#this is from 4 different videos they've got me fucked up

[mecachrome]

BRITISH GP 2024 | Post-Race Landoscar Roundup

[classicjdog]

CURSE MY FUCKING SHITARSE INTERNET I JUST WANT TO PLAY SOME FUCKING TEKKEN GAAAAHHHHHHHH

REINA IS SO FUCKING SICK AND I CAN'T PLAY HER AGAINST REAL PPL I'M STUCK FIGHTING THE STUPID AI FUCK

[shaisuki]

PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟content warnings angst, blackmailing, name-calling, flashbacks

.᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ notes i'm sorry if you're not being tagged, tumblr have a limit for tagging in a post. thank you all again for the comments.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ taglist: @missakward123 @lupitalove @i00bear @socialanxietyvictim @tourmalxine @labelt-san @ghostlyworld @kashxyou @chiiiiiiiiiiifuuuuuuuu @cute-sucker @skii-high @boyimjustaloserforyourlove @jossayuuu @bubblesandsand1-0 @ply4vnce @witchymermaid12 @luna-v-roiya @mariyumemi @sinfullygay @higurumapet @kvk6433gkcigv @s-j320 @bts-skz @imcreepininyourheartbabe @hazzelle-kento @cashcadaver @n1vi @kiruupon @vebbiewuzhere @its-princessmara @ssetsuka @unicornqueen05 @idkwhattfimdoinghere2 @sunnytyun @tomriddles-wh0re @ya-mamaaaaa @wateriswhatiam @red-writes @saltyladyflower @greyclouq @bahurani @lovayle @okayiamkassandra @sealikesushi @sanzuandmike @spicana @luvsymai @uniquenicefangirl @ushijimaschubbs @lansy-4 @aesonsgirl @eggieshiteru @jellibean2018 @uchihabucketlist @sunaemoby @cupidscourt @divinedolliebun @rottmntrulesall @mmeharuno @sleighter @haesify @desperadaparasapagmamhal @ichikanu @daytej @0honeylemonade

they meet you now after three grueling years and one thing's not changed. is that you still look pretty when you cry.

the chair make a scraping sound as you dragged it to make space for you to get up. standing, you were about to walk out but you stopped. their words and yours ringing through your ears. i'll think about it. that's the most stupid response you ever caught yourself saying. who were you kidding? yourself, maybe. what difference would it make with their words. what kind of making up they can do for you to bury it to puke.

you were too forgiving. that's why they abused you. that's why every tear drop is a smile to them. your pain is nothing to them. that every welts you have in your body, the bruises and the blood spilling when they bite too hard are feeding to their sadistic fantasies and when you got away from that, they've come back to haunt and wanting to reconcile for the damage they put you.

geto puts you the worst of it and gojo is just the same. the same men sharing at your table waiting for your answer. their faces brightening up when you said you'll think about it. what's to think about it when the damages been done and you're too broken to fix what they have done.

slowly, you turn around to meet them still sitting. “there's nothing to think about it.” you began.

their faces morphing into a shock and one you could not describe. “easy for you both to say about reconcilation and forgiveness when you put me through hell.” your voice trembles and you're afraid it would betray you to speak up.

“while you partied hard that night, i was laying in my supposedly death bed. i wished i died that night but i didn't, lucky right?” smiling mockingly, voice dripping with sarcasm and you giggle to yourself like you didn't understand you anymore and your voice died down.

“why did you have to put me in such misery, suguru... satoru?” you asked them, tears slowly dripping from your eyes without you realizing like the days where after they've fucked you, you find yourself staring in nothingness.

“it's because i am fat and ugly and either of you giving me attention will make me feel good about myself being desired? tell me, satoru, suguru. you two were always good with words, explain it to me.” you said it barely a whisper, your voice strained with resentment.

“it's my fault too, you know. i should have let you two released that video. me being called a slut by my peers and a disgrace to my family would be a temporary shame and maybe i won't be living in this eternal suffering and i would be out of your hair and you can't control me no more.” closing your eyes, more tears poured. letting out shaky breaths and you hate yourself for being so weak and stupid. you should have done that. a sex video being circulated online and having a scandal would take days, months top to die down and that was the easiest course for them to leave you alone. it would have ended your misery and you wouldn't be involved with them no more.

the younger them would have laugh at your situation. take pleasure at you crying and would have mocked you for being such a crybaby but this one is different. they were scum and as if they didn't change in the course of the years to take you lightly.

the sight of you crying should have brought them joy but it doesn't. instead with a feeling gnawing in their gut. heart being wringed from how tight it was being squeezed. since when they have learned to grasp this new found sensation of being able to recognize what you were feeling. was it the day when they see again after three years of agonizing wondering where you are and seeing you alive and well and this revelation of being burdened by the unsaid feelings that took you courage to tell them about it.

speechless you are when they took your voice and taught you to turn a blind eye to whatever they did to you and you see them for what they really are or you already have seen them a long ago but you can never speak of it. arrogant and selfish. condescending and sadistic. a touch of being merciful when they wanted it.

standing up from where they sat, without hesitation they approached you. suguru in front while satoru was in your behind. their arms being wrapped around your body. trapping you between their bodies.

