#this is interesting to me because I have celiac disease

[cator99]

I've been keeping track of this just because my PMS used to be full on insanity inducing but since I upped my T dose and started taking it regularly the only significant symptoms I get inthe week leading up to my period are career related which speaks more to how I handle any excess "emotional drive" with maybe a sense of responsibility now that I've matured and less to uh "testosterone = man = career focused" just in case anyone might get that impression but at it's most strong I would frantically go back to the RCAF site every month for about 4 months maybe and research different career and education opportunities it could afford me and practically shake with excitement at the thought as I seriously considered this route but once I remembered that I have celiac disease and they don't fw that I moved on to monthly firefighter career aspect obsessions that would flare up right before my period. This time around it was paramedic (week prior to period so not as strong but I was looking into it since I figured itd be more useful to do down that route first before thinking I even had a shot at becoming a firefighter... many go to school for it but few actually succeed in getting a related job afterwards so it helps to have a leg up) followed by a heightened interest in pursuing some sort of boating related career which mostly just led me adrift....... hm. Ah it also helps that I'm on adderall so yeah pretty much based on my in depth study I've concluded that steroids stimulants employment weightlifting kiwifarms and being bald is basically the cure for female hysteria

[thebibliosphere]

I know you aren’t a doctor, but is there anything else that, to your knowledge, tends to get diagnosed by alt-doctors as CIRS?

So this is probably going to piss some people off, but I genuinely believe that CIRS (which as I've talked about before as being... questionable as a diagnosis) is more likely to be a mast cell disorder.

The science and reasoning around CIRS and the obsession with "toxins" and mold is just too vague, and I say that as someone who was at one point diagnosed as CIRS and went through the whole process only to be met with HEAVY resistance from my alt doctors when I wanted to know WHY something was "toxic" and why I wasn't improving despite doing what they recommended.

They couldn't explain it. Thing Just Bad. And if I wasn't improving, it was my fault for not removing enough "toxins" from my environment.

Well, turns out some of those things weren't universally "toxic," I just have an immune disorder (MCAS) that makes them toxic to me, where my body thinks harmless things are a threat-- including my own hormonal cycle!

There was mold killing me, though, that was indeed making my mast cells unstable and sending me into anaphylaxis on a regular basis and causing all kinds of neurological problems. Mast cell stabilizers and removing the mold from my home did more good for me than any of the CIRS treatments.

(Important note: not everyone with MCAS experiences anaphylaxis as a symptom, and it is not a requisite of diagnosis.)

MCAS is not the only form of mast cell dysfunction either. There's also mastocytosis and Hereditary Alpha tryptasemia. You can read more about them at The Mast Cell Disease Society. (There are also different types of MCAS for anyone interested.)

Other things I've seen alt-doctors misdiagnose as CIRS over the years include:

Dysautonimia (high rates of comorbidity with MCAS)

Fibromyalgia (some recent research suggests that mast cells play a role in the onset of fibromyalgia)

ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome)

ADHD

Autism

Celiac Disease

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Disorder (which I also think is mast cell related, tbh.)

Pernicious Anemia (the other thing that was killing, because my untreated MCAS was stopping me from absorbing nutrients from my food)

Chronic migraines.

SIBO (which can lead to secondary MCAS)

Various different mood disorders

Interstitial Cystitis (also a common symptom of various mast cell disorders)

And I'm sure a couple more I'm just forgetting right now.

Basically, there are a lot of things CIRS could actually turn out to be. But my money is on some form of mast cell fuckery.

[elder-sister]

Intro!!!

Definitely supposed to be dead

Hi person, my name is Elder. Or Estelle/Florian. (She/He, not they or it please?)

PFP is an EarthBound screenshot (Source: ???)

I'm a genderfluid pansexual guy (I make a LOTTTTT of... Um. Questionable jokes on here.)

Special Interest: Earthbound! Love it sm... ah

Hyperfixation list: Columbo, Ace Attorney, The Umbrella Academy, aSoUE, TiaET

Favorite bands are Queen, Tally Hall, and Metallica

Asks WILL NEVER CLOSE. SPAM ME!!!

I should probably mention my fucked up body (Celiac's disease, and also generally just being a 13 year old female)

And Autism+ADHD that too.

woohoo do I think I'm awesome.

I don't have a DNI. mainly because the block button exists and I'm not your mother. I truly just don't give a shit

Friendos!!! - @commandernachos @askjonathancrane @eway @coochie-sniffer3000 and how did I forget @kirbytimelma0

My boyfriend @dooplisscomplaintsalt deserves his place here

Sideblogs!!! @ask-the-triple-kill-squad @ask-the-attorneys @pearl-pokemon @definitely-supreme-court @earthbound-twitter @elders-archive @tiaet-official

Technically runs @doopliss-complaints

I use #The Thoughts of a Teenage Writer for stuff related to my books.

