#this is horrible but i love these shots they look so good excluding the subject matter
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July 17th, 1925, New York, New York
The wedding was delightful. It was nice to see people heâd been friendly with years ago. Samson even entertained the crowd with his saxophone. And Thaddeus had not lied about Stella being heavily pregnant. She looked rather uncomfortableâor perhaps she was uncomfortable by the presence of her ex-husband and his new fiancĂ©e. As the happy crowd watched the newlyweds slowly dance to the lull of a trumpet and piano, Byron watched the balcony where his former wife stood, staring off into the evening sky.Â
âI never thought you would be a mother,â Byron said quietly, standing next to her.
Stella barely glanced at him. âI hear youâre a Jew now.â
âYou heard right.â
âThen weâre both unlikely things we thought weâd end up.â
He snorted, not in disagreement.Â
â...Why are you here?â
âThaddeus invited me.â
âNo, I meanâwhy are you talking to me?â
âI donât like how we ended things, Stella.â
She laughed without humor. âWe have moved on, have we not?â
âI donât harbor bad feelings toward you or Campbell. âŠAnymore. And⊠I want⊠I would like us to be friends. If you werenât so close to having a child, I would beg you to be at my wedding.â
Stella swallowed and licked her lips. âYou should be resentful. You should harbor bad feelings.â She scoffed. âI was with child when Thomas Walsh died. I had an abortion.â
Byron froze, and everything he had meant to stay fell from his head. â...I beg your pardon?â
âI was pregnant with your child, and I chose to get rid of it. I didnât want it.â
He couldnât help his anger and shock, trying to make sense of the information sheâd given him. âBut you are willing to have a child with Campbell?â
âTo have a child in your world? A society where she would be rejected in the spaces of her fatherâs culture and her motherâs? What cruelty would a child deserve to go through that? Yes, it is true I hadnât wanted children, but with CampbellâŠâ She sighed. âIâm happy, Byron. Iâm happier than I ever was with you. And I think it is the same for you and Miss Balass. We canât be friends. You lied about your past, and I lied about my love for you. You may have forgiven me, but I have not forgiven you. You forced me into a world I did not want to be in.âÂ
He looked down. âMay we at least part as acquaintances?â
Stella was quiet for another minute. âI think so.â
Byron nodded, turning toward the night sky as they stood together in the simmering silence, watching the stars.
#the walshes#the walsh legacy#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4 decades#sims 4 historical#sims 4 decades challenge#sims 4 history challenge#thaddeus gardenhouse#byron walsh#stella gardenhouse#eleora balass#history simblr#ts4 historical#ts4 decades challenge#ts4 1920s#1920s#tw racism#tw abortion#adanna gardenhouse#this is horrible but i love these shots they look so good excluding the subject matter
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Survey #341
âanger, misery, youâll suffer unto meâ
Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? I don't think so. Have you ever trashed your exâs car after an argument? No, and I never would. Grow up. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yeah; guilt would eat me alive otherwise. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Fucking ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? No. Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? Ugh, no. Would most people consider you better than average looking? Ha, no. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? Give me the perfect body, living in my horrible one has affected my mental health badly enough. I'm fine with having a moderate IQ. I just want to feel happy in my own skin. Have you ever embarrassed some intentionally in public? Wow, no. Have you ever used a false ID? Also no. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to tell people I don't HAVE a job. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I don't. I'm sure it was RP-related and not friendly, but I don't remember the exact convo. Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? I want to say no; I think the lowest I ever got was a C. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? Ugh, no. I'm sorry if you're into it, but I'm just not. I would want to ensure they knew their uniqueness and individuality was seen. Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? There's a large number of those kinds of people. What brings out the worst in you? Probably when I'm building up towards a PTSD meltdown. I get VERY short and snappy and am convinced everyone hates and wants to leave me. My mouth also has NO fucking leash, and I know I can say very mean things that I'll regret later. What do you prefer, Skittles or Starbursts? Skittles. Mike & Ikes or Jolly Ranchers? Jolly Ranchers for sure. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Waffles (with syrup). Don't knock it 'til you try it, I'm telling you. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Besides birds obviously, there's squirrels, deer, opossums, raccoons... Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think I've had just one. What's your biggest problem at the moment? Probably my anxiety having stunted my growth in so many areas. Have you ever turned down a job offer? I don't think so, no. What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I think my longest was almost two months for suicidal thoughts. Two months might sound long, but it was like... my third or so psych hospital stay for that same reason. What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Even the most simple math. I don't even know the majority of my elementary multiplication tables. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one there already, but I plan on getting it covered because it was an impulse tattoo that I feel no connection towards. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? My old house, yeah. Are you a beach, country, or city person? Country. Living in the suburbs has definitely reminded me of that... Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing, by a long shot. I make typos texting too much. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah. Who is the last person that you said "I love you" to, besides family members? Sara. When was your first real relationship? Sophomore year of high school to early college. Have you ever cried over an ex? I've cried the entire mass of water on Earth over an ex lmao. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Is there something really bad that youâve done, that only YOU know about? No. Have you ever copied someone elseâs homework? I think I have once or twice, but obviously with consent. Whatâs a hobby you would like to try out? If my legs worked like actual legs and I didn't sweat like an absolute pig, I would like to try out herping, but without actually interacting with the animal like picking it up and scaring the daylights out of it. I'd just be happy enough looking for reptiles, amphibians, and inverts to photograph instead. Does that still even count as herping? What was the last event you attended? My youngest niece's birthday party. How about the last event you organized? I've never organized an event. Whatâs something you get excited about doing and want to do it right away? Whenever I take nature pictures, I'm immediately keen to get them into Lightroom and do the postproduction. Is there anything you feel youâre better at than anybody else? Definitely not. Whatâs the biggest insect youâve ever seen? If you exclude places like the zoo, that would probably be a rhinoceros beetle or something. Oh no, actually some kind of local moth I don't know the name of. They're beautiful big white boiz. How about the biggest spider? I might be mis-remembering, but I believe at a reptile convention I went to with Sara, one of the vendors had a goliath bird eater tarantula in one of the cups. I do know it was some tarantula species for sure, though. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad. Obviously not romantically, but him just splitting on the family with no proper communication absolutely broke my heart for years. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentineâs day? I'm sure that would be my parents. If you exclude them 'cuz that's kinda obvious, I believe it was Aaron, my first boyfriend. I'm pretty sure we were together on Valentine's Day, because I remember getting him a giant Hershey's Kiss. First band you obsessed about? I wasn't truly obsessed with any band 'til Ozzy in middle school. Can you do a backflip? No; I've never tried and never will. I was and still am too afraid of breaking my neck. Like I have a MASSIVE fear of paralysis, particularly from the neck down; that fear is actually the biggest one that keeps me from driving, fun fact. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Of the two, definitely a pessimist, but I at least think I align most with being a realist. Whatâs the biggest lie youâve told someone? I'm unsure. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? Yeah. How many doors are in the room youâre in? Just one. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Tyler once drew a picture of him and me. It was cute. That guy still dove in WAY too fast. Have you ever dated a redhead? I haven't, but I love redheads. Natural red hair is just gorgeous. What are your thoughts on facial hair on guys? Historically, I seem to generally like some, but it really depends on the guy's general appearance. I can like none at all or a full beard and mustache, it doesn't really matter to me. Did you go anywhere today? No; my mom is in Florida with her brothers totally cleaning out Grammy's house, so she's not here to take me anywhere. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yikes, I have a lot. I honestly can't count because I've lost track of how many boys and girls Katie has. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do? Jesus. I'd rather die; some things just aren't worth living after, and I'd have no desire to keep going if I killed my father. Did you ever cry at the end of King Kong? I've never watched it, actually, but I. LOVED. The video game. I haven't played it in years and only faintly remember how it ends, but I don't remember crying. Are you in any amount of pain at the moment? Quite a lot, actually. It's kinda a TMI subject so I won't delve into it, just know I'm hurting like a bitch. What was the last sugary thing you ate? I snacked on some chocolate chips earlier today... which I really shouldn't have done, but I think I had reasonable restraint and didn't totally binge. When was the last time you did something extremely stupid? Who knows, that's not a rare occurrence, it feels like. Have you been to any parties lately? Only my niece's bday party in February. Thankfully it was kept pretty small, given Covid; not that anyone in that family besides my sister gives a flying fuck about precautions, though... Can you touch your pinky to your thumb around your wrist? Ugh, no. Close, but not enough. I still have thin wrists and hands, but yeah, yay for being overweight. If you were to start a charity, what would you call it? I'd hve to put more thought than I'm willing for one survey question. I'd have to decide what KIND of charity I want to start first, which I'm unsure of. Probably something related to animal wellfare and conservation or something similar to the Trevor Project. Maybe LBGTQ+ youth disowned by their families... I dunno. There's so much good I wish I could do. Are you comfortable with your body? Holy fuck no. It's only gotten worse since I started gaining weight again and almost entirely erased all weight loss progress I'd made. What is your recent inside joke? Most recently made? Idk, man. I don't make those often. Would you rather be a human, vampire, or a werewolf? Er, I'm good with being a human. If I was a vampire or werewolf, I wouldn't exactly be very welcomed, I'm sure, and both have seemingly painful traits to cope with. Are you good at giving directions? It is absolutely impossible for me. I have NO sense of direction, like, at all. I don't know highway names, local exits, etc. etc. etc. etc. Why did you last curse? Pain when readjusting myself due to aforementioned issue I'm having. What is your purpose in life? I hope it involves animals and spreading words of peace and an appreciation for art. What is one of your weak points? I'm very, very, very dependent on others. I'm really working on trying to correct that. I can barely do shit on my own as is. Who was the last person you heard snoring? My cat, haha. Would you rather shower by yourself or with another person? 100% by myself. Another person would just get in the way and make me VERY self-conscious of my body, even if it was my romantic partner. Just please leave me alone to hate myself for 10 minutes. :^) What was your last addiction? You could say my current one is John Wolfe, a really funny let's player I've gotten into. Been bingeing some of my favorite games he has playlists of for a few weeks now. You are in a tank full of spiders, what do you do? Well one, I'd like to know what kind they are. Venomous? Harmless? You gotta give me the details. If I don't have any, then I'm admittedly freaking the fuck out, even though I know I should stay very calm when trying to get out. Fear would win, though. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you? Saving the world from what? But odds are, yeah. I don't cherish my pretty damn mediocre life more than I do the lives of what, 8 billion people? Have you ever stayed up all night just to talk to someone? Yeah. When was the last time you eavesdropped someone? I kinda do that sometimes when Mom's on the phone and I can hear her from my room, and if they're on speaker. Particularly if the subject is me. When was the last time you went to a club? I've never been to one. How have you been sleeping? Poorly. Are you adopted? No, I'm not. Do you like scrapbooking? Not really, no. Do you collect anything valuable? "Valuable to me." <<<< This. Nothing of great monetary worth, though. Have you ever been beaten up? No, thankfully. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't think so, in my personal life. What was the last thing you killed? An ant. Have you ever used someone for money? I never could, no. When was the last time you went to the zoo? Sigh, it's been many many years. I'm so ready to get my goddamn legs back in shape so I can go again, this time with a REAL camera, too. Last time I went was when I still only had a Kodak EasyShare; I have a professional Canon camera now with much more education on photography too, so I would be in absolute heaven with at least twenty memory cards in need, haha. Maybe next fall... Is there a teacher you hate more than anything? I actually never had a teacher I hated in my entire school career. It really, really is as simple as just being a respectful student. In most cases, I should emphasize, because I do understand some educators just suck. Now I had some teachers I wasn't very fond of, but most certainly none that I hated. Do you own colored eyeliner? No. Do you have manners? I honestly think I'm very mannerly. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? We last had to put my dog Teddy down; he had cancer and was literally withering away. I knew in my very core that even if we didn't bring him to the vet to euthanize him, he would've died naturally in a very short period of time; I doubt he would've survived another night. Now I'd like to move on. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination of Vraylar and Lamictal is the reason I'm alive. It keeps my bipolarity and depression under control. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but those are some of my favorite crafts visually. They're very pretty and cute. Can you see the mountains from where you live? Oh hunny, I wish. Did you ever play pranks on April Foolâs Day? As a kid, yeah. I don't anymore. I'm not really even a fan of April Fool's Day as an adult because of how cruel some jokes assholes play are. Which instrument would you play if you could learn to play one? Maybe violin. Do you part your hair on the left side, right side, or in the middle? The left. What are some names you like that start with the first letter of your name? Uhhhh Bianca, Braelynn (look I know it's so stereotypically Southern but it's pretty)... and idk from there, those are the two that come to mind first.
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(Almost) Every Idea Ever
Although I rarely ever finish writing a fic, that never stops me from getting new ideas for them. Terrible, horrible, dumpster fire ideas. Okay, some of them are wholesome on occasion, but mostly itâs just filth. I've excluded a couple of things because either they were just too awful to mention or Iâm currently working on them and I want it to be a surprise.
The first story I started to write this year was original fiction but with the main male character heavily inspired by Jim Hopper. It was about a recently married young woman having an affair with her father-in-law. This really set a precedent for the rest of my ideas and should indicate to you the level of depravity on this list.
