#this is just my (overly thought-out) reasoning for why i'm not a fan personally

[jellicle-chants]

I've always wanted a CATS animated movie that depicts the characters as actual cats (rather than people in cat costumes), with either Don-Bluth-style traditional animation or more modern "hyper-realism" CGI. But I wonder if that would take the "theatre" appeal out of it for other people. What do you think?

I'll be honest, I've never really been in love with the idea of making CATS the musical an animated movie. I think the designs that exist from the proof of concept are cool, but there's also definitely reasons they struggled to take it past that stage. This is not to say that Eliot's poems could never be adapted into a children's animated movie, but I think making it specifically an adaptation of the stage show is what makes it iffy. I'll try to break it down more under the cut:

Problem A: at the end of the day, CATS is a dance show. A lot of the show is just dancing, and very involved dancing at that. What are you supposed to do with the 9 minute dance break from the Ball? It's too iconic to cut, and the non-anthropomorphic cats ironically don't have the articulation to pull off a lot of the dance moves. (I'm thinking of movies like The Aristocats for comparison, which really doesn't have the characters do much that actual cats physically couldn't. I guess if it were more like An American Tail it wouldn't be so jarring, but I'll get to that later.)

Problem B: CATS has too little plot for a traditionally structured movie. The 2019 version also ran into this problem, which of course it solved in the worst way conceivable, but it's still a problem. Movie and theatre audiences simply have different expectations, suspension of disbelief, etc. that CATS is too theatrical to cross over into. I think it would be really interesting to make a Fantasia-like movie with each of the poems/songs being a totally different short in an anthology, but I don't think that's what most people are imagining when they say they want an animated CATS movie.

Problem C: what do you do about humans? The cats of CATS live in a world clearly populated by humans, but they're never shown directly. Adding humans, to me at least, clearly poses a "power creep" problem: any adult human can easily overpower any cat, and also leans the movie towards a more plot-driven story (as I feel like a lot of animal movies with humans tend to have a human antagonist). On the other hand, you could just make the entire world be populated by cats, which would (mostly) solve the dancing problem. However, I feel like doing that misses the point of the original poems: to illustrate the different types of pet/stray cats. It's not as funny to imagine Skimbleshanks being in charge of a group of feline train workers (which could be a completely normal thing within talking-animal movies) than it is to imagine an entire train full of humans and the orange tabby cat who thinks he's in charge of all of them. The same goes for Bustopher Jones, Gus, Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer, etc., etc.

[pong03]

Leo kurosagi analysis

this was requested but tumblr wont let me post to their ask so: Okay, Leo is selfish. I'm not gonna deny all the bad things people say about him, or even deny he is a bad person, but he is a GREAT set up for a character. I would like to say that Tokyo debunker is giving set up for growth from each character, Leo is just the most Jarring, for the fan base. full disclosure, I did not like Leo or even consider liking him until I saw the HATE on here, I'm not just trying to be quirky by liking the most disliked character either. I tend to just want to see the good in what most people dislike. I like kpop and I tend to bias the most criticized or least biased members of a group, because I think it's an amazing feeling to give love... Although I understand it's cathartic to hate too, and that's probably why the Leo hate is so strong. I also still don't LIKE Leo, but I really do want to explore his character and I probably will make more posts as we see him more and as I experience him more myself. The Leo cu*king tho, is maybe my least favorite "trope" in TBD fanfic rn... but I don't k*nkshame y'all :*

I also would like to say Sho is his friend, not his victim or Rapunzel. There is some value to Leo in Sho's eyes and I think we shouldn't degrade that because we see that if Sho doesn't like someone he will not engage i.e Ren. Sho is a sweet character and I think he might be friends with Leo because he wants to see the best in him or knows his more repulsive behaviors are a defense mechanism or explained by other reasons we the MC are yet to see. Why I think that is even tho the weird blob guys in the mystery diner suck at making food he still wants to see the best in them, and that very scenario could be a cheeky analogy from the writers themselves, about Sho and Leo. Obviously Leo could be blackmailing Sho, I know that is a commonly held belief, but I do have some perspectives that could debunk that thought. Leo doesn't Garner blackmail on his peers. I think Leo is nosy, and invasive, but he is also incredibly capable, implied by his contributions to the vagastrom group case. If he wanted to figure out who Alan killed he could with his hacking prowess, but instead he asks Mido himself. In invasive ways yes, but he could just have found the information himself, whether by hacking or asking the countless witnesses of the clash. Rather he asks Mido face to face, and, correct me if I'm wrong we can't say he wouldn't have taken no for an answer because Mido just gets mad at his antics and never gives him a straight up no. Again I could be wrong so let me know if Alan does give him a straight no. It's been a while since chapter two for me.

Right now I want to explore some possibilities for his character given the information we have about him ATM. I mentioned above the fact his little nasty, mean, degrading comments could be a defense moreso that he wants people to try and push past that to see if they're viable as his friends. Especially because he is micro-influencer he might be protective of himself because of that. As well as being a chronic liar online he may want to know if he can trust you not to expose him online. I think exploring his past would be amazing because even his stigma makes him seem like an overly cautious person, as well as invasive. Cautious? I feel like its cut and dry that wanting to hear what people say when you aren't around could hint to him being quite anxious about what people think about him. like idk I also feel like the jealousy we see towards Sho might also be more about people finding Sho more approachable. I think because Leo wants to be more involved with people in power he might have not been trying to scare Subaru away because "Sho is mine >:(" and actually could have been jealous that Subaru noticed Sho first and not him. Still awful right? but also like I said I don't see Leo as enjoyable but more so a lot of room for redemption, or explanation. Sympathy or empathy might be something we feel for him a lot if he is properly explored.

Obvs these are just possibilities right :) I actually find him very cute and I like his catty behavior, especially because in comparison to other nasty ghouls he is like a kitten hissing at you, harmless. Like dude Taiga shot me, and you're just a nasty baby, I smell your fear on the inside, you just want to be loved like everyone else. He's a true tsundere and not that "I swear I don't like you!!" shit and I appreciate that. I hope nobody misconstrues this as defense of his toxicity more-so that the point of tokyo debunkers focus seems to be everyone is demonizing these teens who seriously are just teens, and sometimes teenagers are catty are toxic, but they're still learning. Especially when the adults suck too... if not more because they are adults. AND LEO IS HATED FOR BEING STINKY AND MEAN BUT TAIGA AND ROMEO ARE LIKED BUT SO MUCH MORE MORALLY DECREPIT... so idk that especially irks me. I still would like to know what people think and if you are also excited to see the exploration of the ghouls especially Leo, and what theories you may have on him yourself.

[azaharinflames]

I've been thinking a lot about Buck and Tommy, and honestly, my thoughts keep changing.

If this show weren’t led by Tim, I probably wouldn’t be so worried about Buck and Tommy. But since it is Tim’s show, I just don’t know.

I think the biggest problem for BuckTommy is actually Tim himself—he wants to attract the Bobs and make noise, and in doing so, he ends up writing these messy, half-baked storylines.

The reason so many of us truly believed Tommy was gone after 806 wasn’t just because of the exit interviews, but because we barely saw any development between Buck and Tommy outside of the episodes Tommy appeared in. He showed up in 801 and 805, both times with Eddie. Even then, I didn’t understand why Eddie kept getting inserted into scenes instead of focusing on Buck and Tommy’s dynamic.

After 806, I started to feel like maybe all of this—BuckTommy and even Bvddie—was just some strategic play by Tim to keep both sides hanging on. The couple’s story never really focused on just the couple. A third party was always involved. Then, they suddenly broke up for a pretty vague reason, and after that, Buck seemed totally unaffected—except for that one baking scene. It was like the breakup didn’t even happen. The whole thing felt choppy and disconnected, like the story was just patched together.

So I started wondering if they simply didn’t care about Buck and Tommy as a real couple, so they didn’t bother giving them a consistent storyline. Of course, the OS and Tim’s interviews didn’t help either.

Now, Tommy’s back in 811, and the story seems to be heading toward a reconciliation. But again, from 812 onward, Buck is acting like Tommy was never there.

