#this is kind of an inside joke but i dont rlly care

[youlookkindadead]

made this gif of my silly cuz theres like no gifs of him out there....

[termagax]

🫧,🐚, and 🕯for da gaaaame :3

🫧 : who makes the other one laugh more, you or your f/o? do you tell each other jokes, or is it more a natural sense of humor?

i think fish makes him laugh more. they tend to laugh at each other more than with each other but they dont really mind because a)theyre assholes and b)they both think the others weird ugly laugh is very pretty. so i guess a more natural sense of humor! i think rat is the only one who tells Jokes on purpose with any frequency and he's only successful like. ~half the time.

🐚 : do you give each other gifts often? what's your favorite thing they've given you? what's their favorite thing you've given them?

i think theyre not great at gifts given they tend to be on the move a lot but they do get each other a lot of silly crap. tacky gas station t shirts and novelty mugs and fugly stuffed animals. i dont know if theyd have any particular objects theyd rlly treasure, they arent very materialistic people honestly. they like havign Things but things come and go, theyre used to losing stuff or damaging it. i do think hed have one of those horrible onion plushies that he brings with them on all their trips and that things probably been patched 1 billion times. mostly by fish. so thats pretty special. and then idk for them. maybe a blanket or something? he has those ones at his place in jtown with the pretty patterns on them, i bet he'd give them one or "accidentially" leave it at theirs. or maybe like a tshirt they stole from him or something, i think theyd get really clingy over stuff that smells like him esp. when hes not around all the time.

🕯 : do you and your f/o live together? why or why not? what do your living space(s) look like?

depends on the time period! when theyre in the alf i do think theyd start living at his house full time - its kind of a small little farmhouse (in my mind he inherited it + the land from his parents who died when he was ~16-17? i think theydve mostly raised pigs and hes not all that interested in that <- tangent we dont have time for) and its a bit of a mess, hes not much of a homemaker and he lives alone and doesnt take care of it, but its cute! cute decor, nice place to be, just rough around the edges and also muffin is here and lives inside so its always a bit of a wreck.

once things get bad theyre seperate for a Lot of reasons but somewhere in there there are a lot of Places. i think fishd probably end up staying in whats left of his farm for a while (half out of hope that he'll come back and find them - which in their defense he eventually does) while he gets a place in jtown while hes working for the queen? some shitty flat which kind of sucks because. junkertown. but hey its free. and then at some point he gets fired adn leaves and gets that garage/warehouse thing from the jtown map. and at some point fish gets a boat which in my mind is reclaimed from the crisis and has a sort-of glitchy ai who kind of sucks and is a bitch but they work it out. its pretty well kept all things considered, they work on it all the time, but its always got a lot of salvage and random crap they found in the ocean lying around. and this is where the three of them stay once rats world tour plan is a thing, except for when theyre on land, which i guess the hidey hole crawl is still technically living together! and then in my mind they join ovw at some point which i guess????? means they stay at the watchpoint but idk

[respitelocklyre]

⚠️ Failed to post due to network connectivity issues. Please check that your connection is stable and try again.

[The following session summary is set up as a series of fast-paced tweets from Respite's private account, none of which posted successfully.]

>Heyyy so this is a longshot but does anyone here know spells that can undo, like, idk... transmutation magic? I think I messed w some fae shit and now im tiny and trapped inside an enchanted dollhouse lol [Attached are pictures of gigantic furniture, as seen from through a window, presumably from inside said dollhouse]

>As if my date night hasnt been going badly enough im gonna kms

>Okay for some context, if u follow my insta or dinkdonk u know im at the seelie market tonight and everything seemed rlly fun but it turns out there's some dark shit happening. so we wanted to snoop more while their main show was going on.

>(like ENSLAVEMENT kinda dark shit btw- we're trying to help ppl! there's a hag running the market and holding ppl hostage!! including my friend's sister maybe!!! I promise I'll have a whole other post abt that later tho lol)

>Anyways i talked to the guy running the ring toss & he said the show would be like 30min but didn't know if the big bad boss lady (Madame) would be there or not so we were being sooooo careful

>We even checked for divination magic but Sersh didn't find ANY magic at all, which was ultimately WAY more sus. Thad kept saying we should just leave which, like, FAIR, but i felt like we couldn't just go back empty-handed (mistake)

>Can't go into too much detail but i found my way into the totally unlocked Madame's caravan to try and search for the contracts keeping everyone enslaved. it was full of puppets and dolls and dresses and this crazy ornate dollhouse (foreshadowing)

>Also wait omg i almost got caught while sneaking in, but i used a bunch of cantrips to make everyone think there was an earthquake and then i pretended to be one of the marionettes inside the caravan when the goblin workers came to investigate lolol suckers totally fell for it

>And once they were gone i found a key and a couple slips of paper inside a wardrobe! The papers were these weird fairytales. Does anyone recognize them??? [Attached images of the uploaded document/story from the DM]

>The key went into a slot in the dollhouse so naturally, if a key fits im gonna turn it, right??? it must've been trapped tho bc that shit knocked me TF out

>So that's where im at rn. I just kinda woke up inside the dollhouse. im gonna keep trying to call my bf or my party but the service is spotty af. Any advice is appreciated 😭

>^^^For legal reasons this is all a joke btw and i didn't do any of this. Making it up for clout, etc etc

>Kind of urgent

>Also OMG I almost forgot the most important part: one of my party members showed me his fucking SOUNDCLOUD and it was so 💀💀💀 PLEASE go give it a listen and tell me ur thots lol his handle is @/ThadyT

>like dont be mean or comment anything bc he'll know whats up so be cool but omfg i just need someone else to listen to this alfkjasldf;fdhg

>Oh shit i dont think these are posting LMAAOOOO RIP TO ME 🪦 SEE U GUYS IN THE SHADOWFELL IG 🫡🐦‍⬛👑

[brothersonahotelbed]

if it isn't asking for tmi what's your band called like starting one with your cousins is so wicked im so interested and i you don't wanna answer that like what kind of stuff do you write/make instead :()

