#this is in part why i think ppl get so nasty over it
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I've talked about if before but it's a frustrating thing that ppl get caught up on with asexuality where they think asexuality just equals "doesn't want sex" instead of actually understanding that it's about attraction.
It's a sexuality for a reason, and being asexual doesn't dictate anything else about a person, neither their libido or fictional interests or anything. It simply means not being sexually attracted to people, and the specifics vary from person to person.
#this is in part why i think ppl get so nasty over it#because they dont want to consider it as a sexuality that affects attraction and the way u view the world#the prophet speaks#asexuality
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The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)
Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence
- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends
- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]
- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)
- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick
- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)
- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body
- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)
- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really
- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)
- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down
- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc
- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)
- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex
- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl
- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while
- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"
- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships
- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results
- People liking when youre mean 2 them
- People who hate you often want to have sex w you
- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao
- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)
- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains
- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude
- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)
- People trying to 'put you in your place'
- Recognizing other lilithians immediately
- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance
- Sex obsession since a young age
- Sexual harassment unfortunately
#lilith#astro observations#astro placements#horoscope#plutonian#astrology#lilith square ascendant#lilith astrology#lilith aspects#pluto placements#tw mysoginy
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shuro notes
upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.
With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.
After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions
Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.
But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.
Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.
Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again
Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.
Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.
Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.
Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.
izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.
Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.
Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:
This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.
In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.
benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:
but even more interesting is her comic:
this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.
We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.
I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.
He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.
He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.
Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake
able to tell chilchuck was not a child
is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call
Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.
Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:
Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.
Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:
Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.
He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.
Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef
low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....
If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH
Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.
Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.
in conclusion:
think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man
jk its marcille #feminism
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GORTASH NSFW ALPHABET
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
hmm honestly feel like it depends on if hes feeling u or not. if he was just trying to catch a nut hes rude af. like before he leaves he'll throw a wet rag at u. and he used cold water to get it wet 🥲 BUTTTT if he really does like u i think he'll prolly run a bath for u both or something. i can see him washing ur hair/body for u 🥺
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
his chest duhhh lol thats why he walks around with his titties out. i think hes got a really good upper body in general. like shoulders/arms/chest. and i feel like hes an ass man. yes that means all booties ALL. he likes to spank, bite, and leave marks all over it. omggg the type to smack or pinch ur ass in public LMAO
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
yall already know im a firm believer that this man cums bucketfuls. he'll have u sitting there like "damn why is it still going" LMFAO almost exclusively wants to cum inside. to the point to where its hard to convince him not to. he wants to breed u sooo bad 😭😭
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
*NONCON MENTION* it gets him concerningly hard when u tell him no but let him do it anyway. like i dont think he would ever AGGRESSIVELY force u to do anything hence the "let him", but something about being able to change ur mind/overpower u does something to him *NONCON MENTION OVER*
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
well. i think hes an expert when it comes to pleasing himself (which is typically thru penetration, so for my AFABs if yall can finish vaginally just know he do be laying pipe 🤤) but he didnt really grow up caring about his sexual partners much lol. i do think he wants to please you though, like badly. thats the only reason hes willing to let u offer some guidance when it comes to giving oral/fingering u.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
mating press yall. like when he hooks ur legs over his shoulders and basically folds u like a lawn chair lol. also likes doggy though so he can pull ur hair and leave welts on ur ass lol.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
hes wayyyy too intense to be goofy at any moment while u guys are fuckin LMAO. like this man loves sex and gives his ALL. he puts his mf game face on and locks IN baby 😹😹
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
YESSSSSS !!!!! YES !!!!! this man is SO hairy EVERYWHERE !!!! the same texture as the hair on his head. im about to faint yall catch me
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
uhh. i can see him being kind of romantic on special occasions. but like i said hes pretty intense usually and to me that doesnt leave much room for romance lol. especially since he can be so mean too
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
yeah. like all the time. hes a hornball so if ur not around as an alternative he WILL be jizzing into his hand. omfg if yall are like, ever distanced from each other he will want to send nasty ass letters back and forth to keep him satisfied until u get back LMAO god forbid they ever end up at the wrong place
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
his office. will fuck on every surface and up against every wall. everyone else is afraid to touch anything in there 😭
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
he likes when u seem weaker than him, either in the sense that he has a physical or mental advantage over u. dont let anyone else treat u like that tho or he'll think ur a pussy lol
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
^^ as i mentioned letting other ppl have the same power over u as he does is a turn off. so if ur like me u got to grow a backbone or get the boot 🥾🤾♀️ 😭😭 anyway. i dont think he'll be willing to do anything that makes him feel "lesser" or more submissive. i mean u could probably trick him into doing it if u make him think its his idea or something LMAO
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
i genuinely think he eventually gains an affinity for giving ??? he likes the sounds u make and the way u pull his hair. so yeah, gives lots of kisses and will mutter a lot of praises while down there too. dont get me wrong though u better be giving back too 😹😹
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
rough as fuckkkk bro. doesnt ever like to be gentle. sex just brings out a lot of aggression in him. u will be sore and bruised after. if u convince him to chill out he'll be a pouty baby about it
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
anywhere and everywhere possible. i dont think its a goal of his to be seen by others while doing it but i also dont think he cares so that doesnt really stop him
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he'll try to get u to do all kinds of fucked up shit. including shit that is probably lowkey dangerous 😹😹 hes pretty sadistic so get ready gurl
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
15-20 mins max shawty lmao sorry 😹😹 and since he wants to act like a wild ape ur prolly not getting a round 2 since he wore himself out. but if u didnt get off in time he'll use his hand to help u finish even if hes sleepy 😴
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
will tease u at random times throughout the day by saying some absolutely horrendous shit in ur ear while ur in public and then acting like nothing happened. but usually doesnt want to waste much time before the act, so he might tease just enough to get u ready. nothing more though
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
heavy grunter and breather. will only moan occasionally if its really hitting right 😹😹 if u do get him to moan i can see it being decently loud. its like a reward
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
very high libido man........ prepare ur hole 🪦
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
sometimes he can stay awake long enough for aftercare but other times itll have to come after a power nap 😭 youll be like "bae how was it" and turn around to see him completely unconscious. snoring and everythang
#enver gortash#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#enver gortash x tav#enver gortash x reader#x reader#headcanons#my headcanons#bg3 gortash#lord enver gortash
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Legit Bad-take/Bad-Faith Helluvaverse critics you should not trust if you see them
Interpersonal squabbles within the critical tag are irrelevant, sorry. This here is a genuine warning against users you should keep your distance from in regards to any VivziePop drama-discourse because their names may come up and you should know what it is that crossed the line.
Starlatte/Starvader/HonestHazbinCritiques/OhGodDude and Woomycritiques/RaySquid - Serial harasser(s). Long story incoming. Starlatte was/is a Vivcritical who got involved in the fandom back in 2019/2020 when she was a minor and didn't tell anyone. Her blog on tumblr was HonestHazbinCritiques where she made some good points but also managed to find/be a part of everyone else's takes in the critical community. Her relationship with several criticalblogs turned sour when she started lashing out, talking over people, being accused of faking her age, and doing stuff like arguing with irl sexworkers abt how they should feel about Angel Dust. Whatever her age actually was at the time, she was also sending her own rewrite scripts and fanwritten episodes to Spindlehorse in order to 'fix' Hazbin. In 2021 Star returned to Tumblr under the name "Oh-God-Dude" w/o disclosing to new people who she was while also starting shit. When said new ppl found out her past and got mad at her, she proceeded to block-backtalk every one of them.
Woomycritiques (twitter handle: Raysquid) is a critical blogger who stans Star and calls everyone else in the critical community an obsessed stalker while lashing out herself. She accused others of racism (unfounded), her friends of predation just for being proship (not the 'cest and underage is good'-kind, the "I like some problematic stuff in fic-context"-kind), and heckled Dirgentlemen over how much they should hate Helluva, and more.
Regardless of if you believe Woomy and Star are the same person, which ppl do, they are both -by now- adult persons who have been asked to stop and DIDN'T, which is why people don't trust them. Star and Woom were asked to tone it down, stop making accusations and even asked by many criticals to leave and stop talking about Helluvaverse as she/they seem to have nothing good to say about it. To put that into perspective, cuz I know some HH/HB fans are gonna be reading this: the people who've self-styled themselves antis and criticals begged this person to leave cuz she had nothing nice to say and was being a nuisance. I know the stans think that's all of us anyway, so let that sink in.
LincarRox aka ToyTaker - Creep. Nasty jealous stalker freak who got kicked out of Helluvaverse servers and Aminos for saying nasty shit like how he "wants to put a baby" in Viv. No really. He took his shit and grievances to BadWebComics wiki under the name TheToyTaker while also seemingly trying to get work at Spindlehorse in order to have access to Viv directly and to 'fix' her show. He did so by faking his animation portfolio. BWW did eventually catch on and kick him out but yeah....bad. May or may not still be going under his old pseudonyms, but regardless if you see someone talking weirdly sexually abt Viv while saying they were "let go" both by SH and BWW, get out now. That's probably him.
