#this is fucking peak comedy dont @ me

[kindred-spirit-93]

how would a fandom treat you lol

unrelated, but my 3 moods:

@wordsofwizdumb, @ghostkingdiangelo429 and open for all! >:D

shout out to dr. delicate touch, my bean and favourite ninja turtle:

i too feel nothing XD

[todayisafridaynight]

motherfucker (affectionate) (derogatory)

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

Super awesome and totally not low resulotion aguma edit i could barely finish bcs i was gigglin so hard

[tacagen]

just came back to this and realized i really formulated it vaguely so you cant even say what i actually implied. elaborating: his ASS was CONVICTED after his first fight with barry and 100% on all the news since 'nothing ever happens in this damn time'!! his NAME is DIRECTLY LINKED TO THE REVERSE-FLASH IN THE ARCHIVES RIGHT BEFORE F*NISH L*NE!! NOT MENTIONING HIS 21ST CENTURY HISTORIC ACTIVITY(tho idk how exactly that works considering there are variants where reverse-flash's identity didnt make it to 25th century but there should be SO much documentation in 1 iron heights 2 ccpd+court since there mustve been trials to put him there in the first place 3 flash museum as it already existed in 21st century, using the information from 2 other sources above (which well. above all must be completely digitalized by 4 freakin centuries after. like cmon TF were they up to for that entire time if it didnt include making the info easier to access/find/etc at least once) so i cant see how that could possibly happen except for eo throwin all that shit fuck outta window at some point to keep the mystery for his pre-reverse era but then again he still needs all that info to check his own history and all the changes and it was shown to be in the archives (collected by other people before him) so? man i wish timey wimey actually made at least some sense in at least 1 flash variant. is it really too much to ask.)!! NO WAY THE KNOWLEDGE IS NOT PUBLIC!! EVERYBODY KNOWS!! ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO KNEW HIM FROM HIS PRE-SPEEDSTER ERA!! NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE MUSEUM STAFF SOME OF WHICH FALL ON THE PREVIOUS SPECTRUM AS WELL!!!! AND NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT CAUSE THE ONLY PRISON CAPABLE OF HOLDING SOMEONE OF HIS SPECTRE OF POWERS AGAINST THEIR WILL WAS BUILT BY HIM FOR PARADOX SINCE APPARENTLY HE IS THE ONLY COMPETENT PERSON OUT THERE and, well. thawne is obvs not stupid enough to include in the design his own cell (btw. does this mean that thawne as a time travelling time altering genius TM could be the one responsible for the complete incompetence and poor anti-meta/speedster equipment of police/gov forces/etc and lack of means of detention around his time so that he can do his silly little museum work and scheming (AND get to be the hero in case some outside force attacks since again no other compenent people and actual means of defence but him//renegades created by him and hunter??) and well. generally existing peacefully without worrying about getting imprisoned here too considering that even 21st century iron heights does, in fact, have the necessary kinds of technologies and use it successfully on meena and august and whoever else (not mentioning it was PERFECTLY CAPABLE to contain thawne himself for some time) because there REALLY is no other fucking explanation on how THOSE of ALL things are lost and forgotten in 25th as well.). the central city of 25th century just has to live with the fact there is this murderous speedster that still works a normal job, can do pretty much anything with the city and time itself (but actually usually doesnt because hes hyperfixated and busy running his precious museum but yk threat is still there.) and no one can stop him from it and with being fully aware of it all. also if it wasnt enough at least PART if not majority of 25th century public actually thinks he IS a hero after the paradox's defeat. the internet arguments about him must be unmatched. also i think he (and his museum tours especially) is an obscure tourist attraction now. like cc's people at this point be like look at our local little deranged squeak squeak from the flash museum that basically owns the city and can do whatever he wants and also dies an unreasonable amount of times regularly. his appearance was foretold by flash's history because that rat can time travel and you can literally see him both on display and explaining all that including his involvemet live on his museum tours. so silly. so fucking insane. where else could you possibly have this.

typed some Thoughts in the tags but then realized it should be a separate post.

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife # 8- Drama Queen

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Can be read with others in series or alone

Warnings: allusions to sex, mostly fluff and comedy

- - - -

Its been a pretty quiet evening, and with you home, thats saying something. Joel's minding his business watching Tv when you come plopping down next to him on the couch. He doesn't acknowledge you.

So you scoot over and sigh heavily. Still No reaction from the male.

You feint a yawn and snuggle your head on his shoulder. He smiles a little, but doesn't look at you. You rub affectionately like a kitten.

Nothing.

Take the hint, you stupid hunk.

Your pretty manicured hand creeps on his thigh, stroking up and down senually with delicate fingertips.

