#this is just what happens when you listen to pokémon music while drawing

[rayar32]

I have been thinking about my OCs pokémon teams (as a normal person does) so yeah

Luiza's team is composed of punks with a heart of gold. Luiza's Aggron for example is a daycare mon that got abandoned by his original owner; she felt so bad for the old boy that now he's part of her team and is designated team grandpa.

Helena's team are regal/mean looking mons that are actually just chill as hell. She actually fought her Aegislash in a one-on-one duel and won so now he is the kindest sword-ghost there is and is always there to hype up his fellow teammates.

And then there's Helena's Weavile that's actually just a little gremlin. Luiza originally caught her as a Sneasel, but the thing latched onto Helena for dear life and now she begrudgingly deals with her because there's no way in hell she's abandoning her only losers abandon pokémon.

[call-me-aesthetic]

If Twisted Wonderland was an American Public School

WARNING: There are some slight sensitive topics that are featured in here! Reader discretion is advised!

Part 2 can be found here

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

- That one preppy girl who takes all honors and AP classes 😑

- Wants everyone to know that he’s becoming a doctor one day for his strict parents or he’ll dishonor the family

- Reminds the teacher about homework, knowing well that he’ll get slander for it

- Complains about how he got a 90 on his test or a B on his report card, a try hard much?

- Wears a cardigan with thicc but cute glasses since he’s one of those people with can’t see shit on the board so he has to move to the front of the class

Ace Trappola:

- The SoundCloud rapper, that’s it

- “Wanna listen to my mixtape? It’s pretty fire, my guy.” 😩🔥

- You will not miss him BLASTING out some song on his Bluetooth speaker, that shit be echoing through the hallways

- Tells you to stop what you’re doing only for him to either sing horribly or do a backflip, thinking that he’s so cool

- Wears a Supreme jacket with AirPods and waves on his head

Deuce Spade:

- Assuming that he’s still a delinquent, he’s that kid with the most fucked up school record

- Not much of a bully but will still talk shit to your face without caring, might even throw stuff at you during a lesson and you would be the one getting in trouble instead of him 🗿

- If he ever gets mad, it would be overdramatic like kicking the desks, punching the lockers, or walking out of the classroom unannounced and everyone would look at each other wondering wtf happened

- Covers the entire desks with drawings of skulls and those “s” if you know what I mean

- Wears Champion hoodies, wants you to know that he’s broke and rich at the same time

Trey Clover:

- The guy that’s not really popular but everyone knows him since he’s in all their classes

- Most people might have a crush on him because he’s REALLY nice 😳👉👈

- Gives off “older brother” vibes based on the way he looks and acts, like offering you a ride home if you beg ask nicely

- Secretly bakes creme brulee but doesn’t want to mess with the flow so he sticks to the status quo

- Wears the school’s hoodie just because he thinks it looks good on him, and the fact that he doesn’t know what else to wear

Cater Diamond:

- Hot Cheetos girl 🥵

- Has a whole buffet of food in his backpack and will not hesitate to eat them during a lesson, no sharing either sorry

- Excuses himself to the bathroom or full on skips class just to film a Tiktok

- Has about 100 followers on Instagram Magicam and brags about how he’s famous

- Wears a Thrasher hoodie with large hoop earrings and his hair in a bun

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

- The kid who flunked their freshman year that also sort of vibes with new classmates

- Always gets mistaken as a teacher by people since he looks and sounds old

- Knows the lessons but still fails them anyways, didn’t really give a damn either 🙄

- Captain of every sports club you can think of, never actually plays but has a lot of knowledge on them

- Wears the school’s letterman from years ago since it used to be his brother’s and that he’s too lazy to buy a new one

Ruggie Bucchi:

- That one kid who NEVER has money for the book fair or any other school event

- Always has to ask his classmates for some cash

- If he somehow does, then he’s one of those kids who buys Diary of the Wimpy Kid or the World Record books

- If he’s feeling cheap, he’ll buy the “cool stuff” like the chocolate scented calculator or fruit snacks 😭

- Wears oversized hoodies and basketball shorts that are clearly hand-me-downs

Jack Howl:

- That one athletic kid who’s both scary good and competitive when it comes to school games like football or soccer

- Literally the best player on his team and without him, they’re trash as hell 💀

- Tries his absolute best to support his teammates without yelling at them for how dumb they are

- “KICK THE FUCKING BALL! DO YOUR LEGS EVEN WORK?!”

- Wears the school’s jersey just to show off his “school spirit”

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

- The kid who sell snacks for “charity” but everyone knows he’s keeping the money to himself

- If you don’t have cash or try to negotiate with him, the only thing he’ll do is raise the price up

- “What do you mean you don’t have ten bucks? I can see it in your pocket.”

- Just bring nothing with you, he’ll doing anything to steal your stuff 🤭

- Wears a collar shirt with a tie and khakis that have pockets to keep his glasses and money in

Jade Leech:

- The kid who puts on a goody two shoes facade but is actually a stoner

- Only does “safe” drugs like vape but occasionally smokes weed, mostly in the bathroom or behind the school 🌬

- Can play it off and hide the scent when he’s high, teachers never suspect anything from him

- No one really cares to stop him unless he gets caught or something idk

- Wears clothing that either makes him look like a businessman or a junky, there’s nothing in between

Floyd Leech:

- The kid that’s plays basketball or volleyball just because he’s hella tall, and is actually good at the sports but doesn’t put much effort into them

- Always stays behind after gym, even though the teacher tries to make him leave for his next class 😬

- “I swear after this one shot, I’ll go to class.” *He never made that shot*

- Will jump you no matter who or where you are, and will get angry if you step on his new shoes

- Wears the jersey of any famous team with the latest pair of Jordan sneakers

Scarabia

Kalim Al Asim:

- VSCO girl at best, don’t lie to me now 🤡

- The only words he knows are “And I oop– sksksk.” and “Save the turtles.”

- Walks during a track meet while everyone else is running and sweating hard, the teacher doesn’t care either

- Doesn’t really do anything in gym but talks to his classmates and stands near the water fountain to refill his Hydro flask

- Wears tie dye shirts with cute scrunchies

Jamil Viper:

- That one quiet kid who everybody thinks is a serial killer but he’s actually not, I swear

- He just wants school to be over and spend the rest of his summer relaxing 😔

- Although he shouldn’t abuse his “power,” he‘ll move his hands in his pockets or backpack to make it look like he’s about to pull a weapon out.

- “Chill, I’m just grabbing a pencil.” *Everyone in the class started crying*

- Wears dark colored hoodies that intimidates people but are actually comfy

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

- The baddie popular girl 😌💅✨

- Arrives to school late with a Starbucks in hand from his local Target

- Fixes himself every 5 seconds like reapplying his lipgloss or spraying Bath and Body Works cherry blossom perfume

- Uses acrylic nails and long hair extensions as weapons during a cat fight

- Wears a crop top with ripped jeans and those clout sunglasses

Rook Hunt:

- That creepy guy in the hallways who tries to get your attention, even if you don’t know him

- Scares people when he says, “Ayo, where my hug at?” 🥶💯

- Uses at least 10 cans of Axe body spray a week after gym class, which stinks up the locker rooms

- Waves at you if he passes your class, even walking into the room just to say hi

- Wears literally anything but always include a hat

Epel Felmier:

- The artist girl who just wants to be alone 🧑‍🎨

- Purposely draws in front of you but pretends like you’re not looking

- If you complement him, he’ll just brush it off and proceeds to diss himself

- “Thanks but I’m not THAT good at drawing, teehee.” *Insert Radio Rebel face*

- Wears a hoodie or a cardigan with big pockets to put his art supplies in

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

- I don’t even need to tell you who he is, y’all already know ahaha 🥴

- Sneaks a whole PlayStation in his backpack so he can play with it during lunch

- Is on his phone 24/7 even in class to the point where teachers don’t care anymore

- Tries to get people into anime but only to little success

- Wears a shirt of any anime character or that damn ahegao hoodie, girl bye

Ortho Shroud:

- The nerdy kid who’s known for destroying others at many games

- Plays classics like D&D, Yugioh, Pokémon, the whole shabang

- Daily Beyblade battles during recess with everyone surrounding him, the menacing aura radiates off of him

- Will steal your things if you lose to him but gives it back a week later cuz he’s sweet 🥰

- Wears light up Sketchers shoes and those Minecraft shirts you find at Old Navy

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

- The theatre kid who also goes to band practice, change my mind 👁👄👁

- Takes his role seriously when it comes to school plays and concerts, even if he gets casted as a damn tree or doesn’t go solo

- Remembers the songs and their lyrics to any musical you name, a really good singer at that too

- Plays almost every instrument, you definitely know this since you can hear him down the hallways during a test

- Wears a white button up shirt, black pants with fancy dress shoes, and top it all off with a fricking Rolex watch

Lilia Vanrouge:

- The weird guy who pranks people and vandalizes school property in every way possible

- If you ever get a textbook with a message that tells you to go to a certain page only for you to found a picture of a dick, yeah that was him 😒

- When using a Chromebook, he’ll leave a tab open on YouTube so when the next person uses it, pray that your ears will still work by tomorrow

- During lunch, he is a literal DEMON that mixes milk with chicken nuggets together and having the audacity to eat it too

- Wears an oversized raincoat or a windbreaker but idk wtf kind of things he has hiding underneath

Silver:

- That guy in class who consumes Monster energy drinks and falls asleep 99% of the time but somehow manages to pass the class 🤷

- Whenever he’s awake, he’ll talk to the teachers since he’s basically friends with them for some reason

- Writes his name out of boredom on any desk you sit on but in different places, sometimes around the corners or the sides

- Has a sixth sense because he’ll wake up if you try to draw on his face and if you did get something on him, it’s on sight

- Wears those colorful hoodies that zips all the way up to cover his face with a matching backpack, it’s pretty cool ngl

Sebek Zigvolt:

- That kid who literally knows everything about historical wars and will show it off during class

- Also has knowledge on weaponry, which has people questioning him but he’s just very dedicated on serving his country and people

- Knows how to fight and defend himself from a bitch since he spent his summer at a military boot camp, put respect on my man’s name 😤

- Honestly a great partner for a group project, actually does the given work but not the whole thing for you

- Wears anything that has camo pattern and chunky combat boots

I only made this because me and my friends were talking about our school memories so yeah. This is based from my experience so they might not be exactly accurate. Might even be a part two if you want.

[bellafragolina]

(slams door) YEEEEES YOU ARE DOING IT!!! I WANTED TO DO IT!!! HAHA here is the info!!! For the oc o metter!!!

Sugi: is a sweet and kindhearted person, but she also has a very overprotective/”mother hen” personality, she means good but sometimes it can be a lil bit to much for some people since she always want to bring the best potential of everyone. Used to work with professor Elm as a researcher about Pokémon, she is also part of the Pokémon Preservation Council focusing mainly in the protection of species in danger and their habitats. She owns now a Pokémon Day Care Center focus mainly in taking care of homeless and hurted Pokémon and giving them a new home. She knows how hard might be for some people to interact with Pokemon or have  relationships with other so she always tried to make them feel at “home” for them not to feel left out of things, for that reason she tends to train some Pokemon as "Therapy Pokemon" in case some people need it.

Kaede: He is Sugi's older brother, he is a painter/artist. Wanders in different region painting what catch his attention from landscapes to people or Pokemon, sometimes he has smalls expositions from time to time. Very shy at first but once he confortable he will talk a lil bit more, he is more into "gonna draw them in secret and then leave the drawing because I think they are cool but I can't said it" haha so have for sure if you catch his attention he will do a bunch of doodles of you, he gets stressed and anxious very easily, sleeps a lot and looks tired all the time, kinda dress messy all his clothes always have paint on them. His Pokemon where trained by Sugi for him to be protected during his journeys in case something happens (sometimes he gets in trouble) but he always avoid battles prefers his Pokemon to express themselves with artsy stuff, main partner Pokemon been a Smeargle. Loves to listen to people and their adventures that helps him get new inspiration since he loves getting new ideas, he gets embarrassed and flustered very easily!

Gabi: He is the middle child of other character I have. He has a bold personality and does not shy away from acting in a brash or aggressive manner if the situation requires it specially when it comes to defense himself or other he cares about, despite this, he is good at heart, and loyal to a fault for his friends he is usually very chill most of the time. He wants to make music and is always looking out for his lil sister, he enjoys watching videos of people he likes and plays video games, always open to do new stuff if you ask him "play tea party with cute girly outfits? yeah" "go to a mountain on fire? yep" "music battle? yep" "the most silly movie with bad effects? sure lets go" (just don't ask him to fly very high because he is afraid of heights haha open to spooky things even tho they give him she shivers haha) his Pokemon team is mostly used for making music having a Cramorant as vocals (his music is kinda like the one on the games from splatoon if you want an idea haha) and he carries around a baby Toxel like is his child sometimes he lets toxels watch videos with him while he waits on things haha. 

Sugi:

Renee adores the work that Sugi does. Sugi is so kind, and so sweet and wonderful. Renee wants to be her friend, and help her however she can! She also is such a sucker for baby Pokémon, and wants to take a million photos of the babies. And of Sugi holding the babies, because how cute!!!

Renee adores Sugi, and wants to date her so very bad. But Renee knows she's not around a lot due to her work, and worries that she would leave Sugi wanting, or without (and that's only if she returns her feelings). So she doesn't really go further than a crush and daydreaming about raising baby Pokémon together. Sigh.