Animation Call-Out - Bigoted shitlord. Twitter user who rags on Vivz' controversies w other people but also hates gays and BIPOCs. Admitted to submitting one of the anonymous reviews against Spindlehorse "for fun" amidst legitimate ex-employees. All of the reviews, even the ones that seem the most validating/believable should be taken with a grain of salt I believe especially since they are coming to us anonymously, but when a racist person admits to def being one of those fake reviews for "Lolz" sake, that's def when shit's hit the fan.
DoodleToons - Also bigoted creeperlooser. Altright white kid who hates BIPOC existing in anything and admits to hating Viv's stuff for their LGBTisms and 'demons'. Yes, there legit are bad-faith critics who are homophobic. Just because Viv and her crew have a way of saying that's EVERY critic of her work doesn't mean there aren't shitty people out there.
#read first paragraph#I'm not putting Lemon or Chai or whoever here just cuz u don't like em#vivziepop critical#helluva boss critical#call out post#call out tw#hazbin hotel critical#spindlehorse critical#critical fandom
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OKAY OKAY SAGAU BUT THE CREATOR IS A HUGE KPOP FAN LIKE IMAGINE THE MOST STOTIC CHARACTERS DANCING TO TWICE
ANON I HAVE SEEN UR ASK SITTIN IN MY MAILBOX AND BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-
GOD IM SO BASIC ANON I ONLY KNOW LIKE 2 SONGS BY TWICE (LIKE "FEELS" OR SMTH POPULAR), I KNOW A LITTLE MORE ITZY, BUT MY MAIN'S JUST BEEN BTS SINCE 2019😭
(send me recs pleassseeee ;-;)
Hey this'll be the last time I use colored words for characters!
I think it's a bit too distracting, and the only reason I was using them was to let ppl know if their fav was in there, but now I'll probably just use CW/TW to mention character heavy asks/fics :)
Thanks for being patient with me for so long if ur still reading my stuff :0 <3
Listen as you read?
EDIT 1/1/24: Hey I expanded more about this on my Eldritch Fanfic Part 2 post, but unfortunately I did a form of exoticism by including the term "Huangdi" inappropiately here. I have since replaced it with "Emperor" as was the original untranslated term I would've used. I'm genuinely sorry that I did this, and will absolutely be on the look out/do better in the future. I hope you can understand.
----
AGONIZED OVER THE GIFS THIS TIME THEYRE SO PRETTY AND I WANTED TO GET THEM DANCING ONE OF THEIR CUTER ERA/THEMES ALL DRESSED UP TOO-
also im so sorry?? Idky i was in such a scenario mood today??? Ig im in my exectutive dysfunction paralysis state so maybe that’s why, like it unconcoiusly wants me to waste more time not catching up on uni work??? anyway, hope u like this chaotic addon 😭
or i just love this ask sm, that’s entirely possible too <3
I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW I PUT ON A MEGA TWICE PLAYIST WHILE WRITING THIS ENTIRE THING LMAO
ok but they’d totally heard ur music tastes thru the screen right?
like just imagine-
the video game music is normalized, and to them its just another one of those “all kinds of magic in teyvat” causing the music, like the seelies wandering around all the time or elemental energy
Jean is flipping through a folder filled with the reports for the week, she’s got to get the routes ready for the week, then there’s the liyue shipments the knights need to help escort over, then checking in on any of the emergency stations/rations throughout Mondstadt for weary or hurt travelers/merchants-
She sighs, and yet another irritated thought is thrown Varka’s way in her mind, she can’t even muster the energy to make it outright dislike she’s so tired…
Jean was so concentrated she just now is starting to hear the Favonious Headquarter’s music once more, it’s peppy upbeat tune… grates like nails on a chalkboard.
and if she has to hear that damn flute for the next hour she works, she’s going to start banging her head onto her desk.
♤
Out in Jueyun Karst, Xiao is dealing the finishing blow to a flying ruin hunter
He’s huffing and stabs his spear into the ground to lean on and catch his breath, the gentle music of the peaks begins to float around him once more
The Yaksha feels the earth beneath his feet shake. Not like from his Lord, not the other adepti angered, but an enemy so large it’s stomps shake the ground he stands on
Xiao quickly straightens less he fall over, pulling his spear out of the dirt with a little more effort than it probably should’ve taken…
The high sounds of the guzheng trickle through the air, a perfect representation of the base of the slopes, trees, streams, and nature all around him
Xiao turns to face the enemy behind him, his arm popping with tired joints,
…A ruin grader, two ruin hunters, and finally regular three ruin guards, follows it. they come around the corner of the bottom of another slope, and they're still simmering with black smoke, curling off their metallic shoulders.
Xiao sees several red targets layer over his chest,
the music fades a little, but sticks around, plucking strings gently. Xiao sighs, exhausted already.
♧
Kazuha and Beidou had to redirect the Alcor from a nasty storm at sea that intercepted their usual route between Inazuma and Liyue,
the storm had practically chased them further and further down form the Inazuman islands
it wasn’t until Kazuha, from the crow’s nest, spotted fog on the waters that they realized they’d be forced to go into said creepy fog, what with the crackling looming clouds at their backs pinning them in
“Not good Captain, the fog is miles long, I’m not sure I can see a way around it…” Kazuha calls down to the deck, Beidou letting out a sharp sigh through her nose
“Damn… fucker’s not even sentient and it practically backed us into a corner, feels like we literally gotta escape the damn thing… BRACE YOURSELVES CREW, WE’RE HEADING INTO THAT FOG!”
The Alcor makes it’s way into the fog, a piano swells with a strange tune…
Beidou, Kazuha, and the crew know to listen to the music of teyvat, especially if you have a life at sea, where storms can appear in the middle of the day or other pirates could attack any moment.
The music means nothing good, but at least Kazuha can see the storm staying at the border of the fog, moving no further in, unlike themselves
“Shit… see anything up there Kazu?” the Captain steering the ship doesn’t even reach a shout, for the music has creeped out all conversation on board
“No ma’am, wait,” a chill breeze brushes through the wanderer’s white hair, he feels goosebumps jump on his neck and spine,
“…Yes! Portside Captain, land, no enemy movement yet!”
“Alright, here goes a bad idea…” Beidou’s arms flex as she easily turns the heavy wooden wheel, steering left,
the Alcor gently comes ashore, and they make anchor.
…there are no enemies, like Kazuha said, but the tune worsens, it had gotten louder now that they’re actually on the theme’s land
It plays slowly, encasing the crew of the Alcor in a paranoid quiet, and it almost has a melancholy note
Crows caw and fly off of a stone gate up ahead, they can see flickers of a strange blue light further inland, like figures carrying lanterns everywhere they go…
“Damn music, I wouldn’t feel half this anxious if it didn’t sound like we were walking into a monster infested cave…” the first mate says, the first person to break the quiet the music held over them.
“Yes, while we might need to stay here for awhile, I think we’re all very aware how dangerous this is…” Kazuha agrees, crossing his arms and squinting at the moving blue lights… the piano plays on.
☆
You open on Spotify on your computer, clicking on your favorite kpop playlist, it’s been rainy all day, so you need the peppiness of this dance playlist to actually not be half-asleep playing Genshin-
You hum along to the Korean lyrics as you boot Genshin up, ugh, ur in-game music is so loud, u forgot u turned it up last time to hear the new Sumeru music…
Turning it down, you let the Kpop songs fill ur headphones as you nod to the beat, your team materializing on screen. Right, off to do commissions first!
♤
Jean is like.. seconds away letting out a scream of frustration, anger, tiredness, loneliness, etc. her hands clenching her hair and ruining her ponytail when, thank Creator, the theme quiets down finally.
The loss of her immediate ire gone, she lets go of her hair, her hands just kind of hovering midair, not knowing what to do with herself, all the negative emotions giving her face wrinkles just melt off, leaving her stunned, blank face behind
🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶
Acting Grand Master Jean actually screams when abruptly a song in an unrecognizable foreign language, blasts into her office, around it, filling the entire Favonius Headquarters with its… cheeriness??
Jean lets her hands fall onto the desk, still in shock
..well, she quickly decides she’s grateful for the new music either Barbatos or the All-Parent had heard her pleas for…
…actually, it’s kind of,, catchy?
Jean takes out her ponytail, massaging her aching scalp, huh, she really did have it tight she’s just now noticing, she feels a small smiles appear on her face,
she actually kind of wants to do something now (she kind of hopes this new foreign bard song sticks around..)
