#this is how many worms would fill up a you-sized container

[bones4thecats]

I see you have your requests open! :D

May I please request Loki, Shiva, Thor and Beelzebub from SNV with a S/O who's like Hastur/The King In Yellow from Lovecraftian mythos?

(They walk around in a tattered yellow cloak and a crown, maybe have more than 2 eyes?) Humans are terrified of them and are even scared to mention their name. How would they react to seeing their S/o in their cosmic horror/non-humanoid for for the first time?

(Sorry if it's a little long... Have a great day! 🥰)

A/N: This has to be one of my favorite requests ever! I love H.P. Lovecraft and other mythical writers, and Hastur has to be one of my favorite creations in these stories! Now, before I start rambling again, enjoy!!

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Known as the God of Shepherds, you were feared by many, so feared that the mention of your name scared others to their core. 

You were set in a battle against a human known as William Marshal, the Most Loyal Knight in History. 

Your yellow cloak hung to your form as the man pulled out his sword and began his attack while Humanity and the Gods’ roars echoed throughout the arena.

The Gods had put up a barrier protecting the people inside, knowing if you got too mad, the ring would get destroyed very quickly. 

William was getting on your nerves as he sliced off six of your tentacles.

Ragged breathing filled the ears of everyone in the arena as you grew in size, your frame becoming unrecognizable as you began to fight with all the being you contained.

Everyone was shocked, but your husband was the most shocked…

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🐍 Loki watched as you grew in size and his eyes widened, you had never gotten this mad while in battle

🐍 He yelled in anger as one of William’s sword’s hit your appendages, cheering as your threw him to the opposite side of the arena

🐍 The sound of colliding weapons echoed as the Valkyrie transformed into a sword and shield, protecting the former knight

🐍 But it was no match for your strength

“ You humans are pathetic, when you want something you get arrogant and expect more, yet when you don’t get it, you get mad and petty like nothing. “ “ You know nothing of Humanity… monster. “ “ Good riddance, worm. “

🐍 Loki was so proud as you slayed the human for his disrespect of his creators

🐍 Now he had to wait for his round and you to join him, or maybe he’d visit you? Who know~

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🪩 Shiva watched with his wives, son, and pantheon as you grew in size and became your true form

🪩 He smirked as William’s valkyrie stepped back and became a sword and shield

“ Idiot humans. They think they can defeat Y/N. “

🪩 You glared at the human as he fought you, trying to hit you with any chance he could take, honestly it was quite pathetic

🪩 Though even Shiva had to admit, the human was quite smart with his hits

🪩 But his brain was no match for your anger

🪩 You grabbed him with a rogue tentacle and threw him against the wall before chocking out his valkyrie and snapping his neck

🪩 Shiva laughed as Humanity cried, they really believed that human had a chance against you? The Hindu God of Shepherds? The one everyone feared so much as to not mumble their name?

🪩 After you were dragged to the infirmary, he visited with his wives and son

🪩 They checked your pale face and dark eyes and scolded you for letting your emotions get out of hand, in which Ganesha hugged you, asking how you were

🪩 Shiva just stood off to the side and waited for them all to leave, and when they did, he gave you the biggest hug and happiest smile you’d ever seen him give anyone

“ Good job, my dearest. “

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🌩️ You and him were not ones to anger, as it lead to major destruction

🌩️ And anyone could tell this was one of the rare moments of your anger taking over

🌩️ Thor stood up and watched as the human’s valkyrie protected him, giving the most bloodthirsty smirk as the duo talked about how they would destroy you

🌩️ How pathetically arrogant

🌩️ You mopped the floor with them with so little energy

“ Remind me to never prank them anytime soon. “

🌩️ Odin looked at Loki and back at Thor, he could tell his son was admiring his S/O’s battle with so much love and dedication

🌩️ Now everyone knew why you guys got married

🌩️ You had the same amount of bloodthirstiness inside, hidden behind a dead and cold appearing front

🌩️ Once the battle ended, Thor met you at the entrance, assisting you to the infirmary, and when you were all healed, he hugged you from behind while resting

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🪰 Beelzebub was getting bored of watching these battles, but seeing you walk onto the field made him perk up

🪰 He knew you were getting mad with the human’s attacks with the support of his valkyrie, but he didn’t know you were that mad

🪰 You stood tall and launched the biggest and most dangerous assault that you ever had before

🪰 Your husband watched with interest as you kept throwing and harming the human with bloodlust driving through your head

🪰 He was monitoring how plagued your mind was getting, and when he saw the human nearly dead, he messaged Zeus, telling him to wrap this up, saying you were about to the level of genocidal rage

🪰 Beelzebub watched you get dragged away while William shattered away, his smirk ever present as he looked over your sitting form

🪰 Your pale face still had some blood from the human, so he wiped it away and patted your head

“ My wilted rose, my heart fluttered as you fought. “

[autisticsupervillain]

It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

Corvus vs The Warden!

Conditions:

No restrictions.

Scenario:

Corvus travels down into the Deep Dark, suspecting its mutations to be a new variation of the Vile Blood plague, and gets attacked by the Warden.

Analysis: Corvus

The beautiful, prosperous kingdom of Hermes was the largest and most powerful in all the land. So advanced was its knowledge of science and medicine that it was among the last of the lands to fall to the supernatural plague that had swept the world. Yet fall it still did. Humanity seemed to be on the verge of extinction, with this shining bastion of power simply representing its last candle.

Until the brilliant scientist Emerald, inventor of the art of alchemy, brought forth her greatest discovery. Vile Blood, as the blood of the infected was named, could be used to sythesize a cure, dubbed Pure Blood. The world had seemingly been saved and alchemy advanced as a science at a completely unprecedented rate in order to completely contain and eliminate the Vile Blood disease. But that proved to be the Great Mistake that would doom mankind forever.

When mixed with Pure Blood, Vile Blood would begin to adapt and mutate. Even completely incinerating corpses would no longer kill the pathogen within, and it would soon demonstrate the ability to completely overtake the mind. The soldiers of Hermes, still sentient even in their mutated state, would turn against the crown, butchering and infecting all they could find. Even infected blood, on its own, could come to life and pull itself back together into a humanoid form to keep spreading the plague. Put up against a newfound regenerative ability on that scale, Hermes quickly fell dowm to its last legs again.

Before she would completely give in to despair and abandon mankind, Emerald would make one final breakthrough. She noticed that no matter how much the Vile Blood mutated, it could not infect certain animals. Crows in particular seemed completely immune. In one last attempt to save mankind, Emerald would attempt to combine humans and animals together to create a subspecies that would be completely immune to the Vile Blood pandemic. She had exactly one success, a half-crow, half-human. The last hope of Hermes: Corvus.

As the strongest warrior in the land of Hermes, Corvus was tasked by the last survivors of the royal family to wipe out the Vile Blood plague. In his quest to discover a cure and defend the last vestiges of civilization, Corvus would end up slaughtering a good chunk of the kingdom he was made to save. A remarkable feat when considering that the infected still retain all the skills and sentience they had in life, to the point that many can be heard sobbing over their hellish situation. He's defeated the Fool's God, a giant stone statue filled to the brim with thousands of Vile Blood infested corpses, and even killed it in one hit, fought his way through entire cities of infected soldiers, and even bested the greatest warriors Hermes has to offer. When Varg, the greatest warrior Thymesia had ever seen, and Urg, the royal family's personal assassin and one of the last standing members of the royal family itself, attempted a coup, Corvus was able to fight and defeat them both. He even bested the Sound of the Abyss, a colossal infected worm whose burrowing underground shook the entirety of the Royal Library. As the Library is absolutely massive, easily the size of an entire city block by itself, that burrowing would be creating at least a Magnitude 4.5 earthquake to shake it. To generate that much distructive energy, you'd need up to 84 tons of TNT.

Source:

Corvus is fast enough to dodge arrows, is a master swordsman, can rip through people with his talon claws, and, with easily his most dangerous ability, can drain your life force with Plague Weapons. Designed to bypass the remarkable regenerative ability of the infected, Plague Weapons are glowing green mystical weapons that Corvus creates by copying his opponents weaponry. He can create hammers, swords, bows, javelins, and even shields. He can even copy parts of his foe's biology, imitating the writhing tendrils coming out of Mutated Odur's back and fighting with his own. This does, however, require that he get his hands on you with his claws to copy your weaponry.

Even so, you'll be hard pressed to put Corvus down before he can. He can survive getting stabbed straight through the chest and simply just get right back up. His regenerative ability is absurd and he's completely immune to the Vile Blood plague on top of that, to the point of wading through thigh high oceans of Vile Blood without getting infected. When an infected Vard stabbed him through the chest and completely shattered his spine, the worst Corvus got was amnesia out of it.

Ultimately, Corvus would prove to be Emerald's greatest creation, outright surpassing his creator in the realm of alchemy, creating a concoction that would destroy Vile Blood forever. Through the shattered land of Hermes would immediately descend into chaos and war as the survivors fought amongst themselves to rebuil civilization, Corvus has ensured the species will live to see another day. The people of Hermes felt something they hadn't in generations that day. Hope.

Analysis: The Warden

The vast, endless world of Minecraft has always felt... empty. Despite being randomly generated, it has always given the vibe of having been lived in. Abandoned. Forgotten. What ancient civilizations uses to live here before the villagers arrived? Who were the zombies before they turned? And who are we, the Player, really? Minecraft doesn't answer, it simply provides more questions. Perhaps the most alarming and nightmarish of which centers around the Deepest and Darkest part of Minecraft's world.

What are the Ancient Cities buried beneath the world? And what is the Warden that guards them?

This monsterous mob that stalks the Deep Dark is the most powerful monster that Steve, Dream, and all your other favorite Minecraft adventurers could ever hope to encounter. Described by the Devs themselves as "not a boss, but a natural disaster", the Player was not even intended to fight the Warden, let alone defeat it, with the souls of countless other adventurers wriggling inside of it immortalizing those who tried. It is strong enough to dig through netherite blocks effortlessly and can break straight through the Player's shield in a single blow.

This is despite the fact that the Player's shield is strong enough to tank attacks from the Wither, such as the massive explosion it creates upon birth, which is powerful enough to vaporize several basalt blocks at once. To generate a blast that powerful, you'd need at least 38 tons of TNT, enough to destroy an entire city block!

Source:

And if being able to rip straight through Steve's armor and shields wasn't deadly enough, the Warden can ignore them entirely of it so chooses. It's screaming is loud enough to generate sonic booms, the vibrations of which go through Steve's armor completely and its fast enough to simply run Steve down no matter how fast he flees. This is the same Steve who can keep up with Endermen in combat, who are fast emough to react to and dodge arrows at point blank range. Arrows which on average can move up to 100 meters per second. And Steve can't outrun this thing even with a swiftness potion.

The Player's best option is to simply never get caught by the beast in the first place. Which is easier said than done. While the Warden may be blind, so long as it's around, so are you, as it's Darkness status effect blinds everyone around it in a ten meter radius. And unlike the Warden, you don't have the superhuman hearing to sense the slightest vibrations, nor the smell to pick up on its prey.

A Player's only saving grace is that the Warden is a literally blind animal. As soon as it detects its prey, it charges them down in a rage to rip them to pieces, only strategizing by screaming from a distance or using its honed senses to hunt. It's not a fighter. It's barely even an animal. It's a raging natural disaster.

We may never know what happened to the ancient cities it guards. Perhaps the Warden is their equivalent to a golem, the last remnant of its ancient race. Or perhaps, the Warden is the thing that wiped them out.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

The Warden is a very different beast to the kind that Corvus usually hunts.

While Corvus's extensive skill would be a handful for virtually any beast, the blindness effect of the Warden's presence would mitigate that. When combined with the Warden's loud, disorienting shrieks and definitive spped advantage and Corvus is going to get the tar kicked out of him. After all, Corvus might be able to dodge arrows, but the Warden can outrun people who can do the same.

However, Corvus's strength advantage would allow him to weather the hits. The Warden may be immensely stronger than the Wither, who can generate 38 tons of TNT, but Corvus regularly slays beasts in the 84 tons range, giving him a notable strength advantage that no one else in Minecraft has had over the Warden. This combines with Corvus's own impressive regeneration to allow him to wheather the storm of the Warden's relentless onslaughts and give him a chance to adapt before getting crushed.

There are plenty of outcomes where the Warden catches Corvus off guard enough to pummel him to death before he can recuperate. But seeing the brutal beatdowns Corvus has bounced back from in his own series, I see him recovering enough to land a hit with his trump card. Plague Weapons.

There are no weapons that can simply suck the life force from someone in Minecraft the way Corvus's plague weapons do. As such, The Warden would have no resistance against them and its beastial intellect would have no answer for the variety of forms these weapons can manifest as. If the Warden was capable of strategizing, it might be able to turn the tables back around. But that's not how it fights.

In a fight, The Warden keeps relentlessly attacking until you're dead or it is. It has never run away, never relented. And against a stronger, more skilled opponent that can harm it in a way no one else can, this relentlessness is it's downfall. The Warden would catch Corvus off guard at first, but uf it doesn't end the fight quickly, it wouldn't managed anything more than that.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Corvus!

[thebeardedladyofthelake]

Interesting thought, and I really appreciate where you're going here, but I'm going to have to disagree.

If it were a swarm of flying insects constantly moving like a cloud to fill out the shape, I would say 15 lbs seems plausible, however, it is pretty clear that his critters are densely packed.

And a great deal of these bugs are on the larger side.

The 3 milligram weight per bug would put the bugs at about the size of a small ant, and if that were the case, 10,000 would be nowhere near enough to fill that much space.

Adult anteaters eat up to 30,000 ants PER DAY. 10,000 bugs of that size would constitute a third of the daily intake of a 60-100 lb mammal.

So. Let's think a little bigger. The average weight of a cockroach, for comparison, is 0.105 g, which still only results in a weight of 2.315 lbs at a quantity of 10,000. While 10,000 roaches might seem like more than enough, the number does not hold up under more direct scrutiny.

Here is what 10,000 roaches of the 0.105 g size actually looks like. (Link is a short video)

Yeah. Think about how many of those 2.3 lb containers full of roaches one would need to fill up a 7 foot tall sack. That small amount of weight per unit would really start to add up.

In most cases 10,000 insects would not be remotely sufficient using real world measurements. Obviously, since The Nightmare Before Christmas is a stop motion film, the animators wouldn't be able to physically make the literal million+ bugs that would be in there, so many of the bugs we see are much larger than the bugs we encounter in our day to day life. So let's think significantly bigger.

Atlas beetles average out at around 3.5 oz. Meaning a quantity of 10,000 of these guys

would clock in somewhere in the ballpark of 2,187.5 lbs.

Now, I'm not suggesting that Oogie Boogie would be quite that heavy, as most bugs are not built as sturdily as a rhinoceros beetle.

Additionally, we must make into account the fact that all of these examples I have provided are of adult insects. Oogie's mass also appears to contain immature stages of development, which can vary considerably from the size and shape of the adult organism (Grubs and caterpillars can get pretty chunky; they have to get nice and plump in order to have the energy to pupate. Meanwhile many nymphs are small and slender.)

And while we're at it, it's important to point out that insects aren't the only kind of creepy crawly he has. We clearly see worms, arachnids, and at least one snake. I'm not going to try to sort out and average all these variables, but I think it's safe to say he has a pretty substantial heft to him.

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say 600-1,500 lbs.

...

You know who would weigh practically nothing? Jack Skellington. Now I hear what you're saying "well duh. He's a skeleton. Of course he wouldn't weigh much" but I think even then a lot of people overestimate the weight of bones. The average weight of a human skeleton is a little under 20 lbs. Now Jack may be tall, but he's also very slim in frame so I'd say this would be a pretty good baseline for him. In fact, Sally, despite being stuffed with leaves and what have you, could feasibly be heavier than him. Skin is, after all, the body's heaviest individual organ, accounting for around 7% of body weight with adults generally having between 7.5-22 lbs of it.

So yeah. An average human being would likely be able to lift the Pumpkin King without much struggle. The Boogeyman? Probably not!

Oogie Boogie may be massive,but he would probably be light as hell. I mean, he's a bunch of bugs (primarily, there's at least on snake in there so there's also probably a lot of other creepy crawly creatures) in huge ass fucking burlap sack. On average, bugs only way like 3 milligrams, or 0.000007 pounds. Even if though there's probably 10,000 bugs in there, at least, based on that average that'd only be 0.07 pounds (not including the weight of the burlap).

Bro would weigh probably like 15 pounds 😭

Aside from, again, being massive, he would be so fucking easy to pick up lolllll

[worm-on-a-blog]

How many worms on strings must it take to fill a trench coat so they are able to buy a movie ticket?

spectacular question.

first we need to know the average volume of a standard worm. keeping in mind that a worm is generally less than a gram in weight, that volume could be really small if you sincerely compressed it—so for these measurements, we are assuming that none of our worms in the trench coat are compressed. we're not packing them in there like straw, they're all standing on each other's heads to puppet the trench coat.

assuming this, then, i divided up a single worm into eight segments that could each be approximated to be about the shape of a uniform cylinder, calculated the volume of each of those cylinders, and then added the total volume up. in all, our uncompressed worm came out to about 38.27 cm^3. diagram below:

(a string was used to take the circumference at the midpoint of each segment, and these were then used to calculate the diameter of each segment for the volume calculation.)

okay. we're going to say that the worms are occupying your average adult male-fit trench coat. they would be looking to fill about 80kg worth of space there, 80,000 cm^3. (1 kg = 1,000 cm^3 at human body density). but we need to subtract the legs, because they are most certainly going to have the trench coat drag on the ground. so:

one total leg would come out to about 13.488 kg of your body. double that, and we are subtracting 26.976 kg from our estimated weight. they also would not fill out the hands, so we're taking off a tiny bit more in the form of 1.04 kg. we're leaving the head in the calculation, because i presume they will be filling out an inconspicuous hat too.

put together, this gives us a volume of about 51,984 cm^3, or a final answer of 1,358.35 worms to fill a trench coat!

this also means that you're able to calculate how many worms you are total so long as you know how many kg you are. take your weight in kg, convert it to cm^3 by multiplying it by 1,000, and then divide that number by 38.27. all together, i am approximately 1,306.50 worms large.

