#this is just for me and the few people who are interested in these two idiots /affectionate

[lilo-snm]

🍄- “The Autumn System” was Equinox’s idea from back when he was still around. It was mainly based off of the overall color scheme of everyone we knew in headspace at that time, plus the body’s favorite season.

👾- “CHEESE KNIFE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” -Gary, who then proceeds to yeet a butter knife with cheese on it into front in the innerworld

🎉- Don’t have any in-system holidays, but we really enjoy Halloween. Some of our peeps like to help make costumes for the littles so that they can dress up as whatever they want heh

🌙- We do have a handful of subsystems

☕️- It depends. Sometimes it’ll be like a slow gradient of one person into the other, other times it happens in a blink. And then sometimes, it takes several minutes of staring into the fucking abyss waiting for our brain to stop buffering worse than an old Windows desktop with 30 tabs open and reloading-

💫- Most of us all enjoy art or music to any extent; whether that be taking in either of them or producing either.

💾- Upwards of 170 at this rate.

👻- They do. A handful have accents, and then some have different speaking patterns. We all have pretty distinct voices though. Some sound similar to one another though, generally because they took on aspects of the body’s voice.

🎨- Abbbbsolutely yes. It’s incredibly inconsistent, but we do have several peeps in here that enjoy it.

🥀- Decently easily. It’s slowed a bit recently, but we do tend to split easily in response to stress.

🦖- Incredibly fictive-heavy.

🎵- Uhhhh a couple do, come to think of it. Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold, and then Time Passing Through by Kaden Mackay are the most prominent two though.

❓- A decent amount. It ranges from partial, to emotional, to total, and with no indication as to what it’s gonna be until we find that we can’t remember something clearly when we need to.

🎮- Varies depending on who’s doing stuff, and whether it’s in innerworld or externally. People have managed to set up an entire-ass paintball arena in-headspace though; they host matches whenever enough people want to play.

🪐- It’s nice. The areas are easily-enough navigatable. It’s sometimes difficult to get information from one point of headspace to the other, but it’s nice. It’s not overwhelming by itself, and it never feels empty.

🍐- Yes(written by someone who is in fact a non-human alter themselves lol)

🪫- Either spend time with people we’re close with, or hole up and sleep for as long as we can within ability or reason. .. Or, yknow, some of us have interests that they enjoy that aren’t draining, and then they do that-

🌧️- Varies. We’re still getting better at finding coping mechanisms that don’t result in ‘pk;m new’

🔦- Started out with a newer alter starting to chime in with his frustrations on things that were happening in life, paired with another who just wanted to get through the situations without strife or having anyone hurt in any way. … Yeahhh, that caused some inner warring of opinion, which raised several questions for the host at the time haha—

🌟- Yep! Aster’s really good at essays, and Kris is good at just scribbling down notes—which we have a tendency to overthink doing since half of us try to factor in whether or not anyone else insys will be able to understand the notes. Kris just.. does not care phf

🌊- Sort of shifts around in groups! Currently it’s me, the Yaelokre peeps we have, and then Vesper and a few others from CoD.

🎁- Me personally, no, but Val and Graves stumbled across a dog shirt in the store one day and decided that Alex would freaking love it(he did. He adopted it into headspace the same day they showed it to him)

☘️- Usually any current interest that we’re having.

💬- Recently found out there’s another void UNDERNEATH the main void level in headspace. It has henceforth been dubbed “the basement”

-Ceres 4.11.2024

system ask meme

🍄 - how did you get your system name?

👾 - funniest out of context system quote?

🎉 - favorite system holiday?

🌙 - do you have subsystems?

☕ - what is switching like for you?

💫 - are there any hobbies you all have?

💾 - what's your headcount?

👻 - do your alters/headmates have different voices or speech patterns?

🎨 - does anyone in your system like art?

🥀 - how easily does the system split?

🦖 - is your system fictive-heavy? factive-heavy? neutral?

🎵 - what songs remind you of your alters/headmates?

❓ - how much amnesia do you experience?

🎮 - what do your alters/headmates do in their free time?

🪐 - what is headspace like for you?

🍐 - are there any non-human alters/headmates?

🪫 - what do you all do to recharge?

🌧️ - how does the system cope with stress?

🔦 - how did you discover your system?

🌟 - do any alters help out with school/work?

🌊 - who are your frequent fronters?

🎁 - have you ever bought your alters/headmates things?

☘️ - what are your introjects/fictives usually sourced from?

💬 - free space!! tell me about something!

[matthewswifeyx]

Favourite <3

Warnings?-swearing, arguing, fluff, anxiety

Requested?- yes!!! Here <3

Summary- Y/N meets Matt's brothers for the first time and they fight over who she likes more

Me and Matt had been dating for around 3 weeks, and ever since we got together he had been dying for me to meet his brothers. I had been putting it off for a while, I just didn't want to do something wrong or didn't want to face them not liking me. But after a while Matt had persuaded me to finally meet his triplet brothers.

Matt had come to my apartment to pick me up and we were in the car driving back to his house that he shared with his brothers. I was so nervous. Matt's hand was stuck to my thigh as some sort of quiet comfort. I started doing some breathing exercises to calm my nerves. In and out, in and out. Matt's ears pricked up to my morse code. He turned his head to look in my direction, his eyes flickered back to the road frequently.

"Y/N, babe, you don't have to be so nervous." Matt chuckled.

"I just want to make a good impression that's all." I looked at him and smiled.

"You know what all of these nerves mean?" matt speaks up. I shrug my shoulders. "It means you care baby. And that means the world to me."

Matt's small pep talk had actually made me feel a bit better. The bundle of nerves were still lingering but they weren't as intense anymore. I closed my eyes and tried to relax for the rest of the journey.

I felt the car come to a halt and Matt softly tapped my thigh to indicate that we had arrived. Matt held the car door open for me and guided me to their front door. Matt unlocked the door and held it open for me to enter first. I kicked my shoes off and put them to the side.

"Were here!" Matt called out. I heard a few shouted whispers from up the stairs. Matt placed his hand on my lower back and we started walking up the stairs. I was greeted with two smiling, similar faced people.

"Hi! I'm Nick. You must be the famous Y/N Matt has been running our ears off about?"

"Yeah that's me. It's nice to finally meet you!" I answered. I looked over at the other person, his gaze lingered at the floor. "You must be Chris?" I I broke the silence. He lifted his head and locked eyes with mine.

"Oh yeah, that's me!" He smiled.

"Should we move this conversation to the living room? Because if I stand on these stairs for any longer I might fall down." matt announced. I laughed quietly.

"Oh-shit, forgot about you there Matt." Chris joked.

Matt still had his hand placed on my back, he tapped softly and I moved up the stairs into the living room.

"Haha asshole." Matt said sarcastically.

We settled nicely on the couch, the room was filled with chatter and chuckles. I was talking about my home life, family, my hobbies my childhood. They all listened so well, I had never felt so heard before. They were extremely patient with me while i would tell stories. I felt appreciated. We moved from topic to topic. We had found ourselves where Nick and Chris were telling stories of Matt when he was younger. I would chuckle quietly to their storytelling skills. matt tried to keep a straight face while they would be talking but he would accidentally let a few laughs escape.

The whole time we were talking Matt would have his arm around my shoulders or his hands slipping onto the dips of my hips. He had never been this touchy before. I liked this side of him. Who knew that he would become a new type of protective?

We had found ourselves on a topic of whether i liked Chris or Nick better. The truth was that I didn't prefer one to the other, they were both interesting in their own ways. I could never choose.

"Dude she obviously likes me better, she has laughed at every joke I have made so far!" Chris argued.

"That doesn't mean she likes you better. At least I have my own personality, and I don't steal it off my brother." Nick spit back.

I was laughing with Matt while the whole situation unfolded. I looked over at Matt and he was already staring at me. Chris and Nick's argument was still going on in the background.

"I knew they would argue." Matt announced quietly. I just shook my head and laughed.

Both Nick and Chris turned their heads towards me.

"Y/N, who do you like better?" Chris asked.

"I can't choose. i don't prefer one of you to the other. Your both just so different." I answered.

"Guys what she actually means is that she likes me better than both of you guys. I just am at the top of every category, so that means you two are just equals." Matt joked.

"Ooohh, boyfriend Matt has spoken." Nick joked.

Chris and Nick still bickered in the background, I looked over at Matt once more. He seemed proud of himself. He place his hand on my neck and pulled me in to a kiss softly. He will always be my favourite.

Banner credits to @bernardsbendystraws <3

Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed this fanfic! If you have any suggestions/requests, please do not hesitate to send me a message and i will try and get back to you asap! <3

[eldritch-spouse]

That is a very generous offer Jonesy but I don't want to live on an island. I'm happy enough here. Now if you'll excuse me I need to-ah! Jonesy. Please let me go.

[Ambiguous reader]

TW: Kidnapping

" Why... Whatever do you mean? "

The throne looks entirely perplexed, as if nothing in this world could have prepared him for a rejection that, from your point of view, is anything but surprising.

All of your interactions thus far with this 'celestial' have been nothing if not positive. Jonesy, as he calls himself, is a positive force in your life. You're one of many 'lessers' who this Mother Miara entity he speaks so fondly of has selected to be judged for a certain period of time. Initially, the fear of what this might entail kept you defensive, but Jonesy's 'judging' honestly seems to consist in him inviting himself into your daily routines and generally being helpful.

Convenient enough that you decided to go along with it.

Maybe that's being a little harsh, you did grow to enjoy Jonesy's company, a little bit. He's pleasant enough, polite, seeming to have your best interests in mind, even if he doesn't understand that he no longer has the level of authority angels might have once had over humanity. And, most of all, he always brings small trinkets when he visits. Sometimes it's a new decoration for your home, other times it's some thingamajig he doesn't fully understand and wants you to explain to him under the guise of a simple present. Two of his gifts stand out to you.

Jonesy once gave you someone's personal phone. It was still locked and entirely undamaged, he likely picked it up somewhere. Lessers like theses things, he had proudly said, I found another one for you. He looked offended when you suggested he deliver it to a police station, so you dropped the subject and quietly took care of it yourself. Another time, the throne showed up with a gorgeous, reflective feather. He sounded a bit vague when you prodded for its meaning, but it looks harmless enough. You've decided to put it in a little case, to which Jonesy recommended that you sometimes take it outside with you.

You were never overly touchy with the angel, didn't think you should be. Jonesy is easy on the eyes, in his own bizarre sort of way, but he exudes authority in equal amounts to safety and comfort, so it felt inappropriate to simply take that step. Nevertheless, impulse once made you comment about the quality of his fur, the few times he'd wear something a little more 'casual', and Jonesy said nothing for a few moments, before placing your hand on his chest and letting you feel the expanse of softness there. You had never experienced something like it before, your fingers sunk into it yet it felt so incredibly light, so cozy, as if you could just lay your head upon it and have the best rest of your entire life. Neither of you said much of anything to each other for the rest of that particular visit.

He appears to like animals too, which is something you find very appealing in people. A few times now, he had this super beautiful cat -It was very large, some kind of maine coon?- With fur as white as his own and these wide eyes that seemed just a little too involved in anything around itself. Jonesy carried it with the utmost care and would regularly talk to it, calling it 'lady'. It made you smile, though he would always hand the feline to another celestial before properly greeting you, removing any chance to interact with it.

He's definitely weird.

But, perhaps, you could call Jonesy a friend in your little life.