Hopper x Reader:
Hurts So Good series - In 1982, Reader is Mayor Klineâs daughter and has a crush on Chief Hopper. She decides to pursue him and things donât go quite as planned but they still end up having steamy, rough sex. A secret affair begins between the two of them but it eventually leads to heartbreak. Heavy emphasis on Dom/sub and pain kink. - Initial pursuit, fingering in the car, sex (60%) - Phone sex the following day (70%) - Rough sex, bordering on consensual nonconsent (partially written) - Introduction to Daddy kink (notes) - Body worship (notes) - Bruise kink (notes) - Facesitting (50%) - hurt/comfort throatfucking, an argument, angst/fluff (75%) - Orgasm denial/control (70%) - Possible gunplay? (Unwritten) - Disciplinary spanking (notes)
Dress You Up series - In 1985, Hopper meets plus-size!Reader at JCPenney when he comes in to pick out a shirt for his date. After Joyce stands him up, he decides to come back and ask Reader out instead. Probably the cutest idea Iâve ever had for smut. Inspired by flamehairedwritings and flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash. - 1st meeting, 2nd meeting, date, sex (50%) - 2nd date, a continuation of My First Drabble (partially written) - Meeting El and sheâs standoffish (notes)
Domestic Smut - Reader and husband!Hopper are at the cabin alone together one weekend. After breakfast, she tries to wash the dishes but the sink is broken, the water squirting everywhere. A water fight turns into a tickle fight which turns into kitchen table sex. (50%)
Hopper blindfolding Reader during sex at the cabin (Notes)
Hopper blindfolding Reader during a blowjob in his office at the police station (Minimal notes)
Hopper rubbing a popsicle on Readerâs body then licking it off (Minimal notes)
Hopper coming over to Readerâs house, unannounced, late at night, in the rain, for a quick rough fuck. Inspired by one of the pictures from the Playboy shoot. (Partially written)
Licking Hopperâs hand and arm veins to get his attention while he reads the Sunday newspaper. (Unwritten)
Sucking Hopperâs cock while he smokes a cigar on the porch and either ignores you or looks at you with disdain. Inspired by a compilation video of David smoking a cigar on Instagram Live. (Unwritten)
Consensual nonconsent fantasy where Hopper touches Reader and tells her to say no to him while heâs making her cum. Rough, forceful sex immediately follows. (Partially written)
Bootlicker - anti-cop Reader has a secret fetish for cops and Hopper is more than happy to oblige them and keep quiet about it. (Notes)
Working out my own personal issues via smut, bigender-questioning AFAB Reader puts on Hopperâs uniform shirt and hat. Much to their delight, he says they look like a boy. He also says âIf youâre going to dress like a boy, Iâm going to fuck you like one.â Basically just incredible anal sex while Hopper calls Reader a good boy. Extremely niche subject but the fantasy of this is so affirming to me, I canât not think about it. (Notes)
Hopper x Reader requests
A sequel to Little Magnum where the dog is a few years older. There is maybe also a cat? (Unwritten)
Fire & Ice - Reader is playing in the snow when itâs getting dark outside. Hopper tells them to come in but they donât listen. Reader falls and hurts their ankle then Hopper gets angry at their disobedience. Not because heâs a jerk, but because he canât imagine his life without Reader and doesnât want to lose them. Angsty hurt/comfort. (~70%)
Replacement idea since Fire & Ice was much too angsty - Reader gets stung by a bee and Hopper freaks out. Reader is fine but he babies them nonetheless, because again, his greatest fear is losing them. Very cute and silly. (unwritten)
Freezeframe - Reader bought Hopper a Polaroid camera for his birthday and he hasnât used it months later. Taking matters into her own hands, she uses the camera for some naughty selfies. Once Hopper finds the pictures, he decides to assume the role of photographer and gets some very intimate shots of Reader. (80-85%)
Morning Wood - Reader lets themself into the cabin early one Summer morning and sees Hopper in bed, fully nude, just a sheet covering the part they want to see most. Hop wakes up, invites Reader into bed with him, and a blowjob ensues. Very detailed description of his body. (Notes)
Hopper gets injured and needs Reader to patch him up. She gets pissed though for him being in yet another dangerous situation where he yet again gets hurt. Reader reprimanding him leads to confessions of feelings which leads to sex. (Unwritten)
Reader has been feeling ignored by Hopper lately and decides to make him jealous to get his attention. She flirts with another man at a bar while Hopper watches and seethes with rage. He punishes her by dragging her into the parking lot then spanking over the tailgate of his Chevy Blazer. Rough sex and more spanking goes down back at the cabin. Based on my jealous!Hopper headcanon post. (Partially written)
Principal Hopper  - One of the worst ideas Iâve ever had, which is saying A LOT. High school principal Hopper catches one of his 18-year-old female students spying on him between classes and confronts her about it. Sexual tension bubbles up until neither of them can control themselves. Based on a fantasy told to me by a friend who I will not name. (Notes)
Hopper x Reader AUs
Messing Around With Jim series - A continuation of The Big Game, Afterschool Special, and Third Timeâs A Charm. Modern!Hopper and Reader having all kinds of sex. - Fingering, gentle sex, tender orgasm control (50%) - Period sex, vibrator (Notes) - First blowjob, a continuation of A Sampling (partially written) - Hop eating Readerâs pussy for his birthday (minimal notes) - Fingering in the car, truck bed sex (notes) - Another blowjob, rough sex over the hood of a car (partially written) - Pussy eating at the park (notes) - Hop not understanding FaceTime, fluff, smut (unwritten) - Roleplaying how they met, sex at Readerâs parents house (notes) - July 4th fingering, rough sex, surprises (notes) - Remote control vibrator (partially written) - More pussy eating, this time in Hopâs cutting edge shirt (partially written) - Yet another blowjob, this time in a movie theater (unwritten) - Jealousy resulting in overstimulation/âforcedâ orgasms (notes) - 4 part miniseries about butt plugs/anal sex (notes) - Confronting her parents, angst (55-60%) - Learning about Sara, ANGST! (notes)
Vacation series - modem!Hopper and Reader go on vacation together. Thatâs it, thatâs the plot. Idea from Davidâs Croatian vacation pics and conversations with Tayler. All just notes at this point. - Christening the hotel bed - Bratty Reader getting semi-publicly punished - Hopper taking care of drunk!Reader, humor, fluff - Double date
carpenter!Hopper - Reader is recently divorced and hires Hop to make repairs on her house before she sells it. Graphic detail of him doing manly things like sawing and hammering. Porn with plot. Inspired by another friend, she knows who she is. (Notes in the form of a 500-word summary)
Detective Hopper - various bits and pieces of ideas inspired by David being digitally handcuffed to Darren Criss and Michael Stuhlbarg in Vanity Fair, plus a few pictures in 2016. (Unwritten)
Captain Hopper - a collaboration with @pkg4mumtown. She said she was thinking about fire captain!Hopper rescuing her from a burning building and I told her my pre-existing firefighter idea of being saved and then wanting to thank him in a variety of ways. Things snowballed from there and I decided we need to write it. Mostly just notes so far. - Initial meeting, first date, sex - Second date, making dinner together, sex
Hopper x Joyce:
There is a list of my Jopper ideas (Various degrees of notes)
Teenage Joyce and Hopper meeting in high school and their relationship that follows. Maybe a oneshot? Maybe a series? (Notes)
Hopper x Billy: (Over 18-years-old and no longer in high school!)
1940/50âs AU - Hopper meets expat Billy at a cigar club while on vacation in Havana. A familiar face, so to speak, in a foreign land. Hop pays Billy to take him back to his apartment and âkeep him companyâ. Maybe two chapters? Inspired by a photo of Dacre Montgomery in GQ Germany. (Partially written.)
Hopper catches Billy ârenting his timeâ at a truck stop outside of town and threatens to arrest him, but Billy bribes him with sex. (Unwritten.) Iâm sorry but thereâs just something about the idea of rent boy Billy that I absolutely love.
Hopper + Billy + Reader - completely implausible threeway (Unwritten)
David Harbour RPF:
AU where instead of being an actor, heâs a drama teacher at a high school in New York City and the kids from Stranger Things are his students. Pure fluff. (Please write this for me!)
Giving him a blow job before an important event. TWO different versions. Inspired by numerous photos of David wearing a robe. (Minimal notes)
Riding his thigh and everything that entails. Inspired by a picture of David from GQ Mexico. (Minimal notes)
touch-starved!David hires a sexworker during the pandemic because heâs lonely quarantining by himself. No sex. He literally just wants a hug and someone to be affectionate with him. Unconventional fluff. (Unwritten)
Other DKH-related shenanigans:
Letâs Ride sequel - Reader goes on a second date with Deacon from SoulCycle, they go out for sashimi and end up at his place. He has a cat that he inherited from a neighbor. Reader teaches him how to put her in a chokehold. (Unwritten)
Alexei Shostakov smut - some type of Bond Girl situation where Reader has to seduce him. Just an excuse for me to lovingly describe his large tattooed body in vivid detail. (Unwritten)
The Stranger - Reader has an ongoing affair with a mysterious man whose name is never mentioned. They meet at high society functions and hook up in fancy hotels. One night, he finds out that sheâs married and punishes her for her dishonesty. Inspired by a photo of David looking annoyed in a tuxedo. (Notes)
Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay fantasy. Sweet, smutty, and slightly taboo. (Notes)
Daddyâs Little...Helper - Me, as submissive!Reader, watching Daddy jack off right in front of my face after he comes home from work. Based on a conversation with an Instagram friend and a picture of David in the play âCal In Camoâ where heâs holding a beer bottle between his legs. (65%)
Stranger Things x Twin Peaks crossover - Chief Jim Hopper comes to Twin Peaks to help Special Agent Dale Cooper solve some type of paranormal mystery. Perhaps a parallel between The Black Lodge and The Upside Down? I think this would work really really well, but I canât write it myself. (Please write this for me!)
In conclusion: Yes, I know I need to have my head examined. Yes, I know I spend too much time thinking about Jim Hopper. Let me know if you LIKE these ideas. Please do not let me know if you hate these ideas.
Tagging: @manawhaat @strangest-hour @007swhore @kingphillipblake @david-harbour-arg @misshawkins1993 @oxforddramaÂ
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Dream a Little Dream
Pairing: Rowena x reader
Summary: Sleeping with Rowena results in an accident and tremendous amounts of guilt.
A/N: Inspired by this post and @miss-moon-guardianâs idea.
Editor: @miss-moon-guardianâ
*****
Sleeping with Rowena was one of the best things in the world.
She was so small, so warm, perfect to wrap your arms around and hold against you. Sometimes she spooned you; other times you were the big spoon. There were times when you wrapped around each other, and those when you turned your backs to one another, butts brushing together.
Her hair tended to get in your face from time to time, red tendrils sprawling over your mouth and neck like snakes. There was that one time when you rolled over and pushed her off the bed; unconsciously so, but it hadn't stopped her from moaning dramatically as if she'd been hit by a truck and throwing you dirty looks all throughout the day.
Once, you'd managed to drool on her shoulder. A gross, incredibly embarrassing moment, but one you'd come to remember with humor rather than the initial discomfort. It had become a weapon Rowena liked to utilize to win silly arguments, to which you were always quick to respond with a middle finger or a raspberry. Or both, because why not go all the way, seeing as you were already engaged in childishness?
Many adventures were had in the bedroom, sexual escapades excluded. When one dated someone as peculiar as Rowena MacLeod, it was to be expected. The woman was extra in every sense of the word, even when she was asleep.
She loved cuddles (though she never asked for them aloud, the proud creature she was. You'd learned to recognize her body language for demanding them â not that it was hard for open arms and a pout accompanied by trembling lips could only say so much), but she also loved to sprawl all over the bed, taking up all the space as if she were still sleeping alone. You were no stranger to waking up with her arm or leg thrown over you, her hair in your mouth, covers shoved to the floor.
Tonight you'd gone to sleep rather simply. You were on your back, with Rowena's head resting on your chest. Your arm was wrapped around her, holding her against you. She fell asleep to the sound of your heartbeat; you, on the other hand, dozed off listening to her breathing, softly, calmly, her skin on yours filling you with warmth.
Having her so close gave you a sense of security. She was your home, your refuge, your everything. Your safe haven. The one person you knew you could count on.
You still couldn't fathom how you'd managed to get her to trust you, of all people. How you'd managed to get her to put her guard down, to let herself care about you, and, ultimately, love you. The woman was an acquired taste; she was demanding, bitchy, dramatic enough to put a Broadway actress to shame. And, underneath it all was a person. One hidden away beneath layers of coldness, behind steel walls. Terrified of the world around her, cruel and unforgiving.
You could see bits and pieces of that woman, and, with time, Rowena had allowed you to meet her. It was a privilege of the highest order, and you treated it as such, swearing to never do anything to jeopardize it. To never tear her heart out and crush it before her eyes with a wicked smile on your mouth.
To never hurt her the way she'd been hurt before.
Every time you told her you loved her, you meant it. And every time she said it back, you knew she felt it just as much. Because, as complicated as she was, Rowena wasn't difficult to figure out once you got to know her â really, truly know her, heart and soul alike.
When she cuddled up with you tonight, you knew it was a gesture of love. Unlike you, she wasn't too big on telling. But when it came to showing, she was a professional. Curling up against you was one of her favorite things. She was like a kitten like that, a small bundle of fluff and joy. And when you put your arm around her, the sound that she let out sounded suspiciously like a purr.
It was an ordinary night, no different than any other this week, and the one before that. Settling down did wonders for one's life. No hunters or monsters lurking about. No apocalypses on their way. Just a nice, normal suburban life.
You were dreaming of⊠something. You weren't entirely sure what it was. It was something, and â you were holding it. Yes, that was right. You were holding it for, despite not knowing what it was, you knew it was of immense importance. You had to keep it safe. You couldn't let it get into the wrong hands.
Someone you couldn't see smacked your arm. You tightened your hold on the thing. Mustn't lose it. Must keep it safe. The person persisted, hitting you, kicking at you, muttering⊠something, their voice too choked up, too cracked to properly let the words out.
All you knew was, they wanted your treasure.
And you wouldn't let them have it.
The more they fought you, the harder you held on. This was your possession, your prize, whatever the hell it was. You weren't going to give it up without a fight.
Or so you thought until pain unlike any you'd felt before shot through your arm and everything faded into blinding darkness.
Your eyes snapped open. Your breathing was fast, uneven, chest heaving as if you'd run for miles. Your arm was on fire, hot, slick blood trickling down your skin. Pouring out of wounds resembling crescents, that stung as if freshly sharpened knives had bit into your skin.
What the fuck? What the fuck?!
A sound of coughing, of hard, labored breathing startled you. Rowena was beside you on the bed, on her knees, hungrily sucking in breath after breath before pushing it out. Her hands were on her neck, skin crimson red, vibrant as her hair. Her eyes were wide, face pale as if she'd seen a ghost. Tears stained her cheeks, falling mercilessly one after the other. Dripping onto her lacy black pajamas.
You instantly sprung upright, protective mode kicking in. "Rowena!" Your reached for her shoulder.
She smacked your hand away.
The rejection stung. What happened? Why didn't she want you to touch her? Usually, she welcomed it. Touching her shoulder always calmed her, grounded her. Told her, without a single word spoken, that she was safe. That you were there and you weren't going to let anything happen to her â never again. Then your arms would open and she would snuggle in and let you hold her, for an hour if she needed it. She would cry and you would rock her, whisper softly to her, soothe her as if she were a child.
Why didn't she want it now? Why didn't she want you?
Wait a minuteâŠ
The dream. You holding onto something. Someone trying to make you let it go. You stubbornly refusing to let go. The stabbing pain. The bleeding wounds on your arm.
Oh, my god!
Had you hurt her? Had that something you held so vigorously been her head? Had you tried to choke her?
Had she, desperate to free herself of your grasp, scratched you?
God. Jesus. Fuck!
"Rowena," you said as softly as you could, guilt shooting through you like acid, eating you up from the inside, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
It had been three years since her most horrible death â since Lucifer, whose name had become all but a curse in this house â and choking was still a painful subject for her. The two of you used to role play; now, if she allowed you to grab her neck, it came with strict rules. She still had nightmares of the bastard showing up at her door, his hands on her neck, squeezing with force unlike any she'd ever felt. She still saw his face â his true face, horror personified. Still felt his boots slamming on her head, her skull giving in, bones cracking under the pressure. Still screamed and cried about it, felt the pain as her skull gave in and flames started licking at her skin, eating her up bit by little bit.
You swore to never let it happen again.
And now you'd hurt her â just as he had.
"Are you okay?" you asked â a stupid question, really, for she was certainly not okay. She was far from okay.
"Iâ" Rowena sucked in another breath. Pushed it out. Rinse and repeat. Swallowed the lump that had formed in her bruised throat. "I'm fine."
Physically, maybe, but you knew her mental state was far from fine. Was she back in that hotel room with Lucifer? Was she losing her breath, having her skull crushed, laying motionless in a pool of her own blood as fire devoured her?
