#this is my first song fic so sorry if the formatting is weird | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chahnniesroom · 5 months ago

Text

some loves

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

word count: 6.9k

tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic

read it on ao3 | masterlist

a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.

Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.

He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.

“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”

“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”

“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”

“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”

“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.

“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”

Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.

There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.

“I’m in,” Chan agrees.

“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”

“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”

“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.

“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.

“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”

—

Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.

Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.

“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”

“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”

“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”

“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”

“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.

“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”

They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.

HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.

“Y/n,” Chan breathes.

You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”

Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.

It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.

It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.

Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.

As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.

You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.

“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.

“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”

Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.

“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”

The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.

The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.

You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.

It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.

Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.

“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”

You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.

“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”

“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”

You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.

“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.

“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.

Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.

Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.

—

Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.

That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.

In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.

The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.

Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.

Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.

When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.

“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”

Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.

“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.

Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”

“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”

“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”

“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”

“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”

“You didn’t hear what happened?”

“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.

“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”

“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”

“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”

“Please,” Chan pleads.

“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”

It suddenly clicks.

“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”

“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”

“But really, we were never-”

“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”

“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”

“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”

“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”

“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.

“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”

“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”

“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”

“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”

—

A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.

After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.

“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”

That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.

“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.

“What happened?” he prods.

“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”

“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.

“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”

Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.

“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.

“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.

“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“What’s your gut feeling?”

“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”

“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”

Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.

“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”

“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”

“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”

As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.

At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.

“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.

Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.

[Received - 8:04pm]

Channie-oppa~

[Received - 8:04pm]

This is Y/nnie

[Received - 8:05pm]

Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/

[Received - 8:09pm]

But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?

Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.

[Sent - 8:10pm]

Hey Y/n!

[Sent - 8:11pm]

No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too

[Sent - 8:13pm]

I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ

[Received - 8:13pm]

Gangdong-gu?

[Received - 8:14pm]

Ohh JYPE

[Received - 8:14pm]

My bad, forgot that you guys moved

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Yeahhh

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry

[Received - 8:18pm]

Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

Wait, really?

[Sent - 8:18pm]

No no no, don’t take the subway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min

[Received - 8:19pm]

Wowow

[Received - 8:19pm]

Private driver?

[Received - 8:20pm]

You’re a real superstar now haha

[Sent - 8:21pm]

alsfjshkafs noooooooo

[Sent - 8:21pm]

It’s just faster

[Sent - 8:21pm]

and safer

[Received - 8:22pm]

I’m not complaining

[Received - 8:22pm]

but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you

[Received - 8:23pm]

If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭

[Sent - 8:24pm]

Knew it

[Sent - 8:25pm]

You’re just using me for my fame

[Received - 8:26pm]

Ah you got me this time

[Received - 8:26pm]

*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks

[Received - 8:27pm]

Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up

[Received - 8:27pm]

Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?

Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.

Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.

[Received - 8:32pm]

?? Speechless that I caught on?

[Received - 8:36pm]

I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped

[Received - 8:40pm]

Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked

[Received - 8:42pm]

It was nice knowing you I guess

When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.

[Sent - 8:53pm]

Sorry, lost track of time

[Sent - 8:53pm]

They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything

[Received - 8:54pm]

Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts

[Received - 8:55pm]

But thanks

[Received - 8:55pm]

Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?

[Received - 8:55pm]

I’m honoured

Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.

“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”

“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”

“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.

“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”

“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”

“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”

“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”

“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”

“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”

“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”

It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.

“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”

“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”

“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”

“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.

“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.

“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.

“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.

"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."

“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”

"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”

"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."

“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”

“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.

“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”

"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.

"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.

"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"

“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.

“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.

“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.

Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.

“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."

You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.

“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”

"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"

"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."

"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."

Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.

Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.

"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.

"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"

You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.

"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."

At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.

"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."

read it on ao3 | masterlist

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dannystheone · 4 months ago

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Welcome home!!! So exciting to hear from you again!

Can I ask what your South Park fic is going to be? Who’s the lee/ler?

Thank you so much! I still can't believe it lmao

Sure! I decided to just put the fic here lol

I had this idea over deployment and I kicked myself cause why didn't I think of it before lol

Here is the mash-up song that is referenced in the fic! I know super last year LMAO stop I haven't been here

youtube

also sorry if my formatting is weird and my writing is rusty it's obviously been a while but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :)

WARNINGS: Cursing, references to SH (self harm) and drinking

Which Song? (Lee/Ler Jersey Shore Kyle/ Lee/Ler Goth Stan) (aged up)

Jersey Shore!Kyle and Goth!Stan are having a sleepover and decided to pull out the karaoke for this one! But which song can they agree on despite their differing tastes?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Stan. Stan- Stan. Watch me." Stan looked up begrudgingly to Kyle with one pierced eyebrow raised expectantly. Well, it was a stud glued on to his skin, but he would never admit it. Stan watched as Kyle flipped his black cap backward on his head and donned stylish black shades.

Kyle adopted a stance that showed off his lean yet toned torso and picked up his phone to start taking selfies. Wearing a tight white tank top and Elmo pajama bottoms that hung off his hips, Stan was his complete opposite dressed in all baggy blacks and grays.

"What? I'm watching you make thirst traps? You're gross." Stan rolled his eyes and looked back down at his phone. Alt TikTok was his current addiction. Anyone who danced on Tik-Tok like mindless zombies were posers.

Kyle snorted at his best friend and crossed the room to throw his arm over Stan's shoulders and snapped a photo. It came out blurry as Stan struggled in his grip.

"Ah come on Stan, you're no fun anymore. Come on, you can sing with me." Stan shoved Kyle off as Kyle was already moving to the karaoke machine. Kyle pressed a button on the machine that booted up a song immediately. Kyle tipped his shades down to look at Stan with green-tinted eyes as he pointed at Stan with one hand and held a microphone with his other as the first notes of his song began to play. Stan rolled his eyes once more as he scratched near his eyelid, shedding black eyeshadow in the process.

"Hey, baby girl, what you doin' tonight? I wanna see what you got in stooore~ Giving it your all when you're dancing on me-" Kyle rocked his hips in tune with the music which Stan stifled both a groan and a blush at the same time at that; very confusing.

-"I wanna see if you can gimme some more~ You can be my girl and I can be your man, and we can pump this jam however you waaant~ Pump it from the side pump it upside down-" Kyle lifted one leg onto the couch and started humping the air in tune to the song, to which Stan stood up abruptly and crashed into him to get him to stop.

"Alright alright alright! Quit it!" Stan clicked a button on the machine that paused the song, silence filling its place. Kyle tsked, disappointed as he threw his arms up.

"Dude it was getting good, what the fuck?! Turn it back on." Kyle pressed the button to turn the song back on, but the machine didn't respond. Kyle pressed it a few more times, to no avail, and kicked it out of frustration. "This shit's gahbage. Need to get a new one, it's been acting up lately."

"Or the machine just doesn't want to play your shitty-ass song. Here, I'll show you what real music is. Not this disgusting Disney pop trash." Stan programmed the machine to play a new song, and snagged the microphone from Kyle, but not without a flirtatious wink from Kyle first. Stan's cheeks burned an uncharacteristic red as the first few notes of the song began to play. He began to sing.

"Hey scene slut, I'm still cutting tonight. That's why my wrists are so sooore~" Kyle gave Stan a bewildered look as Stan kept going.

"I know you got a boyfriend, but you're a whore. Everybody drinking, shot glasses on the floor. We be clubbing all night, gimme some more-" Now it was Kyle's turn to shut off the machine. Stan petered out the last few words without the song's help and whirled around to face Kyle.

"Hey, what the hell? It was getting to the good part!" Stan asked angrily. Kyle put his hands on his hips and motioned to Stan.

"You call that music? They're talking about cutting themselves and whores for Christ's sake!" Kyle rose his voice while adjusting his shades, which riled Stan up as well.

"What about your song with you humping the damn air? That's not inappropriate?! Turn it back on, I said." Stan reached to turn the music back on the machine, but Kyle gripped his wrist before he could make it. Stan attempted to wrench his hand back but Kyle kept a firm hold on him.

"Hell no. We either listen to my music or not. I'm not catching your depression from your emo My Chemical Romance crap." That was Stan's final straw. With a growl, Stan launched himself at Kyle and took him to the floor. Kyle's shades and cap were knocked off his head as Stan straddled his hips. Stan knew he'd have to take the advantage as soon as possible because he did NOT have a physical advantage over Kyle. It was a part of the Jersey aesthetic for men to be ripped, and Kyle was indeed that while Stan was...not.

So Stan tore down Kyle's defenses the only way he knew how. Stan started scribbling his fingers in between the spaces of Kyle's lower ribs and sides; Kyle already bubbling up in laughter as he wriggled on the carpet.

"My music is not Emo you wanna-be Jersey Shore copycat. It's better than anything you've ever played!" Stan yelled, his black lipstick staining the corners of his mouth. It's been a while since he touched up his makeup, but that would have to wait. He would have to teach this lesson to Kyle quick before he tried any retaliation.

Kyle's red hair splayed on the carpet as he laughed and tried to grab Stan's wrists. "Pffmt- Stahahan! Stohohop thahat!" Funnily enough, in his laughing fit, his Jersey accent mysteriously disappeared. Kyle's eyes squinted as his smile took up his face; Stan's hand spidering his hard stomach. How could he have this many abs and still be so sensitive, Stan thought distantly.

"No, this is the only way you'll listen. You're not only calling my music Emo, but you also called it crap." Stan's next point was drowned out by Kyle's outpour of laughter as Stan kneaded an exceptionally mean thumb in Kyle's bare hip divet. Wearing his pajama pants so low had its consequences. Kyle's eyes were screwed shut as he was temporarily too weak to fight back."STAhahahan! Gehehehet ohohohoff!" Kyle yelled out and wriggled like a worm on a hook.

"Hmph, your fault for wearing your pants so low. I mean, who does that? It's like you're asking for this to happen. This is why your music and fashion tastes are questionable at best. See, if you would pay attention to any of the Goth Tiktoks I send you, we'd agree a lot more often." Stan grew way too comfortable with the situation in his position. He attempted to hold both of Kyle's wrists in one of his hands, which Kyle easily broke out of.

Kyle's hand shot out to start squeezing the closest part of Stan to him. It was Stan's knee that was exposed through his baggy jeans. Stan yelped and folded to the side, crumbling easily. Kyle popped up and dove in, causing Stan to shriek. Kyle's face was flushed and his curls bounced around his forehead while his fingers squished and kneaded into his best friend.

"W-Wahahait wahait waihait! No nohoho no I'm SAH-! I'm sohohohrry!" Stan fought to bring his knees up to his belly to protect himself, but Kyle found weak spots all over him. He squished Stan's sides, which made Stan cover his sides, and when his hands were out of the way he kneaded into his hips, causing him to squeal.