Being friends with him doesn't mean you're about to abandon everything you've built and those you love just to join an island far away and be in some sort of paradise cult. Even if he's right about it being the best decision you could ever make, even if you'd live your best life there and be incredibly fulfilled, without having to bare the weight of your society's expectations on your shoulder- It's just not your home. It's not where you think you belong, and it certainly doesn't justify leaving your family and friends behind.

" I mean exactly what I said, Jonesy. " You shrug, finishing the basic omelet you were trying to make when he nearly pounded through your door in his excitement to see you.

You suppose these 'wonderful news' are why he didn't waste a second before dropping that bomb of a proposal on you.

" Dove, are you listening? Mother Miara herself has judged your profile and deemed you worthy of joining us in the most sacred location of Earth! "

You really just want to eat and end this conversation. " Jone- "

" Do you not wish to be welcomed into Lady Miara's arms? She will make you the best version of yourself, you will never know misery, you'll be surrounded by prosperity and harmony. I would help guide you- "

" No! " You interrupt, a lot more forcefully. " No, I don't want to go to some remote location and abandon everything I know, excuse me if that sounds crazy to you. I have people here who need me, okay? I have a community I belong to, I like having my own place with all the stuff I own. I like going to places you won't find on an island, Jonesy. I'm not going anywhere. "

He's motionless after your outburst, maybe in shock, maybe trying to make sense of your reasoning. You decide to soften the blow.

" Listen, I'm very flattered. It sounds like a great deal that I know many people would take. And good for them! I'm not one of those people, I'm sorry man. "

The kitchen suddenly seems too small and crowded. After a very tense silent that absolutely rips the hunger out of you, he finally speaks.

" You poor thing. " The throne murmurs, making you rise a brow. " You don't think you're good enough. You feel that you must be tied down to this frivolous nonsense in order to have meaning in your life. You could never be more wrong. "

Frustration bubbles by now. " Jonesy, can we not have this conversation right now? "

" It's quite alright, I see now. You'll need a lot of help to overcome your mind's delusions. Fret not, I'll take it upon myself to clear them. "

The celestial advances as he speaks, resolve radiating off of him. You barely get to turn away before he bodily picks you up. With little effort, as if you weighed less than the very trinkets he'll occasionally bring around.

Angels... Angels don't hurt humans unless they have to, right? It's not in them to be malicious... Right? Jonesy wouldn't hurt you.

He won't.

You hope he won't.

" Wh- What are you doing?! Put me down, please. " He doesn't. In fact, he walks outside. " Please put me down. "

" Silence lesser, be graceful about this blessing. "

You can't see them, but you can hear another celestial waiting for Jonesy, making a noise of confusion.

" Are they wounded? " The new one questions.

" No, just blinded of reason I believe. "

The nerve.

" Unfortunate. "

You're handed off rather easily to a larger set of hands, unable to see the face of this stranger before they run a hand through your face and the ability to see is quite literally taken from you. It's enough to make you freeze.

" Quite. I know they'll find a better home with us however. "

You dare not move when they take flight, knowing it'd be certain death to squirm mid-air, blinded, and horrified.

[wisteria-lodge]

I think that the closest thing Dumbledore *actually* has to a friend in the main timeline of the books is Mad-Eye Moody. Like he's one of the few people who interacts with Dumbledore as an *equal,* and who Dumbledore also seems to actually respect. Moody doesn't work for him, is completely formidable in his own right, frames taking the DADA job as a "special favor" he's doing Albus (for one year only.) Also, in the Pensieve we get this interesting little exchange during Karkaroff's trial:

“Crouch is going to let him out,” Moody breathed quietly to Dumbledore. “He’s done a deal with him. Took me six months to track him down, and Crouch is going to let him go if he’s got enough new names. Let’s hear his information, I say, and throw him straight back to the dementors.” Dumbledore made a small noise of dissent through his long, crooked nose. “Ah, I was forgetting . . . you don’t like the dementors, do you, Albus?” said Moody with a sardonic smile.

Like... Moody is comfortable with Dumbledore here, in a way that we basically never see. He's even teasing Albus a little, giving him a bit of a hard time about his anti-Dementor stance. The two of them are sitting next to each other, and heckling the proceedings. Moody isn't scared of Dumbledore, and Dumbledore can't pull rank on him the way we absolutely see him do with McGonagall and Snape. And Elphias Doge... just worships him, and in Rita's honestly very accurate masterpiece she calls him Dumbledore's "sidekick." Flamel *might* have been his friend... but he definitely started out as more of a mentor/colleague, and he dies at the end of the first book anyway. And Grindelwald is his own thing.

Even so, there's no way Dumbledore and Moody are *close* friends, or Albus would have cottoned on to Barty-the-Impersonator. I will say though, that the bit where he rescues Moody from the trunk is probably the angriest and scariest we ever see Dumbledore. Partially he's angry at himself of course, and at Barty junior, but I also think there's part of him that is specifically angry on behalf of *Moody* in that moment. (Also I know it's a decently common headcanon that Dumbledore made Moody's eye for him, and that's why it can see through the Cloak.)

I will never be over Dumbledore talking about how Tom Riddle has never had nor wanted a friend and using that as evidence of him being Born Evil TM. And I'm just sitting here laughing like 'dude. where are your friends???"

[actuallysaiyan]

The RainIII(All Might/Toshinori Yagi x Fem!Hero!Reader)

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, daddy kink, size kink, Toshinori in his All Might form, Reader is given a hero name(feel free to ignore if you don't want to imagine yourself as this hero), Reader is All Might's former mentee, established relationship, vaginal fingering, quickies, semi-public sex

word count: 1.8k

pairings: All Might/Toshinori Yagi x Fem!Hero!Reader

summary: you see him at an award ceremony and you both try your best to keep your feelings under wraps. you and him have a very risky quickie.

a/n: Read part one and part two to understand the plot!

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist:  @thissaintjessi.  @cherryblossombankai , @thestarsystemsworld, @pixelcafe-network

The way he looks at you, you swear you’re about to combust. He rarely gives you this kind of look when you’re in public. Especially not while he’s out accepting an award. You look at him with a similar look. It’s the kind of look that says, “I’m going to fuck your brains out when we get home." The only issue is that the public doesn’t know that you two are together yet.

He’s so graceful with everything too. You’ve long admired this man for ages. He was your mentor; he helped you become the hero you are today. How many of these people know of his sacrifices to keep them safe? Do they know about his injury that has left him incapable of keeping his form for very long?

Or are your eyes the only ones who get to see the beautiful Toshinori Yagi in the way he’s meant to be looked at?

“I couldn’t have gotten this far without my supporters, fans, and of course, my wonderful colleagues! I am your Symbol of Peace, but please trust me when I say that a hero is nothing without his fellow heroes.”

The crowd erupts in cheers. You smile as you look at him from your spot on the side of the stage. Your hero costume feels heavy on your body. Toshinori seems to be really enjoying seeing you in it. It’s been a while since he’s seen you up close in your hero costume. And he just keeps giving you that look, in such a sly way too.

He answers a few questions, and your heart races in your chest when he’s asked about his love life. He doesn’t dare look at you this time. You had both decided to wait to make this official in the public eye. He just laughs heartily as always.

“There may be someone in my life who I’ve always admired, but I can’t give any more details than that.”

The crowd begins speculating. You love the way they eat up every single word he says. You watch as a few other heroes step up to the podium to answer some questions as well. As per usual, you do not miss the way Endeavor glares at your lover. 

Trying to sneak off backstage, you’re stopped by Mt. Lady. She smirks at you, clearly wanting to share some juicy gossip with you. You follow her towards the small sitting area rustled up for heroes who weren’t going to be interviewed during this award ceremony.

“Did you hear that?! All Might has a lover!” She says, her eyes wide.

You laugh, “I sure did. I wonder though... someone he’s admired for a long time...”

She begins talking your ear off, trying to think of the right person that fits the bill. You wish you could tell her the truth, but you promised you wouldn’t say anything to any of your colleagues. It would be something you both do together as a couple.

“I mean, I think he had something with Sir Nighteye.” This makes you laugh.

“Oh definitely,” you nod your head. “Those two were as thick as thieves. They were probably in a secret relationship.”

This was something you had been thinking about lately. Who were the people that Toshinori had dated before you? You weren’t jealous. In fact, you were more than curious. You tried to pry the information out of your lover, but you never had a good chance to do so.

“A secret relationship? That sounds like All Might.” Yu chatted with you. She seemed to be even more interested in the subject than you previously thought.

“Of course. It’s totally him. That man keeps everything private.”

Then she turns to look at you, and she notices the way you’re smirking. "Hey, he did give you quite the look during his speech.”

Your heart drops, and you try to laugh it off. She smirks, but her attention is thankfully taken off of you when Shinji Nishiya walks into the backstage area. You knew those two had a decently close relationship when Mt. Lady ruined Kamui Woods debut as a hero.

“Hey Shinji! Do you think All Might is in a secret relationship? We think he was together with Sir Nighteye…”

The two of them gossip while you watch the line of pro heroes coming to the backstage area. You’re waiting for him, of course. He’d probably be one of the last ones to enter the backstage area. You try not to make it obvious that you are indeed waiting for All Might considering you think Mt. Lady might think you two are seeing each other.

He enters the area, giving you a ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ type of look. You try to busy yourself with talking to the other pro heroes, but you desperately want to go home with the man of the hour. This is when you catch the angry look of Enji Todoroki, and you’re so quick to avert your gaze.

The rain begins to fall on the tent you’re all sitting in. It was supposed to be an award ceremony and a glorified mingling session for the pro heroes, but with the rain coming down, people were starting to want to head to dryer places to be able to mingle. You try to keep an eye on your lover while still trying to maintain a comfortable distance.

“Say,” Yu leans in to talk to you once more. “Want to come to the restaurant with a few of us?”

You shrug, “Yeah! Sounds like fun. Wanna give me some time to get into something more suited for the restaurant?”

“Sure thing! Let’s meet outside of the restaurant in an hour.”

You agree on the time and place, then you’re making your way out of the tent. After a few minutes, you feel someone following you. When you peek behind yourself and see your lover, your heart begins racing. He winks at you and nods. You know better than to immediately go to him while the press is still around.

This ends up with the two of you finding shelter in a makeshift tent nearby for the camera and electrical equipment. You’re both a little damp from the rainfall. It only made things between you both even hotter.

Toshinori looks at you like he wants to devour you. He knows he’ll have more time to take you later, but right now he needs something quick. The man growls as he picks you up and begins kissing you hungrily. His tongue penetrates your mouth, wrestling and tangling with yours.

You hold onto him, loving the way the spandex of his suit was clinging to his muscles right now. The rain had only done you favors, really. Toshinori smirks when he pulls away from the kiss.

“We gotta make this quick,” you whine. “I have to be at the restaurant in different attire in less than an hour.”

“You too, huh?” He laughs softly.

It takes very little for him to undo your hero costume, stripping it off your body. You were well aware that anyone could catch you two, but you didn’t care. Even if this was how you two would show the world you were together, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was feeling him fill you up.

“I need to prepare you,” he grunts in your ear. He sucks on two of his fingers, then he eagerly uses them to stretch open your little hole.

Your breathing became uneven, and you had to lean on him because you absolutely didn’t trust your legs right now. Toshi takes little time to begin fucking you with his thick fingers. You were pretty used to him being in his true form, so for you to feel this stretch was quite a nice change of pace as well.

“Poor little girl,” he smirks as he watches you rely on him to keep you upright. “You’ve been missing daddy’s cock.”

