#this is literally done in about 10 minutes so it's one of my 'some energy to cook but not a lot' meals

[amagurith]

speaking of food i just had for dinner a big pita with spicy garlic chicken thigh meat with extra spicy garlic sauce and i think i met god for a brief second while i was eating it

[girlboypersonthingy]

Would it be ok to request Vox with an affectionate s/o?

More than okay, nonnie! I’ve been getting so many requests bro, literally every time I post one, I get like 2 more in its place. IM LIVING FOR IT, KEEP IT COMING YALL! But also plz be patient with me 🥺 been waiting for a request for my flat-faced prince. Tbh the first time I watched Hazbin, my immediate reaction to Vox was ‘OH NO HES HOT!!!’ So, enjoy these headcanons 😘

Notes: gn!reader, maybe a little ooc Vox?

Vox x reader- Affection 💋

Also oh my fucking godddddd the vest, him in a vest. I need more Vox in a vest PRONTO…🥵

Okay so like…bro is more dirty minded.

He’s genuinely confused when you kiss his cheek or hold his hand like ???

Oh….you’re not just trying to fuck him and get famous?

Cuteee~

Sure, he’s fucked and made out with ppl and probably done some other crazy shit but his experience with sappy romance and affection like you show him is very limited.

He’s pretty dense, he’s got a tough shell and doesn’t really understand love languages and stuff like that.

His love language is most definitely gift giving and I just know he’s terrible at actually showing his feeling through words or romantic gestures or physical affection.

It’s usually just like “Hey! I love ya! I got you this.” *insert item you’d flip your lid over*

At least he’s a good gift giver! He really does try to give you cool stuff he knows you’ll like but he’s still learning how to actually speak about his feelings and show it physically.

He tries to match your energy the best he can

Get him gifts!!! Plz he loves homemade gifts too- gift him art, sing him an original song, sew him something, whatever your skills or talents may be, use them and he’ll adore it and also praise tf out of you

You took time to make this just for him? ‘Marry me’

Besides fucking around with Val, Vox doesn’t get much affection so he very quickly falls in love with all the sweet affectionate touches you frequently show him.

It’s all so different than Val, so sensitive and genuine. It really makes him swoon~

Melts when you kiss the corners of his screen- there’s something about non mouth kisses that really gets to him

He gets a huge dorky love stuck grin when you sit in his lap and hug him close, also hugs you back super tight

Absolutely loves kissing you and then noticing the lingering smudges/lipstick marks on his screen later

Fix his bow tie while giving him a sneaky wink in front of his crew and he’ll huff and look away while trying to hold back a smile

Invites you on his nightly broadcast as a guest one time and quickly learned how embarrassed he becomes when you flirt and call him pet names on live TV in front of tons of viewers

After only 10 minutes of talking, giggling and giving him bedroom eyes, Vox was struggling to maintain his composure- you’re so fucking cute.

All you had to do was laugh loudly at one of his crude jokes about Alastor and call him your “honey bunny” and suddenly the entire V tower lost power.

Poor man literally short circuits over your darling voice calling him such soft names- he’s so down bad for you he can’t even hide it

Val and Velvette have that specific episode downloaded and saved to every device they own bc there’s no way they are letting this go, he’s never living this down

If you pause the video right before it cuts out, just before the power goes out, Vox has literal hearts for eyes and his entire screen briefly becomes this bright blushy pink color- that’s a color no one has ever seen on him

Just keep doing your thing, you little hopeless romantic, and you’ll see that color more often.

But Vox might have to leave you at home when filming bc he can’t control himself around you sometimes and you obviously can’t either 🖤

[kirikeijii]

𝐂𝐨-𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Movie star ! Toge Inumaki x Movie star ! Reader SMAU

Chapter 1 - Trending Hangout Sesh

Prolouge - Auditions Prev← → Chapter 2 - The First Week on Set

Synopsis: You saw a job offer for a new upcoming movie —Jujutsu Kaisen 0— starring some of the most famous actors: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Yuta Okkutsu, and Maki Zenin. The requirement for the character's personality was a match made in heaven. The character was perky, smiley, talkative, in short, a ball of energy. In contrast to your character: a quiet and observant role was played by Toge Inumaki, your character's love interest. To get the chemistry on screen you had to spend time with him. Despite his character personality, he was the complete opposite on set. The world watches the two of you do interviews and vlogs about the upcoming movie. The world watches you fall in love with each other without even knowing yourselves. At some point, the world knows how whipped you are for each other except for the two of you.

Inumaki, Toge: 2:29pm

Kugisaki, Name 2:53pm

Inumaki, Toge 2:55pm

Kugisaki, Name and Inumaki, Toge 6:50pm.

You sat at the top of the stairs, the foot that only had a sock on laid on top of your other leg. 10 minutes later you heard steps up the stairs and then you were met with the white-haired boy. "Took you long enough."

"I'm sorry, I had to climb up 4 flights of stairs." He narrowed his eyes making you laugh. "C'mon, give me your foot." He kneeled.

"No- I can do it." you tried taking the shoe from him. "It's fine, c'mon." You hopped on one foot, hands on the railing as he slipped your shoe on. You felt yourself smiling and secretly taking a picture immediately posting it, head in the clouds. You quickly caught on to what you were doing.

Trying to cancel the post, you accidentally pressed the post button unknowingly. "Done! C'mon, I'll show you my brainrot collection." He smiled evilly making you giggle. "That's not true, right?" You asked him walking into the elevator. You grew concerned when he didn't answer. "Toge? It's not true, right?"

30 minutes later you arrived at his apartment and to your surprise he was neat and clean with it. "Wow, I didn't think your apartment was this clean." You looked around. He had games, trophies, anime figures, and his merch displayed. "Why, because I'm a boy?" He peaked through the entrance door. You thought for a bit then agreed to what he said. "Fair enough." He shrugged.

"So, what'd you wanna do?" You ask him. "We could order food, we could get to know each other and study our lines." He smiled at you while pouring a glass of water in the small open-concept kitchen. "Y-yeah, I'd like that." You smiled back before cringing at your stuttering.

Your talk with him went on for 30 more minutes when he started to get tons of notifications. "Sorry, I just need to check this." His mouth formed a thin line while he looked at his phone, you could see his eyebrows furrow. "What's wrong?" You asked him. His mouth was still a thin line, and he showed you his phone. Your face went pale with what you saw.

"I can explain." You gulped. "Okay, so when you tied my shoes, I thought you looked really cute, and my hand acted on its own taking the picture and almost posting it. But then I went back to reality and I thought I drafted the post because I didn't look at it after. So. . . I'm very sorry, I'll explain everything to your mana. . ger? Are you okay. . ?" You rambled making your eyebrows furrow.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Be careful next time?" He smiled at you softly. You immediately nodded at his response. "Anyway, I need to go to the bathroom. Nature's calling." He whispered the last part. "Toge, ew. I'm literally eating." You scoffed in disgust. "Mmm, I'm gonna shit so hard-"

"Please, stop?!" after that, it's just random gibberish about how he's gonna use the bathroom and you telling him to stop. Okay, he wasn't actually going to shit. He just wanted to fanboy about the fact that you called him cute while looking through the thread of your Twitter.

ᯓ★You actually pressed draft but then you butt-posted the whole thing. Haha, suffer.

ᯓ★Your PR manager messaged you 76 times over the past hour about the post.

ᯓ★Inumaki told Yuuta about what you did and Yuuta is kicking his feet for Inumaki.

ᯓ★You spent the night at Inumaki's and left at 3am so no paparazzi came at you with questions.

ᯓ★Thank you for reading<3 | Masterlist

ᯓ★Tags: @sophiasrant @dazqa @anqelkoz @walllflowerrrsss

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

I want more elaboration on banging a glowing one like Jason or Oswald

I am happy to provide that elaboration, Anon.

Sex with a glowing one is definitely the "triple black diamond" of ghoul fucking; done at a not-insubstantial level of personal risk, but quite the thrill if you do it right. They're so radioactive that they irradiate the immediate area around them, meaning you're taking on rads like the Titanic taking on ice water from the moment you come close enough to even touch them.

