#this is like hanahaki but not evil and sad

[1004tyun-archive]

soobin who gets so fucking lovesick that he gets headaches,, his chest squeezing. his body making up any kind of excuse for him to call you, have you come over, to take care of him, be there with him. you start to think he's making his headaches and other pains up because as soon as he's in your arms,, he magically stops hurting. but his body is just so, so lovesick for you all the fucking time that it will do anything to survive,, — 🌸

awwww my poor lovesick baby 🥺🥺🥺 this is so cute 😭 he literally needs you to survive he can’t live without you!!

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

[alwaysthefool]

Hurts Like Heaven (Dazai x You)

warnings; death, angst, disease, unrequited love, double suicide mention

tags; hanahaki disease

[Author's note: Obligatory definition of hanahaki disease (from fanlore dot com lol)-- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. In this variation, the reader's symptoms peak up when they actually see Dazai. There's no surgery option in this one 😈]

Fuck, not him again. You could almost cry as you saw Dazai at the cafe, flirting with the waitress, making jokes again. There was no way he wouldn't know as your situation was at its worst, and you couldn't run out because you weren't in the physical condition to. The most you could do was hide your face in your arms and pray he didn't see you. You had decided not to get coffee that day, settling with just green tea to make yourself feel a little better, but you knew just seeing him would give you at least a week's worth of dreams. Just the thought hurt so much. Dazai, who had never outright rejected you, who you could never tell your feelings to, scared of the fatal rejection, but more so, rationally knowing you couldn't give him the love he needed, and he couldn't love you. Your worlds were too different-- you couldn't begin to understand him-- and his heart was elsewhere, unable to love again. You were similar too, both sad with an evil past and tragic fates. The only difference was, unlike you, he could be saved. 

And thus, you let that little dandelion seed of a wish fly out of your hand, only for it to bloom as a petal in your lungs.

You had known him for only a year and started to like him for less than and a half, and it would kill you in only a matter of weeks.

You'd just smile and hide your pain whenever you saw him, excusing yourself and going around back to cough up blood and petals. That didn't hurt as much, neither did knowing you'd die, but what hurt was seeing him. It hurt like heaven. There he was again, with that smile, those eyes that hid a world you couldn't begin to understand, those bandages that you knew hid more than scars, that hair, those hands you wished so badly to touch, even if it would kill you. Death? Blood? What was that? The only thing that caused any substantial pain was the longing, and you wanted so bad to quash it. Your solution was avoiding him and forgetting all about him eventually, no matter how long it took. As long as he didn't appear before you, it would be okay. So why, still, did you decide to stay in the city?

"If it isn't [Name]!" That rich voice chimed, and you heard the chair across you being pulled. Of course he saw you. Of course it would be like that. Of course you couldn't get your night's rest.

Part of your heart bloomed with feelings, and the other wished you hadn't stepped out of your house that day.

You removed your hands from your face, and gave him a weak smile, trying your best not to let the ache in your chest show.

"I feel like I never see you anymore." He pouted those perfect lips as an extremely deadly joke, forcing a few coughs out of you. You immediately turned away, and hid the blood and petals in your handkerchief.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" As if nothing missed his eye, he exclaimed "Is that blood?!"

"Um." You composed yourself again, despite all the pain, thinking of a lie. "Yeah, actually I... I have pulmonary hemosiderosis."

You thanked the knowledge that came from 20 seasons of Grey's, but also slightly cringed at having to keep up a ridiculous lie in front of a detective.

"Do you need any help?" To your dismay, Dazai stood up and sat beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder, making you feel like you'd explode there and then.

Three weeks of bedrest, five weeks of bad dreams, and an even shortened lifespan.

"Please get away from me." You almost cried, closing your eyes and jerking him off reluctantly.

"Alright, just relax, okay?" Even then, he was so cool as you heard him take his original seat. You slowly opened your eyes again, knowing you'd made a mess of your image in front of him. Perhaps his concerned eyes hid a resentment for you, but you didn't care. You just loved him.

"Yeah, sorry, it can be contagious." You lied, knowing he could go home and google that it was not, and hoped he didn't care about you enough to but Dazai stared at you with a look of absolute sternness. Of course he wouldn't believe your lies. But do you know? I wish you knew.

"That so?" He spoke in a way it didn't sound like a question. "Anyway, you do not seem well. Please let me take you to the hospital. Or Yosano, if you're more comfortable with that."

You had already been to Yosano once before, and she told you she couldn't cure that, wishing you all the best as you lied and told her the person you liked already rejected you. He didn't even like you enough as a friend. You were nothing to him, but the unfair universe made him mean so much to you. It wasn't like you didn't understand him. You did, and deeply, but something had gone wrong in both of your destinies that made you end up that way. Dazai was worlds apart from you, and you couldn't reach him. Maybe that pretty girl he had been talking to recently would, maybe someone like Chuuya could, maybe his friends from the agency could, but not you. No, you were just an acquaintance.

And at that moment, you realised no matter how much you tried to ignore him, it wouldn't help-- that you'd die, and you'd feel happy about it. You lost everything to someone like that, all your dreams, your precious life, your esteem and confidence, only for love. Did your life mean nothing beyond that? If you told him, and he reciprocated your feelings, you'd still die from his inciting dream of a double suicide. If he rejected you, you'd die alone. Maybe not doing anything and taking that impossible chance to make your life your own would mean something, despite the disease having a 100% fatality rate if the feelings are not reciprocated.

"No, this is normal, trust me." You finally gave him a reassuring smile. "Besides, I don't think hospitals can help anymore."

"What?" He looked shocked, reaching out to take your hand, and you let him, comforting him instead by rubbing a fragile thumb on his palm . Did he really not know? Why did he look so shocked? Did he care? Those feelings overcame you, and you coughed a little more, apologizing quickly.

"Please tell me there's a way."

You took a deep breath. "Mine's a special case. Even with surgery, there's no chance."

"No..." Dazai looked away from you, outside the window, that pained and distant expression you'd fallen for crossing his face. In that moment, you finally understood it. It was a longingness for something.

"It's fine, buddy." You pulled your hand away from him owing to the ache in your lungs. "I still want to try, you know. I want to live." He still did not look at you as he put his chin on his shaking palm. "And I wish the same for you."

He forced a smile, finally looking at you with those same dead eyes you were always curious about. Now you knew that it meant despair. Dazai was a poem you could only decipher at the brink of your death, and he was far more beautiful and pure than he knew he was.

"If I could, I'd give up my worthless life for yours."

You commanded your lungs and heart to keep at bay, as if telling death you needed a moment before peacefully accepting its call.

"Your life isn't worthless, you know. You did so many good deeds. If you feel like dying, maybe it's because you just need purpose."

Dazai's eyes widened, and it was as if, for a moment, you thought he could love you back, and things would work out, that you could save him and yourself. But those moments were always fleeting, because you knew you had no purpose either, and you'd fall into his vices like you'd fallen for him.

"Do you think you can manage a walk? The weather's beautiful today."

Dazai helped you up, and held you tightly as the two of you walked out, the blossoms from the trees flying about. The scene was almost like a movie, and you knew you were at the end, using the last of your strength to walk, the disease taking over your body completely, the pain being nothing just because he was holding you.

"You're right." You breathed. "It's beautiful. I-"

You wanted to say more to him, you wanted to be held for a little longer, you had so many dreams, and so much you wanted, but your body finally gave out, as you violently coughed blood and petals, Dazai catching you as your feet lost their hold.

"[Name]!" He yelled as he held you in his lap, scrambling his head to find a way to help you somehow, pausing when he saw the petals blossom out of your mouth. Although the thought of you loving someone else hurt him deeply, he still begged you to tell you who it was, whether you had confessed, if there was a chance.

"Hey..." You croaked through tears and coughs. "It's okay, friend. I'm happy to die in your arms."

