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#this is just a possible explanation and his charm could mean a different thing okay?
accio-victuuri · 10 months
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I was so curious about the red string bracelet ( clearly seen in airport photos shanghai > singapore ) and charm XZ is currently wearing. i’ve been using mine for more than 3 years now because of him among other “charms” here and there. i’m referencing this post by FlowerField_博肖拾光机.
The bracelet composition itself is a red rope, similar to his old one. This kind of red string has different meaning depending on the culture but for XZ i would think it’s more of having a personal instrument of luck and protection. tied to a belief in Buddhism that this bracelet can ward off evil spirits. These bracelets are handmade. While making knots, they ( buddhist monks ) repetitively recite mantras for the goodwill of the wearer.
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now for the charm, there are two meanings as both sides have 2 different designs. the first one being “fu” which means luck. traditionally it symbolizes goodwill & happiness— placing the character upside-down symbolizes it 'pouring out' or 'arriving. ' and upside-down fu character on your front door is a clever way to invite luck's arrival at your home.
the other side is a horse. i was wondering why, cause i’m 90 ( year of the horse ) and ZZ is 91 ( year of the goat/sheep. literally greatest of all time lol. it suits xiao laoshi ) so he should not be wearing it.
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the OP suggested to use the 十二生肖 3合6合生肖 查询表 table. as per the grids, the match for sheep for “6” is horse and this is possibly why the charm he uses is this.
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okay, let me try and explain it further…
Ancient Chinese sages believed that human life is destined, but destiny can be changed. One’s fortune is closely related to the mutual growth and restraint of each person's zodiac signs. Therefore, there is also a mutually reinforcing relationship between people. Finding the zodiac who is compatible with your own sign will be helpful to your life's fortune, interpersonal relationships, marriage and family.
The so-called Sanhe (3) and Liuhe (6) are the attraction and concentration of the power of certain elements among the Five Elements (wood, fire, earth, metal, and water). It can be seen from this that unity is the attraction, affinity and cohesion of the five elements. It is mainly based on the three combinations and six combinations of the earthly branches (i.e. "zodiac signs") of the year of birth.
In the 3 part of the table, for example in XZ’s case, sheep/pig/rabbit zodiac signs form a good triad together. Think of it as a kind of "bright combination", one that is fair and upright. It is the auspicious match of the three zodiac signs.
The three-in-one combination not only has a good fit, but also has thoughts, values, habits, actions. These people are usually so in tune with each other. The three-in-one zodiac signs are four years apart. As the saying goes, getting married four years apart is a match made in heaven. This is based on the "three-in-one".
As for the 6, known as your zodiac’s Liu He ( the six directions hence marked as 6 in the table even if there is just one match ). This is more of a secret alliance to that particular zodiac.
They may give strong support to the zodiac sign at work, or give timely advice/help the sign of the zodiac sign in terms of wealth, interpersonal relationships, or provide spiritual comfort. They co-exist harmoniously.
It makes sense. That luck charm added with the the strongest sign that helps the sheep which is GG ❤️
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TAKE CARE OF YOU [7]
Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader
Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)
Chapter Word Count: 2,800
Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?
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[a/n: this one is on the shorter side, but I didn't want to leave y'all with nothing (ironically I wrote this while on a plane to my conference/vacation). The Las Vegas trip will all be one large chapter (someone asked if I was gonna split that into parts, but I won't). Part 8 will just be viva las vegas the entire time, baby.]
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07: BEING VULNERABLE SUCKS ASS
"i don't have an explanation as to how you pull me in, you just do. you've always had a gravity that i've never been able to overcome." -JmStorm
The cost of a mani-pedi never seemed worth it to you in the past. You saved your money for other more necessary things like bills and groceries. Sitting in the padded chair with your feet resting in the heated water of the foot bath, you realized how much you had been missing out on. 
“I can’t believe that bitch showed up where you work.” Nima scoffed. She sat in the chair beside you with her feet in her own bath. You had used Joel’s money to pay for her to get a mani-pedi as well and that made you happier than the treatment itself. Over the years, Nima would pay for meals and drinks and times the two of you went out and she always did it nonchalantly and in a way that never felt like charity. It felt good to be able to buy her something for once. “How did she even find you?”
You shrugged, “No idea. Sugar baby grapevine?”
“Bitches do be talking.” Nima hummed. You chuckled and leaned back in your seat. This spa offered mimosas and you held your empty flute. Nima picked up her phone to shoot off a message before turning to look at you. “So? Viva las Vegas, baby. You excited?”
“Yeah,” You nodded once then tilted your head with a slight wince, “Well, I mean, I’m kind of nervous too. This is my first time going away with him. He’s stuck with me for a full 72 hours.” Once you started talking you found all your bottled worries spilling out. “What if he thinks I’m annoying and gets tired of me? I’m too scared to ask him if we’re staying in the same room or a different room because I don’t know what I want the answer to be. If he says no then I’ll be disappointed and worry that he is getting sick of me, but if he says yes then I’ll panic⏤ Is he not the man I thought he was and he’s expecting something from me? Or what if it is innocent and he got me a second bed, but then he hears me snore and thinks it’s gross?” You paused to catch your breath and realized Nima was just blankly staring at you with a raised eyebrow. “What?”
Nima shook her head. “Nothing.” She looked past you and raised a hand to catch the attention of an employee. “Hi! Yes, we need more alcohol please. As soon as possible.” You groaned and hung your head. Nima let out a low whistle. “Is that what your brain sounds like all the time? Jesus, babe.”
“I know I’m overthinking.” You admitted. A woman came by with a champagne bottle and you thanked her after she filled your glass⏤ turning down the juice she offered with it. You took a long sip. “I like him.” Nima’s eyes widened. “Yeah, yeah, you were right, okay? I… I like him. A lot.” A hand drifted up to hold the sunflower charm on your new necklace between your fingers. Tomorrow morning you’d be boarding a private jet with Joel and you’d be spending the weekend with a guy you were seriously crushing on. “I know it’s so stupid to start falling for a guy who is literally paying me to hang around him…”
Nima sighed, “Oh, babe.”
“This is the first time I’ve felt like this since… since Nathan.” You said. At the mention of you ex-boyfriend’s name, Nima’s eyebrows furrowed in pain. You didn’t often mention him, hardly said his name, and it was in part because just the thought of him hurt. Whether he meant to or not, Nathan made you feel like you had not been enough. Joel made you feel worthy. You hadn’t even realized that the hole Nathan left in your heart had been so deep until Joel began to fill it with care. “Maybe I shouldn’t go…”
Nima reached out and grasped your wrist. “No. You have to.”
“You told me liking him was a bad idea.”
“I know, but…” Nima shrugged. “You seem happier these days. Relaxed. I can’t tell you if this is going to end well or not, I have no idea, but… even if this is just some kind of emotional rebound, I think it’s good for you.” You gave her a small smile and Nima squeezed your wrist. “Nathan was a tool. You deserve to be happy. Even if happy comes in the form of a cowboy sugar daddy.”
You chuckled at her phrasing. Joel did make you happy. The negative, anxiety riddled part of your brain screamed that being a sugar baby was hardly the same thing as being loved. However, for the first time in your life you were choosing to ignore the logistics of the scenario and just focus on how you felt. 
“I keep telling myself to just be like you.” You admitted and Nima’s eyes widened. You chuckled and shrugged. “You’re never scared, Nima, and I feel… I feel like I’m always scared. You just explore love, guns a’blazing, and I wish⏤ I wish I could do that.”
Nima turned so fast in her seat that water sloshed out of the foot bath. She frowned, “Are you kidding me?? Of course, I’m scared! Loving someone, opening up yourself to be loved, is the scariest thing anyone could ever do.” Her lips pressed together and she reached out so both her hands held tight to yours. “So, don’t stress yourself out over it. How you feel is totally normal. Being vulnerable sucks ass.”
You shot her a firm smile as a few employees came over to discuss any specific nail styles you may want. Worrying about it too much would only ruin the trip. You had already come this far⏤ may as well keep jumping in head first.
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It had been ages since you’ve flown, literal years, and never had it been in a private jet. Standing on the tarmac watching part of the flight crew roll your bags to be loaded, you just stared. Eventually, a large hand settled in the middle of your back. Joel saddled up beside you and he offered you a small smile.
“You gonna board or just stare at it all day, darlin?” He chuckled. He wore one of his suits, but he had already stripped of his coat. 
You nodded, “Yeah, sorry, I just can’t believe I’m about to board a private jet.” Without preamble or question, Joel’s hand slipped from your back to slide down your arm and tangle his fingers with yours. It was almost a habit now for Joel to take your hand. He led you toward the jet. “Do you always ride in style like this?”
“Not always.” Joel replied. “But I will say that ridin’ like this has spoiled me of public airlines.”
“No kidding.” You chuckled and Joel motioned for you to walk up the stairs to the jet’s door first. He followed only a step behind, hand not leaving yours. The inside of the jet was simple but luxurious. Couches rather than single seats and one side had a booth like table. “I can’t imagine going from this to Spirit airlines.”
Joel snorted behind you and stepped around you so he could lead you toward one of the couches. “If you think I’m ever gonna let you fly Spirit, sugar, you’re crazy.”
You sat down and your eyebrows lifted when Joel walked toward the back rather than sit beside you. He briefly disappeared from sight, it sounded like he was speaking to an attendant, and you took that time to gaze around the plush interior of the jet. This was your life for now. It felt like a dream.
Joel walked back and he had two champagne flutes. Your lips pulled up into a grin as he settled right beside you and offered you a flute. “For the pretty lady.”
“Why thank you.” You chuckled. The two of you lightly clinked your glasses together before sipping at it. Despite the jet having, ample space, Joel sat close enough to drape his arm over the back of the couch behind you. “How long is this flight?”
“A little over an hour or so.”
“Oh, that’s not bad.” You hummed. “Is anyone else flying with us?”
Joel shook his head. “Tess is gonna meet us there on day two, and Tommy never comes to the Vegas conference.”
“Why?” You asked then paused. “To both situations.”
Joel chuckled. “Day one is kind of pointless for us to be there. All the work and meetings my company is involved in starts day two.”
You raised an eyebrow, “Then how come we’re going for day one?”
Joel shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “I figured it’d be fun to sight see together? If you’re interested that is.” You always loved watching him grow slightly nervous when asking you something like that because the smile he shot you after you inevitably said yes was damn near radiant. You nodded in excitement and Joel’s eyes lit up in response. “Good, and as for Tommy,” Joel gave a little shrug, “He’s got a history of gettin' involved in shit he shouldn’t. He’s got his head straight on now, mostly, but it’s just safer if keeps away from the temptation altogether.”
The pilot poked his head in to let you both know he was ready and suggest you strap in. You glanced around to see if there was a place you could set your flute down but the closest table was on Joel’s side. He set his own flute down briefly and reached out. You thought he’d take the flute, but instead Joel reached down to click your seat belt around your waist. It was such a simple motion yet you felt a warmth fill your cheeks.
“Thanks.” You mumbled. The plane taxied out to the runway and you quietly sipped at your champagne. You felt a rumbling underfoot as the plane picked up speed and when it began to rise your stomach lurched. Startled, your hand shot out to steady yourself on the closest object which just so happened to be Joel’s thigh. 
Before you could even fully comprehend how awkward this could be, your hand squeezed as the plane continued to rise— your only focus on the sensation of taking off. As the plane leveled off, you were able to feel other aspects around you, such as how thick and firm Joel’s thigh felt under hand.
He cleared his throat and peeled your hand off his thigh. Embarrassment flooded your soul, but Joel kept your hand in his. He laced his fingers between yours, shifting closer so his thigh was pressed against yours, and lifted your hand to his lips to set a soft kiss at the back of your hand.
“Are you alright, sugar?” Joel asked with nothing but concern.
“Sorry.” You shook your head. “It’s been a while since…”
“Don’t apologize. I should’ve asked if you were a nervous flyer.”
“I didn’t think I was.” You chuckled and swallowed the lump in your throat as the plane hit a patch of turbulence and wavered. Joel continued to trace circles against the back of your hand with his thumb and you focused on that alone. Somehow, his presence alone was enough to soothe your frayed nerves. You leaned your head against his shoulder and Joel shifted so you’d be able to rest in a comfortable spot. You really did like this way too much. 
Joel hummed, “Lemme know if you feel sick. We got a first aid kit on here somewhere with some motion sickness patches, I think.”
“I’m okay.” You replied, loathing the idea of him getting up or anything right now, “Where are we staying in Vegas?”
“The Wynn.” 
“Is that where you usually stay?”
“No, actually.” Joel said. “I usually stay at Mandalay Bay, but I thought you’d like the Wynn better.”
You were glad you were resting your head on his shoulder so he couldn’t see the absolute stupid smile that crossed your features. He had changed his usual routine and picked a hotel that specifically made him think of you⏤ one he thought you’d enjoy best. Maybe the bar was just on the floor from your last boyfriend, but it was no wonder you were falling for Joel Miller when he did such sweet, considerate things. 
“Why?” You asked.
“It’s real pretty. You’ll see.”
The two of you continued to chat idly and you listened to Joel tell stories about past conferences and the things he was looking forward to and wasn’t. Your stomach had mostly settled now that the plane was smoothly soaring at its cruising altitude. So, you figured now was as good a time as any to use the restroom. You excused yourself and cautiously walked to the lavatory. As you finished up and washed your hands, your eyes glanced up in the mirror at yourself. You may as well have been glowing. For the millionth time, you thanked your lucky stars that Joel had somehow found you.
At the thought, you paused. This entire time you wondered how Rosalind randomly found you at work, but what were the chances that Joel Miller would randomly walk into a failing bakery and see you behind the counter? You shut off the water, dried your hands, and walked back out. Joel was using the plane phone when he spotted you.
“Yeah, we’ll see you when you get here.” Joel stared at you as he spoke, his gaze soft. “Just call me if you need anythin’. Mhmm. Right. Bye, Tess.” He hung up and set the phone aside. “All good, sugar?”
“Can I ask you something?” 
“Course.” Joel nodded and you settled back in your seat beside him. 
You didn’t lay your head on his shoulder and turned just enough so you could face him while the two of you spoke, “How did you find me?” Joel raised an eyebrow in confusion. “At the bakery. Were you just passing by and saw me through the window? Or were you coming in for baked goods randomly?”
Joel suddenly looked sheepish. He cleared his throat, “It’s… Alright, this might not sound too good or flatterin’ toward myself.” You furrowed your own brows in confusion this time. “That week I was at a work site a few blocks down from the bakery. I had stepped off site to take a call and… and I saw you.” Joel rubbed the back of his neck, but he didn’t break his gaze. “I recognized you from the coffee shop, figured you were going to work, and I… I followed you.” Joel closed his eyes and shook his head at the admission. “Jesus Christ, you must think I’m the biggest creep. I swear I didn’t mean to. It was like… I was movin’ before I even knew it. I nearly followed you right into the bakery, but I stopped and came to my senses.” He reopened his eyes and there was regret and shame in his brown eyes⏤ two emotions you didn’t like seeing there. “I’m so sorry, darlin’. I know it was stupid and I tried to stay away, but I… I couldn’t get you out of my head. I broke down a few days later and came in. Told myself I was just gonna pay you back for the coffee and be done with it, but once I got to talkin’ to you…”
“It’s okay, Joel.” You said softly.
“No, it really isn’t.” He shook his head. There was a firmness in his words that echoed the shame he felt. “I should’ve told you much sooner than this and definitely not on a plane 40,000 feet in the air where you can’t even run from me.”
“I’m not gonna run.” You chuckled. Maybe you should be more concerned than you were, but Joel had been nothing but respectful the entire time you had known him. Besides, the only thing you could grasp from his words was the fact that it seemed Joel felt drawn to you the same way you felt toward him. It could just be naive optimism or a delusion, but you began to wonder if it were possible that Joel liked you as much as you liked him⏤ as more than just the sugar daddy and sugar baby ties between the two of you.
You turned in your seat to lay on his shoulder once more. Joel seemed mildly startled by the motion, but he was quick to wrap his arm around your shoulders to hold you in place. You reached up to play with his hand. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
Joel chuckled, “I’m never gonna lie to you, sugar.”
The pilot came over the intercom to announce he’d be starting the landing process soon and you wondered if Vegas was going to be the start of a new chapter of your relationship with Joel.
