#this is making Nikki look bad I literally think about Nikki 24/7 and he never shows up

[glitteronadumpsterfire]

This is like the fifth time I had a dream about Tommy being my bf and I don't know how to feel about that

[tvwriteups]

ESC 2021 GF

Opening was okay. Think that's the largest the stage has looked.

Watching on PeacockTV. No commentary. This time I'm watching through my speakers and not through headphones. Not gonna do a rundown since a lot of the songs are familiar.

I did not watch any of the big 5 or the Dutch rehearsal/jury videos so I'll be watching those whole for the first time. (I probably should have watched them. Oops. Too late now!)

I really have no idea who will win. Kind of makes it exciting!

What's a little weird with my setup is how much "sharper" the music sounds on my speakers.

Let the Grand Final of the ESC begin!

1. Cyprus

2. Albania

3. Israel

4. Belgium

What's funny for me here is that the Belgian song is growing on me on this third listen. I like it more each time. (This might actually make my Eurovision AND Hooverphonic playlist!) With the other songs I was... like I didn't feel the level of "excitement" I felt when I watched them earlier this week.

5. Russia

Oh yeah! This is another one I'm liking more on a second viewing. I like her expressiveness. This is never not interesting. And an enthusiastic response there.

6. Malta

Maltese Lizzo. I know this is very popular with the ESC crowd and I get it but it doesn't personally register with me. I think it's the speed. It's like the same fast speed and mostly same level of "noise." Crowd really loooooves it though. Might just be my own autistic sound processing issues.

7. Portugal

I still am impressed with how well-structured this is. I'll probably forget the song next week but when it was being performed I never lost interest.

8. Serbia

They seem so wholesome in their postcard. Hmm, singing doesn't sound as good on my speakers. This is like the first 3 songs for me.

And now a break.

Kind of sucks performing early because it hurts you with the vote but at least you get to sit back easy and watch the rest of the show.

I still feel very conflicted about how to feel about Junior ESC. Lots of pressure to put on children.

Jamala, Emmelie de Forest, Duncan Laurence on where they keep their awards... nope, Nikkie, I'm not gonna check out the live blog. I like the ESC but even I have to draw a line somewhere.

9. United Kingdom

First time watching. I don't understand these British songwriters who perform their own songs and yet... like, it doesn't sound ideally suited to their own voices. It was okay but it's another one I'll forget in a week.

10. Greece

Well, I didn't get to watch this properly the first time so here goes: I don't like the huge reliance on effects but it's BEHIND her so it's completely acceptable to me. I think this would've worked better for me if the dancing was "more [active?]" since it's a fast song about dancing.

The hosts briefly have to tell us something for some reason.

Hmm, apparently a lot of my sound issue is that the rear speakers are coming through louder.

11. Switzerland

This is playing much better for me today than it did the other day. The overall performance is better. I don't like the epilepsy-inducing light though. That's my only complaint. Well done!

12. Iceland

Well, literally the same exact performance we watched the other day but it was fun so... and my viewing experience is slightly different so... Hmm.. what I'm really feeling right now is a song placement thing. We went from intense to chill and that energy change is a bit much for me.

13. Spain

This song does not have a strong hook. I ... can't remember the song and it only just finished.

14. Moldova

I honestly don't think this song would've made it through the first SF. I just don't care for it. I think I spent most of the performance looking at the dancers when that was an option.

15. Germany

This feels like a cross between a Moldovan and a San Marino entry. I dunno, I enjoyed it. I wouldn't watch it again though.

I do also understand that part of watching this as an American is that I don't ever have to feel embarrassment that I'm being represented through any of these performances.

16. Finland

Now that I know that this is like this I'm totally not interested. I'd probably feel very differently if I was in the same space as these guys because it's a SHOW!

And another break. Oh, the broadcaster boxes. I always assume that they're going to harass Graham Norton but they're actually visiting the Danes right now. And the Russians.

Hosts talking about orchestras now.

17. Bulgaria

I remember this postcard from the other day because of the menagerie this girl has. This song is also growing on me. I was confused about the lyrics the other day but now am experiencing them as playful. Feeling the "production" of this one.

18. Lithuania

It's hard for me because I really liked "On Fire." I'm really enjoying this the second time and a really great, entertaining performance. And maybe it's in a better place during the night.

Hosts talking about the app. They're really hammering this whole "clap along" thing (which I haven't found on the app because I'm probably too old to care).

19. Ukraine

This song is a trip. Bangy-est banger of the night. You just never know.

20. France

You know, this comes off as something the juries would love to award. Damn, girl! You know, I wasn't impressed when they showed the short clip at the end of the SF. You really have to watch the whole thing.

21. Azerbaijan

Seems more appropriate to sing about Mata Hari than Cleopatra in the Netherlands when you think about it. It could be because I've already seen this before but I'm still processing France. There's also something about this staging that makes them look small on the stage to me.

22. Norway

I don't know why I find him adorable but I do. This song feels like a hug. (Or it's the "feathers." LOL)

Mini-break about what's upcoming.

23. The Netherlands

I was into it until the last 30 when it got really repetitive but that's still an overall like.

24. Italy

I really can't predict anything. I dig this but we've sort of filled a quota for intensity for the night.

25. Sweden

I'm just kind of like....of course Sweden has the Rijksmuseum postcard. It's like the most recognizable place in all of these postcards. And be near the end of the show. I'll be honest: I'm just predisposed to be against Sweden. Ugh, epilepsy light. I can't even look at the screen. Also, I liked Russia's "A Million Voices" in 2015. I'm guessing this song did not look like this at Melodifestivalen because it's really looking terrible on my tv. This is the worst visual presentation of the night.

26. San Marino

Honestly wondering how well San Marino is gonna finish this year. This felt more awesome the first time. Well, also Flo Rida delightfully surprised me the first time.

And how our hosts telling us about the importance of voting. I have no idea how these are going to pan out. I just know that if I was voting I think I'd throw my votes at Ukraine and France...while feeling bad that I'm not throwing some at Bulgaria, Iceland, Lithuania or Switzerland. (I also liked Russia but I wouldn't vote for them.) I mean, I liked Italy but... I don't know. I think I ran out of energy by then.

Really think it's that Ukraine and France just zapped my energy for energetic songs. The only one I felt after those was the hug of Norway. Or maybe Norway lulled me. LOL.

Would be interested in the televotes for some of these countries.

Recap. Ooof. France doesn't work in short recap clip.

"Music Binds Us"....because we've heard of Afrojack here. I swear every other major city has one of those bridges. I'd otherwise dig this but we've had so much intense music tonight.

I'm guessing we're listening to "Titanium" because Afrojack wrote and produced it.

I'm sitting here wondering if ANYONE is going to vote for the UK at all. Or, really, how many of the Big 5 are going to be in the Bottom 5.

Another recap.

Another Nikkie ESC Tutorial segment. This is actually kind of annoying.

And now a behind-the-scenes montage while the voting numbers are displayed at the bottom.

Catching up with past winners now.

ESC honoring itself again. Enjoying how much they're not overemphasizing the whole "in front of a live audience" stuff like they were doing the other nights.

Another recap.

Oddly, I think Moldova annoys me the most. It feels like the emptiest song in the final.

How quickly are they going to burn through the votes. It's already feeling like this show is long.

65th anniversary stuff. Rock the Roof. Måns again. I don't like this song. I think 2015 was a great overall year (even if I was able to predict the top 10 (except for Latvia) but I still listen to a lot of songs from that year... just not "Heroes." I resent that I have to hear it every year now.

Teach-In....because Dutch and because we need a song with 'Ding" and "Dong" in it.

SANDRA KIM!!!!!!!! Forever the youngest winner of this contest.

Lenny Kuhr.

Helena Paparizou. LOL, totally sticking to the choreo.

Lordi. Probably had to choose their roof first to get the permission to shoot the pyro off it.

So are they saving Duncan Laurence for when they calculate the votes? It feels like the voting window has been open forever now. I keep looking for a countdown clock.

This sounds like a way of saying Duncan Laurence has tested positive for COVID without saying that he tested positive for COVID.

Are they emphasizing that the Netherlands is below sea level?

New song... I'll take anything as long as it's not "Nana Banana."

The voting still isn't closed!

Oh, they have a special countdown dance is why. How very Paparizou of them.

Oh, that weird part where they banter with the delegations.

Malta. Just Malta?

Martin Österdahl. Because Swedes. Jury time. I forgot that revealing votes this way eliminates the performances during the vote calculation. They calculate the televote during the jury stuff.

Jury Votes

Israel, the least popular child in the room right now gives their 12 points to Switzerland.

Poland goes to San Marino.

San Marino goes to France.

Albania to Switzerland.

Malta to Albania.

These are going all over the place. But then it's juries.

Estonia's 12 to Switzerland.

Switzerland and France popular with juries so far.

North Macedonia to Serbia.

Recap. Switzerland, France and Italy in the Top 3.

Els and Nikki or however you spell their names. Azerbaijan throws their points at Russia of course.

Norway to....Malta.

Spain to France.

Austria to Iceland.

Ooof, UK, Spain and Norway totally blanked right now.

The UK....with Amanda Holden...and 12 points for France.

Italy gives its 12 points to Lithuania. No points for Switzerland from them!

Now it's just the UK blank.

Slovenia to Italy.

Juries don't like Ukraine. :-(

Greece...making us try not to boo by having a child tell us that the points are going to Cyprus.

Latvia with Aminata of course. 12 points go to Switzerland.

Ireland to France.

Moldova epic saxing us. Epic saxing Bulgaria too.

Serbia to France.

Bulgaria to Moldova. Ugh.

Cyprus ...should've used a child. Even the crowd is all "Greece, duh."

Belgium to Switzerland. It's almost like they have something against France, LOL.

Banter with Switzerland. Banter with France. No cringe. Practically no cringe in these interviews. They're adorable.

On a side note, my HVAC is dying on a 90 degree day.

Germany to France.

UK still sitting on a jury egg.

Australia to Malta.

Finland to Switzerland.

Portugal to Bulgaria.

Ukraine to Italy. Love the 0 points to Russia there.

Iceland. LOL. LOL. LOL. Of course a "Jaja Ding Dong" reference. Switzerland for them.

Romania to Malta.

Without televotes this stuff is almost meaningless. I can't imagine France getting the televotes.

Croatia to Italy.

Czech Republic to...like who would they.. oh Portugal. Of course. LOL.

Georgia to Italy.

Lithuania to Ukraine.

Denmark to Switzerland.

Top 5: Switzerland, France, Malta, Italy and Iceland.

"A Million Voices" Polina telling us Russia is giving their points to Moldova. Lots of side-eye from me.

France can't give points to themself so.... Greece. I... I... don't know.

Sweden with Carola. OMG Carola....why so much talking? Did she take something? Or drink something? She's on something. Gives their points to Malta.

Switzerland gives point to France. Most anticlimatic points reveal.

The Netherlands gives its points to France.

UK with ZERO points from juries.

Switzerland, France, Malta, Italy, Iceland.

We don't see the jury performances so...like... I dunno.

Gonna waste time in the Green Room again before the televote reveal. Talking with Switzerland... meaning that Gjon gets to replace John Lundvik as the face of losing if they don't get enough votes.

TELEVOTE TIME!

I hope this goes fast. And they're revealing these in the order of jury votes, least to most. So maybe a different face of losing.

UK with 0 points. OUCH! And they didn't genocide anyone this year! James Newman being a sport.

Germany with 0 points.

Spain with 0 points.

Netherlands with 0 points.

LMAO. I don't think I've ever seen this.

Norway with 60 points.

Serbia with 82 points.

Albania with 35 points.

Azerbaijan with 33 points.

San Marino with 13 points...even with Flo Rida!!!

Sweden with 63 points?

Cyprus with 44 points.

Moldova with 62 points.

Lithuania with 165 points!!!

Belgium with 3 points. Hooverphonic with only 3 points. Better than zero. But totally a jury thing their SF result was.

20 points to Israel.

Finland with 218. Shocker that. For me. Not the public, of course. Now in first.

Greece with 79 points.

Ukraine with 267. Into the lead.

Russia with 100 points.

Portugal with 27.

Bulgaria with 30 points.

Iceland with 180 points...and in 1st.

Italy with 318 points.

Malta with 47 points.

France with 251 points. Into 2nd.

Switzerland with 160 points.

Winner is Italy. So Switzerland is the new face of losing.

Televote alone it's Italy, Ukraine, France, Finland, Iceland, Lithuania, Switzerland, and Russia with 100 or more points. Serbia and Greece rounding out the top 10 in televote.

Surprised and delighted that the public gave all those votes to France. I was not expecting that at all.

In the breakdowns I really would like to see if their are any public correlations between folks who votes Italy/Finland or France/Switzerland.

[manuelmueller]

pls... do ALL OF IT FOR NUELE

oof fam ooof (jk i LOVE THEM) (i crossed out a few that i had no idea how to answer or wasn’t bothered but OTHER THAN THAT) (yes all those 300 word questions kinda became a short fic you can read on ao3 here)

–––––– I tried to put this under a cut but it kept fucking up so HERE I GUESS

1. What are things they both find funny?

Little things. Weird tweets from their teammates. Leon stumbling over his shoelaces. The way Sven gets exasperated with them so quickly. A leaf blowing straight into someone’s face. Everything can make them giggle, pretty much, cause they make each other gleeful, giggly, bubbling AHHHHHH

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be? “Nikki is … he’s my person.” – “Alex made me realize that love can be wonderful, and kind, and fulfilling, and everything, and I love him.”

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say? Alex would talk about Nikki’s wide smile, his enthusiasm and his unbroken optimism despite going through some shit, his kinda heart and his sunshine personality. Nikki would mention Alex’ resilience, the way how he rises above the shit people talk about him and how he came out being a great person still. Also, the way his chuckles sound in the morning and the way his hair looks like spun copper in sunlight and the freckles on his cheeks and shoulders.

4. What would be their ship name? NÜLE we did a great job pairing up two of the very few dudes who have an ü in their last name huh

5. What activities do they enjoy together? Football (duh), watching dumb TV shows they can laugh at together. Cuddling on the couch. Cooking. Accompanying the other on his respective hobby and whining about how silly it is (Alex goes fishing, Nikki plays golf) but yet loving every second they get to spend with their s/o doing what they love. Also actually another couple they’re friends with kinda drags them hiking sometimes and they actually kinda like it, too.

6. What is/are their love language(s)? Actually probably it’s Quality Time for them both tbh (you could change my mind, tho)

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

READ HERE

8. What were their first impressions of each other? ‘Yeah he’s a talented goalie, I wouldn’t mind to play in his defense .... oh shit is he smiling? He’s smiling. Oh fuck he’s so cute, I’m so gay, help. heLP’ – ‘Süle? Oh yeah, I’ve heard a lot about him. I mean, how could I have not? It’s in my job description to know about the best defenders. Can’t believe it took us so long to meet in person, tho. Nikki it is, okay. Wow, I’m .... is that a spark that I’m feeling? Sure, great idea, develop a crush on your first day on a new team, well done. Is it a crush? (a month later) yep, definitely a crush’

9. Have they made each other cry? with HAPPINESS, yeah

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

READ HERE

11. What causes them to fight? Genuinely can’t picture them fighting, but probably more like jokingly arguing about chores like who should take out the trash. Also football can cause a strain too, I mean, sometimes they lose games and either of them or both are partially to blame and while they’d never blame each other even if it’s true, the unspoken dissatisfaction hovering in the air between them can cause things to be quite awkward for a few hours and one night.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

13. Name something they would never do for the other person. Lose any kind of game – as athletes they’re quite competitive, even when it comes to board games and the like. Tho they’re not above conceding when it’s obvious they loose.

