#this is in fact NOT a shitpost I am really grateful to experience this

[astronicht]

My father is staying in my flat today, eating my pears. Miraculous. Transcendental even.

[fairuzfan]

i try to tag posts that reference violence on palestinians with a content warning saying at much so that if a palestinian wants to mute tags about their families' murders they are able to do so. if a palestinian wants to come on tumblr and just see shitposts and pretend their homeland and their families and their culture are not in imminent danger for just 15 minutes just to maintain their sanity, i do not want to be the reason that they can't.

i know my intentions are in the right place but i've also seen many people (understandably) saying that adding content warnings is invalidating (not sure if that's the best word but whatever) because it illustrates the fact that non palestinians have luxury in the ability to look away from all this while palestinian do not. and because people "taking breaks" from it all is actively harmful to palestinians because aside from being a complicit bystander it also means the voices of palestinians can't reach as far because they aren't amplified.

do you think it's appropriate to be adding these content warnings or am i simply enabling the people who want to pretend stepping away isn't just supporting genocide by default?

You know, I've honestly been thinking about this a lot too as I see more conversation around... I think it's admirable that you're thinking of your Palestinian followers! But I think, personally, I wouldn't content warn the posts for them.

Most Palestinians, at least from experience, are already refreshing their feeds, trying to see 5 million different news sources, so a lot of what I personally see regarding news here isn't.... news to me, and I know for a lot of other Palestinians that's true also.

While I'm grateful that people are wanting to help protect Palestinians, it does irk me a little when I see "cw:"/"tw:" tags mostly because it feels like its more for nonPalestinians rather than Palestinians. Most of my posts, at least, aren't so much for other Palestinians as they are for educating nonPalestinians, so when I see something tagged as "tw: genocide," I'm thinking "who is blocking this tag right now and for why?"

In all honesty, even for Palestinians, I do think its important to not tag these posts with content warnings because Gazans are asking us to bear witness to what's happening to them. I've seen some grizzly photos and videos, and if there's something I *really* can't handle, I click away. But it's all of our responsibility not to ignore them as they plead for someone to keep looking.

For Palestinians that do want to take some breaks — which I think is totally necessary since, well, we're human — I don't think they'll be looking to social media because they'll naturally be checking the news. I get off my phone and talk to someone when I'm overwhelmed. A lot of the time, its about Palestine, yeah, but at least I'm not by myself.

Right now, the biggest solace for a lot of Palestinians is that they see that other people who are not Palestinian are talking about this nonstop. So personally, I'd advise against content warnings for Palestine posts. Though others may have a different opinion.

Thanks for the question!!

[greenbirdtrash]

Hello!

🔸I'm Kers, aka your friendly disabled enby artist from Ukraine 🇺🇦! I generally go by any pronouns, but as for now i do have a preference towards he/him and they/them. My special interests are paleontology, ornithology, alien&half-life universes, and i also enjoy drawing various fandom/oc stuff! Also i like to craft different things from scratch sometimes. Basically, my blog contains a lot of interest hopping because my hyperfixations are wild and i'm usually not ashamed of it.

❗18+ advised❗Besides being my personal art&interest stash, sometimes it may or may not have adult/suggestive things mentioned/reblogged, but that's as far as it goes. Explore this blog at your own risk, and please do not interact with nsfw stuff here if you're a minor. I do try to keep nsfw content in this blog tagged for the convenience/filtering purposes, anyway..

I know this warning merely has any power to stop people, but if you happen to be a minor who managed to sneak in despite the warning, you gotta remember that i am not your caretaker nor i'm responsible for your actions or overall internet experience, and i don't really care if you lied about your age in bio or not. None of my business, but this warning is here for a reason. I'd be grateful if you respect it.

🔸I am very chill-going, feel free to send me asks and stuff you think i might like (but no vent/trauma dump please, i have my own demons to face), i quite enjoy when people do that and i love interactions (feel free to tag me in various special-interest-related posts and such, but be aware of the fact that usually i won't participate in tag games of all sorts with a rare exception), but sometimes i might disappear and/or won't respond right away because of my anxiety/social battery/bad memory. Please be patient, and thank you for stopping by, i geniunely appreciate each like, reblog or comment i get~

https://linktr.ee/elmargoviper

🌿Tags:

#kers ramblings - all text posts, talks and asks. Feel free to block it if i'm too loud on your dash

#my art - everything drawn by me, kind of a universal "art gallery" kind of tag. May or may not have shitpost-esque sketches as well

#kers crafts - pretty much self-explanatory, the things i make sometimes

#oc - characters, oh the many of them

#lyrr core - vibes that are resonating with my beloved oc Lyrr

#nsfw / #nsft - nsfw posts/reblogs

🔸I have a plenty of interests, fixations and fandoms i'm currently in, there's too many of them to list, and i constantly cycle through them over years. Even if it might seem like i no longer enjoy a [thing], i probably still do, and i'm very fond of the communities, mutuals and all the memories of the fun times i had back then. I never actually abandon any of that and revisit my interests quite often, so if you're a long time follower and/or followed me for a specific fandom or type of content, you may see me getting back to it eventually, if you're patient enough... Once i step into a new territory, i'm gonna visit it again and again, that's pretty much how it works.

🌿Timezone: GMT+3🌿

....i don't have a consistent sleep schedule anyway, don't be surprised if you see me active during any time of day

About art usage [IMPORTANT]

DNI: MAP/pedo,zoo&other animal abuse,proship,anti BLM,anti ACAB,transphobia/homophobia,ableism,islamophobia,fatphobia,terfs,bigots,racism,nazis,all sorts of ultra right wing radicals,elon/trump/putin supporters,ukraine/palestine invasion&war apologists (this is your only warning, get the fuck out and take your shit with you, i am not having a conversation or any interactions with people who were told to put my head on a stick just because i exist and because my identity "should be erased"), NFT/AI art, "anti anti", and other shitheads. You're not welcome here and you will never be. Get the hell out of my blog.

If i accidentally reblog something from a blog that supports any of the things above, please, PLEASE, let me know so I can delete and block it. I don't want any of that on my dash, but I'm only human and unfortunately i do not know what's lurking behind every single reblog i make, especially if the account itself is vague or secretly tiptoeing around questionable stuff. Thank you.

Basic respect and politeness, it's that easy. Also, i do keep my ultimate right to distance myself, block and move on without any direct engagement whatsoever if something (or someone) is making me highly uncomfortable.

[kaeyasaki]

❝ BITES YOU! ❞

✿ cute lil messages for my besties before i get too busy with exams and forget, because who knows how long everyone’s tumblr phase will last,, dramatic gasp — apologies for typos i’ve been anti beta reading these days as you can tell

✧･ﾟ:* myra *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @luvcre

my pretty kitten, myra chan, i love you even though you like,, l*orio !! we’ve been friends for almost 6 months now, wow so cool !! no but actually i’m very grateful for meeting you. i know we already knew each other beforehand, but i think it’s rad the way we were always destined to meet !! quite literally the tumblr!romeo and juliet experience i say, but im super glad we got the chance to befriend one another and then grow so close !! i love you a unexplainable amount and you’re really special to me !! i’m extremely grateful for everything you’ve done for me, you’re a very genuine and loyal friend and i’m really proud i get to call you someone so close to me. thank you for always being you and taking such good care of me and mina whenever we’ve needed it, i think you’re the coolest and not only are you admittedly funny, but you’re someone who i’ve found so easy to be myself around even when regarding irl situations, thank you for being you and thank you for loving me being me, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* mina *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @jhxyne

i’d love you more if you’d let me date your brother but i suppose i can’t have it all </3 no seriously though, i love you stupidly too and i’m insanely happy and grateful we met almost 6 months ago. you’re on the same wavelength constantly and you’re someone i’ve found so easy to confide in and open up to so quickly. i’ll forever be grateful to you for showing me what a real friendships supposed to be like and helping me feel comfortable no matter what. you’re really cool mina and you’re also really hot >:) you’re undeniably you and don’t let anyone put you in your place which i love. i’m super proud of you for everything you do too, you’re a big deal to me and i care about you a lot. while i’ll always drop whatever i’m doing to rip a bitches throat out for you, i know you’d do the same. you’re extremely important and someone i hold very close to me, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* chloe *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @sunasbabie

man you’re really one of my longest friends on here and i appreciate you endlessly. you’ve been with me since before i was ‘mila’ and we clicked so quickly! you became a really good friend of mine in such a short amount of time too which is rare for me because i tend to hold myself back when it comes to really clicking with people but honestly i can and would talk to you about absolutely anything! you were honestly separated from me at birth i’m certain, we’re very alike and different in the same sense and you’re definitely someone i’d cling to irl <3 you’re funny and you’re genuine and i love you a ridiculous amount! thank you for putting up with me for as long as you did and i’m manifesting we one day meet, we’ll definitely end up in some sort of trouble but that’d be expected of us >:), i love you

✧･ﾟ:* val *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @atsuangel

smirks, valicità my beloved, you’re quite literally the epitome of cool. you’re easily someone i look up to and admire whether that’s from up close and after, you’re very real and you’re very easy to talk to. i adore you in every sense and you’re perfect in every sense other than your taste of men (i can fix you :,( pete davidson,, he’s not right for you!). we’ve been friends for a long time now too and i’m very grateful we met, you’re someone very special to me and someone who i’d also sell a kidney to meet >:) not only is your online presence just overall hot, you quite literally are the sexiest too wow oh look! i’m on my knees :) you’re just %+>$# hhh you’re just really cool and i’m really glad i get to call you my favourite worstie! i love you

✧･ﾟ:* venus *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @amourdite

i’m not sure when you’ll see this but venus my gf, i’d lick you right now if i could :) you’re another person i’d lose a limb for if it meant we could meet, you’re so funny and i think you were the first person to see all sides to me. you’ve put up with me annoying you for a very long time now and you’re easily one of my longest and closest friends on here. you’re super easily to talk to and even though you’re sometimes a bit weird >:) you’re overall very well grounded and level headed and i know i can always come to you for anything without feeling like i’m going to be judged. i love you immensely and i’m very thankful for you because we met during my anti social phase when i didn’t really want to make friends or anything so the fact you were able to make me unknowingly change my mind about that is a pretty big accomplishment >:) i’m always here if you need me and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* lexy *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @babymattsun

miss hot girl lexy i love you very very much !! you’ve always been really cool and you’re never afraid to speak your truth and i admire that completely. you don’t hesitate to put a bitch back in their place and you do all that while being hot and funny which is a hard accomplishment. you’re very honest and someone i’d feel so comfortable going to if i ever needed an opinion, like a straight up no bullshit type of opinion because i know you’d be able to give me what you really think without giving me an answer from the perception of someone wearing rose tinted glasses. you’re so real and you’re so you, i love you and everything about you so much and i’m always happy to see you on my dash heather you’re posting content or just shitposting, seeing your url makes me very happy :,) i love you