He knows where this is going, but he won't entertain you. He coughs a little, bored, and continues scrolling channels. Wants to see how far you'll go to get what you want.

As if on cue, you persist. Wrapping your arm over his broad shoulders, hitching your knee awkwardly on his thigh despite the baby in your belly squirming at the uncomfortable angle. You playfully boop his nose, giggling like a flirt. He purses his lips, but nothing else.

You stare at his profile, that unique Joel Miller look of concentration. Handsome and stoic—that little shithead.

You're teasingly rubbing your fingers through his scruff, twisting gently as a massage.

You bring your lips and kiss him kindly on the cheek. Something sweet. Innocent. Then again, but a little longer. Then some more, peppered down his jaw, along his pulse. Heated and wetter. Growing more needy and nipping his ear, making little happy moans as your hand continues to wander over his legs, tip toeing to his crotch.

Joel sighs, finally looking at you. "There a reason you're trying to get me turned on, ma'am?"

"Mmm," you hum, biting your lip and staring his plump ones. You crawl closer, breasts smashed against his bicep as you lick your lips, tongue peaking out with lusty eyes trying to put him under your best charm. Yesyesyes give it to me, Fucker!

"I want a Big—" you kiss his nose "—Messy—" teeth nip at his lower lip "—Hot—" you peck him teasingly, sucking his flesh in your mouth so he knows you mean business. Then you stare down at him with your serious eyes, foreheads pressing,

"—Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with extra Rainbow Sprinkles from Clyde's Creamery."

Yeah. He knew exactly this is where this was going.

He cracks a warm smile, cupping your jaw and parting your lips with his thumb. You suck it into your mouth, hoping to please him. Just as hes about to kiss you, he leans in and says, "No. Its 11pm. Bedtime."

You get off his lap with a cold shoulder and a scoff, proceeding to ignore him for the rest of the night.

Hes evens surprised when you go to bed still silent, facing away from him without a kiss goodnight when you turn off your lamp.

Until it's 2am when he's startled awake by the sound of the the front door opening. He's storming downstairs trying not to trip, and haphazardly throwing a shirt on backwards while in his boxers, only to see you with a packed bag, hand dramatically caressing  your bump with fake ass tears down your cheek going outside to the car.

"Where the FUCK are you going??" He asks, rubbing his eyes. Aggravation and rough exhaustion evident in his tone.

"You said you didn't love me, so I'm leaving," you huff. There's no hint of a joke in your words. Genuine pain. Hurt. Quiet and walking away. You dont wait to see his reaction and without another word, you turn to leave.

Hes so whiplashed, wracking his brain trying to remember any time he even remotely could have said something like that and you interpret it—

"I SAID YOU COULDN'T HAVE A HOT FUDGE COOKIE DOUGH CHOCOLATE GOOEY FANTASY MILKSHAKE because it was FUCKING 11PM AND CLOSED! Now get your fat beautiful ass and our baby back in here and dont ever pull this stupid stunt again!"

You scowl at him, preventing any physical reaction of your internal swooning he thinks my ass is pretty. You hold your ground and refuse to move from your position, defiant, in flip flops and a long nightgown on the front porch at 2am.

Joel furrows his brows and closes his eyes, soothing over the wrinkles you've caused to grow on his forehead.  "Fuck. I'll get you one tomorrow morning for breakfast. Okay?"

You smile giddily and skip back inside "Okie!" You step past him drop your shit on the couch, kissing him on the cheek. "Dont forget the extra rainbow sprinkles."

He grunts, glad that it's dark enough in the house you can't see how exhausted and annoyed he is.

"Oh and close the door, Joel! You'll wake the neighbors with your unnecessary shouting bit. Dramatic much?" You scoff, and waddle up the stairs and right to bed like nothing happened.

-

Tommy also has access to your ring camera notifications and sees Joel and you out there and the whole conversation, and he's laughing so hard when he watches the playback. He teases grumpy exhausted Joel the next morning, conveniently with a to-go milkshake in his hand at 8am.

"Softy for your girl?"

"Shut up."

"And when you have the baby, then there's gonna be two of her!" Tommy wheezes.

Joel's saggy and wrinkled eyes manage to open wider than ever as that particular horror sets over him.