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taglist (closed):
@weddingfairy @bfences @fairntonorth @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk @shelbyteller @anoverwhelmingdin @aheadfullofsteverogers @stagerightlauren @basicoccult @rinnfey @boofy1998 @farintonorth @thepascalofus @amatis-gray @casa-boiardi @northernbluess @jettia @sapphicsoie @spidey-3 @camiali25 @hrtsforpascal @gingersince97 @sentients17 @bigboiseason123 @lunxramour @ktheunready @heyheyheygaypay @keepingupwiththeskywalkers @adoringanakin @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @cherriebat @whitewolfstar01 @alyssa121611 @asreadbyaj @painfullyandprettypoetic @cantobightcafe @hellooseulgi @str84pedro
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[previous][next]
✨J.M. Masterlist✨
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📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚
✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️
🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿
I have literally ❤️❤️loved❤️❤️ reading all your fics
🌊🌊🌊🌊
🩸🩸🩸🩸
🌌🌌🌌
Ahhh thank you so much! ❤️❤️
AND YES I LOVE A CHALLENGE.
Okay all brand spanking new sentence...
27 for 📚:
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As far as siblings go, it's a lot different than Chim and Albert or Maddie and Buck. Ravi doesn’t know much about Eddie and his sisters, but he thinks it’s probably different than that, too. In fact, there’s no one he knows who can exactly relate to it. And that’s always made him feel a little lonely. How else is he supposed to feel, when the whole world seems to treat a sibling like an automatic best friend or the person you’re supposed to trust beyond all others? Isn’t brotherhood, as a concept, a bond held above most others? 
It’s just not like that with Ravi and Anil. 
Ravi is only the eldest child by eighteen months. Not a huge age difference to begin with, and maybe once upon a time, Ravi would have felt some claim to the title of older brother. But then he spent much longer than eighteen months in a sort of suspended animation, while Anil’s life went on as planned. Or, maybe not as planned, but as far more normal than anything Ravi would get to experience. Eventually, they no longer resembled older and younger, but two children with similar faces from alien planets. There are some craters, once formed, that can never be filled. 
Ravi doesn’t hate Anil. He would like to, but he doesn’t. Though, he can’t quite say he loves him, either. He thinks his brother is far more deserving of the former than the latter, but the latter is far more in Ravi’s nature. So, instead, Ravi is stuck in this strange in-between place. He combats this purgatory by resolving to think of him as little as possible and seeing him only when necessary. He keeps him behind the closed pages of a dusty, ignored book. 
And it’s better for everyone that way. Really, it is. 
However, there is an inherent flaw with Ravi’s strategy. A disadvantage he will never be able to overcome. 
When you are the sibling wronged in quiet, when you are the sibling that deviates from what was expected of you, and who always seems to be the one making things difficult, and your younger brother is charismatic and charming, you are the problem.
Ravi is always the problem. 
And so he never wanted Anil to meet the 118.
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21 for ✉️:
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Eddie flips over one of the postcards and sees it. Something that surprises him, yet somehow makes a whole lot of sense. Buck’s handwriting. Buck’s name. And, at the top, naturally, the greeting, ‘Dear, Christopher.’
“What the…” Eddie trails off, baffled. 
He doesn’t understand. Buck has never mentioned any post cards. Neither has Chris. When did he write to him? He sorts through them. The address on each card is to Eddie’s parents’ house in El Paso. The dates are scattered across the summer. How did Eddie not know this was going on? Why wouldn’t Buck tell him? 
Eddie feels equal parts confused and betrayed; like Buck has kept a secret from him about his own kid. Except, that doesn’t really seem like Buck at all. Buck, who spent the whole summer supporting Eddie. Buck, who probably ruined a relationship with actual potential by spending so much time making sure Eddie never felt alone. That Buck wouldn’t do anything behind Eddie’s back when it comes to Chris. 
In search of an explanation for his bewilderment, Eddie commits a second violation of his son’s privacy. 
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27 for 🌿:
@goldenbcnes tagging you here!
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And the thing is, Howie is right. She should just call Evan. She could call him right now and ask if they can have a second take at that conversation so she can explain herself better and he can perhaps not level unfair accusations she suspects he doesn’t really mean. 
Except she knows she’s not going to do that. 
Her reasoning is a mixture of flaws of her own nature and self-righteous anger. Historically, Maddie has never been good at facing conflict head on. She’s like a dog that knows it isn’t scary, that knows it doesn’t have a lot of bite; she will try avoidance, appeasement, and running, before she tries anything else. Then there’s the anger. 
One time, at the women’s group in Boston, a therapist told Maddie that guilt and anger coexist in a vicious cycle. They feed each other. Guilt is such a horrid emotion to process; it’s painful and selfish and often challenges self perception. Anger is an easier alternative to guilt. It’s the refuge that takes the introspection off oneself in favor of fury. And yet, anger is such a horrid, consuming emotion, too. Too much anger is liable to make someone feel guilty, in its own time, if the source of the anger isn’t entirely to blame. 
Maddie is self-aware enough to feel that wheel spinning in her now. She feels badly about how that went. She is angry at Buck. She knows some of her anger should be directed inward. She feels guilt at her own anger. Around and around and around again. It’s enough to give her motion sickness. 
But Maddie has let guilt win out so many times in her life. It has been her predominant driver for so many decades of her life. She may be doing a hell of a lot better now than when she was younger, but the conflict still rattles her. 
This time, she doesn’t choose guilt.  “Evan can call me.”
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12 for 🌊:
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Beers at an arcade. Dinner at an upscale restaurant halfway to Houston that Buck swears is worth the drive. He’s right. Every minute of it feels easy, feels right. It feels like exactly where Eddie has been waiting to return to. 
How do you tell someone on your second date, just how badly you’ve missed them?
Eventually, it all leads back to where it began. Well, not exactly where it began. Not at the bar. Buck has made it clear that if they show up together there, his sister will tease him - not for Eddie being a man, but simply because he’s easy to tease. They’re holding off on that, for now. So, it ends up where it really began.
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12 for 🩸:
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Eddie is frightened. 
Of himself. Of what’s happening to him. Of the gaps in his memory. 
If time has passed, has someone contacted Christopher? Hello, we’re sorry to tell you your father put the only other parent figure in your life in the hospital, murdered his captain brutally, and fled both scenes. 
Have they told him Eddie is a monster?  He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t have anything he needs to survive. He’s completely alone. His brain is foggy and sore, like whatever fever he had on the night Kim killed him has never really left. He feels like someone has deposited him in some horrible labyrinth, fed him bath salts, and given him no plausible path to escape. But Eddie has to escape.
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9 for 🌌:
Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings here!
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Buck sighs. “I guess I don’t understand. Not like you’ve given me much of a chance to understand. But I haven't been where you are, Eddie. Before, I… I really didn’t know.”
Eddie swallows throat feeling like it’s been battered by salt water and sand. 
“But you know me,” Buck continues. “You know me better than anyone, Eddie. So you had to know, if you told me you needed time and space, that I would have given it to you.”
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karouvas · 11 months
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emily fields!
Emily Fields
okay the numbering on this looks very weird because I kept having to use extra spaces to get around the words per block of text limit and I’m kind of out of patience to fix it to look better lol so apologies but here is what I wrote for the meme
three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1. This is going off the canon detail that she really likes horror films but I like to think she developed that interest kind of alongside the A stuff happening (since I think it’s established in the middle seasons). And that she views them kind of in a Dru Blackthorn esque fashion where they’re less scary than her normal life and that makes them comforting in a way.. I don’t have an hc for what her favorite horror movie is because as we know I suck at watching films so I don’t feel like I have enough to go off even though when I do get myself to watch movies I do like horror … I do think she would watch yellowjackets and her favs would be Jackie and Nat and Van <3. And she has a love hate relationship with Shauna. 2. She and Mona made out in 2x19 during their secret rendezvous in the principle’s office to get the blackmail info. Because it pleases me to think that <3. 3. I think she has major abandonment issues between Alison and Maya dying and her dad’s constant absences and then his death post jump and I think it effects the way she approaches relationships throughout the series a lot.
a reason they suck: she can be prideful and stubborn and has commitment issues for days but I adore all those things about her tbh <3. In terms of things that really do bother me though her reaction when learning Maya is bi … really not good you could chalk it up to Pll writers biphobia and that would be true but I also do think there’s something there about ideas Emily’s internalized from growing up with Pam’s views combined with Alison’s behavior to her pre series that’s not an excuse for it just imo a possible explanation that makes sense for the character and her judgements.
a reason they are great: I mean there’s obvious stuff like her being a really kind and loyal and compassionate person and I do love all those things about her but they are pretty obvious so I won’t delve hardcore into explaining them, she’s a really good person. But I see there are being a lot more to her character at least from my perspective. She’s also a character who starts out with a lot of drive and ambition while it’s of a very different type to say Spencer or Aria or Mona’s ambition and she’s characterized as much quieter about it, and who deals with a lot of repressed anger as the series goes on and she experiences a lot of trauma which speaks to me in chars (don’t know what that says about me lol) and can be vmessy in an understated way that I generally enjoy… I love how hateful she gets sometimes lmao like they say she’s the sweet one but she can be fucking savage when a situation calls for it and I love that, there are small petty moments when she’s in a fight with someone that are really fun and then more serious examples with people who absolutely deserve her anger one of the best moments for this being put to use to it’s full potential when she’s the one to go up to Ezra in 4b after the 4x20 reveal to Aria and give him that speech that ends with “and can you make sure a real teacher gets this” I love herrr. Also love that she is a himbo lesbian icon tbh she’s so charming about it <3. She’s so charming in general… I love her
a reason I relate to them: oh I can relate to a fair amount about Emily lol a lot of her feelings about her sexuality in s1 are very real when I think of my teenage self or even my right now self, some things about her family life (in the show not in the books, book! Emily’s family life is… next level terrible omg one thing I am glad the show changed up dramatically). And I have some similar personality traits. I kind of can relate to specific facets of all the main Pll girls except Hanna and Alison in some way but Spencer and Emily the most I’d say
(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: ultimately Spencer/Emily has my heart the most although I do ship her with pretty much every woman of the main cast lol. But Spemily rules imo and it’s so my cup of tea dynamically (chars who seem like opposites (how Spencer is seen as uptight and a leader while Emily is seen as mellow and sweet) but are more similar when you look closely (at how they’re both perfectionists to please their family in different ways, leaders, fiercely loyal, stubborn prideful and competitive, that moment where Spencer says that she can see Emily is ambitious enough to want the team captain position as much or more than Paige does is such a great moment to me because of course Spencer would be the one to see that in Emily…), chars who clash intensely because of those traits but are also very tender with each other in moments that really count and have a lot of mutual respect) also ngl a factor is they’re both sooo pretty all the women on this show are gorgeous but they’re just insanely hot … and then for the ot3 a few dynamics have their moments but most consistently fun and interesting to watch for me is Spencer x Emily x Alison <33. I’ve mentioned before that I’m obsessed with the framing of Spencer and Emily clashing over different views of Ali in 4b and also late s1… also have made jokes before about how much Spencer hates all Emily’s girlfriends lmao (hate is an oversimplification because Spalison’s dynamic is very complex but. When it comes to Emily she doesn’t play lol). That’s specifically show-wise though books wise Emaria is my favorite ship for her I adored the way their friendship was depicted and it had shippy vibes a lot of the time, I ship them in the show too and when they get to interact one on one usually enjoy it a lot but it’s clear the writers didn’t care to focus on their individual dynamic as much as others, which is a shame. Tabby&Imogen’s dynamic on pllos actually to me is more similar to book Emaria in some respects…and I was into the Aria x Courtney x Emily stuff in Ali’s Pretty Little Lies and found that compelling.
five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1. consistently go to a therapist who isn’t just the liars counselor as much as I like Dr. Sullivan (this one would be the first for every liar) 2. She should have had an actual arc post time jump around grieving her dad… it’s absolutely criminal that we just get that scene of her at Wayne’s grave (which is one of Shay’s best scenes on the show imo) and a little lip service done to it in the first couple of episodes but not even a flashback to his funeral… a million Haleb Spaleb Spoby flashbacks a Jaria flashback but not one to one of your leads losing a parent it’s not an exact comparison because anti-blackness specifically was a different factor with how Bonnie was treated in TVD but since I just got to her dad’s introduction in my rewatch and it’s on my mind could kind of draw a parallel to how her losing a parent was a peripheral plot, we saw her reaction in one scene and then moved on to other magical factors involved with her being stuck on the other side vs Elena’s grief about her parents and Caroline’s arc around losing her mom in s6. Like it is telling that on both shows it’s the WoC who doesn’t get the same space for her storyline (different factors again because anti blackness re: Bonnie and homophobia in Pll but .. you get it). But anyway, post jump sets her up as being a much less put together char than pre jump Emily with the dropping out of school and not telling anyone etc. so delving into how unstablized she feels, the ways she might want to emulate her dad (I do think that shows up but not in a very intentional way) and actually letting us see the flashbacks to how this impacted her relationships instead of being told. I actually have had an idea for a while about a fic I’d like to write about this but haven’t felt like I had the time to actually write it although this is making me think about it/want to go back to it again… 3. I don’t think this is controversial Maya should not have died, and Emily’s love life… well that could have gone in different directions and I would have been happy she and Maya could’ve broken up for a while then gotten back together post time jump, or they could have done Emison but actually committed to exploring what’s interesting about Emison instead of the milquetoast end of series Emison, or both of those, if we’re sticking with her canon li’s. I’m not a huge fan of Paily but I wouldn’t necessarily want it to not exist because I think there is some interesting narrative stuff there about what it means to Emily to be Paige’s Alison, for want of a better word. But I do think a lot of their relationship content isn’t that interesting and would have liked it to not be the big ticket ship/soo prominent just based on personal preference. And I would have gotten rid of.. maybe not every girlfriend of the week because I do like that Emily’s a ladykiller but most of them were flops so I’d have gotten rid of a lot of them and/or made them less prevalent. And if I had full creative control I obviously would have wanted her to date Spencer or Hanna or Mona but that also goes more into things I’d change for the other liars so I didn’t include it here 4) her s3 arc (if Maya still dies) should have actually gotten to be about her grieving Maya and how that coincides with A trauma (especially given how brutal she got it in s2 between the carbon monoxide barn and the ointment-induced ulcer and everything, and Mona didn’t kill Maya/isn’t responsible for that but it happened in the same spiral) and not about the Nate mystery… and if there was going to be a plot about transference in grief (which I could totally be on board for!) it should have been with someone who wasn’t Nate… 5) no egg donation mystery plot that leads to weird rapey Emison baby plot … I realize like 4 of those were very obvious things that didn’t merit much explantation and one I ranted about a lot.
five people that character never fell in love with and why: I’ll go with the assumption that she’s only ever been in love with Maya Ali and Paige (yeah I think she did love Paige even if it was maybe a less intense type of love for her than some others and even if it isn’t my favorite dynamic outside of enjoying it as part of a psuedo triangle with Spencer or Ali at different points) when writing this out 1. Spencer - They do clash a lot, I think it would take the right situation for them to have a more stable approach to their dynamic. Alternately I could also see them in a totally unstable situation and getting together in the worst way possible and I would probably love it xd. 2. Hanna — I feel like they could have easily fallen in love if you removed other factors like their other li’s and separated dramas, even though Spemily is my favorite singular ship dynamic I do think Hanna and Emily are ultimately most compatable. 3. Mona — in another life… but in this one they’re too fixated on their blondes. They do have great chemistry the rare times they interact one on one imo and I do choose to believe they made out in 2x19 and that also contributes (aside from the other totally valid reasons) to Emily’s extreme hostility towards her later lol. 4. Jenna - Emily is consistently the most hostile to Jenna out of all the girls which I find interesting (Aria is consistently the most receptive/compassionate towards her which is interesting to me for different reasons) part of it is because she gets close to Toby before anyone I also think Emily is a prideful person who deeply dislikes feeling guilty (even though she has a guilt complex about a lot of things) so Jenna is a sore spot for her. I did always think their actresses had chemistry though. 5. Sara - I mean… there was very little there for me to dig into tbh but ultimately I think Emily saw Sara as a project to fix and needed that post dollhouse because she prefers to be the caretaker, and that’s how I view the relationship/why Emily was so into her when she’s… quite a blank slate before the reveal she’s evil lol. I also think there was potential for some interesting stuff about transference from Ali to Sara but it’s not really in the text especially since Sara doesn’t act much like Ali despite having a similar backstory.
thank you for asking!