✧･ﾟ:* hanna *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @s9turn

screams, bye we were destined to be friends i don’t care. you are literally meant to be close to me and i’m so excited knowing that you’ll be coming to the city for uni because all my unis are either in the city or super close by train so i won’t be far from you. you’re insanely intelligent and everything you do is just,, wow. you’re extremely funny too, i love talking to you so much and even when it’s us discussing an actual topic/issue, you’ll still be making me laugh when we talk. we hate the same people and have very common interests, you’re so cool hanna and i’m super glad we met >:) not only are you my literal twin in the sense of us both getting the privilege to attend white tory schools while being poc girls :,) but you also get where the humour etc comes from making it so easy to talk to you about anything. your writing too is so well thought out and whether you’re writing long fics or crack content, you execute everything you do so perfectly i’m quite literally on my knees for you, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* chuu *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @nakizumie

ahh chuu !! i don’t even know where to start with you, you’re literally my comfort person and i love you endlessly !! i still think it’s funny we were both fans of each other and too shy to approach but i’m so grateful you did approach me because you so quickly became one of you favourite people. you’re literally an angel and deserve the entire world given to you, you’re so kind to everyone and just seeing you on my dash makes me happy !! your messages make my entire day and you work so hard too !! you’re literally perfect and i envy those who get to see yo pretty face everyday irl, they’re so lucky to have someone like you because you’re the type of person whose hard to come by often. you’re talented and easily one of the friendliest people on tumblr, we’re all very lucky to have you and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* vale *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @iwasumi

vale my love, you’ve kept me so sane on so many occasions and for that i’m eternally grateful. you’ve taken it upon yourself so many times to go out of your way to make sure i’m good and make me smile, you’re someone i treasure and i’m so lucky we met. you’re another mutual who i find comfort in and seeing your posts make me so happy because you too are undeniably true to yourself and you’re always more than happy to speak your truth. i have so much respect for you as a writer and a person, you’re a literal star and we’re all to lucky we have you here. seeing you talk about your selfships makes me intensely happy too, i love the way you talk about them, you’re always so cute about it and mention specific details which i find super special because i can tell you really do care and love for these characters and i envy they have someone like you loving them as much as you do. i appreciate you endlessly and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* sophia *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @sophiashortcake

your taste in men is always something i have to bring up because not once but twice have you shocked me with the men you end up falling for. it doesn’t matter though, your pretty face makes up for it !! i’m super glad we met even if it was on that stupid discourse night. you know, i was still in awe when i found your initial post about it because not only did you serve such logic, but you also made your post somehow look pretty in the process. again you met me while i was in my anti social phase and had no intentions on making actual friends on tumblr. obviously i had my old mutuals like clara and yelie, but it was nice to have someone a lot closer to my age and we clicked very quickly which is something that doesn’t happen with me a lot. you’re very special to me and i hope you know that. you’re very very kind and while i know tumblr is sometimes heavy and stressful, you do such a good job at keeping on top of things and handing yourself, i envy that a lot. you’re very mature and i think everyone should be more like you including myself >:) i love you

✧･ﾟ:* jae *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @ats4mu

jae, i know you’ve been busy with exams lately and i’m super proud of you for everything you’ve done. i also know you plan to come back to tumblr soon to come catch up so i’ll leave this here for you to find when you come back hottie. miss jae, i love you very very much and i’m very glad we got to meet. you’re very funny and you’re super considerate of everyone around you. you always take the time out of your day to answer everyone and interact with full intention, we’re so lucky to have someone like you on here. i also appreciate you immensely, there’s been countless occasions where you’ve taken time out of your day to make me happy and while it’s undeserving, you always made sure i was good anyway and for that i’m extremely grateful. you’re beautiful through and through and not only are you such a big personality on here, you’re also very talented in the way you word things. i have so much respect for you and am constantly looking up to you, i’m very proud of you and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* jake *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @deardaichi

HISSING I LOVE YOU SM </3 no honestly, i’m so happy we met, you have made me so much happier and the fact you knew me even before i became ‘mila’ means you’ve watched me grow as a person and watched my life and dilemmas play out and yet you still stuck around and willingly interact with me. you’re so cool and funny and i’m so mad we didn’t meet before. you’re someone i trust so so much and i’d give anything up to meet you, i’m honestly obsessed with you and everything about you. you’re so kind and welcoming to everyone yet you’re also assertive and don’t take anyone’s shit. you’re literally my twin flame and i’m ridiculously happy we got to meet, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* tina *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @ilyrinjo

ahh miss tina hi !! i love you very much and i’m so glad you’re back !! you were missed for that period of time you left so these past few weeks of you returning have been so nice !! i still can’t get over you were one of my anons before but when you did come off anon i remember us getting along perfectly upon first interaction !! you’re super fun to talk to and your opinions are always very interesting but extremely valid too. you’re someone i could happily go to if i wanted an honest opinion or mature conversation with. you make talking to you so easy and not only that but you’re insanely pretty !! the boy you’re talking to is very lucky and i hope he knows it, he won’t get better than you and i highly doubt any of us will. you’ve got such perfect looks and personality i envy your balance in that have so much respect for you in everything you do. i hope you know how special you are to me and i hope everyone else knows how much you should be treasured because you really are a rarity to this world. i love you

✧･ﾟ:* em *:･ﾟ✧ — @osamuscupid

em !! pretty girl, i’m so glad you reached out to me a while ago !! i love you so so much and your messages make me so happy !! i love hearing all about your day and i love that you feel comfortable with ranting and just talking, i feel as though i’m sometimes a bit too much, but you still reached out to me and talk to me on a daily basis, you’re very special to me and i love hearing about how you’re doing. i care about you a lot and you already know how proud of you i am, you’re always working hard to achieve the things you want and you’re always putting in so much effort too. i look up to you for that as even in things you struggle with you persist with and that’s a mindset that’s hard to find someone with. you’re very special and i hope those around you know how lucky they are to have you, i care about you a ridiculous amount and i’m so glad we met !! i love you

✧･ﾟ:* sage *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @miyumiya

omg gf i love u !! you’re so much fun to talk to and your blog is always one of the prettiest !! you’re on pretty much the same wavelength as me and i love you so much !! once day we’ll save megan from pardi and force her to open her eyes, he’s not right for her and she should’ve been our gf from the start >:( okay but asides from that, you’re very easy to talk to and i love interacting with you !! i have so much love and time for you and you’re very easy to get along with !! you’re very talented in the way you write too, so i hold a lot of respect for you as a writer and friend, i can’t wait to keep getting to know you and i’m very thankful we met angel, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* max *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @maadorii

max hi hey hello i’m in love with you but you already knew that. you’re so easy to talk to and you’re so much fun too !! i love seeing you both on my dash and in my notifs, seeing your posts make me so happy and i love seeing whatever it is you have to say. i’d say your writing is poetic and i find that very beautiful, i love reading your stuff and i think you’re great in everything you do !! you’re easily someone i’d call a friend and you became one so quickly too considering i’m not the easiest to approach. everything about you i’m obsessed with and i’m super glad we met, it’s people like you that make me happy i stuck around on tumblr, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* sushi *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @velvetfireworks

ahhhh i adore you !! everything about you is just !!! you’re so wonderful and you definitely are someone i’d approach irl if i ever needed directions or something, you’re one of the friendliest people i’ve met and i’m so glad we did !! you’re super special not just to me, but to so many around you and you’re such a rare type of person to find, i’m truly lucky i got the chance to meet you because i’m enthralled with you completely. i look up to you as a writer and a person and i’m in awe of everything you do, you’re an all round great and well grounded person and you’re someone i know i could rely on if i ever needed it. you’re super likeable and i’m so happy we became friends, i love seeing you on my dash etc and wow don’t even get me started on your content. your way with words is perfect and even though i only tend to read for tetsu, reading your other works is a guilty pleasure because while i am loyal to him, your works always have me feeling some type of way, you leave me speechless everytime. you’re wonderful and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* vi *:･ﾟ✧ — @milfvi

i still cannot get over that one, you forgot we were mutuals, and two you didn’t know you were on my carrd,, VI WTF IVE LOVED YOU SINCE MY KUROOSKULT DAYS !! you’re so so funny and i have your post notifs on for that. everything you say is funny and you’re so easy to talk to because you’re so open and i love that !! you’re very special to me and someone i care about a lot, i love you and i’m proud of you for everything you do. your blog is so much fun to look at and seeing you on my dash makes me so happy !! you’re so fun to be around and you’re for sure someone i’d click with well irl which is rare for me to admit when talking about online friends. i’m so glad we met and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* xi *:･ﾟ✧

i don’t want to tag you for obv reasons >:) but i do want to tell you that i love you and while we only became friends in february, i’m glad we did because you’ve quickly become someone i can go to when i need to vent or rant because i know you won’t judge me. i’m really happy you feel like you can open up to me too because that’s something a lot of people struggle with when it comes to me. you’re so easy to talk to and i can say anything judgement free to you and vice versa. i’m literally in love with you and don’t even get me started on your selfship. i’d honestly pay a fat sum of money for it to be officially canon because the way you talk about him leaves me giddy for the two of you, i’m very much in awe of you and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* ellie *:･ﾟ✧ — @tetsulatte

pretty gf ellie, i adore you in so many ways. you’re so kind and caring to those around you and i adore your positive outlook. you have such a talent for making such pretty blogs too !! i’m glad we met even if it was just recently, but i appreciate you and everything you do and not even just for me. i know you bring comfort to a handful of people and i see you as the big sister type of figure for sure. i think you’re so cool and i’m super glad you reached out to me because me being the lowkey pussy i am when approaching new people, i would’ve been too shy and would’ve had to settle for admiring you from afar. you’re very much appreciated and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* nayru *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @luvoratomi

nayru !! you make my day pretty much everyday and i’m so thankful someone like you came across me !! you’re so kind and fun to talk to and i think everyone’s super lucky to be able to befriend someone like you !! you’re someone i look forward to interacting with and i promise after my exams are over i’ll be practically living in your inbox, you’re someone i hold close to me and i appreciate you a stuuupid amount. i’m love hearing from you and love hearing about your day and what you’ve been up to, it makes me happy to see you happy so thank you for always making that happen !! i love you

✧･ﾟ:* misa *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @rintaromilktea

misa my pretty girl i hope you’re doing well !! i too, appreciate you an insane amount and i’m glad we became friends !! i’ve loved watching you grow more sure in yourself and confident on your blog, it makes me so happy to see you have good people around you too !! you’re someone i treasure a lot and i’m so glad we became friends !! you’re so kind and you’re always thinking of others. that’s a genuine rare trait to find in someone so i hold you very close to my heart and i’m so thankful we had the opportunity to meet, i hope you’re taking care of yourself angel, i love you

✧･ﾟ:* fyfa *:･ﾟ✧ — ✿ @sweetbakugou

hey fyfa i think you’re so rad >:) you’re literally the coolest and you’re always on the same shit as me, i literally adore you and everything about you. you always get me and i know you’re someone i could always rely on. you’re also really very funny and definitely one of my funniest mutuals, your shitposts have got me in trouble a few times in class from when i’ve read them and genuinely laughed, you’re so much fun and you’re so open and friendly, i’m so lucky we met and i’m so glad we befriended one another. i’m so happy i got to come across you on shitty tumblr and if i ever did leave, i’d definitely be running to you as one of the first people i’d be begging for other social handles to keep in contact with because where else am i going to find humour from </3 you’re so important to me and i love you

✧･ﾟ:* rose *:･ﾟ✧— ✿ @makeusfreefromthisfandom

rose !! i’m so happy you reached out to me because i love talking to you you’re so much fun !! i love that you get to be apart of me finally watching hxh (chrollo is all yours i really can’t with him </3) but not only that, you’ve been someone i’ve always looked up to as a person. you’re so real and you’re so kind and i know everyone around you would say the same. you’re like an older sibling type of figure on here and i love you for that. you’re so open and welcoming and i know you have others best interest at heart, you’re one of the best people i’ve met and i love you

hhh i think that’s everyone, but there’s a lot of people i hold close to me and appreciate even if i haven’t mentioned them on here,, you’re all so important to me and whether you’ve interacted with me once or twice on or off anon, you’ve all been super important to me growing as a person because while i was thinking about it yesterday, who i was when i first started tumblr and who i am now are two completely different people and i’m finally happy with myself :) thank you all so much i love you !!

[sugasugawarau]

Happy New Years to you all! I’m a bit late in writing and posting this but I wanted to take the time to properly thank everyone who follows me for sticking with me :) I know I’m not the most active when it comes to writing or even making shitposts so I hope you know it means the world to me that you enjoy my content. While just because 2020 has ended does not mean things will get automatically better, know that you have the capability of making a difference both for yourself and others. I’m proud of you for coming this far and please remember to take care of yourself when you can <3

And I’d also like to take the time to thank some individuals who have made a huge impact on my tumblr experience and have made this year better under the cut! Be warned there are many words and also sorry for any typos I wrote this at 3am :D

I’m going to start off with a few major lo$ers (joking) aka my irl friends that have tumblr

@kbh-ton, @ashr00m, @kae-and-the-lost-dragons

Okay the fact that you all follow me here is EMBARRASSING because you have to endure perceiving me from a sorta totally different perspective but surprise hi,, ily 😹 I know ⅔ of you don’t even use tumblr that often but I digress!! Thank you?? Like I’m not kidding when I say I don’t know where I would be without any of you guys. Stinky pp Paul, you’ve been here with @/sugasugawarau since the beginning-ish and have always been supportive of my absolutely stupid ideas. And my sons AKA get cucked squad, this is going to be ultra sappy but I hope you know how proud I am of the both of you (but no thanks to one of you for teaching us about nussies 😕). Thank you all for tolerating my overthinking ass as well as whenever I get high from a lack of sleep and just in general bc I’m a constant mess of a human being; you are all the best people ik stfu I don’t take criticism.