[bothcreativitybois]

Intruality Week 2021

Intruality week is here!! Finally time to celebrate my boys and for me to take the spot of no.1 intruality blog

Day 1: Ugly Sweaters

@intrualityweek2021 @intruality-overlord

TWs: Swearing, little bit of sad Patton (hehehe), meantion of drugs, Remus doing Remus things

General Taglist: (ask if you want to be added <3) @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper 

Patton spun around in the mirror. The new jumper he’d just knitted swirled around him due to its large size, he thought about how many other Pattons he could fit in it. He pouted in the mirror.

“I want more Pattons.” He whined to himself. Then an idea struck, he already had more Pattons! He quickly ran out of his room and to the shared lounge room. Roman sat on the ground with papers and pencils scattered around him. In his excitement Patton trod through the papers, kicking things wildly. “Romeo!” Patton shouted excitedly. Roman was pulled out of his creative bubble when Patton popped it.

“My babies!” Roman shrieked. He frantically gathered up the displaced items. Patton was unfazed.

“I had a great idea!” Patton said. Roman sat back with the papers in hand.

“So did I!” Roman said. “Then a big bumbling baby broke my focus.” Patton looked down to see where he was standing. He quickly jumped out of the way.

“Oh sorry, Ro.” Patton said as Roman began gathering up his stuff. “Notice something different?” Patton put out his arms and span, hoping Roman would notice the new jumper. Roman looked up for one second before going back to work.

“You mean the cotton candy disaster spread around you?” Roman mocked, Patton looked down at the blue and pink wool he’d used.

“Well… I uh…” Patton attempted. “I thought it was cute?”

“You look like you fell in a worm’s gender reveal party.” Roman said as he stood with his supplies. Patton pulled at some of the loose threads self consciously. “The heart is cute though.” Roman poked the white shape on Patton’s back before sinking out.

“It’s a paw print…” Patton mumbled dejectedly. Patton didn’t let the insults get him, it was his fault for disturbing Roman’s work. He shook it off and set off to find another side. 

Conveniently Logan walked down the stairs at that moment holding an empty mug. Patton beamed.

“Greetings Patton.” Logan said tiredly walking past. Patton rushed to his side.

“Logie, I had a great idea!” Patton announced excitedly as Logan pushed him away. “I have this cute new sweater and I-”

“I just came out to get coffee.” Logan said entering the kitchen. He grabbed the coffee pot which still was half full and began pouring it into his cup. There was no way it was still warm.

“Okay but this will only take a second.” Patton reasoned. Logan put the coffee pot back.

“I don’t have a second, I need to work.” Logan stepped out of the kitchen. Patton watched him go.

“Do you like the sweater at least?” Patton asked quietly. Logan looked over from taking a sip of coffee.

“The construction is a bit sloppy.” Logan said back and left. Patton sighed. Again, he tried to let it roll off. Logan was always busy, he had important things to do. Patton sat on the ground against the wall. He couldn’t even be bothered asking Virgil. Even if he listened to him unlike the others, there was no way he’d want to do what Patton planned. Patton picked at the loose threads again. He closed his eyes as they began to sting with salty tears. Maybe if he did a better job everyone would notice? Maybe they’d want to spend time with him too. Maybe he just wasn’t good enough. Patton noticed a plant across the room move. He rubbed his eyes and looked again and it continued to twitch.

“Are you my leafy godmother?” Patton asked.

“Heh?” A brash nasally voice came from the plant. Patton slowly stood and saw Remus squatting shirtless next to the plant. He walked closer. Remus’ hands already had a thick layer of dirt.

“What are you doing?” Patton asked hesitantly. Asking Remus what he was doing always guaranteed an interesting answer. Remus stood to meet Patton.

“Ah I found this teddy bear and was thinking, what if I filled it with dirt? But all the dirt in my dirt container was gone an-” Remus cut himself off and dropped the dirt. He grabbed Patton’s face. Patton scrunched up his face.

“Hi?” Patton was confused. None of his friends were really touchy people, much to his dismay because Patton loved it.

“What drugs were you doing?” Remus asked. Patton grabbed Remus hands and pulled his face away.

“None!”

“Your eyes are red?” Remus pointed out grabbing Patton’s face again. “Did you try to bleach them so they’d look cool but they burned a lot so you put toothpaste on them because it always feels cold but that only made the toothpaste bubble and hurt your eyes more?” Patton was confused.

“No? Did you?” Patton asked. Remus let go of Patton and shrugged.

“Why are your eyes red then?” Reemus pressed again. Patton looked away. “Were you crying?” Patton reeled for a moment. He didn’t know Remus could be… like that.

“Uh… a little.” Patton shifted awkwardly. He never really talked about his bad emotions, he didn’t want anyone to feel bad.

“Did you see Roman’s face and realise how ugly he was?” Remus asked. Patton chuckled a little but immediately felt bad. Remus smiled widely.

“I just...” Patton began. He wasn’t sure if he could continue but Remus was just looking at him so he did. “I just had a fun idea and… no one wanted to listen…”

“Oooh what was it?” Remus asked immediately. Patton was shocked again.

“You want to know? You aren’t too busy?” Pattons eyes lit up. His chest swelled. Remus wiped off his hands.

“Princess Dirty Slut can wait.” Remus said. “Besides, apart from yours truly, you have the best ideas of the group. And the best fashion.” Patton smiled proudly. He couldn’t stop himself from talking.

“I made this really cute new sweater and it’s so big it swirls like a dress when I spin and it got me thinking how many mes I could fit in it so I wanted to get one of you guys to try and climb in it to see.” Patton explained in one breath. Remus lit up just watching Patton explain. Without saying anything Remus hurdled over the couch and grabbed Patton’s jumper.

“Don’t move.” Remus said as he crouched. Patton blushed as Remus crawled into the jumper, he had never had anyone this close to him. He felt a nip at his side. Did Remus just bite him? Remus slid around in the jumper until his arms were in the sleeves with Patton’s and grabbed Patton’s hands. A second later Remus’ head popped out of the top, his face basically pressed against Patton’s. “Hey there cutie.” Patton’s heart skipped a beat, he could feel his face flushing red. They both stood there, arms outstretched and pressed against each other. It didn’t phase Remus but for Patton it was almost overwhelming.

“Uh… how do we get out?” Patton asked as he looked away. Remus smiled crookedly.

“I guess we don’t. You’re mine now.” Remus teased. Patton felt himself blush more. None of the other sides made him feel like this. He worried if Remus could tell what he was thinking.

“Hey Remus?” Patton said as he lowered their arms. “Do you ever do this sort of stuff with Janus?”

“Oh fuck no, Janny hates ideas like this. He’s not a touchy kind of snake.” Remus explained. Patton felt his legs start to get stiff, he wiggled a little. Remus chuckled.

“Sorry.” Patton said instinctively.

“Don’t be.” Remus said with a hungry smile. “You’re adorable.”  Remus put a quick and wet kiss on Patton’s nose. Patton shut down for a second. He felt his legs give out which caused the two men to fall. Remus flailed awkwardly trying to catch them before falling heavily on top of Patton. Patton could barely breathe but it felt… nice.

“I uh…” Patton stammered. Remus laughed.

“If you wanted more you could’ve just asked.” Remus teased.

“I want out.” Patton mumbled and began squirming. Remus pulled himself up into a kneel and Patton slid out of the jumper and retreated a few feet away. He muttered something about leaving and began heading for the stairs. Remus stared.

“What about your sweater?” Remus grabbed the bottom and began pulling it off. Patton quickly put up his hands and blocked his face.

“No no… uh keep it.” Patton stammered. “Bye.” Patton quickly ran up to his room. Remus sat there in the middle of the lounge room, alone.

“What?”

[aipilosse]

I don't know if you're still doing the ask prompts, but I saw you'd already filled the one I'd put for Mae Squared before so I thought I'd pick a different one so you didn't have to do the same one twice. I was thinking maybe 15? But only if you're still doing them/want to! Thanks for all the lovley writing you give to the fandom!

Yes I am! My first attempt at Maedhros/Sauron AKA Mae Squared, and the prompt ‘Out of your element’ from this prompt list. Rated Teen or so for, ya know, Angband.

There were so many different layers of misery in Angband. 

There was the misery of torture of course, of having the flesh torn from his back with spiked whips until he passed out from blood loss, only to have the whips brought out again when he was half healed. There was the horrible pain of glowing metal set to his flesh until he thought his bones must be singed, all the while his tormenters asked for answers he did not know and had never known. There was the misery of constant humiliation, sometimes as a method of torment, but also the just the daily degradation as he was denied clothes and the filth on his body built up, until he felt lower than a worm. 

He also learned that misery could be delivered just as well through neglect. At first, he thought he could bear hunger, but as the years passed and he saw his body waste before his eyes, the gnawing pain in his gut became harder and harder to bear. The pain of thirst moved faster; he soon learned that even if he had been allowed a cup of bitter, oily water, in just a few hours Maitimo’s throat would be burning. He would wait for days with his awful thirst in whatever position he had been chained in, the ache in his joints and the cramps in his muscles growing into agony.

Misery sank into his bones, until it seemed to encompass his past, his present, and his future. When they came to unchain him from the horrible crouch he had been kept in for several days, Maitimo felt a brief moment of relief despite the more logical part of his mind that told him he was being released only for further pain. The four orcs sent to escort him had to drag him; his legs refused to move after being locked in place for so long.

When the walls changed from the rough texture of the caves he was usually moved between to smooth dark stone, Maitimo felt his dread grow. The only time he was taken this far above ground was when he was taken to Morgoth, and that was the worst misery by far in Angband. The Vala’s piercing eyes and terrible burning spirit seemed able to torment his mind as much as whips tormented his body.

He wasn’t brought to the throne room. Instead, they stopped in front of a pair of iron bound double doors.

“We have a guest for Lord Mairon,” one of the orcs said.

The guard at the door peered at him suspiciously. “My lord did not tell me he was expecting any visitors.”

“Order from the Mighty One,” the orc replied.

“He’s not going to like this,” the guard warned, but rapped on the door with his spear anyway.

“What?” The flat question came from inside the room.

“Lord Melkor has sent you a visitor.”

There was a sound that seemed penetrate Maitimo’s very being; whatever was on the other side of that door wasn’t pleased. “Make it quick.”

Maitimo didn’t know what he expected as he was dragged through the door, but whatever it was, it wasn’t this. The floor was carpeted, the plush surface unbelievably soft against feet that had only felt stone for years. The room was diffused with light, the soft glow of candles magnified by crystals and colored glass. The large room seemed to be divided into different purposes — Maitimo could have sworn he saw goldsmithing tools at a workbench and another corner with glass containers filled with multi-colored liquids — before he was thrown to the ground.

“Kneel,” snarled the orc, as if it was possible for Maitimo to do anything else. He bowed to Mairon. “The Mighty One says you must interrogate him.”

“Oh really? I must interrogate him? As if I have nothing better to do with my time than question a useless prisoner? I suppose requisitions, excavations, and the logistics of arming our entire host is not enough?” Mairon’s low musical voice was at odds with the sharp sarcasm of his tone. Maitimo watched his guards shuffle awkwardly from his spot on the ground.

“Get out. And if you breathe a word of what I said, I will slowly boil you from the inside out.” The orcs beat a hasty retreat, and then they were alone. Maitimo didn’t look up; whatever horrors were in store for him would happen whatever he did.

“Well, have a seat, I’ll get to you in a moment.” That at least grabbed Maitimo’s attention. He peered up from his spot on the floor. Mairon wasn’t looking at him at all; his entire focus was on whatever he was writing. Maitimo almost gasped out loud; Mairon was stunning. Red hair, a deeper shade than any he had seen tumbled around his shoulders. The golden flame of his eyes was mesmerizing. Maitimo swallowed; he already felt horribly out of place and filthy in the rich, pristine chambers. Now he felt like a twisted creature compared to the being before him. 

But he had been asked to take a seat. Earlier, he would have fought even the smallest order in Angband, but now he knew there was no point in resisting this reasonable request. Better to save his energy for the actual questioning. Maitimo crawled to the chair, and pulled himself onto it. He winced as he sat down. His back and buttocks were still only partially healed from the last time he had been whipped, but the flinch was more so at the thought of his filthy skin touching the elegant upholstery. 

Mairon didn’t look up through the whole laborious process. He appeared to be filling in some sort of grid, carefully writing figures and occasionally tallying up the columns. Finally he looked up.

“So you are the High King of the Noldor?” He sounded bored.

“I was. I am not king of much here.” Maitimo met Mairon’s eyes, trying not to be the cringing thing he could feel himself becoming. 

“Hm, so I am to interrogate you. Are they still asking you about silima?”

“Among other things,” Maitimo said cautiously.

“I already know the size of your army, how they are armed, what they have gained, what they still lack, where you are camped, the messages that have been exchanged with the local Sindar, and who now calls himself the High King. I’m sure I know more than you at this point about the Noldor on these shores.” Mairon sighed heavily. “But I shall question you nonetheless. How did Fëanáro create the Silmarils?”

“I don’t know,” Maitimo said, reflexive terror closing around his throat and making his voice shake.

“Why did Fëanáro burn the ships?”

“To prevent anyone from fleeing, and from his half-brother from joining us.” He had agonized over letting that information slip, but it had spilled out some time ago. In the end he wasn’t sure how much it mattered. Morgoth already knew of the strife between Fëanáro and Nolofinwë; he had helped sow it. At least Maitimo had not spoken of the kinslaying.

“Anything else you wish to share?” Mairon absently flicked a contraption on his desk, setting off a tinkling cascade of chimes.

“No.”

“Well, that was a very productive conversation, a good use of time for us both.”

Maitimo felt a huff of air leave him, something like a laugh. “This is the best use of my time since I arrived.”

A corner of Mairon’s mouth rose. “I suppose it is.” He drummed his fingers against the desk. “Nelyafinwë, do you like games?”

“Yes,” said Maitimo hesitantly. 

“The only thing that’s enjoyed by folk here is base gambling. A good wager can be entertaining, but only for a moment.” Mairon carefully set the ledger to the side. “The numbers are as good as they are going to get until Langon sends his update.” Mairon stood and returned with two goblets. He handed one to Maitimo. Maitimo sniffed it suspiciously. 

“It’s water.”

After a cautious sip, Maitimo began to drink greedily, the cool, clean water soothing his parched throat and tasting sweeter than any nectar.

“If you throw up, I am expelling you immediately.” 

Maitimo reluctantly lowered the goblet, and saw a board with many glittering pieces had appeared on the desk. 

“So, you are the silver pieces, I am the gold,” Mairon began. Maitimo tried to focus on the rules, his mind still reeling from the unexpected, if temporary, relief from torment and his surprisingly charming host.

[miraculousmarifan]

Felinette Month 2020 - Day 20: Beach Day

Sorry for the delay! Things are getting crazy so there will likely be more delay before the rest of the @felinettenovember prompts are finished. I’ll definitely still write them all though, if you guys decide to stick around for it!

This will probably be my most inappropriate one, with a hormonal teenage Felix at the beach with their class. At most it’s PG-13, so don’t feel too worried, and it’s only part of like two paragraphs closer to the beginning.

Around 1500 words

Marinette has been a natural designer since before Felix had met her. She seemed born with fashion in mind, functional fashion rather than the absurd looks many designers focused on for the runway. He knew she was going places, even before he heard Gabriel discussing her internship offer with Nathalie. 

With her natural ability, Marinette knew how to best emphasize certain areas while minimizing less flattering features. Unfortunately this talent also drew Felix’s eyes and made him feel like a dirty pervert. Part of him hated agreeing to go on this pointless school trip, a trip to the beach to celebrate their upcoming graduation. Soon everyone would head into their separate fields and there'd be less excuses to see each other. Felix would miss out on seeing the lovely Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

He held out hopes that after he finished his business management degree and started working to learn the ropes of Gabriel (in order to eventually take over part of the family business), he may be able to sneak in and see Marinette more often... If she did accept the internship offered… and stayed with the company that long… and wasn't being worked to death… the last one he could at least try to prevent at that point by trying to force her to take necessary breaks.

The fondness he was harboring (a large crush if plainly said, obvious to all even if he refuses to directly acknowledge it, Marinette included) directly lead to his agreement to go to the beach with their class, most of their expenses covered (at least in part by a sizeable donation he had finagled anonymously), and therefore to his current predicament: the distracting state of Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Sporting a lovely swimsuit of her own design, she looked modest yet more eye catching than usual. The top half appeared to be some hybrid between a halter and a bandeau top, with cloth and strings going down to her bottoms in a way that not only held the pieces together and more firmly in place but also drew the eyes over her ridiculously toned stomach and towards her hips. The bottoms fit well, hugging her curves and covering her actual butt, rather than showing "hints" like many of their classmates while still making its existence known,  complete with some bows tied on to add a certain degree of "innocent modesty" to the design. The shades of pink and blue she chose were perfect for both her skin tone and to bring out the depths in her eyes. She was indeed phenomenal in her design capacities and very possibly toying with him. 

And Felix couldn’t seem to stop his eyes from tracing over her, from her bright smile down to her muscular stomach (what kinds of workouts is she getting at that bakery?!), back up to the hair twisting between her swimsuit strap and her neck, and then to her face again. The sound of her laugh ringing out didn't help him focus on gaining composure.

Repeatedly he would lay down and cover his face with the book he had chosen to bring (an older copy of his that wouldn't be worsened by the sand or dirt getting on it), all in hopes that he could will away the fantasies worming their way into his thoughts. Kissing her, one hand behind her neck wrapping around strands of thick dark hair, the other on her hips. Feeling the warmth of her skin from soaking up sun and smelling the delicious perfume she preferred lately, her body pulled close. Her hands drifting up my chest or, better yet, my back as she tries to limit the space between us. Felix smacked his face in hopes of pushing out his perverted thoughts. Damn hormones. She isn't an object to be used, she deserves to be treated with respect!

In his concentration Felix missed that he was actually groaning incoherently out loud, as well as the sound of Marinette approaching to invite him to build a sandcastle with her. Her voice made him jump and a blush spread across his entire face.

"Hey Felix! I know you've got your book but I was wondering if you wanted to help me build a sandcastle? You've got really steady hands and a nack for structure!" She smiled hopefully, leaning over towards him with her hands on her knees. Felix looked away and noticed more than one set of eyes watching them jealously. Marinette was definitely beautiful.

"Heeeey… you startled me… are you sure you don't want to build it with someone else? I don't mind helping but you might have more fun with someone else," he stumbled through his words, trying really hard to avoid looking towards her face and body without seeming rude. At that angle, it was too hard not to see her body while looking at her face and he knew it would distract him too much. He hated how much his hormones had flared up in recent months.

