#this is kind of a rant/venting my thoughts low key

[sanasanakun]

As someone who’s played all the COD games and loved the series despite its super obvious flaws, I really am curious how Activision will take the phenomenon around Ghost. Obviously, Ghost has always been popular amongst the COD fandom, but he’s reached a new massive, outside appeal. Specifically, his relationship with Soap is a very big part of that appeal. They’ve been shipped together for fucking years, but not to this extent. I guess what I’m wondering is like …would Activision actually do it? Would they make them boyfriends? Or at least like pine for each other?

I really struggle with knowing because on one hand I could see them doing it even if it’s still niche. On the other, they absolutely would never do that because it would alienate their dude bro fanbase. But like … I don’t fucking know lmao because it’s super plausible that Ghost and Soap could like each other romantically.

Like their interactions indicate a closeness that both don’t share with anyone else. And yeah sure, they could just be besties (which they currently canonically kind of are), or they could just be brothers in arms (which they also are). But there definitely is room for something there that reads as distinctively “not straight” if that makes sense? And I’m a fucking diehard GhostRoach shipper from like a billion years ago when the OG mw2 came out, so if I’m saying this then maybe it really is possible lmao

But really the truth probably just is I’m gay and I want to see myself in my silly little military men in my silly little military game because I’ve loved those little military men so much since I was like 10 😭

[ragnarokhound]

omg sweetie pie don’t talk about chains I’ll BLUSH. definitely never been into that…

How do you think the rest of the Batfam reacts to Jaytim finally happening (something along the lines of your secretary fic) ?

I think Cass knew how they felt before them, Damian is disgusted (but secretly pleased), Dick found out by walking in on them at Tim’s apartment, and Bruce had no idea and has none until Jason tells him point blank. Alfred? Somehow orchestrated the whole thing.

I'll keep that in mind babe ;) (*adds 'Spicy Hardware' to the budget)

Ohoho, that is a fun question, and one that I often have trouble answering because I am like a horse with blinders on when it comes to my hyperfixations and my ships OTL Jason and Tim usually get the brunt of my obsessive analysis, leaving only minimal room for other characters to squeeze their way in. RIPeroni you two ❤️

That being said, I'm a huge liar because I do actually have some Thoughts lol

It largely depends on the state of the verse we're in and how involved the others were in watching their courtship go down, so without further adieu, here's how I think the batfam would react to finding out about jaytim's newly minted relationship in my secretary!au fic:

So in Secretary!AU in particular, the others weren't involved to an almost suspicious degree 😳 Tim is losing his mind for a month over Jason daylighting as his secretary, and he never finds out anything resembling the truth from anyone? What??

Which of course means some of them were simply unaware because they don't give a shit or assume Tim isn't suffering (Damian, Duke, Bruce) and some ARE aware to some degree that this is unusual and came to their own conclusions. And promptly decided to stay out of it (Dick, Babs, Steph, Cass, Alfred - Duke might actually be here, it depends lol)

In particular, Steph hears Tim's mini rant/breakdown Day 1 and is simply too amused. Because she watched him suddenly start deflecting Jason's attention 3 months ago, and oh boy does this feel like a comeuppance. She's got popcorn and is asking things like, 'i dunno Tim, why do you think Jason followed you to the office where you have to reliably be?' and after all of it, when he shows up with a hickey after patrolling with Jason that night, she golf claps at him

Cass shrugs at Tim when he vents where she can hear, because she's been waiting for them to figure this out for like. A year now. She is surprised when Tim had his Jason-shaped epiphany because she knows that Tim has been Into Jason ever since that time in the park with Poison Ivy, and Jason called him a princess for getting particular about decon. (Similarly, Cass also knew that Jason has been low-key into Tim since the time before that, when Tim ugly laughed so hard at a joke Jason made at Dick's expense that he nearly inhaled a french fry). When they get together, she is standing next to Steph, also golf clapping because Steph told her it would be funny

Dick had to listen to Jason complain about Tim ghosting him a month or two into it (Jason and Dick were in each other's vicinity and Jason asked how Tim was doing. Dick said he was 'fine, why?' And Jason scowled and muttered, 'No reason. Feel like he's been dodging me, is all' and a tiny red alert pinged in the back of Dick's head) so when he hears that Jason is at Wayne Tower and that Tim is having vent sessions about it with Steph, his eyebrows shoot waaaay up. He kind of hopes that the Tower is still standing after Jason's done getting whatever vengeance he has in mind (Jason's prank war game is both legendary and unhinged). When he finds out what actually transpires (or rather, guesses what transpired), he has a small moment of relief because 'oh phew, is that all?' and then immediately BSODs because 'WAIT WHAT, IS THAT WHY YOU GUYS ARE CLAPPING--'

Babs quietly figured out why Tim was panicking pretty early because no one ghosts someone for having a good, fun, tbh flirty relationship for literally any other reason. She wondered vaguely if Jason was going to a) clock it and then b) do anything about it, and then equally quietly paused auto-uploads on Wayne Tower office footage so that she could make Tim review it instead. She simply Will Not be the one to log the data from Monday morning, thanks.

Damian did not and does not give a fuck. He briefly questions Todd's sanity. Then immediately discards that thought because it's Todd. He would like Grayson to quit yelling at that octave though, because his 'i'm secretly happy for you but also hurt that you didn't confide in me' shouting is very grating and makes Damian nervous.

Duke I'm on the fence about, but I lean towards 'i was sitting over on the bench' for him. He was so busy Staying In His Lane that he simply did not notice that this was happening. 'Uh, congrats, I guess?'

Bruce was keeping tabs on the situation. He does not plan to review the footage either. He has ten more gray hairs than he did yesterday, and is pondering how their relationship might affect their performance in the field, but trusts that Tim has likely thought through the ramifications and likely scenarios that should need to be compensated for. (Being involved with your teammate can be frightening and stressful; it could lead to strain between the two of you, and opens new vulnerabilities up for exploitation. But it can also be deeply, deeply rewarding. Hm.) (also shout-out to the one commenter who theorized that Bruce was the one on the other end of the phone call that Jason yanked the cord on. LMAO. ROFL, even.)

Alfred defuses the tension in the cave by reminding everyone to please finish their reports, and that there are refreshments in the dining room upstairs when they are finished, should anyone be joining the household for dinner tonight. He is very pointedly looking at Jason and Tim when he says this, because they Will be joining the household for dinner tonight, because it is the duty and privilege of a grandfather to tease his grandson (Jason) for having a boyfriend (Tim). Idk if Alfred called it in quite the same way as Cass, but he knew there was something interpersonal they needed to work out, and also that Tim has had a crush on Robin for his Entire Life, so he's not exactly surprised.

...aaaand sorry if I skipped anyone, but that's my list lol

[heavenlyraindrops]

Rain’s love rant

alright, here goes.

I’m cooked. I’m completely and utterly cooked. I feel like I need to share all this cause each detail is something I need to talk about and it’s driving me insane.

Last year of school I met this girl, let’s call her Crystal, through mutual friends. Basically what happened was I annoyed the shit out of her and was so utterly obnoxious, she thought I was a bitch- but for some reason eventually she ended up finding me endearing and we became really close friends.

we talked all the time. We shared everything. We’d walk away from our group at the table during lunch and wander around the campus together. We both liked other people at the time, she liked a girl that I was on kind of bad terms with- and it pissed me to no end because this girl sort of mistreated me, and her friends alienated me from the school community (it was pretty tight-knit) because I was “weird” (I’m autistic) and I vented about this to crystal, MULTIPLE times but Crystal straight up just ignored it. But to be honest, those girls and Sea are genuinely nice when they can be and although it sounds bad (I cried for nights in a row) I think it couldn’t really be helped and there isn’t much resentment anymore, although we’d still never be friends.

Crystal’s affection for Sea fizzled out, and I got the sense that she liked someone else cause there was a strange period of our friendship like this- turned out that person was me. (More on that later.)

She ended up liking another girl- let’s call her Petal. Petal’s a total bitch. Like she just straight up is. There’s nothing to it other than that.

I started liking Crystal after she liked Petal, although I didn’t realize how much I liked her until, well, uh. Yesterday. She and Petal got together, and I was like “omg! So cute!” But I was low-key jealous and didn’t even realize it, and then Petal tried to drag her away and made her join Petal’s friend group, which were the girls in my primary, Sea and all them. I was insanely angry, jealous, sad, everything. She kept talking about Petal, calling Petal the love of her life, and it broke my heart because id always tried to be there for Crystal, advice, venting, comforting, everything. And now she was leaving me and all my friends for Petal, who, as far as I knew, was uhhhhhh let me think- oh! Pretty.

Shit went down, another bitch (Quartz) in my friend group pulled some shit (whole other story) and said me and my friends were talking shit about Crystal, Petal and Sea when we weren’t- it was all Quartz. Me and Crystal had a huge argument over text and I tried to make her see the truth and she said “I don’t know who the fuck is lying” and then “I have the whole weekend to decide.” (She also told me during this argument that she used to like me and when I asked her why she said I was funny, pretty, smart, good at drawing. First time someone’s been clear about what they like about me, something that shows they actually do, and I started crying.)

whole weekend? Fuck, we didn’t speak for the next few MONTHS after that. It was clear she had chosen Quartz and Petal. I literally cried for nights in a row (again). My fucking principal saw me crying outside the school on School Movie Night. And the whole time I was hoping she’d come back. Eventually I realized that she missed me too.

anyway, fast forward to this week, Monday, bank holiday. I turn on my phone and there’s a huge paragraph from Crystal after months of nothing. Her saying that she’s sorry her gf got in the way of our friendship, that she really wanted to be on good terms with me again, that she missed me. So we did.

we both admitted our mistakes and we both felt really bad that we ended up on bad terms for a while and admitted we missed each other, and honestly I was so happy. I think she was too cause she started crying 😭

the next day we saw each other in school, we hugged, made it up, walked around and talked like we used to. Hugging her felt so good. Sometimes she’s walking around with her friends, with Petal clinging to her arm like she always is, then we both share a look and we both smile at each other it was amazing. I cut my hair off this week too and when Sea and her friends came over to talk to Quartz (who hates Sea and Petal btw) Crystal was standing behind them next to Petal and she didn’t look at Petal, she looked at ME, pointed at her head, mouthed “haircut” or smth idk and smiled and I nodded really giddily and oh god. Then Petal just stared at us both.