“don't you touch me! you both disgust me!” a sob racked throughout your body. angered from how they think they could touch your freely like this. squirming as your fist reach suguru's chest. trying to break free from their grasp and just like the old days when they used to encased you with their bodies, your flight is proven to be useless. “let me go!” a pained gasp escaping from you.

a shiver went down through your spine. goosebumps rising all over your body. suguru's lips are in your ears. “i know. i know.” he whispers. “forget about us asking you to forgive us. you don't have to but let us prove you that i-we have changed. let us, please (y/n). that's all is ask of you.” that was a first you thought. you never heard suguru to be pleading to you when it was the opposite of it and you were the one who is pleading for the times back in college.

satoru's face are buried in the crook of your neck. “that's also what i ask, (y/n). please.” gojo murmurs and you blinked in many times. trying to process who the hell they are to asked you of this. “leave me alone and let me go!” but it wasn't that easy as their hold tightens on you like a boa constricting its prey the more it moves. “i'm sorry, we'll let go once you accepted it.” satoru told you.

sobbing you let out a faint yes before scrambling to get out from their hold. “i need to go now.” you said but suguru grabs your arms and you dared to meet his gaze and there's the purples of his eyes. once that you learned to love. your tears are reduced to droplets and suguru gently wipes it with his thumb. cupping your round cheeks stained with dried tears. “i need to go now.” you repeated and geto gathers the files you have brought for the meeting of your supposed client. stuffing it in your suitcase and you left without giving them a second look.

the doors opened for you and you left. bad habits don't die. when you find yourself troubled you let your feet think where will they bring you with your mind absent for any rational thinking and it only got you of tranced when your phone have been ringing for the past minutes.

you were too distracted to read who's the one calling you and without hesitation you pressed the call button. there's the voice in the other end of the line belonging to nanami. your confidant who helped you get through the worst happenings of your life.

“nanami?” your voice came as hoarse and then a sniffle following through. hearing your sniffles from the other line nanami already knows what you were feeling. “are you crying?” he asks and then there's a sniffle and a sob. he didn't know to ask further. “where are you?” there's a brief silence.

looking at your surroundings it looks like you were in a secluded part of tokyo. the greeneries are present and it was quiet too. “i-i don't know, nanami. i'm kind of lost.” you confessed to nanami and nanami sighs. “stay where you are.” he tells you and you replied with okay.

after describing your surroundings he finds you in a nearby shrine. “(y/n)?” he doesn't need to call you to know it was you. from your corporate attire hugging your plump body and that posture, he knows it is you. turning around he was never prepared to see you looking like you were back in the day where you lay in bed crying.

your voice crumbles and all the strength in your body left you upon seeing him. “what happened?” dropping his suit case without a care in the world to approach you. “i-i meet them.” your voice trembling and he does know who they are. his once concerned expression in his face turned cold upon hearing who you were implying. “did they touch?” cause if they did. jail would be a good place to cool his head. “yes but they wanted to reconcile with me.” you were distraught and nanami thinks how strong you are for standing up for yourself with your former bullies even in this form.

he didn't say another word and came holding you in his arms. your head pressed in his chest where you felt the safest cradled in his arms. his scent comforting you and that's where you cried. nanami doesn't mind of course. for you he would bleed himself dry.

too bad that you can't be with him.

“ah, here they are. the two idiots.” the brunette doctor they have been friends for years greeted them with mock enthusiasm.

“hey there, shoko.” gojo greeted her and shoko lights her cigarette.

“do what i owe you two to drag me in my precious break.” exhaling the fumes of her cigarette while looking at the distance.

they asked her to meet them in one of the places where they usually frequents. a cafe that have a balcony that overlooks the busy streets of tokyo.

“she's back, shoko. alive and well.” shoko raises a brow at them. not believing them for a second but the looks from their faces told her another story. “how you know that. i hope you didn't forced her to meet you two.” the two remained silent and shoko rolls her eyes. “damn assholes you two, classic shit you two pulled again. didn't learn your lesson.” she commented.

“we have to, shoko. she won't meet us.” gojo complains to her. this fucker acts like you forced him. there's no saving these two and shoko wonders how long since she's been putting with these two's bullshit. “how did it go?” she asked, watching as the smoke dissipates in the air.

“she was crying.” suguru replied to her. “that's it? cause if i was her you two wouldn't be leaving that room alive after what you've done to her. hadn't you ruined her life enough?” this is shoko and shoko ieri doesn't beat around the bush.

suguru chuckles. watching his reflection in his cup of tea. “harsh, shoko. we just wanted to patch things up.”

shoko paused. “patch things up? you're more stupid than what i think of.”

he smiles and suguru thinks of you earlier. close he is to you and all he can think is that face of yours. crying and that tears streaming down your face. sick he is for thinking but it sure dig some buried feelings. the softness of your body in his fingertips and hearing your voice again it made him sick. that he just wants you to be his again.

“any advice, sho?” satoru asks her out of the blue.

“my advice is to leave her alone. she doesn't need another reminder of you two.”

“she's working in my company.”

“ha-ha. deep shit you are. life seems you to bring you three closer huh?”

and shoko squashed the cigarette in the ash tray. “i won't meddle in this shit you two are digging. friends we are but you are crossing a line. leave her alone.” shoko warns them before glancing at her watch. “you're keeping me here longer and my break's about to finish. see you two again.” shoko left them. her white lab coat disappearing as she turned a corner.

satoru missed you. even forcing you to accepting the terms earlier it did gave him hope to get closer to you again. feel you and touch you without the stuff they been doing to you when they're young and stupid. it won't be easy. he knows that and what's his money and influence if he can't get you. he was willing to sacrifice things. just say the word and he's going to give it.

they all have one thing running in their minds that day and the days to come. you. it was only you.

[masterqwertster]

I so agree, with your thoughts about Ashton!

It's odd, to me, that Ashton in particular has garnered so much hatred. If you look back on all of Taliesin's characters across every campaign, he's ultimately not that different in personality from the others, save maybe Caduceus. Percy, Molly, and Ashton are all people who have been deeply beaten down by the circumstances they were forced into, and they gained a rough exterior to protect themselves because of it.

They're snarky, and try to act aloof to keep people at an arm's length, but at their core, they still have bleeding hearts that love much more deeply than they probably wish they did. In other words, they are interesting, multilayered characters, that don't just have one note. It's strange then, that these same characteristics are so widely celebrated with Percy and Molly, but are treated as reasons to hate Ashton in the same breath.

Taliesin is a master at making characters that make you think, and I think Ashton deserves to be celebrated as such, just as much as the others!

To be honest, I can't speak much of previous PCs' reception since I only got into CR Tumblr around Bells Hells arriving in Yios, but I think the difference is framing.

