#this is in the demi tags because it is my personal identities

[moreroads]

-taps the microphone-

Just because I'm ace, doesnt mean I'm off the menu.

Just because I'm aro, doesn't mean I'm off the menu.

PLEASE!!!! please, don't automatically write me off as "not wanting a relationship" or "not wanting sex" because you have found out that I am ace and aro.

ESPECIALLY, if you did not find out from me.

[lestats-ovaries]

putting in my two cents as an aroace hazbin fan to the whole alastor shipping debate (adding a cut below because this got long-)

before I start, it's important to remind everyone:

alastor is canonically ace and (semi)canonically aro, and that should be respected the same way we'd respect angel dust's identity as a gay man, or vaggie's as a sapphic woman.

"ace" and "aro", while also functioning as labels unto themselves, are umbrella terms for a lottt of identities. Some of which do include the ability to experience sexual and romantic attraction, in different ways and at different levels (demi, cupio, lith/lithro, grey, aro-and aceflux, the list goes on).

So, given all that, is it possible to interpret alastor as experiencing some level of romantic attraction, or sexual attraction? Of course, identities like the ones I listed above are just as valid as any other acespec and arospec identity.

So, what's the issue then? Right now, a lot of fans are using the breadth of aspec identities and experiences as a shield, to excuse them shipping him like they would an allosexual/alloromantic character.

Just to make it clear, that in itself is erasure. And I know that's a strong statement, and that there being such a broad aroace experience adds nuance to any statement you can make on that, but we have to acknowledge as a fandom that there are objectively wrong ways to handle aspec characters, both in the way we discuss them and in the way we portray them in fan works.

And before anyone says it, saying "alastor isn't real" or "fanon content won't change his canon sexuality" doesn't work when real life aspec people can't even look in a tag of a character that's supposed to represent them without seeing their identity erased. It's the way I feel attempting to engage with a lot of hazbin content, and I know a lot of my fellow aspec hazbin fans are feeling it as well.

So, what's the solution to all this? That's unfortunately kinda complicated. Everyone has a different opinion on what constitutes as erasure, what is good rep, how much benefit of the doubt we should give people, et cetera, and so everyone's solutions look different. In a way there also isn't a way to solve it, since aroace erasure is so normalized in fandom culture (not just the hazbin fandom; fandom culture as a whole) that there will always be a significant portion of fans who will ignore, erase, or otherwise deny alastor's or any other aroace character's sexuality.

So, to put my two cents on it:

My philosophy is that if you're going to ship alastor (or any aspec character for that matter), it's best to have an identity in mind for him to use as reference. For example, I think of alastor as sex-repulsed aroace, and I write him with that in mind. Whatever you pick can be a steadfast headcanon, an identity tailored to the story you want to tell, or one you want to explore in your fanwork, whether for fun or to educate yourself on it better.

What's better is that you don't even need to mention the sexuality itself in the work! Show don't tell is a great writing tool, and for alastor specifically, who canonically isn't aware of his sexuality, it works perfectly. Just simply creating with it in mind, asking yourself, "how would someone with [insert identity] experience this?" and going from there, makes a world of difference.

Just in terms of good fanfic etiquette, I'd also make sure to include it in the tags if you're posting it on ao3, just to make sure your readers know what's up and to help with filtering (I personally don't read any alastor ship fics that don't include the asexual or aromantic tag at this point). Bada bing bada boom, that's representation right there!

Since Alastor is one of very, very few ace characters in mainstream media, and even less aro characters in media period, us as a fandom creating good representation with him is really important, especially in terms of the breadth of aspec identities. We don't get much representation, so claiming he's definitively one label or another isn't productive, and hurts the community in the long run. Fanfiction is first and foremost an exploration of canon, so why not play around with what "aro" and "ace" can look like for him?

Case and point, I've seen some incredible ship fics that headcanon him as demisexual and/or demiromantic, and do a great job representing those identities. I've also seen some really good fics that portray him as sex-repulsed, and others that portray him as sex-neutral or positive. All of that is great, and again, even if it isn't directly mentioned: adding subtext, putting it in the tags, and even simply writing the fic with the sexuality in mind does wonders.

Me personally, I headcanon Alastor with the same identity as me; sex- and romance-repulsed aroace, but open to queerplatonic relationships. That doesn't mean fics that interpret him with a different aspec identity are less valid, or are interpreting him wrong. All of it is valid representation.

And that's not even getting into queerplatonic relationships, which is what I put Alastor into for my own headcanons (queerplatonic radioapple fic when). For that, please do your own research, but remember that queerplatonic relationships tend to look different for every couple. They can be poly, include kissing and physical intimacy, or look just like what most people would consider a regular friendship or regular romance.