Kaede:

Renee sees quiet Kaede and wants to know everything. She loves to watch Kaede draw, and drags him all over with her. Photography and art are similar, she thinks, so she wants to show him her art, and hopefully have him show her his. Hope Kaede is okay with his new shadow!

Renee can see a life with Kaede. His wanderlust aligns beautifully with hers, and she can see so much in their future, should Kaede return her feelings. She's never felt this way for anyone before, however, so she's incredibly nervous, and it takes a bit of time before she can work up the nerve to slide over a small doodle and a question

Gabi:

Renee loves music! And she loves that Gabi is always down for an adventure, bringing him along on many of her trips to photograph Pokémon in the deep wilds of the world. She's bold and brash herself, but she can get a little intimidated by how much more Gabi is.

Renee definitely admires Gabi and his strong, go-with-the-flow personality. She'll get a bit of a crush on him, but won't go after it. Again, she's a little intimidated, and worried she won't be able to keep up with Gabi should they ever get together!

~Renee

[everlune-evotide]

Hi!! @ink-fireplace-coffee here!! I have a question for/about Jasper and Jerecho! How did they meet?? Did they get along instantly or, because of their different personalities it took a while to connect? do they have fun stories about their friendship?

wooow that's def more than one question 😅 sorry

don't feel pressured to answer them all AND of course feel welcome to just rant everything you want about them!

Have a good day/night!

No worries! More than one question worked out because I just answered the first two in a different ask 🤣 great minds think alike.

Honestly Jasper and Jerecho are inseparable after they get past the clashing. Here are some misc things/memories

They start keeping journals and passing it between them with writings and drawings they collaborate on together. They stopped around 12, but Jasper still has the stack of them all.

Jasper loves reading back on them and Jerecho has turned some of their ideas into books he wants to write

They totally make forts all the time

Then Jasper gets a loft bed at 11 and then they have a permanent fort that they call “The Cave”

Jasper actually teaches Jerecho how to swim which embarrasses the heck out of him at the time

They swim all summer, and play games like whirlpool and Marco Polo and a mix of the two that they invented

They go on walks down their road. Two older boys make fun of how Jasper looks so Jerecho physically fights them one day. He gets grounded for that but the boys don’t bother them anymore

This isn’t the only time he fights an older dude to defend Jasper lol

They have outdoor movie nights with his parents and they eat way too much junk and pull all-nighters

They spend holidays like Christmas together because Jasper doesn’t really have family outside of Amber. Jasper usually gets him good gifts and he usually makes her something he thinks is lame but she always loves it. She still has his gifts on display

The Maxwell’s will also take Jasper (and Amber) on vacation with them so they have camped together a few times, stayed in a haunted hotel, boated on lakes and oceans, etc

Jasper always gets sunburnt or injured and Jerecho makes fun of her but also takes care of her in his Jerecho way

“Hey, put on your aloe, stupid.”

“Remember what happened last time you didn’t reapply sunscreen?”

“Let me see your hand. Okay, it’s fine, the cut isn’t that deep, don’t be overdramatic. I can wrap it up so you don’t have to look at it”

They play Pokémon DP together on their DS’s, and Guitar Hero on Jerecho’s Wii. Also Mario Kart on the 64

they also play with nerf guns

Once they hit 12/13, they of course enter their edgy teenager phase and start listening to way more hard rock and other music together. All Time Low is their fave

Jerecho gets his nickname “Echo” because it’s edgy and cool and they’re 12. Jasper still calls him that and she’s the only one allowed

The first time Echo hugs Jasper (he’s touch averse until like 14), it’s because Jasper passes the big reading state test at the end of their 8th grade year when she was certain she’d fail

Jasper felt arms bear hug her from behind. “I knew you could do it,” a familiar voice said.

Her stomach dropped as she realized that it was Echo that had hugged her, but when she finally had the thought to hug back, he was gone.

They go to an All Time Low concert. It’s their first one and they get terrible seats but they have a good time singing all the songs and being dorks

Joseph is their ride and he hates every second of the music but is glad his kids are having fun lol

They went to a Breaking Benjamin/Disturbed concert when they’re a little older with some other friends (Brass and Mitch) and tried to mosh. It was fun until Jasper got knocked down and practically trampled. Echo saved her lol (Brass almost fell on her)

thanks for the ask! I love these kids fhvtibvvvvfybv

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 2 - Mensonge (Lies)

Welcome again. I had been logged out from Tumblr for the whole weekend, because I was afraid of untagged spoilers, as I've seen one screenshot here accidentally, fortunately it wasn't spoilerish. And I've watched the Lies today. Again without reading other's people opinion about the episode, so I probably write things that have been said before.

I enjoyed it more than Truth. But not because it's better written, I think the overall quality of both is similar. Lies is about characters I care about more, so it's natural that the episode is automatically more interesting to me. I dislike both Luka and Jagged (to be fair the only member of the Couffaine family I like is Juleka) and that would be hard to make me caring about them, the best thing I could say about any of those characters is that I tolerate them on screen. Sometimes. Don't get me wrong, Truth was the best episode for Luka and Jagged, but they are still dull and/or annoying to me. Creators need to develop son-father relationship more to make me interested in it, that arc was too shallow in Truth.

But the post is about Adrigami episode, not Lukanette one.

I'm surprised that we got only one not very long scene with civilian Marinette. But not surprised that she's still pining over Adrien. Just like Chat is pining over Ladybug. As I'm keeping saying, it's not gonna change. But really, Marinette thinks that Adrien's life is perfect? She should know that tight schedule could be a big problem and has she forgotten what terrible father is Gabriel? Of course she doesn't know details we know, but she should be aware that he isn't as good parent like her own. So probably her enamored brain can't see bad sides of life of her loved one. She still can't think rational when it comes to him. Another reason why she should stop putting him on a pedestal. We need some friendly Adrienette so badly, we need to see Adrien telling her more bad things in his life. He isn't used to complain, but I think he needs to tell someone the truth about his family life. I hope Marinette will be that person.

I had been tired of clown Chat in Truth, but this episode lets us to see the situation from his point of view and now I understand more why he behaves like that. I think that he tries to hide from Ladybug how much he miss spending time with her that way. He is aware that's because of her new responsibility and he doesn't want to make her feel bad for it. Those scenes were so sweet. How much Chat wants an Akuma to appear just to see his lady. Not very noble, but I can't blame him. It only shows that Adrien is a normal human being. We all are selfish from time to time and it's healthy (you only have to find a good balance, being as selfish as Chloé and as selfless as Luka is not good).

Geez, why they can't put the right title of the piece? That's a different composition than that one used back in season 2, but the smartphone's screen says the same. And none of them is actually Raindrop Prelude. This is Raindrop Prelude. They are not even any of Chopin's preludes. I won't be surprised if both are not Fryderyk Chopin's compositions either (although I haven't heard all the solo piano pieces composed by him, so I can't be sure). I love classical music, so I'd love to know what pieces Adrien's playing! By the way, I recommend to listen to all of the 24 preludes, they are usually very short but interesting compositions. If you're too lazy to listen to all, check out number 20 at least, that's a pure, very atmospheric, beauty. One of my favourites melodies ever created.

I have always thought that Adrigami has more chemistry and it's generally more entertaining to watch than Lukanette (sorry stans, but you probably don't even follow me and read my posts,  there's a reason why I'm warning that my blog is not Luka and Lukanette friendly in its description). I feel that in this episode as well. Absolutely it's not a perfect relationship and it can't be, as Adrien is still into Ladybug. It's clear that Kagami is the one who really cares, Adrien is more distant. It seems that he's abashed of Kagami's physical intimacy, like he can't be open to her when he's still in love with Ladybug. That was really sad to hear Kagami's words that she's lying to be more often with him and he lies to not spend time with her. But relationship can't work if only one side is invested in it and they both need to learn it. They have some things in common, I like how they spending time together, so I'm sure they would work much better as friends. I'm sorry for Kagami and I wish her a better boyfriend who would love her truly. In some way it was a repeat of Truth, as we've seen Adrien leaving Kagami all of sudden, because of Akuma's attacks, but this time it's not as heavily portrayed like it's not working only because of superhero responsibility, that I didn't like in the previous episode. Another reason why I liked how Adrigami is shown more.

I really, really loved that we've learnt something new about Kagami and that's amazing it's something I have in common with her. I'm really surprised, since she didn't seem to have an artistic soul before. I also love seeing she likes draw animals, it's like me, I'm trying practise it. I enjoy drawing animals (and creatures like Kwamis or Pokémon) more than humans. But at the same time I feel angry at her mother. How could she dare to say that Kagami isn't good enough? Trying to kill a child's hobby is always unforgivable. She's much better than me (I'm a little jealous, but that's not the first time when a teen has much better skill than me), but my family and some others I know in real life often say that I'm talented and some people try to convince me to take pay commissions. That’s me who knows the best than I'm not skilled enough to take money for my art (they don't know really good artists in person and they don’t draw themselves, so no wonder they are not aware that my works aren't that good they think). Maybe some day, but not now, so I only enjoy drawing gifts for others. I'm also got interested in a real French artist she mentioned - Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec and I've seen some of his works. Very good for Miraculous for mentioning artist like him, I have never heard about him before, but maybe French students learn about him in school.

Seeing Adrien making Chat's pose was hilarious. I'm sure it's food for true selves trope supporters, but I also agree with Kagami that both model poses and Chat's poses are not ALL Adrien poses. He's more than that. That seemed like he has problems with being natural when he's on the pressure. He's learned how to make model poses, but I also think that when he is in full clown mode is also an act. But that's a mask which he has putted all by himself. In which he tries to be as much different than his public image as he can. Of course being dorky is also a true Adrien side, but not all the time. Being just a cute and polite boy is also true him. It seems that Adrien is not aware of it.

Marinette's lucky charm bracelet is an akumatised object once more. That and the fact she was asking him what he was doing on the boat tell us that Kagami probably think that Adrien is in love with Marinette (it could make also her wonder what stop them from being together if she knows that Marinette likes him as well).

I also liked her reaction to imminent breaking up more. It's more human reaction in my opinion. Some anger, but not too much. She says she doesn't want to see him for a while and that's completely understandable. Adrien has broken her heart, so she need some time to take care of herself without being interrupted by him. I'm going to say something that could be seen controversial, but in my opinion her attitude is way more healthy than Luka's. He still waits for a girl who clearly likes another boy much, but she's trying to really give up on him. And I would like to see a scene in which she says him that Marinette is not worth his waiting, he should be open for another love instead. Uff, I was really worried that they might kill Adrien and Kagami characters. But nothing really bad happened in the episode between them, everything was in-character. Of course salters will still find reasons to hate Kagami, they can say she's possessive towards him (that's true to some extent, but I think it's not really toxic, as she's still cares about his true feelings).

I need to say that Lies is the worst S4 Akuma design we've seen till now. Riposte and Oni-chan were much better. Also the battle was the worst part of this episode in my opinion. It wasn't completely bad, but it felt somewhat boring to me. I definitely enjoyed fights against Truth and Furious Fu more. The thing about that I liked the most what how they made use of Fang.

So the season 4 version of Chat Noir's transformation theme is exactly the same they used in the Shanghai special. It wasn't obvious, since Ladybug's one is a different one than that in the show. I noticed that that Ladybug's theme feels more like a new composition which only uses parts of an original version, while Chat's is clearly "just" an arrangement of the theme we know since season 1. Maybe that's because it's supposed to symbolise that she has even more responsibility now, as she's the Guardian as well. Chat's role hasn't changed that much as hers. I also think the new arrangement sounds cooler, it's more electric guitar-driven. I can't wait to get any of the episodes in which there's his transformation sequence with 5.1 audio to rip it.

All three released episodes are nice for Ladynoir a lot, their scenes are all sweet and wholesome. It almost feel like Ladynoir is close to happen. But I feel that's just calm before the storm. Marinette hasn't reached to her worst moment yet. I'm sure Ladybug will have more breakdowns like that in the season 3 finale.

Three episodes aired and I'm not amazed by any of them. But I don't want to be salty, I'm not worried about that. That's true for season 3 as well, I enjoy the second part of the season more as well. It's important to save the best episodes for later. And I have never expected that I would love all the S4 episodes, despite of pre-release statements, it's impossible. I'm not disappointed. Yet. Just give me some Adrienette food. Please.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 5

The weeks that passed brought changes to San Diego. The weather was starting to cool down, although not enough for kids to go to school in coats. Still, it was evident that the summer season was ending in the northern hemisphere. The sticking feeling of humidity that wavered around in the air was dying down and being replaced with brisk, refreshing breezes.

Vic smiled to himself as he sat in the backyard of his house. He loved the cooler seasons of the year. The town he had lived in previously was always so cold, albeit gloomy, but Vic enjoyed it. He saw the sun on the rare occasions that it wasn’t hidden behind clouds and enjoyed the cool temperatures that happened because of that. Then he moved to California and the sun was always shining bright. He had no idea if the state ever saw temperatures lower than eighty degrees.

But today was a counter to that thought. He sat on the swing set his father had built in the backyard and lazily rocked back and forth, enjoying the cool air that blew through his hair and tickled his cheeks.

It was peaceful in Vic’s neighborhood. Even though it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, there was hardly any activity on the streets. Maybe families were sleeping in, or maybe they had gone out before he got outside. Either way he was enjoying the quiet that surrounded him.