Taliesin has stated that his through-line on his PCs is the characteristic Confidently Wrong.

I would guess that the reason Ashton is catching flak is because:

a) they've got shit Charisma and Taliesin plays that as Doesn't Know What to Say and/or Doesn't Know When to Shut Up. Which on a disillusioned/cynical punk is... abrasive to say the least. They tell their truths with little to no filter, or much thought at times about how true those things are for others. Meanwhile, Molly and Percy are charming in carny and nobility ways respectively, while Caduceus has a calm, homey charm. Ashton is semi-intentionally off-putting, and pretty constantly cranky to some degree from chronic pain.

and b) Recently, Ashton is Confidently Wrong about a subject any attentive watcher can tag as being wrong and has major consequences on the world if acted on. Like, yes, you don't want a heartless, powerful murderer to push the Doomsday Button. But your group of caring, weak(? not really anymore) chucklefuck friends pushing the button doesn't change its doomsday nature or really make it any better. Also, all your information on what the Doomsday Button does exactly is suspect. I don't think any of the other's Confidently Wrong subjects were so potentially devastating for more than themselves or their parties rather than the globe. It's easier to grant grace when you're fucking over less people.

Now do I wish Ashton would get a clue that releasing Predathos is bad, period? Absolutely. But I also have been watching him and when they get an idea in their head, he tends to stick to it until proven wrong (think the Spark mess. Fearne hesitated last second, Ashton didn't). And the idea in their head right now is: The gods need to leave, their thrones need to be destroyed.

I think part of Ashton's rage at the gods that fuels this idea is wanting someone to blame that isn't himself for his shit life, and finding the gods a good target for blame, as Taliesin has mentioned on 4-Sided Dive before. And I think part of it is that FCG did a lot of proclaiming to be on the anti-Ludinus/Predathos stuff to save his goddess, and then he died as part of their missions, and then Ashton was shown a video about how the gods absolutely will sacrifice their followers to save their own asses. Which is kind of the situation FCG died in, if you slant it a bit and act like FCG wasn't mainly choosing to save their friends in the moment rather than the gods long-term. So it probably feels better to Ashton to throw some of that anger about FCG making the sacrificial play that he's been trying so hard to prevent at the gods who FCG was trying to serve.

And I get that not everyone wants to do the analysis on why Ashton is picking the path he is. That they don't want to take time to acknowledge his lack of social graces and the bias of his views, and would rather just get to attacking the faulty, insensitive rhetoric Ashton's spouting at the moment. But like, there's reasons Ashton is the way they are, and it doesn't hurt to acknowledge them even as you hard disagree with what's being said or strived for.

[ngray192]

Ok, Chaos Theory came out and I watched ALL OF IT.

So, I'm gonna share every thought I had while watching, with no context whatsoever!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!

• Brooklyn is already dead ig

• The animation is beautiful

• Darius to the rescue!!

• He's so grown up

• Hes still so Darius

• Sammy would be proud

• This animation is gorgeous omg

• He took mannerisms from his friends omg

• Allosaurus killed Brooklyn!!!?!?

• Omg this show is darker than the first

• His groceries are gonna fly out

• Curse, I know you want to

• Is it a gun gun or tranq gun?

• Omg is he leaving voicemails to Dead Brooklyn??

• Did they get Jenna Ortega back or no?

• He's got a little cabin

• Wtf is that gun??

• Brand!!

• He's like 20 rn?

• CAMP FAM

• Kenji and Darius had a falling out??

• AAAA NEWS VIDEOS

• I miss them

• Someone do the "despite everything it's still you"

• Ok he slayed that electric staff whip tho

• BEN

• He's anxious af

• HES STILL WEARING A FANNY PACK

• God this is so sad wtf

• Ofc there's a site caller Dark Jurassic

• I saw this scene in the clip already

• Teamwork

• That was the whole episode?!

2

• "Aw crud"

• Someone broke the fence

• Why did you park so far away??

• Ofc he drives a van

• The eyessss

• Lockwood Estate mentioned

• Always the logical one

• He wrote down his theories

• Boyfriends??

• "Dork pouch"

• BUMPY DRAEN ON THE WHITEBOARD

• NO HESITATION LMAO

• He's so goofy I love him

• Facial expressions on point

• SHE SENDS CARE PACKAGES

• "Yee-haw"

• Do they only have one picture of them all?

• It's a female voice??

• Oh it was Brooklyn

• They didn't even try to make her sound the same

• I don't like her hair

• She's still Brooklyn

• Isn't that the plot of someone's fanfic on the Discord??

• Someone's gonna read that scene as romantic

• Ben is a reckless driver god damn

• Where are they that they can drive to Texas easily?

• Move dino move!!

• No rear view mirror doesn't sound safe

• Let this boy pee

• BENJAMIN

• He's so done with him

• Hes giving season 4 episode 2

• Boyfriends??

• NERDS

• OMG FIRE

• Hero Ben!!

• Ew the face

• Camp fammmmm

• THE HEAT WAVES this animation is everything

• We get different end-credits every ep??

3

• Cows!

• "Chip me"

• He's so happy to see the ranch

• The ranch is so Sammy

• Awww she's so Farm Girl

• She's STRONG

• She got tall lmao

• Bessie had a calf?!?

• Do Yaz and Sammy usually live together?!!

• "Ding-dong"

• NO FUCKING WAY

• ITS BUMPY!!!!!!

• THE PUPILS

• THIS IS EVERYTHING

• Is Mantah Corp back??

• KILL HIM BUMPY

• Boooo Sammy

• Fuck Carl

• She's an herbivore tf

• Me and Ben on the same wavelength fr

• Tell him, Sammy

• Let this girl have her pie

• She's Sammy, but she's grown up a lot

• She still has her jacketttt

• What happened to her???

• She's so saddd

• Why aren't her parents talking to her??

• NOT YAZ PULLING AWAY

• Don't split up!!