She laughed in her usual bright manner in reply to his weak protest and reached a hand out towards him. He accepted as she told him to come on and pulled him towards a sandy spot far enough in to avoid the waves rushing over it but close enough that they could easily get the more wet sand. Marinette had already picked the perfect spot out by setting a few cups of different sizes, a few gardening tools, and a few drinks partially buried in the sand. As they arrived, she pulled one bottle out of its wet sand holder and checked that Felix liked that kind. He appreciated how attentive she was to people's preferences. She pulled out a different soda and took a sip before returning it to her homemade cup holder. Felix followed suit, then took his place across from her and picked up a small rake-like tool.

He began scraping across the sand, both pulling up sand and flattening out the area. He slowly packed the displaced sand into one of the largest cups in tandem with his landscaping. Marinette watched him for a bit, then picked up a small cup and went to the water's edge to collect some water.

With one large cup filled with sand, he put it down to start building the wall towers. Marinette began pulling sand from other surrounding areas and wetting it with her additional water to pack it into the mold. Soon the two had worked seamlessly to build the outline of a large castle with tall walled areas and it was ready to be shaped further. Felix found that while he could sneak glances at Marinette as the sun shone off her hair beautifully and, with something concrete to focus on and keep his hands moving, it was much easier to keep his mind from straying to the inappropriate. 

The two managed to smooth the walls, make indents for arched windows, and the shape of a door. On the outer walls, they made what looked like a drawbridge pulled up and indents on the top made it look like the tower had crenelation. They had determined a moat would be ideal for their castle's defense. This they made deep, digging down until the sand was almost closer to being dirt, then made a path down to the water's edge so the tide could run down. Rather than digging the entire way deeply, they angled the path so the water would be encouraged to move that direction while theoretically also containing a minimum amount of the water that already flowed into the moat. Finally they moved some of the water directly into the moat so it would have a start.

By the time they finished, a few classmates were watching with interest. Marinette took a quick photo on her phone, telling Felix to pose next to it with a smile. He obliged only for her sake.

Felix stood and stretched, giving his body some time to loosen up after crouching for so long. Suddenly a little bit of water splashed on his back, startling him. Marinette laughed behind him and he turned, face expressing some of the shock he felt. She cracked up even more and Felix decided this was worth getting revenge.

He sprinted towards her in the water and she reached too slow for his surprising speed. He managed to grab her by the waist and twist her around, causing her to fall gently into the slightly deeper water. She continued laughing and Felix grinned before she pulled him into the water with her. This was a challenge he couldn't ignore so he began the splashing contest between the two.

On the shore, Nino and Alya watched from their blanket under an umbrella. The two wondered aloud if they should start a betting pool on who would win or how long it would take the two to start dating. They decided both would be appropriate. 

[toastedricecakes]

Q: How Many Mosquitoes Does It Take To Kill A Human Being?

(Based on episode 45 of The Magnus Archives Podcast: Blood Bag)

The adult human body contains 4.5 to 5.5 liters of blood. Losing half of the blood in your body is a death sentence and pretty much unrecoverable. So about 2.25 to 2.75 liters a person.  

Now, mosquitoes drink about 0.000005 liters of blood each. Taking these numbers into account, we can come up with the following equation to calculate how many mosquitoes would be needed to suck the blood from an adult human body:

(Mosquitoes) x 0.000005 = 2.25 to 2.75

That would leave us with a minimum to maximum mosquito amount: 450,000 to 550,000

An average of 500,000 mosquitoes would be enough to kill your average healthy adult human.  

"But wait!" I hear you cry after overcoming the horrible vision of that many mosquitoes descending upon some poor helpless soul, "There's no way that many mosquitoes can fit on someone! Magnus episode 45: Blood Bag is theoretically impossible. "

And to that I say "Yeah, actually. I hadn't thought about that. Damn,"

Let's discuss how much space these mosquitoes take up, to see just how impossible this situation is.

For the sake of simplicity, we're going to be using measurements from your average forest mosquito/(Asian) tiger mosquito (Aedes Albopictus), which are an invasive species in Europe due to transportation of goods and most likely the tested species of mosquitoes in the Magnus Archive episode. They are about 2 to 10 mm length, depending on environmental factors, which is a fucking bonkers range and makes these calculations much harder. We're going to stay in the highs (4-10 mm) because 1. The non-bloodsucking male mosquitoes are 20% smaller, and we're purely focusing on females. 2. Environmental factors play a big role into size, and these mosquitoes were living in luxury at the lab with optimal conditions and regular feedings.

So that leaves us with this equation:

(Mosquitoes) x 4 to 10 square mm = total area taken up by mosquitoes

So if we have 500,000 mosquitoes, that would be a minimum to maximum of...

2,000,000 to 5,000,000 square mm. 2,000 to 5,000 meters

In comparison, the average human being has about 2 square meters of skin.

And this doesn’t even take into account the air between the mosquitoes and the expanding of the mosquitoes' abdomens after drinking blood.

Can we possibly have the mosquitoes drink more than average? What happens if they drink more than the 0.000005 liters listed? Could we reduce the number of mosquitoes needed?

Over 50 years ago, Robert Gwadz discovered that by making an incision in the central nerve cord of a mosquito, you could cut off the nerve signal that makes mosquitoes stop drinking blood. By undergoing this procedure, the mosquitoes can drink four times their own body weight!

Unfortunately, this also makes their abdomen pop, subsequently killing the mosquito...

So how can this still be possible?

I present my theory: The Mosquitoes On Stacks System. MOSS, for short.

MOSS goes like this: A layer of mosquitoes covers the person and starts drinking. While they are drinking, another layer lands on the first layer and starts sucking from the first layer of mosquitoes' abdomens. And then another layer. And then another. And then another. Until all mosquitoes have drunken their fill.

…. Unfortunately, mosquitoes have never been known to drink from each other. Also, when mosquitoes drink from other insects, it can often times be lethal, as insects are typically much smaller from mosquito’s usual victims: mammals

Also, I’ve just realized that it’s incredibly unlikely that the scientists had anything even close to the 500,000 mosquitoes needed.

Well, fine! Whatever! It was a cool idea, I guess!

You know what? Fuck it! They’re magical mosquitoes! Supernatural mosquitoes that are bigger and more violent and can suck blood more! Yup, just like the worms, they are faster and hungrier and they don’t care about physical limitations given by theoretical science.

Look, kids. The Magnus Archives is a tragedy, but it’s also unrealistic. It has people stealing each other’s bones and still moving around while being devoured by worms and weird eye people that cause apocalypses. It’s a show based on a theme of supernatural horror, and it was made for three purposes: 1. To be scary 2. To tell an emotionally moving story 3. To teach the listeners about understanding fear.

So the mosquitoes? They don’t have to make sense and be put up against scientific tests and equations. Blood Bag was a scary story, and it was written well, and it helped further the plot and was an interesting concept.  

I enjoyed that episode, and so I wanted to investigate further. But I wasn’t investigating in order to criticize the writing. I was investigating because it was a fun concept and I wanted to explore the connotations of murderous mosquitoes. I love using theoretical science to answer the most bat shit crazy questions, it gave me a fun project to work on during an emotionally taxing quarantine.

So, the moral of the story?

The real murderous mosquitoes were the friends we made along the way.

[inyuji]

Drawn during my sick period. Caught the stronger cold, thankfully not the flu. Did I ever mention how much I love “Beastars” and can’t wait to watch it again when it hits U.S. Netflix. Because of the purely animal-based world, it brings up a lot of heavy topics that bleed heavily into the real world. So it really begged the question of seeing how my Darkwing OC Rei would fit in this universe.

I actually did have a story point for Rei getting sucked into a dimensional worm-hole that was unintentionally opened during a villain fight. Rei was closest to Gosalyn, who was close to being sucked into that wormhole. Being unable to fully pull Gosalyn out, she did the next desperate thing; switch places while throwing Gosalyn out of harm’s way. So far, I’d say this is the 4th or 5th dimension. Each dimension is either close enough to her original, or can potentially lead her closer. Darkwing and some colleagues are able to time and activate these “jumps” long enough to help Rei find her way home. Each jump is entirely random, due to difference in time.

In this dimension, Rei was found and taken in by Legosi’s grandfather. After hearing stories about his family, Rei decided to visit Legosi at school. This is recently after the events of season 1. Legosi is shocked about the temporary sibling, and panicking about how to go about baby-sitting a small, errant duck. For spoiler reasons, I’m not mentioning why he doesn’t talk to his grandpa, and warning you all that the last fourth jpeg is a major manga spoiler. Rei makes it known that she’s 13, not six, and that she’s less likely to cause a huge disruption in Legosi’s schedule. Legosi still prefers to keep Rei near him no matter what, since that’s what he thinks a big brother should do. Haru is amused and finds it sweet that he’s taking his big-brother role seriously. Rei allows this over-protective streak, sensing that Legosi is a raging storm of anxiety and insecurities. So she dedicates herself as his “therapy duck.” She benefits from shadowing him, since she can get more research on the society of this dimension, and she never says no to new knowledge.

One of the human dimensions she’s laid low in was from “Carole and Tuesday” anime. She became a fan of the music there. But she’s peeved that she can’t find an instrument her size. She doesn’t like the idea of asking Gosha for any string instrument, when he’s already bought her a flip-phone. Darkwing Prime dimension is most likely set in the 90s, so Flip-phones and smartphones are high-tech to her. She’s enjoying watching the drama club and hanging with Legosi’s dorm mates. Bill is tolerable, but she can sense he isn’t a bad tiger. Just a super-masculine meat-head. Rei prays to whatever deity or force that she doesn’t become as hormonal or angst-filled as the teenagers in this school. So far, only Legosi and Haru know that she’s an esper. Everyone thinks that Rei is just a weird duck with no sense of self-preservation, since she doesn’t cow in fear in the presence of bigger animals. Song she’s singing is “After the Fire” from “Carole and Tuesday.”

In each dimension, Rei’s body will adapt accordingly, but her esper powers are never going away, along with all of her other little quirks. So here she has to balance to having 5 fingers, but still having a duck body, that’s not quite like her original one. Every dimension has presented a different experience, so she’s started to undergo a changing phase. So she won’t be as super laidback and quiet about some things. Of course, seeing how this animal society is already on a tense tightrope, the onslaught of vibes would almost suffocate Rei at first. Then there’s the weird fact of how oddly heavy she is for a 13-year old duck. Her muscle mass practically outweighs whatever body fat she has, which explains her rather freakish strength. Downside is that she’s the odd duck that can’t swim. Mentioned in previous sketchdumps with Rei, Darkwing has strong suspicions that Rei is a mutant. Now, Rei is convinced that her 7 year amnesia is the result of a traumatic childhood being a genetic lab experiment. Of course, Rei has been careful of exposing her esper powers, but in this world, the occasional show of power is her only tool to get herself out of unfavorable situations. She’s not going to be openly freaking people out with esper powers and would prefer not to advertise that she’s an esper.

Now because I don’t want to spoil everyone of future 2nd or even 3rd season, be aware that the 4th image contains manga spoilers.

When Rei leapt into this dimension, she landed in the middle of the Dark Market, and had no idea how dangerous being a duck would be, once predators are looking to gang on you. While she could’ve dealt with this physically, the onslaught of vibes in her vicinity was enough to make her lash out in a more threatening, psychic manner. Once she was able to scare her way outside, she wandered aimlessly, and then bumped into Legosi’s grandfather, Gosha. Authorities had found Rei and immediately wanted to separate the herbivore orphan from a venomous reptile. Only for Rei to openly threaten them with her psychic powers to not get pulled back into an orphanage. The cops don’t want to deal with a potential monster and willingly let Rei stay with Gosha. Gosha doesn’t mind having to take care of her. He just wishes that Rei stop being openly threatening with sharp objects. He’s lost count of how many knives, cutters, or broken glass bottles he has confiscated. She takes high offense to the discrimination of venomous reptiles, when Gosha is just the sweetest Komodo dragon. Gosha just prefers NOT to give authorities a good excuse to put Rei into an orphanage, or worse, a lab. He still feels bad that Rei does nothing but watch tv or go to the library, not that Rei cares. She’s fine with this arrangement, not wanting to inconvenience Gosha. She gets a kick out of “Happy Happy Cooking” and other programs.

[watchdogg]

A Guide: Raw Feeding for Dogs

Don’t have time to make BARF? Not sold on it? If you want to know what dry foods are best check this out.

What’s on the menu? BARF (Biologically Appropriate Raw Food). This recipe is based off of Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s own recipe provided in his book Give Your Dog a Bone. Great read, would recommend.

However, there are a couple ingredients he discusses which have been recently proven as poor dietry choices for dogs. For example, he speaks of the inclusion of milk and garlic which have been discovered, through scientific study, to make dogs quite ill. Therefore the recipe I have written below excludes any ingredients I have found research on that are detrimental to your dog’s health.

BARF is essentially everything you would find in a grain-free dry dog food, but fresh!

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

I DO NOT APPROVE of the Canine Ancestral Diet or Prey Model diet, which is 80% meat. I have a seperate blog post discussing why (click here to find out more)!

EVERYTHING YOU MAKE MUST BE BLENDED TOGETHER INTO A CONSOLIDATED MUSH! Your dog has to eat everything, you must not give it the choice to pick certain things out of their bowl, it all has to go in their tummy! This is how we get to deficiencies!

I will post a seperate description of my exact routine, and how I measure out everything my girl needs as an example so you have something to compare to.

DISCLAIMER: If your vet has told you that your pet MUST eat a prescription diet due to health condition/allergy, please listen to them. Every health issue has causes and triggers, there are many, and I cannot possibly cover all of them in this post. Does this mean there aren't raw options for dogs with health issues or allegeries? No. There certainly are. For example, if your dog is allergic to wheat they can go on a wheat-free dry food OR BARF. But I cannot be responsible for your failings in proper research. SO, this means that if you have a dog with congenital issues, like kidney problems, please research into what that means before going against a prescription dry or wet food diet.

Appropriate vegetables include:

- Silver beet

- Bok choy

- Celery

- Carrots

- Sugar beet

Appropriate fruits include:

- Apples

- Oranges

- Blueberries

- Pears

REMINDER: you absolutely MUST vitamise fruits and vegetables. Your dog does not have molars like that of a horse for example, they cannot grind fibre, they use their molars for snapping large food items into smaller chunks. Herbivores chew for a reason. Plant cells are surrounded by a cellulose, and most guts do not have the enzymes required to dissolve cell walls, hence chewing. DOGS ALSO CANNOT DIGEST CELLULOSE, and they do not have the mechanics required to break down plant matter into a digestible form. I learned the function of teeth during my studies into paleontology, where dental analysis is vital. (1)

SUPPLEMENTS: TO BE BLENDED INTO YOUR BARF MIX 

the listed supplements contain the vitamins and omegas your dog needs to thrive. These vitamins already naturally exist in the vegatables and meats listed. HOWEVER, if your dog is not eating some kind of fish every day for example, then they need to be digesting at least flaxseed oil to make up for this. This is just one example. It is important to fill in any possible gaps, and these supplements make sure there aren’t any ;)

If you are feeding your dog fish oil you MUST also feed vitamin E oil, the dog’s body will use up stores of Vitamin E to process fish oil which oxidises very easily! If you are using one of the below supplements, you do not need to use fish oil. If you are using a supplement like megaderm or Omega blend, follow the directions on the bottle! So, this means don’t go adding it when you are making BARF, add upon feeding it to your dog.

SUPPLEMENTS INCLUDE:

- Megaderm (CONTAINS: vitamin B7, B6, A, E, omega 6&3) dosage instructions on bottle (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- Vets All Natural Omega Blend (CONTAINS: flaxseed oil (omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids), shark liver oil (omega-3 and vitamin A), sunflower oil (omega-6) and wheat germ oil (omega-3)) (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- just straight flaxseed oil (human-grade is the same stuff) 2 or 3 desert spoons

OTHER SUPPLEMENTS:

- Kelp powder (2-3 tsp) (contains: 60 different minerals and vitamins and 21 amino acids)

- Green tripe (contains: probiotics, essential fatty acids and digestive enzymes)

- Sardines (great for coat health)

- Tongue (fatty, good for active dogs)

- Green lipped muscle (aimed towards joint health, good for large breeds)

- Liver (contains vitamin A, B vitamins, iron, copper, zinc, essential fatty acids) 2 tblsp per day is recommended amount for medium dogs (I buy a pack of chicken livers (500g) and chuck it into the barf mix. This works out to be 17g perday)

DO NOT OVER FEED FATTY ACID SUPPLEMENTATION, keep to the recommended dose! Large quantities can cause Seborrhea oleosa (bad dandruff). It is possible to have too much of a good thing.

It is really important you do not overdose on any supplement. For example, glucosamine is great for old joints but it is also rated a top poison for dogs because of its potential for overdosing. (2)

WHAT MEAT AND ORGANS ARE BEST?

MEAT SHOULD NOT BE COOKED when fed to dogs. This decreases protein digestability and destroys essential amino acids such as lysine and methionine. That being said, meat is NOT a complete food, it is deficient in a lot of vitamins dogs need! So veggies are still a must.

Mince is great, but if you can find mince with ground bone included that would be even better. If you are living in Melbourne, The Saltiest Dog (in Thornbury) is a great store to visit to purchase such a thing. Try to stay away from ‘pet meats’, like those sold in Woolworths or Coles. They contain harmful preservatives (3). The cleaner/more human grade the better. Research into local raw food stores around you and ask about the meat they get in/what if any preservatives are in their meat.

Kangaroo is an environmentally friendly choice! They do not rely on the production of grain to survive, and they are indigenous to the land (their feet don’t compact soil and turn it infertile). It is the most humane way of harvesting red meat if you think about their lives up until the point of death.

The leaner the meat the better! Kangaroo is very lean! Turkey is another great option, but if you are afraid of salmonella, stay away from poultry. Variability of protein is not as important as what parts of the body you are feeding your dog. They need muscle, bone, and offal (tongue, heart, liver, etc.)!

I generally go by: 30% mince+bone & 20% offal.

BONES:

NEVER FEED COOKED BONES! They will splinter and cause internal injury.

Is it dangerous to feed raw bones? NO!

It is imperitive in the BARF diet that your dog is getting some kind of whole bone to eat EVERY DAY. But don’t be silly about it, think about your dog’s size. If you have a mini poodle, you should be giving it chicken necks, not beef weight bearing bones. The bones you give should be soft enough so that they don’t chip your dog’s teeth. This also means NO weight bearing bones till the dog is over 6 months old.