"Oh, talk about my accent leaving? You raised 3 octaves in your voice! I've never heard you so loud. You know maybe if you spoke up more often, I'd actually care about your opinion on my tastes." Kyle swung a leg around Stan's thighs to force one of them down and attacked his belly with one hand. Stan's tummy was definitely softer than Kyle's, with some chub around his belly button. Which just so happens to be ridiculously ticklish. Stan yelped as Kyle repeatedly squished the patch of chub over and over again.

"KYhyhyhyhle! Stohohohop stohohop stop! Nohohot thehehere!" Kyle was unfazed at his best friend's reaction. He knew when Stan really needed it to stop, and he wasn't nearly there yet.

"Huh, I wonder what would happen if I recorded this and sent it to your uppity black-clothed douchebag friends. You think they would kick you out of their dick-sucking club- GAH!" Stan didn't know how he did it, but he managed to wrench his grip out of Kyle's hold and shoved his hand up Kyle's armpit and started to scribble.

"Youhohohou ahahahasshole! Gehehehet ohohout of thehehere!" Kyle winced as Stan rose higher and shook his hand in the sensitive spot.

"Yeah? Well what if I recorded this and sent it to your orange spray-tanned "5-seconds-of-fame" seeking asshole friends and show them what a poser you are? I'm sure anyone THIS incredibly ticklish couldn't fit in-" Kyle reached forward and gripped Stan's hip and started to knead. Stan fell backward on the carpet of the living room like a felled tree. Kyle smirked at how easy it was to disarm his friend.

"You're one to talk aren't you, huh Cabbage? Well, you won't be talking in a second." Kyle's chain escaped his tank top as he thrust forward and started squishing into Stan's belly. Stan shrieked a manly sound as he started to curl up into his defensive ball.

"Shuhu-ahahaha! Shuhuhuhut uhuhuhup!" Stan yelled out. Kyle snorted at Stan's attempt at being intimidating. Stan reached out and did what he could. Kyle's chain glinted in his eye as he grabbed the cross and yanked it off Kyle's neck. Stan kept it in a tight grip in his fist and raised it above his head.

Now it was Kyle's turn to roll his eyes as he simply started scratching his fingers in Stan's armpit. Stan instinctively shot his elbow down to save himself as Kyle attempted to pry his fingers open.

"Give that back asshole! It's my only Ed Hardy chain!" As Kyle was distracted trying to get his chain back, Stan reached forward and scribbled his fingers in Kyle's ribs. Kyle winced as he tried his hardest to ignore it, but he couldn't ignore his side getting squished. Kyle let go of Stan's hand and angrily squished Stan's kneecap to get back at him, to which Stan yelped and kicked his leg out reflexively. His Converse-covered foot kicked the glitchy karaoke machine.

Both Stan and Kyle stopped respectively at the loud clank; their hearts beating wildly in their chests. The machine made some whirring sounds, like recording and re-recording and wires getting crossed. Suddenly, a song started to play. The last two songs that were recently played on the machine glitched into one melody.

"Hey baby girl what you doin' tonight?"

"Hey scene slut, I'm still cutting tonight."

"I wanna see what you got in stooore~"

"That's why my wrists are so sooore~"

Kyle looked to Stan; his makeup smeared and his hair tousled. He lost his beanie somewhere in the fight. Stan looked to Kyle, his tank top half drug up and his hair a mess. Stan silently handed Kyle over his chain and shrugged his shoulders.

"This song actually..." Stan started.

"...sounds pretty fucking good." Kyle finished. They both smirked at each other, everything wordlessly forgiven as it always was since they were kids, and picked up the microphone, where they proceeded to sing their hearts out for the rest of the night.

#south park #south park tickles #goth!stan #jersey!kyle #stan marsh #lee stan marsh #ler stan marsh #kyle brovlofski #lee kyle broflovski #ler kyle broflovski #lee stan #ler stan #lee kyle #ler kyle

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fr3sh-tragedies · 5 months ago

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hey! hope you’re doing well🫶🏻

i was wondering if you can write more fics with Rose Winters x fem reader, because i really liked the most recent fic with her. 💕

thank you! have a good day! 🩷

Admission

[Shadows of Rose] Rosemary Winters x Female Reader

Summary: Rose has grown to like you, though she keeps her feelings hidden, convinced that you wouldn't feel the same way. Her worries are relieved when you sit her down for a talk.

Word Count: 3.17k Content Warnings: Fear of rejection Category: Soft Angst + Heavy Fluff || One-shot

[A/N]: Sorry for taking so long to post again. I've been trying to figure stuff out with my meds, and it's been messy. Thank you so much for requesting, hun! I hope you like what I managed to come up with!

[A/N] #2: Sorry if the formatting for the images and GIF above are weird. I kept trying to edit it properly on my phone and my laptop, but it kept changing every time I saved the post.

Enjoy!

Blended between the gentle rustle of leaves and the soulful songs of birds chirping high above, hearty barks of laughter sprung to life. Trailing forward on the graveled path encircling the small scenic park, you and Rose snickered with each shared inside joke passed alongside light, playful pushes, uncaring of the eyes trained on you in curiosity and slight annoyance.

As she spoke about another joyous memory of hers, you couldn’t help but take notice of the features adorning the heavenly smile painted across Rose’s lips. Although her eyes only periodically met yours as she recalled and retold the story in her mind, the way they crinkled from the amusement – also evident in her tone – was prominent. Similarly, upon chuckling in response to a particularly comical moment, the bridge of her nose scrunched up, and you watched as her hands flew down to rest on her gut to prevent herself from doubling over as another wave of laughter erupted from her throat.

God, she was beautiful.

You’d known that since the moment you met her years ago during one of her outdoor training exercises. To this day you were unsure as to why she was suddenly allowed to train away from the BSAA grounds, though you would forever be grateful to the soldiers stationed there who let her be free for a day and enjoy the park between training sessions.

You remembered watching her in pure awe then, just as you continued to do now. Everything about her amazed you.

On that particular day when you had first met, it was inspiring to witness how effortlessly she seemed to move during practice, and even more breathtaking to see how intrigued she was by the nature that surrounded her when she was allowed a break. The way her cheesy grin grew as she watched two birds dancing up in the branches, how the brightness of her blue eyes filled with curiosity when they finally landed on you, how she eagerly bounced your way with her arm outstretched �� each little characteristic she presented to you swept you off your feet.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” she chirped once you managed to snap out of your awestruck trance and take her hand into your own. When you timidly offered up your name, she nodded and repeated it. “Pretty name,” she noted out loud to herself. She hadn’t seemed to notice the way your body tensed, nor the way your face grew warm and red at her words. Instead, she asked what you were doing there, and more importantly why you’d been watching her.

A moment passed where you came forward with no explanation, desperately trying to find a good enough excuse that wouldn’t make you come across as odd to this new, bubbly girl. Finally, you forced yourself to admit that you thought what she had been doing looked cool. “Oh, really?” She asked, her brows raised. “Why don’t you join me then? It’ll be fun!”

At first you tried to deny her suggestion. All it took to win you over, however, was a small, drawn-out “please,” paired with the pleading eyes you would later learn to be her favorite way to convince you to do what she wanted. Ultimately, you agreed, and she led you to the small, secluded section of the park she had been using to train all day. Just as she had begun to explain one of the easier maneuvers, excited to have someone to finally talk to, a gruff, towering man approached, halting her small lesson with a question of his own.

“Who is this, Rose?”

She turned to him, all of a sudden trembling and waving her hands about as she did her best to defend herself to this strange man. “She’s just a friend,” was how she started, and his head cocked itself to the side, eyes trained heavily on you with some kind of emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. “I figured we could do a few of the training moves together for fun.” The man sighed, shoulders drooping with fatigue and rough hand raising to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Rose, we’ve been over this.”

“I know, but I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ease up this once. Chris, I’ve been working so hard, just like you want me to, but I really want to take a break every once in a while. Why can’t I just relax for one day? Isn’t that why you brought me out here this time?”

You remembered standing there, hands practically tied together in an attempt to ease the harsh trembling they carried. The soft breeze that day only forced you to take notice of the frigid beads of sweat forming on the back of your neck, which you not-so-subtly swiped at as you listened to them speak. The nerves throughout your body spiked when the man, whose name you barely managed to pick up on as Chris, glared over at you once more.

Wordlessly, his gaze flickered between you and Rose. You could feel yourself melting beneath his crushing eyes, your own focus landing on the soft tufts of vibrantly green grass beneath your shoes.

“Just this once,” he said at length, prompting you to snap your head up to face him again. You weren’t sure who he was, but you could tell how important his word was to Rose, who had once again grown giddy at his permission. “Thank you, Chris,” she cheered as she tugged him sideways into a small hug.

She pulled you to a nearby spot and continued explaining the specific move she had tried to talk about earlier. Chris kept a watchful eye on the two of you, though you could tell it was more on you than her. After some time, you didn’t even notice him anymore, too engulfed in the game you and Rose had made up and started playing. By the time soft blues and purples began to paint the sky, you saw how he seemed to be more at ease around you, even offering you a kind smile before you parted ways with your new friend.

Now, as you trotted through the park with that same friend, it was all too easy to listen to her poke fun at a few failed training experiments she had with Chris over the years. Even with her teasing words, it was clear how much the man meant to her. “He’s like a second father to me,” she told you once.

As she finished her thought and turned to you, you blinked, unsure of whether or not she had asked you something. You had been too focused on how the palette of the setting sun casted itself beautifully over the blonde locks tucked underneath her cap and her pale skin, the hues alone making her look ethereal. You fidgeted with your phone in your pocket for a moment, wanting to capture her in that moment.

“Is there something on my face?” She questioned suddenly, subconsciously wiping her mouth as your silence briefly continued. “Oh, no,” you replied after finally coming back to your senses. “Sorry, I just kind of zoned out for a minute.” She hummed and nodded, a small smile toying effortlessly at the corners of her lips.

For a split second, you found yourself gawking at her again. Before she could catch you a second time, however, you coerced yourself to instead listen to the crunching of the gravel beneath your feet as they carried you forward, your eyes dropping to watch them do so. The cool wind that grazed over your skin was welcome in comparison to the burning sensation building up in your face, and you were unable to bite back a small huff of relief when it cooled and dried the droplets of sweat forming on your brow. Curiously, Rose glanced your way at the sound, though she looked ahead again when you said nothing more.

“So,” she started after walking a few more paces, “any ideas on what you want to do after high school? I mean, I know you told me about the college you want to go to and what you want to major in, but any plans for anything else?”

“Anything else?” You echoed. “What do you mean?”