You can’t even argue with this. He’s been quite busy lately, so it’s been a while since either of you could have some alone time. You missed the way he stimulated you, and you definitely were missing the sex and intimacy.

Toshi pumps his fingers deeper and harder in your pussy until you’re dripping all over his hand. He pulls it from you, making you whine at the loss of contact. It’s quickly replaced with a muffled moan as he spears you onto his length. You barely realized when he undressed himself.

“Gotta be quiet, baby.” He moans in your ear as he begins to pick up his pace. “We don’t wanna be caught like this.”

You lean against him, nuzzling against his muscular chest and biting down whenever the pleasure gets too good. He’s hitting spots deep inside of you that have you seeing stars. Toshinori laughs softly at the way you’re just a moaning mess now. 

“Look at you,” he coos. “Already this fucked out on daddy’s cock, huh? What a good girl.”

You nod eagerly, biting down on his chest once more when he slams you down on him. He continues to fuck you like this, making the pleasure bubble deep inside of you. The knot in your tummy was about to unravel, especially if he was going to continue slamming right up against that sweet spot. You try to tell him you're close, but you can barely get the words out.

"T-Toshi,” you whine. “C-cumming.”

He laughs once more, loving the way he can just reduce you to this fucked out little lover. It boosts his ego when he knows he’s the one that can make you feel this way. You, this up-and-coming hero who’s got her career ahead of her and him, this washed out beloved older hero... it’s just the match made in heaven.

Your walls begin pulsating around him as you bite down hard on his pec. You’re going to leave a mark, that was for sure. When you manage to catch your breath after such an intense orgasm, you rest your head on his chest and look up at him with all the love in your eyes.

“Oh fuck,” he grunts. “When you look at me like that, princess, you make it hard for me to last much longer.”

You don’t stop giving him that lovesick look. Toshinori grits his teeth as he begins to pump you full of his thick seed. Slowly, he lowers you down on your shaky legs after he manages to come down from his high. He helps you back into your hero costume, smirking when he thinks about how his seed is going to be dripping from your abused cunt.

Then, with a long and passionate kiss, Toshinori guides you out of the tent. He winks at you before you two part ways.

“See you at the restaurant, Powerhouse.”

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[the-midnight-blooms]

ꜱʜᴀᴍᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ

PROLOGUE

pairing: ghostface!song mingi x reader (ft. ghostface!jeong yunho)

AU: modern au

word count: 3.2k

masterlist

warnings: yandere themes, stalking

A/N: I've never actually watched Scream but I love the concept, so general ideas revolving around the character will be used here (i also saw yungi!ghostface fanart, which i am OBSSESSED with).

A chat room is an online platform that enables users to communicate with each other in real time. Chat rooms are typically hosted on a server with an internet connection, enabling members from around the world to hold conversations about various topics.

Upbeat 80s rock music reverberates of the four walls of her room, the pen nib scratches, furiously, across the thin lined paper as her mind spills the plethora of knowledge that's locked up within it. Dropping the pen to the side, a long groan escapes her lips in tiredness the bright light of the computer screen gnawing at her attention. As she flicks between the several open tabs on her web browser, loitering in the far corner is an underground chat room for ‘conventional losers’, i.e. nerds, geeks, freaks, goths and emos and every other ostracised sub-cultural group you could think of. The thought itself was quite fascinating to her, which one was she? Or rather, was she the pretentious introvert who thought herself higher than those who defied society's conventional train of thought and aligned herself with the populars?

Snapping her book shut, she closed several of the academic pages she had open; leaving her with the final one: the infamous chat room. She’d already logged in, curiosity masticating her rationality and browsed a few pages, sent a few quick messages to people the website had recommended based on her “favourite topics”.

Her eyes glance carefully across the blaring screen, the blue light penetrating into her steady gaze as she reads the username that steals her undivided attention.

@ pyscho.killer

A snicker escapes her lips, she surfs their profile finding very little information about them, other than ‘Fix on’. Goodness, is she really going to talk to this person just because he too enjoys listening to Modern Talking? Her lips purse in contemplation as she clicks on ‘Message’, there’s no harm in conversing with someone you don’t know. Right?

modern-division: Fan of the Talking Heads much?

She prides herself on her nonchalance, if he wasn't to respond she really wouldn't care. After all, Yeji had invited her to join a number of societies at university and despite the fact that none of the them seemed particularly interesting to her; there was no harm in joining at least one or two if the outcome was a few friends to make her strenuous four years more bearable.

Ping. Her head snaps back to computer screen as she shoves all of her pens back into the pencil case; a dirty habit from childhood to spread all of her things across the table and then spend five minutes, impartially, cleaning everything up.

psycho.killer: Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?

modern-division: Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better

psycho.killer: Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away,

psycho.killer: I think I have met my match. To whom do I now call mine?

A childish giggle escapes her, she leans back in her seat in a knowingness that she may now actually enjoy being on this sketchy platform. Careful, yet. She doesn't actually know this stranger.

modern-division: AHAHA you’re funny, Mr Fix On (what does that even mean?)

psycho.killer: that’s not for you to know, darling.

psycho.killer: let me guess…you like joy division and modern talking?

modern-division: what gave it away?

psycho.killer: I guess you’re pretty funny too

It's quite absurd to believe that a famous hit song by the 'Talking Heads' is what got her, her new best internet friend yet the notion is very much a fact. So much so, her life is now consumed by the chat rooms she used to look down on. Social media is very much a vortex, or vacuum of some kind, sucking one in; leaving them void of humanity, stripping them down of some yearning for human interaction. Or at least that's what it did to most. After a long day of lectures, she found herself wanting to be able to see 'Mr Fix On' in person, talk to him in person, be able to stare into his eyes.

Speaking of. As a matter of fact, she didn't even know what he looked like. Just that he was South Korean, had short black hair and brown eyes. She too allowed herself to share the same amount of information that he provided. Mum did say not to go around talking to strangers, and even if she was doing just that; she was not dim enough to start revealing absolutely everything about her identity.

The autumn leaves sway softly with the gentle breeze, a waft of biting air floods over her sending a ripple of goosebumps over her supple skin. Her shoes crunch the delicate leaves, that pave the way to her home, yet she feels a daunting figure stalk after her. For a split second, she believes herself to be hallucinating as she takes a daring look behind her shoulder to find the street behind her, empty.

A tall figure strolls after her, picturing landmarks that carves the path to her home. His soft dark brown hair tousles with the wind, the cold forging a pink blush over his cheeks; sinking his long nose into the woollen scarf his movements come to an abrupt halt as his heroine plunges her eyes into his.

God, she's fucking pretty.

They move over his, hastily, as to her he's simply rifling through his bag for a wallet in line for an expensive coffee alongside a couple of old-age pensioners.

Conclusion: She is paranoid, there is no one after her. Yet as it is autumn in her unsafe town, its better to be cautious than to walk across the surface of the earth with no walls at all.

psycho.killer: wanna join a gc with my friend? he likes some of the same music as us.

psycho.killer: plus, he's a compsci loser who needs a friend

It's been at least a month since she had began talking to 'psycho.killer', who she had learnt his name is: Mings. Or rather its a shorthand version of his forename that he is weirdly reluctant to disclose, as he insists on her calling him 'Min' or "darling, my lover, husband- whatever floats your boat." He is truly charismatic, his charms are perceived from the other end of the screen. She wonders what it would be like to see him in real life. Is he truly as amiable as he reads?

modern-division: haha, i don't mind. what's his @ ?

psycho.killer: its @ killed.theradio.st4r

modern-division: you guys are my people

She hums the tune to 'Video Killed the Radio Star." Her mother's soft laughter pervades her way into her room; the older woman places her washed clothes on the Chester drawer wondering how the younger generation manage to get invested in the songs of the past.

[psycho.killer added you to 'two losers and a hot nerd']

killed.theradio.st4r: helloo, i'm yuyu :)

modern-division: hi!

modern-division: also, who's the hot nerd?

psycho.killer: me.

killed.theradio.st4r: lmao. its you, doll.

Does Mings just refer to me as, Doll to everyone he speaks to?

modern-division: you don't even know what i look like

killed.theradio.st4r: guess we just know you're a hot girl by intuition

modern-division: what if i'm a man? ever thought about that?

psycho.killer: your bio literally states that you're a girl

psycho.killer: not-so-mysterious babe

It wasn’t so bad for someone online to know your gender, it was just ensuring that your femininity wasn’t exploited. She knew they would never ask her to share explicit content nor would they force her to engage in it, though talking to the pair of ‘Killers’ preserved an ominous feeling in the airs. She couldn’t tell if at any point, she really felt comfortable talking to either of the two.

To begin with, Min was always trying to call her. Ask her where she was, what she was doing, if she had she eaten, what time she was going to bed. He asked about her day, and if anyone bothered her in particular. To any other he may have seemed like a kind-hearted boyfriend yet to her it felt like an intruder had permeated into the walls of her bedroom and dominated her life. Then you had his esteemed friend, Yun. He was always deeming her the most beautiful being he had ever seen. She could see within his words the robust desire he had manifested from her words, the way he had subtly requested for her photos in order to fuel the raging fires burning in her absence.

He wanted her. Physically, to put it lightly. Indeed, she was a doll to him and to have her in his arms would purify him of all his sinful thoughts. Yun always brought it up with his friend, who had simply told him to put out those fires. (For the time being).

“Have you heard of ‘Ghostface’?” Her head snaps up from her workbook, in the library where one of her closer acquaintances sits opposite playing with her water bottle. A newspaper article sits in front with the notorious blurry image of a man with a ghost mask roaming around town.

“This is the first I’m hearing. I mean it’s Halloween soon, so it’s probably some idiot roaming around town.”

“An idiot? I don’t think so, ma’am. Read on, he’s been going around stalking people in his costume.” She raises her eyebrows, nimbly scanning her eyes over the text before returning back to her work. Though she cannot help but stare back at the blurred image of the figure. “I bet there’s a sexy man under all that.” Scowling at her friend, she sends a dirty look.

“You have got to be kidding me. A ‘sexy’ man. You said it yourself, he’s stalking people.”

“Yeah but, one of the girls from Art said he was mad tall and had this deep, attractive voice.”

“Yes, I bet he goes: ‘come here babe, let me kill you’ in his husky voice and you all go running to him because you have no morals.” Once again, she rolls her eyes whilst her friend merely giggles as if she is just pleasantly awaiting to be a victim. She rarely meets women who have an ambition for a victim complex, yet those she does: she steers away from.

“I’m only joking, but be real. Have you never heard a guy with a deep, attractive voice?” Her friend questions, making her pause her writing. In fact, she has. Mins’ voice has a sent over her railings during their late night calls, there’s something so potent residing within it. Intoxicating. It almost has her want to do everything he asks.

He is too, tall with a deep voice but there must be so many like him in this world.

The thought is dismissed and she shoos away her friend to allow herself to prioritise the exam that’s pending in two weeks time.

modern-division: have you guys heard of ghostface?

killed.theradio.st4r: why?

modern-division: just asking, apparently some loser is dressing up in a ghost mask and stalking people. idk if it’s just halloween round the corner though

killed.theradio.st4r: oh no :(

killed.theradio.st4r: could just be a halloween thing

modern-division: yeah, I think so too.

“So you like the librarian?”

“Mhm.” She steals her longing gaze away from him towards Yeji, who sends a vicious smirk her way. A blush taints her cheeks, knowing that Yeji will never live it down now. “I’m not gonna deny he’s pretty good looking.”