• Omg Carl

• Communication through hand signalsss

• That shot with the raptor and the moon tho

• We haven't had many cute moments yet, it's really about survival now, they've really grown up

• Not the pieeee

• The genuine fear in her eyes holy shit

• BUMPY

• No more Beanie Ben

• So now he has a rear view mirror

• This reminds me a lot of Jurassic Park 2

4

• This episode is titled Brothers

• Season 3 episode 7 vibes

• I love how Ben loves Bumpy

• Their faces are so close

• BENJAMIN

• HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

• Fucking liar lmao

• Does Kenji blame him???

• THEY STILL GLOW

• God I cannot get over the animation

• Poor boy kenji???

• The kick lmao

• He almost sounds like Ryan Porter

• He's not the tallest anymoreeee

• Benji???

• He doesn't act like Kenji 100% but it's still there

• I miss Ryan Porter

• Another framed photo!!

• They use the words "death" and "dead" a lot, but not "died" or "killed"

• DANIEL KON?!??!

• Yes, go get your girl

• Ok but Sammy and Ben are so Mom and Dad

• Good thing he just had spare gear???

• Oh it's probably for Brooklyn

• That shot he looked so much like Little Darius

• Oh no they broke up, so sad 😐

• Woah

• Valid reason to break up

• He's completely valid for being mad idc

• NOOO DONT GET BUMPY

5

• COMPIES

• Ofc he loves this kind of music

• You guys are supposed to be family tho

• DAMN THATS COLD

• EVERY WEEK I love Kenji

• "Love you" awwww

• She's so sassy I love her

• The head sway omgggg

• The carobbbb

• These background characters are way too hyped for this

• Bobby Nublar?

• Awww poor baby dino

• Free the dinos!!

• Oh he got OLD

• Damn straight in there

• She's so hurt :(

• He only thought Sammy was suspicious

• Creepy ass big ass forehead bitch

• Daniel Kon is a LIAR

• We should've gotten Kenji speaking Japanese in JWCC

• Love sassy Kenji

• "Yeah ok, I'll get my violin" GIRL

• Omg he almost punched Ben

• Yesss Sammy beat the shit out of him

• Those are the smallest corn dogs ever

• You're a shit dad

• What?! Brooklyn would never

• Kenji and I are on the same wavelength

• Different? Was it her voice?

• Are those lillies?

• These bitches are everywhere

• Kill Daniel

• He's old af hes about to have a heart attack anyway

• DAWG WHO TF ARE YOU

• CREEPY ASS BITCH

• Shitttt Daniel tackled that raptor

• Holy shit they killed Kenji's dad

• She's so fucking creepy omg

• I hope she's not from Dominion cause I haven't watched that

• Who's driving the car???!

6

• YAZ

• She's coping!!

• She wants to make it work!!!

• Ok but the crop top on Yaz???

• THE PICTURE ON HER PHONE

• Ben is everything this season

• "Love you too" AWWWW

• Where is there an island in Wyoming??

• She's so nervous/excited

• They're perfect together

• "Fadoula"

• She's happy here. Writers, let her be happy

• "Benny-boy"

• She's so geeky

• "Your favorite"

• They're all the same but so grown up

• Ben's scream lmao

• BENS SO SUPPORTIVE

• So Brooklyn has been dead less that 14 months

• They're both valid in this argument

• Ok but Ben and Yaz friendshipppp

• Is Ben actually dating someone??

• Ooo that's a cool dino

• Omg this show is darker than the og

• How did she walk so far??

• Yaz holding Ben's arm is cute tho

• Girlfriendssss

• BIG BEN

• Dumbass DPW

�� Wtf??

• Omg

7

• Therapy girlfriend to the rescue

• Omg I forgot about Darius and Kenji

• Noooo baby boy Kenji

• Wow 2 major deaths already

• God I love Ben

• I feel like they should've drowned by now

• They held hands while swimming up

• Aw he has a daughter

• He lowkey sounds like Ryan Porter

• Idc about this Brooklyn death backstory

• Sammy looks fucking crazy in their one picture of the 6

• Ben 3rd wheeling just like all of season 5

• Their heads SLAMMED together

• He's so weird about this car lmao

• The car scene is funny

• They're in Colorado now??

• This hill is STEEP

• He's been waiting to throw those phones for DAYS

• Why tf would he be coming with you?

• Why did I believe the voicemail?? I saw her phone get ruined

• Darius CALM DOWN let kenji have at least something about Brooklyn DAMN

• Dude this mystery is DEEP

8

• Reminds me of Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom

• Gonna barf because of this "bwookie bear" scene

• He always has been a bad liar

• Sammy is physically fight for EVERYBODY'S lives

• Omg we're actually doing the Darius×Brooklyn plot??

• So that means no Ben×Darius plot???

• BUMPY (again)

• What did they do to you, Bumps???

• "Oh heyyyy" "boo" I LOVE THEM

• I love a good chase scene

• If a car can just drive through it, that fence was shit

• Nobody does a stampede like this show does

• Lots of death (even if they're all cutaways)

9

• God I'm flying through this show

• The heartbeating is EVERYTHING

• Anxious girlfriends

• More good camerawork and angles

• Ofc they'd be good at charades

• Are there still no male dinosaurs?

• Big Eatie mentioned

• "Ok I get it, you're a climber"

• Oh are Camp Fam at the same place?

• She's sick???

• If Bumpy dies I'll kms

• Why is he just carrying a stick?

• GIRL STOP KICKING THINGS

• I love reunions

• No cause why am I sad

• Did he call her "MICROBANGS"

• They're still the same kids from the island and I love that

• Once again, they're so Mom and Dad

• Is she in labor?!?!?!

• YOU CANNOT SCARE US LIKE THAT

• What're they gonna name the egg?!??!

10

• Last episodeeee

• Oh shit we used the word "killed"

• His hat is so tall

• Omg he shocked Ben

• Benji?