Vic had had a good week. Ever since he received the picture from Kellin, the two boys had been leaving drawings and little notes in their shared desks. Vic was nervous that Kellin would have stopped after he got Vic’s first picture, but when he got to his classroom the day after and saw the thank you note from his new friend, he knew that he needed to continue being his secret pen pal.

So the boys kept it up for days. Then days became weeks and they were still leaving little things in each other’s desks. Sometimes it was a random drawing they’d made in art class or during a brain break, and other times they were asking each other important questions:

Do you like cake or pie better?

What’s your favorite color?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

I’m sorry I’m asking so many questions. I just wanna get to know my new friend :)

The boys quickly learned how to communicate with each other to make each other’s day. It started with Kellin asking Vic random questions to which Vic always answered. Then the blond boy would draw a picture that corresponded with the answer he was given. When Vic had answered that his favorite color was red Kellin drew him a picture of Pikachu in a red rocket ship with a red flower crown on its head. Vic kept that picture in a sheet protector in his binder with the other pictures Kellin had given him.

And of course Vic drew him pictures back. It almost seemed like a competition to see who could outdo the other with their artistic abilities, but neither boy saw it that way. They just wanted to show that they cherished the friendship the other had offered. What better way to do that than cute pictures of their favorite things?

Vic leaned back on the swing and looked at the sky. He had a genuine smile on his face as the thought about his interactions with Kellin. He never would have thought that he’d make a friend in the first week of school, let alone keep a friend, but he had and he was happy. He was genuinely happy.

His family of course noticed the boy’s happiness. They didn’t comment on it though, for fear that it would make him revert back to his gloomy self. Still, they enjoyed seeing the oldest son happy when he got home from school. He was even beginning to talk more at home, something neither parent thought would happen.

Mrs. Fuentes looked out the sliding glass door into the backyard and watched her son on the swing. She smiled at his smile. She wasn’t sure why her son was so happy, but as long as he was out of his funk, she wasn’t going to question it. All that mattered was that her boy was doing better than ever before.

The other boy involved in this friendship was also doing better than before, although it was harder to tell. Kellin was always a happy child and rarely seemed to get upset, so it was hard to tell if he was having a bad day. Even his mother couldn’t see it unless he told her outright. So when the friendly relationship with Vic started no one noticed how much Kellin needed it.

Kellin appreciated how much Vic seemed to be drawn to him. He knew the new student was wary of making friends, so he felt flattered that he was the only one who could capture his attention. It made him feel special and wanted. Out of all the students in third grade, Vic had chosen him. That thought always made him smile.

The two continued to talk underneath their tree at recess. Vic always assumed that Kellin would leave one day when he got bored and go play with his friends, but the blond boy showed no signs of doing so. In fact, Kellin looked forward to sitting with Vic every day. He loved talking about nerdy things that his other friends had no interest in. Jack and Jesse thought Pokémon was nerdy and laughed at the kids with backpacks or clothing that represented the series. Kellin, not wanting to be included in the taunting, always kept silent, something that he regretted each time it happened.

But with Vic he could talk freely about the series, and about anything else he wanted to. Vic was a great listener and let Kellin talk about whatever he wanted. Kellin knew it was because the other boy wasn’t keen on talking, but that didn’t make a difference to either of them. Vic was always happy to listen to his new friend speak. And boy, did Kellin speak.

Anyone who spent time with Kellin knew he sociable. He wouldn’t consider himself an extrovert like others would, but his ADD made him susceptible to speaking fast and moving faster. He found an interest in many different things and was always excited to talk about them to anyone who’d listen. Even complete strangers. There was one moment in his life when he saw a teenager with bright purple hair and immediately went up to them to ask them about it.

“That’s so cool! I wish I could do that! You’re so lucky!” he had said to the unknown boy in the middle of the grocery store. The teenage boy just chuckled and thanked him for the complement before walking off to continue his shopping.

Some people thought this side of Kellin was strange, but not Vic. Vic liked that Kellin took control of the conversation and didn’t force him to talk when he didn’t want to. It made him feel comfortable knowing he could add in when the anxiety he sometimes felt lessened. Vic also liked how interested Kellin was in things he hadn’t seen before. Kellin would ask many questions that Vic took his time answering. He would have stuttered out an answer to anyone else, but Kellin made him feel comfortable enough to come out of his shell and talk about himself or his interests more freely.

Both boys appreciated each other so much, even if they’d never said that before. Instead, they continued with their notes in each other’s desks and their talks at recess that each party looked forward to every day.

But the Monday after the that cool day on the swings changed things for Vic and Kellin.

The two friends had spent the morning in their homeroom classes learning the respective content before they went to specials. Kellin had art that day while Vic had music. Neither was complaining; both boys enjoyed starting their week in their favorite fine arts class.

Kellin sat in art listening to their teacher, Mrs. Miller, talk about the day’s project. “I want you all to create a picture of a happy moment in your life. We’ll use pencils to sketch it then we’ll add watercolors next week. Start by brainstorming and when you have your idea write it down so you don’t forget it. I’ll come by and ask you some questions before you start your sketch.”

Kellin smiled to himself as Mrs. Miller talked. He was excited about this project. A happy moment in his life? He had so many he could sketch! Happy moments just seemed to come naturally to him, so he wasted no time writing his ideas on the scratch piece of paper the art teacher had handed out.

By the time Mrs. Miller came over to his table Kellin had six ideas he was passionate about drawing. There was his first visit to the beach when he was five, the first time he rode a bike, a random day he played with Jack and Jesse, the one summer he went to a waterpark, last Christmas when he got a remote-controlled dinosaur, and the day he made a new friend.

“You have a lot here, Kellin,” Mrs. Miller said. “Do you know which one you want to draw?”

Kellin shook his head. “I like all of them!” He hadn’t realized how much of an attachment he had to each of the memories. He frowned. “How am I supposed to pick?”

“Well, when you think of the time you were the most happy, what do you think about? Whatever it is, draw that.” Kellin thought the words over as Mrs. Miller left to speak to another student.

What was the happiest moment in his life? How could he figure that out before class ended? The answer was he couldn’t. Specials ended before Kellin had made a decision. That frustrated the boy, and he took that frustration with him to lunch.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jack asked when he noticed his blond friend was surprisingly in a bad mood. As usual, Jack, Jesse, and Kellin were sitting behind each other at their respective lunch tables so they could turn and talk to each other when they were done eating.

“Mrs. Miller wants us to draw a picture of a happy moment in our life,” Kellin answered, “and I can’t think of what I wanna draw.”

“But you’re like, the happiest person I know,” the brunette said. Jesse nodded along. “How can you not think of something?”

“I did, but I have so many that I can’t pick just one. And Mrs. Miller won’t let me draw all of my ideas.” Kellin huffed at the end of his sentence. He was annoyed that his teacher didn’t allow him to draw more than one idea, no matter how much he begged.

“Man, I’m gonna hate this project,” Jesse said with a shake of his head. Jack looked to him and nodded in agreement. If Kellin was having so much trouble, then the two of them were goners.

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do?” Kellin asked in annoyance. This wasn’t about them, it was about him, and he needed advice.

“Just close your eyes and point to something,” Jack suggested. Kellin pouted. He would have loved to do that if he didn’t feel so connected to all of the things on that list. Blindly picking one wouldn’t sit right with him. He wanted to genuinely draw the moment.

He explained this to his friends who offered less than helpful solutions. They meant well but Kellin was stubborn. He wanted it to be his way, but his brain and Mrs. Miller were making that difficult.

He kept up with his frustration as he went out to the playground with his class. He kicked rocks down the sidewalk that lead to the jungle gym and swing sets, opting to walk away from the tree he had sat under for weeks. He couldn’t be bothered with sitting still; he needed to do something to help this feeling building up in his chest.

Ms. Barnes’ homeroom came outside shortly after Kellin’s class had. Vic walked toward his familiar spot but was surprised to see that his new friend wasn’t there. Usually when one of their classes came outside before the other, the boy would be under the tree waiting for his friend. But today there was no Kellin. Where did he go? Was he abandoning him? It was about time, Vic thought sadly.

Vic wanted to sit in silence and wallow in his broken heart, but he heard a sound that drew his attention.

The brunette turned his head to the left and saw his new friend. Kellin was seemingly upset and was kicking gravel into the metal frame of the swing set, enjoying the harsh clicks and dings of the two objects meeting.

Vic, unsure why his always bubbly friend was in such a mood, slowly walked over to him. “Kellin?” he said softly. The blond boy ignored him; he didn’t want to talk. He was so frustrated that the only sounds he could hear were the rocks hitting metal and his heavy breathing as he kicked harder and harder.

“Kellin?” Vic tried again. When the boy didn’t respond Vic took it upon himself to get his attention. He put a calming hand on his friend’s shoulder which startled him. Kellin let out a high-pitched yelp as his body jerked up. He hadn’t realized someone was behind him.

“Sorry,” Vic said sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kellin just huffed and turned his head away from his friend. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” Kellin muttered.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The bright-eyed boy blew an angry breath from his nose. “No,” he answered, “I wanna swing.” Without another word Kellin took a few steps toward an empty swing and sat in the seat. He wanted to continue kicking rocks so that’s what he did. He sat on the seat and kicked the gravel underneath him, not intending to rock himself back and forth but achieving that anyway.

Vic didn’t know what to do. Kellin hadn’t invited him to swing with him, but he didn’t want to leave his upset friend alone. With a sigh he made a decision and sat in the swing next to Kellin. He hoped that Kellin wouldn’t tell him to go away, but in actuality, he was glad that Vic didn’t abandon him.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, neither boy knowing what to say. This was foreign to both of them; they had been speaking to each other since the day they met. It was all different and uncomfortable, especially to Vic. He never knew Kellin could be so quiet and that alone worried him. Whatever was bothering him needed to be put out in the open so he could have his friend back.

“Did you wanna talk?” Vic eventually asked.

Kellin sighed at the brown-eyed boy’s question. He didn’t want to talk, but he knew that Vic cared enough to stay with him while he was upset. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to open up to him.

“Vic?” The other boy hummed. “What’s a happy moment from your life?”

Vic looked at Kellin with furrowed brows. “Huh?”

Kellin sighed before he began his rambling. “Mrs. Miller is making us draw happy moments from our lives and I have a few but she only wants me to draw one, but I don’t think that’s fair to the other moments because they all mean so much to me. Jack and Jesse told me to just close my eyes and pick one, but I don’t wanna just draw a random moment that I didn’t really wanna draw in the first place, you know?”

Vic nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“It’s just so frustrating because so many good things have happened to me, but I feel so stupid that I can’t just pick one.” Kellin frowned when he was done, looking down at his shoes that were still kicking the rocks below.

“I’m sorry.”

Kellin quirked an eyebrow. “For what?”

Vic shrugged. He wasn’t sure why he apologized, but he knew it made people feel better so why not?

It looked as if his kind gesture worked because Kellin’s lips finally turned up in a small smile. “Well, thanks.” Vic smiled back before he nudged his feet off the ground and began swinging slowly. Kellin looked at his friend rocking back and forth. “So what would you draw?” he asked.

Vic looked to his left. “For Mrs. Miller?” Kellin nodded. “Uh…”

The brunette had to think about it. It wasn’t easy for him to find happy moments in life, but knowing he had to before the next day when he had art put a bit of pressure on him. What would he draw?

“I guess I’d draw a picture of me reading to my brother. He loves when we read together, and it makes me happy too. Or I’d draw a picture of my new house. I finally have my own room and that’s pretty cool. Or maybe when we went to Universal over the summer. That was a lot of fun.”

Kellin nodded along as Vic spoke. “Okay, but which one of those was the happiest moment?”

Vic stopped swinging and looked up at the sky. There were some light clouds passing over the sun and a cool breeze rustling through the trees around them. It reminded him of the good feeling he had over the weekend; that even though he was at school and not sitting in his backyard, he was still content.

“None of them,” he answered with a soft smile. Kellin opened his mouth to continue his questioning, but Vic cut him off before he could start. “I mean, getting my own room was nice, and Universal was fun, and I always read to my brother so that’s a happiness that never leaves, but they aren’t the happiest things that have happened.”

“So what is?”

Vic bit his lip, embarrassed to admit the reason why he had been so happy lately, but fighting through it to say, “The day we met.”

Kellin’s wyes went wide. “Really?” The brown-eyed boy nodded. “Why?”

“Because that was the day I made a friend.”

“At this school?”

“Yeah…and ever.” Vic mumbled the last part, his cheeks beginning to burn.

“Ever?” Kellin was confused again. He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought over what his friend was telling him. “Wait, I’m your first friend?”

Vic nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re kinda my only friend.”

Kellin didn’t say anything. What could he say? What was he going to say when the shock wore off? His new friend had never had a friend before. Was that weird? Was it because he was weird? All of these questions swirled around Vic’s mind as he watched the boy next to him go through different confused expressions.

“Kellin?”

“Does that mean I’m your best friend?”

Vic blew out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shrugged. He didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t know anything about best friends since Kellin was the first and only friend he’d ever had. “I guess?”

The blond boy’s eyes lit up and became brighter than before. His lips broke out into a wide smile. “Oh wow that’s so cool! I think you’re my best friend too! I mean, Jack and Jesse are too but I don’t like playing with them as much as I like playing with you. And we can talk about Pokémon and I don’t feel like a dork. Yeah, I think you’re my best friend too.”