Things to Know

Fandom tags!!! vvv

[crippleprophet]

[ID: the “wait, it’s all [blank]” meme of one astronaut pointing a gun at the other, edited to read “wait, it’s all celiac?” / “always has been.” with the word celiac in a groovy pink font. end ID]

happy celiac awareness month 💓🖤💓 folks expressed interest in my #Controversial Opinion, so here we go:

as someone who “has” non-celiac gluten intolerance, i don’t believe it exists.

this, as with all of my diagnostic opinions, is built from both health research & sociology, specifically the genealogy of (my) disabilities – how the labels we use & the divides we create between diagnoses are socially constructed. conditions don’t announce themselves as discrete entities; instead, labels are given based on, at best, current medical understandings of symptoms + clinical visualization measures (imaging, bloodwork, genetic testing, etc). conditions that were once considered two separate things may eventually be restructured under the same diagnostic label, & what was once considered one singular disease may be divided into separate categories, in response to new information or the new recognition / respect of existing information.

the issue with this system, though – with access to healthcare which is predicated upon diagnosis, which is itself predicated on checklists of symptoms & clinical visibility – is that we don’t know shit. our bodies are not required to present symptoms in accordance with the ICD 10, & chronic illnesses are very much an “ask four doctors, get five answers” situation.

for example: without any of my symptoms, imaging, or bloodwork changing, i’ve been diagnosed with active ankylosing spondylitis, ankylosing spondylitis that is in remission, fibromyalgia, & spondyloarthropathy. the only difference is the doctors: their belief or lack thereof in my symptoms, their familiarity with current research, & the diagnostic systems they abide by. under the NHS, it was definitionally impossible for me to have ankylosing spondylitis that was not visible on an MRI, therefore i must have been in remission, even as my symptoms were just as debilitating as before & treatable by immunosuppressants.

how this pertains to celiac: as with all chronic illnesses, symptoms of celiac disease are a broad spectrum. some people have severe growth impairment from a young age; others may only have minor skin manifestations. other common symptoms are vague & potentially attributable to any chronic illness, such as fatigue, depression, & gastrointestinal issues. crucially, though, damage to the small intestine is still occurring even in people with celiac who do not flare after consuming gluten.

following this,

the diagnosis of non-celiac gluten intolerance has nothing to do with symptom presentation or severity. it doesn’t even mean there is no clinically visible damage to the small intestine. rather, it just means you didn’t pass the test:

in my case, not only was the (notoriously unreliable) antibody blood test negative, but so were subsequent tests for the genetic markers associated with celiac.

two people with the same exact experiences can get put into two different boxes, solely based on bloodwork – but that’s not how genetics works. it’s pretty much impossible that only those two markers dictate whether or not someone has celiac, or any given disease, because genetics are infinitely more complex than that; equally, plenty of autoimmune disorders can have a genetic component but are not exclusively found in people with that particular marker (ankylosing spondylitis & HLA-B27, for example).

therefore, i firmly believe non-celiac gluten intolerance is celiac disease, just influenced by other genetic factors and/or antibodies we haven’t yet identified.

there are a whole host of issues created by the false divide of celiac vs non-celiac gluten intolerance, certainly including things i’ve never considered, but here are a few examples of what i refer to as diagnostic violence, the physical & social consequences of these forms of categorization:

celiac disease increases people’s risk for small bowel cancer. but if it’s been determined by the medical establishment that according to their criteria, you don’t have celiac disease, then you won’t receive cancer screening.

since a food intolerance is not considered an autoimmune disease, there is no medical evidence of an underlying cause of arthritis, for example, making it that much harder for people to receive diagnosis & treatment for autoimmune symptoms.

diagnostic paperwork & a letter from a doctor is almost always required to receive accommodations, & food-related accommodations are notoriously difficult to obtain at universities which require the purchase of a meal plan without sufficient gluten-free options, for example.

as a response to the dangerous ableism permeating societal attitudes toward gluten-free food, many people (diagnosed) with celiac fall back on communicating the seriousness of their needs at the expense of their undiagnosable peers. “it’s not just an intolerance!” i read over & over – never mind that gluten made me so sick i lost a significant amount of weight, my hair fell out, i had signs of multiple vitamin deficiencies, & i could only keep down liquids.

this is honestly the most blatant example i’ve come across of the complete arbitrariness of diagnostic categories, but it’s far from the only one, & i’d love to hear other folks’ controversial opinions – what physical disabilities do you tell people you have without a diagnosis? do you consider yourself to have that condition, or is this just for expediency of communication? how does your undiagnosability affect your interactions with community formed around that diagnosis?

your experiences are real, your symptoms are serious, & it is not your fault that white supremacy demands a categorizability which all bodies inherently fail. join the club – we’ve got plenty of gluten-free snacks. 💓🖤💓

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, November 13th, 2024.

Do you like to cuddle with your S.O. or do you prefer your space? I'm not in a relationship, but I am a cuddle fiend. I do tend to prefer my space when sleeping, though. Maybe cuddle for a bit and then roll to our respective sides.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis?

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Don't feed Peppercorn. :) Stuck it on a STOP: surgery tomorrow sign and slipped it in the silverware drawer at the shelter on Tuesday.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? Not really.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? I don't. I've never been all that interested in having them, and can't see myself changing my mind or developing that kind of relationship in the small window of time I have left.

Do you get enough calcium? I probably don't get quite enough.

Are you nosy? Yeeeah, but then it's also like, you know what…sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? Yeah.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? It might have been Paja Jose's, a Mexican restaurant downtown. My parents and I went there for lunch while attending the Chili Festival last year. Well, they got lunch. I got a fried ice cream.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? I might have looked something up on my dad's computer within the last few weeks or so.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single/Divorced.