Just as yours had done only a moment prior, Rose’s face seemed to burn scarlet red, though she quickly averted her eyes and turned her head to hide it. Forming a fist and bringing it up to cover her mouth, she cleared her throat and nodded. “Yeah, like…” She shrugged, though it seemed more like she was trying to get something off her shoulders than being casual about it. “I don’t know. Maybe start dating someone, or… do something else?” She scoffed. “I don’t know.” It hurt your heart to see her seem so anxious about something, but her tone and timidness brought a sense of endearment as well.

“Oh,” you blurted, mirroring her actions and turning away to hide the betrayal of your reddening features. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it awkward,” she murmured with a defeated sigh.

You desperately wanted to tell her she didn’t make anything awkward, wanted her to know there was nothing to feel guilty about, but it would be a blatant lie to say things weren’t uncomfortable. Instead, all you could offer up was a whispered “it’s okay.”

As the world around you quietened and settled to make way for the rising moon, your mind raced and scrambled for something more to say. “Well,” you squeaked out eventually. “I don’t know about dating anyone, but it would be nice to find a steady job so college doesn’t completely kick my ass.” A quiet chuckle slipped from her lips, though she seemed disappointed in your answer, her eyebrows creasing as though she had been expecting something else. Hoping for something else.

“Yeah,” was her only reply.

When your eyes finally wandered over to look at her, she seemed further away, her eyes slightly dull and that smile gone from her face entirely. Upon noticing this shift in her demeanor, you found yourself determined to cheer her up, eyes flickering around the area almost frantically for an escape from this tense atmosphere you had unintentionally built.

A few paces ahead was a bench, clear of other people and free from any potential prying eyes. As you crossed through the grass, Rose watched you with a hint of confusion, quickly trailing behind and ultimately joining you on the bench. Before any other thoughts could form, one thought in particular made itself known to you, one that had you crumbling slightly from fear.

It seemed the short-lived discussion of dating seemed to be the cause of her deflated charisma. Maybe bringing it up again in a different light would spark that gleam in her eyes again.

While your hands fiddled restlessly with the hem of your shirt, Rose looked around silently at the empty park, the tree behind the bench nearly drowning the both of you in total darkness as the sun continued to fall beneath the horizon. It took some time before she noticed your shuffling, though her face was quick to contort with concern when she did. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just,” a quick clearing of your throat was made as an attempt to conceal the way your voice shook and cracked. “Can I be honest with you about something?” She nodded. “Of course.” “It has to do with what we were talking about earlier. About dating someone?” At your words, she seemed to perk up, a strange concoction of emotions flooding behind her gaze.

Even with the darkening shadows dimming any clarity given by her features, she made it evident that she had taken a sudden interest in what you had to say. She was eager.

You heard the rustling of her sleeves as her arms lurched forward toward you, only to falter and return to her sides, and could still make out the silhouette and the curve of her face when she winced at her own actions. You paid no mind to it, knowing that what you were wanting to say would probably bring you more grief than what she felt.

“I do actually like someone,” you mumbled, shying away from her gaze when it returned to you. “But will you promise me you won’t freak out if I tell you who it is?”

As if the incident from before had been replayed, she physically deflated at your words all over again.

“Uh,” she whispered, looking down unsurely.

“Yeah, sure. I promise.”

Her tone made you hesitate for a moment. If she was this upset just by you mentioning you had feelings for someone, how would she react to you admitting who it was? Before you could lose the nerve, you forced yourself to speak. “Well, she’s special to me. Ever since I met her, she’s done nothing but make me happy, and I feel like I can actually be myself around her. I feel… safe and secure with her, and I’ve honestly been picturing myself with her in the future.”

Each passing word seemed to crush Rose more and more, though you continued with this seemingly brutal torture anyway.

“She’s beautiful, and funny, and smart, and strong, and talented, and I didn’t realize how important she is to me until recently. I want to tell her how I feel and see if she feels the same, but I need you to be honest with me. Do you think she’d feel the same way?”

Bitterly, she shrugged and shifted her hands to toy with her fingers. “Depends,” she responded bluntly. “Who is it?”

“It’s you, Rose.”

For an agonizingly silent moment, all she could do was stare down at her hands, and you wondered to yourself if she had even heard you at all. Just as you parted your lips to repeat yourself, her head lifted and turned to you. The pale lighting from the slowly rising moon caressed her face, allowing you to see the starstruck expression that riddled her features. Shakily, she lifted her finger to point at herself. “Me?” She asked in disbelief, a scarlet red hue dusting across her cheeks.

When you nodded, it only took half a second before that gleaming smile you adored more than life itself broke out across her lips. “Oh,” she blurted, shrinking into herself a bit while her chipped nails tapped at the backs of her knuckles, her grin never fleeing.

Her eyes, although you couldn’t see them clearly in the little light provided, flickered down for a moment in thought before returning to your own gaze. “You’ve been picturing a future together with me?” You hummed and nodded, soft prickles bubbling up on the back of your neck as your mind tried to convince you of every possible way she could reject you then. The thumping of your heart skipped with fear when she laughed, and your head dipped down to hide your face.

“I never thought you’d actually feel the same way,” she confessed, hands writhing against one another. The moment the words left her lips, you found yourself glancing back up at her, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock. “You like me too?” Another soft chuckle. “Yeah, of course I do. I honestly thought I was horrible at hiding it, but apparently not.”

The corners of her lips perked up into a sly smirk. “Or maybe you’re just a little too dense for it.” Playfully, you smacked the side of her arm, which prompted another joyful laugh that you could never get enough of. Slowly, her hand slid over to cover yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “But in all seriousness, I really do like you. I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while now, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I really didn’t think you would feel the same way.”

Tilting your head to the side, you gave a look of confusion. “What? Why wouldn’t I like you? You’re only, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She tucked her hair back out of her face before offering a small shrug as a response. Your question seemed to bring her a feeling of discomfort, and although you weren’t sure why, you were quick to try and think of a way to cheer her up again. Before you were able to speak, however, she answered you properly.

“Well, I mean… to be fair, I haven’t always exactly been liked. Before I met you, I had never actually fallen in love with anyone. Mainly because I’ve never been close to anyone before, but also because you’re the only person I actually feel safe with. I feel like I can be myself around you – like I finally mean something. You make me feel like I’m normal in all the best ways. Chris is nice, but he and the others have only raised me to be a bioweapon for them, and they don’t hide the fact that that’s how they see me. You, though… You make me feel human. You make me feel like I’m a real person who has her own purpose – her own life and future.

“And if I’m being honest? As corny as this is going to sound, I don’t want to live in any future for myself if you’re not in it. I was worried that if I confessed how I felt to you, you’d think I was weird or gross and wouldn’t want to be around me anymore. That’s why I kept trying to hide how I feel. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Each passing word only caused your smile to grow. As she spoke, you flipped your hand around in hers, allowing you to finally lace your fingers with hers. When she fell silent again, you gave her hand a small squeeze, similar to how she had done to you shortly before. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You know I feel the same, and you know I want to have a future with you.”

Slowly, she rose to her feet, then turned and helped you stand to look her in the eye. Even with the blackening shadows, you could still see the smitten gleam in her eyes, paired with the seemingly permanent smile on her lips. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she whispered.

“So what does that make us?” You stepped forward, arms flying out to encircle her and pull her flush against your body, prompting a small yelp to sound from her. As quickly as you had reached for her, she all but melted into your touch and held you just as tightly in return. “Well, I’d like to be your girlfriend,” you replied. “But only if you feel the same.”

Her shoulders shook slightly against you as she laughed, her fingernails digging in lightly to your shirt as she nodded. “Of course I feel the same, you dork. I’d love nothing more than to be able to call you mine.”

#fluff #x reader #female reader #slight angst #resident evil village #resident evil #heavy fluff #rose winters #rosemary winters #rosemary winters x reader #rosemary winters x female reader #rose winters x reader #rose winters x female reader

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phoenix-writez · 3 months ago

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Decided to post entry #1 here as some people may not enjoy reading things on ao3 :D

I'm not sure how to format the fic on tumblr, so feel free to give me criticism! (Constructive. Criticism. I will ignore insulting)

So, have fun with Scar's POV! It's in first person, so if you're not a fan of that... Sorry! I try to analyze the characters beforehand and write them as themselves! Scar's a silly little guy, so I hope I got that down!

—

Entry #1

[SCAR]

August 18, 1997

This place is fun, honestly! I got here just four days ago!

A theater filled with red and pink strobe lights, it feels rather disco-ey, if I'm being honest. There's a rather large stage where people step up and say whatever they want. There's actors, circus acts, and even singers. Or karaoke.

Why is karaoke spelled that way? It should be kareoke, but to each their own!

Either way, I've gone up there a few times just to sing songs from my favorite cartoons. Had a few cheers from the crowd, but not many.

I loved it here though!

When I first got to the theater, I had been with a few friends. I don't know where they went, lost track of them. I remember this guy welcoming us, holding out his hand and grinning fancily.

“Welcome, all! This is the Eye’s Spy Theatre!”

Trust me, it's not spelled theater. I learned the hard way.

“Want me to take you to your rooms?” The fella acknowledged each of us. He had a towel folded over his arm, just like a butler would in a fictional story. I tilted my head to the side like a dog, “Sir? No offense, but I don't recall this being a hotel.”

“Perhaps you missed the sign, but all is well, Scar Goodtimes, your room is already booked. First floor, as always! Can't be giving you anything further than that with your given situation, can we?” He says, then steps behind me.

I raise my hands, “WAIT– Hands off, fancy guy! Firstly, what do you mean?”

“How do you know his name?” My friend asked. Fancy Guy looked over, “When you book a room, we get your names on the screen. Besides, I know everyone in this town.”

Right.

—

August ??????

I woke up with a start, hearing a bang nearby. I pull myself onto my chair and roll onward, out of the room.

“What?! What happened–”

I look towards the stage, my breath slows. “Oh! Obviously.” I giggle, then I do a double take. What the– “What am I doing up there?!”

On the stage, was me in a weird outfit. I've never seen this kind of outfit before, honestly. Maybe some new fashion shaped itself in the six days I've been here.

Wait… how long has it been?

I blink, but I can't really think. My memory is kinda foggy.

I see more characters on the stage, some blue haired guy and this ginger lady clearly tired out and breathing heavy. I'm not sure if it was Hollywood level acting, or they were actually just overworked out of their minds.

I roll towards the bar, and no, this bar isn't necessarily an alcoholic bar you see at night time when everything else closes. I'm sixteen! I can't even drink anyway! I doubt rules changed that much when I've been here.

I grin at the tender, “Do you have anything other than really warm milk? It was you, after all, who said you'd make this the best experience possible y'know.”

“I… we do, in fact. Anything you want, dear hero.”

“Hero? My name is Scar, did you forget that fancy pants?” I smirk. “No. I did not.” He said flatly.

“Oh.”

“I'd like just a simple water, honestly.” I said. “Ah, only the crispiest we'll hand out for you.” The man kneels towards the shelves.