Still, as many BuckTommy fans have pointed out—if their relationship was meant to be just a temporary thing, there would be no reason to bring Lou back. But they did bring him back. First with a scene clearly implying they had sex, then as part of a major two-part storyline that even included expensive helicopter scenes that didn’t really need to exist. And from what I’ve seen, there are hints that Tommy will appear again in the remaining episodes.

If the plan was just for them to break up, they could’ve just mentioned him briefly and moved on. But instead, we got a kiss, an implied sex scene—it reminded me of Tarlos, honestly—and those aren’t the kinds of moments you give to a couple that’s done for good. Even in 805, Tommy was caring for Buck without any physical affection. That brief hospital touch was apparently an ad-lib by Lou.

The way they shared a warm moment after sex, only for things to quickly turn cold and one person to leave—it really gave me rom-com vibes, like they broke up but will find their way back to each other. Plus, Tommy showed up in some recent BTS content, which is meaningful considering he’s not part of the 118.

So yeah, I’m not overly optimistic about BuckTommy, but I don’t think the door is completely closed either. My trust in Tim is pretty low, though.

At the end of the day, time will tell. I’m still really curious to see where this story goes. Of course, the best-case scenario would be Buck and Tommy getting back together—but as long as we get a satisfying storyline and a happy ending for Tommy, I don’t think I’ll be as angry as I was after 806.

Sorry if I rambled too much. I just really needed to talk to someone about all this. Thanks for listening.

No need to thank me, Nonnie. I'm happy to listen. Or, well, read.

Now, please know I think the way you are feeling is completely valid, and that I do see and agree with some of your points.

However, let me say this: I think that we, as a fandom, have let the negativity affect us too much, including our takes.

Again, this is not a dig at you. I know I have been too negative from time to time, and considering everything that's happened in the last year, I don't think it's that crazy for us to feel this way.

But still. I understand the doubt when it comes to Bucktommy, because at the end of the day, we don't know, and Lou is recurring, and we've been burned once already. I get that. And I'm not saying to forget about that, because it would be unwise. I'm still strictly on the team, have low expectations and low hope, because I'd rather be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed, or heartbroken again.

And I don't want to talk in absolutes because again. We don't know. But, from an objective point of view? Just looking at what the show is telling us?

They are making an effort with BT they have never done with any other of Buck's LI (at this point, I don't think even Taylor was this intertwined in the story), they made sure to show just how well Tommy works with Buck and how he takes care for him (which is a change in Buck's life).

From 812 onward, it doesn't make sense if Tommy is mentioned. 812&813 were episodes where Buck was barely present (outside the firehouse), because other characters had the spotlight. Sure, it would've been nice to hear Tommy's name, but factually? They didn't need to bring him up. And them not throwing a casual oh yeah I called Tommy, is a good sign, because that means that they want to show their story on screen, because they deem it important enough to be shown.

I'm sorry for how long this is getting, but I have to say - i don't think the drama we had this season was as bad as we initially thought. It will be if they stay broken up, but id they don't? Yeah, it tells me something I already suspected: that Tim thought they got together too quick, too easy. That he wanted to give them drama because if you look at any of the established couples, all have drama that have either kept them apart, or almost separated them. He's not breaking them for the sake of breaking them; he's purposefully giving them depth and making them have an actual story, be a couple the audience can be engaged with and can be worried about. At the end of the day, that's what they want - to keep their audience engaged.

Also, as for Tim, I think he has many flaws as a showrunner. But I think sometimes we go a bit too far. He has a plan. We might dislike it at times, but he does. And I understand being scared, and I share the sentiment, but I think we tend to villanise him a bit too much (not you, Nonnie, just wanted to make this point).

Anyway. Sorry for the long answer lol. I hope it helped even if it was in the form of a rant.

[pinkgy]

PB is fucking things up, but there's hope, and here's why

During the past hours i've gave different opinions about this whole mess that's going on with What in Hell is Bad, but this is my final opinion.

Please, don’t attack me for “justifying” PrettyBusy, because I’m not, I already expect bad reactions because of this post.

I decided to write this because moments ago I checked the game's Reddit page and well, i already knew that many people has been quitting the game for various reasons, like the constant bugs and the lack of new content, but within the past hours this number increased significantly and almost every player of What in Hell is Bad that has some kind of presence in social media related to the game has spoken up about this, and i'm glad this is happening. For change to happen people needs to speak up, but i think that by know, PrettyBusy already knows it. I talked about this in a reblog i did some weeks ago, but i'll say this again, PrettyBusy is a business, a small one, but a business, and they have and can keep track of many things that are going on in the game, and by now, they probably noticed that they are losing players even without having to check what's going on in different social medias, and my hypothesis is that there's some internal issue going on for them to have so many unfulfilled promises and so many things that are lacking in the game. But i don't mean to say that we should be considerate, that's something that's up to every singular person.

They know about what's going on, and if you ask me, i believe that by the end of the day we will have an update from them explaining everything, Prettybusy may be fucking up many things right now, but they are really receptive and i think many of us have noticed that with the past issues, the last one being when they deleted the mission that involved using Nightmare coins during the past Nightmare Pass when many of us started to complain about it, they had no need to fix that because it wasn't an impossible mission, really hard i must admit, but not impossible, but they still did and compensated us later. And no, i'm not excusing PrettyBusy, I’m just trying to see the positive side out of this. PrettyBusy is being greedy, not event the biggest dating games have 40$ cards, or even content that is worth that amount of money, and for a game that doesn't even have a year since it's release that is absolutely inconsiderate, my theory is that they noticed that those overly expensive cards were actually being sold by players so they thought that if they released others, the same would happen and the F2P players would just ignore it and keep playing, and they ended up making a mistake by saturating the game with paid content and neglecting those parts of the game that are actually important, the Main Story and the Organic Players. And surprisingly, this is a common mistake many companies do, but they usually end up fixing it, because at the end of the day, us, Organic Players of What in Hell is Bad are the best promotion for the game, or any game in question since this example can be used for many other situations, a singer can have the biggest billboards, the best music, the most expensive commercials, but the fans are always going to remain as the best promotion they could have EVER, and if they don't have fans, they won't be successful. And if me, a normal 19 year old college student can realize this, i'm sure a COMPANY, a BUSINESS, can definitely do it way better and quicker too. No game wants to lose players, yes, they're earning 40$ for selling those cards, but they’re losing waaaaay more by losing F2P players, and summarizing the last tho paragraphs, PrettyBusy needs us because we are money.

It makes me really sad to see many players lose interest in the game, and if any of you care, I'm not leaving, at least not for the time being, i know it sounds dumb to see the positive side of everything that's going on (Because it's definitely not positive at all) but i will keep doing it, I like the game but that doesn't mean I'm going to justify what PrettyBusy is doing, and I think that's a valid opinion.

To conclude this, I’m going to gaslight myself into thinking that PrettyBusy isn't dumb and they do know that what they're doing it's wrong, and they will search for a way to fix this as soon as possible, and if you think this is impossible, read again this post because that's the whole purpose of it. I hope I'm right, but if I'm not, then I’ll try to stay optimistic until they fuck it up again.

If you want to mail PrettyBusy complaining about this, I'm really glad you are! I'm working on a mail too, I recommend you read THIS post before you do it, and please, remain respectful.

Thank you so much for reading this long-ass post! I'll gladly accept any addition to this post or any comment, but please remain respectful, and remember, this is a personal opinion, I'm also a F2P player, and believe me when I say that I'm as mad as you are about this but I just have my own point of view of it.

[mewguca]

I saw your post on moon back in February, and was curious what are your thoughts on the other iterators?

Not really sure how to summarize them, but I'm also a huge fan of Five Pebbles, and I don't really care that much about anyone else.

Well, VANILLA Five Pebbles. I cannot stand him in Downpour. I feel as though Downpour unintentionally reinforces misogynistic stereotypes by infantilizing FP and forcing LTTM to parent him. I also hate how it infantilizes him unrelated to LTTM's treatment; characterizing someone who felt like a real human person into an overly emotional teenager throwing a temper tantrum after killing his sister is... A choice. Did you know that in Vanilla, in Hunter, he calls her his friend? But in Rivulet, he won't even speak to her. We see more depth and maturity and character growth in one campaign than we do in the entirety of Downpour, and that's really saying something.