So, can you ship aroace characters? Sure you can, as long as it isn't at the expense of their sexuality, or more accurately, the representation their sexuality gives to a historically underrepresented group.

That's pretty much it from me, please remember to support aspec fanartists and fanfic writers, and happy (early) aromantic spectrum awareness week for all my fellow arospecs!!

[https-entity]

GenderBlackHole

This is a gender identity derivative from GenderVoid and Agender. The place of the Gender you feel that it is a void, there's nothing in your gender place, you can't feel gender, but you can explain it as a Black Hole.

To make you understand this Genderlessness, let's use the anatomy of a Black Hole

The black hole is separated into 4 parts but can sometimes have 5 parts

The Accretion Disk - This is full of matter in the form of gas and dust. It's like a big gas cloud. As it moves, it releases ultraviolet rays, infrared rays and x-rays, which are other types of light that we cannot see.

And because of the x-rays that we detected the first black hole. When we look at a black hole with equipment that detects x-rays, we can see beyond the light, we see temperature.

The Ergosphere - Which is where the matter that is about to disappear into the hole keeps always spinning in the same direction, just like water around a drain.

The Event Horizon - There is the border where what we can observe and what we cannot. Any matter in the ergosphere that goes beyond the event horizon can no longer escape gravity, this will be swallowed into the black hole where it will never be seen again.

The Singularity - It's like a dark star. And that's what causes that massive gravitational field of a Black Hole. That has so much mass in such a small space that the density of this is mathematically infinite.

X-Ray Pulses/Relativistic Jet - Some black holes have x-ray pulses, which are emitted by gas that appears to be escaping from them, but it just seems like an impression. Scientists believe that these pulses comes from accretion disk material who managed to gather speed to escape gravity before getting too close to the black hole

And what does this have to do with this genderlessness?

Simply put: this genderlessness has a structure similar to that of a black hole.

Black Holes are the things that are most related to the Void itself, since there's nothing known inside them beside their singularity (which is the why its a Black point)

This genderlessness can feel connected with existing genders that could be them, but they cannot explain the void nor fill the void. It can be the gases being the genders/fragments of the genders that the genderlessness feel connected or just liked that where attracted them because liked them and use them as a label.

But while at the center (the singularity) is a void, a hole. This genderlessness is not demi, but the person wants to use the labels and feel connected to them, but their gender is a void.

While the Relativist Jet is their gender presentation. Be they presenting themself as a man or a woman or just in a non-binary way.

Everyone is free to remake the flag to make it more accessible or just use it on other gender systems like genderfuckoff and others. Just remember to remain it void.

Also, it is NOT a Xenogender, so please don't tag as such.

Tagging: @caeliangel, @batpoisonz, @genderstarbucks

A/N: It's been months since I made this drabble, yes, I'm posting now, when the blog hasn't even finished, but I don't want to gatekeep my coinings anymore

[our-aroace-experience]

ok so here's my ace/arospec story

ace:

i learned about being ace

oh i don't know

12 years old maybe

i searched it up after reading about it online

"aroace definition"

it went something like

"being both aromantic and asexual"

i searched up

"aromantic"

"asexual"

at first i thought it was a bit strange

i hadn't learned yet

to distinguish

between romantic attraction and sexual attraction

because i didn't know

people actually wanted sex

people actually saw someone and went

"wow"

"i want to fuck them"

i had a crush on a childhood friend of mine

at the time

(a guy. i am a girl.)

i'd always assumed i was cishet

grew up in a conservative christian household

slightly offtopic but honestly my parents were great

not stereotypical conservative christians

both allies

they had friends who were trans and gay

i'd checked out queer media from the library

and they were fine with it

anyway

back to the story

so since i had a crush on the opposite gender

i assumed ofc

i was cishet

well ofc i wasn't into sex, i was just a kid

but at age 13

almost 14

i was alone

in a hotel room, no parents, on instagram

that's the only time i could get that

late night phone time

when i didn't have parents around

i found @i.put.the.ace.in.disgrace on instagram

scrolled through every fucking post

on their account

and on the #asexual tag

i related to those posts

like

a lot

a suspicious amount for someone supposedly allo

even though i was just a kid

yeah maybe i'd grow into it

maybe i'd feel attraction one day

but not now

and who the hell was going to tell me

what i could or couldn't identify as

so i tried out the ace label

spent hours and hours

wondering if it was right

if i was really ace

if i wasn't too young

but going back to being allo felt wrong

so i decided to keep the label

the first person i came out to

was an online friend

they were so amazing and supportive of it

i love them so much for that

they said i'd been on their gaydar for a while

(a message i still think about

when wondering if i'm really ace)

felt sick the next day

i'd always been an ally

supported my queer friends

arospec aspec trans homosexual i supported them all

but it made me sick

to think about me

myself

being queer

it was sort of rough

but i got through it

later

came out to my friend and her mom

they were cool about it

i knew i'd be safe

they weren't ecstatic or super happy

but they accepted me

"cool"

that's what they said i remember it

i was a hot mess that day too

stuttered over all my words when trying to come out

and they still accepted me

i love them

later

i decided to hint at my identity to my mom

talked about not liking sex

i checked out a few ace books

from the library

my mom took me aside

i don't remember her exact words

it went something like

"it's natural to be curious

but you can't be ace at 14

you're not trying to be

are you?"

