as long as they’re above a certain age (over twenty-five), are not pro-templar and pro-circle, and you have high approval with him. He will turn down Inquisitor’s he thinks to be too young and immature. 

   If romanced, his tarot card is based on THE STAR.

[robbiemeadow]

The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017

In 2017, we featured writers who offered deep insights into marriages, relationships, and parenting experiences. Their contributions included advice from clinicians, interviews with psychologists, and stories from spouses, couples, and parents about the day-to-day challenges and successes of their own relationships. We also opened submissions so that our readers can directly contribute, and we’ve received a number of inspiring stories from you.

We’re proud to feature the 10 most read articles on The Gottman Relationship Blog for 2017.

10. 10 Habits to Shape a Kind, Well-Adjusted Child by Rebecca Eanes Many times, I see parents who are intently focused on discipline, and I’m talking about the traditional use of the word here with regard to modifying behavior. Sometimes we get very caught up in “What do I do when…” or “How do I get my kid to…” and we lose sight of the bigger picture. The truth is that there are many things that are more important in shaping our children than the methods and techniques we use to modify their behavior.

9. The Grass is Greener Where You Water It by Kyle Benson Couples that trust each other understand that a good marriage doesn’t just happen on its own. It needs to be cultivated. They understand that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. As Neil Barringham says, “The grass is greener where you water it.”

8. 3 Daily Rituals That Stop Spouses from Taking Each Other for Granted by Verily Magazine Couples with marriages rich in habits, rituals, and traditions will be better suited to avoid the trap of taking each other for granted and will keep the positive side of the relationship nurtured over time.

7. 10 Things to Try Before Giving Up on Your Marriage by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW The good news is that if you are willing to put effort into rescuing your marriage, there are things you can do that can give you a fresh start. Breaking the cycle of an unhappy relationship dynamic requires a radical shift in mindset.

6. How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship by Steve Horsmon Pursuers are known for being outcome dependent and have a hard time making changes without expectations. Distancers are known for being stubborn and have difficulty making the first move when under pressure. When one partner makes a commitment to change their approach and their responses, on a consistent basis, their relationship will change.

5. I’m Raising Girls Who Are “Includers” Instead of “Mean Girls” by Lisa McCrohan, MA, LCSW-C, RYT This is how we heal the “mean girls” culture: we hold, we include, we love, we empower, and we regard our girls. And we model this in how we treat other women.

4. How to Listen Without Getting Defensive by Kyle Benson Long-lasting love requires courage. The courage to be vulnerable and to listen non-defensively, even in the heat of conflict. Especially when we are hurt and angry.

3. How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence by Parent Co. Because emotional intelligence appears to be such a strong predictor of success, researchers have looked at how caregivers can encourage its development. Specifically, Dr. John Gottman observed how parents respond to their children’s emotions in an effort to understand how emotional intelligence develops.

2. How a Parent’s Affection Shapes a Child’s Happiness for Life by Parent Co. According to Child Trends – the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families – science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children.

1. 10 Insights of Remarkable Parents from a Family Therapist by Parent Co. These insights, collected over time and gleaned from experience, parallel what we know from current brain and behavioral research about what kind of parenting is most likely to contribute to the healthy development of children.

We look forward to sharing more inspiring stories and useful, effective advice with you in 2018. Please let us know which topics you’d like us to write about here, and if you are interested in submitting to The Gottman Relationship Blog, you can do so here.

The Marriage Minute is a new email newsletter from The Gottman Institute that will improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less. Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up below.

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[foursproutlove-blog]

The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/the-best-gottman-relationship-blog-articles-of-2017/

The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017

In 2017, we featured writers who offered deep insights into marriages, relationships, and parenting experiences. Their contributions included advice from clinicians, interviews with psychologists, and stories from spouses, couples, and parents about the day-to-day challenges and successes of their own relationships. We also opened submissions so that our readers can directly contribute, and we’ve received a number of inspiring stories from you.

We’re proud to feature the 10 most read articles on The Gottman Relationship Blog for 2017.

10. 10 Habits to Shape a Kind, Well-Adjusted Child by Rebecca Eanes Many times, I see parents who are intently focused on discipline, and I’m talking about the traditional use of the word here with regard to modifying behavior. Sometimes we get very caught up in “What do I do when…” or “How do I get my kid to…” and we lose sight of the bigger picture. The truth is that there are many things that are more important in shaping our children than the methods and techniques we use to modify their behavior.

9. The Grass is Greener Where You Water It by Kyle Benson Couples that trust each other understand that a good marriage doesn’t just happen on its own. It needs to be cultivated. They understand that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. As Neil Barringham says, “The grass is greener where you water it.”

8. 3 Daily Rituals That Stop Spouses from Taking Each Other for Granted by Verily Magazine Couples with marriages rich in habits, rituals, and traditions will be better suited to avoid the trap of taking each other for granted and will keep the positive side of the relationship nurtured over time.

7. 10 Things to Try Before Giving Up on Your Marriage by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW The good news is that if you are willing to put effort into rescuing your marriage, there are things you can do that can give you a fresh start. Breaking the cycle of an unhappy relationship dynamic requires a radical shift in mindset.