♧
If you asked Xiao what happened in that battle he’d be hard pressed to tell you,
without going completely red in the face. LMAO
He probably wouldn’t tell the other adepti this, especially Cloud Retainer, but Xiao had definitely had to get used to fighting brutal battles to the sound of gentle summer day-esque music
Right as the aruguably, army of ruin machines spotted the Yaksha, he’d launched himself into the air to try and evade the rusted beasts, aiming his jade spear, adding winds to swirl around the staff to better boost his attack, the machines warm up, their targets moved and locked onto him midair, right as both sides launch their attack-
🎶 Geogi neo I fancy you! Amuna wonhaji anha Hey, I love you (Love ya!) 🎶
Xiao nearly falls out of the air.
Quickly recovering, he uses his anemo power to propel himself off to the side dodging, he swears to his Lord and his Emperor himself, delayed attacks, as if the machines were caught off guard too,
missiles whiz by him, exploding behind, the peppy song of foreign women’s voices sings out into Jueyun Karst bright and happy-
🎶 Geurae neo I fancy you! Kkumcheoreom haengbokhaedo dwae 'Cause I need you! (What?) 🎶
Xiao’s face goes from being confused to concentrated throughout the rest of the battle, and the worst part… it actually helps his energy levels.
and he finds himself nodding along
☆
Kazuha takes the lead, his sword unsheathed and at the ready to cut down the slightest movement before it can get to any of the crew behind him,
He’s flanked by the Captain of the Alcor herself, Beidou’s electro shield emitting a deep hum as it blocks in front of both himself, and the crew behind him
all of the pirates have unsheather their own weapons, daggers, swords, claymores, bows, their all on high alert, waiting for.. well, any enemies at all.
In fact, Kazuha hopes he sees hilichurls soon, just for the familiarity it could give him and the his crew-
the music begins to fade away.
The crew stops just shy of the entryway that was perched with crows before they scattered, the white fog hasn’t moved beyond its lazy drifting, but the creeping sounds have stopped entirely. Not good.
Captain Beidou sighs after a few silent moments, other than the quiet breathing and shuffling of weapons from the Alcor crew.
She lets her claymore sword thunk against her shoulder, and just as she opens her mouth, turning to address the all, deciding camping here will have to do for the night-
🎶Fancy! youu, ooh Nuga meonjeo johahamyeon eottae Fancy! youu, ooh Jigeum neoegero gallae Fancy! ooh!🎶
Kazuha’s shoulder shoot up to his ears in a flinch, red eyes wide, he barely stops his reflexes from taking a hard swing with his sword, several crewmembers shriek, collide with metal clinks into one another, Beidou drops low, her sword swinging off her shoulder into almost a full swing at the ground-
…
…..
……..
🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶
the music plays on, the only one making any noise as the entire Alcor crew just, stop. after their initial shock.
Kazuha’s the first to break.
He desperately tries to contain a quiet chuckle, which turns into a giggle, which turns into a full-on wheeze, as he buries his sword into the ground to brace himself on it and one of his knees
the Captain cracks by the time Kazuha wheezes, her laughter going straight to guffaws and knee slapping, her claymore shaking the ground where she stabs it to lean against
the crew erupts into laughter, both as the peppy foreign song echoes into the mysterious fog, and Beidou’s ridiculous laugh, as always
they don’t recover until two songs later when there’s finally a slow kpop song, Kazuha’s had to sit down, tears streaming down his face, Beidou’s half-dead, wheezing out complaints about her stomach, as the crew keep sending each other into more and more laughter right as they think they’re done.
They decide their Akitsu Mikami must have the best sense of humor and must just be sitting on their celestial throne pranking some of their subjects from time to time, and the Alcor crew find themselves all the more appreciative for it, their nerves entirely gone about the island
Kazuha and Beidou are constantly asking other bards they meet to try and see if anyone can recreate the song for the crew sometime they liked the beat and the memory so much, Fancy by Twice will still get a laugh out of Beidou and Kazuha, and they’d quickly let you in on the inside joke so you’d be a part of it too (afterall you did it lol)
♡
NOW MORE IMPORTANTLY, BC IDK IVE BEEN ON A SCENARIO KICK LATELY?? SORRY IDK WHY U GUYS KEEP GETTING SCENARIOS-
There’s only TWO 2 CATEGORIES THAT MATTER HERE-
◇
Who’s DANCING!! w/o u needing to do anything but play the music:
NILOU (she got those choreos done in like, an hour flat everytime u teach her, shes always begging for “just one more dance lesson Greatest Lord? 🥺”),
YUNJIN (difference betweeen the two dancers is that nilou asks :) → yunjin lowkey demands, she like always gets u into a situation where you have plenty of time to teach her and feel obligated, u just got gaslight gatekeep girlbossed into teaching her another kpop dance LMAO), they also see it as they’re (literally) god-given job to dance better than any idol you’ve seen do it before, esp when they recruit groups of other dancers to join for group choreos
Yoimiya! cutie #1, CHILDE, amber, eula, ITTO, bennett,
Collei (but shes shy u gotta encourage her),
Diona (cutie #2),
FISCHL (would form an actual group to dance all the choreos like a real kpop group),
Gorou (shy #2, needs encouragement),
Kazuha (tbh I think he’d have fun and be weirdly good at it, fem or masc dances),
Ayaka (shy #3, needs encouragement and would rather die than dance in front of ppl other than you),
KLEE CUTIE #3, NAHIDA CUTIE #4,
Qiqi (but u gotta teach her slow bc she needs to memorize it, and also it takes her a bit to write down the dance steps in her journal so she doesn’t forget as much),
Razor (another person i think would just have fun with it! also he’d do it but it would be very, aggressive? like making finger hearts but violently shoving his arm out at ur face lmao),
HEIZOU (shutup he’d actually be good at it and brag- and flirt at you-),
Aether (shy #4), VENTI, xingqiu, xinyan, KAVEH
BARBARA (she literally stalks u around Mondstadt all like “oh hello your highness! just happened to walk by you and was wondering if you heard any new of those “kpop” dances, you know I’d LOVE to show it off at my next show-!” like she hasnt been a block behind you the entire day 💀)
♡
WHO YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE TO DANCE LMAO-
babygirl Wanderer (he literally surveyed the area before he finally let u teach him any moves, and refused to any sort of dramatic moves, like fem or masc),
Alhaitham (but only like a small part of a guy group choreo like a bit from God’s Menu or smth, he was too lazy to do anymore even for u lol),
Cyno (dammit some of these bitches look way too good doing even girl group dances-),
Diluc (u got him to do like, a pose. LMAO and he saw Kaeya in the distance and quit immediately LMFAO),
Kaeya (but it didnt take much convincing, if anything it just took forever to teach him, he’s talented in footwork for swordfighting but apparantly not dancing, at least not modern dances he tripped so much ur convinced he did it on purpose at one point so he’d fall into your arms again lol),
Ganyu (super shy, wont do it around anyone but you, and maybe Shenhe),
speaking of Shenhe (she just took awhile to teach bc she wanted to stay upright a lot, kinda stiff),
Keqing (once again, another who’d only dance when it’s just u two lol),
Yae Miko (she just wanted to learn the whole choreo that’s what took so long… and now she’s making comments like “My goodness, my god wants me to dance for them? They’ll even show me how? Oh, now I must do it perfectly so I can satisfy you, my Kami.” STOP TAKING THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT UR TEACHING EVERYONE-),
Ayato (he’s acts so theater gay he refuses to do anything but the girl group dances/fem dances lol),
SARA (easy, give her ur strongest, saddest pout and she cracked like glass, u got her to do a whole dance with u/she actually got into it too, its her secret guilty pleasure now lol),
Kuki (did one sort of move then got BARRELED OVER by Itto’s crazied boy group acrobatics he likes so much, u know the backflips over each other type of ones? yeah. ),
Ei (the god herself/not the puppet, catch her never doing that lol, she tried but didnt, get it? she’s also pretty stiff, but she looks like she’s having fun so u just keep teaching her moves, and she likes that its you teaching her something new),
Thoma (shy #5 ? idek what number we’re on anymore lol),
TIGHNARI (u nag that bitch so hard he nearly throws a drink at you to get u to stop bothering him- NO he does NOT think those dances would suit his ears- dammit he wont do that dance, no matter how much he likes you- DAMMIT MY LORD-),
Xiao (if u thought nagging Tighnari was hard, this is like nightmare mode, not only does he not wanna do the dances, but he also wants to understand WHY u want him to dance each and every move- !! bc he would “look cute or cool”?!?!!?!!! …yeah he’s gone, he went so red u cant even get him back with tofu),
Zhongli (would like, be so confused on how to make his body do that, that he ended up just sort of posing, at least he looks cool)
♡
(anyone not on these 2, u did, in fact, not manage to convince, yes, even if their god asked them to, nor are they doing it of their own volition lol)
WHAT THE HELLLLLLL-
THIS IS SO LONGGG IM SO SORRRYYYYY
ANYWAY HOPE SOMEBODY LIKED THIS, DW ILL STOP THE WEIRD SCENARIOS AFTER THIS ASK I JUST GOT IN A PHASE I DONT KNOW WHY
also, im like, three weeks away form graduating uni? NICE, soon i will be free to assault u all with responses mwhahahaha (rubs my little gremlin hands together)
Safe travels,
💀 ♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk
#so long#srry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#genshin impact#genshin sagau#hope somebody got a kick outta this#and srry if the scenario switches were confusing#idk if anyones aware but i did mention way back when#like in january that i was using this blog both to do smth i love#and to practice writing stuff :)#ask box open#sagau#my asks#genshin imagines#gender neutral reader#genshin isekai#genshin impact sagau#genshin impact self aware#genshin impact reverse harem#no even gonna hide it anymore they love u#just try and stop me bitch#(except for the minors/literal children they just have a squish on u#aka a platonic crush)#unless u state otherwise in the ask#everybody is deeply in love cant stop em just join em#genshin scenarios
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i'm sure you've described them before but i can't find anything on it so, could you describe the skate squad's powers if they have any?