ofc

i managed to convince her i was allo

had to be more careful then

arospec:

i'd only had one crush.

one crush who i'd liked as a friend first.

you see where this is going, don't you?

well

i didn't

i'd heard that aces had not very many crushes

so i assumed i was just Really Really Asexual

and i couldn't be aro hahahaha

i'd been in love before!

aros cannot be in love!

oh by golly i was wrong

i started questioning

(only one crush?

my friends are all over their crushes

plural

and i've only had one??

maybe i'm not as allo as i thought)

i debated over gray-aro and demi-aro

picked demi

it described my experience more accurately

came out to aforementioned friend

then aforementioned online friend

they were chill about it

(fucking love them)

then i 3d printed a black ring

and a white ring

ace

and aro

and this is maybe the best part of the whole experience

i had friends who were stereotypical conservative christian

queerphobic

they complimented my aro and ace rings

and so did my mom

and that made me really happy for some reason

shit that was a long ask im sorry

thank you for sharing! i hope your mum comes around to you being aroace one day

also side note: this reads like a poem it’s so well written!

[nonbinarypolls]

Welcome to Nonbinary Polls!

[PT: Welcome to Nonbinary Polls!]

I made this blog exclusively for the purpose of posting and reposting polls for nonbinary people, as well as anyone else who fits under the definition of nonbinary without necessarily identifying with the label.

These polls are for anyone who does not fall into either of the following:

Always, wholly, and exclusively a man.

Always, wholly, and exclusively a woman.

Some polls may also be geared towards specific demographics of people under the nonbinary umbrella, such as agender people, genderfluid people, demigender people, multigender people, xenogender people, and more.

If you're looking for active polls, see the #poll or #polls tag.

If you're looking for finished polls to view the results, see the #final results tag.

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[PT/ID: A divider made of dots in the colors of the nonbinary flag.]

Rules

[PT: Rules]

You may submit polls to this blog, but they must follow these guidelines. If they don't, they may not be posted.

Your poll must be directed at nonbinary people, or people otherwise under the nonbinary umbrella.

Your poll must not exceed 12 answer options. Polls that exceed this number of options may have some options removed so they may fit the post.

Include an "other" option for people whose answer is not necessarily covered by the other options provided. If there is no "other" option, I will add one, even if it means removing an option to make space for it.

You may also want to include a "results" option for people who want to see the results of the poll so far without voting themselves. This, however, is not required.

Additionally, I may sometimes take the liberty of changing wording if I deem that terms are being used incorrectly. For example:

It/its pronouns may be considered neutral pronouns or neopronouns depending on the person. This blog considers them neutral pronouns, due to them not being new pronouns. They may be included in some polls about neopronouns when relevant (e.g. "Do you consider it/its to be neopronouns?") but may be excluded from others ("Which neopronouns do you use, if any?") due to the fact that they invariably outweigh neopronouns in polls. It/its pronouns are well established pronouns, albeit not necessarily for human use.

The terms "neopronouns" and "xenogenders" are also often mistaken for each other. I may swap one for the other if I notice that the words have been confused.

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[PT/ID: A divider made of dots in the colors of the nonbinary flag.]

About Me

[PT: About Me]

You can call me K, and I use he/him pronouns and neopronouns. Specifically, I use these neopronouns:

xe/xem/xyr/xyrs/xemself

ip/ip/ips/ips/ipself

vi/vir/vis/virs/virself

ze/zed/zeds/zeds/zedself

I do not use she/her or they/them pronouns. I'm fine with it/its pronouns only if you also use those pronouns yourself.

I'm bigender. Specifically, I'm both a man and (demi)aporagender, though my manhood is by far the primary part of my gender. If I were to split it up into percentages, I'd say I'm 100% man, with some aporagender in addition to that.

I'm also xenic, or xeno-aligned, but not xenogender. I don't consider my xeno-alignment to be a separate gender from the rest of my identity; I'm xenic because I use metaphors to describe my gender.

