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msbigredmachine · 10 months ago

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💖Beginners' Guide to MsBigRedMachine's Fanfics💖

Thank you once again to two of my faves @southerngirl41 and @harmshake for the tags!

Intro: I'm Ada! I write fanfiction mainly for Roman Reigns, but I expanded to Jey Uso and now I've added his twin Jimmy, lol. Also have a Samoa Joe fic lurking somewhere.

Pairings: As you'll see in my masterlist, ALL my OCs are Black women. Dark skin, light skin, caramel, slim, big...all beautiful Black baddies. Also, being Nigerian, I aim to incorporate more Nigerian names in my fics too. Sorry, I don't do slash of any kind. I've been asked before and it's just not my thing.

Warnings: Smut, angst, drama, more smut. No one under the age of 18 should read my stuff or interact with me on it, or you'll be outed without hesitation.

So where to start reading...?

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My first fic: My first-ever one was actually an RVD fic called Shattered Rose that I never finished, when white women were my OCs. I know wayyyy better now😬

My longest fic: My first baby, Into The Deep End. March 6, 2024 will make it ten years since I first published it on another platform. I worked so hard on it as a stress reliever when I was studying for my Masters, and to know that it still gets so much love on all the sites I've posted it on truly warms my heart. Targets is my second-longest, I really enjoyed that one too.

My shortest fic: Definitely Wait For You. Marian tagged me in a "Seven Sentence" challenge and this was the result. I'm terrible with <1000 word fics and it was truly a challenge, lol.

My most popular fic: So, there's three answers. Overall, Into The Deep End for sure. But for my one-shots, I still get messages and quotes about Power Couple (Roman/OC) and On Sight (Jey Uso/OC) to this day.

My personal fave fic: Lol this answer changes all the time. They're all my babies, I really can't choose. Each time I re-read one, I fall in love with it.

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💖About me💖

30+, a qualified lawyer/attorney by profession. I've been writing all sorts of stuff since I was a child. There's something about putting your imagination down on paper that is so liberating and I really enjoy it. Maybe one day I will have the courage to actually publish something.

I've been posting my fics on tumblr for years now. I'm truly happy to have met such great authors along the way, and I appreciate all the likes, reblogs and especially the amazing comments and feedback. Forgive me for all my late responses, work and Nigeria's WAT time zone messes me up lol.

Thank you all again, and enjoy!

Click here if you're not yet on my tag list and you want to be added.

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Again, tagging everyone: @jxtina-86 @wrestlingprincess80 @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @squishyguishy @jstarr86 @murrylove @thewarlordsworld @mzv11 @cozyaliensuperstar7 @nayys-world @hunnidmilly @cyberdejos2 @papireigns-05 @niknakbucks92 @captainwithoutmakingitlove @sovereigngoth @aisharmi @kennedi0818 @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @herwickedlittlesins @harmshake @fame-ass-ers@questionable-behaviour @tribalchiefreigns @2-muchsauce @thatbxtchsblog @raya-hunter01 @marchi36753 @lovelysuccess @christinabae @wooahmiri @thatonecarebear @tabletheofhead @rheaanddamianfan @vebner37 @hanley1577 @princessesareforsuckers @-naturally @joannasteez @bbygirlky18 @lilucey @theninthwonder @melaninsugababy @chocovibesonly @msbluehaz3 @scarlettnoir01 @heerah34 @empressdede @tbmotw @darkangelchronicles @visionarymode @marasdeathnote @aintnorainbows @meggylynnloves @shantinextdoor @harlemblipster @trc-punzel @afterdarkprincess @nbanenefrmdao @sassginaswanmills @purplehairgawdess @holisticcoach @girlwhogaf @royalkay23 @heyitsnajabrinee @stoner2k @reci1996 @catxo @iamimanim @lookmais @ts1mp0ne @shonny09 @lizzyd1ish @gomussy @m3llowww @skyesthebomb @final1miya

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lizpaige · 5 months ago

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Fics I Read This Week 👩‍💻

hi I want to smooch all of you for the amazing adam's birthday we all had 😘 trc tumblr was popping off like it was the 2010s lmao this is a list of some of the fics i read this week that i loved and think you will toooooo

First Ditch Effort by @clotpolesonly - I don't normally tag authors (bc I can't always find their tumblrs haha) but I must in this case because their commentary in the tags on every post is just amazing lmao. The pynch dynamic in this fic is INCREDIBLE UNREAL SHOWSTOPPING like do yourself a favor and read this and then re-read it.

the cost of a lover by summerequinox - help! i love an escort!Adam fic, r u kidding meeeeeee???? there aren't enough. This one is great, I re-read it. Plus painter!Ronan is just the best profession for him in any non-magic!au.

at my best when I'm at my worst by shinealightonme - pretty sure this was a re-read too. The jealousy in this fic is so delicious. Ronan is such a dumby being jealous of Adam and Declan going to the same college. The long distance struggles are too real it hurts, but it's so good.