idk if would say powers moreso just abilities BUT
Ponti with his HUGE ARMS can smash rip tear crunch squish impale ect. his bigass tail can put a hurtin too he can easily hold down a body under there, His ears can hear for miles if he really focuses, and finally his infamous death roll which is basically a gator death roll where they latch onto a limb and twirl tf outta their body
Abios eye has a bunch of phycological powers (oops) and can infiltrate the frontal lobe and get into someones head, see memories (spoiler alerttttttt 👀👀), and can manipulate feelings by controlling the brains chemical production, and probably a lot of other cool brain stuff i gotta get back on my neuroscience im rusty 😔 his eyelashes also emit pheromones that aid in all his succubs stuff but its close range
Ollie n his big brute strength ofc the fact that orcs are naturally super buff n strong but also his demon features where he does the thing similar to Gandalf when he makes the room all dark and terrifying when he's not fuckin around (it was heavily inspired by that) Ollie can make a room go cold and dark from his '''aura'' for lack of better word. His presence gives you the same chills as seeing a ghost and makes you hallucinate ect. That why when he does that ppl typically get too caught up in their body's fight or flight overdrive to be able to think clearly. I'd like to think he gives off Large Animal presence like as if u were in front of a horse or lion and that feeling is amplified when hes indoors lmfao AND he can also 'get in the head' as well like he can say some demonic shit that echoes off of the inside of the skull and can shake the very core of the soul (probably sounds like Sauron in tha head)
Kariiii has her dragon fire that's super hot and glittery so she can be a lil master of illusion if she wants. I'm thinking abt giving her gecko hands n feet so maybe she can climb on walls too if not she can still climb with her wing claws. She can lick her eyeballs and shes also got some fairy pizzaz that kinda works like a special 'aura' as well. She does have a hoarding pink things problem but she makes sure its at least presentable for the most part pfft
Remy oh bOI he doesn't have much goin for him but i think hes kinda got what Ollie's got just to a miniscule extent like he can make the room feel uneasy if he's all sulky and angsty but its only enough to mildly scare or irritate not so much 'strike fear into the hearts of men' cause hes also got that everlasting shadow over the eyes
he can climb like a monkey with his tail ( so can Abby) so ig he's rlly good at parkour
Oscar's got his slime that can be a blessing or a curse when it comes to sticky situations and in the water he's kinda a menace he is SUPER agile and uses his ears for fins when he swims. He's got a 2nd jaw in his mouth for grabbing prey and those teeth carry a nasty bite
Vinny may be soft n fluff but he's also got his lil needle claws and teeth and can be really flexible and agile as well cause son cats WILL fuck u up when theyre angry
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Wait, rhys can forgive nesta because "illyrian at heart". I did some logic:
Rhys forgive Elain = Elain has no illyrian heart
Rhys couldnt forgive Nesta = Nesta has illyrian heart.
So does that mean
Rhys dislike illyrian = Rhys dislike Nesta = Rhus couldn't forgive Nesta = Nesta has illyrian Heart
He dislike illyrian when he, himself half illyrian? Not surprising but it make me thing Rhys is a High-Fae-boo (idk inspiration from try hard people wanting to be korea = koreaboo)
P/s: Please, any mathematics major, let me know if my logic is wrong
In a way yes, they all are because despite how cool and exotic sjm wants us to see the bat bitches being ⚔️ ILLYRIAN ✨ as, those benefits are exclusive to TheGoodOnes™
They get to be deadly warriors and have special clothes and sooo many siphons and huge dicks wings and they get to be ambiguously poc for white women to feel spicyyyy about
But only them and only those superficial things.
Despite being characterised by their less fortunate years, Rhys became HL at 30 and brought up Cassian and Azriel to be his overpaid helpers immediately.
That means (Amarantha years excluded) they have been the richest and most powerful people in their court for more than 400 of the 500 they have been alive
The reality of being "lesser Fae" or lower class/ bastards/ poor/ being part of a culture that glorifies war and harms it's ppl, has not really played as big a part in their lives as what sjm insists
They don't live in it, they don't deal with it, in fact, they benefit from it
They are free to not just feel their internalised racism, but allowed to physically, emotionally and mentally set themselves apart. Above.
And they spread it to their non-illyrian "family"
These men and the women they teach to mistrust and fear and hate Illyrians are the government, they have and will continue to have influence over the lives of the Illyrian ppl as a whole for CENTURIES if not FOREVER
Feyre, the High Lady, is taught to think of those people (almost third of the population, a racial minority and the poorest + most underprivileged people in the whole court) as savage brutes when the only Illyrians she personally knows are Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel themselves. She should at least love some Illyrians and their culture since appropriating it was such a big part of her healing and growth
But instead of frustration and sorrow spurring her into action to help raise Illyrian women from their oppression/ helping set up a more standardised living conditions for non-nobles/ even meeting the nobles to learn their culture and begin to find some way forward - she sighs, curses them as proud savage brutes and carries on flying around velaris in her culture vulture wings
I don't think sjm was really going for anything other than a vague "Nesta is nasty and tough, she'll be fine, I just don't like her" when she made Rhys say that but god does it reek
I don't think Nesta should be celebrated as Illyrian, even in a "good" way. She's not Illyrian. Her very nature is ominous to their culture and we should respect that. (I love Nesta but at the end of the day she is an extremely powerful high Fae who is sister to the HL, and a white woman, she won't die just because they call her a witch)
Part of this is why I wanted Cassian (who despite his problematic attitude and position, is the closest culturally to Illyria) to end up with an Illyrian woman. Centring a brown Illyrian woman as a love interest would be the closest this garbage series would ever get to acknowledging those women as important people and not just plot devices.
So, really the statement "Nesta is Illyrian at heart" or whatever he said, is like everything else surrounding the Illyrians: lazy and not well thought through, and just racist.
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💕 Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile 💕 - @mikichko 💕
Hehehe hi baby! Okay so gonna get a lil gay(er) so under the cut we go! (Did the 3 ppl I care about at the end)
5 things I like about myself
Physically:
1. my beauty marks (I have like 6ish on my face and a big one on my upper lip)
2. my gapped teeth! took me getting braces just for my teeth to shift back a lil to finally think my teeth are unique/special to me lmao (special mention to my ass tho it really does go crazyyyy)
Non physically:
3) my intelligence (interpersonally, emotionally and academically), I think my way of thinking is unique to me and has allowed me to be on incredible platforms and spaces to share my thought processes
4. My creativity!! Who I am and will forever be is an artist. My connection to my life and the world will always start with viewing things as an artist first and foremost! So that gives me a layered view about beauty that I think is unique
5. My capacity to love and hate in equal measures 💀 one thing about it and two things for sure I’m all in when it comes to hating or loving someone or something. It may seem toxic but my word is my bond and my actions are something I never want misconstrued. Also I may not know what it’s like to be ‘in’ love but I can give love like nobodies business lol
3 people I care deeply about:
1. Xavi!!
I’ve already told you and Jess how much I adore you, but I got derailed and never got a chance to cry all over Xavi’s inbox lmao. I appreciate him so much because it’s just been so easy to just talk about shared experiences and get both an honest raw opinion but no judgment. I love cracking jokes and feeding off of each others energies to one up the other on the crazy nasty shit we can say lmfao.
I’ve learned a lot from him in such a short amount of time. Having someone be very vocal about not allowing me to make myself small or even challenging some of the stuff that is still toxic/unwoke from my upbringing has been really impactful for me. I don’t feel like I have to be perfectly together on a pedestal with him and it does still make me wanna balk in terror but I love my lil angel face 😭
2. Wren/Void!!
Not that I don’t appreciate them both and recognize them as separate individuals but they are like the fun part of a Kit Kat when they’re together lmaoo!! Both are so immeasurably cool and I’m fascinated by their brains so much!