- - - -

Permanent Taglist

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96

[cosmicpoutine]

My favorite thing about fanon tim drake is that he's so funny. like. you can tell when somebody hasn't read the comics. Like. You can tell when their only exposure to tim is other fanfic writers, bcs they take that fanon-ness and TURN THE DIAL WAY UP like It's so fucking funny when you read like a fic or smth and then you look right back at the comics like "no goddamn WAY this is the same person"

Don't get me wrong!! he's one of my faves bcs I think he's pathetic. but. not like THAT

Also I remember that I used to see so many fics where he was an anime nerd who called himself by some japanese name 😭 😭 😭 and authors being so unironic abt this was peak comedy to me,,,,

"hes pathetic. but not like THAT" SENT ME LMAO KDJSGHSKLJ so real and so true.

i love tim being a stupid lil loser because it's the vibes that he gives off in the comics, he's very natural on his own way even in civies but somehow it works for him and people like him canonically.

i stopped reading fanfics when i got deeper into the comics because you can tell that fanon and fics are just a giant game of telephone at this point, idk who this is but that ain't tim drake. and a lot of the time the base knowledge is waf (i dont hate waf, i never read it, but i know for a fact is not as deep as the comics).

i truly don't know where this weaboo tim drake thing comes from but i HAVE seen it so much. this and the girlie pop tim drake shakes his ass are the most out of character thing i've ever seen fanon do. this caricature of tiktok genz teenager is so boring to me.

i could sit here and shit on fanon tim drake for ages, but i think it's funny, it's like a brand new character lmao

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[skaiplana]

Read Harrow the Ninth. Went insaner. Read As Yet Unsent. Shitpost and thoughts:

- God's name is John. He makes dad jokes.

- I am glad this is a universe where God can be: a) killed b) fucked. We have empirical evidence

- on that note, let's do dios apate minor three but make it a foursome with me baby. Let me get that ancient pussy and/or dick

- rip Mercymorn that woman served cunt was a cunt and talked!! In an amazing! Way!! Do you think she would fix my scoliosis?

- rip Augustine he was a cunt too. Trying to send god to hell is iconic. Of course Ianthe would kill him.

- Mercy and Augustine... they hated each other. They worked together to kill god. They had a suicide pact. They wanted to be burried next to each other. They died only a few minutes apart.

- Ianthe that gay little pathetic snake.

- CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE 'GALL ON GALL' JOKE I DONT GET IT

- GIDEON (2) IS BACK!!! NOW WITH MORE FUCKED UP PARENTAL ISSUES!!!

- is Gideon (2) biologically Mercy's or Wake's kid? I thought she was Wake's because everything Mercy made died but I've seen some people say otherwise

- so like. Wake is evil virgin Mary. Gideon (2) is space lesbian Jesus.

- Gideon (1) is OUT, Pyrra is IN! What that entails I do not know but she seems cooler than him

- how do you get in affair with a commander of your enemy. How do you not use a condom or like kill your sperm. Why were you afraid it's your kid Gideon (Pyrra?).

- when John asked if Harrow and Ianthe are using protection what did he mean. Is he implying that there is a possibility of pregnancy? Is he concerned about infections and stds? They could just cure those? Is he saying that there are like dental dams somewhere on mithraeum

- Harrow. What can I say? She did a diy lobotomy. She's haunted. Every woman wants her. She's in love with a dead body. She made a soup out of her own bone and tried to murder someone with it. I want to hug her

- yk I'm starting to think that the Emperor Undying is a wretched liar a dick and a colonizer. Just a hunch.

- now I don't believe anything he's ever said and I'm thinking that Harrow probably did open the tomb

- Camilla is alive and well!!! Sex Pal is almost alive an fairly well!! Can we get him out of the bones

- Coronabeth is realizing how fucked up the nine houses are! Deuteros is not!

- Abigail!!! Magnus!!! I'm glad I got to see more of them. Abigail is actually so cool I want them to adopt me

- the actual Dulcinea! She's so cool too

- the alive Protesilaus being a poet udhdhehhehe and Ortus having internal beef with him

- Ortus is an interesting person now! Also the way everyone likes his poetry except for Harrow is peak comedy

- they actually summoned Nonius. Then he killed ghost Wake. Then they made a dnd party and went to to fight the Resurrection Beast and they WON I guess. These series is a comedy

- I actually understood everything most of the time except for some obscure words (please explain gall on gall tho)

[awrkive]

you seem to watch a lot of good shows! what are some of your faves and recos? ive been trying to watch something these days but nothing is catching my attention 😔 i fear my attention span is fucked 😭

AHHHHHHHH THANK YOU!!! honestly the shows i watch are pretty popular and have big following so u have probably watched or heard about all of this! i would direct you to my serialzd but i abandoned that app long ago asjhf my top 5 are def:

succession (4 seasons)