It's Always Sunny in Henrietta by dealwiththedevil - I must confess I have not seen the show just clips and memes BUT you def don't have to to enjoy this fic. Adam the flirty af bartender trying to seduce the angsty bouncer Ronan (with the help of Henry + Blue) - its so silly and good!

For the kiss, I would do most anything by DiltonsBunker (AmbivalentPug) - The soft and awkward dynamics of first loves and first times were just impeccable here. Pynch are so sweet to each other and it is so fluffy and good.

bury me in your bedroom without sheets by burningcicadas - We need more fem!Pynch and we need more fem!Pynch without name changes. The PINING in this is just sooooooo fucking good. But like pls write another part and let them smooch I am begging you

dig into the ribs by sunmoontruth - there needs to be more trans fics in the fandom. This is a new one and a greaaaaaaat one. Both Adam and Ronan are trans with wildly different experiences, love the religious refs, love a supportive older bro declan, just so good

#lmk fics you read this week!#pynch fic #pynch fic rec #adam parrish #ronan lynch #pynch #trc #the raven cycle #trc fic rec #trc fic

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aaronstveit · 26 days ago

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i would loooove to hear more of your director's commentary about deep end! <3 not sure how much you can say without spoiling but did you make a lot of changes from the original draft? and are there any scene that didn't make it into the final fic? thank youuu <3

omg hi anon this question made my entire day <3333 gonna answer beneath a read more as always because when talking about deep end i am this trc meme

okay so firstly! i wrote deep end 3 times. the original draft had a final wordcount of 126,978 words. the middle draft had a final wordcount of 175,065 words. the final draft's wordcount is not finalized yet because i am still editing & still adding one scene to the epilogue, but obviously we've already surpassed the first draft's wordcount, so that's fun.

as you can see, about 50k words were added in the middle draft! there are a lot of reasons for this. chapters 8 & 9, as well as about half of chapter 10, did not exist in the original draft. i added them during rewriting because i felt we hadn't spent enough time with enjolras & cosette.

combeferre and éponine were almost nonexistent in the original draft. not just as a couple, but individually as well. every single grantaire & éponine scene was added in the middle draft, and most of enjolras & combeferre's scenes as well.

i actually didn't cut any full scenes out! there were quite a few though where i started writing a scene, realized it was wrong, and erased what i had written and started over. for instance, this bit in chapter 18:

in the original draft, i tried writing enjolras turning to grantaire at this point and saying, "I think I'm in love with you," before cosette answered the door. obviously, i ended up deciding against this, mostly because i decided the kiss scene would pack more of a punch if enjolras realizes he's in love with grantaire right when he's in the middle of their argument.

i also deleted soooooooooo many arguments. this is probably surprising considering how often they argue in this fic, but at least once a chapter i really had to stop myself and say, okay no this is getting unhealthy. i enjoy writing arguments too much apparently - which is good for writing exr, but only to a certain extent.

originally, grantaire was not going to have a sister. it genuinely did not even occur to me until chapter 11 (which was chapter 8 at the time), but once it did occur to me, i couldn't not do it. his grief plotline became way too dear to me way too quickly.

the biggest changes i made during writing all had to do with reordering events!! originally, karaoke happened somewhere around chapter 8. i ended up moving it wayyyyyyyyy back because i felt like their flirting was out of place so early in the story.

i also moved enjolras' arguments with cosette and grantaire to an earlier point than i originally intended. at first, i thought they were going to happen around the second-to-last chapter, but i moved them forward a lot earlier because i thought more work needed to be done with enjolras.

the chapter that underwent the most changes from the middle draft to the finished draft is chapter 24. obviously i can't say just yet what those changes are, but i'm really really happy with how that chapter turned out and i hope you all will be as well <3

several of my personal favorite scenes in this fic are actually cannibalized from something i tried writing and gave up on a few months ago. marius getting mugged in chapter 4, the hamlet conversation in chapter 7, and enjolras tending to grantaire's broken nose in chapter 14 were all taken from the same abandoned wip.