• We have so much to wrap up in 23 minutes

• This is lowkey scary

• This is so suspenseful

• She looks familiar

• THE FIRST PERSON SHOTS IN THISSSS

• Is she just dead then???

• Toro!!

• THE EXPLOSION BEHIND THE T-REX IM SORRY THAT WAS AWESOME

• THEY'RE ADORABLE

• The slow-motion scene is so cool

• Coolest dino fight ever

• FUCKING CREEPY BITCH

• Awww she's bonding? with her guard-raptors? I don't care

• Wait is that it??

• They better make another season

• Everyone's so happy for Darius being in love

• She didn't feel the same?! THATS why he didn't show???

• I fucking knew she was still alive

• SHE LOST AN ARM?!

• Her hair got even worse

• So we're getting another season???

[mangotangerine]

random rambles about fanfic

the winter sadness has captured my soul and what normally takes me 1 week is now taking 2 (ch36 of it's not murder, it's research and waste disposal will be up tomorrow) and it makes me sad and weirdly worried that people will lose interest, so i'm going to ramble at the like 7 people who follow me for my radiostatic human AU about the fic because i can't take ADHD meds at 9:52 PM and thus am incapable of wrangling together this 8k behemoth of a chapter that's now going to be 2 chapters because I've still got like 2k words to go and then rounds of editing

chapter 7 of when boys grow up is also mostly done so that should be this week as well.

anyway, rambling below the cut for people interested in the writing process & the differences between the two fics (beyond the obvious)

I have never, before this year, written anything longer than like... 22k. now i've got a 180k (completed!!!! what the fuck!!!!) hellaverse crossover fic that's arguably the most hilarious thing I've ever written (Accidental Bodyguard for Hire for anyone interested. very different vibe but good times and hijinks, the series it belongs to is 260k and has canonverse radiostatic) and the first thing I have seriously written in literal years. I mean I've sort of been working on two original things over the past 4-ish years but writing in isolation, without the feedback you get from fanfiction, is hard.

I got laid off (along with the rest of the company) from a damn good job March 1st and it took until late June to get another one and filled my idle time getting my writing skill back to where it was when I stopped approximately 5 years ago. I'm mostly there now, I think, nowhere to go but up from here. The rewritten maman marie scene from chapter 18 (which I rewrote as an exercise prior to writing the spirit marriage scene in chapter 27) is I think when I got back to where I used to be before.

Anyway, it's not murder (inm) started as a thinly veiled excuse to write radiostatic smut where Vox didn't have a TV for a head (hence chapter 1's "sometimes you just want them to kiss without alastor licking a television" author's note) and turned into... what it is now. This 200k+ exploration of the human condition behemoth with a vague plotline (and more smut scenes than chapters), and a challenge to see how dirtynastywrong I could get my writing.

I have a vague idea of how it's going to end (and have the catalyst scene mostly written) so everything in between is me being like "haha what if this happened" and hoping the whole thing doesn't become boring and repetitive.

I kind of waffle between, "this is fanfiction you don't need to write this like it's a novel" and, "but the plot is all over the place and there is no clear delineation between each arc so it must be getting boring and too long" and have mostly settled on "fuck it, it's fanfiction" for inm.

I'm always thrilled every time someone comments or says they've reread it even once because like WOW somebody LIKES MY ART, especially so with the OCs I've written in (so many people always say they hate OCs, but I like to think I've done a good job with mine).

Especially because the fic has become something beyond the initial plan. I didn't go into this thinking I'd explore trauma, the real impact of Hurricane Katrina, racial themes, critically endangered languages, or learn half as much as I have about the human body, let alone do it as elegantly as I seem to have managed.

You should see the amount of fucking scientific journals I've downloaded and read, surgery videos I've watched and anatomical models I've studied to make sure I get this shit right (apart from like the obvious "suspend your disbelief about the lack of safe sex and atrocious lab etiquette and the fact that these two somehow have yet to be caught and the CIA doesn't work like that really but I do know the pay scale is correct because I researched that") and I'm just... really glad people are enjoying it.

Some shit is off the cuff but so much of it is intentional choices made that I don't think are obvious at the surface level—vox being big and buff and also a subby little bitch boy who calls alastor baby as a subversion to the "smaller character is the bottom" trope; *so* much of alastor's history and character a deliberate subversion to racial tropes; taking care to flesh the side characters out as believable people with inner worlds (i even made some spotify playlists for vox, alastor, catarina and velvette as a fun little exercise); figuring out what traumatic, lifechanging incidents could have happened to turn these two characters into violent serial killers; figuring out how to navigate sexual assault and child abuse without it coming across as overdramatic and titillating for entertainment effects; showcasing two objectively monstrous people as sympathetic humans with brief "oh yeah I forgot they're literally fucking evil" moments because i feel like it's important to remember even the monsters amongst us are just as human as we are, anyone is capable of great evil—there's a lot more, but I wouldn't have been able to work through any of it without all the comments and encouragement.

most of INM is still like off the cuff random "haha what if" scenarios, vs. when boys grow up (wbgu) which is meticulously plotted out with a beginning and a middle and an end, figuring out how to weave in bits and pieces of wbgu to inm and inm to wbgu along the way, and like if anyone wants any resources on louisiana creole (a critically endangered language) I have so much. I spent hours and hours but managed to dig up a copy of an old out-of-print dictionary, even.

there's a lot more "exploring the human condition and specifically xyz" i have planned for wbgu but those are spoilers so you cannot know about them!

I don't know why I wrote all this out tbh, some of it is like a "thank you for the support, this is what i've been able to accomplish because of you, you have no idea how much it means to me" and some of it is like a "see! it's not just brainfucking torture porn! i put thought into it!" kinda thing and some of it is a "please don't get bored of me i put so much work and thought into this shit"

and some of it is a "hey ask questions there is so much that will not make it into the fic that has a big behind-the-scenes impact"

so, uh, thank you, i guess. especially if you've read this far. look for 2 new chapters before american thanksgiving, one for inm & one for wbgu, and feel free to ask whatever questions you might have because there's a 99% chance i've thought about it and made a deliberate choice around it.