(bbc) sherlock (4 seasons)

the queens gambit (1 season)

the sopranos (6 seasons)

twin peaks (3 seasons) / breaking bad (5 seasons) (its a tie coz i cant drop either onejhegfd)

im not sure what u want to watch so the following will just be a bunch of shows that i really liked binging

the x files (the og storyline is drama. but some monster of the week eps are funny. it has 11 seasons but tbh u dont really need dto watch all of it if ur not interested in the whole alien plotline. some eps are skippable)

brooklyn 99 (comedy. a faveee)

the office!! gives me so much nostalgia i): (comedy. some drama here and then)

the sex and the city (romcom. drama here and then)

greys anatomy (rom drama)

hannibal (this is pretty gorey so i dont suggest watching it if ur not keen on those stuff. a really REALLY good show tho and ur missing out on a LOT if u dont give this a chance)

suits (drama and comedy)

true detective (the first szn is just mwa mwa chefs kiss)

peaky blinders (drama)

lucifer (rom drama)

how to get away with murder (very heavy and can age u up to 10 years but its also super entertaining tbh 😭 this made me want to go to law school lol)

this is reality tv but will you guys believe me when i say i binged all of 20 seasons of... hell's kitchen? lmfao s6 is my favorite ive rewatched it like three times now 😭 i just love cooking survival shows

anyways thats it ive probably left out some but these are some of my faves that i keep on coming back to!!

[satirn]

im not gonna spread discourse think what u want interpret how you'd like death of the author and all that. and i would not like that on this post. that being said

as much as a full grown man beefing with a literal child is funny, and its peak comedy dont get me wrong. i feel like with the shit zim has gone through, him also being a kid is 100x more of that specific brand of jhonen comedy of tragic + funny.

could you imagine. you're put with some of the most advanced grown ass scientists in all of the vast space-conquerung empire you're apart of, making cutting edge technology and achivements and dangerous expirements and you are the ripe old age of like 7 YEARS OLD... AND YOU PULL YOUR FUCKING WEIGHT. you create an INFINATE ENERGY SOURCE that ends up asasinating NOT ONE BUT TWO FUCKING DICTATORS OF SAID EMPIRE. you are sent to DIE but since you are so Built Different, end up emprisioned to CASHIER AT SPACE MCDONALDS, now around 9 or something.

a few weeks into your child labor space prison fastfood job you end up hearing about a political election for the empire's newest child soldiers for galactic conquest taking place and end up JUST FUCKING WALKING OUT THE DOOR and GOING TO THE ELECTION deMANDING TO BE ASIGNED TO CONQUER A PLANET because you are 100% CON. VINCED. that you're the best guy EVER TO EXIST and NO ONE CAN TELL YOU OTHER WISE and if they do YOU DELUSION YOURSELF TILL YOUR SHIT MEMORY FORGETS, CAUSE IF YOU FACE THOSE FACTS YOU WILL HAVE A MAJOR MENTAL BREAKDOWN and you are 10 years old

god I love this show

[holymolyineedtherapy]

Why is Thriller Bark my favorite arc?

I feel like I never explained why Thriller Bark is my favorite arc. I keep like spouting it but never explain it lol

So here is why!

One, the comedy.

Thriller Bark is so fucking hilarious. There are so many moments that are forever etched in my brain that make me laugh when I think about it. For example, Luffy shoving the fucking zombie back into the ground, Luffy beating the shit out of Cerberus to tame it, the fucking zombies that have Zoro and Sanji's shadows 😭

This arc is so unserious yet so serious at the same time.

Two, Brook's Introduction!! Brook is my friend's favorite character and we watched Thriller Bark together for the first time. It helped etch that memory and sense of nostalgia deeper into my soul.

Three, the amount of lore and small foreshadowing we get in this arc. We get mention of Big Mama, Egghead, the other warlords, and a peak into the new world.

Four, the character moments.

There are a lot of character moments in this arc that are truly amazing. We get to see Usopp shine when he fights against Perona. Sanji protecting Nami. Franky fighting with the crew for the first time. Robin being able to finally show her true colors with the crew. Chopper facing against his idol and telling him that he is the monster. Luffy beating yet another warlord! And, of course, Zoro.

Nothing Happened was such an iconic moment, one that is considered to be one of his best if not his best. It shows how much Zoro truly cares for his crew and the lengths he's willing to go to protect them.

Five, Brook's backstory. Brook is such a fascinating character and one that I want to dissect and show even more horrors. Not just his backstory with his crew though. No, we cannot forget Laboon. Laboon, a character we were introduced to back before there were 100 episodes out has been brought full circle to this point.

Brook and Laboon made me cry.

Six, Bink's Sake.

That fucking song. That song always gets me. Regardless of when it's being played on the violin or when the crew is screaming it at the top of their lunchs, it always makes me cry.

I love that song.

Seven, This was my introduction to One Piece. Yes, I started One Piece at Thriller Bark. I KNOW I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. I saw it on Toonami after I finished my Inuyasha episode. I watched Thriller Bark and I immediately fell in love with it.

So that's why Thriller Bark is my favorite. There's a lot more to it than that but it's amazing. I love this arc so much.