I have talked to customers at Petbarn who just happen to have silly dogs who won’t chew bones at all, and instead swallow them whole. If this is the case, please stick to turkey/duck/chicken necks. These are harder to choke on beause the bones are so tiny. Once again, if you fear potential bacteria or worm risks, freeze your meat before feeding (this will kill a lot of what you are scared of). DO NOT GIVE YOUR DOG FROZEN BONES, they will chip a tooth.

Bones act like fibre. They help everything move along in their intestines. They also contain vitamins and proteins they need. You can learn more about bone benefits in Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s book Give Your Dog a Bone.

I give my dogs a bone of some description every morning. Generally, it is a chicken carcass and once a week they get a roo rib or beef vertebrae (you can buy a bag of 'broth bones' from Woolworths which are great) to really get their teeth into.

It is really important that your dog is chewing on something every day. Whether it be a bone or a Kong/dental toy. It is imperitive for mental and dental health. The action of chewing for a dog is the equivelant of a human doing a sudoku or crossword.

HOW MUCH TO FEED:

This model is based off of the Raw&Fresh model which you can find on their website (https://rawandfresh.com.au/collections/treats), this also happens to be where I buy my bones from.

Essentially, you pick whether to feed 2-5% based on your dogs age and activity level. For example, senior dogs need to be eating more protein and fat because they lose muscle mass faster. A dog who has a high activity level needs more energy and a dog who is overweight should be fed less.

Generally, they should be getting 2-3%.

Whatever you decide on, this should be split into two meals. You'll find that two meals per day reduces their scavenging behaviour. I tend to feed the bone proportion in the morning and the patty mix at night.

The key to feeding your dog a raw diet is to WATCH. Watch your dog's weight. It is as simple as that. Watch how they put on weight, if they are becoming too skinny or overweight. Watch and adjust accordingly.

KEEP THIS FORUMLA IN MIND:

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

FEEDING LARGE BREEDS:

- BARF = time and money. Sometimes it can be unrealistic when you have a large breed.

- It can be a lot preparing a batch of food for a large breed, which can potentially be up to 2kg per day depending on how big the dog is. Ideally you would want to be making a batch that lasts the month, which we can individually pack and freeze. But with larger breeds that can get difficult when you are busy or you have a tiny freezer.

- Luckily their daily intake is not 100% BARF

- My GSD, Juni, requires 600g per day as a 30kg dog with a medium activity level. That means I'd need to make 18kg of BARF to last her a month. Yikes.

- I have found two ways around this:

- First of all, 600g is her daily intake, which means a bit of that (around 250g) can be meaty bone.

- I also cut some of her food with Ziwi Peak. This is an air-dried (NOT BAKED) dog food. Once the bone has been eaten, that leaves ~350g left to go.

- Her weight requires 350g of Ziwi Peak per day according to their feeding guide. Therefore, she gets 150g of Ziwi Peak and 150g of BARF

- I increase her BARF intake depending on the bone she gets

- The end result is I only have to make 4.6kg for the month if my life is turning out to be hectic and busy. Not to mention freezer space being an issue.

- When I find I have more time, this increases to 9kg and I don't need to feed Ziwi Peak at all.

1. You can learn more about dental function in mammals here:Smith, Kathleen, Wall, Christine. (2005). Ingestion in Mammals. In Encyclopedia of Life Sciences (Vol. 10, pp. 272-277). John Wiley Sons, Ltd. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Ingestion-in-Mammals-Wall-Smith/596099f8125d6ee16f40c858fe144613a225ae14

2. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/42594946_Accidental_overdosage_of_ joint_supplements_in_dogs

Nobles IJ, Khan S. Multiorgan dysfunction syndrome secondary to joint supplement overdosage in a dog. Can Vet J. 2015;56(4):361-364. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4357907/

3. https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/are-preservatives-in-pet-food-products-a-concern/

[mrneighbourlove]

Evil’s Bane: Ch 8. Looming Dread

Leere looked a round a massive red ballroom, with a large staircase leading up to more doors. There were chandeliers hanging above, and many routes that they could take. No exits outside of course. Turning to Bonegrinder, she was catching her breath with the other Mortuus. “Bonegrinder. And Hades? I’m surprised you made it here.”

"Bonegrinder?" Black approached the Anagari who was breathing hard. It was evident he was not fully healed. Hades did what he could, but it would take a while for Prama's magic to finish such horrible injuries, most of which could not be seen with the eye. The Wraith frowned, noticing how the Anagari was struggling to even stay upright. "... we need to go back. You're in bad shape."

"He has been in bad shape for a long time, Black." Bonegrinder always had that dry humor availible, despite the situation. "You will have to wait to go back. Summoning a portal is not easy work. He will have to rest some more."

“Can we wait here? What if danger makes itself known?” Bi-Hanzo asked. Grabbing his head, he shook it. Felt hot in the room. And, did he hear something in distance? Sounded like laughter. No. Must have been his imagination.

"Not unless you have readily available portal magic so we can leave." Black then stated. "If you want to go on, then be my guest. My responsibility is the princess. Not you."

"... this snake supposes that he should question where we are. There is a familiar feeling of this place... but worse than last time."

“Last time?” Leere asked.

Hades was pacing around, feeling uncertain about his surroundings. Kenshi wiped the sweat off his head, feeling sick.

"Wait... no... was that this snake or Prama?" Bonegrinder rubbed his forehead. "His memories... Prama's memories... when is where, and where is when..."

"Don't stress over it," Black knew this was not a good sign. Anymore stress, and his master's mind might snap again. Two souls in one body was really taxing and he had seen many of his master's so-called 'episodes'. The last thing the group needed was a huge blast of magic knocking everyone back and drawing the attention of Destroyer... or his minions. "We're here now. Let's focus on the here."

Leere paced, rubbing her head. There was something... bad. Something familiar in the air. And it made her feel anxious.

Kenshi suddenly looked up, feeble shock trembling in his voice. There was sweat gushing down his face now, and his widened eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept for days. “Franeska?”

Leere and the others turned to see Kenshi suddenly running off. Bi-Hanzo was shocked by this. “Kenshi! Where are you going?!” The man chased after his fellow villager. When Kenshi reached the door, he opened it up with a kick. Inside was a small room with no natural light in the room. In that room, a little girl with her back to him facing the direct corner of the room was all that could be seen. Unnaturally she was perfectly illuminated with a bright red coat that covered her face from view. Leere looked to Black, hurrying along. Kenshi kept himself in the frame of the door from letting anyone else in.

"Don't follow after that apparition!" Black told Kenshi, sensing danger when the man ran off, but he did not chase him. He stayed with Leere. "Bonegrinder... something bad is coming, isn't it?"

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it, Black... it's much worse than you could ever imagine."

Kenshi drew closer, relief on his face. “Franeska? It’s your father. It’s me.”

As Leere got into eyesight, all her instincts kicked in so fast she almost threw up. Memories she buried of being underwater and trapped with nightmares flooded back. She could sense the unique brand of demonic undeath now. It tastes like iron and vomit on her tongue. As her breath grew dry, and she tried to get the words out, Kenshi felt it too. “Wait...”

What turned around was no longer his daughter. A hideous monster with bone claws coming out of its hands and a disturbing contorted face of twisted flesh. With a shake of its head, as if confirming it was no longer his daughter, it stabbed those claws deep into Kenshi’s chest. Over and over it tore him slowly apart. Leere and Bi-Hanzo stepped back. From inside the room, a gargled roar echoed in its chambers. Turns out, in the dark, there was long, long tunnel that stretched far and wide. And it was filled to the brim with monsters. Leere looked to the door up the stair case, adrenaline rushing through her. “RUN!!!”

"Again with the running, why can't humans ever listen?" Black hurried alongside Leere, rushing, but looked over his shoulder to see Bonegrinder and Hades. At least his master could still move, but his speed was greatly reduced. The ghouls snarled, almost trampling over each other to tear the group apart. They had so much energy and hate in their being then any other undead the Wraith had seen. Once the doors at the top of the staircase were open, and everyone was through, Black used a touch of his own magic to seal it for the time being. There were multiple bangs against the door, and he frowned. "We have to find a place where we can rest for a bit. All this running is going to take a toll on all of us."

The bang on the doors grew more intense, and the ghouls crawled over the walls and ran to other doors to find other ways of reaching them. There were hundreds of undead that chased them from that room alone. How many more were there? Leere gripped her shadow medallion, sighing. “Let’s keep walking down this hall for now.” Looking to Bi-Hanzo, she nodded solemnly to him. “I’m so sorry about losing Kenshi.”

“Least I know what’s happened to my missing people...”

"We need to exercise caution. We don't know what to expect from a place like this." Black walked beside of Leere, glancing back every now and then to check on Bonegrinder. The Wraith was concerned about the Anagari. He had not seen him look this bad in a very long while. Black was one of the oldest members of the Hive and he had been through harsh times with Bonegrinder, thick and thin.

Walking down the hallway, it started to curve. On the walls were pipes and lights. Leere heard of this before, and seen it in Danjur. Electricity. Little bulbs of light glowing faintly to light of the room.

There were doors every once in the while on the left side. Staying alert, they saw a Mortuus at one of the doors, fumbling with keys to get in. Leere looked to Black. “Should we risk taking a guide, or move on?”

"Judging from what transpired outside this tower, these people rather shoot off their own foot than help a stranger." Black did not sound too enthused. "Let us try to keep moving until Bonegrinder can summon a portal."

"We cannot trust these Mortuus, Leere." Bonegrinder told the princess in-between slithers. He had to stop to catch his breath every now and then. Seeing he was larger than the humans and Hades, he could slither a little then rest for a moment. "Remember what he said about friend or foe; that does not apply here. They are both."

“Agreed. I don’t want to talk with these cultists of damnation.” It seemed Bi-Hanzo was in a charitable mood towards Bonegrinder. So they waited until the Mortuus was gone before contributing onwards. Walking up a spiraling staircase, they started to gain a view of the outside. The city held the sights of people arguing, children running through the streets, and monsters eating anyone who was foolish enough to have their guard down. High in the sky, a dragon flew by silently. Leere cringed when she saw how little skin it had on its body when it become illuminated by the moon.

Arriving at the top of the staircase, they came across a purple and red door. Creaking it open, Leere peered inside. A giant ballroom filled with cultists were strewn about. They were cutting apart bodies, experimenting with wiring, and praying to statues of various gods and demons. It seemed to be an active hub.

"...!!!" Bonegrinder felt physically sick. His scales flickered, sensing the danger. Carefully, he pulled Leere back with his tail and shut the door, praying none of the cultists noticed. "... he senses foulness there, tiny princess. Let us keep going."

"... they were making more puppets, weren't they?" Black asked his master.

"Yes, among other things. This snake can sense his brother's presence nearby... that or his magic one. Destroyer and Chaos have riddled this place with their disease of seducing black arts."

As Hades was about to turn back down the stairs, he paused. His powerful sense of hearing often lead to dread. “Those undead abominations have found our path. Judging by the smell, they’d be upon us in fifteen minutes.”

"There's no way all of us can take down a horde of those things." Black knew he could simply hide in the shadows and wait it out, but pulling in three other beings with him? That'd drain his magic excessively. There was no way he could pull it off for long and he refused to leave his master's side anyhow. "Do you think we can find a way to the outside? It'd even be safer to hang off a wall at this point."

Hades looked down at the room, scanning its contents. At the far end, he saw a sign of hope. “Very end of the room. There’s an elevator going upwards. Our chances are much stronger if we fight our way through to there then back down. Bonegrinder. Can you manage it?”

"This snake can move, though he is concerned about the elevator." The Anagari told the Lynel. "He is very weighty and so are you, old friend. There is a chance we both might not fit."

“Then we can take turns. Let us depart.”

Down at in the ballroom, one cultist was conducting an experiment. With a rat maze, he had a small worm like parasite travel through a fog identical to the one that the group traveled through the cave. Once it made its way to the other size and in a bigger container, it grew nearly ten times its size to fill the glass container. As he was writing notes, his head suddenly turned into red paste as Hades club utterly destroyed him with one swing. The Lynel short teleported over your cause first blood and sew confusion amongst the cultists.

Leere was running down the steps to the elevator, when she paused in her tracks at a monument she saw. A red obelisk with runes glew a menacing light glow on and off, and a deep anger filled her being. It was a construct just like the Beacon she shut down decades ago. “Sweet mother of god...”

When a cultist tried to hack at her with a sickle, Leere twisted her body around to dance around her attacker. With a graceful movement of her arms, she positioned her scythe at the other Mortuus head. Activating her blade, the blue hum of the energy easily decapitated her target, sending the head rolling in Black’s direction.

Black was managing to keep the cultists away from Bonegrinder with ease. He was using the darkness to his advantage. One by one, he took down anyone foolish enough to try to harm his master. Still, there was no place safe enough to rest and recover. The group would have to keep moving. Though when Hades suggested that all of them take turns on the elevator, Black shook his head furiously. "I will not leave Bonegrinder while he's like this. If he is alone and attacked, and another episode occurs, he could bring down this whole tower and us with it."

“Then you go up with him first!” Hades bucked his feet backwards, kicking another cultist into a statue. Leere watched Bi-Hanzo race for the elevator. When they got closer, he realized how big it was. More so, looking up at the opening, how far it traveled up. “Hurry!”

One Cultist threw a spear and chain at Black, stabbing through his shoulder blade and pulling him closer. His eyes were a mess with bloodlust, and with magic, a ghostly green fire spread up the chain to burn the Wraith. As the cultist was ready to turn up the heat, Leere cut the chain off, following up with chopping Black’s attacker in half. It left a messy pair of legs to stumble around for a moment. “Are you alright?”

Bonegrinder managed to slither into the elevator, fitting his coils inside tightly. There was just enough room for Black when the Wraith was suddenly pulled backwards. As soon as the assassin was out of the elevator, the doors suddenly shut and trapped the Anagari inside. Black, however, released a piercing screech as the blade struck through his body. He did not know what the tool was enchanted with, some kind of dark magic, but it made his limbs feel numb. Almost like the Cultist was trying to force his will. As soon as Leere cut down the cultist, he held his shoulder. Little drops of blood floated around the wound, able to see clearly through the hole. This would take a while to fix. "... that magic was trying to force me to obey." The Wraith then glanced at the elevator. "And we're separated from Bonegrinder. We must find him."

The elevator suddenly shot up, leaving the group the watch Bonegrinder be taken away. “No! No!!!” Leere reached a hand up in vein. She wasn’t fast enough. Looking around, she saw a lever to call it back down. Pulling it, she didn’t know how long they’d have to wait. Although the last of the cultists were dead or scattered, the danger wasn’t over. Back at the door they entered, a cultist was about to flee, when she was suddenly snatched away by the swarm of the undead. The hideous ghouls looked down the stairs, looking at the group. With a war cry of terror, they ran towards the flesh. Leere gripped her scythe, taking a few breaths. “We just have to hold out!”

"Hold out?! There's too many of them." Black was never an optimistic person. "If one of us gets pulled down, we're not getting back up---!!!"

DING!

The Wraith was interrupted by the elevator's appearance... without Bonegrinder inside.

Too late. The monsterous creatures were already on top of them.

Bi-Hanzo magically blasted ice and picked up a sword to hack away at them. When one slashed at his stomach, bleeding him, he retreated back into the elevator after bringing up a wall of ice between him and some of the ghouls.

Black might have been impressed by how quick and furious Leere was if both weren’t concerned with staying alive. The Shadow Sage kept hacking away at the fast undead, limb after limb after limb. But there were just too many. Covered in blood, unsure how much was there and how many cuts they gave here, she didn’t know if they’d make it out alive.

That was when Hades launched a powerful stream of fire to burn away a wave of the undead. “Into the elevator! Flee! Now! You must live!!!”

The ghouls were endless, one after the other, and he was down an arm. The Wraith had to improvise, pulling the undead around with his shadows and using the area to his advantage. Yet, even he was tiring. When Hades bellowed at him to move, the assassin started to protest. Bonegrinder would have his head if he knew he left Hades, but also if he put Leere in unnecessary danger. Damn it, why did this always have to happen to him.? Black had never moved so fast in this second chance of life, if one would call it that, as he chucked Leere over his shoulder so she could still swing her weapon and launched into the elevator.

Leere was ready to save Hades when Black suddenly picked her up. Her concentration disrupted, she could have used the shadows to give him a fighting chance, or give him reinforcements. As she got her footing again, the last glimpse she saw of the Lynel was being swarmed by the ghouls when the elevator doors slammed shut, and they made their way up.

“No!!!” Leere slammed her fists on the door. Still angry, she turned to Black, clocking him in the face with a surprise punch to the nose. “What the hell are you thinking?!?! You disrupted my concentration! Again! I could have helped give Hades a chance had you not suddenly grabbed me from behind! You’re not a knight in shining armour Black!”

Bi-Hanzo was still catching his breath, looking at this blood covered woman screaming at her comrade. Glancing at his own wounds, he winced.

"..." Black barely flinched when Leere punched him. He wiped away the floating blood from his nose and then retorted, "Bonegrinder gave me an order to look after your ungrateful ass. I promised him I would. I'm keeping my promise, no matter how much I think this whole idea of yours was a fool's errand. Now are you going to stop screaming at me like a brat and help me find my master or are you going to continue to berate me for my job?"

“I’m going to berate you for not thinking properly. Yes, I wanted to come here. But I know exactly what I’m getting myself into! I’m a warrior Black! This type of shit is my expertise. And if you keep fucking around and treating me like a Princess, you’re going to get others killed, or me! You want to save your master? Then use your goddamn brain.”

Bi-Hanzo leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths. “What kind of shit are we in?”

Leere took a moment to use her shadow magic to peel off the blood stains from her clothes and onto the floor. “Nothing good at all. These Mortuus must be magical geniuses or morons. I’m going to say the latter seeing how they found a way to open up a portal to a dimension of madness and the worst undead I’ve encountered in my life. There’s no telling what else we’ll discover here. All I know is I’m not leaving until I shut it down. Again.”

"... fine then. You certainly have the bitchy temper of a princess." Black used the shadows to 'stitch' his shoulder wound closed for the time being. It almost looked like a dark parasite latching onto the Wraith's skin, but it would have to do for now. "I'm going to search for Bonegrinder. You do what you like." Once the elevator stopped, the Wraith took a look at the surroundings before stepping out.

Outside, was a narrow, metal caged hallway. The steel was rusting something fierce, and the darkness was overwhelming from all directions around them.