NOT TMI AT ALL I LOVE TALKIGN ABOUT MUSIC FUCK YEAFH

our band's called "et un cheval" which means "and one horse" in french. i wish i had a cool backstory for why we chose this name but in reality it's kind of an inside joke that came about while we were all laughing our asses off at 3 in the morning, sleep deprived out of our minds. you know when youre so tireed that everything's funny? that's kind of how it originated, cause our original name was going to be the four horsemen (theres 4 of us), but there are like a hundred bands with that name . i rlly dont remember how we got "and one horse" from "the four horsemen" but one of my cousins studied french and shes like "hey it would sound rlly cool if it was in french" and she was RIGHT. so ...yeah! et un cheval, that's our band name :)) it makes no sense but we've embraced it <3

as for music, we're hoping to be indie rock at best. we're all still fairly new at our instruments cause we're all self-taught (me with guitar + ukulele and the others with guitar, bass, and piano) so we're still trying to find our sound at the moment. none of us actually played instruments until a few years ago, so we're learning how to write songs as a BAND with INSTRUMENTS. which is hard. but fun ! :D

right now to help us figure out how to play instruments together as a band, we're working on covers of songs instead of writing original songs. so like right now, we're working on call me what you like by lovejoy and trying to learn our individual parts on our instruments + how to play them together with each other. and dude. LET ME UFCKING TELL YOU. THIS SHIT IS SO MUCH FUN. IT'S SO MUCH FUN AND I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT WE'RE NOT THAT GOOD YET BECAUSE I'VE LITERALLY DREAMED OF BEING IN A BAND SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID and now it's finally coming true :)))))

thank you so much for asking i love lovel ove talking about music & my band and my cousins i love it more than anything :')) <3

[snonkerdoodledreams]

although tbh I feel like a freak bc I don't have a romantic partner. Like. Everybody around me has rizz and social confidence to find someone they're close to and love...and I fuckin don't. I could blame it all on having a dysfunctional family and trauma and all that but the truth is that I have nobody but myself to blame. I feel like if I didn't see what other ppl have I'd feel better...so I wasn't reminded of what I. Don't. Have.

like...HOW? how the HELL did you find someone so fucking...genuine?!?! Loves you? Cares for you? All I want is to know that someone knows me inside and out but do you know how fucking scary that is?!

I feel like a freak. I want to die. I am such an abnormal piece of shit that I can't even find someone who loves me. I don't think I experience a lot of sexual attraction towards anybody but my celeb crushes. Maybe a girlfriend if I had one. Theoretically, I would want sex. But practically?

I don't know. The thought of a random person touching me makes my stomach turn. The thought of, realistically, even a favorite rockstar having sex with me makes my stomach turn (a little less, but I still feel scared)...don't take me srsly on this, guys. After all. What the fuck am I talking about? I'm a virgin...haha...

But back to the point...how do I find someone that I can love? Nobody. Fucking. Knows. Me. The only friends I have are from school but they all have different sets of friends...my mother would never let me have a bf and gf would prolly get me shunned by her (would she go so far to kick me out? Idk)

I don't have ppls number other than friends and if I do, they see me as a fuckin nerd who acts weird sometimes (comes out of shell. I'm a fuckin weird person.) Too scared to talk to anyone...see.

Other people have like. Social circles that they can talk to. They're the kind of people who, well, talk to others outside of a school setting. They talk on weekends maybe. Text a little. Relationship blossoms. They just. Hang out with other ppl outside of a professional environment.

And I don't. God forbid, heaven fucking forbid I ever do that...I just...don't?? I don't get ppl. I don't mesh with society. I don't know the latest gen z slang or TikTok trend or whatever. Don't know what they're talking about bc I don't pay attention to the stuff they're obsessed with. I don't get when ppl are being sarcastic sometimes...my jokes go over sideways most of the time. Even when I'm talking with my best friend we just talk about memes funny stuff or just rant. Not rlly that deep...I feel like I have different personalities depending on who I'm interacting with (DIFFERENT SIDES OF MYSELF. I ACT DIFFERENT I THINK DIFFERENT BUT IM STILL MYSELF ITS NOT DID I SWEAR). So it's impossible for anyone to get to know me. I'm the idiot who doesn't know what she's doing...one of my friends knows she can tell me anything and she has struggled with being left out a lot...and she told me about how she recently got included at something and it made her feel so great.

Am i overanalyzing things? Or have I really been floating on my own cloud for so long that I think being this way is normal? I don't think it is normal to feel the way I do...BUT I CANT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT I FEEL, I DONT HAVE THE FUCKING WORDS!!! And my fucking therapist will probably say that it's...all in my head? Nothing I need to worry about? Maybe ur just overcomplicating things, it's normal, blah blah blah. Cuz that's what my dad would say if I told him. I DONT HAVE THE WORDS BUT I KNOW I FEEL THIS WAY. JUST. DIFFERENT. NOT FITTING IN. NOT MESHING. NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE WITH FUKING NORMAL LIVES

I feel so different and I don't know who I am. Other ppl my literal fucking age have this shit figured out (I think) and start knowing other ppl. Loving them. Knowing the other person very well. Well enough to love them. Well enough to even have sex. Why can't I do that?

Oh. I know. I'm different. A freak. A leech who wants to mooch off love and never give it back. I feel like I take too much and never give back and my therapist says that "you're perfect the way you are" and I'm like "no bitch. NO IM NOT. IM A FUCKING FREAK THATS DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF FUCKING SOCIETY." (I feel like a mental case sometimes...bc I am dysfunctional human in fact that I don't do anything normally and have fucking madd, my paraself is better than me...)

Whenever I talk about having trauma and everything, I feel like a faker. Like I'm over exaggerating for clout and bc I did that, everyone believes me and when I say it feels like clout chasing, they say it's not. Everyone means my therapist and y'all. Clout means sympathy etc. I feel like a paraself who was more abused than I was is the one talking. I feel like a paraself, not my true self, whenever I talk about shit like this and tell myself "maybe you DO have that." I just. Feel fake.

tl;Dr: rant about not having romantic partner, wondering how everyone else does it, ranting that idk how to interact with ppl and I can't do it, that I'm different, feeling fake.

[ariespluto]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾  moon signs based on observations  ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

here are the moon signs based on my knowledge and the people i’ve seen and met from observations!

aries moon: play time, needs spontaneity. feels emotions intensely but too much stuffiness and theyll feel put off. funny and kinda aggressively jokes sometimes, independent on the inside. strong people.

taurus moon: COMFORT!! so cute. lives on comfy and pretty clothes, daydreams of romantic endeavours, very sweet and kind lovely people, and very loyal and committed romantic partners. but stubborn and gets frustrated easily- dont argue with them, very set on their ideas.

gemini moon: nErVoUS. overthinking. but also rlly cool. loves to ask questions, curious people, fun playful childlike energy, need to journal or needs to get out words and thoughts they internalise or else theyll explode. have cool style. many different interests. intellectual ppl.

cancer moon: empaths. the cliche crybaby i hate to admit it (unless afflicted by saturn), all ive known have been crybabies. stuck on the past, remembers everything. emotionally available, and bc of that sometimes gives their heart to the wrong people. just be nice to them pls. very nurturing homely energy around these people. wants children.