Vic couldn’t help but smile back. The content feeling turned into one of utter happiness. Not only was Kellin in a better mood but he had admitted that they were best friends. It was enough to make the grumpiest person feel warmth in their heart.

The two boys stayed on the swings and talked about their weekend. Of course, that meant discussing the latest episodes of Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh. When recess was over, they went inside their classrooms and left each other notes in their desks, hoping to continue the conversations from outside.

The next day Vic went to art and made good on his words from the day before. He drew a picture of himself sitting with Kellin under their tree. Both boys had smiles on their faces as they read the book in Vic’s hands. And since Vic had known exactly what he wanted to draw before he got to class that day, he was able to make two copies of the picture: one to turn in to Mrs. Miller that he drew in class and one he’d drawn the night before with more detail to give to Kellin with a note written on the back.

For my best friend

Kellin received the picture the day after and kept it in a folder with all of the other pictures and notes he’d gotten from Vic. The following Monday he went back to art and drew a picture of him and Vic soaring through the sky on the swings. It wasn’t necessarily the happiest moment in his life, but he had too many moments with Vic to just pick one.

[this-life-so-far]

Title 1

Growing Up: The Early Years  

The earliest memory I have of growing up is being in the back of my dad’s white GMC truck and hearing the opening guitar riff of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” being blared on the cheap speakers that were in the back seat with me and my sister. I’ll never forget just looking out the window and being “happy” when hearing the music and not having to care about what was going on in my family. In this memory I have, I vividly remember my father driving down the mountain heading towards Marion NC. In my eyes, the window was the perfect frame for a stage and every blade of grass that was outside the window were dying fans wanting to meet me. It’s odd that I’ve recently just started thinking about this memory lately, however it seems to be one of the few memories I can think of from my childhood that actually aren’t filled with some kind of dread. Whether that’s good or bad, it’s honest. There’s a certain innocence behind the memory and I think that’s why I cherish it so dearly. Within the innocence is something magical and I think I’ve always carried that feeling with me throughout my life.  

Growing up, my family was poor. We lived in an old run-down trailer that had holes in the floors and busted-out windows that had plastic put over them to makeshift a window. We never had money, sometimes no food and sometimes no love. I know my parents tried their hardest and I’m just grateful that they provided a roof over our heads. The trailer would decline in shape over the years, but growing up in it, I never noticed how poor we were at certain times. I had toys, I had video games, but sometimes I wouldn’t have food. The necessity that any child shouldn’t have to worry about; however, one thing that I had was music. Music would become, and still is, the foundation of how I view the world in many different ways. One of my fondest memories was when my mother surprised my sister one Christmas with a CD/Cassette player. The CD player was the nicest thing in our trailer for the longest time. Along with the CD player, my mother bought her a bunch of CDs from one of those weird subscription services that were in the back of magazines in the late 90s. My mother and dad had picked out a bunch of 80s hair -metal CDs from the 20 something CDs you got from this subscription service. After seeing all of the Def Leppard, ZZ Top, and Guns N Roses CDs that were littered through the box, my sister came across her portion of the CDs. My sister’s portion of the CDs consisted of Spice Girls, NSYNC, Jordan Knight, Britney Spears, and a CD that she quickly tossed away that would later become one of my most prized possessions which was a Backstreet Boys CD.  

After my sister neglected the CD for some time, I would slowly start listening to it and getting that feeling I had looking out the window of my dad’s truck and pretending there was an arena of people out there waiting for me. When I would hear songs like “As Long As You Love Me” or “Quit Playing Games with my Heart” I would dance and sing in my home and people would notice me. I never had that much attention growing up, so imagine what was going through the mind of a six-year-old performing in front of his family and them actually noticing. It was an escape and one that I was proud of. If I got sad (which happened a lot during my childhood) I would put on songs like “All I Have to Give” or “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” and just sit back and think about how it felt like I lost something. I was a six-year-old kid at the time who couldn’t have lost too much besides a Power Rangers toy or a Pokémon card, however, I remember hearing these ballads and becoming sad. I knew there was some emotion of love coming from the songs, but I didn’t know what it meant to me. I’m not even sure how to describe the feeling now, I just knew if things were bad in the home; I could put on the slow songs and hideaway crying while singing the chorus and if things were good, I could put on the “funky” songs and dance and be the center of attention. It was the music that helped me escape the chaos of everyday life. Even at this young age, I was ready to “woo” the girl of my dreams into  

My mother was always my biggest fan. When she was in her right mind, there was no one else in the world that could make me feel as special as she could make me feel. I loved more than my mother, but when she was on one of her binges, she quickly became my biggest enemy. I can remember so many nights watching my mom pass out on the floor, in a restaurant, or even falling asleep standing upright while cooking for me and my sister. I would find out later in my life that my mother used substances to keep her away from her past. Thankfully instead of turning to substances like my mother to hide from the ugly past, I turned to music and that helped keep me straight through a lot of rough times in my life. My mother did love me with everything she had in her. I have no doubts about that. I just wish that I could’ve had the mother I knew she could be all the time. She was someone who is special. I believe that if she didn’t have an addiction that she would’ve turned out to be someone who could’ve made a difference in the world. She was kind, beautiful, intelligent, and everything that I strive to be to this day still, however, she carried around a burden that never got any easier to carry.  

Even as a child, I wanted to help my mom carry that burden, no matter the cost. I remember being young and my mother asking me to help her look for my father’s pain pills. I knew that if I found them and she took some of them, she would play with me and be the “super-mom” I knew she was capable of being. Needless to say, many days when my dad was at work and my sister was at my grandparent’s home, me and my mother would spend the entire day tearing up our small little trailer apart looking for that magical little orange bottle of pills. I knew every time she would find them. You would hear a little giggle that was followed by the sounds of pills shaking back and forth in the bottle. I’ll always remember those giggles and the little smiles. I knew my mother was happy finding the pills and I was just happy that she was happy. I wanted a playmate during this time. I never had friends over because even at the age of 6ish I was embarrassed by our house and the conditions we lived in, so I needed a playmate and someone to watch me sing and dance for them.

I was always afraid of my dad. I’m not sure exactly why. He never was intentionally mean to me or my sister, he was just never really involved either. My father would come home from work and go straight to his bedroom and shut the door. It seemed like the only time he was up; he was fussing with my mother about the pills she had found and taken. I never appreciated that from my father in the younger part of childhood. I thought he was trying to make my mother not love me any more by not letting her have the pills that transformed her into “super-mom.” I really wish I had more to say about my father during this part of my childhood, however, it just seems like he wasn’t involved with me or my sister until a little later in our lives. I just know that if you made him mad and he came at you with the belt, he would be the s#!t out of you (there’s no nicer way to put it.) If that ever happened, it was time to cuddle up to the speaker of my sister’s CD player and cut on a ballad by Backstreet Boys. I used music to self-heal myself even back then. By the time we would get our whippings from our father, my mother could be found passed out somewhere. No one was there for us.  

My sister was gone a lot during this time. She spent a lot of time with my grandparents during the summer days and almost every weekend with them during school time. I always loved my sister. I still love her and miss her like crazy. I know that with all of my heart. I’m just not sure how I felt about her growing up during this part of my childhood. My sister was made out to be a “golden child” of the entire family. She was pretty, nice, very smart, and she could actually sing too. She even had her own glamour shots done during this time and was deemed to be “destined for greatness” according to our peers. This left me estranged. How could I have any attention on me when she was that damn good? It wasn’t fair. She was better than me on all levels. I just felt like a forgotten puppy that someone left behind because they couldn’t care for it anymore. All I needed now was for someone to throw me in a van and take me away from my home and put me in a strange place (that would happen a little later.) I honestly don’t know if my sister ever knew how I felt about her growing up around this time. She would later protect me from a lot of evil caused by my parents, but during this time period of my childhood, she was my biggest enemy.  

That never seemed to deter me from finding new ways to find attention. I know it sounds selfish, but as a kid, I craved love and affection. I needed it so I could build a solid foundation for my future self. I remember being younger and drawing a cartoon. I’m honestly not sure what the cartoon was but my mother was blown away by the ability I had to draw at a young age. After I amazed her with one of my cartoons, I just kept drawing. I remember vividly drawing pictures of Pokémon, SpongeBob, and even members of Backstreet Boys just hoping for her approval. I would spend hours on these drawings and once I completed them, I would rush to my parents to show them off. Years later when going through their things after a move, I would find where they saved some pictures I drew of Link from Legend of Zelda and that’s always meant a lot to me. They were quick to dismiss them, but they never threw them away to my knowledge. It was a weird dynamic, getting behind the scenes love, just give it to me now like they were with my sister damn it.  I needed it to be stable because all around there were constant moments of doubt.  

Within times of doubt, there was always something that kept me going. Just the tiniest little thing that would make me feel an endless amount of love. One night I remember vividly was my mother driving me around looking for Pokémon cards. She didn’t have a license and didn’t really drive often, but she knew how much I wanted them after getting my first Arcanine card from a girl in 1st grade and she took the risk to drive me around Spruce Pine looking for them. I was scared because looking now it’s questionable whether she was even sober when driving around with me in the front seat, but I just remember so vividly using passing lights from the neighborhood and town to light the card up so I could continue to look at the card. The card is long gone in my collection, but that memory is priceless because it just reminds me that my mother and father did have pure hearts despite the substance abuse issues.  

There substance abuse issues would later lead to domestic discord and violence. One of the earliest encounters I remember from this time in my youth was when me and my father went to a yard sale. At the yard sale, I found some Mario Kart toys. The toys were of Bowser and Yoshi inside their karts if you were wondering. I was just in awe because Mario Kart 64 was a game my family always played together and to have toys based on the game, seemed like a foreign concept to me for some reason. I was eager to get back home to show my mother the toys, and when me and my father arrived home, I ran in to show off the toys. My mother acted like she cared but as soon as my father walked in, they started arguing. The arguing went on for some time, but I didn’t pay attention to it. I took my toys in the hallway and began playing with them. The stretch of hallway connecting my parent’s room to the living room was Rainbow Road and I was insisting on playing on this makeshift track for as long as possible.  

After some time of arguing in the living room, my father decided he had enough and took off to his bedroom. Within moments my mother was chasing behind him and berating him to the fullest of her lung capacity. After my father slammed the door in my mother’s face, my mother went off and ran and got a butcher’s knife out of the kitchen and started charging at the door. My father had opened the door to see what my mother was doing and the next thing I know; she’s charging at him yelling “I’m going to slit your goddamn throat Pat.” I feared for my father and began screaming and crying. My father shut the door and locked it and after minutes of my mother kicking at the door, then finally she started stabbing the door with the knife. This was after my father had put his body up against the door to hold it shut so my mother couldn’t get into the room. I was crying and running away leaving my precious Mario Kart toys in the floor and after some time my mother quit stabbing the door and left the area. I don’t remember anything after that hardly other than my father putting up stickers and Pokémon poster on the bedroom door so DSS wouldn’t see the stab marks on the door. It’s so bizarre how you can remember the confrontation but can’t remember hardly anything about the cool-down period.  

Thankfully no Mario Kart toys were harmed during this incident, only a child’s sanity. Times like these were the reason I truly hated my sister while we were growing up. She got to be away at my grandparent’s home, and I was stuck in the middle of the chaos. Don’t get me wrong, there were weekends that were perfect for a child to enjoy, but those weekends would get drowned out by the weekends I just mentioned in this incident. I had no protection during these incidents, but somehow, I was the one going to each parent to try and cheer them up. It’s just so cruel and unfair that I felt I had to be a support for both parents and try to pretend that everything was okay, especially while my sister was taking her weekend trips to Wal-Mart and restaurants with my grandparents. She was also getting NSYNC shirts too from them, where the hell was my Backstreet Boys shirt.   

[yoohyeon]

Tag by the queen @leejooheons 💕💖 Also sorry guys I talk to much jhgjhghjb

how has your day been?

Good ! I’m tired, but I keep myself awake and happy while drawing, listening to music and watching tv ☺️ Except a little bad news but it’s okay it dosen’t bother me that much !

what was the last thing that made you smile?

Not sure I smile a lot to forget everything shitty in my life, but The last genuine smile I had was when I lay beside Sowon and kiss her little forehead because she was too cute to handle 😢

what’s keeping you entertained these days?

Listening to music, drawing, Watching Pretty little liars for the 5 times in my life (I only have 2 season home tho 😭), Fairy Tail like always, fruit basket, Playing Pokémon mystery dungeon, but I’m stuck so I stopped ihvhvjhgj, playing other Pokémon games and my other switch games, Watching Achievement Hunter videos (a fucking lot of them), Tyranitartube videos, kpop videos, I keep myself really busy because I get bored really easily jhvjhvjhb

if you are in some kind of quarantine/self-isolation, is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time?

Write my fucking book 😩 It’s been like almost a month since I wrote because I was sick I have to get to it soon 😩Also write other story/ Fic I have. I would like to draw a lot and get better but that’s no happening we all know that I’m too lazy jhgjhghjb but Me in quarantine is nothing different from me working 2 days a week normally so... I won’t achieve anything just cause I have 2 more days to do things jhgjhghjb

post a selfie! if you’re comfortable with that

It’s really bad, but I took like 3 and I’m suffering so I’ll just post the less ugly one jhvkhgchgjv

I tag : @ahchuuu @uyeau @lellilotti @kingparkjinyoung @wonsheon @sphynxe @sichengsbimbo @spearmint-tea @hirophantomhive

[defeatedbyamerechild]

To Silver and Giovanni-- what's your favorite memory of each other?