Our school had our sports day yesterday, she texted me like “I was gonna come over and talk to you but I couldn’t” and it made me happy but broke my heart at the same time.

I talked about it with my friends and they said it was kind of obvious, how jealous and angry I’d gotten when she’d left our group. They said it wasn’t my fault I liked Crystal.

I could go on and on forever about her. She’s so fucking beautiful- I think I’m genuinely in love which is insane for someone my age but I truly like her, I’ve liked her for so so long without realizing it and now I’ve lost her to Petal and I wanna cry. I like everything about her, even her flaws, the good and the bad, and yes I do want her to be happy but can’t she be happy with me?

I feel really guilty too, especially when I look at her and Petal and realize how happy they are together. I wish I was like Petal honestly, Petal is so pretty and cute and just straight up adorable. And I know I shouldn’t be coveting thy neighbours wife, but I can’t help it. But it’s ok if I liked her before she got with Petal right? 😭😭

I hate this.

ok vent over bye besties

[eviltiddyprodnz]

so I ended up starting Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon recently because I saw a pretty cute edit on Instagram and thought why not.

y’all I wanted to be a part of the fun SO BAD but either I’ve lost my ITV tolerance and need to build it again or I’m just failing to connect with the show…

I’m on Season 3 (for some reason Hotstar divides the same show into the like 9 seasons 💀) and it feels like we haven’t moved at all. we’re moving at the pace of a tortoise and the thing is I’m aware of the spoilers so I keep waiting for something to happen, something to start and nothing does. In fact, I’ve realised that there’s still a very VERY long way to go before things get remotely cute 😭

I’m at the part where Shyam is beginning his psycho era and has paralysed Khushi’s bauji. Arnav is nicer to Khushi but like most shows I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s kind of the only thing that has me going but since I know it’s going to turn soon I’m kinda losing interest which is CRAZY because guys I actually sat through the entirety of Ishqbaaz and the Redux. I skipped the Niti Taylor era because I simply didn’t have it in me to watch more of that show 🙏 but you gotta realise the mess I sat through.

So everytime I want to drop IPKKND I keep telling myself you finished Ishqbaaz, you can sit through this but I guess I’m just finding it difficult. Ishqbaaz was low-key on TV steroids because SO MUCH was happening on that show all the time.

I was kinda tuned into every character for a long time. I don’t want IPKKND to match Ishqbaaz’ freak but apart from Arnav and Khushi I low-key dgaf about anyone 😭👎 Lavanya and the goat (a literal goat Lakshmi) are the other characters I don’t tend to skip over.

I feel like maybe I’ll slow down or take a break for now (I say this as I still want to watch the show because I want to see them fall in love! 😭) but I keep losing patience.

I think what I find super tiring is sitting through anything that isn’t the lead couple and I guess that’s where this show differs from the other ones I’ve watched. Ishqbaaz had 3 brothers as main characters and their parents and they were insane 😭 like truly doing anything !!! So while the female lead was forced to sit through the literal GARBAGE treatment the male lead gave her, you had other things going on.

I don’t really care for other characters for now and also know they’re going to turn on Khushi soon so it keeps pissing me off 😭

Khushi is the only person I root for. My sister is a klutz (god help her feet) and she’s definitely crazy to constantly come back to this house but she’s so loveable. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way towards a character in ITV. for all the Ishqbaaz yapping that I did, Khushi reminds of Gauri. Like I get the same I’ll protect you from these losers energy when I see Khushi that I used to get with Gauri.

I also think they both have a great knack for comedy. IPKKND is getting slightly into the phase where Arnav and Khushi’s interactions are less yelling and throwing daggers at each other and more just awkwardly vibing and Khushi’s SOOOO FUN 😭😭😭

but the plot is soooo slow. y’all I think it’s 2 FULL more seasons of Lavanya and ASR and Shyam for some bizarre reason not getting caught. Like…. someone help me through this.

and I know all of their asses are going to turn on Khushi and bully my sweet sister once ASR does that classic blackmail wedding. She’s already been through so much. WHYYYY 😭💔👎

I’ve just realised this is a rant with no point because I might still go and watch that show. I guess I just wanted to vent because apart from the main leads everyone just frustrates me. 💀

Also Shyam getting to exist for SUCH a long time on the show is crazy….

someone save my Khushi because I’ll take time getting there 😭😭😭

for now l’ll take a breather lmao. ITV truly is a test of patience 😤

[delta-lethonomia]

Minor livejournal-style vent/depression rant under the cut, thoughts about trauma's effect on writing:

(No need for sympathy, just yelling into the void lol. Plenty of trigger warnings...)

Listening to: Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics

Man, I know it's just hormones + low-key depression, but my brain's in a real simmering "everything you work on sucks, you'll never have a career nor the respect of your peers, you'll probably get cancer too because why not, we all die, and you should start a fight with [husband] so he can go marry someone who actually financially contributes to the household instead of bringing a bucketload of family and personal trauma to the table" type vibe. Which-

-is such a braindead take??? What 🤌 The 🤌 Fuck 🤌 brain 🤌

I know it's the ~trauma response~ talking here with the desire to set my life on fire because clearly I've been too relaxed lately, but I'm not twenty anymore so stop👏 it 👏 ugh. I know better, but it's an endless fight until the last of that programming gets eradicated.

Anyway, the last time one of my parents died, I drank a bunch and then the pandemic hit 2 months later so that was nice, relaxing, and validating tbh. Unfortunately I also gained a bunch of weight I never managed to shake off afterwards so I'd rather not go that route again. Also someone I knew drank themselves to death at age 30? So uh. Unpleasant. 0/10, would not recommend. Don't do that.

Sigh. The solution, of course, is to take a fucking shower and then go for a walk & get some sunlight, but I really want to get this chapter finished... the chapter, of course, where my notes explicitly state "happy fun times! The calm before the storm! Show a version of what could be, if Tav and Astarion manage to stay together and not eat one another alive."

Hmm. Real shocker that I'm struggling with it. The draft is 4.5k and gets darker every time I poke at it. 🙄 Maybe that's the solution, throw narrative convention out the window and just write where my heart takes me, and if it leads to one of the worse endings then so be it. It's fun, too, because we haven't even hit the particular brand of bullshit that I have a lot of experience with that I know is gonna upset me lol (not cancer or death related, surprisingly enough. I contain ✨multitudes✨).

One of my favorite artists is going through hell with her own cancer, and the things she draws are incredibly fucked up and dark. I feel like there's definitely a link between personal trauma and turning that into art, so I guess it's not surprising per se that my mom's recent death is affecting the way I write FATWR, but it's just kind of sad that something I've invested so much time and effort into feels like it's become less a work of my conscious mind and more a reflection of the needs of my subconscious. That's the myth of the conscious mind for you, I guess.

Then again, art is meant to evoke emotion and help process it, so maybe going off the rails is the way forward regardless. What's the point of creating something that doesn't make me happy? So what if it ends up a few shades darker--it's already so fucking dark in the metanarrative of what's actually going on and where it's leading. Maybe some levity will organically arise elsewhere down the line...?

[1-sasha-stuff-1]

Chapter 11: Complicated Emotions of In Another World

PLEASE READ BEFORE READING THE ACTUAL CHAPTER!!!

A/n:

How about we all pretend that I wasn't gone for 5 weeks, yea? Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter! :D

Warning!!!: I'm just going to put it out there, this chapter will contain the topic child neglection, if you are uncomfortable with that, please just skip over it and read the Summary for that part at the beginning before the story actually starts. 

If you are ever experiencing any neglection or know of someone who is being neglected by their parents, please talk to someone! You're not alone and you don't have to be alone! You are loved, and if you don't believe that, just know that I care about each and all your being! 

Now that you have been warned, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Key:

f/d/b - favorite dog breed

fur/c - fur color

d/n - dog name

| | | | |

SUMMARY:

Summary: 

The person who interrupted Y/n thoughts was Aizawa and he talks with her as she vents out on how her parents aren't spending enough time and she has a sense of felling that she's starting to lose everyone again. Aizawa comforts her and offers his cell phone number so that she can talk to him if needed and walks her home.

END OF SUMMARY

| | | | | |  

“That’s some strong language for someone like you, kid.”

Hearing that mocking and cold voice, I spun around, ready to face whoever seemed to have been taunting me, but there was no one there. Turning around and scanning the area around me, it was deserted. Where was that voice coming from?

“Up here, kid.”

Looking up, I saw a man hanging from a lamppost. His long black hair covered his face as he wore a black outfit and a scarf that was wrapped around his neck. A pair of yellow goggles rested on his forehead and his eyes glowed red as he stared at me. 

Aizawa Shota, otherwise known as Eraser Head. 

As I met his red eyes with my e/c ones, I shivered as a cold wave of fear washed over me. He gave me a piercing gaze that made me feel like he could see right through me. I never thought that meeting Aizawa would be this intimidating, not only was he a teacher at U.A. but he was also a pro hero, and not to mention his quirk. His quirk seemed to be even more scary in person.

“Oh, um, hey. What’s up?” I asked, trying to sound calm so as not to let my inner fangirl out.

He jumped down from the lamppost, landing on the ground like a cat; gracefully in a way that made sense but didn’t at the same time. 

He then got up and started to walk towards me with his hand on his scarf, ready to use it and his quirk if necessary.

“Shouldn’t you be home by now? It’s late and your parents might be worried.” He said in a low voice, his eyes scanning me for any signs of a potential threat. 

I tried to act casual, but I couldn’t help but feel small under his gaze. 

“I’m pretty sure my parents won’t care.” I said, feeling a surge of guilt and anger towards my parents. Well, mostly my mom. 

The older man seemed to have noticed the tone in my voice, or the hurt in my eyes, because he then let his guard down slightly. He now stood in front of me, about three and a half feet away from me, waiting for me to continue.

Sighing, I continued with my little rant on the situation.