To my first ever tumblr mutual, @tendouthighs

Hi Codie!! Ik we haven’t talked a lot lately but just know that I appreciate your endless kindness and how you’re able to keep up with my smooth brain antics in dms so much. You’re so funny and I’ll treasure all the jokes and headcanons we’ve made, I hope you’re taking care and doing well heading into 2021! 💖💕

To wife Lyra @yacoka

Miss… Thank you sm for dropping by my inbox all the way back in like June/July because otherwise I don’t think I’d ever have gotten the courage to dm you LOL. It would be an understatement to say that you’re the kindest and most easygoing person I’ve met on here - I hope you know how grateful I am to have met you and read your works (and for lending me your knives and just being so?? supportive??? truly idk how you do it but ily 😣❣️)

To wife Joy @lesbians4yaku

Joy!!! I really don’t know where to start because you’re just so amazing?? And we’ve been mutuals for as long as I can remember ajdjfka I’m just,, so glad to have met you and I hope you know how much I love seeing you on the dash, whether it’s being able to marvel at the genius that is your mind whenever you make a haikyuu shitpost or reading your tags. You always make me laugh and smile and I am wishing you both of those things in 2021 bc u deserve the best, love u 🤍🤍🤍

To Arell, the sweetest soul I know @g4nyu

You have a natural talent for being able to make me both soft ™ and also laugh as freely as Tanaka and Nishinoya with your relatable quips and jokes and I adore you for it. (Also.. can we talk about how absolutely gorgeous your writing is I will nvr shut up.. also also I am here whenever u need to be enabled to rave abt any and all Haikyuu or Genshin characters <33) ily and ty for being my mutual, I feel v lucky to have u in my life 🥺

To Cal, a goddess in her own right @heyhinata

Ma’am the way ily?? You’re beautiful inside and out and I have sm fun talking to you. Being able to call you a mutual and read your works is a blessing and I’m so glad we started talking in dms ajsjfja I’ll never forget plotting smaus with you to raving abt Genshin and making fun of B*n Sh*piro, hidden muppet 😍 Wishing you the best in all that you do!

To Rae, fellow Tim Hortona enthusiast @mehreya

Hi bae I just want to start off with a big thank you. You’re such a wonderful and invigorating person to talk to and I always feel at ease talking with you, and seeing you on my dash with your interactions with others is always a light in my day. And for u I will embrace the Oikawa kinnie in me any day <33 ly and have an amazing New Years 🥰

To Ria, the absolute best and only Ria ik @kumaoi

Omg hi sexc 😍 ahdjkfka idk if you’ll see this but hey,, fun fact even if we don’t talk as much as we used to I still love u sm and I hope you’re staying healthy and happy !! Meeting you was and still is one of the best highlights of my tumblr journey and I’ll always be grateful for your existence

To Gracie, writer of all things beautiful @sneezefiction

Gracie!! I hope you’ve been doing well since the last time we talked and that you’re enjoying the New Years to the fullest <3 You were also one of my earliest mutuals and I just wanted to say thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me and for writing and sharing your works on tumblr. Sending love ! 💖

To the one and only angel, Yas @whipped-cream-writings

Yas bb we only became mutuals rather recently but I have sm love for you 🥺 Your kindness inspires me and your fics are the cutest things ever (pls,,, teach me how to write fluff ahfjfkka) Ilysm and I want to remind you that you’re so wonderful and amazing, sending you all my love for the upcoming year ahead !!

To Kay, who I will protect with my life @kayzume

Kay I don’t know how to even begin to put in words how glad I am to have met you in Lyra’s server,, you’re so sweet and you make me feel safe every time we talk. (Also THE DRAWINGS u made and shared with us,,, have I alr said ily bc ily and all that you do.) I know we haven’t chatted in a while but I’m sending you all my hugs and kithes always 💕💕💖

To mutuals I’ve interacted with some time during these months on tumblr and cherish a whole lot @taiyaaki @kageyuji @sophiawithstars @buddh-art @sa-suga @baeshijima @cherryonigiri @catharsisbabey @tris-does-stuff @tetsurolls @come-on-shitty-boys @iwas-angel @star-puff @voxamcris @azucanela @heartjime @miyafeuille @suikazura @deerixiie @hajiimes @skateme2yokohama @aliteama @yuujiya @omijime and many others but I think I hit the tagging limitajdhfka

Hi ily. You’re all such inspiring and talented individuals and while we may not interact frequently or know each other as well I wish we cld be ajfjjfa but I adore you all and I wish you an amazing New Year 🥺💖 (and if you ever want to talk, feel free to dm or smth! and I’ll try my best to be more active in popping into my mutual’s inboxes amhahshsj)

To the pillars of tumblr @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock @nidaenk

You are all so special to me in that you are the reason I would wake up and get my butt on this hellsite and find so much fun and joy in the fandoms I enjoy - it’s not even the content you post but just,, your amazing and stellar personality and interactions with your followers and mutuals alike. Thank you for being a part of this weird space on the internet and I hope you are taking care and being kind to yourself, love u very much <33

[ropebunnykant]

So, I genuinely wasn’t planning on making one of these because I’m really not the best when it comes to expressing my feelings in words. However, I also wasn’t expecting to get tagged in the amount of these that I did tbh. I never really think of myself as someone that’s gonna be noticed all that often, I guess, and I’m also not exactly the most social of people even on here. But, the fact that I have been tagged in so many of these truly warms my heart and I do wanna say thank you to everyone that tagged me in one because it really touched me and made me feel so very loved. 💙

Before this year, it’s been about three years since I’ve actively been involved in any sort of fandom. I’ve watched things, I’ve engaged with things, and this blog has remained pretty active with me mostly just reblogging stuff for the last few years, but I didn’t really have any sort of place in any fandom and I certainly didn’t have any mutuals that I interacted with. This year, I finally started engaging more. While it was Lucas’s season that pushed me to get into Skam in the first place, it was Robbe’s that pushed me to start interacting more with the fandom. There really is nothing to compare watching that season live to, the fandom experience during that time was truly unique and one of my favorite parts about it and it’s exactly what drew me into becoming apart of it all.

I really didn’t expect to end up making so many friends, finding so many talented and wonderful people that I would love interacting with and I am truly grateful to just be here and experience it all.

Now for some individual appreciation 💙💙

@perfectsilence22 I tell you all the time how much I adore you and how much I appreciate you, but of course you gotta be top of my list here!! You’re truly one of my favorite people to talk to, to share theories with, or to even just see on my dash. It truly blows my mind how there are so many things the could have kept us from being friends, but I’ll gladly thank whatever it is that ended up pushing us together because I can’t imagine what it would be like not having you in my life. I love you so much 💙

@fatoudixon You know according to Tumblr, we’ve only been mutuals for about two months? It’s absolutely crazy to me that that’s the case, because not quote Robbe, but it sometimes feels like I’ve known you my whole life. I have no idea what it was that compelled you to message me, what it was the even got us to follow each other in the first place, but I’m truly grateful that it happened because talking to you is just the best part of my day a lot of the time. I know we make jokes about being unlucky because we’re the sobbe that are separated by an ocean, but in a lot of ways, I still feel so lucky that the universe brought us together anyway. I love you, baby 💙💙

@tsjernobyl Emma!! You’re one of my favorite blogs on here, and like I said when you followed me, I really wasn’t expecting it lol. But I’m grateful that you did because you’re definitely one of my faves to see on my dash and to interact with. You gifs and art are always so creative and beautiful and your presence in general just brings so much warmth 💙

@sonderthroughthestreets / @embeddedinmybrain Tasfia, you are truly one of the sweetest souls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You’re so sweet and supportive and any time I get an ask from you or just see you on my dash, I smile. There’s a reason your emoji is the sun, and it’s cause you’re like a ray of sunshine ☀️. Also, you’re just a crazy talented writer and I can’t wait to see what you have in store for the future!!

@robbesdriesen Bianca, not only are you just so kind, but you’re also just one my favorite writers. I haven’t gotten a chance to reach your new fic (25K girl, how do you do it?) but I know it’s gonna be amazing like all of your others. You’re writing is so beautiful, which really just reflects the wonderful person you are as well 💙

@zoesrobbe My emo over the flatshare buddy! Lmao, as much as I curse you for it when make me miss them, I’m definitely also grateful for it, not just cause I’m soft for them but also because it usually means seeing your wonderful gifs. You’re so very talented when it comes to gif making, be it the coloring of the effects or the custom shapes added over, it all just adds up to truly gorgeous sets that always make me happy whenever I see them on my dash. Not to mention that you’re just such a lovely person on top of all that talent 😘

@suburbanenigma Carmen! We really haven’t gotten to talk much, but your shitposts are always some of my favorite things to see on my dash. You’re so funny and I definitely hope we get to talk more in the future 💙

Because I have a lot of mutuals that I haven’t really interacted with a whole lot, I’m gonna add a little section here to just thank all of you as well. I’m not the best at talking to people but know that I appreciate and love all of you as well and seeing you guys one my dash always makes me smile 💙

@dagcutie @mrijzermans @birthdaysentiment @joanabianchi @nyttvera @gele-gordijnen @annonymannonym @sanderxrobbee @mirroroferisedx @angel-necklace @itubainaretro @welcometo-saturn @sander-klaas @driesenrobbe @jebentnietalleen

Thank you so much to all of you and I wish all of you a very happy New Year!

[yeoldontknow]

❧ check in tag

tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333

going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~

1. Why did you choose this url?

its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh

7. Why did you choose your header

my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot

8. What's your post with the most notes?

uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me

10. How many followers do you have?

more than i probably deserve

11. How many people do you follow?

399

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao

13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?

tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.

16. Do you like tag games?

i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends

17. do you like ask games?

i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:

@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx

and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x

[brujahinaskirt]

@missn11​ says:

Ask and ye shall receive, fellow neonate! <3 Bear with me, because I’m about to hammer out 2000 words very quickly...

This massive rant by its topic nature is sort of Nines-critical, so lemme start by saying that, in my own way, I love Rodriguez. (I was partially self-burning in the shitpost that ignited this rant because I SEVERELY exaggerated Nines’s canonical shadiness levels in my ancient fanfiction, and for no other reason than because I was a teenage edgelord. I am appropriately embarrassed, but only by my excess and melodrama, not by Troika’s characterization. I think the writing behind VTMB’s Nines is superb.)

When it comes to Bloodlines, I think he’s one of the most psychologically interesting profiles in the game. In fact, I could never get into LA by Night because they so de-toothed Troika’s vision of him. Not to say LA by Night’s Nines was a poorly-developed character in his own right, ‘cause he wasn’t at all, but “my” Nines will always be unapologetically and only Troika’s: boiling angry, viciously pragmatic, a survivor who doesn’t let anyone too close lest they see through him, whose over-the-top confident façade cracks a little more every time his back’s against the wall. Troika’s Nines is the epitome of greater VTM’s “fallen rebel” archetype, and even though we don’t get to see it on all playthoughs, that makes it even better and more believable.

But as with all characterization in Bloodlines, we have to read between the lines and between our own play styles a bit to piece the truth of the puzzle together...

Besides the direct evidence Troika gives us—i.e. the music cues, which are a bit overbearing if I’m honest (sorry, Troika! ilu); the absence of Nines in Rosa’s prophecy re: people you can trust; and the overt warnings Camarilla-aligned characters give us about him—the biggest red flag about Rodriguez, imo? It’s twofold:

the way the characters he surrounds himself with talk about him and the type of vampire he chooses to fill his den. Namely: Nines exclusively recruits angry, spurned, mistreated people who are younger and far less experienced than he is

those messy, ugly, fleeting moments where you see his toughguy everyman personality crack

So! Starting with point one:

THE PERSONALITY CULT ITSELF

We can’t deny that Nines does not surround himself with peers. He surrounds himself with followers—people who don’t challenge him in any way, who are fanatically loyal, who openly profess their worship of him and their conviction he could never/would never do anything wrong. If you listen to how Damsel and Skelter talk about him, it’s with frightening adulation, often repeating Nines’s lines word-for-word without truly understanding the argumentation behind them. (Damsel’s the main offender here with her “IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME… it just makes sense, you know? It just makes sense!” And then, of course, she gets pissed and refuses to speak to you when you push her into elaborating.)