"I just need a minute," she added.
A minute of you not touching her. A minute away from you.
A more than fair request, given the circumstances.
"Okay," you said with a nod, not that she could see it. "I'm really sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to. I was dreaming, and I guess I must'veâ"
"It's fine," she cut you off.
It wasn't. Not by a longshot. "I'm really sorry." What else could you say? You hadn't meant to hurt her, but you did. It happened. You couldn't erase it, no matter how much you wanted to.
Rowena turned to you. Locked her red-rimmed eyes with yours. "I know, darling." A smile bloomed on her mouth; loving, encouraging, one of those smiles she gave you whenever you needed comfort.
Relief flooded through you. She wasn't mad. At least there was that.
"Can I?" Your eyes trailed to her hands, now resting on her lap.
Without a word, she reached for your hand. You squeezed, fingers wrapping over hers, holding on as if your life depended on it. It felt good to hold her, to feel her skin, soft as a caress and warm as home, on yours.
It was an intimate moment. She was vulnerable, fragile, and she let you see it. She let you in just as she had countless times before.
Only you.
"Did I squeeze hard?" If the red on her neck was any indication, you'd had quite a grip.
She nodded, and your heart sank, guilt stinging, tearing into you like a blade.
"You've got quite a grip, lass." Her tone was light, joking.
You weren't laughing. You wanted to cry. "I'm sorry."
She shot you a pointed stare. "How many times are you going to apologize?"
A thousand, if it would ease your guilt. If it would make it right. Swallowing, you said, "I had this dream that I was holding something under my arm."
"That would be my head," Rowena said, deadpan.
"Someone was trying to take it, so I kinda fought them."
"That would be me."
"I'm sorry." Her eyebrow rose. Stare intensified. You sighed. "I'm-I don't know what else to say. I feel really bad. I didn't wanna hurt you."
Her expression softened. "I know, Y/N. Let us move past it."
Okay. You could do that. It sounded like a good idea.
In theory.
The guilt still ate at you. Your heart still ached. You could put on a front, be all smiles and rainbows, but on the inside you would still tear yourself apart. The past three years hadn't been easy; you'd been there through the nightmares, the flashbacks, the crying fits as random memories struck. You'd watched her fall apart, over and over, and pull herself back together. You'd held her. Loved her. Supported her.
Only to now hurt her.
How were you supposed to get past that?
It may have been an accident, but the fact still remained that you were the one who'd hurt her. You were the one who'd sent her back to that hotel room, who'd made her relive that hell yet again.
"Okay," you said, though it really wasn't. You were willing to try to make it so. You cupped her cheek gently; she leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. A wordless sign of trust. You smiled. "It won't happen again. I promise."
Rowena gave a small nod. "It wasn't that bad."
The drying tears on her cheeks and her still a tad faster than normal breathing said otherwise.
Her eyes fell upon the crescent wounds on your arm. "Did I do that?" There was regret in her tone, a matching expression spilling over her face.
"It's nothing. Just a few scratches." Marks of self-defense. She ran a finger over them, feeling them, inspecting them. The touch was gentle; as much as the wounds stung, there was comfort in it, care. Concern. "It's fine."
"I should see to them," she said.
You weren't the only protective one in this relationship. "Later."
She gave a nod. "I'll make you a potion."
"Okay, Mama Bear." She rolled her eyes at the nickname. You chuckled. "I'm glad you're okay."
"It takes more than a wee headlock to bring me down."
"Tough girl."
"You know it."
You pecked her on the tip of her nose, making her scrunch her face adorably, which, in turn, prompted you to smile. "Come on, let's go back to sleep. It'sâ" you glanced at your phone, eyes widening in surprise "âfive AM. Jesus! I thought it was seven at least."
"We're a bit early," Rowena agreed.
The two of you resumed your positions â you on your back with her beside you, her head on your chest. Your hand tentatively slid around her.
"I'll try not to choke you this time," you said, only partly joking. The last thing you wanted was to hurt her again.
She chuckled. "If you would be so kind."
You pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Love you, baby."
"I love you, too, darling."
Not long after you both drifted back to sleep.
This time, thankfully, without weird dreams and headlocks.
*****
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a softer leo | lena
leo takes nina out for lunch at a little place he loves. heâs a bit different than he usually is, but they have a good time.
Leo felt a bit bad about practically having tricked her into going out to lunch with her, but it wasn't like he was going to pull anything shitty. He just wanted another chance to talk to her in an environment where she had to talk to him a little bit. Plus, this gave them time to plan further about what they were going to do with this Philip and Audrey situation. "Ready to go? We do reservations, you know," he said playfully, tapping his watch at her. Audrey being there really made it hard for her to back out.
Nina would be lying if she said she hadn't tried to think of an excuse to get out of this lunch. She'd been so weird when they'd said goodbye at the flat and she was sure she'd do something equally stupid if they were alone too long. She just had to tell herself she was doing this for Audrey. Especially after the newest developments. She looked over at him and made a face. "Don't tap your watch at me," she said playfully. "Just give me a second. Some of us are doing actual work." She told Audrey she was heading to lunch and walked up to Leo again. "Where are we going, anyway?"
Leo smiled playfully at her and shrugged innocently. "I just don't want us to lose our table," he said casually, pretending it was no big deal. "I'm highly offended by your implication," he teased. Once they were out of the office and walking out to his car, he shrugged a bit. "Don't know for sure. We don't actually have reservations, but it fit the story we told before," he said with a wink. "Where do you want to go? What do you want to eat?"
Nina thought it was odd that he'd made a lunch reservation. Did people do that? Fancy people must, she decided. "You're always offended by something," she laughed. She gave him a look when they were outside. "What? You mean you tapped your watch at me for nothing?" she scolded playfully. She thought for a moment, trying to keep her smile at bay. "Well," she drew the word out. "I was thinking about tacos earlier but soup sounds so nice now."
Leo shrugged casually at that, a smile on his face. He wasn't really, but it was fun to mess around with her and she seemed to enjoy it too. He laughed a bit and shrugged again. "It seemed like something that made sense!" he said with another laugh. He nodded a bit at her ideas, making a face but then shaking his head. "Soup it is, then!" he said. "There's this great little place. You'll love it. It's all super fresh."
Nina rolled her eyes but she was smiling. He wasn't cute, she told herself. "You tapped your watch at me!" she laughed. "It's so rude! It's like whistling to get someone's attention or snapping at a waiter." He sure was fun to tease. She folded her arms as they walked to his car, trying not to think too much. "Alright, if you're sure. I don't mind too much where we go. I'm actually really hungry," she admitted.
Leo rolled his eyes back at her, shaking his head. "I would never whistle at someone or snap at a waiter. It's definitely not the same thing," he said, waving it off. "I think that's all the more reason why you should care! Hopefully you'll like it, even in your apparent state of not caring about anything," he teased. He opened the door for her, going around to the driver's side and getting in himself. "How's your day going then, aside from busy?"
Nina hummed in thought. "If you say so, Leo," she teased him. She doubted very much that he would but it was so enjoyable to mess with him. "I'm sure I'll like it! It's hard to mess up soup!" she laughed. "And I care about plenty of things, thank you very much. Just not so much about where we go. Unsurprisingly, you just want to argue," she scolded playfully. She thanked him for getting her door. "It's going pretty well. I've gotten a lot of work done. I've been doing some research," she admitted. "What about you? How's yours going?"
Leo laughed and shook his head. "I just want to make sure you enjoy lunch," he said, smiling at her. "I did say it was a state, though, not a permanent thing," he teased. He pulled out of his parking spot and headed toward the bistro. He nodded a bit as she spoke. Sounded like a very productive day. "That's excellent. I'm glad you've accomplished a lot. My day has been well. I've sat in on a few meetings. Nothing thrilling, but nothing to complain about."
Nina didn't think there was a way that she couldn't. He was being sweet, though. She tried to ignore it. "I'm sure I will. Don't worry so much," she reassured him. "You're just trying to rile me up," she teased back. She wasn't the biggest fan of sitting in on meetings but she knew their importance. Especially for him. "What kind of meetings? Anything interesting happening?" She wondered if it was anything she should know about. "Is Philip still planning to come volunteer with us?"
Leo smiled a bit at her reassurance and nodded. He felt like he had so few chances to show her he wasn't such a horrible pain, that he didn't want to waste any of those chances with her not enjoying something. "Why would I do that?" he teased, smiling genuinely at her. "I swear, most of the meetings were just to plan other meetings. Ridiculous, isn't it? Nothing really interesting, no," he said honestly. "I think he is. As far as I know, anyway. I would like that," he admitted. He missed Philip, he'd like to see him more.
Nina shook her head in amusement. She had to get herself together. "You seem to enjoy it very much," she teased back. "Ugh, that's the worst," she laughed. What a waste of time. She'd much rather be working. At least she felt like she was doing something. "I try to get out of meetings, myself," she admitted. "I'd like that too. He's so fun. I'm sure Audrey will enjoy having him around," she said playfully.
Leo shook his head more seriously this time. "I most definitely don't. But you don't seem to mind it all too much," he teased. "It really is. Absolute waste of time, really," he laughed. He nodded, thinking that made sense, but finding it interesting. He wondered if he could work to get her out of meetings if he tried. "I don't blame you," he said with a smile. "Oh, I'm sure she will," he laughed. "How long do you think before one of them makes a move?"
Nina rolled her eyes playfully. "I might enjoy it a little bit," she laughed. "Such a waste. Like, I could be working. I could be on the phone with other embassies trying to make a difference but no, stuck in a conference room. It's the absolute worst." She thought for a moment, unsure. She didn't think either would make a move without help. "Hopefully not too long. I'm over all this pining from afar. We need a plan," she declared. "What can we do?"
Leo smirked a bit, though he tried to hide it. He knew she enjoyed all of this. "Conference rooms are especially useless for you then, huh?" he said with a smile. "Maybe I could get them to exclude you from meetings and send you an email about what you missed afterwards?" he said, smiling at her for a brief moment. "I don't know. We need to get one of them to realize the other is interested. Or be willing to take that leap."
Nina nodded a little. "Yeah. I don't see the point," she admitted. She was surprised at the offer. He wanted to talk to everyone and ask for special treatment for her? It was a sweet thought but people would talk. "You don't have to. I doubt anyone would listen," she admitted. "Or they'd never let me hear the end of it. Thank you, though. I wish I could say yes," she added with a laugh. "Yeah, but how? Audrey won't listen to me she just changes the subject to me. We need to, like, set up a date for them."
Leo was a bit surprised that she said no, because he'd fully expected her to say yes. He wondered if she was worried people would think he was doing special things for her, and that was part of why she pushed so hard against him all the time. Seemed sort of silly, but he understood. "Yeah, okay. That's fair," he said with a smile. "Like your elevator idea?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her amusedly.
Nina thought it was a really kind offer but she couldn't accept it. She couldn't have special treatment. It would ruin everything she'd been fighting for. "Thank you," she said again. "It really is a nice offer. Maybe you can just sneak me out of meetings now and then instead," she suggested. She laughed, maybe a bit too much. "Okay, listen. That was a great idea. You know how romantic elevators are? Super romantic. Haven't you seen Grey's Anatomy?" she joked.
Leo laughed a bit and nodded. "I can do that," he said with a smile. He smiled fondly when she laughed like that. Boy, she was so cute. It was almost too much. "I'm still gonna try and make it happen for you!" he said playfully. "I haven't, actually. Am I missing out? The only potentially romantic thing about elevators is that it's a confined space. That's it!" he said with a laugh. They were getting close to the restaurant, which was probably a good thing.
Nina hoped he could make it happen. Trapping them in an elevator made so much sense to her. They'd be a little stressed and they'd have to turn to each other for comfort. "They can't hide from their feelings if they're trapped! It's still romantic! It's a common plot device for a reason, Leo," she laughed. "You're definitely not missing out. I don't even watch it anymore but it was cute in the beginning and elevators were a big part of that!"
Leo laughed again when she said that. They'd been hiding their feelings for years, he was certain they could continue to do that in an elevator. "If you say so!" he laughed, shaking his head amusedly at her. "Well, in that case, you'll just have to send me a compilation of elevator scenes," he said playfully. He parked when they arrived, going around to get her door for her. "It's a bit small," he said with a small laugh.
Nina thought it was worth a shot. She'd hate to be trapped in an elevator with Leo and her feelings. Her feelings that did not exist, she reminded herself. He was just cute, that was all. "I can do that. Though, I'm pretty sure his royal highness can search YouTube himself," she teased. She undid her seat belt and slipped out of the car with a thank you. "It's fine. I love small places. They're the kind that allow me to play."
Leo laughed and rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that," he teased back. "I could, but it'd be more fun to watch it with you," he added, shaking his head. He nodded a bit, glad she liked it, even if she wasn't going to be playing today. "Good, good. I'm glad you don't mind," he smiled. He opened the door for her, waiting for her to step in before going in himself. "Prince Leo! What a pleasure to see you. If you'd told me you were coming by, I would've made those muffins you like," a woman behind the counter said. "Oh, no need for that. You're very sweet, though," he smiled.
Nina rolled her eyes a little bit, trying to cover her fond. "Yeah, yeah. We can watch Grey's compilations together then," she agreed reluctantly. She thanked him again for getting the door and stepped out of the way while the worker spoke with him. He was cute, bringing her to a place that knew him. It was just a sweet thing. Her emotions were being tugged. "Do you come here a lot, Prince Leo?" she asked him playfully.
Leo smiled and nudged her. "See? More fun," he smiled. He laughed a bit at Nina's teasing, rolling his eyes playfully. "Yes, yes I do, thank you," he said playfully. "Oh, Prince Leo stops by as often as he can and buys as many treats as I have available and then takes them over to the immigration center for the children. Such a sweet boy, he is," the lady praised. Leo shook his head and waved a hand. "Oh, it's nothing. You're the one who bakes everything full of love," he said with a smile. "I'm only here for lunch today, but I would happily buy some treats to take back to the office," he offered.
Nina was not expecting that at all. In fact, she felt her jaw drop the smallest amount in surprise. He took treats to the children at the center? How did she not know that? How did no one know it? "Really? You do that?" she asked with a fond smile. She didn't like feeling smitten but she told herself that it was only a reaction to the story. She didn't even know what to say. "We should definitely take some treats back. That sounds delicious."
Leo nodded a bit but waved it off. It wasn't a big deal, and it was the least he could do. "Always so modest, but you have a heart of gold, Prince Leo. It's most certainly a good thing," she smiled. He laughed a bit and shook his head. "You're too much!" He thought everyone at the office would appreciate the treats. "We will." He stood back, looking over the day's menu. "The autumn stew is really good. The vegetable one is, too, if you want something lighter," he suggested to her.
Nina had to agree. He did have a heart of gold. Why didn't he show that side of him more instead of being so insufferable? Or was she just seeing what she wanted to see? She was confused! How was she going to make it through lunch with him now? She felt a little warm when he looked at her again and she cleared her throat a little bit. "Oh, autumn stew sounds wonderful. I'll take that," she told the woman. "Can I have a tea to go with it please?" she asked as she opened her purse.