“Well, lately my parents have been away longer for work and stuff and so I guess they're just stressed and stuff. But I usually just give them space and stuff, you know? Although today I just wanted to say something and when my mom answered she seemed pretty bothered that I had called her, especially during one of her meetings. After she said she was in a meeting and all, I just kind of told her it wasn't important, and she got even more annoyed than she already was and just hung up on me. But like, it’s not my fault that they have their own shitty issues, right? Like, how was I supposed to know if she was busy with dad doing some stupid meeting?”

My voice rose as I clenched my fists, my eyes burning with rage. I ranted on and on about my mom and how she was starting to ignore me as well as my dad, even as I felt the sting in my eyes, warning me that tears were on the verge of spilling over and onto my face. 

“I swear to god they don’t even care about me, they’re too busy with their own goddamn lives, careers, and problems to even spend a few minutes with their own and only daughter. Like, they don’t even come home as often anymore! It’s like they’re trying to just shut me out and tune in on their own shit….”

Tears ran down my face as I looked away from his gaze, feeling ashamed of myself. 

I didn’t want him to see me cry, it made me feel weak. 

The moon cast a pale light over the empty street, the only sound was the distant hum of traffic. 

All of a sudden, arms wrapped around me, and a hand patted my back. Apparently, when I was lost in my thoughts, Aizawa had moved to give me a hug. 

“I know it might be hard on you, but it’s also hard on your parents. I’m pretty sure they're trying their best to be there for you, just give them some time, kid. It’ll work out.” He said softly.

“And if it doesn't?”

He stayed quiet for a moment or two until he sighed and separated from the hug, pulling out his phone once he stood straight again, and held out towards you. Confused, you looked at him, the phone in his hand, him, the phone, and back at him, head tilting as it always did for whenever you were confused. He sighed (for what felt like the millionth time) and explained. 

“If it doesn’t work out or if your parents aren’t home or anything, then I guess you can just vent it out on me about it.”

A small smile came onto your face, now that you have stopped crying. You pull out your phone and you both exchange numbers. Giving his phone back and vice versa, a silence fell upon the two of you, until you broke it with just two words.

“Thank you”

A faint smile was present on the man’s face as he stared at the younger female, placing a hand on top of her head and patting it.

“No problem kid.”

| | | | The next day | | | |  

The young h/c girl was walking on her way towards school, headphones in at a volume that drowned out the world around her. 

She was still thinking about the moment with Aizawa last night. He had decided to walk her home after he comforted her. (I mean, who would just let a kid in that mental state walk home at night alone?) During that time, they had a nice conversation. Well, she was the one asking the questions and talking, while he just walked alongside her and answered the questions she had and listened to her talk. 

“Y/n!”

She turned around, pulling out her headphones and putting them away as she saw Midoriya jogging up to her from behind. She hadn’t told him about the encounter with Aizawa yet, although she was thinking of not telling him just yet. But Midoriya had talked to her over the phone about the sludge villain attack, mainly because she had called him and started to ask him if he was alright and stuff. (And she was hoping that he would tell her about meeting All Might afterwards, but sadly, those details were kept away and unsaid by him). 

He had told her that apparently, after the sludge villain tried to attack the two of them underneath the bridge and she lost consciousness, All Might had taken her to a nearby hospital to get her checked out. But Midoriya had clung onto his leg, which caused that landing moment on that one building, and how he had asked All Might if he could become a hero and bla, bla, bla.

The said boy was panting slightly as he caught up with her and started to walk by her side. They continued their way towards school. 

“A-Are you doing better, Y/n? I was really worried that you wouldn’t wake up….” He said, his voice full of concern.

“I’m fine, Izuku! I think it would take a lot more to knock me out of commission for good!” She said, trying to sound cheerful.

“That's good! W-wait! I didn’t mean that it was good for you to get knocked out again, but I just meant that it was good that you woke up and-” He stammered, realizing how his words could be misunderstood.

She grabbed onto his hand, cutting him off and smiled at him. He looked at her with a knowing blush on his face. 

“Izuku, it’s fine, don’t worry about it! Now come on, we don’t wanna be late, do we?” She said, changing the subject.

The two teenagers ran along the sidewalk towards school, hand in hand. 

Y/n smiled as she kept talking about what she was going to do to train for the upcoming UA exams, while Midoriya listened in, occasionally giving his own input.

| | | |

A few months later - 3 months left until UA Entrance Exams

| | | |

Walking down the sidewalk of Musutafu, you wore a f/c beanie, along with some parachute pants and your Eraserhead hoodie on top of your plain white shirt. You felt the rhythm of the music in your ears, blocking out the noise of the city. The sound of panting from a certain four-legged animal could also be heard as you held onto its leash. 

It had been a few months since everything had happened, and as you expected, Midoriya hung out with you less due to training with All Might. But of course he never said that, he had just said that he was either busy with homework, chores at home, or some other random reason. 

And of course, he also apologized a million times, but you always told him it was alright. Besides, you had your own problems to deal with alongside training; your parents. 

As expected, your parents for the past few months have been busy with work and such. So your daily schedule ended up being that you would wake up home alone or with your parents just about to leave, go to school, come back home without anyone there, do your thing, and go to sleep. And it had just repeated itself over the course of the last few months. Your parents must have felt guilty or something because a few weeks later, they got you a dog. 

The dog was a male f/d/b with a fur/c coat with a lighter shade underneath and on its stomach and part of his legs. You decided his name would be d/n. 

Feeling the wind in your hair, you looked down at d/n and smiled, d/n seeming to notice your stare and turning his head slightly to face you. 

“You know, you're probably the best thing that’s happened to me so far. Well, other than meeting Aizawa.” You said, remembering the night he had walked you home and comforted you.

D/n seemed to have barked in agreement, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

As they both faced forward once more, your furry friend wagged his tail as you kept a small faint smile on your face, enjoying the peaceful moment and feeling grateful for your loyal companion. 

That peaceful moment was ruined when all of a sudden, d/n ran and managed to pull the leash out of your hand, barking as he was on the run towards whatever had caught his attention.  

At first you just stood there, frozen in shock, and then the realization hit you.

“H-hey! D/n, get back here, boy!” You shouted, chasing after him, hoping he wouldn't get into trouble.

|

| |

|

|

|

| |

|

|

"I'll adjust your schedule so that it will work out perfectly for where you're at right now, young Midoriya. Don't worry, this old man will get the job done in no time!"

"You're not old, All Might!"

All Might was seen on his motorized scooter (I really don't know what it's called, lol) as Midoriya was now jogging beside him, carrying a tire on his shoulder. 

"I still can't believe that the exam is only three months away though...."

"Time flies, and so you gotta make the most of it."

There was a comfortable silence that fell between the mentor and student until a distant yell was heard from a certain h/c girl. All Might seemed to notice it but thought nothing of it. 

"I'm getting too old for this."

The younger boy, wanting to ask All Might for his opinion on something involving the h/c female, said:

"Hey, All Might, I wanted to ask you about-"

Before the boy could finish asking his question, a dog came in front of the two males - who had stopped - and went straight towards Midoriya and jumped on top of him. The poor boy shrieked in terror and fell onto the ground, letting go of the tire in the process. 

Turning the corner, the e/c girl came into view and went up to d/n and grabbed a hold of his leash and pulled him off of Midoriya, who was now slightly shaking. Looking down at her dog, she hadn't noticed who she had bumped into, due to being occupied as she bent down to check the dog's leash and if it was connected properly to the collar. 

"I'm so sorry, I was so sure that his leash was connected properly to his collar. Are you alright?"

Standing back up and looking up, she noticed that one; it was Midoriya who had been "attacked" by her fluffy friend, and two; All Might was standing right next to him, of course in his weak form but still. 

"Y-y/n?"

Midoriya stood back up as he stared at the girl in front of him. The girl returned his stare as her eyes widened slightly. 

"Izuku! I'm so sorry that d/n did that, he doesn't usually do that."

"I-it's alright, Y/n!"

Turning your head from the boy - who had a slight blush on his face - you faced the older man slightly beside him and behind him at the same time. 

Smiling, you greeted him.

"It's nice to meet you, sir! My name is L/n Y/n, it's a pleasure meeting you."

"It's nice to meet you as well, young L/n. I've heard quite a bit about you from young Midoriya over there."

"A-All Mi-"

Midoriya slapped his hand over his mouth before he could continue, noticing his mistake. All Might became slightly tense as they both looked at you, wondering if you had noticed his mistake. 

Of course you knew their mistake, but you pretended that you didn't know and looked at All Might once more. 

"That does sound like Izuku! Always one to talk, huh?"

The two males mentally let out a breath of relief, glad that the female "hadn't" noticed Midoriya's mistake. The said boy laughed slightly at the Y/n statement.  

"Y-yeah, ha ha. W-Wait, Y/n! How's your injury, is it getting any better?"

"Oh, yes, actually. I kinda opened it up again by accident and so I had to get a few more stitches a few weeks ago, but I should be good by the time the exams for UA start."

"Young Midoriya did also mention you had gotten injured, an accident?"

Y/n looked at All Might's eyes as she nodded. 

"Yeah, it was an accident from a villain a couple of months ago, but I'll be fine."

They had talked a few more minutes until Y/n said her goodbyes. 

"Sorry to cut this short, but I have to start heading home now. It was great meeting you, sir! And I'll see you around, Izuku!"

All Might nodded as Midoriya stuttered out a 'yeah', and with that, the young girl walked away with her four-legged friend towards home. 

Once she was out of sight and hearing range, All Might looked down at Midoriya who had picked up the tire once again. 

"Are you sure she's doing alright? You did say that her injury was on her left side, correct?"

"Yeah, it was on her left side, and yeah! I'm pretty sure she's holding up fine. Like I said, she has some medication to help her with the pain and stuff." Midoriya said, trying to sound confident, even though you haven’t been telling him much about the injury over the course of months. Was he being too distant?

"Alright then, if you say so. Now, let's get going! We still need to finish up this part of training!" All Might said he gestured for Midoriya to follow him, carrying the tire on his shoulder.

With that, the mentor and student were off again, speeding through the streets of Musutafu. It was a peaceful silence, although All Might had some things on his mind. But one thought kept coming back to his mind.