Do you say sorry first? It depends. I'm pretty good about apologizing when I know I'm in the wrong, but I'm not always the first to say it. Sometimes silly pride or whatever gets in the way.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? I will probably spend at least part of the day at the animal shelter. The rest of the day will be spent at home with my dad. I might also do something with my mom to celebrate, but not on the day-of.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. I have known them since I was in high school, though.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? Yeah. As a child. My mom's car broke down on the interstate on the way home from a grocery trip and a semi driver stopped and give us a ride into town.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? Nick's father's funeral.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? No.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? I haven't.

Do you like eggnog? Yeah.

Who is the person you dislike the most? My sibling. Normally it wouldn't matter because they have no influence on my life, but they decided to crop up in September and be a royal shithead, so…yep.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? Yeah.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? I don't think so.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? One. And yes.

What’s the weather like today? 51*F, sunny, no breeze.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I don't do much of anything to celebrate. I might reminisce about the past year and make some casual resolutions for my future, but that's about it.

Do you currently have any alarms set? One on the microwave for the pecan pie I'm currently baking. It should be going off before too much longer.

Do you like whiskey? I don't really like the taste of any hard liquor, but it was never really about the taste for me anyway…

What type of milk do you like to drink? Almond milk or whole milk.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? I've got some band-aids, lmao, that's basically it.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? They're both cat people, as am I.

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? Salt and vinegar, jalapeno, cheddar, bbq, etc.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? My mom and I have matching tattoos. It wasn't originally planned that way - I got mine some while before she got hers - but she asked if she could "copy me" and I was like, "go for it."

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Snake.

What form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? I'm not interested in anyone.

Do you want to see someone right now? No.

What was the last thing you looked up on YouTube? I think it was a video by Unnatural Vegan. I'm not vegan, but I do enjoy her channel/information.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? Yeah.

Do you actually love your parents? I love my dad very much. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel about my mom, but there's more warmth between us than there once was.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? They're just plain gray.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? Walmart.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah. I don't want anyone's backwash. :x

Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?

Do you spend more time outside or inside? Inside.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? I've already basically given up the TV. I don't think I've watched it since early 2020.

Last person to make you seriously mad? Alex.

Who have you recently made up with after fighting? I haven't fought with anyone recently.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? I think it's Aim.

What were you doing this morning at 1am? Sleeping.

Have you used a tissue today? Yeah.

The last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? Nothing. I doubt I would even be aware of it.

When people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? It depends on who's asking. I'll answer my dad and my therapist honestly, maybe even my mom depending on what's going on, but when it comes to coworkers I'm pretty much always "good."

How was your Friday? Wonderfully snowy.

Did you speak to your father today? Yeah.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

How did you wake up this morning? I woke up naturally a little after 6:00am. My version of "sleeping in," lmao.

Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? I did a couple of things that could be considered destructive or cruel, but I wouldn't say I was an unusually destructive child.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My dad. We went grocery shopping yesterday morning.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. While watching Wild Robot. Except she couldn't see me crying because it was dark in the theater. :')

Do you know anyone that is gothic? Not really…? Maybe hints of that aesthetic, but not full-blown.

Have you seen UP? Yeah.

How is your mom? I haven't talked to her for a bit now… I should text her soon and see if she wants to get together next week during one of my days off.

Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? Naw.

Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? Yeah.

Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding.

Last time you ate a salad? I had a chicken salad for lunch yesterday.

Have you ever been described as “adorable”? Yeah.

Are you a moody person? Maybe a little bit.

What are you listening to? I'm not listening to anything at the moment.

What video game could you waste the most time on? I don't play any video games these days, but if I happen to get into Stardew Valley…we'll see…

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Hello. So I'm having a battle inside of my brain. I've been following you for a while now, and I'm also in recovery for anorexia and bulimia. I'm also a newly graduated medical doctor. This means I know a lot about the human body. Which is exactly my point now. I try so, so hard to eat 'intuitively', listen to my body, and be okay with gaining weight, and I try to be in body positive and fat acceptance spaces (1/2, I will continue in next question)

(2/2), but I also know and I have seen with my two eyes, and treated with my own hands, the consequences of not eating healthy or being at an unhealthy body weight. I live in fear that If I eat and eat because I'm trying to recover, I'm gonna have the opposite health problems. I bring it up to my psychiatrist and psychologist, and they tell me there is no unhealthy food. But there is. And I just don't know how I should go with my recovery like this. Any advice for this? thank you for this blog

So I had to take a bit of time to think about the best way to articulate answers for you, because there are some complex and often competing needs addressed on my blog. I think it's important that you get an answer to your question, but I wanted to be careful to go about it in a way that wouldn't cause harm to anyone else. So I'm going to make my best effort, and putting it under a cut because it will be long and some who are triggered by medical views on fatness may prefer not to read on.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. Having a battle in your brain, as you say, sounds like an agonizing way to live. I hope that you are able to work through it.