14. What would be a dealbreaker? Sharing the other’s secrets to someone the other doesn’t trust enough, and also not liking pets (luckily they do)

15. What are traits they dislike in one another? Nikki gets a bit reckless sometimes. Drinking too much, doing vaguely dangerous things cause he’s excited and hyped with his friends (why the heck would you climb on that shed when it’s too high to jump down and you don’t have a ladder?? you already have bad knees, Nikki!) and Alex Worries, ok? Alex on the other hand can get quite broody and taciturn when he’s not okay, not sharing what bothers him even when Nikki asks. Nikki just wants to help, but being stubborn is a goalkeeper thing

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other? Nikki thinks of Alex on windy but bright spring days, and whenever he smells his shower gel. Alex’ rumbling laugh causes the butterflies on his stomach to flutter their wings, and his bare hands when he just pulls his glove on seem to be made to be settled on Nikki’s arms, his shoulder, his waist. Nikki to Alex is a freshly cut pitch, petrichor raising from the streets in summer, warm coca cola from a bottle left outside and forgotten. He’s a sunrise, a smile flashed over the shoulder, a laugh shared with Leon, Jo, Serge, Thomas …

18. What would be their love motto?

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be? “Alex, you taught me everything I know about love. You taught to forgive, to move on and I found a forever home in you.” – “I feel the sun rise every time I hear your laugh, bean, I feel born anew every time I reach for your hand and you take it. I would still be adrift without it.”

20. What is a promise they have made to each other? That they will never let get football between them. No jealousy if one is called up for the NT and one isn’t. If they ever played for rival clubs, they wouldn’t let it get between them. If something happens during a game, it in the end won’t be a factor in their private life. It’s hard sometimes, cause they’re only human, but a vow to try and to resolve things is the best they can do, and they always do

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse? They’re each other’s first boyfriend – Nikki especially has been disappointed/rejected when confessing his feelings before, so he’s really a bit reluctant when opening up to Alex, and Alex does everything he can to make him open up more again on that level and succeeds at it too. Nikki is just a constant sunshine in Alex’ life, who after announcing his transfer didn’t have the easiest time, so it’s really great to have someone who makes him remember the light-heartedness life can have when you spend it with the right people. And well, they both grow quite chatty around each other, and have been shushed by quite a few people who just want to sleep on the bus ride … (from here)

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love? Who can even tell? Who knows if they were both supposed to end up at Bayern. Who knows if they wouldn’t have had someone else from the beginning. When they were born, neither of their families probably expected to have a son-in-law instead of a daughter in law. But they’re happy with the life they got. Happy they got each other. Cause they won’t have it any other way anymore

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

READ HERE

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for? Again, football, when either of them fucks up during a get. pride is a difficult thing to best, sometimes, but they’re learning

25. What moves do they know work on the other? Alex knows exactly how to let his voice dip, knows how to touch Nikki’s waist to make him know, knows what to say and when only uses his voice with deliberation. Nikki is a bit more thoughtless in his approach, often just communicating his appeal unbeknownst to him, because Alex loves him most in those moments when he’s just free, simply himself, laughing and smiling and so beautiful. He doesn’t need to do anything, really, tho if he does, a look is enough.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex? Literally just being close and warm and at home and ofc the thrill of sharing that all not with a stranger you barely know but with someone who knows you inside and out :3 (pun fully intended, in this case)

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share? Nikki is really into Alex’ voice. Like really into it. That deep yet soft voice always makes his spine tingle and his stomach hop and other …. areas interested, as well :3c He also likes Alex’ back especially when it arches so delicately Alex really like Nikki’s tattoos, he’s absolutely fascinated by them and sometimes maybe even wishes Nikki had a few more – tho that’s not a kink really, is it. But they just complete the perfect package that is his boyfriend :’3 But no, in general they keep it pretty vanilla for now, just getting comfortable with each other, learning each other, studying with eyes, hands, lips

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

READ HERE

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves? Alex whispers hushed words into Nikki’s neck, kisses his jawline, lets his hands ran up and down Nikki’s side, skilled, gentle yet insistent and talking of what’s yet to come, teasing and nipping before finally reaching down, creating the contact that Nikki wanted for so long. Nikki lets his hands simply rest on Alex’ hips, his shoulders, his heck, warm and familiar and hot and hotter with every second as he steals kiss after kiss before sliding down, sitting before him, leaning in …

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them. “Alex?” “Bean?” “You look so good. Do you have any idea how good you look?” laughs “Bean, you’re drunk” frowns “Ok, maybe a little. But I love you, you know? I wanna lick you all over.” blushes a bit “Nikki, everyone’s looking.” “Nah, they’re all busy drinking. Dancing. Probably fucking in the storage closet, in some cases” he giggles. they both know who he’s talking about. he puts his chin on Alex’ shoulder “Wanna get out of here?” “Now?” “Hmm.” he kisses his neck, licks gently behind his ear “no one will care. please. let me.” “Yeah? Well, bean, then who am I to deny you” THIS SUCKS!!!

31. What do they love to do after sex? They often just lay there face to face, noses almost touching, eyes almost falling close as they exchange light, playful pecks, hands entwined, legs a tangled mess. It’s all really cute and mushy but they wouldn’t have it any other way – also! laughing!! There’s a lot of cheerful, content giggling especially in the afterglow as they are still entangled in the sleepiness and the amazing feeling of just being together. (from here)

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex? They both quickly wake up in the morning, ready to face the day, but yet … there’s nothing better than half-sleepy morning sex, smiling and tasting the fresh air and each other’s morning breath because of the familiarity, the comfort of gazing upon each other drenched in the first sunlight, not hidden away by shadows. This is real. This is them.

[fromtheringapron]

WWE SummerSlam 2016

Date: August 21, 2016.

Location: The Barclay Center in Brooklyn, New York. 

Attendance: 15,974

Commentary: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves (Raw). Mauro Renallo, John “Bradshaw” Layfield, and David Otunga (SmackDown). 

Results: 

Kickoff Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey), The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder), and American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) defeated Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze), The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor), and The Vaudevillains (Simon Gotch and Aiden English. 

Kickoff Match: Sami Zayn and Neville defeated The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von). 

Kickoff Match, First in a Best of Seven Series: Sheamus defeated Cesaro. 

1. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens defeated Enzo Amore and Big Cass. 

2. Raw Women’s Championship Match: Charlotte defeated Sasha Banks (champion) to win the title. 

3. Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (champion) (with Maryse) defeated Apollo Crews. 

4. AJ Styles defeated John Cena. 

5. WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson defeated The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) (champions) via disqualification.

6. WWE Championship Match: Dean Ambrose (champion) defeated Dolph Ziggler. 

7. Nikki Bella, Natalya, and Alexa Bliss defeated Naomi, Carmella, and Becky Lynch. 

8. WWE Universal Championship Match: Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins to become the inaugural champion. 

9. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) defeated Randy Orton via knockout. 

My Review

SummerSlam 2016 is one long ass show. I’m aware that’s a bit of a redundant statement because, in the age of the WWE Network, every show is long and, more often than not, they’re also ass. However, the point still stands: this show is a whopping 4 hours and it’s not something you can digest in one sitting on a rewatch. For the record, I totally support making the SummerSlams and Survivor Series and so on seem just as big and important as WrestleMania. It’s fine by me for WWE’s Big 4 to feature absolutely stacked cards. Unfortunately, in modern WWE, this approach also results in the shows running out of gas midway through and some of the matches going on way longer than they should. The 2016 edition of the summer classic isn’t exactly the worst example of this trend, but it definitely shows similar signs of fatigue.

On top of that, it’s such a heel-dominated show. It’s only occasionally satisfying. In their crusade to make the audience finally embrace Roman Reigns, the WWE would pile on the heel victories in hopes the crowd would pop like crazy once the Big Dog got the W in the main event. It’s inherently flawed psychology to think the crowd is just going to accept a long-awaited face win from just anybody. That can really only work in a particular situation. Needless to say, it often failed because while Roman would get the W, the crowd still hated him. Worse here is that he doesn’t even wrestle on this show. So who was this booking supposed to benefit? I guess you could make the argument for Finn Balor, whose Universal title win remains a highlight of his WWE tenure. Even then, it was rendered irrelevant 24 hours later, as Balor would vacate the title due to injury.

With all that in mind, it shouldn’t be surprising that such a heel-heavy show ends on a rather depressing note. Brock Lesnar pummels Randy Orton into a bloody mess and that’s it. That’s the show. Fade to black. It would’ve been fine if placed somewhere in the middle of the card, but it’s such an awkward way to close up shop. They did have a pretty workable story going into the match, and I’m not gonna pass up the rare occasion to see Orton get beaten into oblivion, but talk about deflating. The whole thing winds up looking like a pale imitation of Lesnar’s squash of John Cena back at SummerSlam 2014. Oh, and there’s some drama with Shane McMahon at the end because, as we all know, that’s exactly what the WWE needs: more McMahon family drama!

The far more successful dream match is John Cena vs AJ Styles. Truly something special. It’s essentially the same finishing move and near-fall spam fest that plagues every major WWE main event, but I don’t mind it here. This is meant to be an epic blockbuster between two of the biggest stars in wrestling of the post-Monday Night War era. It makes perfect sense for both guys to throw all of their deadliest ammunition at each other right out of the gate. Styles was in the midst of one of the hottest stretches of his career at this point, but Cena deserves just as much credit here. It’s kind of amazing. For all the times he’s proven that he can rise to the occasion in a big match situation, there are still anti-Cena bros to this day who’ll deny it every step of the way. His record of putting people over isn’t perfect, especially at SummerSlam, but what he does for AJ here is pretty selfless. I don’t think even his haters can deny that.

Overall, SummerSlam 2016 isn’t a bad show by any means but, again, the length ensures it will inevitably start to drag. A shame, because there’s probably a pretty good show somewhere in here. It’s nice that the WWE is trying to make the biggest party of the summer feel important, but too much partying can make even the most diehard fan eventually feel pooped. 

My Random Notes

I can only imagine what someone like Jon Stewart really thinks of WWE’s comedy. I mean, he’s probably had plenty of experience doing his best with bad material, but you’d have to think he had to grin and bear it here at several points.

In light of Sasha Banks’ recent spat with the company, I can really see why she’d be frustrated with her booking. Would it have killed them to have her hold the Women’s title for longer than a month? I know an injury is cited as the official reason she dropped the belt here, but it’s still the first of several instances of them yanking the rug out from under her.

Man, Enzo and Cass were so frickin’ over. They’re such laughing stocks now that it’s quickly become lost to time how much the fans were digging them. Of course, they only have themselves to blame for fucking it all up, but they really did have something special there for a bit. 

Dean Ambrose in his black torn shirt gives me some serious Bobby Heenan singlet vibes.

Funny how the pre-match hype package for Dean vs. Dolph centers so much around who Dolph Ziggler is because, as I’ve stated here previously, I still have no frickin’ idea who Dolph is supposed to be. He’s some anonymous hybrid of HBK, Mr. Perfect, Billy Gunn, and an ‘80s Trapper Keeper with literally no individuality. I find it ironic that he later got into a storyline where he kept changing gimmicks only to never find anything of his own. What a summary of his entire WWE career.

Hey, Balor may have had to surrender the title 24 hours later, but at least this meant him getting another run with the belt in the future, right? Right?!?

Man, Nikki Bella was so frickin’ over. Why does it feel like I’m repeating myself? In all seriousness though, people can hate on the Bellas all they want, but in no way should it be surprising that they still get big pops. They’ve done more for WWE’s mainstream visibility than a lot of other superstars allegedly have.

Speaking of Nikki, crazy to think that she’s only one in the six-woman tag to not hold the Smackdown Women’s title.

I can’t be the only one who felt a little kick to gut when they showed fans waiting outside the now-deceased Toys R Us. I don’t need another reminder that my childhood is dead.

When did Lana drop the accent? I don’t watch Raw and Smackdown weekly anymore, but it horrifies me to know I let this travesty pass me by.

I know some people were upset they allowed The New Day to surpass Demolition’s record for the longest reign as tag champs but I’m totally okay with the decision. Sure, they occasionally get into terrible storylines like this ringpostitis shit, but they’re incredibly over, sell a ton of merchandise, and can wring out some entertainment from even the worst material. If they really wanted to insult Demolition, they should’ve given that honor to The Ascension.

[hazyheel]

WWE Smackdown Live 6/11/19 Review

We started with a rendition of Miz TV. Miz had a new shirt of his dad having his fists up at Wrestlemania, and I guess he was being forced to host this edition. He was reading off of a literal script for Shane. He kept saying best in the world wrong for a laugh, but it wasn’t much of anything. Shane then came out with Drew McIntyre and Elias. Elias was the musical guest, and the crowd chanted you suck at him. Miz called out Shane for having only tainted wins, which Shane didn’t seem to care about. Mcintyre talked about how he would beat Roman at stomping ground. Miz pointed out that McIntyre is wasting his potential by being Shane’s lackey, which makes a lot of sense. Shane and Miz started to hurl insults at each other, and nearly came to blows. Shane challenged Miz to a gauntlet match. If he could beat both Elias and McIntyre, then he could fight Shane. 

So, we went right into the matches, starting with Miz vs. Elias. This was the match where I noticed that Miz doesn’t do the corner dropkicks like Daniel Bryan anymore, but he does corner knees. Interesting way to make the move his own, and to transition into a face role. Miz quickly took care of Elias by dodging an elbow drop and hitting the skull crushing finale for three. 

He then fought Drew McIntyre. Miz was actually brutally beating down McIntyre for a lot of this match, such as a super stiff baseball slide and a brawl on the outside. At one point, Miz went for the skull crushing finale, but Shane distracted him, so McIntyre could get the Glasgow kiss, and then a claymore for the win. 

After that happened, Shane said that he would still fight Miz. There was actually a bit of back and forth until Shane locked in a triangle for the win. 

Grade: B-. I wasn’t sure about putting this whole segment on the positive side, but I think the matches were mostly fine, and the heel work from Shane at the end there was really good. So yeah, I’ll give this a B-. I normally don’t like the style of heel that Shane is, smarmy but also not quite good enough at being smarmy. But this was probably his best work, challenging a beaten down Miz like that. I liked it, especially how happy he was that he is now 3-0 over Miz. That record is bullshit and shouldn’t exist, but at least it’s because Shane is being a dick. 

Backstage, Ember Moon talked to Fire and Desire while she was playing on a switch. They told her to focus on a real life superhero like Mandy Rose, and then smacked the switch out of her hand and left. Moon was pissed and threw some stuff.

Then we had the Planets Tag Team Champions. Daniel Bryan said that there would be a title match, against a couple Jobbers holding cardboard titles. But before they got going, Heavy Machinery came out to interrupt. Heavy Machinery said that they were ducking the challenge for the belts. So, Daniel Bryan said that if they can beat the jobbers, they will get a title match. Heavy Machinery won quickly with the compactor.