leo moon: give them compliments and affection please, they must be protected. needs recognition. kinda dramatic and fussy but its funny at the same time. funny people. have so much love, loves physical touch and affection, BIG hearted people. VERY generous.

virgo moon: very careful and articulated with thoughts or words. perfectionists and realists. gentle but can nitpick at details too much or become pessimistic if their criticism turns inwards and eventually spreads outward. witty and and a laid-back, lowkey energy, cool people and can be initially introverted. friends come to you for advice.

libra moon: yall pretty istg. indecisive, flirty or at least having multiple crushes on people, hopeless romantic and creative people. charming and knows how to charm people with words. people pleasing, pretty belongings, clothes, aesthetic is important to you.

scorpio moon: s e c r e t i v e emotions, or either oversharing. can be misunderstood by others and seen as intimidating. or just rlly intense and can feel consumed or overwhelmed with emotions but tries hides it with a cool face. going thru it the most. but very powerful people also, hold alot of power within them. just remember to not get too caught up in seeing only the negatives.

sagittarius moon: wants to travel and just go out explore. very funny, good at bouncing back from hard times, keeping things light, independent but sociable at same time. positivity! but also has a habit of hiding their sadness away with a happy face or by joking around to keep the mood light. doesnt really open up too much about dark shit too quick.

capricorn moon: honestly the sweetest ever once they trust you. holds alot of responsibility to an extent, always earning or has income of some sort, nags friends to go work. very stable friends for the long term and dependable and caring. so mature at a young age it kinda scares me.

aquarius moon: dissociation and detaching from people from time to time, but also really cool people, unique creative artists or musician type people. unique and interesting tastes + great minds. quiet and detached on the outside but actually very sweet and fond people on the inside. intellectual, progressive and humanitarian caring minds.

pisces moon: such a vibe goddamn, great music taste, and clothing taste. emotionally nurturing and understanding friends, so empathetic and emotional. always giving, spiritually in touch minded people, really creatively talented, biggest softies and probably talks to their plushies. but also ESCAPISM!! gets addicted to fantasy be careful of illusions/substances.

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

[urspaceprincess]

Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

have like a caramel colored skin-tone (i feel like saying im black may be easier but 🤷🏽‍♀️) and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair, im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape (but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. I could say i dress kinda “showy” but thats kinda what only fits me, but also who gives a fuck.

Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.

My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family

I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch

I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

the way i described myself was bad so here:

I Match you with….

Katsuki Bakugo

He has to be touching you constantly even if it’s just holding your hand or having his arm around your back

extremely protective of you( even tho he knows you can take care of yourself) he makes sure no one ever messes with you

He has a set schedule of what he does everyday so will 100% try & get you to have one

Makes a playlist for you both to share & add songs too!

likes it when it’s just the two of you but will occasionally want to go out with friends

fake arguments/insults all the time ( you both know you are joking )

definitely has you as his background on his phone but if you bring it up to him he will 100% change the subject

Compliments you whenever he can

wants you to be clingy with him because he won’t express that he wants you too be

soft boy on the inside:)

likes when you both come up with dates

loves loves loves to cook for you but won’t admit it & says that he might as well make a meal for 2:))

[freunwol]

one order of freunwol pls <3 i would like to hear Thoughts,

imagine just an absolute wall of emojis

- sO JUST. hair. i may be a little obsessed w hair as a symbol of affection but like. euns hair...soft. theres no doubt in my mind freud plays w it any chance he can get

- on that note, burying his face in euns hair is prolly heaven and it transports u to another dimension on the other side which actually gives me a fic idea fuck HOLD ON

you ever just get so sidetracked

- ANYWAY eun probably loves reading really bad romance novels, both to laugh at and also i just think hes a really romantic kind of guy YELLS

- freud...likely doesnt really know how to do romantic things, or be romantic, or anything of the sort, hes probably just confused like? for me? why? huh? hello?

- guh i hcd that freud like shoves down negative emotions and some positive ones cuz he feels like his only real purpose left is fighting bm and being some kind of hero, and the stuff he enjoys (books, knowledge, Friendship, etc) is gonna end up being ultimately aimless and he’ll wind up just existing for the rest of his life...canonically he tries to go around helping people but i feel like he wouldnt rlly be satisfied with it :(... and he tries to tell himself the same advice he gave to eun, that he has every reason to stick around and he can get through the tough times, but sometimes it rings hollow...

- UH. ABOUT THAT ADVICE i hcd that freud found eun like shivering and soaking wet in a pier town in the middle of winder and gave him his coat and the sun came out at just the right time and eun was like ‘holy shit theres a sun god and hes giving me a coat what the Fuck’ and then friendship ensued

- and the reason he was there was another hc that eun was basically raised (”””raised”””) by a pirate crew but got sick of it and swam to shore eventually, and proooobably wouldve died of hypothermia if freud wasnt there oops

- THIS ONES A LITTLE INCOMPATABLE WITH THE LAST ONE BUT i ALSO had a theory that eun used to be an assassin before he became a mercenary (essentially raised to be a killing machine), and cant really forgive himself for it, so the fact that freud was like ‘yeah but u cant blame urself for how u were raised’ probably like creeped him out at first but eventually he started to believe him especially after probably aran was like ‘damn that fuckin sucks sorry bro’

- whatever eun cant really confide in freud he probably tells aran, which he prolly ends up telling freud later anyway

- freud hugging eun was prolly the first time hed ever actually been hugged so u know ur boy broke the fuck down

- this ones close to canon but they like to watch the moonlight through the huge hole in freuds roof together...i do also think if they went to seoul world theyd sit on top of tall buildings and watch the streetlights below & the sunset and everything turn orange and pink and theyd talk about nothing for hours... ;u;

- eun doesnt really know how to handle having friends or just anyone who cares about him, and likely closes himself off at first because hes confused and kind of uncomfortable being around these people that pay attention to him and not for monetary gain or other selfish stuff... like what do you say? how are you supposed to react?