“Pretty good looking? He’s gorgeous as fuck. He’s not a want, he’s a need.” Playfully, she bites her lip suppressing a fit of giggles by burying her face into the textbook. A few others send irritated looks from across the room, which has the pair sinking in their seats. “You think a guy like him is single?”

“Absolutely not. If I had the chance, I’d snatch him up right away.” Her eyes flicker back to the tall man who catches her stare in an instant, he holds it before moving back to surf through the books on the trolley.

A low beat surfaces along the posters, her phone is sandwiched between her shoulder and cheek as she trudges furiously around the room looking for her scarf. Min's voice permeates her ears delicately, despite the alarming sentences he speaks; he converses in length about human anatomy saying that raw flesh must be easier to study than cadaveric tissue. As much as she agrees, just to play devil's advocate she will never admit that.

“I love your voice, Mings. It’s so deep, but like in a comforting way. As if you can protect me.” The declaration escapes her mouth before she can even stop it.

“Do you want to be protected by me, or from me, doll?” A pause lingers in the air, before he lowly chuckles—one that forces her to laugh with him though an uneasy feeling resides within her bones.

“By you, preferably.” She jokes, playing with the pendant of her necklace. A shadow looms by the open doorway, obscuring the stream of light that spills in from the hallway; the deafening silence panics her. “Mum!” She shouts, discarding the phone to the side in a frenzy.

“Yes! I just had a cup of tea for you, were you not studying?” The door is pushed open by nonetheless, her mother who waddles across the carpeted floor to settle the hot beverage down on the table.

“I was, I’m just tired now. Maybe I’ll come back to it later.”

“No, no. Go to bed, dear. I’m off to work, make sure you’re outside by 8, I’ll drop you.” A soft kiss is placed on her forehead, she is calmed by the maternal affection seeing her mother to the door before she dashes back into her room to find her phone.

The call must have been disconnected in the process of her flinging it elsewhere, her hands shake violently as she’s, pathetically, unable to hold the phone steady in her grasp. Mings has spammed her several times with messages, she doesn’t bother to read any of them.

modern-division: i’m tired, going to bed.

psycho.killer: goodnight, babygirl

In the midst of wandering through the aisles of the library, seeking books two shelves above her head, it instantaneously occurs to her that she’s never actually paid much attention to Yuyu and Mings’ pet names that they have for her. Doll, babygirl, darling, love, honey, etc. The list seems to never end yet she ponders the primary reason they get so comfortable around her is because she has never actually given them a reason to stop being so affectionate.

A cascade of books tumble down from the shelf, hitting the floor with a powerful slam—jumping backwards on instinct, she grimaces reaching down from them as a few pairs of eyes stare at her from their tables. Her face heats red in embarrassment, until another pair of hands comes to assist her.

"Goodness, how did you manage this?" Her eyes gleam up into another's; words lodge in her throat upon realisation of the being in front. It's the 'hot librarian', as her and Yeji have trademarked.

"Oh, I—they just fell." He raises his eyes at her.

"They just. Fell." A mischievous smile is sent her way as he stacks the books back onto the shelf, that's too high for her to reach anyway. "We'll call it the force of gravity then, shall we?" Shyly, she nods, handing him the last of the books. Her eyes reel in the name scrawled across the name tag. A thought Yeji will be pleased to hear drifts into her mind.

“I’m Yujin, by the way. I’m always at the help desk if you need to me to stack book that fall off the shelf again.” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. It clearly says ‘Yunho’, on his name tag. He stalks off in the opposite direction before she can question him, leaving her abandoned in the desolate aisle.

modern-division: the hot librarian lied about his name.

modern-division: I wonder why

Paranoia is no longer a delusion. It must be very true that someone is following after her.

Under the banner of the night, herself and Yeji walk back home after a long day of studying. They amble down the cobbled roads, yet her eyes cannot help but glance over her shoulder. There must be a man of some sort following them, his long calculated strides send a wave of fear pummelling through her. Instantly, she grabs Yeji’s hand dashing down the road towards the convenience store.

The dim lights flicker upon their arrival, she cowers behind the large aisles; ignoring her friend’s imperatives watching as a tall figure saunters into the store.

It’s him.

Jeong Yunho, the Librarian.

Or ‘Yujin’ as he addresses himself for reasons she assumes she will never know why.

Is he her stalker?

“I thought there was someone stalking us. There was a guy who walked all the way from the library to the road we just crossed behind us. I took a detour as well and he kept following.” She breathes out, leaning her head against the shelf.

“Are you kidding? Why didn’t you tell me?” Yeji squawks.

“I didn’t want him to suspect that I knew he was following.”

Her eyes sought ‘Yujin’ who gives her a sincere smile before he makes his way to the exit.

modern-division: I think there was someone following me

psycho.killer: ??? are you home? are you safe now?

modern-division: yes, but shit that was scary.

psycho.killer: let me call you bbg, I’ll help get your mind of it

Her phone vibrates in her hand, her finger traces over the red button before she lifts the device to her ear. His smooth tone infiltrates her ears again, easing the anxiety prevalent in the fibre of her muscles. She doesn’t know how Min does it. He helps her forget all about her problems, it’s as if he himself is the cure.

“Oh hey, baby. There was something I wanted to ask.” He pants slightly, the distant sound of leaves crunching drifts from the other end of the line.

“Are you outside?” He laughs.

“Yeah I’m walking home.” His hasty breaths pervade the line. One after another, a series of profane thoughts enter her mind. She is so disappointed in herself. “So, you got a boyfriend?”

“Why? Do you wanna ask me out on a date?” She teases, a lock of hair curls around her forefinger, the vibrato of his voice truanting into her ears, exhilarating her core as rush of certainty floods into her.

“Maybe, do you have a boyfriend?” He piques, she cannot help but grin at his words as if they are both playing a dangerous game of seduction, one she has never played before and one he has won a countless number of times.

“No.” Her truthful answer is not one that hurts her, though she says it as if she’s lying and has had countless lovers before in the past. Perhaps this is the persona that will have her enigmatic paramour crawling towards her.

“You never told me your name.” He acknowledges, 'Mings' has only ever called her 'doll'. Her moves are careful as she continues her cyber relationship with this unknown man, there's a reason she's at the top of her class—he thinks. A thread of messages enter from another chat room, his sharp eyes reeling in the words of his partner.

“Why do you wanna know my name?” Sheer curiosity. Yes, he told her he’s called ‘Mings’ but it’s just a silly nickname used to gain her trust. What is it really short for: Mingi? Mingyu? And Yuyu? Is it possible that he is Yunho? A foreign uneasiness rushes into her skin, she’s cautious as she sits up in her desk chair.

A bad feeling, an intuition of some sort.

He’s going to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear.

“I wanna know who I’m looking at.” Her finger immediately presses, harshly, onto the red button throwing her phone onto her desk. Her body jumps up from her seat, heart pounding furiously against her chest. With her body leaning closer to the window, her eyes outcast the front lawn in which a slender figure stands outside. A ghosts mask rests upon his face, his lanky frame is shrouded in a loose black cloth concealing the shape of his body. A large brick phone is held up against his ear, when he catches her staring down at him, his head cocks eerily to the side.

psycho.killer: Pick

psycho.killer: Up

psycho.killer: The

psycho.killer: Phone

psycho.killer: Doll.

•••

All Right Reserved © the-midnight-blooms

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, REPURPOSE, OR PLAGISRISE ANY OF THE WORK HERE

A/N: happy 'late' Halloween! my timing is atrocious, but here's a 'small snippet' of a fic i may continue if my writing schedule allows. atm its a one-shot. What's your favourite scary movie? 👻

let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for any future fics I post!

tag list: @n0v4t33z @potatos-on-clouds @jjongwho

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I need your Kaidan opinions for the fave character game. Pwease. 😻

From the character ask game.

Oh God, I will have to change my pants by the time I'm done.

Favorite thing about them

Everything??? He's such a complex dude, and all of his complexity is shown so subtly in a way that also reflects him as a character. I love it.

But most of all, his emotional maturity, his intelligence, his self-esteem, and honestly, how incredibly badass he is.

He doesn't use Shepard as a therapist, as a fixer for his problems, as a pillar of strength to lean on. Instead, he always comes into this relationship (platonic or romantic) as an equal, and it's so refreshing to see.

Every other squadmate needs something from Shepard, and with Kaidan it's the other way around. It's Shepard who needs Kaidan, a person who will remind them that what military propaganda usually pushes as "the hardest choices a soldier can make" are actually the laziest choices.

Kaidan knows that killing is easy. Destroying is easy. But showing restraint, showing compassion, trusting someone, doing the right thing, that's hard.

Also, Kaidan is literally the only squadmate who consistently tells Shepard that they can step aside, that they don't have to do everything alone, that they have their team for a reason, and oh god, thank you Kaidan, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Least favorite thing about them

My god, he's stubborn.

And yes, Shepard needs someone like that in their close circle, but oh Kaidan, my man, my dude, my wonderful human being, you have to learn to relax, to let things go sometimes.

I think the main thing about him is that he's actually so passionate, he feels deeply, and friendship and love are so important to him, but he has trust issues, and he has standards, and he's very intelligent, and all of that runs over this deep well of emotions that he carries around.

He wants to love with abandon, but he can't. He wants to do the right thing all the time, but it's impossible. He has to learn how to compromise, how to live in the gray area.

Honestly, there are so many parallels between his and you-know-who's ark, no wonder all his fans feel so strongly about Kaidan.

Favorite line

So, so many.

"I think we're gonna need a bigger boot, Commander."

"I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better."

"Mike Hazer? Hazer the Laser? Almost didn't recognize you. ... You owe me money."

"Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had."

"You'll never find out."

I love his sarcastic ass. And I love all the glimpses into that deep well that is his heart. He's so good.

brOTP

Joker! Oh my God, that first dialog between them is fucking amazing. I feel like Joker is one of Kaidan's main sources of gossip (something Kaidan is interested in both professionally and recreationally), and Joker finds Kaidan's dry wit incredibly funny. They get along just fine because they enjoy teasing each other for sport, but other people probably misinterpret this as dislike. Same with him and Ash.

Also, Tali! Two nerds just talking about tech, weapon mods, all that good stuff. And he's obviously very sweet and protective of her. I really have to read about those two.

If we're talking about ME2 squadmates, his choice would obviously be Samara. I think he would've been fascinated by her story, her abilities, her lifestyle and would've hung out with her a lot. They're just very similar people in my mind, and for Kaidan, it would have been an excellent insight into the extremes of the morality he tends to lean towards.

In ME3, he probably hangs out a lot with James and Steve because he likes Steve and he can tolerate James most of the time. XD I think Kaidan and Steve have a lot in common. There's this careful quietness about them. They're both observers, they're both cautious and reserved. And I think Kaidan can see that there's kindness at the core of Steve's soul, and that's important to him.

And finally, mShenko, because whether they end up as a couple or not, they're friends first and foremost. Their romance is purely friends to lovers. Not mentor/mentee+friends to lovers, but friends to lovers. They're open and honest with each other, they care about each other deeply, they know how to tease each other without hurting anyone's feelings. They're equals.

OTP

mShenko. Oh god, it's so good. The slow burn, the maturity of it, how they don't hide behind unnecessary labels and the promises that would probably never be fulfilled. They're just there for each other despite everything, despite their time running out, and it's perfect.