Huh? I blink. He's reaching up at them actually, I swear I've been seeing things.

I spend my time drinking the water and distracting myself from the fact I may have just met my walking doppelganger. Though he's using a cane, still those legs can work and I'm jealous.

Just kidding, I don't care.

—

After a few minutes, I nearly jump, but I keep my composure. Another guy, looks around my age but surprisingly short. I'd give him a… 4’11? Jeez, really needs a growth spurt by now.

He ordered an orange juice and stared into the distance. That's when he spoke to me, “Fun act, right?”

“I wasn't really interested, too confusing. What was that back there, some kinda jester or whatever?”

“I'd give it a 5 out of tried their best.” The short guy said, then he turned to look at me and giggled. “You look like one of the actors.”

“Must be a long lost brother.” I put my cup down and look at him, and woah. My eyes widened and I smiled awkwardly. “Well! That's a… so what's your name, orange juice?”

“Oh! My name's Grian.” He smiled so brightly. I chuckled, “Cool! My name is Scar.”

“Oh I know–”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, long story.”

“Everyone knows my name in this place!” I look back at the table in front of us. “That would be a given. This place isn't really, well, real.” Someone walked towards us both.

Actually, a group.

The actors.

“Aw, I'm getting a standing ovation from the fellas themselves–” I look around. “Where's the guy who looked like me?”

“Hi.” This strange lab coat wearing guy– oh! I know him. Cub?!

I blinked. How long ago did he show up here? Two days ago I saw him on the news and he looked much shorter, and he'd been running away from a police department, some sort of forensics office he'd blown up.

Cub raked his hands through his hair, it looked really messy. “I sorta used this weird amulet to change my appearance.”

“Are we still acting?” I asked, “Amulet, you say? Well, I simply cannot!” Immediately, my hand impacts my forehead dramatically. “... We're acting, right?”

“No.” Grian said, “Though he is lying, listen, Scar. I'm gonna ask you a really weird question and you have to answer me.”

“Uh-huh…”

“What year is it?”

“Oh! That's easy, 1997, duh! Did you guys hit your heads or something?” I smiled, chuckling. The bartender finally came by and gave Grian his orange juice. Then he vanished.

Grian grabbed his cup and he took a sip. “1997, hm? What if I told you it's not?”

“I wouldn't believe you.” I giggled. “I've been here for a week, duh! Got here just Monday with some of my friends. Where did they go, though?” I looked around. I still couldn't see them.

“They probably got out.” The sassy blue guy said, “Yeah, or stuck.” The ginger crossed her arms. I looked at them. “They’re just in their rooms.”

“Why don't we take a look then, huh? Where are their rooms?” Grian asks, I shift awkwardly. “...Third floor.”

“This thing doesn't have an elevator for you?” Cub asks.

“If a building ain't as tall as five stories, there's no need.” I lean back in my chair. “Which is, uh, needless to say, no.”

The ginger thought for a moment, then she grinned. “Tell them the numbers, and we'll go on from there. I'll stay back with you, just so you have someone near you!”

“I'm fine on my own.” I looked at her. “Absolutely not,” she glanced at me up and down, “genuinely, if I had to guess. You're dehydrated, probably haven't eaten much, and the moment you see the sun your eyes will wish you'd gone blind.”

“With these strobe lights? Might as well have gone blind already.” I shrugged, she stared at them. “They're LED now.”

“Meh! I think they always have been, luminescent and whatnot.” I said, “What's your name, by the way?”

“Gem. That there is Scott, he's uh… something, alright.” She sighed. Scott, the fancy blue guy, waves. “I'll go up third floor, what's the room?”

“Rooms, uh… 307, 315? I think?”

“Why are they so separated?” Grian’s eyes widened. “The rooms might've been taken between ‘em.” Cub immediately began his journey towards the stairs.

“Eight rooms between them?! Cub, there's seven people in this room!”

“Most people got drained after the second day and went to sleep. Haven't seen them since.” I added.

Grian paused. He looked at Gem, and they both seemed to come to an agreement. I heard Gem mutter, “Hypnos,” and she sat by me. Grian stood up.

“I thought that guy was fine by now! What's going on?” He grumbled. My head laid on the table like my neck had gotten exhausted from holding it. “Maybe he changed his mind.”

“Or maybe, this establishment is really old and he forgot to tear it down.” Grian sighed, then he took a step forward and looked at the ground.

“What's… this symbol doing here?”

“Aren't you supposed to be heading up to the third floor?” I said, for some reason my body felt like all the energy was getting sucked out of it. I don't know how, but everything in my field of vision was getting blurry. And Grian had sharp-ish ears, and an elven face. I swore he didn't look real.

Because he didn't.

I glanced at Gem, and she looked completely normal. Besides the fact that she was actively plotting something and had a sword in her belt. I don't know what I saw before, but I guess I just assumed she was in some sort of costume.

Everyone wears costumes around here. I've seen a giant guy with a hundred arms walk around here demanding for some cyclops guy, then he exited the building fine as that.

I felt nauseous, and everything went black.

—

I don't know. I don't know what today is. Everything is the same.

I wasn't out for long, fainting spells don't usually last longer than a minute. I woke up and everyone was staring at me with concern. “We found your friends.” Scott grimaced, “And we found you, doing the same thing as them.”

“I passed out, I don't know what happened.” I groaned, “Grian, since when were you an elf guy?”

Grian giggled, “I'm not an elf, idiot.”

“Why are your ears all sharp then?”

“Oh! That's just normal, I was born like that.” Grian shrugged, “But back to you. You passed out on our watch, which means this doesn't happen when you're on your own.”

“Possible.” Cub gazed at the floor, then he leaned and played around with the tiles like it was a puzzle. “What do you mean possible? We proved your hypothesis, thank you.” Grian tilted his head.

“What if we're not registered here?” Cub lifted himself, holding a brick that revealed a gaping hole underneath the building. “What if we're just simply wanderers with no true meaning to this place?”

“We'd still be people, hun.” Scott said flatly.

“Not in this place. I think this is an entirely different world compared to, well, Earth.” Cub grabbed a coin out of his pocket, and he dropped it into the abyss.

“Scar, do you perceive things differently than normal people?” He looked up at me. I couldn't help but think that this situation is way too serious for a random questionnaire I've had billions of times when I was younger.

The answer is yes.

It's always yes.

“When I was, like, six, my mom found me digging at the ground. It's ‘cause I heard some rattling, and I wanted to free the thing that was suffering. When I finally did, it was a skeleton monster! She grabbed me and pulled me away, told me never to do that again.” I started, “That those things are dangerous, that my father would be back and he would never want to see me playing with creatures I can't define.”

“I mean, a skeleton monster is pretty much accurate.” Grian laughed, “Wait, you don't know your dad?”

“Nope!” I smiled, “Always asked, was told he died.”

“...So how would he be back?” Scott squinted. “We had a ouija board in our house, although it's only for eight year olds and older, and I was barely able to simply sleep on my own.” I sighed.

But, the presence of the board didn't scare me knowing what it did. I quite like the idea of ghosts, and I know we had some in our house. They slept in the corners, watched me do my chores, and stared at me when my health declined.

Not much they could've done anyhow.

I felt my hands clenching on my legs, and I released them. “Uh… I never believed that. There was no grave we visited. Ever. She just said it like it was a fact from years ago.”

Cub nodded, then we heard the coin ding and slam itself into what sounded like concrete. I glanced at the floor. “What was that?!” I press my hands to the wheels of my chair. “Cub?!”

“I heard what I needed to hear.” He smiled, then simply disappeared.

We all stared where he left. “UGH! CUB!” Grian grabbed a knot of his own hair and tugged, but not pulling anything out. I gazed at the underground, and I swear I felt a calling.

Like I needed to be somewhere.

That's when the stupid butler grabbed all of us and dragged us out. “I do believe your time here is over, thank you for being so kind.” He shoved us out the door. I locked my chair and looked around, frozen.

“Where's Cub?! WHERE'S IMPULSE YOU–” Grian grabbed Gem and pulled her aside. She'd been yelling at the guy the whole time we were getting kicked out. I had no idea there was another person with them that had gone missing.

I had a theory, but it wasn't so friendly.

And I swear I could see that guy in a different form now that I had been placed outdoors.

He was tall, almost goopy, and I swear he had one giant eye in the middle of his face that stared deeply into your soul.

Normally I saw him as just this generic black-haired guy. He had this way about him that felt, well, casual yet business.

Like he was familiar with you but he didn't want to get fired.

I covered my face with my hands. Just thinking about my mother made me realize something.

“Guys, what year is it?” My tired eyes felt like they were dragging on the ground. I could just feel the hot pavement scraping my eyelids.

“...Scar, it's 2025.” Grian said.

“...Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

I stared at the outdoors, and felt like I'd been through multiple disasters at once.

“It was just a week…”

But now I realize how much time I truly spent there. And it doesn't make me too glad to know it.

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osarina · 3 months ago

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Wait rina omg.. so I was listening to Margaret right and, was looking up the meaning for the song AND SOMETHING HIT ME!!

first, it was the fact that the song was made for (and features) Jack Antonoff based on his personal life. And that really had me thinking about the line **"He met Margaret on a rooftop, she was wearin' white. And he was like 'I might be in trouble' He had flashes of the good life, He was like, 'Should I jump off this building now, or do it on the double?'"**

Which I actually couldn't find anything about Jack but, (I think you know where this is going hehe) you know who it does relate to? *our beautiful pm!reader and dazai..*

So here's my thoughts on each line..

**"He met Margaret on a rooftop, she was wearin' white."**— Instead of them meeting, this honestly reminds me of 'A sky full of stars'. I think it's kinda symbolized as pm!reader really met her love for Dazai; which was on a rooftop! As many know White usually symbolizes purity, perfection, honesty, cleanliness, and beginnings, which is exactly what happens; Dazai is panicking, he needs to *perfect* himself, *clean* himself from the old bandages, then he has to be honest with himself due to the fact that this can be about him right now, *purifying* him from his dark mindset at the moment, and pm!reader finds a new *beginning* with her love for him.

**"And he was like I might be in trouble."** — For this one, I'd like to think of Either: Some times all I think about is you, or You and me, but I'm really leaning towards You and me. This is mostly because she feels so terrible about her actions and how she made Dazai act and feel, knowing that when she confronts him she'll be in trouble.

**"He had flashes of a good life, He was like, 'Should I jump off this building now, or do it on the double?'"** — This one really has me thinking of just Dazai in general.. and also I laugh like me again, Maybe both. I say this because in I laugh like me again, Dazai realizes that there's a (big) chance that they can have a good relationship, or life together again, even though the circumstances are extremely different, but it's still (very) possible. The last part is just Dazai and double suicide so, yk..