Nines has clearly made himself much more than just a friend-figure or a Sire-figure to them. He’s utterly and completely mythologized by the LA Anarchs, held up next to other politically mythologized names like George Washington and Ho Chi Minh. His followers love him… but there’s a pecking order, and like good body shields, they believe their lives don’t matter as much as he matters. And they love that, too. They want to die for Nines. They’re not just willing to or resigned to it; they’re eager to die. Damsel will volunteer this information the first time you meet her. She just can’t wait to prove herself by taking a bullet for goddamn Nines Rodriguez. It’s literally how she introduces herself to new people.

And yet Nines deliberately withholds his attention and time from his followers. He uses his attention as a reward, as incentive. He rations some care and reassurance and help—makes you feel good and gives you reason to crave his attention—and then he pushes you away, back into his adoring ranks until the next “two minutes” you earn from him in which you’re special enough for such an exceptional, important, cool guy to talk to. That’s a classic manipulation tactic, and a classic personality cult tell.

And Troika is so damn fuckin’ brilliant about it because they don’t stop at showing us that an Anarch-aligned fledgling might feel this way—no, they make the PLAYER also feel this way. On our first playthrough of Bloodlines, we’re desperate to talk to Nines. We want the reward. “Let me finish the plaguebearer quests… let me run to the Elizabeth Dane… I hope Nines talks to me again now! Quick, to the Last Round! Maybe if I say the right thing to make him like me, he’ll give me another free EXPERIENCE POINT!” (iirc he’s one of two characters who will do so, and the only one who gives multiple points.)

But at the end of the day, Nines is indisputably the leader of the Anarchs, and even fledgling figures that out. (“Sounds like you’re the Prince of the Anarchs.”) He’s very much the Baron of Downtown LA, even if he won’t use that language. As for the grating day-to-day management and leadership stuff that might make him somewhat unpopular among the Anarchs, though? He fobs all that stuff off on Damsel!

Damsel, his Minion No. 1—whom a lot of players will hate on their early playthroughs, because she assigns tough missions with little to no reward. Damsel, who has no real power role in the Anarchs and functions only to serve Nines. You help Damsel, and you do Nines’s work—i.e. you do the work of the Barony of LA—and he doesn’t even have to take the admiration hit by having to ask you himself.

There’s only one non-follower of note around Nines. It’s Jack, and by his own words, he’s not one of Nines’s people; he disparages them, in fact. And we’ll notice that Jack—who is stronger, older, and wiser than Nines—very much doesn’t talk about Nines the same way Nines’s followers do. While Jack doesn’t directly insult him and occasionally defends him, Jack also has a downright shocking response to the announcement of the Blood Hunt. When fledgling desperately asks what they can do to help Nines—Jack says, word-for-word: I could give a damn.

Something ain’t quite right about this place.

Moving right along:

NINES IS A FAKE ALPHA MALE WHO KNOWS HE’S GOING TO DIE

Part of why Nines is so attractive to someone scared and weak like our fledgling (or Skelter or Damsel) is that he seems utterly fucking untouchable—like nothing scares him, and that must be reassuring when two of your age-old enemies are moving into town. But Nines’s tough, cool, Devil-may-care persona outs itself as a protective shell, too… and this is another thing I think Troika handled so subtly and so well.

You’ll notice that even Nines’s voice is dramatically different in a couple different situations: when Ming Xiao is borrowing his body, when he’s afraid, and when he’s distracted or deeply disturbed. (A successful Malkavian mind read will really slam a crack in his coolguy persona. For a second, the nonchalance shatters and he childishly screams SHUT UP!)

But whether you Malk him or not: In those isolated moments, the Coolguy Nines Rodriguez we normally see frays. Physically, even! His accent loses its burr (that ballsy rural American everyman accent), shoots up to a higher register—and reveals a much softer voice than the one he uses in front of other people. No wonder; part of Nines’s charisma comes from his performance of masculine confidence, and even if it’s not a toxically patriarchal masculinity in the way we often picture it, the fact this performance cracks at all shows it’s not his genuine self. He’s acting. In the way a lot of toughguy men do—but for Nines, whose survival depends upon attraction now, he’s acting toughguy for his very life.

I think those little fray-under-pressure moments are the “real” Nines, or as close as we’re going to get: scared, desperate, worn-down, and very aware of his doom.

Now, all that said…

BLATANT FALLEN REBEL CONCEPT APOLOGISM

I don’t think we can quite throw Rodriguez into the same Mean Monster Morality Dungeon for Evil Vampires as other Big Bads in LA. This is where motivation comes into play, at least for me. We know Nines can be merciless and violent, and he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his own soldiers (namely, um, US!) to protect his holdings. But he does seem to have a twinge of genuine anger over injustices wrought upon “little people” (look no further than Nocturne)—one that seems like it stems from a sense of right v. wrong rather than sheer pragmatism. This stands in stark opposition to the rationed pacificism of characters like LaCroix, who simply doesn’t want the headache of cleaning up a pile of dead humans on his nightly to-do list.

Nines also, of course, just doesn’t have the same kind of disaster reach other Bloodlines Big Bads do in how much harm he can cause. When LaCroix gets up to some bullshit, he crashes the national economy. Nines, like, crashes a car into a corporate office window or takes over a street or something. Can’t really compare the two when it comes to the scale of damage done.

And even Nines Rodriguez is, for all his strategy, still an honestly angry person. Not all of him is fake—what’s troubling about him is what he’s willing to sacrifice and do to satiate his anger-passion. It’s the standard Brujah emotional-moral struggle. Even though I agree with much of what he says about bloodsucking late capitalist vampires (tbh he seems to hate vampires in general!), one wonders if it’s not partially the anger-passion that’s warped him into the façade of a noble leader he’s become. It’s not a pure anger anymore; he’s weaponized it in selfish, unhealthy, destructive ways.

But if he’s a fallen rebel—and since he is still apparently capable of some genuine anger and sadness—then we can infer he wasn’t always like this. He fell, and narratively, that’s key to understanding Clan Brujah. Maybe he fell in a way all of us angry rebel-types risk falling if we let our hatred of the bloodsuckers in real life outgrow and consume our care for the real-world little people.

I think we also have to appreciate that—as far as we know—the shady shit Nines does, he primarily does to prolong his power. But for a threatened Anarch like Nines, power doesn’t mean expansion or accumulation as it might for an ascending Ventrue; it primarily means survival. The Camarilla and Kuei-jin incursions into LA have numbered his days, and he can’t possibly have any delusions about this, no matter how much he swaggers. So he does what he can do with the skills and limited resources he has. He corrupts vulnerable, angry, abused people by giving them the appearance of friendship, family, and hope they can become stronger—much like effective gang leaders do.

If he’s morally nastier than other power-players like LaCroix in some way, imo, it’s here. It’s the intimacy with which he manipulates the people around him. LaCroix may lie to you; Strauss may withhold information from you; Ming Xiao may double-cross you. But none of them ask that you love them. That’s not their goal; that’s not how they operate. None of them expect or encourage anyone to happily die for them of their own free will. If they get you killed, you’ll die resenting them—resenting that you had to die, at all.

But when you die for people like Nines Rodriguez, you do it willingly, if only because you believed he cared somehow and that he’d fight tooth-and-nail for you, too. You believed that you were a member of his little outcast family—or that you would be, if you just proved yourself a little bit more. If you just fought a little harder. If you were just a little happier about having the chance to die for the cause. Maybe if you die for Nines, then Nines will love you, too.

I don’t think he does. I don’t think he will. If he’s a true fallen rebel archetype, I don’t know if he can anymore.

That’s enough Anarchs for now! I’m gonna peace out with some copy/pasted lyrics from the theme song of Nines’s den: the ballad of the charming and vengeful Lecher Bitch. Stay sharp, my little Bloodlines fanatics!

Tell me your story Don't worry, I've been there Crown me your savior Don't worry, I'll be there

[Chorus] I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay I'm diggin' all the way All the way down I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay Gonna rip you every way On the way down again [Bridge] Don't belong lording above me Won't be hard to pull you underground It won't be long 'til you love me And I'll be coming at your back To break it down

[modern-oedipus]

The fact that I have a therapy session tomorrow and that I haven’t properly thought of what my therapist asked me to think of is concerning. She told me to take it easy and open up slowly, but I have been avoiding the subject for last two sessions. I want to confront the reason that made me suicidal in past as well, but ah, I don’t want to dig a closed wound.

It’s gonna take a lot of courage.

It’s gonna make me hurt, for sure.

But I am determined to go through.

I’m scared and it’s uncomfortable, but? I will do what I believe to be right! Ah.. not to get dramatic but, that’s why Conflict’s first chapter is named Courage. Because Ray was courageous. Because /I/ was courageous to post a story that I really wanted to share with people but had absolutely zero people I knew in entire ao3/tumblr (I joined solely to post), I was courageous enough to finally write the first chapter despite the depressive voice in me telling me that I shouldn’t, that I’m not worth it, that I can’t write anything anyway.

Almost a year passed and we have met many different chalenges.. sometimes I was courageous and sometimes I wasn’t. But I’m grateful that Conflict got me out if my comfort zone and made me met all of the amazing people here, that I got to be approached by so many authors/artists/readers who shared their experiences with me, even personal ones. I made many memories and experienced so much joy while writing stories, posting updates and even just randomly shitposting on “modern oedipus”.

I just need to be courageous again. I have been courageous constantly nowadays and it’s super tiring, but you know what? Despite everything, even on the times she fucks up, I love the Nila that’s so courageous— the Nila that’s reasonably human, Nila that chose to “seek the truths” despite the potential discomfort.

I just need to take extra care of my health recently, because both college and personal life have been challenging. I need to get up, fill my academic agenda, write down some interpretations for tomorrow’s therapy (she said it wasn’t obligatory, but I don’t want our sessions to just be chat. I believe I have been greatly benefiting from the consuelling, since it did give me a visible shift in my mental chaos, even though it is early and not all of my problems are solved. So I don’t want to “waste” a session and go empty minded, I want to my best, as much as I can.), start working on my assignment and if I can, check up/cherish on those I love, though I am socially exhausted right now and I’d probably appreciate being checked up on rather than the opposite.

Either way, it’s still a day, one that I can twist to be pretty, so, let’s just take one act of courage.

[nako-doodles]

hi!! 💃🏻?

💃 compliment some people you admire!

don’t tell me I didn’t warn you: this is going to be Long™, anonie

🌼@seokjinsult​​🌼

sam💍 my love my wife I love you 😘 its kinda crazy we were just strangers just 2 and some change months ago, and here we are, literally talking everyday, sleeping at odd times (because time zones hold nothing against our connection), adopting children (re: anyone born in this bright millennium), being judgmental together, complaining about adulting……we really are A Pair™

thank you for blessing my life and my dash with super aesthetic mood boards and H I L A R I O U S shitposts and just overall heightening my experience on this hellsite and my life in general like the bright Polaris star that you are. thank you for tolerating me and my chaos and my long ass rants and typo-ridden messy tags and frequent incomprehensible replies ilusm💕

🌸@jinseas​🌸

pri💜 my love, you were actually one of the first moots I made when I first remade, with my god awful long ass url and not-quite-there blog aes. I dont know what made you follow me, but im grateful for your presence in my life nonetheless

thank you for sticking with me and sending me rude af bangtan pics for me to wake up to every morning, for making me laugh every time I read your tags, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Posts, for posting Relatable and Funny af posts, for hosting EMO HOURS FOR JIN posts that never fail to bring me back to my ocean of tears (the ocean galaxy for bangtan? yea that’s my ocean of TEARS), for being one of the sweetest bubbliest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing 💕

🌺@kimseokjinniestan​🌺

anna💘 my love, you were the post person to tag me in one of those tumblr tag games (it was the one where you had to record yourself reading a bunch of words), and I remember thinking wow I didnt realize someone could sound so genuinely lovely and sweet over just like…4? minutes? of audio???? you must either be crafted from rainbows and sunshine, or capable of miracles

thank you for being so caring and considerate, for being your kind and bubbly self, for being so sweet to both me and your followers, for being so supportive and wholesome, for posting Quality content with (for fear of sounding like 2012 tumblr) #relatable tags, for crying over jin with me 💕