Giovanni: My favorite memory of Silver… Whoa… I never thought about this… I don’t really know what to say, there are many good memories, of course! Ever since the day he was born… Heh. I remember as if it was yesterday! He was so tiny as a baby, I felt like I might hurt him by accident just by holding him… I didn’t hold him that much, actually, because I was afraid. Ariana used to hold him all the time, but I started holding him later, when he was almost a year old. Yes, those are good memories! Oh, also, here’s a good one! Yes, maybe this is my favorite one… It was his first contact with a Pokémon! I was training my Nidoking in the backyard and Silver was playing inside… I was battling Petrel! And then, in the middle of the battle, Silver shows up running to talk to me and show me a drawing! But I was all the way across the backyard, so in order to reach me, he had to cross the battlefield! And he was just a small child, he was five, I think… So he had no idea it could be dangerous… Hehehe, that kid… He wasn’t afraid of those big Pokémon at all… Pff. To think he’d grow up to be such a big Torchic eh? Well, that doesn’t matter. As soon as I saw him running in the middle of the battle, I screamed at Nidoking to stop attacking! And I started running to him, desperate, of course, while Petrel tried to hold his Weezing back! And Nidoking jumped at Silver, at first I thought he was going to harm him, so I almost had a heart attack, but then I realized he was just trying to protect him… Nidoking was holding him with his back turned at Weezing, shielding Silver. I can’t describe how I felt… I was relieved that he was fine, of course… But also moved. I was glad Nidoking had instinctively known what to do… I was glad he liked Silver and recognized him as my child, of course… But I was still shaking from the scare that brat had given me! And I have to say I was a bit angry too, because he had done such a senseless thing… But well, mostly, I was glad he was fine! So I ran up to Silver and asked if he was OK and he was so clueless! He hadn’t even realized he had been in danger! He just startet showing me his drawing and then he looked at Nidoking and said “What Pokémon is this?” and I told him… Then he pat my Nidoking and said “He likes me, dad! He even hugged me!”. Hahaha! The next day he showed up with a drawing of Nidoking… I think maybe I still got it somewhere, I don’t know anymore. Maybe it got lost after I moved houses. Sigh… Well, I’d say from that day on I knew he’d end up training Pokémon just like me! Of course, I couldn’t have known he was going to reject Team Rocket and befriend that brat Lyra and become such a stubborn and spoiled teenager and… *caham*. Anyway. There are many good memories, but I like this story a lot, even thought it scared me at the time!

Silver: Good memories of my dad?! Ugh, like… I don’t have any “favorite memories” of him, not at all! He’s boring! My dad is, like… he only cares about his old stuff and never cares about what I want! It’s always about his plans, his team, his house, his life… So every time he talks to me it’s something like “Silver, I want you to hear this CD…” No wait. It’s not a CD, it’s that big black CD that has a different name and my dad is always mad when I call it a CD, you know? It’s old people thing, I don’t know what it is! Anyways, it’s boring like him… So he comes to me with a black CD and he’s all excited about showing me that because the music is “so good” and all and then I listen to it and it’s boring. Seriously boring, no lie! It’s that stupid jazz-thing he listens to, I don’t care about that! And whenever I show him some of my music, he’s all like “this is not music, this is garbage!” Well, I’ve some news for you, dad! Your music is garbage! Mine is good! Hmpf! Oh and sometimes he wants to show me something he did himself, you know? Hehehe… Like… Hahaha. My dad sometimes tries to actually make stuff! He never shows anyone, only me, because he’s super insecure! You all think he’s all full of himself like that so he wouldn’t be afraid of showing his stuff to anyone, but he’s really just a big Torchic! So he comes at me with, like, whatever he made and it’s always terrible! Hhaha! And he’s always kinda proud but at the same time he keeps asking if I think it’s good, and it’s so obvious that he’s insecure about it, right?! It happens with anything he tried to make… A drawing or a ship model he bought, or a song he tried to play on his old accoustic guitar… He doesn’t play the guitar, I mean… He bought one once and tried to learn how to play but he was just so bad at it! hahahah! Like, it was ridiculous because he’s so stubborn so he doesn’t want to have classes, but he can’t learn on his own, so he just tries to gues how to play… Hahahaha! And it was so funny to watch because he’d be frustrated all the time and then suddenly come running into my room like! “I PLAYED A CHORD!!!” HAHAHAAHA!! He was so proud of that, but it was, like, so stupid, you know? Because it was a D Major chord and it’s like, the easiest thing ever, but he was so happy, as if he was a mastermind or something! Pfff! Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahaa!!! It was so funny! Hahahaha! And then I tried to teach him the C Major chord, but in the end he got mad and gave up! Hahahaha, he’s so stubborn, such a bonehead! hahahhaha it was really funny when he tried to make things, I hope he tries something new again some time, like… It would be funny!

————

(This was, like, one of the hardest asks I’ve ever had to answer, seriously. Giovanni and Silver have a complicated relationship, it’s not completely bad, but it’s also not a wonderful relationship, specially for Silver, who is very resentful towards Giovanni in many ways. I just hope it’s clear that they both love each other, even thought they are really stubborn and argue a lot, and even though Silver would never admit that.) 

(Also, sorry if my English is not that good, I’m a bit rusty in terms of writing stories. Describing action is pretty hard.

[ughdesighhns]

50 questions tag.

I was tagged by this cutie @looney-joonie

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Work and sleep 😔✊

2. What makes your day better?

when I get to relax and sit around drinking water with lemons in it.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My sister brought me a chipotle bowl 😔✊

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

all of the island regions in Pokémon / TARDIS

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Definitely depends on what it is but I try my best.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Not that I know of..

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Im honestly not sure because I can’t tell if I’m just dreaming about one or if it’s real.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Many, but in terms of art , BTS and twenty one pilots.

9.have you ever fallen in love?

I wouldn’t say so..

10. What’s your dream date?

going to thrifty stores or hanging out and playing uno or video games lol

11. What do others notice about you?

Tbh idk

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Stealing clothes and pausing anime to rant.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

lmao no way

14. How many exes do you have?

Lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

I like to cull and update a lot of my playlists so they actually never get too big but the fattest playlist I had was around 400 songs.

16. What instruments can you play?

Piano and ukulele (badly)

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

i actually am not sure but it’s making me super curious. But I think the answer is anatomy photo shoot pictures in reference for my art annd then probably blurry pictures of Yoongi.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan, Iceland & the town where I grew up.

19. What is your zodiac?

Sad Sagittarius sister

20. Do you relate to it?

I can’t ever remember what the deal is with Sagittarius’s personality and stuff but i know whenever I read stuff concerning it it’s usually right on the money so I’d say yes sort of.

21. What is happiness to you?

When you can hang loose and Live in the moment (id type a huge thing but I have zombie brain rn )

22. Are you going through anything right now?

yes a lot, I don’t exactly want to talk about much of

It but I am going to be graduating high school soon so that’s somethin’

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Ehm pass

24. What’s your favorite store?

World market ( fun house & bath stuff ), changing hands bookstore (used books) , Zia records ( vinyls, cds and nerdy stuff )

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

decision should be left to the individual.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

It’s not actively something I keep track of but yes.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Holy fuck there are too many.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Return trip to the beach

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

I’ve been told I’m intimidating but friendly. Which I don’t get I’m the biggest wuss ever

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Literally 16 because I am young looking.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

I keep it on my nightstand beside my bed on night mode. Before I kept it on night mode I would find it in my hand in the morning or across the room...

32. What word do you say the most?

“Like” “something like that” “oof”

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

24.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I don’t date people younger than I am. especially since I am 18, there’s an awkward maturity gap. (from my own personal experience I guess)

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

I sometimes get Public relations wtf? But I get told Tattoo artist more often.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

alternative, rock and rap.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Sweden or japan.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Dope on a rope - The growlers / pink - no rome

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Dunno...

40. What are you excited for?

Finishing a manga I’ve been working on and submitting my art portfolio to be graded 😔✊🌸

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Once I start talking I won’t stop but I love listening to people rant.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I made some mounts for my art pieces and I finished drawing a page of a manga I’m working on.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

U. 👀

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Lol world history and art where strong points for me

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

Kind of a 4 to be honest.. ( mostly bcuz I’m sleepy )

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

I’ll be 28 so hopefully getting married haha

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

When I was 15-16 I broke up with a friend while I was moving away. ( it sucked but I’m glad I did it )

48. What age do you want to get married?

Around 27 or 28.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Omg a ballerina or artist.

50. What do you crave right now?

Sleep and the next ep of AOT season 4 😩

There we go whew.

A lot of people ik have already done this so I won’t tag a bunch but Ik @eektheart hasn’t 👀 hehe

[passionpluto]

Premiere Nebula Fun Facts!

I was planning on writing a character profile for Io tonight, but since I’m feeling a little under the weather, I’ll just give you a few Premiere Nebula fun facts about each character. So, here goes!

Valka: Probably my oldest character ever, to the point where she’s almost more of an imaginary friend than a disposable character. Underneath her serious and deeply traumatized mentor-like nature, she has quite the snarky side, and often exchanges quips with her adoptive sister, Io. She was an Ixi (goat-like species) when I first came up with her on Neopets, so sometimes I imagine AUs of her as a satyr or werewolf (since her backstory mirrors a werewolf myth). The nickname Io gives her, Valvi, originally made a ton more sense when she was on Neo, because she married a certain Neopets sports player character with “vi” in his last name, so it was like a J.Lo thing. Now it’s just a play off how many athletes have similar-sounding nicknames AKA I liked the name too much.

Omega: She was originally conceived as an emotionless girl type, which I later repurposed into Koto. The beginnings of her current personality were sparked by me rereading Harry Potter and wanting to create a nervous hero who later becomes strong, like Neville Longbottom. She kinda took the main character position from Valka after that. Outside of sports, she’s great with all sorts of art, especially painting and jewelry-making. Has light brown hair with rainbow tips, which a ton of people think are lame, but she finds them really cool.

Xue: Basically the magical girl mom friend taken to its logical conclusion AKA the sort who uses empathic powers to pester you into fessing up your issues. Annoying at times, but also a great leader who helps Valka out a lot. Loves vintage, lace, and all things cute, while still being the most educated of the group (she’d probably paint her therapy office in wall-to-wall pastels). High physical strength, fairly low magical strength.

Xing: Xue’s sister, who was captured by the Firebrands many years before the story’s beginning. Also likes vintage fashion, but is more into the ‘80s and ‘90s scene than her sister. Was a local singer in the Square before capture, who specialized in disco and rock music. My image of her is based off black disco queens like Donna Summer, and I just know she listened to her stuff a ton as a kid. (She also really likes Motown—she even modeled her hairstyle off Diana Ross.) Basically, someone who seems stuck in the past, but really wants to change the future. High magical strength, weak constitution, gets sick a ton.

Koto: Her race was pretty uncertain after I changed her from a Neopet to a person, but someone I really value and who really values my ideas is Filipina, so I made Koto of that descent to honor her. Clones have fascinated me since I was a child, and a science fiction book I read about them had a clone who could play the piano even though his counterpart couldn’t—so I decided to make Koto learn to play violin in secret. She seems like dumb muscle, but Star Corporations realized the importance of educating her, so she’s quite smart. I often have writing discussions with my boyfriend, and since she hasn’t come in the story much yet, he often calls her “Shego” (since both are mook types with green themes). Since Koto is usually a rule-following type who mostly rebels when her friends are in danger, I jokingly call these situations “Captain America moments.”

Stelle: My favorite character to write tends to switch between her and Valka. Her color scheme (green+silver+black) is probably my favorite. She often switches between a comedic mood and a more depressive mood, which is seriously making me consider giving her ADHD or bipolar. Due to her whole “dark past as a brainwashed assassin” thing, she has “Bucky Barnes moments” to match Koto. (I swear, I didn’t watch any of the Marvel movies until their characters were finalized! It’s just a coincidence, albeit one that might draw Stucky shippers to my story.) Has always been 100% gay in my imaginings of her (it took Koto a little longer).

Io: By far, the most fun character to write. The teen character who curses a ton and secretly has plenty of hidden depths. Will probably be an indie movie director when she grows up. She’s actually the Manufacturer’s daughter, which I love because hero/villain’s daughter relationships are typically romantic rather than sisterly (like her and Valka). Watches a ton of old movies, as well as movies from our era. Would probably love/relate to all the “troubled relationship with father” characters, and I can especially see her liking Gamora and Todoroki in a modern AU. (Despite my lack of father issues, I have similar tastes in that regard.)

Kaine: Originally just a villain to be killed, is now a Chaotic Neutral turned Chaotic Good character. A lot of this change was based on a Precure season in which a chara’s dark clone was killed, which made me realize I really didn’t want this to happen to Kaine. Was also originally a Yandere, but was changed to just a flirty character who falls in love easily (because I’m not huge on that trope anymore). One of the rare sniper-type Actresses I have planned. A 30-something adult who never got out of her goth phase, and whose magical girl form is pure Gothic Lolita. (Hers is one of my faves for this exact reason.)