Bonus points for being so obviously horny for each other.

nOTP

Kaidan/Ashley. I just think they work a lot better as friends.

Random headcanon

Kaidan doesn't really like to talk about his childhood, not because it was bad, but because he had a "rich kid's childhood", and things that were common for him throughout his life are actually quite unique and only come when you have a lot of money.

How can you casually mention your annual vacation aboard your family yacht in the company of an Earthborn orphan, a turian from Palaven, and a quarian who spent most of her life on a starship?

Also, both mShep and Kaidan enjoy being knocked around a little from time to time. So they do sparring sessions together, and this shit is _intense_.

Unpopular opinion

He does casual hookups while on shore leave like any other normal Marine. He finds a girl or a guy, fucks nasty, blows off steam, and returns to his duties.

Song i associate with them

Garbage - Control

Favorite picture of them

This one.

Thank you for this ask! I always love to talk about my man Kaidan.

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Part 9

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Body shaming, Implied abuse. Let me know if I missed any!

Part 8 -- Part 10

Series Masterlist

Jake had his calendar open on his phone, putting in all of the events the two of you had been volun-told to attend. His heart sank as he realized just about every weekend would be taken up with something. He was going to have to work with you to coordinate calendars, clothes, and everything else.

"And don't forget to show up at the office first thing Monday morning," Montgomery tells him. "We've got an entire new employee orientation set up just for you."

"Thanks," Jake nods, exhaustion heavy in his voice. "8 AM, right?"

Montgomery laughs. "That's the arrival time for the drones and minions," he jabs. "But I suppose it would work to help endear you to them. Just don't expect anyone but your secretary to be there until at least 10."

"Right," Jake says through gritted teeth. "And do we need to get fitted for clothes or anything?"

"You saw the ones we got for you in the closet, yes?" Cordelia says with a raised eyebrow.

You try to hide your wince. If the parents knew you weren't actually sharing a bed you'd be in even more trouble.

"Yes, mother," Jake lies. "I just...didn't know if...if we'd need something special or tailored for the events."

The parents seem to buy his explanation and you breathe a little easier. Feeling full of nervous energy you keep yourself busy by refilling drinks and gently ask if anyone needs anything else.

Your mother snorts, "it's such a small wonder you haven't been able to lose weight, thinking people need more than that feast of a breakfast."

Jake's mother, Cordelia, laughs in agreement. "Seriously, girls these days are just too lacking in self control to starve themselves like we had to."

"It's such a shame," Carol shakes her head. Jake bites back a comment, reminding himself of what happened just an hour before when he tried to defend you. "I swear, the 'body positive' trend is undermining the strength of will of the younger generations. Who needs to eat to be healthy? Just take a few multivitamins a day."

Cordelia nods, "and you know they're not going to be able to make it through a pregnancy, either. The babies are going to be so fat!"

Your mother's follow up comment gets cut off by her phone ringing. You recognize the ringtone as the one she uses for when Travis calls her. "Travis!" Carol cheerily cries as she answers. You shouldn't be affected, but it still hurts that she never answers your calls with such excitement.

Everyone pauses when her smile drops. A hand covers her mouth and she starts shaking. "What hospital," she gasps, getting everyone's attention. "We'll be right there!" She hangs up and turns to your father, "Travis was in a car accident! We have to go!"

Your parents step away from the table, followed by Jake's parents.

"Should we go with you?" Jake offers, standing from the table.

"No," Montgomery shoots him down. "Only so many people allowed and we don't want to cause a scene by bringing a crowd."

Your mother starts sobbing and you go to comfort her but she smacks your hands away. "If we hadn't been visiting you he'd be okay," she snaps at you. You lower your head in shame. "You just had to keep us here, didn't you? I know you've always hated Travis. You know he needs more attention than you. And now he's in the hospital!"

"Let's go, Carol," your father intones. "Our son needs us more than she needs to be yelled at."

Carol huffs and storms out, followed by your father. You want to cry but Jake's parents are still here and you need to be a good hostess.

You turn to them to ask if they need anything but Cordelia sees your face and immediately scoffs. "Don't bother trying to keep us here. We're not that interested in you and now that your parents are gone, so are we."

William grabs his coat and tells Jake, "make sure not to screw things up worse. Anything happens to ruin this arrangement and your niece is up for grabs."

Jake's parents head out, leaving the two of you. That's when you start sobbing.

Jake's immediate thought is to comfort you, but he also knows he shouldn't touch you without permission. But would it be weird to ask when you're clearly already upset? Do you need words instead of hugs? Do you need water? Food? Blankets? Something else? He stands, torn with indecision, for several moments before moving close, but not too close, and asking, "what do you need?"

Caught off guard by the question you shake your head, "I don't know."

"Okay...let's start simple," Jake's voice wavers as he tries to keep himself calm. "Do you want a hug?"

You sob for a few more seconds before silently nodding. A hug does sound nice. You're not used to them, but they can feel good, right?

Taking your nod as permission Jake gently wraps his arms around you and you lean into him. When he helped you with the spilled coffee you got a sense of how much muscle his arms had but the hug solidified it. More importantly, he was so gentle with you, despite being so strong. You cry even harder at the realization of how much you've needed such a gentle touch in your life. You push a little harder into Jake's chest and he doesn't move. He doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything other than just hold you and let you cry.

Part 8 -- Part 10

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @irishhappiness

@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[sycamorality]

thinking abt that 1 time where i was semi-active on a discord server for a yter i watch cause his content actually interested me.

at some point in the announcements channel he posts a link to a game, asking everyone in the server to playtest the game. i'm sideyeing this game because…. this guy is a minecraft youtuber. this guy made a world with only one block where structures generate in the world. so i talk in general chat like, "hey are we sure we can trust this..?" and i try to warn people that this could be a scam and call it out that he could've been hacked because he's not the type to do this.

some other people are suspicious too but i'm the only one being 'loud' about my suspicion and pointing it out. one of the mods, who to my knowledge was the guy's friend, is like "no he's not hacked he's made games before". so i download the game and run it through a malware tester. guess what it turns out to be. i post a screenshot of this in general chat. i think it gets deleted pretty quickly but some people do see it. i keep trying to point out hey this is malware dont downlaod it and play it..? but the mod who is the guy's friend keeps saying "he's made games before" etc etc and someone plays it in vc. yes, it's a simple 2d shooter, But its still got malware.

and i'm just sitting there in vc like. guys. guys this is fucking malware. guys. oh my god guys. i also point out that the youtuber doesnt type like he usually does. he usually types all lowercase with a few specific typos and he's not doing that right now which is you know, weird as fuck. i'm still weirded out because he's not the type to make a game like this?? and then after a few minutes they like. start kicking people from the main server, specifically people that are voicing their suspicion, and thats finally when people started realising. oh shit. something's fishy about this.

and someone makes a temporary server for everyone thats active to gather while shit continues to go down and the main server is locked down because the hacker's realised theyve finally gotten got. so the hacker's doing damage control and people are talking in the second server someone made and then the youtuber joins with an alt on the second server after two hours or so and confirms he got hacked and that the game that "he" sent was malware. and i'm just sitting here trying my best not to go "I TOLD YOU!!! I FUCKING TOILD YOU!!!! I SAID IT FIRST!!! I SAID IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT WAS POSTED AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN"

anyway i ended up leaving that server later because there were a lot of nsfw/18+ jokes that were thrown around even though there were minors on the server. actually 1 of those were directed at me and it was someone "joking" about commissioning me to draw nsfw and me responding "im a minor" and him replying "i see... so ur playing hard to get" and i brought that up to the youtuber and he just brushed it off like "no he just makes jokes like that. hes just like that"

[furiousgoldfish]

On effortless recovery (personal)

I've been slowly dealing with cptsd and osdd for the last 8 years, and while I've had to actively work on some stuff, other have just happened without my interference, or at least, without me knowing I did anything about it. I have not been to therapy; or rather, there's been several attempts that were not working, and I had to end them. For instance, I've had therapy with someone who showed next to no interest in my issues and kept minimizing and ignoring whatever I've been saying, and this was the only person who didn't try to institutionalize me.

I've had to actively work on osdd, and it's something I'm learning about, and understand more as I go, but I also get that osdd is making everything else much easier on me. For instance, lots of my memories and thoughts are being blocked from me, and contained in alters who are making sure that I'm not affected by it, that is a huge help. Lots of thoughts that would upset me if I thought about them, are completely out of my reach, and if I do try to think about them, my mind goes blank and I forgot what I was thinking about. That's a great help for issues like anxiety and spiraling; I used to drown in my own fears and worries; now I just can't remember any of it. It is slightly depressing that my own peace of mind requires that big amount of amnesia, but you know, having some peace is so nice I could never be anything less than grateful for it. Being able to maintain some semblance of peace feels like resiliency, it means I have a place of quiet where I can go back to, even when distressing things happen.

I'm having my chronic pain and chronic exhaustion ease away from me very slowly. I still get exhausted easily, and am tired way more often than a regular person, but I now rarely get days when I can't get out of bed, or have to sacrifice a whole week due to a flashback or a nightmare. I no longer get anxious about planning to do something a day or two ahead because I can count on having at least a basic amount of energy. I don't think I've done anything to create this, it was just happening over the years, on its own. It's also happening so slowly that I don't even feel the progress, I have to remember to look 3 or 5 years back and remember just how much time I've been spending in bed then, to realize that it's less now, that I can do multiple activities a day now. I know I'm extremely lucky to be recovering from this, because there are people who have a chronic condition that doesn't allow for recovery, and I am very grateful for every day I can move around.

Another thing that is much better is sleeping! I used to wake up feeling like I'm dying, overheated, stressed, anxious, sometimes even paralyzed in fear, and if not fear, then grief would hold me down and I would be too sad to move. Now I'm finding myself waking up thinking 'Oh I'm so well rested! I have the energy to tackle some chores' like I'm in an actual good mood. And it's like ??? what is going on, since when is this me. I've been dreaming of having mornings like this, and now I have them, and it just happened over time (8 years) I still only think about doing chores when I have energy, because I know it's the only time of day I'll have any energy, so if I wake up restful I will rush to do dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking, and whatever else, because I know the energy will go away later and I will become a sad slob. But it's much better than waking up and having to take a few hours (or days) just to recover from sleeping. My sleeping schedule has been 8 hours all along, I somehow can't sleep over the 8 hour mark, and can't function if I sleep less than 7.

I will still sometimes have flashbacks and meltdowns if anything bad happens to me, but the recovery time from them has gone way down. It used to be weeks, months even, to recover from a single bad event. Now it's more like hours and days. It's still not very similar to what I think a regular person would have to deal with, but I love the progress very much! One thing that slips my mind is that I regularly forget how much worse things used to be. If I bounce back from something, I forget that in the past, this would ruin me for weeks, and I forget that this is progress and to take a minute to acknowledge that. I just take what I can and go. But it's good to look at it and see that life is a little easier.

Some anxiety has also withered away from me, because so much of my anxiety was due to inexperience. New problems that would appear in my life seemed unsolvable and catastrophic, because I never faced those problems before, didn't know how to solve it, didn't dare to ask for help, didn't have skills or knowledge to tackle any of them myself, and all of it felt like it would lead to my doom. After already having solved some of those problems multiple times, I'm at peace just because I know what to do now. I haven't done much asking for help to be honest, because I hate it, but in struggling to solve the problems myself (sometimes taking months and years to do so), I've gathered knowledge, skills and experience, and I now have a general idea of what to do in situations that reoccur, and also know what to expect, how long something will take, what type of action will resolve it. Just living and tackling things by myself, and succeeding, eases a lot of anxiety. There is a solution to everything, with sufficient knowledge, experience and skills.