I wish he had grown in Downpour. No, sacrificing his heart while he's already dying and typing out two sentences to Moon isn't growth. He's not being challenged; he's working completely within his comfort zone. Moon types up a five-paragraph essay and he leaves her on read. Okay.

anyways downpour haterism aside I really like his Vanilla characterization and how he serves to parallel Moon. He's the Yang to her Yin, the Push to her Pull, etc etc. So desperate to escape from his struggles (and depending on interpretation, to give everyone that escape) that he's willing to risk everything. He hurts his neighbor and himself in the process, blinded by ambition and desperation. So entrenched in his struggles that he is being consumed by his failures from the inside out. The allegory for mental illness is certainly striking.

He acts selfishly, but he's not uncaring. He's worried about his sister, but he lacks the means and the strength to properly reach out to her. Perhaps he feels he does not deserve to. His isolation is one of shame and guilt, rather than one of rage and pride. He's quiet.

Ironically, this all brings Moon closer to the jellyfish in the net. As she stops trying, she gains a new perspective and perhaps a newfound appreciation for life and the world around her. She connects with the smallest of creatures, sharing her knowledge freely and passionately, happy to make connections. She, like the jellyfish, flows limply through the net. Meanwhile, Pebbles, still very powerful and capable, tangles himself further. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot help himself, and he seems further and further from the Solution every day.

NSH is someone we don't see much of in Vanilla, and I haven't really read the broadcasts for Spearmaster in a while. There's not much to say; she seems interesting. I like the sense of humor, and I feel for their dedication to their dear friend. I also liked their emotional intelligence in Downpour, and it makes me wonder if it's something they picked up talking to Moon, since she has so much of it. I also liked his conversation to pebbles; I remember that. And I remember liking their dynamic with SRS.

Seven Red Suns is a Character That Exists,

Chasing Wind is my little blorbo oh my god. They're so normal and mundane I love them. You should re-read the broadcast pearl dialogue with them sometime... They're a bit of a gossip, maybe? But they're not particularly catty or anything; they're just A Guy who talks about current-ish events. So endearing... IM BEING SERIOUS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND (also why are they browsing sliverist lines? are they nosy? hm? fascinating!)

We don't really know anything about Unparalleled Innocence. Through context clues, we can reasonably assume they're a part of the same Local Group as FP, LTTM, NSH, and CW, but they don't speak in the conversation about Erratic Pulse or in any other broadcast pearls. We only hear about them secondhand from CW, and who guesses at their intentions. It's interesting that some people have treated UI like a villain or a mean person from that one line of dialogue; we literally have no idea lol. maybe they didn't really think about it. shrugs. less interesting than CW imo

okay sorry I will talk about Suns. They're like... Okay in Vanilla? I guess? It's neat to highlight that Iterators in different Local Groups communicate amongst each other and form friendships with one another. I'm glad they included that detail. Um... Downpour Suns is. A Person who Exists? I feel like the Downpour logistical issue of "too many writers with differing takes on the world and characters" is at its peak in Spearmaster campaign, and unfortunately Suns is perhaps its biggest victim. NSH is handled better, and LTTM and FP both have excellent Vanilla characterization to fall back on. What does SRS have? Two conversations? Both of which serve to confuse and complicate the narrative and character presented in Spearmaster. (SPEARMASTER IS A TEMPORAL ANOMALY)

Vanilla Suns is a teasing friend whom FP looks up to, whilst Downpour Suns is a passive mentor who simultaneously infantilizes FP and is also the only one to take him seriously, apparently. They're close enough that they send illegal information to each other, (Or at least Suns does because apparently Downpour FP just browses Sliverist chats for fun and somehow can't find it??? himself?????) But they're distant enough for this incident (that is STILL FP's FAULT??? unless he's meant to be a completely naïve fool who does whatever others tell him to but I really don't think DP is that uncharitable) to completely shatter their bond FOREVER. Missed opportunity here tbh; perhaps we should've seen FP reaching out to his other connections, too.

you may notice I'm speaking a lot about what SRS does and not as much who they are. what is suns like? idk! the game doesn't seem to know, either! they get attached to their messenger and that is Cute I guess. idk. It's not even that I dislike SRS; I just don't care. It frustrates me, because I can see the potential (see faeling's posts about them for a compelling intention ) and I think it could have been very nuanced and messy and interesting, but the execution we got falls very short, sadly. sorry SRS.

Sliver Of Straw is more of a Concept than a Character, but that doesn't make her any less fascinating or compelling. I think if we knew more about her, ironically, we'd have so much less reason to care. I love the idea that she was just a silly guy who messed around (downpour lizard betting). I also like the idea that LTTM was one of the few people who knew her (because she wasn't particularly noteworthy before the broadcast) as it makes it all the more tragic. LTTM is missing so much, and she can't really communicate with anyone anymore. Who will remember the real Sliver Of Straw now? Likely no one.

On a meta level, I also love how we repeat the actions of the Iterators in-game. We theorize, we speculate, we mythologize—even deify—but none of us have any certainty. None of us know the real Sliver Of Straw. It's so much fun and so wonderfully poetic.

anyways yeah. sorry I don't feel like editing this so you get my poorly-worded 8 AM thoughts . hopefully you got something here. sorry for being so vitirolic. also please do not take my opinions as gospel im just some guy

[defendingtheowlhouse]

Now, it is time to do what is basically equivalent to playing with snakes again and critique another set of passionate critiques (this time even more passionate). Today, I am handling belos, which will probably go... less then spectacular.

Belos is a character who receives a lot of criticism around the end of the series, I will be completely unable to cover every point about him or the most well argued versions of those points as I do not have them. I do not hate belos fans, but I also often find myself disagreeing with some but not all of them, so I wish to respectfully disagree. these will be pretty scatterbrained. Please have patience.

One of the arguments is that it's significantly bad that we don't get a flashback scene on him, and while that may be intriguing, I don't see how it's necessary. We are given context to him throughout seasons 2b and 3 with the paintings and the hayride, giving us baseline information on key elements on his backstory. (Orphan, betrayed by his brother, who he seemed to look up to, brother leaves, belos kills him) it's pretty barebones, and while it would be very interesting to have something more in depth and many fan artists have provided that that doesn't mean the show had to. What we are given is meant to provide lore and context, but it isn't a story. I don't see how a flashback would do much more than retread old steps while maybe making it a little more sad and characterise the characters who aren't really characters, which I don't really see as needed, not much will change depending on weather caleb was nice or mean or something else entirely. I don't see the problem in leaving these things up to interpretation. If someone wants to explain *respectfully* why they disagree please go ahead.

Another is that belos wanting to be 'the hero of his own delusion' means he's out for glory and is therefore completely flattened of all intrigue on purpose for some reason. I do not understand this because while glory is an interpretation of that line, the one that I find more likely and intriguing is that he wants to feel like a good person more than he wants to be one. Wanting to be right while falling into the pitfalls of wilful ignorance, the wanting to be good before wanting to evaluate what is good. We see this as a theme in the show through Jacob and Hunter (Jacob literally having the line 'I'm the good guy here' (acting as a mirror to belos wanting to be a hero since season 2a in my opinion showing how it wasn't just said as a way to purposefully flatten him because they don't like him) and hunter who is shown repeatedly using thought terminating clichés to keep himself able to go against his moral compass). It's also this veiw that somehow belos' entire handling in the finale was a response to spite his fans while that would probably take lots of effort in changing what was probably planned out relatively early on while working on season 2b and 3 to the point where I can't see how realistic it is to say that they changed the things in season 3 in response to the response to hollow mind.

My main problem is that I see many had overly specific expectations that weren't lived up to because they weren't exactly how people wanted him to be and the chances of their vision of belos and the writers vision of him don't align. A selection of (definitely not all, if this doesn't apply to you, I'm not talking about you) belos fans don't seem interested in the show at all outside of their idea of belos and his lore and while that's fine, you're allowed to do that, the show juggling many other themes and characters probably aren't going to be as fleshed out as works focused on that.

Sorry if I don't make sense or am fighting points that don't really exist and missing the actual points. It's tricky when I'm not going against something specific and I'm also not my best thinking wise right now

Please be nice to me, I just got home from the hospital for a mental breakdown the day before yesterday.