as for some more random tidbits that i find fun:

a fun fact for everyone is that cosette did not pull the phrase "who has a flag where he should have a heart" out of thin air! she takes this from courfeyrac in chapter 13:

which is why courfeyrac winces when enjolras says it in chapter 19:

also in chapter 19, enjolras means to say that Train to Busan is his favorite horror movie ending. i didn't just choose that because i love that movie (although i really really do) but because. well. i'm not going to spoil the ending for you if you haven't seen it, but... it was very deliberate is all i'm saying.

i really cannot overstate how much of this fic only exists because of cossette notebookmusical. for starters, i only even attempted writing it because she said "jamie if you don't write this." she also got to spend months listening to me bitch about it and receiving so many horrible snippets from the original draft so coco, if you're reading this, thank you from the very bottom of my heart 🫶🏻

more specifically, the entire beginning sequence of chapter 17 with grantaire staying the night at enjolras' apartment was inspired by cossette! i was asking her for situations to put the blond man in and one of her ideas was that he loses his keys. so everyone say thank you cossette!

also the bit in chapter 19 where enjolras thinks about combeferre a psychology minor is the worst thing to ever happen to you was added after i said something to cossette and she said something along the lines of, "would you like to elaborate on that?"

the ending bit of chapter 23 is also inspired by and written for cossette. you'll see what i mean in a few weeks.

there are a lot more bits and pieces inspired by things that cossette has said and done, or added just to make her laugh, but if i listed all of them i would be here forever. just know that this entire fic is cocoservice and it is only because of cossette that it exists at all <333333

there is also a collection of scenes i'm considering writing as "bonus content" for when the fic is fully posted - mostly scenes that already exist, but from another point of view, and a few that are only mentioned in passing.

okay i'm cutting myself off now because this is a lot of yapping even for me but you may always ask more if you're so inclined <3333 thank you sm for asking i had so much fun answering this! i really can't tell you how much it means to me not only that you're not only reading but also enjoying it so much that you're asking about it like... this is literally a fic writer's DREAM. thank you so so so much <3333

#<333333333333 #deep end tag #answered #anonymous #love letters only💛

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foxufortunes · 6 months ago

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So like, I was gonna add this onto my post about the Raven's win percentage and how that compared to lacrosse with NCAA Exy and NCAA Lacrosse being about the same age, but I figured I'd put it here so everyone can see, because this is what I mean about the exy timeline being complicated and why zero losses makes sense over 30 years.

And yes, I know AFTG is not aiming for hyper realism grounded in reality, but I like figuring out a cohesive timeline for things like fics it's TRC all over again. Also I just like to think way too deep about this things, and if I'm descending into madness over these things you're coming with me.

That said, the timeline of exy and Evermore as much as I can make sense of it:

So, the exy/Evermore timeline in kind of a mess and a great example of how adding more makes something make less sense. What we're going to do is take the books at their most concrete fact and say that Tetsuji and Kayleigh invented exy 30 years pre-canon, and for ease of timeline we'll call it exactly 30years. So, here we go:

So our base line in 1976 (for the record NCAA Lacrosse was formed 1971, this is what I mean when I say they're roughly the same age). Tetsuji and Kayleigh were in university and in Japan, but it's not clear at what point in their studies they were and how long they had left to go at university.

Nora's EC says that Tetsuji was reaching out to the NCAA before he graduated. During his last semester he was reaching out promising funding and himself as a coach. So this is, at most a few years after exy was created unless Tetsuji had the slowest university career ever.

The next fall semester NCAA Exy officially starts with Ravens vs Trojans at Castle Evermore. So, as I've said before, the Big 3 were in on the ground floor. This is why they're so dominant, but that they started with the Ravens means they should be more competitive. The Raven's won the first match 13-12 and if it's that close at the start, the idea that the Raven's undefeated 20year+ streak is because they've been around longer loses all ground.

Evermore was the first stadium completed, followed by the Golden Court for the Trojans and Pride Court for Penn State Lions (which is such a cute name, I want a book on them please Nora). Pride Court was delayed but Penn State kept up training, while USC and EAU had their courts built at impossible speed. For reference, building a sports stadium, from first plans to completion is at speed roughly an 18month endeavour, if everything goes right, but depending on how you read the point above this could be just a few months. Either way, it's very fast. Other universities had pop up stadiums or played at the bigger stadiums of the Big 3 or local stadiums until theirs were complete. Ironically, given his apparent treatment of his female players, a lot of Tetsuji's funding came from getting women on board, promoting how co-ed the sport was.

The first pro teams were formed around the first graduates from the NCAA league. So 5 years after Evermore and we get a professional league.

And the US Court 2 years after. So 7 years from the start of the NCAA competition and we get a national team.