Grade: C. Yeah this was an inoffensive squash match, but I’m also rewinding the grade a bit because Heavy Machinery was off TV for so long and are now just getting a title match. That is BS, but they are certainly the team that should get it. 

Backstage, R-Truth and Carmella were talking about how terrible being the 24/7 champion was. He said that he pinned Jinder on a plane 49,000 feet celsius, that was funny. Carmella heard someone coming, so she told Truth to get in a box. It turned out only to be a production guy, but the case locked and Carmella had to leave for a match with Sonya Deville. So she left, and Jinder showed up and tried to open it, pretending to be Carmella as he did, So this was the 24/7 shenanigans of the evening, and I was into it. 

So we came back to the match between Carmella and Sonya Deville. At one point, Carmella locked in the code of silence, but Rose put Deville’s foot on the rope to break things up. She chased Rose around, but Deville caught her with a brutal knee to the stomach for a near fall. Carmella then threw Deville out of the ring, and gave both women a suicide dive, hitting Rose with an extra superkick. As Carmella went back in, Deville hit a step up knee for the win.

Grade: C-. Lots of interference, and it was not wrestled the best. I really don’t care much for this feud, and it seems just to be a placeholder before fire and desire break up. So not a great match, and I think it’d be much better if Carmella was actually involved in the 24/7 championship picture.

So then we had Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross backstage. Bliss told Cross that a bunch of people were being mean to her on social media, and that Bayley liked one of them. She said that Bayley is the same as everyone who calls Cross names. She told Cross not to hold back during her match with Bayley. I like how Bliss is manipulating Cross here, it is good. I wish it was someone who wasn’t supposed to be a crazy person, but its fine.

Then we the return of Big E, ahead of the 6-man tag later on. New Day cut a promo and they joked about how if Big E had a title run for every time that he returned, he would be Charlotte Flair. Kofi said it was a booking joke, and Woods cut him off by talking about their match. They talked about how Kofi has beaten all of their opponents at one point or another. Ziggler interrupted, and talked about how Kofi cheated to beat him at super showdown. Kofi just said that it was revenge for Ziggler kicking Woods earlier in the match, but then Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn interrupted. Zayn and Owens said that it was injustice, and I found it was difficult to disagree with the heels here. Zayn said that the rules are more important than who the fans like. Zayn called the fans hypocrites, and I kinda get where he is coming from. Big E then put over Kingston and defended him, and Kofi told him that he won’t have any more excuses after the steel cage match. 

Grade: C. Everyone could talk in this segment, but it was very filler, and the heels were being perfectly reasonable. A heel promo that really makes the good guys look like the bad guys are a problem. Ziggler has every right to be mad, Kofi did cheat. So it’s difficult to say he is in the wrong.

Then we had Bayley backstage, being asked about Bliss manipulating Cross, and Bayley just didn’t care.

Then we had Aleister Black continuing to offer an open challenge. He had someone open the door, and shout out of it, saying that the door is wide open. Black is so much better than this. 

We went right into Bayley vs. Nikki Cross. They were brawling right at the bell. At one point, Bayley went for the dropkick under the corner on the outside, but Cross trapped her behind the apron and beat her down. Bliss did get involved minorly at one point, distracting her and allowing Cross to get a cradle for a near fall. Bayley got the win with the elbow drop, staring right at Bliss when she did.

Grade: C+. Match didn’t have much to it, but I did like how Bayley looked right at Bliss when she hit the finish. Other than that this was a nothing match.

Jinder went back to get Truth out of the box, but it was gone. Truth was still in the box, and he was getting shipped to LA in the box. 

24/7 stuff: B-. Not nearly as funny as the stuff on Raw, but still good. I like this gag, and it’ll be resolved on monday. 

Then we had Apollo Crews being interviewed about the attack from Andrade last week. Zelina Vega showed up to run him down, and told Crews to stay away from Andrade. Then randomly, Chad Gable was there taking notes. I-I don’t know why.

And into the main event, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn and Dolph Ziggler vs. the New Day.  A lot of fast paced action here, and oddly enough Kingston was normally the one on the backfoot. At one point, Woods went up for the limit breaker, but Ziggler crotched him on the top rope. On commentary, Graves emphasized the fact that the face commentators are always okay with the faces cheating, which I though was quite interesting. At one point, Kevin Owens hit a moonsault for a near fall, and I would love to see that move enter his arsenal more. Big E had a huge hot tag during the match, destroying Ziggler with suplexes and a splash. Ziggler blind tagged in Zayn, who held Kofi for a superkick. Kofi dodged so it hit Zayn, and Kofi nailed Ziggler with a trouble in paradise, followed by another one to Zayn for the win.

Grade: B-. Fast paced action and a good pickup for Kofi. I might’ve preferred to see Big E pick up the win, but I will never argue with making a champion strong. Good stuff here, and the match of the night. 

Also, something I noticed that happened tonight was that on commentary, they keep mentioning how WWE is the only “cross cultural” sports entertainment company in the world. So that is them taking pot shots at AEW. 

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: nothing overtly good, but i thought that Graves gave a good commentary performance. 

Cons: Heavy Machinery hasn’t been on the show; carmella vs. deville; filler promo

[tkmedia]

Raw recap & reactions: The Hurt Business, New Day go to war

Big Poppa I love an overarching thread with multiple twists, turns, and a logical conclusion. Monday Night Raw set it off this week with a match pitting WWE Champion Big E vs Bobby Lashley. Lashley truly believes E can’t beat him, which explains all the rationalization he’s done since the All Mighty added “former WWE Champion” to his resume. Their opening match, which was ill in all the right ways, showcased a dominant Lashley and the reinstatement of the Hurt Business. Yes, ladies and gents, the Hurt Business is apparently back in business. Once Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander made their presence known, Xavier Woods and Kofi Kington stepped in. A brawl ensued, a DQ was handed out, and it was the best kind of chaos. Adam Pearce, clearly not a fan of anything he saw, said the match would continue later tonight in a steel cage. No Hurt Business, no New Day. Just Lashley x E trapped in twisted steel. These two cats didn’t disappoint. Besides the brutality of the match, it was the clear desperation both men showed. Bobby Lashley needed to beat E to prove his point. Before the bell rang, got all of the upper hands on the champ. Lashley didn’t want to leave anything to chance and wanted every advantage he could muster. If that meant tossing E around the floor before the match officially started, then so be it. If that meant calling the Hurt Business down to do business, that’s cool too. E needed to beat the All Mighty to shut him and anyone else up who believes he’s not a legitimate champion. Despite the pre-match ass whooping, E lit Lashley up like a pinball machine once the bell rang. He used the cage to his advantage every now and then, but he wanted to overpower the man. It wasn’t just about proving he was the better man; E needed to prove he was the stronger man. In every good or great wrestling match, a character flaw is shown and exploited. Early in the match, we got ours from Lashley. Rather than continue to go for pin attempts, Lashley tried climbing out. Corey Graves, a man who should make it his business to be Flava Flav to Lashley’s Chuck D, said Bobby wants to win the title in dramatic fashion. Bobby’s ego didn’t allow him to just take the W when it was right there; he had to showboat and continue his pattern of habitual line stepping. E stopped him from getting out and tried to do a Big Ending from the top rope, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Not yet anyway. We even got a tease of a Hurt Business x New Day feud I’m dying to see. When Shelton and Cedric interfered to stop the champ from climbing out, Woods and Kofi represented as they should. Woods, in particular, looked like a man who needs a belt around his waist when he slammed the cage door on Bobby Lashley’s head, and superkicked Cedric back to Main Event. No diss to the man or Main Event, but yeah, you get the point. Once the four men were finally in the locker room, E and Lashley continued their war. That desperation I mentioned showed up again as both men had chances to walk out of the gate. When Lashley tried to walk out, E grabbed his arm as many times as possible. When E looked ready to saunter out, Lashley grabbed his ankle. They were literally holding on for dear life because the title, and beating each other, means that much to them. Neither man wanted to stay down and neither could stay down. E survived a spear and a spine buster, while Lashley survived multiple suplexes and a Big Ending. But when the challenger had the champion in a precarious position, his fatal flaw reared its ugly head again. Rather than walk out the gate or go for a pinfall, he once again decided to climb out of the ring, apparently learning nothing from earlier. E caught him again and this time, he nailed the Big Ending from the top rope. 1-2-3. While basking in the moment, a familiar tune blasted out of the arena speakers and Drew McIntyre, sword in hand, made his intentions known to the champ. We didn’t get a fight—and still no swordplay—but it’s clear Drew Mac wants a fight and E is ready to give it to him. I hope this isn’t the last tango the Hurt Business and New Day do, but this was a fantastic story and match. In just a few weeks, E and Bobby told a succinct story with a logical conclusion. Well done, boys. Priest x Sheamus Get Extreme I didn’t think they’d get me. After seeing Sheamus and Damian Priest go blow for blow over the United States Championship for several weeks, I got it. Priest is better than Sheamus right now. How many times can they tell the same story? Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t put money on that because the extreme rules stipulation was the proper escalation of a feud built on physicality. As usual with most matches like this in WWE these days, they start out wrestling until one guy realizes they can use kendo sticks, chairs, and whatever plunder they can find. Chekov’s table made an early appearance thanks to the champ, and he suffered a White Noise for his troubles. In fact, with Sheamus’ history as a brawler, one might think this was the perfect match for him to finally best the Infamous one and snatch back the gold. Right? Yeah, about that. We’ve seen Priest outsmart Sheamus in their previous matches. Even last night, he was just quicker to the draw than the Celtic Warrior. This week, Priest showed he’s the better man physically as well. He survived Sheamus’ best shots, and, in my favorite spot of the night, threw a chair at the man’s face to counter a Brogue Kick. Ultimately, Sheamus met his...reckoning...after going through a table in the corner of the ring, and then taking a Reckoning. This should be the last gasp in this feud. The draft is Friday, and these two have fought each other enough. Damian needs more challengers, and Sheamus might benefit from a change of scenery. Good ending to a story that went a long way in making Damian a legit tough cat and not someone you want to mess with. Extracurriculars Words from Goldberg’s Garage Goldberg doesn’t know what kind of a papa Bobby Lashley is. Clearly, Lashley isn’t the type to have a painting of his arm and his baby clinging to said arm on his wall. But that aside, Goldberg wants to fulfill a promise he made to his wife and his son to always protect the latter, at all costs. If he’s lucky, he’ll get to kill Lashley. This is a good story because its relatable and understandable. Lashley hurt Goldberg’s son, Goldberg wants his pound of flesh. And you know what? I hope he gets it. Goldberg’s never been the best promo but that worked because it felt real and I’m riding with the old man. Finally Phenomenal AJ Styles can pretty much do anything he wants in a wrestling ring with anyone he chooses to do it with. Styles and Riddle put on a dope television match that, at times, looked like someone was legitimately hurt. From a story standpoint, he needed this W. AJ’s racked up several Ls over several weeks, and looked anything but phenomenal. That changed this week and it was beautiful to watch. Charlotte Has no Time for This Either Charlotte Flair wasted an open challenge on Doudrop because, duh, Eva Marie isn’t finished with her former “friend” yet. Anyone who knows wrestling saw this coming from 25 miles away, so it’s not shocking. However, it is disappointing because there’s no end in sight to this thing between Doudrop and Eva plus it ruins her first title match. No one was served well here, so consider it a swing and a miss. And yet.. Raw moves fast. Remember when I said it looks like we’re still doing this thing with Eva and Doudrop? Like I just said it? Scratch that. Eva got on the mic and said she should be Raw’s champion of women. What’s more, she believes she can beat any woman in locker room. This brought out an angry Shayna Baszler, who did to Eva the same thing she did to Nia Jax last week. I guess WWE thought Shayna would get booed for this? Handsome Finish Angel Garza x Erik danced for a bit as a breather after the hot opening segment. It was a glorified squash as Garza got the W. Reggie Lives to Fight Another Day Silly me for thinking Richochet was getting a real chance to get some gold around his waist. Instead of a match filled with cats getting higher than a giraffe, we only got a taste of that until R-Truth, Drake Maverick, and friends interfered. Wherever this ride is going, I want off. That’s no Bear, That’s a BearCAT Tozawa, fresh off another 24-7 embarrassment, demanded a match with anyone. Out came the newly minted Keith “Bearcat” Lee. This is obviously a reboot for the former limitless one. And he looks good. He looks like someone I need to take seriously. But Bearcat? Really? I guess if you’re going to debut that nickname, Cincinnati is the right place. If only Lee wasn’t from Texas. Matching Capes Nikki A.S.H. wants matching capes for Super Brutality. Rhea Ripley isn’t convinced. Six Man Chaos Jeff Hardy, Mansoor, & Mustafa Ali vs. Jinder Mahal, Shanky, & Veer battled in the ongoing saga of Jeff Hardy wandering from position to position on Monday nights. This was a quick hitter that didn’t last long enough to get good or bad. Jinder and the boys got the W as the holding pattern before the draft continues. He’s the Commanding Officer Now Another squash/holding pattern match between Karrion Kross and Jaxson Ryker. They’re building Kross as a dominant super shredder, one who even poked fun at Ryker’s military service. It was a nice touch and added personality to a guy who needs as much as he can to overcome that look. Raw was good this week. The show moved at a good clip, was bookended by two dope matches that told one long story, and was mostly entertaining in the middle. While a lot of it was a holding pattern because things change Friday and next Monday, it was a good sendoff for Raw as we know it. Grade: A- That’s my grade and I’m sticking to it. Your turn. Read the full article

[emypony]

Every number, lol

ily lmfao

gdi lina

((now i gotta open my own goddamn tumblr to find it smh))

i’ll do edits throughout bcs i go on other questions and i legit like, answer them and go back and add stuff

1. first anime you ever watched

tbh i can’t freaking remember?? Though it might’ve been something on animax. I don’t count pokemon rly bcs i rarely watched it. I think watched thoroughly…???

Frick. Deltora Quest (??) ((god I just remembered I need to hype that too crap)) but I’ll be proud to say front to back as a really long anime is going to be Inazuma Eleven. God I was so trash for it. Saw a few eps on Disney and decided “i want to see this but without this crappy romanian dub thx”

I can’t remember any other anime I watched but amongst the first ones were: Shugo Chara, Princess Tutu (I NEED TO DRAW THIS AS WELL AUGH LINA WHAT’VE U DONE) uhhhhhhhh, Kaleido Star? Zero no Tsukaima (VERY BAD ANIME TO START WATCHING WHEN UR LIKE 13) and other trash stuff like Oran Highschool Host club, Toradora (I didn’t watch the last ep gg me), Brother’s Conflict (another harem AND I DIDN’T WATCH THE LAST EP EITHER GG OMG) and this is all I can remember great…

EDIT: UNDERRATED ELEMENTAL GELADE LIKE DID ANYBODY EVEN HEAR ABT IT like AAAA

look at me i can’t even do one question without rambling this is gonna be long asf

EDIT:::: Shaman King was the first. Used to air dubbed on some non cartoon channel over here and I got hooked.

