#this is my first time writing anything that actually requires a rating higher than T amazingly

[tavern-aa]

Are You Serious: Tetsurou Kuroo

A/N: Hey there Teddy here! This is my first post on the blog and I'm excited to write for the rooster man. I hope you enjoy and I'd love of possible to get some feedback. I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

Rating: T for swearing and mentions of sex, but nothing explicit.

Word Count: 1.4k

X GN! Reader

Funny Prompt 22: “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

Taking a business course as an elective was not something you thought you would do at the beginning of the semester as a liberal arts major. Yet here you were, sitting in one of the drafty old buildings on the west side of campus silently cursing your advisor for talking you into this. It was fine for all of six minutes until you found there was a fundamental problem with your class.

Your seatmate was a fucking asshole.

The guy was fine when he first walked in. You had just sat down and got situated in your seat when your attention was caught by the opening of the classroom door. He was tall and had a unruly head of black hair. His eyes seemed to be naturally dazed which seemed to fit with his overall disheveled sexy aesthetic. General consensus: 10/10 would smash.

Your chances of hopefully getting a taste of that sexy mess rises when he started making his way towards the empty seat to your right. You turned your head in hopes he wouldn't notice you checking him out. You thought you had lucked out when took the seat and slouched forward to rest his head on his arm. His eyes trailed the room lazily before stopping on you. You felt yourself unconsciously straighten your back under his sharp hazel eyes. He kept his gaze trained on you for a moment longer before speaking.

"Hey, you mind telling me which class this."

The request confused you, "um, this is practical business with Professor Honda. Why do you ask?" 

He hummed for a moment, "no real reason I just wanted to make sure you were in the right class." 

You furrowed your brow cautiously. "And what exactly do you mean by that?" 

The mystery guy only shrugged as a condescending look overtook his face, "nothing really, you just don't look like someone who would be taking a class like this."

Suddenly this guy became less of a hunk...

Your face took on a harsh scowl at his words. What the hell did he mean by that?

 "A class like this?" You prompted, making sure he could hear the edge in your voice.

 "You know" he started, "a class that requires practical thinking rather than just relying on feelings." 

He looked you up and down seeming to be taking you in, "you're an art student right?" 

“Yeah so what?”

“Well it’s no secret that you artist aren’t the most logical bunch, so I think it’s pretty safe to assume you all don’t take classes with higher critical thinking.” 

The jerk then had the audacity to flutter his eyelashes in a faux innocent manner, “aren’t you going to ask how I knew you were an art major?” 

You honestly didn’t care at this point you just wanted to punch the guy. 

“Not really,” you started. “But you seem like the kind of prick who would tell me anyway.”

The prick’s grin stretched further, honestly making him look like an attractive Grinch. 

“Well at least I know you catch on quick. Your look is what gave you away, that whole alternative artsy look is pretty standard for your type.”

You were pretty sure your eye was starting to twitch at this point. Who did this guy think he is? You sighed a bit as you watched your professor walk into the class and began to set up. Not wanting him to have the last word, you leaned your body closer to him and lowered your voice so as not to draw attention.

 “I know I’m just an emotional art student, but I can positively infer that I’m going to kick your ass if you keep talking shit.” 

You straightened up as Professor Honda started to the lecture, making sure to school your face so as not to react to the jerk’s shocked expression.

-

-

-

-

-

Things only seemed to spiral from then on. You found out that first day that you obnoxious seatmate’s name was Kuroo and he was a business major in the same year as you. You also learned he was just as petty as he was blunt, seeing as how he continued to sit next to you in class and went out of his way to goad you. Whether it be asking about your latest project in a condescending way or commenting on how your outfit that day fit your “aesthetic” as he put it. 

Your rivalry didn’t only reside in your conversation but it also started stretching into your academics. You two were well known in class for trying to out do each other during discussions and tests. Your professor didn’t seem to mind, rather they found the whole situation amusing. So amusing in fact they decided they wanted to up the ante on the class drama. By deciding to pair you two for your end of the semester project. You know, because that’s always fun.

The project itself was actually interesting, you and your partner had to make a presentation on a specific scenario. What would you bring on a deserted island, so as to thrive rather than survive. So instead of the usual practical items like water or a weapon you and your partner had free range to create a scenario where your items help you thrive in a business sense. 

You were excited about the whole thing, if only it didn’t imply that you would have to see Kuroo outside of this class. The two of you had decided to work at your place because despite how much you didn’t want him in your place you knew you didn’t want to be seen with him around campus. So the Saturday after the project was assigned found you and Kuroo hunkered in your apartment begrudgingly working.

“So...”

You looked up from your paper to look at Kuroo who was seated across from you on your living room floor.

 “So what?” 

Kuroo lifted one of his eyebrows, “so, what are you going to bring to your island?” 

“What are you going to bring to yours?” 

The dark haired man sighed at your usual defensiveness.

 “Well if you must know I would bring a box of condoms.”

“Excuse me?”

Kuroo smirked at you, “you heard me.” 

You glared back at him, “why the hell would you bring a box of condoms to a deserted island?” 

Kuroo began to twirl his unused pen in his hand, “because the next thing I would bring with me is you” he all but purred.

You flinched back in shock but became irritated at the familiar feeling of heat under your skin.

“What are you getting at?” 

“I’m not trying to get at anything, I would have thought that my intentions were clear.”

You scrunched your face up at his cocky tone, “no your intentions were clear in I’m just trying to find out your angle.”

 Kuroo leaned his body closer towards you.

 “You don’t need to worry your little head about my angle just so as long as I can see you in a few...” he trailed off, racking his gaze up and down your body.

“Is this really your convoluted way of propositioning me?”

“Yep”

You were silent for a moment taking the time to observe Kuroo. He looked his usual messy but attractive self, but his eyes held a certain vulnerability you don’t remember ever seeing. 

“Are you serious?”

You watched closely as Kuroo lightly scratched the back of his neck.

 “Well, I am hoping for a bit more romance involved but yeah.” He took one of his large calloused hands in yours, “I’m asking you out baby, so what do you say?”

Now for the record you usually regarded yourself as a normally logical person. You were smart and you were clever, but looking at Kuroo in that moment brought back all the feelings you constantly shoved down. And that damn pet name, it wasn’t even original but it still left your heart racing and your palms sweaty. 

“I’d say, I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island” you said. “But I guess I can see past your weird fantasies for now, sure I’ll go out with you.” 

Kuroo’s face broke out into a soft smile but before he could say anything you spoke again.

“But if you talk shit about my major ever again, I WILL kick your ass.”

[reading-writing-revolution]

Heather Cox Richardson

December 29, 2020 (Tuesday)

There is definitely a feeling of change in the air. For all his continuing insistence that he won the 2020 election, Trump is a lame duck.

Today’s complicated fight in the Senate over the one-time stimulus payment of $2000 illustrated that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), not Trump, now controls the Republican caucus. Trump originally refused to sign the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2021, the bill that contains the coronavirus relief measures, because he claimed he objected to its meager $600 stimulus payments. Six hundred dollars was the amount his negotiators had demanded, but he suddenly said he wanted them to be $2000. Democrats in the House jumped on Trump’s demand for the higher payment and they passed a measure on Monday to increase the payments.

Trump had attacked the bill largely because he is angry at McConnell and Senate Majority Whip John Thune (R-SD) (a whip keeps party members in line behind the party leader) for acknowledging Biden’s victory in November. He was trying to illustrate his power by refusing to sign the bill at all. But Sunday night he gave in without winning anything. Yet, he continued to say he wanted higher payments. The House was happy to give him what the Democrats had wanted all along; today, Trump lost the showdown in the Senate.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) introduced the measure, but Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) killed it. This enabled the two embattled Republican Senate candidates from Georgia both to support Trump and to claim they wanted higher payments, all without actually having to vote for the higher payments. McConnell bested Trump all around: he had no intention of raising those payments no matter what Trump tweeted... and he didn’t.

Trump’s influence in Washington is waning in other ways, too. Yesterday, the House repassed the National Defense Authorization Act over Trump’s veto. Trump claims to object to the bill for a number of reasons, including that it will require that military bases currently named for Confederate generals be renamed, but this is the measure into which Congress put the Corporate Transparency Act I wrote about a few days ago. It will undercut the country’s plague of so-called shell companies, which enable money laundering and other criminal activity because they are owned and operated in secret. The new measure will require that all owners and operators of such companies be clearly identified.

This will likely impact the Trump family, which uses shell companies.

There were other rumblings today that Trump’s post-presidential life might have some sticky places. The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office has hired forensic accountants to help investigate Trump and his businesses. This investigation is a criminal investigation. New York Attorney General Letitia James is in charge of a civil investigation into Trump’s businesses.

But the big thing which showed momentum is moving away from Trump is that President-Elect Joe Biden is forcefully criticizing the Trump administration for its failure to plan for distribution of the coronavirus vaccine.

With more than 330,000 Americans dead of Covid-19 and infections spiking, Biden today noted that the Trump administration has fallen behind on vaccine distribution. The effort got off to a poor start as the administration delivered fewer doses than it had promised and initially blamed Pfizer for a “miscommunication,” only to have Pfizer state that it had “millions of doses” in a warehouse but had received no information about where to send them.

The administration promised to vaccinate 20 million Americans by the end of December, but yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that it had administered just 2.1 million doses in two weeks, although that number is likely somewhat low because of lag times in reporting. At the current rate, Dr. Leana S. Wen writes in the Washington Post, we can expect to achieve herd immunity in 10 years.

The administration at first refused to share information with the Biden camp about distribution, claiming there was a plan, even though, when finally part of discussions in early December, Biden said “[t]here is no detailed plan that we've seen, anyway, as to how you get the vaccine out of a container, into an injection syringe, into somebody's arm.”

Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar responded that Biden’s claim was “nonsense.” “[W]e have comprehensive plans from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention working with 64 public health jurisdictions across the country as our governors have laid out very detailed plans that we’ve worked with them on. We’re leveraging our retail pharmacies, our hospitals, our public health departments, our community health centers.” Azar said the distribution process was being “micromanaged and controlled by the United States military, as well as our incredible private sector. We do hundreds of millions of vaccinations a year. We’re leveraging the systems that are known, and that work here in the United States." Azar assured Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that, as soon as the vaccines were approved, the government would be shipping them “to all of the states and territories that we work with. And within hours they can be vaccinating,”

It turns out Biden was more right than Azar. The administration planned simply to get the vaccines to the states, and then leave to them the problem of actually getting the vaccines into people’s arms. But state Departments of Health are strapped for money after trying to manage the pandemic for nine months, and had been allotted only $6 million apiece to make the distributions happen. (The new Consolidated Appropriations Act that Trump just signed has significantly more money in it for distribution.)

“The Trump administration’s plan to distribute vaccines is falling behind, far behind,” Biden said today. “As I long feared and warned, the effort to distribute and administer the vaccine is not progressing as it should.”

Finally stung, Trump tweeted tonight that “It is up to the States to distribute the vaccines once brought to the designated areas by the Federal Government. We have not only developed the vaccines, including putting up money to move the process along quickly, but gotten them to the states. Biden failed with Swine Flu!” (Biden was not in charge of the Obama Administration’s response to H1N1 in 2009, which broke out three months after Obama took office.)

Biden promised to invoke the National Defense Production Act, a law that permits the president to require companies to produce goods at the same time that it guarantees them a market for those goods, to speed up the production of supplies necessary to distribute the vaccine quickly. “I have directed my team to prepare a much more aggressive effort, with more federal involvement and leadership to get things back on track,” he said.

But he warned that we are behind and, breaking with the Trump administration, warned that things are going to get much worse before they get better. The spike in infections along with the fallout from holiday gatherings means we will see high case numbers in January and high death tolls in February. It will be mid-March, he warns, before we see improvement. “The next few weeks and months are going to be very tough, a very tough period for our nation — maybe the toughest during this entire pandemic,” Biden said. “I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.”

“We are going to get through this. Brighter days are coming,” Biden said. “But it’s going to take all of the grit and determination we have as Americans to get it done.”

[adverb-slut]

Breakpoint (Fanfiction) Part 1/6 | Belphegor

Heyo, it’s me again!  This is an older fanfic for Obey Me! that I haven’t updated in a hot minute, but I’m planning on working on it soon-ish.  Anyway, this isn’t fluffy or cute or anything, it’s really mostly lore stuff!  

Anywho, it’s a six-part story (only parts one through three are written so far) and focuses on each of the brothers (Satan being the exception since he was never an angel) breaking point in when they decided to rebel against their Father when they were angels up in the Celestial Realm.  

You can read all the chapters that are up (one, two, and three) here on AO3, but I shall post them on Tumblr one by one in the coming days.  

Also, I know I still have more requests to do, and I am working on them, I promise!

Title:

Breakpoint

Summary:

These are the tales of when Belphegor, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Mammon, and Lucifer each decided to actively rebel against their Father and together incite the Great Celestial War.  

Genre:

Backstory/Lore

Rating:

T

Word Count:

3126

Additional Note:

The chapters are ordered “age-wise,” in the sense that Belphegor is first and Lucifer is last.  However, the actual content of the stories do not go chronologically, save for Lucifer’s chapter, which brings all the previous chapters together.  As I stated before, the first chapter is Belphie’s!

-

“Belphie, stop squirming,” Beelzebub muttered.  “You’re not very heavy, but if you keep moving around, I’m gonna lose my grip and drop you.”  He readjusted his hands under his twin’s arms as he flapped his wings in descent.

Belphegor fidgeted a bit more at the movement, earning a hmph from his brother.  He knew better than to look down, especially as an angel without wings and so unused to flying, but some kind of inane reflex prompted him to anyway.

He gulped as he tilted his head downward.  The ground didn’t seem to be coming up awfully fast—Beel was a deliberate flyer—but that didn’t stop a tingle from snaking its way up his spine.  He clutched the scroll in his hand tightly, not daring to imagine what would happen should he drop it and it go whizzing down all the way to the verdant plains below.  

“I always forget how far the cloud cover of the Celestial Realm is from Earth’s surface,” Belphegor commented.  “I can’t believe you make this flight every day, Beel.”

“It’s my job, Belphie,” Beel responded cheerfully.  “Someone has to guard Eden, you know?” After a pause, he scanned their surroundings below, and decided, “Alright, I’m going to drop you off here.  I’ll walk the rest of the way—Eden’s only a half a mile north, but I’m pretty sure there’s a town nearby here for you to explore.”

As Belphegor’s feet touched Earth’s surface and he wriggled free from his brother’s grasp, he marveled at the solidness of the ground, despite having made this excursion several times before.  In the Celestial Realm, everything under their feet would be on a layer of cloud, and it was strange for him to feel the sturdiness of soil against the soles of his sandals.  

He turned to his twin.  “Thanks, Beel.”

“I would say, ‘anytime,’ but Belphie, you can’t keep doing this,” Beel warned, wringing the hem of his tunic anxiously.  “You know you always get in trouble whenever you come down here.”

Belphegor sighed.  Getting in trouble was quite an understatement.  As the Angel of the Sabbath, he was meant to spend his time in the Celestial Realm, managing reports on which humans below kept the covenant of the Sabbath and which did not, and calculating percentages of whether or not their Sabbath-related actions warranted them a spot in heaven.  As far as his Father was concerned, this was not a job that required him to go down to Earth, and every time that he did, he had quite the plethora of punishments to endure—most in the form of excruciatingly long lectures on disobedience. 