Then exy is in the Olympics the next year. So 8 years from the first NCAA game for exy to be Olympic recognised (a generous estimate makes that 1988, 1992 at a push, 14-18 years pre-canon and roughly a decade pre-foundation of the Foxes).

The problem with all this, of course, being that the book in only chapter 2 of TFC says that Kevin (born in 1986) and Riko were around with Tetsuji when Evemore was still in the blueprint stage.

Now, there's a couple of way I can think to maybe square this all. Firstly, obviously the 30years is a rough but that should mean closer to 30 than anything else, but to be generous either way, we're looking at between '71 (35years pre-canon) and '81 (25years pre-canon) and the later timeline can square a little better. It's also possible our Castle Evermore is a new stadium and the first Castle Evermore is an old one they've knocked down and replaced at the new one is the one Kevin and Riko were around for. It's also possible to be more generous with Tetsuji's university career: say he was in his first year in 1976, did a longer/postgrad course and stayed for say 7 years giving us 1983 for his graduation, then be generous and say "next fall semester" actually means '84 (which is still fast for a stadium) for Evermore's completion and the NCAA starting, which gives us the '92 Olympics.

So, let's work backwards instead. For Evermore to be being built while Kevin and Riko "already had custom racquets" we'll be generous and lowball age 2? So, we'll work with Evermore opening around '88. Even working with the most generous estimate of when exy was invented (1981, 25years rather than 30) that means, assuming Tetsuji spent his freshman year in Japan, he was in university for 6 or 7 years (depending on how you read next fall). Putting us at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta and making NCAA exy 20ish years old.

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court

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rekikiri · 2 months ago

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hi ask game!

send me an emoji relating to one of my WIPs and I’ll post a couple lines or a note written for it that isn’t posted yet !

✍️something original

🐦‍⬛🦊the raven cycle x all for the game crossover (aftg x trc)

🐦‍⬛raven!neil (aftg)

🐰different first meeting / amputee neil (aftg)

♠️ ace aaron (aftg)

🎶my conan gray song fic series (aftg)

🌶️something spicy 👀 (aftg)

🎸andrew and aaron pre canon (partially posted)

🧡something else not listed (mha, haikyuu, aftg, trc, in repair, icebreaker)

#only if yall want toooo #I need motivation to work on some of these :(#aftg #trc

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adamnsey · 1 year ago

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abby (adamnsey)’s super-duper funky fresh adansey fic rec masterpost

Hello friends. i like to think of myself as a connoisseur of adansey fanfiction and so i thought i’d put some of my favs here in a list. no one asked for this but here it is. yippeeeee

this is what i live for by kitschlet

this is my favourrrite adansey fic EVVVERRRR. this fic has everything: adam as a vampire. gansey as a human. gansey desperately wanting adam to suck his blood. adam being to proud to suck gansey’s blood. gansey being a jealous little brat about this. SEXUAL VAMPIRE TENSION. THIS FIC IS A GODSENT.

A Complex Superiority by cloudsweater

is this my own fic? yes. do i feel a bit bad about including it? yes. do i also think it is a wonderful exploration of a pre-trc adansey kiss at an aglionby party? also yes. :)

With My Hands Open by HindsightHero

this one is just sooooo well written and i love the details and their dialogue is really good ummmm.... probs one of my fav kiss stories & it takes place in cabeswater so there’s that

forests / fields / seas by VioletSargent

have u ever wondered.... what would happen if after adam walked away from the gansey house in tdt... what if after they found adam they spent another night in D.C..... well this fic answers that!!

Twelve Days ‘Til Christmas by flitwickslittlebrotha

this fic is xmas themed but I! LOVE! IT!!!! it’s just a sweet au where gansey frequents the pub adam works at and its SO CUTEEEE

A Study of Living in Your Own Skin: A Presentation by Adam Parrish to Richard Campbell Gansey III by Kasket

i just LOVE a good au and this one delivers. they get paired up to do an assignment today and there’s tension and crushes and just AH. SO GOOD.

cowboyland by Ophelia Marina

gansey visits adam at harvard and things ENSUE......

BONUS ROUND !!! ADANSEY MOVIE AU LETS GOOOOOOO

The Raven Network by declantheelynch

SORRY MY PRADA’S AT THE CLEANERS, ALONG WITH MY POLO AND MY FUCK-YOU BOAT-SHOES, YOU PRETENTIOUS DOUCHE-BAG

where is my mind? by Fix9

the first rule of the adansey fight club au fic is that we must talk about the adansey fight club au

carcass for the vultures to colonize by robinsegg

UMMMM MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO ADANSEY AU ANYONE?