"Why do I feel like I've seen her somewhere else before? She seems a lot like her." 

He thought, remembering the e/c girl who had bumped into them earlier. She had a familiar spark in her eyes, a similar determination in her voice, and a striking resemblance to someone he had once loved and looked up to.

A faint but noticeable smile came across the yellow-haired man's face, both sad and happy at the same time. He felt a pang of nostalgia, but also a glimmer of hope. 

| | | | | | A/n: 

We met Aizawa, and y'all got to have a father daughter like moment, :D.  We also got to meet All Might; I'm pretty sure you guys know why he recognizes us.  Next chapter is the chapter that I'm hoping will be the entrance exam. Again, I'm sorry for not posting sooner, but this week is finals week and I have a test tomorrow, did I study? Yes. Am I still scared regardless? Also, yes. Will I pass? I have no idea! At this point, it's just a mindset of "as long as I pass" (I have a B in that class). 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, until next time! Have a good rest of your day!

[tooclosetothestaars]

Dumb introduction post

Hi, my name is Liana :) I just post whatever I want on here. My thoughts, feelings, rants, vents, reblogs, stuff related to my favorite shows or movies or books or music, etc. My birthday is: November 27, 2007 (11/27/2007).

I LOVE music and fiction. I love TV shows & movies (that includes k-dramas, animes, etc) and books. Music is what I love the most in the entire world and fiction's second (sometimes I wonder if it's a tie lol). I wonder if I'll ever find someone I love and like as much as these things 😃

I listen to lots of different kinds of music, but I wouldn't say my taste has as much range as some people, who really have a diverse taste in music. I have favorite artists, but my music taste includes so many different kinds of songs that are from beyond the music from these artists, and an artist usually becomes my favorite when there are really quite a lot of songs by them that I love/like.

My favorite artists are: The Neighborhood (band), Chase Atlantic (band), Radiohead (band), Mitski (solo artist), Taylor Swift (solo artist), Madison Beer (solo artist), Cigarettes After Sex (band), The Weeknd (solo artist), Arctic Monkeys (band), Alex G (solo artist), Ariana Grande (solo artist), Lana Del Rey (solo artist), and probably more. But again, these are not all the artists I listen to. The amount of songs I love is...many. Not describable with words. I have some Spotify playlists if you're interested and want to check out:

Ok I just realized how many playlists I actually have. I'm gonna make a separate post for this, I don't have all of my playlists here. I have to add some songs to some of these playlists too

Anyway, so I'm actually currently working on making a list of literally all my favorite songs EVER. That's tough but I know I can do it..

One thing about me is that fiction impacts me very deeply, and so does music, but fiction just impacts me in very significant ways. I've noticed that the shows/movies/animes/books that are the saddest and cause me the most pain always end up being my favorites. I think I'm a bit of a masochist... I also actively seek out heart-wrenching shows and movies and books or whatever pieces of fiction and put them on my (numerous) lists. I have this enormous list of animes I want to watch where there are categories, and the category for sad animes is the longest. There are so many series' and movies I want to watch, books I want to read, music I want to listen to, and I have this desire to watch/read/listen to them ALL , even though my lists have a plethora of those things.

My favorite colors are: Blue, Green, Black, Gray, White, Purple, Brown, etc (I low-key love all colors...). I like the darker colors more, kind of. I love these colors so much, and I really love blue I think..

I'm an anti-natalist, I'm pretty sure (I don't exactly like to give myself absolute labels like that or "identify" with things, but this is the easiest way to explain something I think, or explain what/how I think about a certain thing; it just makes things easier so yea) which you can search about if you don't know what that is. I discovered this philosophical perspective through Reddit, and I had no idea this was even a thing, but I already had thoughts very similar to it. If you want to know more about it, I'd suggest you check out the r/antinatalism subreddit.

I'm an agnostic atheist too and I don't like religion (i.e: "established" religions, like Islam and Christianity), in fact, I may even hate it. I hate Islam and Christianity mainly and I have many reasons for that. I used to be a muslim when I was younger, or perhaps just a believer in allah, but not anymore, obviously. I also particularly hate the concept of heaven and hell and the rules in religion, and I have many issues with and arguments against the idea of "God" (the Christian God, the Muslim God, etc). I've thought about this so much and I realized the deeper you go into questioning the idea of "God", criticizing it, finding arguments against it, asking questions, etc, the more and more it just doesn't make sense at all. It's like one thought leads to another. Like the roots of a big tree. It's pretty complex I guess Basically, I have a lot of thoughts on this topic.

I have quite a lot of 'controversial', unpopular thoughts and perspectives. The more I learn, the more I notice this happening, sort of. Just for example, I think most parents aren't good parents. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as "good parents" anymore, thanks to a great comment I read in the anti-natalism sub, because bringing human beings into this world is not a "good" thing in the first place, honestly that very act itself can be considered child abuse I think, so, I don't know...☺️ But I agree. Probably. Yes. There's a lot to think about. I don't think there's such a thing as a "good parent". There are what I chose to call only 'better' parents and 'worse' parents, and most people are worse parents. But that's hard to explain to a person, right? So that was only one example that I have tons of more things to say about, and see how it led to more thoughts that sort of went in a different direction? Yeah, it's complicated

Basically, I have some unpopular thoughts. I've noticed I don't find it hard to accept new ideas/facts/information/knowledge unlike many others, if they're presented to me in an intelligent way, with proof/proper explanations, by someone who knows what they're talking about. Does that make sense? I'm only saying this because I noticed that for some reason a lot of people literally reject new ideas/facts/information even when they're presented with the 'correct' arguments for them, and even with evidence, etc by people who know way more than them on the topic they are talking about. There are many reasons for that, I know. I want to know why I'm not like that and why I find it easy. I also know I should question and critically examine things, too, and I try to do that, to the best of my abilities. I really learn so much from the internet, almost rapidly. It's like I'm constantly learning and gaining knowledge..

I'm very interested in psychology and philosophy. One psychology related topic I'm very interested in in particular is the 16 psychological types and the functions. I love @akhromant 's blog on this, big fan of it and I think that's probably the only blog I've ever read that's also my favorite.

I actually kind of have a whole story about this, I mean getting into MBTI, and I find it so funny lol but that's for some other time.

I have so much more to say and I already said too much on this introduction post and I don't think there's anything more significant or important to add here, so, oh wait let me just explain my username.. It's a part of a lyric from one of my FAVORITE SONGS EVER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD which is Reflections by The Neighborhood. I can't even talk about this. About how much I love that song and more by The Neighborhood and what it means to me. I don't just feel this way about this song in particular, but so many more. Maybe one day I can try to put it into words. But I can only ever try.

My asks and messages are always open, you can vent to me, rant to me, tell me anything, ask me anything, show me stuff, etc. By the way, I'm good at comforting people and I often end up in that position (or should I say put myself in that position....) so I can be your 'pretend therapist'. Feel free to reach out to me, I'm here for you.

Okay, that's it :) This was really long..but I have a lot to say I guess, and I end up explaining and getting into the details most of the time I think, I don't know. And if you, whoever you are, would be interested in being friends with me, message me 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ :)

[herinsectreflection]

Literally not all of them are tagged as shitposts you JUST posted a small thoughts post that low-key implied that liking Briley is intrinsically heteronormative (i am not a hetero so that's a nonstarter) and i didn't say anything until that point because that was the point where i felt so tired couldn't seem to stop myself (obviously i should have). And I'm sorry for spoiling your evening at all. I really do mean that. I haven't been trying to pick a fight with you and i love your blog. I'm not the best at communicating so i probably offended you and I'm sorry and swear i didn't mean to. I was just tired of seeing that stuff everywhere and kind of vented

I'm glad to know you have some nuanced thoughts on him to come in the essays, because that'll simply be refreshing in this fandom.

I still wish this had been more pleasant, but I've never managed to have a pleasant convo with Riley as the topic anyway so i should have just... not spoken. Sorry again

Looking at my phrasing on the first ask, i definitely said things too harsh and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have send it without thinking about it more (and definitely rephrasing) because it isn't YOUR problem that the fandom as a whole does something i personally find tiresome. Once again, sorry for any negative vibes on your night

I stand by heteronormative Briley, but the hot take I added in the untagged reblog was definitely meant tongue-in-cheek, so sorry for that. I get that seeing common takes can be irksome - that's what prompted my mini-rant in the first place. Anyway, I appreciate the apology and don't worry, I had a good night (I restored a table!). There's no bad blood here. <3

[fandom-go-round]

Hi! I know this character is kind of obscure, so let me know if you don't write for him!

I would like to request hcs for Adrien Victus with human diplomat!s/o, please. Your choice if it's fluff, smut or angst, I just think it would be interesting since he "hates diplomats". Thank you, have fun while writing!

No problem Anon, I love my Mass Effect!

He low key hates the fact that he’s attracted to you. It has nothing to do with you being human, which many would assume is the reason. No, it 100% has to do with the fact that you’re a diplomat. Adrien knows that you’re here because you’re capable and he would never doubt your skill but Spirits do you always have to be playing some sort of game?

He knows it’s not games, it’s politics but he’s never going to get used to being off the field. The more he gets to know you, the more he appreciates how you deal with things. You use your words as weapons and you’re dangerous in your craft. Even if he thinks real weapons are more affective.

Adrien is the one to approach you, oddly enough. It starts as strategy meetings, turning more into vent sessions the longer the Reaper threat remains large. He begins to see you as a friend and confidant, talking about how he fears for the future of the universe. You listen and share your own thoughts, being the first the initiate anything intimate.

You kiss him in the middle of a rant. He’s talking about his son and how proud he is, and he knows he’s just trying to fool himself. He is proud, that’s not a lie, but he also wants to grieve but there’s no time. You stop him from pacing, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his mouth. Adrien freezes, eyes wide before leaning closer into you.

“You can grieve with me. Even if it’s a few minutes, it’s better here than out there.” He falls into your arms after that, nuzzling your neck and letting you gently stroke the back of his head. Neither of you put words to what you are, understanding that right now there isn’t time or place. After, maybe, you can focus on the future and being together. Now? You have a war to win.