If you value the health of your organs, do NOT imbibe any of their bodily fluids in any way, down to swallowing too much saliva. You may feel tempted to push this early on, to test what the limits are for only fairly close contact, but don't be shocked when something as minor as losing track of the length of a makeout session leads to you spitting blood and feeling less than stellar. Older non-glowing ghouls have higher amounts of radiation in their fluids, as well, but at levels that are moreso concerning in the medium and long-term. Rad-X will help some, but I imagine the limits of its efficacy would be tested in a situation like this. If you're gonna take it, you might plan to do so about every fifteen minutes; otherwise, I hope you're shooting for a quickie!

Honestly, I know that it seems like about 95% of ghouls who make it to the glowing stage either become feral or they're so decayed mentally that they're practically there, but...that remaining 5% would be absolute menaces in bed in terms of stamina. In my mind, radiation is literally re-energizing for ghouls in addition to being a source of increased healing. As glowing ones produce their own radiation, well...it's basically perpetual sex energy, yeah? I imagine you'll be in a Brannigan-esque "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and weak" sort of spot long before your radiant lover is ready to tap out.

I think that choosing to sleep with a glowing ghoul would definitely not be an option for the less rad-resistant (unless, of course, you're especially suicidal or self-hating; being wracked with radiation sickness or covered in burns isn't particularly fun or erotic to most). With older or more radioactive ghouls who haven't advanced to the glowing stage, outercourse or heavy petting/making out might still be an option up to a certain point, but if you have no personal defense against radiation, you may as well pop an unshielded power core into one of your orifices instead. You'll take less rads and possibly die less painfully.

The ideal partner for a glowing one, at least in terms of "safety compatibility", is another ghoul. Or, you know, a 10 Endurance human with an absurd supply of Radaway.

[ughgoaway]

matty leaving the studio early and bringing teacher girlie a travel mug of peppermint tea to the school during her lunch breaks when shes early on in the pregnancy because he knows how nauseous shes been 🥺

Oh, this is SO SWEET. I just know Matty would be doing absolutely everything he could to make sure you were as happy as you could be, pregnancy is rough as fuck (from what I've heard lmao) so he does whatever little things he can to make it better. 

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

You've probably been violently nauseous the first trimester, the only thing you can stomach is peppermint tea and crackers. So imagine your disappointment when you get to work, and there's no peppermint tea left in the cupboard. Despite you labelling it a thousand times, someone had stolen it.

You fight the tears brewing and take a deep breath, you almost text Matty to complain to him but you are starting to feel bad about how much he is dealing with from you.

Every morning you wake up and immediately rush to the bathroom to vomit, to say the morning sickness has been bad would be the understatement of the century. And each time, despite your protests, Matty comes to sit with you. Sometimes he rubs your back or holds your hair but mostly he just sits with you. And once you're done coughing up your guts, he escorts you back to bed and doesn't let you get up until he's made you some herbal tea.

He kisses your forehead with a cheesy smile as you hands you your tea, and feels his heart flutter each time you grin up at him before taking your first sip. Matty always waits for you to take one sip, he loves the little happy wiggle you do each time. It was the little things like that that made him fall so unbelievably in love with you. And you doing those same things whilst pregnant with his child? well, lets just say the fact that he's not just staring at you lovesick all day is impressive.

But you're feeling pretty high maintenance about it all, despite Matty assuring you he would do this and more if it made you even fractionally happier. so you don't message. You take a shaky breath and shut the cupboard, going back to your classroom with no tea and trying to prepare for the energy of god knows how many 5-year-olds.

When lunch swings around and you finally get 5 minutes of silence, you once again feel like crying. God pregnancy hormones were making you a fucking mess. you felt as if your brain was swimming in them, and you weren't even that far along.

The kids had been gone for just 10 minutes when you get a knock at your door, and you assume it's one of them coming back to annoy you. You love them, but you sometimes just need time away. 

However, it was literally your job to look after them, so you plaster on a faux smile and say, “Come in!” in your fakest sweet voice. 

You can't hide the gasp of surprise that escapes you when Matty walks in, he's wearing the leather jacket and douchey rockstar sunglasses combo you loved so much, and holding your favourite travel mug. 

He pulls his glasses off with a smile, pressing a kiss on your head when he finally reaches your desk. “Hi my love, just popping in to drop you some peppermint tea. Assumed you wouldn't get a second over lunch to grab your own, and I know how nauseous you've been so I brought it from the studio for you” he softly says, leaning on your desk and stroking your cheek with his cold hands.

“But the studio is so far from here?” you say, sipping the tea happily. And Matty can't hide the Cheshire cat-like grin that pulls at his cheek when he sees you do that little happy wiggle he loves so much. 

“I know, but I had to come and see my girls! And this little one of course. Saw Annie running around like a maniac outside already” Matty rubs your stomach with a grin on his face, flicking his eyes from your face to your bump. He was obsessed with your little bump, even though you're only a few months along matty insists on having his hands on you whenever he can. 

You immediately tear up at his words, and you can't help but let them fall, borderline sobbing in the middle of your classroom over some tea.

Matty immediately snaps into overprotective dad/boyfriend mode, “Woah woah woah. Whats up sweetheart? You okay? Is the baby bothering you or something?” he crouches next to your chair and tries to wipe the tears falling down your cheeks, but they keep streaming as you blubber and sob even harder at his words. 

You try to give him a coherent response, but nothing apart from vaguely word-sounding gibberish leaves your lips, matty gives you a worried look and pulls you into his neck. Rubbing your back gently and shushing you softly, “Oh it's okay darling, whatever it is we can fix it okay? Do you not want the tea? Because I can go throw it away right now” he assures you, pulling your head from his neck and holding your face between his hands.

His worried eyes scan your features, desperately trying to figure out what made you suddenly burst into tears. You sniffle and eventually, your tears stop falling, now you just have wet pink cheeks and a slightly snotty nose.

You suck in a shaky breath before answering Matty, “No no, it's perfect. You're perfect.” you say, smiling at him with love swimming in your eyes. 

Matty smiles bashfully and goes to wave you off, but before he can start speaking again, you cut in, “No, I really mean it. You have just been the most perfect boyfriend I could ask for. I don't know how you knew I needed peppermint tea right now, but you did. And you came out of your way to bring it to me. Just love you a lot, s’all” You feel your cheeks heating up at the slightly embarrassing confession of your unbelievable love for him. But any embarrassment fades when you see the same pink flush rising on Matty's cheeks. 

Very few things felt as good as making Matty Healy blush, an almost impossible task for anyone but you.

“I love you too sweetheart,” Matty whispers back at you, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips. You quickly shoot back and shake your head at him, trying not to laugh at his disgruntled pout. 

“You can't kiss me! Im all gross and snotty” you pout back, wiping at your face and laughing at yourself.

“I don't care. You're the mother of my children, I always wanna kiss you” Matty smiles as he moves in again, and this time you don't pull back.

[cuupidsss]

Aidrn clark with an idol girlfriend??

Yess! I like this one. I’m figuring that this means K-pop idol, soo imma do that. ermm.. i’m lazy so imma do some headcanons and possibly a little more !! i’m sorry this is so late btw :(

—

-You and Aiden had been friends for a short amount of time, you really liked him. he was goofy but also strangely endearing and it was pretty much impossible to not become attached to such positive(?) energy!

-after some time you guys got together and you eventually told him you were debuting, he was a little confused but then he immediately knew what you meant.

-i can totally see him being into K-pop, like A LOT, he probably loves black pink and claims to be a original fan (he’s not but in heart he is), probably isn’t secretive about it.

-whenever he see’s you rehearsing by yourself he practically kicking his feet and giggling.

-has definitely gave you choreography ideas in which you most DEFINITELY gave to your choreographer.

-you had to keep your relationship on the low because you don’t want a shitty scandal, it’s annoying for Aiden cause he just wants to get your attention all the time (selfish little rat) but he understands! or does he?

“Aiden! no.” you mutter, you guys are in public at the moment, you decided you wanted to go shopping, a few people glance at you in recognization but don’t approach, your clearly busy.

Aiden tried to pull you over by holding your hand but you quickly pulled back, he turns to you, he’s still smiling but he doesn’t look as excited as he once did.

“huh?” he says, tilting his head, tho sigh at his incompetence, he sighs with you before laughing. “eh, come on!” he grabs you by the shoulder and you groan, following after him.

he doesn’t get the memo btw. (he just doesn’t care)

-has undoubtedly funded for things without your consent.