6. How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship by Steve Horsmon Pursuers are known for being outcome dependent and have a hard time making changes without expectations. Distancers are known for being stubborn and have difficulty making the first move when under pressure. When one partner makes a commitment to change their approach and their responses, on a consistent basis, their relationship will change.

5. I’m Raising Girls Who Are “Includers” Instead of “Mean Girls” by Lisa McCrohan, MA, LCSW-C, RYT This is how we heal the “mean girls” culture: we hold, we include, we love, we empower, and we regard our girls. And we model this in how we treat other women.

4. How to Listen Without Getting Defensive by Kyle Benson Long-lasting love requires courage. The courage to be vulnerable and to listen non-defensively, even in the heat of conflict. Especially when we are hurt and angry.

3. How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence by Parent Co. Because emotional intelligence appears to be such a strong predictor of success, researchers have looked at how caregivers can encourage its development. Specifically, Dr. John Gottman observed how parents respond to their children’s emotions in an effort to understand how emotional intelligence develops.

2. How a Parent’s Affection Shapes a Child’s Happiness for Life by Parent Co. According to Child Trends – the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families – science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children.

1. 10 Insights of Remarkable Parents from a Family Therapist by Parent Co. These insights, collected over time and gleaned from experience, parallel what we know from current brain and behavioral research about what kind of parenting is most likely to contribute to the healthy development of children.

We look forward to sharing more inspiring stories and useful, effective advice with you in 2018. Please let us know which topics you’d like us to write about here, and if you are interested in submitting to The Gottman Relationship Blog, you can do so here.

The Marriage Minute is a new email newsletter from The Gottman Institute that will improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less. Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up below.

Name*

First

Last

Email*

Name

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

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The post The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017 appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

[foursprout-blog]

The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/the-best-gottman-relationship-blog-articles-of-2017/

The Best Gottman Relationship Blog Articles of 2017

In 2017, we featured writers who offered deep insights into marriages, relationships, and parenting experiences. Their contributions included advice from clinicians, interviews with psychologists, and stories from spouses, couples, and parents about the day-to-day challenges and successes of their own relationships. We also opened submissions so that our readers can directly contribute, and we’ve received a number of inspiring stories from you.

We’re proud to feature the 10 most read articles on The Gottman Relationship Blog for 2017.

10. 10 Habits to Shape a Kind, Well-Adjusted Child by Rebecca Eanes Many times, I see parents who are intently focused on discipline, and I’m talking about the traditional use of the word here with regard to modifying behavior. Sometimes we get very caught up in “What do I do when…” or “How do I get my kid to…” and we lose sight of the bigger picture. The truth is that there are many things that are more important in shaping our children than the methods and techniques we use to modify their behavior.

9. The Grass is Greener Where You Water It by Kyle Benson Couples that trust each other understand that a good marriage doesn’t just happen on its own. It needs to be cultivated. They understand that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. As Neil Barringham says, “The grass is greener where you water it.”

8. 3 Daily Rituals That Stop Spouses from Taking Each Other for Granted by Verily Magazine Couples with marriages rich in habits, rituals, and traditions will be better suited to avoid the trap of taking each other for granted and will keep the positive side of the relationship nurtured over time.

7. 10 Things to Try Before Giving Up on Your Marriage by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW The good news is that if you are willing to put effort into rescuing your marriage, there are things you can do that can give you a fresh start. Breaking the cycle of an unhappy relationship dynamic requires a radical shift in mindset.

6. How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship by Steve Horsmon Pursuers are known for being outcome dependent and have a hard time making changes without expectations. Distancers are known for being stubborn and have difficulty making the first move when under pressure. When one partner makes a commitment to change their approach and their responses, on a consistent basis, their relationship will change.

5. I’m Raising Girls Who Are “Includers” Instead of “Mean Girls” by Lisa McCrohan, MA, LCSW-C, RYT This is how we heal the “mean girls” culture: we hold, we include, we love, we empower, and we regard our girls. And we model this in how we treat other women.

4. How to Listen Without Getting Defensive by Kyle Benson Long-lasting love requires courage. The courage to be vulnerable and to listen non-defensively, even in the heat of conflict. Especially when we are hurt and angry.

3. How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence by Parent Co. Because emotional intelligence appears to be such a strong predictor of success, researchers have looked at how caregivers can encourage its development. Specifically, Dr. John Gottman observed how parents respond to their children’s emotions in an effort to understand how emotional intelligence develops.

2. How a Parent’s Affection Shapes a Child’s Happiness for Life by Parent Co. According to Child Trends – the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families – science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children.

1. 10 Insights of Remarkable Parents from a Family Therapist by Parent Co. These insights, collected over time and gleaned from experience, parallel what we know from current brain and behavioral research about what kind of parenting is most likely to contribute to the healthy development of children.

We look forward to sharing more inspiring stories and useful, effective advice with you in 2018. Please let us know which topics you’d like us to write about here, and if you are interested in submitting to The Gottman Relationship Blog, you can do so here.

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