“What happened to sticking together?” Leere finally took a look at Bi-Hanzo’s wounds, pulling out a sewing kit from one of her pouches to help him out.

"You obviously care more for this Prama-forsaken country than you do for the well being of the one who has tried to protect you from all this darkness for years. I don't understand you. You're not the hero, you're the Shadow Sage. Heroic missions are for that kid swinging around a sword in green." Black stated very bluntly, "Bonegrinder is by no means perfect, but he does care for you for some reason that eludes me. I'm not going to guard someone who doesn't want me to do so and I'm going to go and find him so we can get out of his hell on earth."

“And what are you Black? An undead blade to your master? Klinge minus the smug charm?” She pulled tight on one of Bi-Hanzo’s wounds. “What I do I don’t ever account to my daughter or other children. This isn’t a fairy tale of a hero. But this is good vs. evil. There is a nightmare I need to put an end to here. You go find Bonegrinder. Leave if you want. But you save the good that can be found in this damned corner of earth.” She turned to him, a fierce determination in her eyes. “Because fighting for the good of humanity is always a noble cause.”

"Heh, now Klinge was someone I would admire. He had the lethality of an Echidnan when he was undead but gave it up for that woman and to play house." Black told the princess with no qualms about his statement. "I am an assassin. I was a bringer of death in life and now I am in this state. I killed many arrogant bastards, some who deserved it, some may not have. Either way, what 'good' I have seen in this world is debatable." The Wraith told Leere. "I am not here to protect the 'good' left in this earth. I am here to ensure the safety of Bonegrinder, the one being who tried to help me during the time where I was lost. I am not here to save the many, I am here to save only one." He then said, "Have you even thought about what would happen if Prama was ripped from Bonegrinder too early? No? Of course you haven't. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here, in the last place my master should be, but no. No, he's here because you made a deal with that damn Prama and he feels guilty. You manipulated him." Black barely showed emotion, but this was definitely a button for him. "You're right, Leere. I am no knight in shining armor. Never aimed to be. Yet, I will keep Bonegrinder save with the last of what I am because he helped me when no one else would." He scoffed. "Good of humanity... humans caused all of this. They had a choice. These Mortuus had a choice. And look what they chose. I have very little faith in humanity."

“You’re right. And it’s my choice to save what I can.” Leere stepped off the elevator with Bi-Hanzo. Activating her scythe, she used the blade to light the way forward. With blood long stained on the floor, it didn’t look pleasant. Leading them, she smirked at Black’s thoughts on the o. “Gave up his lethality? I pity you Black. You and the rest of the Hive. And I think I finally get it.”

"You don't need to." Black admitted to Leere almost with a chuckle. "We're all monsters here. The fact is, I've embraced it." He then looked at her. "But you haven't."

“And you think that’s a good thing? You lack humanity. You lack empathy for those outside your immediate bubble. It’s our connections to family, friends, and those we love that makes us strong. Why would you want to be a monster Black? Monsters are what threaten the innocent.”

”You can’t save them”

A tiny whisper ran out in their heads individually. It was like the wind in the air, briefly passing by.

Leere gripped her head, shrugging it off to paranoia that she’d fail. “I can be as vicious, bloodthirsty, and dangerous as I can be. But that doesn’t make me a monster.”

"It is a good thing, because the monsters survive, Leere." Black thought it was rather amusing. She still had no clue of why Bonegrinder wanted her to avoid all of this madness. Yet, perhaps it would eventually be her downfall. If only she had listened, the princess wouldn't be in this place. "And I am not human. Therefore, my lacking of humanity is for naught."

“But you where human once. Surely that means something to you. Tell me. Who do you love the most Black. Who’d you give your all to that wasn’t your job? Who do you miss in your heart?” Leere’s scythe went out, and she never got her answer. “Black? Bi-Hanzo?” Leere searched around in the darkness, and the assassin and the Mortuus warrior were gone.

"I was never fully human, I was am a hy---!!!"

Black was suddenly alone. He pivoted on his heel. Where did the princess go? He looked up and then down. No, he did not fall through a hole. Nor did he activate his shadow magic. What was going on? The Wraith jolted when he saw an outline of his old home. It was faint in his memories, but he knew it was there. He also recalled the pain that was held there. Recollections he'd rather forget. His parents were very much in love, but his birth was a bad omen to them. Yes, his beautiful mother, a human, and his mighty father, a monster from some of Mother's adoptive children, as she called them. A enchanting Nokken, otherwise known as a shapeshifter. Some could reproduce with humans. Others could not.

"Filthy halfling, filthy halfling."

This was an illusion. His parents were long gone. These faces which tormented him were dead. He knew that, he killed them. Perhaps it was now his turn to be haunted. Yet, that would be silly. A Wraith? Being haunted? A ghost haunting a spirit? That was laughable. Yet, the words still stung. The way the other children would chant 'filthy halfling' always irritated him. There was no love for anything remotely human in the world of monsters. It was easier to be a full monster, then anything resembling human. So, Black wanted to make sure that no one would ever mistake him for a pitiful human ever again. He'd change his shape and blend into the shadows.

"Don't you want to be a full monster? What if we could help you?"

"A little too late to play mind games, don't you think?"

"You could be of more assistance to Bonegrinder rather than a weak halfling."

"That's true. I probably would be stronger."

"Then accept our help. Let us help you break free of these human restraints."

"No."

"No? We thought you hated humans."

"I do. They're rotten creatures. But... they're crafty. And I'd like to hold onto that part of me."

“How about a test then?” A voice that didn’t belong called out. A shadow swept through the area, materializing with horns and a smell of brimstone. With flickering red eyes and a body that wasn’t all there, the Shadow Man confronted Black. “A choice then. Human? Or monster kind?”

"... you're the one that Echidnans call Tzitzimime..." The Wraith did not seem afraid or bothered. It was hard to have emotions being in a state of limbo, he supposed. Though, for some odd reason, he could still feel frustration. "The embodiment of Chaos."

“A humble avatar for my master.” The Shadow Man chuckled. With the wave of a hand, two doors appeared. “You have a choice to make Wraith. On the left door you will be led down a path to the fallen Echidnan God. On the right, the Mortuus Sage desperately clinging to hope. Both are about to become in mortal danger. If you hurry, you might be able to save one. Human or Monster? And I’d chose quickly.”

"So I suppose Mother of the Monsters was correct. You are split into pieces." Black simply stood there. "I'm surprised you haven't tried to kill me. Giving me a choice instead?"

“Because it’ll be more fun to see you fail in protecting not just one, but potentially two of your companions.” The insidious malice dripping from his voice was piercing. “Be fun to see your face twist with anguish when you see them dead.”

"You are mistaken if you believe I think of that human girl as a companion." Black was as stoic as ever. "Bonegrinder told me to protect her. She told me not to do so. If she dies, then the world will be rid of another one of your potential hosts you've waited for, obviously for a long while or you'd be here causing your havoc already." The Wraith asked, sounding a touch... pissed. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

“I do. That’s why you aren’t dedicated in a choice regardless by now. Save your master, or go out to kill the girl to stop my first plan of choice.”

"Well, you see, you made a mistake. I care about Bonegrinder. Not that shitty god inside of him. Also, one more thing," Black held out his hand before jerking it back. "You have to pay an assassin to kill someone. I'm not seeing any loot. So goodbye." The Wraith took the door to his master.

The Shadow Man’s eyes flickered with a smile. Closing the door behind Black, he made sure to single Destroyah that now was the time. “All too easy.”

Bonegrinder was in a hell of his own. The Anagari was frozen, unable to move. His limbs would not work and he could not find the strength to slither. He was tormented by visions of his family, lost long ago. The way they spoke was like a drug. He had not heard their voices in years, seen their faces in ages. The snake was content to die here since he saw his family one last time. Yet, Prama was trying to draw the snake back to rational thought, will him to get up and fight, but if he risked using too much magic, it would draw the attention of Dhakk. He could sense his brother nearby. This had to be a ploy.

Luckily, Black knew just the way to gain his master's attention. "Forgive me, Bonegrinder, but I am doing this for your own good." Black had suffered under illusions before and the only way to break free from them was... pain. So he stuck the tip of his blade into Bonegrinder's tail, earning a yowl from the Anagari.

Leere turned to see a white light shine down on a dark silhouette in the distance. It was a woman standing up, yet crooked in her posture. When she spoke Leere froze. ”My sweet little daughter... you shouldn’t have come here. You should have listened to your friends.”

Leere held her ground as a deathly version of Zelda walked toward her like a puppet on strings. Her eyes were gauged out, with bloody trailing down her cheeks like tears. It was sickening to see her mother used against her again. Especially now that Zelda had passed on. “Get out of my head. You aren’t my mother.”

“Why? Afraid you’re going insane? It’s ok. You’ll be dead soon enough you stupid girl.” The puppet suddenly ran at a frightening speed towards Leere. With no hesitation, she swung her blade to cut Zelda in half down the side. With her body splitting apart, the upper half of this sickening doppelganger of her mother leaped towards Leere, pinning her down. Zelda’s hands reached around Leere’s neck, squeezing tightly with rotting fingers. ”You’re a disappointment to the family. And none of them will see your body again. I should never have adopted you from that cage.”

Leere gasped as she was losing breath. Reaching to her side, she grasped at empty air until she found her knife. Turning purple in the face and her eyes growing bloodshot, she thrusted up in Zelda, stabbing the nightmare in the throat. Twisting the blade, she grabbed a lose hand up and snapped her neck. Gasping for breath and tearing up, Leere chocked on air as she kicked frantically to stand up.

However, her torment was far from over. The area exploded into a rush of yellow lighting, and the eerie cackles of children called out. Leere saw a large light in the shape of a door way. All around were tiny zombified children hissing and running at her from the dark. Every last one of them was a freakish version of her daughter Joy. Grabbing her scythe, and relying on instinct, Leere ran to the light. Everytime she was forced to cut down a version of Joy, a piercing taunt ran out in her head.

”Don’t you love me mommy?”

”Why did you never come back?”

”My mother didn’t love me enough to return.”

”You’re hurting me!” ”Die with me mommy!”

”It’s you’re fault we’re dead!”

With a frantic scream, Leere ran through the light. On the other side, she tripped and collapsed onto a clear floor all alone. Shuddering, she bit her lip hard to feel anything else other than fear. Rising up, she let out a roar so angry, so full of wrath, it’d shake the hearts of any who heard it. “I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!! YOU’LL PAY FOR TAUNTING ME!!!”

Leere wasn’t going to let these fuckers get away with torturing her and her friends anymore.

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626094887593443328/evils-bane-ch-7-entering-the-tower

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626630162211028992/evils-bane-ch-9-everyone-has-something-to-lose

[inactivvvee]

I finally finished making the first chapter! The book is called Bone Marrow by the way

This chapter contains: paranoia, and recalling traumatic events

The smell of coffee beans waffered through the air as the sun barely peeked through the city buildings. A medium sized lump on the old small bed stirred before a bony hand appeared from inside the cocoon. The hand grasped at the blanket, peeling it away from the body underneath. The skeleton sat up and dazedly stared at the wall before him. Sun rays peered through the dirty cracked window, old curtains fluttering lightly from the heater pumping warm air out below it. The walls were a light brown though the male was sure it had originally been a more cream color despite his landlord's protests. The floor above him creaked lightly as he could hear echoes of footsteps coming from upstairs.

The boney figure was still shaken up from the previous night. His leg unconsciously curled into his chest as he thought about it. He became slightly short of breath at the mere thought of everything. He was still shook, mostly from the fact that he wasn't killed but also the mere fact that something like this happened to someone like him. He wasn't anyone important, just a mere photographer who produced photos for the local newspaper and even got to write a few of the stories. He never wrote anything on the murders and stuck to the boring things that people tended to overlook. It was a sucky job but someone had to do it.

When the skeleton had gotten back to his place, he had immediately called the police. The police hadn't really belived him when he had said he witnessed a murder since the streets souronding that area were peaceful and only contained your average junkies and hooligan teens. But they proceeded with protocol and dispatched a police officer to go check the crime scene. When they had found the body an investigation was released almost immediately after seeing how the victim was murdered. The way the victim had died resembled the many others that fell victim to the 'Hound'.

The Hound was the newest serial killer in the state. They were named 'Hound' after the first few bodies were found with sharp almost canine like teeth marks littering their bodies. It wasn't released to the public yet if the cause of death was from the bite marks or the deep gashes done with a bowie knife. The police tried to keep the whole thing on the down low but a few reporters caught wind of it and jumped to give this new killer a name, which seemed to only fuel the wrath by said killer. The Bureau tried to disclose any other information so the media couldn't make a not on anything. It was an attempt to lure the killer out and make them act more recklessly. Which utterly failed.

The skeleton was brought in for questioning a few hours later but was released a little while after since it was nearing the two am mark. He would have to come back in the morning to finish up the questions before he was off the hook. His eyes turned to view the alarm clock on his nightstand, he gave a small sigh as it read six thirty-eight. He only had an hour or so before he would be asked to come down to the station. He wanted to succumb to escapism and hide away from this reality. Perhaps he could go back to sleep and would later awake to realize it was all just a bad dream.

A cold chill ran down his spine as his mind drifted back to the crime scene. Was the person he saw really the Hound? He casted a paranoid glance around the room as he reminded himself that he was safe, that he was in his own sanctuary and that the Hound couldn't harm him. They had dispatched a police officer to watch the skeleton's apartment in case he were to leave town or if the killer wanted to clean up. He didn't get to talk much with the police officer since he was too tired and frightened to strike up a conversation.

He turned his body and let his legs fall off the side of the bed as he stood up. He wore a slightly baggy shirt (everything was baggy on him since he was quite literally made up of bones) and a pair of navy sweatpants. He made his way to his small kitchen, his feet making slight clattering noises as they moved over the hardwood floor. He walked over to the wooden counter, already spotting the container of coffee grounds already out. He messed around in the kitchen for a little before finally starting his coffee. He tapped his finger on the counter as he thought the cop would appreciate a cup of coffee. He might already have a cup of coffee. The skeleton thought to himself as he let doubt worm its way in. He decided he would just keep to himself instead of going out of his way to talk to the officer. He felt more comfortable with that.

He turned his back to the coffee maker, trudging through the small kitchen towards the small living room. The lights were still off, the only light coming from the window by the small one-person table. He liked the lights being off, sometimes they were just too bright. He pulled himself over towards the window, moving the thin curtain to the side so he could peek outside. The sidewalks were that busied, seeing a pedestrian every now and then. Anyone of them could be the killer. Could be pretending just to be a normal citizen as they checked out his building so they could plot when and how they would get in to finish the job.

Suddenly he didn't really want to look outside anymore. He let the curtain go and watched it cut the image of the outside off from his line of sight. He stepped back, his fingers knitting themselves together. Fear settled itself deep within his bones again. He couldn't really remember all that had happened last night. When he explained that the officers down at the station they assumed it was his mind trying to protect him by locking up his memories. It's very common to those who experience something traumatic.

His hands slithered over one another, feeling the scrape marks that indented his palms from when he fell. That might've been the only thing that reminded him that what had happened wasn't just some nightmare. He turned his palms upwards as he peered down. His hands ached as he eyes the indentations. They would heal of course but he tended to get hurt quite a lot. A perfect example of that was when he had stubbed his toe last week on his bedpost and it ended up breaking. The hospital staff became very well acquainted with him since the time he's moved in

The sound of a knock brought the skeleton back from his mind. He turned his head towards the door, watching it intensely. Had the killer saw where he escaped to last night? How did they find his room? Did they see him from the window? His thoughts raced through his mind as adrenaline pumped into his veins. He fell into a cold sweet, his hearing zoning in and trying to make out any other sound from the other side of the door. Another knock ripped through the room, followed by a voice.

"It's the police!" The voice announced, a little muffled by the wooden door. The skeleton nervously took a step forward towards the door. After a second he began to take a few more quiet steps til he pressed his palms against the cold wood. He leaned his head forward, his 'heart' hammering against his ribs. He looked into the peephole. The man on the other side was fairly tall, dark toned skin- maybe a few shades darker than almond-, thick brown curls that hugged the bottom of his jawline and the sides of his face. The two important details he noticed were the police uniform and the two eyes that glanced from the door to each end of the hallway. The guy on the other side of the door wasn't the serial killer.

The skeleton released a shaky breath, leaning his forehead against the door for a second before pulling the door chain off the wall. He turned the second lock, here the soft click when he did so. His hand clamped around the cold metal doorknob, pulling the door up slowly. He peeked his head off to the side, still cautious of the other. His left palm was gripping the edge of the door as his right hand was still pressed up against the door. The male on the other side smiled once he noticed the door was opened.

"Howdy! I hope I didn't wake you up, I just wanted to check in" His voice was fruity, which calmed the skeletons jitters a little more. His eyes were perfect, they looked like warm caramel that commercials showed for caramel filled candy. A small black dot that you could easily overlook was settled in the lower part of his right eye. The edges of his lips tugged upwards as he gave a toothy grin. Four teeth on the top row were sharp. The cop in front of his door was a vampire.

Vampires weren't very known to be in law enforcement. They tended to stick to jobs in the medical section, better access to bagged blood- or fresh blood. The male stammered slightly as he realized he had just been staring at the cop instead of replying.

"Ah yea...I'm doing okay, thank you" His words came out taunt and meek. He cleared his throat lightly so the next time he spoke, it wouldn't be so quiet. His fingers on his right hand scratched at the door in slight embarrassment. The vampire gave a small nod at the reply. Before the vampire could reply, the skeleton added a little more. "I didn't...catch your name.." He began to worry half way through his sentence that it was a bad idea to ask for it. Though his doubts were eased when he saw the smile on the vampire grow a little.

"Aki, Aki Linscott" He proudly announced. He raised a brow and gave a small tilt to his head. "I never actually caught yours, sorry" He apologized lightly, his hands resting on his hips. The skeleton widened his eyes lightly as he realized he never actually gave his first AND last name to the officers down at the station. He had only given his first name since he was still a babbling mess. It was kind of embarrassing now that he though back on it.