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notnctu · 4 years
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backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club
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━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series
genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst  wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi​​​ ; @darkneogotmyback​​​ ; @im-lame-irl​​​ ; @p-mini​​​ ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck​​​ ; @saniahmichael​​ ; @jaehy9ngs​​​ ; @danyxthirstae01​​​ ; @jaehyunoos​​​ ; @pikijaemin​​​ ; @suhweo​​​ ; @yunoyeol​​​ ; @lanadreamie​​​ ; @ta3ilmoon​​​ ; 
a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):
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While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.
Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.
Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.
But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.
“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.
“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.
You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.
“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.
Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”
His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.
The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.
But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.
When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”
“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.
“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.
However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”
Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.
“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”
“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.
He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”
Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”
“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”
“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.
“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”
You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”
“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.
“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.
Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.
Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.
Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?
Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.
“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?
Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.
Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”
Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.
“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”
The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.
But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.
“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.
“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”
The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.
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Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.
“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.
“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.
Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.
Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.
You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.
Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.
You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.
“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating. 
“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.
His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.
You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.
“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.
“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”
You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”
Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.
One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.
“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”
Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.
The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.
He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.
While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.
“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.
“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.
“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.
“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.
“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.
“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.
The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.
But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.
No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.
This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”
“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.
“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.
“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.
“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”
“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.
“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”
It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart. 
Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.
In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.
“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.
“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.
“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?
“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.
“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.
“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.
“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.
“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”
“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”
“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.
You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.
Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well. 
However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.
“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.
“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.
And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.
“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.
“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.
His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.
Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”
“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.
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“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.
The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.
He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.
The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.
“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.
Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”
“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.
“No, you called me honey.”
Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”
Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.
This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.
“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.
Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”
The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.
“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.
“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”
Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.
Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”
Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.
“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.
“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.
“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.
“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.
“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”
“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.
He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.
“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.
“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.
“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.
It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.
“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”
“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.
“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.
Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.
Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.
But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.
“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.
“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.
“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.
“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.
“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.
Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.
Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”
“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.
“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.
“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.
Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.
“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”
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During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.
“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.
Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”
Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”
You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.
It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.
“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.
“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.
But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.
Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.
Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.
The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.
Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”
He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.
But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.
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You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.
Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.
His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”
“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.
Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”
You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.
“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”
He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.
“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”
“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.
His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.
“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.
“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”
“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”
Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.
Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”
All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”
“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.
“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.
“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.
“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.
“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.
“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.
He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.
He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.
You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.
He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don’t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.
“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.
“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.  
“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.
“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.
Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.
It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you. 
5K notes · View notes
elysianslove · 3 years
Note
ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)
omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 
HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 
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ANGEL ! — 
akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 
osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  
daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 
suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 
aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 
aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 
oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 
DOLL ! — 
matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 
atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 
kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 
kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye
oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 
SUNSHINE ! — 
hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 
tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((
kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 
BABY/BABE ! — 
atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 
bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 
iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 
hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 
daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 
nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 
MY LOVE ! —
akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 
sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 
tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 
kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 
BUNNY/PUPPY ! —
bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 
matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 
kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 
oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 
kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.
hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 
suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.
KITTEN ! — 
kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 
LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 
osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 
sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 
BAE ! —
hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 
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okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 
love u all mwah <3 
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catty-words · 4 years
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on the school dance fallout or, a thorough examination of the boys’ apologies to julie
full disclosure, i used to take serious issue with 1.06 for what it did to julie’s righteous anger in light of the boys letting her down, and my gripes haven’t fully gone away. but i have spent some time thinking on the fallout since my first (several) viewing(s) of the show and i finally noticed some emotionally nuanced storytelling that i needed time to come to appreciate. so, if you’ll indulge me another gif-filled meta post...
everyone knows that a good apology demonstrates an understanding of how you wronged the person you’re apologizing to, otherwise the words i’m sorry end up being fairly empty. and luckily for the boys, julie does a good job of immediately and effectively communicating her hurt feelings:
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the first part is directed at luke specifically as her main co-writer, while the rest is about how all three of them let her down. it couldn’t be more clear that the reason she’s so betrayed is that a) they’ve made her feel like julie and the phantoms is less important to them than sunset curve and b) they’ve failed to consider her point of view or empathize with how important the show was to her.
which is why singing sorry a bunch of times, though charming, leaves her unmoved. and it’s why booking another gig actually makes her angrier. a gig the boys have deemed important enough to show up for is not a present or an olive branch to her, it’s a slap in the face. and if the boys had actually been paying attention to what she’d said the night of the dance, they could have anticipated her reaction.
but they clearly haven’t listened, so they haven’t learned how to do better or make things right. which is why this is such an important beat in the scene in the studio:
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hounding julie to rejoin the band, even with such nice sentiments as “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we became ghosts”, does nothing to address how undervalued julie feels getting stood up because, as she points out above, their ability to do what they love is very limited without her. that makes her a powerful and essential member of the band, but it doesn’t prove that they care about her, julie, the person. and you can see in the reaction shot how the truth of her words lands for all of them.
their remorseful silence gives julie the opportunity to reiterate one of the points she made the night before, and it’s important to note which part of her hurt feelings she chooses to revisit.
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the fact that they made the choice to pay more attention to their old music in spite of the music they were creating together is the thing that hurt her feelings the most. and, of course, her open hostility and her imagined reasons for why the boys picked sunset curve over julie and the phantoms (i.e. selfishness) puts luke on the defensive and ends with everyone leaving the scene dissatisfied.
great! okay, so here’s the part that’s bugged in the past (and the present, just. a little less so.) — in their attempt to deescalate the situation, alex and reggie give julie, and the audience, the all-important luke backstory. but like asking julie to rejoin the band with a shinier gig than a school dance flies in the face of actually making amends, so, too, does asking julie to empathize with luke’s emotional journey when the boys failed to take julie’s into account when they hurt her. only this time, it works as an olive branch.
now, i’m not saying that julie’s acting out of character in being sympathetic to luke’s pain, quite the opposite is the case. and i’m also not saying it’s bad that she does find sympathy for his situation — again, i’d argue that the opposite is true. it’s just, at the same time, it’s not a good look to force aside the young woman of color’s hurt in service of the white dude who hurt her feelings in the first place’s tragic backstory. the narrative is asking julie not to be mad at the choices luke made in the past two episodes because he’s really sad, actually.
and sure that’s an ungracious read of the moment, but i stand by the fact that it’s present in the text of the episode all the same, even with a little more nuance than i’m currently giving it credit for.
all that being said, alex and reggie do a bit to win back this highly insensitive maneuver with another stab at an apology.
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alex addresses julie’s comment about them knowing “how tough it’s been for her to play” by reiterating that not showing up let her down and they get that that’s a crappy way to feel, while reggie takes a crack at julie’s “our songs were good” by emphasizing that they all love being in a band and making music with her. it’s a slight step up from their sorry in the garage, but not a complete fix because they’re all still sitting with the fact that they need julie to make the most of their music and how that complicates their declarations of loyalty.
the thing that makes this attempt at reconciliation different than those prior, of course, is this line:
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the acknowledgement that things haven’t been fixed + the politeness + the implication that they’re willing to put in the time to earn her trust back so long as she lets them makes the apology a good enough one to accept. well, that, and:
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one gets the sense that if rose could actually speak to julie in that moment, she’d be reminding her the value of grace. and, of course, we know that this also serves as a reminder to julie that good things are fleeting, loss is around every corner, and holding close what you care about is important. so she does just that by letting go of her (righteous, righteous) anger and reuniting the band.
still, even though alex and reggie have had their chance to make amends, luke doesn’t get the same moment to show he’s actually paid attention to julie’s needs in 1.06. so, naturally, he starts immediately in their first scene together in 1.07. 
i mentioned in my exhaustive list for “finally free” that julie picking a sunset curve song for their reunion number is a lovely, understated way for her acknowledge luke’s lost musical legacy, and i have similar feelings about the fact that luke suggests “edge of great” for their follow-up gig. it’s his first step in proving to her that he does care about the music they’ve written together with actions instead of empty apologies and misguided gestures.
by the end of the episode, though, the three of them take a step back (reggie gets points for his being, like, half a step) when they learn that, in addition to letting down julie, one of the consequences of their night chasing revenge is a ticking clock on their existence.
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though i understand the urge to protect julie from the alarming news that their power is going out, there’s also a lot of selfishness behind the decision. julie loses them in the end no matter what, but lying to her about it and planning to leave without an explanation shows a disregard for her emotional journey in a similar way standing her up did. in fact, this plan is basically to stand her up for eternity. not cool, guys.
naturally, since it’s luke who’s the one proposing the terrible plan and it’s luke who never officially demonstrated his understanding of how he hurt julie’s feelings by not showing up when it mattered, it’s fitting that he’s suddenly more in tune with his own feelings. and, with that, comes a new awareness of how his and julie’s feelings interact, starting with this moment in 1.08.
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you can see his conflict over her declaration. she’s worried without knowing just how much there is to be worried about, and that makes him sad because it’s confirmation of the fact that he’s important to her. that losing him will mean a lot of pain for her. but instead of cluing her in, he makes a conscious choice to continue withholding the information of his imminent departure. and maybe it’s such a weak deflection because he’s already starting to come to terms with how unfair he’s being to her, but even so, he’s not being a good friend when julie is showing up for him in big, unexpected ways he’d never even thought to ask for.
and again, here — 
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— just after they’ve acknowledged that there’s a something and not a nothing between them, you can see him sober with the thought that she doesn’t know they’re about to lose each other. but it’s still not enough to move him to share. maybe because he prefers that she live with the possibility of that something when he no longer can, maybe because he’s too caught up in his own feelings about how crappy this hand they’ve been dealt by the universe is. but in any case, he keeps tight-lipped.
UNTIL.
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it’s seeing her excited about a future their music can’t have that finally pushes him into coming clean. and i love how subtly this demonstrates that he has been paying attention, actually, and he knows that what hurt julie the most was the feeling that their music took a backseat to his past. if he crosses over without telling her the whole, ugly truth about the mistake he made by standing her up, then he crosses over stuck in that mistake. because part of that whole, ugly truth is the beautiful realization that no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you. and he’s not quite at that particular aspect of his truth yet — he still has to experience the what if of caleb’s club to be able to make the declaration with the conviction he does — but when he finally does tell her that and means it, she’s given the catharsis she’s needed since the dance. because he’s backing up his apology with action (i.e. being willing to literally no longer exist instead of making music with someone else) and providing her with the same consideration she showed him when she rejoined the band because his loss felt more important than her anger. and reaching that level of give and take in their relationship, physically represented in their hug, finally sets them free.
so, yes. even though 1.06 is clunky and a little tasteless at times, i can acknowledge that the story manages to win any missteps back. quite poetically, honestly. all’s forgiven.
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kookingtae · 4 years
Text
falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW
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pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7
→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.
→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)
→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!
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Jungkook could never face Y/N again.
God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?
Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.
But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.
He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.
Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.
But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.
He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.
As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—
Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.
He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.
While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.
He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.
“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.
It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.
Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.
She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”
The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.
And so he stopped fighting.
“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.
Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.
“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.
“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.
Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.
And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.
Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?
The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.
He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.
At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.
Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.
He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.
The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.
It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.
“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”
He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?
She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”
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As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.
You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.
But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.
“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.
Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”
“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”
You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.
“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”
You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”
Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.
A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.
You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.
But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.
Unless…
Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?
Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.
“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”
And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.
If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.
You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.
“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
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I'd love more from your deaging NHS AU verse! Maybe little NHS hanging out more with WWX? Or little NHS meeting JC? Or getting spoiled by JYL?
sequel to Little (deaging NHS - need to read that first)
Hosting another sect leader was both a burden and a privilege.
The burden was mostly logistical – although they’d reclaimed the Lotus Pier, they hadn’t managed to fix it all back up, and it was one thing for all of them to be living in a state more fit for wild bandits than a Great Sect but another thing entirely for them to let someone else see them do so.
Jiang Cheng couldn’t do everything himself, even if he was trying to, so Jiang Yanli stepped up to assist: she turned the kitchens into something livable, requisitioned disciples and laborers to focus on the main hall and the guest rooms, supervised the hiring of those who did the laundry and removed waste, all the important things needed to make their home an inviting one, as long as you were careful to only look at the main parts and not the rest.
Luckily, their guest was Nie Mingjue, not any of the other sect leaders, and he didn’t care. That was, Jiang Yanli suspected, the only reason that Jiang Cheng hadn’t had a full-on heart attack as the date of the man’s approach arrived.
Sure enough, he arrived with as little fanfare as possible, greeted them politely, and promptly sequestered himself, his younger brother, and his chief disciples into a room with Jiang Cheng to discuss sect business. By the time they emerged for dinner, Jiang Cheng looked worn out but immensely pleased, they’d signed a half-dozen treaties, and Jiang Yanli had enough food to feed a small army waiting for them. A good thing, too, since apparently the Nie ate like they’d been starving the week before their meal. Even Nie Huaisang made the food in front of him vanish at lightning-quick speed, and he didn’t even have the build to explain away where all of it was going.
By far the most interesting aspect of it for Jiang Yanli, however, was that Wei Wuxian had made an appearance.
This was something of a rarity recently. Something about the war had hurt him, deeply, and that reason, or for whatever reason, he was very obviously avoiding Jiang Cheng – and, as a result, neglecting the duties that ought to be his as chief disciple. Jiang Yanli knew that it was unintentional, that he still cared for both her and Jiang Cheng, for the sect. But it didn’t make it any easier for them that rather than helping them, he instead spent his days skulking around wine shops, and nothing either of them said seemed to make any difference.  
Both she and Jiang Cheng had already resigned themselves to Wei Wuxian snubbing the Nie sect entirely, but to their mutual surprise he was there with a smile that Jiang Yanli hadn’t seen in weeks, boisterous and loud and trying to steal some of the plates of Nie Huaisang’s food whenever the other man turned to say something to Jiang Cheng. Without success, since being notoriously poor at any martial skill did not keep Nie Huaisang from effectively slapping away Wei Wuxian’s wandering fingers without even looking.
He even volunteered to show them around Yunmeng the next morning – meaning a walk by the river, since the Lotus Pier itself was largely not showable in its current condition – and Jiang Cheng agreed to the idea with no little relief, since he needed some time to get the treaties filed and implemented.
“I didn’t know you two had gotten so close to the Nie sect during the war,” Jiang Yanli murmured to Jiang Cheng, who rubbed his face in exhaustion and joy.
“I think it’s because it’s a reminder of happier days, with Nie Huaisang?” he said hesitantly. “Maybe? Anyway, can you make sure they get snacks along with their tea this evening? Chifeng-zun said he was full when he finished his plate, but Nie Huaisang was definitely eying his neighbor’s bowl longingly at the end there.”
Jiang Yanli hid a smile with her hand. “Of course, A-Cheng. Leave it to me.”
She made an entire pot of soup, plus a handful of side dishes, and brought up the portion to the rooms set aside for the main Nie sect herself. It wasn’t just to give them face, though of course that was important given that the Nie were their most important allies barring maybe the Jin sect – it ought to be the Jin sect, but they were playing games with it, and certain overtures by Madame Jin had led Jiang Cheng to speculate that they hoped to finalize the revival of the engagement between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan that Jin Guangshan had unilaterally raised not long ago before agreeing to provide any actual aid.
They hadn’t yet decided if it was worth playing the game back, hinting and implying and leaving themselves wiggle room in case Jiang Yanli really didn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan in the end; luckily, this visit by the Nie sect would put off the necessity of that for a good while. Maybe even for good, depending on how good some of those trading contracts were, and Jiang Cheng’s expression gave Jiang Yanli some hope.
Still, despite the absolutely critical importance of the relationship, that wasn’t why Jiang Yanli decided to go act the part of a servant personally.
Instead, she was hoping to use the opportunity see if she could get some insight into whatever they’d done to make Wei Wuxian smile like that, and to see if she could replicate it.
She wasn’t expecting to hear Wei Wuxian’s voice from the guest quarters they’d assigned to the Nie sect.
Not only because it was a little too late for any visit to be appropriate, but because Wei Wuxian had been avoiding the Jiang clan rooms for – rather a while, now. He wasn’t even sleeping in his own bedroom.