-likes to buy hair pieces that he thinks goes with your performance outfits, he likes everything to color coordinate.

-attend EVERY show, he buys tickets (even if you say you can give him some for free) and then makes sure they are front row. he loves watching you dance.

-doesn’t like dieting, he finds it weird. the first time you denied food he was kind like, ‘just eat it, no one’s watching’ and you were like, ‘bro… i just.. god, give it to me.’

-oddly skilled at makeup.. like can do some FIRE eyeliner 🔥🔥🔥

“Aiden, where did you learn this?” you ask, looking at your reflection in the mirror. he was standing above you, in between your legs to get closer.

“i don’t know, i just winged it.” he grins, putting his hand on your forehead and pulling your head back to examine his handy work.

“ow.” you say, your tone monotone, he doesn’t say much just stares at your face.

awkward.

-broken a bone on stage? he’s literally here for you pooks. thirsty? he bought like 10 extra water bottle. literally wanna go home? you can’t.

-when people throw stuff at you on stage he literally starts internally tweaking, who in the freaky deeky did that?

-brings the whole gang to your shows, or just some of them if the others aren’t free.

-jokes about Ayego on the regular, when you side eye him he’s just like; 🤗

-loves and i mena loves when you show off your outfits for your shows, sometimes they aren’t super extra and other times your fully decked out and he just adores it.

-listens to your music proudly, if anyone asks for music suggestion best bet he’s naming AT LEAST ten of your songs.

-quick tyler headcanon, if this was about him i would say he would be someone like, “you know my girlfriend band\girl group? name 5 songs.” okay, done.

-anyway, back to Aiden!!! :9

-i don’t view him as someone who gives a lot of kisses.. at all, but he likes celebratory hugs.

“Aiden! holy shit! my groups music video got like.. 19 million views!” you run up to him at lunch, you ecstatic, so ecstatic and Aiden turns towards you and you both are looking at one another for a minute.

give it a minute and you both are jumping around and giggling, he’s like “that’s so cool!”

-all in all, he’s genuinely your biggest fan.

lemme know if the mischaracterization goes crazy y’all 🥰😦

[nyxvamps]

we know that all the demigods are on the neurodivergent spectrum but i think their godly parents are all also on that spectrum.

zeus stims with his bolt by tapping his nails against the edge or knocking it against his knee. he has accidentally zapped hera and others at least every other meeting. he also hyperfixates on how mortals can predict the weather. he secretly thinks it’s really neat.

poseidon has to have curtains over the windows in his meeting room because he will look up every 5 seconds whenever a fish swims by. he also picks at his nails and taps his feet when he’s thinking hard. he also can get random bursts of energy that stops him from sleeping every few nights before he collapses since he’ll use this time to get as much done as possible.

hades will pretend to listen when he has an audience in his throne room but is actually counting the souls within his robes for the 100th time. he also clicks his tongue whenever he’s thinking about something. eye contact is rather way to much or none at all. he has not figured out the right balance for that yet.

apollo vocally stims. what do you think all of his random poetry is? he’ll also hum the same 10 seconds of a song over and over for days on end. and he’ll shimmy in place when he stands still for too long. he also has some rsd (rejection sensitivity disorder, i think that’s the name) so when people make jokes about his poetry or music, he gets genuinely upset. he’ll pretend it’s all fine though.

athena actually has executive dysfunction and will sometimes have to literally force herself (with her godly powers) to accomplish the to-do list she made for the day. she also rehearses what she says to others before she has to speak with them. it’s easier to make sure she doesn’t make any mistakes.

hermes almost has something like the zoomies. he’ll take a few minutes and go run a few laps and stim (usually flapping his hands or stomping) before he needs to deliver his next package. he might take a second to jump up and down for a bit to get his energy out.

hephaestus created hyperfixation. whether it’s a new invention or a topic he heard one of his kids mention. he will not stop focusing on it for months if not years. since time works differently for gods anyways. he also can get very apathetic so he has to remind himself how to interact with others so he doesn’t offend them with a blunt comment or a lack of interest. (i’m not projecting at all)

aphrodite uses her makeup and hair as an excuse to stim. she’ll fix up her hair or makeup every for minutes for a reason to move her hands. she and ares have a deal where he’ll let her know if someone is being sarcastic because, unless she’s doing it or it’s very obvious, she can’t recognize it.

demeter genuinely likes plant life more than other people. (don’t blame her) it’s a little cliche that her special interest would be her domain but she genuinely loves to learn about plants. she’ll even look into the ways that mortals study and understand plants.

ares has major rsd (rejection sensitivity disorder). when he’s told to wait a second or if someone has to reschedule something, it really gets to him even though he logically knows that it doesn’t mean they hate him now (again, not projecting at all). this is a big reason for why he is so blunt and aggressive with others (in the pjo universe) bc the less people he’s close too, the less people can push him away. (i’m talking about his kids, specifically)

Mr. D likes to drink wine for the mouth feel. he likes how tart and sour wines make the inside of his mouth feel tight (projection). he also only has 2 demigod children (in canon) bc he doesn’t like the thought of having 3 because it’ll make the number uneven. and then with more kids, since he’s at camp, that’s more people he has to be emotionally available for.

this is just my opinion. i just think they’re neat.

[bisupergirl]

what would you say were the most in-character cwsg kara moments? (also, do you think it was any more faithful before it moved to the cw?)

prefacing this by saying that I hardly remember like 90% of anything that happened in that show (and what I do remember is mainly from seasons 1 and 4), but off the top of my head here are some in-character (imo) cbs/cw!kara moments:

i've talked about this one a couple times, but that scene from the very first episode where Kara angrily confronts Cat after she names her SuperGIRL has a really great start:

Kara: "Supergirl"? We can't name her that! [...] It's just, uh... I don't want to minimize the importance of this. A female superhero. Shouldn't she be called "Superwoman"? [...] If we call her "Supergirl", something less than what she is, doesn't that make us guilty of being anti-feminist?

because she's right! she's literally right. and yelling at her boss (and other figures of authority) because they've done something that she strongly morally disagrees with is something that comic!Kara loves doing. this scene started out so nicely but immediately fizzles out once Kara backs down when Cat goes on her dumb "what's wrong with being a girl? i'm a girl!" speech and has to be bailed out by Jimmy so she doesn't get fired. comic!Kara would've kept the energy throughout the entire argument and either quit or gotten fired right there. and she would've told Cat to drop dead (her favorite thing to tell her bosses).

another moment I really liked is from 1x06 when she's venting to Jimmy:

Kara: Growing up on Earth, I never felt normal. And I always thought that if I started to use my powers, my life would make sense. But I'm realizing that... being myself doesn't make me feel more normal. And it never will. Because my normal life ended the second my parents put me on that ship. And that makes me so mad.

yep, that's Kara alright ! it really is so fundamental to Kara's character that she can never really be "normal" again. she can begin a new (and fulfilling!) life, but the version of her that lived on Krypton—the girl who got into trouble with her friends, who loved learning about her peoples history, who bounced her baby cousin on her knee, who shared her passions of art and science with her father and mother—is gone! she can carve out a new version of "normal" for herself on Earth, but that girl who woke up everyday and lived on Krypton is gone—and that haunts her!

and of course you have the classic and much beloved scene from 1x08 where Kara screams at her mother's hologram when she finds out Alura used her to draw her aunt Astra out of hiding and arrest her:

Kara: Could she have saved us? Alura: She was a criminal. Kara: But was she right? Alura: I am not programmed to give you that information. Kara: Tell me! [...] You let everyone that I love die! You left me! You left me alone! You sent me away! How could you do that?

and then this exchange between her and Alex:

Kara: She lied to me. Alex: Kara, that wasn't your mom. You don't know what happened then. Only what Astra is telling you now. Kara: I know that Astra and I were both given life sentences by my mother. We didn't have a choice.