[offorestsongs]

Tell me about Rook if you don't mind

I honestly haven't paid much attention to anyone from pomefiore so I have a very basic idea on who Rook is and I would like to read someone's thoughts about him

HI HI THANK YOU I LOVE YOU /P

(also shout out to @natsukishinomiyaswife who asked me to talk about him in the comments of that post 💞)

OKAY SO. THE THING IS. it kinda annoys me when people are like "oh hes weird" "oh hes creepy" and i tend to get a bit defensive about it because YES!! YES HE IS!! AND THAT'S WHY I LIKE HIM!!

hes weird!!! hes weird and hes offputting!!! and he talks too much and hes overly theatrical with his emotions (while still hiding So much) and people think hes annoying!!!! and like- ME TOO!!!

i feel like i see myself a lot in him because im also too loud and too theatrical and too poetic in how i talk and dont always know how to interact with people in a "normal" way and people think im weird and annoying. except Rook is just so?? unashamed about it?? he just does what he wants and doesnt seem to care if people find him weird or creepy — he clearly respects Vil so much and would do So much for him, yet when Vil tells him that he's being weird or annoying Rook just. carries out with his thing. and i kind of love that. its so so very sweet to see somebody who just fully accepts his weirdness and embraces it and doesnt let anybody bully him out of it

kind of on the same topic — he always felt very obviously neurodivergent coded to me?? like he comes off as so obviously autistic that its basically canon to me. like, yes, hes often obvious to social cues but also. theres a moment in his Halloween vignette where he says that as a kid he didn't know how to express his emotions and he had learned it from watching theatre. or in one of his birthday vignettes when he says that once he focuses on something, it seems to consume him completely (not a direct quote but you get the idea shfjshf). and thats another thing that makes me like him more because — again, relatable

and while i do thing that the in-universe explanation for a lot of his more creepy behavior is a mix of him being very passionate about his interest and being obvious to/ignoring social cues (NOT saying that being autistic makes you act like a creep or anything YOU GET WHAT I MEAN). HOWEVER— i dont like him despite his stalker tendencies, i like him BECAUSE of them.

okay. listen. would a lot of the things he does be suuuper creepy irl? yes, obviously. but theres a lot characters that i like even tho i would probably hate them irl (cough, Vil, cough, Riddle, cough). and i do have a thing for characters who tend to get obsessive over other people — its good story potential!! its entertaining!!! i love watching him be a little weirdo and talk about hunting people its simply fun

AND THATS THE THING!! hes just entertaining!!! he has so many moments that are simply funny alright. i love when he's being dramatic when other characters are done with him when hes being so Out There. like,,, everything he did in book 6? peak comedy. that one vignette where he tells Malleus that he has hunted lizards but never caught a dragon? insane thing to do, so fucking funny. also him wanting to drink Vil's poison even tho there was No reason to do so whatsoever? unhinged. i love him so much

another thing (kinda related tho) is that while reducing him to his relationship with Vil would be doing him a HUGE disservice, it IS one of the things that drew me to him. it's just so interesting and tells a lot about who Rook is as a character and i feel like people missinterpret it a lot which is very sad. i love that Rook decided to change dorms simply so he can follow a guy around because he thinks said guy is pretty — again, insane thing to do, so fucking entertaining. i love how he talks So much about Vil and his admiration for Vil. but hes not blind in his devotion!!! hes by Vil's side because he choose to be and he could as well walk away if he choose to, Vil doesn't hold him on a leash. he can be harsh on Vil, criticise him and its BECAUSE he cares so much for Vil. he wants Vil to become even more brilliant, after all!! and Vil knows that!!! Vil knows that Rook is by his side On Conditions, even if he's not always sure what those conditions may be and id say he likes that. i mean, come on that man loves a challenge. and that's what makes their relationship so compelling to me! Rook is not a guard dog, the two of them are equals, theres a back-and-forth between them and yet Rook is always there when Vil needs him. okay i may have gotten off track a bit but i have A Lot of feelings about their relationship and i needed to get it off my chest lmao

ANYWAYS! i love his obsession with beauty and specifically, i love how it manifests. hes not focused on the "conventional" meaning of beauty, but instead hes able to find it anywhere. again — even if some of the things he fawns over others may find weird, it's actually so sweet that he's able to find beauty in things that other people may not even consider.