[nicistrying]

this is gonna be a long work rant re: my post yesterday about closing up with my manager and not wanting to fuck up so feel free to scroll on past, I just need to vent somewhere 🙄

I got in at 3.30 after he asked me to start early and he said there was quite a lot to do. I thought I could probably get a reasonable amount of it done. Started with helping my friend get our usual work on frozen out of the way which took from 4-6pm. He'd asked me to work the chiller, change over a deals cabinet and put some tickets out by 9. It'll be tight but if I go fast enough it is possible!

Started working the chiller and some guys turned up with a cherry picker saying they needed to fix the air con but couldn't start working until we closed at 9, and would be working for 2 hours. So my manager comes to me and asks me to stay til 11 bc there have to always be at least 2 staff. The other 3 people who were in all live further away and don't drive so I said I would.

Working the chiller somehow took until 8.30, manager did the deals changeover bc time and I took my break bc I was starving.

9pm comes around and we can't find his keys to get into the office to get into the safe to be able to bring the tills to cash up. We found them by 9.20 so I ran down to empty the tills, but the keyring that these tiny keys are on is broken so they keep falling INTO the counter caches (deep metal boxes with fiddly bits in them which are intentionally difficult to get your hand in. Thankfully I have tiny hands and managed to get them out after a few tries and a lot of cussing).

I could not for the life of me get the safe open even though I KNOW how to do it, and have opened it several times before. My manager is laughing to try to calm me down but I'm just getting really panicky and embarrassed bc I've already told him he makes me really nervous and I always fuck up when he's there. He came to show me something earlier and I got flustered and he's standing there laughing saying why are you going red. It's not that he's intimidating or anything, I just really want him to know I can do my job but bc I want that so badly I end up fucking up. He eventually has to open the safe for me and I finally start cashing up at 9.30 and everything is going fine, he's left to do other stuff, 3 tills are pretty much balanced, I get to the last one and it's £10 over. So I text him to come in the office. He recounts it and it is indeed £10 over so he declares it.

He asks me to count the safe and I'm so panicky by this point that I have to count everything twice bc I'm so convinced I've miscounted somewhere, I give him my numbers and he puts them into the computer. The safe is now £30 over and we have no idea why. So he has to start counting everything again himself and I'm just sitting tensed up in my chair by now, just panicking and thinking if I don't do anything I can't do anything wrong, but he'll think I'm not capable of doing it myself, so I ask what I can do that's actually useful. He remembers about stuff on the shop floor that he'd forgotten about, so I go do that while he finishes recounting. He comes out at 10.45 and says he figured it out and the wrong money was in the first till I did by myself 🤦🏼‍♀️ So I'm extra embarrassed and feel dumb as fuck.

I tell him this and that I'm worried he just won't actually be able to leave me to ever close up by myself, and he tries to make me feel better by saying I can just do early shifts instead. I didn't really say anything back bc I kind of took that as confirmation that he agrees I probably can't do it. I know that's not actually what he meant bc he just kept saying I'll get better etc etc but I just felt so shit and it was such a knock to my confidence (which I did not need) bc I know I can do all of it myself, I've done it all myself before and been totally fine because I was in with deputy manager who is super chill about everything and just lets me get on until I ask a question. Which is what he did last night too, he even left the room so i would panic less but I still fucked it up.

We finally leave work at 11pm. He showed me his baby car seat in the back of his car all ready for when his baby boy arrives (not due until July. It was adorable). Matthew pulls up to pick me up and I tell him I fucked up. My manager is super nice about it and says 'she did not fuck up she just freaked out everything is fine she's fine she just needs to calm down' and I give him the finger because he was also very much freaking out. We all laugh and say goodnight.

I get in the car and have the actual panic attack I've been trying to hold off all night and cry to Matthew for a good 10 minutes solid when we get home.

I've woken up this morning still feeling a LOT of residual stress and anixety AND I came on which explains the whole fucking thing but I can't really tell my manager that. I thought about texting him to apoligise for having such a shitty attitude but I'll just leave it bc the less I say to him the less weird shit can come out. I'll laugh it off on Friday when I see him. I just feel bad bc at one point I told him I didn't want the keys or the responsibility any more and that he should give them to someone else. He laughed and told me to fuck off lmao and said I don't have a choice bc he's told his bosses he's training me and this other guy and he insisted I'll be fine eventually but ugh. I'm annoyed at myself for having such an awful attitude but I now know it was partly down to hormones which is kind of a relief but kind of just sucks. Trying to look on the bright side, I'm just grateful that he recognises that I have such low confidence and is willing to work with me like this rather than just giving me the keys and hoping for the best.

It's 9am and I have a lot of housework to do before I go back into work at 12 and I just feel so anxious and overwhelmed by it that I genuinely want to call in sick. I can't do that bc I'll get into a depression spiral if I'm sat at home by myself and I'm hoping that once I'm there I'll be okay bc deputy is in charge today and I love her. Might actually go in early just to ask for reassurance tbh.

I have a lot of other stuff I really need to do and organise for the weekend but I can't think about it right now bc even getting up and washing the dishes feels overwhelming atm. Hoping I'll feel good enough to text some people and make some plans when I finish tonight. 🤞🏻

[floating-khoshek-floats]

Low-key broached the subject of my cause of stress with someone involved in a "just venting" way and it went okay, but chickened out before talking to the person who can most enact a change to ease my stress.

(Don't actually keep reading. It's just a very long and d vague rant about my stress sources. It is a waste of everyone's time to read lol)

I just don't want to inconvenience the whole group just because it's not really working out as is for me!! But my life has changed since last year! We are less in pandemic (though still very much still in on)! And I'm trying so hard to keep that block of time free but it's really really hard when I have to travel 6 hours to see literally any of my loved ones and not have to cut my one visit a quarter (if that!) short so I can drive back in time.

And every time I think I've kind of tried to broach the subject in other ways, (like maybe we can skip holiday weekends???) it always feels like I'm making a huge thing when *they* can all leave that time open, why can't you???

Like I don't like being the only person the day isn't working for, but we started this whole deal during a pandemic. Of *course* I was free then! But maybe now that "life" is going on regardless, my situation might be different and I'm so dang stressed trying to keep all my commitments. I shouldn't have to feel guilty about visiting my family or friends because oh nooo what if it cuts into recording time?? I shouldn't have to cut my visits short so I can get home on time. But likewise, i shouldn't have to miss recordings because I'm trying to see family??

Like both are priorities to me!! I am trying very hard to devote my time to both!! I can't help when they overlap!! Trust me, I try extemely hard not to have them overlap and it's just not possible sometimes.

It's not a good sign that we're nearing our one year anniversary and all I can think is, I wish it was over. I'm so stressed, my dudes. Someone very benignly suggests I come visit and I start crying because I've got recording. I can't do it. But I always have recording.

(This has turned into a full fledged rant my bad)

And like I get it. Release schedules are important to maintain views/listens whatever. And backlog is good to have and ours has gotten real small. But like we never take off holidays??? A holiday happens on a weekend, and we're expected to record? And they hate doing like a one-off filler episode because it "kills momentum" or whatever. And I'm like?? Not in anyway that truly matters.

Anyway, I love this project a lot but oof. It is burning me out so fast. I really wish we'd made expectations when we started but we didn't.

(The part that kills me is I never actually agreed to it. I said oh that sounds cool, and then never quite said no. And you know why??? I had just joined the group and it was my only game because we were in a pandemic. I didn't want to lose that.)

But at the same time I've met some fantastic people and friends through it. And it's been really fun. But the stress now. I am so burned out y'all. Because missing a day you know you ought to be at does not actually help the burnout because the whole time you're stressing about missing it.

I think it also like grew a lot faster than any of us thought. And I personally think we jumped the gun on a few things.

But somehow I'm the only one having issues with it really. So it means if I suggest changing the day, i have literally no one to back me up. And the people running it seem really against doing things like taking holidays off. And I'm just like, this is a hobby yo. A semi-professional hobby. I am using my free time to do this. I am not being paid. I do it because I enjoy it. I am sorry no one else seems to have a life outside of it??? But I do. It's not much of one, but my gosh, I'm entitled to it too.

I am proud of keeping my promises and commitments. I do everything I can to do so. But oof. This is much bigger and more time-consuming than I signed up for. I really want to keep it up, (not least of all because they were kinda pissed when someone else left. Like the circumstances were a little different and funky but still. Pretty pissed off) but I don't know how I can long-term.

[afaithy]

Prompt 107 for Takari when it's that time of month? I'm excited to see a prepared Takeru in action!

OK I AM AWFULLY LATE FOR THIS. I am sorry. Life sucks u.u.

But here’s Takeru being a helpful baby when being a lady sucks.  I hope you enjoy it!

SEND PROMPTS, go HERE

107:You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper and a movie. You in?

“A friend is not the shadow that mimics you, but the one who casts all shadows away.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Takeru could smell problems the very first moment he stepped into the classroom that morning. Well, perhaps "smell" wasn't the best adjective to use in this case, but the point was what mattered. Something wasn't right.

Hikari was sitting in her corner of the classroom. Her head was resting miserably on her desk, using her arms like an uncomfortable pillow. The girl sat motionlessly, and Takeru did a quick countdown in his mind. 

Yes. It was around that time of the month. After being friends with Hikari for so long, he had learned to recognize the symptoms, and he had learned to prepare for those monthly occasions.

Takeru took a deep breath and stepped back from the entrance of the class. He still had some time before the classes began, and looking at how Hikari was doing, she would hardly last the first period without some help.  

A heat pack and some candy should do the trick for now. At least until lunchtime, when he could restock.

"The first day?" he whispered, placing the heat pack in her hand, and opening the bag of candies he'd just bought. 

"What...do...you mean?" Hikari mumbled incoherently. 

"You know what I mean..." he replied, twisting the candy open and placed it close to her mouth. 

Hikari took it in and savored it for a minute before turning her attention back to Takeru.  

"Peanut butter and chocolate?"

"Yup, read it helps with...you know, cramps. Peanut butter is high in vitamin E, which helps with the inflammation and the cramping, and chocolate, of course, has antioxidants; and don't forget the sugar."