OKAY SO NOW THE SECOND PART! I also discovered that Margaret was actually written for Jacks wife *Margaret*, and the song was in fact their Wedding song, AND I KNOW YOU HINTED IT (or confirmed it) THAT DAZAI AND PM!READER WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING RIGHT???? so is this their happy ending...? Happily married? (⁠⊙⁠_⁠◎⁠)

anyways thanks for listening to another one of my long analysis (I still need to do Wasteland omg..) again and I hope you like it!!

(also I'm so sorry if the format looks weird I forgot how to work Tumblr formats..)

OMGGGGGG GET OUT OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE A FIC LITERALLY BASED ON THOSE FIRST LYRICS JDFHASUIHFASUIDHFHUSD IT'S THE ONE THAT'S ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT IN A SKY FULL OF STARS - the first time they're on the rooftop together, it's a week or two after dazai officially started his invasion of her apartment and he's on the roof considering jumping in the middle of the night. she was sleeping and woke up and had a bad feeling so went looking for him and found him up there. and i think the lyrics "i might be in trouble" also fit here because later on, dazai acknowledges that this was when he first started falling for her ... i thought it was sweet if they both started falling each other in the same spot under similar but different circumstances </3

ALOSOOOOOOOL ASDFUHASUFASUDFS HOLD ON THE "he had flashes of a good life, should i jump off this building now or do it on the double" ... hear me out, it also fits post-defectionzai in death by a thousand cuts and know its for the better with him considering the what ifs (what if he didn't leave her behind? what if he asked her to come? what if he stayed with her?)

they do in fact have a happy ending <3 i PROMISEEEE pmreader universe will be the only one that doesn't end in tragedy, cross my heart and hope to die

#ᡣ𐭩 carina’s love letters #ᡣ𐭩 from user: scarlettcherrii #ᡣ𐭩 pmreader universe

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eoieopda · 2 years ago

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[2k drabblepalooza] — CLOSED AS OF 4/14/23

this is belated because i wanted to hammer out some wips first, but now i have writer’s block, so the time has come for….

⭐️ a lil milestone event ⭐️

it’s been almost five months (to the day!) since i started this blog, and y’all have truly been a saving grace at a sad/bad/weird time of my life. in celebration of, well, you, i’m going to be re-opening my requests ❗️solely for this purpose❗️

unlike my 1k drabblepalooza, this event isn’t centered around songs that you submit. this time, i am giving myself the challenge of wrecking your bias 👀

so, what does that mean for you? great question — thanks for asking!

on or off anon, give me: the bts member you tend to see/read the fewest fics about + your favorite fanfic trope* examples include: only one bed, forced proximity, fake dating, cuddling for warmth, etc.

rules & limitations

your request must follow the theme ☝🏻

member x reader only — sorry!

unless i’m told otherwise, i tend to write gn!reader. please specify a preference if you have one.

i’m willing to do most tropes; however, i reserve the right to pass on something if i’m not interested in it, don’t feel qualified to write it, can’t make it work in drabble format, or if i’ve already done that trope with that member too many times.

you can absolutely include details about the scenario you have in mind! if not, i’ll just wing it, lol.

unless i’m told otherwise, requests will not include smut.

my blog is 18+ as is, but if your request involves smut, you absolutely must 1) request off anon, or 2) PM me so i can verify that you are indeed old enough to ride this ride!

i will get to these requests as i have time & brain juice. please, please, please do not ask if i got it, if i’m done yet, when xyz will be posted. that’s a major turn off 🙅🏻‍♀️

i do not write: a/b/o, sex pollen (because i don’t fully understand it tbh,) hybrid, fantasy, anything non-con or involving minors.

there’s currently no deadline for submissions, but i will eventually become overwhelmed and close my requests again. you’ll know when i do!

❗️please read this before submitting ❗️

my requests are only open for purposes of this event. please don’t just submit whatever it is you want. i will be deleting requests that do not follow the theme & rules! the point of this challenge is to deal with what i think is a weeeeee bit of over-saturation. i want bangtan on equal-footing as far as content goes, so i will be mindful of that as i choose requests to fill.

phew! 😮‍💨 okay. now that that’s all sorted….

thank you! i love you! happy hunger games, sweet beans! 💕

#jade’s requests #jade’s drabbles #2k drabblepalooza #hi welcome to chilis

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avemstella · 2 years ago

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Tumblr only just showed me that @ksjundel2003 tagged me with this just now, as technology does. I'll always take the chance to ramble (also thank u for the compliment ahhh :D). These ended up being essays hahahaaaha

1. Three Ships: Uhhh so I'm in a weird place where I'm not actively shipping anything. Like don't get me wrong I still love many ships (I'm a super multi shipper, I have no idea how people dedicate their online everything to one ship) I'm just currently not actively pursuing certain ship tags rn... Hmm hxh's return reminded me of how much I love Leopika, I got into fe3h in this last year and I've read a silly amount of dimiclaude. Also finally got around to getting into mp100 and Terumob is so cute.

Genshin thats what people are here for but if I'm honest while I still am very into the game, I haven't read genshin fic consistently for a while and thats how I interact with shipping the most. Like I love Chili, theres a reason I have plans for that ship, but I haven't read a fic with them in forever (and in the more recent examples it was me searching for found fam harb content). I also adore Kaebedo but same story. I love a lot of genshin ships, many 'contradictory' (love Zhongven as well for example), I just haven't been brainrotting about any of them for a while. God that sounds so morose pfft, its really me just letting my brain take a break and experience other things! Also just know I do think about the final planned Zhongli and Childe scene in this fic (well for the main fic at least) every once in a while and grin like a loon. Hehehe I love it so much and rip its so far away (though also once I get there it'll be right near the end and that thought makes me sad).

Also I think about my fic specific ships a lot too. Sandy and Nella for example have a scene that brings me much amusement in a couple chapters (those 2 always bring me joy). Also I've been recently thinking about the ot3 that's a big old spoiler. There's this angsty but also hopeful romantic scene that's been banging around in my head that I literally can't use in my fic it doesn't work with the timeline. But I love it, maybe an eventual bonus chap. (all I'll say on this ot3 is that at least 1 person is a harb). And taras x any harb that isn't his bro, my favorite running gag I take too seriously. Also Madame Volkov x Tsar, I can't wait to reveal why that ship cracks me up (also weirdly angsty).

uhhh that was way too long of an answer um sorry.

2. First ever ship: God I don't know. Probably amuto from Shugo Chara (I was elementary/middle school, the age gap did not clock as weird then). However my first ship with taste was Soulsilvershipping from pokemon (god we need to bring back that ship name format, so fun). I didn't have fictional crushes the same way most seemed to, however what was close enough was Silver Pokemon my beloved. He spawned my love of grumpy long haired red heads so when I saw Diluc for the first time I remember going fuck I'm gonna love him (and I did haha).

3. Last song: uhhh fun fact I'm not a music person at all. As a child I hated it pfft, while I grew out of that I still have no idea what I'm doing with it. 90% of the music I listen to is from animatics (and back in the day from amvs) or musicals because plot. And u know u find a lot of musicals because of animatics its a cycle. However saying that I was listening to Ricky Montgomery, idk why.

4. Last movie: my parents were like we're watching a movie as a fam and in true Christmas spirit we watched Top Gun Maverick pfft. tbh the movie was fine but not the stunning piece of cinema everyone seemed to be saying... also super military propaganda but we all knew that

5. Currently reading? I'm catching up on the Ascendance of a Bookworm Light Novels (I'm on the last book in part 4 and I have part 5 #1 ready). I've also been really slowly reading through (and got back into after almost a year accidental break) Lout of the Counts Family. Also hunter x hunter (my brain is filled with Sheila theories, despite being the Harbinger found fam fic writer I don't care about the troop lol, just Sheila). I also have some DC comics open in my tabs because I want to watch the newest comicpop back issues episode. Its sort of strange I've been on a reading fan fic break of sorts haha, reading lots of original stuff.

6. Currently watching? uhhhh Mob Psycho though that just ended. Also me and my sis are watching Miraculous together. We used to watch it years ago and we are watching all the stuff we missed and cringing. I also am constantly watching lots of video essays, love a good video essay to put on while doing other things like playing genshin/art/etc

7. Currently consuming? We have a holiday party every year and my dad makes his amazing to die for lasagna (we are not remotely italian, but everyone we know says its amazing). So I've been eating those leftovers and having a time.

8. Currently craving? validation uhhh free time maybe. I had so much free time while I was away at school (well more like I should have been working on stuff time, but it was time I could organize myself). I'm home and between Christmas and parties and my grandparents/Cousins/feels like everyone visiting I've had no time for myself. I love seeing my cute baby cousins I don't get to see too often but its a lot. Also a job, I don't want to have to job but it'll get my mother off my case.

Well that ended on a too serious note haha. Also this was way too long and I have no idea who to tag and I'm anxious so uh, no one I guess. I must now return to my chaotic life, as one does.

#avem rambling #avem's asks #i'll count this as an ask #this was very top heavy but its fine lol #my complicated shipping thoughts #also if anyone wants to contribute to this go ahead!#I just have always been terrible at tagging people in these sorts of things #I'm also just bad at engaging with people over the internet in general...#despite the fact that I sounded sort of distressed at the end #I really did enjoy doing this!#it was fun I just get a bit too honest sometimes lol

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inmydr3amz · 3 months ago

Text

✮ AS SICK AS IT SOUNDS, I LOVED YOU FIRST ✮

🇨🇦🇸🇸 🇦🇳🇩 🇾🇴-🇾🇴🇯🇮

✦ synopsis: in which cass sees yo-yoji for the first time in a year

⟡ series: fics inspired by song lyrics

✦ lyric prompt: "you were the best, you were the worst, as sick as it sounds, I love you first, I was a dick, it is what it is, a habit to kick, the age old curse"- I love you, I'm sorry, gracie abrams.

⟡ content warnings: none just angst and comfort!

✦ word count: 3,011

✮⋆ a/n: i see them everywhere all the time time i need these books to be adapted into movies or a show istg. also sorry for weird formatting i dont have a laptop rn so i had to do this on my phone!! ⋆✮

They didn't stop hanging out for any particular reason. It wasn't sudden; there was no fight. They just faded, gradually, when minutes in between messages turned to hours turned to days turned to weeks turned to their last messages without them even realizing. When seeing each other at Terces meetings turned to never at all because Pietro was gone and there were no Midnight Sun updates. When Yo-Yoji backpacked through Europe with his family for a summer and he stopped sending post cards by the third week. When he moved across town just before Freshman Year started and enrolled in a different high school. Like they never knew each other at all.

"—OK, but, objectively—" Cass begins.

"You're using the term 'objective' very loosely and very, very incorrectly here," Max-Ernest says.