A lot of stuff that's previously been bothering me to the level where I couldn't deal with it, can now be dealt with merely distracting myself from it. Which I think is very funny, because I used to consider all my time playing games or looking at funny videos 'procrastination', because I wasn't being productive right, I was just 'procrastinating' and delaying dealing with life. Now I value these activities specifically because they can save me from feeling miserable and sad. There's a warmth to looking at people being goofy, funny, interesting, entertaining, and taking joy in it, and reminding myself there's still a lot of good things in the world, there are good people, there is warmth, there is love, and I feel better after seeing it, regardless of how awful I felt before. Having my own thoughts redirected to something hopeful is making my days better, more stable. I think I'm just stopping myself from spiraling into hopelessness, by looking directly at hope and staying fixated on it for long enough. And it's something I didn't previously value as a real activity, because I didn't believe that making myself feel better while producing nothing, was a worthwhile pursuit.

Being safe from abuse for a long time managed to erode the feelings of guilt and shame I had in my own interests, thoughts and activities, and I've became unafraid of any failures. It is now very clear to me that failing is the only way towards learning and it's incredibly valuable. I'm shameless at starting new hobbies and activities and it does not bother me whatsoever when I do badly. Even failing at big stuff in my life, things that created actual damage to me, supplied me with knowledge I don't think I would otherwise gain, and I treasure it. I don't feel ashamed or like I've done anything wrong. I've been able to engage with my own curiosity about things and I'm now able to ask questions about anything, without feeling bad for 'not knowing already'.

I've also accepted that I'm bad at some stuff, and it doesn't mean anything much about me, we're all bad at something. Sometimes I'm bad at stuff, but enjoy doing them, so I still do them, fun gives it good value! And if I'm both bad at something and don't enjoy it, then I completely drop it, and feel okay knowing this just isn't for me. I remember when I used to believe I'm bad at everything, just because I was getting such horrid feedback on it, now it's almost funny. I like stuff I create even when I do them badly, because I remember how much fun I had doing it. If I want to do them better, I know I just need to keep practicing and it will happen. Nothing a human creates is shameful, especially if it's not causing any harm to anyone. We're made to create and it makes us happy.

I don't think I've done anything specific to create these changes, maybe some critical analysis of the past, and some willingness to consider my own happiness important and worthwhile. I think I spent so much time grieving that I've actually processed the most of it, so I'm no longer as overwhelmed by it as I was before. It's not like I'm no longer sad, I will start sobbing frequently and whenever I'm tired, I am automatically miserable. But it is no longer constant, suffocating feeling that follows me for every second of existence.

I haven't done anything to fix the sleeping or to ease the chronic pain, that was just time and being safe from abuse for a longer period. I wanted to write this specifically because I've been waking up feeling okay the last few days and that was a shock to experience, what a bliss to wake up and think 'I'm well rested'. Incredible life experience.

[beebee3832]

Sweet Fae

Bear shifter!Price x Fairy!(fem)Reader (whose wings are paralyzed)

Tags: Predator/prey dynamic, size difference, just a bit scary, gore, death, shy reader, kinda awkward Price, a little fluff, building into fluff and smut (in future parts), CRINGE

This one is in Price's perspective!!

Note: Fairies in this fic are just really short, not super small like in Tinkerbell or something. Also, I made slight changes to this fic from the last time I posted it. Sorry for not uploading in a while!! I was pretty busy with life stuff.

Thanks for reading!! <3

    I stood there, tears resting on my cheeks, and watched her walk away without a word. No response to my quiet plea, just a slight turn of her beautiful face to look back at me. Though not a word was said, our locked gaze held a meaning that couldn’t be shaken.

    We would meet again.

    …

    With swift motions, I swung my axe over and over again. Even though the sun was going to set soon, the temperature remained just as warm as it was in its peak. Sweat beaded on my forehead and slid down to drop on the forest floor.

    My day was filled with constant attempts to get my mind off of her. Her small frame, her doe-like eyes, the way she held my face like we’d known each other for years…

    No! My thought scolded me as I shook my head. These feelings were just the byproduct of living on one’s own for too long, which is how it would stay. I didn’t need anyone messing up what I had built for myself. I was better off being left to my own devices. Who knows what I was capable of? Well, I guess I know even more based off of last night.

    That last thought made my chest sink. How could I be so out of control? How could I let myself stay out so late? I was lucky that the moon wasn’t full or else that poor girl’s fate would’ve been much different.

    “Damn it!” My yell echoed throughout the crowded forest, causing birds to shoot straight up from the trees and fly away.

    I looked up and saw that dusk had already settled in, making me realize that I needed to head back to the house. I didn’t even need to chop up more wood today; I already had enough wood for the next couple of weeks, but I was running out of things to do to distract my thoughts from that sweet faery. That sweet fairy I almost devoured. “Fuck,” I muttered, my self loathing starting to consume me.

    I gathered up my tools and two of the logs I cut and started to make my way back. The rest of the wood could be collected tomorrow.

    I took long strides to make it back in time before nightfall. My feet ached by the time I eventually made it back, which made me wince with every step I took. I dropped the logs and my tools somewhere near the front of the house; I was too tired to care or notice. Nothing and no one would steal from me anyways. Most of the forest knew what I was, so they chose not to come near me. No people were around either, unless you count the very few others like me that live here. We all had our respective territories though, and usually one does not cross them.

    Just as I was about to enter the house, I heard a slight rustle from behind me. Then I noticed a familiar…smell that piqued my interest. That smell…I knew that smell. I was ruminating on that smell for the whole fucking day. I eagerly glanced behind me, something my mind didn’t approve of. I shouldn’t have been that excited. I was supposed to be okay with being alone. Company was unwelcome.

    Those thoughts were interrupted when I saw her. Everything was interrupted when I saw her.

    She was just a couple feet away. I could smell her so clearly. Soft rain paired with some kind of flower. My chest tightened with the urge to reach out and envelop her in my arms, but I couldn’t. All I could do was stare down at her with the same wide eyes she was giving me.

    Was she scared of me? Of course she is.

    Then why would she come back here? Was my mind toying with me? Did my loneliness finally grab hold of my sanity?

    She walked up to me and spoke in a soft and cautious tone.

    “Hello.”

    Hello. Hello.

    “Hello,” I muttered back awkwardly, unsure of what to say. Where was all my charm from the night before?

    She spoke again. “Can I come in?”

    Come in?

    I cleared my throat. “Yeah, sure, of course sweetheart. Come in,” I said, putting a warm smile on my face. I held the door open for her as she slowly walked inside. I noticed her scan my house like she did last night, searching for every possible escape I assumed. Smart girl. Still, it brought my smile down just a bit.

    I shut the door behind me and offered her a seat at my table. I already had a meal cooking before I went out on my useless attempts to distract myself.

    I gave her a portion and then sat down across from her, which once again reminded me of how small she was. Each wing of hers was smaller than my arms. She had to be at least a foot shorter than me, maybe more. I was definitely much stockier than her too. Such a perfect little thing compared to a monster like me. The bear in me was a little too excited over that.

    The sound of her voice startled me out of my trance.

    “You’re staring.” She looked at me with an almost fearful expression, which made me feel like shit. I was sure she was expecting me to kill her by then.

    “I-I’m sorry. I was just lost in thought, that’s all. Do you like the food?” I sputtered out.

    “It’s good,” she said with a slight smile on her face. Is she making fun of me or is she smiling because she likes it?

    She looked at me with thoughtful eyes. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here again, aren’t you?”

    Actually I’m wondering why I’m so obsessed with you.

    “You could say that, yes,” I said with a breathy laugh.

    She hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath. I could tell that she was nervous to say it. My mind could only think of the worst things.

    “I wanted to see you again.”

    My eyes went wide for just a second. My heart exploded for just a second. She wanted to see me again? After I almost slaughtered her? After I had to save her from myself? After crying to her like a pathetic little boy?

    “You intrigue me. I’ve…I’ve never seen anything like you before,” she admitted shyly.

    I wished she’d never seen me in the first place. I wasn’t meant for sweet things like her and she most definitely wasn’t made for a savage thing like me.

    “You shouldn’t have had to,” I murmured, barely looking into her eyes now.

    She stood up from her seat and walked over to me. Even though she was standing, I was still a bit taller while sitting down. She looked up at me with those pretty eyes of hers, seemingly studying me.

    “I have a question,” I said.

    “What is it?”

    She was a forearms length away, which was too close for comfort. I could almost feel her breath on me. My heart skipped a beat.

    “Why?”

    Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why, what?”

    “Why would you want to see me again?” My voice was quiet.

    She smiled and let out a soft sigh. “I…I really don’t know.”

    Disappointment twinged inside me. Why was I disappointed? I should’ve wanted nothing to do with this fairy, but my heart wanted her to at least be a little glad about seeing me again.

    “I suppose I was just intrigued by you,” she said sheepishly.

    Just then, the hairs on my body stood up. My eyes widened and my body as I felt an unfamiliar presence close by, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the fairy in front of me.

    “Hey, what’s going on?” Her voice wavered.

    I ignored her. Something wasn’t right, and I needed to find out what. I quickly stood up and rushed to open the curtains to my window just a sliver, noticing that the sky was dark once again. Shit.

    I quickly closed the curtain in fear of my bear coming out in front of her. The moon’s light touching my face would become a disaster for her if I wasn’t careful. I didn’t even want to think about it.

    Suddenly, I heard it. Something was circling too close to my house. Something was ignoring the boundaries of my territory. The thought enraged my bear. Usually, I would kill a creature–or even a person–for this, but with her here, I couldn’t bring myself to. For some reason, I wanted her to know that she could be safe with me, even when that was far from the truth.

    I took a second to hone my senses to focus on what was outside…

    A shifter. The realization made my bear even more upset.

    I heard it sniffing the door, no doubt trying to find a way to get in. I glanced over to the pretty fairy and saw her eyes jolt open when she heard it too. My first instinct was to kill, but instead, I made my way over to her. I could see her shake from fear, making me even more angry at the stupid thing in my territory.

    “Sweethear–”

    Her eyes shot up at me. “Wh-what is that?” She said in a whisper that I could barely hear. I needed to do something fast. This stupid creature was ruining my chances at ever having some sort of connection with her. That very thought made my heart beat fast in my chest with panic. I had to do something to get it away from here without scaring her, but that was going to be very difficult to do.

    I gingerly held her hands in mine, looking into her wide teary eyes. “Listen to me. You’re gonna be alright sweetie, but you need to hide somewhere away from any windows alright?” I kept my voice low and steady. She nodded frantically and then went to hide under the kitchen table. Good enough.

    I returned my focus to the outside. That shifter would pay. My bear was already aching to turn and protect what’s ours. I decided that I’d have to sneak through one of the windows. The moon’s light would make me automatically shift but hopefully she wouldn’t see it. I ran to the back window, opened it, and jumped out.

    Fuck! I could feel the sharp pain all throughout my entire body as soon as the night’s air touched my skin. My bones broke and creaked and stretched in unimaginable ways. I could feel tufts of fur painfully shoot out from my body. I couldn’t even hear my grunts through the ringing in my ears.

    My vision blurred with tears until it became even clearer than ever before. The night wasn’t so dark anymore, signaling that I had fully turned. I would never get used to that feeling, no matter how many times I shifted.