[allastoredeer]

No hate, just asking.

So you just personally like bottomAlastor and make every ship with him as bottom because of your personal likes. But this works the same way with bottomLucifer. People liking it and making him bottom in any ship. Or liking topAlastor and making him top in every ship. Maybe there are people who just go with trends in ship dynamics, but a lot of shippers just like it without any 'making mlm into hetero' meaning. Yes even when making Lucifer a bit more feminine since they do it in every ship simply cause more feminine Lucifer does things to them.

Exactly 👉👉 people like what they like and they don't need to defend or give me a list of reasons why they like it. I figured people liked bottom!Lucifer or top!Alastor because it scratches that itch for them (much like me with bottom!Alastor), otherwise they wouldn't be writing/drawing it at all.

It's why I don't seek out fans I disagree with or lurk on their pages/blogs to bombard them with reasons why I, personally, don't like how they depict radioapple (and because that's just a shitty thing to do in general, and no should be doing that. That's a one-way ticket to turning fandom into a very toxic place).

I keep my opinions and thoughts to my blog page for that reason. This is place where I can write about the things I like and dislike, post my art and fics, and interact with fans who share the same thoughts and feelings as I do. I'm sure a lot of fans would disagree, but, to me, most of the depictions of radioapple that I've seen come off as incredibly hetero coded, and a lot of the way Alastor is drawn/written squicks me out, especially when he tops. And that's not in the way that he's overly sexualized or anything, imma gonna sexualize that man to my heart's content, but Alastor's ace identity means a lot to me, and a lot of the time I just...don't feel it with him.

Now there's no "correct" way to write an ace character, as its a spectrum. There isn't a checklist of things you HAVE to follow. But with Alastor, especially when it's in a written work - especially when it's HIS pov - he doesn't feel ace. You can't tell that someone is ace based on how they talk or act - not usually - just like you can't assume a man is gay based on how he runs or talks, or a woman a lesbian because she has a short haircut. But in his POV, we're supposed to be in his head, we're seeing his thoughts and emotions. It's the perfect time to explore what he feels and thinks about relationships, sex, and everything in between, and yet most of the time he reads like any other non-ace character. It's like there's no real thought or consideration given to his identity and the experiences that come with it. Asexuality is more than "don't like sex" or "only like sex sometimes," there's so much more to it than that.

But I also know that this may be the first time some people are interacting or playing with an ace character, and just the fact that they're trying - however unintentionally aphobic it comes off sometimes - the effort is appreciated.

It's a real back and forth thing for me, obviously, LOL fandom culture and spaces can be so frustrating but so fascinating at the same time.

I don't think anyone is intentionally making the ship hetero, nor do they mean to - and besides, this is how I feel, and I know everyone isn't going to feel the exact same way. I'm sure there are people who see it as a very queer relationship, and I'm not going to judge or fight them over it. Everyone has different perspective, after all.

At the end of the day, I don't mind bottom!Lucifer (I see him as a switch, so he definitely enjoys bottoming), I just don't like how he's written/drawn with top!Alastor. It's the depiction of it that turns me off. I've seen top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer art before that I have liked, but its few and far between, and overall not worth diving into to root out the few pieces I've enjoyed.

I like feminine Lucifer, but not to the extent that I've seen. I like the masculine side of him too, especially because he's a shortie. I like masculine Alastor, but I adore his feminine side. Alastor exudes so much gender, it's insane. He pulls off masculine, feminine, and even non-binary so well. He's versatile ❤️ And it aggravates me when he's depicted as super masculine and all the other stuff is toned down, if not stripped away.

But, like I said, that's why I stay in my little corner and I focus on what I enjoy. Ranting about things you don't like in fandom isn't bad, especially with fans that agree with you. It's very cathartic actually, and I've felt more connected with the fandom than I have since the show aired. it's only when you make your emotions, thoughts, and opinions other people's problems that it becomes a negative thing.

I'm not here to rain on people's parades, so I support, encourage even, that those who do like the things I dislike (and don't enjoy seeing me clown on them) block me. No hard feelings from me. I get it.

Damn, these posts really run away from me. They get so much longer than I intend XD

But anyway, I'm glad people are having fun with super feminine bottom!Lucifer and super masculine top!Alastor, that's the whole point of fandom, but it just isn't for me, at all, and I will likely continue to rant/clown on it with the fans who also share my opinion. I'm not going to shove it anyone's face of course, I'm keeping it to my blog, and I am A-okay with being blocked if that's not something people want to see 😊

[revolutionarygirlkaasy]

Thoughts on sympathy for James in SH2

I was originally going to write this in response to somebody else's SH2 post, but I think I should start my own to say this. Spoilers ahead.

Silent Hill 2 depicts misogyny. It depicts ableism. It depicts abuse and murder. And we know depiction is not endorsement, but neither is approaching a wrongdoer's story with nuance and sympathy.

For the record, in the 20+ years since SH2 came out, I've never seen anybody seriously argue that James was justified in killing Mary, or even that what he did is excusable. In the old days it was actually pretty common for people to say James is a murderer, that's all there is to it, and the only appropriate punishment is if he kills himself or whatever. And to be fair, James himself may agree with that depending on the ending you get.

Fortunately, the average player's interpretation of SH2 seems to be maturing with time. Nowadays there's greater acceptance of the idea that the nightmare Silent Hill shows to James does not depict the whole truth, but rather what James hates about himself and cannot accept. Fans are also more willing to consider what terminal disease is like from a caretaker's perspective, or the expectations (and entitlements) of manhood, or the secret suffering within the modern family unit, or even the disaster that is the American healthcare system. The game doesn't offer an exact explanation for why James broke, which is on purpose: it's up to you to imagine that grim situation and pepper in the details on your own. It's up to you to imagine what would push you to make that kind of choice. James' suffering is not suggested to have eclipsed Mary's, of course, yet you are meant to acknowledge that it was there.

And so James killed Mary. Much like in Crime and Punishment, one of the inspirations for SH2, the protagonist's situation had gotten so bad that killing seemed like a reasonable solution. But despite the grumbles I've been hearing, if SH2 wasn't condemning James' actions, then why would this story be told in the form of a horror game? And if the game didn't think it was worth knowing the ugly truth, or asking whether James can be redeemed, why would we have this story at all?

I guess what I'm saying is that if current fans seem overly kind to James for your tastes, it's fine to feel that way. And if you hate James because you personally really relate to Mary, I'm sorry. Still, I won't miss the days of zero sympathy takes on James. While it's definitely not true that anybody would do the same in his shoes, this is not the story of an evil person showing his true colors when put to the test. This isn't a story where we explore the circumstances that justify a murder. This is a story about people, not just James, reaching a breaking point and fighting to live with themselves afterward. These are tragic characters, and they should be treated as such.

[motelroomjesus]

Hi, friends! I started Your Sky like two days ago and I'm on ep9 already. Anyway quick thought dump about Teerak and his overall character. I very much love him.

There's not anything I perceive to be spoilers but! Just in case, proceed under the cut with caution ig!

One thing I'm really enjoying about Your Sky is that Teerak is a bright, youthful, soft spoken character who still maintains his own agency throughout the series (so far).

He has what can be perceived as a childlike vibe/personality and traits sometimes. Despite his struggles speaking up for himself sometimes and being too cautious of people's feelings, he is still an adult who knows what he wants and needs and who tries to communicate those needs with the people that are close to him. He makes his own choices and tries to problem solve just like any other person his age.

I'm tired of characters like Teerak often being delegated to the cliches of being overly naive, innocent, and often ditzy and stupid. Although Teerak is babied by friends and family alike (he is cute and should be babied imo), he's still given the space to, y'know, be his own person outside of his cute and youthful demeanor.

Also sooo over fans treating these kinds of characters as literal children. You've never met an adult with childlike whimsy?? Someone who exudes youthful wonder and excitement?? They're great and also still adults!! They are out there making decisions and being sexual beings if they so please.

My fatigue with this specific character trope is probably why I'm enjoying Phukan in The Boy Next World so much. Phu is also a very youthful character, but he's not stupid and he's usually very firm in his decisions and boundaries and I love him for it! He also wants to fuck and he's sure of it and I love that for him !!!! Perfect 10 Liners made into my watchlist after seeing clips of Santa as Gun because of this reason too.