Leo decided to get the same thing. "And uh, a muffin, if you have one. Any flavor you think is best," he said with a smile. "I'm treating you, remember?" he said with a smile, handing his money over. After he paid, he asked for a water cup, deciding he might want some iced water to go with his meal. "It's a nice place, right? And it feels very warm and comfortable, I think," he said as they went to get a table.
Nina felt a little flustered honestly. He was doing too much. She couldn't really process it. "Oh, right," she said dumbly. She put her money back in her bag and let it settle against her hip. "It's really nice. I can't believe I've never been here before," she admitted. She took a seat at the table they chose and folded her arms on the table. Was that too casual? She awkwardly sat back up. "So. The immigration center? Why don't people know about that?"
Leo didn't think many people had been here before. That was what made this place such a gem. Obviously enough came through for it to stay in business, but there weren't so busy that people swarmed him when he came in. "It's lovely. I'm glad you like it so much. It's sort of my own hidden little place," he said with a laugh. He put one arm on the table, stirring his ice water a bit absentmindedly. "Eh. It just makes everyone more comfortable if the media doesn't swarm the place."
Nina wasn't surprised by that. The place was very much a hidden gem. She wished she'd known about it sooner but she also actually really liked that he'd brought her somewhere that was so special to him. It made her feel a type of way. She was losing her mind. "It's a really lovely place. I like the atmosphere," she added. She watched him stirring his water, biting the inside of her cheek. "I guess so but that's something people would like to see, I'm sure."
Leo nodded in agreement. It felt like being at home. Or at least, it felt how he knew other people's homes felt. His childhood home and his current home alike felt nothing like this. "It's cozy," he said, smiling over at her. He shrugged a bit, clearing his throat and then sighing. "But why? I've shown my support for immigrants and refugees plenty. Do these children need to be bombarded? Does every good deed I do need to be public?" he said softly, shrugging a bit.
Nina figured that made sense. He did show his support often and loudly. This was just something for him, for them. It was too sweet. It was stressing her out. "No, no they don't. I understand why you do it," she explained. "And not everything needs to be public. I just," she paused, drawing a pattern on the table with her fingertips. "I don't know why you didn't tell me about it. I would have gone with you."
Leo watched as she focused her attention on the table, waiting to see what she was saying. He was grateful she understood where he was coming from. He knew that most people wouldn't. "It never came up. I don't really like bragging, and I feel like that comes off as bragging. Plus, you know, it's kind of been like pulling nails, getting you to do literally anything with me," he said with a playful smile.
Nina supposed she understood that too. It might seem like bragging. She just didn't get why he'd keep it a secret. "Okay, hang on. That's not fair," she laughed. "You're always on. It's not like you're showing the sweet side of yourself very often," she reminded him playfully. "If you were mentioning taking kids at the immigration center and asked me to go along it wouldn't be like pulling teeth."
Leo laughed, smiling brightly when she did. "I'm at work. Or at least, as close to at work as I get. Of course I'm on. Aren't you on at work?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her a bit. She never gave him a chance to show a different layer. He laughed again. "Yeah, because that's what I want. The only time you want to be around me is when children are involved," he teased, shaking his head at her.
Nina shook her head a little before laughing again. "It's not the same. And you aren't only on at work. You were on at Philip's party and at the flat after," she reminded him. "You only ever present that side, you know," she told him. She rolled her eyes playfully. "That's not fair and it's not exactly true, anyway. I'm here with you now. I went with you in your car after the party."
Leo didn't really think he was on at the flat after. "I was at the party, I'll give you that. But the only show I was putting on at the flat was to get them going, not you," he said honestly. "It's all part of me! It's a whole package kind of thing," he said with a laugh. He shrugged. It felt like that. She didn't actually want to hang out with him. "It's true enough," he pointed out. "You are. Only because it was part of a lie, but yeah. And you only did that to force Audrey and Philip together."
Nina sat back, straightening up and folding her hands in her lap. She wasn't so sure she believed him. Maybe if he wasn't always putting forward that side of him then she'd have realized her feelings for him sooner. "Yeah but you don't have to always be trying to wind me up," she informed him. "And that's not exactly fair. I could have sat in the park for lunch. I didn't have to come with you. If you have such a skewed opinion of me then why am I here?"
Leo rolled his eyes at her. "I'm not," he said honestly, giving her a look. "That's true. You could have," he agreed with a nod. "I don't have a skewed opinion of you! You don't want to hang out. That isn't an opinion. History shows that's how it is," he said with a laugh. "Good question. Why are you here?" he asked her. He figured it was so they could talk and plan more for their hopes to push Audrey and Philip together, but he wasn't really sure.
Nina didn't believe that for a moment. He was constantly trying to wind her up. She gave him a look right back. She didn't not want to hang out with him, she just didn't want to be subjected to that silly version of himself he was always putting forward. He was relentless with the flirting. It was too much. It stressed her out. "Because I wanted to hang out with you!" she blurted out. She realized what she'd said and felt her eyes widen a bit. "I just mean I want to be here."
Leo gave her a look, raising an eyebrow and smirking a bit. "Do you honestly think I believe you?" he said with a laugh. He was hoping that, overtime, she would want to hang out with him. But he didn't expect it now. "I figured it was because you wanted to talk about our friends and didn't want to let our friends know that we talk about them," he said with a grin. "I'm glad you do, though."
Nina folded her arms and gave him a look. "This is your problem, Leo. You thrive on being a shit. I can't even say that I want to hang out with you without you being an arse about it," she scoffed. Why was she even bothering? She wanted to go back to work. She didn't want to deal with her feelings now. "I'm sure they both know we talk about them. But fine, we can just talk about them and not about this. Oh, thank you so much," she said when their food and tea was brought over.
Leo shook his head a bit, amused by how she thought she knew him so well. "I don't. It's just how I am. Excuse me for reading all of the cues from over the past two years and not expecting you to actually want to spend time with me," he teased. "I think so, but I think they also think we're legitimately dating. They still don't see the chemistry between them, so they probably don't think we're plotting how to put them together," he said with a laugh. "Thank you," he said with a smile.
Nina made a face at him. "Well, I'm not lying to you! Or I wasn't when I said that but now I'm very much regretting it," she added. She frowned a little, unsure what they should do about that. "I don't know that Audrey really thinks we are but maybe we should use it to our advantage. That actually sounds like a lot of work," she realized with another frown. This was so much work. "I still say we trap them in the elevator," she said as she sipped her tea.
Leo laughed quietly at that. He wasn't really sure what to make of her sometimes. He just honestly didn't know what she thought or wanted or how she felt about him. "Sorry about that then," he teased, smiling at her. "Oh, I doubt she does. But Philip does," he said honestly. "We can make that happen," he said. He took a bite of his soup, looking up at her. "Do you like it then?" he asked curiously.
Nina dropped her spoon into her bowl of soup and stirred it. She was being so awkward and weird. She hated this. She wished Audrey was here. She wouldn't feel so out of place. "What? So we should just... lean into it? Keep flirting and all that in front of them?" She realized he was talking about the elevator and quickly made a face and shoved the bite of soup into her mouth. "It's really good."
Leo nearly chuckled, but didn't think she'd take too fondly to that. "Well, I meat we could make the elevator thing happen. But I mean, I already flirt with you in front of them, so it's no skin off my back," he said playfully. He took another bite, nodding a bit. He sipped his water. "It's amazing, isn't it? So homemade. I love it. I could eat here every day," he admitted with a laugh.
Nina ate another bite of soup and tried very hard not to blush. She was so embarrassed. She shifted a little in her seat and picked up her tea. "Well, you know, whatever," she managed finally before taking a sip. She wanted to leave. She was suffocating. "It is really good. It's such a unique soup. I've never had one this good before," she admitted. "Why don't you, then?"
Leo was a bit amused at how she was playing this off like it meant nothing. Surely she didn't really feel whatever, but if she wanted to go with that, he'd let it go. "You should come back sometime and also see if you could perform here," he suggested. "I think people would catch on if I came every day," he admitted. "Once a week or so is a nice treat," he added. He liked coming here. It was a happy place for him.
Nina was surprised by that suggestion. She looked around a bit and noticed there seemed to be a place to perform. "Oh, I don't know. I usually do pubs. I suppose I could play a more relaxed set if they'd have me," she mused. "Yeah, probably. Then it'd be impossible to get a table," she agreed. "I'm playing this weekend, by the way. I was going to invite Audrey and Philip. You can come too, if you want. Like we can try and set them up somehow."
Leo had to admit, he was a bit surprised by that. Nina definitely felt more like a soft, relaxed performer, not a late Saturday night pub performer. There was this whole other side to her it seemed. "I think you'd fit in here just perfectly," he admitted. "It would. And it's become less special. Selfish of me, I suppose, but," he trailed off, shrugging a shoulder. "Hm. I would love to see you perform. I'm sure we can find a way to push them together," he said with a chuckle.
Nina shrugged a little. She thought so too. "I just can't cover Truth Hurts here and that's usually my most popular one. I'd have to stick to originals and, like, a soft Ariana cover or someone," she laughed. She could understand that. "Not really all that selfish. I hate when my favorite places get ruined. It's why I never took Philip to them because I didn't want people crowding my place to see him," she admitted with another laugh. "I should write a song about them. Or find one to cover that strongly hints at their feelings."
Leo laughed at that and shook his head. "Everyone appreciates Truth Hurts. And I doubt that your fans would be here, since you'd be performing here for the first time. So it'd be alright if you didn't do your usual popular one," he teased. He shrugged a little. It was selfish. He didn't care, though. He needed some things in life that were just Leo's, not Prince Leo's. "Don't tell him that," he teased. "That's a really good idea. All you need to do is get one of them emotional."
Nina laughed a little. "My fans. I don't know if I'd call them fans," she teased. They were just people who came to the pubs shse was playing at. "I'll figure something out. I'll start brainstorming later," she decided. It shouldn't be too hard. She had years worth of material to go off of. "You could even slyly say that the song sounds like them in a roundabout way. Maybe that'll help snap them out of it."
Leo laughed when she did, shrugging a shoulder. "If they're the same people and they go when you perform, they're fans of a sort," he said with a smile. He nodded a bit. "Good idea," he said. He frowned a bit in thought, trying to think of how he could do that. He had a few ideas, depending on what she performed. "I'm sure I can pull that off. Are you going to show me their song first, or am I supposed to know which one fits them?" he asked playfully.
Nina wasn't so sure about that but she wouldn't argue. She just didn't think anyone was really that dedicated to seeing her. Her shows were so small and rather short. "If you say so," she smiled. She took a bite of soup as she thought. "I guess I could play it for you before I play it for them. That way you know which one to talk about," she teased. "Imagine you say it about a song about something off topic."
Leo thought that was a good idea. He didn't really feel like he knew what her music was like, and he'd be kind of embarrassed if he thought one was about them when it wasn't. "Sounds like a plan to me," he smiled. He laughed, shaking his head. "They'd be like 'No, Leo, we know what that song is about and you're wrong,' and I'd be like 'Oh haha,'" he laughed, taking another bite.
Nina laughed when he did. "Yeah, that'd be so embarrassing for you," she teased. "Though, it might end up with them bonding over teasing you," she joked. "But I won't be able to participate in that so let's aim for you not doing it," she laughed. She hummed slightly, trying to think of an idea for the song. She had a few days before the show. "We'll figure it out. I think we have some good ideas for getting them together."
Leo laughed at her idea of getting them to bond over teasing him. "Maybe I'll do that with a different song then," he said with a laugh. "And towards the end, when you can participate," he teased with a wink. He nodded in agreement. They did have a lot of good ideas. He just wanted them to be happy, even if them getting together meant Nina would likely stop spending time with him.
Nina grinned at him. "Aw, thanks. I feel so special," she joked. She really thought this could work. They could get Philip and Audrey together. They made a pretty good team when they were coming up with plans together. She had another bite of soup and then picked up her tea. "I think, as a last resort, you're going to have to set Philip up on a date with someone," she frowned.
Leo frowned a bit at that suggestion. He wasn't really in any kind of a hurry to do that. What if, and this was a big if, but what if Philip actually fell in love with that person? He didn't like that idea at all. "Why would I do that?" he asked curiously. He didn't really want to set him up on a date, but if she insisted that they would have to, then he would. He was sure she knew more than he did, anyway.
Nina shrugged a bit. "I don't know! Last resort! Like if it's been a year and neither of them have made a move and we've trapped them in six elevators! Maybe he'll go on the date and be like, this is terrible and Audrey will see he's been on a date and be like, this is terrible. And then they end up together!" she exclaimed. "If we can't get them happy together even after that we'll just have to trick them into signing a marriage license."
Leo made a face. "Do you really think they won't make a move, even after we tell them we know they have feelings for one another?" he asked. He didn't know this situation as well as he maybe thought he did. "I suppose that could work, but I'd hate to hurt them to push them together," he said honestly. He laughed a bit. "I doubt my mum would like that all too much," he said honestly.
Nina held her hands up in surrender. "I don't know! They're both being so stubborn. I mean, I really think the elevator will work but just in case, we need a last resort plan. Obviously I don't want to do it and I don't want them or some random girl to be hurt but, like, if everything else fails we have to do something extreme." Didn't they? Didn't they owe their friends that? "Well, they'll end up married either way. They can still have a ceremony. Just, you know, after."
Leo had finished his soup, and knew they needed to get back to work, but he was enjoying her company. "Then we'll have to try the elevator and hope it works. We'll just try a lot of things and hope one of them eventually pushes them together," he said with a sigh. He laughed a bit, shaking his head. "That's not how the rules work," he exclaimed. He glanced at his watch before stretching a bit. "I think we should probably get headed back."
Nina hoped it worked. She'd come up with something. They had to get them together. "Yeah, alright. Something will work. It has to," she sighed. She didn't know how much longer should watch them be miserable. "Who cares about the rules? They're going to get married anyway!" she insisted. She frowned a little bit but nodded. "Yeah, fair enough. I can't be late back to work," she sighed.
Leo agreed with that. He wanted them to be together. They seemed pretty content as friends, but if they were this happy just being friends, he couldn't imagine how ecstatically happy they'd be if they just admitted their feelings for one another. "Agreed," he said. Hopefully they wouldn't find out about each other's feelings and still not become a couple, or worse, break up. "If you say so, Nina," he said with a laugh. "Yeah, I know. Though we are bringing treats for them, which I think does gain us a few minutes."
Nina finished her tea and stood up to stretch a little bit. She'd had a really nice time with him, though she hated to admit it. He was confusing her feelings. "Hopefully we don't get in trouble. Well, of course you won't," she laughed. "Maybe I'll use that to my advantage. You can tell my boss it's your fault," she teased. She tidied her spot and walked to the counter with him. "Which one is your favorite?"
Leo didn't think they'd get in trouble if they brought back treats. Everyone loved treats! "You won't either. You're bringing back treats!" he exclaimed. He laughed a bit and shook his head. "Obviously I'll take the fall. Don't worry," he teased back. He picked their things up, tossing the trash as they walked back up to the counter. "I like the cranberry orange muffin best, but they're out today. All the muffins are good, really. And those little rhubarb cakes are good. And I like the pillow cookies. It's all good, really," he laughed.