Wren is such a sweetheart and the one person I think I would like to hug without absolutely having a touch repulsed avoidant fit about it lmaooo. They are so kind to me and half my jokes are because I’m trying my best to make them laugh so I cackle while typing often. I don’t think we would be allowed in the same room or else we’d for sure start some shit 😭
Void puts my wack ass cool girl attempts to shame. I literally sigh wistfully like damn why can I not shut the fuck up and be half as interesting lmao. Through engaging with them I’ve inadvertently been able to put a name to a lot of things about myself that has haunted me for years. I’m someone who is obsessively logical so even if it doesn’t make my experiences less valid, knowing I’m not making shit up is a relief. Love that I don’t have to perform attachment with them!! It’s just a head nod wassup and go lmfao!
It’s fun kind of being ships passing in the night engaging at random with them and telling jokes. Really is a highlight of my day and is again no pressure so that’s a vibe for me
3. GEMMA!!!
Another person who I admire!! Hope I don’t get punched for saying this but she holds an online older sibling slot to me in my head. I’m very happy to hear her thoughts/beliefs and she’s so sweet and caring it rots my teeth 🥹
I still feel very inadequate when faced with her truly immaculate organizational skills and her writing is so utterly phenomenal. watching her engage and work things out has been so refreshing and I’ve learned a lot! I hope to be as smart as her one day and maybe even a quarter as graceful when I decide to finally act like an adult lmfao. For now I’m content with being her cheerleader so GO GEMMA GOOOOO 📣🥳
I sometimes laugh because I’m like whoa, how have I not irritated her yet with my chaos and constant emotional whiplash lmfao. But nonetheless, I adore Gemma so much she’s one of my lil pockets of sunshine on here even if I don’t say it enough!!
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alleged comments? girl they’re on video look it up yourself. tbh there’s no situation in which trump deserves any respect after everything that he’s done. he’s a rapist, racist, misogynist, homophobe, criminal, and the list could go on and on. it doesn’t matter what he’s done but everyone knows the type of man trump is and he does not deserve an ounce of respect. i understand lando having to be polite and having to shake hands and greet him because of the team and that’s fine. other drivers have also had to do that with questionable political people on podiums and stuff and you can’t blame them if they won’t actively speak out against it because it’s not always safe to do that. but the way he went on about trump in the interview was different from that. he could have brushed it off without saying anything bad or insult him but he didn’t. it’s okay to like a driver even when they make mistakes but you should be able to at least hold them accountable and hold them to the same standards you hold other drivers, especially ones you don’t like.
He's an absolutely despicable person with no redeeming qualities I agree, so why did over half of america vote him in? And then almost again 4 years later? For the same reason that other misogynist racist homophobes are working in formula one. People turn a blind eye if it makes them rich. I could make you a list of all the problematic ppl currently in f1 (incliding drivers) and if you put them all in jail, trust me there would be nobody left.
Anyway I do want to hold lando accountable, not because he actually believed anything he was saying (it was a PRESS conference! Most of what they say is pre agreed with their teams especially thing like this) but because I think this is a good opportunity to actually get some backlash and be obligated to adress it and maybe do something good. Idk either condemning trump, firing zak brown (wishful thinking I know), limiting the presence of political figures at races idk...
Small other thing, personnally I know what lando's like, he gets anxious and giggly at the best of times, so meeting someone like trump is incredibly awkward for him especially if he happens to not like him, and then having to talk about it in a press conference, no matter what is previously agreed with the team, could only lead to disaster. He was indeed smiling the whole time and over doing it with the reverent tone, but his body language suggested to me that he was incredibly uncomfortable with the whole thing.
And although lando is the catalyst, he is basically like a child driving a car (idk if y'all are familiar with the mataphor if not, just ignore) and I truly don't believe any part of this situation is his fault. He shouldn't have been put in this situation in the first place and he's taking the brunt of the citicism that should be put on the team (again, zak brown if you can hear me I know where you live). I can imagine Oscar would have done the exact same thing, maybe just not as clumsy with the statements.
Edit: just a disclaimer, I do not idolize lando, I don't think he can do no wrong, he's immature, a dick, and I don't like the way he interacts with his mates, and frankly I would fuck nasty and leave fasty bc he's hot and bendy but his personality? Meh. He's also a good driver and everything but yeah, anyway i'm rambling now so... bye
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Saving Someone Worth Dying For (Trigun 98) fic
content: Basically, Wolfwood gets saved. By Obsidian (OC) just jumping in the way and taking the hit for him. All for Vash to show up with the lost technology pod that manages and repairs the current experimental weapon that loves both these dumb dudes. Violence and blood and emergency first aide apparent. Mention of death. Mention of killing. Mention of experimentation. OC is a character that has been experimented on to now be part Plant, part other, part nanomachine cyborg. With added lost technology that is a medical pod that doubles as a travel vehicle. (since Trigun 98 has the extra weird lost tech shit and random cyborgs and stuff everywhere so why the heck not I say)
// Y'know that thing where you miss spell entire sentences cuz your fingers can't keep up with your brain so it comes out like alphabet soup? Yeah hence the name of my writing side blog ppl //
The shot rang out in the empty streets for blood to answer. Wolfwood going wide eyed as Chapel collapsed for my knees to hit the unforgiving ground. A rasp escaping my lips as the blood spattered over the dirt. Yet Wolfwood was soon leaning me back with a look of pure shock. His hand clapping over the bullet hole in my chest to then start fuming at the top of his lungs. "You stupid idiot! What the Hell were you thinking?!" Wolfwood snarled to put his forehead to mine as the tears fell from both our eyes. Yet I simply panted for air as the wind brushed past us to trace through my whitening hair.
Wolfwood soon had his coat off to bunch up the material and press it as hard as possible into the hole in my chest. Looking both furious and heartbroken as he spoke with all that pent up fear and adrenaline. "Even cybernetic nanomachines can't patch a bullet to the heart in time to keep you alive, Marsaili! Do you want to die or something?!" I got a half smile to rasp out, "Or something..." But that just got Wolfwood even more worked up to grit his teeth and hiss at me. "Damn you for always being a smartass! Damn it all to Hell! How is saving me from my own past going to work out when Vash kills me for getting you six feet under?! You even think before you jumped in the way to keep my insides from getting blown out of me?! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
I shivered as things got colder for Wolfwood to give a rending sob. His eyes streaming hot tears as he watched me bleeding out in front of him. "You shouldn't have saved me! I should be the one laying in my own blood! But you just had to- You just had to protect me! You just had to forgive me for not telling anyone about- You never should have forgiven me for- Dammit, Marsaili! I'm not worth you dying for! Not when I made the mistakes and should pay the price!" My sigh is one of loving patience as Wolfwood gives a hard sob that sounds like it hurt his throat. But he soon kneels down to shift me so I'm laying against him for both his hands to cover that bullet hole that's weeping as much as his eyes are by now. "Damn you, Marsaili. I'm so sorry. I should have asked for help instead of leaving all of you in the dark. But I believed it wasn't a real option. And now you're... You're paying for my sins... God, I never wanted this..."
Somehow, I had known all along we'd end up like this at some point. From the moment I'd woken up in that long forgotten science lab on an abandoned SEEDS ship taken over by some nasty plotting villains to have been changed by lost technology and scheming evils. The nanomachine enhancements combined with infusions of Plant cells and hardwired metals along my spine and only God knew whatever else was done. With several people from a different SEEDS ship getting me awake and out of the portable medical pod on wheels. Vash had been there to be the first one I saw upon waking. His smile full of relief and sadness to have him tell me he was there to protect me. A vow he kept for this entire time I'd been on this dustbin of a planet. yet I had known in the back of my mind that something like this was inevitable. I had been remade into a weapon slash survivor. The scriptures I still held faith in say 'those who live by the sword shall die by the sword' for a very good reason. You don't fight and protect and kill and exist in a war zone to expect to die peacefully of old age. Yet I had never wanted to have such hurt one of the few people I love. Something that I knew Wolfwood felt that same way over. But it wasn't something we could avoid easily or find a loophole to. Hence why I had accepted my death long ago.
Thankfully, my plan had not been to charge in alone. I had told Vash to be ready for the worst and to get my medical pod that doubled as a traveling vehicle geared up for the fight that was approaching. So it didn't take long for Vash to come skidding up from the main road in that very vehicle to park it right behind Wolfwood and open the medical pod carrying surgical supplies. Yet Vash did look terrified the moment he saw Wolfwood and myself to immediately get out the transfusion blood and secure the IV line into connector at the back of my neck for such emergency transfusions. Vash looking a mixture of petrified and furious as he kneeled down in front of us to shine a pen light into my eyes. "I hate it when your right, Marsaili. Just had to sprint off for me to try tracking down with the barest hint of where the fighting was. Both of you are going to scare me to death one of these days. Also. You are a fucking idiot, Nick."