Let whimsy people who exude youthful energy do adult shit !

[issuesdolly]

My weirdest experience yet.

Y'all..... I haven't shared anything in a while but this is truly the weirdest thing that has happened to me yet. Nonfiction, true life anecdote lol

About a week ago (and I'm trying to spare personal details of this person here).... I saw on the JD fan page and amazing tribute band that does Korn covers.. The lead singer looks and sounds so much like Jonathan it's unbelievable. I checked out their Instagram and I left the dude literally two comments. He almost never responds to followers unless they are his friends.

He slid into my DMs and thanked me and we started talking. We wound up talking on Instagram phone chat feature a lot and then video calls over the next few days between his tour gigs. Obviously that was more than a little bit exciting for me lol. Since obviously he's his own person but he does an amazing JD impersonation on stage... And obviously looks like a doppelganger. Maybe at some point I should figure out this is problematic in my personal life lol

But anyway I didn't think he could possibly be more into me than I was into him....

But, no amount of conversation seemed to be enough for him. We would be talking for 5 to 7 hours on and off throughout the entire day or sometimes five consecutive hours on video (no naughtiness just talking about our lives and stuff).. he seems really kind but definitely on my level of super lonely.

Beyond lonely. I didn't think anyone in this world was lonelier than I am I figured he must have a big social circle because he has a huge following but he's actually from a small town when he's not performing and yeah... Limited circle and not good family (neither do I). Obviously things like this brought us together along with a lot of other life experiences we shared.

He's a kind soul but I didn't think anyone in this world.... Had the potential to be this clingy. I have health problems so I explained some days I'm not very communicative but the boundaries are not being respected.

I'm getting that bad feeling that when I don't answer he's flipping out increasingly. I was talking to him for 3 hours this evening explaining my life circumstance and why I can't be talking this long everyday and he acted like he got it... But then at the end of the conversation he said he hopes that tomorrow he and I could talk for a longer time 😳 so the message was not received.

I never thought I would actually be tired of Jonathan 😆😂 but getting smothered by a person who looks like Jonathan not in a good way has been quite the experience.

I don't see this ending well. Sucks because he seems amazingly kind but definitely doesn't understand boundaries and seems to have an issue with not being able to shut up if you get him talking.... And obviously if you don't talk to him he's pretty upset. Damn.

Only reason I am sharing any of this is because I would appreciate some suggestions??? 😳 Dude has a massive following I would have figured especially because he looks and sounds so similar to JD there would be other girls where if I'm not communicating he could have some other conversations but.... Apparently I'm his main focus and honestly he's seeming obsessed with me. And I'm not saying this like some kind of confidence boost I'm not that cool so why on earth is he obsessed with me. And I don't say obsessed lightly I think obsessive texting and calling and thinking about me during a given day after knowing each other for so little time is weird even in my book. I'm honestly baffled at my reality 😆

How do I let him down easy?

I would be fine to keep talking with him if he gave me some space and obviously if he was being mean and aggressive it would be easier but if I tell him I can't talk right now he just simply acts heartbroke

Update: he's been respecting my space more so far.. he did say it was overkill but he was overly excited because he really wants me to be his girlfriend. I would definitely like to be his girlfriend 😳 so I guess we will see how it goes if we can find a healthy balance LOL.

[chelseahotel2004]

initial thoughts on bright future🎤❓

hello celia dear! MWAH! unfortunately i've let this ask fester for literally a whole entire year old so sadly i can no longer share my initial thoughts... but on the bright side (bright future??!) because i've had time to really sit with this album i've also had the time to let my opinions properly develop. very long post incoming:

overall thoughts: i have pretty mixed feelings about this album... on the one hand, there is a lot that it does well. i don't think adrianne can write a bad lyric, and there's also a real sense of intimacy + sonic coherence which i appreciate. on the other hand, bright future unfortunately does not stand up to the rest of adrianne's discography to me. the highs on this album are pretty good, but the lows are just sooo forgettable. i also find that this album really struggles from a lack of instrumental texture/some disappointing production choices. usually i wouldn't mind this too much, but i fear that in this case the songwriting itself just isn't strong enough to hold up as accoustic/single instrument pieces. sorry adrianne i do love your stuff the bar is just high. anyways here's a song by song breakdown!

real house - i always appreciate when an opener is an accurate representation of the songs to follow, which real house does successfully, for better or for worse. this is perhaps the best example of what i mean when i say that the production is just too stripped back. im not a huge fan of only having the piano (which, side tangent, sounds more like an electric keyboard to me, which is not a good thing. why are you using an electric keyboard for an intimate slow piece when you could just use a real piano?? idk, but im not a fan.) the lyrics are beautiful, but the melody is too repetitive for me to want to listen to this more than i have to. i like it as an opener and as a poem, but not so much as a song. this is made worse by the fact that it is six whole minutes long. i like when she says "and they'd go... oh man!" 4/10

sadness as a gift - this is the most streamed on the album for a reason, and that reason is that this is just a solidly good song. everything about this is great, but the vocal performance here is just brilliant... i always like when the fiddle and accoustic guitar come out to play. bittersweet beauty. 7.5/10

fool - YAYYYYY!!!! this one is so fun. great rhythmic sense (kinda reminds me of heavy bend?). i really like the contrasting production styles between the vocals and instrumental.. the vocals are very tinny and the instrumental comes through so cleanly. i also really like that the guitar line is put to the front of the mix. 8/10

no machine - this is a quintessential ''adrianne lenker'' sounding song. so obviously it's great. not much to say it's just nice. 7/10

free treasure - my personal favourite!!! such a precise control of rhythm here that it feels both constrained yet free. the way each line trips into the next makes me feel like im running down a hill with my footsteps pattering in a way where i think i'm almost about to tumble, even if i never do. i feel the wind in my hair. everytime she sings "i havent smelled food so good and i don't know when" i black out because it's just that good. i think i hauve covid. 10/10

vampire empire - thank GOD we got "fish and she's my gills" back. not as good as the big thief version, but i like it. 7/10

evol - we are officially at the point where i feel the album drops off significantly. idk man... it's a good song don't get me wrong. but i feel it suffers from the same problems as real house? we have the same weirdly produced piano line that is overpowered by a repetitive overly-plaintive vocal line. i don't dislike it, but it feels like. okay..? i do really like the alliteration/rhyming a lot. 5/10

candleflame - blah... . again, not a bad song. but there is just nothing special about it that grabs me. even after listening to this album so many times i still forget how this one sounds if i am not actively listening. it is so nothing-burger. 3/10

already lost - WE ARE SO BACK! similar production style to fool, which obv i like. some GREAT melodic motion here. the progression at "a thousand years or more" is just like !! ah! so good. finally a song on this album that has a bit of tension/motion. lol. 8/10

cell phone says - this one is suchhhh a let down for me i'm sorry. i remember it being my most anticipated listen because the title is so baller and maybe my expectations were too high? but i still haven't come around to it even now so idk. anways i just feel very underwhelmed by the lyrics here which normally would be like. okay. fine. but unfortunately there is just hardly anything else to judge it by considering how stripped back the sound is! (again)!!! listen, i love accoustic ballads but if you aren't going to give me compelling lyrics, rhythm OR melody, then i need more. i'm being harsh but i do like this song. i just think that it's a let down. 5/10

donut seam - okay... love??! this song would be great on its own, but the backup vocals take it to a whole new level. yet another bittersweet beauty. 9/10

ruined - you may think i'm going to complain about ruined having the same problems as real house + evol. but i'm not. congratulations ruined you passed!!! even though the production is similar, the song is saved by having interesting tension in the melody. also the very subtle droning synth in the back adds just enough texture that im not frustrated. a bit of a strange choice for closer imo? but it does cycle nicely so who am i to judge. 7/10

overall average: 6.7/10

[thattimdrakeguy]

What Happens When You Only USED To Care

I find it extremely hard to take any person in the fandom that does that schtick where they make fun of Tim based on made up or overly exaggerated stuff seriously.

I can't even find it within myself to give them the power of my hate, because it's more like a fly near your ear. You swat em away and bye bye bye.

Maybe it's because I know so much about how DC ended up being, that I can tell when they're bullshitting and saying stuff others put in their ear.