    I wanted to take a breather like I normally did after my intense shifts, but I had no time. My bear was in control now and there was only one thought in his head.

    Protect what’s mine.

    My bear let out a roar, not thinking about how I was just trying not to scare the cute little fairy hiding in my house.

    The sudden thought of her suddenly turned my bear and I into a furious frenzy. Protect.

    I took quick and heavy steps toward the threat, making sure to make enough noise to distract it from getting in. When I finally saw it, my blood boiled even more. It was a wolf shifter. It had a long and droopy snout with saliva dripping from its mouth. Its dark fur would’ve made it almost impossible to see for the normal eye, but I could see it quite clearly. I could see every disgusting thing about it. Its hand, fit with long claws, had penetrated through the door, no doubt trying to unlock the door from the inside.

    Panic surged through me. This ends now.

    I charged over to it and shoved it down to the ground. I heard it let out a yelp, and then I felt claws slash through my back. The searing pain weakened me, making it easier for the wolf to gain the upper hand.

    It flipped me over with impossible strength, making my bear groan. I hurriedly hauled myself up before it could make another attack. He may have been strong, but he was no match for me. A bear was bigger than a wolf.

    He swiftly made his way back over to me to deliver another slash, but I caught his leg in my mouth and bit. Hard. The crunch echoed throughout the forest, as well as his pained howls. I stood to my full bear height, making him dangle from my mouth. I could taste blood starting to overflow in my mouth.

    The wolf continued to thrash and snarl in pain, making it harder to hold it up. The rest of its claws continued to slit through my skin, making me wince. Fuck.

    I whipped my head to the right to launch him toward a tree. Surprisingly, he got back up rather quickly.

    I went back down on all fours and stalked over to him, making sure to make my steps heavy. The ground almost shook below me. I looked down on him.

    Go. My bear said to it.

    The shifter just continued to bear its teeth at me, getting ready to throw another blow.

    I growled deep and thunderous. Go!

    Even a wolf of its size couldn’t help but be scared. It was stubborn, but not stupid. With one last snap of its teeth, it turned to limp away.

    The bear inside me huffed in amusement. What a stupid wolf, thinking it could invade my territory and survive. I jumped forward and crushed it below me. It howled and whined and shook until I opened my mouth wide and tore its neck open. The sound of bones shattering and tendons snapping filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction. I stayed there holding it in my jaws until he stopped moving completely.

    Once I knew the shifter was dead, my bear’s mind went back to the faery in my house. I walked back to the house and shifted back. The pain was almost dulled by the exhaustion that had taken over me, and I fell to the floor, naked and unconscious.

    …

    When I finally woke up, I heard a pretty voice humming. I opened my eyes and saw that it was my fairy. My heart swelled when I saw that she was tending to my wounds.

    “Hello sweetheart.”

    She jumped a bit, but then gave me a worried smile. “How are you feeling?”

    Wonderful with you here. “I’m alright.”

    She let out a sigh of relief. Such a caring girl. She should’ve been gone by now, but she was here, taking care of someone who didn’t deserve it.

    When she was done tending to my various lacerations, she turned away. “Let me go make you something to–” I interrupted her with a firm grip on her arm.

    “Stay.”

    She looked back at me confused. Cautious. Understandably so, because I didn't even know why I said that.

    “Lay next to me sweetheart.” When she still didn’t move, I gave her a playful pout. “It’ll help me feel better.” When she rolled her eyes and sighed, I knew I had won.

    We laid together in silence for a few minutes. It was unlike any silence I had ever known in my decades of solitude. It was warm. Comfortable. It was a silence that set my heart at ease. If I could, I would lay in it forever.

    “What’s your name?”

    Her pretty voice made my thoughts scatter away. I turned to her and saw her bright eyes gazing at me expectedly.

    “John. John Price.”

    A soft smile showed on her face. “John. I like that. It’s a sturdy name.”

    “Sturdy?” I let out a loud and genuine laugh. “I’ve never heard that before, sweetheart.” What a strange girl. I loved it.

    She looked almost embarrassed with that shy smile of hers. Adorable. “Well, you know, it just sounds like it would belong to a reliable person? I don’t know!” A small giggle from her filled the room and my heart.

    “What’s your name, little fairy?”

    She said her name.

    “Pretty.” Like her. I wanted to know everything about her. Every nook and cranny of her mind. I was going insane. My loneliness had taken a toll on me, I realized. What happened to leaving her alone?

    That one question opened up to hours of conversation. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. But there was something on my mind; something that I had been thinking about ever since I met her.

    “What happened to your wings?” I questioned in between a dip of silence in the conversation. That took her by surprise.

    “My–what?” She averted her eyes away from me, and I could tell she was growing nervous.

    Shit. Why did I say that? Am I a child? Why can’t I just hold my tongue? Stupid stupid stupid. “I-nevermind. It’s none of my business, I-I’m sorry–”

    She put a finger on my lips, silencing me. That one fraction of a touch made my mind go quiet. It seemed to have the same effect on her because she suddenly retracted her hand back. My bear whined.

    “No, no it’s,” she sighed, “it's okay. I get that question a lot.” The defeated look on her face made my heart ache.

    She took a deep breath. “My wings have always been like this. Paralyzed since birth. It’s extremely rare but I guess I got lucky.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Flying is such an important thing to the fairies. It’s sacred to us. It hurts when I can’t participate in our traditions. It hurts that they always look at me with that stupid pity of theirs. As if I’m not capable. As if I’m some sort of wilting flower.

    “It’s just hard being…different. Being the odd one out. Always.”

    “I know,” I said quietly. She looked at me in surprise with those beautiful eyes of hers.

    “You do?”

    “Yes.”

    She stared at me with expecting eyes, wanting me to say more. I wanted to. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to show her how much I understood. Why couldn’t I just get the words out? Why couldn’t I just open up?

    Because she would run. She would never want to spend her precious time with a savage like you. 

    My mind was right. She would never look at me the same if I told her why. Why I was cast away. Why I had to live alone all these decades. She would run just like the rest–and for good reason.

    I looked into her expecting eyes and pulled a stray lock of hair behind her pointed ear. A soft hue of pink painted over her face and ears and I smiled. With a hesitating hand, she pressed my hand to cup her cheek, now smiling back at me.

    “Let’s just go to sleep, sweetheart.”

    I could see the disappointment flash in her eyes, but I ignored it. It was best to not get too intimate with her. She wanted answers, but she wasn’t going to get any and she’d just have to deal with that.

    As I closed my eyes, expecting her to leave, I felt a brush of her hand on my jaw, almost caressing it, before it retracted just as quickly. I almost smiled.

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be added!):

@bumblebeesfromvenus

[cconfusedkat]

💤 YELLOW! I am Kat-- or Ameer-- or Ameera-- or Sydney-- YEAH. You get the gist of it ^v^;; Buuuuut on this blog I am mainly known as Kat and Sydney ～ ( °∇^)］my pronouns are he/hxm/they (+ lamb & spider neos), but moots can use she/her for me. :-3c mascneu terms are Def preferred ,,, idm fem terms but Still,

💤 Its basically a surprise for me to keep a pinned post or same layout for more than three months... wwww... BUT I'm making this it anyways just cuz I think I'm comfy w my style ,, ANYWHOM! Lets get into this blogs shtick!!!

💤 This is my only blog (for now) so quite LITERALLY everything goes here,,, i will spam reblog, infodump, create many textposts, share blinkies, share my art (doodles mainly) tagged with fandoms or untagged, and just a little place for me to be comfortable and unmask with. I will use tone tags (/j, /srs, /hj, /nf, /silly, /p mainly) for my comforts so if you dont want them used with you let me know 👍👍

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💤💤 LASTLY.... I can go from being chronically online to being chronically offline and not knowing the latest hit social media trend . HELP

👎 Regarding a few boundaries: Do Not flirt with me (I am taken by my qp + I'm aro), i don't particularly like jokes making fun of my grammar and slow internet, you are allowed to use my art for things as long as you specify it's not yours/credit me, do not be overly sexual with me (just cuz I draw nsfw doesn't give you the right to. y'know. talk weirdly with me. thanks), please NEVER call me the t slur or anything intersexist as a joke (even if you yourself are intersex and or transfem), and refrain from directly mentioning to me anything about father issues and/or abusive fathers. Sorry

*I am obviously not going to share all my disabilities, but, BPD + NPD + autism + DID effect me the most regarding my behaviors ,, I only ask for people to be patient with me

👍 Positive boundaries: I will frequently tell my friends how much i love them (with the exception if theyre not actually okay with that, please let me know) I am OKAY with joking around meanly (kys jokes & homophobic jokes) as long as you yourself are okay with making them. I love receiving spam reblogs and likes, don't be afraid to use my inbox or talk to me! I prefer mentions > dms, but if its urgent you can totally dm me here! I just wont Really have energy to respond depending on the day,, you can reach me faster on discord (beelektra)

Now is My time to be Annoying (lovingly) AHEMAHEMAHEM ,, I don't rlly post abt them All consistently but just know they are there

🎉💜 my special interests (not in order) ; garten of banban, pizza tower, bendy and the dark revival, poppy playtime, cult of the lamb, the great comet of 1812, hamilton, camp here and there, will wood, love chunibyo & other delusions, the guy who didn't like musicals, hatchetfield, brainpop, puss in boots, ihnmaims, beastars, deadpool, spongebob, starlight express, CATS (1998), FNAF, Beetlejuice, realicide/centricide, political ideologies, sharks , snow leopards , sociology

🎉💜 current hyper fixes ; ghost (the band), pressure, jujutsu kaisen, cult of the lamb, mouthwashing, murder drones, hatchetverse & starkid

ND THOSE ARE ONLY MY SPINTERESTS ND HYPER FIXES!! I def like more things that aren't just those two big things :-]c I love animangas and reading a lot of Yuri and yaoi ^_^ mascot horror is my favorite thing Ever. I also rlly like Minecraft series stuff , and I rollerblade as a lil hobby of mine ,,

❤️‍🩹 [my f/o's (fictional others) are the following ; alhaitham, kaveh, dottore, neuvillette, dogday, miss delight, shamura, stinger flynn, eyefestation, elektra, brake van, munkustrap, ruin eclipse] ❤️‍🩹

❤️‍🩹 [familial others ; furina, lyney, bendy/ink demon, boris & allison] ❤️‍🩹

❤️‍🩹 *These are all related to my found fam , or my own source mems Lol ,, I am a fictive but I'd rather keep my sources to myself? ^^;; ❤️‍🩹

TAPS MY PAWS TOGETHER ,,,, OK LEMME JUST. PULL THESE OUT NOW,

★☆ My tags are the following:

#sydneys doodles (all my art nd doodles here, some untagged some tagged ofc)

#sydneys thoughts (My Yapping)

#sydneys writing (either Fics I posted , wips , or writing advice I save)

#sydneys asks (asks answered by me)

#sydneys blinkies (blinkies I've made)

#sydneys videos (videos I share from my games (screen recordings) or videos I make)

#sydneys wips (wips having to do with either writing or art)

#for the kat (things made for me! usually tagged a day after or immediately depending if I forget or not)

My other links are toyhouse, artfight, ao3, and you can friend me on discord as beelektra !! <<33 you can def ask me for my other socials since I'm almost always using twitter nd other stuff typically more :>c

Toodaloo～ (*≧з≦)

[melimpostor]

Hello hello! I have a few questions in mind and I'm curious about everyone's input so i'm asking to whoever is interested in answering me :) ( Here or in dms, i would gladly have a chat! )

For people who write fanfictions: How often are you anxious about depicting a character right? I mean, aren't you afraid of being OOC? Does it bother you? Or are you just like "fuck it we ball i'm having fun"? How do you usually get through it? Does it get easier with time and experience writing?