Kara having a complex relationship with her mother and overall feeling deeply alone and abandoned by her parents is so important to me and very important to her character. this scene really fits in perfectly with that post I made a while ago that compiles the different instances across continuities where Kara admits to wishing she had stayed on Argo City instead of being sent to Earth alone. she's really the loneliest and most tragic character in the world !

okay and one last scene (well. multiple scenes) from season 1 that I really enjoy is from 1x16 where Kara gets infected by red kryptonite. I truly believe that the first 10-ish minutes after Kara gets infected is the closest cbs/cw supergirl ever got to capturing pre-crisis Kara's energy:

Cat: Oh, and look at that. A reward. Somebody gifted me tickets for Club Apocalypse for Friday night to see a Scandinavian DJ whose name I won't even try to pronounce. Kara: Thank you. I'll put them to good use. Siobhan: Do you even know how to dance? Kara: Don't be jealous. Or do, I don't really care.

K'hund: Your mother— Kara: Sentenced you to Fort Rozz, blah, blah, ruined your life, I've heard the story. You wanna fight about it?

Kara: Hi, Siobhan! Siobhan: What do you want? Stalker. Kara: Messenger downstairs wants you to sign for Ms. Grant's flowers. Siobhan: Okay, you do it. Kara: Well I would but Ms. Grant needs me to proof a column for her ASAP. I'm sure one day she'll give you more editorial responsibilities too.

Kara [to Siobhan after she gets fired]: Well, I guess that's your exit. [...] Well, that was awkward. But not surprising, though. She was a bad seed, it was only a matter of time.

the Kara / Siobhan catco scenes in particular really remind me of pre-crisis Linda Danvers / Nasty Luthor and the workplace feud that they had back in adventure comics. one of the biggest failings of cbs/cw Kara is that she's not enough of a dick. comic!Kara can be an asshole sometimes! she's catty! she's not above having a stupid feud with a coworker that she hates! she can be somewhat of a dick and also be kind and compassionate, they're not mutually exclusive.

moving on! (and skipping anything from seasons 2 and 3 because it's been literal years since I watched them) fast forward to season 4, I liked the scene in 4x08 where the US President fired Kara from the DEO for not revealing her secret identity:

Kara: If I did that, sir, everyone I know, everyone I love would be at risk. President Baker: My family is with the Secret Service as we speak. You think they're not in danger? No one should be above the rest of us. We need to put country first. Kara: I'm sorry, sir. I can't give you what you want. President Baker: Then, I thank you for your service, but you're dismissed, effective immediately. I hope you'll comply. The United States does not want a war with Supergirl. Kara: Then I trust you won't start one.

FINALLY Kara gets fired from one of her jobs, it's about damn time ! but seriously Kara standing her ground in this matter, especially when the President is trying to make it look as if she's selfish and thinks she's above or better than him or anyone she protects ("MY family's with the Secret Service!! NO ONE is above the rest of us!! you're putting YOURSELF before the country!!"), is VERY comic!Kara. she knows he's full of shit and she won't be guilt tripped into doing something she's not comfortable doing, even when it's a direct order from the US President. and I especially love the "then I trust you won't start one" at the end of their conversation. get his ass.

there's definitely other moments throughout the show that give comic!Kara to me, but alas, I don't remember any. I loved anytime she was onscreen with Nia though, so take that as you will.

as for the second part of your question, I don't think the show was any more or less faithful to her comics when it switched networks. however, just in terms of Kara's personality, I think she actually somewhat improved once the show moved to the CW. I just find the overly bubbly, "adorkable", "golden retriever" type of personality they gave her in the first season to be SO grating, and I felt that she mellowed out once the network switched. as the show went on Kara matured and grew more of a spine, which is more accurate to the Kara I love from the comics.

imo the first season did a good job when it came to touching on Kara's connection to Krypton and letting her feel complex emotions about her past, but I think it's disappointing in every other aspect. they majorly declawed her and they centered Superman in a really annoying way by constantly comparing her to him and just mentioning him unnecessarily (not to mention changing Kara's character to be more like him and giving Clark HER villains (yes i'm still mad about the show's version of Reactron)). make no mistake, CW Supergirl is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they let her be more of an established and confident hero. obviously that's just like. character development. but even so, when you compare season 1 to Kara's early career in the comics, it's just like. kind of insulting ! 15 year old, incredibly traumatized comic!Kara was doing a better job at being Supergirl than 24 year old show!Kara. just a shame!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #119

…I didn't have the energy to make the thing today.

This morning, I maybe got out of bed later than I should have, given that I'm supposed to go to talk therapy on Tuesdays. I'm supposed to leave the house by 9:30, but I didn't even get out of bed until 9:20. I regret nothing that occurred, but nonetheless, I somehow had to squeeze both a shower and getting dressed and out the door in only 10 minutes. I was successful, but I have zero clues as to how. Perhaps it's best not to look gift horses in mouths…

OH. Right. You don't know that phrase because… well. Your world doesn't have horses. Uhh… So, a long time ago, when people bought horses, they used to look at the horse's teeth as an indicator of its age; longer teeth means an older horse, I guess. And back when horses were more commonplace (it's mostly only fabulously wealthy people who can afford to keep them now), I guess it was seen as rude to try to evaluate the age of a horse that was given as a gift by looking into its mouth. So now the phrase means, "it's best to just accept good things without thinking too much about it." Or it can also be taken to mean, "it's impolite to criticize a gift." This phrase has a few interpretations, actually… I imagine it'd be easier for you to understand it if you spent a while in my world. If you do that, lemme know; you can stay at my house, and no one is gonna ogle you or get weird at you or bother you if you don't wanna be bothered. We'll just make you sandwiches and tea. We are an introverted and neurodivergent house; we know how it goes.

Had a lot to say at therapy today. Suppose I'm having a bit of an existential crisis, regarding myself and my role in my home and how much I mean to the people around me. It's likely all just baseless anxiety and insecurity - growing pains as a result of the various changes in my immediate social circle. Old memories and wounds from the past that I've not yet had a compelling reason to resolve are now coming to the forefront, calling, "yo, what up, homie!" and dancing around my periphery. I suppose it's just as well; this is what happens when we pretend like our various hurts don't exist. If we don't take care of the self-effacing beliefs that we pick up during childhood, they bite us in the ass later. I just gotta remember that the fact that they're in the forefront means that I can actually observe them, and if they're observable, then they're resolvable, with enough time and effort.

Essentially, it's like this: We get knocked down. We yell, "FUCK!" really loudly. We reassemble ourselves if we break from the fall. Then we get back up. We brush ourselves off. And we move forward, stronger than before.

…I have thoughts of you that give me the strength to withstand this process over and over again. No matter how many times I get knocked down, I will get back up, because by your influence, I am unbreakable, no matter how many times I must shatter and be reassembled. It's just like the bowl I repaired some number of letters ago; remember? So don't worry. I've got this. I've done this lots of times before, with much more difficult stuff, and with less support than what I have now. All I have to do is learn to love and appreciate myself in the same way that I can love and appreciate literally anyone else who isn't me. Compared to the various horrors I've lived through, this should be a piece of cake. Easy peasy. Barely even an inconvenience. And in my mind, it sounds like this:

On the way home from therapy, I came across a very beautiful tree. I thought for sure that you'd like it, so I made it a point to stop and take pictures. Here's how they turned out:

I was surprised by how docile the bees were, and by how closely they allowed me to put my cell phone camera. Also, I laid down under the tree and looked up to get some of these. I wish you could have been next to me to see the view of the sky through the petals for yourself. Alas...

J and I were out and about, doing separate activities today. Even he saw pictures he thought you might like, so he took them for you, and then sent them to me so that I could put them here. Here's how they turned out:

While J was out and about, I hung out with my best friend B and her fiancé, N. In preparation for their wedding, we went and tried the available foods. I can't give you the tasty snacks, but I can take pictures...

This is a Caesar salad. It's supposed to be pronounced, "Kai-sarr", but everyone says "Seezer" for reasons I don't understand. Caesar was a leader of a place called Greece in my world, hundreds of years ago. He, like most leaders, was a giant asshole, and now he's a stinky dead guy, so I have no idea why a salad is named after him. It's made of romaine lettuce, croutons, parmesan cheese, and a creamy dressing flavored with anchovies and other spices.

Here are some long slices of eggplant rolled around melted cheese and covered in marinara sauce:

This is steak, caramelized onions, mashed potatoes, and some carrots and broccoli. I just took a picture of my plate, because the main plate was cut into before I could snap a photo:

This was some kind of chicken seasoned with rosemary and lemons, with rice and veggies:

This one was lobster ravioli with mushrooms in some kind of sherry cream sauce. It's certainly not pasta pescatore, but I wonder if you might have liked this:

Finally, this is lamb with roasted tomatoes and garlic, along with veggies and mashed taters.