But that didn’t stop him from making the odd trips down to Earth.  It wasn’t necessarily the planet itself that fascinated him, but the creatures that inhabited it: in his opinion, there was no other being that his Father had created so engrossing than the strange little mortals that looked surprisingly like their angelic counterparts above.  These creatures—these humans —he could never find a way to truly describe them.  

Humans, with their mortal life spans, each living only a fraction of what he had lived, who had seen only an iota of what he had seen.  Humans, who lived each day like it was their last and loved so fiercely that altruism seemed to be embedded into their very beings. Humans, who were just another one of his Father’s innumerable possessions, expendable and easy to dispose of.     

He couldn’t help but allow himself to visit them now and again, and due to the fact that his Father had decided in the Beginning that wings were given to angels based on their job and how often they needed to travel down to Earth, he had to rely on his twin, Beelzebub, to fly him down on his way to Earth for his daily morning shift as a Guardian of Eden.

However, this always brought the discussion of when Beel was supposed to return after his stint at Eden to recollect his brother, so together they could fly back home.

“I’ll come back at sunset—that’s okay, right, Belphie?”  Beel asked. It had been the same schedule the pair had been using every time they visited Earth. 

“Uh,” Belphegor began, turning his eyes downward, as he unfurled the scroll that he had been holding.  “About that ...”

Beel’s eyes widened as he saw the contents of the scroll.  “Isn't that … isn’t that the official schedule for Messenger Angels on when they’re supposed to deliver messages to humans?”  He gulped. “Why do you have that?”

“Relax, I asked Gabriel for a copy, and he said I could have it,” Belphegor reassured.  He pointed to the hundreds of boxes inked on the papyrus, each box containing writing that depicted a single message, to whom it was for, and where a Messenger Angel could find the recipient.  “Some of these have dates for when they have to be delivered by,” he explained, tracing his finger along one of the boxes, which was stamped with an angel’s personal seal and acted as their signature.  “The ones sealed with purple wax means that someone has already been assigned to deliver the message because it was so urgent.”  He moved to the next box, which was stamped with red wax.  “This one means that it can be delivered at any time, but someone already is en route to do it.”  He then pointed to a box that had no stamps near it whatsoever. “And these?  They’re nonurgent  and no one’s signed up to dispatch them.  Those are gonna be mine.”

Beelzebub gulped.  “What do you mean, yours?”

He rolled the scroll back up and took a deep breath, not daring to look his brother in the eye.  He hadn’t told Beelzebub of his plan, yet, and he dreaded to hear his twin’s opinion of it.

Beel was a fastidious worker, who was proud of his role as one of the Guardians of Eden, but he was even more proud of his younger brother’s monumental task of being the angel who was in control of the entire Sabbath.  Belphegor’s titular role of Angel of the Sabbath was one that afforded him quite a bit of fame and power up in the Celestial Realm.  There wasn’t an angel who didn’t know his name, and he was always getting stopped by those who wanted his advice on various subjects, most of which Belphegor knew nothing about.

But that didn’t stop him from envying the role of angels who were granted wings and were permitted to visit Earth as often as they needed—Guardian Angels and Messenger Angels (as well as some of the all-powerful Archangels); even though their faceless roles didn’t offer as much prestige as his did, they were gifted the privilege of actually interacting with humans.

“I can’t keep doing this,” Belphegor admitted.  “Coming down here, spending a few hours until the sun goes down, just watching them, you know, Beel?  I want to talk to them, learn about them, heck, I want to learn from them—”

“No, stop,” Beel interrupted.  His eyebrows were upturned in worry as he lifted his brother’s chin so he could look him in the eyes.  “Belphie, don’t tell me that you want to stay here forever—” He paused and glanced at the scroll that Belphegor had been holding.  His eyes widened as he made the connection. “—posing as a Messenger Angel.”

“Not forever, Beel,” Belphegor reassured.  “Just … a few weeks. Let’s say three, okay?”

Beelzebub massaged his forehead.  “Three weeks? That’s three weeks where you won’t be able to do your duties as the Angel of the Sabbath.  You can’t—no—no—Father would be incensed.”  He reached over to his brother and grabbed his arms.  “That’s it, I’m taking you back to the Celestial Realm right now.”

He shook off his brother’s hands.  “No, Beel.  I’m doing this.  I’ve already made up my mind.”  He sighed, closing his eyes. “Just … promise me you’ll support me in this?”

Beelzebub smiled.  “Okay!” He grabbed Belphegor’s shoulders and flapped his wings as if he hadn't said a word.

“What—Beel put me down!”  He squirmed and kicked his legs.  “I’m serious!” He opened his eyes and looked down as they flew higher and higher, farther and farther above the Earth’s surface.  Taking a deep breath, he stopped wriggling and held still. “Beel … please. Just three weeks. I promise I’ll have my curiosity sated by then—I’ll never come back to Earth after that.  I’ll never leave the Celestial Realm, I’ll—I’ll stay up and run the numbers of Sabbath-day-keepers, I—I won’t even think of humans—I swear!”  He sighed. “... I won’t ... even think of humans.”

Their ascent stopped.  He couldn’t see his twin’s facial expression from where he hung, but he could hear the weariness in his voice.  “Who’s going to take over the role of the Angel of the Sabbath when you’re gone?”

Belphegor’s heart lifted.  “Azazel and Telantes. They work under me, you remember?”

He could feel the body-shaking groan that left Beelzebub.  “Fine.” He flapped his wings as they descended.  “Three weeks. I’ll come find you at sunset at the end of them. Do you know where you’ll be then?”

“I’m not really sure,” Belphegor admitted.  As his feet came to rest on Earth’s surface, he looked at his brother.  “But you’ll come find me, right?”

Beelzebub beamed.  “Of course, I will, Belphie."

-

Beel didn’t find him, and three weeks turned into three moons, which turned into three years.  

Belphegor had run out of messages to deliver after the first week and had spent most of his time wandering from city to city, country to country, living in camps that welcomed him as a messenger of the gods.

That was the case, at least, until about a moon ago; he had taken copious amounts of some kind of liquid that a village had offered him as an act of hospitality called wine.  He didn’t know what had transpired after he had consumed the fourth wineskin, but he had woken up in a deserted land, with nothing but enormous snowdrifts as far as the eye could see. 

Belphegor had seen the storehouses laden with snow in the Celestial Realm but never had he ever imagined it to be so blisteringly cold.  The Earth was still new, and humans had yet to populate the area where he was in.  Ill-equipped for such weather, Belphegor had no choice but to trek through the snow, shivering from the cold with his teeth chattering and his lips an unbecoming shade of blue.  

Being an immortal angel with no fear of hypothermia or frostbite, the only way he could find respite from the frigid air that surrounded him was to sleep.  

And sleep he did.

For days, in fact, until all Belphegor knew was sleep.  There was something cozy about the pitch darkness that enveloped him when his eyes were closed; it was a surefire welcome as opposed to the freezing wind and subzero temperatures that greeted him when he was conscious.  Sleep was a comfort, wrapping him in momentary joy instead of the crushing sense of abandonment that bodied him if he dared to open his eyes.

That was, until, he felt something other than the howling wind waking him up.  

“Belphegor, Angel of the Sabbath,” someone said, shaking his practically frozen body, which was nestled deep in a snowdrift.

“Beel?”  Belphegor asked groggily, noticing that the silhouette glowed and had wings like an angel.

The silhouette offered him a hand to help him get up, which he hesitated before taking.  “No, my name is Jabril. I am a Messenger Angel.”

Belphegor rubbed his face with frost-covered hands and widened his eyes to take a better look at the figure, who he realized wore the standard white robes and blue sash of a Messenger Angel.  He looked at their surroundings. “Why are you here? There’s no one to deliver a message to around for miles.”

Jabril shook his head.  “No, Belphegor. I’m here to deliver a message to you.”  He produced a scroll hidden within his sash and unfurled it.

Belphegor choked as he noticed that it looked exactly like the scroll he had shown his twin years ago.  

Jabril pointed to a message box, which was stamped in purple with his seal.  “Belphegor, Angel of the Sabbath, has been summoned to the Almighty’s Throne Room,” he read.  Underneath it was written today’s date and the exact coordinates to Belphegor’s location.

He gulped.  His Father never invited His sons to his Throne Room unless it was for punishment.  And it wasn’t the typical “lecture” punishment—no, no. These types of punishments were much more severe.  There was a real chance that Belphegor could have his title ripped away from him or Hell, his very existence erased.  “He waited three years to summon me.  Why?”

“You know better than to question, Father,” Jabril reminded him as he latched onto Belphegor’s shoulders and began to flap his wings.  “But you know how He is. Making you wait this long to wonder when He was going to find you might just be part of your punishment.”

Belphegor stomach clenched as the two continued to fly higher and higher into the Celestial Realm.  “I hope that really is the case.” 

-

The first thing he noticed when he entered the Throne Room was not the pearlescent marble floors, the walls encrusted in brilliant diamond, or the immense moonstone chandeliers that hung from golden chains off the ceiling.  

It wasn’t the seraphim that loitered around His throne, their haunting praises rumbling in their throats.

It wasn’t even the blinding light, the glory of his Father, that shone from the throne itself.

The first thing he noticed was the music.  

Soothing notes—a melodic piece—a cry of melancholy and reassurance, resounded from the masterful fingers of Lucifer as he guided his harp into realms of music so beautiful that Belphegor, who knew better than to linger in the Throne Room entryway, had to stop and listen.

From the left side of his Father’s throne, Lucifer’s music was a constant: he produced a sound so beautiful that the Almighty could rarely go without it.  His fascination with Lucifer’s music had grown to a point where the two were nigh inseparable.  

The Archangel of Music’s eyes were closed and his face held an expression that was so serene that Belphegor had to wonder if Lucifer even realized who his audience was; he looked as if his only purpose was to coax the notes out of the instrument, regardless of who might be listening.  

Belphegor stood entranced, his eyelids feeling heavy with the comforting tones before he was pulled out of his reverie with the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“My son.”  His Father’s voice, like peals of thunder, reverberated through the expansive throne room.  “You may approach.”

He walked forward, his shoulders straight, and tried to keep his gaze ahead, but every time his peripheral vision grazed the bright glory of his Father, his eyes watered and he was forced to look down.  When he was several feet away from the throne, he fell prostrate on the ground.

“Father,” he greeted, his forehead resting on the tile.

“Arise, Belphegor, Angel of the Sabbath,” his Father said.  “Although, perhaps it is wise to address you also by your self-given role of Messenger Angel, as well.”

He peeled himself off the ground.  Knowing better than to stare at the luminous figure of God, he stood and averted his eyes toward the almost equally brilliant Lucifer, who played on as if there was no one else in the room.  “That’d be alright.”

“Do you know why you stand before Me today?”

He took a deep breath, drawing a miasma of calmness from the harp and the low chanting of the seraphim.  “I do.”

A moment later, his Father boomed, “Do you know why, my son, I created the Sabbath?”

“I do.”

“You are the expert angel, in this case, then; explain it to Me.”

“You created it, Father, to represent the day of rest You took after spending six days creating the universe, back in the Beginning.”

His Father’s glow diminished for a moment, and Belphegor cringed.  For every time his Father’s light faltered, it would return a moment later tenfold brighter, signifying his rage.  

There it was: the glorious light roared back with a fierceness that indeed rivaled what it had been before.  “And yet, this duty of protecting such a hallowed tradition is something you are willing to shirk, only to take upon the duties of a Messenger Angel —a duty that is not even yours?”

“Yes,” Belphegor gulped.

Strangely enough, the inferno that was his Father receded slightly and didn’t get brighter.  It seemed almost as if the Almighty was actually calming down.  His voice, now, sounded like a stream of water, without an ounce of malice.  “You did well in your duties as a Messenger Angel, Belphegor; I commend you for that.  But, I cannot overlook your slothfulness into the work that I assigned to you.  I gave you the title of Angel of the Sabbath for a reason, and I expect you to go back and continue to fulfill it.  The dismissal of your actual work comes off as laziness, and I cannot tolerate My day of holy rest being made into a day of indolence on your part.”

“But, Father, I—” Belphegor knew better than to argue with God, but he had spoken without thinking.

The brightness of his Father’s glory flared irritatedly at his act of insolence, and He spoke over Belphegor as if he hadn’t said a word.  “My son, I will withdraw my original punishment from you, provided you understand the error of your ways. Answer Me, Belphegor, do you regret what you did?”

For a moment, Belphegor was silent, as he thought back to the moons that he had spent on Earth.  There were no words to describe just how much he had enjoyed his stay there, despite the overwhelming agony of going without Beel.  Every day was a new adventure as he trotted from village to village, delivering messages that his Father had decided was necessary for certain humans to hear from his underlings.  Sure, not having the actual wings of a Messenger Angel made the role significantly harder, but he was so fully dedicated to this job that it made little difference to him. Even the miserable moon he had spent in frigid hell, no matter how torturous, was worth listening to the fascinating stories that he had heard from the humans and the experiences he had gleaned. 

So that is why, Belphegor blinked through the tears that came with looking straight at his Father’s glowing presence, and declared, “No.”

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

December 29, 2020

Heather Cox Richardson

There is definitely a feeling of change in the air. For all his continuing insistence that he won the 2020 election, Trump is a lame duck.

Today’s complicated fight in the Senate over the one-time stimulus payment of $2000 illustrated that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), not Trump, now controls the Republican caucus. Trump originally refused to sign the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2021, the bill that contains the coronavirus relief measures, because he claimed he objected to its meager $600 stimulus payments. Six hundred dollars was the amount his negotiators had demanded, but he suddenly said he wanted them to be $2000. Democrats in the House jumped on Trump’s demand for the higher payment and they passed a measure on Monday to increase the payments to $2000.

Trump had attacked the bill largely because he is angry at McConnell and Senate Majority Whip John Thune (R-SD) (a whip keeps party members in line behind the party leader) for acknowledging Biden’s victory in November. He was trying to illustrate his power by refusing to sign the bill at all. But Sunday night he gave in without winning anything, and yet continued to say he wanted higher payments. The House was happy to give him what the Democrats had wanted all along, but today Trump lost the showdown in the Senate.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) introduced the measure, but Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) killed it. This enabled the two embattled Republican Senate candidates from Georgia both to support Trump and to claim they wanted higher payments, all without actually having to vote for the higher payments. McConnell bested Trump all around: he had no intention of raising those payments no matter what Trump tweeted... and he didn’t.

Trump’s influence in Washington is waning in other ways, too. Yesterday, the House repassed the National Defense Authorization Act over Trump’s veto. Trump claims to object to the bill for a number of reasons, including that it will require that military bases currently named for Confederate generals be renamed, but this is the measure into which Congress put the Corporate Transparency Act I wrote about a few days ago. It will undercut the country’s plague of so-called shell companies, which enable money laundering and other criminal activity because they are owned and operated in secret. The new measure will require that all owners and operators of such companies be clearly identified.

This will likely impact the Trump family, which uses shell companies.

There were other rumblings today that Trump’s post-presidential life might have some sticky places. The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office has hired forensic accountants to help investigate Trump and his businesses. This investigation is a criminal investigation. New York Attorney General Letitia James is in charge of a civil investigation into Trump’s businesses.

But the big thing which showed momentum is moving away from Trump is that President-Elect Joe Biden is forcefully criticizing the Trump administration for its failure to plan for distribution of the coronavirus vaccine.