[goldennika]

Initial Thoughts on TXT's Minisode 3: Tomorrow

Overall I think this album sounded the most sonically cohesive from their entire discography so far! I haven't read the articles about the album yet but it seems like they've deviated a bit from their usual approach of exploring different genres in a single album and kinda stuck to more of a band sound this time around?

Sure, they experiment with layers and singing styles but I’ve really felt (and liked!) the band influence across the different tracks!

The way the music builds in each track is delightful albeit seems a wee predictable. I am a sucker for a good guitar and bassline though so this album suited my tastes

Currently (and surprisingly) my favorite track upon first listen would probably be Deja Vu (Anemoia Remix)! I honestly wished the remix ver would have been the title track instead 🥺

The original ver is probably more palatable for general population though and lends itself better to their type of choreography than the Anemoia remix would so I understand why the title track is so.

My favorite track off this album would likely change after I’ve read through the lyric translations and give the album a few more listens.

If I’m being honest, I think this album would be more of a slow burn type of in terms of how quickly it grows on me, compared to their earlier releases (particularly Temptation and Freefall).

I’ve genuinely enjoyed these tracks! But I can’t say that I loved the album and I think a factor in my tempered response to Minisode 3 is just how short they all are!! 😩

The entire (mini) album’s duration is just 17 minutes for 7 tracks!! It felt like just as I was getting into the groove and spirit of the track, it just… ends 🥲 IMO, these shorter track durations may end up hurting them in the long run as they sacrifice the listening experience for convenience of streaming 😔

That said, it makes Deja Vu an impressive feat that it has such a cinematic and immersive feel, and done in less than 3 minutes!

In any case, I will be listening to these tracks more and am looking forward to catch their performances throughout this comeback!

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading and i’d love to hear your thoughts too!

If you want to see my raw thoughts for each track, you can find them below the cut!

Track 1: I'll See You There Tomorrow

yes lower register TXT let's gooooo

sounds like a video game bg music? haha

ooh when the music built up it got funky

ugh love me a good bassline

this is kinda cute???

funkyyyyyyyyy

am digging the old school vibe to this

*head bops*

ok this is rly growing on me

the layers to the music is just 😩

IMAGINE HEARING THIS WITH A LIVE BAND I WOULD ASCEND

Track 2: --- -- --- .-. .-. --- .--  (Tomorrrow)

uhm yeah

so....

that's a morse code alright....

Track 3: Deja Vu

ok technically not a first listen since i've watched the MV already but here we go anyway!!

the high pitched warpy sound at the start -- i like it

this feels like R&B-ish?

their verses seem almost spoken than sung

different from how they usually are

the little music break after the first chorus, mhmm

that clarity was delicious

this song feels so... ambient? if that makes sense

like there's a distant thunderstorm almost?

and the sirens blaring??

THIS SONG SOUNDS LIKE AN ENTIRE MOVIE??????

and they did that with a 2:51 duration ??

Track 4: Miracle (A miracle happens at every moment that you and I are together)

really liking the piano

ooh the build up of the instrumentals

EYYYYYYYYY

leaked image of me listening to this track

oooh it got rock band-y

oh this would be AMAZING to hear live!!

ugh the harmonizing in the second verse/pre-chorus YES 😩

looooove the energy on this one

they are killing the instrumentals on this album

I CAN'T STOP HEADBOPPING

OH SHIT THE GUITAR IS HITTINNGGGGGGG

wow ok i loved that one

Track 5: The Killa (I Belong to You)

sexy start okayyyy

is this Spanish guitar?

the finger plucking(?) style 😩

OH WHAT THE FUCK

EXCUSE ME THE HARMONIZING???????????

DEADDDDDD

oh this range and style suits Soobin so well??

mhmmm the adlibssss

i swear those harmonies will be the death of me

the guitarrrrrrrrr 😩

Track 6: Quarter Life

istg the instrumentals are so good here

band txt is one of my fave genres

*head bops*

the build up is delicious

oh i'll bet kai enjoyed this one haha

LET'S GO BEOMGYUUUUUU

whoever thought of putting the maknaes together for this track is a genius

another great song to hear live

claiming this as Beomgyu's song bc wow

THAT WAS TOO SHORT WTF 😭

Track 7: Deja Vu (Anemoia Remix)

THE GUITAR!!!!!!

WHY CAN'T THIS HAVE BEEN THE ORIGINAL VERSION

PLEASE LET US HAVE BAND TXT AS THE MAIN CONCEPT NEXT TIME 😭

ugh i can't resist a good bassline

wtf i swear we were robbed that this is just a remix and not the original song 😭

THE ADLIBS!!!!!!!!!

SING IT TERRYYYYY

WTF THIS IS A ROBBERY FRRRRRR 😭

pls let this listing be an April Fools joke and this is actual the title track 🥹

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 10)

hi everyone! thoughts on God of Music??? I finally listened to it over the weekend (still have to listen to the mini album). Maybe it's just me or maybe i'm just into different music these days, but it was not my cup of tea. it felt too cookie cutter for me? the meaning was sweet and the visuals were vibrant. loved the saturation of the video. naturally they all looked great. and i loved getting to see coups' parts. but overall? i was underwhelmed by the song. shall listen to the whole mini album before i post again. then we'll see. BIPOC rec (been a while since i've done one of these): Portrait of a Thief - Grace D. Li. A book about art, art heists, colonialism of Western museums, experience as children of immigrants. For a debut novel, I was pleasantly impressed. Was a bit disappointed, but overall, a good read.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader/fem!OC

w.c. 3.7k (a bit longer than the past parts, just because I didn't really wanna break these sections up)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9

"You're going to have to talk to them alone," Jihoon says when they pull up to the first house. "Because if it's a demon—"

"Okay, but we need a real game plan now," she says. "Because what are we trying to do?"