And yet – here he was.
Talking like a child.
Jiang Yanli’s heart stopped briefly in her chest when she heard the familiar whine Wei Wuxian liked to adopt when he was playing as A-Xian: it had always been their special game, her favorite way to indulge her mischievous little brother who sometimes liked to be fed and hugged and tucked in at night, and she would have sharp words for anyone who dared criticize it. But – in front of another sect leader –
“A-Xian, stop,” Nie Mingjue’s deep voice said firmly, his amusement audible even through the door. “Give Huaisang the toy back.”
“But da-ge,” Wei Wuxian whined, even though Nie Huaisang’s laugh made clear that he had handed back whatever toy they were talking about. “Why does he get to have the toy and I don’t?”
“I brought you three toys, you brat, and Huaisang only has one. Not everything is for sharing; some things are yours and yours alone.”
Jiang Yanli reflected briefly on the differences in child-rearing techniques between the sects – if it had been Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, she would have encouraged Jiang Cheng to share, and instructed Wei Wuxian to share in return – before realizing that Nie Mingjue was reacting to Wei Wuxian’s nonsense with extraordinary calmness. Almost as if he’d dealt with it before.
Almost as if he accepted it.
Jiang Yanli steeled her spine and knocked.
“I brought some snacks, Sect Leader,” she called.
There was a brief moment of quiet – some brief murmuring in low voices – but at last he said, “Enter,” and she did.
Wei Wuxian was sitting on the floor with his face buried in Nie Mingjue’s thigh, Nie Mingjue’s hand petting through his hair in a calming gesture; behind them, a small child of around seven, dressed in oversized Nie robes, lolled around on his stomach, his legs kicked up in the air, as he toyed with some puzzle game. Jiang Yanli hadn’t realized the Nie sect had brought along a child – one certainly hadn’t been present at dinner – but under the circumstances she opted not to comment.
“I thought you might still be hungry,” she said with a smile. “So I made some snacks, and soup.”
“Soup!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, lifting his head to reveal red cheeks. “Da-ge, you have to try shijie’s soup!”
“I intend to,” Nie Mingjue said. He was looking at Jiang Yanli thoughtfully. “Would you care to join us, Mistress Jiang?”
“I’d be happy to,” Jiang Yanli said, though she’d originally intended no such thing, and settled down to serve it out. “Thank you for taking care of A-Xian.”
“It’s nothing,” Nie Mingjue said. “A charming child, and one that speaks very highly of you. You must be very proud.”
“I am,” she agreed, and from the corner of her eye saw all the tension drain out of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders at her affirmation of their game. He scrabbled over to her side, abruptly affectionate, and cuddled up. “A-Xian, no! I need that hand to serve the soup. Didn’t you just say that you want Nie-da-ge to have some?”
Wei Wuxian pouted, but withdrew his sticky tentacles. The child on the bed laughed again and rolled over and up to his feet, hopping over to where Wei Wuxian was. “Wei-xiong can play with me while we wait.”
“Okay,” Wei Wuxian agreed at once. “We can play tag!”
“Don’t break anything,” Jiang Yanli said, and discovered to her amusement that Nie Mingjue had said the same exact thing at the same exact moment. He smiled crookedly at her, very briefly – his expression was not one usually given for smiling, typically stern and grim even when it was neutral, and the expression made him look suddenly younger.
“Younger siblings,” he said, an explanation and an excuse, and abruptly Jiang Yanli knew who the child must be. She didn’t know how it was that Nie Huaisang had physically regressed into childhood, as well as doing so emotionally the way Wei Wuxian did, but she supposed it didn’t really matter.
“Yes,” she said, and smiled back at him. “A-Xian likes it when I feed him his meals. Does…?”
Nie Mingjue shook his head. “Huaisang is very proud,” he said, voice fond. “He wouldn’t accept that sort of help from me, though perhaps he might accept it from you if he sees A-Xian getting a treat.”
“Children that age can be very jealous of each other,” Jiang Yanli agreed. “It’s a good thing that A-Xian is five today, so he can play with his friend, and not three. Maybe he can be three another time.”
“I must admit I haven’t noticed much difference so far,” Nie Mingjue remarked. “He’s still always clamoring for hugs.”
“Da-ge gives the best hugs,” Nie Huaisang said loyally.
Wei Wuxian looked a little shifty, but Jiang Yanli nodded at him supportively and he smiled. “They’re really good, shijie,” he confided in her. “He can pick me up!”
Jiang Yanli’s smile broadened, even as Nie Mingjue’s shoulders went up a little in embarrassment.
“We’re all good at different things,” she assured him. “Nie-da-ge is good at hugs, but I bet I’m better at doing your hair, right?”
“Yes! Shijie’s the best!”
“I want my hair done by Jiang-jiejie,” Nie Huaisang declared, eyes avid. “Can I?”
“After we eat,” Nie Mingjue said. “And only if you ask very nicely, and Mistress Jiang says yes.”
“I’ll say yes,” she said, and then, as an aside to Nie Mingjue, added, “You can call me Jiang-meimei if you like. If I’m calling you Nie-da-ge and all.”
He smiled again.
At some point, Jiang Yanli would need to examine how exactly Wei Wuxian had ended up taking Nie Mingjue as one of his caretakers, as well as how Nie Huaisang managed a full-fledged bodily transformation – and they’d need to bring Jiang Cheng in on this, somehow, even though he was neither caretaker nor little, simply because he would be jealous at being left out. And there was still Wei Wuxian’s unusual behavior, his inexplicable distance from all of them…
But that was a problem for later.
For now, they could just be there for them.
178 notes · View notes
kariachi · 2 years
Text
Oh look, a third chunk for that Osmobeast vegas au.
The men, they plan.
~~
“Supposed to head home day after tomorrow,” Kevin said as it dawned on him that if they’d ever talked about how long either was going to be in town, he couldn’t remember it. At first he didn’t get a response, Gar just quietly continuing to toy with his hair.
“Do you have to?” Not technically. He had shit scheduled for when he got back, things that would have to be rescheduled or cancelled. He missed Zed. People would want explanations and he wasn’t in the mood to get lectured a million different times. But there was nothing so important he couldn’t stay a while longer.
“I won’t have a room.”
“Okay...” Gar dropped his hair, draping himself over his back and resting his cheek on his shoulder. “But I will until Wednesday.” It was a nice room. View of the Strip, easily the better of the two beds, Kevin was very much appreciating that.
“The coffee here’s shit though.” Snorting, Gar swatted at his arm as they fell into laughing together. “Don��t wanna presume.”
“What, that your fiancé’ll let you room with him for a few days?”
“You’re the one who was worried about making sure we didn’t just say fuck it and elope anyway.” Not that he’d disagreed, he was fairly certain if he came back married half his social circle would kill him and that was the best-case scenario, but still. The plan the night before had been to try to take things somewhat slow.
“Yeah, well, that was before I woke up with no you.” Kevin buried his face in his pillow in an endeavor to hide the blush he felt bursting over his face. Gar had to be making an effort to be charming, there was no way anybody just said shit like that. His own endeavor seemed to fail, Gar chuckling and ghosting a kiss over his ear.
“Given it’s a several hour drive between us,” Kevin said, “you’re gonna have to get used to that sooner or later.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t try to hold it off as long as possible.” Gar nuzzled his shoulder. “You can stay here or I can leave with you, but I’d have to cancel my flight out and stuff.”
“Oh, well, if it’ll keep you from having to cancel your flight, I guess I could stay here.” Forcing back the blush as best he could, Kevin turned his head to exchange smiles with Gar. “It’ll make up for only getting part of tomorrow with you. Was planning on hitting a few museums, but I’ve got a reservation at a race track I definitely can’t get you on.” Humming, Gar started fiddling with his hair again.
“What sort’ve museums?”
“Hollywood Cars and the State Railroad Museum. Maybe the Mob Museum.” He was eternally undecided on that one, it seemed like the sort’ve thing he should bring his mom and Argit to if he was gonna check it out.
“Not really my thing,” Gar said, “but okay.” Kevin’s smile slipped a bit. No no no, no ‘but okay’s, not for his Gar.
“You don’t have to come along,” he said, “I’d love to have you, but if you’re gonna just be bored… I’m sure you had your own plans.”
“Yeah, but now I want to do them with you.” Fuck, that was too sweet. Not helped by how cutely his nose scrunched when he was thinking. “Do you like The Hunger Games?” Well, that was a question.
“Movies were okay, but I preferred the books.” Gar nodded.
“Okay, so you’d be fine if I called first thing in the morning, see about changing my reservation for the exhibition they’ve got to tomorrow?”
“Fine with me.” It made Gar happy, not a problem.
“Alright. So, can do that, this place has it’s own little strip mall so I can wander there a while-” Wait, what?
“Something is wrong with the hotels in this city.”
“Tell me about it.” With a chuckle, Gar smiled wider. “I can hit up the pool for a while and then when you’re done with your museums and stuff we can go grab some dinner together. Sound like a plan?” That certainly was a plan. Kevin considered it for a bit.
“If I say fuck the Mob Museum,” he said, “we could probably fit something else in before dinner, if you want. I’ve been iffy on it anyway.”
“Supposedly the Flamingo’s got a whole little area with exotic birds we could go walk around,” he said with a hum, “build up an appetite. Then we grab dinner somewhere, go back to your hotel, pack your shit in the morning and come back here.” That could work. Sounded great.
“And since I don’t have anything else planned, the rest of the vacation’s on you.” Gar’s smile turned into a grin that had his stomach flopping.
“I’ve got a ticket for Omega Mart on Monday, should be able to get you one too…” He swatted Kevin’s arm. “And I was hoping to do an escape room sometime Tuesday or Wednesday, you are going to carry my ass!” Kevin snorted.
“I’ll do my best,” he laughed, choosing not to mention he’d already checked the Omega Mart out already. No spoilers. “Were you looking for a specific one, or…?”
“Not really.” Gar shrugged. “I couldn’t decide. Hopefully between the two of us we can figure something out.”
“Worst comes to worst, we grab one at random and hope it doesn’t kill it.”
“Fingers crossed.” With a small noise Gar stretched and yawned, setting Kevin stretching and yawning as well. “Fuck, is it that late?”
“Could be, or you’re just old.” Snorting, Gar pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Kevin’s mouth.
“It’s a one year difference, you menace.” While Kevin laughed at him, he returned to his side of the bed, reaching for his phone. “Room service here lets you pre-order breakfast, wanna give it a shot before we head to bed?” Kevin rolled over as Gar settled in, shifting around until he could comfortably slip under his arm, lounging against his side, head on his shoulder. Was it the most comfortable thing ever? No. Did he care? Also no, Gar made up for it.
“Sure, what have they got besides asshole coffee?”
11 notes · View notes
1101001 · 3 years
Text
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE _
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‘ when high school ended, your relationship with oikawa did too. years later, something you didn’t want to call fate led you to each other on the sandy shores of a beach in brazil ’
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character .. oikawa tooru 
word count .. 1.3k
tags .. exes (but not rlly 'to lovers’) , no pronouns used , possible timeskip spoilers? but nothing explicitly stated , uhh fluff-ish , written for @itskoushi​ <3
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You choked on your drink, turning your head to the side in futile hopes that it would hide your face. Why of all places and all times was he here, at a beach in Rio de Janeiro? Maybe it wasn’t him though, maybe it was just your eyes playing tricks on you.
You peered carefully over your friend’s head for another look. It definitely was him.
“Y/n, are you okay?” 
You nodded hastily, ignoring the suspicious look your friend was giving you. 
“Right, do you wanna come down to the beach with me?” she asked, pointing to the mob of people in bikinis and trunks walking around under the bright hot Brazilian sun. “Seems someone caught your eye too.”
There was a glint in her eye and before she could drag you with her, you shook your head, “No, I think I’ll stay here…”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She got up and muttered a ‘boring’ before turning and disappearing into the crowd.
Not two seconds after she left, the very person you were hoping to avoid appeared right behind you.
“Look who we have here.” His voice was sweet like honey, and you had to steel yourself against it before turning around and facing him.
“Hello to you too Oikawa.”
Oikawa Tooru, a boy (now man) who caused you massive amounts of internal conflict. Did you miss him and his chocolate brown eyes and perfectly tousled hair and seemingly carefree exterior? 
Maybe you did, but before you could fall into the trap that is Oikawa’s charm, you reminded yourself that you've already been down that path.
“Thought it was you,” he said, lips curving into a slight smirk. He leaned one arm against the bar table and you suddenly noticed how much muscle he’s built since you last saw him. “So what brings you to this lovely beach?”
You took a long sip from your drink, trying to look everywhere but him for fear of accidentally staring too long. “It was a business trip but now I’m just relaxing.”
From the background, a couple of people were starting to shout for Oikawa. He turned towards them and yelled, “GIMME A SEC,” before turning back to you and asking, “Hey uh are you up for some beach volleyball?”
You raised an eyebrow.
“There’s this small tournament and I’m the only one without a partner.”
It was a very sudden offer and you were hesitant to accept. Volleyball? At the beach? With your ex no less.
It didn’t seem like the best idea.
“Cmon I know you’re good,” Oikawa pleaded.
You were still hesitant, but the thought of playing volleyball again made your hands and arms itch. It seems you missed it more than you thought. 
“Fine,” you said taking one last sip of your drink before grabbing your things and hopping out of your seat. The two of you made your way over to the nets set up on the sand and Oikawa led you to a table to register.
“Have you ever played beach volleyball?” Oikawa asked as he grabbed a ball and tossed it to you.
You lightly set it back to him. “No, and I haven’t played normal volleyball for quite a while either.”
“That’s fine,” Oikawa replied, once again tossing the ball back to you. “It’s a just-for-fun competition anyway.”
And that just-for-fun competition was a lot more intense than you expected. Beach volleyball, you quickly learned, is very different from normal volleyball. Running around on the sand wasn’t exactly easy and being on the same side of the net as Oikawa, although you tried to ignore it, was giving you weird and very annoying butterflies. 
Instead of it being a terrible experience like it should’ve been though, you found yourself relishing the adrenaline that came with the feel of the ball on your hands. 
You and Oikawa made for a great team too. The two of you barely exchanges words but knew what the other meant every time. That combined with each of your own individual talent and skill made you a deadly combo and easily a favorite for the win.
And you might’ve won too, had you been able to continue playing.
You gritted your teeth as you struggled to stand up after an unsuccessful dive. Suddenly, Oikawa was there by your side, extending a hand and helping you up. 
“You ok there?” 
Honestly, no. Your ankle hurt like hell from how you dived into the sand just moments ago. The unevenness of the ground really wasn’t something to underestimate. 
“Uh my ankle hurts a bit,” you muttered. 
“By a bit you mean it hurts enough you can’t play anymore right?”
You looked away and nodded lamely. You’d like to think you changed since high school but it seems he still knew you too well.
“Ok, let's get you to a clinic then.”
By then, the referee and a few other people had gathered around. Oikawa quickly announced your withdrawal from the tournament and led you off the court.
“Can you walk?” he asked, extending a hand to steady you as you got up. 
“I think so,” you replied before taking one step and immediately realizing this was going to be a slow and painful walk to the clinic. 
But you gritted your teeth through the pain and, with Oikawa next to you, hobbled off. You eventually found a way to angle your feet against the sand to minimize pain so it wasn’t too bad.
Although this way was much more bearable pain-wise, it was slow, so slow that Oikawa suggested he just carry you to the clinic.
“No thanks,” you said, gritting your teeth as you forced your legs to move faster.
“Y/n please. You’re slower than a snail.”
You stopped and sighed, a sign he took as you agreeing apparently because he immediately grabbed your legs and lifted you bridal style almost effortlessly.
You were about to protest but the words died away as he looked down at you with a smile.
That smile.
Suddenly, you were a teenager at Aoba Johsai again, walking through its crowded hallways, passing Oikawa and a few of his fangirls trailing behind him. He flashed that same smile at you he had now and your heart skipped a beat. 
“Let’s just hope your ankle isn’t messed up too badly yeah?” His voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you responded with a simple ‘yeah’.
Your mind, at the moment, was focusing on other things. Not the way he carried you without a hint of tiredness on his face. Not the way your arms were intertwined around his neck. Not the way his hair bounced with every step he took, or the way his eyes glittered in the sunlight, or the way you could feel his heartbeat against you.