2. first anime crush

Shun from Bakugan. I’m trash. (yes this was after I found out that it was originally japanese. I think i wanted to watch the jap dub but i couldn’t find it anywhere and i couldn’t take Dan having Naruto’s voice either thx)

Then i discovered Spectra (aka the Brother of that girl from the 2nd season) and i cried bcs how could I choose

3. favorite anime character

Tsurugi Kyousuke and you know it girl

TSUNA FROM KHR (in his more serious form)

ALSO GOKUDERA ^^^^

4. least favorite anime character

fricc. uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…(inazuma eleven makes everybody lovable I mean…)

5. list all anime you have ever watched (do non finished one count too thx)

NOTE: The ones with * means I didn’t finish them.

I DID THIS IN QUESTION 1 THANKS BUT LET ME ADD SOME

Mob Psycho 100

Shokugeki no Souma**  (in prcess of watching)

Oban Star Racers

Sword Art Online

SMILE PRECURE - it’s so clichee but I love it

Kaichou wa Maid-Sama

K-ON!*

Fruits Basket!!!

Sukitte Ii na yo

edit: Noucome

Dog Days!* (i can’t even what is this anime)

Kamisama Hajimemashita* (THERE’S LIKE A 2ND/3RD SEASON I NEVER KNEW ABUOT)

//screams

SHAMAN KIIIIIIING

DNANGEL AHHHHHHHHH

Beyblade (newer series tho)*

To Love-Ru* (wasn’t my thing but i saw a bit of it)

more Pretty Cure series which I can’t remember tbh

SUGAR SUGAR RUNE //CRYING

Gugure! Kokkuri-san*

6. popular anime you didn’t like

NOTE: I DIDN’T ACTUALLY WATCH MOST OF THESE BUT THE HYPE OVER THEM JUST KILLED IT FOR ME

Vampire…s-something with Vampire? With the Subaru and stuff. 

EDIT::: DIABOLIK LOVERS

LIKE ONLY 1 GUY WAS CUTE AND HAD REASONABLE REASONS BEHIND HIS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR, THE REST WERE JUST F*CKED UP PSYCHOS THANKS

Naruto (I mean first seasons are nice and all but like, it becomes confusing)

One Piece, Fairy Tail, YURI ON ICE , HETALIA ((MISS ME WITH THAT SH*T THX)), Death Note, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Clannad, Boku no Hero Academia, Dragon Ball Z (and what have you), Kuroko no Basket, Haikyuu, Free!, Bleach, Inuyasha, YuGiOh (i’ve seen a bit but meh..), Mirai Nikki, 

//inhales Sailor Moon

idk just not for me, though maybe I should give it a chance??

7. anime you are currently watching

I guess Shokugeki no Souma since I’ve yet to finish s3

But I’m still in IEGO hell rn, rewatching it for the lolzies

8. anime character you are most like

Tenma, ofc. 

9. favorite anime child

uHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tenma. ;;w;; he’s so precious and doubts himself and I think he’s great  ahhh 

Konoha. She loves animals and she’s kinda cute ouo

idk if there’s more i am really not recent anime trash sorry

10. favorite anime animal sidekick

Kili who’s Jasmine’s(?) -idk if that was her name in the jap version too- crow

I frkin love crows holy danm

Sasuke is such a cute dog save me

11. anime you didn’t expect to like but did

Inazuma Eleven (I don’t even like soccer) , Princess Tutu (I don’t like ballet and it was old af so I literally put it off for watching Shugo Chara), uhhhh idunno anymore

12. anime that should get more attention from others

PRINCESS TUTU I CAN’T STFU ABOUT THIS

Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

INAZUMA ELEVEN ALSO!!!

13. funniest anime you have watched

the one anime with the guy who had to make decisions or else

Noucome? (wikipedia: short for My Mental Choices are Completely Interfering with my School Romantic Comedy) Yeah that’s the one.

Shokugeki no Souma

14. saddest anime you have ever watched

PRINCESS TUTU (screw me, right?)

15. anime you never get sick of watching

INAZUMA ELEVEN THX

16. 10 best animes you have watched

oH COME ON

Inazuma Eleven

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Princess Tutu

Bakugan

Deltora Quest

Sugar Sugar Rune

Noucome

Shokugeki No Souma

Shaman King

i don’t know another one save me

17. biggest anime crush

TSURUGI KYOUSUKE

18.10 worst anime you have watched

how can I even- 

19. favorite anime ships

kYOUTEN

YuuiChi ( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ;)))))) furiously winks)

RanMasa

Ibuki x Shindou ((idk the name of this together lmao))

i don’t have anything more tbh x’D

20. least favorite anime ships

ShinKyou (I’m sorry but how?)

Fakir x Rue (Princess tutu. But like y these 2 srsly they hate each other)

21. anime that made you cry, when

Inazuma Eleven, not sure when but it did. I’m p sure it did

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

fricc. Princess Tutu defs at the end

22. age you started watching anime/person who introduced you to it.

idk how the hecc I found it but i think i was like 11/12?

23. unpopular character you love

YUUICHI

I mean c’mon we only see him a few times like give the poor guy some love

SARU!!!

24. popular character you hate

Fudou

Idk just… :^) not ma’ thing

25. anime you would recommend to someone who hates anime

i can’t?? my anime choices are literally trash

26. manga you have read all the ways through

i…didn’t read mangas xD

((yes you’re free to kill me now :^))

(((TBH THERE IS ONE. And that’s Nana to Kaoru I think..but it’s nsfw sorta but it was nice as well? like you don’t see that often)))

27. anime you plan to watch in the future

uhhhh crap good question. I had some lists somewhere but idk

28. most upsetting moment in anime, why

WHEN KAZEMARU LEFT THE TEAM LIKE AAAAAAAA MY BOY

When Shun from bakugan cut his hair but damn he was still hot

THE CUTE BOY FROM DELTORA QUEST WHO WAS SUCH A CINNAMON BUN TURNED OUT TO BE SOME MONSTER FREAK LIKE HOW DARE YOU

29. anime that deserves another season

PRINCESS TUTU

DELTORA QUEST (THERE WERE 3 BOOKS BUT THEY ONLY MADE ONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB

FRUITS BASKET AAAAAAAAH

i can’t think of more

30. one anime conclusion you would change

((SPOILERS))

Princess Tutu: MAKE AHIRU GODDAMN HUMAN SERIOUSLY I WANT TO SEE MY SHIP SAIL AUGHHJKFGBG

I FREAKING HOPE I DIDN’T MISS ANY AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[nikxation]

For the ask meme--all of them; everything

Jesus Nonny… Go big or go home much??? Damn

1. Any scars? One one my hand. Had a small surgery to remove a cyst thingy… Also, a small one in the middle of my thumb from a hamster bit when I was 7(?).2. Self harmed? No.3. Crush? My first response is no? Get back to me at a later date on that one… I’m trying to figure some things out…4. Kissed anyone? Nope.5. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.6. Someone you hate? High-school bully.7. Best Friends? Is… this asking for a number? Idk… A couple, I guess?8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? “Done alcohol” Lol. Alcohol yes. Drugs no.9. What’s your dream job? I’m gonna build an Iron Man suit. End of story. And if I couldn’t be an engineer, then a writer/editor.10. Ever been in love? Do fictional characters count?11. Last time you cried? Ummmmmmm like actually bawling? Probably last semester when I thought I royally bombed an exam (ended up doing better than I thought, though). Teared up? Reading this fic by @amolecularmachine.12. Favorite color? Blue. Though I recently discovered I look really good in yellow… Don’t go there I’ve thought about it too13. Height? 5′6″? I think? It’s been a while…14. Birthday? April 30th, right during final exams15. Eye color? Hazel16. Hair color? Auburn17. What do you love? My cat Tikki (she’s an idiot I love her)18. Obsession? *looks at the theme of this sideblog* Yeaaaaaaaaaah19. If you had one wish, what would it be? Selfishly, I want to have superpowers… Telekinesis, man… Cool stuff…20. Do you love someone? I love my cat. And my parents. And my friends.21. Kiss or hug? FROM WHO??????? Hug I guess?22. Nicknames people call you? Nikki, my mom calls me “Short Shit” or “Ni-ne” (pronounced “Ni-knee”, with the “i” making the same sound it does in “it”)… High school friends used to call me Ginger. College friends call me Nik.23. Favorite song? I was gonna say Battle Scars by Paradise Fears (cuz that’s my current jam) but the classic is always Bohemian Rhapsody24. Favorite band? P!atD or Imagine Dragons… I always seem to enjoy their music���25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? Ummm… Probably just in a general sense, the fact that I grew up really self-conscious and not very assertive…26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? Finding fandom culture, honestly… It’s problematic at times, but I love it to pieces and enjoy it immensely… Getting to talk about the things you care about with others is such a great experience…27. Something you would change about yourself? Guess this goes back to Q25… Wish I was more assertive or had better self confidence… :/28. Ever dated someone? No…29. Worst mistake? I guess there are certain people in my life that I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to impress? Like, I had some friends that, looking back, I realized were toxic, and I wish I’d realized it sooner so I could spend more time with the people that actually meant a lot to me…30. Watch the movie or read the book? I used to be hardcore “read the book”, but I don’t really have the time for that anymore, so “watch the movie”31. Ever had a heartbreak? My heart broke when Stan couldn’t remember Mabel… Does that count?32. Favorite show? *looks up at Q18* *looks back at sideblog theme* Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah33. Best day of your life? The day I joined band, probably… Honestly probably the only reason I got through high school… Also, the day my mom broke off relations with a really toxic friend of hers… My mom and I used to not be very close because of the friend (my mom was literally at her house the majority of every day, and I rarely saw her, and this was while I was in middle school)… Then she broke it off, and we had a real heart-to-heart over everything, and she and I have never been closer…34. Any talents? I can play clarinet (or, at least I used to) and I still play Steel Pan… I like to hope I can consider my writing a “talent”…35. Do you wish you could ever start over? Never.36. Any bad habits? I tend to procrastinate at times… Not always, but on certain occasions…37. Ever had a near death experience? I’ve had close calls, but no “near-death” I don’t think… Almost got hit by a guy on a bicycle (twice)… Once almost jumped into a pool that had a coral snake swimming around in it… Nothing really extraordinary… Edit: The other day, I was writing a note in my phone to watch "Runaways", but I guess it didn't save right because when I came back to it, all it said was "Run"... Also, the next day, I saw a flock a 6 crows chilling by a lake, and I'm pretty sure that's a death omen... But I didn't die, so I guess I dodged death!38. Someone I can tell anything to? Honestly, a lot of my friends I’ve made in college… I’ve told these guys things I’ve never told anyone before (like the fact that I write… I keep that pretty close to my chest and really only tell people I feel I can trust)…39. Ever lost a loved one? I mean, my dog (at my dad’s house) just recently died, so that hurt. But he was old, so we saw it coming. Also had a few more distant relatives pass, ones that I knew but was never super close with.40. Do you believe in love? Yes.41. Someone you hate/Dislike? Isn’t this just a repeat of #6?42. Are you okay? Right now, I think so.43. Relationship status? Single44. Selfie? I defer you to my Wendy cosplay this Halloween.

[craske]

HEY YALL I’VE WRITTEN AN OC INSERT FANFIC!

im really hyped to share it, hope you’ll like it!!

-Hey campers! I have great news!-

Max and others sat there, over a plate with questionable mashed potatoes, which were said to be quartermaster’s speciality. And yet these tasted like dirt. Everyone around had the same faces of doubt and disgust, because even the smell of this food was bad. And since when potatoes smell bad? Not a good sign. At all.

David, smiling and happy as ever, came in and stood there where all campers would see him, but most of them didn’t pay attention, which didn’t demotivate David at all. Max knew that there was almost nothing to make this man lose his optimistic attitude. And he couldn’t decide if it was impressive or just simply annoying. So he just sighted.

-Noone cares David. You made up some lame activity at 7 am, did you expect us to be jumping around? Or climbing on a wall?- Max said. It was true, yesterday David told campers that they will go out for some wood walk. And as if it wasn’t bad, they’d have to leave at 7am because David “wants campers to experience wilderness when at its most beautiful part of day!”. Nobody was excited. Well… Maybe Nikki, but sugar flows through her veins, so she jumped out from her bed as soon as she heard the trumpet, which Max wished he would never hear again.

-Oh come on Max! You will see how Mother nature wakes up to start new day! Lizards go find some warm spots, owls find their nests to rest, day birds sing the loudest at this moment and we might see deer with young! Isn’t it exciting?- David exclaimed, making Max even more grumpy. What does this man take every morning?

-But this is not only great news, fellow campers!- Counselor said, with no effect. Everyone still didn’t seem to bother, but have such things ever discouraged David? Nope.

- I received a call yesterday, a new camper is joining us today!- he exclaimed, and this time, surprisingly, some people looked at him with curiosity. At the same time Neil looked concerned, Nikki was close to exploding and Max just hit his forehead at the table.

-Not another Jermy Fartz…- he mumbled.

-It would be wierd at least if another kid like Jermy came- said Neil, sticking his fork into potatoes. He picked up the plate and turned it upside down, neither potatoes nor fork hit the table, they stayed in their place, sticked to the plate as if glue was used.

-This is…concerning…- he said, when putting his plate back on the table. His friend wasn’t even suprised about this, he never ate these potatoes anyways.

-Now i’m just more concerned about this trip David planned for today. Though on the other hand… maybe bear will maul me or some shit- said Max.

After the breakfast campers went back to their tents to grab important stuff and prepare for the walk into the woods. And nobody was eager to leave their tents after entering, but David literally dragged some of the kids outside, so it was clear, there is no way to avoid this. David was talking about stuff they will see, really happy about this, even more happy than the usual, which was slightly wierd for Max.

-Well… i think he is excited that new camper is coming today- said Neill, when Max pointed it out. Nikki just shrugged.

-Or he just has even better humor, i dunno- she said and ran forward, because she saw their camp mascot platypus, who disappeared two days ago. Everybody was a bit concerned, but only because it would mean they’d have to go look for new mascot. And nobody was willing to do it.

-There she goes…-

-Nikki will dominate all animals around, you’ll see-

-Yeah, maybe she’ll become alpha of some wolf pack or something-

Max laughed at this, but then got quiet and looked to the side, as if he remembered something not so nice. But he came back to reality after a moment. Kid smirked.

-What do you say we go half a mile with this loser and then turn around and go back to camp?- he said to Neill, who thought for a moment.

-What will we be doing there?-

-I dunno, maybe slacking off? Doing what you are supposed to do during summer?- said Max with irony in his voice. He wasn’t in a good humor today and felt like being super salty about everything. Neil just groaned in response.

-You really want to be pain in ass today, huh?-

-You have no goddamn idea-

When group reached the main cabin, in which they had eaten breakfast earlier, suddenly the group stopped. David looked a bit distressed, because somebody was on the roof of the lodge.

-Hey! What are you doing up there? Come down before you’ll get hurt!- he yelled, running towards the house. The person was sitting on the side of the roof, with their legs hanging down. And kid didn’t seem too concerned about where they were sitting.

David went inside the house, probably for the ladder, but when he was struggling to pull it through front door he noticed the kid got down on their own.

-Uhmm this won’t be necessary, mister- she said.