With more than 330,000 Americans dead of Covid-19 and infections spiking, Biden today noted that the Trump administration has fallen behind on vaccine distribution. The effort got off to a poor start as the administration delivered fewer doses than it had promised and initially blamed Pfizer for a “miscommunication,” only to have Pfizer state that it had “millions of doses” in a warehouse but had received no information about where to send them.

The administration promised to vaccinate 20 million Americans by the end of December, but yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that it had administered just 2.1 million doses in two weeks, although that number is likely somewhat low because of lag times in reporting. At the current rate, Dr. Leana S. Wen writes in the Washington Post, we can expect to achieve herd immunity in 10 years.

The administration at first refused to share information with the Biden camp about distribution, claiming there was a plan, even though, when finally part of discussions, Biden said “[t]here is no detailed plan that we've seen, anyway, as to how you get the vaccine out of a container, into an injection syringe, into somebody's arm.”

Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar responded that Biden’s claim was “nonsense.” “[W]e have comprehensive plans from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention working with 64 public health jurisdictions across the country as our governors have laid out very detailed plans that we’ve worked with them on. We’re leveraging our retail pharmacies, our hospitals, our public health departments, our community health centers.” Azar said the distribution process was being “micromanaged and controlled by the United States military, as well as our incredible private sector. We do hundreds of millions of vaccinations a year. We’re leveraging the systems that are known, and that work here in the United States.” Azar assured Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that, as soon as the vaccines were approved, the government would be shipping them “to all of the states and territories that we work with. And within hours they can be vaccinating,”

It turns out Biden was more right than Azar. The administration planned simply to get the vaccines to the states, and then leave to them the problem of actually getting the vaccines into people’s arms. But state Departments of Health are strapped for money after trying to manage the pandemic for nine months, and had been allotted only $6 million apiece to make the distributions happen. (The new Consolidated Appropriations Act that Trump just signed has significantly more money in it for distribution.)

“The Trump administration’s plan to distribute vaccines is falling behind, far behind,” Biden said today. “As I long feared and warned, the effort to distribute and administer the vaccine is not progressing as it should.”

Finally stung, Trump tweeted tonight that “It is up to the States to distribute the vaccines once brought to the designated areas by the Federal Government. We have not only developed the vaccines, including putting up money to move the process along quickly, but gotten them to the states. Biden failed with Swine Flu!” (Biden was not in charge of the Obama Administration’s response to H1N1 in 2009, which broke out three months after Obama took office.)

Biden promised to invoke the National Defense Production Act, a law that permits the president to require companies to produce goods at the same time that it guarantees them a market for those goods, to speed up the production of supplies necessary to distribute the vaccine quickly. “I have directed my team to prepare a much more aggressive effort, with more federal involvement and leadership to get things back on track,” he said.

But he warned that we are behind and, breaking with the Trump administration, warned that things are going to get much worse before they get better. The spike in infections along with the fallout from holiday gatherings means we will see high cases in January and high death tolls in February. It will be mid-March, he warns, before we see improvement. “The next few weeks and months are going to be very tough, a very tough period for our nation — maybe the toughest during this entire pandemic,” Biden said. “I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.”

“We are going to get through this. Brighter days are coming,” Biden said. “But it’s going to take all of the grit and determination we have as Americans to get it done.”

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[militant-holy-knight]

American Founder and second U.S. president John Adams once extolled his era. Some called it The Age of Reason. It was a time in which people were beginning to know more about their world than they ever had before. Knowledge was increasing at an exponential rate, and this filled the air with excitement. The Old World – Christendom, led by the Catholic Church – was on its way out. The Enlightenment was well underway to shape the West forever. Adams, a Unitarian, was greatly pleased that men would be able to lead their lives and their own society on the basis of their own conscience.

He then less than halfway joked that, just maybe, something bad might arise from the movement of his day:

“The world grows more enlightened. Knowledge is more equally diffused. Newspapers, magazines, and circulating libraries have made mankind wiser. Titles and distinctions, ranks and orders, parade and ceremony, are all going out of fashion. This is roundly and frequently asserted in the streets, and sometimes on theatres of higher rank. Some truth there is in it; and if the opportunity were temperately improved, to the reformation of abuses, the rectification of errors, and the dissipation of pernicious prejudices, a great advantage it might be. But, on the other hand, false inferences may be drawn from it, which may make mankind wish for the age of dragons, giants, and fairies.”

Indeed, a great many false inferences were drawn from the Enlightenment. This period in history, which shaped America herself, started a downward spiral for the West that appears to have no end. Adams was right. In spite of himself and everything he achieved for the United States, times have definitely grown darker, and the cause for our empire’s downfall can be traced to its own blueprints.

As a result, the people in our day have a great need for escape. Over two centuries later, men find themselves at odds in a hateful world ruled by principalities and powers that are insurmountable. The people have been force-fed “the progress of civilization.” So now there are vast entertainment industries that produce escapist literature, film, music, and games to help people flee from the madness of their overlords. Over the centuries, they’ve carried the label of Romantics, Decadents, Symbolists, Counter-Culturists – they all run from the oppressive boot that shoves them onward to a destiny they didn’t ask for. They seek to escape from forced rationalism into something mystical.

Our Imaginations Must Be Free, Not Trapped

The mind can tolerate a wasteland for only so long. Men require a pilgrimage and retreat. Otherwise, one settles for vice and debasement. Experiencing wonder is necessary for a mature mind. It is not enough to be raised in a plain fashion, learning good moral habits to live by as if it’s all a simple matter of hygiene. Becoming a lawyer for “what’s good and what’s bad” does not securely instill the Faith in children, who, above all, are in the business of make-believe. No, we must leave the districts and subdivisions gerrymandered in our brains. We must fly above the rooftops from our suburban bobo communities. We’ve got to run for our lives into something fresh, new, and perhaps even dangerous:

“At first they had passed through hobbit-lands, a wide respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two, and now and then a dwarf or a farmer ambling by on business. Then they came to lands where people spoke strangely, and sang songs Bilbo had never heard before. Now they had gone on far into the Lone-lands, where there were no people left, no inns, and the roads grew steadily worse. Not far ahead were dreary hills, rising higher and higher, dark with trees. On some of them were old castles with an evil look, as if they had been built by wicked people. Everything seemed gloomy, for the weather that day had taken a nasty turn. Mostly it had been as good as May can be, can be, even in merry tales, but now it was cold and wet. In the Lone-lands they had been obliged to camp when they could, but at least it had been dry.”

–From The Hobbit

Perhaps it is true that people are considered respectable when they “never have adventures or do anything unexpected.” Maybe it is true that the majority of people value someone who never breaks a taboo and can be counted on to be consistent and predictable. And, after all, even Puritan-loving John Adams will tell you that obscure men are hardly ever honored. Conformity and monotony are what the world tells you it wants. But this mode of dry, uninspiring, Dudley-Do-Right, unimaginative thinking is like planting seeds in depleted soil:

“[T]he seminal ideas of Plato, Aristotle, St. Augustine, St. Thomas, only properly grow in an imaginative ground saturated with fables, fairy tales, stories, rhymes, romances, adventures–the thousand good books of Grimm, Andersen, Stevenson, Dickens, Scott, Dumas and the rest. Western tradition, taking all that was the best of the Greco-Roman world into itself, has given us a culture in which the Faith properly grows; and since the conversion of Constantine that culture has become Christian. It is the seedbed of intelligence and will, the ground for all studies in the arts and sciences, including theology, without which they are inhumane and destructive. The brutal athlete and the aesthetic fop suffer vices opposed to the virtues of what Newman called the “gentleman.” Anyone working in any art or science, whether “pure” or “practical,” will discover he has made a quantum leap when he gets even a small amount of cultural ground under him; he will grow like an undernourished plant suddenly fertilized and watered.”

–Ryan Topping, Renewing the Mind

There has been a war against fantasy, a war against wonder. And yet, those who wonder and philosophize are superior to those who despair cluelessly. And only someone who does not know everything has the capability to wonder. Therefore, what better place is there to explore than fantasy? The realm of fantasy is a place accessible to all, and as it is ever changing, we can never hope to know everything about it. The Land of Faerie, as Tolkien called it, transports and uplifts us. It renews us. It waters the soil of our minds, and it serves as a much needed respite from the godless demands of the world.

Fantasy’s Ultimate Effect

John Adams ridiculed imagination. He joked that Shakespeare could have been an electioneering agent. In his view, “superstition, prejudices, passions, fancies, and senses” were weaknesses to be manipulated, preventing you from ever having what he considered liberty. Adams believed that fantastical thinking was forced upon the West in order to control the people. This is all a grievous error. “For God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty” (1 Corinthians 1:27).

It is the imagination that enables us to survive in today’s wicked world. We have a sense of wonder that rationalists like Adams cannot understand. This sense of wonder is what prepares us for understanding the wider world and what it means. The vast majority of people who fall away from the Faith or refuse to consider it lack wonder. As a result, you have a large portion of people in the West who fall into hedonism. They try to numb their own senses as they struggle to follow the crowd – as though they were swimming among a school of fish.

“Fantasy, horror, and science fiction, apart from allowing an author to comment on things in a way he normally could not in mainstream writing (so much of which is garbage anyway) – it breeds a sense of wonder. And ladies and gentlemen, if you do not have a sense of wonder, you cannot really understand the Catholic faith. You’ll just be ‘Oh well, the bread and wine turn into the body and blood of Christ.’ You may actually believe that, but if you don’t have a sense of wonder?

“Listen, ladies and gentlemen, what is more amazing? The idea that with a wand I could wave, everything would start dancing around the room? Or that Christ Himself comes down onto the altar and becomes bread and wine that we are able to receive into ourselves? Which is more wondrous?

“If I already have a sense of wonder, then I can look at this incredible gift that God has given us. And the fact [is] that every single Mass that has ever been, or ever will be, or is being said at this moment across the globe is one with every other – and with the Crucifixion, and with the Last Supper. That’s astonishing. That’s absolutely amazing. And I have a sense of wonder that prepared me for that – to make it go from a mere set of things I learned in school and home to being a living reality that dominates my life. …

“[U]nless we approach our faith with that wondrous quality, it will grow old and tired. That is not a fault of the Faith. That’s our fault.”

–Charles Coulombe, “Off the Menu,” July 16, 2018

Being good “to be good” is not enough. John Adams thought so, but his Puritanical sensibility was mistaken. Man lives his life on a quest. He is not meant to run from his imagination and all that is mystical. He is meant to explore with awe and curiosity. His heart is meant to be lifted, not shackled.

A strange and exciting land lies before man when it comes to fantasy. We go to that place because it presages the Land Beyond we all hope to emigrate to, Heaven itself. “And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them, and said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:2-3).

[arabellaflynn]

Hello from the plague-ridden city of Boston! I wish first reassure everyone that I am fine. I am at no particular risk of catching the novel coronavirus, and if I somehow defy the odds and come down with COVID-19, I am mainly in danger of spending a couple of weeks with a really shitty cough. The hospitalization pattern for this thing is a lot like that of the seasonal flu -- the very old, the immunosuppressed, and those with restricted lung function, otherwise known collectively as 'people who get pneumonia a lot' -- with the interesting twist that, much like varicella zoster, young kids seem to be much less affected. The COVID-19 experience according to both CDC graphs and trip reports from redditors who have tested positive for it is that otherwise healthy people who aren't super old and fragile get to sit through the flu. I did that back in November with the regular rogues gallery of viruses and am not eager to do it again, but at this point I have better odds of landing myself in the hospital by slipping in the shower. On the other hand, I live with someone who has Crohn's and is on immunosuppressive medications, and someone else who has been having mystery medical problems for the past couple of years, involving but not limited to shortness of breath unresolved by asthma inhalers. So my role in this pandemic is to wash my hands a lot and protect the more vulnerable members of the herd. As of yesterday all of my in-person jobs have canceled themselves, and I am consequently stuck at home not sick for the next couple weeks at least. As of this writing, Boston is not officially on lockdown. No one's bolted inside the house, the shops are open and we can all go out and get stuff unfettered. The governor has declared a State of Emergency, mostly so they can access the extra funds and enforce a quarantine on people who have actually been exposed to the virus. Everyone lost their shit for about a day and a half and went out to buy toilet paper like it was about to be illegal. Then we calmed down a tick and realized the situation was less "T-Virus outbreak" and more "influenza++ bonus level". You don't need to hermetically seal yourself inside the house, just, like, don't go to any parties. Or hold a leadership conference, like the fuckwickets at BioGen. Those particular arrogant motherfuckers are directly responsible for most of the chaos here, since they're in an industry that's centered in the same part of town as most of the big universities, which are now either running classes online, or shut down completely. It's quiet but not dead outside. The weirdest part is actually seeing this happen in pleasant spring weather. Every other time I've lived through this, it's been because the National Weather Service has given us a couple days' warning that we're about to be on a first-name basis with a fuck-off huge storm. Although it is interesting to see how many people don't really know how detergents work. They seem to think "hand soap" is some sort of magical virus-killing substance and freak the fuck out at the empty shelves, when there is an entire aisle full of shampoo, body wash, and facial cleanser two feet to their left. It's all based on sodium laureth sulfate, guys; just pick the bottle that smells the best and go on with your day. Most of the anxiety is, as usual, caused by ignorance. Not just in the sense that people don't know a lot of things, but also that we can't know some of it until more time has passed. The R0 ("r-naught", basic rate of reproduction, or the average number of people infected by a contagious carrier) of coronavirus is 2 and a bit, which is worse than most varieties of influenza (1-2) but way better than shit like measels (10+), AIDS (2-5), bane of my childhood chickenpox (3-5), or the classic poliovirus from back in the day (5-7). The mortality rate is being reported as up to 3.4% (as figured using only confirmed cases), but postulated as more like 1% (as estimated by the CDC), which is about ten times seasonal flu, but way the fuck under other university-closing favorites like community-acquired meningitis, which runs right around 20%. All of these numbers are to be taken with a small boulder of salt. The problem is that all of the math you use to get them depends on having an accurate count of cases, which we do not. It's becoming increasingly clear that Novel Coronavirus 2019, like other things in the coronavirus class, can cause symptoms that range really widely in severity. You might get a week of fever and coughing, you might get viral pneumonia and die. The majority of people who catch this coronavirus will probably never see a doctor; they just stay home and swill NyQuil like they would with any other cold. The official count, by definition, includes only people who come to the attention of those doing the counting. Which, in the beginning stages, is restricted to those with symptoms severe enough to require medical treatment. In other words, odds are that COVID-19 is a lot more widespread than we think, but also a lot less dangerous to most people. This is not to say we shouldn't do anything about it. Most kids didn't die of measles, either. I find the graphs of mortality rate by age to be particularly intriguing. The absolute rates are basically zero for small children, don't go up by any interesting amount through the 50s (that is, a lot of the increase could be attributed to people picking up confounding factors, like pulmonary damage from other illnesses or smoking, or progression of other co-morbid conditions), and then shoot way the fuck up for 60+. I've seen the hypothesis floated that kids don't suffer much because their immune systems aren't primed for this thing and don't react too strongly. Which raises the question of whether people in the 60+ category are dying at much higher rates as an artifact of the math (i.e., small sample size of elderly cases combined with the general fragility of age might cause an artificial jump in rates), or because they were exposed to something in their youth which the younger generation were not that has prompted their immune systems to over-respond with inflammation, thus raising their odds of developing severe hyperthermia and pneumonia. Anyway. I'm going to be bored as fuck and bereft of income for the next few weeks, so expect to see a lot of drivel here. I think the personal things are mainly going to go on Patreon, seeing as I have to do something for money while all the theaters are shut down, but I'll try to also finish a lot of half-complete things and dump them here, so y'all have something to read. from Blogger https://ift.tt/3aWjSgl via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

[transientutopia]

apostasy - third fragment

WARNINGS: the rating’s been bumped up ♪

****Please be gentle, because it’s my first time ♥

Read on AO3 (highly recommended)

~~

He knows his own limits. He's recognised them to the point that it's painful for him.