"My opinions are always objective," She throws in as an offhand comment before continuing, brushing him off. "Anyways, objectively, Spider-Man is the best superhero."

"Nope. Wrong. It's Ant-Man," Daniel says.

Cass gives him a look. "Of all the superheroes yo choose, you pick Ant-Man?"

"You wouldn't know how cool Ant-Man is; you haven't read all the comics."

"And you have?"

She stumps him. "Well, no—" he stutters, and she laughs.

Cass and Daniel started reading Marvel comic books together after he got her hooked with the latest Spider-Man movie, and even though he's probably read hundreds and she's only read maybe 10, she's adamant that Spider-Man is the all-time best superhero (which he is).

"It's called The Amazing Spider-Man for a reason."

He rolls his eyes. "You can't use the mkvied as an argument if you've literally only seen one."

"Oh, whatever. You know I'm right."

He does. He just wanted to argue because what else are (step) brothers for, right?

"This seems like kind of an unfair argument. You're not even taking DC into account. Batman is awesome," Glob says. They're coming up on their lockers now.

Cass scoffs. "You're automatically wrong if you're trying to compare DC to Marvel."

She and Daniel laugh as Glob angrily rambles about how DC is as good as Marvel and how it's his opinion and it's as valid as hers. She twists her combination into her lock; Max-Ernest distractedly does the same next to her, invested deeply in a book on the history of Mayan civilizations.

"Come on, play nice. What's in it for me?" It comes from down the hallway. She'd recognize that voice anywhere.

She's the first one to react, her head snapping up. A wave of panic washes over her as she sees him. A mad sense of danger hits her—they're strangers now. A stranger she knows everything about. Her chest is tight. Her heart hurts.

"Is that Yo-Yoji?" Her voice is even but her face is almost terrified. It's fight or flight but he's got her uncharacteristically frozen. She leapt into action confronted with lions but loses all sense of reality seeing him again.

Daniel looks up now. "Holy shit, it is! Haven't seen him in, what—?"

"A year," Cass finishes, still staring at Yo-Yoji like she's staring at a car crash. He's got his hands in his pockets as he looks down at a girl, smiling as she talks. His hair is it's natural black again with green angel ring highlights. "Who's that girl with him?" Just as she asks that, he leans down and kisses her. She swallow down the acidic taste of vomit in the back of her throat.

"Looks like his girlfriend," Max-Ernest says, finally putting his book away.

Glob peeks past everyone. "Call him over." He starts waving his hands. "Hey, Yo-Yoji!" he calls.

Yo-Yoji glances up. There's an amused look on his face at first and he waves back. Then his eyes find Cass'. His hand goes limp; his wave slows. He's not even quite sure what he's feeling, or why he's surprised to see her with her friendgroup. They didn't break apart—he broke apart from them.

He says something to his girlfriend and then he's walking towards them. He feels heavy under the weight of Cass' eyes tracking him the whole time. "Hey, guys!" he says. "Hey, Cass." His voice is softer.

She doesn't reply, keeps staring, face tense. He feels lanky and awkward, wipes his clammy hands on his jeans.

"How've you been, Yo-Yoji?" Max-Ernest asks.

"I don't go by 'Yo-Yoji' anymore, actually. It's just 'Yoji'."

Cass rolls her eyes. "Of course you do," she spits. To her, it's like he's turning his back on their past, on who they were. Like saying he's too good for it all now. Maybe that's why he left them.

His chest tightens, his lungs sort of just . . . stop. He feels hollow; she shelled him out.

An uncomfortable silence settles over the moment. It's unbearably loud, like water pressure, or nails on a chalkboard.

He swallows. "So, um . . . how've you—" Cass slams her locker close, her jaw clenched, and pushes past him with enough force he stumbles back. His eyes follow her, watching her leave. He sighs. "I'm not exactly surprised but . . . why is she so pissed at me?"

Daniel shrugs. "No clue."

Yoji looks over at Max-Ernest expectantly. Max-Ernest's face goes red. "What?"

Yoji widens his eyes, making an exasperated face. ". . . Well? Do you know?"

"No?" It comes out as more of a question.

"You're her best friend. You know her better than anyone."

"I've never know why Cass does anything she does. She's just . . . Cass."

★

It gets tired and old very quickly, trying to get her to talk to him. He waits outside her classes, follows her to her locker, begs and pleads and tries to carry conversations and all she does is keep quiet and state right through him. He even sat down at their lunch table with his girlfriend when Glob called him over but she stood and left instantly, and so Daniel followed after her, and Yoji glumly picked at his food, feeling defeated.

Cass is in her bed now, sitting cross-legged. Daniel is spinning in her wheelie chair but he stops pretty quickly because it makes him motion sick. It's 11:00 PM.

"What's with you and Yoji?" he asks, messing with a news article on her wall of horrors.

She makes a face at the lack of the extra "Yo" in his name. "Nothing," She says, maybe more aggressively than she intended.

"Sureeee," he drags out, "that's why you wouldn't talk to him all day, right?"

"It's just—ughhh." She groans and flips back on her bed.

"He hasn't done anything wrong. It wouldn't kill you to be nice, you know. Or, like, normal, at the very least."

"He's been back one day and you're already defending him over me? Your sister?"

He bites back a laugh. "How come I'm only your brother when it's convenient?"

She sees an out now. "'Cause you don't think Spider-Man is the best superhero."

"Don't change the subject." She sighs, rolls her eyes.

Then there's a tap on her window. And another. And another. She sits up. "What the fuck?" She pushes off her bed and walks to her window, pushes it open, leans out. "Ow! she exclaims. A pebble, square in between her eyes, like Goliath.

"Shit, sorry!"

She looks down. It's Yo-Yoji. Her stomach feels unsettled. "Jesus! Stalker, much?"

"Can we talk?"

"No." She starts to walk away despite Daniel quietly protesting.

"Please, Cass—" His voice cracks and she freezes in her tracks. He takes in a deep breath to regain his composure. "Please, just talk to me."

She comes back to the window, hands on the sill. She drops her head, licks her lip. She can't bring herself to meet his eyes as she says, "Fine. I'll be down." She turns around to walk out her door and finds Daniel smiling ear-to-ear all giddy. She rolls her eyes. "Shut up."

★

A gust of wind hits her as she open the sliding glass door. She tucks herself deep into her sweater and stuffs her hands into her pockets. Yo-Yoji's standing there awkwardly, staring at his feet as he shuffles them.

"What do you want?" she asks. Her face is straight if not tense but her fingernails are digging into her palms in her pockets and her heart is beating so fast.

His head snaps up; there's hope on his face and she has to twist her head away to not let that look affect her.

"To talk."

"You said that already." She's still not looking at him.

He let's out a heavy sigh, drags his hands down his face. "Cass, please. What did I do that was so wrong? You're the only one that's even mad at me!"

She's tensing up now, and it's building up inside her like a slow drip. Her stomach twists. Her ears are turning red. She crosses her arms and grasps them right. He's still rambling; the anger is still filling her like an overflowing sink.

"You're ignoring like we never knew each other at all—"

"You left!" she finally snaps. Her arms go flailing out and she turns to look at him. "I'm angry because you left! You stopped texting. You went to Europe without saying anything, left two postcards from France and then disappeared. You left! You left me!"

Silence washes over them, wind rustling trees in the background. She's staring through him again and he can't decide if her prefers that or her not looking at him at all.

"You didn't text me either," he says after a few moments.

Silence again.

There are tears welling in her eyes. "Is she your girlfriend?"

His face twists in confusion. "What?"

"That girl you were with. Is she your girlfriend?"

Yo-Yoji chews on the inside of his cheek. "Yes," he breathes.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, tongues the inside of her cheek. She scoffs—it's almost a laugh. "What am I even doing here?" It's a whisper, mostly to herself. She begins to turn to leave.

He reaches out and grabs her wrist to stop her. "Cass, don't go. I lost you once, I can't lose you again."

She scoffs. "You didn't lose me." There's almost a sliver of hope on his face. "You left." She rips her hand from his. His face drops. A tear rolls down her cheeks.

He's taking in shaky breaths. His eyes search her face for any inclination as to what she's feeling under her constant cold exterior of anger. "Why do you care so much if Grace is my girlfriend?"

She looks away, moonlight bouncing off her skin in a blue-ish glow as she looks at the trees lining the wall along her backyard. "I don't."

He makes an exasperated face. "Yes, you do! You obviously do! You can't even look at me! We don't see each other for a year and the thing you're all upset about is my girlfriend? That's such bullshit! What, do you just not like her or something? 'Cause that would be totally unfair since you've never even me—"

"You were mine first!" she snaps. She'd chewed on the inside of her cheek so hard she swore she drew blood. It was too much to keep inside anymore. And now it was out, heavy in between them, hanging cold and still like the moon in the inky black sky.

Yo-Yoji stills. Crouches back. Blinks. Breathes. Opens his mouth to speak. Falls short. Cass' heart rattles up her throat; he looks like he's short-circuiting. "What?" he whispers. "I—what? You . . . you liked me?"

She shrugs, shrinking into herself. ". . . Yeah," she says, voice trembling.

His vision is going blurry with tears. "Wh—" He rolls his lips into his mouth. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"And get rejected and ruin our friendship?"

His expression is soft and sad, defeated. ". . . I liked you back."

Her chest hollows out as the ever familiar feeling of nausea twists itself into a dizzying coil in her stomach. Another tears slips as she shakes her head slowly and clenched her jaw. Her eyes are mean, betrayed. "You liked me?!" She means it to come out angry but instead it comes out in trembling, astonished gasps, almost sobs. "How long?"

He smiles sadly. "The three point rule."

She takes in a bitter, shuddering breath. The three point rule. They were 12. "And you didn't say anything?!" she all but yells, voice squeaking.

"I thought you knew!" His voice goes quiet, gentle, unsteady. "I thought you knew, Cass."

He watches pain crods her face before it scrunches up and she dips her head, index finger and thumb spread across her eyes. She let's out a broken sob. He feels compelled to hold her but can't bring himself to even move. She takes in a deep breath and wipes away her tears, looks up at him strongly. "Go home, Yoji."

She's turning around and walking away when he grabs her wrist hard and pulls her back, spinning her back around. "What the—" Her protests are muffled against the pressure of his kiss.

She's stiff for a second from the shock before she's loosening up and melting into him as his hands hold either side of her face tenderly. Her hands lay flat against his chest.

The pull away is slow and delicate. He follows her the entire way and breathes her in before she stumbles back, dazed and lightheaded. He drops his hands awkwardly to his sides and she stuffs her hands back into her pockets. She gulps then laughs. He grins, looking down at her warmly.

"Um . . . it's"—Cass' ears are reddening, stuttered breathless laughing coming in between words—"it's getting late. I should, you know, head back inside . . ."

Yo-Yoji nods. "I'll text you!"