Other kids watched it mostly with interest, but nobody was nervous about this situation. They just looked at the new camper, who was actually probably 14 year old girl. She was wearing green hoodie with short sleeves, red long-sleeved shirt under it, blue shorts and typical high boots perfect for some treckking. She also was wearing yellow lumberjack gloves, but the thing that was most unusual about her was that her hair were dyed to be bright blue, though some brown was visible in places where hair was growing.

She stood there looking a bit guilty, but not scared. David put ladder down carefully. He would have big problems with Gwen if he broke it, because it was their only one and it is never sure when it will be useful.

-Gosh darnit you scared me! How did you get up there?- he asked when approaching that new girl. She scratched her head in embarrassment and smiled.

-I uh… climbed? I mean, i jumped on that box by the wall and grabbed the edge of the roof… i will get into trouble on my first day, won’t I?- she said. David looked at the girl and smiled, still a bit shocked after what he saw.

-Oh don’t worry about it! You kids would go anywhere! So, you are new part of our group for this summer, right?- he leaned towards the girl, who was visibly more comfortable when knowing she isn’t in trouble anymore.

-Yeah! I came here few minutes ago but nobody was here so I thought waiting will be good thing to do- she said.

-Well, if you are our new camper, please introduce yourself to us!- David exclaimed, grabbing her shoulder to turn her so he can face the group of other kids. She surprisingly didn’t seem to be intimidated, more like happy that she can finally leave her excess behind.

-Um… Hi, im Meg!- she said, rising her right hand slightly. David clapped his hands, excited.

-Well, it’s very nice to meet you Meg and I’ll let you know that you arrived just in time, because we were leaving to go to the woods for long and amazing trip!- he said. At the same time Max watched it all, bored. Let’s be honest, he didn’t expect a new camper to appear here in this way, but it’s nothing special. He tried to escape during his first day, just like Nikki  and Neil. Well… they wouldn’t try it if Max didn’t persuade them to do so.

He felt he won’t like this girl, Meg. She seemed annoyingly happy, just like David. Ok, nobody can be this fucking happy 24/7, but still. He smirked after a moment.

-We’ll see how excited you are ‘bout this shitty trip- he said quietly.

But there was one thing that he noticed, how she shivered when David touched her shoulder. It was wierd.

-Ok campers! Let’s go meet mother nature!- said David and went in the direction of that one path they mostly used when going into the forest. Everybody letted out a tired sigh, but followed David anyways.

-Zis isn’t going to be a good time- said Dolph who was walking in front of Max. Meghan waited for the group to pass, and then joined it at the end, happy to go to the forest.

Finally! Away from city, in the place where air is fresh, birds chirp and no sound of cars. Meg was really tired of that lil wierd city so he decided to take some vacation, it would be good for her health. Aaaand… she had a feeling her friends were getting fed up with her. So it will be good for everyone!

She was walking silently, watching the group and surroundings, excited to be here. Kids in front of her weren’t talking much, maybe because of the hour of waking up… There was… girl with green hair, dude which looks like Shakespare, magician, a black girl in some kind of cosplay, some brute, cool girltm, little boy who kinda resembled her of that one german dude, kid who apparently wants to be an astronaut, dude with fluffy brown hair and next to him boy with fluffy black hair, This is one interesting group, Meg felt that it’s gonna be great month. But there was no sight of that one kid with blonde hair she saw through the window of bus when she was coming here. She even pointed out to that scary driver some camper was out there in the forest, but he didn’t seem to care… or he didn’t hear her. It’s not sure, because he is so old he might be deaf.

-Uhm… sooooo…- she started, trying to make a conversation with two boys in front of her. Dude with brown hair turned around to look at her, though he seemed nervous, while black-haired dude didn’t even react.

-This is everyone in group, right?-

-Yeah, David wouldn’t let anybody stay in the camp during this trip- said that guy with brown hair.

-Oh by the way, what’s your name dude?- she asked, coming closer to hear these two in front better.

-Oh, I’m Neil and this is Max- Neil said while pointing at boy next to him, who just looked back at her. It’s been a long time since she saw somebody this bored. Well… guys in school looked like this few days ago.

-You are… Meg, right?-

-Yeah! And I’ll be honest with you guys, i have a feeling this is going to be one of the best summers ever!- she said, filled with excitement, while Max said to himself that he will always stay at least 5 meters away from her.

At that moment Nikki came back, covered in mud and with some twigs in her hair. She was holding something fluffy and small in her hands and before she said anything Meg ran towards her and kneeled, her irises really big.

-Is that a squirrel?- she asked, not stopping to look at the animal Nikki brought. She nodded furiously.

-Yea! And it has this funny thing on it’s head see?- She said

They were left behind, which made Max sigh in relief.

-I won’t be able to not do something to her. She is like… David or some shit- he said, not bothering to check if two girls are catching up.

-At least it isn’t another Jermy Fatrz- said Neil, but Max wasn’t sure which one of them would be worse.

-Hah, i dunno man-

After minute or two girls caught up, talking excitedly. Boys noticed they both had some scratches on their faces… Well, Nikki had some more new scratches. But they both looked really happy.

-Wow, I haven’t been attacked by a squirrel in a long time! Last time was when somebody feeded park squirrels with coffee-dipped nuts. It was wild dude!- Meg was talking loudly.

-Wow it even bit you! Didn’t it hurt?- asked Nikki, excited just like new camper, who shrugged and showed her hand with thick glove on.

- Nope, i didn’t feel anything! These are really useful!- Meg said, proudly.

-You wear them all the time?- asked Nikki, and Meg nodded in response.

-Well… Yeah! Just, you’ll never know what will happen next moment!- she said and two girls finally caught up with the group.

-Guyguyguyguys! That squirrel attacked us! It was wild! But we kicked it into the bushes!- said Nikki, really happy about this little adventure.

-Uhh… are you sure you won’t get sick? Some animals carry diseases… Well, al of them- Neil pointed out, while Max just shrugged.

-Oh don’t worry, you body must experience everything to be less vulnerable in the future- answered Meg, which ticked Max off even more.

-Wow, and i thought we can’t have more smartasses in this godforsaken place- he said, which caught Meg off-guard. She looked at him for a second. Wow, so this is the typical camp douche who can’t have fun apparently. She just needs another tactic when it comes to mr. Grump.

-Man, at least there are some smart people, huh?- she said, smirking. It sounded surprisingly salty, but Meg immediately dropped the salty mask and smiled again.

-Oh dude, come on. How bad can it be?- she said. Max turned around with a bit of satisfaction on his face.

-Oh you’d be surprised-

Nikki sighted.

-Well, you just have to be carefully around Nurf because he can pull out a lot of knives from his pockets. And we still don’t know where he gets these- she said.

-And uhh… David can be annoying- Nial added. Meg looked forward. David was leading group deeper into the forest, but they still were in this more open and brighter part of the woods. And the counselor seemed as ecstatic as when he greeted Meg back at camp.

-He seems nice. Is he always this happy?- she asked.

-Unfortunately, he is almost never down and I swear it makes me sometimes want to snap someone’s neck. Especially his- Max was the one to answer this time. Meg looked at him, slightly concerned about this last thing.

-Oh…- she said and for next hour they all four were silent, though when the group started walking around on more mountainous terrain, then everyone was wheezing, trying to catch up with David, because that son of a devil apparently had so much energy that mountains were the same as simple campgrounds. Even Nikki had enough of this and she just like others, literally threw herself on a ground when a break was announced. Max at that time approaches David, really mad.

-Wow, you’ve put us through such a shit I swear David, this trip must be worth this hell- he said aggressively, but counselor just patted the boy on his head.

-Oh Max, haven’t you noticed how wonderful it is? Haven’t you seen all these animals?- David asked cheerfully.

-Well, i saw one squirrel attack Meg and Nikki, but eh- boy shrugged. His words slightly concerned David. Why didn’t he know about this? He quickly approached two girls, talking while lying on that one bigger rock. It was pleasantly warm thanks to the sun.

-And then that bus caught on fire and…-

-Um, girls? I’ve heard you had a… situation… with wild animal. Are you both ok?- David interrupted Meg’s story, but she didn’t seem to mind.

-Nah, we’re good- she said and quickly got back to the story she was telling. Nikki was listening carefully.

-And believe me or not, we actually didn’t suffer! I had barely any burns or scratches! But my pal, he yhh… got blasted away by a bomb in that suitcase…- David didn’t hear anymore bc he had to go forward and check out their trail. He planned to avoid Sleepy Pine at all costs.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Ok my feet will hate me for next few days and don’t expect me to get outta my bed- Meg said something, what everybody was thinking. It was long past evening meal, maybe 11pm at best. Nobody wanted to go eat anyways, sleep was their ultimate desire and as soon as the group reached the main lodge, they went to their tents as fast as they could. David had to show Meg her tent, which Gwen set up while they all were gone.

-Everyone wake up at 7am for breakfast in main lodge, where you get food made by our Quartermaster, you also can choose diffrent drinks. But no coffee-

Meg wasn’t listening, she just wanted this dude to go away, she was super tired and she couldn’t breathe good, but she tried to hide it. During the entire walk she had big difficulties with keeping up, especially on that mountainous part of track. She thought she’d suffocate.

-Ok David, i really need to sleep, thanks for everything- she finally said with hardly hidden pain. David smiled.

-Ah no problem. Good night! We are really happy to have you here at Camp Cambell!- he said and left. Meg quickly entered her tent and checked if tent drapes are closed and took off her shirt. Beneath which there were bandages wrapped around her torso, binding something to it. She took these off as fast as she can, revealing small, blue set of wings. She spreaded them as much as she could in this tiny tent and took few really deep breaths. It was such a great feeling, being able to finally breathe normally. She couldn’t leave the group to take these off, it would be suspicious. But let’s hope it won’t be the same during the rest of camp. Or she’d just pass out one day, and then people would be curious and they might find out…

Ok, don’t think about this, it won’t happen.

She took off her gloves too, revealing clawed hands covered with green scales, which were going all up to her arms and down her back. That’s why she was wearing those, but… Yeah lumberjack gloves are simply handy, today’s action with squirrel proved it.

-Damn, what a relief- Meg said and chuckled when throwing herself her bed. She finally could swear without anybody judging her.

-This is gonna be such a great summer- girl said and as soon as she closed her eyes she fell asleep. She really wanted to leave that city, it was starting to be really tiring, the everlasting noise and stench of her hideout behind that one library. Now she was there, surrounded by woods, with no sound of cars. Simply sounds of night.

It’s gonna be indeed best summer. Unless people find out what she really is…

But it won’t happen.

[nikodraws]

Answer all the oc questions about your problematic fav oc

I FUCKING DID IT DAMN YOU! Problematic fav is a hard since a large fraction of my characters are terrible trash babies. So I chose what I consider to be the worst boy I’ve ever made.

Caddy Baptis. A terrible thing spawned from making Anime Campaign characters

and this is too many questions! So I’ll just go till I just don’t have it in me to continue.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Caddeford “Caddy” Baptis. Means literally nothing. Was originally gunna be for a different character but the name didn’t fit so I just kept it for later.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?NOPE. He’s not that important.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Caddy has no memories of anything that happened to him before his was 8! If you ask him his child hood was… Good?? His fond memories would be any of him and Nikki palling around the orphanage. A bad memory would probably be the brief moment in time the care takers at the orphanage attempted to separate Caddy and Nikki in an attempt to protect her from the violent dangerous child that has attached himself to her. It was short lived. Caddy’s horrible behavior got increasingly worse the longer he wasn’t allowed to carry Nikki around.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Caddy has no memory of anything before he was 8. He was just found wondering around with a massive head wound, no memories, and no one looking for him.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Caddy has his “sister” Nikki baptis. They are not related. They were in the orphanage together and Caddy just ghosted her away in the night when he got too old to continue living there. Caddy loves the shit out of Nikki and the two are super dependent on each other. Caddy will do anything or maim anyone to keep Nikki in one peace and Nikki is the only one who can talk him down once he gets too worked up. She tends to just go along with any and all of his dangerous and illegal plans without question. She trusts him implicitly even though she knows his impulsive and dangerous. Nikki is one of only two people Caddy actually views as anything aside from being a game piece in his on going and ever escalating quest for dangerous thrills. The two are so emotionally dependent on eachother it’s questionable that if one would be able to function without the other.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Caddy never finished any schooling. Caddy often found school boring and a bored caddy is a dangerous Caddy. He would skip classes and get in fights on a regular basis. Caddy was good at Phys Ed since it gave him a temporary outlet for his energy. Everything else was a no-go. He was briefly in theater.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Caddy had no friends besides Nikki as a kid. Due to their appearance and the tendency kids have to be shitty  he started out a victim if ridicule and quickly became feared when he badly injured another child. He and Nikki are still very close.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

No.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

No.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

No.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Nope.

12. What is their favourite food?

Caddy really like Mac and Cheese.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Caddy will actually eat anything. He doesn’t like the taste of artificial strawberry flavoring but will still eat anything fake strawberry nonsense if presented to him.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Not really.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Caddy isn’t super good at cooking. He only learned so he could make food for Nikki after they left the orphanage. His specialty is what I can best describe as “Struggling single dad trying his best” meals. He knows it’s mediocre at best.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

Weaponry Mostly guns and explosives. Used mostly to rob banks. He keeps them at their safe house and in the secret compartments of Chance’s car.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

No. It’s not an aversion. Just a general disinterest.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Caddy likes cartoons, soap operas and horror.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Sitcom.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

He does! Caddy loves music and musicals. When his favorite song (Or any song he knows) comes on he belts it loudly.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Oddly enough Caddy doesn’t have a temper and is rarely genuinely angry. He’s fairly patient willing to wait around for hours to accomplish a thing he’s decided is going to happen and can put up with even the most trying of people. Caddy is likely a cold fury type.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

As violent and loud as Caddy is he’s not much of trash talker. He might refer to someone as ‘Fucker’ from time to time but his language is actually pretty mild. He has negative filter so he’ll say rude and terrible thoughts out loud with no regard for who is nearby.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Caddy has a good memory for things and people he cares to remember. If he decides it’s not something he needs to worry about he’s disregard it pretty much instantly.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Caddy doesn’t sleep much. He’s generally either on 0 or 100 and he doesn’t hit 0 very often. He snores like a lawnmower and can sleep on anything. Tends to fall asleep on the couch on in the car. He’s not allowed to drive and car motion puts him to sleep.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Caddy has a dangerous sense of humor. Most of the things he thinks are funny involve other people have a bad time. He thinks he’s hilarious. No one else does.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Caddy is pretty open with how he’s feeling actually. He’s pretty happy most of the time. He’s loud and rambunctious on his best days. And friendly in an almost sinister way on his worst.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Sad = angry. Very rare.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Caddy’s biggest fear is loosing Nikki. Other then that he’s positive he’s scarier then most other things. When scared Caddy fights with even less regard for his own life then usual since that probably means Nikki is in danger.  