"Since when do you know so much about this?" Hikari replied, thumping her forehead against the table, "Last time I checked, you don't have ovaries."

Takeru let out a chuckle and looked around, making sure that no one had heard that comment. Hikari's selection of words usually became much less elegant than usual when she was in her days. 

"That would certainly  be strange, don't you think?"

"And yet...you seem so acknowledgeable in the subject."

 "I did a lot of reading."

"What? Why are you even reading about this? Don't tell me you're writing a novel about PMS now." 

Takeru scoffed. Hikari's moody comments always amused him.

"No, I happen to worry about my female friends. Just because I am a guy doesn't mean I have to be a dork about the subject."

"Hah, why don't you tell that to my brother? Oh, no...even better, why don't you tell Daisuke? Maybe he will leave me alone."

Takeru let out an amused giggle. Taichi was no stranger to the subject, but he usually chose to ignore the existence of that female biological function; and Daisuke; well, Daisuke had even less tact than Taichi.

"Someone is extremely irritable this month,"  Takeru said, resting his on his palm and smiling. 

"Don't taunt me..."

Takeru lifted his hands in a sign of peace, as the teacher entered the classroom. The conversation would have to get postponed.

That day Hikari wasn't in the mood to hang out. All she wanted to do was get home, put on her comfiest pajamas, and lay down in bed, feeling miserable about being a girl.  To her relief, Taichi had soccer practice, and he wouldn't be back until the evening, which meant that she would have the house for herself. She couldn't deny that the peace and quiet was something she needed. 

At least, that was what she thought until the doorbell rang. The girl reluctantly rose from her bed and opened the door with a hint of irritation. Couldn't a girl get some peace?

To her surprise, as soon as the door opened, she came face to face with Takeru. He was wearing his silly purple hat, and from his arm, hung a large plastic bag.

"Takeru-kun?" Hikari said, puzzled.

The blonde smirked looking at the appearance of her friend. Hikari wasn't as glamorous as Mimi or Sora were, but she had some vanity herself. You would never see  Hikari tousled and in pajamas before evening unless she was in one of those bad days of the month.  Seein Hikari's hair messy and her small frame hiding under baggy clothes was a luxury that he had learned to appreciate. 

"I thought you would be feeling sorry for yourself, and decided to bring some moral support." Takeru smiled, showing her the bag.

"Moral support?" Hikari said with a frown. She should be used to this, but Takeru's consideration always took her by surprise every month.

"Yup..." Takeru replied, stepping into the house, and picking his slippers.

Takeru had become such a common visitor of the place that Hikari had ended up giving him his own slippers for his birthday. It was a gesture of friendship, but Yamato often teased him saying that it was the teenage equivalent to giving him her house key. 

Hikari leaned lazily over the back of the chair, looking at how Takeru pulled out the contents of the bag.

"What's all that?"

"Good that you asked," Takeru said solemnly. "First, cramp oil..."

"Cramp...oil?"

"Yup, you can either use it as aromatherapy or rubbed over your lower back. Lavender, Sage, Ylang Ylanf, Chamomile, and ginger. Helps to ease cramping, nausea, and moodiness."

"What?" Hikari said taking the bottle and smelling it. She had to admit the fragrance was soothing. 

"Also...Cramp-bark and Giner tisane..." Takeru added, showing her the can of sachets. "Ginger eases the pain, and cramp-bark, well that name says it."

Hikari took the can, speechlessly.

"Of course, before you start complaining..." Takeru said, raising his finger. "I got... the traditional chocolate box. That's pretty much obligatory, and I also bought the toffee popcorn you like so much, and there's the salty caramel ice cream that I put on the fridge, but that one is for later."

"Salty caramel?"

"Salty things help with nausea..."

"How do you even know all these?" Hikari asked. 

"Internet..." Takeru shrugged, "also Pinterest..."

"You use Pinterest?"

"Hey, don't judge me. It's a good place to look for inspiration." Takeru replied. "Now... important decision...which do you want to see? A nasty hairy creature that kills everything that touches the sand with its murderous fur or the romantic story of a teenage glowing vampire with a girl with low self-esteem?"

"What the...?"

"I figured you would want something awfully ridiculous to criticize and rant about. You know...to vent a little?"

For the first time in the whole day, Hikari smiled. A real smile and not one of her fake ones.

"So...vampires or furry monsters?" Takeru asked, waving the two movies playfully.

"...Furry monsters?"

"Good choice. Honestly, I can take some furry beach bigfoot, but a shining vampire? What kind of offense to Bram Stoker is that?"

Hikari burst into a fit of laughter. Trust Takeru to know how to cheer her up when she was feeling like a bag of useless meat.

"Oh...I bought you another heat pack..." Takeru said as he prepared the movie. 

"Takeru-kun..."

"Yeah?"

"I could totally marry you."

At the comment, the boy smiled.  He knew she wasn't being serious, but the innocent comment made him utterly happy. 

[bqstqnbruin]

hi sorry for coming in here and blowing up your inbox, i just need to rant and vent and i get good vibes from you.

so around 4.5 years ago, my sophomore year of college, i started dating my boyfriend (we are still together). he lived like 20 minutes where i went to college (he actually transferred to the school the next year, but not bc of me. he was already in the process of transferring when we started dating). anywho, since we lived so close, we hung out a lot, which i think is normal? we still saw our separate friends and spent a lot of time on our own, but we typically hung out on fridays and saturdays.

well, my best friend from high school went to a school about an hour away from our hometown. we talked all the time but couldn’t see each other a whole lot bc ya know, an hour each way plus tolls and we were broke college students. well, she would randomly come home on fridays and expect me to drop my plans bc she suddenly decided to come home. sometimes i would hang out with her if the plans with my bf weren’t elaborate or didn’t cost money (he never wanted to come between my friendships). but she expected it every single time she came home (which ended up being every single week) and i just couldn’t do that all the time. so she decided that bc i didn’t hang out with her all the time, that i was choosing my bf over her and she got all mad and wanted to stop being friends. which i was like…. uhm okay.

we still have some mutual friends from high school who would want to hang out in a group, which i was totally fine with! i would be civil for the group, i didn’t want anyone to think they had to pick sides or stop being friends with her, i really didn’t care all that much. but yesterday, i tweeted that i didn’t my name was that hard to spell referring to emails i got at work that spelled my name wrong (it’s literally a five-letter name and it’s in my email signature..) and she assumed it was about her for some reason so she got all pissy and tweeted back that we weren’t 14 and to stop subtweeting her and to talk like adults. so i texted her saying that i didn’t appreciate her coming at me because she had a guilty conscience, and she never responded. and then found out today that she blocked me💀.

i was lowkey hoping we could reconnect in the future and talk things out and maybe be friends again, but i don’t see that happening any time soon. and like… looking back, she was pretty toxic (not saying i was the perfect friend bc i know i wasn’t). and i know i should be glad that i’m cutting off toxicity in such an early, yet important stage in my life. but i can’t help but be a little sad bc she was the friend that was gonna be my maid of honor in my future wedding. idk, i have conflicted feelings and should probably just go to sleep lmfao.

you don’t have to answer this or post it, you can totally just delete it. i just needed to vent and get my feelings out, sorry for bombarding you. hope you’re having a good night, love u

omg never apologize my inbox is always open to vent

I'm proud of you for doing that though! It's hard to do stuff like that, and like you said, it's better that you cut it off early, but of course it's normal to be upset, especially if it was someone you were really close to. She was low key acting like a child with that subtweet thing, though, if she really thought it was about her, she either should have just forgotten about it or reached out to you in the first place, but that's just my opinion. You didn't sound like you were picking your boyfriend over her, again, in my opinion, she kind of sounds like she was overreacting almost? I don't think it's fair to you to expect you drop your plans every single weekend because she wanted attention.

Get some sleep, love you anon!

[sepublic]

Tbh if you're a hazbin fan, you honestly at least are cool for acknowledging that the series has tasteless problems. I pretty much just wish that my Discord friends that like Hazbin and Helluva DIDN'T unironically think it was perfect,, - Boxy

Honestly, Hazbin/Helluva is a... bit of a dilemma for me.

I can’t deny that I have some interest in both shows (mostly the former). And I DO like how the show looks visually, usually. In particular, I especially like how fun and creative the background characters, and the premise to me is fascinating. It’s a show that itself has a LOT of potential, if it could actually apply it.

But the thing is...

I can’t deny some of the things that Viv has done. And before anyone howls at me about how cancel culture is ‘bad SJW stuff’ or whatever they want to call it... Put that aside and actually look at Viv regardless. I won’t deny that while some criticisms at first seemed exaggerated to me, others have emerged, both recently, or been brought up.

And, like- I know she’s apologized for it. Which is why I want to be a fan. But it’s a cautious process, because amidst the harassment others have received from her fans, among other issues, it feels personally wrong to me to not consider that. That isn’t to say anyone who likes or follows her is necessarily a bad person- But in my case it’s hard to reconcile some of the things I’ve learned and witnessed. It’s not easy admitting that the creator of something you’ve looked forward to might not be so great, and there’s certainly moments of denial upon hearing the news. Times where one may seek someone to validate their refusal to believe.

I said it again, but the premise really fascinates me on the idea of exploring why people do bad things, and how one could recover from that while still acknowledging their horrific crimes. I thought the world that was established has some potential for neat lore and world-building that has fun with the idea of a bunch of different people from different time periods stuck together. I even did a few posts speculating on ways the show could explore this idea.

But by the end of the day, a part of me has to admit that I’ve more than likely been projecting my hopes quite a bit. Because the more I look at what Viv is clearly interested in, as well as the fandom, I have to admit that I probably won’t get what I’m actually waiting for, and that low-key sucks. 

I think that may be my biggest issue with the show itself- It has POTENTIAL, but it handles itself a bit poorly. Amidst the discussions of a certain slur from Helluva Boss, two of the characters’ depictions of their ethnicities and/or sexualities, and so forth, it feels in bad taste to dismiss these valid concerns by insisting that the show is set in Hell. Feedback is an important thing when making stuff, and so far it seems like Viv isn’t exactly good at actually acknowledging most of it in a constructive manner.