"Don't say that! You're not dying!" He wished he knew you better to figure out who it was, and you wished he knew you better to know it could be no one else but him. That no one had showed you the kindness he had shown you, that no one helped you life he did, that no one understood you like he did. You were so happy just to have known him. He made your life better despite also making it end; he made it beautiful and gave it a little meaning.

However, you weren't strong enough to tell him all of that, so you chose your final words carefully. "Thank you for everything, Dazai. I was happy to have loved you."

He held you tightly as your eyes closed, those persistent flowers that had plagued you so finally withering as your breathing stopped. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream at you for not telling him, knowing you could be saved because he loved you too. He wished you knew that you could've saved him, that you were enough for him, that he'd overcome his own insecurities and pursued you first instead.

And in the midst of all that regret as he did nothing but hold your still warm form, a single petal bloomed in his lung.

[grimalkinmessor]

Very interested in your "L gets Hanahaki" AU. Especially option 2 because that's the one that seems most like what L would take. Plus, it would likely end in Lawlight (albeit under threat of recurring terminal disease. Wait, does that mean Hanahaki is non explicit version of Fuck Or Die 🤔? Since failure to make the other person fall in love would eventually lead to death).

What sort of things do you think L would do, to make Light fall for him subtly? Does he refer to magazines for romantic advice? Or look stuff up on internet? Ask Wammy or Aiber (who is implied to be happily married even if he's involved in a morally dubious career path)?

I get Hanahaki is serious business TM, but L doing serious research and experimenting what methods work and what don't like a science experiment except it's about romance... It makes me laugh. It's creepy adorable? Sort of.

The possibility of "what to do if Light does love me back, I can't keep Kira... Or can I?" is also fun~

Would L make a 'Kira enclosure'? But if Kira is sad inside said enclosure... Light hurt and sad --> L hurt and sad. It's like hitting his own foot lmao.

Hanahaki is definitely non-explicit Fuck or Die. Love or Die. Except in this case it's Love and Die :3 Fun, isn't it?

And that's the fun bit, honestly—L trying various ways of wooing Light with varying degrees of success. L wouldn't ask Aiber for advice, though, because he's trying to get Light to fall in love with him, not trying to seduce him into bed. Or, well, not just that anyway.

Unironically I think Light would enjoy being wooed like a nineteenth century woman; flowers, poems and letters declaring undying loyalty and intent, expensive gifts and foods, the whole shebang. So I think L's best bet would be to take this and,,,,pervert it, a little bit.

But—first things first—L has to make Light register him as a romantic option, rather than simply an enemy to overcome. Luckily for L, he's already halfway there! He (rightly) assumes that, since no one else has ever had any luck gaining Light's genuine attraction with looks, pretty words, or outright affection, that Light wouldn't fall in love with just anyone, or he'd have a true partner by now. L, with his superior intelligence and moral standing, is likely the only person that could ever actually interest Light long enough for him to develop romantic feelings—and, despite how arrogant that is, he's right! :D So the first and biggest step here is for Light to stop seeing L as a looming threat. L would probably drop some comments here and there about not having Kira executed once he catches them, about how brilliant Kira is, about how it's a real shame that Kira is evil and wants to kill him because a mind like that could be very helpful to him. Drop a bomb in front of the Task Force and admit that he doesn't actually oppose Kira as much as he enjoys the chase and wants solve the puzzle regardless of the true outcome. A gamble, but one that would pay off in terms of Light's murderousness.

While L does that, he also begins to work on the 'wooing' aspect of his plan, by giving Light gifts 💖 BUT the caveat is that Light only receives these gifts directly after being nice or affectionate towards L. L even gives them out when Light is being real/sarcastic with him, to encourage him to not only want to be affectionate with L, but also to open up to him and show him his true (♡Kira♡) self. And then L also, at the same time he begins giving Light gifts, starts leaving romantically inclined things within Light's line of sight. A little heart eraser on their desk, a love song playing in the background while L works, several romance novels joining the book stack near their bed—all while L makes himself a larger figure in Light's life, forcing all of those associations to turn to him. Again, Pavlov would be jealous of the shit L is pulling.

(Watari is not exactly...happy about this turn of events, but he doesn't protest either. He wants L to live as well, he just wishes that it was a nice young lady instead of, you know, Kira.)

The funniest thing about this though, is that it would work. Light would be idly getting ready for the day, pulling on his fancy new clothes that L recently bought for him and liking how nice they look on him, and be mentally planning out a way to do something nice for L so he'll be in a good mood to have Watari order dinner from that nice restaurant again, and also so Light can watch L lick the chopsticks clean because he likes to watch L eat normal food—and then his brain would do the loudest fucking record scratch you've ever heard in your life because when exactly did he start planning his schemes around L's continued existence instead of his death?? When did he start feeling excited to see him, or fond of him??? Diaster!

Meanwhile L hasn't thrown up whole flowers for days and he's feeling pretty good about himself >:3

As for the Kira Enclosure....well, you're right. Locking Light up in any sort of way is no longer an option. But L would see continuing allowing him to be Kira as a loss as well. So maybe L finds a way to pin everything on Higuchi or Misa, and calls for Light to come with him since the case is 'solved'. Maybe L would have both Death Notes by the end, or maybe he wouldn't, but he'd wrap Light up in enough manipulative red tape in front of the Task Force that Light wouldn't be able to refuse him and stay in Japan, so either way Light doesn't exactly have access to a Death Note anymore.

Oh he still might have a page or two that he can use hidden away, but L keeps a very close eye on him 💕 "Light-kun's beauty distracts me" is not much of an excuse when it's true, even if that's not the only reason. And if Light finds an occasion to use one of those pages on, say, one of the more elusive criminals that they're hunting? Well, L didn't see shit, if you're asking. No idea what you're talking about, Watari, that man obviously had prior health problems. His lab results were clearly faked you should probably crack down on that morgue's security—

...Ironically, L with Hanahaki is the one most likely to have a happy ending :3

[dollfaceksj]

hey clover! hope you’re having a good day :) first of all i wanna thank u for ur efforts & i really enjoyed toapp and ur writing style in general, keep up the good work dear! also i admire ur sense of humor ;)

secondly, i wanted to ask for ur recommendation too. what would you advise to read smth similar to toapp. from ur fics obv. i thought abt reminder but wanna hear u out first. i haven’t read any ffcs in like a year already and when i got time i suddenly found u so i’m staying for good as ur new supporter. take care <3

ahh thank u sm. if u like toapp im sure u’d like my other stuff though. i put angst in all my works and it has smut too.

i havent been posting for very long so i don’t have a lot of stuff.

in terms of most like toapp, i’d have to say it’s reminder.

reminder | jjk -> exes w benefits [fuckboy!jk that’s head over heels still in love w you and he’ll remind you that he can still bend you to his will whenever he wants]

my other fics aren’t very similar to toapp but here are short descriptions.

the pink pill | ot7 -> (7 one-shots, only jk’s is out rn) it’s a pill that enhances your arousal and u ask ur bff jk to fuck you. [more versions coming w other members]

schemin’ | myg -> boss/employee [ceo!agust d discovers you in the underground and wants to sign you to his label but no one can deny the sexual tension between u two]

met him last night | ksj -> nerd!seokjin (plottwist) [you think you know your shy and timid coworker kim seokjin but you’re proven wrong when you bump into him outside of work]

everybody loves somebody | pjm -> hanahaki disease [bff!jimin that’s also ur fwb confesses that he’s been seeing someone on the side. u cough up flowers until they nearly kill you.] beware, heavy angst w sad ending

ornery, scandalous & evil | myg -> enemies to lovers [brother’s best friend!yoongi has to take care of you whilst ur parents and brother are away for a month but he never expected the shy girl he knew to have grown up into the biggest brat ever] only the teaser is out though