She nods meekly and heads for the door. He watches her leave, doesn't himself until she's back inside and has closed the sliding door, 'til he can't see her anymore.

★

"What's he saying?" Daniel asks excitedly, practically jumping on top of Cass to try and read the texts over her shoulder.

"Ow, get off!" she whisper-yells, rolling over to lay on her back instead of her stomach to get him off her.

It's 1 AM. They're in Daniel's room because he has the cool LED straps running along his floorboards, currently purple.

"He said—hey!" He snatches the phone from her hands and she instantly shoots up. "What the fuck, dude?!"

He ignores her, reading aloud. "'If I'm being honest, I never did get over you. I don't think I ever could.' Oh my god." He looks up at her, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god?!" he repeats.

She huffs and rolls her eyes, takes her phone back, all with an attitude. But her ears are red and her stomach is fluttering. She chews her lip in concentration as she types her reply. She hits send after editing her message a few times.

"Ok, I said—" Her breath hitches in her throat as Yo-Yoji's response comes in almost instantly. "I can't say it out loud." She sticks her phone out for Daniel to read himself. He leans forward and squints his eyes past the bright light of her phone screen.

survivor3000: u don't mean that. u go with grace and stuff. u had to meet other girls u liked more.

guitarsamurai: i already broke up with grace. i could never like anyone more than i like you. i never could've seen u coming. i think ure everything ive wanted. i want to be with u cass. like really be with u. i wanna be ur boyfriend. is that ok?

Daniel's wide eyes flicker from the screen to her to the screen to her again. "Oh my god! You're gonna say yes, right?"

★

It's the next day. Cass and Daniel are exhausted. Max-Ernest is going on about the health benefits of a good night's sleep and why they should've gone to bed earlier. They're at their lockers.

"Max-Ernest, we get it!" Cass complains, yawns as she shuts her locker close and presses her head against it.

Max-Ernest makes a face. "I was just trying to tell you that it's really important you sleep well, especially being a survivalist, and—"

She sighs. "I know, Max-Ernest. Thank you, I appreciate it, that's enough now," she says, taking a softer approach. She turns around and gives him a tired smile. "I don't need a lecture. I need, like, speed, or something."

"I need to die," Daniel mutters, resting his head on Cass' shoulder. His eyelids are heavy and he can barely keep his eyes open.

"Do you want some?" Glob offers a sip of his energy drink with way too much sugar and even more caffeine—definitely more than a regular coffee.

Cass scrunches her face in disgust. "I'll pass." Daniel, on the other hand, all but lunges towards it. She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Is this better? It's just iced coffee. No extra anything 'cause I know you wanna avoid weird chemicals and stuff." He looks to her right: it's Yo-Yoji offering her a coffee cup with her name on it. Literally.

"Lifesaver," she mumbles sleepily, taking it and then a sip. Yo-Yoji throws his arm around her shoulder, pulls her into him to kiss her temple.

Max-Ernest stares wide-eyed and mouth agape. Blinks. "What the fuck."

Cass smirks to herself. "What?"

"When did this happen?!"

"Last night. Long story," Daniel answers, arguing with Glob over the energy drink. Max-Ernest looks even more confused. Yo-Yoji laughs but doesn't say anything, covers it up by taking a sip of his coffee which does have extra sweeteners and artificial flavors because he doesn't care about weird chemicals and stuff.

"Are we really gonna keep pretending we're surprised? They've been a 'will they, won't they?' since middle school," Glob chimes in.

Max-Ernest brushes the comment off. "What is the point of being your best friend if you won't tell me things like this?!"

Cass smiles as he keeps rambling on and on, Yo-Yoji's hand on her shoulder tracing idle circles. Everything feels like it's back to normal.

#the secret series #cass the secret series #yo-yoji the secret series #max-ernest the secret series #cass and yoyoji #tss #my babies #like my literal children #gracie abrams #i love you im sorry #tsou #the secret of us

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chaoscriess · 2 years ago

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hey sorry to disturb but can you maybe do a one-shot of maddyxreader where she doesn't like not eeceiving attention from -reader-? Thanks and have a great morning,after noon or night!

absolutely! I love this idea! sorry it took so long! not exactly what you asked, but I tried! got a bit carried away though. I've recently changed my preferences on writing gn reader for the girls, and I've decided that I'll only write wlw/gxg fics for female characters. thank you for understanding.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! arguing, angst, maddy and reader being dumb and not communicating, some infidelity? maddy is kinda

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended. mentions of the song michelle by sir chloe!!! love that song.

maddy x fem!reader

you and maddy had been together for a while.

9 months, one week, and 5 days, to be exact.

you knew she was yours, you knew she would never do anything to hurt you

maddy was the same, as far as you knew

but one day, when you two were at the mall near your house, you ran into an old friend

"oh my god, y/n?! is that you?" you looked around, initially not seeing anyone you knew, but stopping when you saw a taller man that you recognized. his name was caleb, and you knew him for 7 years before he moved away. you smiled brightly before quickly walking towards him and embracing him in a tight hug. "oh my god, I never thought I'd see you again, caleb!" he smiled at you and hugged you tightly, rubbing your back slightly. "yeah well," he paused, pulling away and shifting his feet, looking to the ground sadly, "my mom got sick and my dad got into a pretty mad accident at work so now I'm here. I have to take care of both of them for a while before I can get out of here again."

you smile at him before laughing softly and shaking your head. "yeah, hopefully I'll be out of here too, pretty soon." he smiled at you and placed his hand on your shoulder. "maybe we can go together!" you chuckled at his words and muttered a 'yeah yeah', dismissing his flirty behavior. "well, I have to go, my girlfriend's waiting for me". you watched his face drop slightly as you turned around and made your way to maddy, laughing at the man.

you saw the look on maddy's unhappy face, and your smile turned into a concerned frown. "what's wrong, babe?" she rolled her eyes and turned around, leaving you standing there confused as she walked away.

maddy was super clingy for a couple days. holding onto you wherever you went, whining when you pulled away from her, and yelling at you when you called her clingy. "well If it weren't for you eye fucking that caleb guy!"

you got into a fight about it, you told her you were laughing at him for flirting with you, and she told you that she wouldn't doubt it if you had been in love with him when you were younger and still loved him.

you definitely didnt, he wasnt your type.. like, at all.

you tried to tell her that you only loved her, that you were head over heels for her and you'd never leave her, but she didnt believe you.

she stopped begging you for affection and attention, instead showing up at all the parties you went to and getting affection and attention by dancing with other people. you were upset, obviously, you two never broke up, you weren't even on a break.

you ignored her attempts to make you jealous, sitting on the couch with fezco, high as heaven, instead of giving her the attention she wanted.

you could tell she was upset, but you did nothing wrong.

right?

right.

anyways,

it was midnight. you watched maddy dance with a girl named michelle. that girl was a monster from hell, she'd hated you since you got with maddy, you always knew she liked her. you were the first girl maddy had been with, and the one that made her realize she liked girls. it broke your heart to see her dance with michelle. you sighed and looked down at the joint in your hand before taking one last hit and handing it to fezco, standing up and walking to maddy. you smiled when you saw maddy look at you with a smile on her face, but your bright smile was replaced with a look of anger and hurt when you saw her grab michelle's hand and lead her to an empty room.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you quickly walked towards maddy and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from an angry michelle. "y/n, what the hell?! what are you doing?" you scoffed at the dark haired girl and dragged her out of the house, into your car. "what the fuck maddy? what was that?" she looked at you weird, like you were speaking a foreign language. "what was what? I was just dancing." you scoffed, chuckling lightly, you were really getting pissed off.

"maddy, that wasnt dancing, she was all over you. why were you even going into that room?" maddy sighed and looked down before speaking. "I asked her for help.. we were trying to make you jealous. youve been ignoring me, so.. I thought it would be a good idea." you frowned at her and shook your head. "maddy, why the hell would that be a good idea?!" you looked at her and you immediately felt bad for yelling at her.

"I dont know! I just.. missed you, I guess. I felt like you didnt care about me anymore.." you felt tears well up in your eyes, why the hell were you crying? wait, was maddy crying too? shit. "maddy, of course I still care about you! I'm fucking in love with you, for christ's sake!" your eyes widened, you had never said that out loud before. she looked up at you with wide eyes, they were red from crying. "oh, maddy.." you put your hands on her cheeks and kissed her gently, swiping away her tears with your thumbs, before pulling away and leaning your forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry... I should have talked to you about it instead of going to michelle." you pulled away, shook your head and let out a quiet 'no'. you couldn't stay mad at her. "it's fine, I'm not mad anymore. are you alright? I didnt mean to yell at you.." she sniffled and nodded. "and.. y/n?" you looked up at her in anticipation before she continued speaking. "I love you too."

in the end, you and maddy got over it.

this actually helped the two of you, in a way

you were more trusting, more honest

and you didnt get jealous every time one of you talked to someone.

#chaos calling!#maddy perez x reader #maddy perez #maddy perez fic #maddy x reader #euphoria x reader

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pappydaddy · 3 years ago

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paper rings (s.s.)

a/n: i ended up having to repost this entire fic (bummer) because tumbleweed acted like it was invisible the first time.... so, this is the main one. i will leave the originally posted one up, but there will be a line through it so there is no confusion. to sum this up: yes, i know this has been posted twice :) this is inspired by all the tik tok videos about making paper rings and (of course) the taylor song. i just so soft when it comes to this song so i obviously had to write something for it. anywho, i hope you love this (second) surprise fic lovelies💛! wish this post luck lovelies! hopefully it is actually seen this time. but, nonetheless, i hope you lovelies like it💛!

p.s. the tumbleweed app won't let me add a keep reading cut off and this app has made my blood pressure increase. also, spacing is weird - sorry.

pairing: stiles stilinski x fem!reader tv show/movie: teen wolf not requested summary: harris’ detention does not have the effect he wanted on stiles and y/n. warnings: n/a - fluff, spacing is off but that's formatting taglist: @rottenstyx |@boxofsilentwords masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation - not my gif -

Y/N never expected herself to be here. She hadn't expected to be in yet another detention with Mr. Harris, the purely evil chemistry teacher of Beacon Hills High. However, despite the unplanned event, she didn't seem to mind it as long as Stiles Stilinski was beside her. The dorky, clumsy, adorable son of the sheriff that occupied the lab stool beside her just so happened to be her boyfriend. Something else that was purely accidental.

Before they had started dating, they had been friends - strictly friends. Suddenly, but not surprisingly, their friendship had evolved after years of pining and suffering. But now, here she sat in the empty chemistry lab, her eyes closed, her back straight as she could hear the hurried and frantic folding of paper. "Stiles," A giggle slipped past her overly glossed lips as she resisted the urge to open her eyes and separate her finger to get a peek at what he was doing. "You have to hurry, Harris isn't going to take thirty years in the principal's office."