I mean you take a kid's favorite toy, and add modifications and paint jobs that take away the whole point of the toy, the kid's aren't going to want to play with it anymore.

Am I expected to blame the toy itself?

Especially with how the fandom has bastardized these characters that they so clearly love, but they still constantly get cancelled.

And I won't make mention of who, because someone will get sensitive, and plus then say "WELL TIM DID TOO" showing they're completely missing my point and didn't read the whole post.

I'm not sure why the fandom thinks taking complex and fascinating characters that allowed readers to escape their potentially bleak lives to jump into something more joyful (at least in an entertainment kind of way) and turning them into sitcom tropes is a great idea that OH IS SO GREAT, and EVERYONE WILL PREFER.

'Cause when the comics start copying that trend, you're actually scaring most people away.

Sure it's different from the big bad edgy we had to deal with a while, but it's still not getting these things back to were the once were.

You're replacing the bad, with a different flavor of bad. This time coated in a superficial dusting of praise that doesn't help anything get anywhere.

See, the fandom isn't as big as it may seem. It functions as an echo chamber which gives the illusion of their being way more. These comics wouldn't constantly be cancelled if they were as good or as popular as people make them out to be.

So all those posts praising the nonsense are as functional as having that one friend who praises you no matter what while the rest of the world says otherwise. Might feel good at the time, but let's face it, it gets you nowhere.

And that's just how the internet works. A bunch of little weirdos sitting around making their chamber, and thinking what they say to someone else still matters.

But it don't.

It doesn't.

They're all just so confident they mean something, when they mean as much to the greater world as a weed so far out of view, you don't bother trying to pull it.

You can make up what ever you want, and try to be as abrasive and irritating about what you made up as much of you want, go out praising when some desperate writer that settles for brownie points over critical praise and legacy puts it into a comic to find validation also as much as you want.

But the lack of genuine interest from most people still leaves it as a dud.

So many characters people think are popular, when they're tragically not, no matter if they were formerly good, is saddening. Because a lot of these characters at one point were good, and interesting, and genuinely popular beyond the small pond filled with indignity.

At best they have fan bases that once cared but now no longer do. That don't bother paying attention, because why should they after being denied the simple thing they want--good writing and characterization. The whole reason most start reading in the first place.

I might point one finger at one of these dudes, because I can comfortably say I used to love them too.

No one bothers trying to help out, and bring them back up though.

They want the instant glorification from a bunch of nobodies, who don't care about them as a person, and are only a validation machine instead of anything with a beating heart in it that will truly be there for them when times gets rough besides thoughts and prayers alone.

And as many years as I've seen this stuff, it never stops.

If I haven't been in a better place since I've almost entirely left DC behind in the dust, I would consider that depressing.

These people are online doing this so much that it is what they dedicate their lives to.

It is their life.

They made themselves so unlikable though, that a lot can't be bothered to find pity.

If you have to rewrite reality in your brain, what's the point of living there? You're just convincing yourself you're the only one not wrong, with no hint of irony. What a weirdo thing to do.

Clinging on to things with no solid backing.

In the grand scheme of things they are that insignificant unless you're also stuck in the chamber.

Hell, the only reason I made this post as long as it is, is less out of care and passion, and more because I can't help myself from being overly wordy.

If only DC could be fucked to remember what it takes to write good stories instead of ripping fandom people off. Maybe something would click in and once again take off.

And giving the illusion they now care--

As we can see with the frequent cancelations--

That only works when you have the talent and know how, to tell good stories, with great characters once again. A retro paint job and partially putting the character where they should be can only do so much, when limited talent has to take the rest of the wheel.

Otherwise all you're gonna get is a month or two of decent sells...and it's back into the dumpster again. Where the higher ups might eventually decide to blame the toy and not the manufacturers.

Unless you're Batman or Superman or that level of iconic/popular.

Disappointingly and quite obviously, it's not hard to know if not assume most characters don't have that level of icon to have their back in the dark times. Meaning most go back into the void unless the ones upstairs think this time their new failed from the start scheme will win them all back.

The secret of success in comics is simple, now it may not go back to the way it was, but they can still come back a bit, and here's the secret--

Learn how to fucking tell good stories, with good characterization, with artists that are beyond simply having good talent, but actual passion that shows them how everything's supposed to be.

If I order a nerf gun, and comes not looking anything like what it did on the box.

You know damn well the person who bought it is going to be displeased and not order from them again.

You're testing customer loyalty, and the economy not doing as grand, and prices going up--

The amount of time you have to get them back is depleting.

So get your head out of your ass and actually do something.

[oh-sweet-mama]

Soooo as I've been thinking; Imagine a Frankie Morales, (and the rest of the boys), in an outbreak!AU like I'm talking TLOU zombies. Soooo many thoughts.

(Sorry this is my favorite gif of Francisco!)

CW: zombie apocalypse canon violence <33, mild angst (longing for pre-outbreak), no descriptors other than "Beautiful", "gorgeous", and “stunning”

Like imagine him being all protective as you all backpack across the country following leads to a safe haven. (Sm like Jackson).

Imagine being forced to share a sleeping bag or a mattress, and y'all are secretly crushing on each other. He tries to keep himself at a distance, but he some how wakes up with you pressed against him, and that creates another issue within itself.

Santi and Benny constantly teasing him with looks and snickers as he wakes up to see them looking at the pair of you snuggled up with one another on a hot June night.

Imagine Frankie having to help you after you get injured from getting caught in a shootout at a rundown corner store. All gentle eyes, and calloused hands as he stitches you up.

Cooing that he "knows it hurts" and "It's going to be ok, baby. Only a couple more stitches". Followed with "You're doing so good, it's almost over".

As if he isn't the one dousing the wound with rubbing alcohol and poking your skin with a needle. You still look at him like he hung the stars and the moon, because you know that this is your Frankie helping you.

He gingerly takes you to bed, and pulls the shitty covers up your chin. Softly petting a hand over your forehead to brush stray hairs, and sweat. You look up at him, and Frankie smiles at you; partly in love, and partly in sadness.

Sadness that this is the reality now. That you got hurt trying to look for a can of green beans to feed the group.

But oh how he loves you. Way too overly protective, and didn't let you go into stores or run down buildings for the first 6 months of the outbreak. Barely lets you get close to having to pull your own firearm out, constantly keeping you tucked behind him, with his broad frame.

The feeling of usually having his hand wrapped around your upper arm. So he can pull you away from danger if needed.

The brown eyes that were once rarely hardened and mean, now only melt at the sight of you. Even when you inist that you feel gross; and haven't properly showered in a while. He doesn't care; he thinks the you're still the most beautiful person he's ever laid his eyes upon.

Even as you get rougher due to the outbreak, and backpacking through the haphazard land of was once a country. The scars that now adorn your face, and body. He thinks you're gorgeous. Abosloutely stunning.

Sometimes he wonders what it woud've been like if the two of you had gotten together before shit hit the fan. And that's when he lays there at night, with an ache in his heart, and an arm around you waist holding you close. He grieves the dream that he wanted to have a home with you. He'll imagine that the two of you are in a bed, in a safe room, with an overly spacious master bath. And his truck parked out front, and his only worry is when the next time is he'll mow the lawn. What's for dinner, and who's washing the dishes.

But Francisco Morales will take whatever your willing to give. He doesn't understand why you're still you even after all of this mess. Maybe it's the man that was in the army and saw days of combat that is currently out to play. But you still smile, and you still crack your stupid jokes. You steal his hat, and tease him about his dimple. And oh my- He's laughing in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse because of you. But he doesn't hate you for it; in fact, you're one of the last reasons he has to keep going.

AN: Did I just word vomit about Francisco Morales in the zombie apocalypse? yes! Did this possibly stem from the fact that I've been reading wayyy to much Joel Miller x Reader... possibly... Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed :)

[yuseirra]

This is just a running thought in my head, but the phone call in the first volume of this series really bugs me...there's something about it, I can't really put my finger on it..

I was just thinking about something. In the first volume, when Ai contacted Kamiki from the phone booth, Kamiki already knew about the existence of his children, right? It wasn't the first time he was hearing about them. The conversation went along the lines of, "Our kids are pretty big now, why don't you come see them?" This means that by the time the kids were around four years old, he was already aware of their existence, but hadn't met them yet.