<333

[fearandhatred]

You don't have to answer all of these if there's too many! Also, hi! :)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

💖 What made you start writing?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

hii bestie <3

🎶 and 🤡 answered!!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

answered here but i do have a few others in the works... i have a hanahaki chaptered fic in my drafts now except the hanahaki has stages of infection 🤭 it's going to take so long to write because i'm doing so much research on flower and animal and plant meanings but i'm super excited for it

💖 What made you start writing?

sandman bonus episode with morpheus and calliope 🙏 i've had ideas for fics written down for years before this but i never actually wrote any of it. until sandman lol it's not even a fic really it's like 600 words but an evil spirit got hold of me and i spat that out half-unconscious and i'm actually still quite proud of it. then idk it all progressed from there. i don't know why exactly it was this that made me start writing because i wouldn't consider either of them my favourite characters lol but it is what it is and i'm grateful

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

i have found that anything with crowley and jesus is my weak spot. writing them just makes me so SAD. idk if i'll ever write another fic with the both of them because i've pretty much covered the whole of golgotha and then some, but if i get another idea i'd definitely want to. there's just something about their inherent dichotomy of being THE son of god and THE serpent of eden but also the insane number of similarities between them and also jesus's whole deal with being kind to everyone. it's just so. it is just so

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

mean? yes all the time... playfully??? no not really. sometimes i feel really evil when writing something but i would consider it all necessary for the story, and also anything that hurts the readers also hurts me to write lmao

[mariahcarreyyy]

so i got cait @enchantecafe to do mafia oscar. and u need to see the snippet she posted it’s so good

but now i wanna do mafia max. or mafia charles. i need lestappiastri x reader. should i do it. hmm.

i was also thinking about angsty hanahaki au with max.

but also amnesia angsty but also romcom au with oscar

help me my brain is so active and it’s 4 am oh my god

STOP THIS RN i cant find the snippet she posted idk why im so sad i wanna read it but ANYWAYS

mafia max😵‍💫😵‍💫 sorry i cant imagine charles as a mafia boss, max fits the part SO well.

if u do a lestappiastri x reader i might have to pass away i LOVEEEEE lestappiastri

girl these r sending me on a rollercoaster i BEG for the hanahaki one theres barely any on here & ao3 like tfff

STOP IT I LOVE AMNESIA AU that sounds evil BUT I DOOOO🙏🙏 oscar (god forbid) crashing at one of his races and he loses a couple years of memorys & consequently, his memory of reader. Maybe u can also make him beleive he's still dating lily z. andnits js insecurities on angst on angst🙈🙈

tag me in any of them pls i beg🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[ask-the-mailman]

what are your favourite ethans and what are the ethans' favorite ethans?

my personal most favored ethans would have to be Slenderethan, ethan sans, clown ethan, catboy ethan, priest ethan (i dontknow why.), poison, ethanmena, ghost ethan, and swap ethan! (i favor dream eater only to draw him like a WHOR—)

and while i can't say for everyone elses ethans— I can say what my ethan creations favorite ethans are!

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dream eater : Slenderethan, scp ethan, ethanmena, god ethan, og ethan, ad!mailman, ??? ethan, and coffee Slenderethan

god ethan : cupid ethan, ethanmena, dream eater, clown ethan, flowershop ethan, the liquid boys, priest ethan, swap ethan, and sans ethan

flowershop ethan : god ethan, the liquid boys, Monsterhunter ethan, omo ethan, swap ethan, and pony ethan

monsterhunter ethan : flowershop ethan, god ethan, catboy ethan, scp ethan, yangire ethan, Yandegire ethan, og ethan, ahodere ethan, dar!ethan, gacha ethan, ??? ethan, and he favors buff ethan only to hunt him down.

demon ethan : sad/emo ethan, poison, and priest ethan, evil ethan

gem ethan : gacha ethan, pony ethan, dar!ethan, mayor mailman, ad!mailman, hanahaki ethan, cupcake ethan

cookie run ethan : creature ethan, cupcake ethan, dream eater, and sad/emo ethan

ghost ethan : poison, ethanmena, flowershop ethan, dream eater, god ethan, scp ethan, Strawberry milk ethan

gacha ethan : pony ethan, creature ethan and cookie run ethan

creature ethan : dream eater, cookie run ethan, Slenderethan, swap ethan and cupcake ethan

shipper ethan : everyone. (mostly omethan ((they r totally besties.)) and cloud ethan)

cloud ethan : ethamena, ghost ethan, Slenderethan, coffee slenderethan, moth ethan, scp ethan, catboy ethan, transfem ethan, ??? Ethan, shipper ethan and plushy ethan

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What are your favorite ethans? :3c

update -> added shipper and cloud : February 18th!

[aetherdoesthings]

MWAHAHA THIS IS ENIES LOBBY ANON HIIIIIIIII

Hi, m'back :D and because I love hurting myself, can I request a hanahaki au! Reader x Robin? :))) if you thought the enies lobby one was angsty, that one was just a test. I'm feeling evil to myself >:)

If you're not familiar with what hanahaki au! is, basically nothing changes about the world except there's now a disease called hanahaki disease, and essentially, someone can get hanahaki disease when they have unrequited love for someone. Symptoms of hanahaki disease include flowers growing in the victim's lungs, and the first signs of the disease come when the victim starts coughing petals. The longer the hanahaki disease prevails (it can go on for years), the more intense and painful the coughing can get and can eventually lead to coughing up whole flowers (stem, petals, and all) until the victim eventually dies. (Fun, right? 🥰) Hanahaki disease can only be cured if the victim decides to lose their feelings for someone or if the victim's crush likes them back.

Typically in Hanahaki au! Fics, the victim hides their symptoms in fear of revealing their romantic feelings. In some fics, certain actions can trigger their coughing, for example, if someone mentions the victim's crush's name, or if the victim sees their crush with someone else, they may start intensely coughing at that moment. Although less rare, some fics make the hanahaki disease non-lethal and more of just a life convenience. This is an option you can put as well. I'm not picky. :)

I thought Hanahaki Disease might fit given Robin's Devil Fruit. Reader would have the Hanahaki disease (so reader likes robin, but robin doesn't like her (yet?)) and because I love to share pain, I'll let you decide reader's fate :). Does she let go of her feelings to live, does Robin like her back to live, or does reader die without the chance of confessing?

I can go more in depth if need be, whether about the plot if you decide that you don't know what direction to go or the disease itself, but I thought that this kind of au leaves a lot of creativity and openness for you in terms of how you would want to approach the plot. How much are you willing to crank up the angst scale? [can you tell I'm a masochist? :) I am a believer in passive aggressive smiley emoticons]

If this is an au/concept you feel uncomfortable writing, please feel free to say no. I know this is a lot, and even if you don't do it, I still love you and your works! Thank you in advance, regardless if you choose to do this request or not. Sorry again for the long ask. 😅

-Enies Lobby anon

holy shit that sounds so angsty and sad and so depressing

oh eneis lobby anon i'm so going to write it just to break your heart

prolly gonna take a week cuz im backed up on requests rn 😭

(also eneis lobby anon can you pls resend the req just so i can see it in my inbox again so i remember tysm 😭🫶🏻)

[purely-you]

The Best JiKook Fics

For the past 2 years, I’ve been scavenging the best of the best. It’s been a hell of a ride going through so much stories and reading everything an author has put out. But through this journey, I’ve found such amazing writers, some of which I sometimes even go back to read because they are that good. These people really need to be applauded for putting such beautiful effort and time into these stories. Their words are literal magic. Chefs kiss for real.

Anyways, I’m still in the process of looking for more amazing fics. This is just the small list of my absolute favorites :)

These are not listed in order of favorites! Some are chapters! Feel free to also recommend some fics to me!