🌼@seokjiniesgf​🌼

megan😘 I think ive told you before, my love, but like your blog header? attacks me??? every time I tag you and Tumblr goes: is this the blog you want to tag?? your url is a whole mood and the color scheme is gorgeous and everytime I read your tags I get stitches from trying to not burst out into giggles and make my parents think im (more) crazy (than usual). idr when we became moots but im grateful that I can call such a lovely person my friend and moot

thank you for being such an accepting person, for tagging all your posts w some of the most hilarious and #mood tags that I am getting an ab workout every time I read them, for being one of the sweetest humans ive had the pleasure of knowing, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for making me smile all the time, for letting me call you a friend💕

🌸@odeng1e​🌸

wendi😍 my love, gods youre HILARIOUS and your pun-taculous tags for the members and your ‘welcome to wendi’s’ tag? 120% iconic. still one of my fave ‘about me’ tags on this hell site. and your answer to why you named your url sTILL SENDS ME

thank you for supporting my weak-ass humour, for just being supportive and lovely and funny and wholesome and exuding love in general, for not taking any shit, for being an Aes Queen, for making me giggle every time I read your tags, for checking up on me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin Content, for reminding me that iconic seokjin Look™ every time I go on your blog 💕

🌺@jinsapeach​🌺

dia💖 my love, you’re so sweet and lovely even candy stores are envious of you! in fact your so sweet im not quite sure you’re real and not a figment of my imagination bc how can so much talent and love and sweetness and cute fit into one human??? impossible (also ur url? a whole ass mood)

thank you for being such an incredibly positive and bright presence on my dash, for feeding me and your followers well with your ICONIC gifs, for being so generous with your time and your energy and your talent, for always being so bright and happy, for always making me smile 💕

🌼@jinbeann​🌼

roma💓 you are also one of my first moots on this hellsite, my love, and honestly I might have done a happy dance when you followed back bc you, my love, are absolutely Hilarious. one of the funniest people I know. not to mention, your tags for the members are so cute my heart melts every time you tag seokjin mvp….a mood

thank you for encouraging my love for Seokjin’s dad jokes, for having some of the most iconic tags around, for being your wondrously wholesome funny sweet adorable self, for indulging me on all my ask games, for being so supportive, for making me laugh so hard once I almost fell off the office chair and I had to explain to my deskman why I almost propelled myself out of the stratosphere like chim does for seokjin, for bringing me laughter💕

🌸@cafejoon​��

tate💞 my love my bday buddy, you are one of the most wholesomely cute and genuine people I have had the pleasure of knowing and interacting with?? im genuinely baffled at how witty and funny and lovely person exists in my life?? and brings so much smiling every time I see you on my dash im going to get early onset wrinkles??

thank you for being such a wholesome soft sweetheart, for blessing my dash with joon and cute posts, for being so damned funny and so witty in your tags, for being some of the kindest humans ive ever met, for inspiring to be better, for being such a quality human being 💕

🌺@monosgf​🌺

sai💝 my love, who probably specializes in being a giant softie and also opening lovin joon hours 24/7, you are always so funny and lovely and just…so Good? both as a human and also as a hilarious blog on my dash? you make my experience on Tumblr so much better? 

thank you for laughing at my typos with me, for tagging me in Quality Seokjin posts, for indulging me in my ask games, for being such a wholesome cutie, for being a whole ass comedian in the tags, for having such a big heart, for being such a bright presence in my dash 💕

🌼@jinergy​🌼

kasey💗 you were one of the first seokjin blogs I found when I remade and I remember thinking wow…that is a prime url…120% quality…..and honestly after all these months, you haven’t proven me wrong. a whole ass cutie, a whole ass comedian, a whole ass sweetheart, a whole ass mood…honestly save some nice attributes for the rest of us mortals thanks

thank you blessing my dash with shinee and other hilarious content, for showering me in your love, for your giant heart full of love, for owning some of the driest wit around, for being so supportive and sweet, for tagging me in all the Tumblr tags, for laughing at my tags, for being my friend 💕

🌸@t0d-oder-freiheit​🌸

tina❤️, you, my love, are my actual longest mutual here on this hellsite (like you remember and interacted with sophomore-in-high-school shirley?? and still chose to stay with me??? for the past god knows how many years and through me remaking my blog and switching fandoms and no longer really reblogging anything of interest to you??? you deserve an award). 

thank you for always checking in on me and sending me funny German words and hilarious memes and pictures of your adorable cat and your town and the concerts you’ve gone to and cheering me up and telling me how much you appreciate me and my humour and making sure I stay healthy and sleeping at an appropriate time and wow I love you alright? thank u for keeping me sane all these years. its been a long ride, and I hope we stay friends for even longer💕

🌺 @yoooooongiis 🌺

cass💙 my smol bub, I dont know if you know this but you are one of the prime suppliers to my overflowing meme folder. I honestly dont know how you run so many blogs and somehow tag me on all of them (honestly at this point if I get a notif of a random blog tagging me in some post I just assume its you) bc I only run one and im overwhelmed half the time?? how do you do it teach me your ways??

thank you for always sending and tagging me in Quality Content, for being hilarious and relatable and cute, for laughing at my tags, for staying up at ass o clock in the morning and sending me the memeiest bangtan memes I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing, for indulging in ridiculous meme showdowns with me, for being a Top Quality Person💕

💓sweet red emoji asks💓

[noseydewdrop]

I have a ridiculous amount of free time (mostly) at my work, I was thinking about posting this privately but then I wouldn’t be able to access this on my school’s computer. Rough drafts for my blog “ Living in Japan as an Language teacher”

Hidden Video Script Drafts:

3/18/20 - How I landed my dream job pt 1 (animation)

I wasn't always a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason". You wouldn’t be too if you grew up with my family. I recently experienced this in it's true form a while back when I heard the news that my brother was in the hospital. The timing could not have been worse as it was the Friday and night before my mom and my step dad's planned 20th anniversary on a European Caribbean Cruise of a lifetime. I was basically a vampire with my friends’ work schedules; wanting to play games with them everyday until late, and I mean LATE into the night.

On that Friday, I was casually sleeping in at 12 pm when I woke up to the most panicked mother I’ve ever experienced in my life (no joke). She insisted that since my brother is in the hospital and my step dad has decided to stay home (instead of vacation for the next 2 weeks), that I should go with her in my dad's place so she wouldn't be forced to go alone and ultimately cancel the trip they planned what seemed like forever ago.

It was a Friday in mid September and I worked at a successful, and booming American restaurant in the Seattle area. One that so happens to be among the most vibrant in the company and having set numerous company records. We were planning to be busy AF on that Friday. I was pathetic yet hopeful and doomed in the back of my mind, all while calling my boss thinking “how can I get the next 4 weeks off IMMEDIATELY” (Even more fishy that it was directly before a scheduled vacation to Japan that I requested off in April earlier that year)..

Back it up several months when two of my close friends and I planned our FIRST abroad trip ever to Japan. Saying I was an inexperienced traveler was an understatement- I never flew on a plane alone before, let alone out of the country. And miraculously, that 2 week long cruise just so happens to land the NIGHT before our planned vacation, and 6 hours before my next plane in SEATAC with my buddies to Japan. The stars aligned for this to happen, and if it came down to it, I thought “I will quit my job for this opportunity”.

But back to reality. Given the circumstances with my brother, my boss gave me Friday off and I spent the rest of the day frantically thinking of how to tell him (I’m not coming in this weekend, let alone this month. I kept it light to say the least and told him I only needed Friday off) without getting fired. For most people in my situation, I thought “they would quit for this once in a lifetime chance”. A minimum wage job is just another job, and this is not an opportunity that comes around.. EVER. Also I had no rent to pay, no financial concerns besides a student loan payment and a decent amount saved up to cover that payment without working for about a year, I mean wouldn't quit even if I (normally) wanted to. For me it was a different story. I really liked, I mean, loved my job. The people I worked with were basically family and for me quit on the spot would be so uncharacteristic of me, it would honestly be depressing for even me. I also never had a job where I could get along so easy with everyone I worked with. And with me addicted to Pokemon go and it being on 2 poke stops, it honestly didn't even feel like a job, yet more fun and satisfying than anywhere I worked before (hell, back then I KILLED for a job that meant basically playing Pokemon all day). More importantly, the restaurant taught me extremely valuable life skills; how to talk to people and be more friendly and open, instead of being my natural shy introverted self. I thought I found the perfect balance of work, extroversion and motivation to break me out of my, so called “normal” yet introverted way of thinking..

After speaking with my boss' roommate about how break it to him, I called the morning before my flight to Barcelona, telling him in vivid detail this situation I’m in, playing it as a family emergency, so my mom and dad wouldn't have wasted all the money they spent planning this trip (Sorry Riki it had to be like that!).

So I had the next 4 weeks off for my vacation around the world. From my layover in Dublin Ireland, to Barcelona Spain, with my mom on her dream cruise that showcased her favorite speaker, with a handful of the most vibrant and successful crowd of a people; with stops in France, Spain, Italy and UK Gibraltar. This was the peak of my existence (so far) and that deserves an entire story on its own. This is probably where I break this off into two parts

(sorry but as of 6/24, pt 2 is an unedited shitpost of a draft draft)

3/18/20 - How I landed my dream Job pt 2

After returning home from my Japan trip with my friends, I had so many experiences in so many countries, I felt so confident about how surprisingly independent I could be. Fast forward 2 weeks when my mother’s retirement party (in late October; she decided to retire earlier than expected instead of waiting till the end of the year) came suddenly, and was a party I could not miss. The night before, I was out at a bar with one of my best friend’s going away party, and I had a lot, maybe too much to drink. It was difficult but I made it, and in my introverted stupor and exhausted mood, I met dozens of my mother's decade long coworkers while having a few drinks at the private bar the company decided to cater for her.

It as a small, yet packed room of very knowledgeable business people; coworkers of my mom. She for the credit union for 20+ years and was the head of the loans department (and probably one of the most essential parts of the company). I was casually drinking near the bartender, and wound up talking to the nearest person in my area as I awaited the food to be served. He was in a suit and appeared in his late 50's. I learned that he didn't work directly with my mom but they knew each other as he was on the leadership side of the company. Little did I know this small, random conversation would be the spark to changing my entire future and be the pinnacle of my working career and how I landed a job with a instructors visa to teach English in Japan.

Hours passed after our brief meeting and he called me over after the food was served. I was introduced to his wife, and we discussed how their children were in close relations with my HS since their kid's HS was near mine, therefore rivaled each other in sports. We delved into the after HS and college topic and started talking about my college experiences and how I ended up as a Biology major, yet randomly working as a host in a restaurant.

My last year of college I took 1 quarter of Japanese and had an epiphany that I wish I had during freshman year; my future self was dying to study Japanese abroad. I then told them how I applied to a language company I heard of through a professor's English class that I was a TA in for Japanese exchange students from Tokyo University. Sadly the company was really competitive and I may have partied too hard and let my GPA set me apart from the thousands of yearly applicants (not to mention Seattle apparently is a hot spot for this particular company). My mom's coworker and his wife told me how their daughter taught English in Japan for 6 years and she applied to the same company with a 4.0 and still didn't get in.

I guess they hire based off region and Seattle was way more competitive than I thought. They gave me her contact info and I promptly emailed her that night. After a long conversation about her experiences, she recommended me to the company I am currently working for, and now I’m in Japan teaching English. Things were falling into place for me back then, just like stars, pin-holed in the curtain of night. Like the needle of momentum, I received from the European cruise was still in motion, There was nothing in the world I wanted more than achieving that dream.

I feel everything that happened was for this door to open for me, and the stars aligned so perfectly for me. From the timing of the cruise (and circumstances (don't worry my brother was fine)) and landing right before my planned trip with my friends, to my mom retiring early just in the perfect window for this company to hire me. I felt that everything was going my way and nothing could stop me; by just knowing exactly what I wanted.. I realized how much more control I have over my life by simply setting the intention and putting it out there, in the realm of thought. The mind is so much more powerful than I could ever imagine, and by me simply just asking for something with deliberate intention, the universe aligned the planets, or some shit I can’t ever actually comprehend, for it to work out; I’m convinced there's no way this is a coincidence.

I had this happen to me before, but not on this level. Yet I am so grateful for my parents and being exposed to the Law of Attraction at such a young age, and just accept everything and not question the logistics. As a science major I question a lot of things and there is no possible way I could ever doubt this being true after what I experienced. You could say it was luck, but the fact that when I asked for this, it happened almost like magic.