And, that’s not even getting into the technical aspects of the pilot. Again, it shows promise, but admittedly I have to admit that it’s also kind of a mess in terms of direction, the main cast design, and so forth. On their own a lot of the cast probably looks fine, but when you group them together they all look far too jarringly-similar. Even individual designs could use a lot more sprucing up (or the exact opposite), especially when someone considers who the characters are. Plus, the show’s whole premise is about redeeming oneself, but it seems like Viv doesn’t seem concerned about actually addressing most, if any of the cast’s character flaws? Or character flaws in general? And the FANDOM... the less said, the better.

It’s a situation where what I’m interested in is, like... heavily flawed, and clearly so. But there’s also just enough good in it, that I wish it was better? I DO want to enjoy it, but I can’t ignore a lot of things I’ve noticed or observed. I can’t ignore the part of myself that won’t stand for it. The whole concept of Cancel Culture emerged from the idea of people understandably not wanting to support those whose values had too much dissonance from their own. And while it is fair to mention concerns on how far it can go or lose control, it also feels cheap and callous to just disregard the thing entirely. People have a right to be concerned about how media represents and treats certain groups. Everyone is willing to acknowledge the power of fiction and boast about how the pen is mightier than the sword, how stories are a reflection of humanity, but the moment someone suggests that it could be problematic? Then people suddenly insist that it’s just fiction, just a cartoon, and that it has no effect on real life!

Ultimately, this is a series I’ll cautiously look at. I’d really like for it to be better, and for the creator to follow that kind of growth. But I can’t get my hopes up, either. Maybe one day if I grew more of a spine, I could post some vent-y thoughts, a bit of a detailed rant, on this blog regarding my full thoughts on things and my specific criticisms, but for now that isn’t coming anytime soon.

[teenwolfechoes]

Secluded Sentiment - Part Two

Part One

It’s time for Stiles to say goodbye. 

After we finish getting everything packed we both let out deep breaths. I can feel the tension in the room. While it’s not between Isaac and I, it’s still there. I cast a glance at Isaac, “hey man, I need a second. I’ll meet you by the Jeep in a few minutes.” I carefully mumble. 

His eyebrows come together and he licks his lips before nodding his head. He throws a hand to my shoulder where he grips it, “take your time, I’ll wait outside.” He responds. He takes one last look before heading out the front door. 

As I make my way to his bedroom I run my hands over the walls. Throughout these years this loft has become a second home to me. It has been my hard rock when my footing gets unsteady. Through the parties, pack meetings, and late nights it’s honestly a sight for sore eyes no matter what kind of day I’ve had. Now, granted I know I have a key. I know I’m welcome here anytime, but it won’t be the same. There won’t be a grumpy sour wolf here to make me feel safe, to judge my actions, or to listen to my rants. No matter what’s come up, Derek always listened to me. 

Rather it was about a new creature, a pretty girl that ignored me, or a vent from my mind winning a war with my heart. Oh all the times I ranted to him about Lydia. I was too oblivious to see what was right in front of me. As I look around I see what looks like a picture under his dresser. “What the fuck?” I mumble to myself. I reach under to grab it and pull it out. When I flip it over I see a picture of Derek and I. It’s a selfie I had taken a while back. 

I let out a laugh while holding my phone out in front of us “awww, come on sourwolf. One smile, that’s all I’m asking.” I jest at him. 

He gives me a solid frown before straightening himself and scooting closer to me. “One picture stiles then we eat our food.” He grumps back to me. We were currently sitting at a diner with the rest of the pack, celebrating another win against a creature threatening beacon. 

I beam in response before looking back to my phone. Once my attention is back on the screen, I find Derek smiling brighter than I had ever seen before. It brings a cheek splitting grin to my own face. “Hey there you go!” I gasp out before snapping the picture. As I move the phone closer to my face to see the picture I feel Derek move to look over my shoulder. 

I tilt my face to watch him from the corner of my eye. I find a content smile gracing his face before he turns the grin to me. He chuckles before firmly grabbing my shoulder and turning his attention back to the pack. I give a puzzled look before deciding to send the picture to him with a text saying “A salute to good times and amazing Alphas” before locking my phone. 

Throughout the dinner he wears this look of happiness. A small smile gracing his face as he interacts with the friends around the table, a playful mood I had never seen on the normally grumpy man. He discreetly, at least he thinks, casts grins and barely there touches as everyone eats. 

Once everyone stands to head to their cars I feel Derek staying close behind me, almost as if he’s protecting me from some creature I can’t sense. As I get to my Jeep I turn to look at him, finding that content smile highlighting his face. “Stiles, I um, I had a good time tonight. Not quite sure why I felt the need to tell you that, but thank you for the picture. Have a good night, yeah?” He quietly states while rubbing the back of his neck. 

I take in his flustered stance with a hint of confusion, why is he so nervous right now? “Yeah man, I had a good time too. Anytime you wanna have a photo shoot I’m totally up for it! I may or may not have a photo album for the entire pack. You should come see it some time.” I rush out in response. 

He lowly chuckles as his smile gets a bit larger, “I’d honestly love that.” He responded before opening and closing his mouth again. It’s almost as if he has something else to say, but thinks better of it. I hope everything is okay with him, he normally isn’t this nervous around me. “I’ll see you around, good night Stiles” he finishes before turning to walk to his own car. 

I tilt my head in confusion while smiling at his back. “Good night Derek” I mumble lowly before shaking my dazed state.

I let a content sigh escape me as I shake the distant memory. I wish I could just go back in time, and slap myself into recognizing what I had back then. Everyone was still breathing back then. I place the picture against my chest, willing to wake up from what has to be a nightmare. It feels like someone has carved a hole into my heart, like I’m incomplete. Which has to be a stupid thought right? If there’s one thing he deserves, it’s freedom. His entire life he’s been hurt, hunted, and stressed. 

Then there’s this recurring thought, he would never go for someone like me anyways. He’s Derek Hale; he’s strong, brilliant, and most importantly straight. Even if he hadn’t left, these feelings could never be reciprocated. If all of this is true though, why would he have this picture? Why would he keep it locked away for only him to see? Most importantly, why can’t I get him out of my head?

It’s almost as if there’s this pull to be near him, with him, or at least know where he’s at. I have this overwhelming feeling to protect him. I mean he’s a werewolf for god's sake, what could I possibly do that he can’t? I shake my head vigorously and massage my temples. I have to let him go, there’s nothing there for me. That thought caused me to push myself back into the standing position. I retrieve my wallet and place the picture there for safe keeping. I’m telling myself not to worry about it, knowing it’ll just throw me back into more memories that will push the guilt further in my heart. The logical part of me knows I will never find peace without knowing, but then I scold myself, it’s not about me. I can’t be selfish, Derek deserves happiness away from this god forsaken town. 

Patting the bed as a goodbye I stand and turn to look around the room. Of course in classic Derek fashion the room is mostly black. He has silk sheets with a black comforter adorning his bed along with his walls being a dark mahogany. The room even smells like Derek, and that's saying a lot with no wolf powers. Sandalwood and the sharpness of peppermint clings to everything in the loft. The smell of a rainstorm easily drifting through the air causing me to sigh. It smells like home. 

A tear betrays me as it falls from my eye, showing just a tiny part of the pain held within me at this moment. I place my hand over my heart “Goodbye Derek, I wish you were here. I wish I had grown the balls to tell you, hell, even show you just a glimpse of how I feel. I’m no good at goodbyes, they always cause so much pain.” I pause to take in a deep breath. It honestly feels as if my heart is cracking a bit more. “I just, fuck the what if’s. I-I think I love you Derek. Fuck!” I growl out before tugging at my hair. “Goodbye Der, you deserve the world.” I end before cleaning my face with my jacket sleeves. With a clear of my throat I leave the bedroom and head out to the Jeep. 

Isaac is stood outside the Jeep, watching me with a tilt of his head. I nod at him before walking around and hopping in with a slam of the door. As I start the engine I can feel him staring holes into the side of my head. “What is it man?” I grouch out to him, placing my face in the palms of my hands. 

He snaps his eyes to the house before clearing his throat, “Stiles, I, I just don’t understand. Derek wouldn’t just leave like this. What happened?” He asks with desperation coating his tone. 

I chuckle darkly while shaking my head. I throw the vehicle into drive before responding, “You wanna know what happened? Kate Fucking Argent.” I scream before slamming my fist on my steering wheel. I turn out of the driveway and allow the tears to fall freely this time. “She turned Scott into a berserker and held him and his girlfriend captive. When we went to save them Derek jumped out first. There was another berserker there. He beat Derek to a fucking pulp and then stabbed him.” The memory causes my face to cringe and my heart to tighten. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could’ve defended him in anyway, but I’m weak. “Derek, he-he survived. He evolved actually. He turned into this magnificent black wolf. We haven’t seen him since. He left, for his own good. This town was going to kill him.” By the end of my rant my voice is a low whisper. The memory is still so vivid and heart wrenching. 

Isaac is silent for a minute or two, taking everything in I suppose. I breathe in the road, that smell of rain still fresh in the air. It’s almost as if anything and everything triggers memories of Derek. “I should have never left.” Isaac mumbled in return, mostly to himself, I assume. 

My only response is silence this time. There’s no sarcastic or witty response quick off my tongue. Sometimes, the best answer is silence. I’m not better at reunions than I am at goodbyes I guess. I’m just tired and angry at this point. I want everything back to how it was, but I also don’t want to feel weak any longer. Most importantly, I want Derek back. 

“Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.” -

Taglist: @fussy-and-a-writer-sometimes​

[writteninsunshine]

Step Into The Dark - Adam-Centric - NSFW

Title: Step Into The Dark Author: Donnie Fandom: Saw/Insidious Setting: The Bathroom Pairing: None Characters: Adam Faulkner, Lawrence Gordon, Zep Hindle, John Kramer, Specs (Insidious), Tucker (Insidious), David (Saw .5), OC: Matthew Faulkner, OC: Lukas Radford-Faulkner Genre: Angst/Horror Rating: M Chapters: 1/1 Word Count: 2006 Type of Work: One-Shot Status: Complete Warnings: Canon Character Death, Hallucinations, Sensory Deprivation, Adam Dying, AU - Canon Divergent, Adam just starves to death here, Vent Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except Matt and Lukas. Summary: Adam would have accepted anything to dull the pain, even death. AN: Lol just have to say this before I get into the meat of it, I checked, and 2006 was the original word count for this. 2006 was the release year for Saw III. I just thought that was funny. xD So… On to the real thing here. I’ve been doing not very good and really needed to torture Adam, I guess. I don’t usually write his death, or him being dead or whatever, but I guess I needed to vent pretty badly. I hope you guys enjoy! Edited by my friend, Griff, because I couldn’t do it myself.