Wolfwood gave a hard huff that might have been a laugh to look to Vash with a gaze that screamed his heartbreak and regret. His words also full of rending sorrow as Vash ripped open the packaging for the medical bandages. "I know that now... In all the ways you'd point out over beating me to a pulp. Just keep her alive, Vash. I don't care if you have to use me as an organ donor. Just save our Obsidian Angel..." Vash took a second to whap Wolfwood over the head before he continued with the emergency first aide. "Shut up. You're not doing that now or ever. For one thing, you are a different blood type than her. Secondly. I'm not about to kill the guy she gave everything to save. So cork it and help me-"
It was then that both of them realized someone was standing behind us. The click of a safety sounding out as Chapel stood there trembling from head to toe. Making Wolfwood gasp to draw his pistol and point it at Chapel as Vash switched out the coat for actual sealing bandages to the hole in my chest. Wolfwood snarling in pure hate, "Don't even think it, you bastard..." But Chapel all but convulsed on his feet to gasp and growl out, "I'm not! Legato! It's Legato making me move! Nicholas! Take the shot!" Wolfwood didn't need to be told twice for him to empty his gun. But he shot Chapel's hands, elbows and knees. Having the former teacher slash threat fall to the ground without any real ways of moving. Much less any ways of shooting anyone else. So Wolfwood set his gun back down as Vash got the oxygen tube down my throat and deep into my airway to have me shiver at how much that hurts. With Wolfwood shifting me so Vash could work easier as I fought to cling to the waking world and life. The oxygen tank set by us as Vash finally took a good look at me. His grimace deepening as he grit his teeth. "God... Marsaili... You still with us?"
I gave a huff to blink my eyes open and look to Vash through a haze of pain and numbness that meant I was still alive enough to be rightly not happy. With the nanomachine AI program built into my brain giving me a read out of just how bad my insides were. But since the oxygen tube was currently in my throat and all the way down to my lungs, I wasn't speaking anytime soon. So Vash took the hint to shift so he grabbed my legs. "Nick. Lift her up and help me get her into that lost tech pod. It's got scanners and an AI program that will be able to converse with us over how bad Marsaili is." Wolfwood nodded to then heft me up so they could move me. The vehicle shifting and all but unfolding in various sections for the medical pod to open up like a table. The wires and mechanical claws soon doing their thing to connect to plugs and skin as I got laid down. The computer monitor flicking to life for several displays to glow and start processing. While Vash soon brought the hand tablet out to read over as Wolfwood all but laid himself next to me to watch as the pod unpieced my top to get better readings while I relaxed into the table.
Vash watched with unblinking eyes to then shudder and huff out a held breath. A few more bags of transfusion blood soon added to my veins via the pod's whirring machinery for Wolfwood to finally speak up. "Just missed everything vital by a hair. Is that what you look so relieved over?" Vash gave a few panted breaths before answering. " I was so sure that bullet ripped open the bottom of her right ventricle. Or worse and ripped through her septum that separates the right ventricle from the left. God does work miracles..." Wolfwood shuddered to then ask, "How bad though?" Vash shifted to all but collapse into the driver's seat of the vehicle to rub at his eyes. "Nicked the epicardium close to the apex of her heart. But it's more a bare scratch instead of a hole or worse. We are never getting that lucky again." Wolfwood let that hit him to have him all but go limp into my side. His arms coming around after the table adjusted to automatically take his weight to hug me and have him start crying without a sound. The AI program that had some sentience to it crackling over the computer speaker system with that same stoic yet sarcastic voice. "Lucky in the sense that this AI running the nanomachines had enough microseconds to shift her heart that much and away from a fatal hit. Both of you need to stop with this teenage drama bullshit and get on the same page. Unless you enjoy having the few actual resources this medical pod has built in get used so frequently."
Vash didn't have the energy to argue as my own thoughts got translated to come over the speakers. But my own words were a bit more forgiving. "They got that already and will do so from now on. So instead of the lecture, let's plan for the next steps. Legato is aware of what's happened. Probably pissed off that his plan just went to shit. So I vote Nick and I go off radar and we act like I'm basically dead for the pod to get two of us gone to the closest SEEDS ship." Vash felt that hit like a punch to the gut to then sigh as Wolfwood gave a growl of noise. But Vash nodded to then swipe a waiting bottle of potent rejuvenating mineral water to chug it down and then stuff a huge chunk of dried meat jerky into his mouth to chew. Wolfwood soon sitting up to turn his gaze to where Chapel was still on the ground and shivering for Wolfwood to then nod. "It's a plan we can do. I stay with Marsaili to make sure she gets to the help she'll need long term. You take my Punisher and supplies to kick Legato's balls in and then beat your brother. We meet back up once the fighting is over."
The moment lengthen for Vash to soon be up on his feet and on my other side. His arms soon going around Wolfwood and myself as the vehicle doors closed to start driving us towards a drop off point. Having already used those several dozen wires to drag the Punisher to the vehicle and secure it on the roof. So Vash held us tight as the AI program got us going. Wolfwood gripping Vash's coat as he choked on a cough. "Vash... I will make this up to both of you. No dying or risking us anymore. Just... God... Come back in one piece. Don't let Legato or Knives or any other fucked up bastard hurt you or anyone else." Vash nodded to then get that serious air that spoke of his conviction as much as it did his righteous fury. "I promise you both. Nicholas. Marsaili. No more hesitating. The next time I see Legato... He will die... Even if I have to rip his damn head off to then crush his skull under my foot... No more watching as this evil ruins my family or my friends... No more hoping that this evil will let the ones I love stay breathing to then have that evil sunder all I love... I'm done betting on your lives and on hope that is too risky... This ends... For good..."
#Trigun#Trigun 98#Vash the Stampede#Nicholas D. Wolfwood#Trigun OC#trigun fanfiction#Trigun fanfic#Trigun 98 fanfiction#Trigun 98 fanfic#trigun fic#fanfiction#fanfic
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stripedroseandsketchpads replied to this post:
1) I’m very sorry to hear about the fandom sexists (god are they everywhere—“nasty woman” much? They sound like Andrew Tate, jfc!)
Thanks! Certain parts of Austen fandom are fairly conservative and very gender-normative and that's definitely come up in response to that particular fic before. First Impressions was my most popular Austen fic on AO3 for years, but other parts of fandom struggled more with the idea of a f!Darcy who does pretty much everything that canon Darcy does being desirable to a man, or appealing to anyone at all.
(In fairness to them, some of those spaces ended up actually having conversations about why Catherine registered as colder and more unpleasant than Darcy even when doing exactly the same things, interrogating their own double standards, etc.)
This isn't the only reason to dislike the fic or Catherine, of course—I made my other post late last night when I was tired and forgot to clarify that! It's from 2010 and definitely has flaws. It's just that there was (and apparently still is) a very glaring divide between the responses from the more progressive and queerer side of fandom and the more conservative and heteronormative side, wrt Catherine in that fic specifically (even though it's a het fic!).
2) Your fic concepts are impeccable, I followed you for genderbend blogging and I really need to spend sone time trawling your AO3
Thanks! I have written a ton of fic over the years, so some are definitely weaker than others, but I have fun with them.
Also, my experience is that most people are very much not here for genderbending, so that's really nice to hear!
Also tbh as a lesbian often writing lesbians… “step on me” any time a woman is the tiniest bit not-nice or does anything perceived as “mannish” (including being the tiniest bit not-nice) doesn’t feel much better…
it feels like ppl think femdom is “taking the most toxic possible iteration of misogyny in D/s dynamics w a male dom & female sub (bc obv male dom/female sub can be perfectly fine!) and flipping it so the man is in the ‘girl role’ and the woman is in the ‘male role’” and. Heavy sigh. A lot of AO3 comments give off the vibes of “She’s totally a bitch but I can say that bc I like it and think it’s hot. Feminism!” RIP.
Hmm. It really depends on context for me. My experience with it has come pretty overwhelmingly from other queer people, primarily queer women—that may reflect my social circle!—and that feels very different to me than an environment overwhelmingly dominated by straight women being like "ew, a woman acting like Darcy is so awful."
Like, sometimes it does definitely give a "me finding anything between slight assertiveness and mass murder in a woman hot is totally praxis" vibe that's annoying. But annoying in a very different way!
I will also say, in fairness to the AO3 First Impressions commentariat, that they did not literally say "step on me, Catherine," lol. I was just quickly characterizing the sort of vibe there—it was more like "I'm gay for Catherine" "you managed a female Darcy without making it feel like she's being punished, awesome" "Miss Darcy is a gem" "one of my favorite versions of Darcy" "I have a crush on Miss Darcy" "fem!Darcy 4ever and ever amen" etc. So the contrast with the "I don't get what Henry sees in her???" "I guess he wants to be dominated because he's weak" "Darcy could never be a woman" etc is just very sharp.