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Depends. For people he’s close to (AKA Literally only chance and Nikki) He might give a weird phobia a hard time but he’ll be mindful and is probably the one to resolve the issue if it comes up. For anyone else he’s not interested and won’t engage in anyway.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Yes! Caddy is a very physically oriented guy. His primary source of income before the crime spree was underground bareknuckle boxing. His behavior isn’t super different going into or out of a work out? Afterwards he might be slightly less aggressive for a while having used up some energy.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

He does not! His epithet kind of makes it so he has to go extra hard on drinks to get drunk and he doesn’t much like it anyway. Again he’s surprisingly patient. He thinks drunk people are hilarious the sloppier the better. Though the already high chances that Caddy get in a fight might get exponentially higher in a bar full of rowdy people.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Caddy dresses… fine? He doesn’t put a lot of time and effort into what he’s wearing but he’s not a slob. Generally a hoodie (Usually his favorite “POW!” hoodie), t-shirt and jeans will do him fine. He wears only brief to sleep. He doesn’t wear make up on a regular basis but it’s not unheard of. And Caddy has far more hair then he has any business having. He keeps it tied up to keep it out of the way but when untied it dangerous close to ass length.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

briefs

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Caddy is a brawler. Built to give and dole out pretty heavy damage. He’s about 7'2" and he thinks he’s hot.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Caddy has no guilt. He likes cartoons, musicals and shitty pop music openly.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Caddy is very good at fighting and various physical activities. He’s also surprisingly good at crafts and practical affects, at some point he worked with props and affects at a theater. His hobbies are fighting and fighting. And yes he can sing pretty well if he wants. But usually is just yelling.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Caddy isn’t much of a reader. He’s not a speed reader or anything but he can read competently. He not into poetry, and if he is gunna read ever he prefers fiction.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

I don’t think… Caddy admires other? He loves Chance though! He thinks chance is the coolest person in all of the land and admires his ability to function calmly and collectedly in dangerous and horrible situations.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

I… have no idea. I don’t even think he has a phone. The idea of Caddy handling technology is actually baffling to me and he doesn’t have anyone to write letters to.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

He doesn’t tend to need energy drinks or coffee. He’s epithet keeps him running at pretty much all times.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Caddy is super pansexual. And is attracted to anyone who can be described as “Pretty” Male, female, or otherwise and he doesn’t relationship. That would require the ability to be emotionally invested in anything that’s not Nikki’s continued survival.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Caddy is addicted to thrills. The need to experience an adrenaline rush is what drives him. The only thing he considers self sacrifice worthy is Nikki. And non of his ambitions are secret.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Caddy is not religious even the tiniest bit. Has never put much thought into it, and has no interest in what anyone else thinks of it.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Caddy prefers colder weather so fall and winter are his favorite seasons. You’ll often catch him complaining in summer because he runs hot and very quickly becomes his own personal oven.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

I CERTAINLY HOPE NO ONE SEEMS THEMSELVES IN CADDY! Most people will see Caddy as a loud violent crazy man. Even during his calmer moments if your not used to has behavior he might seem friendly enough but there’s almost always alarms ringing in the heads of people around him. It’s probably that unhinged glint in his eye.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

PROBABLY NOT! Caddy his almost 0 sense of personal space and will often get a little to friendly a little too soon. He also has the horribly unnerving habit of prolonged eye contact.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

I don’t think caddy has attended a formal event in his life. I think he’d actually be pretty comfortable in a suit and tie but he’s still Caddy so while would likely be appalled and a little concerned that he was even allowed inside. Which is half the fun really.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organize the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Honestly Caddy probably doesn’t like parties very much unless he has a reason to be there. Crowded rooms filled with people not doing particularly anything but maybe drinking does not sound like a good time. Chances increase the Caddy gets into a fight for fun without Nikki or Chance there to keep him under control.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Nah. Caddy’s not a materials kind of guy and doesn’t tend to hold on to things. Nikki is the only reason they have ever had nice things.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Nikki…? Barring that. Spare clothes, a gun or two, grenades, wads of cash, meal bars and water. If he’s packing a bag to leave with his probably going on the run.

[roman-winter]

ALL OF THOSE NUMBERS

WELP good thing ur the only one who actually sent me anything. HERE WE GO. every single number under the cut lmao

1. your favorite face claims

ZANE HOLTZ, MICHAEL TREVINO, BOB MORELY, STEPHEN JAMES, CAMERON MONAGHAN, if i could only use those faces for the rest of my rping life, i’d be perfectly happy, they’re my babes

2. your least favorite face claims

fcs i actively don’t like are p much bc people ruined them for me such as dane dehaan, xavier dolan, that blonde guy who’s always w xavier dolan and serval others that i never see around anymore anyway so it doesn’t really matter

3. face claims that you are dying to use

for the love of god someone actually let me use dj cotrona jfc. also miguel angel silvestre pleaseeeeee. and more zane holtzes always. like if u want a holy holtz, i’ll give him to you

4. face claims that you are dying to play against

rn i’m super into american gods so def both ricky whittle and emily browning. i’ve always wanted to play against a billie piper. every single person in this tag

5. your favorite original-verse oc (or one of your favorites)

shit that’s hard ummm i’m just gonna go w a current fav which is eli whitehall mostly bc of the amazing world that we’ve created for him and andrew and the like super amazing and rich backstory that has been developed, also just like playing a trans character who’s 50?? BEST THING EVER 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND esp since he’s got the best husband in the world #relationshipgoals

6. your favorite fandom oc (or one of your favorites)

not technically an oc since his name is mentioned in the books BUT since the verse is so completely not canon he’s basically an oc AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD ALL DAY EVERY DAY my love my light my fav i will keep playing him forever and ever and then a bit more

7. your favorite oc who isn’t yours (or one of your favorites)

can i just say every single one of @chrysalis-writes​‘ characters??? but like atm probably oliver who is the love of my life. like wtf is better than an unplanned ship just taking form out of nowhere and then being THE BEST SHIP EVER CREATED like fuck man i get emo when i think about oliver and how beautiful and pure and wonderful christine made him. i’m crying ok bye

8. your favorite fandom character to have played

rn my fav has to be richie gecko my trans son, i love fdtd w my whole soul and i love having the privilege of writing richie w my two fav ppl 

9. a fandom character who you would really like to play

hey guess what i want? i want to play bruce wayne in my horrible crossover crackship helldream that is ironbat, aka the best ship in the world. i want bruce wayne and tony stark to fuck and i have zero regrets

10. a fandom character who you would like to interact with

see above.

11. an rpg that meant a lot to you

knockturn meant the world to me and i’m so so glad that i’ve gotten to keep writing in that verse even if it’s outside of a group environment, but it was such a fantastic experience and so much fun to create that world with my best bruv and i’m so so proud of all the writing we did, everyone was just absolutely amazing, and it’s also how i met nikki GOD BLESS US EVERYONE

12. an rpg that you’re excited about

i just applied to an rp a few days ago and i’m pumped about maybe getting to be in that but i'm not gonna tag it bc i dunt wanna be that asshole but it’s all the worlds and it looks hella cool

13. an rpg that you’d like to create

lmao NONE i’m done w that game man. i still dream of bringing back knockturn w christine one day bc that was legit my fav rp that i’ve been part of but a lot of things about the rpc would have to change before i’d feel okay about putting that much work into something again

14. your favorite rp friendship

i’m not gonna say christine bc that’s a cop out and also we were friends years b4 rping 2gether, so i’m gonna throw a bone to my two favs SUZIE and NIKKI the loves of my life whom i am so so lucky to be friends with and get to write with, and if either of u read this i love youuuuuuu

15. your favorite rp otp

every single ship that i have w christine but mostly oliver and val alwayz

16. your favorite rp notp

lmao idk bro you’d be surprised about how many notps i have tbh i’m just quiet about it bc i mind my own business unlike some people :~~~)

17. your favorite rp family relationship

UM SETH AND RICHIE GECKO OFC WHO DO YOU THINK I WOULD SAY the first time we started a thread w them we were legit like wtf why have we never played bros???? and it was the best and i’m always emo about those two trans losers

18. your favorite rp universe/world

i’m super into the little sensate world we’ve got going bc we have such cool and amazing characters and evil jeff goldblum exists and the story we’ve got concocted is great and can you tell i’m just talking directly to you now christine? bc i definitely am, who else would read this whole thing????

19. your favorite non-playable character

that is very very hard bc i’m notoriously bad at npcs, but i luv valentin’s daughter, alexandra bc she’s just so sweet and kind and accepting and i love her and all of the cute little things that have and will happen with her interacting with val and all the other sensates KILLS ME

20. your first rp character

omfg my first chara was an oc when i was like eleven called lily lupin and she was remus’ secret brother’s child???? i remember nothing else about her but that. idk guys i was a weird child but i had a good time rping on an hp forum lmao

21. your latest rp character

ELECTRIFICATION KOZLOV who is a badass kgb agent during the cold war who i’m super excited to start writing soon. he’s awful and great and idk what happened but i have a thing w playing russian characters rn????

22. a plot that you’d like to play out

see numbers 9 and 10

23. a real-world setting that you’d like to use as the setting of a plot

i think i’ve got all the real world setting plots i want rn tbh i’m really into grabbing more supernatural plots!

24. your favorite rp genre

probably scifi, esp atm! i’m so so bad at science myself but i really do love playing inside a scifi environment that i didn’t have to build lmao

25. a quote you’d like to use to build a character on

omfg i’m the WORST but i really would love to build a few characters (probably like a 1x1x1) based on “you are jeff” just literally the whole damn poem. i’ve had some character relationships that mimicked the twins section of it very well, but i think it’d be super fun to literally base a plot on that

26. a song you’d like to use to build a character on

i just saw reeve carney live and i’ve been listing to his new album nonstop and “resurrection” would make a really REALLY good character song, so THAT!

27. a song you’d like to use to build an rp relationship on

i’ve had the need since the album came out to have a ship based on against me’s song “haunting haunted haunts” i feel like it could make a pretty good plot tbh and i’m always here for angst

[perfectly-wasted-youthhh]

lol binch if I did it you do too, 1-100

lmaoooo spiteful, but whatevs, also mine are gonna be more boring sorry.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? Nope! 

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Yes in the sense that they’re in my life and I love them but I guess not fully in the sense that I’ll still feel upset sometimes. 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

I think of cats. Like what

4: What’s something you really want right now?

To be comfy with my body so I don’t have to stress about it over the summer

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

No, I’m more afraid of not falling in love (sorry for how fake deep that sounds but for real)

6: Do you like the beach?

Very much, it will be my main habitat over the summer hopefully

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yes, at like sleepovers, with their feet in my face. Romantic haha

8: What’s the background on your cell?

Amber, it makes me homesick but I like it anyways

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine in college, mine at home, Tu’s, and emme’s

10: Do you like your phone?

I’m very indifferent about it

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

No not really, I’m very okay with it but sometimes I feel like more is expected from me and it stresses me out. 

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

My chemistry lab partner sophie’s

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Neither are my fav breed but I knew a really friendly cute rottweiler when i was a kid so that probably

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

As someone who is overly emotional I’d say emotional pain but I’ve never been through a physical pain that has lasted beyond a dull ache.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

I’ve never been to an art museum so I’d love to go to one for the experience but a zoo is a guaranteed good time

 16: Are you tired?

Mentally yes, but I can’t physically fall asleep haha

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Alex Raydan, I’ve known him since 1st grade

18: Are they a relative?

Nope

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Nah

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

tonight

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

I don’t think it would be necessary, but if you could guarantee they were the person I’d want to be with all my life, then yeah I suppose 

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Maybe in the right context

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

I have one hair tie on each wrist for balance, does that count

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Do better. Much better. Become so engulfed in your own success you forget it ever happened.” lmao literally just a quote I found on tumblr but I like it a lot and it makes me feel stronger so 

25: What’s on your mind?

u kno I’m plannin my summer aesthetic 24/7

26: Do you have any tattoos?

No, hoping to get some soon

27: What is your favorite color?

Deep green

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

I have no idea haha, hopefully over the summer but no guarantees lmao

29: Who are you texting?

No one at the moment

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yes, i feel pretty comfy talking to michael, darious and zany. Gettin more comfy with vincent and tu now as well

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Not particularly

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes, it’s always very appreciated

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I’d be pretty weirded out and wish they would stop lmao

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yessss

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes, i am

38: What do your friends call you?

Binch, dude, bb, bbygirl, aside from the typical just Nikki

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes, but my bar for getting upset is pretty low oops

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Yeah haha I have most of my serious conversations over text cuz I’m a lil bitch

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Right in the center of my chest

42: What is it from?

Bra was too tight and pressed into my chest

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Physics lecture last Tuesday when I was running on 3 hrs of sleep

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mom

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yep, white sneakers

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No I look considerably worse in hats

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Probably not I like my hair a lot

48: Do you make supper for your family?

No but my mom deserves it lol so I should try

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes haha

50: Top 3 web-pages?

tumblr, netflix, hulu

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

my mom and dad both hate it

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

Yeah I worked out yesterday so my thighs and stomach hurt

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Extremely, I always build them up in my head so I’m always a little underwhelmed and unsatisfied when I leave

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

water

55: How is your hair?

It’s okay, I really need to get it cut, it’s lacking any style lmao

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Brushing my teeth is always first

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yeah I think so, but I think it involves a lot of compromise and effort

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? hahaha yes

59: Green or purple grapes? purple for sure, the darker the better

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Probably june 15th when I say goodbye to my roommates for the summer 

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yes, I wish I were home

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Probably tomorrow afternoon

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Sleppin

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleppin

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Kyle 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Tommy melts my heart he’s precious, same with Charlotte

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

no kissing, and I’m pretty sure no hugging either

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

lmao “why is no one responding to me”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yes maybe once or twice, but usually I’ve gotten what I’ve wanted out of situations so go me

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

4

71: How many fingers do you have?

all of them thankfully

72: What is your ringtone?

the default

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 19 haha

74: Where is your Mum right now?

In vista CA no one try to find her and kill her pls

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Just wasn’t right I guess

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

No I have not

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yes!

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Brody Barnhill

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Pipe down Mike

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Nooope

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

I have very fleeting interests in college, but people I’ve liked for more than a few days would be zero haha

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Emme and tracy are constantly seeing me in my underwear

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Nope

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Kelsey and Amber probably and both of them are telling me to fucking stop

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yeah, if it was habitual use

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I almost wasn’t allowed to see Baywatch because I didn’t think it was rated R and apparently I do not look 17 and my college ID wasn’t proof enough that I was at least 18 lmao

87: Who was your last received call from?

Me mum

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Yes

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Money and motivation lmao

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Perhaps, but it’s never been to much of an issue, just embarrassing for me sometimes

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Yes it gets very hot in this room

92: Do you get along with girls?

Pretty much 100% of the time

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nope

94: Does sex mean love?

Nope 

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nah, maybe a little boring after a while but that’s all

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No, I don’t know how I’d feel about it, I feel like I’d be afraid of pulling it somehow

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

All the time haha

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yes, I do haha

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not particularly, it sounds nice tho

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

I think emme, she likes that kind of stuff 

Hope this made you feel better Michael lmao

[jadereylove]

I have something to add to your post to that blog. I must say jade-deanee that responded in such great way so I don’t have to even add some things myself to her points (she has some pretty bad arguments consedering she didn’t post any proof and she didn’t specify some things like when she said that Renee is acting single when she’s home alone. Like how are we supposed to know what she mean by that if she doesn’t mention exactly how she thinks that)  because you reacted so well and i don’t even have to add something to that because of that.

1. Norm and Renee were never engaged there is no proof of that you literally made that up.Also stop with the Norm and Renee were together until may 2014 bullshit. I have proof that isn’t true and the proof you guys have of that is fake. So nice try. Also she didn’t erase norm or burger from history there are still pictures of the dog on her instagram and she actually mentioned Norm in her last podcast episode. 