Nina laughed a little. "You're bringing back the treats. I'm just an accomplice here," she teased. Why was it easy now? She actually wanted to flirt with him. It was gross. "Aw, thanks. My hero," she said playfully. She looked over all of the treats, trying to decide which she thought looked the best. "I love muffins. My mum makes almond poppyseed ones for me all the time," she smiled fondly. "I'll let you try a tiny bite sometime. Oh, look at that blueberry one, it looks like it's looking at us," she laughed.
Leo shook his head. "Oh no, you're bringing back treats," he said with a smile. He laughed, doing a little showy bow. "You're quite welcome, darling." He raised an eyebrow a little when she mentioned letting him try some, but didn't let her see it. "I'd be honored," he said, smiling at her. "A blueberry muffin for you, then," he grinned. He ordered a bunch, getting them paid for as he waited for them to package them up. "Here you go," he said, handing her her muffin now.
Nina rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah," she laughed. Everyone would know they were from him. She waited while he ordered the treats, leaning against the counter a bit. He wasn't that bad. She was just an idiot. "Oh, why thank you," she said as she took the muffin. She broke off a piece of it to try and chewed it thoughtfully. "This might be the best blueberry muffin I have ever had," she admitted.
Leo nodded and smiled. "You're welcome," he said. He took a bite as she did, but kept his eyes trained on her to see how she felt about it. "It is delicious, isn't it? It's not dry, but it still has the almost crunch on top. I love it," he said, taking another bite. He could spend lunch with her every day if she'd let him, but he knew she would never. What a shame, he thought. They had such chemistry, no matter how she tried to deny it.
Nina really liked the muffin. She wanted to come back here again but she'd feel weird doing it without Leo. It was his place that he'd shown her. She couldn't exactly come back with someone else. "It is. It's perfectly balanced and the muffin to blueberry ratio is spot on," she said as she took another bite. She'd had a surprisingly good time today. It had been weird but it had been nice. "Thanks for lunch. And the muffin."
Leo nodded in agreement. It was a great muffin. So sweet and tart, but not too sweet or tart. He always could go for a muffin. "I agree completely," he said. He finished the muffin, tossing the paper in the trash. "You're welcome. And you're welcome. Thank you for coming with me," he smiled. "Oh, I think that's us," he said with a laugh, stepping forward to pick up some of the muffins. "Do you want to grab some, too?" he asked her.
Nina didn't mind standing here eating muffins with him. It was nice. He was nice. Ugh, why was he so nice sometimes? "You're welcome," she smiled back. She tossed out her muffin paper and nodded a bit. "Yeah, of course. I can carry things," she laughed. She grabbed the rest of the muffins carefully and started towards the door. "Oh," she said, turning back to the women they'd spoken to earlier. "Everything here was really great. Thank you so much," she said pleasantly.
Leo nodded for one of his guards to get the door for them, thanking him. He stopped before he stepped out, smiling when Nina thanked the owner. "It was wonderful, as always. Thank you," he praised. "I'm always happy to feed you both. I'm glad you enjoyed it," she said back. "Have a good day," she added. "Thanks. You, too," he smiled before stepping out. He put the boxes in the trunk of the car, then took the boxes from Nina and put them in the car, too. "Alright, we're all set then," he smiled.
Nina smiled at the woman again and wished her well. She'd been so kind. No wonder Leo loved this place. She waited while Leo took the boxes from her with a small smile on her face. "Yeah, all set. Back to work, ugh," she said playfully. She looked at his guards. "I'll make sure you guys get muffins too," she promised before moving to get in the car. Though she was rue to admit it, this had been one of her best lunch breaks maybe ever.
Leo laughed at the way she said that and nodded. "Ah, yes, back to the joys of work," he said with a grin. He shot her a playful look. Did she think his guards never ate? Of course they got all the good food he got. Or most, anyway. At home they got a separate, but sometimes better, meal. He went around to his door, getting and buckled and waiting for everyone else to, too. "Ready?" he asked her, smiling over at her.
Nina shrugged at the look he'd given her. She was just being friendly! Goodness, she thought. She buckled herself in and checked the time on her phone. They'd certainly make it back in time which was a relief to her. She didn't want to hear gossip if she was late. "Yeah, I'm ready," she told him. She took a compact out of her purse to check her lipstick and snapped it shut. "I think we planned quite a bit today."
Leo pulled out of the parking lot, heading back towards the UN. He'd had a lot of fun with her, even if he was still quite unsure how she felt about it all. She was a confusing person sometimes, but he liked her all the same. "I think so, too. We can work on getting them in motion. Maybe if we do enough at once, they'll be forced to face the reality of their feelings," he suggested.
Nina tapped her fingers against her thigh as they made their way back to work. She kind of wanted to suggest they not go back but that wasn't an option. He'd think she was losing her mind if she suggested it. Besides, they had boxes of muffins in the back. "I'm sure we can. I'm feeling more optimistic now. I think it's the muffin," she joked. "Really, though, I think sending positive vibes will help."
Leo couldn't help but let out a laugh at that, though he nodded. "Definitely the muffin. They're magic!" he exclaimed. He was feeling good about it, too. Or, pretty good, at least. He just thought that they could be in control enough to meddle and make something work. They had the upper hand. They both knew they had feelings and could finagle anything, he was sure of it. "I think we can make it work. I think, if anyone can make it work between them, it's the two of us."
Nina laughed quietly. "Magic muffins," she teased. "What a concept." She knew they had to pull this off or she feared Audrey and Philip would never get together. It was up to them to push them together. They could figure out how to manage it. "Who knows them better than us? No one. We can definitely do this. They won't suspect a thing. Well, actually they will but they'll thank us once they're a couple," she grinned.
Leo laughed, grinning over at her for a second. "Am I wrong?" he teased. If any muffin were magic, it would be that one. He had to agree with that. If anyone could get them to fall in love, it was definitely the two of them. "We can do this. They will definitely suspect a thing, but it'll be worth it. They'll definitely be thankful," he agreed. He wanted them to be happy, that was all. No one could stay mad at them for that.
Nina rolled her eyes playfully, biting back a smile. "No, maybe just this once you aren't," she teased. She turned to look out the window so she could actually smile and nearly laughed at herself for being so foolish. What was wrong with her? "Yeah, it'll so be worth it. I can't wait. This has been like waiting for your favorite characters on a show to get together for seven years but it's real life so it's way more excruciating," she laughed.
Leo couldn't help but laugh again. She was so reluctant to agree with him, even when he was right. "At least you can agree with me now," he teased. He laughed again. That was a pretty good comparison, honestly. "This must be torture for you. I've only been in this for a little over two years, and I'm going mad," he said. He didn't know why they were fighting it so much when it seemed so obvious to him that they were right for each other.
Nina looked over at him with a slight grin before focusing on the road again. "It's been the worst. I mean, when he was gone it wasn't so bad because yeah, she was moping around but at least they weren't moping sad, puppy eyes at each other. Now he's back and I want to smash their faces together," she laughed. "God, I hate it. Imagine being that stubborn." Pot meet kettle, she thought, but she kept that to herself.
Leo laughed a bit when she said she moped around. "I told him about the moping. He didn't believe it was about him," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure they're just scared, but it kills me to think that they're both so in love with each other and they're wasting time thinking the other doesn't feel the same," he admitted. "If it comes to it, we'll smash their faces together," he laughed. He shook his head, shrugging a shoulder. "I can't! I would never."
Nina rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Why are they like this?" she whined. "He's so dense. How could he think it was friendly moping if I wasn't staring off into the distance every minute with a forlorn look? He's so dense," she said again. "Every time they try to say it's all friendly between them it's almost insulting to me! Like, what am I then?" she laughed. "It doesn't make any sense. They're so ridiculous it makes me mad."
Nina was timed out 18 days ago
Leo shrugged. He really didn't know, but he felt like he'd explode if he had to go much longer with them denying their feelings for each other. "No, he just thought she was stressed about other things. 'Oh, she just graduated uni, things are hard.' 'Oh, she just is getting used to seeing her mum and Martin all the time.' 'Oh, this job is just hard.' Like, c'mon Philip. He's so full of it," he said, shaking his head. He laughed, nodding a bit. "Yeah, that would be a bit insulting. If you aren't a third wheel, then what are you?" he teased. "I know. They're very frustrating. I don't know how you've put up with it," he said honestly.
Nina rolled her eyes. Philip was so absurd sometimes. "Again, terrible excuses. I was going through the exact same thing as Audrey! Minus dating a pompous arse named Dalton," she exclaimed. "They just forget I exist is what it is," she teased. "They can claim it's friendship all they want but I'm literal proof that it's not. Philip hardly said two words to me his first night back. Why, you ask? Oh, he was busy making sad boy eyes. The nerve," she scoffed playfully. "I should stop talking to the both of them to see if either even notices."
Leo shook his head, rolling his eyes with her. They were ridiculous. âAt least she didnât date him the entire time. I couldnât have stood having him around that much,â he said with a soft laugh. He knew it was worse for her. He let out a really genuine, amused laugh. He laughed a bit more, shaking his head. âHow can he even pretend when heâs so obvious? Why is he even lying to himself and us?â he said, shaking his head. He shrugged a little. âTheyâd notice. Especially Audrey. You do live together. Anyway, who else can she talk to about Philip?â he teased.
Nina let out a groan. "Can you imagine? I think I would have lost my mind," she laughed. "He was the worst." It actually made her sad for Audrey when she thought about it. "He's so bloody obvious! His pining puppy eyes glazing over forlornly. I'm sure the only person who can't see how mad he is for her is Audrey and that's only because her pining puppy eyes are glazed over!" she insisted. "Ridiculous." She let out a laugh and shrugged. "Fair enough. I'll keep talking to them. I have to play it cool around Philip anyway or I'd ruin it all."
Leo nodded in agreement. There was just something about him that just didnât sit right. He couldnât explain it. âHe was!â he agreed easily. He laughed and nodded, because she was absolutely right. âYouâre right! Youâre right! Theyâre the most ridiculous pair Iâve ever known,:â he said, shaking his head. He felt like they had a solid plan. âHopefully weâll get them together soon and then we wonât have to worry about them anymore,â he settled with. He pulled up to their building, letting out a sigh. âWell, here we are.â
Nina just wished they'd get together already. Then again, what would she focus on when she wasn't playing matchmaker? That was going to be a dilemma. "They really are. I'm over them," she laughed. "I hope so. It'll be such a change once they are, though. All the plotting will stop," she reminded him. "I was just thinking about what I'm going to do with all of my free time," she joked. She looked up at the building and felt her smile slip for a split second. "Better get the muffins in and back to work."
Leo hoped it wouldnât feel weird when they got together. He also hoped that they never ever broke up, because he didnât think that would go well for any of them. âIt will. If you think youâre a third wheel now,â he teased, nudging her gently. âYeah, I know. What will we talk about?â he teased. He nodded a bit, starting to get out of the car. âEveryone will love us so much,â he said with a laugh.
Nina laughed a little and shot him a look. "I hadn't really thought of that. Ugh, the worst," she joked back. She wasn't really sure what they'd talk about. It'd be easier if they didn't talk at all, she thought, but she was attached to him now. "Politics and the weather," she teased as she started to get out of the car. "Everyone already loves you," she laughed. "But I'm sure the muffins will be a nice sweetener."
Leo made a face and nodded a bit. âYeah, itâll probably involve a lot of you watching them do that gross thing couples do where they like rub their faces on each other and talk quietly,â he said, laughing a little. He laughed loudly at that and nodded. âSounds fun,â he teased. âThey do not! Why are you like this? Just let me be excited about bringing people muffins! People like muffins!â he said playfully.
Nina shot him a horrified look. "Do not. Oh, gross. Why would you even put that image in my head?" she laughed, pushing his arm. "I hate that I'm still picturing it." She rolled her eyes a bit. "Well, unfortunately for you, that's the best I can offer," she joked. She grinned as she took half of the muffins to carry up. "Yeah, okay, your highness," she teased. "It'll be all about the muffins and not at all about you."
Leo laughed hard at the way she reacted, clutching his side. âSorry, Iâm sorry! If I have to suffer with the idea of them being all mushy gushy so do you. I donât make the rules,â he said with another laugh. He shrugged a shoulder, smiling over at her. âI think I can manage with that alright,â he promised. He started carrying the muffins in, rolling his eyes at her. âIâve been here for what, two years? I think most people are used to me. The novelty wears off, you know,â he teased, shaking his head playfully at her.
Nina tried to look annoyed with him but his reaction had her laughing. "You're the absolute worst, Leo," she grinned. "Making me suffer. How dare you!" She wasn't so sure he'd still want to hang around her once their friends became a couple. It made her a little sad in a way that she proceeded to bury away. "Maybe," she agreed. "It's still fun to tease you about, though," she added playfully.
Leo grinned from ear to ear at the way she was so obviously trying to be annoyed but just wasnât. He wasnât the worst, whether she could admit that or not. He knew he got under her skin sometimes, but he thought she actually liked his company often enough. He shook his head, still smiling. âYouâre really something else,â he teased. He got the door, holding it for her and then following her in. âThank you for coming to lunch with me.â
Nina rolled her eyes playfully. She was much more comfortable with him now. It was strange how one lunch had accomplished that. All she wanted was for things to revert to the way they were, or so she told herself. "So you've told me," she joked. She walked into the building ahead of him and tried not to show too much when he spoke again. "I mean, I didn't have much choice but it was nice. Nicer than eating at work. Thanks, you know, for paying."
Leo really meant it, that was why he kept saying it. She was unlike other people, both in the way she was and the way she made him feel, whether she had any idea or not. He laughed a bit and nodded. âThanks anyway. And no problem at all. It was my pleasure,â he insisted. He knew she had to go back to work, and he wasnât going to keep her any longer now. He didnât want her to get in trouble or become upset with him.
Nina didn't really know what to say. She felt conflicted. She didn't want to go back to work but was that because it was work or because she was having too much fun with him? "Well, still. Thanks for paying. And for showing me that place since it seems to, you know, mean a lot to you. I had a really good time," she smiled. "I should get to work but, yeah, thanks." She walked ahead of him, feeling slightly awkward.
Leo found himself wanting to reach out and pull her into an embrace or something, but he didnât think that would be appropriate and he knew she wouldnât appreciate it. Instead, he smiled warmly at her and gave her a little nod. âOf course. I had a really good time. And Iâm glad you liked it as much as I do,â he added. âHave a good rest of your day. I hope your coworkers like the muffins,â he added, smiling as she walked off before turning to go do what he needed to do.
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The Principles of Excelence - PREME
    Also known as 20 principles (Because you need to have the 10 basic ones for these to have some significant effect), these were designed and perfected to make you a sort of a genius. Not really an Einstein but definately standing out from 99% of the population if not more (Results are really inconclusive here because there are so few people who reach these milestones I canât even research them correctly. Results here are solely based on logic reasoning and evidence from what I observe from me and 3 other friends of mine). Also valid to anyone but most useful to people who love their work.