Now, as you may know if you frequent this blog, eating disorders are complex and varied. Bodies and their workings are complex and varied. Some people do experience a variety of health conditions that are influenced by what they eat, so for these individuals, they may be best served by making choices accordingly. These choices can also be incredibly complex in this world - you may have seen a recent ask I recieved, for example, about somebody whose husband was just diagnosed with diabetes. The asker was stressed about learning to prepare foods for them both in accordance with his strict diabetes-friendly diet would trigger their restrictive tendencies from their eating disorder. So as you can see, the dietary choices that might be in his best interest might not be in the best interest of the asker. But them being married, I'm sure they would like to share meals together, so following a diet that suits them both is complicated. Difficult choices will have to be made at every juncture.

Gluten is not inherently bad or evil. Unless you have Celiac disease, in which case gluten is actually going to kill you slowly. You need to monitor your salt if you have high blood pressure, but if you've been diagnosed with POTS, you may actually need more salt, and lots of it. I myself will occasionally snack on chips, but never Funyuns. There's nothing inherently wrong with them, but they were invariably a trigger food for me to binge, so I stopped bringing them into my house. But this doesn't make them an unacceptable snack choice for everybody else.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Different people are experiencing different circumstances, and may need different things. Just because a food is particularly bad for one person doesn't make it a "bad food" unilaterally. Even the kinds of foods we consider "junk foods" can be tolerated by our bodies in moderation - well, most of our bodies, anyway. Now there are some people who have eating disorders like ARFID, where they literally cannot eat most foods and must veeery gradually expand their palate. For these individuals, we say "no food is bad food" because, while you might not like to see a person living on, say, saltine crackers or potato chips alone, they will literally starve without it, and so eating the food they can eat is preferable. For these individuals, that sleeve of saltine crackers can be a lifeline. Or take anyone who has a complex gastrointestinal disorder. Ask anyone with Chrohn's about their gut and its complicated relationship with fruits and veggies, a staple segment of the food pyramid touted by most doctors for its immense health benefits. Eating what you can will keep you alive and as healthy as possible in cases like these.

Now, there are people who are impacted in complex ways by the kinds of foods I'm guessing you're describing - things like chips, candy, fried food, processed/instant food. So in this case, do keep in mind that when an individual has a diet consisting largely of these types of foods, there are often complex genetic, epigenetic, and socioeconomic factors that are influencing the way their bodies naturally work and the way their dietary patterns have been established. I do understand how easy it is, at first glance, to just point at their diet and assume that it's easy and sustainable to change it, or that it would be a fix-all. But those same factors that contribute to the development of those complex health issues are often ongoing into the life of the affected individual, not to mention financial and social complications that may make it difficult to change things. But again, just because you've identified a certain food as detrimental to a patient's specific needs doesn't mean it's the same in regards to your own body's needs. Especially if these foods cause a trigger reaction for you to restrict or become obsessed with food "purity."

Now I know that in your work you say that you've treated with your own two hands the results of eating unhealthy foods. But I want you to get honest with yourself here, because you're not mentioning the experiences of the doctors who have treated and seen the damages of restrictive eating disorders. Both anorexia and bulimia, when sufficiently progressed, can cause lasting damage to the body even years into recovery. And they can also cause death. Surely a bag of chips or a cookie every now and again can't be more unhealthy than that? I'm hoping that you can take the time to periodically remind yourself of this, and to remind yourself that your own bodily needs are your own, and that paying attention to what YOUR body needs is self-care.

I know it's hard for an eating-disordered mind to listen to logic, but I'm truly hoping that you can overcome this for your own sake as well as for the sake of your patients. Anon, medical fatphobia has a long history of damaging patients. I know this because I myself have seen it happen. I've told the story before of my friend who was raised by hippies, fed all-organic snacks and kale chips, never allowed a hydrogenated oil, and was still fat growing up. I watched this person reduced to eating saltines and a few bites of apple per day when they were suffering with gallstones. It was all they could eat, but because they were fat, doctors assumed that their gastrointestinal distress must be caused by an excess of fatty foods in their diet. They lived on apple slices and saltines for months, still suffering pain all that time, before they were correctly diagnosed. Can you imagine what it did to their body, to live on such a restricted diet for such an extended period of time? This was not the only time a missed diagnosis threatened their health because all doctors saw was the fat. This person also starved themselves for a few years after being taught to do so at fat camp, and their anorexic behaviors were never called out because even though they did lose weight, they never ended up "skinny" at their lowest weight. But that starving certainly couldn't have been better for them than just living fat - their vision was blacking out every time they stood up! Anon, I hope you don't mind if I speak to you honestly about this. It's hard to gain a full honest medical history from every patient and patient family member you come across, because healthcare is a complicated field. But you cannot let your fear of fatness dictate the way you hear and see your patients. Yes, even if they're not following their prescribed diet. Yes, even if food is a contributing factor in their particular case. (And do keep in mind that a patient's refusal to change diet may come from a place of complicated factors, financial, social, emotional, you name it. Compassion will get you farther with them than judgment, and may even help you get a fuller story.) But do it for yourself, too. And listen to your body. If a food makes your body FEEL well and nourished, then it wasn't a bad food. And you deserve to be well fed and embark on your own healing journey. I hope you find the self-worth to believe that.