I don't identify as nonbinary even though I am technically under the nonbinary umbrella, because my gender is so close to binary, and the term "nonbinary" tends to make people think that I'm either genderless, or perfectly between male and female, when I am neither of those things. I don't identify with the "binary or nonbinary" dichotomy and consider it completely irrelevant to my gender.

I consider myself to fall under the transgender and genderqueer umbrellas. I only fall under the nonbinary umbrella under technicality.

[redacted-coiner]

Arissodemideity

[PT: Arissodemideity]

Also referred too as Arissodemigod and/or Arissodemigoddess.

Arissodemideity, an arissospecies(link) and arissodeity(link) subterm connected to thinking one is a demi-deity and makes the person, whether it be because of delusional or IRL attachments, being an alter that species differs from the body, psychosis, etc., feel disconnected from their external species. This is not for "fun" or voluntary "I wanna be this ✨️", this also doesn't override the external species the person has. This term is not for "transitioning" if one's transition tries to mean they can harm animals and is not radqueer or transid friendly and not comparable to transgender

These identities are NOT transid or radqueer friendly and are NOT in support for "transitioning" tips/subliminals/advice/etc. As well they don't support the fetishization, romanticization, misinformation, etc. of mental illnesses, disabilities, religions, or ethnicities. (Because these terms also understand you can't change these things)

[ID: none yet]

[ID: none yet]

[Tagging] @acetrappolaswife, @arissodic-archive, @arissomeiarchive

[Extra Tag] @arisso-lovesong

DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag.

[ginkgo-gremlin]

Lesbians/WLW of tumblr, I have a question.

tw for slurs, discussion of slur reclamation, specifically the d-word in reference to wlw/lesbians. If that would be triggering for you or if you don't believe in slur reclamation, this is not the post for you.

Background: I'm gender fluid and my sexuality is kind of this amorphous blob? I'm demi-sexual to a certain extent but I'm attracted to most genders and I'm currently dating a bisexual woman. Before I came out as non-binary I identified as a lesbian (but now I realize I'm attracted to men just not in a straight way if that makes sense? not the point of this post).

Anyway, on my more feminine days (which honestly aren't super common) I'll sometimes refer to me and my partner as lesbians, like 'damn a plant lesbian moment for real' or something similar. I realize it would be more accurate to use sapphic or wlw but I have a tendency to use 'gay' and 'lesbian' as filler words when I'm around people who already understand the nuance (like my partner, my friends and I know that we're not actually lesbians and sapphic would be more accurate but realize lesbian being said for convenience/the phrase is 'plant lesbian' not 'plant wlw') All that being said sometimes my gender identity is best described as 'extremely butch lesbian' (edit: I mean this as in I feel like a woman in the same way an extremely butch lesbian is a woman, not that I'm actually an extremely butch lesbian because the lesbian part speaks more to sexuality, not gender) if that makes sense at all lmao (sexuality and gender can be so fluid and it just kind of gets confusing I'm sorry T-T)

I've had pretty much every homophobic/transphobic slur used to refer to me, dyke being included in that (especially because I identified as strictly a lesbian for a while). And sometimes I want to reclaim it, especially when I'm dressed in a very stereotypically 'lesbian' way. Like 'this outfit is giving home Depot Dyke' but I don't want to use a word that doesn't 'belong' to me if that makes sense.

TLDR: gender fluid person (who on more feminine days is in a sort of wlw relationship if you squint and tilt your head) is wondering if dyke is an okay slur for them to reclaim as they have been referred to as that in the past.

[mammameesh]

Trope Rating Game

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded 0 - don’t care either way +10 -> very enticed nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged. Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: Depends? +3

Like are they vampires, and is brand new and one is like 402? Because I can do that.

Codependency: +1

I might give it a try for a little while, but stuff like this tends to turn me off.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +2

Maybe Obsession more than Possessiveness, does that make sense? Possessiveness tends to also turn me off.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +10

I love this pairing, sorry, not sorry.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +9

I really like Enemies to lovers. I'm doing my best to write one (also very stuck writing one). I probably could write enemies with benefits and would like to read more because it sounds hot!

Friends with benefits: +10

Some of my favorite ships fall into this category. It's like candy to me.

Sex to feelings: +15

These fics tend to be very smuty which I love and also very fluffy which I also love.

Fake dating/relationship: 9?

My neurodivergent mind needs more information. I've read some Tarlos where they were fake dating, and I loved that. I'm just not sure how it would work every time.

Friends to lovers: +10

I personally love friends to lovers. I think it does probably appeal to my demi side.

Found Family: +100

I love it so much.

Hurt/Comfort: +9

I have been on a hurt/comfort kick but I can't do all hurt/comfort because there is too much hurt.

Love Triangle: 1?

I generally don't like love triangles, but maybe somewhere out in all of fanfcition there will be one that I will like?