No, your mind was racing because even though this was hardly your most intimate moment, you felt ‘the feeling’.
Maybe you were caught up in it all. That was a very plausible and realistic explanation for why you were feeling what you were feeling right now. But as you two approached the clinic and he urged the nurses to care for you, your mind wandered.
Maybe he was just being a decent human being. Yes, of course, that was what he’s doing - being nice. The way he held your hand through it all made it seem like he was being more than just nice.
Maybe there was something more. When he looked at you, sheepish grin and concerned eyes, you couldn’t help but feel it.
You were getting carried away. It definitely seemed like you were. But you couldn’t think of anything wrong with the flutters in your chest. Sure the breakup wasn’t the smoothest but that was when you were young and going separate paths.
He might not even be feeling all that you were right now, but you gave yourself a sliver of hope because maybe he was.
And maybe, just maybe, a second try would be worth the while.
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. . .
note .. NINI HI IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE BUT HAPPY FVKING belated BIRTHDAY !!! i know how much you love this trope and how much you love oiks soooo *holds this out to you like cake on a platter* ... not much slowburn tho sorry (i would but by the time i finish it’ll be ur next birthday sdkjghs) right anyway,,, hope you like it and again,, happy belated birthday <33
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bokettochild · 3 years
Note
Request: something with the doppels please?
I headcannon the dopples as being Legend's deviants in a similar way that the Colors are for Four, so that's reflected here.
I came up with this a while ago though, and while I'm not fully satisfied with it, I thought it would be fun to explore how the dopples react to the Four Sword.
Hence, Color and Dopple bonding/meeting!
If the item they grabbed in order to help someone else could not be cursed for once, Legend would be very thankful.
But since when did things ever go his way?
...Their way?
You know what, when did things ever go as planned? There, pronouns don’t matter this way.
Not that the pronouns really change much, they just become... plural...
Four would very much not like to believe their eyes.
No really, please, make this not be real.
There are four Legends; four of him, and the Four Sword has been split.
Sure, the enemies that sprung on the two of them while they were gathering kindling are now dead. Sure, Legend protected them when the attack had caught them both off guard. And yeah, all five of them are now bleeding and injured, but why does it need to be five?
Because Legend’s sword was knocked away. Vio reminds the rest of them. Because our sword was the closest at hand and he needed a weapon.
Picking it up shouldn’t trigger it though, it needs force, it needs power pushing through it to activate. Blue grumbles.
And what do you think Legend does with his sword usually? None of his items are exactly normal if you recall.
Blue huffs at that, but no one says anything else, Red is too busy cheering at having more brothers while Green is currently weighing the pros and cons of Legend knowing the secrets of the Four Sword.
In all honesty though, the vet is taking it rather well.
“Seriously,” The red Legend sighs, looking at his alternate selves and then at the Four. The man doesn’t even ask for an explanation, he’s just burying his head in his hands. “Of course, of course this happens.”
“Aaand that’s why it’s called the Four Sword.” the green Legend sighs, looking at the blade he still holds in his hands with a slight smirk.
“I’d wondered if it was fully capable yet.” Blue Legend hums. “I suppose it only needed some power to unlock it’s abilities.”
The last of the four Legend’s sits frozen, shining gaze locked on Four for a brief moment as they look back at him. It doesn’t last long. They aren’t sure how or why, but this deviant is smaller than Legend, and the second that they make any move towards their split companion, the yellow deviant squeaks and ducks behind the green one, bright eyes shining with absolute horror.
“Hello,” The blue deviant peers around his brother in confusion. “There’s a forth one?”
“Four Sword.” The red deviant grumbles. “It implies that there would be four.”
“There was never four before.” The green one muses, looking behinds himself with a cocked brow. “And none of us was that fearful.”
“You okay?” It’s clear Legend’s blue isn’t the same violently minded variant as Four has, in fact, he seems something more like Vio or Green, calm and observant, but not altogether unattached from the world.
“How-” The golden variant whispers, eyes still not leaving Four as the younger looking Legend stares out from behind his other deviant. “You’re dead!”
They pause, confusion on their face as they take in the uneasy way that Legend’s variants look at each other.
“You’re dead, you’re dead, YOU’RE DEAD!” The deviant shrieks, frenzied and frightened in a way they’ve never seen Legend before, hands gripping tightly to his counterpart as he stares at the Four-Who-Are-One with a manic sort of terror, confusing them and setting his brothers ill at ease.
What does this...child, intend by his words? Is it a threat? Is it a dream, a hallucination? Splitting can mess with the mind, especially for first timers, is this part of Legend just insane somehow?
“I killed you!” There are tears in the golden one’s eyes, and he continues to quake behind his counterpart as the other three exchange looks of recognition.
“Kid, calm down.” Red starts, brash and uncertain.
“That’s Four.” Blue adds.
“He’s our friend.” Green soothes, oozing charm and charisma that reminds them of Warriors.
“They tried to kill us.” Goldie whispers, clutching even tighter at the tunic in front of him.
“Um...no?” Blue is taking the forefront of their own mind, but Red holds him back from being too violent. Even so, their own variants know better than to push at something so fragile. The golden variant of Legend is like the metal he’s colored after, delicate and so easy to break, too harsh a movement or action will snap him in two, and they aren’t ready to deal with that split, not when Legend is already in four pieces!
“Ignore him, please.” The red Legend sighs, rubbing at his face in a tired manner, and when they look closely it’s easy to see that this variant received the burden of Legend’s eyebags- his tunic and cap may be red, but the bruises beneath his eyes are a dark purple that make the vet’s own gaze seem near black in comparison.
“It’s a slight mix up.” The green one adds, kneeling down beside his counterpart with an assuring smile that they have only ever seen directed at the youngest of their number, and even then, most of the time it’s meant for Hyrule.
The Blue, Red and Green deviants all stare at each other, eyes flicking silently and expressions twisting for a moment before there’s sighing from the Blue and Red, and the two of them stand and make their way over to Four.
“Let’s give them some space.” Red sighs, “Kid’ll be freaking out for a hot second yet.”
They can’t help the suspicious raise of their brows. “You do realize he’s part of you, right?”
The two Legends exchange another look before looking back to him.
“Not exactly.”
“He,” Red Legend jabs a thumb over his shoulder, “Is supposed to be dead.”
Four would like a moment to scream please.
“What do you mean?” Red takes control as a panicked glance is shot over to the small-Legend. “He’s part of you!”
“Part of us that died.”
“We’ve been split before.”
“Albeit in a different way.”
“There wasn’t four of us to choose from.”
“Not with our soul already divided.”
“The Four Sword had to dig up something that wasn’t there anymore.”
“It was either us or the blade.”
Four has been split for the last six years and even they don’t do this. “Why are you talking like that?” They hiss, looking between the two forms of their friend. Blue is screaming inside and Red is shivering, Vio is demanding answers and Green is contemplating the possibilities of learning to do this themselves, all of which at once makes for a very busy head and no space to process much of what was just said.
“Practice.” The two Legends echo, nodding en tandem.
“Like we said,” Red sighs again. “This isn’t the first split for us.”
“First time we’ve become four.”
“But not the first split in general.”
Four looks between them, curiosity winning out over shock as Vio takes the lead. “Explain.”
And they do. As it turns out, the fabled sixth adventure of the hero of Legend resulted in his mind being divided amidst three separate bodies, each of which took on a few of his qualities as their main attributes, but, for the most part, remained distinctly Legend.
“It’s not a clear divide.” Blue Legend explains. “We share memories, can speak with each other via a link of our minds, and in general we act like we would when together.”
“Some traits are stronger though.” Red Legend adds on.
The red variant, Crimson, it turns out, is Legend’s exhaustion and irritability. He’s the frustration and stress and takes the brunt of their experiences. The blue variant, Ocean, on the other hand, is the resourceful, experienced part of Legend that can spy opportunity and possibilities in most places. He is, in a way, like Vio, representing the creative and intelligence of Legend. The green variant, Forest, the two inform him, if the valor and strength of Legend. Like their own green, this part of Legend is dedicated to his tasks and to the people around him. Without the exhaustion, bitterness and calculating aspects being as prominent, it allows him to be more open and friendly when separated from his brothers.
“And the golden one?” They ask, eyes trailing back to where the deviants in question are still talking.
Crimson sighs once again, shaking his head. “Call him Lore.”
“He’s us, but much younger.”
“He died when we were young, so his memories, his experiences, that sort of thing, they don’t line up with ours.”
Ocean nods in agreement. “Last he knew, we were visiting our grandparent’s farm after our third adventure. He doesn't know about our experiences since.”
“Much less us.” Crimson adds on. “He’s the only Link as far as he's concerned.”
“But how is he dead?” Four presses, confusion eating at their minds. It wouldn’t make sense for a deviant to be able to die, not without affecting the soul as a whole.
“He’s Legend’s innocence.” Crimson answers, eyes too dark and too sorrowful. “He’s been buried so far and so deep that he’s ceased to be a part of us anymore.”
“And he’s scared of me because...?”
“Because you tried to kill me- I mean... us.”
Three heads turn to where the younger looking Legend stands, hand tightly holding onto the forest deviant’s hand. The youngster looks calmer now, if not considerably confused. “How are you alive? I thought-”
He's cut off by a hand over his mouth as Forest offers a pained smile that looks more like a grimace. “We all thought you came hundreds of years before us.”
“I do. What’s this about killing us?” Vio’s slipping, but none of the Legends seem to notice.
“Nothing.” Three voices chime at once.
“Right.” Ocean looks around them with a frown. “How do we change back? Splitting up always causes problems, and the sooner we reunite and get back to normal, the better.”
“The Four Sword should do the trick, if you can become of one mind.” They provide their brother- brothers? “Just touch the tips together.”
Legend’s deviants all nod, understanding in their gazes that shouldn’t be there.
“Why aren’t you freaking out? Most people would at least be a little shocked by this.” They ask, gaze traveling from one of the split heroes to another.
“We’ve wielded the Four Sword before.” Crimson explains.
“Not wielded, exactly-” Ocean corrects.
“We carried them.” Forest clarifies. “But only until we could put them back.”
Four looks between them, and as once, they answer. “Adventure number one.”
Okay then. “I have so many questions.” They sigh, looking between Legend’s deviants.
“Ask Legend. We’re him after all, so when we reform, we’re still there.” Ocean reassures them.
“Most of us anyway.” Crimson murmurs.
“Am I dying too now?” Lore sighs, looking up at his brothers with eyes so tragically sad that Four almost feels guilty for asking them to reform.
“Not dying.” Forest winces.
“You’re going back to sleep.” Ocean tries.
“Or back to Gramma.” Red adds. “She’s probably worried.”
Lore looks pacified, and it takes only a moment more before Legend is standing, as one, before the Four again, eyes shadowed and hand rubbing down his face as he hands over the sword. “Oy vey.”
“You took that well.” They respond, taking the sword back and not at all wrapping their arms around it protectively.
“Been split before.” Legend groans. “Speak no words, or I tell everyone about you.”
“Me?”
“All of you.” Legend glares, but their mischief in his gaze. “I didn’t study the legends of the Four Sword for nothing, I know.”
And somehow, that doesn’t worry them. Legend knows how they work, knows there are more than one of them, but he’s the same, in a twisted, strange and not Four Sword based way. “We’re talking later, and I want to know more about them if I can.”
“Only if you split too.” Legend challenges.
“We can do that.” Four agrees. “We really should split more anyways.”
“We?” Legend cocks a brow, straightening up from where he stands.
“Us.” Four gestures to themselves. “Four.”
The vet stares for a moment before chuckling softly. “Why didn’t you tell us we had your pronouns wrong? Plural they/them is fine you know, you just had to say something.”
“Would you like the same?”
“Heck no!” Legend winces. “I’m male, singular. The dopples are just parts of me, but that doesn’t make me a plural entity, just someone with a jumbled brain on some days.”
“Dopples?”
Legend rolls his eyes, stooping to collect the wood that he had dropped when they were attacked earlier, disregarding the way blood smears across it from the cut on his arm. “I’ll explain on the way back to camp.”
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ushidoux · 4 years
Text
Hesitant (Ushijima x Fem!Reader)
Word Count: 3350 words (I can’t believe I wrote this much)
Summary: You find out why Ushijima has been a little hesistant about things getting too steamy between you. NSFW.
A/N: This is awkward af and quite cracky but hopefully in an endearing way.
---
Ushijima Wakatoshi was essentially perfect.
Just the right amount of unexpectedly charming and unintentionally hilarious, the man had a way of tugging at your heartstrings with even the most basic gestures. The way he reached for your hand instinctively when you met up with him after your college courses, the softening of his usual glower as he turned in your direction in response to your voice calling his name, or the short but sweet morning texts - all things that made your heart swell for him.
He was straightforward and most importantly, explicit with his actions from the very first moment you got involved. You never got the impression you were being strung along and despite how hyperaware you were about the ills of the current dating landscape, not once did you consider the possibility of getting ghosted or benched.
Weeks then months passed and you fell fast for him. You were in love.
In love with everything: his facial expressions, whether serious or smiling, his dedication to his craft, his warm, large hands, the timbre of his voice and the way it softened especially for you...
He was perfect.
But when your third month anniversary (not that you were keeping track, of course) came and passed and you had not yet had that kind of intimacy, you could no longer ignore the ache in your core he left you with after his lips parted from you minutes into a deep, passionate kiss...
Or worse - when he came from behind and held you tightly around the waist, the familiar but not-familiar-enough bulge between his legs pressing against your lower back and demanding your attention in a different way Toshi did.
In mere moments, every touch went from wanted and appreciated to craved and needed, and it began to hurt.
Why was he holding back?
“T-toshi?” You mumbled, interrupting your makeout session by pulling back from him as far as you could with your arms wrapped around his neck.
“Mm…?” His eyes connected to yours then slid back down to your lips, wanting, waiting for you to continue. Was he actually listening? You weren’t quite sure, but his hold on your hips firmed, keeping you steadily settled in his lap. He rested his chin on your shoulder, making sure to keep you close, and you could feel his heartbeat, slightly quickened as he waited for you to speak.
You wished he would look at you when you asked this next question but instead you pressed your cheek to his.
“Do you find me attractive?”
Your voice came out somewhere between soft and assertive, and you could feel Ushijima tense ever so slightly before straightening his back so that he was looking straight at you. His hands didn’t move from where they rested on your side and he remained very still, as he did often when he was unsure of what to do next.
His face remained unreadable and the behavior didn’t reassure you.
“Well, do you?” You pressed, your voice smaller this time.
“Why do you think otherwise?”
His deep voice was almost as quiet as yours, and he sounded almost apologetic. You felt a small weight land in the pit of your stomach, embarrassed to have made the mood so awful. But you couldn’t help what you wanted. You could feel that familiar heat rising within the space between your legs, and your breathing was getting quicker and raspier, and his hands had been roaming... A large hand had slipped under your shirt, then under your brassiere to palm and caress a breast, and suddenly his tongue was down your throat, and you knew soon he would stop and you would be left to smile and bite your lip while he hastily made up an excuse to leave.
Was it you? Was it him?
Your arms slowly slid down from around Ushijima’s neck and dropped into your lap. A small frown crossed his face very briefly in response and he gently withdrew his hands from where they held you.
You sat quietly together for a moment as you attempted to formulate words to express how you felt. Horny? Yes. Desired? You weren’t sure, and that was the issue.
“Sometimes, I feel like…,” you trailed off, carefully scrutinizing Ushijima’s face for a reaction. He continued to watch you cautiously, and you grimaced before continuing. Confrontation wasn’t your strong point, but communication was a must.
“I feel like things escalate and then… stop.” You paused there, and he tilted his head slightly. You mentally scolded yourself, knowing very well that you weren’t doing a great job of making sense, but in that surprisingly intuitive way of his, he seemed to know exactly what you meant.
“You don’t want me to stop,” he said, slowly.
“I don’t want you to stop,” you repeated, warmth flooding your cheeks once again. “U-unless you’re not ready to, you know, have sex... I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to coerce you into doing something that you don’t want to do, I just-”
You were interrupted by Ushijima’s hands finding their way back onto your hips again, and then standing you up completely straight so that he could rise to his full height. Seeing him tower over you now suddenly, you swallowed hard once. He could be so intimidating without meaning to, even if he was unequivocally sweet with you.