#stripedrosesandsketchpads#respuestas#nice things people say to me#fic talk#fic talk: first impressions#austen blogging#austen fanwank#a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide#catherine darcy#general fanwank#lady anne blogging#genderbending#long post
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ballad appreciation post
i’m so happy :D. i’ve watched ballad twice this week. the second time i watched it w my brothers i didn’t have anything to say about it bc i was mostly just on edge about not getting kicked out of the theatre but since i teased a breakup over this Boyfriend was on his best behavior so i actually got to watch the movie without anyone asking a million question a scene. in related news we have another lucy gray truther on our side. here are some of my thoughts
1. tom blyth opening screen …. i still got jumpscared seeing him in the nude
2. the way they pronounce lucy grays name still catches me off guard. i’ve been ignoring the “i” completely and just say “bard” in my head (yk bc she’s The Bard). with that being said i know the mayor was in like 2 scenes but i think he did a really good job picking out lucy grays name he looked crazy
3. hunter schafer is my eyebrow inspo. also i’ve mentioned this before w the bathing suits having a 1920s and 50s vibe but she’s giving 1940s to me. but obviously glamor 1940s not war ridden 1940s
4. watching this w someone who hasn’t read the book is so enjoyable. when lucy gray dropped the snake down mayfairs shirt Boyfriend got SO tense “waitwait did she just try to fuckin murder her??” god forbid women do anything
5. okay sorry but the first time i watched it i was trying not to smile (in a laugh-y way) when lucy grays singing part came on. when i read it i thought that part ate but actually seeing it was so different for some reason. i think this feeling might be amplified if you’ve never read the book bc my sister felt the exact same way she said it was kinda fuckin cringe. idk if it was just bc we were at home or she was just feeling silly but she started singing that one camp rock song that’s like “we can’t back down.” which ok yeah that was kinda lucy grays song in a nutshell but it kinda did piss me off bc the “you can kiss my ass!!!!” part was coming on soon and i was stressing over them missing it. also didnt lucy gray have a full on dance break in the book?? god. they should have kept that in
6. okay that scene where she bowed and d12’s nasty ass coal industry being in the background is still one of my fav scenes. ugh loved it
7. wovey idk what it was this time but when she was like “im rlly good at climbing” i almost burst into tears. guys she’s really good at climbing
8. hunter schafer literally killed this. i’d argue that tigris is just as much of a product of her environment as snow is but i don’t rlly know how to articulate that
9. speaking of the reading vs watching thing i mentioned earlier: it rlly jumped out with grandmaam. idk why but when i was reading it grandmaam was SO scary and intimidating to me but watching her so frail and skinny and slightly senile talk about how lucy gray is a killer just seemed so crazy. especially since we know snow believes her
10. “they’re gonna get bombed aren’t they” wtf i walk into every movie clueless how are ppl straight up predicting entire events. but again w the reading vs watching i was GAGGED when they got bombed in the book but in the movie it seemed weird?? like “get the camera on her” and then it just feels like they’re trying to take up space until the actual bombs land. but whatever im being so bitchy i wasn’t surprised bc i literally knew it was gonna happen
11. “i want coral making my latte” and i want tanner on the grill
12. i think it was tanner, but i rlly liked his outfit. i liked all their outfits actually. i’ve been watching so many reels abt the costume designer explaining her inspo for the costumes (like tigris and her 1940s glamor thing going on)
13. okay seriously why did they cut out the kiss… and then when they actually did kiss why did they have lucy gray pull away at first…… i know francis lawrence saying this was a love story was icky but he did a bad job at portraying that so maybe we were worried for nothing (jk we were worried for all the right reasons bc if i had a nickel for every time someone said “i thought they were gonna get married!” about lucy gray and snow i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice). also not to be a hater but snowbaird fans actually fucking irritate me. like the fans that are like “but what if it was wholesome 🥺🥺” what if lucy gray tried to kill him and he tried to kill her back? what if he managed to track her down and she bit him again? what if they hate each other so much that they’re only together bc they wanna see the other person suffer? what then
14. tbh seeing billy taupe made me feel a bit guilty 😭😭. almost terminated my ao3 acc but i get that feeling every time someone mentions something im obsessed w in a very casual way so it wasn’t rlly that serious. also someone either on tiktok or insta was like “was i the only person who preferred snows curls to his buzz cut?” and i genuinely couldn’t tell if they were joking bc like. everyone prefers snows curls to his buzz cut. even snow prefers his curls to his buzzcut. with that being said billy taupe needed to lose the cap
15. ngl the ballad of lucy gray baird actually did make me cry a bit… lucy gray was only 16 she needed to be on tumblr
16. where’d she get that guitar from tho
17. i wish they would have kept in the tributes death parade. that part was icky
18. okay there was a scene where lucky had a drink and then he flicked something off it and pup (i think that was his name) flinched cos it landed on his neck that was so fucking funny i hate that this was the first time i noticed it
19. okay seriously why did they make dill get poisoned. also that cornocopia scene. hmph
20. the first time i watched it i remembered being really confused why lucky called mizzen Merciless Mizzen. but omg after he tried chasing lucy gray down in that vent i understood that was crazy of him. and it did seem like he was an actual teenager which actually made it more unsettling. i feel like rachel zegler has a baby face (i actually think she was 17 in west side story and she looks the exact same now) but mizzen’s actor sing singing her name was perfect
21. lamina at the beam… didn’t she manage to kill someone in the book??
22. “does this mean we get to go home??” god i wish
23. but also “please lucy i can’t have killed all of them for nothing” i liked that she didn’t call her lucy gray that was a nice touch. but also. what a crazy thing to ask. i wonder if she thought lucy gray would be chill w that
24. take this with a grain of salt i haven’t read the books in so long but when snow snuck up on lucy gray in the meadow didn’t she level her guitar at him and then be like “sorry lol i still have one foot in the arena :P” they should have had her hit him in the face w it
25. the old therebefore still hits. i wish they would have included scenes where snow is shown to genuinely dislike her songs like in the books. in the movies he seems more disinterested in what she’s doing which is still bad but also it doesn’t seem as overt as him literally hating on her for no fuckin reason. which i guess is bc we have no insight into his head, like i think someone pointed out that in the book and movie he cried over sejanus being dead but in the book we know it’s bc he was scared it was gonna be him next but in the movie it just looked like he was sad. which i get it he’s perceived as nice by other people but the audience is not supposed to be other ppl we know what his motives are. im not sure how that’d be solved, cos i guess it would be pretty annoying to have him voice his thoughts and you also don’t wanna spoon feed ur audience but like. idk. seems like something you’d wanna make super clear bc to me it didn’t seem like you were supposed to like / sympathize with him, but the way it was done kinda seemed half baked
26. speaking of that… Boyfriend did not get the memo that snow was fucking crazy. “i thought he was gonna marry lucy gray in d12” WHY? like why would you even think that. were u not paying attention during the hunger games trilogy marathon where would lucy gray fit into that. since my sister thought the exact same thing she tried being like “see? it’s confusing” but it actually isn’t. that’s still a better reaction than my brother he was actually being a fucking weirdo about it cos when snow found lucy grays scarf in the woods and then the snake bit him this mfer went “she tried to kill him” no!!! but i think there might be something to be said about how snow, completely sober, came to the same conclusion as my brother, who was so high he couldn’t even remember who sejanus was
27. okay that’s a lot of sibling lore so atp i think i better end the post. bye
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#long post#i can finally stop posting about my damn rainbow dress now i wore it and it was very warm
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Twenty questions for fic writers
I was tagged by the wonderful @elenothar! Thankssss❤️
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
45
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
456.761
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I've written for a bunch of fandoms over the years. Currently I'm most active in Guardian and adjacent fandoms, but I think I could and would still write for pretty much everything I've written for in the past. So the full list would be Guardian, the Silmarillion, QZGS, MDZS/CQL, YYM, the Rebel, DMBJ, and some RPF :D
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Counting the promises as yet unbroken (165)
A ballad of burning lungs and bated breath (125)
A hand within a hand (holding light) (120)
Kaleidoscope (114)
Crowded full of parting's feeling (99)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to always respond to comments, bc i myself really like it when an author responds to my comments, so I would be a hypocrite not to do it myself. But also I kind of enjoy that interaction. Especially if ppl have commented on specific lines or on the themes. Sometimes commenters have insights about my fics that even I didn't have myself while writing, and I like to let them know their thoughts were appreciated :)
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Well, I am an angst writer, but I often try to make the endings of my fics at least a bit hopeful :/// I think the angstiest ending to a finished fic would have to go to either Crowded full of parting's feeling, which ends with LXC being (for the first time in his life) truly and utterly alone. Kind of a bummer. Or perhaps the easy part, which ends with ZYL crying himself to sleep on the kitchen floor.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
As I said, I try to make my endings hopeful, if not truly happy, but there are a few true happy endings to my fics! I think my RPF pieces tend to be the happiest bc I am slightly less likely to put these guys through the wringer the way I do with my truly fictional blorbos. I think the happiest however is homecoming, which ends with WJX finally coming out as trans and being her best and truest self.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not yet??? Hopefully it stays that way! I do write RPF though, so I'm very ready for one of the crazy antis to one day drop into my inbox calling me all sorts of nasty things for *looks at writing scribbled on hand* having the audacity to put characters in fictional situations that don't hurt the real ppl that inspired these characters in any way??? yeah :PPP
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Occasionally, when the muse strikes! But my ace brain finds it quite difficult. My mind tends to trail off and scatter all over the place when I get to the actual smut, and I have a hard time reeling it back in. As a result my smutty fics often get needlessly long xD and they also get a little kinky bc my brain tries to come up with ways to stay engaged in its own writing xD I like testing the limits of how poetic I can be about smut scenes.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Almost never. I rarely enjoy reading them unless they are very well done, so I don't generally think of writing them. The only consistent exception to this rule is all the weilan derivative fics! I love those very much, even if I don't always know the characters. So i've written one of those myself: no shame in having loved, a crossover between the Rebel and Detective L, which takes Luo Fei's perspective at snapshots in the Rebel canon, reflecting on everything that Lin Nansheng learns, loses, and cannot seem to stop giving away. It's a sad one, but with a slightly hopeful ending :)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of? I don't think I'm big enough in any fandom for anyone to consider stealing my work.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, but I have had one podficced :D
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have not. On the one hand I think I'd love to try one day, but I'm also very particular about certain things and I fear I might get antsy. I love brainstorming about fic though! Some of my best ideas have come from talking to people.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Uhm Weilan I think? I'm not really in fandom for the shipping.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
ohh hard one. I have three, if I may:
And miles to go (before I sleep): it's a story that's still very dear to me, but it's been so long since I started it that I think I'd need to rewrite the whole thing, bc I've gotten better at writing in the meantime and the style of any new chapter wouldn't match the first ones.