"You want someone dead," he drawls, "but you're too helpless to do anything on your own."

How ironic.

~~

An entire week has lapsed, and Tetsuya still hasn't left.

Nor has Chihiro kicked him out.

God knows why.

In this time, Tetsuya has discovered every secret to Chihiro's self-proclaimed hideout.

One: revising his initial impression, it is extremely luxurious, and Chihiro refuses to tell him why. There is a hidden trapdoor -- evidently, assassins must like trapdoors -- that leads down to an open space, where there is working water, electricity and even a proper food supply.

Two: he has a lot of light novels. A lot of light novels. Tetsuya isn't sure he's ever seen this many in one location before. It rivals the shelves of those in the large Animate stores back in Tokyo.

Three: the suspected pitfall is actually a pitfall. When Tetsuya shines light in on it, he can see a few skeletons at the bottom. Chihiro argues that they fell in by themselves and that he has nothing to do with them, although he has ransacked all their belongings. He does not tell Tetsuya how he got all the way down, nor how he got back up.

Four: Chihiro has to be seriously lacking in friends and any sort of social contact for him to not have thrown Tetsuya outside yet. All the latter is doing is using his precious resources without any compensation. And his bed. They're sharing a bed.

Soon enough, something is bound to happen. Chihiro hasn't taken any jobs in the past week, and it isn't like Tetsuya would let him get away unscathed if he were to -- albeit, not that the assassin particularly cares.

Tetsuya is only waiting. Akin to a ticking time bomb that they both know will go off sooner or later, he will come.

"He's been waiting for you all this time."

"Mayuzumi-san, may I use the bath?"

"Hell no."

"Thank you very much," Tetsuya says with his back turned, hands already on the trapdoor.

"Oi!"

Chihiro groans. He's fallen so deep, it's like he doesn't know how to get back up anymore. If someone had told him a week earlier that he'd end up housing a cute detective who barely even reaches his shoulder, he would have laughed and slit their throat (he wouldn't have, it goes against his standards), probably.

How things got here, he isn't sure.

No--

--he knows exactly how.

By housing Tetsuya, he's only really delaying the inevitable. He can't harm him, which rules out a lot of things that would make his life easier: namely, killing the said male.

They both know it's only a matter of time for Seijuurou to arrive.

You could always just leave, a voice in the back of Chihiro's mind says. Leave him here and go off by yourself. You've had so many chances to do it. When his back was turned, when he was fast asleep... Even now, as he soaks himself in your bath.

But his pride won't let him.

At the same time, he isn't stupid. He's not a dreamer -- he's realistic. He's pragmatic in his decisions, and above all, he honours the senses that he's honed through years and years of being in the business.

He can't win.

He knows that more than anybody -- there's no way he can win against Akashi Seijuurou, the rumoured "strongest of the underworld". It's like waging war on the King himself -- guaranteed death.

So why doesn't he move?

He doesn't have any attachment to this place -- no matter how opulent it is in a city like this, riches mean nothing if the owner is dead.

He knows that more than anybody.

Better than anybody.

"I came to apprehend the both of you."

"What an idiot," Chihiro laughs sharply. "You won't be able to do shit."

"It isn't polite to talk about people behind their backs."

Chihiro swings around, eyes wide, chair swiveling.

Except his chair doesn't have any wheels.

Realising his mistake far too late, Chihiro lets out a string of curses as he falls backwards, slamming onto the ground. The chair makes a sound of splintering wood.

Well, fuck.

Tetsuya stares at him, jaw agape in shock. Chihiro stares back, equally shocked. He hasn't done something so clumsy in over ten years.

...

And then, Tetsuya laughs.

He bursts into pure, unadulterated giggles; then full-blown laughter, as Chihiro gawks at him.

(It definitely isn't because he's smiling beautifully-- freely, for the first time, either.)

Still on the floor, Chihiro realises something.

Tetsuya's hair -- it isn't black.

"You-- your hair--"

"This?" Tetsuya tugs at a lock of his own hair absentmindedly, "I realised that there isn't any point anymore."

"Your natural hair colour is light blue?"

He raises a brow as if to say, "Your natural hair colour is light grey?" but Chihiro is too preoccupied attempting to take in the bizarre sight before him.

'How the hell did he even wash out the black so easily?'

As if hearing his thoughts, Tetsuya holds up a small bottle. Chihiro recognises it as a certain, liquid solution made several years back that eradicates all traces of hair dye immediately on application -- it had spread across the globe like wildfire.

"Oh," he says eloquently. Then, his gaze travels downwards, and his mind goes entirely blank.

Tetsuya is wearing his clothes.

"Ah," he looks down at himself innocently, as if he hadn't just destroyed several sections of Chihiro's brain, "I took the liberty of borrowing some clothes, as mine ended up getting stained slightly. It'll only be for today, is that okay?"

Since the beginning of his stay, Tetsuya had been washing his clothes minimally, making sure to keep up his façade as a citizen of the city: there was no doubt it had been discomforting for him to stay in such an outfit for days on end. He had done so without any complaints, but now, Chihiro wishes he had lent him his clothes earlier. It isn't as if Tetsuya goes outside at the moment, anyway.

...Or, alternatively, he wishes he could erase the sight from his mind altogether.

(He really doesn't.)

Swallowing dryly, Chihiro allows his eyes to wander even further down, regretting it instantly.

The air in this city is polluted, and humid, though not too hot -- it has always been like that.

'I've never been more grateful-- I mean, spiteful towards it. Right.'

He's extremely "spiteful" for a good reason.

After all, Tetsuya isn't wearing pants.

To be more accurate, the boy is donning nothing but an oversized, white, button-up shirt with sleeves that have been folded up several times to his wrists ... And a pair of boxer shorts that have been tied to stop them from falling.

Chihiro swallows again.

It was already evident before, but even more so now: Tetsuya's skin has an alabaster, milky, smooth paleness to it that extends from the tips of his toes to his forehead. He looks as if he's never gotten a sunburn, much less a tan, in his entire life. His body is slim, lithe and toned. His cheeks are slightly flushed, too, and his locks have small droplets of water dripping from them that fall to his bare expanse of collarbone before slipping out of sight beneath his shirt. Chihiro's floor has always been freakishly spotless, and Tetsuya has evidently taken advantage of that fact, opting to go barefoot.

He's close to killing himself. He wants to kill himself, when the very essence of his job is to kill other people.

'Fuck,' Chihiro thinks repeatedly.

Remembering that he still hasn't gotten up yet, he quickly rises and reaches for the chair. Before he grasps it, however, he stills, and then strides over to the couch.

Inwardly, he praises his mind for recalling the crack in the chair's frame in time. The last thing he wants to do now is to embarrass himself even further.

...Though, he isn't sure what's more humiliating than his own dick going erect at the sight of someone who is, supposedly, his "enemy", dressed in an oversized shirt, that specifically belongs to Chihiro himself.

He's never going to see that shirt the same way. He makes a mental note to burn it once Tetsuya leaves.

Raising a brow, the detective pointedly looks towards the table, and then to the taller man.

"...Do you want to continue reading? I apologise for scaring you."

'You aren't sorry at all, you bastard.'

When Tetsuya's lips tug upwards, Chihiro realises that he spoke aloud.

"I apologise," he repeats, eyes still sparkling with mischief.

And fuck if that doesn't turn Chihiro on even more.

Tetsuya, the damn cause of everything that has begun to turn the renowned assassin's world upside-down -- has he mentioned that he kills people for a living but can't even deny a cute boy over a head shorter than him anything -- walks over to the abandoned desk.

Then, he fucking bends down.

He bends down and picks up Chihiro's light novel from the floor. He dusts it off lightly and then puts it back on the table.

Fuck.

Judging by his barely-visible, sly smile, he knows exactly what he's doing.

'Well screw you, too,' Chihiro seethes.

Two can play this game.

Footsteps entirely silent, he traipses over. Tetsuya's back is still turned, and naturally, Chihiro takes the chance to lean over. He places his palms on the table, arms on both sides of the shorter male, essentially trapping him in.

He's so close that he can feel Tetsuya tense up without even looking.

"Thanks," he purrs, head dipped down so his lips are right beside Tetsuya's ear, "for picking it up."

"...!"

Tetsuya inhales sharply.

Then, he makes the biggest mistake--

--he turns around, still cornered between Chihiro's toned, muscular arms.

Their gazes clash in a mix of cobalt blue and dark grey, both widening simultaneously.

It's as if time stills in that moment.

Everything fades out to white noise behind them.

And then--

--Tetsuya's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and that's it.

That's it.

Chihiro breaks the standstill first. He dives in, mouth locking onto Tetsuya's, taking advantage of his small, muffled gasp -- god, it turns him on -- to thrust his tongue inside. Tetsuya's hands come up instinctively to push back on his chest, fingers clenching around the material of his shirt -- albeit, not reluctantly. Whether it's a conscious gesture or not, Chihiro doesn't know, but Tetsuya pulls him closer, harder--

--and then he jerks back a little, breaking free, completely out of breath. Panting, saliva dripping down his jaw, Tetsuya is a mess.

He's never looked more attractive.

Chihiro licks his lips almost mockingly, tauntingly. He swipes his thumb across his own, bottom lip, and then presses it against Tetsuya's.

"Thanks for the meal."

The phantom's cheeks flush even more, and even the tips of his ears go visibly red. It's the cutest thing Chihiro has ever seen, and he feels his own face grow warmer, too.

"U-um--"

Before Tetsuya can continue, Chihiro kisses him again, pushing him back against the edge of the table as he does so, almost as if he's trying to block off his escape. Tetsuya kisses him back with little resistance, and Chihiro allows him no more than a second to catch his breath each time they break apart.

"Nn...!"

Chihiro can feel all the blood rush straight down to his groin at the sudden moan. Tetsuya's eyes widen, but he doesn't have time to feel embarrassed before he's reminded of the reason he let out the noise in the first place.

Chihiro is pressing up against him.

The sensation isn't anywhere near as jarring as it could be, if they were both unclothed: but through the thin, flimsy material of his boxers -- Chihiro's boxers -- Tetsuya can feel the obvious bulge in the taller man's trousers. It's pushed onto his own, and he knows Chihiro can feel him, too.

Before he can even think about saying anything, Tetsuya catches his heated gaze, and it's all the warning he gets before the assassin slips a hand inside.

"Ah--!"

Covering his mouth with the back of his hand, tears begin to form at the corners of his eyes, and Tetsuya squeezes them shut. He trembles beneath Chihiro's skilled hands, only growing hotter, harder, wetter -- and when Chihiro thumbs at the head of his cock, he gasps, eliciting a low chuckle from the man. It takes everything inside him to stop the sounds that spill from his lips. The abrupt feel of a hand on his forces his eyes open a little, and Tetsuya can barely make out Chihiro's form through his tear-blurred vision. He blinks, feeling them slide down his cheeks.

"Let me hear you."

Lacing their fingers together, Chihiro doesn't hold back on his torturous movements with his other hand. He leans in, biting Tetsuya's collarbone softly, successfully drawing out a loud moan from the boy's lips -- it's sweeter than music to his ears. Smirking, he brushes against the tip of Tetsuya's member with light, fleeting movements, and the boy whines.

'Fuck it,' Chihiro thinks, hoisting Tetsuya up by the ass. He picks him up, throwing him onto his bed unceremoniously. Tetsuya doesn't get the chance to complain before a tongue slides between his lips, hot and intrusive. Chihiro is pushing him down against the bed, and almost like a reflex, he lifts his hips up to press their arousals together--

The groan that falls from Chihiro's mouth doesn't sound human.

Exploiting the moment Tetsuya lifts himself off the bed, Chihiro reaches down to untie and pull his boxer shorts off roughly. Swallowing the shorter boy's moans, he begins to unbutton his own shirt -- and somehow, he manages to undo his belt, kicking off his pants without giving into his growing urge to rip them off instead. When he slides his dick, slick with precum, between Tetsuya's legs, the latter stiffens, freezing up. Chihiro pauses, licking into his mouth a final time before pulling back.

"Don't worry," he murmurs lowly -- he can barely recognise his own voice, "I'm just going to stay between your thighs. Could you tighten up for me?"

"N-nngh... O-okay," Tetsuya moans. With a touch of hesitance, he lifts his legs up to rest around Chihiro's waist before squeezing his thighs together softly.

It feels like pure bliss to Chihiro, who lets out a low, guttural growl.

And then, he moves.

Body jolting instantly, Tetsuya becomes hyper-aware of their positions: with his back on the bed, his ass lifted and his legs wrapped around Chihiro's waist, he's definitely giving him an eyeful--

--but it feels so good that he can't bring himself to care.

Chihiro, on the other hand, is towering over Tetsuya, hands laced together with his as he thrusts between his thighs. With each push and pull back, his cock rubs against Tetsuya's dick and, occasionally, his balls, causing a delicious friction that sends pleasant shivers down Tetsuya's spine with each movement. There's no doubt that Chihiro shares that sentiment -- he's so hard that it borders on painful. Speeding up his thrusts, the only sounds that echo through the large room are his bed's creaks; the sloppy, wet, erotic squelches of their members rubbing together, practically dripping with precum; and of course: their moans.

Feeling his climax draw near, Chihiro looks down at Tetsuya's face. He has his eyes closed in euphoria, his mouth open as he whimpers, a trail of saliva on his jaw, tears tracking down his cheeks--

It isn't enough.

He wants more.

More.

More.

Formerly blank eyes glinting maliciously, Chihiro's hand dives down to wrap around both of their cocks without a single word of forewarning. Tetsuya's eyes shoot open, and his voice chokes up in his throat. Whilst he's distracted, Chihiro shifts a little and bites straight down on the creamy expanse of his neck, piercing it almost immediately. He licks up the blood, and Tetsuya sobs out his name--

It's all Chihiro has to hear to cum.

Pumping the both of them with one hand, he scrapes his nails lightly against Tetsuya's cock, and the boy is gone. They make a mess of both themselves and the bedsheets, but to Chihiro, it's entirely worth it.

Thoroughly spent, Tetsuya collapses. He doesn't even have the energy to curl up on the bed at the moment -- not that he particularly wants to, considering he's covered in both his own cum and Chihiro's. He barely notices when the latter leaves the bed and comes back with a wet towel to wipe him off, along with fresh pairs of boxers.

"Thank you... very much."

"No problem."

He doesn't realise when he passes out until he wakes up.

***

"Mm..."

When Tetsuya opens his eyes, he's met with Chihiro's handsome, plain features gazing back at him. He blinks.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," Chihiro echoes, lips quirking up sardonically. "Had a good rest, huh, Sleeping Beauty?"

Ignoring the logical voice at the back of his head, Tetsuya shoots back, "Thanks to you."

Chihiro raises a brow at the boy's audacity, but, well, they did just have sex. Even if it was just intercrural. He smirks, propping himself up on one elbow.

"You brought that on yourself."

