#this is maybe too personal

[merriblu]

The last few months after my surgery, I’ve really been focusing on my health and dropping my weight down to a healthy range (which is going really really well!) but it’s VERY discouraging to feel how much weaker I am due to the weight loss.

My doctor explained to me that when we lose weight, muscle mass is lost inevitably because to maintain or gain muscle, we need to eat enough to maintain or eat more to gain. To offset this, eating protein is a priority when planning meals. When somebody tries to lose 5-10kg the muscle loss isn’t that noticeable, but I’ve lost 30kg so it’s safe to say I lost a good chunk of muscle mass.

I feel the weakness mostly in my running. My heart has conditioned well but I don’t feel that strength that I had when I was 100+ kg. When I was bigger, I did a lot of strength training because honestly, my weight was breaking my body down and the training was needed to just handle my weight on a daily basis.

This sounds like whining, I know. I really am happy with the weight loss because summer feels nicer, hiking is easier, and I’m not as clumsy as I was months ago… but I want to be strong! That’s one thing I was proud of when I was larger — I had great strength.

I just really really really hate feeling weak.

[justapixelthing]

Do you ever have moments where you hate your favorite ship? (Another Oot Zelink rant - electric boogaloo)

Here we go again I guess. For some context: I grew up with Ocarina of Time. I played the game since before I could even read (I was like 4 for sure). I had kind of a rough childhood so for me Oot was an escape. Link was my childhood friend. I identified with him but at the same time saw him as my closest companion.

And well to little me there was no doubt that Link and Zelda were a thing. Same with Mario and Peach (SM 64 was there at the same time for me). Like it was clear as day to me. I was a child and it shaped the way I would end up liking my relationships. A hero and the princess. And I even ended up getting my hero in real life and he likes to call me his princess. We've been engaged for a while now.

So because I grew up with it, before I even understood what shipping was, it was more than a ship to me. It was my childhood. My reality.

You also have to realize that before TP came out and even for several years after TP was there, oot Zelink was also still very popular.

Then closer to today, we have things like Hyrule Historia and.... Zelda youtubers all saying the same thing of how the Hero of Time canonically marries Malon (which ... is still a theory. Like youtubers saying it's what happens and not marking it as theory doesn't make it canon) and the majority of the fandom treats it as fact. And okay, I get why the theory is popular, though I still think it should be treated as theory.

But now you have everyone going against you. Oot Zelink content is most of the time depressing tragic and painful content. What once used to be stories of love and peace faded out for the most part. When you write a fic about oot Zelink being happy together or make art about it, people will tell you 'but Link banged Malon' and worse things. Like I'm not here to tell you Malink is impossible, but I do think (and I will die on that hill) that oot Zelink IS possible. But then I get insulted over it. Hell someone called me the T slur over it.

I'm not blind to the hints, but these two are engraved into my mind. And sometimes I actually DO wish I could stop shipping them and wish they would stop affecting me. But they don't because they were part of my growing up process. Now when I see content about them, things like simple tweets or opinions or even just Oot content in general, it can put me into total agony. Oot used to be one of my favorite games and now just looking at it can ruin my mood and put me at unease. All the hero's shade content basically feels as If I'm watching my childhood friend die over and over again (which is whole different topic in itself) and all the tragic oot Zelink content rips my heart out. All this also made me feel unable to really like TP, which is a shame, as it introduced some of my favorite things.

What also hurts is, that as a child I really liked Malon. She was one of the things in my life that inspired me to sing. But this whole situation and the way several fans are has made me detest her. I try to like her but I basically have to force myself to do so.

I'm never going to attack you for having a different ship than mine (unless its illegal). But this situation is really hard on me. I wish I could agree with Malinkers but I probably never will.

Who knows, maybe I am delusional. But seeing as Nintendo never has and likely never will confirm Malink and has pushed oot Zelink (Oot 3d promotional manga? Approving of the mangas that push oot Zelink, which includes the TP manga? Miyamoto literally saying he'd like to see Zelda as Links girlfriend in oot?! The whole ending of the game literally being set up like a romance film with a break up and a reunion!?) you can't tell me Nintendo never intended anything romantic to come from them. And using this I still feel in the right to ship them in a non AU way.

But because of how the situation is, I no longer like Oot as much as I used to. It was once the greatest game ever to me and I still objectively consider it as such, but it isn't as it used to be for me. Sometimes I even wish It didn't exist (though that would be a great injustice to the world if it didn't), because it upsets me too much. I hate seeing my childhood friend die and not get what he deserves. I detest the tragic oot Zelink path (though I do not mean to tell anyone that they shouldn't like it - this is just my personal experience and I get why others like it).

I do like some other things that are tragic - I mean one of my favorite films is Titanic, but I guess I grew up with those things already being tragic (imagine Titanic not being tragic! A literal historical disaster!)

It is shocking how much a simple thing like a ship and a character's fate can affect you mentally. Things that are part of your childhood, even fictional stories, can shape you quite strongly.

So yes, sometimes I hate this ship. Sometimes I love it, but when I love it, I usually need to be far away from the fandom.

I wonder if anyone else feels that way about this or another ship?

[jakeperalta]

I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)

[cozylittleartblog]

not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him

[snsnsuo]

rise is always fun to rewatch for me because of its attention to design details. these screenshots are from the bug busters episode. look at his battle shell: we see in these shots that it's designed to be flexible and not constraining for his movement

if you ever held a mango cut like this, you'll get the idea of how donnie's battle shell works

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

[inkskinned]

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

[spookberry]

Idiot to Idiot communication

[zuzu-draws]

Just a pair of friendly sorcerers out on a stroll~

[redysetdare]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[t4transsexual]

the amount of trans people i see who are scared to identify as straight is mind boggling. like people who will explicitly say that they are scared to identify as straight. i can only amount it to the growing preceived divide between being straight and being queer, where people arent learning that you CAN be both if youre trans. and ive experienced a lot of hostility just for being an opinionated straight trans guy on this app. like i dont care if you dont think this is a "real problem," i do. i think queer people should be free to feel comfortable in their identity, and if that identity is het-leaning, heterosapphic, het-dyke, hetgay, queerhet, transhet, or literally just straight and heterosexual, they should be free to

[cutiesigh]

❤️🖤🩷

Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!

[twinstxrs]

idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

[temeyes]

simon riley, ang panget mo talaga (affectionate)

[chanrizard]

DominATE World Tour ✧ SEOUL D-2 (240825) ending ment

© OVERHEAT915

[theeretblr]

I have the opportunity to do something really funny. I have now done all the things I'd need to do before starting HRT. However, I need to decide when I start.

Tomorrow, March 31st, is the International Day of Transgender Visibility. HOWEVER, the day after is April Fools. I can't decide which day would be better to start taking estrogen! Which would be better or funnier? 🤔