Because honestly, food deprivation affects your metabolism. You may experience the notorious anorexia recovery hunger as your appetite reemerges, and you will need to give your body what it needs in order to develop a pattern of being healed in both body and mind. You can keep nutritious options around for that, but I think you may need to keep working on your fear of "snack foods." Your metabolism may be changed as well, and so yes, you may gain back more weight than you had envisioned, or your body shape may be different than you had expected for a little while. Sometimes the weight distribution is a little weird during that regaining phase, and that's okay and does not determine your worth. You are going through a medical event and deserve to be compassionate with your body and soul as that happens. In fact, that is the only way you can heal your mind. Because, even before you look to your patients and the ideal steps for their specific health needs, you need to prioritize yourself and look to your own individual needs. So to recap, periodically use these reminders.

"Just because a food is bad for that other person doesn't make it a bad food. My dietary needs are my own."

"There's no food unhealthier than an eating disorder."

"I will look inward at what my own eating behaviors have done to my health, rather than ruminating on that patient's eating behaviors."

"I'd rather gain weight than hurt my body again."

"My thinness does not reflect my worth."

Feel free to add on as you progress in your recovery journey. Best of luck, in that and in your career. It's certainly not an easy one. Do your best, be open to learning, and remind your eating disorder that your therapists are right even if it doesn't want to listen to logic. I hope that when you are able to bring yourself to eat your next treat, you enjoy it thoroughly.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Seeing as my parents are visiting this month, I scheduled counseling for the week after. My mother is anti-max and refuses to wear one...which means she's not entering my home. She and my dad are flying here, and planes are a great place to catch all sorts of illnesses. I don't want covid (or any other sickness) for my birthday, tyvm.

Oh, they're gonna throw a fit about. We also have a no shoe rule. No outdoor shoes are to worn indoors. Bubby's D&D players bring slippers and don't make a big deal out it. The first time my parents visited us after the first was in 2018...and it was Not Good. Started with them getting rude and angry about being barred entry. When they said bending down on the porch was unacceptable...and got angrier when I brought chairs out for them. The house we were living room had white carpeting! Shoes are filthy!

We have no carpeting now, but I don't wanna mop the floors. Again. I'm doing that before they visit.

If they agree to wear a mask if I permit shoes, then I work with that. Let's see what sort of Karen fit they throw.

Needless to say, there's a very good reason I'm seeing my therapist the week after the visit. She's got notes marked that I may call her before then. I'm low contact with my parents. Conversations with my mom are almost exclusively about quilts, with a professional and less personal tone. I rarely speak to my dad because I have no idea what we can talk about seeing as all his hobbies and interests involve sports (he went damn near mad during lockdown).

Oh, and my dad is a Trump-Humper. It's absolutely bizarre seeing as he worked in military intelligence (that's an oxymoron right there). When they visited, my dad got really aggressive and hostile when it was very fucking clear we're not. His aggression and anger was very prominent. My mom expressed fear and anxiety because he had even watching Foxaganda all day everyday since Dumbass Agent Orange began his campaign. Folks, my dad thinks the guy is brilliant and must be respected.

Yeah.

Then they dragged me to an area almost two hours away, to have lunch with my bigot aunt and uncle, who lived several hours away (they have since moved far away, likely due to the PNW being too blue). It was a restaurant where I couldn't eat, and all four of them ignored this. No one spoke to me, and I was trapped between the window and my parents because they chose a booth. Oh, and they got upset about me bringing protein bars. The waitress heard me state I can't eat anything due to celiac disease and cross contamination. She said her son is the same way, and told me she'd have all the dishes used to prepare a salad washed, as well as the countertop. I didn't get sick, and my mom tried the whole "gotcha" nonsense.

I have issues with being trapped. Not claustrophobic, but being trapped and unable to leave. Bubby was working and couldn't come pick me up, my parents told me to "get over it." My anxiety was sky high, and I was fighting panic attacks. It got worse the longer everyone talked. The more they talked, thr more hateful their words got.

My uncle firmly believes all drug addicts and homeless people should be put on boat and taken to a deep part of thr Pacific ocean. Then have the authorities put a hole in the boat and let it sink. Yeah, he's that kind of guy. My dad said it's a good plan. I didn't say a fucking thing because it would've been dangerous.

The next several months were spent recovering from that.

This time, my parents are going to discover how much stronger I am. I will not cower, I will not bend to their demands, and I sure as shit will not be getting I'm a car with them. We're buying some cheap lawn furniture to put in the backyard. If they're gonna throw a fit, they'll be barred entry. Therapy has done wonders for me, and standing up to these bullies will be a good way to see how far I've come.

[what-yadoking-likes]

CW: tarot cards, mention of pregnancy/fertility issues, relationships.

Recently I've been getting into tarot. It's more for my own enjoyment and interest than anything else - a kind of self-care, even.

My sister has a lot of faith in the cards. Whilst I don't necessarily believe there is some spiritual guiding hand steering me towards my card pulls, I think she does believe this - or at least something like it, such as Destiny.

She. She keeps asking me to pull cards for very similar questions and she. Oh gang, she. She. She doesn't like the answer. And I think she keeps asking expecting she'll get a different answer but she ain't.

Now, it's possible I may be reading the cards wrong - but hear me out, because it's not just the tarot that's saying 'no'.