Tetsuya opens his mouth to argue, blushes, and closes it. It's adorable to the point that it's unfair, and Chihiro swallows down the urge to cover his face. He's pretty sure he's blushing, too. Luckily, Tetsuya has his eyes averted.

(Unfortunately, his embarrassed expression is also another shot to Chihiro's heart.)

"Y-you played a part in it, too," Tetsuya says, refusing to meet his eyes, "every time you just..."

Trailing off, Tetsuya rolls over so that his back is facing Chihiro, who is more than slightly confused.

"What do you--"

Oh.

Oh.

'"Every time you just", huh?' Chihiro smirks knowingly. So Tetsuya had caught on -- over the past week, he had been coming out of the shower shirtless, or with nothing but a single towel draped around his waist, or...

(He couldn't help it -- bored out of his mind, he hadn't gotten any action in the past, what, ten years? -- he's an assassin, for god's sakes; it isn't as if he can just fuck his victims before slashing their throats apart: that doesn't sit well with him. With a cute, delectable, defenseless creature like Kuroko Tetsuya sleeping by his side every night, refusing to leave his hideout -- no man would be able to resist such a temptation, and he isn't -- wasn't -- willing to try.)

"Hmmm," Chihiro hums smugly. Tetsuya refuses to turn back, and the taller man doesn't make him.

After all, what they're having is a lighthearted conversation, but they both know it won't last.

***

That night -- to be precise, at one in the morning -- Chihiro wakes up suddenly.

Someone is outside.

Someone who is calling for him -- no, calling for the "Mist". He shakes his head, smothering a laugh. He would've never thought of people giving him such a ridiculous nickname, had it not been for Tetsuya's interference.

Tetsuya.

The detective is fast asleep, but he stirs, half-conscious.

'He's got good senses,' Chihiro thinks, 'but not good enough.'

It isn't a bad thing -- no, it's something Tetsuya should be grateful for. Only those who thrive in the underworld should have razor-sharp senses -- they determine whether you live or die, after all. Tetsuya mumbles something under his breath, and Chihiro turns his back to him.

Before he can move, however--

--a hand shoots out, latching onto his own. He whips around in surprise, eyes wide.

"...Where you are you going?"

Tetsuya's voice is soft, coated by a thin layer of sleep.

He's good.

He isn't a detective for nothing, Chihiro realises. His lips tug up involuntarily.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"..."

Tetsuya's brow furrows slightly, but other than that, he gives no indication of what he's thinking. It's enough, though.

"I won't let you leave."

"Let me?" Chihiro raises a brow, fully turning to face him properly. "You won't let me, you say -- I don't require your permission to leave, kid."

Tetsuya is silent. He's hell-bent on stopping Chihiro, it seems. The assassin only shakes his head.

"Just because we fucked doesn't mean you can make me do shit about my job."

Impressively, Tetsuya doesn't physically react -- he doesn't reel back, his fingers don't tighten. But pain flashes through his eyes for the briefest of moments, and Chihiro feels powerful.

It's a sickening thought.

"Let go."

"I refuse."

"You really don't understand the situation you're in, do you?"

"I won't let you leave," Tetsuya reiterates, and Chihiro's brow ticks in annoyance. It's like they're re-enacting their initial meeting.

(It pisses him off.)

In a single, fluid movement, he has both of Tetsuya's wrists pinned to the bed--

--only for Tetsuya's slim, toned legs to swing upwards with the full intent of kneeing him in the jaw. He dodges smoothly, but the instant he does so, Tetsuya takes advantage of the literal millisecond his grip shifts to tear his own wrists out of the hold. His hands launch forward to push Chihiro off the bed, but, as expected, the male catches them in his own.

If this turns into a battle of power, Tetsuya will lose in a flash -- they both know that.

However, all he was looking for was a single second where both of Chihiro's hands were occupied.

'Got you.'

The moment Chihiro pushes back against his palms, Tetsuya allows his own shoulders to drop, power draining from his hands--

Chihiro's eyes widen as he falls forward.

He has almost no time to react, and Tetsuya is already moving--

--then, their foreheads smash together.

"FUCKING OW!"

"Hh--!"

Chihiro mentally commends Tetsuya for barely letting a hiss out, because fuck he would've never been able to keep his voice back like that, even in a million years. He's very vocal about pain for an assassin. Nobody hears: much less sees: him during the job other than his targets, though, so it doesn't matter.

"You little--"

Tetsuya has tears in his eyes, and Chihiro sends a swift, furious chop to his temple. With the both of them thoroughly disoriented, it's obvious who will win -- after all, Chihiro kills for a living.

He hasn't been done in like this for a long time, though.

Before his strike hits--

Chihiro inhales sharply, and he softens the blow at the last second.

Tetsuya blacks out on impact, and he falls towards the bedframe. Catching him, Chihiro lays him down on the bed.

...

He could have killed him.

He could have killed Tetsuya with a single strike in that moment -- he's damn lucky that Chihiro caught himself before he did so.

He's still angry. He still hasn't calmed down, and he's more agitated than he has been in a long time.

Gritting his teeth together, Chihiro glares down at the boy's sleeping form. So small. Peaceful. Vulnerable.

He could have died.

...

'I have to leave.'

He has to go before he does anything. Chihiro doesn't trust himself to be near Tetsuya right now, not after that stunt -- he's never fought anyone without killing them, or being put near-death himself, and his fingers are instinctively -- naturally -- itching to finish the job.

This isn't a job.

No matter how many times he repeats the words to himself, his body refuses to stay still. It's hot. He can feel his adrenaline pumping.

Letting out a loud "tsk", Chihiro pulls his discarded shirt on. He grabs the unsoiled trousers he'd prepared hours earlier, pushing his belt through impatiently. He pulls his socks on, shoves a gun and knife through their holsters with uncharacteristic carelessness, then stamps into his shoes. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, he closes his eyes.

'I have a job to do.'

He can hear their voices. Please, they say. Avenge me. I'll do anything.

His lips curl up into a sneer and he walks out, steps silent, without a single glance back.

He can't bear to look at the boy on his bed right now.

***

By the time Chihiro's back, only a couple of hours later, Tetsuya is still asleep. He's calmed down considerably by now, and he snarls as the graze wound on his waist starts to sting. He disposed of the body as usual, and the kill was next to effortless: but he didn't get out unscathed, and that dampens his mood. Virtually ripping his shirt off, he glowers down at the bloodied cloth: being torn and stained with crimson, it's as good as gone.

He's still pissed off at Tetsuya -- there's no way he isn't.

But his body isn't screaming for him to finish him off anymore, and that's enough for now.

He takes a step closer.

Tetsuya is wincing in his sleep, evidently in pain, and Chihiro feels a brief, brief pang of remorse in his chest.

...Remorse?

How low he's fallen.

He can't contemplate the feeling before a chill runs down his spine, cold sweat forming at the nape of his neck instantly.

He recognises this sensation.

He knows.

He turns his head back reflexively to face the exit--

--he only has a split-second to take in the cold breeze, why is there a breeze coming in--

--and then there is nothing but black.

"Good evening."

He knows that voice. He doesn't even have to think to place it.

"Fuck... you."

He struggles to speak, choking as he feels his body fall. He feels himself being held back by something sturdy -- an arm -- as it lowers him to the floor soundlessly. He forces his eyes to squint open, and he can barely make out the shape of two polished, leather shoes.

"How low you've fallen, Chihiro."

'You don't have to say it, asshole -- I already... know...'

He can't feel, or see anything anymore. The last thing he remembers is the soft, derisive chuckle that rings through his ears, the same way it did eight years ago.

[jqmwol6y-blog]

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[shireness-says]

Playing the Part ch. 14: What Did I Ever See In Him?

Summary: As a stage manager who’s clawed her way up from the bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU.  Rated T. Also on AO3.  Prologue  Ch. 1  Ch. 2  Ch. 3 Ch. 4  Ch. 5  Ch. 6  Ch. 7  Ch. 8  Ch. 9  Ch. 10  Ch. 11  Ch. 12  Ch. 13

A/N: I’ve been so excited to share this chapter with you guys! It’s rough in the moment, but really sets things in motion. We’re closing in on the end, guys!

Chapter title taken from “Bye Bye Birdie”.

Thanks as ever to @snidgetsafan, the world’s best beta, who’s basically dragging me through these last couple of chapters. Thanks babe, I’ll give you new stuff eventually.

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes. If you want to be tagged going forward (or taken off this list - I won’t be insulted!), shoot me a message, and I’ll make it happen.

Enjoy - and let me know what you think!

It’s that fucking principle again - that everything falls apart just when things are going great. It’s official; Emma’s commissioning a study. Or maybe it’s just an inevitability in a more mundane way, that things can only go up or down and the downs will always be more noticeable. Whatever the case, Emma just hopes it doesn’t come in threes.

This crash feels so much harsher too because it’s much more personal, and it comes at the worst possible moment. The week had started with their Sign-Off performance, of course, and Emma had been flying high on Henry’s residual excitement over their appearance in the days immediately following. If she had hoped that her kid would let the Killian debacle slide, she’s sadly disappointed. Clearly, he’s spent too much time around Ruby and Mary Margaret growing up, as he’s determined to both interrogate and tease Emma about what this means for her love life. Smart alec.

“He’s got a cruuuush on you,” Henry singsongs, laughing uproariously as Emma’s cheeks flush. “Oh! Does that mean you do too?”

“It does not!” Emma insists, even as her blush insists otherwise. Traitor.

“Uh huh,” Henry nods, grinning deviously. Some kid she’s got.

(The best kid, always the best kid, even when he’s teasing her like this.)

“Killian is my colleague and my friend and a complete professional,” Emma lists patiently. Her tone is probably veering more towards long-suffering than patient, if she’s being honest, but it’s warranted in her opinion. “Which is, you know, why he said that in the interview.”

“Sure,” Henry replies, clearly unimpressed. Emma’s going to need to have words with Ruby, because Henry definitely did not get that side-eye from her. “Whatever you say, Mom.”

(The sass, though - he definitely got that from her.)

Know-it-all children aside, Emma’s having a good week - good weather, good mood, great shows… it seems that things are flying along, never better, practically unsinkable. Until Thursday, that is.

Thursday is the day everything goes to hell.

Ashley, the young woman who plays Kitty in their production, calls out sick, requiring an early call time for everyone to run through the show with the understudy and make sure she’s comfortable with the choreography and her handful of lines, or at least comfortable enough with them to make it through a performance. Not the way Emma wants to start her day, but it doesn’t necessarily spell disaster. They can work with that.

What’s worse, though, is getting to the theater to discover that a power surge the evening before has tripped several breakers and screwed with their lights, necessitating changing bulbs and a full check of the theater’s electrical systems. The headset system they’ve got to work with is better than most Emma’s dealt with in her time, but it’s still prone to more interference than Emma would prefer, and a short in their system won’t do Emma and Kristoff any favors. The whole thing is going to be a major stressor in the crew’s afternoon, but there’s no way around it.

Dealing with both of those situations is enough - more than enough, really, if Emma’s being honest.

However, apparently some higher power has it out for Emma, because the joy doesn’t stop there. Instead, that same Thursday, three days after the show’s Sign-Off appearance, Neal shows up in town - at Emma’s theater, no less! - because of mother-fucking course he does.

Honestly, she has no idea how Neal got into the theater in the first place - you’d think someone would have kicked him out between the stage door and the stage. Then again, her ex has always had a way of bluffing his way into places - fake it ‘til you make it and all that. He acts like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and for whatever reason, people believe him.

Emma doesn’t even notice him sauntering around the stage at first, too busy discussing what replacements they’ll need to order with Robin in the booth to pay attention to what’s going on below and leaving Kristoff to be the unfortunate messenger. The unwitting harbinger of doom, if you will.

“There’s some guy asking for you?” her usually even-keeled sound tech cuts in when a break in the conversation allows, voice betraying an uncharacteristic irritation. “Made it sound like you’d know him. I don’t know, he wasn’t exactly forthcoming.” If Emma didn’t know better, she’d almost say there was a hint of disdain in Kristoff’s tone, but that’s silly. Kristoff gets along with everyone, mostly by barely talking to anyone. He’s got that Nordic, Midwestern implacability too where Emma can never tell what he’s thinking, and especially can never tell when he’s flustered.

It’s all explained, though, when she looks through the window to see her ex impatiently checking his phone. He’s not tapping his foot yet but Emma can sense the urge from this distance. Typical - Neal always seems to believe that his time is more valuable than everyone else’s.

“Fuck,” she curses loudly. “It’s my ex. Henry’s dad,” she elaborates when Robin lifts a curious eyebrow at her outburst. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.” Blood pressure no doubt shooting through the roof, she turns on her heel and storms out of the booth to confront Neal and find out why the hell he’s here.

By the time she makes it down to the orchestra level, Neal’s officially progressed to foot-tapping stage, glancing around impatiently. Like he’s the one being inconvenienced here.

“What do you want, Neal?” she demands as soon as she gets close enough. There’s a small amount of pleasure to be taken in watching Neal jerk his head up in response and then down again rapidly to meet Emma’s eyes where she stands in the audience, knowing that it will likely result in a nasty knot in his neck from all the drastic movements. Only a small amount, though.

“Well hello to you too, Ems,” he replies easily, like all of this is some light-hearted social call instead of him barging into her place of employment.

“I’m not kidding around, Neal. What the hell are you doing here?” She doesn’t have time for this, but if she has to deal with it, she’s cutting straight to the point and skipping past the useless pleasantries.

“Well I was in town for a meeting and thought I’d drop by,” he replies.

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” Neal reacts, playing up his faux offense. It’s all an act, Emma knows; she doesn’t even need a superpower to see that.

“Bullshit. You have never once in your life just ‘dropped by’, and you think theatre is a frivolous waste of time.”

“Can’t a man come see his son, maybe take him to dinner?” he tries instead, changing tactics.

“You certainly can, but it’s 3pm, Neal. Henry won’t be by after school for another hour. And, again, you have never ‘dropped by’ for a surprise visit just because you were in town for some meeting. In fact, you usually have to cancel on dinner with Henry when your meetings run over.”

“Oh c’mon Ems, that’s not fair,” Neal complains, but who the fuck cares what he has to say on the subject? Emma is about to tell him as such when Scarlet interrupts with better timing than she would have credited him with, though his tone is too annoyed to actually write off the interruption as being for her benefit.

“Oi, not that this isn’t fascinating, but would you clear the bleedin’ stage? I’ve been trying to bring this light bar in for the past five minutes but some people,” he glares pointedly at Neal, “won’t get out of the way.”

The nuisance himself looks like he’s about to bite back, but Emma cuts in before he gets the chance. “You gotta move, Neal, I don’t care where. Go hang out backstage or in the house or something. I’ve gotta take care of some stuff, I can’t keep an eye on you.” If she’s secretly hoping he gets whacked in the head with the light bar, well, that’s her business, and entirely understandable to boot.

“We need to talk, Emma,” he insists, apparently finally cutting to his point.

“Yeah, well, I need to do my job. You showed up at a bad time, and I’ve got people waiting on me. We’ll talk later.” She hopes her voice is firm enough - ideally, the one she uses to keep everyone in line when everything is going to shit - but ultimately, it doesn’t much matter as she whirls around and stalks back to the booth.

She’s got a terrible feeling she knows exactly what this is about. It seems like an awfully big coincidence that Neal just happens to unexpectedly show up at her theater, a place he’s never showed interest in, only a couple days after a male coworker said nice things about her on national television. Whatever the case, she so doesn’t have time to deal with it now.