Poly, open relationships: +9

I personally love them when written well

Mistaken/hidden identity: 0

I probably need to read more in order to form a stronger opinion

Monsterfucking: +5

My friends, a year ago I would have said no. It depends on the writer, the ship and my bravery I think.

Pregnancy: 4

I'm a mom in real life so pregnancy doesn't phase me, again it would depend on the writer, the story, the fandom, a lot of different things.

Second Chance: +9

Idyllically I think everyone should be given a 2nd chance, but sometimes no?

Slowburn: +10

I have some beloved authors that love to write a good slow burn and I will eat that stuff up every bedtime.

Soulmates: +8 I've read some lovely soulmate AUs and would love to read more. (also I have an idea for one but like life you know?)

@a-noble-dragon; @carolrain; @demora00; @stargazer56; @ramonaflow; @jamilas-pen; @apothecarose; @ripkaz44; @flowertrigger no pressure tags. ALSO if you are reading this please do it! It is for future fanfiction!

[cosmicredcadet]

https://www.tumblr.com/kiwipopping/719602017244528641/im-sorry-but-its-wild-to-me-that-repulsed-ppl?source=share

someone finally said it! there'll be post after post on how all sex-repulsed aces are just sex-negative homophobic puritans who think allosexual gays are dirty for their sexual attraction, and how all romance repulsed aros are also homophobic because we apparently hate gay romance specifically. and these posts will literally be from other aros and aces. these people never get called out for spreading aphobic lies and misinformation, but the moment a repulsed aro/ace talks about their experiences they suddenly get labeled as a community traitor joining the side of homophobes. i'm tired -_-

tbh I have seen more people pushing against this aphobic rhetoric now-a-days as I often seen posts talking about how we shouldn't conflate Sex negative (a political position) with Sex repulsed (a personal position). But yeah, for a long while now there's been an issue with the sex positivity movement not REALLY being sex positive because so many allos can't wrap their head around people having personal issues with sex but not actually having issues with other people having sex. People conflated the idea of "someone not liking sex" to being "person is against sex for everyone and is thus a threat to sex positivity" which unfortunately is bound to happen in any movement of this size. The demonetization of repulsed people is nothing new in the community, as someone who's been IDing as Aro and ace for nearly 10+ years now. A lot of this rhetoric has been here for years, such as the "homophobic" argument which has been thrown at Aces and Aros in general by Allos because they see aro and ace identities as not being queer enough, which comes form the amatonormative idea that everyone should want romance and sex and queer rep HAS to include romance or sex less it be "censoring" it for "the straight" (this rhetoric constantly used against queer rep for younger people as well just because it doesn't include sex.) This rhetoric also takes the form of calling repulsed people "puritans" which is actually a christian fundamentalist religious ideology that people have taken and kind of watered down the meaning of to mean "anyone who might not like sex in the same way as me" which is it's own issue (Funnily enough it's also used against kids in the term "puriteen" because adults got mad that teens were upset at NSFW in spaces meant to be for kids, such as cartoon show tags and the like.)

It's kind of disheartening to say the least that in recent years so much animosity towards Repulsed folk has come from infighting within our own community. But I think it's important to not solely blame our community for it. a lot of people who get up and arms against repulsed folk have their reasons to, I mean gatekeeping unfortunately happens in parts of our community, usually by repulsed folks who try and say Demi, grey, favorable, etc. all don't count as Ace or Aro because they still feel/want sexual or romantic relationships. I for one have had someone come into my own posts trying to tell me that the "asexual community has been infiltrated by allo people" in reference to demi and grey folk, which i blocked immediately. But this kind of rhetoric causes people to become very very defensive at anyone that could possibly be invalidating them, which means when Repulsed people make a post talking about their experience in the community that seemingly contradicts the experience a favorable person has had, it is a common emotion to feel angry because to them "that's not true" for them it's been the other way around where THEY feel as if they don't belong because they've been targetted by gatekeepers. So to them, a lot of repulsed people complaining seems like "not a big deal" because they believe that we have spaces for us and are catered to within the community. forgetting that society at large hates repulsed folks on mass because we don't partake in sex or romance.

I think it just comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of each others experiences in the end. To some favorable people, repulsed people are a majority in the community and constantly being catered to + the fact that there are some aspecs and allos who question their identity and so they feel the need to defend it by adding "not all aspecs!" and "Aspecs can X Y and Z" without realizing that such language isn't as inclusive as they may think. People seem to forget that there are no spaces that are made for repulsed people. We are constantly bombarded with romance and sex in everything in life from music, to ads, to tv shows and movies, books, and online spaces. there is really nothing made FOR US. Most places that are sex free are made for KIDS which is alienating for sex repulsed ADULTS. and spaces without romance are usually for PRESCHOOLERS... which again, alienating for romance repulsed ADULTS.