——————————————————————————

✨ Love as Fast as Light - annie_vi

best friends to lovers, singer!jk, yoga-instructor!jimin, fluff, pining, hurt/comfort, smut

✨ Drop Like Confetti - annie_vi

ceo!jk, university-student!jimin, strangers to lovers, age swap, age difference, fluff, smut, light angst,

✨ bad habit - eaden

rock band au, singer!jk, manager!jimin, smut, fluff, indie music

✨ Hey, Baby, I’ve Got My Ion You - jeonify

college au, chemist!jk, fluff, angst

✨ Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping - Ashlyn17

magic, enemies to friends to lovers, mythical beings and creatures, slow burn, bureaucracy

✨ The Lesser Evil - Rose_gold715

mafia au, angst, police brutality, smut, non-graphic violence

✨ Inevitable Us - eaden

time travel, age swap, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, established relationship

✨ Blind Switch - Charmander

farm/ranch au, horse racing, enemies to friends to lovers, jockey!jk, spoiled park jimin, hurt/comfort, emotional abuse (from shitty parents), smut, fluff

✨ Don’t Take Me For Granted - tiffs_scribbles

brothers au, older-brother!jimin, older-brother!taehyung, younger-brother!jk, maknae line, angst

✨ What Does It Mean To Love? - tiffs_scribbles

college/university au, drama, mentions of drugs

✨ CAMELLIA - SUPPLEMIN

unrequited love, emotional hurt/comfort, supernatural, horror, psychological drama, human trafficking, organ theft, tragedy, one-sided relationship, angst, major sad

✨ Winter Flowers - annie_vi

strangers to lovers, florist!jimin, nurse!jk, falling in lover, romance, fluff, smut

✨ gossamer in the light - islandbreeze

fake/pretend relationship, strangers to lovers, slow burn, flirting, vacation, humor, fluff, smut

✨ Training Wheels - jeonify

pining, lots of pining, angst, onsided taekook, childhood friends to lovers

✨ tell me why my gods look like you - paeri

aged up characters, taehyung&jimin are siblings, aged down jimin, whipped jk, fluff, smut

✨ i still do - xxbluedust

college/university au, angst, hurt/comfort, slight unrequited love

✨ 30 Minutes- rhythmsextion

bon voyage, no plot at all, smut

✨ We Bloom Until We Ache - jeonify

hanahaki au, flower shop au, temporarily unrequited love, pining, angst, sad, slow burn, hurt/comfort, jungkook&seokjin are brothers

✨ Finally - Rose_gold715

alpha/omega/beta dynamics, alpha!jk, omega!jimin, angst, wolf pack

✨ Falling for you again - Rose_gold715

temporary amnesia, memory loss, car accident, angst

✨ a slow, steady love - naturallyvante

married life, domestic, established relationship, aged up characters, miscommunication, angst, smut, emotional

✨ shine a light through the dark - fatal (cumrich), jonghyunslisterine

alpha/beta/omega dynamics, singleparent!jimin, firefighter!jk, fluff, humor, light angst, smut

✨ walking worlds - worldcouture

fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, puppy jimin

✨ tell me you’ll come home (even if it’s just a lie) - spudcity

spies & secret agents au, con artists, humor, private investigators

✨ JIKOOK AU #1 - chinatea

soulmates au, with a twist

✨ nobody’s like you - fatal (cumrich)

college/university au, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, angst, jealousy, unresolved romantic tension, love confessions, mutual pining

✨ I already know but tell me again - Rose_gold715

alpha/beta/omega dynamics, alpha!jk, omega!jimin, fluff, angst

✨ Like You Because - Rose_gold715

college/university au, insecurity, one-sided attraction

✨ sun and moon - NaHe

mental health issues, anxiety, fluff, angst, break up, making up, hurt/comfort

✨ A Glass of Water - Rose_gold715

college/university au, namjoon doesn’t know

✨ thoughts on friends (and loving friends) - egbuns

high school au, unrequited love, angst, happy ending

✨ as long as we’re together (does it matter where we go) - daegust

high school au, best friends, bullying

✨ Do Not Tread Gently on My Lovelorn Chest - annafeu

historical au, regency au, drama, angst, smut, master!jk, servant!jimin, abuse, sadism

✨ Ocean Eyes - Yanyiu

college/university au, heavy angst, pining, hurt/comfort, rebound, unrequited love, eventual romance, insecure

✨ the time i’ve loved you - busanpjm

established relationship, heavy angst, smut, married life, happy ending

✨ Imagining you - melodrunkcherry

fake/pretend relationship, strangers to lovers, romantic comedy, light angst, fluff, tattoo-artist!jk, mutual pining, smut

✨ Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked - Charmander

smut, police-officer!jk, street-racer!jimin, some humor, whipped jungkook, smut

✨ sinful, sweet & everything in between. - naturallyvante

police au, detective!jk, police-officer!jimin, strangers to lovers, smut, pining, age difference, jungkook is older than jimin, hurt/comfort, light angst, happy ending

✨ Red String of Fate - sweetmxchi

college/university au, light angst, fluff, hurt jungkook, hurt jimin, childhood friends

✨ The Adventures of Jikook Boyfriends - insideimasadrainbow

fluff, cheesy, smut

✨ parallax - gangbang

magical realism, post-breakup, angst, memory vignettes

✨ Seeking Alpha - Charmander

alpha/beta/omega dynamics, alpha!jk, omega!jimin, fluff, smut, online dating

✨ once upon a timeshare - namakemono

college/university au, rom com, tension, post break up

✨ Celebrity Crush - Polkari Seuta (VeritasEtVira)

fluff, humor, jealousy, established relationship, hurt/comfort

✨ It’s Still Beautiful How You See The World - SOFTAGUSTD

college/university au, whipped jungkook, asshole jimin

✨ baby, love me hard and hold me tight - MyHope (CutesyMe)

arranged marriage, dance-major!jimin, businessman!jk, CEO!jk, smut, slow burn, misunderstandings, miscommunication, light angst, fluff, smut, forced marriage, strangers to lovers

✨ 30 Days - staycute1234

cheating, marriage, divorce, angst

✨ can’t pin me down - busan_brat

pop-star!jk, aged up characters

✨ You’re My 3am Thought - loust

drunk dialing, drunken confessions, post-breakup, angst, getting back together, depression, happy ending

✨ Tonight You Are Mine - plvtoe

modern royalty au, college/university au, slow burn, romantic comedy, prince!jimin, mutual pining, angst, happy ending

✨ miss you (like the moon misses the sun) - cheeks

fluff, established relationship

✨ International playboy (don’t answer) - blt_prf

texting, wrong number, dancer!jimin, model!jungkook, college/university au, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, smut

✨ feeling like a summer breeze - cheeks

fluff, humor, college/university au

✨ expensive lips - flitter

sephora, makeup, strangers to lovers

✨ Dive - fleckle

modern royalty au, prince!jimin, bartender!jk, secret identity, fluff, smut, mutual pining, humor, late night adventures

✨ Leave a Light On - annie_vi

modern royalty, prince!jimin, prince!jk, childhood friends, friends to lovers, arranged marriage, light angst, smut, slow burn, fluff, mutual pining

✨ The Dreaming of Escape - annie_vi

ceo!jimin, photographer!jk, strangers to lovers, major fluff, smut, light angst, airplane

✨ Walking Through a World Gone Blind - annie_vi

blind character, disability, lawyers, light angst, fluff, smut

✨Eight Count - Charmander

boxer!jk, balletdancer!jimin, death, fluff, ptsd, violence, smut, hurt/comfort, angst, dilf!jk

[uweiy]

Original Content Masterpost

because even I can’t find my own damn content on this damned website.