- oh i had a bunch of modern au hcs that i dont remember most of but i do know i hcd the whole group buying an apartment to live in and eventually they all get houses n shit but freud and eun prolly stay in that apartment for a while and everyone goes there to hang out anyway

- freud has euns contact saved as some inside joke and eun has freuds as his name with a red heart next to it which he is immensely embarassed by when aran finds out

guh i feel like i had more but im like mentally drained and im trying to sort through 5-6 years of interpretation in my head...get back to me in like a day or two and ill have more

[mx-sfthrs]

monsta x terms of endearment

this is just what i think but i am willing to debate

shownu:

to his s/o: just babe or their name

from his s/o: doesnt mind being called babe in passing, likes it when u call him baby in private

wonho:

to his s/o: honestly i dont even know he prob uses a different one every day jskskdk but when he greets them it's always "hi sweetie" and a short kiss

from his s/o: as long as it's something cute idt he cares, will blush if u call him baby boy

minhyuk:

to his s/o: says babe in passing just like . all the time lmao like ur name is babe now sorry but if he's feeling playful he'll call u sugar

from his s/o: very receptive to everything except one day u go overboard and call him sugar pie sweetie bunch and u still havent heard the end of it

kinhyun:

to his s/o: babe, sweetheart, love. the classics

from his s/o: rlly doesnt like it when u call him anything other than his name in front of people but in private he tries so hard to not smile when u casually throw in a "babe" or "honey" and fails every damn time

hyungwon:

to his s/o: strikes me as a darling and love kind of guy, keeps it classy

from his s/o: i think his s/o would have a cute personal pet name like from an inside joke or something

jooheon:

to his s/o: if yall have seen anything i written for jooheon u kno i have this thing where his s/o calls him honey (duh) and he calls them bee so . that's on that

from his s/o: honey, baby when he's being sulky

changkyun:

to his s/o: baby. that's it and u all know why

from his s/o: when yall first started dating u asked if he liked pet names and he gave a very casual "not really" but when you're lying together and he's nuzzled into your neck and your playing with his hair u cant see it but he smiles when u call him baby back

[phoenixfangs]

i got rlly butthurt abt that starlight comment so i went to that persons blog and the posts they reblogged abt mlp r full of cold takes so i went on an incoherent rant detailing y those ideas r wrong. rant under the cut, its v long and probably hard to read bc of my typing style// maybe ill come back and properly format it later

cold take 1: starlight couldve been a better character

no she couldnt unless we downplay her crimes or change her entire design. i dont care what her reason 4 forming a cult was, whether it be the stupid canon reason that her friend hit puberty and moved, or the stupid fanon idea that she never got a cutie mark and is resentful (i rlly hate this idea) LITERALLy if u want her to be a better character then dont redeem her. dont try to write a season-long arc of her trying to earn forgiveness from the village ponies bc her actions r beyond forgiveness. lets call a spade a spade: shes a monster who mutilated their bodies, minds, and hearts 4 her own stupid philosophy that she doesnt even believe in, and we dont even KNOW how long she was doing that or when the village was established. those ponies could have been in that cult 4 YEARS as far as we know--night glider herself admitted that the village was her home and that she couldnt/didnt want to move when given the chance, bc where else could she go? where else could any of them have gone? they explicitly say starlight targeted them bc they were vulnerable, or smthn to that effect. would YOU have a story abt a crazy abuser going back to their victims after who even knows how long of abusing them, and writing it so even one of them 4gives the abuser? would u write a story where the victims of jonestown 4gave jim jones? u wouldnt bc i expect u have at least 2 brain cells, and if u wouldnt, then i would hope u wouldnt like the idea of redeeming starlight at all, too. at this point in the series life, where weve seen all the redemptions and whos gotten them, i dont care abt the nuances of 4giveness, bc the writers and fans clearly dont when they have poor ideas and lack the skills to properly execute them. abusers and bullies dont deserve 4giveness, tyrants and fascists dont deserve 4giveness, terrorists dont deserve 4giveness, and the fact that diamond tiara, stygian, starlight glimmer, and tempest shadow ALL were anywhere between bullies or literal fucking terrorists, and they ALL got to be 4given and redeemed, while characters who have done way less heinous things (trixie and the flim flam brothers) r still treated with suspicion and distance by the main characters, is fucking disgusting to me. the only one ill give leeway to is diamond tiara bc even tho she was horrible to the cmc, she is just a kid and its possible to step back from bullying when ur that young. it rlly rlly isnt easy or possible to step back from mindfucking and mutilating an entire village of ponies bc ur bitter and entitled

cold take 2: cutie marks make no sense

less of a cold take and more of a gripe i have, bc they make perfectly fine sense to me. a cutie mark doesnt determine shit, its literally just a physical manifestation of what ur good at. rarity is good at finding gems, but her job isnt geology, its tailoring. rainbow dash is good at racing and being fast, but her job isnt initially stunt flying/racing with the wonderbolts, its weather duty in ponyville. in the later seasons when they start talking abt cutie marks being ur Destiny is when i admittidly start to get a little annoyed bc i dont personally believe in destiny or teaching kids that there is a predetermined path, but even still, u dont randomly get a cutie mark that determines what ur destiny is, u get a cutie mark that REFLECTS what ur desitny is. so no, a pony wouldnt get a random cutie mark of a computer 20 years b4 computers become available at home, AND THEN they discover thats what theyre talent/destiny is. cutie marks cant predict the future, theyre reactive to the individual. i dont understand how this is a confusing concept, even with the stupid destiny stuff thrown in

cold take 3: slice of life is the funniest episode of the series

no it fucking isnt JESUS the last roundup is the funniest episode, not bc of derpy, but bc of pinkie and raritys interactions. "rarity catch me" busts me up every fuckin time, as well as when pinkie and rarity r on the little handcar (hoofcar?) at the end and pinkie wont shut up and raritys like "when i get back, ur gonna GET IT rainbow dash". slice of life is a bunch of nothing and, wouldnt u know it, the best parts of the episode r the parts that include characters we actually KNOW (celestia and luna arguing over gifts, matildas anxieties, cadence consoling a crying shining armor at the wedding). even discounting the fact that the target demographic--kids, yknow, children and preteens--likely dont have forum accounts or the time/energy to scroll through those forums and wikis and blogs to understand all the inside jokes of the episode, its boring and kind of annoying if ur as disillusioned with the fandom as many ppl r, including myself. also lyra and bonbon werent confirmed stop projecting and giving praise where none is due. coy looks and 'best friends' sentiments dont mean shit, say explicitly that theyre girlfriends or wives and then give me a call

[huangfilms]

Prince!Chenle

summary: you’re a member of the royal family and I didn’t know and you ran into me in the village and I completely told you off oh my god || prince!au

(A/N) o-oh my god i’m back from the dead with some prince chenle hope u enjoy (im a lil rusty so leave me some feedback Please! also,,, its not proofread haha aslkdjfhals Please Spare Me)

okay so you live in the village

your mom told you prior that you need to just walk over to your grandma’s house and drop sumn off

and to get to her house, you have to cut into the uhhh

the place where all the store stands are

u know like the market place ish

and so your holding a lot of stuff in your arms and you just walk with your eyes on the floor, watching where you step

and you lift your head up at times so you can see if you’re ever going to bump into someone

guess what 

you rlly done goofed cause you Look Up and right as you do theres this body that collides with yours

and you drop

e v e r y t h i n g

then you just stop and you get rlly pissed off

you look up rly dramatically and slowly and you meet a pair of eyes that actually look a lil scared 