Bleed All The Sweetness Away by Zee

(new addition!) HUNGER GAMES AUUU DFSHJKJDKSFJH. THIS WORKS SOOO WELL! GREAT FIC!

When the Fog Clears by cloudsweater

im sorrrryyyy yes this another one of mine im SORRRRYY its not my fault i love picturing them in Alternate Universe Scenarios!!! anyways this is a Lighthouse AU and i think it’s really deranged and good :)

if anyone has any adansey fic recs please send them my wayyyyyy. these r just some of my favs and i wanted to put them all in one spot. thank u to everyone for dealing with my brainrot ok have a nice day bye <3

#adansey #adam #gansey #adam parrish #richard campbell gansey iii #richard gansey iii #the raven cycle #trc #the raven boys #the dream thieves #blue lily lily blue #the raven king #fanfiction #fic #fics #fic recs #ao3 #mine

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cabeswaterdrowned · 3 months ago

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okay so I have Blue as Lisa, Orla as Taffy, Noah as Creature, Jimmi as step mom, Artemus as Dale, Henry as Michael, T.J. (boy who drew a penis on Blue’s unicorn in BLLB) as Doug (other alternatives for this role are Tad Caruthers and Kavinsky), Ronan as goth girl (also considered Declan because he has more reason to hang around Henry but in context not his scene). — for the background my idea is that Maura has obviously been killed and it’s not confirmed but I’ll imply it could’ve been Greenmantle who killed her. Calla and Persephone don’t exist in this fic because if they did there’s no way any of this could happen, but Blue was raised by Maura and never knew who her father was but soon after she died Artemus gets in touch and Blue starts living with him, then like a month later Gansey who she was dating at the time dies am debating to have this be implied as suicide but I can also come up with another method or scrap the pre canon Bluesey part entirely. But I don’t want to go into great detail about either deaths the way that the movie doesn’t really linger in the details of Lisa’s mom’s death that much (well you get that whole sequence but it’s from Taffy’s pov Lisa’s doesn’t linger in it that much).

#also the I.P. intuitive person bit is going to be really funny to give chars who in canon are psychic #s speaks #my fic #lisa Frankenstein au #this is going to be my first Adam-less trc fic (well not counting the unpublished Blue x Helen fic I wrote in middle school)#as much as I love him am excited to switch things up

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magpiefngrl · 6 months ago

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Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "magpiefngrl"?

Hey, anon!

Oh fave fics! I love talking about fics and books, though I feel I talk about fics everyone knows and have nothing new to offer, esp since I've not read much in the last 2-3 years. Still, narrowing it down to 10 is super hard, so I've looked at my bookmarks and chose the ten fics that I've reread the most.

1. Bound Skerry by Frayach (drarry, M, 2.3k)

I've read this a hundred times and I'll keep coming back to it. Possibly my most read fic. The reason it's one of my Forever Fics is the prose. Absolutely stunning writing.

2. House Proud by astolat (drarry, M, 23k)

The original House Magic fic and the best one. I particularly love the hints of dark faerie magic, the horror elements and the brilliant worldbuilding. Astolat's prose is super readable and the pacing is excellent.

3. with exactness grinds he all by thistle_verse (drarry, M, 6k)

An aching fic with beautiful, lyrical writing. I've reread this so many times.

4. Art in Life by northofallmusic (tofsla) (wangxian, T, 2k)

I feel I'm repeating myself but this has excellent prose and it's aching and tender and made me feel all the feels.

5. Out of the Dead Land by orphan account (stucky, M, 63k)

OK so this hasn't stood the test of time because I finished it a few days ago, but WOW. Absolutely brilliant. I'm not even a stucky fan or anything. But I kept thinking about it when I was doing other stuff and I set aside the books I was reading so as to finish this. Now it's days later and it's still on my mind. I can't remember the last time I had a book/fic hangover. A very angsty fic and a fantastic exploration of Bucky's trauma. This is by one of my top authors of all time, who's now orphaned everything.

6. Mr Webster's Wager by Fahye + orphan author (same one as above) (Ash/Webster, E, 27k)

Now we're getting into the horny fics. This one is based on a KJ Charles short story which is the best romance short story ever written in my not so humble opinion. This takes the original story and the horniness of that scene and expands it into many horny scenes. It's masterful, very very hot, and just a fantastic fic.

7. Unhook the Stars by jad (drarry, E, 70k)

One of the first drarry fics I read and one that made a huge impression on me. Super kinky, lots of sex scenes, I've reread this a LOT.