He let out a wistful sigh and ran a hand through his hair with his eyes closed before refocusing his gaze back onto you - you who were now standing awkwardly, twiddling your thumbs as you waited for him to decide to either tell you he was interested in touching and kissing but not outright having sex with you (but maybe some day!) or to just walk out the door never to be seen again without even bothering with an explanation.
Instead, he suddenly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, to your surprise.
“Wait, Toshi! Now?” You almost shrieked as he almost hastily undressed his lower half in the middle of your apartment without a single qualm. He was already unfastening his belt before he stopped to look at you - a good thing because your heart was now beating so fast in your chest, you were sure you were going to become lightheaded enough to pass out.
“We can if you want to. I’ve wanted to for a while now,” he replied, and to those simple words, your heart started to flutter and both elated and aroused you were again.
“The problem is, I was, and still am, a little worried that I might hurt you,” he started, and you wondered why he would be concerned about such a thing up until his pants dropped to his ankles, and your eyes grew wide as you realized what the limiting factor may have been. No wonder he had been avoiding sex for so long.
“I’m a bit large down there, it turns out.”
Large is an understatement, you thought, your eyes glued helplessly to the thing hanging between his legs. For the second time tonight, you swallowed hard - for once, you may have bitten off more than you could chew.
---
One very efficient store trip, a couple extra-large condoms, and a generous amount of lube later, you knelt across from Ushijima onto your large bed, your heart pounding again. Both of you were now stripped down to the bare flesh and while you wanted to drool over the sight of his bare chest and indulge in the feeling of his weight pressed against your body, you found yourself movement paralyzed, unsure of what to do next.
You had felt silly asking him to redress again so you could go out and buy supplies, but the truth was you needed time to come up with a game plan. Anyone who saw that monster cock for the first time would take a pause. Would you be able to take all of that? Could anyone take all of that?
“___, are you okay? You’re staring.”
You were trying to figure out if the condoms would fit him, then thanked the heavens that you were on the pill anyway if the condoms broke by any chance. When he waved his hand in your face, you were brought back into the reality of the here and now. You nodded, but the thinly veiled distress on your always expressive face was starting to remind him of the many locker room jokes and nicknames he’d endured once he’d reached the end of puberty.
Spear Ushijima was the first to come to mind and he grimaced, then rested back into a sitting position, cross-legged on the bed.
“We don’t have to do anything, I understand.” he said, flatly. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed it, concerned that he would look too upset. He smiled now instead to mask his disappointment and reached his arms out for you.
“We can cuddle. Oh, but if you would prefer that I put my clothes back on, I could do that too,” he said hurriedly, getting up to make his way off the bed, but you interrupted him by moving close and pressing a hand on his chest.
“Wait.”
And his surprised expression turned to another smile, more genuine this time, and he relaxed into your touch.
“___,” he whispered your name softly. You smiled, then keeping your eyes in fierce contact with his, you reached down to wrap your fingers around his considerable length. Even only semi-hard, the girth was impressive and you could feel the warmth shuttling in as he became aroused. His mouth parted just slightly in surprise.
“Are you sure?” His voice was already thick with lust.
“Yes,” you whispered, “but we’ll have to take it slow.” You added a smile to that last part and leaned forward to peck him on the lips once before you started to stroke him up and down his shaft.
He let out a soft moan and leaned back, watching you carefully as you worked your hand up and down his penis. You could tell he was trying very hard to keep still and let things run at your pace, and you relished in the opportunity fully.
“That… feels really good, ____,” he offered, his voice low and husky, and encouraged by his words, you added another hand, offering a few more pumps to his length before the piece de resistance to your lovely handjob, the application of your soft lips to his waiting cockhead.
He was already leaking a little precum, you could tell by the salt on your tongue as you licked at the slit at the tip of his member. He let out a low groan, and you could feel his muscles tense beneath you as he rose quickly.
“Y-you don’t have to if you don’t want-” he started, but you wouldn’t let him interrupt what you had going on.
“I want to, Toshi!” You exclaimed, almost indignantly, and as if to supplant that claim, you descended as far down his shaft as you could go in a fluid motion, but then to your misfortune, you must have triggered your gag reflex because you choked once then twice, and pulled yourself back to cough once more.
“Babe, are you okay?!”
Ushijima shot up like a board to hold you steady by the shoulders while you coughed, and as tears started to form in your eyes, you took one glance at his intense look of concern and you burst into laughter.
“Why are you laughing?”
You doubled over onto him, laughing even more against his chest, which only made him more concerned as he wrapped you in his arms.
“I told you this was dangerous and this is why I held myself back, ___.”
You pulled back once more, tears welling into your eyes as you finally said through snorts:
“Can you PLEASE stop acting like your dick is a lethal weapon?”
The look on Ushijima’s face was that of such extreme shock that you were pretty sure you would never stop laughing, that your fate was now to perpetually cackle until you died of asphyxiation. He frowned again, and you felt just a little bad but still the mixture of stress and confusion and awkwardness and the sheer ridiculousness of the situation rendered you unable to stop.
And finally he added, “It might be funny to you but I’ve never done this before.”
That sobered you up enough that you actually did cease chuckling, and with a final, unintentional chuckle, you faced him seriously this time, your faces only inches apart.
“Is it really your first time?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
Another silence hung in the air, maybe because it was hard for you to believe that no one had ever touched him in this way or maybe because despite the fact that he looked either mildly irritated or severely embarrassed, you could still feel his erection hard against your lower belly and you weren’t sure if that meant you should continue (and to be honest, you really wanted to) or that sex was off the table for the time being.
But his arms were still wrapped around you, and you could feel the thump of his heart against your chest, and you wanted him, and you believed he wanted you too, and suddenly it was silly that you had been so intimidated in the first place.
Again you were caught staring into his eyes, and you felt warm again - different layering types of warm.
“Do you want to continue?” The two of you asked, almost in unison. You could hear the hint of persuasion, the please say yes in his voice.
You smiled, and pressed your lips to his again, and a hand went into your hair, pulling you deeper into the kiss, and a hand went around your waist, securing you firmly against his body. Your arms wrapped around his neck as your tongues danced together again, and when your hand found its way again around his member, he tensed for a moment, but then in a decision to ignore his reservations, broke your embrace to pepper kisses along your neck and into your bosom.
You moaned and arched your back, gripping his member just a little tighter, and he took the opportunity to circle his tongue around your nipple before taking the mound in your mouth.
Consumed in the feeling of him suckling you, you were unprepared for the thick fingers that found their way around and then onto your clit, rubbing gentle circles that sparked waves of pleasure through you. Another moan escaped your lips as you closed your eyes, and then he slid a finger inside you, pressing just hard enough and in just the right place that you jerked almost violently against him.
His finger slipped out almost as fast as it had gone in.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, it felt good!” You reassured him. “P-please continue.”
He nodded, and replaced his finger, pressing more gingerly this time, using the slowing and deepening of your breaths to guide him. You occupied your mouth again with kisses along his collarbones, onto the expanse of his broad chest, pressing your breasts against him, rolling against him. His breaths also started to slow as he fell in rhythm with the way your hips moved, and when he finally couldn’t take it anymore, he flipped you over onto your back so that you lay beneath him.
A pause.
His olive eyes scanned you ravenously, and you could hear the hunger sealed within his breathy sighs, as he hovered over you. Your half-lidded eyes, your body warm and receptive and waiting for him, stating in every way possible that you wanted him - it was like a dream for him. He had wanted this for so long, to know what your insides would feel like around him, to know if he too, could make you scream his name in pleasure not pain, to do what his friends and teammates did with their partners, and now here you were, laid out for him like a whole meal.
“Are you ready?”
You didn’t look down at the warm, throbbing length resting on right on your pubic area, but instead at him, your gentle giant, and nodded.
“Yes.”
You closed your eyes and shivered ever so slightly at the sensation of lubricant being slathered right at the opening of your vagina. You could feel him repositioning himself right at your entrance, and trying to stay as relaxed as possible for him, you waited for him to enter you.
And he did, interlacing fingers with yours as he broke through your sopping entrance, feeling your hold tighten around his and hearing your breath hitch then relax as his cockhead made it through you.
Then he stopped so you could adjust to the stretch, and he rested on his elbows, trying to rub the wince out of your facial expression with a caress of the cheek.
“Are you okay?”
You nodded. “Keep going.”
He pushed a little further and you uttered another low moan with the painful, yet pleasurable stretch, and he almost felt guilty for how good you felt around him, how desperately he wanted to fill you up all at once, how aroused he was by the sound of your whimper as you felt him.
“K-keep going,” you mewled as soon as he stopped to let you adjust, and he worried that he really would tear you apart this time, but you clung to his chest again and his desire to go as far into your guts as possible was too much for him to bear.
A groan and he was in almost to the hilt, and he wiped the tears forming in your eyes as you endured the searing pain, the pressure of him stretching you to your limit. The fact that he wasn’t moving was starting to become excruciating for you, and you began to squirm under his weight, indicating your wishes.
“Are you okay, my love?” He murmured carefully.
“Toshi, m-move, please…”
He obliged, withdrawing just a bit to crash back into you, and you cried out but not in pain, in a strangled cry of pleasure.
“Toshi!”
Again!
He could hear the cry for more in the way you said his name and the force with which you dug your nails into his back and again he obliged, thrusting into you again, and you could feel your head spin.
Again!
He settled into a rhythm and stroke after stroke you could feel yourself wind up, your cries and moans and grunts of pleasure loud and clear for him, for all to hear.
“Toshi- ah~!”
His pace quickened every time you called his name and his angle changed so that he was deep enough that it was almost uncomfortable (almost), and he was now grunting, sweating, making sure to leave no part of you untouched. Your thighs clamped around his waist and you muffled your cries into the meat of his shoulder, clinging to him so tightly you thought you would meld into one.
Ushijima was moaning your name now, enthralled by the way your insides, your outsides clamped onto him, claimed his body for you, and he couldn’t believe he had been nervous about this part of the relationship, you had been perfect every other way…
Your coil snapped suddenly, and your orgasm rippled through you like electricity, and now he was muffling your moans with his tongue down your throat, fingers wrapped firmly around your jaw keeping you in place.
“You came?” He whispered in a gruff voice, now into the space between your breasts, his dick still throbbing and twitching within you. The thrum of yes vibrating through your body brought a grin to his face.
He rose up off your body again so he could look at your eyes, glazed over in a love-drunken haze, and finally, he was no longer concerned but confident - dare you say it, cocky - as he hovered above you.
“Let’s aim for at least twice tonight.”
A promise he kept.
The first time would be a time to remember, in more ways than one.
967 notes · View notes
yandere-ac · 4 years
Note
Can I request parental Yandere! Tom with a young Y / N? Y/N has been on the island for a long time, and Tom is like their father figure. I'd like to see a scenario where Y / N meets Redd and due to their innocent and naive nature, wants to befriend him, meeting at night time just because Redd says it's better this way, probably not to alert Tom that he is there.I love how you write! Sorry for my bad English.
Yandere Parental Tom Nook X Child Reader
Little one
Tom had always considered himself good with children. It might have been because of all the late nights he spent up with Sable, taking care of Mable back when she was still very small. Even as a child, Tom swore to protect and help the ones who could not defend them self’s. It was a trait that, even though as he grew up became less and less prominent, was still a core instinct that he had. Sure, he’s the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly the most charming guy back in the day. Many seeing him as intimidating and mean. And yeah, Tom could see how people could have gotten that impression. Back then, he’d been so angry and lost. He was angry at the world. Angry at himself. Angry at...him...those where the days when he was hellbent on not letting anyone ever take advantage of him ever again. He’d locked up his heart and pushed everyone he loved away. But then...something quite peculiar happened.
It had been late at night. Tom was walking alone on the sidewalk, only the dim light of the tall streetlights illuminating his path. With hands in his pockets he picked up his pace. He wanted to get out of the city as quickly as possible. He had been spending some time with family and was currently going home. But to get to his flight he had to walk through the big city. Tom didn’t like the city, it brought back bad memories. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sounds of a loud crash coming from one of the alleyways nearby. What was that? Was someone hurt? Tom knew he shouldn’t...it would be dangerous and stupid. But he had to check to make sure nothing sketchy was going on. Looking back at it now. Tom was so happy, overjoyed that he decided to investigate. Approaching the alleyway he could see the silhouettes of two small creatures. And as he got closer he realised what the silhouettes were. They were two children, tanukis, looking no older than five cowering together, clutching onto each other like there was no tomorrow. They looked up at him, shaking from either the cold weather or because they were scared. Probably a mixture of the two. Tom made sure to stay completely still as he tried not to scare the two boys.
"Hello? Are you okay? Why on earth are you two out here alone?" He asked as he slowly crouched down so that he would be on the same level as the kids, still keeping his distance. Tom however did not get a response. Letting out a small sigh he tried to continue. "Can I at least get your names?" He said, making sure to keep his voice gentle. "We’re not supposed to talk to strangers mister..." one of the two said, clinging onto the other tighter. "Okay then. Hello there. My name is Tom Nook. Who are you?" Tom tried again. At this point the other one has stopped shaking and looked at Tom with more curiosity than fear. "We don’t have names mister." Tom felt his eyebrows furrow. These poor kids. "Why don’t you two come with me? It’s about to start raining and I don’t want you catching a cold." As he said this he extended his hand to the two. And carefully, the first one reached out his tiny paw to grab it. The other one was much more hesitant about the whole thing but after a quick glance at the first, he soon grabbed Toms hand. Tom led the two away to a hotel nearby where he bought a room.
That was the first significant change that led Tom to the road to redemption and recovery. After calling the police and telling them about the situation they had come to investigate with a social worker. After they had intervened and the social worker talked to the two and did confirm that the two children had no home or guardians. And even though it had only been maybe two days with the boys, Tom had grown very attached to them. And so, he offered to adopt the two. And after settling the whole thing in court, Tom was able to happily bring two small tanukis home. Of course the final decision was left up to the kids. But lucky for Tom, they too had grown attached to him and agreed to the adoption. Tom gave them the names Timothy and Thomas, Timmy and Tommy for short. And rest assured, the boys were gonna have a good life, Tom swore of it. But that, like stated before, was only the beginning.
A year later, was the second significant change that Tom went through. That year, a new villager moved in to his town. A boy with Brown hair and a red shirt. And what a mess he was. After having bought a house from Tom, he didn’t have close to the amount of bells that he needed to pay off the house loan. In fact, he only had 1000 bells in his pockets. Seeing this was almost humorous to Tom. How can you move into a new home WITHOUT bringing more than at least 30 000 bells. And yet. Something about the boy. It almost reminded him of how he used to be back when he first moved to the city. Now, he had enough common sense to bring with him more than just a few bells. But he’d still make PLENTY of screw ups and stupid decisions. And in a way, he’d wished that he had a person to help him during that time. Someone to be kind enough to extend their hand and give him assistance. Maybe if someone had, things would have turned out differently. Who know what could happen to this villager, if he’s stupid enough to not bring enough currency, then he’d sure be stupid enough to be tricked or manipulated. Tom couldn’t knowingly let that happen, especially if he could prevent it.
And so. Tom offered him a job at Nooks cranny. Just to teach him some responsibility and give him a chance to pay off his loans. But even after he paid them off, he still took some time to visit Tom every once and again. He brought a sort of warmth and life to the town. He interacted with all the other villagers and made sure to fix it up a little as well. Although very silent and kind of strange, Tom grew a certain fondness of the boy. But ultimately, it didn’t matter what he though of him. Because one day, he never showed up. Tom just assumed that he had been sick or just tired. But after a week and not a sound from him, people started to get worried. They searched his house but he wasn’t there. And that weeks turned into months, which turned into years. Tom still worried what had happened to him. But he tried not to think about it. The thought unnerved him. He couldn’t have moved out because his house still remained in the village. But, ultimately. It really didn’t matter. He was gone, and Tom had to move on.