Jihoon taps his fingers on the steering wheel. "We obviously know what they're trying to do, but how are they trying to do it? What's the purpose of going through humans and dumping their bodies?"

"My guess was create as much havoc as possible without drawing attention from the angels."

"Confirm it."

She frowns but decides this isn't the hill to die on. She climbs out of the car, but Jihoon quickly leans across the gear shift so he can meet her eye.

"Scream if they try to possess you or kill you."

"And you'll come running?" She slams the door closed. She looks both ways before crossing the street, because dying from a car accident on her way to ask a potential demon what the fuck he's doing is not how she wants to go out.

She glances down at her outfit, realizes who she can pretend to be, and pulls her phone out. Luckily, this is also the bag with her tiny sketchbook in it, so she takes that out too. When she knocks at the door, she has a cover story ready.

The person who opens the door is the person they're looking for: Rhett Palmater, gang member.

Well, ex-gang member. She'd had time to do a brief social media search, scrolling and reading posts prior to his hospital stay. They show an ex-gang member trying to turn his life around. Until he got shot. And wound up in his mother's care.

"Hi, are you Rhett Palmater?"

The man gives her a once over. When his gaze meets hers, she knows. There's a demon in there. His pupils have either dilated so much that they've completely overtaken his irises, or possession changes eye colour. His eyes almost feel hollow.

"I am."

Voice sounds normal enough.

She makes up a name and tells him she's a journalist. "I'm doing a story on gang members who are interested in leaving the gang life. I was just wondering if you would be willing to chat about your story." When he doesn't respond immediately, she adds, "I wouldn't name you, of course. I know you were in the hospital recently."

Rhett gives her a slow once over. This would have been unsettling in and of itself. However, knowing there's a demon possessing this man's soul, she feels even more discomforted. Her mother's words ring in her head. 

Stand straight, be powerful. There aren't any other humans with angel-demon blood running through them. She can feel her mother straightening her spine. Don't let them in.

At that last statement from her mother, she thinks of Jihoon. Who she had definitely let into her head, even if it was just to ease her suffering.

"You came alone?" Rhett asks. His eyes go out to the street over her head.

She nods.

The way his lip curls sends a shiver down her spine. "Come in."

Jihoon watches the human disappear into the home. When the door shuts, Jihoon frowns. He is suddenly feeling very antsy about her going in alone. He hesitates, worried about getting caught. Resigned, he gets out and walks across the street. Sneaking around the side of the house, he tries to find a window he can see into.

The first few windows look into a relatively empty living room. They don't seem to be there.

However, he notices a faint smoke trail on the floor, floating out from another doorway. But he can't get too far, because he's met with a gate.

Experience tells him that this gate will be noisy. Experience also tells him that there will likely be a dog on the other side that he'll need to placate. Jihoon soundlessly scales the gate and peers over the edge. Sure enough, there's a dog staring up at him. It's a black dog, medium-sized. Jihoon's bad at differentiating between dog breeds, but black dog and unlikely to maul or attack him are the only things he really needs to know.

The dog is quiet, ears back. Jihoon swears is shaking.

This dog is not going to attack, but it may definitely start barking. Jihoon slides down the other side and squats in front of the dog, one hand out to it.

Jihoon tries to keep his voice gentle and non-threatening. He lets the dog decide whether it wants to come to him or not.

It sniffs him out but recoils so quickly, Jihoon realizes what the dog is smelling.

You know I'm a demon.

"Are you scared of your owner in there?" Jihoon whispers. "He's probably really different from what you remember, hmm?"

Jihoon takes the time to talk to the dog for a while, reassuring it that it will be okay. "I need to check on the person your owner let in. Is that okay?"

The dog doesn't know what he's saying, that's obvious, but Jihoon still thinks he should ask for its consent. When the dog simply watches him as he checks a few more windows, Jihoon has made a decision.

The dog trails after him as he moves along the side of the house. Jihoon peers through every window until he finally finds one he can look through that won't get him caught. The human has her back against the wall, which is probably a smart move; the demon across from her.

They each have a glass of water before them, the human also has a notebook in front of her. He wonders what she's asking, because it seems the demon is doing most of the talking.

Is this demon just laying out the Grand Plan? That would make his life a lot easier if that was the case.

Jihoon feels the dog curl around his feet. It seems to be sleeping; most of the shaking seems to have stopped. He gives the dog a quick pat before straightening up again.

He happens to catch the human's eye. Her gaze darts back to the demon across from her. She nods and jots something down.

Jihoon makes sure the rest of the interaction goes well, and when they start to stand, Jihoon acts on the decision he'd made earlier. He scoops the dog up and hurries to the gate. He launches the dog over the fence, making sure to quickly follow after it. He manages to catch the dog before it hits the ground, and it stares up at him with fearful eyes.

"Sorry, can't scale a gate, race some humans, and carry you. Come on." He sprints across the street, shutting the car door, dog tossed in the back seat, just as the human exits Rhett Palmater's home.

He placates the dog with head pats until she climbs into the car next to him. Her cheeks are red, and her hands are shaking.

"Good?" Jihoon asks. He scans over her, making sure she hasn't been possessed.

"Fine. That was terrifying." She takes a few deep breaths before realizing they aren't alone in the car. "Where did you get a dog?"

"I didn't get a dog. You got a dog."

"Where did you get me a dog?" She twists in her seat and the dog rests its head on the center console between them. When she holds a hand out to it, it nudges its nose against her fingers. She gives it a scratch behind the ears.

"I stole the dog for you."

Her jaw drops. "You stole a dog of an ex-gang member?"

"I stole the dog of an ex-gang member who is now being possessed by a demon for you."

She shakes her head. "This is a lot to process."

"What did you learn? What were you writing in there?"

She relays what had happened from the second she stepped foot into the house. As she does so, she punches in the next patient's address into the GPS.