Neal is just going to have to wait.

———

Word travels fast throughout the ranks, and the shocking news that their beloved stage manager’s ex-boyfriend and father to Henry has unexpectedly showed up on their stage is no exception. Killian hears it from Belle, who was told by Scarlet, who relates as much of the situation as he knows with plenty of added commentary about how the man’s a nuisance and possibly an imbecile and honestly, who the bloody hell doesn’t hear a man hollering about a heavy bleedin’ light bar about to be flown in? Fuckin’ idiots, that’s who, if you ask a very irritated Will Scarlet. And then somewhere along the line David Nolan catches wind of it and tells Mary Margaret, and when you tell Mary Margaret anything, suddenly the entire cast knows. It’s just a fact of their little cohort.

Now, Killian considers himself to be an open minded man, a tolerant man, a man who does not make decisions about people before he knows them. Liam raised him to be kind and polite and to listen to people and not make premature judgements, and usually, Killian does his best to live up to that example.

But, God help him, he Does Not Like Emma’s ex.

(Well, part of that might have been related to the holiday party incident and not their encounter today, but his point still stands)

He’s prepared to swear that even were Neal not the former lover of the woman he’s slowly becoming devoted to, he still wouldn’t like the man. There’s something about the other’s man attitude – that he can do what he pleases, and everyone else’s opinion be damned. Killian hates it.

Currently, “whatever he pleases” is wandering around backstage semi-aimlessly, sticking his nose into corners and getting underfoot and generally driving everyone slowly mad.

“Can I help you, mate?” Killian asks in a perfectly civil tone - or at least what he thinks is a perfectly civil tone - when he runs down to grab a prop only to find the other man peeking into thankfully empty dressing rooms.

“Nope, just looking around,” the ex had replied about as absently as humanly possible, not bothering to even make more than glancing eye contact.

Alright then.

The only marginally redeeming factor of that man is how purely delighted Henry is to see him when the lad comes by after school. Killian may be many things - a very judgemental and petty man at the moment, for one - but he’s not a monster, and he’s willing to put up with a lot if it makes that wonderful boy happy. Still. Doesn’t mean he has to become best friends with the man, or even be happy about his presence. In fact, Killian thinks he’ll keep an eye out from a short distance, just to make sure the lad stays happy; he doesn’t quite trust the other man’s motives here, even if he is Henry’s father.

“Dad!” Henry exclaims as soon as he spots the man in question, a wide and brilliant smile stretching his cheeks as his eyes visibly light up. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here!” Just as quickly though, his features shift to confusion. “I didn’t miss a call, did I?”

“Oh no, of course not, buddy,” Neal reassures. “I just thought I’d surprise you.”

Though this appearance could certainly be described as a surprise very easily, Killian still thinks that’s not the whole story. Henry is less fazed though, or at least willing to take the excuse at face value in his excitement over his dad’s presence.

“You’ve got to come meet everyone!” Henry exclaims, practically bouncing on his feet as he tugs Neal over towards Killian.

Lord help me, Killian can’t help but think, this will be fun. If the other man’s face is anything to go by, he seems to be thinking the same thing.

“Killian!” Henry calls, managing to pull an almost genuine smile out of him. “You’ll never guess who’s here! This is my dad!”

“Aye, we met briefly earlier,” Killian replies, thinking of their dressing room encounter (if it can even really be called that). In the name of civility, he sticks a hand out to shake. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr…?” Technically, he already knows the other man’s name, but it feels rude to admit that the whole production knows who he is through the gossip train.

“Cassidy. Neal Cassidy,” he supplies with a smile that looks strained at best, pointedly not shaking the offered hand. “So, you’re the actor or whatever?”

“Aye, that’s me,” Killian agrees, trying hard not to be put out. “I play the male lead in this show, Mr. Darcy.”

“So you and Ems… work together a lot, then?”

So that’s what this is about. Killian almost feels stupid for not putting it together earlier, but it’s hard to miss the strategic emphasis in that sentence that suggests Neal is certain something more is happening. Self-important arse.

“Swan works closely with the entire cast, crew, and production team,” he replies carefully. “She’s perhaps the best stage manager I’ve ever seen, and very dedicated to the job at hand. We’re incredibly lucky to have her steering our little ship.”

“Sure.” Neal is obviously skeptical, if his posture and crossed arms are anything to go by. It takes everything Killian has not to roll his eyes at the bastard’s ridiculous posturing. Even Henry is picking up on the tension, looking back and forth between the two men with that same furrowed brow Emma gets when faced with a problem she’s trying to dissect.

“And I bet that’s all it is. Just a professional relationship,” Neal intones, continuing his interrogation. Killian truly questions the man’s judgement; to him, at least, this seems like an inappropriate avenue to be walking down with Henry right there, but then again, he may be biased as the target of the questioning.

“I believe that’s what I already said,” Killian replies. He’s tried to keep civil this whole time, but he can’t help the irritation from creeping into his tone. “We’re colleagues who interact on friendly but professional terms.” Is there a problem with that? the argumentative side of Killian is itching to demand, but he refrains for Henry’s sake

“Maybe we should go meet other people,” Henry blessedly cuts in before anything comes to blows or Killian says something he regrets (strangely enough, Neal doesn’t seem to have the same qualms that he does). “I’ll see you later, Killian!” he calls back over his shoulder as he practically drags his father away by the arm.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Killian hears Henry chastise from around the corner; he somehow doubts that the lad intended his voice to carry so far. Serves the man right, to be scolded by his own son, though Killian would be shocked if Neal suddenly came to regret his actions. A man that comes into town specifically to get on his ex for mostly platonic words said on a television program doesn’t seem the type to suddenly see how ridiculous his actions are.

He knows that Emma is the last person to want any pity, but she has Killian’s all the same. The man seems to be an insufferable prick, or is at least intent on acting like one; as bad as Killian’s interaction with Neal was, he’d be willing to bet that Emma’s in for something even more infuriating. He sure hopes that this dickery is a recent development, because at the moment, he has no idea what Emma ever saw in that man.

It’s none of Killian’s business, not really, but he can’t help but feel angry on Emma’s behalf that she’ll have to deal with whatever bullshit that bastard chooses to spew at her. Whatever interrogation he just had to suffer, she’ll undoubtedly have to deal with even worse. The more he thinks about it, the more frustrated he gets, until there’s nothing else to do about the matter - he calls Liam. It was either that or go hunt down Neal to ask a bunch of uncalled-for questions in a petty form of revenge.

“Make it quick, brother,” Liam immediately says when he answers, “the filming break is ending in seven minutes.”

“Emma’s ex is the most insufferable man alive,” Killian declares, launching right in.

“Good to know. And how exactly do you know this?” Liam asks in return.

“The arse showed up at the theater today - which was not expected, let me tell you, Henry was shocked to see his father. He obviously has never set foot in a theater, looking around everywhere and getting underfoot. And from everything I hear from Henry, he doesn’t exactly see his dad often, no other spontaneous visits like he was trying to claim this is. And this only a few days after that blasted interview aired! What a wild coincidence!” Killian says sarcastically. “So here he is, showing up to ask me a bunch of questions about whether Emma and I are really just colleagues. Funny, that.”

“Sounds frustrating,” Liam replies, making all the right noises even if he’s a little lost as to what’s going on.

“God, he’s such a pretentious arse. Waltzing right on in here like he gets a say in Swan’s work life. Or her personal life. Hell, the man’s barely around enough to earn the right to an opinion in Henry’s life. Try telling him that, though.”

“Speaking of which, do you plan on telling Emma all this?” Liam poses a good question, but Killian’s a bit conflicted on how to answer.

“I don’t know. She’ll be dealing with enough from him, you know? Not to mention everything else that’s going on around here - it’s a rough tech day to boot, as if she needs more on her plate. I don’t want to add any more stress. But at the same time… it feels deceptive, not telling her? Like I’m not supplying her with all the pieces of a problem.”

Liam hums. “So what are you going to do then?”

“I don’t know,” Killian whines back. “I’m just frustrated.”

“And that’s completely understandable,” Liam soothes. “Someone’s showed up to make trouble for a friend - someone you care for. It makes sense that you’d be angry on her behalf.”

“But what do I do, Liam?” he demands.

“Well, how about this for a compromise: if you see her before he leaves, you keep mum so as not to create more stress or be the cause of any conflict, but if you next see her afterwards, you do mention it. I’m quite firmly on the side of letting her know eventually, just so she can take whatever steps need taking to keep this kind of thing from happening again,” Liam suggests.

“I think I can manage that.” Venting to Liam hasn’t truly solved any problems, but he still feels better, like a dark cloud has been lifted from over his head. “Thanks, Liam. I know you’re busy, but I needed that. I’ll let you go, but really, thank you for being a listening ear.”

“Aye, I’ve got to be getting back,” Liam agrees. “Anytime though, Kil, I’m always here to listen. Hang in there - you and your lady both. Love you, little brother.” And before Killian can respond, even with a correction, the call disconnects.

Huffing a sigh, Killian attempts to release some of the remaining tension, before finally returning his attention to… whatever he came down here for in the first place. Thanks to certain unpleasant visitors, he’s having trouble remembering.

Really, damn the man and all the chaos he’s causing in his wake.

———

There’d been half a hope in the back of Emma’s mind that maybe she’d wrap up everything that needed immediately taking care of before Neal got bored and wandered back again, if only to avoid her ex pulling that “how dare you inconvenience me, my time is more valuable than yours” act again, charming though it is. Sadly, the universe is not on her side in that wish, and Neal and Henry are already waiting at the front, the former already reprising his impatient scanning from earlier as Henry happily chatters away about God knows what.

“Does she always leave you waiting like this?” Emma hears Neal ask, his voice carrying despite the distance.

Henry shrugs nonchalantly in response. “I go talk to everyone. Sometimes Mom lets me help out around here too.”

“Oh, so she’s putting you to work?” Neal’s voice is scandalized - that’s the only word for it. Now that she’s almost to where the two stand, she can see the shock on his face too.

Emma will stand for a lot of things from Neal, but that’s an implication too far. “Yes, I make him lug fifty pound fly weights all over the place. Builds character,” she replies, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Neal rolls his eyes. “Oh, c’mon, Em, you know I wasn’t suggesting that —” he tries to protest, but Emma cuts him off.

“Yeah, you kinda were. Henry, go get your stuff so you and your dad can get something to eat.” Henry scampers off at her suggestion, seemingly all too glad to escape the tension boiling between his parents, a tension that’s about to burst into something worse.

“C’mon, what was that about, Emma?” Neal whines, but Emma’s having none of it.

“Cut the crap, Neal. You wanted to talk, so talk. Starting with the real reason you’re here.”

“Well,” he states, “I saw the Sign-Off interview Monday night.”

Emma groans. She should have seen this coming, but that doesn’t make it any less stupid. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m serious! I’m laying in bed watching some… stuck-up actor talk about how dedicated you are to the show —”

“And what, you took that as code for ‘child neglect’? Because someone I work with said I’m good at my job?”

Neal’s silence is telling.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you really thought that, didn’t you?” Emma manages to spit out. “Jesus Christ, Neal.”

“Look, I just know what I saw, ok?” he tries to defend as Emma rolls her eyes. “Don’t I have the right to come make sure you’re not neglecting my son, actually taking care of him instead of spending all your time at work or with some… some pretty boy?”

“That is fucking rich coming from you, Neal. Always so busy with your fancy job and your fancy house and your pretty little wife that you can’t even remember to call your son half the time. Fucking rich. I am doing everything I can to give that kid the best life,” she hisses, stabbing a finger into his chest, “and that’s a hell of a lot more than you’ve done. I’m the one that helps him with his homework, and takes care of him when he’s sick, and listens to all his worries. I’m the one who knows the names of all his friends and which takeout places are his favorite and how to best comfort him when he’s sad. Meanwhile, you couldn’t even be bothered to admit he was yours for five fucking years!” She’s practically shouting by the end, and only hopes Henry is too far away to hear. Neal just stands there glowering as Emma picks up steam. At least he seems to have picked up on the fact that he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

“And for the record?” she finishes, trying to lower the volume of her voice and probably failing. “I’m not dating Jones, or anyone else. But even if I was, that would be none of your goddamn business. Just like your marriage is none of mine.” Neal finally opens up his mouth to speak, but Emma throws up a hand to stop him before he even starts. “No. We’re done here. You and Henry can leave out the stage door. Have him home by 8, it’s a school night and he has homework.” Emma’s shaking with rage by the end of her tirade, but stands her ground, and with a final huff, her ex stalks off to find their son. Good riddance.

As Neal makes his disgraced departure, still shooting dirty looks over his shoulder, Emma finally relaxes, practically collapsing in on herself. Yes, there are still problems to come in her day, but those are normal problems, the kind that she knows to account for when going to work in the morning. Neal’s presence was a different kind of stressor, one she can’t prepare for, and when shoved at her on top of her work-related stress, it sets a tension into her shoulders that’s unmatched by anything else. Honestly, based off the bullshit Neal was tossing her way, you would have thought Killian has said she was making Henry work sixty hour weeks, not that she was good at her job. For fuck’s sake.

Dropping her head back, Emma takes a moment just to re-center herself before straightening again to return to the booth, only to turn around to spot Robin with a less than pleased look on his face. In fact, she’d go far as to say that she’s never seen him look so furious. Abruptly, Emma’s stomach plummets. God, he must have seen or heard the confrontation with Neal; in the heat of it all, they probably weren’t as quiet as quiet as they should have been. It wasn’t fair of Emma to bring that kind of drama into their workplace, and Robin has every right to be angry about it, but still, it feels like a heavy stone in the pit of her stomach to see that look directed at her.

Quickly, she hurries to meet her colleague at the back of the aisle where he stands, stumbling over apologies the whole while. “Robin, I’m so sorry, you should never have heard - it won’t happen again -” she tries to tell him, but Robin throws up a hand to halt her words in their tracks.

“Stop,” he tells Emma. “Just… stop.” Oh god, he must be really mad. All Emma wants to do is apologize profusely and try to make this right, but she can’t do that if he’s not receptive to hearing it. The stone grows heavier and heavier in her stomach.

Robin exhales a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down, and Emma braces herself for whatever he’s about to say. He must see or sense that somehow - probably a benefit of spending hours together every day in a space that always seems too small and crowded - because some of the anger recedes from his face, a small amount of tension easing from his frame as he reaches to grasp Emma by the shoulders.

“I’m not mad at you,” he tells her in a voice that’s somehow simultaneously both firm and gentle. Emma imagines it’s the same voice he uses with Roland from time to time. If not, he should - it’s effective.

“You’re not?” she replies in a voice that’s smaller than she’d prefer. Oh well; Robin won’t judge her for that.

“Gods above, no. I’m mad, yes, but not at you,” he explains solemnly, “Emma, darling, please believe me when I tell you this: no one could watch the display that absolute bastard was making of himself and be mad at you. None of this is on you. All of my anger is on your behalf, that he had the very nerve to stand there and say such things.”

“You don’t have to say that,” Emma mumbles. Still, her cheeks flush at the gesture and the care behind those words.