"Oh it's Milo...Uh- Myrah- my last name is Myrah" He stammered to make his sentence clear. Aki reached his hand out towards Milo, his expression friendly and welcoming. Milo was still cautious of the other, his shoulders tensing up slightly at the action. He kinda reminded him of an overly excited dog that was meeting another of his kind at the dog park. It was kinda cute. His shoulders relaxed once again as the image of the dog popped into his head once again. He didn't really seem treacherous

"Well it's nice to meet you Milo!" He gushed, a little sparkle happening in his eyes. Everytime Aki spoke, he felt a little more comfortable. Milo reached his frail hand out and wrapped it around Aki's more muscular and warmer one. Both parties shook their hands slightly. Aki's grip was more profound while Milo's was weak and vulnerable. Milo could spot a few scars on the officer's arms, a few hard to see while others were bold. One scar traveled from the inside of his left forearm, traveling upwards under his sleeve. He became a little curious about the scar, did he get it on the job or maybe sometime before?

"Mhm...Same here"

Word count: 2k

[sendspoodsnotnoods]

Tarantula Care basics:

I've gotten tired of typing out "beginner tips" when people ask for them in Facebook groups, so I'm posting this as a resource to anyone who wants to get a tarantula but needs a place to start with researching. Please research elsewhere as well and be aware that there are many people who are successful at keeping tarantulas that may disagree on certain husbandry topics. This information is based off of the research I've done and how I care for my tarantulas. I may not be an expert with decades of experience, but I am a science minded individual who did a lot of research before getting my first tarantula and who has continued to learn each day I keep these beautiful animals as pets.

Temperatures-

No heat lamp, no heat pad. Fine at normal room temperature. If you're not cold neither is your tarantula. If your house is kinda cold get a space heater for the room you keep your tarantula in. Between 60-80F is fine for most tarantulas. Slightly below or slightly higher won't likely hurt them. If your house regularly goes below 60F then consider getting a space heater.

Enclosures-

Don't buy an enclosure until you know the size of the tarantula youre getting. You could be investing in a huge tank when all you're going to need for the next 5 years is a Tupperware or critter keeper. Give your tarantula at least 2x their legspan in all demensions of the enclosure. So a 2in. legspan tarantula needs at least a 4x4in enclosure minimum. Too large an enclosure may mean you struggle to find your tarantula or that your tarantula has a higher risk of falling and getting hurt. You can be generous with space without going overboard. For example a 3wx4Lx2h in. display case is a bit large for a 3/4 in. sling however it's much more appropriate than putting a tiny sling in a huge enclosure. Small slings are often kept in 4oz or 6oz deli cups and that is completely fine for a few months. Remember that you don't have to spend big bucks on glass enclosures. Often acrylic and plastic is more ideal for providing proper ventilation anyways. Explore stores like the Container Store for ideas. You can use anything from display cases to clear shoe boxes. Invest in a drill and get some 1/16th inch drill bits (that's what i use on sling enclosures, you can use a larger bit for bigger spiders).

You should know whether or not your tarantula is terrestrial (lives on or near the ground), arboreal (lives in trees), or fossorial (lives primarily underground). I won't discuss fossorials in depth in this post because I don't have any first hand experience, however the biggest difference between fossorial and terrestrial is you need to give them A LOT of substrate. Get them a tall enclosure and fill it most of the way with substrate. Most "beginner species" aren't fossorials so it's unlikely you'll be getting one soon unless you get an Aphomapelma seemanni. Tom Moran has a husbandry video on Aphonopelma seemanni if that's the species you're interested in getting.

Terrestrials should have at least enough substrate to burrow if they choose, so at least one leg span if possible. Do not give a terrestrial more than 2x their legspan between the surface of the substrate and the lid of their enclosure. They have very fragile abdomens and can die if they fall from even small heights. A terrestrial enclosure should be wider/longer than it is high.

Arboreals need an enclosure that is taller than it is wide. I like the AMAC boxes sold at the Container Store for slings, however other options include clear pill jars, plastic jars, and file boxes. Be creative. There are also glass exoterra enclosures that people like, however I personally don't like them because they don't give you enough cross ventilation and tarantulas can get their feet caught on the mesh/screen lids. I prefer something with cross ventilation (something where i can add a bunch of holes in the sides). Arboreals don't need that much substrate. Just provide enough to cover the bottom of the enclosure, help keep anything that you may place on the bottom of the enclosure in place, and absorb moisture.

Water and moisture-

You'll see some care sheets say that certain genera and species such as "Theraposa stirmi" (which I would not recommend for a beginner) need "high humidity". What they really need is wet substrate. "High humidity" species need their substrate to be soaked down more frequently or more generously. Many "beginner" terrestrial species are arid species (they live in drier climates). Nearly all Brachypelma, Grammostola, and Aphomapelma can be kept in the same type of enclosures. Give them dry substrate and a water dish, and overflow the dish a little when you fill it. Do not put rocks or a sponge in the dish. Tarantulas cannot drink from a sponge and rocks and gravel simply provide more surface area for mold to grow.

Small slings do not necessarily need a water dish. While they are small tarantulas lack the waxy curticle on their exoskeletons that keeps water in. Because they lack the cuticle they can get moisture from their substrate. Keep generally all terrestrial slings an moderately damp substrate and watch for mold growth.

Substrate-

There are a number of popular options including ecoearth (or another brand of coconut fiber substrate) and organic potting soil. Some people mix vermiculite in with their substrate but vermiculite shouldn't be used alone as a substrate. If you use potting soil ensure it's only soil and doesn't have added fertilizer or chemicals. Topsoil is heavy so doesnt need to be packed down. If you choose ecoearth or coconut fiber, it comes often in dense bricks. Add water to these bricks and pull them apart. You may need to do this ahead of time so you can let the coconut fiber dry off before you assemble the enclosure. Coconut fiber is loose and fluffy when you put it in the enclosure. Pat it down firmly with your hands otherwise the tarantula won't like walking on the substrate. Coconut fiber, topsoil, or specially designed tarantula substrates are all acceptable. Substrates NOT to use: sand, aquarium gravel, woodchips, mulch, pure vermiculite. The goal with a substrate is to provide a maxtrix that the tarantula won't mind walking on that will hold moisture and hold the shape of their burrows.

Tank accessories-

Hides- The most important accessory besides a water dish (which I recommend for all tarantulas besides tiny slings) for a terrestrial tarantula is a hide. This can be a plastic hide bought from a pet store, a piece of corkbark, flat or curved driftwood, a broken flower pot, or half a cup. Be creative. They can be as cheap as you want. Just be sure there aren't any super sharp edges. In a pinch you can make a hide from a plastic soda bottle. Cut out a portion of it and CAREFULLY use a lighter to curve the piece of plastic and melt the edges so that's theyre not sharp. I have used this technique a number of times. These hides then should be partially buried so that they are dark inside, but the opening is visible so they tarantula can use it as a starter burrow. Cork bark is very popular for hides and can be bought from a pet store or online. A variety of other hides can also be bought from pet stores. Anything that's half a cylinder and open on both sides will function well as a hide for your tarantula. A hide can be skipped with super small slings but should be provided once the enclosure is large enough. For slings I've used short parts of powdered drink tubes that I bury with one end exposed on the surface. You'd be amazed what junk you can cut up and use in an enclosure.

Tall anchor points- for arboreal tarantulas they need something that reaches close to the top of their enclosure so they have something that they can climb and use to anchor webbing. This can be a piece of corkbark on end, a pcv pipe, a log, silk plants, or anything! Corkbark and silk plants are the popular choices but you can use a 2x4 (nontreated wood) and paint sticks if you feel so inclined.

Low anchor points- all tarantulas can web, although some will do so more than others. A number of species, especially the popular "green bottle blue" are heavy webbers and should be provided with some anchor points even though they're terrestrial (even though some may argue sort of otherwise). These anchor points can simply be fake plants or something. Protip: fishtank plants are cheaper than terrarium plants and work just as well. Even cheaper are silk plants from craft stores. Just rinse and pat dry any tank accessories to remove dust from the store just in case. All tarantulas can benefit from some anchor points in their enclosures. Also adding a silk plant or two looks nice.

Food-

A tarantula can be fed practically any sort of feeder insect from meal worms to roaches to crickets. Meal worms, superworms, and dubia roaches will burrow if you let them, so before offering them to your tarantula you should pinch the feeder's head so that it is disabled but not entirely dead. Crickets are fine but can bite, so don't leave them unattended with a tarantula. Red runners (B. lateralis) are good but beware that they can infest your home if they escape, so use caution. Hornworms can make an occasional nutrional treat, however only use store bought worms. If hornworms have eaten tomato plants it can make them toxic to anything that eats them. On that note: NEVER feed wild caught prey of any kind. Wild caught feeders may carry parasites such as nematodes that can be passed to your tarantula and may eventually kill them. Purchase feeders from a pet store, online supplier, local breeders (some people will breed colonies of feeders), or from vendors at an expo.

Feed your tarantula a prey item around the size of their abdomen once every week or two if they will eat. If you don't have larger prey items you can feed them a couple at once. If they stop eating do not be alarmed, they might just be full, or they may be in premolt. Some species can fast for up to a year, so you tarantula is not going to die from self inflicted starvation. If it wants to eat it will. If it's not eating then remove the prey and try again in a week or two. If your tarantula is really fat, perhaps just wait to try feeding until it gets skinnier or molts.

Molting-

Tarantulas have an exoskeleton which does not grow with them. Because of that, like all arthropods they will molt, where they shed their old exoskeleton. They will likely stop eating. Premolt, or the period where they may stop eating and perhaps become more elusive or even close themselve off in their burrow, may last anywhere from a week to months, to a year in severe cases. Sometimes they will get duller in color during premolt, their abdomens may get black and shiny, and they may lose hair on their abdomens. If they refuse food and/or seal off the entrance to their burrrow, then leave them be, continue to fill their water dish, and wait to offer food again until they start wandering around their enclosure again.

When a tarantula molts it usually flips over on it's back. DO NOT TOUCH IT. They are very fragile during and after a molt. A molt can take anywhere from half an hour to 8 hours depending on the size of the tarantula. Do not intervene, just make sure they have water and leave them alone. After they have left their old exoskeleton they will be very vulnerable. The new exoskeleton is very soft and takes awhile to harden. Wait 1-2 weeks before you feed them. Best to go on the side of caution and wait 2 weeks if you're in doubt. What's important here is you wait until their new fangs have fully hardened and turned shiny and dark black. After 2 weeks it should be safe to feed. Remember, your tarantula is fine going awhile without eating, waiting an extra week or two isn't neglectful. Just keep its water dish filled and it will be ok.

Useful tools-

Feeding tongs: a must have. They can be purchased at a pet store or online. You'll need them for feeding and for removing things from the enclosure.

Paintbrush or makeup brush: a soft and clean paintbrush or makeup brush can be used to gently touch the back legs of a tarantula and coax it where you need it to go.

Plastic straw: just rinse and save one after a trip to a fast food place. Used for the same use as the paintbrush, but more useful if you have a tarantula that tries to bite (a plastic straw will not hurt their fangs if they bite it)

Wooden chopsticks: I don't see this on many lists but I've found chopsticks can be useful for pushing prey around if they're "playing dead" or for cleaning an enclosure (once again the wood is safer for fangs than metal tongs, however still attempt to avoid having your tarantula bite the chopsticks).

Plastic spoon: i guess it doesnt have to be plastic but thats what i use. Just keep one around. Its good for packing down substrate in enclosures that are too small to reach your hands into, and for digging starter burrows when assembling an enclosure.

Spray bottle: get a clean plastic water bottle for filling water dishes, misting, and wetting substrate. You can buy an empty spray bottle with an adjustable stream from Walmart for a dollar or two. Look near the household cleaning supplies.

Catch cups: collect a variety of clear or translucent plastic cups and bowls that you can poke air holes in. Always have a few catch cups and some flat pieces of cardboard that can cover them around when you open an enclosure. Should a tarantula escape, wait for it to stop moving, place the cup over it, and gently slide cardboard underneath. I bought a pack of clear solo cups a year ago and those are what I most commonly use. Empty containers from shredded cheese work well too and keep those lids in case you want to use them as sling enclosures later on.

Pocket knife: not everyone does this, but I have one old pocket knife that is my feeder insect knife. Sometimes you need to cut mealworms in half for smaller slings, that is the knife I use. Afterwards I wipe the blade off and close it and keep it with the rest of my tarantula tools.

You will discover what tools you find work for you after you have been caring for a tarantula for awhile. At the bare minimum get feeding tongs, a plastic straw, and some catch cups.

Conclusions, disclaimers, and further reading:

This guide is from my personal experience and research, however my opinions may vary from those of other keepers and hobbyists. This advice is based off of the care I provide for my tarantulas however you may find different care works better for you. I highly recommend you read through Tom Moran's beginner guides https://tomsbigspiders.com/beginner-guides/

Browse the forums on arachnoboards. There are many good youtube channels out there as well but some are more informative than others. I highly recommend Tom Moran for husbandry information. He may not be the most exciting and attention grabbing channel, but he has the most comprehensive and well phrased husbandry information than any other single person I've come across.

Each individual species is different and you should research the care and temperment of your particular species, but I encourage you not to trust traditional "care sheets" as many are misleading. I recommend using Tom Moran's content as a resource and asking questions on arachnoboards and other forums if you have further questions. Good luck and welcome to the hobby!

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Clover and Lace, Epilogue

Well, well, well. Here we are. And I didn’t kill anyone! Thank @winterisakiller for that, I assure you somehow she probably is responsible for the lack of deaths along the way. At the end of this, after the tag list you’ll find a summary for “The things you find in the rain” My next series, a Tom Hiddleston x Ofc RPF mini series.

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Epilogue: Three months later

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“Whoa, we got a knife block now? Fancy.” Bucky’s voice carried easily enough from the kitchen where he was doctoring his first cup of coffee for the morning.

“Rose brought it last night. Said she refused to use combat knives to make dinner anymore.” Their hearty laughs filled the apartment as Bucky came to sit on the coffee table with two mugs, offering one to Steve.

“Where is Rosemary anyway? Heard her last night and assumed she was staying the night?”

“Early morning meeting. She should be done in another two hours or so.”

“No wonder she crashed here last night. I’m surprised she hasn’t moved into the city yet. That drive’s gotta be killer.”

“Not too bad or so she says. But yeah, sucks for early meetings.”

“You know, we get along pretty well- me and your Little Spider.” Bucky was looking intently down at his coffee, small smile on his face. Steve was thankful every time he saw Bucky act so close to who he was before.

“I know you do. She like’s you a lot, Bucky. I’m glad you two are friends.” Something was coming, Steve could feel it. Bucky had been hinting at something for the last week. Steve was sure that Bucky was worried that he would be left behind, that Steve would move out and leave him behind. That simply was not going to happen.

“I’m just saying- don’t wait too long to move forward with her.” Bucky didn’t look up as he spoke.

“What do you mean? It’s only been a handful of months.” Steve was well and properly confused.

“I’m just saying, we eat best when she’s around feeding us.” Bucky joked and when their laughter died down he returned to his more serious mood.

With a careful smile, Bucky explained his thoughts slowly, watching Steve’s reactions to his words. Steve had to admit that his friend had valid points. His friend was right though, both their mothers would be turning over in their graves with Steve’s current arrangement and if he shared a home with her both. Again, Steve had to remind himself that it was a new time with new rules. Bucky’s idea at the very least was something to think about and as lunch approached, the idea grew on Steve.

-------------------------------------------

Standing outside the glass walls of the conference room, Steve watched her with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips even as he tried to school his face. Fury was able to work out an impressive deal for them. Both of the Ramsey twins were cleared of their crimes and Julian was in the process of transitioning his business to strictly legal avenues. Rosemary however had gone on to become a vital part of the operations quickly.

He was immensely proud of her. Even now, standing outside the room, watching her feed the agents information that they wouldn’t have had access to before. He knew she kept her web close and without her Shield would not be able to make it sing. They needed her and her ability to obtain information without raising any suspicions at all. Still her web wasn’t strictly legal and they all turned a blind eye to it. To require every transaction be detailed and explained would raise red flags and kill the web.

Steve didn’t know what the future held for them but he did know that he wanted to find out. Every moment he spent with her was a breath of fresh air. With her he found a joy and thirst for life he hadn’t had in a very long time.

Still he often worried about her. She was a target. As she became more and more valuable to Shield, the more people would consider eliminating her. Two hours away was too far. It would be better if she was closer. He could better protect her if she was closer. They could spend so much more time together if she was closer.

Again Bucky’s suggestion came to mind. Was it really alright?

The ping of his phone drew his attention from the redhead commanding a room full of agents. He was reluctant to look away from her. She was a vision with her messy red hair pulled back into a bun that did nothing to contain the curls and waves that framed her face.

The phone pinged again and he tore his eyes away from her. Two text messages came in from Agent Hill, likely at the direction of Director Fury. They were simple messages.

“Detective Mary O’Kelley has been apprehended.” The first message reads. “We’ve taken a hair sample. Please inform Rosemary that we can run a DNA test if she would like to determine relation at any time if she wishes.”

“Will do, thank you.” Steve responded only to have his phone chime again in his hand.

“Stop standing outside of conference rooms like a worried father.” Steve laughed. Of course Agent Hill and Fury would know he was here. Not much escaped them.

With the meeting finished, agents filed out of the room. Some made snide comments- someone always did. In a way, he couldn’t blame them. They had no reason to trust her. It wasn’t their lives she saved. Still, these newer agents should be thankful for the information she was able to provide them.

Somehow, the talk never seemed to bother her. She looked up from the file in her hands and when their eyes locked a radiant smile blossomed across her face. Wearing a simple black skirt, white blouse and black heels- she would look at place at any office in the city. Steve counted himself lucky that got to see her when she was in the offices but wished he could see more of her working in the middle of the night wearing an over sized shirt and comfortable shorts, legs folded under her as she sat on his bed.

“Hey.” Steve smiled as she made her way out of the room.

“I thought you were off today?” Rosemary asked as she leaned back against the glass wall.

“I am. I came to check on the team- make sure there wasn’t anything needing my immediate attention. Figured it was close enough to lunch time- maybe you’d like to get lunch?” It was cute how she still blushed talking to him.

“Steve, are you asking me on a lunch date?” She teased.

“Of course I am.”

“Lucky me.”

“I’m the lucky one.”

“Oh my god! Do you have to be so damn cheesy?” Sam barked from down the hall, wide smile on his face just the same. “How the hell did you find the one damn woman in the world that cheesy ass shit works on?”

--------------------------------

Steve’s hand held hers tightly as they walked down the hall toward the elevator. He was more subtended than she typically saw him and it was worrying. Was this the moment everything would finally crash down around around her?

These past three months had been as close to perfect as she had dared to dream. Sure, they didn’t get along every moment they were together. Often when they would bicker it would be over one of them taking unnecessary risks. Still what they had was more than she had ever dared to dream for. This life she had now, it was something she never thought she could have.