It is truly unreal to me. I feel I have so much more control of my life than I ever would have thought was possible. Now I am on a one way plane to Japan, amidst the Corona Virus outbreak and flight cancellations. Nothing in the world could stop me now. (Also, they closed the boarder a week after I arrived in Japan and as of July, it is still closed indefinitely).

P.S. This was composed on my flight to Japan overwhelmed with emotion. My recent stepmother worked at the airport I departed, so my father had inside info on my flight and planned a surprise send off. Safe to say it was the closest feeling I’ve felt with my dad since my parents were recently divorced. He gave me a key chain of his favorite car he had while I was younger, my current car (black new beetle Volkswagen), and we both silently teared up from all the childhood memories and love we can’t regularly express but have been pressured into this ultimatum of me potentially never returning to the life we we’re both use to. I wont include this in the final, but since this just the beginning, I figured anyone who actually reads this will be one in a million; someday. I have never been so sure, that anyone; anything you want or can ever imagine to have. It’s right at your fingertips, all you have to do is think, and believe it. Life is magic.

[icecreambat]

Story time: Dating everyone in P5 turned Joker into a sociopath

The first time I ended up dating more than one girl in a Persona game, it was an honest accident. I’d already imprinted on Chie in Persona 4, and had no idea comforting Yukiko during her social link would turn me into a two-timing douche. A quick save-state reload rectified this mistake, but it taught me an important lesson: in Persona games, monogamy is not the limit of your teenage life.

As Persona 5 rolled around, I grew fond of Makoto on my first playthrough. With her on my side I experienced the Phantom Thief thrill ride, maxing my social links while gently turning other girls down. It wasn’t until the NewGame+ that I wondered: wouldn’t it be interesting to try the multi-dating thing? That way I could fast-forward all romance scenarios and not watch them on Youtube later like a loser, duh. If this game was intentionally giving me the opportunity to be Tokyo’s biggest Don Juan, then by Mona, I’d do it!

Little did I know, though, that as I embarked on a quest to bag all the single ladies* the whole atmosphere of the game changed. What had been a more or less generic adventure about truth and justice took on some… rather disturbing undertones, ones that went beyond the actual dating scenarios. In fact, the game turned out to be such an interesting social experiment that I wanted to write about it, so here I am. So, this is a recap of how dating multiple people in Persona 5 turned my Joker into a sociopath.

* except for Makoto, because a) I already romanced her before and b)…. it didn’t feel right, her being my first and all. SO SUE ME I’M A LOSER AFTER ALL

So. Here we are again, moving to Tokyo, whoop de doo. NewGame+ means not having to waste days on working out the ropes, so you can focus on the stuff that matters: getting as overpowered as you can in the least amount of time possible. For me, this meant maxing out Kawakami’s social link as fast as I could, because her bonuses are pretty swank – I really could have used the post-Mementos or post-palace massages during my first playthrough too, but kinda forgot about her right after Operation Maidwatch. Well, no more! I was bringing that teacher home left and right at every possible instance, so obviously I ended up maxing her link first. Ergo, we entered a relationship. 

I’m not gonna lie: the Kawakami romance is some weird (and arguably illegal) shit. Maybe that kinda set the tone of this adventure from the start, giving me an mc who was 100% ok with romancing his homeroom teacher slash part time maid. Uh… huh. Given that my suspension of disbelief went out of the window right about there, it was easy to pick the “omg i totally like, care about you and stuff” dialogue options that went with it; I mean, I was doing this for science and stuff, no big deal.

That’s why it surprised me that when it was time to romance the next (un)lucky girl, I felt like shit about it. Not because of Kawakami, but because Ann wasn’t some ludicrous dating option pulled out of the “lol what if we let the players date everyone!!” shitpost book. Instead, Ann and the mc had already been through Some Shit together, best friend suicide attempts and sexually abusive PE teachers included, and she was a teenage girl looking for her place in the world. So when Ann confided in me about her feelings and told the mc she loved him, “returning” her feelings –while knowing I was already dating my…. uhh, homeroom teacher slash part time maid– genuinely made me feel like the absolute scum of the earth.

“I can’t do this,” I thought at this point, “Even if these are fictional characters in a fictional game, I feel like shit lying to these girls that I care about them, because obviously that’s not true if I’m so callously dating someone else behind their back. How can people do that in real life if I can’t even do it in a video game? Oh, naïve me! Because my lesson in the callousness of man had only just begun.

Anyway, so. Here I am, dating Kawakami and Ann. I think I figured that lying to my teammates didn’t Feel Very Good so headlining for randos seemed like the better choice to make next: Ohya the reporter ended up being the third girl I romanced, and it was relieving she seemed to understand the unlikely nature of our relationship. “I get that we probably won’t stay together forever,” she was telling me, almost like she knew she was only the third wheel in my extended trailer truck, headed to nowhere fast; the same kinda goes for Tae, the punk rock doctor, whose reservedness somehow made it easier to ignore the serial cheater vibes in the dynamic.

Chihaya, on the other hand, was different. Seemingly a little younger than the other grown-ups, she was already a lot more straightforward about her interest in the mc, and harbored all sorts of weird fantasies about them staying together forever. Which is exactly what I told her would happen. Not! Funny that for a fortune teller she couldn’t see I was also spouting this same shit to four other girls, huh? Chihaya reminded me of Ann, in a way, which is why the Bad Feels actually started to resurface here – it’s one thing to lie boldly in the face of girls (women) who aren’t really that invested in you to begin with, but when it’s people who actually believe said lies… well.

Now, I know, I know. There’s no actual reason to feel guilty, because these choices don’t affect the gameplay in any way. Whether or not the mc is an asshole in some ways will still result in everyone loving the shit out of him, and being sad when he leaves. Sure, there’s the scene after Valentine’s Day where you get beat up for being a cheater and the girls kind of call him out on it, but that’s about it; this isn’t Mass Effect, you can’t go full renegade, etc. etc. But even if the game barely acknowledges the clear disparity in the mc’s words and actions, it’s really hard to overlook as the player, and as I said, it kinda changes the tone of the whole game.

You see, during the course of the story the mc ends up establishing a whole bunch of social links: Ryuji, Yusuke, Mishima and even Sojiro are but few of the guys you end up making heartfelt bonds with too. Only problem is, once you go the Lie Route with the girls, the mc hardly comes across as any more honest with the guys – and this is what really puts a spin on his reliability. Everyone’s always going on about what a great guy he is, but none of them know what a quadruple-timing, lying asshole he is at the same time. And why would they? All he does is tell people what they want to hear!

Apparently the devs of Dream Daddy wanted to challenge the notion that this kind of behaviour automatically leads to “good endings” in visual novels, because it only makes the mc seem a little sociopathic. Sure enough, that’s exactly the word I would use to describe how my mc started to come across in all his social interactions in P5. Well, not all, actually; there was one character whose exchanges with the mc came across as genuine even when virtually nothing else did. Yeah, you guessed it: Akechi.

I’m taking a brief interlude here to talk about Akechi, because my social experiment with the mc’s romances actually ended up underlining how similar he and Akechi are as people. It’s what the game hints at continuously with the whole ~two sides of the same coin stuff anyway, but the point really gets hammered home when you repeatedly watch the mc fake his way through life just like Akechi puts on his own double persona (pun not intended). In that sense, it’s only natural that the two would recognize each other as equals, and that their interactions ring more sincere than any other discussion they have in the game.

But back to serial dating, if you will. After Chihaya, I started dating Hifumi the shogi girl, but to be completely honest I sort of mentally fazed her out; with every new girl I tricked into dating me, the initial unease seemed to diminish until I couldn’t remember what had made me feel so disgusted in the first place. I mean, I was already lying to so many people, what did it matter if I lied to one more, right? It’s not like I actually hung out with anyone ever again after I “entered a relationship” with them, and it’s not like my actions carried over to pre-scripted cutscenes, so who cares, right? Nobody (well, apart from a physical game engine) was forcing these girls to believe my bullshit, so really, the fault was theirs for being so gullible, right!!11

…Well, I might have been able to go along with that type of douchebag logic if I’d only kept dating randos. Since I skipped Makoto, the next girl I got cozy with was Futaba… and this is where the skeezy-ville started to nag on my consciousness again, because like with Ann, you know that Futaba’s been through A Lot: she basically spent the past couple of years as a hikikomori, convinced that her mother committed suicide because of her. Trust is a really big thing for her, so throwing a cheating mc into that equation gets really ugly when you think about how he gains that trust just to betray it. When you add in Sojiro, you’re essentially screwing both of them over while pretending to be a happy little family. If you take these events at face value, it kinda makes you wonder: seriously dude, what on earth is your damage?!

If that wasn’t disturbing enough, we finish with Haru. She is also running from one abuser but, if dating a cheating mc, kind of ends up in the arms of another. Although she enters the story fairly late in the game, it’s no less shitty to listen to her be so grateful for your “support”, knowing you’ve sat through variations of this scene with half a dozen other girls already. I just kind of kept staring at the mc’s poker face (pun not intended, again) while wondering how much worse it seems that none of these choices affect anything tangible in the game, even when the whole theme is helping other people (and shitty authority figures, sure, but mainly helping people).

And you know, it’s really that endless poker face that gives the whole thing such a weird ass vibe: this is a 17-year-old kid who’s moved to Tokyo for a year, and ends up constructing a meticulously crafted fake personality that has everyone treating him like the greatest guy on earth. If you perceive this as the intended story (as opposed to the mismatch of a fixed script and optional gameplay choices that it actually is), Persona 5 suddenly becomes a story much darker than its original premise. Who is the real mc, and why is he doing any of this? What is his actual sense of truth and justice, if he spins it so grotesquely to suit his given situation? How troubled does he have to be for this kind of behaviour to emerge, and what caused it?

I know getting busted on Valentine’s Day is played mainly for laughs, but when you put all this together it’s obvious just getting dumped doesn’t even begin to cover the actual consequences of the mc’s actions should have. For the 100% fake personality he’s clearly constructed up until this point, how anyone can still follow him into the depths of Mementos is beyond me. But hey, I know we’re not operating on earth logic here.

Still, as I mentioned, this levels the mc with Akechi a lot – suddenly it’s very hard to condemn Akechi, even in theory, for the route he ended up taking in life, because isn’t the mc basically doing the same thing? Taking advantage of as many people he can to advance his own ends, with the only difference that he ended up on the winning side? Not only that, but it makes it harder to root for the “good guys”, knowing that you’re not a good guy – you’re just some guy with a big enough charm stat to make people follow your fake ideals, whatever those might in reality be.

Personally, I was also surprised at how easy it was to go from “this is horrible I hate this I can’t lie to these girls” to the “eh whatever, I’ve done this long enough that I’ve distanced myself from giving a shit”, then back to “oh shit oh shit this is so wrong” over the course of a single game. I know this sounds like a hyperbole, but in that sense I’m… actually not that surprised at how people find themselves ignoring those same patterns in real life. Which is why it’s so disheartening there’s only one scene dedicated to the consequences; it would be so interesting if there was something more tangible to remind the player that yeah, you’re entitled to picking these options, but it does turn the mc into someone pretty damn messed up.

I mean, damn – by December I’d maxed out all my social links, and suddenly had shit all to do, and because I couldn’t sit through a single fake date with one of my fake ass girlfriends again, I ended up making my mc train every day and night just so I had something to occupy my time between going out and murdering things in Mementos and/or a palace. Watching him do shirtless pull-ups in his room I sorta realized: Oh my god, I turned my mc into a high school version of Patrick Bateman. This game sure took a turn.

So I suppose the point of this story time is that while dating anyone in P5 (and most Persona games, I’d assume) is ultimately only a gameplay element meant for the player’s extra entertainment, sometimes those seemingly superfluous gameplay elements can turn into unintentional story elements – in this case, an experiment of how easily lying to one person turns into lying to everyone, and how sometimes it’s not that easy to tell at what point you stop being genuine at all. Wow, them video games, huh? Always a source of profound inspiration.... or something.

[rogerdvies]

léo’s 1k follower celebration. yaay. another celebration !! i just finished the last one omg. first off, it’s absolutely insane that there are 1k of you souls following me?? my mother is most definitely paying you fml instead of buying me friends she could be buying me food so i don’t starve buuut. on a more serious note (yes i’m capable thank you very much), i know that 1k (1,000 holy hell) doesn’t sound like much compared to some blogs, but to me that means that there are 1,000 people out there who think my blog is worth following. worth having on their dash every day. worth putting up with my shitposts for. and that... is really touching to me. it means a lot to me. siriusly. to those of you who i interact with often and those of you who i have never interacted with before, thank you for being on the journey of running this blog with me. from the bottom of my heart -- sincerely -- thank you. omh i’m getting sappy it’s time to move on. 