1 - Self Learner at his/her favorite specific area (Inside Science, Arts and Philosophy)
About 20% of the people researched had an area in which they liked to study by themselves, but keep in mind... Iâm talking about borderline self learner. Most people had hobbies and things they enjoyed doing and knew a bit more than the average person but few of them grasped a professional level of the skill. Also, keep in mind that no one had all the basic principles, which hurts a lot the use of the principles of excelence(The ones presented here).
To acquire this one, you must take the first step into becoming a self learner. Studying at least through wikipedia, youtube and using at least 6 of the 9 types of teachers (Refering to the types of teacherâs theory here). This is also about conditioning. Training yourself to be, at the very least, the best and using different tools to measure your progress (Even if itâs done subjectively) such as competing internally with someone you know or admire from afar. Do this until you map everything there is to know in the area. For instance, in Education I need to understand Neurology, Pedagogy, Andragogy, Geragogy, Heutagogy, Epistemology and the art of teaching on a very deep level to consider myself a well travelled educator.
If you fail this one, everything else is going to be either useless or just mildly helpful, as itâs not gonna give you the individuality enough to detach yourself from other people who just donât study.
2 - Impossible to break your self esteem (Insults, constant failures, hard situations...)
Out of 68 people, only 2 had an actual unbreakable self-esteem. Itâs understandable because of the dificulties you can find on this one such as depression, bullying and traumas. These can all make your climb a little rougher than it is for someone who doesnât have these problems.
To be capable of having AND maintaining an unbreakable self esteem you need to look at your problems from a perspective of âHow can I absolutely obliterate this problem to the point on negative existence?â. You must see every single problem you have as an obstacle to be demolished and turned into pasta by your own self, but of course, that also requires training and conditioning. To train that youâre going to need to tackle problems in every possibility and make sure youâre eating, sleeping and thinking well to actually muster the energy to do so in such intensity.
If you fail this one, your learning is going to suffer as depression creeps in, axiety feeds itself on your problems and people around you start to demoralize you away from your goals. Itâs a horrible thing to see something like this happen when you donât have any of these principles, imagine a full blown self learner giving in to such events. Tragic at the very least.
3 - Scientifically active
This is by far the most common on this list because the research has been done in people generally in their college years. 61% of people are in constant contact with some area of science. But then again, itâs College âScienceâ mostly. I admit defeat on the formulation of this question but if it serves of any cleansing, from my observations (I litterally asked everyone about every single item after the research was finished) I can remember of 20-ish people who are into some kind of science but none of them are actively going for it. Just sort of absorbing easy content. Not really critically thinking about every scientific article they read... in many cases not really thinking about any article they read. Most of them donât read beyond the headline, oh my god humanity is doomed D:
To be properly active in regards to science you need to plan your studying or at least have a plan being followed intuitively. Not intuitively watching stuff.. Having. A plan. Being. Followed. Intuitively. Pay very close attention to those words because I mean it in every tiny technicality. Now this is also something that requires a bit of love and conditioning to what youâre doing. You need to look at every article as if they were trying to mislead you from the actual truth. Not only because this is often (Very often) the case but because this is going to make your argumentaation skills and reasoning skills a bit more robust when it comes to criticizing your own fallible brain. Once your realize how much and how often scientific articles lead us to the wrong or very questionable conclusions, itâs easy to be skeptical of all of them.
If you fail this, you will be ever more prone into falling for something such as Reike (Which claims to be quantum phisics but BOY AINâT THAT A BLATANT LIE). Also, your knowledge is not really going to progress in terms of knowing what happens in fact. You might be great at applying techniques or intuitively applying what you already know but without your constant re-evaluation, these skills only leave you at a mediocre pro level.
4 - Has a plan where the worst case scenarios always happen and you are still fine.
10 out of 68 of the researched people said they knew exactly what to do in case everything goes wrong. Once again. None of those have got here without failing at least 5 principles. But to be perfectly fair and honest I do not know how true this is. I just imagine that if people donât have their lives planned, theyâre not going to have the worst case scenario planned. That would exclude 64 out of the 68 people. This plan is about considering the worst case and planning a way to make the worst case scenario be lucrative (Libertarian meaning of lucrative here).
To acquire that you only need meditation and rational planning. Think about your job opportunities, how much money youâre going to make (Worst case) and how much you need to survive and get by without losing any of the principles or losing yourself to desperate measures. You only get to live once, so itâs better to plan each charted course and each careful step along the byway.....If you caught that reference, please message me. To condition yourself to plan you gotta see your life as batman sees the fate of the planet. He has a plan to kill/neutralize every member of the justice league in case they go rogue. That is why I informally call this principle the âbatman vaccineâ. Because you plan your life just like batman plans his missions. Always 10 steps ahead.
If you fail this principle thereâs no telling if your plans are going to be realized any time soon. Are you going to leave it on the hands of lady luck and pray for everything to work? News for you buddy, god doesnât care about your plan. Make sure you remember that.
5 - Has a lucrative plan to follow (Open a business, plan a big shot at success or anything of the sort)
Nobody did this one. But realistically speaking, this is the hardest of them all. Preparing a plan in case you hit success and be prepared for it? Not even successful people are ready once it hits them. But thereâs a saying that you need to remember for this one. âLuck is when opportunity meets preparationâ.Â
To acquire this one you have to plan, test, research and plan again until you polish everything. Ask opinions from experts and non-experts to know what they think about it, your family, etc... Every opinion helps and if you manage to get a specialized one, perfect. But that requires more than just dedication and conditioning. It also requires a metric fuckton of time to study all the probabilities and come up with something that is realistically very good. This means that when people are just chilling you MUST be studying or at least meditating on your opportunities to come up with a better plan. Then you have to polish it a lot. I, for instance, spent 10 hours of my day doing that for some solid 5 years give or take. So, again. This is not easy but itâs something that needs to be done in order to produce wealth (Not money).
If you fail this one, everything you worked for so far is going to feel underused. Itâs going to help a lot and itâs certainly going to take you places but nothing is going to make you more proud than a good carefully planned...plan...This sort of motivation is going to be lacking. Also, itâs a good amount of dopamine each time you get a positive answer from someone who you asked the opinion on it.
6 - Free of jealousy, hatred, possessiveness, authoritharianism and social constructs that lead to limiting the freedom of others in any way.
No one passes this one. The majority of people passed possessiveness, less people passed hatred, even less people passed authoritarianism but no one could beat jealousy. Although Jealousy varies from person to person and 2 people can live with jealousy all their lives, it would be unwise of me to cut it out since it is something that limits your your freedom as well. Also it makes you feel bad.
To acquire this one you need tons of conditioning because social constructs are not easy to get rid of due to the amount of positive reinforcement we receive everytime we do them (Even possessiveness has a niche where it is acceptable and welcome). First you need to rationally look at each one and ask yourself:Â âWhat does this do to me and the people around me?â. If you have freedom as a principle of yours it should be easy to reach the conclusion that they are all bad. Some worse, some less worse, but in the end all bad. And everytime someone recompensates you for a toxic behaviour you need to either stop yourself at the moment and think about it or take it to the bed and meditate on why you did it before sleeping. (Only do the second one if you have good control of your sleep, otherwise you might lose some sleeping hours.
If you fail this, youâre probably not gonna be a very good person to be around because of all the things you push into people. Some people can take it no problem, but itâs always better not to. You may even become the classic utilitarianist villain who wishes well to the world but does absolute harm. (Thanos is a good recent example of it)
7 - Able to use the Non-Violent Comunication from Mashall Rosemberg.
Surprisingly, 5 people out of 68 knew about it, but itâs understandable for people not to have or be able to use because of how specific it is but in reality, some people do it naturally because itâs something that we evolved to do well. Marshall Rosemberg explains the dynamic of it very well. Itâs a way to solve personal conflicts. The objective is to understand what a judgment is, avoid it and express exclusively needs and feelings while taking responsability for your own feelings.
To acquire that, youâre gonna need to watch the man or ask someone who already knows how it works (Maybe a psychologist). After that youâre gonna be looking at everything and extracting the feeling and the need behind the judgment which really helps you become a more peaceful person. Train that skill so that you never get into a personal conflict again. Doesnât require so much time in fact. A few days of practice should be more than enough, but it gets perfected with time.
If you fail this one, aside from still having personal behavioral conflicts bursting here and there, you might use judgmental words to describe things or people and that takes away the responsability you need to have towards your own feelings. Also itâs going to hurt your descriptions of anything cause you wonât be 100% accurate when differentiating subjective, judgmental and objective words and affirmations.
8 - Is always looking for the truth, not confirmations to oneâs own beliefs.
Alright, so how can I even tell if someone is looking for confirmation, not the truth? Simple, itâs on how they start a debate or discussion. Whenever you start a discussion with certainty, it shows the lack of your questioning. For example: We want to discuss weather we should allow people to buy guns or not. If the person starts the conversation with an affirmation saying âI think we should because (...) Donât you think?â This person is looking for confirmation. If the person starts the debate with something along the lines of âWhy should we ban it?â it means the person is willing to listen the otherâs opinions and evidences. This looks like a given but very few people actually approach a problem looking at it with an investigative mindset. The scientific mindset, to be specific.
To acquire this you just need to rationalize it. Most people are very accepting to the idea of being convinced to the other side, at least on the discourse. You can just start every discussion with a question, instead of an affirmation. A question is gonna give you much more information. Always confirm what you understood with the person like âLet me see if I got it right, (say what you understood)â. Do it everytime you wanna debate something and you should be conditioned in a few months.
If you fail this one, what is to say that your ideas are true? What if youâre believing in a lie? A misunderstanding? Misinformation? Indoctrination? It is one of the most crucial skills and one of the few who pay off really well regardless of what other principles you have. Of course, if you have the other principles, your studies are going to be of absolute quality.
9 - Pushes the boundaries between what is known, not known and misknown subjectively (Be it in art, science or philosophy)
This is a privilege of very few people but itâs actually the core lesson of properly learning. You have to look at everything with a grain of salt. What usually happens is people try to learn something and they go to the most respected people in the area but this is NOT the first step you should be taking. Doubt is an essential part of learning.
To be able to do that, you gotta deconstruct the idea that your teacher/professor is telling you the truth (Which, from my personal experience, is rarely the case). Humans are fallible and so are your teachers, besides, his views are probably shadowed by his own beliefs and values. He doesnât come into class asking what you think of something, nor starts the class with an investigative mindset. (If he does, heâs a good teacher going very much against what he is supposed to in our current common educational system). Youâre the one who has to go after it. Donât trust opinions. Donât trust facts! Instead, investigate how someone reached a certain conclusion and see if that is enough for you to reach the same conclusion, if itâs not, make an argument against it, present to other people, debate and discuss, look for more evidence. If you learned by trusting facts because the academia or someone respected said so, start from scratch and do all of this one time. Whenever you feel like it, do it again. Do it enough times and youâll be thriving of your own education.
If you fuck this up............................BOI. Youâll be just like everyone whoâs attending college, only a little more knowledgeable about things, but since you wonât be able to say how you reached every single one of your conclusions, they will be effectively worthless if you want to make any progress. They will add up to the fallacy of appeal to authority once you leave college though..
10 - Understands and speaks the world most spoken language (Currently english)
Now, people are very familiar with english, at least in Brazil. They can mostly understand it really well, speaking is the real problem. Itâs important to understand english nowadays because most of what the planet has to offer in terms of information is written in english.
To learn that youâre gonna need to change your mindset of studying because unless youâre studying something specifically for one Brazilian or your native countryâs region such as in the cases of studying the history of a specific place but then again, how important is that when compared the the whole fucking planet? Basically you need to understand that everything you look for is going to be better in english. From youtube to wikipedia to google, people from all around the globe produce english content. So change your research habits to english, your cultural preference to english (Be honest they already are) and get some friends from around the globe. Facebook, omegle, even habbo counts... Reddit would be the best choice though.
If you donât learn english youâre going to be missing out 90% of what science, arts and philosophy have to offer to you and I believe that is bad enough.
Now letâs say you worked your ass off and got everything rationalized, conditioned and tested. How can one go beyond that? First of all, my goddamn congratulations for you cause that is definately not an easy or fast task. Now besides having access to all of that information, knowing how to learn properly and learning how to live life to the fullest in every sense... Go specialize yourself even further. Try to be the best at something. Now, enjoy your life, start your carreer and wait for the principles of the specialist to be posted here. At least there are just 8 of them.