Phea: The newest Nebula gal—I’ve only had her in my head for a year or so. Most of her concept was based on my love for model-themed magical girls and the (actually useful) celebrity activist trope. Since she has long ombre teal hair and is a plus-size model, the plus-size modeling community on Tumblr gave me a ton of inspiration for her looks. Only goes by her stage name—even I don’t know what her real name is yet! Her Actress name, Nymphea, happens to be both a flower (water lily) and a Pokémon (the Japanese name for Sylveon); the former was intended and the later was a happy accident. She was Valka’s old college roommate, and the two were quite close (Phea personally fantasizes about an “oh my god, they were roommates” scenario with Valka, but hasn’t confessed yet.) Loves photography and dogs—the bigger and fluffier the better! (The “Phea has a huge dog” headcanon is a joke born from the fact that many celebrities have tiny ones—Phea, on the other hand, would have a Saint Bernard and still give her a cutesy celebrity dog name like Rosetta.)

[mad-queen-thorn]

Massive vent under the cut, its been a week and a half and I can’t seem to dwell on this any longer. Venting again only because I have very little followers and 90% of them are good friends I hang with regularly, so I feel safe spilling out my feelings here, don’t want to burden anyone with my thoughts and feelings, reading is optional.

I didn’t mention this here, because I didn’t feel the need to. 

When it comes to my Diabetes I’m almost in remission, its a good thing, and by June I might be off the meds and officially into remission. Which is looking promising, but knowing my luck, I beat one thing and two more take their place. Its like taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. 

And well, its 3 things this time, I’m now on blood pressure meds for hypertension, only weak ones, so its not that bad. Docs think it might be the pressure I’m putting on my body with the lifestyle changes, but when I lose more weight it should go back to normal. Other than that they want to check out my kidneys as they said there’s a lot of protein in there. They’ve pushed back one of my tests which is causing me worry. But it was merely because the equipment they wanted to give me hasn’t arrived yet. So maybe I’m worrying over nothing. 

Anyway, this isn’t the major thing I keep bottling up. 

Along with my Type 2 Meds and my Blood pressure meds, I take Fluoxetine, which I’ve been on since late 2015. For anxiety and depression. So with all the appointments I’ve been having the past few months they’ve also been keeping track of my mental health, and now the docs think it might be more than just my Anxiety and Depression. 

They think I’m Autistic. In fact, I’ve been told that its highly likely I am after them talking to me, a family member and a friend who has autistic children herself, talked together in the docs room about my past, my behaviours and such and how our friend sees a lot of traits in me, and the doc said “You’re most likely right.”.

We sent off a referral form with a tonne of information about myself, my hyper fixations, behaviours, stimming, social interaction and more.

I’m officially under investigation for Autism.

I’ve been trying to process the information for almost 2 weeks now, barely telling a soul about it. But with the information I’ve been given, the more I think about it, the more of my life is making sense: 

When I was younger, I had a hard time making friends and I still do. I thought it was because I was ugly, weird and because of my overbite that it drove people away. That it was my fault entirely for not being good enough, like bullies made be believe. 

Turns out, that making friends can be hard of Autistic people because of their differences in communication. 

Which at the end of day... explains a lot. 

I’ve noticed that in large groups, I’m very quiet, both in person and online. I don’t speak unless I feel its needed to, and I try to not speak over people and often find myself doing so. I really don’t mean to. I just find it really hard to understand when there’s a good window for me to chirp in without seeming rude. Other times I’ll wait and wait and then when its time for a moment for me to voice the conversation has most likely moved on, which isn’t a bad thing. It just seems like I don’t have a good grasp of social cues. 

My black and white thinking also seems to impact my social interaction. As in the past I’ve just assumed and read situations wrong. Sometimes accidentally upset friends on multiple occasions without meaning. As sometimes my mind is just: 

“It has to be 1 or 2″ And nothing like a 3rd option comes to mind until its pointed out or I’ve made my mistake and beat myself up for it. Thinking I was being selfish and horrible. But now I guess that this explains those moments. They happen a lot, but not in bad ways. Like I said, sometimes its either one or the other, and I fail to see alternative options unless stated. 

Like, the other day I was with my friend who has autistic children, we play Pokemon Go together. And we had a debate about the design of Attack and Normal Deoxys: 

(The top Two) 

She said that they are a different colour, yet I said they are the same colour. Yet she said they’re different. Now, my brain didn’t connect the dots and that she meant that parts of their body are different colour but they both have the same colour scheme. It took me a few moments to actually get what she meant... so??? I guess??

I tend to have little moments in communication like that. 

Also, when some of my family make a joke, most of the time I don’t laugh. My sense of humour tends to be niche and connected to my hyper fixations and spur of the moment puns. Or I’ll make a joke to my family or a friend and they don’t get it, and I have to explain and they still don’t find it funny. I seem to have stronger connections to people who are into the same things I am. Something for me to build a conversation off of or I’ll fail to maintain a conversation. 

I thought this was just normal?? But at the same time it might not be...

Idk I have so many questions. There has been many things I’ve questioned about myself.

Like the need for a second opinion on situations others would see as common sense. Sometimes I go to someone I trust, explain a situation only to be told my feelings are valid and why I’m even questioning them. 

I dunno, it feels good that there might be a possibility behind how I communicate. 

While explaining to me, the doc said: “Your brain seems wired different, and you see the world differently from everyone else. People need to understand that.”

And I... like I said, I don’t know. 

I mean, the following seems to also be signs: 

In person I find it hard to make eye contact. 

I like to be left alone sometimes. 

I can’t be alone for long periods of time as I get stressed and it pulls down my whole mood. 

I find it hard to take part in group conversations over voice. Text is fine. 

My body language and tone can be completely different to what I actually mean. I’ve gotten in trouble with this, but the person who was mad at me didn’t understand. 

I don’t pick up on body language. 

But I’ll be observant on everything else. I tend to spot most things others don’t notice. I’ve had this in person many times and people tend to compliment me with “Wow you’re so observant!”, “You have good eyes!”. 

Lack of excitement, this happened today. We got new carpets in and my mother was overjoyed, but I never felt a thing. I felt like I should be happy too but I couldn’t. I am capable of being happy for other people, but yet again, it has to be connected to a hyper fixation or someone I trust/care about. 

Relationship with my parents isn’t great, probably due to my communication issues.

I only express myself to people I deem I’m close to, other than that I seem very disconnected. I’ve heard people say that I seem to be in my “own little world” on more than one occasion.

Selective Mute or nonverbal. Sometimes I just can’t speak or come up with what to say and remain silent. 

Picky with food. For example, if someone puts beans on my plate, I simply can’t eat around them. I’ll dismiss the entire plate and feel bad about it. Cuz my mind tends to think the whole thing is “contaminated” by the beans and I can’t eat it. 

In person I can tend to point instead of using words sometimes. 

I’m not a touchy person, especially with my family. But if you’re someone I trust, I’ll probably cuddle you to death. Really selective of who I let close to me.

Nobody can touch my hair but me. Nobody can brush it but me. If I let you brush it, its a blessing. 

Always listening to music while doing things like drawing/walking ect. 

Questioning my place in social situations and how others think. I have a habit of putting myself below everyone else. The idea of other people thinking of me or thinking positively of me next to never crosses my mind, the whole thing seems foreign to me. 

Another major pointer to it is my stimming. 

Now, I’ve stimmed for many years now and felt BAD about it. Because I felt like I didn’t deserve the stim toys I have. But now everything is starting to make sense. Even though my stimming does piss some family members off, I try to not do it around them and simply can’t. Sometimes I start stimming without even noticing. The most common being my legs, I will bounce them. All the time. If my hands are busy its my legs, if my legs aren’t moving, I need something in my hands and I have quite a few stim toys. From fidget cubes to squishy pokeballs. I have a habit of making them click or rolling the ball in my hands between rounds on videogames or when watching youtube videos. I also tend to lean towards glitter shakers. Love those things. I tend to mute my mic a lot during voice calls as I get paranoid people can hear me stimming. Because I feel like the bump bump of my foot on the floor or the clicking of my fidget cube will annoy people. 

Not adjusting well to change and being in social situations with a lot of people are another two signs. For example, yesterday I was in the kitchen with all the furniture while the carpets had been getting put down, there was limited space to move, I had nothing to stim with and didn’t like it. I felt bad for being annoyed. I wanted to go to my room but couldn’t. I wanted to move around. 

When it comes to social situations, I can go to heavy populated situations like conventions but not for long. I start getting overwhelmed and feeling sick. I enjoy it as much as I can but I can only take so much. 

Same with social interaction. I can only take so much. 

Once I get overstimulated I can get moody and my temper shortens, but I usually isolate myself by the time it comes to that point.     

I blamed all my social woes on my Anxiety but at this point it might not be my anxiety. It might be Autism.

But one final thing that also points to it:

Hyperfixations

I currently have two massive fixations.

Pokémon which is one I've had all my life

And Guild Wars 2 which has been a fixation since 2017

But within them I have specific things I fixate on. Which I guess are sub fixations?

For example, in Pokémon. I love the lore, certain legendaries and I absolutely adore cat Pokémon. Every time there is a new Pokémon game out I almost cry in excitement. My bedroom is covered in Pokémon stuff with a few other fandoms scattered in there but it's 90% Pokémon.

Pokémon shirts, Pokémon bedding. Pokémon posters, Pokémon bags, Pokémon plushies, keyrings.

Whenever I get something my family tend to go "Ugh. Not more Pokémon"

And Guild Wars 2 is pretty self explanatory.

I love Aurene, Tybalt and most of the main characters and lore.

I have the Rytlock figure and art and the OST discs ext. Books of lore and stories.

But 90% of my fixation is on the Thorns.

Thorn Pyjamas, Thorn bags, Thorn plush. Anything I can get my grubby little hands on...

Go figure!

I also try to not express myself too much as in the past I've had people try to force me out of hyperfixations because I was too "annoying".

I feel like I talk about my two major fixes too much. So I try to curb down on it to not drive people away...?

I wish I knew the results as I have so many questions.

They said they think it's very likely I'm autistic.

I don't want to write myself off and say "Yeah, I'm Autistic."

Because there's that chance I'm not. But so many people who know me in person think I am. And I've been asked many times over the years and never had a second thought about it.

And like I said, the docs said I most likely am.

I'm just waiting for an assessment and the result which I got told could take months to years.

I just want answers so I know how to make life is easier for me.

I want answers so I can just be myself without fear because I keep holding myself back thinking I'm weird or a bad person or bad at communication.

I always notice my social flaws and say they're "habits I need to kick"

But maybe they're not. Maybe it's just how I am.

I want to know.

I need to know...

I just want answers...

[smilingperformer]

SM087 - Plot, plot, plot ~

Silly title is silly. Anyway, Necrozma Arc has finally started in it’s glory, and the newest episode focuses on building up important lore points about the legend of Alola’s Creation and Alola’s three legendary Pokémon related to said lore. I’ll be focusing on the lore and plot in my thoughts post this time around, so I hope you’ll enjoy it! Without further ado, welcome to the start of the Necrozma Arc in Pocket Monsters Sun & Moon:

A Crisis in Alola! The Darkness That Eats Radiance!

Since the start of the episode is important to the plot, let me recap it the best I can: Necrozma is shown to be breaking free from some Crystal-like formation, and as it sees Lunala and Solgaleo, who we know as Nebby, it screams in a scary, possibly painful way, and charges at them. As this happens, Satoshi wakes up only to face a cursed sight of Kukui having his coat closed up and wearing a shirt! Kukui isn’t the only one affected: Burnet is also being extra sleepy and is skipping out on morning Ocean trip! And that’s not all: as we learn after the opening, it’s all of the adults in Alola! Even Rocket Gang! (We can scratch any false information of Rocket Gang being teenagers now right?)

Now that I’ve managed to somewhat explain one of the main conflicts of the episode, and the arc, let us move on to explaining the lore bits of the arc that will become important during the arc episodes later on. Since Kukui was supposed to explain about the following information, but was too sleepy and slacky to do it, Kaki is doing the explanation instead! (And I’ll slack of by showing it through screencaps. Maybe Necrozma affecting me as well. I am a young adult after all.)

The Manalo Festival

This is something I couldn’t understand without subtitles, but is definitely an important lore bit for the future of the arc. I find it clever that they sneaked in the years Pokeani has been airing into this lore. Very sneaky Pokeani team, very sneaky.  We also learn that Manalo and Alola are from the ancient language, where Manalo means “You and I will live together”, while Alola means pretty much what we’ve learned the main treat of the region to be: “To Share”. The Legendary Pokemon in question of the festival is none other than The Radiant One (Kagayaki-sama).

And this is where the next lore point comes to play as well. This time explained by Lilie, who’s been hearing the story about Alola’s Creation from Lusamine herself, ever since she was a small kid. And apparently, Lusamine’s repeating a family tradition with it. It’s actually a continuation from the myth we learned from Acerola back in SM074!

The Myth of Alola’s Creation

Pretty neat bed-time story isn’t it! The emissaries of light are of course Lunala and Solgaleo, while the ends of the sky is a way of describing an Ultra Hole. When you start thinking about the very start of the episode, this story starts making a lot of sence, as it seems to be occuring right at that moment. This bit of lore has made me believe that the main goal of this Arc is for Lunala and Solgaleo to help Necrozma regain its lost light after awaking from it’s long slumber.