Her question is always some variation of 'Will I have my own biological child/will I get pregnant/will I get pregnant with my boyfriend'. For context - my sister has just turned 36, has celiac disease and is overweight (not a read, just a fact). She has been with her boyfriend for just over one year, and he has a 6 year old child from his marriage.

He doesn't want another child. He feels that he's been through the stages of nappy changes and mid-night feeds, and doesn't want to go through it again: my sister wants a child with him, and believes she very much is running out of time to do so (given her age and the negative contributing factors which could affect her fertility).

I want her to be happy. I do. But... the tarot keeps saying no. Her boyfriend keeps saying no. I think this is a case where she knows what she needs to do, if having her own biological child is a deal-breaker, but she doesn't want to have to make that choice. Meanwhile I am left asking the cards the same question every so often... & she is dropping hints that she is considering becoming complacent with contraception, which alarms me.

[acacia-may]

Oooohhh! Can I ask about your favorite dessert and drink?

Hi Erika! Thank you so much for the ask! I’d love to answer these questions for you! 🥰

Questions from this “Get To Know Me” Ask Game

🎂 — Favourite Dessert

So fun(?) fact about me, I have Celiac/Coeliac Disease which kind of limits the types of desserts I can have, but there are lots of wonderful desserts that are gluten-free! 😊 While I have been blessed to have some really tasty gluten free cakes, cookies, and other baked goods in my life, my favourite desserts tend to be ones that are naturally gluten free (like ice cream, custards, and jello). One of my favourite naturally gluten free desserts is French macarons (which are made with almond flour). There's a local macaron bakery near to where I live that's fantastic, but I've also baked some myself (it's just a very labor-intensive process and I'm not skilled enough to make the more interesting flavors they have at the bakery 😅). For very special treats (since it's something I can't make myself...at least not yet😅), I love crème brûlée! But my go-to dessert at home is usually something simple like ice cream or jello! 🥰 (And now I'm reminded of a scene from one of my favourite movies "My Best Friend's Wedding", so I think I'll end this with a gif 😁)

Gif from Buzzfeed

🫖 — Favourite Drink

I love tea of any kind, but my favourite is probably Darjeeling. My favourite soda pop is Dr. Pepper, and I also love apple juice and strawberry lemonade. For something a little more out of the box, I adore any flavour of blue gatorade.

In terms of an alcoholic beverage, I'm not a big drinker because I'm kind of lightweight, but I do enjoy making up my own cocktail recipes (it's a lot easier and more cost-effective for me to mix my own cocktails at home since Celiac/Coeliac Disease limits the kinds of liquor I can have too). If I go out to drink with friends (which is a very rare occurrence), I usually order something pretty standard like a Vodka Cranberry or Rum & Coke. Dirty Shirleys (Sprite, Grenadine, & Vodka) are pretty good too! 🥰 I also appreciate a good wine and prefer red wine over white though I tend to like rosés the best. There is also a local vineyard that makes wines out of other fruits which is pretty great. [I actually loved their cherry wine so much it actually inspired one of my fanfictions ("Wine Therapy")]. 😊

Thank you so much for the ask and for playing my ask game! 💖

[anna-mellgren]

To all you curious souls ~ I am currently in the Swedish arctic where I have a job, some old friends and distant relatives. My family even owns forest here. I have deep roots here and if there is one thing I learned in America is not to take it for granted. I have met a lot of Americans who are cut off from their ancestry and feel a great loss over it. I've had a lot of jobs over the years, some great & definitely some less great. Sometimes I just wanted to pay my bills.

Sometimes I left stuff out of my CV so I don't have to explain the whirlwind that was my 20s. I have juggled work & academic endeavors while dealing with lupus, celiac disease & quite a few ups and downs. To say things have not always gone to plan would be an understatement but my autoimmune health is doing a lot better. I've gotten help from excellent doctors & I've had an amazing therapist/psychiatrist take care of my mental health when things felt heavy. I am genuinely happy now but I can empathize with literally anyone going through a hard time <3

My autoimmune health is actually quite good now and everything is okay. Last year was tough for completely different personal reasons (nothing to do with school, work or my autoimmune health) so I decided I needed a break and go to the arctic where my soul is always at peace. Sometimes a deep inner calling brings you to where you should be :) I will continue my academic endeavors, my law career & I know everything will fall into place in time but sometimes you have to listen to your own inner voice on how to move forward. I still have my apartment in Stockholm & I have taken the night train home a few times to visit friends & family but I will be up here for a while.

I don't mind the cold, I prefer it & the winters are stunning here. It is interesting how I don't take heat well at all but I can always handle cold weather. I don't mind putting on extra layers, I thrive in cold weather. It is almost like my genes are telling me this is my natural habitat. I remember playing soccer in the summers in the USA & how I haaaaated it because of the heat & humidity. Playing outer midfield probably didn't help either lol. I absolutely loved playing in cooler weather in the autumn though.

I will be in the far north for a while & I am very happy if that counts for anything.

Take care of yourselves <3

[kimmysurveyblog]

50

Do you like to cuddle with your S.O. or do you prefer your space? I prefer space.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? None.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Uhh... I use a white board/app for notes. I wrote down the time I gave my daughter Tylenol.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? Yes, one. I was 30.

Do you get enough calcium? Probably not.