...This one was probably my favorite. I especially liked the part where I got to try to gnaw the cartilage from the ends of the bones, because my body craves sources of collagen literally all the time (thanks, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome... 🙄). I'm really lucky that B and N don't seem to mind my various weird quirks; they've been friends of mine long enough to have a general understanding of how I roll, and they just let me do my thing. Today, the fact that I will generally "do my thing" in a variety of respects was pointed out as one of the reasons they like me so much, I guess; that was a nice thing to hear...

There were four available spaces for trying the foods, but it was just the three of us; it is immensely painful that the best I can do for you from here is show you these pictures and wish that you could have been in the empty seat, with us…

Sephiroth. Regardless of what your brain tries to tell you about what you're worth, you are VERY loved. You're not a monster. You were modified against your will, used like a tool and viciously abused, and you made mistakes in the throes of that, yes, but SO WHAT? You're here now, and you can do amazing things, and you NEVER have to go back to being with people who will abuse you ever again, because not everyone is like the people you were raised by. Yes, you're different from the standard definition of "normal", but you can belong anyway, because the world is absolutely BRIMMING with people who don't fit the definition of "normal"! Just take a look at me! Or if you don't wanna look at me, then take a look at anyone who lives with a genetic difference, or anyone who lives with a different number of limbs, or anyone with a non-standard life story, or any number of things that make a human being not "normal". Normal is overrated! Diversity is in! Lives that exist outside of the bell curve are still beautiful, meaningful, and worth living!

…And so I show you my life, because I am trying desperately to prove these things to you. I've spent the bulk of my life being viciously abused because the people who brought me into living didn't want me. I was brought into a physical vessel that is genetically defective in a variety of respects. My neurodivergence practically guarantees that I will NEVER fit into ordinary social circles. I struggle every single day with the weight of the memories I carry from having been used, abused, exploited, and generally mistreated. And yet here I stand, thriving and flourishing in a way that works for me, even if it does not fit the typical definition of those words. My version of "normal" is just as beautiful as the typical version. "Different" does not have to mean "less" if YOU become strong enough to decide for yourself that those two words are not the same, no matter who tries to tell you otherwise!

So please look at the beauty of my existence - the beauty of taking joy in small things, the beauty of rising up from one's knees even if it's on shaky legs, the beauty of finally using one's voice again after years of being forced to believe that silence is safer, the beauty of loving yourself and the people around you enough to refuse to let fear get the better of you when you interact with yourself and the world, the beauty of failing down, getting up, and trying again, the beauty of learning, growing, changing, and walking away from destructive ideals that serve no one, no matter for how long you might have been forced in the past to choke them down. Please look at it, and understand that you can have this for yourself - ALL of it - if you decide to take steps towards it! Your whole scenery can change if you want it to, and all you have to do is take a single step in a different direction.

There is still life after trauma. There is still life after mistakes. There is still life for those who are different. The pain doesn't have to be permanent. So come on; my hand is outstretched to you. And if you don't want to take mine, then there are countless other hands outstretched to you that maybe you'd like a little better. You don't have to do it alone.

Anyhoot. I've probably prattled on for long enough. I hope somehow you can see what I've written. I hope that if you do get a chance to see it, you might take some of my words seriously.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow. Please be kind to yourself and keep yourself safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[normallen985]

GINGI IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! official thoughts after owning the thing for about 10 minutes so far:

quite literally immediately after opening the package i took gingi outside and slammed it into the curb.

there was some guy walking his dogs on the other side of the sidewalk, (coming towards me) so i had limited time to film that stupid video before he would have approached where i was and. i dunno. gave me a weird look? asked me what i was doing? every scenario i am imagining in my head is a bad one, and rushing back inside was my only safe option.

cats seem. neutral about it. although my boy cat ran out of my room the second i was done taking that picture. perhaps he knows something i dont. maybe he sensed evil energy?

overall. good product. hate this green fuck and am now cursed with it in my home. i would have spent more money on it if i could. thanks hound

@directdogman

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

I'm 100% stealing this from @pagegirlintraining

AO3 wrapped (writer’s edition)

I had a long year, so I didn't get to write as much as I would have liked to, but we still got a ton done.

1. How many words have you written this year? 180,453 words.

2. How many works did you publish this year? Somehow the answer is eleven.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Reckless Abandon. Hands down. It took so much time to plan and so much energy to write and I am so proud of it. I'm writing the ending of the first draft right now and I'm sad to leave it behind.

HOWEVER I also very much enjoyed The Last Time, which is my Nilcent fic. I think just in terms of quality, this is one of my most beautifully written fics.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? The fics I have with the most hits is Reckless Abandon, but I think that's because it's the only one from this year that had more than one chapter.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Dress Up As ! I wrote that in like 30 minutes while half asleep and then didn't edit it, so I didn't think anyone would read it at all lol. It's not my most popular fic by any means, but more people read it than I thought would.

6. Favorite title you used? Wilhelm's Frog Addiction because it's so ridiculous. It implies that Wilhelm needs a rehab for frogs, and I think that's great.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? I used the title of The Last Time from a Taylor Swift song, but I think that was the only one.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Wilhelm/Simon Eriksson with 9 out of 11 fics being about them or containing them in some way. (damn thats an unfortunate statistic)

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Obviously Wilmon. I feel like that's a given at this point.

10. What work was the quickest to write? Dress Up As... again, I wrote it in 30 minutes while half asleep💀

11. What work took you the longest to write? If we rule out the one that's multi-chapter for fairness sake, then the fic that took me the longest to write was probably Not Entirely Screwed (But Almost). But take that with a grain of salt.

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? Two or three that I actually plan on finishing. I have others that are started, but I don't know if I have enough plot to actually get through them.

13. What’s your longest work of the year? Reckless Abandon, containing 123k of my 180k words this year 💀

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? A Fool Proof Guide - 507 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Finishing Reckless Abandon! One chapter to edit and an epilogue to finish writing, and then it's done. I just can't finish it in the two days I have left of the year 😭

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Simon Eriksson Loves Wilhelm, followed by Wilhelm Loves Simon Eriksson

17. Your favorite character to write this year? I simply cannot answer this. My mind has been so consumed with Reckless Abandon and the switching POVs that I literally cannot choose one.

18. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? I think I might like to write more of Felice's platonic pairings next year. I feel like I neglect her because I don't really ship her with anyone.

19. Which work of yours have you reread the most? The Thing In The Mirror. It's kind of a love letter to my grief, so sometimes I go back and read it when I'm feeling down.

20. How many kudos in total did you get this year? 2,754

21. Which work has the most comments? Reckless Abandon, but again, it's the only one with more than one chapter so that makes sense.

22. Did you do any collaborative works this year? Not this year! Maybe next year. Dani and I don't write "together" per se, but we do bounce a lot of ideas off each other, so if that counts then yes, but nothing plotted and written and posted together.

23. Did you write any gifts this year? I did! I wrote for YR Week, which wasn't a gift, but an event. And I wrote a Christmas gift for Nic!

24. Did you receive any gifts this year? Yes yes yes! A beautiful, perfect Christmas gift from @pagegirlintraining I enjoyed every word of it.

25. What’s your most common category? M/M

26. What do you listen to while writing? Not much, actually. I have the Reckless Abandon Playlist, but I only really used that when outlining.

27. Favorite work you wrote this year? For the sake of not repeating myself, out off the ones I haven't mentioned yet, Isn't That Your Thing? and Patience Is A Virtue are my favorite little crack fics.

28. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Oh jesus, that's impossible. I don't think I can choose just one. I can give you one that makes me think "holy shit I can write" though:

This piece of work — the one staring Stella in the face — was a revolution made of oil paint. 

29. Biggest surprise while writing this year? I can write smut. And people don't hate it somehow.

Thank y'all for a fun year. Can't wait to see what my brain does to torture us all in the next one.