(ugh poor bby chenle im rlly srry)

‘are you serious??? were you just not paying attention??? do you seriously have no coordination on where you’re going??????’

and then you let out a huff and start to pick up your things and place them back in your basket

while you do that you’re just muttering to yourself, ‘GOSH my mom is literally going to whoop me if she finds out i dropped gma’s stuff’

and then you see the guy kneel in front of you and start to help

‘um...... i can do this by myself, you can go ahead and bump into someone else now’

and he just looks at you with this expression you cant read

then he slowly gets up

‘prince chenle, we need you back at the kingdom right away, your mother is asking for you.’

and then you freeze up

p-prince ????? w-what ????????

two plus tw o equals pie ??????

then you start to panic and you hurriedly place the rest of your stuff in the basket and Run

you just Run To Your gma’s house

but you hear a soft ‘wait!’ when you run but you just Cannot

you’re SOOOOO embarrassed and when you arrive at your gma’s house your face is RED

and your ears are all flushed and your gma asks whats wrong

‘i just told off the prince because he bumped into me-’

 in your defense he rlly didn’t look like a prince (wdym chenle ALWAYS looks like a prince smh)

he was wearing .... regular clothes so he Did Not Look Like A Prince

like,,,,,, yeah i dont know LOL

but then all your grandma does is LAUGH AT YOU

whats so funny??? blease omg hes gonna Have My Head omgomgomgsdhkjah

so your grandma just looks at you like you’re overreacting and says, “chenle is a nice boy!! he comes and visits me all the time sweetie.”

and then you freeze up because-

w hat ???? let me ??? move my ??? bang real quick ???

“grandma you what”

“chenle visits me all the time??? very nice boy, you’d like him !!”

and all she does is feed you then kick you outta the house to go home before it gets too dark

when you walk back your just rlly thinking ‘.... that happened huh ...’

AND THEN !!! you hear a lil yell of ‘hey!!’

and when you schnapp your head up you see the prince waving up at you with this Look on his face ???

so you just give him a weird glance and walk slowly towards him

“listen, about earlier i am so sor-”

“it’s fine !! hope you aren’t beating urself over it too much !! have a great evening ...?”

then u tell him ur name yadda yadda then he leaves and then ur like !!! haha what just happened !!!

so you go home and just sleep on it cause you kind of just dont want to think about it HAHA

so the next morning when you wake up your mom says to go to your gma’s again

just cause your gma wants to see you .. which is kind of odd

you only see your grandma during special occasions and when you drop things off

only because school/work has been taking a lot of your time

but just for your gma,,,,, you’ll visit her and forget the responsibilities for now

you walk there with confusion on your face because,,, although your grandma loves you, she doesn’t just spring on you and ask you to come over

so youre just curious about why she wants to see you (there isnt anything wrong with it !!! its just a lil odd)

when you arrive to her cottage you see this car outside and immediately become anxious

youre just treading slowly to the door, and then you raise your hand to knock,,, but youre hesitating A LOT

so time goes by (max. of like .. 5 minutes) and the door swings open to reveal your grandma

she puts you into a bone crushing hug, and then pulls you inside

“thank you for coming dear !! i want you to formally meet someone.”

and then you get SCARED scared

so when you turn to go into the living room, you nearly SCREAM

cause on the couch is mr prince chenle and you feel like one of the guards is going to strangle u with the glare they’re giving you

in your defense, you didnt Know ............ you told off the Prince .......

“chenle sweetie, this is my sweet grandchild i was telling you about !! they did tell me recently that you recently met.”

chenle blushes when he makes eye contact but you rlly dont now why cause You Told Him Off and thats rlly all you can think about HAHA

BUT in reality chenle isnt too bothered by that cause you didn’t immediately treat him like a Prince, you treated him like a regular person (albeit a lil ... Yikes)

and he actually thinks that you are the most gorgeous being in the World !! mayhaps lil prince even has a tiny crush on you !!!

when you Formally Introduce urself to him

ur grandma hits u w that, “sweetie can u help me n chenle garden some things !!”

and then she gestures u both to follow her in her backyard

she tells the guards to make themselves feel at home and leave out like lemonade or sumn

so you and chenle are just super awkward at first cause you dont know how to break the tension

also all you can think about once again: was that u rlly told him off

but then chenle starts to laugh really loudly at a joke your grandma says and then you just-

YOU WANT TO COO !! cause even tho his laugh is Super Loud, you find it endearing that he’s just letting loose like this

he catches you staring tho and he stops and he Blushes Again and you want to !!! squish !! 

who doesnt want to squish chenle he’s literally such an angel and hes so adorable ugh i lov baby

so you both just start talking more and then by the end of the day you guys are just best buddies

you forget hes the prince too

but then u walk in to see the guards and ur all lik e... righ t...

its ok tho !! chenle is a person too !!

and honestly you guys make this a regular thing

you and chenle go to ur gmas house to garden every day or when you guys have the time

and essentially its just you guys pulling out weeds while talking about new and exciting things that happened to you recently

and your grandma just watches you guys get along and her heart is happy

cause chenle sometimes talks to her about him not making friends cause they always use him for his status

and so ur gma knows u arent like that and shes just really happy to see the two of you get along really well

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months !! and you guys become really really close friends

some feelings develop too or .. whatever ..

but you dont acknowledge them cause youre just a person who lives in the viliage while hes a prince

chenle does though

and hes so shy about it that he blushes everytime you say his name or just smile at him

cause his heart goes !!!!!

he rlly likes you

and u rlly like him but u just dont know !!!

ye wutevr its 2018 and status rlly shouldnt matter but ur just rlly conscious about being judged and stuff

like even if u started to date him would his parents accept you

and then u snap out of ur thoughts cause chenle looks worried and you havent answered his question

haha he asked a question ???