Are you nosy? I'm super nosy.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? Yes.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? A zoo last week. We apparently have a zoo in the region I live in but I've never been there.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Noo idea. I use my boyfriend's occasionally.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single.

Do you say sorry first? Sometimes.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Christmas day we spend just the three of us. Eve and boxing day will be spend with my boyfriend's family.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? No.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? My mom.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? Nopeee. My bladder is small. Impossible.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? No.

Do you like eggnog? No.

Who is the person you dislike the most? I don't know.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? Bills, no. I pay for everything for our daughter though.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? No.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? One half brother. What’s the weather like today? Cloudy and chilly. Fall is COMING and I'm soooo here for it. :)

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I have a toddler so I do not. There is a 0% chance I'll be awake at midnight this year.

Do you currently have any alarms set? No. I set it before bed.

Do you like whiskey? No.

What type of milk do you like to drink? We have whole milk in the house because toddler, but I don't drink milk.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? Yes.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? My parents were dog people. I am also a dog person.

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? Dill pickle.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? My boyfriend and I want matching shrimp tattoos.

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Ram.

What form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? Text.

Do you want to see someone right now? Always,

What was the last thing you looked up on YouTube? No idea.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No.

Do you actually love your parents? Yes.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? Plain.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? An underwear sub service. My boyfriend gifted it to me so I'm not sure the brand.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? No.

Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I've gone through a lot. I hope the rest of my life is a lot easier on me.

Do you spend more time outside or inside? Inside.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV.

Last person to make you seriously mad? Neighbour.

Who have you recently made up with after fighting? No one.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Sensodyne.

What were you doing this morning at 1am? Sleeping.

Have you used a tissue today? Yes. I've cried a bit today.

The last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? He wouldn't get arrested.

When people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? If I'm not actually good I say, "I'm okay".

How was your Friday? It was 3 days ago but I honestly don't remember lol. Fun, I think!

Did you speak to your father today? -

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

How did you wake up this morning? I woke up naturally 15 minutes before my alarm.

Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? Boyfriend and kiddo.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My boyfriend.

Do you know anyone that is gothic? No.

Have you seen UP? No.

How is your mom? -

Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? No.

Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? Yes.

Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Jello.

Last time you ate a salad? Yesterday.

Have you ever been described as “adorable”? Yes.

Are you a moody person? Sometimes.

What are you listening to? I'm watching Good Mythical Morning.

What video game could you waste the most time on? ACNH.

[emmagahm]

Travel

This past week was spring break. My last spring break as a highschooler and last spring break with my family. Since my college spring break won't align with the brother's next year. This spring break carried emotions of a little stress, joy, melancholy, and peace.

My family and I planned a trip to the Dominican Republic. We have been to the Dominican twice before, both times staying in the same resort we did this year. I was diagnosed with celiac disease just a few weeks before departing for our trip. Celiac prevents me from being able to consume gluten. I am still navigating through the challenges that come with celiac so throwing myself into a different country with a different language and a different food culture was definitely interesting. We learned quickly that the best way for the waitstaff to understand my needs was to explain it in spanish. I chose to take american sign language for my language in the beginning of high school so my spanish dialect is very slim. Google translate helped me to figure out the phrase "no harina" which was most helpful for the spanish speaking chefs and waitstaff. No harina means no flour. For the most part we were able to find foods with no gluten or ask the chefs to make my food away from gluten products. Thankfully navigating my allergy was the only real stress during the vacation.

Our resort was beautiful, multiple pools, gorgeous landscaping, and a clean white sand beach. My family and I hung around the pool most of the time, but we escaped to the ocean to build a sand bunny for easter and swim in the aqua colored water a few times. The trip allowed me to forget the stress of school, graduation, and just life in general. I enjoyed every second of the sun because Minnesota weather really sucks right now. Although I was sad that this was my last spring break with my whole family for awhile, I felt so blessed to be able to have this experience. I am so thankful that my parents have been able to plan trips like the ones I have been on.

[vaguegrant]

Real talk: I'm trying to do this myself.

Not the cult thing (well, not yet.) But, you know—I turn 40 this year, the spectre of death is approaching and all that, and I have largely managed to spend those 40 years being a boring cishet WASPy nerd. I manage the tech support team at a software company and produced a podcast about tabletop roleplaying games and progressive Christianity, for fuck's sake! And yeah, over the past couple of months that urge to scream "notice me!" at the universe, to kick over your established life and try to catch up with "how things should have been"—which I previously thought was absolute bullshit made up by selfish boomers—kicked in for real.

But the thing is, I've also been doing a lot of introspection lately to try to get a handle on my ADHD. Keeping a daily diary has been a big part of this process, but not the only one. We also lost a wonderful person and friend far too soon last year. The kids keep growing up. CoVid-19 seems to have triggered celiac disease in me, and I'll have to deal with that for the rest of my life. Everything moves on without your permission, or even your input! All of that means that I've been thinking about this burgeoning midlife crisis, and my priorities, and my legacy, and all that crap. And I think I've pinned that feeling down to, simply, "I want to live and die an interesting person, living and having lived an interesting life."

Turns out that our society tries to sell you solutions to the midlife crisis that don't really provide an answer. It tells you overtly that more expensive things will satisfy you. Covertly, it tells you that you can buy back your youth and (at least for men) the sex you had or wish you had when you were young. But it's all based on competitive and continuous consumption. It is fundamentally lonely.