Bye Bye Man/Insidious/Saw Fic Masterlist Step Into The Dark ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ While Adam was used to the clawing beast in his stomach, this was a new low for him. Dying in the dark, waiting for something that wasn’t coming. Lawrence had lied to him, and all he could hear was I wouldn’t lie to you. over and over again in his head. An endless loop, sometimes in slow-motion as if he could pull every syllable from Lawrence’s filthy, lying lips if he tried hard enough, and it was growing so old. The last thing he remembered seeing were those grotesquely bright blue eyes. They had been so handsome before the blood loss; it had made the incandescent fire in them scorch him, before leaving him to rot.

It took too much effort to be angry anymore. It took too much effort to even open his eyes, and he’d given up on trying to move his right shoulder at all. There was no escape this time, no way to duck under the responsibility and run. His own cowardice had landed him in the one place he couldn’t seem to leave. Even the acrid scent of his dead cellmate and the stench of shit didn’t register anymore. He had heard of the term ‘nose-blind’, but this was probably to a rather crazy degree. Old-Lady-With-Twenty-Cats crazy. Sunlight was a vague memory, something he couldn’t quite grasp anymore, and he yearned for one more sunrise. In his restless dreams he saw his family, his father’s crooked grin - passed to all of his sons, Lukas’ inability to stick to one person, David’s sardonic attitude, Specs’ nerd culture. They welcomed him back, Matt constantly babying him, much to his siblings’ chagrin, and even Lukas was being kind. That was probably the biggest tell that it was a desperate fantasy. Another bout of stomach acid shredded his throat as it leaked out of his mouth, and he didn’t have it in him to even move. Barfing on his shirt was something that, last month, would have been alcohol-induced. Here, he was so used to tasting acid and feeling sick that he couldn’t imagine ever drinking booze again. With his head pounding and his eyes, adjusted to the dark enough to see the vague shapes of the fixtures, pulsing, he closed them carefully, watching the spinning dots behind his eyes like an in-flight movie. When had his life become so bad that he wished for his shithole apartment, that he missed the days that he couldn’t eat because he didn’t have the money? Having the option sounded like it would be better than this. How long had he been down here? It could have been three hours or three days. That time was spent either pleading with God or hating him because that had always worked for other people. It wasn’t like he had access to anything else, either. The tap didn’t run, not anymore. Even the ticking of the clock had stopped at some point, leaving him in the dark in deafening silence. It figured that he wouldn’t be allowed to count the seconds by to try haphazardly to keep time. Worse than that, though, was when he could hear things. Little scampering feet in the darkness. They had to belong to rats, mice, things of that ilk, and if Adam knew these New York sewer lines, he’d be feeding mammoth rats before the day was out. It did enough to terrify him into stiffening until his shoulder quaked, but nothing ever ventured close enough to touch him. Maybe in his sleep, emboldened by his steady breathing, but never when he heard them when he was awake. Beady eyes in the darkness watched him, mocked him with their ability to come and go as they pleased. Rustling the chain did well enough to scare them off, and it was usually both a gift and a curse when he finally decided to move his leg. Restriction made comfort a far cry in any position, but even less so now that it felt like his ass had been melded with the broken tile beneath himself. Sometimes, he humored himself; which of them was really worse off, after all? At least Adam had both of his feet, the evidence was on the other side of the room. It was a poor claim to happiness when seconds later his traitorous brain replied with, But he has his freedom. That was, if Lawrence had managed to crawl to safety. For all Adam knew, Zep wasn’t the only corpse he shared a catacomb with. Anything beyond the bathroom was a mystery, and he’d go so far as to say that anything in the bathroom out of reach was a best guess, at this point. It was almost impossible to even tell which of Zep’s feet he had had to kick away from himself at first. Once the door was closed and he was, rather suddenly, left with the inability to take anything for granted, he took everything in his general vicinity for some semblance of safety. For a while, he had thought it was a better use of his time to try and find the key, to lay in the bathtub instead of on the floor. The less strength he had in his arms and legs to lift himself, however, meant he had wanted to get up and down less. Eventually, he parked back against the floor, and he wasn’t sure he’d moved much in the last millennia. He was a fixture of this bathroom, like the tub, the clock, Zep’s lifeless corpse. Sometimes he wondered if he’d been dead this whole time, if he wasn’t already gone and his soul hadn’t left, hadn’t been given the chance or the option to leave. Was this Hell? The question had crossed his mind on a few occasions, but he never truly entertained it. If nothing else, leaving the thought open-ended meant that there was a chance that this mind-numbing loneliness would leave, that the impending doom he felt looming all around him could end. Even if he didn’t live, which was looking like the only option, death would be a welcome reprieve. What had he ever done to deserve this? He supposed starving to death in a shithole you could leave wasn’t much better than starving to death in one you couldn’t, but at least he’d been able to try and change his situation before. That was his mistake, he mused absently, giving a breathless, mirthless chuckle. His only sin had been living, trying to survive. Had he gone back to his dad’s two-bit trailer and scraped up his pride off the floor for dinner instead, maybe this wouldn’t have happened to him. Hell, Lukas was better off than he was, and the man was a walking medicine cabinet if you were paying high enough. Why wasn’t Lukas tested? Or, maybe he had been. That Jigsaw guy was intent on cleaning up the under crust, and Lukas was as slimy as they came. Unbeknownst to him, David had been a player in his own game, just the same as he was, except for the thorny issue of him being the triplet that lived. David’s survival was the only thing holding Matt together, who pleaded and threatened God in equal measure to have his son returned to him. Much like an unimpressed Customer Service employee, God had deigned to do nothing but let him rant, so far. It almost hurt more that his dad might be holding out hope that he’d come out of this, but he would say it was a close second. This hurt like Hell. Whatever his stomach was saying, he’d almost forgotten the translation. Pain, sure, it hurt, but it always hurt. No matter how much writhing and pitching it did, it melted in with everything else that wore on him. Sleep was nonexistent for him, but there was occasionally a lull in the constant pounding of his head. Were his eyes ever even open, anymore? He could make out vague shapes but it didn’t really seem much different from when he closed his eyes again. A sudden rush of light plagued his tired eyes, and he blinked awake, lower jaw quivering slightly. “Adam, come on.” Lukas cried, and the eye roll could be heard in his voice as he slammed his elbow into the table, “Dad says we can’t eat if you don’t get your ass in gear, he’s gonna starve all of us because of you, lazy assh--” “Shut it, Lukas, don’t you have a ballet thing to be at for daughter number twelve?” Matt’s voice cut in, playful and sharp as a tack, and Adam felt a smile working onto his face. It turned to a full-on grin when his father could be heard smacking Lukas’ shoulder, “You watch your mouth. I’m your father.” “Pretty sure Adam’s the only one that matters to you. Davey and I’ll just have to go hungry.” “David’s a good kid, he can have as much KFC as he wants, too.” “KFC?” Adam heard himself before he could register that he’d spoken. His voice didn’t sound broken, it didn’t sound fractured or even quiet, it was just how it used to be. “The grilled shit?” “Yeah!” Lukas piped up again, peeking around the wall a little to give Adam a disapproving frown, “With mashed potatoes, macaroni, coleslaw, and biscuits. Get in here or I’m going to eat everything but the fucking slaw.” “You will not.” Matt snapped, before his voice turned soft and coaxing, “Adam, come on, baby boy. Got all your favorites.” “You did not,” Adam found himself giggling, elated at the idea that anyone would actually like coleslaw, “You got coleslaw, and not extra Mac.” “I know, kiddo, that’s the thing I got me that I know you brats won’t eat. Except maybe Tucker.” “Tucker eats coleslaw.” Specs supplied, already dishing out his plate of mashed potatoes, gravy and a single drumstick. “But he eats almost anything.” The mammoth of a man sat with his family around the coffee table in the dingy trailer he grew up in, on the floor because all of the chairs were too tall for him to still reach the table. Everyone was staring, expectant, as Adam shuffled in place in the hallway that lead to the bedrooms, biting his lip and feeling out of place. Was this even his family anymore? “Adam,” Matt’s tone took on a sugary sweet tone that had him wary, knowing he had probably done something wrong, “Come on, come eat. I know you’ve been struggling. You’re not in trouble, I’m your dad, I can do stuff like this for you guys now and again, even if you’re grown. Especially because you’re grown.” Acceptance seemed to wash over him in waves. Each step he took onto the thin carpet didn’t feel like anything, but he was moving forward, taking a spot between David and Specs on the couch. David offered a one-armed half-hug, and Specs barely tilted his head before demolishing his drumstick. Lukas shot him an expectant look but dug into the breast he’d pilfered from the bucket, eating enough that when Matt noticed, he didn’t do anything more than glare. “You know that’s--” “Adam’s, I know, I get it. We all know he’s your favorite.” Lukas groaned, “It’s weird to pick a favorite identical triplet but whatever.” “I don’t play fav--” “Dad,” Specs paused in his eating to look up, “You do, and it’s okay.” There was something in Adam’s hands. It didn’t feel like the greasy, delicious grilled chicken wing he’d picked up, it was soft, firm and bony. Cold, maybe, or just cool. It didn’t seem quite right, but he couldn’t exactly see anything wrong with it. Warmth blanketed his face as he took a bite, and something seemed to give. With a final sigh, everything melted away into nothingness, and he finally felt at peace. Matt never would get to see his son again without looking into the faces of the remaining triplets. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ AN: I forget why I started this, but this happened even more because of some shit happening in my life right now and I’m just…. Trying to keep going. This sort of helped but I’m also more anxious, now.