“Is everything okay?” Steve almost didn’t hear the her words, soft spoken as they were while the elevator doors closed behind them.

“Why wouldn’t it be? I get to have lunch with the most beautiful girl in New York.”

“You just seem… off, I guess.” Rosemary looked down at her feet, unsure if she was opening a can of worms that she would regret.

“Hey?” Firmly, he squeezed her hand in an attempt to draw her eyes to him. When that didn’t work he turned and stepped in front of her. The sheer size of him blocked her in the small space. Reaching out, he hooked a finger under her chin and pulled her gaze up to him even as he ducked down slightly, bringing himself closer to her level. “Look at me.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, not sure what she was apologizing for.

“I’m good. You’re good. We’re good, aren’t we?” Only when she nods does he continue. “I’m happy- happier than I have been in a very long time. It’s because of you, Rosemary.”

It was rare that he called her Rosemary and she smiled every time he did. It was a soft reminder that he saw her, he knew her for who she was. “I am too, Steve. I really am.”

“Good. Then we have nothing to worry about.” Steve didn’t let her protest or give her a chance to worry as he closed the little distance between them with a tender kiss. The elevator came to a halt as they reached the second floor.

Taking her hand in his, he pulled her out into the large room. The best way to feed agents was with a cafeteria and Shield had their own. Most days the food was decent enough. Mondays were questionable however. The running theory was that the staff resenting having to start another week of work and thus was trying to poison everyone every Monday.

By the taste of the food, Steve couldn’t say for sure that they were wrong.

While they waited their turn for the food- both thankful that it was not Monday- Steve held her hand. It was surprising for Rosemary. He wasn’t one for public affection often and even more so within the confines of Shield Headquarters.

The trend continued as they ate. Somehow, he was always touching her. Impossibly long legs had his foot brushing up against her calf under the table, his hand sought hers out repeatedly. With plates empty, Steve decided now was the time.

“Rosemary.” When she smiled up at him, he chickened out. “They caught Mary. Fury’s going to see to it she’s put away for the rest of her life. You’re safe now.” Coward. Coward. Coward.

“Safe from her at least.” Yet there was still warmth in her smile as she reminded him of the truth. Sometimes it was hard for him to remember that she still had many enemies.

“They took DNA samples as they processed her into custody.” Both his hands came to cover hers in a show of support that she really didn’t need. “If you wanted to know, to find out for sure…”

“If she’s really my sister?” The idea was something she and Julian had grappled with. If it was true, she was the reason their father killed their mother and their admittedly already poor home life spiraled into something so dark. “I want to know. I think I need to know.”

“I’ll let Tony know to run the test.” One of Steve’s hands left hers as he pulled his phone out and typed the message.

“Not Shield?” With her head cocked, Rosemary tried to understand why Shield wouldn’t be the one to run the test.

“I would feel better if Tony did it himself.” Steve shrugged and Rosemary had to admit that if she had to hear she was related to yet another monster she would rather it came from someone who had quickly become a friend.

The phone on the table chirped and Steve informed her that Tony would text her with the results within the hour.

“Regardless of what the results say, you’re still the same person.” It always amazed her how well Steve could read her. It was like for him, she was an open book. Someone saw her. Finally, someone would remember her.

After killing as much time as they could, Steve cleared the table. She Smiled as he put up their trays. It was one of the many small things he insisted on doing for her.

She had been so very lucky to have him stumble into the art show that Mrs. Jones had forced her to put on all those months ago. Now she was even more lucky that after everything, after all her secrets had come to light this amazing man was still smiling at her from across rooms room.

“You don’t have anymore meetings today, right?” Weaving his fingers between hers, Steve brought her hand up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back.

“Free and clear.” Standing, she allowed him to lead her toward the elevator again.

“Let’s get out of here. Go home. Bucky got a new movie he wanted to watch.”

“He won’t mind me tagging along?” It was a question she asked him often. It was never her intention to come between the friends or to force her presence on Bucky, though she liked him and even considered him a friend. Still, it was hard to tell how he felt about her.

“He likes you.” Steve laughed. They’d been over this before. “He adores you.”

In the privacy of the elevator once again, Steve wasted no time in pulling her into his chest. Strong arms wrapped around her waist while she rested her head against his chest. With her arms around his back, Rosemary listened to the steady thump of his heart. She only moved when the sound of a hammer striking metal filled the small space signalizing a text received from Tony.

“Well?” Steve asked as she gazed down at the screen.

“Not related.” The news was shocking to her.

“Are you happy?” The lack of a response worried him.

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I guess? I don’t feel any sort of way about it. I didn’t expect that.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay to not care.” Steve wrapped her tighter in his arms. “She doesn’t matter. She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I’m relieved.” Rosemary admitted, leaning into his chest until the elevator doors slid opened on the basement carport. “I think… I think if it came back and said she was really my sister I would have felt… I don’t know.”

“Obligated to help her?”/ Steve offered as he gave her hand a squeeze again. She smiled at what had become his way of reminding her that he was there, right there with her.

“Yeah. That’s dumb, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so. It would make her family- at least by blood. That’s all you’ve had for so long. It makes sense that you would feel like you had to. But she’s not and you don’t owe her anything.”

“You’re too good to me.” A smile graced her face and Steve thought of how lucky he was to find a small art show four months ago in a tiny town outside of the city.

“I’ll meet you at your apartment, then?” Leaning against the side of her blue car, Rosemary fiddled with her keys.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something first.” Steve took a deep breath and suddenly looked everywhere but at her. When the ground and ceiling grew dull, he examined his hands.

“This isn’t how I dreamed of getting proposed to.” Rosemary laughed forcefully, trying to lighten the air with a joke about what clearly wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t do that. Not in a carport at work. Not after four months. Would he?

“Oh! No! No, that’s not what- I mean, I care for you a lot. I love you but that’s just- that’s a big thing and-”

“Steve.” Rosemary tried to school the worry in her voice as she leaned forward, resting a hand on Steve’s arm. “I’m only teasing you. You’re worrying me.”

“I’m sorry. Forget it. Let’s go home?” Steve still wouldn’t look at her.

“No.” That made him look at her, finally.

“No?”

“No. Whatever it is, if you’re in knots over it you need to tell me. We said no more secrets, remember?” Guilt washed over him.

It always amazed her how hard he was, how well he schooled his expressions when working. That wasn’t the Steve she knew. Her Steve was this man in front of her, this man she had grown to love so quickly was expressive and easy to read.

Steve closed his eyes and his shoulders sagged. His whole body seemed to inflate and deflate with each deep breath he took as he tried to calm himself. Whatever he was preparing himself for, Rosemary hoped it wasn’t something that would hurt her.

“Rosemary…” When he opened his eyes, he saw worry swimming in her own. She had her lip trapped between her teeth and this time he knew he was the cause of it without any doubt.

“What?” There was a whimper in her voice and he would have given anything to turn back time and start this conversation over again. He really managed to muck this up and yet he knew absolutely no one would be surprised about it.

“Move in with me.” The words came fast, each running over the other.

“Move in with you?” Surely she had heard him wrong but he nodded. “What about Bucky? I don’t want to displace him or make him uncomfortable. I’d hate for him to think I was taking over or-”

“It was his idea.”

“Oh. You didn’t have to ask just because he-”

“No!” Steve almost barked the word, it came so rushed and loud. His hands raked through his hair as he turned from her, taking a step away only to turn back and fiercely kiss her. The force pushed her back and he had her pinned against the side of her car, not that she was complaining. The kiss ended just as suddenly as it began however he didn’t move away.

“I was scared to even think about it. I was scared I couldn’t have that.” He admitted and she understood that feeling all too well. It was one she often had herself, even now. Everything she had right now felt far too good to be true. “Bucky had to remind me that we’re not still in the 40’s. He also made a point to remind me that we both eat best when you’re over.”

“So he wants me to move in and feed him?” A small giggle slipped out of her as her hands relaxed against his chest, taking in the feeling of the worn white tee shirt and warmth that radiated off him. That did sound just like Bucky.

“Maybe.” Steve seemed to relax as his own laugh joined hers. “But it got me thinking. I stood there, watching you command the agent’s attention and I was so proud of you. Proud that you’re mine. I love waking up next to you every single morning I’m blessed to. I love coming in from my runs and seeing you. I love falling asleep with you in my arms. I love you.”

“I love you too, Steve.” The warmth in his smile could make anyone forget the flustered mess the man had just been.

“I want to have that every day. And Bucky thinks it would be great to have you with us. So, will you?”

“Steve-”

“Shit. I know, you probably need time to think. I shouldn’t- Sorry. I shouldn’t put you on the spot like this. You don’t have to answer right now. Take time, think about it, okay? The offer is always open.”

“Steve.” His jaw slammed shut. He was rambling and he knew it.  

Both arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled herself flush against him. Instinctively, his hands fell to her waist as she rose up onto her toes. Softly she pressed her lips against his. With a sigh, the tension seemed to melt off of him.

“Okay. If you sure- okay. I’ll do it. I’ll move in.” Steve lifted her off her feet and spun her around. When he set her on her feet again, his lips met hers in a kiss that left her light headed and gasping for air.

Rosemary couldn’t say that the life she had was a dream come true. It was something she had never dared to dream of. It had been such a large risk when she decided against blocking his number that first night. It took her going against everything she had ever known to give him a chance and now she was so very thankful that some some small part of her refused to let him go.

Finally, she had a taste of love. It was fierce and passionate. It was warm and comforting. It was the light in the darkness. She didn’t know it at the time but love was Steve Rogers smiling at her from across a crowded cafe in a small town.

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 The Things You Find in the Rain

Maggie and Evan had just married and were honeymooning in London. He was a difficult man but Maggie was a kind and forgiving soul. She loved him with all she was and when that is thrown away, not even 72 hours after they said their ‘I Do’s, what’s a girl to do? Except perhaps hit up ever bar her feet can take her to while the night sky opens up above her. 

When Tom’s out walking Bobby in the rain, he’s thankful. It’s true that beast will come into the house muddy and wet. He’ll even likely make a mess. But in the rain, even fewer were out this time of night and he was allowed the simple peace of walking around the park like any other man. In the rain no one expected him to take pictures with them. No one expected him to sign anything. In the rain, no one expected anything of him. 

This story has a long lead up to Tom’s involvement. Like most of my stories, it is the OC’s story and sometimes it takes us a bit to make it to our muse. I hope you fall in love with Maggie while she’s on her journey to meet Tom. Let me know if you want tagged in this or any other future works <3

[foryouallforyou]

The Pearl

For 6 years, I was mad. 

Unknown to myself mad. A mad that altered my eyesight and affected my memory. Like a lobster in a pot, the mad had warmed up around me while I had a bath. I was boiling red by the end. Thermidor Mad my wife would have said.

But I was not mad at first. 

At first, when the wave came, I was filled with love. I was abundant. I overflowed. All that surplus love was returned to me and there wasn't rooms to contain it inside the small change purse of my body. I would have needed 100 storage facilities to hold it and I could not afford the rent. It poured out of my eyes, my nose and the old piercing in the top of my ear. The ground I spilled my love upon flowered around me. Weeds which didn't need the encouragement bloomed where I stood. I emitted the love I used to keep in her in strong pulses like our dead dog's special collar which we forgot to take off when we buried her and depleted the local worm population for a few weeks afterward. 

The love stank of flowers and bread and bits of childhood and lasagne and play doh and sugar and fires and wool. Good and Bad tasted it on the wind. Light flew in my face windows and dark came crawling towards my ears. I couldn't stuff the love back inside myself. Much as I tried, my chest rejected all attempts to receive it with the same vehemence as a cat being wormed. Inside was more than a void. It was active. Deep as Vantablack but darker. 

You see, I was scared of seeing my love lying out there on the grass with nowhere to go. But that fear made me angry with my love for causing it. When it arrived up from my throat, I bit down and tossed it away. I gritted my teeth against it. Over time all the grit in my teeth grew hard and gathered and all the words I swallowed made a cold pearl grow silent in my throat. Perfect and smooth like a long licked gobstopper. It sat smug and smothering and stopped the feelings rising up and escaping and words which needed to be said from being spoken. It blocked impassively and it was perfect to behold.But I couldn't see it.

Looking about me some months after, at all the love hanging out windows like old washing, dragging in the dirt behind me like a tail and stinking up the place in general, forced me to do some cleaning. I wanted somewhere to put all my surplus love. I didn't want to look at it out there in the open, stinking away because looking at it would mean where it used to be was gone. I did not like knowing this. I believe not liking knowing things is where my memory started to cloud over. Because if you do not want to know something as basic as 2-1=1 remaining, you will stop knowing other things like how your car works, the capital of certain countries and where the hashtag is on a mac. These things will leave you as well. 

Sly, desperate cuckoo, you will come to notice that a certain type of person is a great place to hide your rotting love. The nest for your egg will need to be unaware and selfish and wanting. The more needy the better. They will have many empty rooms. You will not care about the long term consequences - speed is of the essence. You will move it in quietly and neatly, boxes stored in the attics of their house. You will pretend you are fixing the roof. You will say nothing of the contents of those boxes. When you come down from the attic you are restored. You are a hero again. The rest of the house is full of light and noise and clatter. You cannot hear them waiting in the huge dark. 

The pearl sat pretty in my throat. It blocked the fear but it also blocked other things which should have been said. I became proficient at shaving and crying from one single eye for a allotted time and moving on with my day. I could easily email clients at the bank whilst sitting in my underwear in the dark if I needed to. Laughs became barks. I lived a thin life. The pearl sat cold and smooth. Fresh healing words died from the lack of oxygen. The only thing that could fit through was thin simple emotions. Like anger. 

I started small.

I started by being mad at noises. I took sirens personally. And beeps. A rush of emotion would appear, the pearl would block, and a thin trickle of anger would slide out instead of the wall of grief. The relief was pleasant. Like a snack. I went back for more. I got mad at more things. Human greed. Pollution. Layouts of cities. Traffic. The car seat. I aimed my anger at strangers shopping in big stores. I aimed it at stores. People I didn't know. The country I lived in. Waste. Hunger. Big Pharma. Trump. Huge big topics which could take my rage. A nice easy, relatable mad. Mad that other people could get on board with. Mad you could have in the pub with mates. Mad people liked. 

But my anger could not be contained so neatly for long. My vision narrowed. The lack of oxygen diminished how I saw the world. I couldn't see that my rage was almost identical in scale to my love. And all the while the rent on the place I had hidden my love began to increase. I didn't even notice. I was short sighted in my anger and missed the obvious. Whilst the landlord kept me busy with all kinds of tasks, they had started to sell up the empty rooms. Soon my boxes would have nowhere to go. My anger condensed behind the pearl and with it the intensity. I was mad at my loved ones, and mad at the dog and mad at kids crying and mad at death. I was mad at my friends who had a good time and mad at myself for not having a good time. I was mad at my car, my job, my skin, other men, other women, the wind and the man who wouldn't let me on the train. I was getting up early in the morning just to be mad longer in the day. I was so mad my skin peeled off. I became fat then slim. I pushed myself out to sea in a boat and sailed on a sea of rage until one day I saw it around me and realised. I was just mad because it was easier than being sad.

One day the house I had stored the boxes in was sold. The boxes were all back out on the lawn and the birds were standing on them and drinking in the smell of all the love. A few weasels had got in the sides of the cardboard and love was seeping out again. The attics where the love had lain were teaming with wildlife. Whilst the house itself was empty, the attics were strewn with flowers, foxes and a nest of rats. The house owner made a note to call a rat catcher. They didn't recognise love when they saw it.

Quickly I gathered them all up and shoved them on my back in a huge pack and ran. Where I went, the size and shape of me gave the animals in the fields a start. My shadow was frankly ridiculous. The jolt of moving dislodged some of the pearl. Some things came out. But my vision was still messy. When the wave retreated and the years rolled on, I finally stopped moving. I found an empty house. I put down the boxes and gave them space in the house. I gave them soil. I lay on the ground and retched for a month and finally brought up the pearl. I made it into a ring at a creative course for grieving husbands.

She would have liked that. 

[alltimewhat]

ABCs of Death

I THINK this is the longest one out of all of them, but I’m not 100% sure. this one took a while to write bc i kept wanting to add more and more lmaoooo

also as they might be giants say: can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding

D contains: BLOOD, GORE, BODY HORROR, GENERAL HORROR, and DEATH

CHARACTER(S) THAT DIE IN THIS FIC: mike

A/B/C/D/E/F/G

D is for Demon

“This is a horrible idea. Why am I letting you convince me to do this?” Mike said, his voice wavering.

“Would you shut the hell up already? We’ve been standing here for, like, five minutes because you’re too much of a baby to go inside!” Lucas said. His head was already beginning to ache from Mike’s non-stop, panicked rambling. Mike opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it closed again.

Mike looked up at the building in front of them one more time, anxiety filling his guts like worms, squirming and writhing around and making him feel like he was going to puke. The building was massive, an old victorian-style brick house, with ornate features and decorative trim seeming to cover every surface of its exterior. It was beautiful, but its beauty was marred by the thick black layer of soot caked onto the bricks and the shattered windows. The lawn was overgrowing and the house gave off an energy that Mike could only describe as evil. 

He really didn’t want to go inside. 

“I-I’m just saying, I really don’t think this is safe, plus I’m- I’m getting this vibe, you- you know?” Mike rambled as they walked inside, looking around frantically.

“Listen. If there is something in here, you’re only attracting it to us by talking so much. Even then, this house has been like this for years, there’s no way anybody is still living here.” Lucas said, glancing over at Mike. The other man was tucked into himself, clutching his flashlight like it was his lifeline, his eyes wide and terrified. He nodded weakly at Lucas’ words, and his posture relaxed slightly.

“Y-yeah. Probably not. Why’d- Why did you even want to come in here?” Mike asked, beginning to peer into the other rooms from the foyer. Lucas could see him shaking.

“I just wanted to check it out. I’d heard a lot about this house, mainly that nobody knows what started the fire that burned it down, and nobody’s even tried to visit it since it did burn down.” 

While it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t quite the truth, either. There were mysterious circumstances surrounding the building, but the real reason Lucas wanted to visit was because he’d heard stories of people seeing a kid living in the house, and those who saw him said they had felt a sense of evil coming off of him, like he was some evil spirit or demon or something. Lucas wanted to see if the kid was real, so he brought Mike to the house with him. He thought his friend would be a little more open to the idea than he was.