4. I also want to see proof that she can’t live in vegas because I never seen them seen post proof of that anyways and it doesn’t make sense either. Also not every shipper even lives in the us, lol because I definitely don’t. Also Dean never said that’s he’s home once a month on ride along you literally made that up. 

6. Bad argument since you guys claim td is scripted (Which is true) So is his drinking then. 

7. that’s her choice

8, 9, 10, 11. Show the proof then but considering you didn’t do that in your post already it’s obvious you made that up because you don’t even want to believe deanee is real so you have to make up excuses to keep deying it. Also there are sightings of them in airports traveling back to Vegas or leaving Vegas.

12. That’s not true Renee’s mom posted a  thanksgiving pic with Dean in it on her ig she deleted. And you know damn well they stopped filming for TD back in September and that pic exists.  Carole also posted a video where you can see him nunchucking with Renee’s second cousins also taken during thanksgiving. But you probably have another excuse for that. 

13. Not true I have seen pics of their living room where you can see Dean’s motleys crue guitar display case in them. Which is his because we also saw that case in the destruction of the shield special.  Renee also has posted a snapchat once where you can see his nunchucks and phone in it. 

14. You’re obviously even lying to yourself here because they showed a pic of Dean and Renee with Blue on TD. Also blue looks the same in every pic. And again where’s your proof?

15. So Sandra means every coworker? Oh and why would they talk about them? Oh and Nikki tweeted Renee when John and Dean hugged and that’s before TD season 6 started airing so your wrong anyways.

19. She was there though!? There’s proof of that too that I submitted to arilkurorosawaasylum. Also she can block whoever she wants to.

20. Why would she even be in that promo? She isn’t an friend from his indie days. And don’t see you saying the same thing about Roman not being included.

21. Yeah because Brian, Jenny Dean and Renee used to hang out all the time before td. it’s not like Dean is busy and they don’t live  far away from each other or anything or hung out only a few times a year motly during wm or after  wwe shows in Buffalo *sarcasm* 

24, 25, 27 Again where’s your proof?

26.  Also Dean hangs out without Renee with their Vegas friends too. Matt Farmer has a pic of it on his instagram when he along with another friend went hicking with Dean in the vegas desert. And he went to a concert with them too without her which is also on his instagram so that’s  a lie as well.  And how is she too close with her Vegas friends? by going to concerts with them, hanging out and lending their books!? Like what even? Also stop with your heteronormative and heterosexist bullshit because women and men can be friends. So i guess pansexual people can’t have any friends in your sexist mind? 

30. Stop twisting Renee’s words around she never said he drives too slow but that he drives like a grandma and she said that he’s a good storysteller but drags his stories on too long.

31. What do you even mean by this!? If you’re talking about people attacking Renee on the internet how would he even been able to? He doesn’t have any social media which you know. And if you’re talking about The Miz why would he? Renee already stood up to herself to him and smackdown is scripted anyways which you even said yourself and everyone is aware of that as well obviously. Also he defending her when JBL asked her that question btw so basicially that’s not true either.

33. I think she knows that better than some stranger on the internet.

34. Again with the heteronormative and heterosexist bullshit. She can also delete any IG post she wants anyways and it’s obvious she deleted that pic because of the ridiculous hate is got on it.

Also stop with the ableist bullshit you guys say about shippers and Renee.  I’m tired of coming across that bullshit here on tumblr. And you’re again implying  ableist bullshit  with your last line by saying that it’s not if that not enough for shippers to question things no one can help them. So you know what I mean by that. Also you guys say that shippers act like you have to like Renee so don’t be a hypocrite and then act like people aren’t allowed to believe Deanee is real. Which is a fact anyways.

Some proof of some of the things I said:

http://jade-deanee.tumblr.com/post/155203115872/recently-i-saw-some-lie-being-spread-around-in-the#notes (the norm thing)

http://jade-deanee.tumblr.com/post/155203134822/the-facebook-comment-i-was-talking-about#notes (the norm thing)

http://arilkurosawaasylum.tumblr.com/post/155768377664/arilkurosawaasylum-so-i-found-out-this-picture#notes (proof of Renee being there when he filmed lockdown)

http://jade-deanee.tumblr.com/post/152420086692/no-social-media-jon#notes (proof that Dean attented a concert with Matt without Renee)

http://deanee-express.tumblr.com/post/125507042086/dreaming-of-ambrenee-deanee-express (proof of the guitar display case)

http://jade-deanee.tumblr.com/post/156220456027#notes (you can see the guitar display case here but the background is vague though) 

http://deanee-express.tumblr.com/post/141545589101/credit-to-aqibshah14-on-twitter (sighting)

http://deanee-express.tumblr.com/post/143649910761/papi-on-twitter (sighting)

http://deanee-express.tumblr.com/post/150098818126/juanonone07-on-twitter-saw-renee-and-dean-in-the (sighting)

[in-the-midst-of-everything]

Hey today was one fuck of a day!!!

Idk if I should bitch about it first or talk about yesterday, cuz yesterday was pretty good. But damn. Today just fucking sucks. I think I will do that first cuz ending with happy thoughts sounds like a better idea. And I gotta get this off my chest.

So we went to biolife yesterday and couldn't donate, so we both loaded up on iron and tried again today. Nothing. Both of us got turned away for one point below safe iron levels. Idk how?? I usually have good luck with donating, only if I haven't eaten enough I get turned away, but I had plenty of food in the prior 24 hours, ate a bowl of toasty-o's (80% daily iron value???) Which usually does the trick but nah. A wasted trip up to point, planned on coming home with $50 in gas money but NOPE. Now I'm down to 13 (?) on my biolife card and $75 to my name otherwise. That's it. That's all I got. So much for getting my shit sorted out in 2k18 cuz I am waaaaaaaaaaay behind on that plan. I have money coming from uncle Tim and Kathy, plus 2 art commissions I need to kick my ass into gear for, so I'll be ok but FUCK man. It's fucking July in a week and I'm STILL fucking scraping by

And I am PISSED at Sharon but I don't know how to tell her cuz I've been trained out of being confrontational my entire life and I don't wanna lose my damn job cuz she's been an absolute bitch lately. But I'm STILL getting half fucking paychecks cuz I guess I'm still paying off the forwarded money from this winter, I wasn't aware this would be going halfway the fuck into summer, I've drained my savings paying bills and fixing my fucking car I have next to nothing left. I can't buy food. I can't buy alcohol to cope, I can't do literally anything cuz I'm motherfucking broke. I was supposed to have money saved up to take the cats to the vet, get my motorcycle liscence and start looking for a bike, save money for a road trip this fall, but fuck ALL of that cuz I'm cruzing through the year by skin of my teeth.

And the big kicker, the motherfucking cherry on top, I haven't been getting my full 40 each week. Sharon has some kind of crisis going on that she's watching her money, so I missed 5 hours last week cuz she didn't have anything for me to do??? Bull fucking SHIT there is SO MUCH that needs to be done around that fucking place but she sent me home. ON TOP OF cutting my summer hours from 10/day to 9.5 to 9.75. Which isn't a huge change but really???? Just. WHY.

And I also mentioned she's been damn near unbearable all year so far, everything I thought she wanted from me is flipped now. I started clocking in right from the start 5 mins early. Cuz she specifically sat me down and told me last year she hated me being there on the dot, that I could punch in 5 mins early. Well now I guess I clock out early too, "just in case you go over time". Which is easy enough to fucking fix, just clock out sooner next day BUT WHATEVER. IDFK SHARON.

And I didn't say anything when she first told me this shit cuz I can't process information that fast and what it means on my end so I just agree on the spot and fuck myself over.

SO. I went into work today an hour later by her request, after a whole morning of low key panicking about money and doing the nasty ass dishes. She left almost immediately after showing me what to clean up by the big garage, and after I washed the rtv I fucked off and sat in the office with Holly for an hour. Cuz I needed someone to talk to, just bs with and not anything important. And it was pretty good. I had developed a migraine on the way home from point and chilling out in the office helped it. I spent the next 7 hours weed whacking the shit outta the mess around the big garage, pulling water line tubing from the matted grass, and organizing the trash into a burn pile and pick up pile. It sped time along really fast actually, and I was actually pretty ok for most of the day, aside from itchy, sweaty and frustrated. I cleaned the bathrooms at 10 and sat around wasting time for a bit to push my time to midnight to make the most out of my night, and on the walk back to put my shit away 2 things happened.

1st Sharon texted me at 11:40 asking if I was still cleaning bathrooms. Fucking yes, I have til midnight and I came in late, I'm not going over time in anyway ffs.

2nd one of Rome's buddies caught me on my way past and asked me over for a shot of his long island iced tea, which ofc I accepted. It was good, I haven't had hard liquor in so long it was actually really good. He asked what I was up to and told me about how Sharon busted them last night at 1am having fun in the camper. Cuz it was past "quiet time". On a Friday night, really Sharon? God, no fun allowed. He offered me a ride back to put my cleaning shit away, and I mentioned that I had to clock out and head home. Immediately after getting in my car I thought wtf, I should've made better conversation?? Like, at least act like I would hang around if they invited me, cuz I totally would, I've been so socially deprived lately it's not even funny. But I didnt??? I just was like....ya...I'm headed home. And he didn't push, but like. Idk. It all boils down to I have a paranoia about my image at the campground. As stupid as that sounds. But I'm literally always doing manual labor, usually focused on a job or have headphones as earplugs in so I can't talk (not that Sharon would let me anyway) and I leave right after I clock out cuz no one invites me over cuz I don't talk to anyone. Like I feel like my presence there isn't impacting literally anyone, I'm just the Employee That Does Work and that's it. And this paranoia was cemented recently when I finally followed the Facebook page, saw how often she updates and all the pics and videos she uses have like, Bill and Holly and other campers in them, she was showing off the jump pad and stuff and like...that wouldn't be there without me. I spent days digging the fucking trench for the electric line by hand, AFTER clearing the field and leveling the plot. AND I helped roll it out and set it up. Like idk I feel like I do all the hard work but don't get to join in any of the fun? And it just feels really shitty when none of your work is acknowledged. And going back to my intial(?) point, I'm so socially deprived and downright //lonely//. And I feel bad saying it cuz Hope and I live together, we're literally always sharing space together but I feel like I have no one else. Kenzie's barely existing being dragged down by work and money stress, I try to stay in close touch but it's hard. And out of this circle? Nothing. Kenzie has Dan and her coworkers to talk to, Hope is constantly on discord talking to the chat there, she tells me all about that. And I have...no one else. I message my sisters frequently but they're both insanely busy. I'm seeing Nikki and Cassy on Wednesday to help them move, but despite Nikki and I really hitting it off we don't actually talk regularly and that kinda makes me sad. But I'm conflicted there too, I'll rant in another post about that.

And idk. I'm just so. Genuinely. Lonely. I have no one to go see (not that I'd have the fucking time lmao) no one to talk to, starting new aquaintenceships is exhausting as all hell, and when I'm not around Hope I'm alone with my own thoughts. I've always been a loner, I'm comfortable in my own company and I can have fun by myself...but it's really taking a toll on me. Especially since Hope and kenzie seem like they can't keep up with me. I'm ready to do almost anything, anytime, but Hope needs several days' warning to do anything big and kenzies always tired. We managed a friend day out a couple weeks ago, we went out to Rabbit rock and I could've explored and climbed for another 2 hours, but their legs hurt and it was hot out, and they headed back to the car while I was still on the rock. There was plenty of daylight left and I would've loved to visit the woods or go hang at the lake, but we ended up heading back home and chilling at the apartment. Which was fine. I wasn't mad or anything, I just wanted more outside time. I miss the excitement, the sense of adventure. Kenzie and I made it out to the woods once this spring, and we didn't even wander. We just drove out to scope out the trails and left. And it's getting so hard to hang out in general, our work schedules never align and we're all broke af. I'm so exausted. I'm sick and tired of working our asses off but not getting ahead. We're all fucking behind yet despite all our efforts, it's just not good enough.

I came home tonight with all these thoughts knocking around in my head and doing all I could to hold back tears. Immediately grabbed my 2 beers from the fridge and got in the shower, tried to relax myself and drown out some of the panic, but it's not feeling like it's working. I'm just mildly dizzy Andy headaches coming back from crying. Idk what to do anymore. I have plans for once in my life but even the simplest goals are continuously just out of reach. I tell myself to just keep rolling with it, try to build momentum and you'll get there eventually. But I'm so far from making any headway. I'm keeping my head up but it's getting so, so hard....

[platatoandsoquoquediscovern-blog]

Soquoque discovers:

My thoughts while watching twilight breaking dawn part 2, in 100 sentences or less  

1.       WHY ARE THE OPENING CREDITS SO LONG?

2.       Lol Bella is a vampire now, SURPRISE.

3.       AAAAH CGI PANTHER IS CGI

4.       Also, a panther? Really Bella? Way to overachieve

5.       Ew ew, CGI baby is CGI and really fucking weird looking

6.       Bella is about to beat Jacobs butt (also why does he take so long to tell her that he imprinted on her infant. Bruh this is not the moment to be vague)

7.       Kristen Stewart angry is only slightly more expressive then everyday Kristen Stewart

8.       Baby had feelings for Jacob in the womb

9.       Ah no Seth… Sam..? the brown werewolf

10.   Shortest fight EVER

11.   Also, anyone notice how he calls her Ness once and then literally never again.

12.   Aaaaah CGI baby is still heavily CGI

13.   I feel like part of Bella’s reason for being in this movie is to just point out all the stuff about vampires we already know since this is the fifth fucking movie. E.g. “vampires don’t sleep”

14.   Tbh this movie has a really good soundtrack, and a lot of sparkle effects  

15.   There she goes again pointing shit out “we don’t get tired” yeah Bella, we fucking know

16.   Directors message to Jacob was “eat this sandwich and stare out of the window longingly” and Taylor Lautner was like “I got this”

17.   Why didn’t Jacob know the entire plan? Like what did they expect him to do. I would totally go and wolf out in front of Bella’s father if I got this totally out of the blue news

18.   I fucking love Charlie man.  And Taylor Lautner’s work out programme.

19.   Was the acting always this bad? Also did Edward always sound like he was from Boston, New York?

20.   Lol these vampires seriously overestimate what we as a human species notice about each other. Move your shoulders so it looks like you’re breathing? You know how often I notice if people are breathing? Never

21.   Carlisle got tan-ish. I like it

22.   Kristen Stewart pretending to be Bella pretending to be a human-being-like Kristen Stewart is a sight and a half

23.   Charlie took all of this crap a lot better than they gave him credit for. Also, was he even in the Part 1? Or is this whole concerned dad act only present when the script calls for it?

24.   Bella makes promises she can’t keep

25.   Bells? Bells? Nope don’t even try to pull that surprise nickname thing Chuck. Also, aaaaah CGI baby is back. Again I ask, why couldn’t they JUST USE A NORMAL HUMAN BABY. YOU MADE A SHIT TON OF MONEY TWILIGHT, BUT YOU COULDN’T SPRING FOR A ACTUAL BABY (ASSUMING THEY ARE ALSO PAIID ACTORS OBVIOUSLY)

26.   The movie has time for a Bella vs Emmet arm wrestling match in case you forgot that new-borns are stronger than their aged vampire counter parts

27.   “That’s right bitches, I sparkle too now” – Bella, circa 2012

28.   “we shake hands now you forgive us for trying to kill the girl you loved and her baby. Yes?” “Yes.”