Also bonus for people who write and draw: What is your favorite media between the two to share a story and why? Do you feel one is better than the other in some circumstances?

(I'm asking for a friend…)

Don't hesitate to link me posts if you answered it elsewhere too! Thank you for your attention ♥

[laniemae]

Ok ok ok, a fellow Tetro DR enjoyer, hi, hello, what are your thoughts on Okazaki because I am not normal about her and guess who just discovered her secret document thingie and by god I need to talk to someone about her

Sorry for taking so long to respond bc ye I was busy with a ton of stuff and kinda forgot about it but at least im able to now.

Ok so Okazaki. Like she’s a character we haven’t really seen much of but the intrigue behind her is so fascinating. It’s hard to start with her character when it comes to a general analysis but something I always find intriguing is her insistence on fairness at times. Like how she specifically pointed out in confession game how the last two people would have it easier bc everyone would know who the secrets belonged to despite having no reason to say that. She’s one of the few characters at the moment we haven’t seen have any sort of strong friendship or relationship with anyone and how Okazaki is always on the sidelines makes me think she might have a big plan for the killing game, whatever that may be. See she is one of the more observant students and especially how she locked herself in the auditorium in order to try and catch whoever was setting up the equipment and stuff definitely makes me think she’s got her own plan to figuring out what’s happening without too much involvement from the other students. I really want to see a spotlight from her to truly understand what her mindset is because it’s so hard to grasp at times. Okazaki funnily enough seems to be one of the only characters with a more “normal” perception of themselves, I can’t really go into that as that’s a long theory. But basically Okazaki very much just does what she wants at times and from what we’ve seen doesn’t exactly have too of an extreme view on anything which a ton of the other students have in some way. Yet despite this she chooses to cover up her face with a mask at all times which could imply some insecurity? But that just doesn’t feel that right and there’s still so much we have to know. Hell, even with the information we got from the secret logs learning more about her backstory we never understand who Okazaki is as a person from all that. She’s a type of mysterious character I’ve never really seen before and is so hard to get a grasp on and she’s so interesting for that.

[velvet4510]

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Learning to Respect Your Rival in Love

I have thoughts on Logan and Scott’s relationship in the Fox films. (I’ve never read the comics; this is strictly a commentary on the movie-verse.)

I always say ship and let ship. If you wanna look at these two through shipper’s goggles, fine. I won’t stop you.

But when I look at these two, I don’t really see something shippy. I see something actually quite remarkable, something that is very rarely depicted between rivals in an onscreen love triangle, and something that speaks to Logan’s incredible character development.

We are used to love triangles where the rivals despise each other to the point of competing, name-calling, fistfighting, and even duels to the death. Two people who have the same love interest are stereotyped time and again in fiction as bitter enemies who don’t care about the other’s wellbeing at all.

But Logan and Scott are different. Logan’s feelings toward Scott have a total 180 arc throughout the series, and it’s a phenomenal piece of character growth to witness.

X1 and X2

It’s no secret that they start off very jealous of each other and there is a mutual dislike as a result. They both want Jean. Logan is upset that Scott already has Jean, and Scott is upset that Logan is trying to steal her away. And let’s be honest, Logan is pretty disrespectful to both Jean and Scott’s feelings in the first two films. He shows no shame in flirting with Scott’s girlfriend in front of him and trying to get her to cheat on Scott when Scott has been kidnapped. When Jean insists she loves Scott, Logan just asks “do you?” as though she doesn’t mean it, and then kisses her despite her saying no. His desperation for love and attention makes him disregard and try to ruin Jean and Scott’s committed relationship. It’s not good behavior, and it’s probably Logan’s greatest character flaw in X1 and X2. Scott has every right to hate Logan for this.

But then something changes.

Then Jean disappears and is presumed dead.

Suddenly Logan and Scott have something in common. Suddenly they both are thrown into unimaginable grief and agony. Suddenly they are sharing something.

And then Logan comes clean with Scott. “She did make a choice. She chose you.” Finally, he understands Scott and says something respectful to him.

The Last Stand

And then a few years later, Jean reappears, not herself, and it is Scott who vanishes. Suddenly Jean is not only alive, but kissing Logan just as he has always desired. He becomes lost in the passion for a moment, because omg this is it, she changed her mind, she wants me, miracles do happen … The Logan of X1 and X2 would’ve gone all the way with Jean/Phoenix with zero hesitation.

But then Logan does something incredibly admirable and mature.

He stops.

He lets himself think, and he realizes: This isn’t Jean. The Jean he knew committed herself to Scott. The Jean he knew loved Scott, not him. This is wrong. She’s suddenly making a move on him, with no mention of Scott? This can’t be right.

So he asks what happened to Scott.

Scott, a man who Logan once dreamed of getting out of his way, is now a man whose life actually matters to Logan.

Then the rest of The Last Stand happens, and everything falls apart.

Days of Future Past

And then comes the greatest test that Logan has ever faced when it comes to this messy love triangle.

He travels back in time to change history. Back to a time before Jean and Scott ever met, before he ever met them. He finds himself sitting before a young Charles, the man who introduced Jean and Scott in the first place, wbo introduced him to his beloved Jean and to Scott in the first place. A young Charles who has read his mind and seen his memories of his love for Jean.

And here, right in front of him, is an opportunity to get what he would’ve done anything to get in X1 and X2. A chance to perhaps prevent Charles from ever introducing Jean and Scott, so he can be with Jean in the new future. To not tell Charles about Scott, to only tell him the names of Jean and his other friends like Storm to ensure they are still with the X-Men in the future.

But instead? He says this:

“Promise me you’ll find us. Storm. Scott. Jean. Remember those names.”

He mentions Scott! He mentions the man who he once envied, who held Jean’s heart and held onto it even as Logan gave his own heart to her. A man whose life and future he has now learned to appreciate and grow protective of.

He lets go of his jealousy, of his resentment, of his own desires. He honors Jean and Scott’s feelings, not his own.

He makes sure that Jean and Scott will still meet in the new timeline, that Charles will still bring them together, that their love will still grow this time around.

Then he goes back to the future and finds that it worked beyond his expectations. The Last Stand never happened. Jean and Scott are alive, well, and together.

In the end, Logan finally understands that Jean and Scott truly belong to each other, and that he was wrong to get in the middle, and so he sets off the domino effect that ultimately creates true happiness for Jean and Scott.

Logan changes from prioritizing his own feelings to prioritizing Jean and Scott’s feelings. He goes from trying to break up Jean and Scott, to personally ensuring that Jean and Scott still find each other even when history itself has changed.

Rather than destroy his rival in love, Logan instead ensures his rival’s salvation.

If that isn’t character development, I don’t know what is.

[panlight]

Ugh, YES! I couldnt agree more!! 😭

My friends and i were talking about this the other day (about how it seems like SMeyer (and i guess Bella 🙄) seems to have such OBVIOUS favoritism towards vampires) but seeing this ask reminded me of it again and it's a good jumping point.

It's just SO hypocritical that the first thing Bella assumes with the werewolves are that they're the ones eating people, which on it's own is FINE,,, if it werent for the fact that literally the previous book we have the Cullens/vampires who DO eat people by nature (and Edward even warns her!!!) and Bella's just "idc about it" and continues to not stay away, and still vouches for them despite the fact. Its always rubbed me the wrong way from when i first read that part years back, so when Jacob calls her out on it, yknow what? your right and you should say it, Jacob. (and let's not forget that a few chapters before that scene those same werewolves SAVED you from a vampire who did want to eat you, but ok Bella!)

Not counting Edward's (and some of the Cullens') unjustified prejudice on them, the werewolves are often portrayed in the narrative to be more savage, wild and lacking in free will compared to the vampires. What really cements this for me is that scene in BD, where Edward kinda goes "unlike you, we still have our free will" on Sam(??) and it really shows how the vampires (Cullens) are kinda shown to be "better" for denying their nature but the werewolves apparently "can't". Werewolves can't deny their Alpha (being able to is the exception), vampires can always leave their coven (being unable to is the exception); werewolves have no choice on their imprint, vampires have more liberties in finding their mates (ex: Victoria and Irina see James and Laurent as their mates, but that doesn't mean the latter two see them that way/are mated to them). That moment where Jacob finally breaks free from the Alpha command would"ve been a great moment for his character, and to show that werewolves do and can be above their nature, but then Nessie happened and he's just,,,fine with that?? He doesn't even TRY to break free from his imprint, or at least not be so held down by it. How is being okay with her biting him, attending to her every need and want, a GOOD thing? Bella even describes the imprint as Jacob's own needs being SECONDARY, bc appeasing the imprintee is now your "first reflex".

((there's also the way Bella's sees the vampires treating Jacob/the werewolves as nothing more than invisible/children/infants as ""easy acceptance"" (it's not, you can literally just say they barely tolerate them, tf), AND how the Cullens just stand there and watch Bella beat Jacob (in the movie she does get physical, in the book i think she only almost does) even though just a few days ago he saved your asses, you'd think at least Carlisle would do something!! even Leah, you'd think she'd do more about how Bella broke her brother's arm than just throw "murderous glares" her way, but NOPE!! But I'll just chalk these up to the story and characters bending backwards for Bella))

Yep. And some of this is, I'm sure, subjective, and people might have read/interpreted things differently, but your take tracks a lot with me. The vibes were just that the vampires were Super Cool and Awesome and something to be envied and admired. The wolf pack was warm and fun, but they were Poor and Uncivilized and always Bella's second choice. And again, that alone isn't really a problem. She's allowed to like spending time with her boyfriend more than with her friend. And she's Born to be a Vampire so there's maybe some naturally affinity for them. Whatever. Totally fair! It's just . . . the vibes.

It's telling, too, that in the original Forever Dawn the wolfpack was just "thinly sketched" and "most of them didn't even have names." They're a second thought and like, again . . . okay! SM's allowed to be more interested in the vampires. But that sort of dismissiveness, IMO, bleeds through in the writing. Harry Clearwater's death, for example, mostly exists so Edward can have his Romeo misunderstanding and think Bella's the one who is dead. But Harry's death should MATTER much more than it does. The wolfpack is antagonistic to Leah because like "ugh a girl and she's so upset about Sam" but like HER DAD JUST DIED?!? It doesn't seem to be a factor, like SM just forgot that it would matter to Leah, and to Seth, and the whole community. She brings up Embry's parentage mystery and then just does nothing with it. Why mention it? And like, sure, she does this with the Cullens too sometimes (Alice's backstory with James might as well not have happened), but at least there's SOME follow through: Rosalie's baby obsession in Breaking Dawn relates back to her backstory, Jasper's history fighting newborns becomes relevant, as does Carlisle's past friendship with the Volturi.

And it takes on that extra edge of ". . ." because she chose to make her poor, uncivilized, no free will 'werewolves' Indigenous. I do think she probably sincerely came at this from an oblivious "I just love Native cultures!" sort of place rather than a place of malice, but she co-opts these real people and rewrites their history and legends and then also just kinds of treats them as afterthoughts and also-rans. I don't super care that she doesn't super care about the human kids, but it feels different with the Quileute characters because she used these real people.