“so... 1k... léo, congrats and all, that’s great, but what are you going to do for us followers to celebrate it and show how much you appreciate us?” oh, i am so glad you asked. it involves confetti (ominous, right?). confetti? what does that mean? well... confetti, it’s obviously a... wedding ??  

as many of you know (or are very quickly about to learn), gregory goyle is the love of my life. the stars in my sky. the light of my universe. i love headcanons about him, i love aesthetics, i just love him. alright? alright. and i’d like to celebrate my (imaginary) wedding to gregory goyle with all of you followers! and also get to know you a bit better. so how am i sending out invitations to my wedding, you ask? well, through a birthday page, of course! name, birth month and day, and, of course, your guest (favorite harry potter character) are all i need to make the reservations !! so come on over and celebrate this joyous occasion with me !! let’s have fun with this, shall we ??

of course everyone is invited to the wedding, but the list of vips (friends) and special guests (link to blogroll) are below the read more!

RULES TO JOIN

must be following our lord and dragon savior

reblog this post (likes don’t count)

send me an ask with: your name + your birthday and month + your favorite harry potter character

also you better send me a congratulations on getting married or else i will be offended this is my wedding after all. jk. i’m kidding. though if you want to have fun with this please do. it’s literally a shitpost celebration but let’s have fun.

if this doesn’t get 20 notes then it never happened.

PERKS OF JOINING

on your birthday (or during the month of) i will make you one of the following related to the character you sent in: a moodboard, a playlist, a name aesthetic, an edit, a headcanon list, etc.

OR 

i will make you an url edit, url moodboard, name aesthetic, solo blog promo, or something of the sort. 

OR

if i get really swamped that month i will do group promos.

either way, you will get a surprise gift sometime during the month of your birthday if i can’t get it to you on the exact day.

PLEASE BE AWARE i know i’ve said this already but  these may not be published on your exact birthday date. something in life might come up and i may not be able to publish it exactly on the day, but i will post one of the above things sometime during your birthday month. as a full-time university student who also works two jobs, i do tend to get very busy.

THE PASTOR.

@unspeaxables. everyone, you have pastor alexis to thank for this wedding. she not only encouraged me to make my 1k follower celebration wedding-themed (because i’m a dork like that), she also helped me plan my wedding with wedding questions and excitement and all-around fun. besides helping me with the wedding preparations, there are some things you should know about alexis. she is a lot of fun. she is great at cheering people up. she’s super sweet. she’s open-minded, and willing to engage in any conversation or talk about any topic. her passion for the harry potter characters is contagious.. i am going to say this lots, but i don’t know what i did to deserve such good friends on tumblr - she’s truly a sweetheart; an angel with a kind soul, and i am grateful to have met her.

alexis also helped me come up with the name for my first son: achilleo. ignore the fact that both gregory and i are male and cannot have children shhh what is logic. 

MAID(S) OF HONOUR.

@hermioneganger. AVA. MY LOVELY AVA. THE AVA WHO RULES MY DRAGON KINGDOM NEXT TO ME. there is so much to say about ava. ava was the first person i spoke to on when i made this tumblr, and she was so kind and welcoming and she’s been beside me ever since as a friend and that was a stroke of luck on my part to meet her so soon and be lucky enough to get along with her. she’s always positive and kind and excited and it always pumps me up for everything too. ava is an honest-to-god blessing, a tumblr angel. she’s always willing to look over my stuff and then get me pumped up and proud of it by being supportive and telling me her honest opinion of it. honestly, i don’t know what i would do without ava’s constant support. well, i do: i probably would never post anything. 

@nviles. julia deserves all the love. honestly. she’s so sweet and precious and such a kind soul -- she’s always brightening my day with these cute little thoughtful messages that she leaves me and these headcanons about character and these beautiful edits and these interesting stories about her life. she’s also, like, super open-minded about new ideas and that’s so cool. and she lets me sneak into the ravenclaw dorm; we have a niffler named nev and a bowtruckle named noot together and they are best friends and she makes sure that i don’t accidentally kill my bowtruckle noot because i’m horrible with plants. she also supports my marriage to gregory goyle. enough said. ♥

BRIDESMAIDS / GROOMS.

@auroremus. @delacouvr. @starrylovegood. @aurrorevans. @rvvenclaws. @siruisblack. @vveirdsisters. @holy-snitch. @howlingremus. @chrlieweasleys. these are my very-special mention blogs. all of these blogs are aesthetically gorgeous and top-notch, but on top of that (and more importantly, to me) all of these bloggers are super sweet and super kind and just phenomenal human beings to interact with. like, let’s go in order.

bruna is hilarious and thoughtful and adorable, claire is a total doll who can always make me smile even if she doesn’t know it, alex can make me laugh at anytime and she also inspires me, joanna is willing to go on wild headcanon rides with me and she definitely pushes me to be more creative and think outside the box and develop my ideas further, rae encourages me to broaden my horizons with amazing book recommendations and this intellectual conversation not just harry-potter based (though she’s afk right now and i miss her), charlie surprises me a lot with random shit and makes me laugh, teresa’s creativity pushes me to develop myself and my own creativity more and also spurs my passion for things i love that i sometimes feel insecure about, nana is super sweet and even though we haven’t spoken much she’s another one of those people who pushes me to actually develop my ideas and put things into action instead of just thinking about them, and sandhya is another one of those bloggers that i haven’t spoken to as much as i would like but from what i have she’s super sweet and supportive and funny and her blog is to die for and was one of the first i followed when i joined. all of these people are just... ahhh. then there’s vaan, the cool dragon uncle who is a total sweetheart and hilarious in the percyprotectionnet chat and so friendly and sweet and who also pushes me to expand my creativity from just “thinking” to actually “doing”. they are just great, and they make my experience with this blog so much more alive and personal and fun.

BLOGROLL.

i started off writing each and every url here... but i soon realized that i follow a lot of amazing souls, and i don’t want to leave a single one of them out. so please, check them all out here !!

[bap-time]

we can ask anything? who's your best tumblr friend/friends and why?

WELL ANON

THIS BECAME A LONG POST ABOUT THE THREE PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE I TALK TO THE MOST.

Also, pls understand that I love a lot of people on this website, but I don’t interact with everyone that much. I’m not a very social person, and messaging with people can often leave me exhausted, so I while I adore a lot of people here, I might not talk to them privately that much.

Still, here is my big mushy affection confession for three good friends of mine:

(OH AND I KNOW TWO OF YOU HATE THE MUSH BUT GET FUKKEN MUSHED ON REGARDLESS)

FIRST UP IS @daehyuns-beautiful-golden-skin aka @bestabsoluteperfectcrack

oh hello Mica you fell into my life a week after I created this blog (or did i fall into yours???). You’re such an incredible person and you’ve become such a big part of my life it’s insane. I think in the almost 5 months we’ve known each other I can count on one hand the days we haven’t talked or interacted at all (which is crazy??? how many hours of our lives have been spent yelling at each other in all-caps?). I’m so happy that I can call someone like you my best friend and I feel honoured that you consider me to be the same to you. 

It’s weird, I only have three people in my life that i count as best friends (you’re one of them), and the other two I’ve known for more than half my life. I’d forgotten what it’s like to meet a person and just click so intensely and quickly that you become so close so fast. It was a bit intimidating at first, and I worried that I was getting way too clingy with how short of a time we’d known each other (i can reach a daehyun level of clingyness sometimes but i’m working on it). Now I know we both appreciate each other a lot, even if you’re a little bit less likely to express that (yesterday when you sent me a heart i almost died).

The fact that I can spend so much time talking to you, if it’s (playfully) arguing or comforting each other or discussing things about b.a.p or sharing our experiences with being a-spec… and still always have something to talk about the next day is just… wow. Also I am so happy that I convinced you of the virtue of YoungLo and BangUp (and you made me get super into HimDae bless).

I know we make a lot of jokes about travelling to see each other, but I do actually want to do that some day. Either if it’s me travelling to the Death Country or if it’s you getting the opportunity to see Sweden or anything else, I really want that. Like, really want that. For now, I’m happy just talking to you, because it makes me feel safe and happy.

also you’re a lot softer and sweeter than you like to pretend you are and I feel super flattered whenever you ask me for advice on something and I would give up at least three of my best toes if it meant you could have just a year of complete happiness with no worries. 

and I know you probably got really flustered reading this and you might be looking for a new thing to fight me on TO WHICH I SAY: BRING IT.

Next up: @bestabsoluteshitposts

Oska, my friend! I’m guessing that you’re probably dreading reading this part, and you should, because I have so many good things to say about you. We’ve also known each other since almost the start of this blog (from me repeatedly harassing you which is a GOOD STRATEGY for making friends), but we don’t actually talk that much one-on-one? But that’s okay? I can’t tell if you’re shyer than you like to admit and that this is why you don’t initiate conversations, or if you just don’t feel the need to socialise, but the level we’re at now is very comfortable for me. Not every friendship involves constant contact, and ours is one of those.

I admire you a lot, both on a personal level and more on a humour blog level. You are legit one of the funniest people I’ve met and the times we do interact, either on our blogs, in chats or when we’re in voice calls with each other, are always good times. I really like how protective you are of younger fans, and I feel really lucky that we have someone like you in this fandom (even if you have to spend a lot of time being exasperated and Tired). You’re a very charismatic person (even if you mainly communicate in shitposts) and I can understand why some people would feel slightly intimidated by you (truly the Yongguk of this fandom), and to be honest I was a bit intimidated by you before I first started messaging you. Some part of me still thinks you’re Too Cool For Me, but I’ve learned that really you’re just a (precious) mess who is trying to hide how soft they can be and deals with compliments by insulting people.

Seriously, if Mica is bad at dealing with affection then I don’t even know where that places you, but it’s a very charming trait (just like the rest of you ♡). I’m sorry for getting all distraught when you disappear for a day, I just worry a lot about you and really care for you, even though I don’t say it a lot. So anyway, thanks for being such a lovely person. ♡

Next person: @kirikirifallinlove

Okay, so. I don’t think words can express how much I care about you, Ely. I hope you never doubt how much I love you, even though I’m not always good at saying it in things other than heart emojis. You’re a very sweet person whom I’ve grown very close to these last few months, and I’m just really glad to have you here with me (not here here, but you know, here). 

 I’m very grateful just for the fact that I’ve been able to talk to you regularly for the last few months. I never would have started properly writing things if it weren’t for you encouraging me and coming to talk to me about headcanons. Thank you for sitting around for two hours+ and just listening to me outline an entire fic idea in the middle of the night. 

I know I spend a lot of time just asking how you feel or if you alright, and I can understand if those questions get tiresome for you, but it’s just that your wellbeing is really important to me. And if you aren’t, I want to be able to help you and talk to you. 

Talking to you always makes me feel more affectionate and protective than I normally am, for some reason, and knowing that you’re having a good day immediately cheers me up as well. 