I think the internet has definitely made it harder for people to realize that not everything includes them. Like, a sex repulsed person talking about their experience should not be followed up by "but some of us like sex. stop being sex negative!" Repulsed people should not have to be like "btw sex favorable ppl aren't bad this isn't about them"

people have been taking personal feelings about a subject as a personal attack on their identity, which it just doesn't need to be. People need to learn that some posts aren't geared towards them. Repulsed people NEED a space to express themselves without being told to shut up. Repulsed people NEED posts about them that don't get derailed to be about favorable people all because some ppl are worried that they are being excluded in a post not about them. Repulsed people NEED the ability to express repulsion without it being taken as a personal attack against favorable people.

Sorry for the wall of text, this ask just left open for a bit more conversation. I'm glad I am not the only one frustrated by this but also I didn't feel comfortable just posting a agreement response because I do not want to come off as being dismissive of the nuance that is really causing this to happen within the community. (or to be demonizing one part of our community like some do to us. i guess I am just willing to give benefit of the doubt to some people who may not be so nice to me.)

Either way I'm glad my post has resonated with you and maybe with more of us speaking out on this treatment we can actually start to create a space where repulsed and favorable people can coexist and both feel safe in, instead of constantly fighting each other. We are a community, after all. We should be supporting each other. not pushing each other away.

[shy-forceghost]

omg, re: aroace jillian, yesss, i am like: (see below meme) w you over the hc, it’s galaxytier, always one of my favs

do you have any other aspec hcs for other wn characters? personally i like to hc camila & mother superion, and a good chunk of the ocs as ace and/or aro without realizing it, they just think god’s being super helpful and helping them avoid ‘temptation’ lmao

i also love aspec lilith hcs and alternate between aro sapphic jillian and aroace jillian, and alternate between aro bi lilith, ace bi lilith, aroace, or aroace bi lilith depending on the mood

and then i love ace, gray or demi ace beatrice & aro, demi aro or gray aro ava hcs

also love hcing em as qprs

Hahaha loved the meme. WN really uniting people out there right?

Also thank you for this question and sorry in advance because you just opened my bottomless trunk of rants :D

god’s being super helpful and helping them avoid ‘temptation’ it's the ultimate catholic aroace girl experience (been there haha)

I also hc Camila as aspec, the scene when she says "how hot" Todd is just serves me to reassure the fact that nuns aren't blind haha, they can experience attraction (independently of gender, see my other hcs) but at the end they've taken the decision of remain celibate -or not- and that comes from their personal values/principles, regardless of attraction of any kind. * I think Camila doesn't overthink in terms of attraction because it isn't something that common for her, therefore not "that hard" for her to ignore it.

Mother Superion is one of those characters I don't feel we have enough info in order to hc her orientation, and I don't feel comfortable doing so when that happens. Honestly I see her as straight haha, one of the clearest examples of women who actually experience attraction but their love, faith, and desire for service were stronger. That happens and it's ok. Same case with Yasmine.

I'm more inclined by aroace Jillian (she never mentions romance or sexual attraction in any way), but I can see why some hc her as sapphic. In KTY's words "whatever goats your boat :D"

Yes for aspec sapphic Lilith as in "she might or might not be attracted to girls but doesn't mind, because she's just focused in other things".

And yeees! demi Bea for the win <3 There's actually an amazing fic that explores asexual Beatrice and how that happens alongside her being a lesbian (i.e. how both identities can go by hand and how religious trauma doesn't "cause" asexuality). I can't remember the name but it must be somewhere in my blog under the ace beatrice tag

I'm not entirely sure if I'll hc Ava as acespec or arospec. She actually seems -to me- like that one character of the complete opposite of the spectrum haha, either pan or bi.

*the conversation of attraction and religious women its is actually something I find deeply interesting. Having grown in a religious environment (read: being close with nuns haha) I can assure you that there's as much variety of orientations as in any other community. More than once a nun had told me that "they can find someone attractive, they just don't act about it ;)". Many had relationships before joining the church, one thing doesn't change the other.

I think that the idea that, historically, many many nuns have been queer (mostly sapphic and aspec) comes from the fact that from a very long time, religious life was the only "acceptable" role a woman couldn't take that didn't require her to marry a man. It was also a way to guarantee themselves certain grade of freedom and education, but that's a conversation for another time because this has already gotten too long and I'm digressing from your original question.

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

I just realized I haven't put up another pinned post lmao.

Hi, my name is Ace (not in real life). I use all pronouns except she/her. (Preferred: he/fae)

I'm transgender (boyflux), pansexual, and demiromantic. I don't post about being demi a lot but a lot of people forget we exist so I feel like it's important to mention.