8. IDK My BFF Hermione? by lettered (drarry, E, 19k)

Extraordinary. Phenomenal. It will always have a place in my Top 10. Also, very filthy, which is a huge plus in my book.

9. a better happier st sebastian by halsinator (Jonathan Strange, E, 6k)

Another one I reread a million times. Stunning prose and vibes and beautiful yearning. I keep coming back to it.

10. live from new york by varnes (wangxian, E, 87k)

A masterpiece, a classic of wangxian, this is a Saturday Night Live AU, which is such a bizarre choice for an AU--and yet it works. I don't live in US, I have never watched SNL, but I adored the fic.

I've left out a ton of favourite works and authors I adore, but for more of my faves, my AO3 Bookmarks is the place to go.

I have to say, this exercise has been quite illuminating: I don't think I've ever had such a clear glimpse of what makes me tick. In short, sublime prose, an aching, yearning mood and/or filthy porn.

*****

As for my username, here's the story: I joined tumblr a gazillion years ago (way before I got into fandom) and my first blog (still exists: @magpie-x ) was mostly what you'd call an aesthetic blog. I'd reblog cool pics and quotes and occasionally post a personal post about my life. I named it magpie because it was a place where I collected everything shiny, like a magpie. I rarely used it after a while tbh. Years later I read The Raven Cycle and fell heads over heel with pynch and knew that the only place I'd find fans was tumblr. I got into the nascent TRC fandom and soon I needed a space exclusively for fannish posts. I created a sideblog called magpiefangirling and when I later got an AO3 account I shortened the name. Years later I got into drarry, I became very active on tumblr again, and the sideblog wasn't enough so I deleted it and created a brand new blog with my AO3 name.

In short, magpiefngrl, means magpie being a fangirl. It was a random decision but it has now shaped me and I think of myself as Magpie in fandom spaces, and even chose that as my pen name for my future original romance books.

#inbox #fave fics #My recs #Drarry recs #Wangxian recs

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clotpolesonly · 22 days ago

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What A Day This Has Been, What A Rare Mood I'm In

why, it's almost like being in looove!! i'm so very fond of this ship and i can't BELIEVE nothing has been written for it already 🥺 so when i found the Smash The Champagne event on dreamwidth, i jumped on the chance to write their first fic!!!! and it also just so happened to end up on my TRC rare pair/kink event bingo card, which was extremely fortuitous 😂 (also fortuitous that someone reminded me i signed up for this cuz i wholesale forgot, LOL) | Gansey/Matthew | 2.2k | Gen | Post-Canon | Established Relationship | Anxious Gansey | Matthew is Good at Feelings | Emotional Hurt/Comfort | (also on AO3)

Gansey was having A Day. That was the way his mother put it, at least, when she experienced moods like these. A Day—capital letters—was one where the mind simply was not up to containing itself and thus either spilled out haphazardly and made a mess all over everything or took a leave of absence and left behind nothing at all of substance to fill the space between one's ears. Either way, it was conducive to neither productivity nor restfulness.

Gansey's mind had not quite made itself up as to which route it was going to take for this Day, but the unproductive restlessness had already made itself emphatically known. It had taken him three tries to eat something that could reasonably be called breakfast because he'd kept picking things up and then putting them back down, forgetting that none of it had made it into his mouth. Now there were bran muffins and granola bars and cereal bowls scattered around Monmouth. Knowing him, they would probably be there until the end of time. They were just part of the decor now. He could build an entire aesthetic around it. Haphazardly Maintained Diner At Closing Time Chic would be very popular on pinterest.

Not even the prospect of his boyfriend coming over had managed to pull Gansey out of his mood, at least partly because he had forgotten about the planned rendezvous. Or, more accurately, he had forgotten what day it was and that time moved, mostly, in a linear fashion and thus said rendezvous was quickly approaching. By the time the door opened, Gansey was quite engrossed with staring uncomprehendingly at the pieces of cardboard he was almost certain would form a small building if he were so inclined as to pick up the glue gun that he'd left somewhere that was not here. Sadly, the building had not built itself in the last hour or so.

The door clanging shut startled Gansey rather more than he would have liked to admit. Helen had once accused him of being horse-like—easily spooked—and he hated to prove her right, but the last two years had been rough on his nerves. Perhaps he should embrace his equine nature. Blinders as a fashion statement! Yellow, perhaps, to match his favorite sweater.

A hand descended onto Gansey's head, tugging gently on his hair. Gansey obligingly tipped his head backward until a familiar, grinning face came into view.

“Hey, dude,” Matthew said. “'Sup?”