But as myths always are, the stories tend to get trimmed over time and important parts of it will become lost. I believe the bit that has been lost in the myth is how Necrozma without light is in constant pain (the scream it makes both at the beginning and the end of the episode makes me highly believe this is the case. It sounds painful), and will use any means to get its light back. That includes its ability to fuse with Lunala and Solgaleo, which is what makes it become Ultra Necrozma, The Radiant One. No one who knows the myth of The Radiant One in Alola seems to know about this bit thou, which highly makes me believe the people of Alola will be shocked after they learn the truth.

Whatever the case, Bebenom is shown to be very curious about The Radiant One in this episode, as it’s been in previous cases. And it seems to sense that the arrival of Necrozma is incoming, and whatever is happening in Alola as of now (with Mysterious Clouds hanging over Alola Region and all) is related to it. Maybe the situation has it’s wary because of how similar it feels to when its homeworld was sucked out of light?

The Z-moves lacking power

For some reason, I saw people claiming this wasn’t important at all, but let me tell you, this bit is extremely important bit to the plot! As we know from the games, and as it is confirmed by Burnet later on in the episode as well, Z-moves power originates from the Ultra Aura that is surrounding Alola, and this Ultra Aura originates from the Ultra Wormhole. And, we also learn later on (more about it later in this post), the whole reason Adults seem to be affected this way is because of a tiny Ultra Wormhole that is sucking Alola’s Ultra Aura, diminishing the amount of it bit by bit. So the reason Z-moves are acting less powerful is because of the same cause as Adults being tired and acting weird. I’m telling you, do not shrug this plot point off as nothing! It will play a part later on! It’s the story-telling 101. Show a plot point, explain it later, solve it later. This will most likely play a huge role with Ultranecrozium Z as well. Hoo boy am I scared of seeing that.

During this scene Bebenom also gets inspired to draw Ultra Necrozma’s symbol. But more about that later!

The tiny Ultra Wormhole sucking up Alola’s Ultra Aura

Pretty much what I explained briefly before. But this time explained by Burnet and Wicke! Let me fastforward the episode for more information!

Thou before that, let it be known that Rocket Gang has noticed the opening of the tiny Ultra Wormhole as well, and are heading to Alola, lead by none other than Matori! And as we know, they’re coming to get The Radiant One. Anyway, fastforward to when the Ultra Guardians and Aether Foundation team gather at the Altar of the Sunne:

(Looks like a full day passed since the episode started, meaning the Solar Eclipse is happening in just one day!)

To anyone believing the Adults only being affected by this won’t be explained, please listen to this dialogue! Because they are acknowledging it, I’m very certain we’ll learn the full reason for this later down the road of the arc. Again, story-telling 101: introduce plot point, explore it, find the explanation.

That hole being the tiny one they found out about earlier in the episode (they also explained it to the Ultra Guardians here). When the new member of the Ultra Guardians team, Gladio, asks about an UB possibly coming out of it, Lusamine tells that if the hole grows larger, there’s def a chance for it. To which Burnet continues.

After small comic relief of Wicke being harsh on Sauboh (unintentionally, because of being tired), Sauboh continues from this:

See? The Clouds itself aren’t the cause of the crisis. They are only one of the outcomes of the crisis happening. So, today’s mission is for the Z-users of Ultra Guardians to power up this machine, so that the clouds can be taken out of the way to help locate the tiny Wormhole before anything else happens.

Here’s the bit that explains the Z-Power lore!

So, the Ultra Guardians fire of their Z-moves, and the clouds are taken out of the way.

The Ancient Painting regarding Alola’s Creation Myth

I actually talked about this a week ago after the preview, so I don’t want to go into detail anymore, but what I want to correct is that Solgaleo actually does have it’s face, but it’s drawn in an ancient akward way. Also, as I was being corrected on, there are Trumbeak in this painting.

Bebenom is shown very, very interested in the painting, and definitely knows about the symbol. And this is very well acknowledged by Rotom and Satoshi!

We once again see that curious, lore-loving Lusamine here. Even when she’s tired, she wants to unlock the mysteries of the ancient myth behind Necrozma. And I’m telling you, I’m certain desciphering this painting is part of the arc. Maybe, possibly during the next episode or two, Lusamine will be trying to uncover the mystery of this painting, while the Ultra Guardians will be trying to Protect Lunala. Speaking off which, we have now reached the end of the episode, where the amazing stuff starts!

The Arrival of Necrozma

After Burnet calls the squad to come back up because of the tiny Ultra Wormhole getting bigger, we finally see Lunala in its full glory, arriving from the hole! But what’s more…

(Did I forget to explain why Gladio is here? He’s here because Silvuddy is scared of the presence Necrozma is giving off through the tiny wormhole, and I bet it’ll increase with the arrival of the being! Speaking of which)

Necrozma arrives right behind Lunala, tearing through the Ultra Wormhole, and making that same scream it did at the beginning of the episode.

Everyone’s reactions say a ton about the situation. This is after Necrozma screamed. Lusamine’s reaction somehow feels more curious than worry or scare. I’m sure she’ll realise this is not the time to be curious during next episode. She has learned the lesson back in Aether Arc after all.

And I have to say this right now: this scene right here has by far my favourite track in the whole series of Pokeani now! The Guitar, the atmosphere, the sound, everything about is so god damn glorious and I want the OST of this series so bad now. Sony, you’re the guys licensing the music, pleaaaaase release the OST!

The End of the episode! Honestly, this is a great start for what seems to be growing into an amazing Arc, and I can’t wait to see the next episode! The music in this episode was excellent, the plot reveals and lore explanations were a delight and the return of Gladio and arrival of both Lunala and Necrozma has be extemely hyped! Necrozma Arc, bring it on!

If I forgot to talk about a certain plot point, please point it out. I wrote this as I rewatched the episode, so I should not have missed out on anything, but, I’m a human, and humans make mistakes. (And I was kinda unfocused during this process. God damn.)

Also, Ishizuka was back to narrating this episode, and honestly the death of him is still affecting the way I hear his dialogue in this episode. ;-;

The PokeProblem segment has Mao’s Papa returning from having spend this… whole time (?) at Yareyutan’s bar, to which Yareyutan just… sighs. Oh dear. A good mood lighter after the plot-heavy episode. Not too comical, and not too serious. I like it.

Next week, Matori shows how good of a secretary she is to Sakaki, and the Rocket Gang’s special Unit arrives to Alola to capture Necrozma, who fights with Lunala, as it seems to eventually manage to fuse with it. Looks to be a action-heavy episode, with Bebenom somehow looking scared D: Everyone, protect the poison baby!

SM088 - Lunala VS UB: BLACK! A Battle at Full Moon!!

And as Gozu says at the end of the preview: Watch it, or you’ll suffer That!

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all in the next post!

[vinku-iikku]

Yay I finally finished 2018 inktober! If you want to just scroll through them all please go here, and if you want to see some comments on each please look under the cut.

Day 01 Flowey and Overgrown Ruins This prompt I picked as is because as far as I remember Flowey stayed behind when the monsters left. If you can’t find him, he’s near the big root on the left. All other days the second prompt got randomised by a die (except when I reached the last two).

Day 02 Grillby and Exotic Flora Grillby’s on a journey to look at all the flowers that aren’t living in a wet environment. Maybe he’ll make some wine from the non-poisonous ones.

Day 03 Chara and Cave Entrance They are still curious about morbid things and places that could be portentially dangerous, practically running at danger.

Day 04 Undyne and Astral Plains/Dreamland Welp I’d rather have had her with some other prompt, but now she has an anime showdown/faceoff with a mean monster that harasses a moldsmal.

Day 05 Asgore and Rocky Ruins Asgore had a trip down memory lane and visited the place where their castle used to be, before the war. Not much is left any more.

Day 06 Frisk and Ancient Tree They are still precariously looking for adventure. I saw this article about a 800 year-old Finnish tree, as soon as I saw that top I wanted to climb that, looks like a perfect spot to see everything around you and chill for a bit.

Day 07 Temmie and Nature Untouched I did some research in a nearby forest for this one, the sales-Temmie has made a nest in a tree that has fallen down in a storm. The soil is shallow before solid rock so trees have their roots mostly close to the surface, when they fall the roots go up as well. Temmie on the left is sitting on an ant nest lol. There are seven Temmies in total.

Day 08 Muffet and Crystal Coves Crystal Coves is either a place where crystal business is the main employer, a cove that has crystals, or a cove with crystal clear water, I think. I tried to implement them all just to make sure. Muffet has now made a business in making spider-products with glass expertise.

Day 09 Fuku Fire and Freezing Fjord Finally back to the ‘monsters travelling’ theme, Fuku is taking a longer trip and is currently on a boat by Norway.

Day 10 Gaster Blasters and Townsquare The blasters are on their own for whatever convenient reason, Pap’s one is figuring how things work by destroying them, Sans’ is... playing with local children. :D The fountain is loosely based on Havis Amanda.

Day 11 Nice Cream Guy & Shanty Town He’s travelling the world and selling nice cream! Definitely inspired by Beadle in BotW.

Day 12 Mettaton EX & Cemetery This combination took me a moment, Mettaton is a bit loud and showy for a cemetery. Then I remembered that Napstablook said they’re already dead when you try to kill them, so here Mettaton’s visiting haunted places and telling everyone about this wonderful body he got and where to get one if you’re interested in becoming physical again. I worked in a cemetery for one summer years ago, felt weird pulling those visual memories to this...

Day 13 Toriel & Hall of Deities In order to become a teacher I’d imagine she’d have to brush up her knowledge on lots of things that’ve happened on the surface, and here she’s in a secret underground place with some sacred scriptures or something, she reads them and writes down notes and then returns the scrolls.

Day 14 Annoying Dog & Volcanic Terrain Another weird combination, but eh, it’s the dog. It’s feeding bones to the vulkins and admiring danger up close.

Day 15 Monster Kid & Path Along the Water I made a huge area with different textures so I could try learn something new by scribbling around, and I’m really happy how the boulders on top of the waterfall and the water itself look like.

Day 16 Doggo & Ancient Altar Room Took a moment to come up with an idea, then I read Doggo likes squirrels. So now he’s travelling the world too, and he always has time and seeds for any squirrel population he discovers.

Day 17 Alphys & Summoning Altar I thought I’d not be drawing Mew Mew, but here was a perfect opportunity for that! Alphys isn’t travelling, but discovering new things in her home, humans have such interesting books! All of the Japanese text mean something; the bowl has the kanji for ’love’, books under it are Mew Mew manga, there’s two yury books, a reference to Free!, Digimon, Pokémon, Rose of Versailles, Natsume Book of Friends... and it’s fine if you don’t get the one that says ‘corn’.

Day 18 Photoshop Flowey & Windmills and Grasslands I think the modern wind generators look super cool. I tried to make Flowey as cute as possible so he’d be more fun to draw there, this is some dream stuff or alternate universe since Flowey did stay behind.

Day 19 Papyrus & Desserted Drylands I’m pretty sure that’s an accidental typo, but since it was Papyrus I wanted to roll with the new pun meaning. First thought was Papyrus somehow being in the drylands and dropping a huge cake, thus ’desserting’ it, but that would’ve been a bit mean. This cake is made with 100% organic sand (some of which he ground himself when grooming Rocky), the tiny cow ornaments are modified mouse skeletons. :) The chef hat would be straight but there wasn’t enough room on the page of the notebook I draw these on... I remembered he had a triangle on the battle armor, but didn’t remember what way it points so avoided it by replacing it with a heart. :D

Day 20 Sans & By the Beach Sans is getting some more sand for Papyrus with his shortcut, then he took a nap unfortunately close to the tide..? The shore felt a bit bare so I added some animals to keep him company. I h/c that animals don’t mind having monsters around unlike how they usually try to run away when a human is near.

Day 21 Shyren & Buried Statue(s) She’s doing that Disney princess thing where you sit down and start singing and all small animals within hearing range come to listen.

Day 22 Asriel & Underwater Temple Another dream thing since Flowey stayed behind, this is how he imagines the oceans look like outside.

Day 23 Lesser Dog & Market Place Some people have to learn the hard way to not trust a dog that has opposable thumbs.

Day 24 Box Mettaton & Merchant’s Store Any website run by a popular monster must get an insane amount of curious folk, which leads to ad revenue being a good way to fund the next tour. There’s some.. insider jokes there if you’re in any kind of website business.

Day 25 Rocky the pet rock & Eldritch Forest I don’t actually know what the latter means, looking at Google images it’s probably just a forest that’s very dark or something. Wanted to try a different perspective for a change. Rocky has a bowl of food there but I can’t really think of any non-sad reason for why it’s in this forest.

Day 26 Froggit & Inn in th Middle of Nowhere Had to take a break for one day, regardless I’m proud of myself on being consistent this far despite everything going on. I first only had the top Froggit and the bg in the sketch, and didn’t like how it looked. Somehow adding more Froggits made it look a lot better to me...

Day 27 Burgerpants & By the Docs Birsd with human arms and birds sitting like humans will never not be hilarious to me.

Day 28 Bratty and Catty & Deep in the Woods Tried to play with perspective with this one, it’s kind of the opposite of the Rocky drawing.

Day 29 God of Hyperdeath & Idle Portal I had a hard time coming up with anything for this, so now poor goat is somewhere in a completely white dimention and the only way out is not active, though he’s quite chill about it.