“Great. It’s great. That’s great!” Mike muttered, wandering through the rooms, shining his flashlight on old furniture that was blackened and melted. The wind whistled through the cracked windows, giving an eerie kind of soundtrack as they wandered through the rooms. 

The floor level of the house was empty other than burned and blackened furniture, so they met at the base of the stairs, staring up at the landing on the second floor.

“After you, sir.” Mike said, gesturing up the stairs. Lucas rolled his eyes, cautiously taking a step onto the lowest stair, pressing his weight on it to make sure it wouldn’t break. Slowly, he ascended the stairs, wincing every time they creaked or crackled underneath him.

About halfway up, he heard something scurry across the floorboards on the second floor. Whatever it was, it was too big to be a rat, but too small to be a person of their age. A ball of anxiety began to form in Lucas’ stomach. Did he really want to do this?

“What was that?” Mike’s voice came from behind him, high and shaking.

“I- I don’t know. Probably a raccoon. Didn’t sound big enough to be a person.” Lucas said. He continued to make his way upstairs, peering down the hallway once he had reached the top, able to see movement near one of the rooms at the end of the hall. Sucking in a breath, Lucas shone his flashlight on the thing, bracing himself. The moment the light passed over it, it panicked, bolting in their direction. Lucas shrieked, expecting to get his face ripped off by some vengeful demon child.

A raccoon bolted past him and Mike on the stairs, scurrying down the stairs and running out of sight down on the first floor. Lucas laughed airily, looking at a confused and panicked Mike.

“Jesus, man, don’t scare me like that!” He hissed, climbing up next to Lucas on the second floor. 

“Sorry, I just- I thought it was.. Something else.” Lucas said, making his way down the second floor hallway and shining his light into the rooms.

“Did you expect something else to be living here?” Mike asked from the opposite end of the hall, his flashlight pointed cautiously into a closet.

“N-no. Not really.” Lucas lied, biting his lip. He pushed the last door on his end of the hallway open, taking a step back as he shone his light over everything.

It was a child’s room, seemingly untouched by the fire that had ravaged the rest of the building. There was an old rocking chair in the corner, and a tiny bed that was fit for a child of barely ten years old. There were stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes scattered about the room, and, worst of all, there was a tiny child jammed behind the bed, clutching a ratty old toy lion to his chest. His eyes were dark and wild and he appeared to have been living there for a while. Lucas opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again.

“Mike? Can you come down here?” He said, keeping his eyes locked on the kid. At the sound of Lucas’ voice, he winced, pressing himself further into the wall. 

Mike appeared at Lucas’ side, looking into the room with the eyes of someone who doesn’t want to watch a horror movie but can’t look away. His face paled at the sight of the child.

“Is- is that a kid?” He asked, stepping into the room.

“Mike, wait-!” Lucas tried to grab Mike’s shirt, but before he could pull Mike away, the light in the ceiling of the room flickered to life. The boy hidden behind the bed shuffled closer to him, his eyes wary and scared.

“Lucas, it’s just a kid! He can’t do anything.” Mike said, grinning lopsidedly at Lucas.

Lucas swallowed thickly, watching as Mike inched closer to the child on the floor, crouching low to appear less threatening. The boy watched him closely, dark eyes narrowed in fear. Mike held out one of his hands.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay. Do you wanna come with us? We won’t hurt you.” Mike murmured. The boy looked at his hand with distrust for a moment. Lucas licked his lips. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything or not. The kid looked normal, but his room was entirely clean, and nothing in it (except maybe the stuffed lion in his grip) had any soot or signs of fire whatsoever. Mike moved a bit closer, and Lucas saw the boy shift his weight almost imperceptibly.

“Mike, be careful-” He started. Mike looked at him with confusion for a moment, before the boy placed his tiny hand in the center of Mike’s palm.

The moment they came into contact with each other, Mike felt a wash of goosebumps flood through his whole body. It felt as if static electricity had run through him like a circuit, standing every one of his hairs on end. 

Then came the pain. Sharp, burning pain exploded through him like somebody was sticking needles into every one of his pores, followed by an almost unbearable heat. Images flashed in his mind, too fast to see, but he could feel them. Each one sent a high buzz through his nerves, striking his fight or flight reflex like a tuning fork. 

Scrambling back from the boy, Mike screamed, kicking his legs fruitlessly as he tried to get away. He could see the kid grinning at him, and suddenly he heard it. The boy’s voice, soft and high and perfectly clear (he wasn’t moving his mouth how could mike hear it he wasn’t speaking his lips weren’t moving).

Hello, Michael. It’s nice to meet you. My name’s Will. The boy said in Mike’s head, and he screamed again, scrambling to his feet. Tears were streaming down his face and he turned to Lucas, who was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Where did he go?” Lucas asked, his voice shaking. Mike whipped around, but the boy- Will, his name was Will -was still there. Mike pointed with a shaking hand at Will, looking back at Lucas’ confused expression. The boy was grinning at Mike with a smile that reminded him of the cheshire cat, wide and full of too many pointed teeth.

“H-he’s right th-there, c- can’t you see him?” Mike asked desperately. He heard Will shift behind him, and he whirled around again. Will was behind him, one tiny hand outstretched for Mike to take.

“No. H-he disappeared when you- you touched him.” Lucas said. Mike felt a cold dread slide down his throat. He looked to Will, who was waiting for Mike to take his hand, looking so tiny and innocent with the toy lion in his arms. He frowned, an impatient expression flickering across his face.

“H-h-he’s right there, he- he- spoke to m-me, I- I heard him L-Lucas, I heard h-him.” Mike sobbed, terrified of the tiny creature behind him. He felt Lucas’ hands on his face, cool against his hot, blotchy skin. 

“H-hey, Mike, it’s- it’s okay. You’ll b-be okay. Let’s- let’s go home, okay?” Lucas said. Mike nodded, tears streaming down his face. He turned to look at Will again, but Lucas pulled his head back.

“Don’t look at him! It’ll only make it worse. Look at me, Mike. Look at me.” Lucas said, gently leading Mike out of the room. He kept Mike facing forwards, pulling him along.

A tiny hand gripped Mike’s fingers.

He screamed, jolting away from Lucas and turning to face the creature that was attached to him. Will was grinning at him, his hand still wrapped around Mike’s fingers. His eyes were a dark red color. A whimper escaped through Mike’s teeth.

“Please, w-what do you want?” Mike asked, his lip quivering.

I just want to be friends with you, is that so bad? Will’s voice filled Mike’s head. Mike shook his head, ever-so-slightly, and Will’s grin widened. 

“Mike? W-what did he say?” Lucas’s voice echoed down the hall, sounding far away.

“He- He wants to be f-friends.” Mike said. He looked down to see if Will’s expression had changed, but the boy was gone. His stuffed lion was lying on the floorboards.

“He’s gone. He’s gone- Lucas- we need to leave-!” Mike shrieked, skittering towards the stairs, away from the plush animal. Lucas joined him, grabbing his wrist to soothe him and trying to calm him down as he led Mike downstairs. 

“It’s okay, Mike. You’re okay.” Lucas murmured softly, leading him back to the car and ushering Mike into the passenger’s seat. Mike was shaking violently, muttering things under his breath. Wide paranoid eyes flicked back and forth from the house to the windshield, his breathing raspy and sharp.

Lucas drove Mike back to campus silently, a knot of guilt stuck in his throat and his stomach. Mike was curled in a lanky ball in his chair, wrapped awkwardly around his seatbelt with his feet pressed against the glovebox, his dark eyes staring ahead at nothing. Lucas could hear his breathing, quick and shallow. That was his fault. If he had just told Mike about the demon in the house, none of this would have happened. 

He pulled into the parking lot in front of their dorm building, walking around the front of the car and helping Mike out of his seat. He led Mike by the arm up to his dorm (he lived there alone would he be okay what if the demon tried to get him) and let him crawl into bed, too close to catatonic for Lucas’ liking.

“Goodnight, Mike.” Lucas said, turning the light out as he stood in the doorway. He heard Mike shift behind him.

“Can we look him up tomorrow?” his voice came from behind Lucas, soft, tentative. “I want to know about him.” 

Lucas turned. Mike was watching him closely, dark eyes narrowed in the dim room.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can.” Lucas said. He turned from Mike and left, allowing Mike to go to sleep. He wasn’t sure he wanted to research Will. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it.

-

“Here it is, Mike.” Lucas said, producing an old newspaper. On the front, there was the headline ‘BYERS’ MANOR GOES UP IN FLAMES; BODIES DISAPPEARED’, in a thick, almost mocking print. The pictures on the front were of the house in flames and of the family that lived inside. Sure enough, Will was pictured on the front of the paper, that same lion toy in his hands. He was grinning at the camera. He looked young, innocent. happy. Mike swallowed thickly. He hadn’t seen Will since the night before, but he’d felt something when he was in bed. Something heavy on his consciousness, like something was living in there. 

“‘Says nobody knows what started the fire. ‘There appeared to be no damage to any of the interior workings of the mansion, and there were no stray matches or cigarettes that could have started the blaze.’” Lucas read. He dropped the paper on the table so Mike could look at it, though he wasn’t sure he wanted Mike to see more of the child. He was curled up in his chair similar to how he’d been in the car, all 6-and-a-half feet of him tied up in a lanky knot as he reached over to pull the paper closer to him.

Mike didn’t pick up the paper, instead staring at the picture of Will on the front of it. He looked so innocent and sweet, but memories of the feeling he’d sent through Mike’s body flashed through his mind, forcing him to read the article.

The article said that Will and his family had been living in the manor for generations, and that he’d never really gone outside. Some sources, according to the paper, claimed that he had started the fire somehow, removing the evidence before anyone could find out and locking himself inside. Mike didn’t believe it. Frowning, he glanced at the picture of the burning house again. Flames leapt around the solid brick walls and poured from the windows. Mike felt sick looking at it.

And then it moved. The pictured moved, the flames suddenly springing to life, licking up the sides of the house and flickering back and forth. Mike watched in silent horror as the flames engulfed more and more of the house. The newspaper began to flutter on the table as if air were blowing underneath it. Mike straightened out, his heart beginning to thump in his chest. The paper flapped some more, and Mike realized the picture of Will with his family had changed. Instead of him posing with his mom and brother, grinning happily, he was alone, clutching the lion toy in fear. He looked at Mike (he was looking at mike he was looking at mike he could see him oh god), and began to cry, reaching out for Mike to help him. Mike sat up in his chair, scooting away from the newspaper.

A melted, skeletal hand reached from the image, it’s clawed fingers grasping for something. Mike shrieked, scrambling away from the paper. He knocked his chair over as he stood, pain zinging through where it had hit his calves.

The hand continued to reach blindly for something to grab onto, gripping the edge of the table and pulling itself upwards. An equally scorched arm followed, and then a head. Mike could only watch in silent horror as the melted, twisted corpse of Will Byers crawled from the paper, his face contorted in pain. High, whistling breaths emanated from him every few seconds. He pulled himself forwards onto the table, his skin melted and torn off across his chest and face, exposing the bone and muscle underneath. Mike screamed, tripping over his chair in an attempt to get away from Will’s melted body as it dragged itself closer to him. It pulled itself out of the paper and reached out for Mike, a high scream piercing through his brain. Its fingers found the front of his shirt and it grabbed him, pulling itself closer to him. He pulled at its wrists in an attempt to get it off him, tears beginning to stream down his face.

It opened its mouth, and blood poured out, dripping to the floor and all over Mike’s chest and oh god it was hot he could feel it burning his skin.

Mike sobbed as he tried to push the thing off, its melted fingers scrabbling at him and pulling him back towards the paper.

“Mike!” Lucas’ voice broke through the sound of the burnt corpse’s wails and whistling breath, and suddenly he could feel Lucas’ hands on his shoulders and somebody was helping him stand. There was still blood on his shirt and the corpse was still there, but it fell to the ground. Mike couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

It began to change, its skin smoothing out and becoming clean again, its clothes restoring themselves, and worst of all, two red, curved horns forming on either side of its head, ram-like and wicked looking. Mike’s breathing shallowed as the demon got to his feet, a grin on his face. The lion was in his hands and Mike could feel the heat emanating off of him. Before Mike could speak, Will was gone in a flash of flames and red light, leaving him huffing in the back room of the library, Lucas’ hands on his shoulders.

“Mike, what the hell was that?!” Lucas asked. Mike opened his mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a high sob, followed by more and more. He crumpled at Lucas’ feet, images of the melted corpse flickering through his mind.

He could feel hands under his arms tugging him to his feet, trying to stand him up.

“Mike, what happened?” Lucas asked. Mike shook his head, his sobs slowly quieting.

“It- it was him- it was Will- he- he was all burnt and he was screaming- he was screaming and it was so loud and he spit blood all over me and- a-and-” Mike took a breath, but then broke down again, sobbing as he leaned against Lucas.

“Woah, woah, take it easy. You wanna go lay down back in your room?” Lucas asked, trying to get Mike to look at him. Mike sniffled once, straightened himself out, and shook his head.

“N-no, no. I- I’m gonna go study, I h-have an anatomy test t-tomorrow.” Mike said, his voice still wavering. Lucas nodded slowly, releasing Mike’s arms so the taller man could gather his things and leave.

Mike shakily grabbed his bag off of the floor and dragged himself into the main room of the library, slinking to a table in the back corner of the room. SIghing, he shook the image of the burnt corpse out of his head and forced himself to study. He dropped his anatomy textbook on the table with a massive thump, pulling it open lazily and flipping to the page his worksheet was on. He realized he forgot a pencil and swore, leaning down to retrieve one from his bag.

Straightening back out, he pulled his book closer to him to begin studying. He felt something watching him, and he looked up.

The toy lion was on the table. 

Mike hissed, pushing the thing away from him and watching it topple off the table to the floor. Narrowing his eyes, he looked for any sign of the demon. Not seeing anything he returned his attention to the book.

About halfway through his studying session, the book began to make noise. It was a deep, quiet gurgling, like the sound of a bathtub draining. Frowning, Mike leaned closer. There was definitely some sound coming from the crease in the center of the book, but nothing visible was happening. Frowning, Mike leaned away from the book again. 

A tiny bubble of blood grew from the crease of the book, ballooning outwards until it was the size of a golf ball. Mike watched it silently, a growing sense of dread filling his stomach. The first bubble popped, spraying blood all over the table in tiny droplets. 

More bubbles followed that one, each one exploding in little fountains of blood. Mike inhaled sharply as blood began to rise higher and higher from the center of the book, bubbling and gurgling as it soaked into the pages and pooled out onto the table. Mike watched it with growing horror, his windpipe tightening to a pinhole in his throat, making it difficult to breathe. One of the bubbles of blood exploded in fat, hot droplets across Mike’s face and he had to resist the urge to scream. Looking around him, he could tell no one else in the library could see the blood. Panicking, Mike slammed the book closed, ignoring the way the blood felt on his hands, hot and thick and dripping down his arms. He shoved the still-bleeding book in his bag and ran out of the library

The blood began to seep through his bag on the way back to his dorm and Mike could feel it on his legs, spilling into his jeans and burning his skin. He rushed up the stairs and to his dorm, slamming his weight into his door and threw his bag to the floor, ignoring the spray of blood that came up from it.

Will was sitting cross-legged on Mike’s bed, cracking open one reddish-brown eye as Mike moved around. Mike stared at him, rage beginning to boil in his veins.

“What’s your problem, huh? Why do you have to keep fucking with me like this?!” Mike asked. The demon didn’t respond, but his eyes slid open slowly. The lion was back in his hands, and he stroked its mane leisurely. 

“So now you’re not gonna give me an answer? You’re just gonna drive me crazy and scare me half to death when all I wanted to do was help you-”

Mike was cut off as the demon on his bed opened his mouth, allowing multiple massive, squirming centipedes to drop to the sheets, scrabbling along Mike’s bed blindly. Mike growled, balling his hands into fists.

“What does that MEAN?!” Mike howled, stamping his foot into the floorboards. The demon shrugged, spitting up one last centipede before closing his eyes again. Mike hissed, surging forward and grabbing Will around the waist, carrying him off of the bed and dropping him on the floor. The demon pawed at him, wailing indignantly.

“Just leave me alone, please.” Mike said, exhausted. Will frowned at him from the floor, but picked himself up and nodded, disappearing with a flicker of flames. Mike sighed, turning back to his bed.

The lion was on his bed, with a note under its plush belly. Pulling the note from under the toy, Mike flipped it open, waiting for it to bleed on him or scream or try to bite him or something. 

It was plain paper, with red ink that only had one word on it, in the wiggling, large print of a child:

SORRY

The ink flickered and ran, and then the whole note disappeared in a flash of fire. MIke looked to his bed. The lion was gone as well.

He wouldn’t see Will again until a few days later.

He was walking to one of his lectures, and happened to glance across the quad to see a group of students laughing together next to one of the fountains next to the school. A soft smile came to Mike’s face before he realized he recognized someone in the group.

Will was behind them, his dark eyes focused directly on Mike’s. Even at the distance he was standing at, Mike could feel the heat emanating from the demon’s body. He had some kind of lollipop in his mouth, the stick poking out through his teeth as he grinned at Mike.

He pulled the candy from his mouth and Mike realized it was a human eye impaled on a stick, the iris dark and unseeing. Mike felt like he might puke. Will waved at him, and Mike could hear the demon’s giggling in his head. Jumping, he turned his head forwards and walked on, gripping his bag tighter to his chest.

That night, he returned to his dorm to find the lion on his bed.

His throat tightening to a pinhole, he reached forward and grabbed it, looking for some kind of note or other sign that Will had been there. There was nothing, and Mike frowned, tempted to call out for the demon. His back prickled with the feeling of being watched, and he straightened out.

The floor creaked behind him, and he turned. The last thing he saw was rows and rows of pearly white teeth in a black throat.

Two weeks later, Lucas was called to the police station. They had some questions about Mike, after finding him inexplicably ripped to shreds in his dorm. Lucas made his way to the office they’d told him to meet in, feeling a bubble of fear begin to swell in his stomach. There was an officer waiting for him, looking solemn as lucas entered the room and sat down.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your day, Mr. Sinclair. We just found something curious while we were investigating Mike’s… case, and wanted to know if you knew anything about it?” The man said. Lucas nodded slightly, barely enough to be visible.

“We found this in Mr. Wheeler’s hands at the scene. Have you ever seen it before?” He asked, reaching under the table and setting something on top of it. Lucas nearly puked.

It was a stuffed lion.