29.   Also, wtf is Reneesme and why do we only see this really high jumping power once and never again?

30.   Also, also, fuck Irina.

31.   Also, also also AAAAAAAH CGI EIGHT-YEAR-OLD IS CGI

32.   Yay, the Edward piano solo I was waiting for… said literally no one ever

33.   Damn she got to Rome fast.

34.   Also, the Voltari man. If you look up creepy old guys in the dictionary you will see their picture, posing like Charlie’s angels

35.   Can we run through Alice’s plan really quickly? She has this vision that the Voltari are ‘coming for them’ and then she, the fucking future see-er just bounces? Leaving them all to their own devices? Like what a dick move Alice- and yeah yeah I get that she needed to go find that other vampire-human hybrid and shit but a heads up would have been nice

36.   Also, “Vampire sex?” “No, too graphic.” “Throwing babies into fires?” “Yeah, that should be fine.”- the producers, probably

37.   Does Rosalee… Rosaline… Nikki Reed’s character, only have like five lines in this entire movie?

38.   Oh, look it’s those two shock ladies and that one brunette lady.

39.   AAAAH CGI 8-YEAR-OLD- YOU GET THE POINT

40.   Wow do all vampires overreact like this

41.   she touches their faces and now everything’s fine (even though they tried to kill her like 2 seconds ago)

42.   Yaaaaay Rami Malek. Look at the nature man go.

43.   Benjamin is the bestest

44.   Random safari ladies are fucking random… but appreciated

45.   Mentions the unpredictability of the nomad Peter… nothing happens ever again

46.   We have eighteen people, yay

47.   You don’t want to fight Allister? Then why are you here dude

48.   Its CGI jungle within a CGI jungle- its CGI-CEPTION

49.   Ooooooh, she’s a shield…. We knew that but okay

50.   The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming

51.   I thought Jacob was supposed to be the smart wolf… why is he hopelessly jumping at trees he can’t climb?

52.   Cedric Diggory: Hufflepuff, piano player, vegetarian, prize speech giver.

53.   Lol Bella stood up like she has a choice in whether to fight or not. Its your child babe, you best fight.

54.   Sudden introduction to Jane’s psycho brother Alec is sudden

55.   You’re telling me the Voltari found this one chump who couldn’t get to Carlisle house in time? That’s convenient

56.   And thus, commences Bella’s training, which lasts like five minutes before she totally has that shit down. And henceforth to the battlefield

57.   Also, Edward and Emmet make this scene… and the entire movie really

58.   Oh right, Reneesme is in this movie… forgot about her. Thanks for the bedtime story reading time thing twilight makers

59.   Bella: new-born, question-asker, part time Sherlock Holmes. Also, Edward GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER MAN. YOUR CHILD’S LIFE IS AT STAKE

60.   Ah Charlie, poor, hopeless, oblivious Charlie.

61.   Bella sits in a restaurant while her child’s life hangs in the balance  

62.   Also, AH, ITS RACHEL ZANES FATHER

63.   Bella has some seriously crappy handwriting… also goodbye Allister, we all knew you wouldn’t last

64.   Look at that, Charlie has a girlfriend.  And I don’t care

65.   Uhm I got up and left for like 3 minutes and now… campfire? Okay cool.

66.   These stories are really freaking depressing…. anyone know any good Dracula stories?

67.   Father- son bonding moments for the win.

68.   But side note, Edward never thanked Carlisle once for saving his life? Not even once? Dick move Cullen, dick move.

69.   Dum dum duh dum… landscapes, snow, so…many…vampires

70.   I love how they all stand in nice little groups just to really emphasise how pathetic the Cullen Army is compared to the monstrosity that is the Voltari

71.   Remove the hoods of our coats so they know we mean business

72.   Hey Carlisle, if you move closer you won’t have to yell

73.   If there was ever a time to vampire speed run, IT WOULD BE NOW EDWARD

74.   Question: what exactly is Aro’s ability again? He can read a persons past? Their minds? Their hands?

75.   “Emmet, you and Jacob in the back. Edward and I will protect her from the side. Ready? Break” – Bella probably

76.   Dude, I will never get over Aro’s creepy as shit laugh. Like we get it dude, you’re batshit crazy, no need to scare the kids.

77.   These Voltari don’t play around… they brought torches and everything. Also, oh no that lady that betrayed the Cullen’s is dead…but on the plus side Bella is actually being useful for once so yay?

78.   “Suck on my awesome shield making powers bitch”- Bella, probably again

79.   Lol Aro stopped Alec from unleashing his slow ass fog on the Cullen’s like it was going to make a difference?

80.   Such…a long…speech

81.   Alice is back yay… took her sweet ass time getting here though. Also, WHY IS NO ONE VAMPIRE RUNNING?

82.   Okay so a summary of the events taking place right now: everything is going to shit. Carlisle is dead (not gonna lie, the first time I watched this movie I lost my shit when that happened) and basically everyone is killing everyone. But obvs the Cullen’s have to win or else what is the point although all logic would say that they really shouldn’t because they have eighteen fucking vampires and the Voltari have like…a lot more than eighteen but hey, Cullen’s for the win

83.   “Aaaaaaaaand it was all an illusion suckers. Fuck you for thinking we would kill Carlisle, we love that guy” – the maker of twilight, probably.

84.   Hey there’s that Brazilian vampire-human hybrid dude that’s going to save the day. Woohoo

85.   Oh, so NOW they vampire run. Fucking stupid ass Voltari

86.   Lol another father-son bonding moment. Easy there son Jacob, respect your dad

87.   Aww look at the happy family on the CGI beach.

88.   And now folks, a recap of the past four movies… you know, just in case you missed it.

89.   Is it just me or are they just making up Bella’s ‘abilities’ as we go along. What, now she can remove her shield and let Edward read her mind. Fuck off twilight people.

90.   Also, AAAAHHHH its younger, creepier Edward

91.   And just like that, the end of an era. So long you sparkly sons of bitches

92.   So…many…end credits. (I do love this song though)

93.   Wait, is Booboo Stewart related to Kristen Stewart? Please hold while I Google this

94.   He’s not.

[caityamyvr-blog]

My thoughts while watching Breaking Dawn Part 2: in up to 100 sentences

1.       WHY ARE THE OPENING CREDITS SO LONG?

2.       Lol Bella is a vampire now, SURPRISE.

3.       AAAAH CGI PANTHER IS CGI

4.       Also, a panther? Really Bella? Way to overachieve

5.       Ew ew, CGI baby is CGI and really fucking weird looking

6.       Bella is about to beat Jacobs butt (also why does he take so long to tell her that he imprinted on her infant. Bruh this is not the moment to be vague)

7.       Kristen Stewart angry is only slightly more expressive then everyday Kristen Stewart

8.       Baby had feelings for Jacob in the womb

9.       Ah no Seth… Sam..? the brown werewolf

10.   Shortest fight EVER

11.   Also, anyone notice how he calls her Ness once and then literally never again.

12.   Aaaaah CGI baby is still heavily CGI

13.   I feel like part of Bella’s reason for being in this movie is to just point out all the stuff about vampires we already know since this is the fifth fucking movie. E.g. “vampires don’t sleep”

14.   Tbh this movie has a really good soundtrack, and a lot of sparkle effects  

15.   There she goes again pointing shit out “we don’t get tired” yeah Bella, we fucking know

16.   Directors message to Jacob was “eat this sandwich and stare out of the window longingly” and Taylor Lautner was like “I got this”

17.   Why didn’t Jacob know the entire plan? Like what did they expect him to do. I would totally go and wolf out in front of Bella’s father if I got this totally out of the blue news

18.   I fucking love Charlie man.  And Taylor Lautner’s work out programme.

19.   Was the acting always this bad? Also did Edward always sound like he was from Boston, New York?

20.   Lol these vampires seriously overestimate what we as a human species notice about each other. Move your shoulders so it looks like you’re breathing? You know how often I notice if people are breathing? Never

21.   Carlisle got tan-ish. I like it

22.   Kristen Stewart pretending to be Bella pretending to be a human-being-like Kristen Stewart is a sight and a half

23.   Charlie took all of this crap a lot better than they gave him credit for. Also, was he even in the Part 1? Or is this whole concerned dad act only present when the script calls for it?

24.   Bella makes promises she can’t keep

25.   Bells? Bells? Nope don’t even try to pull that surprise nickname thing Chuck. Also, aaaaah CGI baby is back. Again I ask, why couldn’t they JUST USE A NORMAL HUMAN BABY. YOU MADE A SHIT TON OF MONEY TWILIGHT, BUT YOU COULDN’T SPRING FOR A ACTUAL BABY (ASSUMING THEY ARE ALSO PAIID ACTORS OBVIOUSLY)

26.   The movie has time for a Bella vs Emmet arm wrestling match in case you forgot that new-borns are stronger than their aged vampire counter parts

27.   “That’s right bitches, I sparkle too now” – Bella, circa 2012

28.   “we shake hands now you forgive us for trying to kill the girl you loved and her baby. Yes?” “Yes.”

29.   Also, wtf is Reneesme and why do we only see this really high jumping power once and never again?

30.   Also, also, fuck Irina.

31.   Also, also also AAAAAAAH CGI EIGHT-YEAR-OLD IS CGI

32.   Yay, the Edward piano solo I was waiting for… said literally no one ever

33.   Damn she got to Rome fast.

34.   Also, the Voltari man. If you look up creepy old guys in the dictionary you will see their picture, posing like Charlie’s angels

35.   Can we run through Alice’s plan really quickly? She has this vision that the Voltari are ‘coming for them’ and then she, the fucking future see-er just bounces? Leaving them all to their own devices? Like what a dick move Alice- and yeah yeah I get that she needed to go find that other vampire-human hybrid and shit but a heads up would have been nice

36.   Also, “Vampire sex?” “No, too graphic.” “Throwing babies into fires?” “Yeah, that should be fine.”- the producers, probably

37.   Does Rosalee… Rosaline… Nikki Reed’s character, only have like five lines in this entire movie?

38.   Oh, look it’s those two shock ladies and that one brunette lady.

39.   AAAAH CGI 8-YEAR-OLD- YOU GET THE POINT

40.   Wow do all vampires overreact like this

41.   she touches their faces and now everything’s fine (even though they tried to kill her like 2 seconds ago)

42.   Yaaaaay Rami Malek. Look at the nature man go.

43.   Benjamin is the bestest

44.   Random safari ladies are fucking random… but appreciated

45.   Mentions the unpredictability of the nomad Peter… nothing happens ever again

46.   We have eighteen people, yay

47.   You don’t want to fight Allister? Then why are you here dude

48.   Its CGI jungle within a CGI jungle- its CGI-CEPTION

49.   Ooooooh, she’s a shield…. We knew that but okay

50.   The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming

51.   I thought Jacob was supposed to be the smart wolf… why is he hopelessly jumping at trees he can’t climb?

52.   Cedric Diggory: Hufflepuff, piano player, vegetarian, prize speech giver.

53.   Lol Bella stood up like she has a choice in whether to fight or not. Its your child babe, you best fight.

54.   Sudden introduction to Jane’s psycho brother Alec is sudden

55.   You’re telling me the Voltari found this one chump who couldn’t get to Carlisle house in time? That’s convenient

56.   And thus, commences Bella’s training, which lasts like five minutes before she totally has that shit down. And henceforth to the battlefield

57.   Also, Edward and Emmet make this scene… and the entire movie really

58.   Oh right, Reneesme is in this movie… forgot about her. Thanks for the bedtime story reading time thing twilight makers

59.   Bella: new-born, question-asker, part time Sherlock Holmes. Also, Edward GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER MAN. YOUR CHILD’S LIFE IS AT STAKE

60.   Ah Charlie, poor, hopeless, oblivious Charlie.

61.   Bella sits in a restaurant while her child’s life hangs in the balance  

62.   Also, AH, ITS RACHEL ZANES FATHER

63.   Bella has some seriously crappy handwriting… also goodbye Allister, we all knew you wouldn’t last

64.   Look at that, Charlie has a girlfriend.  And I don’t care

65.   Uhm I got up and left for like 3 minutes and now… campfire? Okay cool.

66.   These stories are really freaking depressing…. anyone know any good Dracula stories?

67.   Father- son bonding moments for the win.

68.   But side note, Edward never thanked Carlisle once for saving his life? Not even once? Dick move Cullen, dick move.

69.   Dum dum duh dum… landscapes, snow, so…many…vampires

70.   I love how they all stand in nice little groups just to really emphasise how pathetic the Cullen Army is compared to the monstrosity that is the Voltari

71.   Remove the hoods of our coats so they know we mean business

72.   Hey Carlisle, if you move closer you won’t have to yell

73.   If there was ever a time to vampire speed run, IT WOULD BE NOW EDWARD

74.   Question: what exactly is Aro’s ability again? He can read a persons past? Their minds? Their hands?

75.   “Emmet, you and Jacob in the back. Edward and I will protect her from the side. Ready? Break” – Bella probably

76.   Dude, I will never get over Aro’s creepy as shit laugh. Like we get it dude, you’re batshit crazy, no need to scare the kids.

77.   These Voltari don’t play around… they brought torches and everything. Also, oh no that lady that betrayed the Cullen’s is dead…but on the plus side Bella is actually being useful for once so yay?

78.   “Suck on my awesome shield making powers bitch”- Bella, probably again

79.   Lol Aro stopped Alec from unleashing his slow ass fog on the Cullen’s like it was going to make a difference?

80.   Such…a long…speech

81.   Alice is back yay… took her sweet ass time getting here though. Also, WHY IS NO ONE VAMPIRE RUNNING?

82.   Okay so a summary of the events taking place right now: everything is going to shit. Carlisle is dead (not gonna lie, the first time I watched this movie I lost my shit when that happened) and basically everyone is killing everyone. But obvs the Cullen’s have to win or else what is the point although all logic would say that they really shouldn’t because they have eighteen fucking vampires and the Voltari have like…a lot more than eighteen but hey, Cullen’s for the win

83.   “Aaaaaaaaand it was all an illusion suckers. Fuck you for thinking we would kill Carlisle, we love that guy” – the maker of twilight, probably.

84.   Hey there’s that Brazilian vampire-human hybrid dude that’s going to save the day. Woohoo

85.   Oh, so NOW they vampire run. Fucking stupid ass Voltari

86.   Lol another father-son bonding moment. Easy there son Jacob, respect your dad

87.   Aww look at the happy family on the CGI beach.

88.   And now folks, a recap of the past four movies… you know, just in case you missed it.

89.   Is it just me or are they just making up Bella’s ‘abilities’ as we go along. What, now she can remove her shield and let Edward read her mind. Fuck off twilight people.

90.   Also, AAAAHHHH its younger, creepier Edward

91.   And just like that, the end of an era. So long you sparkly sons of bitches

92.   So…many…end credits. (I do love this song though)

93.   Wait, is Booboo Stewart related to Kristen Stewart? Please hold while I Google this

94.   He’s not.