That was years ago. During that time, human after human moved into the town. And they were all just as incompetent. Tom had started to wonder if it was a human thing. But Isabelle had been quick to insist that he help them. And he did. He always tried to teach them how to survive and make money. All while giving them a roof over their heads. He couldn’t just let them wander around without a home, they had to live somewhere. He didn’t set any dates as to when their debts had to be paid either. They could pay him off whenever they wanted. He didn’t want to cause them any stress. And just like always, he got attached to the humans, and just like always, they all eventually left him with no explanation. He didn’t understand why or how. But it was simply just how it went. But no matter how many times it happened, he never got used to it. It was always so hard to accept the fact that the human that was usually eagerly running around had left them. Had left HIM. He felt oddly protective over them all, they were like his children, his small, gullible, human children. So when he met you, that was when his instincts really went into overdrive.
He remembered it clear as day. Timmy and Tommy had ran up to him with the three residents behind him. Immediately he noticed something was odd about one of them. One of them was a human, more than that, the human looked much shorter than any other human he’d ever met. And he’s met a lot of humans in his life, a privilege which very few get. At first he thought the human, you, was just short. But as soon as he heard you speak it became clear to him. You weren’t just short, you were much younger than any of the humans he’d ever seen before. You were a child. Tom started to wonder why someone as young as you was all the way out here. Were your parents gonna come on a later plane? No, no that couldn’t be it. There where no other planes booked to the island. Maybe you were a child to one of the other residents? Interspecies adoption has recently been legalised so that could be it. Yes. That’s probably it. But that theory popped once he gave out the tents and you asked for your very own. Wouldn’t you be sleeping with your guardian? For a moment Tom panicked. What if you were just a very small human and he has misunderstood your age. So he asked you. And to his relief and confusion you answered with "ten". Didn’t you have parents? Why were you out here alone, he needed to know if he should contact somebody. So while everyone else went about looking for a place to put their tents, Tom took you aside to ask you a couple of questions.
As it turns out, you had come here completely alone. Without parents or anything. You had handed him a letter from your mother, she was the one that sent you here with the little bells she had left, because she couldn’t take care of you and hoped that an adult on the island could handle you. When Tom read the letter he felt conflicted, he felt bad for you and your mother but he also thought the action of sending away your child to a deserted island was pretty irresponsible. But whatever he thought of the situation didn’t matter, because you were here and he couldn’t exactly kick you off or anything. He was sure that you would manage life here on the island, there was lots of things to do and food was also easy to come by. So, he’d have to make sure you were comfortable here on the island. He had given you your own tent and even payed the loans that came with it.
And you were the tipping point, you were the thing that turned his redemption into something much, much more twisted.
It had started small, with him feeling a kind of protectiveness over you. He figured it was since you were both a human and a kid. This feeling, it was much stronger than any of the instincts he felt about his previous humans, it was about as strong as how he felt for Timmy and Tommy. He just wanted to scoop you up and carry you away from all your troubles. He helped you fix up your tent and when you asked if you could upgrade it, he’d offer to pay for those house depts as well. But you had refused, saying that you wanted to pay for it yourself. It seems your mother had taught you plenty about responsibility and how to take care of yourself, which came a bit as a shock for Tom. Most of not all of his previous humans had been pretty clueless about things like this, so to see a child being more mature than them was almost a bit funny. But he knew deep down that your maturity probably stemmed from having to take care of yourself without any help. And there was nothing funny about that. Surprisingly, you handled your situation very well, you picked up weeds, planted trees, fished and caught bugs which you sold to Timmy and Tommy. All to pay for said loans. And when Tom told you about his plan to get K.K. Slider to perform at the island, you put your incredible work ethic to the max. Everyday, he could see you running around the island, planting flowers and placing furniture. It came out very good considering your age and soon enough the island got a three star rating. It baffled Tom beyond belief that you were able to do all of this. Especially at your young age. He made sure to give you credit for all the good you contributed and even made sure you got the front seat when the concert began.
And that brings us to today. You had been running around the island, collecting sea shells and fruit. Anytime you ran past one of your fellow villagers you made sure to greet them and talk with them for a while. And when you did so, one of them told you about seeing a shady boat by the hidden beach. The hidden beach. You liked going there, it was a nice place where you could just relax, far away from everyone else. So hearing that there was some boat there, it’s sparked your curiosity to say the least. Where did it come from? Who was at the boat? Why were they here? You just had to go see!
So that’s what you did. As you made your way to the beach you were stopped by none other than Tom Nook himself. He was outside of the plaza with Timmy and Tommy when the boys had their break. He gave you a smile as you stopped and turned to him. "Ah if it isn’t Y/N! Why don’t you come and join me, Timmy and Tommy to our picnic. We were just about to head there." He asked, Timmy and Tommy looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Yeah Y/N! Will you? Will you?" You had to stop to think before making your decision. "Sorry but I can’t. I’ve gotta go do something!" You said. "Alright then, but if you change your mind you know where to find us." Tom said as he walked away with the two boys. You ran all the way to the secret beach and sure enough, there was a boat stationed right there on the beach. As you made your way to it, you started to feel a little hesitant about going in. What if this person was dangerous? But you’ve already come this far, so you might as well try. And so, you took a deep breath, and opened the curtains to go inside.
Dark, that was the main word that popped into your mind as you walked down the metal stairs that descended into the boats cabin. As you reached the bottom and looked around the room a strange sort of dread filled your stomach. The room was darkly lit, only a select few lights illuminating what seemed to be paintings and statues that stood on small wooden podiums. Your curiosity started bubbling as you approached the paintings. You silently admired the art, but your moment of calm was soon ended when you heard a loud creak come from the far right side of the boat. Turning around swiftly you saw the source of sound. It was a big metal door, there was an orange fox exiting the door when he suddenly froze up. His eyes met yours, and for a moment the two of you just stared at each other. As he eyes you up and down you could only look at him with big wondering eyes. You’ve never met a fox in real life before, so this was certainly an experience. The silence finally broke when he spoke up.
"Umm...Hello and welcome aboard Jolly Redds treasure trawler!" There was a bit of uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real. "Hello mister! I’m Y/N, what’s your name?" You asked him, a smile making its way onto your face. "The names Jolly Redd, as the name of my boat would imply." As he introduced himself to you he gave you a mischievous smirk. He seemed to drop any uncertainty and suspicion as he looked at you. "Say, were you checking out my paintings just now?" He asked you while walking closer. "Oh yes! I think they look really beautiful!" You answered enthusiastically, bouncing up and down slightly as you clasped your small hands together. "Ohoho, why thank you. I made them myself you see." Once Redd told you this, you let out a gasp of both surprise and delight. "Wow! For real? I have to tell Mr. Nook and aunt Isabelle about this!" All of the previous pride and confidence that Redd felt disappeared the moment you mentioned "Mr. Nook". He couldn’t let Tom find out he was here. Especially when he’s talking to a human child. Redd knows about Toms protective nature when it comes to humans and children, so the thought of what he might do if he found him near a HUMAN CHILD, it’s scared him. "A-ah! Let’s NOT tell Mr. Nook or Aunt Isabelle. I’m actually a uhh..." think Redd, think! "...secret artist! Yeah! A secret artist! We don’t like to be seen or talked about. So could you do me a favour and not tell anyone about me kid?" Redd said. You however, not knowing he was bluffing, let out yet another gasp and nodded your head vigorously. "Of course mister! I’ll never tell anyone I promise!" Redd let out a laugh as he saw your enthusiasm. He liked you, he wasn’t usually fond of children. But you, something about you was different. You were cute but not to the point of being annoying. Maybe he’d stay here for a little while.
"I like you kid, you’ve got good taste. Us art lovers gotta stick together ya’know. So how about this, can you meet me here again tomorrow at night? It’s a lot easier for me that time." The question made you unsure. You’ve been told not to trust strangers, but he seemed so nice. He seemed trustworthy enough. You didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be able to trust him. "Okay, I’ll do it."
And that was that. Every night you would sneak out of your house and visit Redd. He would show you his paintings and such, he’d even let you paint on a separate paper while he was doing his work on his forgeries. The only drawback of this was just how tired you got later during the day. It was starting to get more and more apparent to everyone else on the island, especially to Tom. He had asked you time and time again if you had trouble sleeping, but every time he’d bring it up you would get really quiet and assure him it was nothing. One time when he was out for a stroll he found you, sleeping on a bed of flowers. He picked you up and carried you to your house to put you to bed. As he tucked you into bed he let out a worried sigh, what was going on with you? But right as he walked out he caught a glimpse of something that made him stop dead in his tracks. He quickly rushed to the little desk you had in your room and looked at what laid upon it, it was a drawing. A drawing of you and an orange fox. The drawing was labelled "Me and Redd!" with green crayon. He knew something was up. But he hadn’t expected it to be this bad.
It was late at night and you were on your way to Redds boat. Unbeknownst to you, you had someone following you. As you skipped down to the secret beach you called out for Redd. And a few seconds later, Redd came out of the boat and greeted you with a hug. "Hello there my little artist. Are you ready to have some fun?" He asked as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. "Yes! I’m ready!" You two sat down and started to paint. You told him about everything that was happening on the island, letting out a tired yawn every once in a while. As you blabbered away Redd was in deep thought, he knew he couldn’t stay here for much longer. Every day that he was here was another day that Tom could find him, and he sure as hell didn’t want that to happen. But he didn’t want to leave you, your kindness and excitement brought him some kind of joy when he would usually be completely alone. He needed a distraction other than painting and sculpturing, something that would drown out all of the persistent thoughts of hate that he felt each day. But he couldn’t just take you...could he?
"Hey, cousin? Do you like your life here?" He said out of nowhere, interrupting your ramblings. "Huh? Yeah of course. I’ve got friends and family that cares for me. I love it here." Damn it. How would he convince you if you had that attitude. "Aha...but doesn’t it get boring? You know, doing the same thing every day? When was the last time you had some excitement in your life!" Redd put down his brush and turned to you, facing you completely. "I...well..." you truly didn’t have an answer to that, sure island living wasn’t exactly the most heart pounding life but it wasn’t really supposed to be. It was supposed to be a relaxing life, without any stress or worries. "Wouldn’t you rather just get out there on the sea? With me! We could be a team! A crew! I could be the captain and you could be my second mate. Think about it Y/N!" Redd got more and more intense as he tried to convince you, but your face was far from happy or excited. It was filled with uncertainty and discomfort. "N-No I think I’ll pass. I would much rather just stay here." The fox’s expression turned from a smile into an annoyed frown. "If you don’t come with me you’ll never see me again! Do you want that Y/N?! Do you want to learn how to paint on your own? Do you want to loose out on the best teacher and friend you could’ve ever gotten?!" You didn’t give him a response, slowly backing away from him, trying to get to the stairs. But Redd saw what you were doing. "Oh no you don’t!" He rushed towards you and picked you up rather violently, you started to thrash and scream in his grasp, trying everything to get out. But suddenly you were dropped onto the floor. As you looked up in horror you saw Tom Nook hunching over you. He had his claws out and were growling at Redd. As he looked down at you his eyes softened and he motioned for you to run out, you got the message clear and ran. You ran out, sprinting for dear life in order to get to a hiding spot. Your house!
It had been about 10 minutes since you ran from the boat. You were hiding under your bed, trying to calm yourself down as the tears dropped down your face. You could feel your heart stop as you heard the door to your house opening. But you felt a huge wave of relief wash over you when you heard Toms voice call out for you. "Y/N? Where are you? It’s okay. He’s gone." You rushed out from your bed and ran downstairs to the living room. As you saw Tom stand by the end of the stairs you practically threw yourself onto him. "TOM!" Wrapping your arms around him, you started sobbing. You thought something had happened to him. You could barely form any words as tears got caught in your throat, this has been a stressful night to say the least.
"Shh shh...it’s okay...I’ve got you. I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you now, I promise." You cried onto his shoulder while he comforted you. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping alone or would you like to sleep with me, Timmy and Tommy?" You nodded your head as you climbed onto him. He only let out a small sigh as he carried you away to his house. What a mess. He wished he’d have known sooner, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But no matter, what was done was done. He could only focus on the future.
And he swore to protect you, no matter what he had to do.
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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years
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Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!
(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)
Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?
Chest gem origins
Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.
Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.
Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.
Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.
As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.
The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.
Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.
For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.
Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.
I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.
Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.
I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.
Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.
The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.
Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.
Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.
"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.
(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)
"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.
"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.
"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?
I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.
(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)
"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS
Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.
Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.
Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.
Ah, thus begins the collaboration.
"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?
Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?
Heh, Palm Stings.
Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.
I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode
Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?
Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.
Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child
OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?
You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.
(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)
Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?
"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no
Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...
If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.
(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)
"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.
Oh, there's the transformation...
I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.
"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)
I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.
Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.
Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.
Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.
There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.
Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.
Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"
Beast!Lilith is massive.
"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.
"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.
The con revealed.
OH DAMN SCARY MAMA
(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)
The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.
She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.
Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.
Owl Beast fight!
I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂
Aw, here's The Moment™️
"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?
Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.
Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.
WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?
Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)
No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭
"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"
I will never emotionally recover from this.
Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...
Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.
That said, a tantalizing lore dump.
We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!
Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!
Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.
Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)
WHAT THE FUCK
HOLY SHIT
CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT
OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ
(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)
That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.
Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.
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razrbladekiss · 3 years
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Tyrants | Chapter Two - Gutless
WORD COUNT: 4k
WARNINGS: Death (murder), brief descriptions of gore, Isla and Jax doing something very illegal
MASTERLIST
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The morning sun was beating down upon the pair a little bit harsher now, inducing a sheen of sweat to coat over Jax's forehead.
But the perspiration could've formed as a result of coming to the realization that he'd just blown the brains out of an ATF agent, left his body to decompose on Tara's bathroom floor, and spilled his guts--not even twenty-four hours later--to Isla.
Jax knew that he could trust her with anything--he always had been able to trust her with anything. But there was something telling him that she didn't exactly feel too wonderful about his revelation.
Her arm lifted to run across her forehead, ridding the skin of a few salty droplets.
"What do you mean--"
"I mean I put a bullet through his fuckin' skull and blew his brains out, Isla! That's what I mean."
He ran a thumb over his lips, realizing that he should've kept his tone subdued so close to the main doors of the clubhouse.
"Jesus, Jax." She breathed out, pinching the bridge of her nose as he started to pace quietly. "I--I can't believe you're telling me this."
Well, she could. Really, there wasn't anything she could've put past Jax anymore. And when it came to Tara...The man was an idiot. Always had been.
"Why was Kohn even at her place?"
Jax was fidgety. Uneasy. She couldn't blame him for that, could she? Because he'd just fucking killed a man--but still.
He wasn't even trying to hide it.
"Or did you lure him there or something--"
"Shut up." He growled, grabbing her bicep with his left hand as he pulled her to the side of the building. "Just listen to me."
"I'm listening, Jax, but you don't seem to be telling me a lot."
Realizing that he wasn't offering very much explanation, he nodded. Jax let go of her and beckoned her closer, pleading eyes melting her fucking heart.
"Isla, please." He wrapped his arms around her, minding the bloodied shirt.
"What do you want me to do?"
Ringed fingers splayed over her cheek, pushing stray blonde hairs out of her face. He sighed hard. Exasperated.
"Help me get rid of him--"
"Jackson--"
"I'm not asking you to lug his dead body to the creek and throw him in. I'm just asking you to offer a helping hand and be a lookout or something."
Isla searched his features for a morsel of something that'd indicate Jax was messing with her. But he was dead serious--his face set to neutral, eyes glazed over.
"But--I--what about Cameron?"
"Tara and Chibs have it covered." He murmured, heeding the apprehension sail over her.
She was as strong and willing as she possibly could've been. Isla was consistently the person that Jax and Opie would turn to for advice when it came to their girls, or when they needed to be pointed in the right direction.
But he'd never asked her to do such a thing before.
Her loyalty outweighed her nervousness, however. He knew she'd never say no to helping him with such a matter--but it was still asking too much.
Chibs would've been furious that Jax felt it necessary to beg Isla for assistance during such a time, too. Hell, Gemma would've admonished him for it.
"Where is he?" She mumbled, hearing the clubhouse door open and an irritated grunt sounding from the front of the lot.
Jax held her close to his chest, a hand tracing over the skin of her shoulder that'd been exposed as the shirt fell to the middle of her arm.
"Tara's place." His whisper was monotonous, bordering on lifeless.
"Okay--when do you need to do this?"
He eyed Tig storming from the building and toward his motorcycle, completely unaware of the two conspiring.
"Tonight." His voice came low and gravely. "I'll ride to her place now, and you go home, get yourself cleaned up, do whatever you've gotta do today, and we'll head there--"
"I'm not cleaning myself up. I'm already covered in blood--I don't think I need to destroy another shirt."