‘you want to hang out with me tomorrow?? thats not gardening?? i-i mean its ok to say no haha i love gardening with you i just wanted to know if y-you wanted to try something new with me? i-i understand if you want to say no-’

‘chenle, sweetheart, breathe,’

and then he Blushes cause oh they just called me sweetheart and he just breathes

then you say you would love to !!! 

and ur gma is just watching the Entire Thing with the guards

with popcorn and tea

and its literally the cutest little exchange ever cause youre both just blushing and red

so when tomorrow comes

chenle meets u at ur gmas house

and so like he holds his hand out for you to take and ur just !! heart into overdrive !!!

and then !!! he takes you to this ice skating rink cause youve mentioned before that you havent been

and he rented out the whole place so people wouldnt be bothering you two

and hes just nervous and so are you but since ur dont know how to skate youre just clinging to him for dear life

and hes such a blushing mess omg

the guards are just cooing at the both of you, some even join you on the ice

and you guys are just cracking jokes and having such a good time

there was a time where one of the guards fell on their ass and u two couldnt stop laughing

then chenle falls but since youre holding onto him you fall down too oops

and so ur just kinda ... laying down on him awkwardly and your guys’ faces are so CLOSE

but then you clear your throat and then you jump off of him

it gets kind of late and the guards are just like, “hate to break this cute and adorable moment, but your momma is calling you to be home prince”

and so chenle just blushes and gets up first, then holds his hand out again to help you up

it makes you sad when he has to leave, but he drops you off at home

when he does, he walks you to your door and then he says goodbye, but before he leaves

you feel a little bold and you kiss him on the cheek !!! so cute !!! cause then hes just RED ! and hes so flustured and he just waves bye and when he gets into his car

he just clutches his chest and has this big smile on his face and hes just so in awe

and the guards are teasing him but he really Does Not Care cause you just did : THAT 

you kissed him on the cheek and hes so !!! about it

but you guys go out more often after this

and sometimes is just to hang out with your gma cause chenle has grown to love her HAHA

its become a thing where you kiss him on the cheek goodbye

wow cute

one day though, hes saying bye and hes looking away while youre about to kiss his cheek

but then he remembers he needs to tell you something

so right as your lips are about to kiss his cheek

his head turns and you two share a lil innocent peck

AND YOURE BOTH BLUSHING WOW

AND THE GUARDS ARE SO !!!! 

o-ohmy gosh im so kilig you guys

CHENLE IS SO FLUSTURED THAT HE FORGETS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL YOU

oh right he was about to CONFESS confess but like

ur flustered too so u rush out a goodbye and you LEAVE

and chenle is just !!!! ok ill tell them tomorrow !!!!

well tomorrow comes

and you dont show up

ur gma tells him that u’ve been exhausted cause of school, theyll probs be back tomorrow

so then he comes back tomorrow

and you arent there again

and this goes on for like a week

and he just Knows ur avoiding him

but like hes so fed up because he has been Waiting for the Right Time to confess to you

and so he goes over to ur house and then knocks

you answer the door and then your eyes grow wide and then u shut the door again

but chenle pushes it open and just “WAIT”

and so you just slowly open the door

“why have you been avoiding me??”

and ur just speechless cause haha avoiding you ?? why would i do that ???

and he gives you This Look 

and then ur all like ... “OKAY !!! so ive been avoiding you .... what about it..”

and he just sighs and hes all serious and ur all !! cause chenle is barely serious alsdkf

“Listen,,, i really like you,”

you pause and you just look at him before grinning

“i really like you too chenle!!”

and he just looks Frustrated cause he thinks you arent getting it

“more than a friend way!!!”

and then you start to smile and ur all like .. “the feeling is mutual bub !”

and now HES pausing cause w-what

m-marty

but then you just hug him tightly and tell him how much you really like him !!!

and he goes !!!! oh my gosh !!!! 

then you guys are just looking at each other and you really do forget that there are other people around you and he kisses you !!! wow !!! 

please spare me ive never had my first kiss before HASKDJFHASD

BUT ANYWHO

you guys are always together now !! and he even lets you meet his parents and they immediately: love you

you basically hang around him a lot and when he says he has to do sum prince duties ur all like ... huh ... i forget ur a prince LMFOAJFH

but everything is good everything is well !!!

youre just content with what you have with chenle even tho u started off a lil rocky

you just !!! like him so much !!! life is good hehe

anway end !!! prince chenle: cutest lil headcannon but chenle is ALREADY a prince !!!

Masterlist

[nocvil]

*            ‐            ․            ↺            𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . .  ｓｏｏ ｂｏｇｕｍ . hitman        .        caretaker        .        the heel        .        a masked hell        .

❝   my love     ,     my love     ,     my love     ,     won't you stay a while     ?   ❞

possible tw’s below: parental death mention, illness mentions, murder for hire mentions, and uh m,,, i think that’s it rlly. just warning ok.

GENERAL INFO

full name: soo bogum ( 수 보검 ). nickname(s): bo, sweetie pie to his mother (: gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him. sexual & romantic orientation: aromantic, demisexual. age & dob: twenty-five, november 8th, 19-- birthplace/hometown: seoul, sk. parents/siblings: only child, deceased father, living mother. pet(s): absolutely not LOL. astrological sign: scorpio. >:-) dominant hand: both! handwriting style: mostly writes in very slanted cursive. i feel like when you see things like royal documents signed or very important letters written back in the day with that vintage cursive ... that would be bogum. language(s) known/spoken: spanish, english, korean. religion: LOL. ok. current living arrangements: a two-bedroom, two bath apartment complex with his older, npc mother. it is pretty spacious given they both have their own room, a kitchen, dining space, their own bathrooms, and a patio. bo has the money if you kno what i mean ... (: occupation/major: hitman.

PHYSICAL

picture reference: uhh... this? this look rlly gives off bogum vibes so (: blood type: type O. nationality: korean. skin tone/color: lighter tanned. birthmarks & scars: heheh wouldn’t u like to kno ??? height: five-foot ten inches. 5′10″. build: pretty average, more on the lean/athletic side though. hair color: red. hair length: uhm ,, look at reference photo? eye color: brown. diet: uhm ... bo has a pretty average diet probably. he would eat just about anything, not very picky. i think he probably has his favorites when it comes to chips and candy but he doesn’t have a special diet. exercise & level of fitness: LOOOL. let me not make a bad joke here ): how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: bogum probably has really good posture! i think standing tall with a straight back probably adds to his uh... authoritative look?  typical style of dress: ( from his stats page ) dresses a bit old school, vintage?, almost plain. likes wearing tucked in and cuffed shirts, rolled up pants, boots, baseball caps, at least three rings on one hand, gold bracelets. the following outfits aren’t specific to him but they are probably kinda similar. it’s hard to rlly find exact examples ): (  1  /  2  /  3  /  4  ) body modifications: none, surprisingly. probably pierced ears that he never puts earrings in. that’s really it though. he would prob like a tattoos but wouldn’t do it for the sake of his career ( because tattoos are distinguishing features ).