And it seems he wasn't receiving Ai's address for the first time either. Ai mentioned, "Here's the 'new' address," implying that he knew the previous addresses and had been in contact with her. Judging by their conversation, it wasn't the first time they had communicated since they separated.

At the time of their separation, Ai said something like she wouldn't keep their children. But at some point, Kamiki must have found out about their existence. Either that, or it was Ai who's told him. Since Kamiki was near the hospital on the day of their children's birth, he must have known about the children at least from then. Ai might have told him, "I would like you to come," or he might have found out on his own. At the very least, from then on, he knew that their children were born, and she was raising them. Ai knew that Kamiki was aware of their existence on her end too. (Even in the main story, Ai contacted Kamiki in secret. If you look at that conversation, it's clear they hadn't completely cut ties.)

When did Kamiki and Ryosuke first meet? If their first encounter was near the hospital.. -I'm making a really tilted and quite a favorable assumption here- do you think kamiki would've known Ryosuke's true colors?; What if he really didn't know what kind of guy he was and was capable of doing and just thought of him as a fan of Ai's? I'm sorry, this doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? but just bear with me for awhile here. I don't really believe my line of thought here as well but I've just been trying to make sense of everything..

What if Kamiki called Ryosuke just to lament, drinking, after being heartbroken by Ai's refusal to get back together from her call? (There are bottles in a small cut showing them together.) Kamiki might have been saying something like, "I don't understand why we can't get back together, even though I'm being shown the children. I can really raise them well." If they exchanged contact information around the time the children were born, it means they've known each other for at least four years. If Kamiki was a person who could have harmed Ai out of resentment, there should have been a previous connection between these two guys, right? For they'd have met for that purpose.. However, at that time, Kamiki was just a middle schooler... How could someone in the age difference between a middle schooler and a university student pinpoint and meet like that? Did he find someone online who intended to harm the Ai and approach them?; Even if that's the case, it doesn't seem like the first time Ai's told Kamiki about the kids. If there were four years in between, there should have been a reason for not doing anything significant. Considering how easily Ai's shared the address without even the need to be inquired from him, it doesn't seem like Ai's intentionally hid it from Kamiki. If there was hatred from that time, the public phone conversation wouldn't be so casual. When Ai speaks, Kamiki is asking if they can get back together, and Ai refuses. This implies Kamiki still wanted to be together at that time. If Kamiki had been overly obsessed with her about this, Ai wouldn't have contacted him so comfortably, would she? Knowing the possible outcomes, why would Ai contact someone who's obsessively clingy and show them her beloved children?

The bouquet is the problem here, that bouquet appears everywhere in the scenes where kamiki's involved, he did send one to Akane too. But... Kamiki didn't really do anything to Akane directly, did he? Nothing bad's happened to her much except the time she almost fell off the stairs. Could it really just be that he sent it without any ill intentions? I mean, it was just before the dome concert...maybe he really did want to congratulate Ai about the dome; Maybe he sent the bouquet to Akane after seeing the broadcast that Akane and Aqua were dating, and because Akane's acting career was going well, he sent it with a feeling of "Take good care of my son." At least, there’s no evidence that Kamiki ever tried to harm his own children. On the contrary, he seems to be in a position of accepting it even if his children try to kill him (Mephisto's lyrics ARE SPOILERS, I'm telling you). If he was interested in his children, he would have watched Aqua's TV programs. Considering how well he understands Aqua, he must have been interested in various aspects.

Actually, the idea that he deliberately revealed Ai’s address to have Ryosuke kill her<—there are so many strange things about this if you examine it. It seems more like he carelessly let the address slip while drunk. If it’s true that he revealed the address, that is. When he was feeling down after being rejected, Ryosuke might have said he would go congratulate her on Kamiki's behalf, so Kamiki could have told him the address then (Yes, this speculation sounds stupid... I also think it’s unlikely...he can't be that dumb but). Even if they met for the first time at the hospital, they could have been friends for about four years and he might have been too drunk to judge the situation.

No matter what, he probably didn’t want to kill Ai. Considering the past, even if she broke up with him, Ai did a lot for Kamiki. She was not just an ex-lover, but also literally the light in his life. Even if she didn’t love him (which was his assumption, but that proved to be wrong too), he was aware that she accepted and cherished him, gave birth to and raised his children well. If he harmed her, what would happen to his children? He doesn’t seem that crazy at that point. And if he really wanted to harm her, there would be no reason to wait four years... If the reason he couldn’t find her was because he didn’t know the address, the fact that Ai just naturally reveals her address to him doesn't line up with it. If he felt betrayed and wanted to harm her, there would be no reason to wait so long and he would have continuously harassed and spied on her, but there was too long of a gap.

I think a lot will be revealed in the next chapter. Anyway, this part was confusing. I might be thinking excessively favorably because I don't understand the psychology of a crazy person, but Kamiki seems to really love Ai a lot? Even after so many years, he can't get over her and seems to be suffering from her death. He seems to know very well that Aqua would hate him about causing her death and thinks that he deserves it all. Does it make sense that he would think of scaring Ai by sending Ryosuke? It seems likely he leaked the address since Ryosuke did find her and he's like the only one that could have that information. But if kamiki really intended to scare her, it's unpredictable how sending this random other guy would turn out to end up like. Also, it's inconsistent for someone who claims to have a parent's heart towards his kids (I don't think this is a lie. There isn't a reason to lie about this) and loves Ai so much they'd talk about marriage with her to send someone else to scare her. It doesn’t add up. This seems more likely to have been an accident, but perhaps I'm like this because I want to take him positively. I just don't know.. but things don't really make sense for me regarding this incident.

Even if Ai's said they couldn't date again, she was allowing kamiki to see their children, it's not entirely a negative thing. I think kind of feeling this'd initiate'd be more about feeling heartbroken and sad (which is why he drank), rather than feeling angry and wanting to torment someone...yeah... That part was strange. It could use more elaboration. It should, too.

Anyway, if we assume that kamiki really didn’t intend any harm, he might be someone like Aqua in essence, being unable to forgive himself for providing a cause in the first place. He could be lying about the whole wanting to scare Ai and all thing thinking "It’s all my fault, I'm a bad person," because he doesn't want to live. This character doesn't really want to live in the first place. I think he rather wants himself to be hated.

Additionally, if I were the author, the upcoming chapters would likely be the fun parts that I’ve really wanted to write.

It would be the "Now I can tell!" parts. If what I think is correct, the entire idea we have had about Kamiki in the beginning could be totally flipped. That'd be so fun as the writer, seeing all the readers going "oh my gosh what the heck?? so this was how things were all along?" I'd do that, actually. Since he is the protagonist’s parent, he wouldn’t be a character that's written with hate.. The author has experience in writing romance, so I think he'd be capable of writings stuff like that, that'd be his forte. Depending on how the past is filled in, the explanation of his actions could be extremely varied.

Even as I write this, it seems unlikely. However, the circumstances presented in chapter 154 are not easy to accept based on Ai's previous actions and common sense.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Kiss Me, Maybe Book Review 🦇

❓ What's one word you would use to describe your first kiss? 🦇 Librarian Angela Gutierrez has never been kissed. But after posting a video about her late bloomer status and ace identity, she's finally ready to get some firsts out of the way. Using her new influencer status to come up with a scavenger hunt idea in which the winner earns her first kiss, Angela realizes she may need some help to pull off the event. Enter Krystal Ramirez, hot bartender and Angela’s unrequited crush of five years. There’s just one problem: the more they hang out, the more Angela isn’t sure she wants to go through with the scavenger hunt after all. Is Angela falling head over heels for a woman who may never love her back?

💜 This was a sweet sapphic romance with SO much representation and self-exploration. Let's break it down!