Gansey closed his eyes and sagged back against Matthew's legs. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

Matthew ran his fingers through Gansey's hair again, unconcerned about being used as a structural support. He was tall and sturdy; it was a common occurrence. He hummed blithely. “There's always something. Right? Can't be, like, nothing-nothing or else you wouldn't be alive.”

That made some amount of sense. There was always something. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Oftentimes, it was many things at once, overlapping in such a way to ensure that there were always at least two or three somethings of varying magnitudes. Gansey couldn't remember if he'd left his glue gun plugged in or not. Monmouth was not on fire yet, so he presumed he hadn't, but he couldn't be sure.

Matthew's hand had trailed downward, abandoning Gansey's hair to squeeze his shoulder instead. The muscle ached something fierce; was he tense? He was. He hadn't noticed. The kneading of Matthew's strong fingers hurt in a good way.

“Is that my shirt?”

Gansey opened his eyes to look. There, blazoned across his own chest, was a large cartoon leprechaun. He flushed.

“Ah.” He cleared his throat. “Yes, it appears so. I must have grabbed it without noticing. I wasn't feeling particularly on the ball this morning. I hope you don't mind.”

When Matthew laughed, Gansey felt the vibrations of it through his whole body. The hand on his shoulder slid down a little further, far enough to give the leprechaun's face a fond pat where it rested over Gansey's right pectoral.

“Why would I mind?” Matthew asked. “I think it suits you. You should wear this every day.”

He folded himself over Gansey's body far enough to kiss his cheek. Gansey could feel the smile pressed into his skin and he tried valiantly to smile back, but the way Matthew's forehead creased when he pulled back told him he didn't do a very good job of it. Matthew tried again with an upside-down kiss that landed a little clumsily on the side of Gansey's mouth. When that didn't elicit the desired response either, he unfolded himself and nudged his knee into Gansey's back to get him to sit up properly. Gansey did so with a sinking feeling already in his stomach that stayed stubbornly put as Matthew scooted the cardboard pieces away so that he could sit cross-legged directly in front of him.

“Hey,” Matthew said again, once he was settled. His eyes were bright in the afternoon sunlight that streamed through the wall of windows. They didn't have quite the same intensity as Ronan's, or the sharpness of Declan's, but they were warm and they didn't waver from Gansey's face when he asked, “For real, bro, what's going on? Are you okay?”

Because there was nothing going on, and because there were many overlapping things going on, and because he hadn't eaten a proper breakfast and was wearing someone else's shirt, and because the tiny building had not built itself and the glue gun was AWOL, and because of the yawning hole nibbling away at his chest that he'd long since learned to live with, and because Matthew had come in smiling and no longer was, and because this was A Day, Gansey said, “I'm fine.”

For a moment, Matthew simply looked at him, warm eyes roving Gansey's features like they were a particularly inscrutable bit of academic text. The next, the crease in Matthew's brow deepened into a proper frown. His voice was not harsh when he spoke, because Matthew was not prone to harshness, but there was a sharpness that did not come out often.

“Please don't lie to me.”

Gansey flushed again, shame this time instead of the softer spread of embarrassment. “It's not—” His mouth closed again because it was a lie and he was not fine. His mind had spilled out and there was nothing left behind, not even the words to explain. It was simply A Day. Humiliatingly, his eyes stung with the sudden threat of tears. He hastily stuck his fingers underneath his glasses to press against them, as if that might force them back.

There was a shuffling noise and something bumped against Gansey's knees—Matthew's knees, now butted up to his to allow Matthew to be closer to him. Strong, gentle fingers took hold of Gansey's other hand.

“No, don't cry!” he said. “I'm sorry, I just— Don't tell me you're okay if you're not okay. You don't have to do that. I don't want you to.”

Gansey waited until the clench in his throat loosened enough to free his voice before he turned his hand to lace their fingers together. He tried to choose his words carefully; they were dangerous on the best of days, he knew, and everything felt precariously balanced on Days. “I don't want to burden you, Matthew. You shouldn't have to worry about me. We shouldn't both have to be upset about nothing.”

Matthew frowned again and Gansey braced for the metaphorical blow, for Matthew to take his hand back and leave. But he didn't.

“Maybe I want to worry about you,” he said instead with a stubborn light in his eye that was pure Lynch. “You don't just get to blow me off and decide what I worry about and what I don't. I get enough of that from Declan, remember?”