First gradually, and then all at once: I wrote all of this in a single week, and then uni got in the way, and then my hyperfixation on YYM ended and since then the fic's been stuck in unfortunate limbo :(((( I really want to finish it but I need the muse to guide me
Tryptich: not yet posted, but fully planned. It's one of the toughest, angstiest, most cathartic fic plots I have ever come up with, and I really want to write it because it is such a meaningful story about mental health and loss and recovery, but it's also YYM fandom, and as established above I need to regain that hyperfixation for this to move anywhere :(((( or just have a lot of free time on my hands where I can write both the guardian fic stuck in my brain and this.
16. What are your writing strengths?
uuhm, I think atmosphere/scene setting, structure, and character study/reflection.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
dialogue tags (bane of my existence). I also think my work can sometimes drag on, I use too many words sometimes. Also I feel like I can be kind of a one trick pony xD I repeat a lot of similar lines and dramatic build-up between stories.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Can be great when other ppl do it. If it's a language I can read a little bit that's nice , otherwise including a translation at the bottom helps. I'd definitely never write dialogue in a language I'm not fluent in. That being said, I do pay a lot of attention to what language my characters are 'actually' speaking, even if I present their dialogue to my readers in English. For example if would write a phrase like "he pauses to breathe between all three syllables" (which sucks as a line, but bear with me), in an English-language fic where the characters would canonically be speaking Mandarin Chinese, then I would make sure the line that character said would actually contain 3 syllables in both English and Chinese. I do a lot of that kind of reasoning in my head. "If this line, reflecting on dialogue spoken in Y language, was transposed directly into language X that the characters are really supposed to be speaking, would the line still work like this?" if the answer there is no, then I will either change the line, or change the English dialogue until I have something that reflects what I imagine the characters would say in their native language in the way I need!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Tolkien!
20. Favorite fic you've written?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE??? it's probably either a hand within a hand (holding light) or kaleidoscope.
Thanks again, this was fun!!!
tagging: @pangzi @programmedradly @lunarriviera @lucientelrunya @mjsakurea @lynne-monstr @dual-domination @aredhel-of-doylkien @thedaughterofshadows if you want to :)
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At the end of the day I'm rlly not invested in what other ppl do with their bodies but I feel like in terms of informed consent for procedures/medication, especially anything psychiatric, it's really important to have an unbiased introduction to somebody who 1) got the thing you're thinking about and 2) hates and regrets it
Disclosure at hospitals/by providers is usually completely ass; like I'm sure you get people who are like "hey, imma be real with you about what risks & side effects exist and why you wouldn't want to do it, it's completely up to you" but most of the time it's like "here's what we're gonna do for you, read and sign this and we'll set it up" or (I think perhaps more insidious) "I have to tell you there are risks, but I'm invested in your wellbeing and I genuinely believe this is the best shot" (Drs appealing to their own authority and care and setting you up such that any dissent is an implicit argument about their expertise and care. Nasty!). Neutral informed consent *basically doesn't exist*
Idk I really fucking wish I hadn't been subjected to the shit I was but I got myself into psych meds by buying the story that it would Help(tm) (unspecified) ("make you feel like yourself again!") hook line & sinker, and unfortunately that also includes the fun little caveat that anybody who tells you different is an Evil Bigot who wants to take away Everyone's Meds and thinks you just need to Try Harder--and that extra little bit of coercion on top of how """"informed consent"""" is treated by Most of the establishment as an annoying speedbump the docs have to pass over instead of an Essential Part Of Fucking Medicine basically means informed consent doesn't fucking exist.
I don't wish someone had told me "no you can't do that". People DID and I fought through them--more force wouldn't have fixed anything!!! I also don't think you should HAVE to sit with somebody who regretted it to like get a fucking procedure--shit like that DOES happen for transition or abortion and it sucks, and also, (edit: perisex, addmittedly iunno how much intersex ppl face psych/med incarceration as a point of coericion to recieve medical intervention) transgender people aren't being kept in JAIL until they agree to transition so like. It's maybe worth counterbalancing that fucking pressure a little bit by developing a culture where the checks you do before agreeing to or ideally seeking a medication include "how badly has this gone for other people, and does that feel relevant in any way to my situation?", whatever answer that question gives.
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hiho! good morning, i hope ur doing well and eaten breakfast!
I GENUINELY THINK that draco teases ron for being 'obsessed' with the slytherins, namely his gang LOL!! ron would be glaring at them at the other side of the room and they'd be minding their business,, (they're the reason why he cant focus fr) ,, ooh, go on ahead! reading it is fantastic HAHAHA, but i wont spoil!! the books are in english for me c:
YOURE SO RIGHT.. mattheo definitely had second thoughts when he joined the friend group, intentionally side-eyeing them and judging them in his mind,, i hc that the whole friend group started bc draco was like "guys were purebloods lets be friends fr!!" but everyone had their skepticism and reluctances, but they still managed to tie and bond together <33 for me personally i see them as the found family trope ykyk, they gossip and trash talk ppl (probably.. HELP) and they'd be doing some side quests !! mattheo would be quite hesitant for a while due to his attachment issues, theo's probably the one inviting him because "come on dude!! live a little!!",, but rlly, i think what makes me grow fond abt their dynamic is their shared bond. they all experienced trauma, and that's like their mutual bond-- they're each other's family and home, the one they've been missing their whole lives ykyk..
ooh i have seen the movies, but its been a while lol, but i'll see to it!! share ur hcs pls :0
anww, i hope ur having fun and resting well! take care of urself always ^^ - c: anon
good morning angel 🫶🏻 thank you i hope you do too ! i should reread at least the main part in the chamber of secrets so i know how to form these hcs bc i want them as accurate as possible 😭 “oi, weasley! a bit obsessed with us, aren’t you 😏” “shut it, malfoy🤬🤬 !!!” i love this beef between them sm helpppp
it’s so ironic with the pureblood thing bc mattheo is half blood considering voldermort is one as well 😭😭 draco was probably told by lucius that he should befriend the dark lord’s son so they’ll get on their good side && draco went with it but after some time he actually grew to like the presence of the riddle heir , YES the found family trope !!! that’s so them , they find comfort in each other after all the trauma they got / are getting through
soo i think snape would be more reserved towards mattheo , as he’s both slytherin and voldemort’s son , yk he wouldn’t take house points from him even if he caught him beating life out of someone and if mattheo managed to get a detention from snape , the professor wouldn’t make him clean toilets and other nasty stuff like this . and yk how he was tasked to watch over draco in the 6th movie? i think snape would be tasked to watch over mattheo as well but for a completely different reason and that is so people like dumbledore or mcgonagall won’t try to turn him against the dark side
i look forward to hearing ur thoughts ! <3
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