AND SPEAKING OF THAT — HES ACTUALLY SO SWEET!! like yes alright he can often be too blunt and say things without considering how they may impact other people's feelings, but i dont think hes unkind. there's actually so many moments where he's being sweet. like,, (in the main story at least, cant remember anything about any of the events dhfjsjf) he was basically always nice to Yuu. one of my favorite Rook moments is when he's comforting Deuce in book 5 (comparing him to a chicken in an egg no less which like. amazing). or the way hes always so supportive of Epel? i LOVE the whole part of book 6 when Epel discovered his UM. Rook was so proud of him!! i love that scene where Rook helped Epel with using it, it was so sweet

a smaller thing but his interests are so dear to me. like, yes hes a hunter and an archer but he also likes history!! and historical fashion!! and classical music!! and poetry!! and theatre!! idk there's something very sweet to me here (especially that i do happen to share a lot of his interests shfjshf). ALSO THE FACT THAT HE'S INTERESTED IN ARCHEOLOGY THATS SO SPECIAL TO ME. tho i DO also love that hes an archer, im always weak to archer characters

also hes one of the most queercoded characters in the game imo and as a gay bitch i have to appreciate that

okay i think im done thank you so much for the question writing all that made me feel very normal and sane 🫶

[tiktaalic]

Hi so if you feel like it. Do you have any starter horror recommendations for someone who wants to watch more horror but is a wuss about it. For context I have an extra hard time with gore/body horror. Guy with knife much scarier than ghosts/demons/etc. Anything more thesis-horror is helpful because thinking about the thesis distracts me from the Scared. Weird/insane/unhinged women are borderline mandatory.

Again just if you feel like it but if you do thanks a bunch in advance!!!

hmmmmm okay. let me look at my letterboxd. gonna cut this one for lenght.

oddity - from my memory pretty light on blood guts etc. there's really only one scene where you see like. blood splatter. iirc. i thought it was really beautifully shot. ghosts AND guys with knives.

red rooms - there's literally one visible shot of "yuck" (bones) in the first 15? minutes but it revolves around a trial for murder so there are yknow. people detailing gruesome acts out loud but theres literally only the one shot in the whole thing. awesome women in this one. guys with knives.

creep + creep 2 - as far as a i remember more of a suspense thing than blood and guts. and also really good! crazy woman in 2. guy with knives.

hell house llc - i watched this one today and really liked it for what it is. there's one scene towards the end with blood but that's really it the rest of it is suspense. ghosts.

crimson peak - awesome. women in it. ghosts. i dont remember there being a ton of blood? people die in it but i dont think any of it is like. on screen close up on wounds. ghosts.

it follows - ghosts. i do remember going yeek! at one of the ghost forms. the soundtrack is great.

stoker is showing up when i sort by horror which i dont think is true. but it does rule and it does have nicole kidman in it and is in comparison to horror as a genre light on gore. women

whatever happened to baby jane another one that letterbox is calling horror that i dont necessarily agree with. but definitely OK as far as yuck goes. no yuck #noyuck. women

lake mungo - kind of a normie pick as far as tumblr rec goes. shows up on a lot of ppl's fav lists. shows up on a lot of lists for women in horror. ghosts. no blood guts even a little bit just ghosts that look creepy

poltergeist - as far as i remember really really tame. ghosts. obvs.

psycho + psycho 2. well its psycho innit. so.

signs - aliens in there.

the craft - witches. women. i dont remember it being a super gross one?

night of the living dead - it's literally night of the living dead

i grew up watching the old universal horror movies. wolfman invisible man mummy frankenstein dracula creature from the black lagoon etc. which i do think are worth watching.

looking at this list realizing i watch a lot of stuff that's very what if there was a fucked up guy. anyway. those i think are pretty safe bets in terms of. light on blood/body horror. if you feel braver. well.

bodies bodies bodies - not a scary movie just a silly one where people are dying. there is blood in it though. so. women

talk to me - ghosts. i liked it a lot. there is like. head slamming into a table repeatedly so hard someone goes into a coma though. woman

malignant - sillayyyyyyy. but quite bloody. kind of ghosts themed

12 hour shift - dont remember how much blood is in this one but it centers on organ trafficking so probably some. i remember liking it a lot tho. no ghosts. woman

us - scared the shit out of me the first time i watched it. no ghosts but . not classical guy with knife either. but quite good. woman

hereditary - theres blood in this one. sometimes things that are lauded are good. sorry.

raw - blood. but really good. and #women

cabin in the woods - blood in there but it is i think probably my favorite referential horror comedy.

jennifer's body - yeah you know it. dont need to say more

the descent - really fucking good really fucking scary people's bodies get fucked up. women movie of all time

28 days later - i liked it. i dont remember much about it but i liked it when i watched it. zombies

eight legged freaks - sillayyyyy. giant spiders

ginger snaps - classic for a reason. women. e blood

candyman - the original reallyyyyy good. havent seen the new one but the original incredibly good.

reanimator + bride of reanimator - silly one. with some. um. one blood. two. body horror. three. content warnings.

frankenhooker - nother silly one. with moderate very silly gore.

tremors - creature movie. silly. fun.