✨ Characters (3/5): Despite being in their late 20s (which is essential to Angela feeling like a late bloomer), the first-person narration and characterization felt immature. We're not shown many layers of either FMC, though what we are given is stressed constantly: Angela feels behind in life and wants to explore her ace-spec identity, while Krystal is holding guilt from a past relationship that's holding her back. I adored the use of art to show these opposite yet similar struggles (The Woman in Wanting / Waiting pieces are absolutely beautiful, and my fingers are crossed for some fan art). I'm glad Angela had the opportunity to explore her queerness, because it IS fluid and a constant exploration; a message that resonates throughout the book. The QPR representation is gorgeous, but not deeply discussed, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a character identify as bi-romantic demisexual (like me!). However, I would have loved to learn more about each character. There's a beautiful Latinx cast, but the representation is only surface-level. Beyond Angela's favorite drink and love for historical romances, we're not given much else.

✨ Plot and Pacing (3/5): The story is split in too many directions (the scavenger hunt, the social media mess, the family drama, Angela's self-exploration, the romance). The scavenger hunt is constantly, overly discussed, but feels more like a plot device until the very end. Angela constantly mentions wanting a meaningful kiss (the reason she gives for not kissing Krystal more than once), but obsessing over a scavenger hunt where the prize IS her first kiss negates that. Since half of the writing is tell-over-show (not only exposition, but loaded introspection), the pacing is slow. I'm not sure why the "dating the internet" line (which comes off as a teasing, backhanded comment) is so constantly obsessed over, either. A lot of Angela's self-exploration is tied to TikTok (it's the place she feels seen, where she feels capable of connecting with other queer and ace-spec people), to the validation she receives from her audience, but it's use as a plot device is exhaustive (and again, makes her seem younger than she is).

✨ World-Building (2/5): There's not much in terms of world-building or descriptions. I'm not sure how much is established in the previous book, but the story starts with Angela at work, with no mention where work IS until the second chapter.

✨ Romance (4/5): The initial will-they-won't-they, then friends-to-more romance between Angela and Krystal is swoon-worthy. Angela's attraction to Krystal is essential to her self-exploration, triggering thoughts and feelings (and, okay, a LOT of heat) she hasn't evaluated before. I adore Krystal's fierce protectiveness over Angela (there's a wound care scene!), as well as her encouragement for Angela to find herself HER way. Their romance is sweet, messy, full of angst, and the powerhouse behind the entire story. However, we stop feeling invested in the journey toward Angela's first kiss (and, with it, the scavenger hunt) as things heat up between them. Angela goes from zero experience to SO much all at once, which seems to conflict with the romance she's constantly asking for).

✨ Tone/Prose (2/5): I would expect a librarian FMC to have a stronger voice, but Angela's falls flat on the page.

🦇 Though the execution fumbles a little, we DO need more stories that highlight this beautiful exploration of queerness and self beyond labels. Recommended to fans of Love Points to You and Something Cheeky.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 💜 Ace-Spec FMC 💜 Bisexual Love Interest 💜 Sapphic 💜 Contemporary Romance 💜 Coming Out / Exploring Identity 💜 Part of a Series 💜 Slow Burn Friends to Lovers 💜 1st Person POV 💜 Smut 💜 Latinx

🦇 Major thanks to the author and publisher for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #KissMeMaybe

💬 Quotes After so many years of fighting this feeling I didn’t have a name for inside of me, of questioning myself the same way other people who claimed to care about me did, of not belonging anywhere...I had an answer.

“When it comes to experiencing romance, sex, or even your first real relationship, there isn’t a right or wrong timeline to follow."

"She’s raging into love the way soldiers rage into war. Love is an act of bravery to this woman. It doesn’t make her weak or vulnerable. It makes her powerful. She’s offering up her heart like it’s a challenge to be conquered.”

Labels aren’t one-size-fits-all. Identities can be fluid— something that fit you five years ago might not necessarily fit you now, and that’s okay.

[chevelleneech]

https://www.tumblr.com/chevelleneech/774880469445640192/httpsxcomjikookaahhhhstatus18874814444290703?source=share

Hmm that's right because no theories makes sense to me because some jkkrs would say he goes live when jm travels because he misses jm, don't get me wrong on this one but even IF jm was there they weren't really hanging out that much either i mean jm was busy we all know so what difference would it make for jk to go live if jm in in country or if jm isn't in country. that makes no sense to me. The "They're trying to hint" things again don't make sense to me because why would they try to "hint" us about anything as if we're part of their rs? We certainly are not. It's not some big important thing in their life about which they have to "hint" fans it's just jm leaving country.

BUT at the same time it's interesting how jk has gone live every single time jm isn't in the country. Jm has travelled before jk started going live too for once or twice maybe. But since the time he started going live in the start of 2023 he's always gone live after every travelling abroad jm had done. Without missing a single time. The last live in that video is actually jk's shortest live, you wouldn't expect him to go live even but man went live from the practice room even if it's just for a few mins lol.

So although i don't believe in any theory and think it's mere coincidence, I'm just fascinated with the coincidence.

The only reason I don’t think it’s a coincidence, is because it’s happened too many times. That many coincidences doesn’t make sense when we also know the guys are very much as online as most people their age, so surely he knew people were talking about the pattern at some point.

But that’s as far as my thoughts go, because again, coincidence seems too “writing it off”, but deliberate equally seems too methodical. We’re not part of their relationship, as you said, and I don’t think they’re overly invested in making sure we knew they were not together at those specific moments.

To be honest, I think it all boils down to people needing to shift their way of thinking when it comes to what they think has gone on between Jimin and JK, particularly the amount of contact they had during their solo promotions, since we’ve now all seen AYS.

Prior to NY they obviously had something going on, but we saw during the trip they clearly worked it out off camera and were happy to be together again. Then by Jeju we know they were in a place where they were settled and prepared to enlist together and were looking forward to this shared experience. Excited about the enlistment itself? No, but they spoke on doing it together with relatively positive tones, so at the very least we can assume they felt it was a positive point of this situation they were being forced into. Because of those things, I don’t think we can continue to say they weren’t hanging out much when they were both in SK at the same time, because that simply doesn’t make sense. I don’t think either one of them has it in them to be that methodically two-faced. I think what happened was exactly what most of us assume, when we say they have genuine private lives and the camera doesn’t showcase everything they go through.

We more or less know they weren’t as attached at the hip as they were during group work, because it showed and they said as much. However, we have zero knowledge on what changed that or when. We can assume it was at some point during their NY trip, but it’s not shown in the show. We don’t see them have any specific or deep conversations that speak to what went on and why (which is fine, we don’t need to) yet by the end of the trip we know they’re locked in again. By the next trip we know they’re so back to their attached at the hip life that they applied to enlist together, got it, and were looking forward to said joint experience. And by the final trip in the show, still while not at all being shown any conversations about their actual, personal, off camera relationship, we know they’re in sort of a warm place, emotionally. They’re nostalgic for the trip before it even ends, and talk about how happy they are the entire time.

So I think regardless of the actual reasons JK went live at the same times Jimin just so happened to be out of town, the truth with never be revealed and dwelling on it won’t give anyone an actual answer. What I think matters most, is accepting the fact that something happened, yet it was resolved around the time they were in New York, and they are now presumably happy again. My theory has been and continues to be: Jimin put some distance between them, JK wasn’t happy about it, JK got petty when Jimin started reaching out again, Jimin pushed for the initial trip, they worked things out.

The actual details? No clue. I have zero theories on what the details could be, because they are genuinely private people and didn’t really let anything slip on camera nor off. And yes, I have opinions on the assumed JK/random woman in his apartment video, but that also requires assuming other details about his relationship with Jimin that simply do not work in an unbiased way. So in order to be as unbiased as I can be, I have to stick to what we know for sure, which is what they showed. And what they showed was:

Them both saying they weren’t communicating the best, JK repeatedly going live and practically begging Jimin to go live or meet-up with him, Jimin saying he pushed for the show to happen all the while being uncertain it was a good idea to push for it, JK saying “finally” to Jimin meeting up with him, them both saying they want to keep traveling together, then them ultimately deciding to spend their entire enlistment together.

Meaning, ultimately, their own actions and words show conflict and resolution. What the details were? We don’t know and don’t have to know, which is why I don’t think its worth much to figure out why JK’s lives happened they way they did. Trying to figure it out won’t offer any insight into his psyche, so what exactly could anyone be looking for? This was a long response (first in a while), but I think people should just be happy that objectively, we can see they are in a much more comfortable and happy place with one another, and have been for over a year now, compared to when the lives were happening.