Robin just shrugs. “Maybe I don’t have to, but I’m going to anyways. You’re my friend, Emma,” he explains, “and I see what you do every day. I know exactly how much you give this job, and I know you give Henry even more, as much as a human being can. It’s… preposterous, to even suggest the two are mutually exclusive. Look, I know our situations aren’t exactly the same,” he prefaces, “but I know how easy it is to lose a lot of yourself in being a parent, just by virtue of trying to ensure that your kid has everything. You may not be dating Jones, or anyone else, but so what if you were? You’re allowed to try and find that kind of happiness for yourself, on top of the happiness you get from Henry. The fact that Neal - ” he spits out the name with unexpected derision - “thinks that he gets a say in that, just because he’s Henry’s father, is laughable. Absurd. Especially since he’s one step above an absentee parent.”

Emma can’t help but feel a rush of platonic affection at his words, though she’s mortified to feel those feelings welling into tears of relief and gratitude. It’s true that Mary Margaret and Ruby and Elsa have been agreeing with her about how much of an ass Neal is for years, but they’re practically family; there’s always kind of been that feeling that they have to say that because of their long and close connection to Emma. There’s something meaningful and vindicating about hearing Robin, a coworker of significantly less acquaintance, say the same thing - that her ex is a jerk who has no right to have any opinions about her personal life.

Robin doesn’t know that they’re good tears, however, and his leftover fury quickly morph into a confused concern. “Are you crying?” he asks, not waiting for an explanation. “Oh, please, Emma, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that, I didn’t mean to upset you — ”

“It’s alright, Robin,” Emma cuts in with a teary chuckle. “It just means a lot to hear you say that. Thank you.”

“Ah, well, we’ve got to stick together, don’t we?” Robin smiles. “Single parents banding together and all that. Though, for the record, every one of us in here is rooting for you, not just me. Kristoff is as mad as I’ve ever seen him, and I thought Scarlet was about to bash his nose in.”

“Yeah, well, Scarlet just wanted the stage cleared so he could get his work done. Any opportunity to brain Neal with the light bar was just an added bonus,” Emma replies, snorting less than gracefully, happy to see a path out of the emotional bog she’d inadvertently waded into.

“You’re not wrong there,” Robin admits, breaking into his own bout of laughter. At the end of it, the mood is lighter for both of them, and while Emma is still irritated with her stupid-ass ex - a permanent thing, really, even if it’s a bit more than usual at the moment - the blind panic their argument had spawned about what everyone else is going to think of her has abated, thank god.

“Hang in there, darling,” Robin concludes with a collegial pat to her back. “We’re all here for you if you need to vent or plot a murder. Though, I should tell you,” he continues more seriously, “rumor has it that Neal was giving Killian the third degree earlier.”

“Of course he was,” Emma groans, dropping her head back melodramatically before setting her shoulders once again. “Sounds about par for the course today.”

Robin chuckles. “Nothing you can’t handle, o fearsome leader,” he teases. “Now go be a badass, prove him wrong.”

And you know what? Emma’s going to do just that. After one last stop, that is.

———

Killian doesn’t expect Emma to show up in the doorway of his dressing room as he runs through his pre-show prep - in fact, for one irritated moment, he’s convinced it’s Cassidy come back to grill him some more.

“You scared me there,” he comments, tossing a grin towards where Emma leans against the door frame. “I thought you were our charming visitor.”

Emma winces at the words. “Yeah, about that…”

“Oh god, he’s not coming back, is he?” Killian groans. It would be just his luck if the man was standing right behind Swan, but at this point, they’re already on poor enough terms that he’s willing to risk it. It’s not like things can disintegrate any further.

Thankfully, Swan emphatically shakes her head to that. “No, no, he and Henry are off getting dinner somewhere. But I did hear that you guys had the pleasure of meeting.”

Belatedly, Killian realizes that as awful as he thinks Emma’s ex is, she maybe doesn’t want to hear that from others. She’s the one who has to deal with him for the foreseeable future; his conversation with Liam aside, it seems bad form to complain about the man to Emma’s face and potentially make her feel worse, both about the prospect of dealing with Neal and about the fact that he’s here in the first place. The latter is most certainly not her fault.

“Yes, he’s, uh… it was interesting, meeting the man,” Killian finally says, as diplomatically as he can manage.

Swan, thank God, is having none of that however. “Oh please. He’s an ass. A real piece of work. No use beating around the bush, it’s not going to hurt my feelings or anything. I’ve got thicker skin than he does.”

“Ah, well, as long as you said it first,” he laughs. Suddenly, he remembers an earlier part of their conversation - the bit about how she heard Neal and he had talked - and something clicks. “Wait, you’re not here to apologize for his utter lack of manners, are you Swan?”

Her face contorts into a sheepish smile. “Maybe?”

“Well save your breath, love,” Killian insists. “There’s no need. His actions and his words are in no way your fault. You know that, right?” It feels crucial that she knows that.

“Yeah, Robin told me pretty much the same thing,” she replies. “Still. I feel bad that you had to deal with him at all.”

“Put it out of you mind, love, I beg you. I’ll admit that he wasn’t a particularly pleasant part of my day, but I’ll put him out of my mind soon enough. He’ll be a footnote, at best. Don’t worry yourself about it, please.”

“I mean, if you’re sure…” she trails off uncertainly, that guilty look still darkening her face.

“I insist,” he says with finality. He can still see Emma’s doubts lingering though, so he quickly shifts to teasing. “I do have to ask, though,” he says, noting the trace of caution that appears in the crease between her brows, “what did you ever see in him?”

At his teasing smile, Emma releases the tension she’s holding again, going so far as to roll her eyes at the question, and they’re able to resume their banter again, continuing on as if Neal and his nonsense never happened.

(His line that evening about Collins being a pompous, prattling fool seems a little more pointed than it ever has before, but the audience doesn’t need to know that. Killian is confident that Emma hears it all the same.)

If you guys liked this chapter, please please please reblog (or even just like!) it. I’m a desperate woman who’s not about pleading. Thanks for reading!

[ratretro]

NaLu Reincarnation AU - When I See You Again

Title: When I See You Again

Pairing: NaLu

Prompt: Reincarnation AU

Rating: M;

None of these characters are owned by me, they are all owned by the wonderful Hiro Mashima!

A/N:

Small angst sorry not sorry but its okay I promise

THIS IS FOR @lucielhyung‘s BIRTHDAY

HERE’S A GIFT FROM ME TO YOU AND I HOPE IT’S A GREAT BIRTHDAY

FF.net

           She’d always loved the stars above her, and they had always been her security. Nights with her mother flashed through her mind; sitting on the cliffside while they stargazed. Her mother teaching her exactly where Aquarius shone in the blanket of midnight. It was the first teachings required to become a Celestial Spirit user since she’d be the one to call the zodiac from their place in the sky someday.

           This was the first life she’d had the power to call upon the stars. Magic was common in each of her previous lives, but she always had a very basic capability. Like wind, or fire. One time she could even control nature itself. This one, though, was new to her. She’d never even heard of this power before this life, but hey, you learn something new every time you’re reincarnated. Right?

           Lucy wasn’t particularly interested in this life. Her father, Jude Ashley, was the same as every other ‘Jude’. Even though her multiple fathers had different names they were essentially the same person. Her mother would die. They would change. An endless warped cycle. She grunted as she hoisted herself to the edge of her window and jumped. She landed in the bushes – just like every other time – and then went on her way to her most precious spot.

           Natsu hadn’t noticed the silence from her room as anything unusual, she was actually such a quiet girl that he found it hard to leave her alone. He wanted to hear the woman’s voice as more than just a hushed whisper, or a greeting. In fact, he hated not being able to talk to her, but if her father caught wind of her being friendly with him then he’d strike them both down. He couldn’t risk her in this life, he’d already done it in their last.

           He started to tap his foot after a while at the irritating silence. By now, he could normally hear the sound of her quill running across paper while she focused on her writing with incredible intensity. But tonight? Silence. What he wouldn’t give for the girl under his protection to be normal. She wasn’t. However, he’d known every one of her lives before now and she was rowdy in all of them. He wanted to run into her room to make sure she was even there, but it was the middle of the night. What would the staff think if he wandered into her room this late?

           They’d think he was a pervert. A long, drawn-out sigh escaped his lips as he thought of Ms. Spetto spending at least an hour scolding him about going into a young lady’s chambers after hours. If she wasn’t there though, that would be even worse than the rumours he could decline if her father asked about it.

           His hands hovered around the doorknob, and his adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. He was really testing his luck like this. What would he risk to ensure she was safe in her room? Everything, even his life.

           The hinges squeaked as he slowly pushed the door open to reveal the bedroom he had never seen. He put ‘oil hinges’ on his list of things to do at a later time, but continued to his goal. Two things stood out: the room was decked out in pink, and it was empty. She wasn’t in her goddamned chambers. A vein popped in his forehead as he shut the doors behind him. At this point in time, Natsu Dragion was absolutely pissed off at his employer. Still, he needed to find her, and damn it he needed to find her yesterday. He rushed to the open window and peered down hoping to find something. Anything.

           Below him, there were a few crushed shrubs which quickly alerted him to her escape being a jump from the window. Was she trying to get herself killed? He cursed but followed her trail by making that very same jump. Quickly, he moved through the courtyard to her favourite rose garden (the one thing he knew of because she made him go ALL THE TIME) and began searching every nook and cranny. Nothing. He moved on to the next thing he could think of: the other rose garden. Why did this property have to be so large?

           He was starting to think that he should have made friends with her sooner. He should have made any kind of connection, because in moments like this if he knew a single thing about her in the current timeline then he’d know where she was. Instead, he was stuck rushing and praying to have just a little bit of her luck.

           Luck. Lucy hated her nickname. ‘Lucky’ Lucy Ashley. It disgusted her to hear those words from anyone, and when he did it.. well it was like a raging fire had been triggered. Funny, because he was the fire mage this time, but she thought she’d set him ablaze right where he stood. Here he was talking to her like they were friends for the first time they’d met in this life.

            Wind rushed through her blonde hair, but she held her ground and stood on that cliff staring into the starry sky above. Her mother would know what to do. Her mother would soothe her, and then she’d tell her the best way to talk to him. Or just to talk to anyone. She knew ‘prim and proper’ like the back of her hand, but she didn’t know ‘Lucy’. All she knew were the Lucy’s before her. And the training her father gave for this life; still, she couldn’t figure out which Lucy she should be this time.

           It was annoying, to say the least. Maybe she should just – just try and talk to him properly. That was a good idea. That was a realistic goal. She could just talk to him. Maybe. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, and she internally cringed at the idea. Why was this so hard anyway? They’d met in every other lifetime before, and yet they couldn’t seem to get it together in this one.

           “Lucy!” the shout had clearly caught her off guard as she flinched at the sound. Natsu was just happy to have found her. He stopped to catch his breath, and when he finally looked up his breath hitched. She was bathed in the light of the full moon that shone above her. It was like she was a blank canvas, and someone had painted over her using the shine of the stars. Her blonde hair was now a shade of soft white, while her skin was as pale as snow in the winter. Her nightgown was the purest white, and it made her look like a ghost. Wait; was she a ghost?

           “Please tell me I haven’t been guarding a ghost this entire time?” these were the first words he’d spoken to her that weren’t orders from her father. The blonde burst into laughter and held her sides tightly to control the shaking of her body.

           “What? No, of course not!” what was he even talking about? It was then, that Lucy realized how she must look in her white nightgown.

           “Oh! I get it.” She clapped her hands together and then nodded to him in understanding.

           “Thank god.” A large sigh of relief passed through his body before the anger took over.

           “What the hell are you doing out here!?” his voice boomed around her and echoed even over the waves of the ocean behind her. She ‘urked’ and moved back a step.

           “I—”

           “You were being reckless is what!” he cut her off before she could finish her statement.

           “Do you know how—”

           “Shut up!” she screamed at him, and he halted. He’d never heard her be so loud before. It was enough to throw him off the pace of his own tirade. He didn’t even move to speak again. He just waited in the deafening silence. He wanted to hear more of her.

           “What do you even know! We’re not friends. I just wanted to see the damn stars!” her response wasn’t exactly in order, but right now that wasn’t exactly the issue for Lucy.

           “See the stars?” he looked up to the dark sky to find it blanketed in the light of a million shining dots. A mixture of white, purple, and black laid out above him, and it was such a beautiful sight that he froze. He took every single detail into his memory.

           “Beautiful, right? This is the best view on castle grounds.” She was staring back up into space just to breathe it all in again.

           “Why not tell me then? We coulda just come here without me havin’ ta search everywhere.” He was still pissed, but his tone had simmered down to mild aggravation.

           “Would you have listened?” it wasn’t meant to be spiteful – it was a genuine question.

           “Well yeah. Why wouldn’t I? Ya just gotta speak up.” He used his thumb to gesture upward a few times.

           “Do I really talk that low?” she wasn’t mumbling, nor did she sound like ‘Lucky’ Lucy Ashley. To him, at that moment, she sounded like the regular Lucy.

           “Yeah, you’re weird. Everyone talks so loud, but you never talk higher than a whisper.” He wouldn’t say it, but sometimes it was annoying. Plus, her father’s orders had him limited in how to speak with her. In this instance, he just hoped to get her back in her room before someone noticed they were missing.

           “Sorry, must be a habit. Next time I want to come out here I’ll let you know. But don’t tell my dad! He doesn’t like when I come here.” She stood still, looking away from him to the point that a light shadow covered her face. She looked… sad to him.

           “Why?” it was a simple question. So, she gave a simple answer.

           “My mother used to bring me here when I was little. He’s been different since she passed away.” She hoped he’d draw his own conclusion on her father’s idiocy.

           “Sorry.” Was all he said. He’d heard stories of her father before and after the incident that left her mother ill and dying. Before seemed better than after. She was young when it happened, so it must be a hard hit for her in the long run.

           “It’s fine.” It wasn’t. She wouldn’t say that out loud though.

           “Well, let’s get back, alright? If Ms. Spetto catches you alone at night with me I’ll never hear the end of it.” He rubbed the back of his head as she chuckled.

           “She’ll give you ‘the talk’.” He found that he liked her when she teased him. It was better to see her relaxed than to see her tense and boring.

           “Anything but that.” He whined loudly as they walked side-by-side back to the castle.

           “Hey, if ya talk like normal I think we might actually get back without anyone noticing we were even gone.”

           “Rude! I talk loud enough!” she wasn’t about to shout so close to the castle, but she at least talked loud enough to hear.

           “Oh? Do ya? Is that why ya had to talk louder on purpose?” he was teasing back, she realized. She liked this. She liked their dynamic right now.

           “I did not. You idiot.” She muttered.

           “What’s that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me being right.” He ran ahead of her as she tried to kick him in the face but ultimately missed.

           “Hey, if you’re not careful I’ll see your panties. Pervert.” Her face flared a deep red that mimicked the shade of the roses in the garden. He liked it.

           “Pervert!? You’re the pervert. I bet you went into my room, and that’s how you knew I was gone. What were you planning? Going into a girls’ room in the middle of the night.” This time he flinched and looked away from her. It was the exact same thought he’d had, but he wasn’t going to mention that.

           “I wanted to see if it was a disaster, and oh yeah! Check to see if someone went missing. God, almost forgot that part.” Pink flashed in his memory, and he shivered.

           “I’ve never seen so much pink in my life.” He whispered as if he was having some horrific back flash.

           “Your hair is pink!”

           “It’s not pink, it’s salmon.” He crossed his arms over his chest and kept walking. Was he being serious? She decided, yes – yes he was.

           That was the start of their relationship. It began on that cliff and ended on that cliff. Their last act as a couple was a soft kiss under the stars before they were torn apart. Before her dad decided to end the life of her lover.