lair of the white worm - creature movie. awesome

killer klowns from outer space - quiteeeee silly dont remember where it falls on gore even a little bit.

hellraiser - i rmemeber it being good. but i mean. species of demons called pinhead. due to having pins, in their heads,

nightmare on elm street 1/2/3. one you kind of have to watch. 2 is bonkers homophobic it's awesome. 3 is just fun. demons. i guess.

the hitcher - guy with knives. blood. pretty cool though.

the thing - body horror as fuck. but really good. creatures

american werewolf in london - gore + body horror but quite good.

friday the 13th. i liked it! kind of guy with knives by definition tho

phantom of the paradise - another silly one. dont remember the blood content but its quiteeee silly and fun i liked it a lot

long legs - i liked it, but there's deffo blood in it, and i also think it should probably be watched in a theatrical setting to enjoy it.

my watchlist, which i havent watched, and cant vouch for:

may (women)

titane (women)

hatching (women)

[riceball89]

puppychan / wolfertinger666 returning to the internet under another name & STILL causing drama over being a trans and chubby chaser like 4 years later is peak comedy. imagine getting chased off for being weird, having an art degradation so bad that it should be written in a history book, coming back with better art, but still having a personality so insufferable that even the wokest of the woke cannot defend you. like, okay, this is a grown ass man throwing hissy fits over how other people online act all while being pissy toward a palestanian asking for donations, and proceeds to defend it with “WE-WELL IM TRANS AND BLACK!!! ANDDD a furry! yes i live in a first world country and have people who support me but— IM TRANS AND BLACK OK! i get to be an asshole and proceed to get mad at others for being assholes! because i’m black.. gosh!”

like usually i dont give a fuck when people act like this, nor do i care what kinks and fetishes someone has.. but its the fact that while doing all of this he might aswell have stayed on twitter because hes even more full of lulz now that he’s on tumblr. the amount of grandstanding he does is so entertaining so in a twisted way, kinda hope he never stops.

[gennianydots]

Me, a bisexual, watches The Mummy (1999) for the first time

Errant thoughts/me texting my friends about it:

Warning! Spoilers (duh) for the whole movie under cut

Woahhhh helloooo pharoahs mistress

Annnnnnd hello terrible cgi

Oh this burying imotep alive shit is definitely not going to bite us all in the ass again later

Guys i think i figured it out

Imotep is the mummy

We can all go home now

Alright we just met Brendan Fraser who got promoted because the guy with face tattoos chickened out

Run you 90s heartthrob pretending to be in the 1920s, run!

"Lets not kill the main character, just for the lols" - some guy who isnt the main character

Clumsy fmc is clumsy

Meshiver great word lol

An unwarranted kiss!

And now she is going to break him out of jail/save him from death lol

This is very goofy but Brendan Fraser looking exactly like george king of the jungle with his hair all disheveled back there made me giggle and brought back some of my childhood

Oooooo fmc prettyyyyy

Well these other idiots who are gambling on the boat and also looking for hamanaptra are gonna die

Probably from imotep eating their faces

Very suddenly the whole boat is on fire lol

Oooooo the bisexual is bisexualing

I mean me

I’m bisexualing

Evy is real pretty

A smoky eye? In this economy?

We got the camels. The quest is questing

Face tattoo guy! We missed you. (Not really)

Ok we have entered the spooky Egyptian burial site or whatever

This fucking stand off with the american team with the guns up and down is peak comedy

Guy who goes off on his own to find treasure destined to die a horrible death

"Dont put me down for mummification " lolol

Quality writing here

We're camping after finding imoteps carcophagus. And Tattoo guy is back! With his whole crew!

Comic relief brother is being funny

🧐Tattoo guy comes to kill them and then....just doesnt kill them????

He issues a stern warning instead like Brendan and Evy (idk her real name) will obey?

"What is a place like me doing in a girl like this " lololol top quality writing

Clumsy evy is clumsy and adorable when drunk

Evy: “I’ve never seen a mummy look like this hes still.. hes still...”

The boys: “Juicy.”

Haha! 🤣

YES YES AMERICANS AVOIDING ALL SIGNS THAT TERRIBLE DOOM IS UPON THEM IF THEY OPEN SOMETHING

SOMETHING SOMETHING DUMB AMERICANS

The fucking foreshadowing is killing me

Its so heavy handed

Guy who wears glasses has thelma moment

"MY GLASSES!" I’m COMPLETELY BLIND NOW!"

The mummy has awoken

And completely enamoured with evy

The mummy thinks evy is his beloved but then. Brendan STORMS IN and the mummy screams at him and he screams back and fires his gun lololol the mummy fucking ragdollssssss lololol

Oooo the cgi is so bad

And we got caught by.... YOU GUESSED IT FOLKS TATTOO GUY AGAIN

BENI GETTING USED BY THE MUMMY BECAUSE THATS ALL THIS CHARACTER WAS WRITTEN AS

the mummy hand popping out of the sand "LIKE DAISIES!"