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Man Utd need Ndidi, and a solution to the Haaland problemâŠ
Your mails donât have to be about Man Utd but keep them coming anyway. Send mails to [email protected]⊠Haaland sorted Erling Haaland to Chelsea? Simple! Dortmund want to keep him for another year. Chelsea want to pay up now to avoid a bidding war next summer when Haalandâs release clause kicks in. Thereâs a simple solution! Why donât Chelsea give them ÂŁ100 this summer to buy him but then loan him back to Dortmund for the upcoming season. Dortmund get what they want and Chelsea get what they want. Bing! Bang! Bosh! Thanks. Tim (CFC) Ireland Varane and Sancho not enough As happy I am at Manchester United signing Varane â with weeks left in the transfer window no less â I still donât believe there will be a massive difference. Unless a top class defensive midfielder is signed, it will be more of the same⊠flattering to deceive. Varane is used to be playing with top level defensive midfielders both at Real and for France. I wonder how shocked heâll be when he has McFred infront of him running around looking busy but not actually defending anything. With Leicester signing Soumare youâd think they are already ready for Ndidi leaving. Perhaps we could test the waters? I also would not mind Kessie from AC Milan who i watched run our midfield over two legs. Just keep Declan Rice away from Old Trafford. Longsight Lad F365 Says: Ole canât go balls out with Varane alone The Pogba conundrum A lot of people have surmised that Paul Pogba has played well in multiple teams, such as Juve and France, or he has only played well when supported by high class talents. Some may say that the quality on offer in Italy is not as good, or perhaps the quality when he was there. Some may say that next to Kante, any midfielder will look better. So letâs break it down. Truth goes first. Pogba left England at a young age and went to Juventus. He joined the Italian champions, who would win the title in each of his four seasons. This is where the Real/Mythical Pogba was born. All action midfielder, very dynamic, given a license to roam and capable of a nice thunderbastard. Here, he flourished. This is true. During his career representing France, he has lost the Euro 2016 final at home to Portugal, and won the 2018 world cup vs Croatia. For France, he has looked almost as dangerous as he did for Juve, despite playing in a more tactically disciplined role. He is tasked with pulling the strings and sending those long balls for Mbappe, Griezmann and Dembele to chase. His first 3 games of the Euroâs showed exactly what he is capable of. This is true. At United, he doesnât appear to be the Real/Mythical Pogba, why? Like most things, the proof lies in the details. At Juve, he had the honor of having the leadership and skills of Buffon in nets, a back three of Chiellini, Bonucci & Barzagli, flanked by Lichsteiner and Alex Sandro, with the mercurial Pirlo in front of them to protect. Alongside Pogba, were the box-to-box abilities of Vidal/Marchisio. This gave Pogba an outrageous amount of protection, while at the same time allowing him to be the man to dribble forward with the ball, take that long shot, attempt those long passes, safe in the knowledge he has an army of experienced defenders behind him. It made him worth 85M. Now, for France he does not appear to be as dynamic or dangerous, but not one bit less necessary for the team. With the previously mentioned three, and others, Pogba does not need to make the runs forward he would normally do at Juve. He is instead tasked with using his passing range and carrying the ball forward. It has evidently worked and it has evidently not. He has won the WC, His mistake cost them in the last Euroâs. For protection here, he has Lloris in nets, Varane and Kimpembe/Umtiti at CB with Hernandez and Pavard at fullback(Two defenders who can play CB) and he would partner with Kante and Matuidi(World cup winners) or just Kante( Euros). United in this time has not come close to either teamâs level of quality when it comes to adequate protection for a player like Pogba. He has never had a midfield partner to the standard of Pirlo/Vidal/Kante and he has not had the quality of experience at the back either to match Chielini/Bonucci/Varane. This year may be different. If United could sign, letâs say, Ndidi. Pogba would have an experienced goalkeeper, experienced quality CBâs and fullbacks, midfield partners who have the discipline to protect him and forwards who will move into the spaces necessary. However, PSG would be the better choice for him. He has the quality goalkeeper in Donnarumma, a back three of Ramos, Marquinhos and Kimpembe. Bernat and Hakimi at fullback are great options. Gini can be their Vidal, Veratti can be their Pirlo. Add in the forwards, Neymar, Mbappe and Icardi, and you have a team that can more than match the ability of his successful Juve side. This all leaves us with the feeling of why? Why create all of this for just him? Well, you have to watch him to understand. Those first three games for France at the Euroâs. That run of form after Mourinho was sacked, where he scored and assisted 8 in 5 games. At his best he is an unstoppable machine capable of the delicate, and the dangerous. All you need to do is to listen to proâs talk about playing against him to get it, and then watch his highlights for your eyes to get it too. That said, he is also such a liability, and this is why I would prefer to see him in that PSG team. United should use those funds to replace him with a solid CDM and a dynamic midfield passer, a la Scholes. He is a liability because he has often had brain farts at major moments, in major games. His giving away and taking of penalties record is horrible. Like at this Euros, when you take away the box-to-box partner he needed for the WC, even just Kante canât save you, and he made Danny Drinkwater a 35M Midfielder. He does the magic many cannot, But in a team where Bruno is our main performer, there is not much space for the luxuries of Paul Pogba. You will get the screamer, and then be turned into a screamer, for his efforts. Calvino Rashfordâs decision Canât say I agree with JB. Rashford definitely looks like heâs been carrying an injury for some time to me. As for saying that if it was actually something wrong, youâd just get it fixed⊠it would be nice if it was that clean cut, but thatâs just not how surgery works. I donât know exactly what the nature of Rashfordâs injury is, or what the surgical solution is, but the surgery could have a less than ideal success rate, it could only be a partial solution, it could leave the recipient with permanent (but lesser) pain in the affected area, surgery may only offer a temporary solution to an inherent problem that will eventually recur⊠There are plenty of reasons why a young guy may want to reflect on a choice between managing an injury versus going under the knife, or the exact timing of the surgery. But really, why is it such a big deal if the club was less than truthful in order to protect the player? Maybe it is made up and the issue is a sensitive one that the player doesnât want widely known â like the early days of Darren Fletcherâs ulcerative colitis, or a mental health issue⊠Or maybe they are just making it up to alleviate pressure around bad form; sounds a perfectly valid tactic to me⊠what, if anything, is wrong with him isnât really anyoneâs business but his and his employerâs. Why donât the press call them out on their BS? Probably because it isnât newsworthy⊠Andy (MUFC) Wednesdayâs PM Mailbox: How did a âuseless PE teacherâ sign Varane? Lamela was a âliabilityâ and⊠Straw grasping Biscuit Dave â do you work in PR or marketing? Thereâs some wonderful creative framing going on in your description of Unitedâs key players this morning. Listen, I get United are delighted to have finally signed a defender who looks competent in all areas of play rather than just a selected few, but to describe him as âthe most successful centre back under 30â is clearly heavily caveated so as to avoid anyone who didnât hoover up Champions League medals at Real for most of the last decade, and even then you have to limit the age range so as to exclude his way more successful defensive partner. Englandâs best centre-back? John Stones is clearly why youâve switched from âmost successfulâ to (a very subjective) âbestâ. John Stones might occasionally drop a bollock, but Maguire is always slow and one-footed. I know who Iâd rather have. And to finish, a wonderful combo designed so as to exclude any striker under the age of about 29, yet not position Cavani behind of any of those heâs being compared to â âone of the best centre forwards in Europe over the last 10 years.â Yeah, heâs been one of the best over that timeframe, but youâd probably find few outside of Salford whoâd rate him above the other obvious names in that bracket such as Ronaldo, Lewandowski, Muller or Benzema. Even the intro to the group of players includes â(on paper)â. Absolute joyous and meaningless nonsense, and why I love the Mailbox. Jonny (on paper, one of the best bearded players over 6 foot tall between the ages of 42-45 in my street) Dance âŠOh Biscuit Dave, I just have no idea how Ole gets these players to sign for the club with the highest wage bill in the country. Maybe he sent them a VHS of the time he did that tap in. And as for best English centre back, I think Joe Gomez (PL, CL) might have a word with Maguire(âŠâŠ.). United are back at the big boy table now. No more playing for nil nils or bragging rights when the leagues already lost. Ole has to do what only a small handful of managers have ever done and beat Pep in the league. No excuses now. Not injuries, not VAR, not playing on Thursdays after Christmas. Heâs been spending like Man United, he needs to win like Man United. That means the league. United fans would do well to let their team do the talking on the pitch this season. Next year has to be their year. Anything else would be a failure for them. Alex, South London Ole: the good, the bad, and the ugly The Good: Ole took over a toxic situation from a toxic man in Mourinho. He was seen as a short term option to raise morale and see out the season. He nailed it, so much so, United gave him the job full time. I was concerned about this as Pochetino seemed like the better option. But I am not Ed Woodward, so I just had to sit back and hope for the best. What I did know was that we had a former player in the hot seat, we had a manager that fully understood what a successful United is, and the importance of sticking to the United way- Fast, attacking football, with local youths reperesting the club. It is a manager who has won trophies as a manager( Albeit in Norway, that said, his side were not favourites) From the get-go, you could tell the players where in a more comfortable environment, and happier for it. The results were not bad and by the end of his first full season, we had finished in the top 3, and reached 3 semi-finals. Last season we went a step further in both regards, finishing second in the league and reaching the Europa final. Despite a loss in the final, progress was definitely made. He has improved players as well. Greenwood has come on leaps, the best we have seen from Pogba has been on his watch. He added Maguire and AWB to make a sh*t defence solid, and he has them consistently getting high ratings without it really being noticed. His transfers have been the best since Fergie has left. He signs players that we need, but who also appear to have the right mental capacity to be a United player. Maguire, Fernandes, AWB, Varane, Sancho- These are all amazing players, but more importantly, the types of players we have needed and missed out on/Never went for. Tactically, he has beaten the best, and last seasonâs sensational comebacks should be seen as proof of this, instead of it being another âluckâ stick to beat him with. The Bad: I feel bad saying bad things about him, but then when I think about it, there is not much bad to him. He is nice and friendly, he doesnât abuse, belittle or blame his players. You could say that tactically, he is maybe not as seasoned as your Mourninhoâs or Pochettinoâs, and he does not appear to have a preferred system such as Pep or Klopp. But Pep aside, not one of them was successful last year. You could say his use of substitutes can improve, as we learned in the lost final. We also learned in that game that, on occasion, he can be like a deer in the headlights when the opposition is delivering a masterclass. His interviews- this is where I think most people get their feeling for Ole, from. He just doesnât scream anything, itâs never really emotional, engaging, or inspirational. He does not say anything truly wild or thought provoking. He justâŠ.is. The Ugly: The ugly I find is in his presence, so many are frustrated. Itâs like your ex dating some really nice guy. You donât want to like him, and he has given you no reason not to, but you still do. I donât even think a trophy would do it, unless it is the league, and in a convincing way. But already people are saying he should win the league with this team, so we will see. He took over United in a similar way to that of Klopp at Liverpool. He achieved better success in his first full season than Klopp did in his. His second full season ended up in a losing european final(Albeit the Champions league for Liverpool) and a higher league finish than Liverpool. He is currently on an upward trajectory that should be seen as highly positive, yet, perhaps because he doesnât have a thrilling tactical system and perhaps a slight lack of âCharismaâ, he is being seen as lucky or unfit for purpose. Luckily, the United board does not. Calvino (His spending is about on par with Klopp in that time too)
Rule changes Three rule changes to improve âThe Gameâ. 1. Stop the clock when the ball is out of play (e.g., throw ins, corners, subs, goal kicks). SimpleâŠremoves doubt, rewards playing. No stoppage time and reduce the 90 minute game time if needs be. Probably advanced by many others before me, but letâs ease into this. 2. Introduce sin bins. We need a card between the yellow and red (e.g., orange). The reason players âtake one for the teamâ (e.g., yellow card with little time left to play), is because the balance between reward and punishment isâŠunbalanced. âTactical foulsâ go against good play/skill and are only supported by idiot hipsters (e.g., âChiellini on Saka, is brilliant defendingâ. Nah, itâs cheating). Deliver the punishment within the game the crime occurred, and create jeopardy for cheaters. 3. Make VAR reviews the decision of managers or captains. I think most people want good skill and fairness, not decision making perfection/porn â they are different and the latter does not existâŠas far as Iâm aware. No fan wants to âcheatâ their way to a win (think Henry handball against Ireland, Lampardâs phantom goal against Germany or Maradonaâs handball), particularly in a significant game. But do we really care that a marginal offside or free-kick occurred 2 minutes before a goal? I donâtâŠget on with it, play on, tackle, defend. Use the tennis review model (i.e., 2 reviews per set and you keep them if you get your review right) to remove the obvious and impactful mistakes, but donât make a video referee the central character in a game of physical skill. If you like decision based dramas, go and watch A Few Good Men. Dissecting grey areas is dull, futile and comes at the cost of the overall shape and integrity of the game. If Liverpool 3-3 AC Milan, or Liverpool 4-3 Newcastle is less likely with VAR, then remove it until you have something that doesnât make it so (N.B., I am a football not Liverpool fan). Last thing⊠We are all controlled by othersâŠultimately high finance, PR, and Government, in some shape, form or collaboration. Moments of joy are few and far between. I donât think we should allow The Man to place himself in front of one of the few moments of uncontrived joy leftâŠput that power in the hands of your âelectedâ managers and captains, make it part of the gameâŠand most importantly deliver fairness not officiousness. Nick (not The Man) P.s. Imagine Wenger/Mourinho/Fergie/ arguing they thought the ref had a bad game after they called 2 decisions wrong themselves⊠Already seems worth it. Non-perfect perfect goals Adding to Paul from Brussels mail about perfect goals that come out of left field where there looks to be no chance to score, my favourites are the goals from players that rarely get close but suddenly spot an opportunity. When they score there is this look of bewilderment followed by sheer joy, itâs the pure fun you have playing as a kid. As I am biased, check out Makeleleâs goal against Spurs. Not only a great goal but he just stood still for a split second before realising heâd actually scored, and the reaction from the rest of the team says it all. Blue Chelsea Blue Read the full article
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Heâll Be Missed (Sam Drake x Reader Imagine) (2/2)
 A/N: Hey, I decided to not fight the urge to update with the second part of the imagine, considering the number of notes I got, so here it is. I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading this.
So, letâs get on to the storyâŠ
Warnings: Language.
Words: 2159
15 years later
âJack! Emilie! Get your asses down here for breakfast!â I bellow as I stand at the bottom of the stairs, growing impatient as the set of twins take their sweet time getting down for breakfast. I tap my foot on the floorboards repeatedly, heaving a sigh of relief when I hear a set of feet stomping their way out of their rooms.
âMum! Whatâs your deal?â My daughter, Emilie, snarls before letting out an un-lady like yawn from the top of the stairs. I let out a laugh, not bothering enough to even attempt to stifle it. Her usually tamed Y/H/C hair is now in knots and tangles; the definition of bed head.âMum, this is so not funny.â
âSure it isnât, now, get down here and have some breakfast before I leave for work. Okay?â I sternly reply, shaking my head at the same time.
âWhat kind of psycho makes a person work on Christmas Eve?â The other twin (my son Jack) complains as he barges past his sister, making his way down the stairs. I leave a peck on his forehead, causing his nose to crinkle in disgust.
âSorry, couldnât resist,â I repeat the process with Emilie, who is more willing.
âSo, mumâŠâ Emilie trails on, making her eyes go wide. Obviously, she wants a sneak peek at her presents.
âUh, no. Youâll have to wait till tomorrow.â I chuckle when she groans, smacking her head on the table.
âMum, can I ask you an important question? Not about presents.â Jack asks, refusing to make eye-contact as he keeps his eyes on the tablecloth.
âShoot.â I begin to place the plates on the table, my 15-year-olds arguing quietly about a topic unknown to me.
âWhat happened to our dad?â
Smash!
I drop a plate on the floor, mimicking my heart as it plummets at his question. How am I supposed to answer such a question? What, hey kids, your father died by getting shot three times in the heart? I donât think soâŠ
I take a deep breathe in as I sat down on the seat.
âMum⊠I shouldnât have said anything. Please, donât cryâŠâ Jack clutches me, whilst his sister follows shortly. I hadnât even realised that a tear had run down my cheek.
âItâs fine sweetheart, itâs just a sensitive subject.â
âDid he cheat on you? If he did, I will hunt him down, and murder his sorry ass.â Jack states in a low and calm voice, slightly frightening me.
âNo, of course not! Your father was an amazing and faithful man.â I smile at the protectiveness that he used in his tone.Â
âWas?â Emilie gulps, and I gasp suddenly realising my slip up. I now realise they are no longer small and naive to believe my excuses. Theyâre now relatively smart teenagers that need answers.
âYes⊠I found out that your father passed away the day I was going to tell him I was pregnant with his children.â I frown at the memory, his smirk filling each dark corner of my mind.
âDid you love him?â Emilie questions, she has always been a stereotypical girly-girl; absolutely in love with the idea of love.
âMore than anything in the world,â I state confidently, smiling slightly. After 15 years, and I still havenât moved on.
âMum, I think youâre late for work,â Jack, still in shock, whispers, and I ruffle his chestnut brown hair. Jack seems to have inherited all of Samâs genes and traits; almost an exact replica, especially his gorgeous eyes. However, Emilie gained my looks and sassy personality. Not that itâs a horrible thing, but the surprise and the sceptical look on my face when the nurses passed me two completely different children is not something to go unnoticed.
âAlright, Iâm gonna skip breakfast. Goodbye darlings; Iâll be back soon.â I kiss their foreheads as a quick goodbye.