*All fics mentioned are directly on Tumblr unless specified otherwise

The Untamed

Gifsets: Wwx and rooftops /Wangxian and jc being done part 1, part2, part3 / Yiling laozu /At Nevernight I wasn't by your side / I broke my promise /Bunny lanterns 🐇 / Lwj understanding the golden core thing

Fanart: Wwx flower boy mini comic / The red undergarnment / Song Lan / It snows / Yanqing and books

Memes: Is this... 🫱🦋🐦?/ Stabbing yourself in the heart /Picture u can hear /Y'all deserved better / Alignment chart / Tag urself (the untamed characters as people in my classroom ft. Stickmen) / The Untamed character generator

A lot of Textposts-y memes:

Wwx introducing himself and lwj / wwx translating lwj microexpressions / he'd marry you if you asked brother / wwx chugging a whole jar of ??? / Wwx no / there is no cure / Jiang fengmian loves his sons equally / lqr at wangxian wedding / wangji this is not allowed / I'm cold / get the hoe / I wasn't drunk / wen Ning is precious / shut UP / good morning :D

The juniors shenanigans: Jin Ling adulting / *sneaking out*/da headbands very precious yes / fairy climbs a tree

Fics

Xicheng Trying to hold on to you (1.6k, hurt/comfort), you confused me with a fucking dog (1.6k, College AU), They were roommates (10k, college AU)

Wangxian: Night of shooting stars (1.3k,Star!Lwj), Those who bleed (600 words, angst)

Other: Dangling Accessories (1.9k JC&Jin ling, Wandering Heart (Yanqing, 1.5k) Mianmian's Education course (Jc &wq, 800words) Alive (wwx-centric, drabble), Ouyang Zizhen at yi-city (<1k)

More detailed Cql-fic masterpost (with summaries) INCOMPLETE. Or read them in the AO3 collection (username Namariae).

Talks and other stuff

Yanqing 😍

The Untamed rewatch

2019 top 10 favourite posts / 2019 top 10 most popular posts

Cql OST / Beyond Control (LXC Character song)

Ask game

Cultivator conferences = disaster

Mriad

Posts: Chuyao being gay / Chuyao still being gay / list of things Lu Yao stole from Chusheng / Seriously so gay / go make me coffee

Fics: Empty space(filled with flowers) / All that glitters (ao3)

The Devil Judge

Beyond Evil vs The Devil Judge

Textposts: Get the fuck outta my house / Noo don't check me out ahaha / the Gaon Judas imagery

Gifs: *homoerotically pushes you against wall*I heard you live alone / the Kang Mansion / undresses you to tend to ur wounds

Fic: Rightful Place part 1 (Gahan)/ Rightful Place Masterpost

Love is Science

What the fuck is Love is Science?

Gifs: Ouwen's oh shit moments / Mark panicking bc gay / Shen Ying imitating a Sloth / that kiss in the gym / Ouwen pretty ✨ / Lee Mark's outfits are bisexualcore / love is in the little things

Memes/Other: Savage Ouwen / u're reasonable but ur friends are dumbasses /

Fic: The Mark/Ouwen sickfick no one asked for (domestic)

Recommendation lists

Top 5 BL shows I like

I have nothing to watch (yes u do)

Other:

Pile of Goop Aoki (Kieta Hatsukoi) / Rainless love in a Godless land / To my Star cooking (To my Star) / The 6 stages of Tumblr / Hanahaki disease prompts(?)

>📺(more or less) Current Watchlist

___

Other interests

Lotr

Viggo Mortensen has chaotic neutral energy

Continued list of things Viggo did

I've only had Frodo for a Day and a half

What do we do When we are sad

Aragorn you go king

(Discussion)Why does Gandalf love hobbits so much?

The Clearest diamonds (Bagginshield, AO3)

Stranger Things / The Sandman

over at @grabyourpillow

[blisschi]

🍃🌸When the Flowers Bloomed🌸🍃

Pairing: Xiao x Hanahaki! GN! Reader

Warnings: Major Character death, Angst, Hanahaki Disease

Notes: Okay soo.. My first hanahaki one shot got warmly welcomed, so I decided to write one for Xiao! I took all the critism under consideration, I hope you enjoy it.🍃🌿

Tap

Tap

Tap

You walked upstairs quietly, all the way to the top of the Wangshu Inn. You listened to the raindrops falling from your soaked clothes onto the wooden floor.

No matter where you go, you end up there. Where it all began. Where you felt safe and calm.

When you finally reached the top floor, you stepped out onto the balcony and looked at the night sky. The stars looked unusually beautiful that night.

You leaned against the railing and sighed loudly, raindrops falling onto your pale face. But you couldn't care less.

Did it really make any sense to care about something at that moment?

You smiled weakly as you felt the pain in your chest expanding. You gritted your teeth and made a defeated whine

How long will you have to deal with this awful feeling?

A feeling that keeps you awake at night.

A feeling that's slowly killing you.

You closed your eyes and your thoughts went back to that day. The day you first met him.

Tap

Tap

"Who are you?" You heard a rather rough voice from behind you, forcing you to turn to the stranger in surprise.

You were in Liyue for the first time, you were planning to spend the night in Liyue Harbor, but the rain caught you off guard, so you decided to stay overnight in one of the Wangshu Inn rooms.

You heard from the receptionist, that from the top floor, there is the most beautiful view of Liyue, so why wouldn't you take a look? You've been standing there for over an hour, so it didn't surprise you when someone finally took an interest in you.

"I've never seen you here before." The man added, looking at you up and down.

You could swear you've never seen someone so beautiful before. His honey-colored eyes shone in the light of the setting sun. Although beautiful, they looked sad. You've never seen someone with such pained eyes before.

"Is everything alright?" You asked quietly, pulling back from the wooden railing and reaching towards the man who, seeing your actions, took a step back.

"Who you are?" He growled, making you jolt up in place. He probably doesn't like strangers. - You thought and sighed softly, raising two hands up in defeat, showing that you had no evil intentions.

"I'm just a traveler.." You said, turning your head to the side slightly, looking out at the beautiful landscape of the mountains. "Liyue is really beautiful, isn't it..? I've always wanted to come here."

The man remained silent, never taking his eyes away from you. You glanced back at him and smiled kindly.

"You look like something's bothering you."

He froze in place. Was it that obvious? He sighed quietly and walked over to the railing next to you, finally looking away and facing the setting sun.

He didn't answer your question, but he didn't seem to ignore it either. He didn't know what to say. You wouldn't understand anyway.

Using the moment to get a better look at him, you stared at him in awe. His hair looked messy as if he didn't care to style it at all. However, despite this, it had a beautiful dark color that ended in a shade of turquoise at the ends.

His skin was pale, but looked healthy. His face calm, previously golden irises, now reflecting the red light of the sun, giving them a beautiful warm shade. The eyeliner that matched the scene perfectly, emphasized his beauty features.

His clothes were also unusual, but you were not about to question it at the moment. After all, you just got to Liyue and didn't know what people in this region were dressed like. The tattoos on his arm, however, were something amazing, that you didn't want to look away from. Bright lime color contrasting with the dark shade of his hair.

"Beautiful.." You blurted out, attracting the attention of the male who was clearly waiting for the continuation of the sentence you started.

You blushed slightly and quickly turned your head towards the landscape, pointing towards the mountains which beyond the sun had just gone down.

The male remained silent for a moment and closed his eyes, taking a breath of the fresh, rainy air. Like you, he didn't seem to care about the weather. His hair earlier admired by you, drenched by raindrops, covered half of his face. For a moment you thought about reaching out and brushing the hair out of his face, revealing the glow of his bright eyes once more.

However, from your fantasies, you were disturbed by the sound of his voice.

"Minlin. You can see Qingyun Peak and the nearby mountain tops from here." He answered your earlier question, peeking at you from the corners of his eyes. "However, I would not advise you to go there. Mountains can be dangerous to ordinary mortals."

You blinked your eyes a few times and tilted your head to the side, surprised at his words. Mortals? What did he mean..