"Just a few more seconds-" She could hear the concentration in his voice as he grunted. "Shit," He exclaimed. He shuffled around. "Okay, maybe a few more minutes." He corrected. Y/N let out a mock sigh, but the large smile on her face never left. It was possibly the best accident that ever happened to her. In fact, becoming Stiles' girlfriend was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Sure, when they were friends, they shared laughs and such, but since they started dating, it seemed that she couldn't wipe the joyful and happy glow from her face. It lit up her face twenty-four seven. "Seriously, Stiles! We're gonna get in more trouble if he walks in and we're not doing our work!" She urged him, but she secretly wished he wouldn't hurry.

"Hold your pretty little horses, would ya? I'm almost done," He informed her. She rolled her eyes.

"Just so you know, I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now," She commented, knowing he couldn't see the action that was hidden behind her closed eyelids and flattened hands. He made a noise before cheering out in celebration. "Well, that sounds good."

"Just shut up and open your eyes," Despite his words, she could hear the soft tone and dopey smile. Somehow, her smile grew as her hands slipped off her face. Hear heart fluttered with excitement, making her tuck her bottom lip between her teeth. Stiles was surprisingly romantic, whatever he was going to show her was bound to make her heart explode from pure happiness. "Hurry up and open your damn eyes, you were literally just harping at me about taking a long time."

Failing to hold back her even bigger smile, she finally fluttered her eyes open. Immediately, her eyes met the hypnotizing, whiskey-coloured eyes. Noting her inability to pull her gaze away, he lifted his hand, bringing her attention to what he wanted to show her. There, pinched between the pad of his thumb and pointer finger sat a ring made out of looseleaf. "Stiles-" She breathed. She was right, her heart was going to explode right then and there.

"It's a paper ring," He exclaimed proudly, extending the ring towards her with his other hand presenting it. "It's not much, and I know you really like shiny stuff, but you just look so pretty right now, I couldn't help but make you one." He explained, grabbing her left hand and slipping the ring on her ring finger.

"I love it, Stiles," She reassured him, fluttering her fingers as she gawked at it. "Just like I love you." She added in, flicking her eyes up to meet his again. His pupils expanded to the point Y/N feared they would be stuck like that.

His sneaker squeaked against the metal bar of the stool when he almost nose-dived off it. "You love me," He whispered back in disbelief. She nodded, a sheepish smile on her face as she glanced back down at the ring again. "That's the first time we've said that." He remarked, still stunned. His mouth hung open as he blinked at her.

"Yeah, it is," She confirmed with an awkward head bob. "That's why it would be spectacular if you would maybe either say something about it or forget I said it in general?"

"You want me to forget that the woman I love loves me back?" He questioned, a smile lighting up his face. Now it was Y/N's pupils that expanded to a worrying point. Stiles' hands slipped along her jaw, pulling her face gently towards him gently until their breaths fanned against each other's lips, making their eyes flutter closed.

Just as their lips were about to meet in a sweet kiss to cement this blissful moment in both their memories, the door to the lab opened again, the storming sound of Harris' dress shoes hitting the tile entering the room. "Okay, you delinquents, your small taste of freedom is over. Back to work." Harris barked, not even looking up from the papers he had gotten from the principal's office.

Snapping themselves back into their positions, with their heads bowed towards their open textbooks and notebooks. With wide smiles, they glanced at each other, eyes sparkling and faces glowing. Even paper rings could make detention with the devil himself blissful. "I'd throw this pencil at him if that meant we could have another detention together." Stiles whispered, sliding his elbow closer to hers.

She smiled, bumping his elbow with his. "I would steal his dinky little glasses if that meant we would have a week's worth of detentions together. As long as you teach me to make these paper rings."

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domesticblisss · 3 years ago

Text

In Between Days

Oney Lorcan x Female Reader; Ridge Holland x Female Reader

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 1457

Warnings: Fluff and the tiniest bit of angst. Mentions of bad family relationships and being alone, mentions of cheating.

Summary: Reader finds comfort in who she least expects. How does it changes things?

Inspired by The Cure’s song In Between Days

A/N: Hello my dudes! Here’s me with a fic that nobody has asked for (while a shit ton of requests sit waiting in my ask box) and that probably one person will read lmao. But I looooove Oney and I’m just obsessed with how large Ridge is lol. Hope y’all like it. Also, I’m sorry if the formatting is weird and if there’s any mistakes, I’m post this from my phone since I’m laying in bed and too lazy to get up and grab my laptop.

Do you ever second guess your choices?

Do you ever second guess choices that could change your life?

It’s my wedding day, the one that was supposed to be the most important and happiest day of my life, only after the day of the birth of my future child (if I ever have one).

I mean, I guess it is normal to second guess this, right? I’ll be choosing to be with someone for the rest of my life, it’s normal to be nervous, right?

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m nervous, Oney is a great guy. Who wouldn’t want to be with him for the rest of their life?

Oney and I met by accident, and by accident I mean in a literal accident. I had rear-ended him when I failed to notice he was braking the car at the stop sign.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” I said as we both left our cars to check the damage.

Oney remained stoic but the angry look he had at first disappeared a little.

“I’m new in town and I’m kinda lost.” I kept going, embarrassed.

He sighed.

“It’s ok, just pay attention next time.” I nodded and before I could even reply, he continued, “Give me your number so we can solve this. I know a guy that makes a good price.”

“Sure, of course.” I told him as I grabbed my phone.

Oney asked me out a couple of days later, while we were at the mechanic.

It has been four years of love, laughter and the occasional fights, most of them because of how hard headed he is.

All in all, the good days are in larger numbers than the bad ones.

With Oney also came new pets, new places and new friends.

Pete, Danny and Ridge had been a constant for the past two years of our lives. In the highs and lows, they were there to help us.

Ridge, specifically. That big, burly exterior of his hid an extremely sweet guy that would do anything for the four of us.

We got closer after one ugly fight I had with Oney. The cons of leaving everything and everyone you know behind and moving to a new town is that you don’t have anyone nor a place to go when things like this happen.

“Isn’t this weird for you?” I asked Ridge, voice hoarse after crying.

“What do you mean?” Ridge answered, confusion clear in his voice.

“You’re Oney’s friend and I’m coming to you, crying my eyes out because we got in a fight.”

He laughed, a comforting laugh, and his shoulders moved up and down, the muscles of his back tensing and relaxing.

The scene happening in front of me was almost comic: a huge ass man, in a tiny kitchen, with a tiny teacup in one hand and a kettle in the other, making me tea.

“Well,” he began, “if it serves as consolation, I am more of Pete’s friend than Oney’s.”

“What do you mean?”

He turned around and handed me the teacup. “I met Pete first, we’d been friends for a few years when he said he, Oney and Danny needed some extra hands and invited me in.” I nodded and he kept going “We’re teammates, I’ll save his ass no matter what and I know he got mine, but it’s not like we’re best friends.”

“Oh.” Was all I could say.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like Oney, but I know he can be an asshole sometimes and how hard headed he is, and I know how it feels to have no friends in a new town.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. The bed got fresh sheets. Call me if you need anything.”

I nodded as he left to lay on his couch.

After that day, my friendship with Ridge became stronger. We’d run errands together, sometimes train together and I’d run to him whenever Oney and I got into a fight. Oney even said he was glad that I had finally made a friend in town, and that he was glad it was Ridge.

Sometimes it felt like I was closer to him than I was to Oney.

Ridge was there for everything, for the good and for the bad. He was the one I came to when I felt vulnerable, he was the one to help Oney choose the engagement ring and where to propose.

Sometimes it felt like he knew me better than anyone else.

The day of the wedding passed by like a blur.

I can’t remember a word that was said to me as I got ready, or how I posed for the official “getting ready” photos, or how I even repeated the words the officiant asked me to, as my mind was going a million miles per hour, repeating what had happened right before I got down the aisle.

Having no family means that sometimes, your friends will do their job, and it was Ridge’s job to walk me down the aisle.

“You look beautiful.” He said as soon as his eyes laid on me.

“You don’t look so bad either.” I told him, nervous laughter following right after.

The deep blue of his suit made his greyish blue eyes pop, the sight almost mesmerising.

He hugged me tight and kissed my head, before whispering “I’m not saying this to change your mind, but I feel like you should know… that I love you.”

The doors opened and the music started playing, cueing us in.

It felt like I was being carried, in a way I sort of was. I knew that before me stood the few old friends that had remained from my old life, the few new ones and Oney’s family.

Oney looks nice in his sharp, well tailored black suit. Not as nice as Ridge does.

I know we exchanged the vows and thank god I had written it down, but everything after that was done in automatic.

Ridge’s words just echoed in my mind.

Do I love him? I think I love him too.

I hear my name being called and the feeling of all eyes being on me.

“Yeah.” I answer, coming back to real life.

“I said ‘Do you take Oney to be your husband?” the officiant replied.

I look at Ridge and he looks as nervous as Iam. Oney tightens the grip he has on my hands just the slightest bit, the look on his eyes almost pleading.

“No.” I whisper.

Oney cocks his head and the officiant lets out a nervous laugh. “Excuse me, I didn’t hear you.”

“No.” I say it louder this time.

Everyone let out a collective gasp and now I want to die.

I look to the side and Ridge has his arms crossed, his legs shaking incessantly, Pete, the little shit, was holding back his laughter and Danny looked like he was about to punch someone.

“I’m so, so sorry, Oney.” I start pleading.

“Hey, it’s o–“

“Please, let me finish this one time.” I interrupt him. “I’ve loved you like I’ve never loved anyone in my life before. You’ve accepted me and made me feel welcome when I had nobody, you gave me new friends… we’re great for a while… but don’t tell me you haven’t felt like things had gotten different in the last few months?”

Oney nods.

“You’re an incredible guy, Oney… but we’re not incredible together anymore.”

I think about my next few words very carefully, afraid of the crowd’s reaction, especially Danny’s.

“I’ve gotten closer to someone over the course of the last year.” My eyes shift to Ridge’s before continuing. “And before you say anything, I’ve never cheated on you, I’d never do it. And to be honest, I didn’t even realise how deep my feelings were until today… and I know the timing is horrible, but maybe it’s better now than waiting for the both of us to just be miserable.”

He squeezes my hand again before speaking. “It’s Ridge, isn’t it?” The tone of his voice is calm, but I can feel the tinge of pain.

All I can do is nod.

Oney hugs me. Can’t tell you I was expecting this reaction.

“Go on, your choice is made.” He says and kisses me one last time.

Ridge is already standing up when I finally get down from the altar.

“Let’s go?” I ask him and he answers me with an eager nod and a big smile.

We run hand in hand through the venue, making our way to the parking lot.

I don’t know if I’ve made the wrong decision or what the future holds, but all I know is that I’m finally, truly happy.

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