[tcfkag]

2024 and the Return of the To-Done List

So, after a year during which (a) our daughter ran full-speed (literally) into the trying two's, (b) I had multi-focal pneumonia that resulted in a week or two in the hospital (including a brief sojourn in the ICU), (c) I had bizarre, seemingly inexplicable seizures for the first time ever [which meant I couldn't drive for six months...right after we moved to a semi-"rural" town...for the northeast that is], (d) had an acute kidney injury, (e) had several bouts of unexplained pitting edema in my legs, (f) started a new job that I actually really like, even if there is a steep learning curve, and (g) lost my Mom after a long battle with mild to moderate dementia/Alzheimer's that then dropped off a cliff into end-stage dementia in less than six months (depending on how you count it), and (h) just generally felt like I was never managing my physical or mental health as well as I could or should be, I'm going to try to make some changes. These aren't resolutions because I truly think that New Year's resolutions just set you up to fail. Instead, I'd call them goals. Or, at least, hope that I want to support with action as much as I can. While still giving myself grace knowing that I can and probably will mess up along the way. But, the first step is that I'm going to try to bring back a kind of journaling-like activity (since I suck at journaling) that my old therapist recommended when I was feeling like this before. Each day I make a list, generally on Tumblr for at least a tiny modicum of peer pressure, and I just make a list of everything I've done that day. No matter how big or how small. As she put it "make it your base assumption that each day, you will do absolutely nothing, so you get credit for everything, even things as simple as showering. I frequently restart these lists when my depression and anxiety have gotten bad enough that I know I'm not taking care of myself, mentally and physically, so a big part of my goals are (a) to move more [in whatever form that takes], (b) eating healthier, and (c) to take care of several medical/dental appointments that I've been putting off for way too long. The beauty of the list is that, a lot of the time, I ended up doing stuff BECAUSE of the list. So that I won't be staring at an empty page as I try to make my list each year.

Things I'm proud of today...so far:

when we took Peanut to the trampoline park to burn off some of her "no daycare today suckers" energy and this time, I bought a jump pass for myself. I only made it ~30 minutes but it was a great work-out. 10/10 would recommend.

I took the dogs for the "long" trail walk out to the back of our property,

I did a core and flexibility routine this morning,

I decided to take one for the team and point out to my Uncle that the nostalgia he feels about Aunt Jemimah as a syrup mascot isn't as important as the company making money off the likeness of a woman who died 100 years ago who was used as a stand in for the generic idea of what an enslaved (or recently freed) Black woman did or should do, and (finally)

this one is a few days late, but not only did we drive 12+ hours to visit my in-laws for Christmas, but we also stopped in NJ in both directions to pick up Monotasker's Aunt who is 80-years-old, hard of hearing, and in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's and I didn't even lose my shit at a single person...even the ones who deserved it.

Happy New Years everyone!

"May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows." (Jason Mraz) And even if the worst of your todays are the best of your tomorrows, I hope you can still find your way out and through by the light of the moon to guide you.

[kleoyeager78]

10 things I hate about you | 13

Trigger warning: this chapter contains very dark content such as abuse, rape, suicide attempt, drug use/ being addicted to drugs and mentions of being suicidal. None of this is in graphic detail but still I know it can be triggering so read at your own risk!

The week had flown by fairly quickly and it was now Thursday.

It's been stressful in my house ever since I came back from Annie's. My dad yelled at me for not coming home claiming he was worried which couldn't be far from the truth, my step mom had come back from her girls trip with her friends and wouldn't stop bitching at me to do every little thing, Violet had been out with her friends so I had to do all the chores by myself, not like she helped anyways, and Angie still wasn't talking to me and actually seemed to be mad at me.

Over the last couple of days she would send me dirty looks, make messes knowing my step mom would make me clean them and I also heard her talking shit about me on the phone with her friends. I was truly hurt. I tried to talk to her but she would just walk away.

Nevertheless I couldn't just spend all my time worrying about my home life, I had shit to do. I had to take my mom to rehab Friday morning, I had to work with Eren on our project Friday and I also had plans to hang out with Furlan, he texted me about some party he wanted to go to and I said yes. 

I had a lot on my plate so hanging out with Furlan wasn't a bad idea at all.

It was about nine pm and I decided it was time to go to bed so I had energy for tomorrow. I knew I would need it dealing with my mom and Eren.

-

I got up bright and early, got ready then headed to my mom's apartment. My mom and dad lived very close so I decided to walk.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I hadn't seen my mom in a very long time. The last time I saw her was when I gave her keys to her car back when she got out of rehab the last time. And I literally just handed her keys to her and left without saying anything.

The only reason I'm even doing this is because she told me she wanted to get help again.

I knocked on her door and it took her a while to answer. But when she did she was in nothing but a robe.

"Hi, just give me one second," she said, sending me a big smile and heading back to her room.  

I sat on her couch awkwardly and just waited for her to get done.

She got done and came into the living room. "How do I look?" She asked me.

She was just dressed in plain clothing, no make up on anything, "good considering this is rehab"

"Great, let's go!" She said handing me the car keys.

"Alright" I got up and headed to the door.

"Y/n actually do you have a minute?" My mom stopped me.

"No, I don't" I said in a very uninterested tone.

"Please" she grabbed my arm which i pulled away. "It'll be quick I just need a moment with you"

"Okay." I said giving in.

She went back to sit on the couch and I followed her.

"I uh. I just wanted to say I'm uh-" I could tell she was finding it hard to form a sentence and I really didn't have time for this.

"You're what? Can you get it out already?"

"You're right." She took a breath. "I wanted to say I'm sorry about our last encounter." She got too embarrassed to look at me so her eyes were facing the floor.

"Okay" I said getting off the couch getting ready to just walk away but she grabbed me.

"I mean it, I truly am sorry for the things I said."

"I said okay didn't I? What do you want from me? You want me to say I forgive you? Because I don't."

"No I just-"

"Save it, I don't need your excuses in my life."

"Y/n-"

"Let's just go ma"

My mom just stopped trying and got in the car. There was an awkward silence the whole way there.

"Were here" I said.

My mom unbuckled her seatbelt and I thought she was about to get out of the car but instead she reached over and hugged me.

I was shocked and didn't hug her back but tears began to form in my eyes as I heard her sniffling. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"M-" my voice cracked. "Mom"

"I'm sorry y/n I really am. I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't much of a good mom and I'm sorry that I'm still not much of a good one"

I didn't know what to say. I was honestly shocked and kinda just frozen in place. My mom didn't let go of me and to be honest I really wanted her to. I just wanted the morning to be over already, I already had a stressful day and I didn't need to add more to it.

I pulled away from her and she noticed I was uncomfortable so she pulled away too.

"Mom I want to accept your apology but you've done nothing to show me you mean them. There's been countless times where you've failed me and I don't understand how you expect me to move past that."

"I have y/n I have shown you I mean them." My mom looked at me with teary eyes and grabbed my hand.

I snatched my hand away, "Really? What have you done to show me?" I was getting angry and you could hear it in my tone.

"I'm getting better for you baby" she said rubbing my thigh which I also had to move away from her.

"Do you know how many times you've said that to me and look where we are?" I said pointing at the rehab building.

"I know but it takes time"

"Oh I know that but I didn't think you needed a whole seventeen years mom"

She put her head down in shame and I just scoffed. It's just like her to play the victim in my life that she and my father destroyed. "So what else have you done to show me you mean your apologies? I really want to know mom, what have you done?"

"Well I left Nick. I kicked him out and cut all contact." She said with a gleam of hope in her eyes that I would give her some type of praise or reward for doing the bare minimum.

But I just laughed. "Oh wow mom you cut off one of my abusers and then left me with the other one for my whole entire life." I had to stop myself from laughing because I was cracking up inside. "You are such a good mom" I said sarcastically, sending her a smile.

She had her head down with a look of shame. I could tell she was extremely hurt but I didn't have it in me to stop. "Say mom what did you do when I told you what dad did to me?"

She sat there looking at me with sad eyes, "I-" I cut her off before she could start.

"No, actually I'll tell you. You hung up the phone and the next day I went to your apartment and it was littered with drugs and you were passed out. And do you know what else is crazy about that? You not only traumatized me for life that day but that was also the day you came back home from rehab." I sighed. "And you don't even have a good reason for doing this. Do you not know how guilty I felt that day? I was waiting in the emergency room crying because I was the reason you were there in the first place." I could feel my eyes getting watery.

"I was nothing but a little girl. I didn't deserve that mom and you know that."