Also, sorry for always messaging you when I’m drunk. I’ve read through some of those messages while sober and it can’t always be easy understanding what I am trying to say to you. Thank you for being such a soft ecto husband and for being here to appreciate the wonder that is YoungLo and also for always being willing to listen when I’m having a bad day, I love you ♡♡

[pirateisabela]

30 Things About Me

 Thanks @gaysparkler for tagging me <3

Nickname: Ash

Name: Ashley

Gender: Nonbinary

Star Sign: Pieces

Height: 5′7″

Time: 11:53 AM

Birthday: March 1st

Favorite Band: Andrew Jackson Jihad, The Teeth, Yabadum, Muse, and the Dead Kennedys? More than one but those are my favorites

Favorite Solo Artist: I don’t think I have a favorite solo artist so I’m just going to say Owl City and be That Guy™

Song Stuck In My Head: Got My Own Thing Now by Squirrel Nut Zippers

Last Movie I Watched: A Cure for Sickness, I think? I don’t watch movies that much

Last Show I Watched: Grey’s Anatomy (10/10 would recommend…if you like crying)

When Did I Create My Blog: The blog I had before was created in September/August last year but this one was created in April 2017

What Do I Post: Mostly Dragon Age, a little bit of Mass Effect and other fandoms. Oh, and memes and shitposting x)

Last Thing I Googled: …fun facts 

Do You Have Other Blogs: Yes? @sharon-the-dragon but I haven’t used it since June

Do You Get Asks?: Yeah, sometimes! Usually whenever I reblog a thing for people to send in questions x)

Why Did You Choose This Blog Name: Something with “dragon” in it was a priority. And it needed to be Dragon Age because I wanted to be a DA blog. I really like Aveline and she doesn’t really get enough love, so I went with her :) Plus she’s so badass

Blogs You Are Following: 553, the perfect number for all your fandom and shitposting needs

Followers: 143 and I’m grateful for each and every one :)

Favorite Colors: Purple, red, and blue

Average Hours of Sleep: 7 or 8? I have absolutely no sleep schedule so everything is just really erratic and whenever my body can punch my mind in the face enough to get some sleep

Lucky Number: 10, 15, or 27

Instruments: Ha…ha… I’d like to learn violin or piano but I can’t actually play anything

What Am I Wearing: black pants and a red shirt with the Flash symbol on it

How Many Blankets I Sleep With: One or two

Dream Job: An author. And maybe working with like a tv show or something as a writer

Dream Trip: I just want to travel everywhere and experience everything

Favorite Food: Pretty much anything with pasta and either chicken or fish in it

Nationality: American

Favorite Song Now: Cosmos by Yabadum

I'm tagging

@commvnderdamerons , @therenaissanceassassin , @gaydragonwizards , @gromlyn , (if you guys want to) and anyone else who’d like to do it :)

[reticexce]

 yoooooOOOOOOO you all have no idea how grateful i am to reach this milestone. this blog was a reboot of alison, and i was really worried that i wouldn’t be able to play her like before since i was basically starting from scratch again, but i’m really glad to see that she ( and the boys!! ) have been accepted and loved, and i’m so happy i’ve gotten the chance to create meaningful relationships both ic and ooc! 

i’ve never actually done a bias list before despite how many years i’ve been rping on tumblr, but i think it’s about time i make one since i think this blog is one of my best experiences in terms of shipping, friendships, and threading and i really should just make a shoutout to some very special people and say thank you to everyone for sticking with this blog and helping me flesh out my muses!

( MY PINGU CHILDREN )

mostly an inside joke formed in a skype chat ( tbt nerdie wormies lmaoo ) , but there’s a reason why they’re my pingu children and i’m pingu mum!

@kingofevcrything: hoooly shit can you believe we’ve known each other for like four years? practically four years?? since my first year having alison, emile and cedric?? and i’m pretty sure you had a part in me adding nate to the blog too, seeing as how his only ship is your muse lmao. i really can’t say enough about you because i think you’re just so special to me, and i hold you so near and dear to my heart. i can’t express how thrilled and grateful i am to have you still be my friend after all these years. i’ve had rp partners leave and it’s always heartbreaking especially when memorable relationships have been formed. but our friendship has passed the test of time, and i hope, hope, hope with all my might that we’ll stay friends for many more years to come, even if one of us decides to stop rping. i really can’t express how important our friendship is to me, like you really have no idea. my soul weeps for our muses and our threads. i just love you lots and i always wish for good things to happen to you, and i am so glad to be your mum. i am so thankful for our friendship, and i still really can’t believe we have so many fucking aus like holy shit wtf <33

@halsionic: my bby pingu child <3 we also have a shit ton of aus lmao and i also treasure those even if we’ve only touched on them in chat and never in thread. i also can’t express how thankful i am to have met you. pure chance had us meet, and i’m just so happy that you reached out to me. i can’t imagine us still being strangers on the dash, our muses so foreign to each other. like, alien literally coNSUMES both of us now, and it’s just so taboo to imagine otherwise. i love you to bits, especially since you’ve always been so supportive to me no matter what i’m going through. i can always count on you to help me through hard times, even if it’s just a short conversation about what’s bothering me. but i appreciate everything you’ve done for me as a listening ear. and not to mention those shitposts you send to me every day too---our friendship wouldn’t be complete without good ole shitposting and sIN. smooches from pingu mum to pingu child!! i look forward to screaming about our feelings to each other in the future!

( MY SOARING EAGLES )

those whom i also consider dear friends on this site ooc ( but we don’t have a pingu family thing going on haha )

@gloryundimmed: aaaaAAAAAA G R A Y oh my god you’re gonna laugh at me but i was really scared of interacting with you at first. like, i was so happy you liked my starter call?? because that made it super easy for us to interact?? i was really worried that we’d end up being those blogs that follow each other but never interact buT NO WAY WE TOTALLY INTERACT NOW!! and i have so much fun rping with you holy shit i really do. i get real excited whenever you reply or answer my asks ( no matter how long it’s been; you can always take your time! ) because i just adore kai and alison like---i didn’t think their ship would be so wholesome but it totally is. and i love it. i also never thought we’d be such good friends, especially since we haven’t known each other for very long, but i’m super, duper, happy that we are. like our conversations are always so interesting and non stressful, and i’m just really happy that i’ve gotten the opportunity to befriend you and thread with you! also, i think your editing and themes are hella rad. also!! i’m really looking forward to more aus with you in the future if you’re up for it, and also ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) if you’re up for it too with kai and ali ( yes i totally used this as an excuse to put in a lenny face but i also meant what i said lmaoo broADEN MY WRITING HORIZONS ). anyway!! i’m glad to have you as a friend, i love your writing, and i would totally be down for interactions with your others muses too because i think they’re also great! 

@wintercursed​: i absolutely adore alison and hiro’s dynamic, and i guess in a way you could say it’s sort of our dynamic too. not exactly, not perfectly, but i suppose a little piece of ourselves could be seen in our muses. ahh, i wish i could shower you in all the memes and threads you’ve ever wanted, but alas, i’m too distracted and my muses are too fickle for such a thing. but i really do love talking about our muses together and just having fun like that; the brotp between alison and hiro is one of my favorites tbh. i also!! am really flattered you see me as a friend. i’m so glad i get to call you one of mine! i get so happy whenever things go well for you, and i hope things will keep going well for you!! we may have lost touch in the last few months ( year? has it been a year? i hope not ), but i still admire you and your muse as much as i did before. fun fact: i actually followed you even before this blog! but that was before i really got a chance to interact and talk with you haha. anywho, i hope the best for you, and let’s stay in touch! <3

@travaileur / @dulcetxdreams: ro!!! ro, ro, ro, ro!!!! man i can’t even put my finger down on how we met. i guess it started on aito’s blog with the chatzys and then it moved to here when ali and eden were struggling to figure out their feelings? and you were one of their fans haha. that was a very eventful time. and now, look at where our bbies are now! claire and alison have developed their own friendship, and it is literally goals. alison is just so good to claire, and i cry it’s just so cute. our interactions have been limited with both of us being busy bees, and that’s okay! i look forward to seeing ali and claire together no matter what, and i’d love to keep talking about them more whenever you’re free! also, i always appreciate those cat pictures your send me or those bird photos you tag me in. bless, bless, those always make my day. anywho, you’re a sweetie pie and i lov u lots and i’m so happy i got the chance to meet you and have my muse have such a cute friendship with your muse. i can’t wait to see how that will develop!

@textsfromeponinet / @evangrantconrad / @whocaresaboutlonelysouls: i’m fairly certain you followed me from blog to blog! from my old alison blog to this one, i’m so glad that you decided to stick around even through the big switch. i’ve had lots of fun playing all of my muses with you, from your eponine blog and beyond! you helped me flesh out cedric in a way too, giving rise to his pretentious character now thanks to our beauty and the beast au haha. i really have to thank you for that! and now, with emile, we have such a sweet ship, and i’m looking forward to all of the cuteness that awaits! you’re such a good friend to me too, even though i stink at replying to ims, so i’m really thankful you haven’t been deterred from chatting with me. you’ve also given me such nice advice over the years, and i’m very, very thankful for your college advice <3 i hope we can remain friends and have more threads!

@ivorybled / @hyoukan: i think about how we met sometimes and like---it’s such a unique way of meeting?? like our muses both lil shits and therefore would attract each other because they would love doing shitty things together, and that blossomed into one of my favorite brotps. lanzo and aito will always be my shit because they’re just hilarious to me, and add in eden and it’s even more of a mess. but this isn’t a bias list for aito’s blog so i’ll save that fangirling for another time, but !!! i love?? your writing?? so much??? it’s a very unique style and oh my god it’s like fking poetry and i can just indulge in your writing like it’s just so good. and speaking of what’s good, you’re good!!! we haven’t talked much recently, but i’m so flattered to be one of your fave boofs bc you’re one of mine too!!! technically you’re a bird now but that’s even better because you love birds!! i always have such a fun time talking with you on ims even if it’s just a short chat, whether it’s lanzo/aito, lanzo/alison, or eru/alison because the ideas are literally limitless with you. and it’s such a blast to yell at each other about our muses and their relationship; i can feel your passion and that’s just really great okay. i hope we can keep yelling at each other and keep in touch even if we’re both busy bees, and i’m really glad we became friends <3

( MY PRETTY CANARIES )

those whom i’ve interacted with a few times ( whether recently or a long, long time ago ) and would love to stay in touch, get back in touch, get to know better! these people are also those who i see on the dash every day and sort of consider them my friends because of how long you’ve stuck with me, even i we haven’t said much to each other! but i see you liking and reblogging my stuff! hello to you too! 

@cfdualities / @mostpeculiarmademoiselleetmsieur / @chichini / @silent-severity / @shiracpt / @lvmier / @vernxte / @noxuous / @gumihosverdict / @langvor / @tommy-is-the-rudest-bitch / @fornaxa / @manipulationandmemes / @princely-etiquette / @smolhoney / @shite-prosecutor / @amxrtentiia / @overoutrage / @forgottenelysium / @auccntraire / @smolbabysittingangel / @pushingthewinter / @omnecosmos / @neverforgiiven / @psuedogaiety / @likecottxncandy / @lachalaine / @nanpoghan / @bastardiised / @oshunokaminari / @dont-wake-sana / @enthrxlling / @faillte / @haperx / @we-all-burn / @togovernwithdecorum / @chvssbelle / @ffortunato / @minugahanax​ / @risiox / @solepaura

( MY SWEET PARAKEETS )

those whom i haven’t gotten a chance to really interact with yet ( due to busy schedules, lack of a good opportunity, being a new follower, or just me being too shy ) but admire greatly and would love a chance to write with! we may have had a handful of short interactions before, or maybe none at all, but in either case, i’d love to have more!

@stckhlmr / @godstarved / @condicionibus / @hippestbarista / @mulni / @weismanniisms / @contrasting-blood-brothers / @phlegmxtical / @charmingrebel / @cantiio / @fierydog / @perhiemate / @bathed-in-red / @parcelhoarder / @poppicede / @wondcrkid / @bloodyrogues / @cruthaich / @nightmcnsters / @bokctto / @destinsia / @elfen-archer / @pvrehearted / @corvialitis / @sakashiima / @starvd / @itaidoshin / @praeliix / @rosideae / @xnquisitor / @mahounx / @clemenstine / @siderion / @tenxcious / @drugrattes / @prideful-outcasts / @withoutviolence / @preciousyellowidiot / @atelouus / @flowersvein / @merakiis / @bcbybats / @ignirae / @popokki / @lingering-mind / @bitchidivine / @cxriseanglo / @torschlusspcnik / @chirisaku / @eraseourscars / @tillsoil / @bittersilvertruth / @hellhcunded / @hasetsui​

keep in mind none of the names are in any particular order! and ahh and i know i must have forgotten some people because there were just so many blogs to look through, but even if you aren’t on this list, you’re a great writer, very special, and have lots of potential! and i love you and think you’re great! and to those who are on this list, i know i must have sounded really roundabout and probably said the same things over and over again, but really, you guys make coming onto tumblr really fun, and you all are really special people to me. i really appreciate you all for sticking with me after all this time ( and even following me from blog to blog! ) and i just can’t say how much i appreciate your support <333 

also i sort of did have trouble determining if some people were canaries or parakeets but whichever one you are, feel free to hmu for interactions but i love new partners and new ideas and just meeting new people so please reach out if you’d like to! (〃＾▽＾〃)

ps do u guys like the little birbs i added to my promo bc i really do.