âWait! One more question.â Jack stops me from shutting the door shut after gathering all of my things.
âYes?â I raise an eyebrow, curious as to what the new found question will be.
âWhatâs his name?â
âSam Drake, or Sam Morgan,â I answer quickly, without a thought about why they would need to know. âAlright, I really need to go now. Bye.â
âBye mum!â They both shout in unison.
Jackâs P.O.V
âAre you thinking what Iâm thinking?â I ask Emilie as I rush to grab my phone from the burgundy desk rammed against the wall.
âThat our father is Uncle Nateâs brother.â She grumbles, whilst snacking on a piece of toast mum had left. I scoff at her incompetence and roll my eyes.
âYou know, why donât you just eat that whilst I prepare mumâs present,â I say as I dial my favourite uncleâs number. My sister nods her head clearly too focused on her meal to care. It takes the phone to ring twice before Uncle Nate picks the phone up.
âHello?â His cheerful voice booms through the line, clearly in the Christmas mood.
âHi, itâs Jake. Get over here in five minutes; itâs for mum.â I demand, not bothering to explain; if he cares for my mum, he wonât let me down. I hope mum will like her Christmas present.
Y/Nâs P.O.V
ââLena, Nate, good to see you!â I greet the godparents of Emilie and Jack as they enter my home. Itâs finally Christmas day, and everyone has gotten together to open presents and overall have a good time.
âYou too, Y/N! Merry Christmas, and where are your two teenage pride and joys?â Nate choruses, whilst passing me a bin bag supposedly filled with their presents. I chuckle when Nate charges in like a maniac, and Elena close behind with an apologetic look.
âYeah, Y/N. Where are my god-children?â Elena raises her voice at the end like sheâs always done. Every. Christmas.
âEmilieâs in the kitchen preparing the food, and Jack⊠God knows where he is.â I shake my head, honestly the things Jack can get up to.âIâm just going to go set the presents down, alright?âÂ
"Yeah, fine by us. But, Y/N, I have to warn you. The kids have prepared you an incredible gift that would most likely cause you to cry; so try to prepare yourself for that.â Elena rubs my arm kindly, explaining how amazing the gift will be.
âNow Iâm intrigued,â I say in a sing-song voice.
âDonât you dare try and look for it.â Nate teases as he points a finger accusingly.
âI would never!â I place my hands to my heart in mock hurt.
âHey, mum?â Jack calls my name when he walks down the staircase.
âYes, hun?"Â
"Em needs help in the kitchen.â
âIâll take that as my cue to leave, Iâll be in the kitchen if you need me,â I say towards my guests. Iâve never been the eaves-dropping type. But, Iâve always been curious, and I guess thatâs my justification as to why I stayed behind the door.
âIs everything prepared?â Jack mumbles on the other side of the door.
âYeah, all we have to do is wait.â Nateâs much louder voice whispers. I hear footsteps, and I run to the kitchen to where Emilie is.
âHey, sweetie. How much longer till the foodâs ready?â I smile at my daughter, whoâs rushing around the kitchen, picking out bits and bobs. She absolutely adores cooking and wants to become a chef when sheâs older. Who am I to not support my daughterâs dream?
âAll thatâs left is for the food in the oven to finish cooking, and Iâll be done.â She nods at her masterpiece, she rapidly turns on her heels towards me with a big smirk on her face.
âWhat is it, Em?â I roll my eyes playfully, much too far in the Christmas spirit to be annoyed.
âDo you think we can open the presents before eating, as a new tradition. Iâm sure everyone would agree.â She asks, albeit suspiciously, and I eye her sceptically.
âWhy not? Iâm a little eager myself this year.â I laugh, heading out of the kitchen and into the occupied living room.
âEmilie has suggested opening the presents a little early, and I have agreed, seeing as Iâm such a good person,â I announce smugly, although it doesnât really effect me in a negative way.
âOf course you areâŠâ Everyone, excluding myself, says in unison whilst rolling their eyes, not in a horrid or preposterous way, but in an amusing and funny way.
âWell for one, I think I am.â
All the presents have been opened, and to say the least, Iâm a teensy bit disappointed, the most I got is Thorntonâs chocolate and a few typical impersonal gifts like shower gel.
I think my children sense the difference in my usually cheerful demeanour, as they gave each other quick glances and quick tilts of their heads towards the door.
âWell, mum. There is no need to fret, we have another present coming, and itâs a little late but-
Ring!
Jack smirks as he gets up from his seat on the couch to answer the door. After a few seconds, in came Jack with a colossal present wrapped in my favourite colour wrapping paper. Behind the gift is the mailman, who seems to be struggling with pushing it. I only watch as they place the gigantic thing near my feet.
"This is for you, mum.â
âI swear if this is a washing machineâŠâ I threaten jokingly. Elena and Nate gesture for me to carry on with opening the prize gift. I let my hands finger the packaging for a moment, what could be so amazing that everyone had to be so secretive about it. I begin to remove the elegant wrapping, revealing an ordinary brown box.
âOriginally, I and Jack were going to get you an album,â Emilie began, but then Jack took over.
âBut then we talked to Uncle Nate, and together we all found the root of your problems, mainly your love life - but thatâs not the important part.â
I open the boxâs flaps, and I jump back, covering my mouth as an instinct. Instantly tears began to trickle down like a heavy rainfall at the sight before me. A dashingly handsome man shoots out of the box with the most beautiful eyes that bear into my soul. Almost immediately I recognise who it is.
âS-Sam?â His name seems so foreign on my tongue, but I missed it - way too much.
âHey, baby. Donât cry; youâre making me cry.â He hushes me as he steps out of the box, wrapping his muscular arms around me.
âH-how?â I mutter, still assuming that this is a delusion.
âI was doing some research, and I found out that someone broke a Mr Drake out of a prison; our father. Youâre not a widow, mum, youâre still a wife.â Jack answers as he holds a camera, obviously wanting to catch the moment. My eyes travel back to Samâs eyes, which are leaking hot tears, I wipe them away with my sleeve, whilst he does the same to me. It seems that Sam and I have been lingering for too long because Emilie began to chant âKiss!â over and over, the others all joining in again. I decide to make the move as my plump lips crash into his own; the kiss is a mixture of a lot of things, passion, desire, hunger, and longing, But, it is mostly filled with love, and we fit together like two jigsaw pieces. We retract our lips to regain the oxygen our lungs deprive, but before we could go back into the kissâŠ
Ding!
âLooks like dinnerâs ready!â Emilie announces as she bounces off towards the kitchen.
âSeems like you will be here for dinner.â I giggle as Sam places a stray hair behind my ear.
âSeems like it.â Sam chuckles, before gaining a serious expression. âI still love you, Y/N.â
âI still love you,â I whisper, a loving smile tugging on my lips. I hope now that Sam is back, weâll be able to live as that happy family that everyone is envious of, and even though Sam wasnât there for 15 years of his childrenâs lives; he connects to them like no one else ever has⊠ "Always willâŠâ
A/N: Ahh, so much feels. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you really enjoyed reading it. If you have any requests for future imagines, donât hesitate to tell me. Iâm willing to attempt writing anything. Whatever your dirty or innocent minds desire, Iâll support!
-C
#sam drake x reader#samuel drake#sam drake#uncharted 4 x reader#uncharted#uncharted 4#elena fisher#nathan drake#twins#reader#reader insert
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F a m i l i a l/F a m i l i a l Like
N I A LOVELIS đ
What bond is as strong as that of sisters? Rena would happily say not a single one in the world, when asked about her older sibling. She very much so, places the science of success in any of her personal, or public endeavors, in the hands of her older sister. Although the two are most often pushing each others buttons, cracking jokes and arguing over whoâs going to pay for coffee; on a rare occasion, youâll find them being sincerely sweet to one another and offering support.
âMy sweet, devoted counterpart, we catch each other shooting stars. However close, however far. Whateverâs mine is oursâ
M A T T H E W MUSTO
Bear has been like a brother to Rena every since they met in group therapy a few years ago. He knows her well, and she returns that favor. Other than Nia, he was the first person that Rena ever really felt loved and supported her, for whatever she was on any given day. However, he was a horrible influence on her early on in their relationship. He introduced her to drugs, and although Bear isnât solely responsible for getting Rena into drinking, he was the first falling pebble before the avalanche. During Bearâs own brush with death, and faced with the possibility of losing each other, the two slept together; (This may have caused a relationship that Rena was in at the time to fall apart.) After he came out of it all alright, their own relationship returned to the way itâd been before. However, Rena will no longer drink with him. These days, sheâs lying to him more often than not. When it comes down to whoâs unhealthy, they could bicker for hours. Regardless, theyâll never give up on each other. Â
âI want you to stop insisting that Iâm not a lost cause, âcause Iâve been through a lot. Really all Iâve got, is just to stay pissed off. If thatâs alright by youâ
P l a t o n i c
A S H L E Y FRANGIPANE
Be it a girlâs night out, or an early breakfast date, Ashley is who Rena calls. They first met while Hey Violet was touring with 5 Seconds of Summer. Admittedly, Rena swore the meeting was a cruel joke the guys were playing, but was pleasantly surprised in the long run. Always the supportive, but honest one, Ashley is the best friend that Rena needed when she was much younger. Thereâs a love she has for Ashley, that lingers in the vein of great admiration. Rena has never had to ask herself if she could trust this relationship, it just came naturally.
âSo, when youâre caught in the landslide, Iâll be there for you. Iâll be there for you. And in the rain, give you sunshine.
A S H T O N IRWIN
Rena has been friends with Ashton for quite a few years now, and knows almost everything about him. They share and confided in each other avidly, without feeling judged. From day one theyâve had a connection that Rena has never really been able to establish with anyone else. After the tour kickoff party at the Nokia club however, things got a little close to going too far between the two. Theyâve resolved to never speaking about it- without speaking about it. The situation may have Rena silently questioning what her feelings toward Ashton have been all this time. Still, heâs the only person in her life that sheâs ever been entirely honest with. Excluding their current situation, of course.
âSweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home- When I run out of road, you bring me home.â
D A V I D SCHMITT
Rena and David first met at a party a couple years back, and he took no time before attempting to hit on her; only to find out she was just seventeen. However, now that sheâs well into an age that wonât get him arrested, heâs taking no prisoners. It isnât something that Rena actually minds, in fact itâs a large part of their interaction. Their friendships consists of drinking themselves into a zombie-like drag, her insulting him and his going on about how great he is at, well, everything. Although Dave is mostly harmless in Renaâs eyes, heâs played a large part in exposing her to a few scenes that she never should have been apart of.
âWould you believe me if I said I was drunk? Maybe I want you to want me, but only tonight.â
H A Y L E Y WILLIAMS
An idol of herâs since she was very young, Rena never expected to actually rub elbows with Hayley. Since that faithful day however, theyâve gotten very close. Rena sees Hayley as a motherly, or sisterly guidance that she lacked for a very long time. Their relationship is most often Hayley trying to steer Rena in a better direction- even if she only says it in so many words. Rena however, canât always be trusted to follow the advice thatâs being presented to her. Regardless of what option she choices, she realizes that Hayley is always there and ready to soothe her, if the situation should arise. Â Rena may be a few years younger, but she cares very deeply for Hayley and is constantly trying to support her just the same. However, sheâs finding it isnât always too well accepted.
âI know youâre lost and drifting, but the clouds are lifting. Donât give up, you have somewhere to turn. Iâll be your candle on the water, tilâ every wave is warm and brightâ
K Y L I E JENNER
After hanging around the launch party of Kylieâs Cosmetics, Rena just so happened to be picked out of the crowd by Kylie herself, to have her makeup done. At first she was too nervous to go along with it, but Kylie coaxed her into it. After that, the rest is practically history. They got along incredibly well, and can sometimes be found doing each others makeup, or eating at some fast food joint. However, their emotional connection is almost non-existent, because Rena never opens up to Kylie. This is mistly for fear of being dismissed or disliked. Over time, Renaâs realized Kylie hasnât exactly ever opened up to her either.
ââCause somedays Iâm drinking coffee with my friends; Iâve got stitches in my sides from all the laughs. Other days I canât stitch together, the words to say, Iâm not any better than Iâve been.â
L U K E HEMMINGS
Luke is kind of like that one mom friend that is always too up in your business, but Rena adores him just the same. Heâs been making her laugh form the very beginning. His interest in her life, and hers in his, is one of the main components of why they get along so well. Not to mention, heâs often linking her to the best parts of the internet. Part of their relationship may or may not be based on his bulldog, Petunia. Rena appreciates that Luke can almost never be serious, as she often needs a little sunshine in her life. Not to mention, heâs always got  her back, and a few words of encouragement to spill into her ear. It does concern Rena though, that he often wonât open up to her.
ââCause I believe we gotta be good for something. I believe that the moment will come. But, if we die and find out it was all for nothing, least we know youth wasnât wasted on usâ
B u s i n e s s Related
Z A C K HANSEN
Renaâs relationship with Zack started out very much as a business deal of sorts. She had met him in passing, shortly after Cherri Bomb ended. Before long heâd taken her under his wing. Sheâs learned a lot from him about navigating the music industry, so to speak. Overtime however, theyâve also developed quite a strong friendship. In fact, she would appear to be like his little sister to anyone on the outside, looking in. They spend a lot of time teasing each other, and Renaâs favorite past time is playing small, barely noticeable pranks on him.
If youâve got a lyric thatâll fit these two, send it my way~!
R o m a n t i c
C H R I S S Y COSTANZA
Chrissy was Renaâs first relationship with a woman, as well as her first experience with exploring any attraction she may have felt towards her own sex. However, the relationship consisted mostly of them arguing. Usually, about if Rena would ever come out, or be comfortable with making their relationship public. Soon, their bond crumbled completely. Rena, who can sometimes be unconcerned about the way her actions affect others, made the mistake of sleeping with some else (Mat,) before their relationship had actually ended. Shortly after that occurrence however,, Rena called off the romance and stopped speaking to Chrissy. There isnât necessarily any bad blood, but the two are on very strange terms. Rena would like to be friends with Chrissy, but feels as if the other woman still isnât over her, or  what happened between them.
âYouâre really sweet and I donât want to be rude; This is me breaking up with you. Iâm young, and I want to try someone new. This is me, breaking up with youâ
J E N N A MCDOUGALL
When Rena was just realizing her attraction to the same sex, she found herself a little smitten with Jenna. For awhile she kept it to herself, unsure of what it actually met. If the feeling was just a fluke, she certainty didnât want to act on it. After all, sheâd never really felt it before- or, had never really payed it any attention. After awhile however, she admitted to Jenna her crush. She was quickly shot down. Rena was left a bit hurt and confused, but got her barrings back fairly quickly. She considers herself good friends with Jenna now. However, she has no clue of the girlâs feelings toward their past situation.
âIâm moving on. You can have my past, Iâll never get that back. Iâm moving on, âcause those days are goneâ
This list is subject to alteration at any time! If thereâs something you feel should be added to a specific connection, just let me know. Also, feel free to suggest a lyric/change in lyric, if our connection either doesnât have one, or you feel there may be one that is better suited~
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