"What do you mean-"

"But when the flowers bloom, it's really beautiful there. The view can be worth the risk." He said softly, a soft smile spreading across his face, remembering the amazing sight. The Qingxin flowers really did bloom beautifully.

This time it was you who became silent, looking back towards the mountains, imagining the amazing sight of the flowery peaks.

When the flowers bloom.. I will definitely have to go there.

Tap

Tap

You decided to stay at the Wangshu Inn for a little longer. You were in no hurry to get to the harbor, and you weren't sure they'd have any place to stay there anyway.

And here you're not lacking anything. In the morning you met with the other temporary inhabitants of the building, but you didn't hear anything from anyone about the male you met yesterday evening.

The woman at the reception desk, as you later found out - the boss, knew him very well. She told you his name was Xiao. She looked very surprised that he appeared to you the first time you were there. Usually, hardly anyone saw him.

You learned from her that he was not an ordinary human, which intrigued you extremely. You had never met any divine creature before, so it was obvious that you wanted to get to know him a little more.

"He had to be in a really good mood." She said with a smile, looking towards the balcony.

Good mood? You didn't know if the pain in his eyes could be called good mood. Though it might only be your imagination, you didn't know him at all.

"Or he got interested in you." She added, putting a finger to her chin as if she was thinking about something. "Maybe it's about time he should spend some time with someone.."

You glanced upstairs to the top floor and smiled slightly. So he was lonely? Maybe you could try to do something about it.

You thanked the woman for all the useful information and left the Inn with a bright smile.

That day you went to the city, mainly to explore the area and learn about the culture there. You made a note that if you ever needed any gear for travelling, you should go to the local shops.

You ate the meals in the city, enjoying exotic cuisines. There was nothing you didn't like about Liyue. Forever warm region.. except from rains and storms there were no worse weather phenomena.

On that day, you returned to Wangshu Inn quite late in the evening, completely exhausted from your journey. With a smile on your face, you went to the top floor and walked up to the same wooden railing where you met the male yesterday.

"Today was really interesting.." You started, even though there was nobody else on the balcony but you. "I went to this famous Wanmin Restaurant.. But I didn't get to meet the famous Xiangling."

You smiled at the memory of how much you liked the food you bought there.

"I also went to the port itself! In fact, I spent the day mostly there.. The ocean looks really beautiful. You would just want to get on one of the ships and drift away, right?" You chuckled at your own words as you looked up at the starry sky.

There was silence. You waited for any response from the boy, but got none, so you decided to continue.

"I also went to one of those places where you can hear the stories being told! They were really interesting, although you never know how much truth there is, huh?" You said with a smile, leaning slightly over the railing, looking down at the view.

Silence.



All you heard was silence. However, you were determined to continue, especially after what the woman at the reception told you.

"I heard you like Almond Tofu, right? Maybe tomorrow I could get you some.. We could have dinner together!-"

"I don't need company." Your sentence got interrupted by his voice. The voice you heard last night. You smiled broadly and turned around, only to see his annoyed figure. "What are you doing here so late again?"

You sighed softly and shook your head at his cold tone, holding your index finger up as if to say something smart.

"Everyone needs company, Xiao!" He flinched at the sound of the name you spoke out. He figured you already talked to the Inn Boss. He walked over to you and leaned against the railing, like yesterday, looking towards the tops of the mountains.

"I'm not everyone." He replied shortly, indifferently, crossing his arms. "I prefer to eat alone."

"So, Tofu for dinner tomorrow!" You said cheerfully, pushing yourself away from the railing and slowly walking away from the balcony, you waved at him. Xiao sighed softly and rolled his eyes, looking up at the night sky.

Dark clouds began to appear in the sky, and as if someone had read his thoughts, it began to rain.

Tap

Tap

"Xiao!" You called out as you stepped onto the balcony with a smile. You were holding two plates in your hands, two portions of Almond Tofu. "I asked the chief to make me the best tofu he has ever made! Hope you like it! Anyway, it's my first time eating it, I hope I like it too.."

You put the plates on a small table in the corner of the balcony. It was evening, you chose to wait until most of the people were gone so that Xiao could feel comfortable.

"I told you I'd rather eat alone-"

"Here you are!" You waved to the male and pointed to the plate on the other side of the table, excitement flashed across your face. You liked learning new things. And what could be better than learning about new tastes?

You sat down at the table, waiting for Xiao to do the same. You looked at him and it was obvious that he felt a bit awkward. People usually gave him tofu, but no one had thought about spending their time with him before and accompanying him to eat a meal.

You sighed and smiled warmly as you tried to convince him to eat.

"Enjoy your meal." You said and dag into tofu. After the first bite, your eyes widened and you gave a shout of satisfaction, surprising the male in front of you. "This is delicious! No wonder you like it so much!"

Xiao looked at you for a moment, without saying a word, surprised by your behavior. After a while he smiled slightly and looked down at his plate and whispered a soft 'Thank you' before starting to eat.

The two of you had a good time that evening, at least in your opinion. Until late, you told the male how your day went and what you thought about it. Most of the time, Xiao remained silent, patiently listening to what you had to say.

You probably would have spent more time with him if it wasn't for the feeling of tiredness. No wonder you were tired. You're human after all.

After saying goodbye, you assured him that you would come again tomorrow.

Tap

Tap

The next few days were the same. After doing your daily activities, you waited for the evening to go to the top floor of the Wangshu Inn and spend time with Xiao. It got to the point where you were looking forward to the evenings and your meetings together turned into a routine.

As time passed, Xiao began to speak more and more. To be honest, You had the impression that with each meeting he opened up to you more and more.

It took two months for him to tell you the truth about his past. It was not the happiest meeting of yours, but you were glad that he trusted you enough to reveal something so painful.

"Xiao.." You whispered, placing one hand on his shoulder and smiling slightly, reassuringly. "I know I'll never be able to understand how much you are suffering, but I want you to know that you have me now.. Right..?"

You looked up at him and saw tears forming in the corners of his eyes. You could have sworn that at that moment your heart ached, as if you could feel a part of the pain he was going through.

You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around his figure, covering him in a warm embrace. Xiao shuddered slightly at the sudden contact, not being used to physical contact at all, even with you. You respected that he didn't like being touched, but at this point you couldn't help it.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay..? You're not alone anymore.. so please don't cry." You said softly, embracing the male tighter. You looking over his shoulder at the mountain tops.

"When the flowers bloom.." You started calmly, closing your eyes and concentrating on the warming embrace he returned.

"You have to take me to Minlin."

Tap

Tap

You laughed softly as you wandered around Qignce Village with Xiao. You finally got him out for a walk. You've tried to do this several times before, but each time he would give you the same answer.

Together, you climbed the smaller peaks there, with a smile on your face, you observed Xiao watch your every move hoping that you wouldn't hurt yourself. After all, you were just a mortal and he didn't want to lose you.

You fell to the ground with a wide smile across you face and breathed heavily while giggling quietly.

"I don't know if I'll be able to go down.. I guess you'll have to take me out of there." You said, closing your eyes. Xiao sat down on the ground next to you and looked into the distance.

"I do not see a problem." He replied indifferently, the red glow of the setting sun reflected in his honey-colored eyes.

"Humans are so fragile.. You should take better care of yourself."

You opened your eyes and he turned his head towards you, looking straight at you. Eye contact made you forget your earlier fatigue for a moment, and all that remained in your head was how beautiful his eyes seemed.

The sadness you noticed the first time you looked at it were long distant, as if pushed to the background.

"Thank you for everything." He whispered, smiling slightly, making a warm, tickling sensation appear in your chest that didn't bother you at all.

"Xiao.."

"I guess that's what people call friendship."

The pleasant feeling suddenly turned into emptiness. As if something inside you snapped. You sat up and looked down at your wounded hands from climbing. You wanted to chase the feeling from a moment ago, but you weren't sure how.