Ahhhh! Tattoo guy has a backstory!

OF COURSE (evy is) gonna be a sacrifice

“Well well well. Let me guess...spring cleaning?” GOD BRENDANS QUIPS ARE SO BAD

BREAKING NEWS MUMMY IS TERRIFIED OF CATS 🐱

also ew mummy kissed evy

Nice job in the boils and sores, make-up team

I was right about the mummy stealing the dumb Americans faces 😈

Evy is taken by the mummy

Idk the mummy is kind hunky, it might not be so bad to live with him forever

“Hey winston!! Pedal faster!”

The QUIPPPPSSS

AND winstons dead

Thank you british government for getting us to the climax of the movie

Oooo the mummy has awoken stone ppl

And brendan found the treasure

Hahah i hate it when characters chuck the gun at the bad guys when the ammos out your last ditch effort fails every. time.

Also this like the 8th handgun we have chucked at an enemy- where are we getting all these handguns???

BRENDAN JUST LIT A DYNAMITE USING TATTOO GUYS BEARD WTFFF

And weasel character is a weasel womp womp

Brendan casually killing the cgi mummy priests and then the quip "mummies 🙄" is just so....something

Anddddd (the mummy) is dead!

What a dramatic death lol

And beni dies

👋🏼BYE TATTOO GUY!

SUNSET KISSES 😘 😍

And fin. Welllllp I’m super gay. Bye!

[knottedhearts]

Dress to impress: N.S

You and Nick were knee-deep in the chaos of Dress to Impress, and at this point, the absurdity of the whole thing had reached peak levels. You were both sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the screen as the game timer ticked down, and the fashion showdown was about to begin. Nick had been hyping himself up for this moment all night, and you could already tell this was about to be a spectacle.

The game prompt came up: “Dress for a Beach Party!”

Nick, without missing a beat, leaned forward, his fingers moving with precision as he selected the most ridiculous outfit possible—neon pink flamingo shorts, a fanny pack that had no business being anywhere near a beach, and a sunflower hat that practically screamed, “I’m on vacation but also having an identity crisis.”

When he hit the “Submit” button, he practically jumped out of his seat, fist in the air. “I’m about to slay this,” he said with a grin that could rival any fashion icon.

The countdown on the screen came to an end, and you both stared at the outfits of the other players—some of them, somehow, even worse than Nick's masterpiece.

The fashion show began, and the first few players strutted down the virtual runway, but you couldn’t help but snicker. It was like they had never seen a beach before, let alone a beach party. Then it was Nick’s turn.

He struck an overly dramatic pose, spinning around like he was the star of a high-budget fashion show. “Look at me, bitch, I’m everything,” he shouted at the screen.

The results were in. Your heart was racing, and you could see the moment Nick’s face fell as the screen revealed his score: 7th place.

“No, bitch,” he yelled at the screen, shaking his head in disbelief. “I fucking slayedddd!”

You burst out laughing, clutching your stomach as he threw his hands up in dramatic frustration. “I DONT FUCKING DESERVE 7th PLACE!” he shouted, his voice echoing through the room.

You couldn’t stop laughing, barely able to breathe as Nick stared at the screen, completely outraged. His face was a mix of confusion, disbelief, and a little bit of comedy gold. He stared at the other players’ rankings, absolutely furious that his immaculate beach party look—complete with neon pink flamingos—didn’t take the top spot.

“I am a fashion icon, they don’t get it,” he muttered, glaring at the screen like it had personally wronged him. “How the hell did I not win first place? This is bullshit!”

You were practically crying from laughing so hard, watching Nick rant about the game. It wasn’t just the absurdity of his outfit or his outburst—it was the sheer energy he put into each ridiculous line that made the whole thing ten times funnier.

“Okay, okay, you gotta admit, it was a killer look,” you said, wiping your eyes.

Nick dramatically flopped back onto the couch, groaning. “It was the best fucking look out there, and they gave me 7th? Like, what do I have to do to win this shit? Break out the damn couture next time?”

You snickered. “I mean, I wouldn’t be mad at seeing you walk the runway in a Chanel beach bikini.”

Nick turned to you, eyes wide in mock horror. “Don’t even joke about that—I’ll do it. I’ll fucking show up in a thong and call it ‘high fashion.’”

The two of you cracked up again, the whole situation too ridiculous to be taken seriously. But that was the best part—the absurdity, the laughter, the complete chaos of the game, and just the pure joy of getting lost in the nonsense of it all.