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: def with a bit of power in his step. very protective when he is with his mother. mostly, he would walk like he calculates every single step he takes. how does your muse talk?: HAHA i just talked about this with myungok’s mun ,, he would talk very plain and probably without a lot of emotion. this would make things that are usually out of pocket probably sound kinda weird.  what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: he is from seoul and according to google, they speak with a gyeonggi dialect there (: how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: QUIET... shh... if you speak too loud you won’t hear bogum speaking with such monotoned you could probably fall asleep. bogum asmr when?  what does their laugh sound like?: bogum? LAUGHING? i feel like bogum chuckles. so he would have like a short, quiet laugh. how does your muse typically smell?: either like smoke from a cigarette or like his mom’s perfume. what kind of air do they carry?: well jinae’s mun said he would have a dark and heavy presence and honestly that rlly fits the bill. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: time to die. what are their nervous ticks?: um.. not sure. probably knuckle cracking and finger tapping.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: his mommy! seeing his mom thrive and gain her confidence back, even momentarily, makes him so happy. what upsets them the most?: ugh. listen. i talked abt this with some of y’all but the thought that if he ever got exposed or arrested ... how everyone in his life, including his mother, would just abandon him ... CRIES. was this supposed to be a general question? does your muse have any quirks?: i think his tendency to just be way too lax in certain situations would be his infamous quirk. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: bogum is definitely a simple man. he would totally like puzzles, word searches, watching the news, scrapbooking ( YES, SCRAPBOOKING ), taking walks, shopping with his mom, writing, idk, he doesn’t do anything OD or over the top. shrug. do they have any guilty pleasures?: is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: 10000% introverted otl. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: uhm... bogum probably has an average amount of confidence/self-esteem. he’s a realist, definitely. if he look ugly he look ugly. if he look good he look good. ‘nuff said. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: stressed? bogum could be in the midst of a bank robbery and be sitting there like ok, y’all done yet? what is your muses worst fear?: his mother finding out about his job. what is your muses biggest dream?: to either escape his job for good or to be able to heal his mother of all her injuries and illnesses. but of course, neither of those will ever happen! is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: a night dragon? ok. anyway he is probably both. i can see bogum getting like four hours of sleep and waking up like (: let’s fuckin go! how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: OH BOGUM has street smarts but definitely probably not book smarts. at least, not a great amount of book smarts. how can he be a hitman if he’s DUMM?! describe their sense of humor: LMAO. the real question is how can someone as funny as ME play someone as BORING as bogum?

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: HELL NO. luuuul. what is their experience with relationships?: to really think about it, bo probably had feelings for people here and there and most likely dated short term in high school but after he moved and began doing that he kind of lost all his effort to pursue romance. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: another hell naw to that sis. how important is sex to your muse?: not important at all. bogum could care less. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: see above pls. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: i say yes, only because most of his friends are through his mother. how important is friendship to them?: veRY IMPORTANT if bogum didn’t have the friends he has today, he probably would be a lot more sad and maybe more than just a hitman ): quantity or quality of friends?: quality! how important is family?: VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN bogum would give his life for his mother and to have his father back. are they close to their family? why or why not ?: YES. obviously asdfasdf everyone probably knows why. although bogum is now the one who runs the house, he still really values his mother because she ultimately has nobody but him in the end if she gets worse. his parents were always really good to him and when his father died, he knew that he and his mother had to stick together through it. he also knew that that he had to step up to provide for his mother because of her injuries and dementia. she is his life, really.

FAVORITES

activity: haha. you really wanna kno?... he likes word searches a lot. animal: idk. probably like. idk.  beverage: mmmm some piping hot tea. book: - color: is red cliche to say? designer: - food:  flower:  water lilies, pansies, lilies, peonies, idk, he would love all kinds of flowers. gem: i googled these. if he had a favorite it would be garnet, smoked topaz, and morion. holiday: christmas! his mother’s favorite too, probably. mode of transportation: walking, usually. movie: -  musical artist: oh boy, uhm,, i bet bogum likes indie kpop. like dean, suran, hyukoh, but i dont rlly know a lot to give you more details. quote / saying: - scenery: hm. probably night time in the living room, mom is put to bed already, he’s watching a rerun episode of a crime drama on television and thinking about how it’s so unrealistic. he’s got a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other though he puts it out halfway through because he loses interest. (: scent: i think he’d like the smell of cleaning products, flower scents ( bc it would remind him of his mom ), and metal (: obviously. weather: cloudy or rainy weather. anything that let’s him stay inside for the day. vacation destination: UM. i bet bogum would like to travel out of country to places like europe.

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: to finally have a peaceful life with his mother by his side, healthy or not. he wants to stop being a hitman, really, but it’s kind of like an addiction, plus he’s good at it, and it brings in the bacon. greatest fear: being caught and leaving his mother by herself -- it would be like the ultimate let down since he doesn’t trust anyone with her. most at east when: pls see scenery in section above. least as ease when: out in public by himself. he doesn’t have his mom as his cover. worst possible thing that could happen: PLS SEE GREATEST FEAR. ajdfkjasdfskf biggest achievement: moving to seoul safely with his mom! biggest regret: falling back into the crime life. most embarrassing moment: idk i feel like bogum isn’t embarrassing. he’s too ,, plain. biggest secret: LMAO well ... i think we all know. top priorities: keeping his mom safe, alive, healthy, and her bills paid for. also keeping himself undercover for the most part and making sure neither him or his mother are overwhelmed.

EXTRA TIDBITS

001. bogum is an unhealthy smoker but a social drinker. he never smokes around his mother though.

002. whenever bogum’s mother is around, he is on his own best behavior. he always does his best to be nice and keep up an image of her sweet son although by himself he can be different.

003. so far the only person who knows about his job is sangwoo because he sort of saw him in the act during his first hit. the two joke about it but bogum would take him out in a heartbeat if he spills.

004. i think it’s funny because i always pictured bogum as that person would give the shirt off of his back for you if you were in trouble. but he also wouldn’t hesitate to threaten to make you disappear.

005. his mom doesn’t know how he gets the money to pay for everything but bogum has her believing he “has his ways” and to “just trust him” although she asks about it every now and then.

006. though he stays inside a lot, some of the places you might see bogum outside of his apartment, are grocery stores close to his place, bars around town, museums, little cafes picking up things for his mother, dawon’s flower shop, and very occasionally places where there are a lot of drug activity.

007. here is smth: bogum is a hitman because his father was killed in a hit!

008. despite his mom questioning where he earns his money, his family has always been pretty well off but that was because of his father. so now that his father isn’t alive, it’s kind of ... fishy.

009. lmao probably your very typical scorpio minus the s*xual stuff.

010. my brain stopped working.

AESTHETICS

a card hand full of royals. empty, dark hospital hallways. dirty hands under black leather gloves. an empty, lonely wheelchair. old black and white photographs. an ashtray full of half smoked cigarettes. ripped up diary pages. rolled up fifty dollar bills. two expensive rings on each finger. responding “k” to a paragraph long text message. tri-folded letters written in the upmost calligraphy. roman numeral clocks.