You felt something wet meet the palm of your hand, only to soon find out that it was your own teardrop.

Why are you crying? After all, you couldn't let yourself have any warm feelings towards Xiao. After all, you were only human. Just a fragile human.

"Are you crying..?" You heard the worried voice next to you, Xiao looking at you with those beautiful golden pupils again. "Something hurts you?"

"No! Just..." You forced a smile, more tears ran down your cheeks, while forming a perfect lie. "I'm just so happy you called me a friend."

Tap

Tap

The next day you didn't go to see him. You decided to stay in your room at Wangshu Inn and get your thoughts together.

Did you really feel romantic feelings towards him? How did it even happen? After all, these were just innocent meetings, you just wanted to keep him company.

When did you get to the point where you started feeling affectionate for him? Maybe it was from the very beginning.. You really couldn't think about it right now, with the same word ringing over and over in your head.

Friends.

Of course. Of course you are friends. Xiao is an Adepti. Neither he nor you can let yourselves form any romantic feelings. What would come out of it? Such feelings.. have no right to exist.

You gritted your teeth at the stabbing pain in your chest, pushing your head against the pillow, your hand clenched on the sheets. So this is how the heart hurts - You thought as you felt another wave of tears come to your eyes and in a few minutes all you could hear in the room, were your soft sobs and the sound of raindrops hitting the wooden floor of the balcony.

Tap

Tap



You didn't meet Xiao the next day either. You've tried your hardest to get rid of the stinging feeling in your chest, whenever you thought of him.

You tried with all your strength to deny your feelings for Xiao.

Xiao, on the other hand, was waiting for you on the top floor. He was patiently waiting for the meeting. He respected your decisions and respected your time, understanding that you can be busy sometimes.

But that hurt you the most. Didn't he even decide to check if you're okay? You haven't been far after all.

You swore to yourself to get rid of the pain with all your might. That you'll get rid of your feelings.

When Xiao didn't meet you on the top balcony the next few days, he became worried. What if you got sick? Or did you do something serious to yourself during your walk in Qingce Village?

He decided to check if everything was okay with you. He made his way to your room and knocked on the door lightly, unlocking it when he got no answer.

"[Y / N]?" He called out your name, looking around the room, noticing that there's only one light on, in the bathroom. "Are you there?"

You stood in front of the mirror looking at your reflection. Red eyes, swollen from crying.

"Yes.. Why are you here?" the question left your mouth, turning your head towards the door, waiting for his answer. For a moment your heart stopped. So he cared? You were grateful.. but how quickly you felt relieved, the feeling of your breath taken away appeared, suddenly forcing you to cough.

Xiao immediately opened the door, entering the room and approaching your weakened form. He looked at you worriedly, placing his hands on your shoulders, only to be pushed away.

He widened his eyes and remained silent. You've never pushed him away like this before.

"It's just a cold.. I must have got sick while we were out for a walk." You lied, forcing yourself to smile. "Sorry that I didn't come to the balcony.. I didn't want to make you sick."

Can Adepti even be sick at all? You were almost sure they can't, but nothing sounded more believable in your mind.

"I'll see you as soon as I get better, okay?"

He nodded, leaving you alone.

Tap

Tap

Tap

Another week has passed, your condition worsened, but you cannot bear the longing you feel every night. Every day.

As soon as your thoughts returned to the male, your heart started to ache and a sudden shortness of breath formed in your lungs.

Maybe if I start spending time with him again, it'll all be over?

You walked upstairs slowly, to the top floor of the Wangshu Inn, then approached the wooden railing.

"Xiao.. You are here, aren't you?" You said weakly, closing your eyes. "I feel better now. I hope you didn't miss me too much.."

You laughed lightly at your absurd words, but your voice died in your chest as you felt familiar arms wrap around you from behind.

"I didn't miss you.." He whispered, lying, pushing his face against your shoulder. You felt the tears forming up in your eyes.

I'm sorry..

That you're not able to love me..

Tap

The next few days were the same. You started spending time with Xiao again, spending the evenings together.

Usually you talked about irrelevant topics, gazing hopefully at the stars. For a moment you felt like you were able to reveal your feelings to him, maybe it would help with your condition..

But you were too afraid of rejection.

"Xiao.."

"Hm?"

There was silence, your mouth refused to open again, only your eyes looked at him with unbearable longing.

When you finally opened your mouth, it wasn't the sound of your beautiful voice that came out, but a rough and harsh cough. Choked, as if something is stuck in your throat.

Words?

Feelings?

Xiao widened his eyes and reached his hand towards you, hoping that he would be able to help you in any way, but you turned away from him and, with one hand covering your mouth, shaked your head.

"It's already.. a little cold.. I'll go back to my room." And with those words, you walked off the balcony, leaving Xiao alone.

Tap

Tap

"Why?!" You exclaimed, hitting the pillow furiously with your clenched fist. You felt powerless. Hopeless.

Your condition worsened every day, your feelings deepened too quickly. The incessant strange feeling in your lungs has turned into a nightmare, wiping out any other feeling..

Why can't he love me? You asked yourself, tears falling on the satin sheets. You didn't blame him, but you couldn't hide the frustration you felt at the moment..

Helplessness. Longing for the old days.

Promise.

When the flowers bloom.

You widened your eyes, feeling a sudden urge to cough, and almost fell off the bed, feeling a few flower petals leaving from your throat.

You were breathing heavily, staring at the bloody petals in your hand, wiping your mouth with the other hand.

They were white. Snow white. Extremely delicate.

You clenched your fist and tilted your head back, starting to sob.

Despite the excruciating pain you felt that day, you went to see him in the evening.

You chose to ignore the flower petal incident from earlier, not wanting to worry him. After all, he already had enough problems on his mind.

You looked up at his face and smiled nostalgically as you recalled your first meeting here.

He looked just as beautiful as the first time. Honey, glittering eyes reflected the light of the stars, and you could have sworn they were so bright that you saw your own reflection in them.

Xiao turned to you and gave you a worried look. Unlike him, you looked worse every day.

Dark bags under your eyes because of sleepless nights, eyes red from crying. Your skin seemed paler than usual.

Chills.

You could feel the constant shivering of a piercing pain in your chest, slowly throbbing up your throat.

You felt something fall on your cheek, a drop of rain.

You looked up at the sky and smiled slightly as you leaned towards the male and wrapped your arms around him, trying to get some warmth.

"In less than a month.. I'll take you to Minlin." He whispered, returning the embrace.

"In less than a month.. flowers will bloom."



Tap

A drop of blood ran down your chin.

Tap

You bent over the sink, trying to stop the coughing that made you spit more white petals.

Your eyes were covered in tears, limiting your vision to only blurry sight.

Is that what people call suffering from love?

You couldn't take it.

Maybe a better solution would be to just end it all?

No.. You promised Xiao, you wouldn't leave him.

Another wave of coughing, another wave of flower petals.

More drops of blood.

Tap

The next week you coughed up the first fully-bloomed flower. Although stained with blood, it's beautiful. White, like the stars on the night sky. White, like the flowers Xiao told you about.

Tap

"A-agh!" You let out a long whine of pain as you coughed out more flowers. There was no day you could relax.

Please..

Hold on for a few more days... until...

The flowers bloom.

Tap

You were standing by the railing right now. On the balcony where it all began.

You squeezed your eyes shut at another coughing attack that forced you to fall to the wooden floor.

"[Y / N].." You heard his voice from behind you, he stood there in shock, eyes wide, staring at you with fear.



You spit out another flower, unable to hide any symptom from him anymore. He ran up to you, kneeling next to you and taking you in his arms.

"I'm sorry.. Xiao.." You whispered, trying to catch your breath as a burning pain shot through your throat. "Tomorrow.. we were supposed to go to the mountains.."