           If she had the chance to do it all over again she’d choose him every time. Even now, under that brilliant sunlight in that foreboding atrium as his death loomed in front of them -- she knew she’d still choose him. Her eyes locked onto his; milk chocolate meeting mint. Her gaze softened, and she saw relief in his eyes. They hadn’t seen each other since they were torn apart under the stars she used to gaze at with her mother. Now, under these circumstances, it was strange to see that bright smile on his features. Seeing him in front of her on his way to death’s door caused a deep ache in her heart.

           “Dad! Dad, please! I’ll do whatever you say, just don’t take him!” her voice was raw as she screamed her compromise. As she willed with her entire being that he’d accept her request. That he’d see it from her side just this once. There was no response as her father gave his hand signal to commence the execution.

           “It’ll be fine. When I see ya again, I’m gonna win ya over with my charm just like I did this time.” His smirk was cocky even as tears stained her cheeks. Even as his life came to an end in front of her eyes. Blood stained the ground where his body lay, and a choked scream left her throat.

-------------------

           A scream filled the room as the blonde shot up in the comfort of her bed. She’d had that same dream more than once. ‘Leftovers’ she’d called them; straight from her past life. She had many past lives under her belt, and in every one of them, she fell in love with him. The worst life she’d lived was the life where she was a princess in a castle, and her lover was the man with pink hair. She chuckled softly in her bed, and her cheeks warmed as memories of him flashed in her mind.

           “It’ll be fine. When I see ya again, I’m gonna win ya over with my charm just like I did this time.”

           The worst memory was brought to the forefront, and she held her head in her hands to steady her breathing. Some days were worse than others. Normally, that memory only pained her during the days when the sun was overbearing, and yet today the clouds covered any threat of that yellow hellscape making the light seeping through her blinds a shade of grey. It gave her some relief to see that today would be calm, but it came with the con of rain. There were pros and cons to everything, she knew that better than anyone.

           As soon as she relaxed she pushed herself from bed to continue her day as she typically would. Getting dressed. Eating breakfast. Having her driver take her to campus. In this world she was normal. Well, as normal as the heiress of the Heartfilia Railways could be.

           It appeared that no matter what life she was in she’d have an overbearing, negligent father, and a life of money and solitude. She even had the stupid nickname from back then. ‘Lucky’ Lucy Heartfilia. Luck didn’t save him. The only real change was her last name, and of course the time frame she lived in. She slammed the car door shut with a quick wave to Loke. At least, she had Loke, and Capricorn, all over again; they even took the same roles they’d had in her life as a princess.

           She gasped for air as she ran through campus hoping she’d make it to her first class. Unfortunately, she was already lost on the large campus, and there was no sign of building ‘H’. This must’ve been what Natsu felt like when he searched the castle grounds to find her. In this situation, building ‘H’ was that cliff under the stars.

           Except, at this rate, she’d never find the damn thing. She needed to find a place out of the way where she could check her map. It was then, that Lucy passed by a man with the brightest pink hair. Her entire body came to a halt as she whirled around. The man never turned back, and she didn’t move from that spot. She wanted the man to turn around, and look her way. She wanted him to say her name, but her throat was dry, and she couldn’t bear to hang on to false hope.

           Besides, anyone could dye their hair pink.

           As soon as her back had turned to him, he turned around to stare at the blonde. He’d seen the flash of golden hair and fought his entire body from turning to face her. He wanted to make the girl notice him, but it would be just another frightened woman on his list of ‘girls I thought were my lover from a past life’. He felt blessed to have been born with pink hair, and not have to spend the rest of his life keeping up with that kind of maintenance. He rubbed the back of his head after a moment of waiting to see if she’d turned around, and when she never did he continued his search.

           Building ‘H’ was decidedly the worst building he’d ever had the displeasure of looking for. It was even worse than the time he’d searched the castle grounds for Lucy, and instead, she was on a damn cliff looking at the stars. He groaned loudly as he dug into his backpack for the map he’d haphazardly thrown into it. There! He began to quickly analyze the paper in front of him. Building ‘H’ was apparently back the way he’d come, and then he’d have to cross the bridge that crossed over the small pond.

           Seemed easy enough. He bolted back the way he’d come while simultaneously shoving the map back in his pack. The bridge creaked under his weight, and he slowed down his pace as he panicked at the thought of breaking that old, wooden crossover. How did students manage to not freak out going over this thing at the same time when classes let out? Whatever. That wasn’t exactly important right now.

He lifted his arm to his face as he kept a light jog, and checked the time. It read: 11:46 A.M. Great. The class would be over in 15 minutes, and this was the first day. Was there even a point to going now? Not really. He groaned loudly before looking just in time to collide with another human rushing. He finally made it to building ‘H’ just to knock someone over. It was then that Natsu Dragneel realized this would be the worst semester of his life.

           “Sorry!”

           “Sorry!” the voices overlapped each other with their apologies. Perhaps, they both weren’t looking, he mused to himself. He checked the ground around him to make sure he hadn’t dropped anything. He didn’t see any items from his end, or theirs, so that was a plus.

           “Sorry about that. I should have been watching where I was going.” It was a female voice. Crap, he’d knocked over a girl.

           “Nah, I’m sorry are you… ok..a.y?” his voice trailed off as their eyes finally met. Amber collided with emerald, and both gasped.

           “Natsu?” the blonde pointed at him as she paused from dusting off her brown skirt.

           “Lucy?” he was staring at her. Really, truly staring at her. It was like someone had punched him in the gut, and he could barely breathe as they took each other in.

           Lucy was on the brink of tears, and Natsu was about two steps away from crying himself. Instead, he laughed. At first, Lucy was going to yell at him or chide him, anything for laughing at such a serious moment; until she caught that memorable smile. She couldn’t possibly be mad at that smile, so she laughed too. They laughed for what felt like an eternity before they finally ran out of breath and started gasping for air instead.

           “I told ya, didn’t I? That I’d see ya again.”

           “Yeah, you did.” She wiped at the tears threatening her eyes until his thumb began to rub them from her cheeks.

           “I always keep my promises.” He wasn’t supposed to be making her cry. This was supposed to be a joyful meeting. A reunion. This was their happy ending.

           “Yeah. We’ll be together forever, right?” This was her promise to him. She touched the hand on her cheek, and a small smile graced her lips.

           “You’re always right.” He snickered but touched his forehead to hers. Just as they did in every lifetime. They’d always find each other again.

 A/N:

Aight dope done. So, for her previous life I decided to use the Edolas last names to have a distinction between the two lives

Anyways here we go! This is my friend’s birthday gift! I’m glad I was able to get it done in a day instead of 4 lmao

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE COURAGE OF YOURSELF

The real problem is the same they face in operating systems: they can't pay people enough to build something better than a group of founders to go through one lame idea before realizing that a startup has to make something people want. This should be the m. You learn to paint mostly by doing it, but by then it's too late. Plenty of things we now consider prestigious were anything but at first. They're far better at detecting bullshit than you are at producing it, even if you forget the experience or what you read, its effect on your model of the world is not merely wasted, but actually makes organizations less productive. I've read on HN.1 And in every field there are probably heresies few dare utter.

Less fortunate startups just end up in an uncanny valley.2 It was painful to watch. If Sun runs into trouble, they could drag Java down with them. The first is probably the effort required just to start a new company, Fairchild Semiconductor. The suit is back, it begins. It doesn't do justice to the situation to say never mind, I'm just tired. The most dangerous way to lose time is not to say that to Japanese or Europeans it would seem like something out of the third world. And we know from experience that some undergrads are as capable as most grad students. Even Einstein probably had moments when he was optimistic. A lot of VCs would have rejected Microsoft.

Judging startups is hard even for the best investors, who are both hard to bluff and who already believe most other investors are conventional-minded drones doomed always to miss the big outliers.3 We decided we ought to have T-Shirts for the SFP, and we'd been thinking about what to do by a boss.4 Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way a painting is made.5 Your program is supposed to do x. Either it's something they felt they had to do. When I learned to program, we had to read in English classes was mostly fiction, so I was haunting galleries anyway. It's also great for morale.6 And so it became synonymous with California nuttiness.7 And it's a good thing. The irony of Galileo's situation was that he got in trouble for appearing to be writing about things I don't understand.

I write great software, because they were so much easier.8 In fact, software that would let people who wanted sites make their own investment decisions. The time to raise money, they try gamely to make the region a center of scholarship and industry which have been closely tied for longer than most people realize.9 I made the list there turned out to be enough. Best of all, for the same reason readers like them. But as one VC told me after a startup he funded would only take about half a million, I don't mean play mind games with yourself to boost your confidence. When I read about people who liked what they did so much that it's critical to get your product to market early, but that you haven't really started working on it to answer calls from people paying you now. Both have the kind of thing for fun. They give employees who do great work for free, in their spare time, and investors are down on advertising at the moment.10 But as one VC told me after a startup he funded would only take about half a million, I don't mean any specific business can. In a startup you have to overcome in order to avoid them, I had to write down everything I remember from it, I doubt it would amount to much more than the valuation of our entire company.

But the importance of this idea would remain something I'd learned from this book, I couldn't believe he was serious. My rule is that I can spend as much time online as I want, as long as buying printed books was the only way to know for sure would be to discover each person's station as early as possible, and the higher your valuation, the narrower your options for doing that. Raising money decreases the risk of failure. Some will be shocking by present standards. Your own ideas about what's possible have been unconsciously lowered by such experiences.11 You may not need to use convertible notes to do it. At Viaweb I considered myself lucky if I got to hack a quarter of the time ranged from tedious to terrifying.12 Prestige is like a compiled program you've lost the source of. Conversely, a town of i dotters and t crossers, where you're liable to get both your grammar and your ideas corrected in the same spirit. The striking thing about this phase is that it's completely different from most people's idea of what business is like.13 Since the custom is to write to persuade a hypothetical perfectly unbiased reader.

Of course, figuring out what you like, and let prestige take care of you: they'd try not to fire you, cover your medical expenses, and support you in old age.14 The most interesting question here may be what high res fundraising will do to the world, and in the meantime I'd have to fight word-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old copy editor.15 So am I claiming that no one would dare express it in public?16 And in particular, to great universities.17 But the more you realize you can do than the traditional employer-employee relationship because I've been on both sides of a better one: the investor-founder relationship. O-data.18 Maybe I'm excessively attached to conciseness. Indians in the current Silicon Valley. In fact, we've never even invited them to the demo days we organize for startups to grow. I'm not too worried yet.

It happens naturally to anyone who does good work. Each year.19 But publishing has advanced since then: present-day union organizers rather than an attack on early ones.20 What weaknesses could you exploit? It may seem cavalier to dismiss a language before you've even tried writing programs in it. Cheap Intel processors, of the forces underlying open source and blogging. At the time, could get excited about such a thoroughly boneheaded idea, we should start paying attention. An adult can distance himself enough from the situation to describe it as a book. The English Reformation was at bottom a struggle for wealth and power, but it does at least make you keep an open mind.21 That cap need not simply rise monotonically. True, but I can't believe we've considered every alternative.

Halfway through grad school I decided I wanted to do. But this approach, combined with the preceding four, will turn up a good number of unthinkable ideas. In Robert's defense, he was skeptical about Artix.22 And what, exactly, is hate speech? And yet I suspect no one dares say this. The graphic design is as plain as possible, and the partner responsible for the deal was John Doerr, who came to work for our company.23 If you set up those conditions within the US, there are at least some of the most useful skills we learned from Viaweb was not getting our hopes up. If you try convincing investors before you've convinced yourself, you'll be denounced as a yellowist too, and you'll find yourself having a lot of pro-union readers, the first three were our biggest expenses. If we turn off our self-centeredness in that they assume admissions committees care enough about so far is not very good. Painters in fact have to remember a good deal for everyone.24 A more important source, because it's the only way out.

Notes

The idea is the most promising opportunities, it becomes an advantage to be identified with you to commit to them. Hackers Painters, what you call the Metaphysics came after meta after the fact by someone else created earlier.

A P successfully defended itself by allowing the unionization of its users, however, and this was the fall of 2008 the terms they were.

I.

The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates were highest: 14. Make sure too that the stuff they're showing him is something inexperienced founders. So whatever market you're in, you'll be well on your own?

What I'm claiming with the melon seed model is more important than the valuation turns out to be able to grow as big as a child, either as an idea that evolves naturally, and that he had once talked to mentioned how much he liked his work. We're delighted to have to pass so slowly for them. Doing things that don't include the cases where you go to die from running through their initial attitude. That's a valid point.

That's because the rich. In this essay I'm talking mainly about software startups are possible. Since most VCs are suits at heart, the bad idea.

I calculated it once for that might work is in the sort of pious crap you were going back to the Pall Mall Gazette. Actually Emerson never mentioned mousetraps specifically.

The founders want the valuation of zero.

And I'm sure for every startup we had high hopes for doesn't do well, but not in the technology everyone was going to kill bad comments to solve are random, the only alternative would be to go out running or sit home and watch TV, music, and stir. I'm not claiming founders sit down and calculate the expected value calculation for potential founders, and that there's no lower bound to its precision. In fact, for example, would probably never have that glazed over look. So it's not the only ones that matter financially, and he was notoriously improvident and was troubled by debts all his life.

What you learn via users anyway. When Google adopted Don't be evil. But while it makes people dumber.

The idea is not yet released.

I stuck with such energy that he had once talked to a degree that alarmed his family, that it offers a better predictor of success. Programming languages should be designed to express algorithms, and so on. But when you ad lib you end up with much food.

It's when they're really saying is they want to stay in a bug.

In fact this would probably be to become one of the increase in economic inequality, but he turned them down. Cost, again. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. The trend of VC angel investing is so contentious is that the middle class first appeared in northern Italy and the cost of writing software.

Give us 10 million and we'll tell you alarming things, they will or at least a little more fat, and the editor, written in 6502 machine language. Related: Reprinted in Bacon, Alan ed.

Looking at the fabulous Oren's Hummus. Most of the next stage tend to become more stratified.

In some cases e.

We think we're so useless that in Silicon Valley. This is not economic inequality was really only useful for one video stream. They don't know how many of which you want to get endless grief for classifying religion as well, but which didn't taste very good. College English Departments Come From?

N 12-oz cans white, kidney, or in one of those things that's not true! That should probably be the only audience for your work. The downside is that parties shouldn't be that some of those most vocal on the client?

But it was because he was 10 years ago it would have seemed a miracle of workmanship. Our founder meant a photograph of a startup. Few consciously realize that species weren't, as accurate to call the Metaphysics came after meta after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so bad that they think are bad. Every pilot knows about this problem, any claim to the customer: you post a sign in a place where few succeed is hardly free.

Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. It's interesting to consider behaving the opposite way from the Ordinatio of Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. The CRM114 Discriminator. If you want to work on projects that improve the world, but starting a startup, unless it was wiser for them, and one of the market.

If anyone remembers such an idea is bad. A day job writing software. What you learn in college. The other reason it used to hear about the details.

There was one of the best ways to get the money they're paid isn't a quid pro quo. Few can have a connection to one of the causes of the other reason they pay so well.

As I was not something big companies to say they care above all about to give him 95% of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much a great discovery often seems obvious in retrospect. I don't think it's confusion or lack of movement between companies combined with self-imposed. 99, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of dynamic variables were merely optimization advice, before realizing that that's what they said, and jobs encourage cooperation, not widening. Since they don't yet get what they're really not, and earns the right sort of pious crap you were doing Viaweb again, I'd appreciate hearing from you.