Instead, I'm trying very hard to simply be interesting. I'm meeting people—joining groups in my community, because I want to know people and I want to be known. I'm learning new skills, for my own sake and for the sake of others. I'm changing up my clothes, growing out my hair, adding fun accessories, and breaking out of the typical corporate/nerd-dad appearance. I'm trying to actively do, not passively be. And holy shit it is working. I've barely started down this path and I'm already having fun, feeling creative, feeling like I'm actually contributing something to the world!

I've still got a really long ways to go. It's fucking hard to break decades of habits, overcome mental hindrances and budget for major life changes (both time and money.) I'm not good at any of this yet. But I'm also not going to stop trying until I'm dead. And if I do pull this off the way I want to, you're all going to be able to come to my rad-ass funeral and swap stories about me until the sun comes up the next morning.

here’s to a better midlife crisis

[mrbrokestudent]

About

Please read

Hello! I am a trans masc adult male. I am married and queer. Welcome to my blog. Unless

Do not interact/DNI: Xenophobic, Racist, Antisemitic, LGBTQ+ phobic of any kind, MAPs Pedos, Ablest (including Endos and Autism Parents), Anti Science, Anti Age Regression, Autism Speaks enthusiasts, DDLG/MDLG or anything similar, Sexist or anything simular. Just if you are a crap person I am not here for you.

⬇️ Below are things you will see on this blog ⬇️

Likes: Puzzles, riddles, writing, drawing, studying, building miniatures, cooking, coffee and teas, nature, animals, reading nonfiction (mostly), fishing, journals, bus rides, skateboads, phycology, criminology, space, human rights activists, green, purple, fun mugs, no touchies and my face being covered, rain and spending time with family.

Special Interests: Gardening/Farming, Writing Fan-Fiction and Original work, Journaling, Study (anything), Code, Minecraft, Puzzles, Trains (but not like I know all about them more like I am scared of them unless I am inside one), Music, Cooking (but I have go be careful because I have Celiac Disease)

|This blog is me having fun while trying to navigate not having a job, studying, and my disabilities. This isn't going to be an extremely serious or all the time fun happy go lucky blog. This is going to just be a raw glimpse into my life. Just a small one though.|

Links: As time goes on I will have a few more links here but for now there is my Wishlist which would help a lot and would be greatly appreciated.

[lil-princesshil]

what is being a middle like for you, personally?

Sure…

Well, I don’t regress. But I am very “middle-like” when I’m comfortable with someone. I’m a bit dorky, childish, and I’ll try my hardest to bury under you if you let me lol

I don’t particularly like many “little” things - pacis, bottles, colouring etc. But I do like cute things a lot 🙃 pink, unicorns, bows, Pixar, blanket forts - stuff like that. I recently got a pair of roller skates and I love to play around on them outside. Ultimately, I really like middle aesthetics.

I have a huge need for praise. HUGE. I crave pleasing someone. I love being told I’m a good girl because I’ve done something good or I’ve made someone happy, or someone is proud of me. It gets me excited and just makes me feel good in general.

I don’t particularly need to be “cared” for the way a lot of other littles do. I don’t like having my routine planned for me, I don’t like to be told to drink my water or to eat healthy, i don’t like a bedtime, I sometimes enjoy my outfits picked out for me. but sometimes it’s cute when I’m told to go to bed and be a good girl when it’s late, or suggestions like “maybe it’s not the best idea to eat that” especially because I have celiac disease - but I like my autonomy.

But I do like the idea of someone looking out for me and my interests. Sometimes I’m scatterbrained, I lose things a lot, I sometimes just find myself confused over everyday life (I’m not stupid. And I have a good career, it’s just daily normal life things I struggle with sometimes). And so having someone that’s a bit more confident when it comes to daily life, looking out for me is really nice. I like the feeling of being protected, worried about, and cared for in general. I also like the concept of being “owned” or being someone’s.

When it comes to sex - I sometimes like ageplay, but again I have to be really comfortable with someone. But mainly it shows up in my obsession over the concept of a daddy. I love being told I’m a good girl, love when someone refers to themselves as “Daddy”, I love just saying the word “daddy”, I love when someone calls me princess or baby.

Stuff like that 🙃

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Ooh, you've got lots of ideas! What are you thinking about for an exchange? For most of these, I don't actually fully know the source material, so some references might go over my head (for Shadowhunter and Arcane and Shadow and Bone I actually know nothing so I'll definitely need context).

Options for me to infodump to you about the fanfic ideas in my head for an exchange. Also I need help with making plot to write them.

Harry Potter (Tom riddle centric + unreliable narrator take)

Tolkien (angbang centric + unreliable narrator take + ocs )

Twilight (aro twin oc + unreliable narrator take)

Shadowhunter Chronicles [ie. the mortal instruments series] (Sebastian Morgenstern au + another oc)

The dark knight [the Batman movie] (unreliable narrator take + joker centric + oc)

Arcane league of legends (throw out jinx and replace w/ oc)

Shadow and bone (throw out Alina and replace w/ oc)

Legend of korra (throw out korra and replace with oc)