"Okay." Jax's lips rubbed together, almost turning upward into a smile. "But don't follow me out, alright? Go tell Gemma that you don't know where I went, and then you take it from there."
"And if Tara asks..."
A gentle kiss against her forehead almost forced tears to collate in her eyes.
"She won't ask--she knows I've gotta do this."
Isla silenced herself, though she nodded and watched as Tig--pissed as hell--rode out of the lot and onto the street.
She guessed that he was still piqued after she and Chibs yelled at him.
And she was still pissed at Jax, but for a different reason now.
This time, she wanted to slap the shit out of the blonde idiot standing before her, requesting help with disposing of a literal dead body.
Isla couldn't quite believe that Jax had turned to her and not somebody like Opie--somebody who would be able to help a little more physically--but she could only assume that it was more of a trust thing.
He had a lot of faith in her and she lauded that. But it also saw her get thrust into some questionable situations.
"You look like you're gonna puke." Juice stifled a laugh as Isla padded in, the bottom of her shirt wrenched between bloodied fingers. "Are you good?"
"Yeah." Instantly, she responded. "I'm fine. I just need to get my purse."
Clay was nowhere to be seen--possibly in the back room with Chibs and Tara--but Gemma's eyes focused on the blonde's form as she strolled across the wood.
"You don't look fine. Come sit for a little while."
"I'm gonna head home--"
"Where'd Jax go?" Gemma cut in, lifting an eyebrow conspicuously.
Tell Gemma that you don't know where I went.
"I don't know." She frowned, sitting on the barstool opposite the woman. "We shared a cigarette, talked about Abel, and then he told me he had to go--where, I don't know."
Did she feel bad about roping his child into their little lie? Yeah, a bit. But it was foolproof. Gemma never would've suspected anything to do with Abel because, really, Jax brought him up to everyone whenever he got the chance to.
"Ah. He's probably headed over to see him. I'll go--"
"I wouldn't." Isla pushed. "He's trying to get some alone time with him. He said that he hasn't really been able to spend one-on-one time with Abel all too much."
Which wasn't a lie. Jax needed to spend those rare solitary moments with his baby because his mother couldn't seem to leave St. Thomas for more than three hours at a time.
Gemma just hummed, turning away.
She knew how he felt. But she was Abel's grandma--she just wanted to know that he was safe and being looked after.
"I'm sorry, that was mean...I just think he's a little confused right now, and could use five minutes with his son."
"No, you're right." She nodded, unable to heed the trepidation flitting over Isla because she felt bad about coming down on Gemma in such a way.
That woman was a Godsend to Jax, his children, and even Isla's family. She didn't deserve to be randomly admonished for wanting to visit her baby's baby. Not after everything she'd done for them.
Well, besides trying to murder the mother of Jax's first born. That was a little fucked up--even by SAMCRO's standards.
But Isla adored her. For everything she had done for her during the time she'd resided in Charming, Gemma was regarded extremely fucking highly in her book.
"Go home, baby. Get some sleep, too--you need to rest."
Isla waved her off. "I'm not tired, just feelin' a little gross."
"I'd bet." Gemma pushed her lips together, smiling as much as she could've. "You go yourself pretty again, and swing by later for dinner."
"Yes ma'am." She mock saluted, reaching for her purse.
Goodbyes between Isla, Gemma, and Juice were uttered for a few moments before the blonde made her way to the door.
Her eyebrows raised inquisitively, urging her to turn back to the duo.
"Gem?"
"Mhm?"
"Was Tig alright?" Sincerely, she asked. Feeling a little guilty about snapping earlier.
Gemma didn't say anything but her head bobbed in confirmation, providing Isla with the answer she needed.
The Irish in her shone through during instances like those. She was brash in her actions, words, and the fact she'd always speak before she thought--but the solemnity with which she would ponder, apologize after making a mistake, was just so plainly Irish.
Isla was kind. Caring. Nurturing. She was everything that SAMCRO was not--but, at the same time, everything that Chibs was. Reliable. Loyal. Committed. A true ride or fucking die.
Everybody trusted her, and nobody second-guessed confiding in her.
And, once again, that had its reparations alongside a multitude of perks.
"Holy mother of Jesus." She cursed, the unmistakable Belfast twang flickering through her brusque tone.
Jax haphazardly pulled the bed-sheet over Kohn's lifeless frame, turning to face his little friend who was, to put it lightly, fucking stunned.
"You sound super Irish when you're mad."
"I'm glad you could recognize that I'm mad at you, Jax." Her eyes never once left the outline of that dead body half on Tara's bedroom carpet, half on the tile of her en-suite.
Getting to her knees, disregarding an incredulous amount of blood decorating the walls and carpets, Isla pulled the floral cover off of Josh.
She sighed. "Why'd you do it?"
"He was stalking Tara--"
"So you just blew his fucking brains out?!" Her shriek was guttural. "Jesus Christ, Jax. And you idiots think that Tig is the one with a trigger problem."
"He does have a problem, and you know that! This was different!" He countered, pulling her to her feet. "This was fucking restitution, Isla!"
"No." Calmly, she stated. Her glare piercing. "This was fucking stupid. Possibly the most idiotic thing that you've ever done, Jackson."
His head shook as he sneered, towering over her. Isla felt intimidated. For the first time ever, she felt an unwavering sensation of overawe whilst in the presence of her best friend.
"He was a bad guy. He had to die."
"But he was fucking ATF! Hale is gonna get your ass, and there's nothing Unser will be able to help you with once he gets wind of this--"
Isla's voice cracked around a small sob. She wasn't even aware of the tears welling in her eyes, but they were there the entire time.
It was the thought of Jax making one incredible life altering fuck up--one that he wasn't going to save himself with a bribe, or the simple luck of a good connection to Charming PD--that was maiming her uncomfortably.
Jax's arms wound around her trembling waist, hugging her tightly against his palpitating chest.
The sheer terror visible in her mannerisms was what frightened him. Isla never seemed to scare very easily--or, at least, she didn't show it.
She was fearless, but she was still human. And he had only seen her crack twice. Both times because of the club, too.
"He was stalking Tara." He reinstated, circling his fingers over Isla's svelte spine. "They dated when she was in Chicago, she broke things off but he was a clingy motherfucker and he wouldn't leave her alone."
"She should've gotten a restraining order or something." She mumbled into his chest, sniffing back tears.
"That's the thing. She did. But he broke it by coming back to Charming, pretending to be setting up shop at the PD with Hale, but he followed her around town for a couple weeks instead."
"And nobody questioned why he wasn't getting anything done?"
Jax's head shook. "He was still working for Chicago--or so he said, anyway--so Hale just assumed any intel for whatever the fuck it was he'd been workin' on was going straight back to the big bosses."
She was struggling to follow on.
It was such a convoluted scenario that Isla never thought she'd become entwined with--though, with Jax and Charming being, well, Jax and Charming, she didn't know why she ruled something of the sort out.
"Are you gonna tell Gemma and Clay--"
"No. This is between us, and Tara."
Isla didn't have the energy to bicker with him again. She didn't want to bicker with him again, truthfully.
"Alright, what's the next move, then? 'Cuz this pig can't stay wrapped up in a sheet for too much longer or else he's gonna start to stink this place out."
Jax situated both hands against crimson coated shoulders, lightly pushing her backward so she could look up to meet his gaze.
"I got a plan. But I don't think you're gonna like it."
His eyes went straight to the lighter atop Tara's bedside table, right next to the pineapple scented candle, and she sighed hard.
The man was so sadistic. It wasn't even slightly discreet anymore, really.
Whereas Clay had always been ruthless, remarkably barbaric toward those who had wronged him--or anyone, really--Jax had more of a moral compass. Not much more, but a little. And that was the sort of thing that tied him straight to JT.
But Clarence Morrow had a much more potent impact on Jax's life, thus the man's foibles ended up transpiring to his stepson.
"This is seriously fucked up."
"I know." He didn't even try to argue, pushing Josh into the small grave he'd spent the last ten minutes digging at the pit of a deep, deep ditch.
Isla's body was below freezing, cold and uneasy at the prospect of potentially being caught, or assumed as an accessory to the murder of a federal agent.
"I'm sorry for roping you into this." Jax stated, almost reading her mind. "I just didn't know what else to do."
She ran a hand over his forearm, resting her head comfortably against navy-cotton covered flesh. "I know."
He didn't expect the woman to douse the dead body in gasoline, set it alight, and wait all night for the corpse to torrefy entirely--but she was there now. There was no reason she shouldn't go to the trouble of lighting the first match.
Tara should be the one doing this, Isla thought to herself as the small stick caught alight. She dropped it atop the sheet, taking a few steps backward when the thing immediately shot up into thick flames.
Jax engulfed her warmly with both arms, holding her tightly as if continuing their prior embrace. It felt safe, unusually so. But, to Isla, it felt like he was scouting for that security more than what she was.
"I can't believe you committed murder for a woman that you haven't seen for ten whole years." She laughed against his sweatshirt, eyes watering. "Is there something going on with you two again?"
"No." Huskily, he responded. "There isn't, and there won't be, either. I just swung by her place to make sure she was alright--I knew she was having trouble with that fucker--and he was there. I had to do it, Isla."
"I know."
She didn't. She did not know. She did not want to know, either. She couldn't fucking believe he'd acted out so rashly, how he was so trigger happy.
Jax was morphing into a different man and she couldn't help but pin that on the club.
"Is she alright?"
"I don't think so." His mumble was barely audible, but she caught it.
Isla squeezed his arm reassuringly, knowing that he felt bad about bringing that sort of trouble to Tara.
"She will be." She confirmed. "She's a strong girl, Jax, she'll be okay."
It didn't kill her to speak positively about Tara, she still held a place in her huge Irish heart--but it was an odd sensation to be mentioning her at all.
Ten years had passed by and Isla wasn't even certain that she was still alive. Her concern for the doctor seemed to dissipate over time because Tara didn't want anything more to do with them, so they didn't try with her.
Maybe it was a pang of jealousy that held her back. She was undeniably envious of the fact that she'd gotten out of town, worked her ass off, and experienced bigger and better things.
But, essentially, everything led back to Charming, and Tara Knowles had ended up falling into that same heap of trouble she left behind a decade ago.
Isla pulled her cellphone from the back pocket of her jeans, groaning when she saw the time.
"We've got an hour before Gemma wants us for dinner. You think this son of a bitch is gonna turn into dust within the next sixty minutes?"
"No." Jax laughed, leaning to his left and propping his head atop hers. "But he'll be unrecognizable in the next twenty."
"Perfect."
It was barbarous. Vile. Inhuman.
Isla's mother would be spinning in her grave if she knew the chaos she'd managed to find herself meshed with. Diane would kill Chibs, too.
She'd kill him for roping her baby into such malice after leaving Belfast. She'd want to throttle the Scottish son of a bitch for welcoming little Isla Áine Telford to SAMCRO, to Charming, to Jax fucking Teller.
They weren't natives to the small town, nor were they natives to California. Chibs had just moved from charter to charter. Continent to fucking continent. And taking his little angel along for the ride wasn't exactly planned until his late wife took her very last breath one stormy morning.
It was the most upsetting thing he had to do, telling his daughter that the woman she looked up to and adored with every fiber of her being wasn't coming home.
He'd been in the army, he'd seen things no man should've ever seen, but the sight of that six year old--teary-eyed and partially cognizant--was something that cut him so deeply, Jimmy O'Phelan's mark didn't seem to scratch the surface of Chib's inconsolable hurt.
"I think we're good now." A little nervous, Isla noted.
She simply couldn't wait to get out of the bitter chill, into a hot shower, and to the dinner table at the Teller-Morrow residence.
Jax surveyed the scene. He crouched down, heeding the flicker and sick crackle of flames engulfing the barely fleshed body.
"I think so, too." He confirmed, throwing her the keys to his SUV. "Get outta the cold--I'll finish up here. K?"
She nodded, clutching the chain close to her chest.
Isla wasn't sure how badly she was trembling until she sat still in the passenger seat, watching the club's VP commit the unspeakable.
Really, she wasn't shocked to find out that Jax was capable of the sort. Burning a man dead was better than burning one alive, and she was thankful that Josh had been put out of his misery before his body was cauterized into dust...Which was more than what could've been said about Kyle Hobart.
She remembered overhearing the club's plans to sear, or slice, the SAMCRO tattoo from the back of that brute once they'd gotten wind of his inability to black it out.
And she would've felt bad about that man getting viciously harmed, if he didn't fuck Opie over and subsequently land him in Chino to serve five years away from Charming and his family.
It was cruel, she knew that. To blowtorch the MC tattoo from the stretch of his back, was fucking cruel. Isla knew that Tig was adept at causing such blistering agony, but she didn't think he would actually go through with it, least of all with such delight.
Isla feared that man sometimes. Clay's right hand, the man who sought to protect her, fucking terrified her because he was so unpredictable. So fast acting.
"He's done." Jax officially confirmed, sliding into the driver's seat. "You okay?"
She was staring off into space, her eyes glazing over at the realization she had just helped dispose of another human being.
"Isla--"
"I'm good." Finally, she spoke. "I just--uh--I just wanna get cleaned up and head to dinner now."
He pinched the keys from a frail palm, sticking them into the ignition. All the while wondering what the fuck he was going to do with the shaken up woman to his right.
Twenty-three years of friendship, and Isla never once thought she'd be involved in such incredulous activity. Jax never thought she'd get hauled into it either, really.
Juice was right. She looked like she was going to throw up, all pale and sickly.
He had done that. Jax was, essentially, the reason that Isla seemed as though she wanted to crawl out of her own fucking skin. Granted, she was already feeling rather discomfited after tending to Cameron's laceration for hours on end--at odds with her father and Tig for that time, too.
But now this...This made Isla feel horrible. Dirty. Disgusting.
"You want me to tell Gemma you're not feeling it tonight?" Jax looked beside himself, noticing her head hanging low as she flared out of the window. "So you can skip seeing everybody--"
"No." Flatly, she responded. "No, I wanna make sure Tig doesn't hate me."
"Why would he hate you?"
"I yelled at him." Isla sounded downcast, sad. "He was watching, being awkward, trying to tell me what dad and I were doing wasn't going to suffice, and I just snapped."
In understanding, he hummed. He knew how irritating Alexander Trager was. Irritating, insufferable, it was all the same.
"He won't hate you for that." Comfortably, Jax rested a hand on Isla's thigh.
She barely felt the ringed fingers gently gliding along her jeans as she shook. It was a tremor, light and unnoticeable to the naked eye, that Jax felt reverberate through his entire body through his palm.
"I don't think he's managed to be pissed at you for more than fifteen minutes at a time."
"Yeah." She mumbled, shifting awkwardly. "Yeah, you're right. I'm too sweet for anybody to stay mad at me--"
"I wouldn't say you were sweet."
She smacked at his hand with a laugh, throwing her head backward as her smile started to fade.
It was bittersweet.
Bittersweet because she was realizing that Tig had pardoned her for being a bitch, but she had also just disposed of a dead body on the side of the freeway.
Bittersweet because, now, there was no clear path for her and Jackson and whatever happened was just going to happen and they had to grin and bear it. Pretend it wasn't eating them from the inside out.
Bittersweet because their families--their family--were currently sat around the oak table in Gemma's dining room, waiting for the pair to waltz in after doing the most heinous.
Bitter. Fucking. Sweet.
"Where were you guys?!" Tig pointed his beer bottle at the duo, heeding Jax's hand in Isla's back pocket.
Of course, to Trager, that was more than just a comfort thing. He didn't know what they had just done--nor would he--but she was going to let him believe whatever the fuck he wanted to as long as it wasn't the actual truth.
"It don't matter." Clay dismissed, gesturing to Jax and Isla's designated spaces at the table. "They're here now. That's all I care about."
Her smile was warm, friendly and welcoming while she sat in between her father and partner in crime. Literally.
Chibs nudged her. "You alright?"
"Yeah." Slowly, she uttered. She reached for the wine glass that Gemma had so kindly laid out for her.
The two blondes made eye contact for a few moments, Jax's crystalline hues completely lifeless. Arid. He nodded toward her, an indication that he was feeling alright.
But Isla...She wasn't. Lying through her teeth was the only feasible means of getting over this. Whatever this was.
"I'm fucking brilliant, dad."
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