I like drawing, music, animating sometimes, writing, politics (leftist), lgbt stuff, video essays, helluva boss, wings of fire, undertale, vocaloid, and more.

I'm on the spectrum and prefer identity first language, but I don't mind of you use person first.

I'm also fairly mentallyetc. (Depression, anxiety, an0r3x14, possible cptsd but not sure), so I post about that sometimes. If I ever forget to tag something, PLEASE comment and tell me. Even if it's an obscure trigger like cats or a specific color, I will tag it.

I'm trying to break out of certain echo chambers at the moment, so if there's a group I post a lot about but forget other groups (ex: I mostly post about level 1 autism because that's where I am, but I want to listen more to mid/high support needs people), please inform me so I can listen to more people.

The world needs change, and the first step is to challenge our own perspectives. Please challenge mine.

[deskgirl]

When I first started exploring my own asexuality (and later aromanticism), and it was pride week, I was in the tags and saw someone lamenting all the demi- and gray- ace people and how maybe they shouldn’t count as asexual because it was undermining the legitimacy of asexuality, as if somehow it would be more legitimate with only “true” asexuals. As if the gray aces and demi aces were confusing Heteronormative society and that’s why they didn’t respect asexuality.

The truth of it is that excluding people:

1) is ridiculous because you can’t just tell someone they aren’t something,

2) is ridiculous twice over because you might be able to police you own personal community (which is a dick move), but you can’t police the Community at large like that, and

3) just helps the people that hate you and every other asexual and every other LGBTQIA+ person because if you start saying “well these people don’t count,” then once you’re all alone in your little gold star club, someone’s gonna point at you and say you don’t count either.

I have very specifically watched the radical feminist movement over the last decade try to illegitimize the smaller labels included in +, erase pansexuals as a fad and pit them against bisexuals, argue down asexuality as just celibates and confused straights and low-drive LGB folks, then convince people that since intersex people aren’t necessarily trans that they don’t count even though they face discrimination and oppression from society (especially medically) due to not meeting heteronormative societal standards, then they went and said transwomen were perverts, transmen were victims, and nonbinary folks were confused, I could write a book on all the things that have been said about bisexuals—literally they have been going down the acronym like it’s a checklist and trying to chop off each letter.

Why?

We’re weaker apart.

For personal reasons, yes you should be able to both use micro labels to help understand yourself but also still feel comfortable under umbrella terms because their whole point is to encompass shared experiences. If you experience lack of attraction as part of your identity in any portion, you are under that umbrella and should feel safe to use the term. But also, people need umbrella terms because we’re stronger together. Someone who hates queer people doesn’t care about whether or not you’re a “real” asexual. They just know you’re not like them and they want you gone. And it’s easier for them to do that if they can split you up.

No one gets to decide you don’t count.

I have a complicated relationship with the concept of microlabels and more specifically aspec microlabels, because on one hand I have nothing against people who want to use a term that more closely describes their experiences it's literally none of my business good for them etc. but on the other hand I do think that sometimes people feel pushed to use microlabels because there are sooo many misconceptions about what asexuality and aromanticism actually are. so for example people who are just discovering their identity will try to connect with other aspecs, realize their experiences don't fully match every other aspec's experiences and get insecure, and that leads to interactions like "is it normal that I'm aromantic but I like shipping and romcoms?" "that actually means you're aegoromantic!" like it doesn't have to! it literally doesn't have to you don't have to identify as aego you can just call yourself aromantic! I feel like it would be way more productive to put effort into dispelling the idea that there's a 'proper' way to be asexual/aromantic instead of creating a microlabel for every experience that doesn't match common stereotypes.

and I'm gonna talk about asexuality specifically here because asexuality is still talked about so much more often (sorry to the aroallo warriors out there) but we've, and I can only assume this is a consequence of the stupid fucking ace discourse, internalized this weird idea that anyone who doesn't 100% fit into the category of 'never felt sexual attraction ever + no libido + sex-repulsed + never even THINKS about sex' either needs to use a microlabel or maybe even isn't really asexual. I've genuinely seen people ask "can I be asexual if I masturbate" "can I be asexual if I think this fictional character is hot" like YES? YES OBVIOUSLY? who is making you feel like you can't call yourself asexual point them out in the crowd for me tell me their name and their home address.

not to mention the fringe group of idiots (and I'll be real it's mostly weirdo terfs saying this shit) who are like "ohhh I feel bad for the REAL asexuals IF they even EXIST because these STRAIGHT people who don't put out on the first date are HIJACKING their community" which pisses me off so bad every time I see it. who the fuck are you to speak for me? keep your forked tongue behind your teeth etc etc.

like idk! people are totally allowed to call themselves aceflux and quoiromantic and fray and litho and whatever they want, but they should never feel like they have to! and it's become abundantly clear that some are being made to feel like they have to.