[moonchildhcs]

parkchan hcs

hi kids uwu

in retaliation to miss parker dae’s decision to write some persimin im writing some parkchan so bring it on, bitch boy

how do yall meet ?? its because u were both at the park uwu

u and persi were playing on the swings and oru boy bang chan arrived with his kids and !! he might be the leader but he Wants The Swings !!! but persi is in their own world so you, being a Kind Person (not because hes super cute or anything) gave up ur swing for him and decided to play on the monkey bars instead

and it goes like this for a few hours !! its u, persi, and the boys playing around the park and having the time of ur lives !!! but then the ice cream truck comes and chan, not forgetting that you gave up ur prized swing for him, went over and bought u both some !!! and its the expensive soft serve ice cream too and ur like BITCH WAIT LEMME PAY U BACK

and hes like no !! u gave up ur swing for me !! im repaying u for ur kindness

persi and the kids in the background: huehuehue lovebirds

anyways u two playfully bicker about who owes who (chan insists ur both equal but u insist u owe him) before it gets really,,,, really dark our and u all have to head home and chan, smooth as hecking EVER, says he needs ur number so yall can settle this matter later and who are u to deny this hot guy with a cute accent ??? so u give him ur number and ur like “i WILL repay u”

and he gives u the cutest grin and is like “sure you will ! its a date” and he leaves and u fucking SCREAM

and he keeps u to it yall go on an ice cream date later and u treat this time !! tho he did try to sneakily pay when u left for the bathroom but you caught him in the act and he just,,, walks back to his seat and ur like :^) before paying for the two of you !!

also yall take some cute pics but he insists on having his mask on (you think its for the fashion but its bc he doesnt want to get caught by dispatch oopsies)

and this becomes a monthly thing !! you guys go out to a new ice cream place and try different flavors and stuff once a month as a date but also yall enjoy going on different kinds of dates as well :^)

such as exploring !!! chan told you his job sometimes forces him to stay up rlly late and ur like :( oh no bb but then hes like BUT LETS GO ON A NIGHT ADVENTURE and ur like oh HECK yeah !!! and you guys explore the city at night

also u both speak english and korean so sometimes yall just,, randomly switch between the two in the middle of ur sentences ! anyways uwu

this is maybe three months?? after yall started going on dates and yall are stargazing from the rooftop of the tallest building there is in the area and ur eyes are sparkling, looking at the sky as some soft music plays from ur playlist

and chan just blurts out an “i love you” and you whip your head because !!! holy shit !! and hes like “please, please be my girlfriend” and ur like omg YES !!!

and thats how yall start dating !! but he feels guilty bc hes assumed that u dont know that hes an idol and he calls you and hes like “ive been keeping a secret from you” and ur like “ur an idol? dw i been knew but ur a person before u r an idol !! it changes nothing between us” and his heart hecking BURSTS with his love for you bc !! u dont care abt his career u care about him primarily and he just LOVES YOU

anyways now that yall are an Established Couple lets explore the dynamics shall we?

tbh yall are just big hecking softies !!! yall love to stay in and cuddle because chan is a busybody and can be,, tired especially with promotions so sometimes yall just put on a nice movie or some cool tunes and,, cuddle with a bunch of blankets and stuff

and its rlly cute and wholesome and just,,, uwu

as mentioned yalls continue your ice cream dates !! its a tradition and even if he goes overseas yall just facetime each other and go out to an ice cream place and c o n s u m e !!!! its rlly cute actually and after a while yall settle on One ice cream place that not only has really good ice cream but is also not that busy so chan doesnt have to wear his mask inside !!!

hes five inches taller than you which is Optimal for forehead kisses !!! he just Smooch you all the time !! also loves smooching ur nose he thinks u have a v cute boopable nose !!! he just rlly loves showering u with affection

also he loves to be big spoon !!! he just likes emphasizing that he is bigger than you its fun and to him its very cute, especially when u get frustrated and ur like “IM NOT SHORT” and hes like aha, tell that to our height difference :)

also yall have made eachother so many playlists before and sometimes its a lil bit spicy to indicate that yall find each other Hot but mostly its just rlly cute, meaningful playlists that have made eachother cry

also you BETTER believe this sappy boy has made you more than one song !!! he just lovessss you and he subtly mentions u with nicknames and variations of spider man and ur like (O//W//O) bc thats so hecking cute and meaningful !!

also he better believe ur his number one supporter !! uve got all the merch (but also eventually he finds out that despite being ur bf ur bias is hyunjin and he pouts for a week straight lol)

also u steal so much of his clothing that at one point hes like “parker.. please return my shirts i have nothing but pants to wear” and ur like “oh my god bet?” jokes jokes but im sure the view would be nice oopsies

u dont say it but u love his accent a lot u think its rlly cute (and a lil hot) and he doesnt notice it at first but eventually he notices the dreamy look on ur face when he speaks english and hes like oh? is that what i think it is? and he goes out of his way to speak english from then on and ur like BITCH but also KEEP TALKING

u guys have some lowkey couples clothing but the most blatant is a matching necklace !! it has a sunflower charm on it and its rlly cute :)

anyways bitch lets get onto that hecking SPICEEEEE

u saw the babygirl broadcast. the og broadcast with the pic. and once that live was over u texted him like :^) babygirl huh?

and hes like,,,, oops !

but this prompted a discussion abt kinks between yall and he was like ,, i cant call u babygirl because imma have to call my fans that now to cover for myself but,,, a daddy kink,,, whew chile !

later that day he comes over to ur house and fucks you into the mattress as u scream daddy into the pillow! and dont worry; he calls u princess instead :)

he likes tying you up with these rlly nice silk ribbons !! especially these baby pink ones he thinks u look rlly cute with baby pink :^)

hes not into ageplay of course he thinks thats fucking weird but he likes being called daddy and sometimes when u want to be a brat ull lean into him in public and call him daddy and hes like Wait Till We Get Home and ur rlly in for it with then bc then ur getting it especially rough that day he doesnt give a FUCK

but semi-public spaces are a no go hes got an image to maintain and a career at risk so its strictly at ur place but the absolute tension between yall as yall approach ur place is palpable like... hes rlly intense

also sometimes hes rlly into producing music so sometimes ull be in his Producing Room with him and ur just,, rlly horny but hes like Im Sorry I Have To Work so u get off by riding his thigh and ur like NICE but hes like,,, fuck thats hot and so he takes a break from producing and instead fucks you in the recording room since its soundproof :^)

anyways yall are spicy oof the flavor !

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.