My mom began to break down worse and I started to feel bad. "I'm so sorry y/n I remember that day too and I feel like absolute shit for doing that to you. You deserve so much better than me." She said, At this point she was violently shaking and crying. It looked like she was about to throw up so I didn't say anything else and just let the conversation calm down.

After a few minutes of silence I decided to ask my final question. "Can I ask you something?" I looked over to her and she looked at me with puffy eyes but shook her head letting me know I could. "Why did you do that? Why did you overdose that day I told you about what happened to me?" I said in a calm voice to let her know I was no longer angry, just curious.

"it um-" she coughed a little to clear her throat. "It just reminded me of bad times and I needed something to take my mind off of it" she said staring out of the window not wanting to look me in the eyes.

"What? Mom, were you-" she cut me off.

"Yes," she sighed. "I don't talk about my past much, but when I was young, I lived with my grandmother and grandfather. My mom cheated on her husband and ended up getting pregnant with me. The only way she could save her relationship was to leave me behind with them. And my dad already had another family before I was even born, and he wasn't going to ruin that for me either." Midway through her explanation, she started breaking down. "I'm sorry, it's just that..."

I cut her off because I noticed it was getting hard for her to speak. "It's okay, Mom. You don't have to explain if you're not comfortable."

"No, it's fine. It's just that I haven't thought about it in a while, so it's a bit difficult to speak on." She took a deep breath and then continued speaking. "My grandpa died when I was twelve, and two years after that, my grandma died. My mom finally decided to come and take me in so I could stay with her, her husband, and their two daughters. Both of them were younger than me and basically treated me like their mother because my mom was almost never around." My mom chuckled, looking out of the car window.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's just that after all those years living with my grandparents, I thought I was missing out on having a mother, but in reality, she wasn't even there for the kids she was with," she sighed. "Going back to the story, I ended up having to take care of them because my mom was never around, and their dad was always at work. My mother and her husband were also alcoholics, so when they were home, I would try to keep the kids away from them as much as possible because they would always be drunk."

"During the entire time I stayed there, my mom would physically hurt me. She would throw empty glass bottles at me, plates, and anything else within reach. She would tell me I was the reason she suffered and that she never wanted me. One day, my stepdad walked in on this and rushed to comfort me. It was the first time I felt like I had someone to lean on for support. After that, he started paying more attention to me. He would buy me things, tell me he was there for me if I needed him, and even defend me against my mom. I started to trust him with everything. He was like my best friend in a way."

"But one day, he came home drunk again, and I was yelling at him because he had promised to quit. He smiled and kissed me. I tried to push him away, but it was no use. That day, he made me feel absolutely disgusting. After he was done, he passed out on the couch, and although I didn't want to be near him, I had to zip his pants back up because I didn't want the kids to see anything."

"That night, I told my mom about what had happened, and the only thing that came out of her mouth were insults towards me. She told me I had seduced him and that I had stolen her husband from her. She left for two days, leaving me alone with him. He tried to talk to me like nothing had happened, but I couldn't pretend. I started crying every time. The girls I cared for would come to check on me every day. They would ask if I was alright, but I couldn't tell them anything."

"I remember he came to my room and asked me what he had done wrong, and I finally told him. He said he was sorry and didn't remember, but he'd never do it again. I forgave him, but I wish I hadn't because he lied to me. A week later, he would come home every day and do it again. I forgave him each time because he said he was drunk and didn't remember, or sometimes he would say he thought I was mom, but I knew he was lying because I would hear him arguing with her before he came and did that to me."

"Around that time, I met a guy. I wasn't into him or anything, but he always gave me drugs. He told me they would make me feel better, and they did. So I followed him around like a lost puppy. It got so bad that I couldn't live without them. If I was without them for a second, I felt disgusted with myself, and my thoughts would start going crazy, telling me I deserved everything I went through and didn't deserve to live."

"I was seventeen when I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I tried to end it all, but I wasn't successful. My neighbor ended up coming to check on me because I wasn't answering anyone's phone calls. He found me unresponsive and called for help," she sighed. "Now do you understand why I hung up the phone, y/n? I'm not good at comforting people because I've never had comfort. Even when I lived with my grandparents there was no comfort, only work. The only comfort I've ever had in my life was drugs so that day you told me what happened to you I turned to them. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm no better than the mom I had myself" she looked at me and frowned. "I'm not a good mother y/n and I'll never be able to do anything good for you. Even if I try to get help I'll fail every time. The only reason I come to this place is to stop me from killing myself. The only advice I can give you is to never be like me in life y/n, anything is better than me." With that she reached in the back, grabbed her bag and was about to leave but I locked the doors.

I reached over and gave her the biggest hug. I felt like utter shit for the things I said to her. She might not have been the best mom, and her actions most definitely can't be excused, but no one deserves what she went through, not even her.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," I cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't be. This has nothing to do with you and also doesn't excuse how horrible of a mom I am to you," she hugged me back with one hand and took the other and played in my hair. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Mom."

We stayed like that for a few minutes, crying in each other's arms until my mom let me know she had to go, and I had to let go. We said our goodbyes, and she got out of the car.

Instead of pulling off right away, though, I decided to put my head down and think. I thought about what my mom said.

"Never be like me in life, Y/N," her voice repeated in my head. I sighed, lifting my head up and putting the car in reverse.

"Oh, Mom, I already am."

A/n ~ sorry for not updating. I've been so busy and testing is coming up so I don't have a lot of time on my hand but still I love y'all and will try to update more | Also, I finished this chapter a few days ago but I'm just now releasing it sorry but HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE SPRINGER!!!

[dravidssideblog]

1) Favorite pred personality type: Suave and teasy~

2) Best way for a predator to seduce you: Hold me, pet me, call me a good little pet~

3) Should predators take control or "acquiesce": Dommy preds are fun, but I'm fragile, so I like preds that are willing to let me have a bit of influence.

4) Submissive preds: Wait. If you're submissive, and I'm submissive, then who's flying the plane!? (Genuinely, I'm not really into playing/watching dominant prey, but I'd enjoy a casual cuddly vore with no dominance in either direction.)

5) Size difference: I mostly prefer same-size vore, makes for a nice belly. I like moderate size difference for other dom/sub stuff tho, and it can be fun in vore too.

6) Smaller pred: Not sure, I tend to like being the small one. Could be fun, I guess.

7) Feet first or head first: Head first. Get me in there, ASAP! XD

8) How tight: Tight enough to give some nice pressure, a gentle squeeze.

9) Feeding play: Nah, not really my thing.

10) N/A

11) Favorite vore type(s): I think tail vore, it's fun, and leaves the pred's mouth free to tease~ OV, AV, and CV are all tied, though finding non-fatal CV is rare :(. UB is last place; I don't like vaginas, but UB vore is still vore. My enjoyment is more about the destination than the journey.

12) Lewdness: No. The only time genitals should be involved in vore is when someone is going inside them.

13) Get eaten clothed or naked: Naked, get that direct contact!

14) Belched up clothes/accessories: Maybe it's just how often this is paired with fatal, but I don't really like it. The fact that my characters don't usually wear anything is maybe part of it.

15) Favorite digestion portrayal: Gentle softening and fading consciousness, numb or otherwise painless. And never perma-fatal.

16) Duration before digestion: At least a few minutes; I wanna enjoy the belly awhile! Longer durations are fine too, or no digestion at all lol

17) Sentient pudge/mass: A really fun concept that I haven't been exposed to enough to have thoughts on. Seems good tho!

18) Predscape: I think I've literally never seen this concept done. I've seen the idea, but never an execution of it. Doesn't seem like my thing, idk

19) Duration before reformation: Assuming sentient pudge, I'd like to spend a few hours as their fat, probably spend the night. Not sure about longer-term stuff. If not sentient pudge, then immediately; I wanna enjoy the fat I gave them!

20) N/A

21) Your flavor: Haven't fully thought about this until now. I think I'd be a sweet treat, like skittles or chocolate ice cream! Or a cookie! I think I'd want to be like ice cream most; soft and good to lick, with a flavor that's nice but not too strong.