Xiao shook his head, tears appearing in his eyes for the first time in a long time. How did he not notice?

Why didn't you tell him anything? Why didn't you tell him you were suffering all this time?

You opened your mouth, and with the last of your strength, with the last of your voice, you whispered.

"I really.. all this time.. loved you."

Tap

Tap



The rain continued to pour, and the only thing that could compare to the raindrops at that moment were Xiao's tears as he wrapped his arms around your body.

Your cold, exhausted body.

As the flowers bloomed, his eyes returned to the same emptiness and sadness that you saw the first time you met him.

When the flowers bloomed, he lost the person he had come to love for the first time in his long life.

When the flowers bloomed..

The peaks of the Minlin mountains stopped to seem so beautiful.

[soukoku-fic-recs]

◡̈⋆🅷🅸(●’◡’●)ﾉ

I just found your amazing blog yesterday and I wanted to send some fics to thank you for helping me find some of my fav soukokus 😌

• An Invocation to death by orphan_account

- Let's start with one of my fav fics by one of the best authors. Orphan_account deleted their page so I can't link it 😔 But their books are {chef's kiss} This particular book is really sweet with a sad chuuya and a caring dazai. Minor charater death though ☺

• No shine to it also by orphan_account

- A mordern life au + models au !! Really funny and it got me a good laugh. Recommend this one 100%

• Shorn of their filthy flesh by orphan_account

- I'm too obsessed with their writing 😀 But this book got me hooked. Very addicting. Traitor!Soukoku and Evil!Mori. Minor violence !!

• Love comes flying out the window again by orphan_account

- Very recommended !! The summary got me smiling and obsessed so "Thankfully, everyone knew Dazai and Chuuya — if not, they would've been confused as to why they were insulting each other rather than saying their vows." o(≧▽≦)o

• Blown back by the wind by. . . you guessed it. . . orphan_account

- In Atsushi's POV!! Short, sweet and fluffy :] What more could anyone ask for (◍•ᴗ•◍)

• Actually. . . orphan_account has a series full of soukoku one-shots !! Its called welcome to soukoku hell and 10000% recommend. All the stories are so (❁´◡`❁).

• Born for love and revolution by. . . I'm pretty sure you'd know it's orphan_account. . . I'm sorry for recommending so many of their fics ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

- This goes into my top 5 soukoku fics. Short and sweet but angsty ending !! Chuuya's POV and very well-written

• A sinking sorrow; like the rain by orphan_account 😀

- Part 2 of Born for love and revolution but with Dazai's POV :^

• Fake it Till you break by gureshintrash

- Another suffering chuuya and caring dazai fic cause I'm a sucker for them. Long but very fluffy (o´・Υ・)ﾉ･ gureshintrash's books are highly recommended if you ever need a calming soukoku after a bad day !!

Bonus : Encounters by Glenraven

- A shin soukoku because the ship makes me go 🦋🦋🦋. I'm not sure if smut is your thing but if you do like some very sweet, fluffy but aggressive 😤 scenes. This is the book !! One of the best-written shin soukokus ever!!

Bonus : I shall never grow so old by blchwaan

- Had to tag this shin soukoku with Hanahaki!Akutagawa.

Well. . . That's all I have for now. Sorry that this wasn't that many fics :( Wish you well and love your account !!

- Bri

Thank you so much!! I loved your suggestions, can’t wait to look through all of the ones I missed! And don’t worry, there can never be enough orphan_acount in this blog!!

Have a fantastic day! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

-f

[citrinekay]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

You are one of two anons to send me this message so thank you to both of you 😘

1. The Papermill Revivals - this is a Mindhunter AU set in late Prohibition Era featuring jaded FBI detective Bill Tench who has a drinking problem and questionable life choices, and Catholic priest Holden Ford, a true bleeding heart with his own sordid past. Together they have to work together to stop criminal business tycoon Ted Gunn from securing their small-town of Papermill, Virginia in his evil grasp. This fic is quite possibly the best thing I've ever written as far as plotting goes. If you're so inclined, you might even enjoy it without ever having watched Mindhunter.

2. The Way Home - this is another AU but of Black Sails this time. An intergalactic science fiction journey set in a war-torn, apocalyptic future. James and John are marooned together on a dying planet and must work together in order to escape with their lives. Romance and adventure ensues.

3. This stretch of sand and sea - Black Sails post-canon anti-fix-it. Silver contracts Hanahaki disease after ending the war and sending Flint to the plantation. The disease plagues him for 10 long years until he at last begins the journey to find Flint in the Americas and try to confess all the things he never said. (WARNING: this fic is grim and sad and not entirely hopeful. Don't read if you're not a fan of ambiguous/possibly unhappy endings. That being said, I am probably most proud of this fic out of all my Black Sails writing)

4. Trust Among Thieves - Since I can't rec the whole series, I offer you the first out of seven fics set in a canon-compliant timeline where Silver and Flint take up a sub/dom relationship during the pre- season 3 raids. Featuring a lot of kinky stuff but mostly cock & ball torture. Sounds like a lot or something you might not usually find sexy?? Just give it a try and trust me. I put my heart and soul into this one.

5. The Painted Veil - the oldest fic of mine I'm gonna rec here mostly because my twin loves this story and that makes me even fonder of it. A Hannigram post-fall fic set in Iceland that has Will and Hannibal sharing the tiny spaces of a defunct lighthouse. Heavy on dialogue, fancy metaphors, literary and biblical allusions, and a surreal sense that maybe none of this is actually real.

I'll tag @mail-me-a-snail @willgrahambf @etoilesombre and nobody else because I think my other writing buddies already got this ask. Only if you want to of course 💖

[katierosefun]

Can I ask about fanfic commentary of Beyond Evil fic „a wildflower like (for) you”? Especially that part from '“They’re a fool for not loving you.”' to '“Why don’t you,” Joo Won said. “Love me.”' I loved that part. When I read it for the first time I cried. It was so good <3

aah thanks for asking about this part!

so actually, when i was writing this fic, i realized that i'd misunderstood what the hanahaki trope was about--because i thought that hanahaki disease manifested when someone had what they perceived to be unrequited feelings (learned later that the traditional use of the trope was that no. the person suffering from hanahaki disease is literally suffering from unrequited feelings).

but too late, i was still rolling with it--because i wanted the core of the story to be about joo won and dong sik both having stupid feelings for each other but also, because they are stupid when it comes to actually making a move, so it was very much a relief when joo won finally came out with the Issue (ie. "i love you like this but i don't think you feel the same way which is why i am currently vomiting up an entire flower field").

the line they're a fool for not loving you is also one of my favorites just to write, because while it's a simple sentence, i feel like it's a thought that people have had when they're witnessing someone they love in love with someone else. like, there's this very specific pain that comes along with seeing someone who you love and you adore and you know like the back of your hand getting hurt over someone else--it doesn't necessarily have to be the possessive Nice GuyTM type of attitude that i think we often see in other stories, but it can be a genuine pain, because when you truly love someone, you get happy when they're happy and you get sad when they're sad. (even if the reason for their sadness might be something that personally hurts you.)

but luckily for joo won and dong sik, they get to realize that their feelings weren't unrequited all along. :'))

[ask-the-mailman]

so. uh. do any of the ethans hate it there. or like do you all love it

most of them hate it here,

the ones that hate it here the most are; Sad/emo ethan, evil ethan, ghost ethan, scp ethan(probably((i would too))), monster hunter ethan, yangire ethan, Yandegire ethan, dar!ethan, ethanmena, poison, hanahaki ethan, omo ethan and ime!ethan.

( fixes glasses ) since they're all kinda bound to the house and cannot leave— they hate having to be in a house with themselves 24/7.

...dream eater just hates not being able to do his job because eating the variations dreams doesn't work.