Day 30 Amalgamate & Abnormal Formations This and last one’s world I didn’t leave for the die to decide, I really wanted to do Tetris with Napstablook and out of the two still left this prompt suits Endogeny more anyway. There’s a forest in Poland where several of the trees bend to north like this.

Day 31 Napstablook & Puzzling Platforms Only one I did during morning, my hands shake more then so all the lines are more or less wobbly. Every Tetris piece has it’s own signature design except the L-shape which is just blank to keep it interesting. Napstablook is enjoying game music while inside the game, maybe ghosts can possess videogames..? This also shows the notebook I drew all of these in and the tools I used most of the time.

It’s hard to tell if I’ve improved at all when comparing these to 2017 inktober, I haven’t draw regularly through the year and the main focus point this time was on backgrounds and not so much on lines and characters. I did learn new things and that’s always exiting, I think my trees, glass and rocks look way better than before I started, and I did some progress in shading metal too. All of these took 3 hours or less to finish, some only took an hour. I didn’t need to erase pencils like last year because I used a trick where I placed the sketch under the notebook page and my tablet with 100% brightness and a white bg under them, and traced that with ink. The notebook paper is pretty thin, you can see the Amalgamate drawing’s clouds showing through in the Napstablook photo. Anyway, this was fun, and I think I’ll try do it next year too!

[vero-valzer]

🌳🌕🌻!

Ah! I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now! Thank you for sending me an ask for the D&D ask meme @fischotterchen! You are wonderful!

🌳 elf: What do you like to rest and relax?

A couple of different things! I like to take nice long showers, get absorbed in a book, watch movies or TV series, play certain video games, like Journey, Abzû, Animal Crossing, Pokémon. I used to practice my Tai Chi routine when I was actively taking it and did some mediation but I’ve gotten rusty at both. I like to just go swimming just to swim too, but that’s something I’ve done even less recently than rusty Tai Chi and meditation. In a similar vein, I recently realized how relaxing watercoloring is for me? I should get the stuff I need to do more watercoloring…

🌕 half-elf: Where would you build your dream home?

I’d probably build it on the beach/waterfront of one of the Great Lakes, honestly. I’d say “seaside” but to be completely honest, the ocean sort of scares me? I’ll stick with the Great Lakes. Seems as big as an ocean when all you can see is blue out to the horizon. Somewhere with sand and beach grass and the sound of waves, where there’s less beach goers. Maybe some nearby trees and forest-y elements but it’s a nearby drive to a boardwalk or town with more stores. Label me a beach bum, I suppose!

🌻 halfling: Talk about a time you indulged your curiosity.

It was late 2012. I’d started my 3rd year of university. For the first time since moving into my 3rd year of dorm-living, I finally had the whole 4-Girl suite to myself. My roomie was off with her Bible group and my suite mates were off doing who-knows-what. I was just sitting around, probably doing homework or reading for class and enjoying my solitude when I heard one of my all-time favorite instruments coming through the walls, muffled…It was a cello! As I listened, it sounded like it was coming from one of the rooms around ours. I wondered if someone was just playing some cello music that they had, like through iTunes or something, but the vibrations through the walls and ceiling and… I’m not sure how to explain it other than a decade’s-worth of band experience giving me a “trained ear”, I could tell it was being performed “live.” I put down whatever I was doing, grabbed my keys, locked the door to our dorm behind me, and went in search of the source of such sweet and sultry sounds in our dorm that winter night. My search lead me upstairs as I’d suspected and I lingered in the hallway around doors, leaning and listening and risking looking like a weirdo to anyone who happened to leave their room, trying to find the source.Turns out, the source was the dorm room right above ours and I happened to pick the right door when I knocked. I could tell because the cello stopped after I knocked. A boy answered the door, looking embarrassed. “Hi,” he said a bit red in the face.“Hi! I live right below you. Are you the one playing cello?”“Yeah… I’m sorry, was I too loud? All my roomies are gone and I thought maybe it’d be okay— Sorry. I can stop—““—No, no! I just wanted to say, keep it up! You sound amazing! I thought that was a recording of someone playing cello at first, it sounded so good!”“Really?”“Yeah! How long have you been playing?”“Only a year.”“What?! That’s amazing! Cello is one of my favorite instruments and you sounded great!” And then I remembered how awkward it was that I had hunted him down and was standing in his doorway. “Well, uh… sorry to interrupt! Just wanted to say, great job and thank you for the music!”And that curiosity lead to us realizing my roomie and his roomies were both going to the same bible group meetings so when either of our spaces were relatively unoccupied at that time, we’d hang out and I’d listen to him play cello, or we’d watch movies, or he’d show me tech stuff he was working on. Ultimately, the friendship was short lived and ended on a weird note (pun intended)… I won’t get into details there. But that curiosity lead to some nights I spent in good company, while it lasted, nights that I would’ve just spent alone otherwise. Music is a powerful connector and communicator and in this case, my curiosity and the draw music has for me lead to a good thing. 🎵

Sorry, that last one got kinda lengthy! Thank you for asking!!!

[riskeith]

aside from that, ur graphics must look incredible! i’ve seen some comparison pics and pc graphics are God Tier. help the second lowest being “high”... good riddance. 😶

summer 2016! it seems so long ago like a whole different universe. everything was so beautiful back then.. everybody was out and about hunting pokémon’s... that zine is so cute! i wouldn’t say main i actually only got into them a little while ago and i’m still mostly tddk and kiribaku but bkdk is interesting.. to say the least. i haven’t seen what happens in the manga (only a bit of spoilers especially that cover...) and s4 didn’t give us That many scenes with them but i’m keeping my eyes open... wbu?

IDK like their descriptions make it seem like they might help you find some specific treasures??? like the gold seelie giving you fortune aka mora? not sure tho hehe... YEAH THAT FANART!!! so cute i wanna eat them all.. forbidden snack. 🥺 omg funny you mention that... i met xiao just earlier for the first time and when i saw his entire outfit i was like.. hm i wonder what he would look like in darker clothing HAHA. but yeah skins would be awesome!!!! like a clothing shop or smth somewhere????? anyway when i saw him i was like HEY that’s cluna’s boy!

ALBEDO IS A BAD BITCH. his hair is perfect perfect perfect. actually everything about him is so perfect he’s just a delicate little guy... 🥺 dude us talking about albedo and opening up the game and seeing his banner is like... 👀 temptation.

with venti??? i’m not sure which quest you mean i did the archon one with him though and it was awesome. does he have more? I DID LOOK IT UP AND MURASE IS MAKING HIS VOICE EVEN HIGHER AND IT’S SO CUTE I WISH I KNEW IT BEFOREHAND SO I COULD’VE HEARD HIS VOICE WHILE DOING THE MISSION. 😭 oh well 😭

hopefully there are some good 4 stars too. who are you wishing for? anyone special? imagine having xingqiu and chongyun.... that’s like the dream. and bennett and razor and you have the boy scout party haha!! do you have mostly claymore users?

i remember you mentioning you don’t like book users but i’ve actually really grown to love them hehe. their long range attacks are so nice and handy! KAZE DA! 😭 bro stop i literally have a crush on venti it’s ridiculous.. imagine closing ur eyes and talking and it’s his voice.... (OR HINATA!!!) murase is so lucky... he seems like such a great guy too ajsksjdk..

ok friends to lovers goodness! 🥺 i’m considering getting twitter just to see fanart... maybe.. o.o

ooooo that’s so thorough! in all caps caught my attention, why do you do that? personally, if it’s something longer i write bulletpoints of the concept but never like... actual plot yk? i’ve tried before but i doesn’t work for me very well. so.. i wing it! and like you i just get inspired randomly, it could be from song lyrics or thinking about tropes i enjoy. 😜

loona is cool! they have this whole story about their group. i highly recommend checking them out! i wonder if they kept it up though lmao. oh yeah everyone loves hozier he just speaks to the soul.. LOVELY IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!! LIKE EASILY TOP SONGS OF MY LIFE!!! it makes me so happy that you like it even if you skip it lmaojsjdjsjsjdk and i like billie a lot!! ariana too she has great music.., idk if you’ve heard of the group the neighborhood but i like them too. lana del rey as well! haha guess it’s super basic stuff tbh. all of them with mostly slow songs.. sorry 😭

OK GOOD. all nighters are honestly horrible. i don’t get how people can pull them off and get things done... (hopefully you never have to either!) YEAH haha 8 am is my favorite hour i think... that and 9 pm. they’re just special. what’s your favorite time of day? listen if you stay up to read fics that’s valid. midnight up is like the perfect time to read fics it makes them appear more magical sjdkdhdk.

i hope i caught you today but if not, hope you’re sleeping well babe! ♥️

sorry i was playing genshin! JFKSNXKSNKSJ i started before 12am and before i knew it it was already 1am… my goodness

and yeah i watched this vid comparing the graphic quality settings (i play on the default one) and i was like??? people really be playing like this? LOL can’t relate

edit: missed this paragraph oops but yeah what a time 2016 was! (lmao voltron started that year iirc) i remember we had an athletics event and legit everyone was on their phones jfksnfksnd. oooo! nice tddk and krbk are very good very nice. and also yeah that cover lol i love that you didn’t even have to specify which one i just Know. hmm i think rn bkdk would be one of the top ships i’m interested in aside from todobaku? they just have so much history ya know? and they have a lot of moments in the second movie! oh wait did you know that there are movies? two of them in fact!! the kiribaku is pretty strong in the first one (but there are some todobaku moments too lol). and there are a few OVAs too. WAIT are you all caught up with the anime? can’t rmemeber if you’ve told me or not 😫

oooo if that were the case tho what would the others give? i did like the “sea blue” description or something of the blue one tho 😩 YOU WANNA EAT THEM FJDJCJSKNCSKJCKSNXJS NO!!! but i can understand.. they look very squishy. THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!! honoured you thought of me <33 yo i was also wondering what chongyun would look like in darker clothes too HDKSKDN see this is why i need to learn how to draw.… gotta put them in the clothes i want since we can’t do that in game!! but a shop would be so cute omg

JFKSKSKAKS i’ve legit been staying away from opening the wish menu as much as i can.… it’s too tempting i can’t!!

yeah the archon one is what i meant sorry! forgot the name for it lol. and yes there is! once you reach AR 35 or something you can unlock story quests and venti is one of them 👀👀 RIPPPP BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW NOW 😭😭

i think just xingqiu rn!! i’ve been holding off ascending barbara in hopes of getting him, bc i grinded some oceanid (literally the worst fucking boss ever) before i ascended so i’m just hoarding those materials rn fjskdnd. yesss the boy scouts 😭🥺 but i heard chongyun and razor’s elemental skills cancel each other out so rip.. hmm i did a count and i think i have 3 each of claymore and catalyst users! hbu?

omg nooooo betrayal 😭 tho ngl i’m considering using ningguang bc i see people play her so well.. so i’m just carrying her around in my team hoping to passively level her up HAHAHA. i def appreciate their long range attacks too, lisa’s burst especially is quite nice. CHJDKSKD that’s so cute but also very relatable 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 also did you know murase is like tall af it’s kinda crazy lol

there’s /so/ much good fanart!!! it’s where i’m getting a taste of all the ships too lol but yeah there’s angst and fluff and just charas looking s*xy they’ve got it all 😩 but that also reminds me, like most other big fandoms genshin fandom is kinda fkn shit 😔 once again i’m thankful to myself for keeping such a small circle lmaooooo

honestly i don’t know either?? i think it helps me distinguish between what i’m actually writing vs what i’m planning like if i do something like “JUMPS OFF PLATFORM, LANDS IN FRONT. so, are you going to introduce me or do i have to do it myself ETC THEN THEY TALK SUDDENLY there’s the sound of a windchime, and VILLAINS HERE GOTTA FIGHT” it’ll look something like that jdjsndkskd where the lowercase is exact dialogue I wanna write in but the caps is just planning

but winging it ey that’s hot of you 🤪 god do you ever just like thinking about potential ideas before falling asleep but then your phone is far away/you don’t wanna hurt your eyes looking at a screen but then you’re also afraid you’ll forget the idea DJKSXKSK

:o! i think i stayed away bc of the whole “stan loona” thing DHSKKS but i might give them another shot! therefore i am is one of my go to songs rn hehe i really like the beats she uses they’re so funky. i don’t really like ariana sorry FJDJKSKS but she does have a lot of bangers!! side to side… 😘👌 and i do know the neighbourhood! sweater weather is so iconic but lately i’ve been skipping that too aahah. but have you heard daddy issues slowed? oh my god. that singlehandedly started my obsession with slowed songs (ironic isn’t it when you consider i don’t listen to normal slow songs fjsjdj) i like summertime sadness from lana! and young and beautiful too (the radio songs AHAH) but yeah.. they’re slow fjdkksks. how do you feel about halsey + melanie martinez + bastille? (i’m always paranoid about listing artists bc so many get cancelled or what other and i feel like randos are gonna come for me too JDKSKSKA.) oh and troye sivan!! and pentatonix if you’ve heard of them? i was obsessed with those two back in 2015 ahaha

omg crazy.. how!! hm my favourite hour is maybe 12pm? or 2pm? just some time in the afternoon i like when it’s still light outside but it’s also like “after school” time kinda .. and yesss reading fic at late hours… gets me crying more easily 🤪

i don’t think i’ll catch your next reply so goodnight in advance!! hope your day is great <3