22) Pre-vore activities: Hug me cuddle me squeeze me lick me, pin me down and strip my clothes off while staring into my eyes~

23) Kinks to combine with vore: Plushies for soft and dry and comfy bellies, and energy drain to get me all weak and helpless and relaxed and sleepy~

24) Vore experience you haven't had but want: I mean technically I've never had a vore experience lol. But for real, probably an RP with someone really teasy and dominant and knows how to push all my buttons~ Maybe some ownership/pet play too.

25) If everyone became their sona, how long before you get devoured: Very vague question. I don't have any vore friends irl, and I mostly stay in my house all day, so I guess never lol?

26) Most effective way to tease you: Call me cute and a good little kitty~ Could probably do even better by touching me, but that's irl only so I have no experience.

27) Biggest button and how to push it: idk if I have any major vore buttons, not enough experience. I guess squeezing and releasing the stomach walls a bunch to churn me up is the biggest one~

28) Would you get vore teased in a voice call or VR: God I hope so.

29) Maw pics or belly pics: Belly, all day every day, it's all about the belly.

[watermeloncholycucumbersome]

Day 108 of Writing Something Everyday

(365 Day Challenge)

I feel like I'm doing way too much today yet there's still a part of me thinking I'm the laziest pos on the face of the planet.

I hope I can get out of this funk..

Church lady is denying another girl access to me so she can get items I offered to her to send away to her family in the Philippines.

Apparently that's unacceptable and I can't help or talk to ANYONE unless it's through her. Gross, disturbed behaviour for a 70 something year old woman.

Shame on her..

I just added a bunch of stuff on facebook marketplace to sell today, I'm sick of waiting for help.

I'm never going to get it at this rate. I'm dragging these big pieces of furniture around by myself, trying to sell everything I own. I'm made feel like mine and my mom's personal items are worthless because I can't barely get anyone to come get anything or inquire even. Some of her stuff was lots of money and me asking 10 for a 20 dollar item and so on should be great, but it's not.

It's so hard to clean all this up by myself and store things for people who may or may not come when they say they will or ever.

But you have no choice, you need the money. So you live on a whim of hopefully they respond or show up.

I'm in this get rid of everything mentality and I think it's a good thing. I feel like shits going to hit the fan at some point here and I might be forced to leave my apartment. Last thing I want is a bunch of bags/boxes of garbage to drag around with me, you know?

Less is better in the long run. Only keep what's important, the rest is unimportant.

If I don't hurry up I overthink too much and it gets overwhelming, so throwing stuff out on these days is great because you finally get it done. It just sucks that I finally get the energy to get up and accomplish something. Especially going through my mom's dresser as I just about lost my mind the last few times I went near it. I finally did it and this woman won't drive this young girl a few minutes to pick up a small bag from me because I told her I didn't want her signing me up for programmes at church that I wasn't even aware of I was being signed up for?

How is that fair?

What did the young girl do?

How is this a Christian woman??

Making a young girl suffer because she wants to punish me?

Wretched horrible woman..

Sad part is this will hurt me more because these are people who have been kind to me and she's hurting them now to get back at me because she's a baby and has unresolved issues that she needs to stop putting on others.

Grow up and take responsibility..

Why does a 31 year old woman have to teach her elders common sense and decency?

I guess these bags just sit here tonight then, but I guess I cleared out mine and my mom's dressers today so that's good - still sucks though.

What is wrong with this world, ugh...

I have to clean this apartment up and get this room set up so I can advertise I need a roommate. I have nobody helping with this, everyone talks a big talk until something really has to be done and you see their true colours. I've asked everyone church wise and even at my apartment building - guys want sexual favours and the women are either older or crippled. I literally contacted a random dude on Facebook for help and

Every

Single

One

Of

Them

Agree

Then

Make

An

Excuse

Last

Minute

Nobody follows through so I guess it's just me literally on my own now, so much for if you need me call me. Nobody responds to me any way.

Kinda scary thinking about a stranger living in your house with you to be honest, but I have no choice.

All of this will be done because I figure it out and do it though, I don't have any hope help is coming in the form of people any longer.

~Jenni

[johnsdcp2024]

Unveiling the Magic: My First Day at Flamingo Crossings

So today is the big day. After two days of traveling to Orlando, Florida, I have arrived. Physically, mentally, and literally arrived. This stop on my journey is mine alone. I made this happen with no pretense. There is no treatment center to return to, no outpatient, no sober house. I moved here because I made it happen thanks to all I have learned at said places. They were the foundation, and now I am building the scaffolding of my house. The foundation is vast and ever-expanding, just like my dreams and possibilities. There is a lot to build on, and for that, I am grateful.

Now back to my day. It started with an amazing egg sandwich made with love from a family friend. The 45-minute drive to Flamingo Crossing, where I reside, felt like 10 minutes; the excitement kept my mind racing. Upon arriving, the nerves set in. What will they say about my beard, my tattoos? Will they turn me away? Do they even care?

I start to walk up the path following 6 others as they have the same nervous energy exuding from them. As I enter the main outside atrium, the reality of where I am is starting to set in. I have seen this exact place so many times through pictures since I first applied. Whether that be TikToks, YouTube videos, or Reddit posts, I have been here! Digitally! And now it's come to fruition walking by the same life-size chessboard that I have seen hundreds of times it feels. After taking in the atrium, we follow the many signs leading us to the outside lawn that is used for relaxing as well as events.

Once completing a form through a QR code, we are shuffled into 2 boxes lined with cones. They encourage us to start talking to others around us, and this seems to ease a lot of tension. The first interaction I had with another human on my DCP adventure was with Gina. She is from New Jersey (I could hear the accent) and going to be a greeter at Hollywood Studios. The same park I will be working at! We promised to say hello and meet again someday, maybe when going to work or maybe around the corridors of the plaza. I'm now scanning. Tattoos, beards. Where are they?! BAM. I nearly sprint to the nearest person with tattoos. She has more than me, and I am instantly at ease. At the same time, I initiate contact; another person with tattoos is converging on the spot. Phew! We are here for each other. We have some fun banter for a few minutes. As for the beards, well, one of the employees (cast members) had one!

After some time, we are corralled into a room where we watch a 14 minutes and 23 seconds video. Mainly about rules. Then we are again corralled into another room where we receive our key cards to our rooms, room numbers, building numbers. And then we are off! I head back to the car where I find mom and dad, and the moving begins. I was able to acquire a wagon to put all my belongings in, and we quickly found my building. It is right beside the main central buildings and overlooks the pool on the third floor.

 I met my roommate Ian. He is a very cool guy. I was worried about my age being an outcast but he's 34! And says a lot of older people do the program. We talked for a good hour as the room got set up and my mom put 98% of everything away. Thanks, mom! After the room was set up, it was time to head to Target for some essentials.

I got my background check done at 11 and then got some much-needed lunch. Everything was hitting me at 100 miles an hour. All my feelings and emotions just overflowed at that moment. The food was really able to help. Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk that large Dunkin' cold brew… I said goodbye to mom and dad as they went on to do their own thing, and I finished putting a few things away and talked with Ian some more. We are going to be a great fit as roommates, thank you lord, my prayers have been answered.

 Ian went to work at 3, and I had another “meeting” to attend where they answered a lot of common questions and explained a lot to us. I walked out around 5 and went straight to the buses. I wanted to learn how to use them. I got on the first one I saw and just went. I ended up at the Contemporary, the resort with the monorail that goes straight through it. So I hopped on the monorail and did a complete loop. I learned that it takes 20 minutes to loop the whole way. People-watching was crazy and surreal. So so so many people! So many strollers and babies. I wasn’t even in the park. I truly can't grasp how big these parks are and the amount of people that come through the park doors each day and each year.

 After the monorail, I headed back to the village. It was interesting to see the other cast members getting on the bus as their shifts were over and the people headed to their shifts. I love all the different costumes they wear! It makes me so very excited to get my own costume in a few days and feel so a part of everything. The bus ride was a little under 15 minutes, and I took the long way back to get a nice walk in and to call Philip (my brother). We had some lovely conversation and some encouraging words were spoken. I need to call Matthew next (my brother). I got back to an empty apartment and started writing this post! Got my HomePod set up and listening to Ariana Grande's new album. Also watching some people stream Overwatch. I also forgot to mention that my other two roommates excluding Ian are from France and work at the very fancy restaurant at the France pavilion in Epcot. Very cool! Till next time! Bye! Thanks for reading 😊