Gansey did remember. He'd gotten back from his gap year road trip with Blue and Henry to find the Lynch family in a truly woeful state, and the worst fracture had been between the eldest and youngest of the brothers. Matthew with his burgeoning understanding of himself, struggling for independence, and Declan, clinging to how they used to be like it might keep him from drowning in all the changing tides. Gansey wasn't quite sure how or why it had come about, but he had become Matthew's confidante, the non-familial shoulder to lean on, the sympathetic ear when he needed to feel heard.

“I'm sorry,” he said, the hole in him threatening to swallow him up. “I didn't mean to—”

“I don't need you to be sorry, Gansey,” Matthew told him. “I just need you to talk to me. Okay? Don't shut me out. Tell me what's wrong.”

Gansey shook his head, helpless. “I don't know. I don't know how to say it.”

Matthew didn't seem perturbed by this. He shrugged a little and a wry smile tugged up the corner of his mouth. “You can always just say you feel like shit.”

A laugh caught Gansey by surprise. The force of it seemed to pop some kind of balloon in his chest and suddenly his lungs could expand. He took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess I do just feel like shit.”

“That's okay.” Matthew quickly banished his smile. “I mean, it's not okay, because you feel bad! And feeling bad sucks! But it's okay to feel bad and, like, just say so. You don't need to write an essay about it, you know what I mean? Sometimes a day just sucks. Say la vee or whatever.”

The French was shamefully mangled, but it made Gansey smile for the first time all day. “C'est la vie indeed.”

Matthew's grin returned in full sunny force. “Yeah, that! Now, do you wanna cuddle or not? I bet that would make you feel a lot better. Or we could make out! That might work too. I'm game for either. We could order a pizza? Also, why is your glue gun under your bed? That seems like a weird place for it to be.”

By the end of this little monologue, Matthew had stood up and dragged Gansey to his feet as well. They were already halfway to the bed by the time Gansey thought to say, “Pizza sounds nice.”

“Then we'll order pizza,” Matthew said easily, phone already in hand to put in the order. “Like, five of them, so you can have some for later.”

Gansey allowed himself to be nudged into sitting on the edge of his bed. “I do not need five pizzas.”

“You might need them later, though.” Matthew still had a hold of his hand with the one not currently in use. “It never hurts to be prepared. Like a boy scout.”

“Even a boy scout couldn't find time to eat five whole pizzas before they went bad,” Gansey pointed out, half-heartedly grabbing at Matthew's wrist to pull his phone screen into view and make sure he wasn't actually ordering that. “May I remind you that my mini fridge isn't big enough to preserve all that.”

Matthew cheerfully ignored him. He finished the order with a flourish, put his phone away, and pushed Gansey to lie back on the bed properly. It was barely big enough to hold both of them, if only because Matthew was so damn tall, but they were well accustomed with how to order their limbs to make it work. Some people may have felt smushed underneath someone as large as Matthew, but it was a grounding weight for Gansey. Some part of him heaved a sigh of relief to be so blanketed, and the rest of him joined in when Matthew wiggled into the right position to kiss him.

Still, Gansey had to ask. “The food?”

Matthew rolled his eyes. “I only ordered two pizzas,” he said with an air of martyrdom. “One for you and one for me.”

Gansey still felt that was a little excessive, but Matthew was kissing him again so he found that he didn't really care. Just a small, quick kiss. Then another one. And another one. And another, until an irrepressible laugh rendered Gansey momentarily unkissable. Matthew beamed down at him, obviously very pleased with himself. He glanced down, eyes lingering, and bit his lip. His cheeks looked a bit pink.

“I really do like you in my shirt,” he admitted. “You should definitely wear my clothes more often.”

Gansey suddenly felt warm all over, so full of affection and gratitude and want that it might spill out of him haphazardly and make a mess all over everything. He didn't have the words to explain that either, but that was okay. He pulled Matthew down into a kiss instead, this one slow and thorough.

“If you want that,” he murmured against Matthew's parted lips, “you'll have to take something off and not put it back on.”

Matthew's face lit up with mischief. “Oh, is that how it is?”

“We've got twelve minutes until the pizza gets here.”

“I think we can do it in ten.”

With that challenge on the table, Matthew set to his task with great enthusiasm. He took off many things and, obligingly, left them off. His bright green button-down was elected as the most steal-able of the bunch and he took pleasure in folding it carefully and putting it away in one of the perennially-open suitcases that had played the part of Gansey's dresser for the last four years. The pizza delivery man got an eyeful, accidentally, and a very generous tip, on purpose.

Gansey decided that perhaps not every Day had to be a bad one.

#Mattsey #Gansey #Matthew Lynch #TRC #TDT #fanfiction #fics by me

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