[dxncingxqueen]

✧ ━━ Romance Headcanons.

Name: Nayako Hayashi

Nickname: Naya, Koko, Nymph of the Gales, My Nymph

Gender: Cisgender Female

Romantic orientation: She's on the ace spectrum, possibly demi, but doesn't know that and has a crisis every time the subject is brought up because she always believed she needed some kind of label to attach to her identity.

Preferred pet names: She's fine with most, there are very few that won't fluster her lmao

Relationship status: She is currently with @the-ultimate-muses Gundham Tanaka uwu but that doesn't mean she isn't open for ships! Throw these bitches at her!

Opinion on true love: She doesn't have much of an opinion on it, honestly. She'd rather not argue with others about what their own feelings are.

Opinion on love at first sight: Refer to above answer lol

How ‘romantic’ are they?: Admittedly, she's a bit wary of standard romantic gestures, like roses or overly romantic dates. It mostly has to do with not-so-fond memories of her previous relationships at her old high school. That isn't to say she'll completely turn them down, though just that they make her feel a bit uncomfortable at first.

Ideal physical traits: Taller than her, which isn't very hard lmao. Other than that, she really isn't picky.

Ideal personality traits: Someone patient and understanding, who isn't quick to lose their temper. She has bad memories of that.

Unattractive physical traits: Like I said, she isn't picky.

Unattractive personality traits: Someone quick to anger and short tempered in general. She absolutely hates having to walk on eggshells, always thinking every dip in someone's mood is somehow her fault

Ideal date: This might seem oddly specific, but a haunted house date is something she's always wanted to do with someone. Her love for the horror/thriller genre isn't very well known to most people because she doesn't bring it up much, but if someone shares the same interest in her, she absolutely wants to walk through a haunted house with them. It's on her bucket list.

Do they have a type?: She seems to attract flirty goths a lot?? So I guess that?? But also she seems to gravitate towards flirty people in general lol

Average relationship length: She was in two relationships prior to attending Hope's Peak, neither of them lasting longer than a month. Gundham is the longest relationship she's been in.

Preferred non-sexual intimacy: Cuddling. She feels so much safer just knowing that the other person is there and won't leave

Opinion of public affection: She won't turn it down, but she will get very flustered and embarrassed. Not out of shame or anything like that, but more that she's just not used to that kind of treatment. Well she is but not in a particularly good way

Past relationships?: As I mentioned, she did have two previous relationships while she still attended her old high school, neither of which ended well. She doesn't like to talk about them.

Tagged by: Stole it

Tagging: Steal it

[gothred13]

Ruby

~~~~~~

My name is Ruby Red. I am 15 years old, and my birthday is the 13th of May. I use She/They pronouns. I am a heterosexual demi-girl. I am an alter in a dissociative identity disorder system. I am a persecutor, and I am a fictive from The Path (2009).

I do art, poetry and sometimes just ramble. I will tag vents if I do vent.

I made a tumblr because I am trying to reclaim my freedom, and my sense of self. I want to express who I truly am without fear.

I will not interact with those that are fans of The Path/Those who believe they "Kin" a character from it, unless first done by that person for non fictive related reasons. I will also not interact with those who are also fictives from this as it would further hurt my mental health.

I hope we can coexist on this site.

~~~~~~

RED.

[lvllns]

i didn’t put this in the tags bc like. eh. but it’s especially weird sometimes being ace and not sex repulsed because you get people going “oh so you’re not really ace then” and like. no. actually. i am.

[satanicspinosaurus]

There's a lot of good storytelling that can happen around this topic In my local ace n aro group, I've watched people flip around labels (usually messing around with the concept or demi/grey/flux) as they figure themselves out.

I know a married couple where one person was like 'yeah, they are the only person Ive been romantically attracted to. EVER.'

And of course, yes there's the favorable/neutral/repulsed axis that I myself have bounced around.

My point is, its offensive when you boil our identities down to things being convenient for you & ignore this. There's no one stopping you from saying "hey cannonically this character is X but I'm playing around with them as Y'.

You tag that, accept its OOC, have fun and run with it!

Because it looks a lot different than someone who is aroace finding out there might be 1 person who works for them, or they might be demi/grey/etc or they always thought they were sex repulsed but maybe its more neutral.

I understand that characters can be aroace and still romance or sex favorable but it always makes me very uncomfortable when non-ace/aros use this as an excuse to ship them bc it just feels like an excuse not to gaf and keep shipping or sexualizing them anyway