"How did you even get him to talk about the demon stuff?" Jihoon asks, pulling out of the parking spot. Their new furry acquirement moves to the window and watches the house disappear.

She reaches back a hand to pet the dog. "Why don't you sit and watch the traffic?" she asks the dog. It moves to her side of the car, and she asks Jihoon to crack the window open.

Reluctantly, because he feels stupid for indulging this dog's whims even more, he opens the window a crack.

"Once I got him talking, it was actually pretty easy to ask him anything. What's he going to assume? That I know he's a demon? We started talking about Heaven and Hell. Started talking about the reasons why he wanted to leave the gang. I asked him if it was because he found God."

Jihoon snorts. "What did he say?"

"Started bad-mouthing God, obviously. Asked him if he believed in that kinda stuff. God and the devil and whatnot. He asked me if I really believe the world is so good. I said no, and he went on this passion speech about how the world is tipping to chaos."

"Tipping to chaos," Jihoon echoes.

She nods. "He mentioned that there are servants 'all over the globe'."

"So, it's not isolated here." Jihoon flicks his left turn signal and listens to its rhythmic click as he thinks.

"No, and he also alluded to something big coming. I asked how he knew and if he knew what it was, but he wouldn't speak more on it. Thought I should get out of there before I could show my hand. My questions were getting pretty specific."

Jihoon hums. It was a good call to get out of there. "Something big is coming."

"Yes."

"Nothing in his house to show what that is?"

She shakes her head. "No. He was clearly in the middle of working when I got there."

"Working? On what?"

"No idea." She turns when the dog starts whimpering. "Do you want to come sit here?"

"No, human. He stays back there."

"You can't be allergic to dogs."

"Why can't I be?"

"You're a demon. Does your body even work like a human's?"

"It might."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine." Unbuckling her seatbelt, she grumbles about useless demons. This time, he definitely hears her. Then she's climbing over the gearshift.

"What are you doing?" Jihoon demands. He nudges her butt to help her into the back seat.

"You've kidnapped a terrified dog, and it doesn't even know where we're going or who we are." The dog rests its head in her lap and the whimpering stops. She scratches behind its ears and takes a few deep breaths. "You're going to need a bath when we get home, pup."

"So, the possessed human said that something big is coming, we don't know what."

"Well, let's see if the others will be more forthcoming."

Two of the patients weren't home. Neighbours had told her that one had gotten evicted; the other had moved abroad. Another patient hadn't been seen or heard from in months.

"I called the police, because I was getting worried," The elderly neighbour had said when she'd knocked on their door. "She doesn't have any family members, but I know she was putting herself through school."

She doesn't ask what exactly the elderly woman meant. But she hopes the girl knew that someone was looking out for her.

"We'd made a sort of code. She'd knock on my door in a specific pattern to let me know she was back and safe. I haven't heard the knock in a while, and then she just stopped coming home."

She can guess where the young woman had gone.

She collapses onto her couch. Yawning, she lays onto her side. Both angel and demon are now standing in her living room. Hansol's on his way with a very late dinner. Her new dog, Pup, is curled on the floor next to the couch.

She and Jihoon go back and forth on what it could mean that two of the patients aren't home. They've been at it all day.

"Well, Rhett did say there were servants all over the globe," Jihoon starts.

"You think they've moved to join some sort of cause?"

Seokmin has been watching their conversation volley, impressed at the way they finish each other's thoughts. "Seems you two are getting on well."

She and Jihoon share a look before he begins pacing in front of the TV. She turns to Seokmin. "What did you and Sollie find at Mrs. Han's?"

Before Seokmin can respond, the door opens.

"I've brought food for the supernaturals!" Hansol calls. He joins them in the living room and kneels next to the coffee table. The man has been obsessed with tacos lately for some reason. Despite Jihoon's annoying protests at tacos, she'd told Hansol to buy whatever he was craving.

When he notices Pup on the floor by her feet, Hansol stares a few seconds before saying, "I didn't get any tacos for our new friend."

She scratches Pup behind the ears. Both feel much better now that he's had a bath. "That's okay. We stopped by to grab food for him on the way home."

Hansol doles out the food to his friends, already knowing what they wanted. He looks up at Jihoon. "Figured you'd want something spicy. Being a demon and all." He sets a box on the table with four large Xs on it.

"Does that mean you took all the toppings off?" Jihoon asks as he picks up the box.

She chuckles as she tilts her head to take a bite. "No. It means it's going to literally burn a human mouth."

"Yeah, they triple checked that that is what I asked for on the phone," Hansol says. He falls back on his butt. "I hope it's okay, hyung."

The honorific makes her choke on her taco. "You're going to start being casual with the demon?"

Hansol shrugs. He pulls a tiny piece of meat from his taco and holds it out to Pup. It seems Pup has gotten used to the demon and angel aura, but he clearly prefers the humans. "I need to be nice to the demon, don't I? He can take my soul."

She glances at Jihoon, who is munching quite happily through his first spicy taco. "I don't think this demon wants your soul."

Once everyone's settled and she's brought refreshments to the table, Jihoon asks again what the angel and Hansol found at Mrs. Han's.

"Well, as I was about to say, Hansol said all she had back there was a computer."

"Seokmin hyung got me in through the back alleyway door."

"We were debating just going in there without my distracting her," Seokmin continues. "But I was worried she'd be sat right at the computer."

"Which she was. I caught her leaving just as I pushed the door open. But anyway, while hyung was distracting Mrs. Han, I poked around in the back. There isn't anything back there. It's just a storage room, and she has a computer."

With his mouth full, Jihoon asks what was on the computer.

She waves him off for bad manners, clicking her tongue in annoyance. Jihoon rolls his eyes.

"Well, she was watching a drama."

"Did you click around on the computer?" she asks.

"I snooped, but there didn't seem to be anything of interest on it. But I can't say for sure."

She sighs and turns to Seokmin. "Theories?"

"For the black smoke literally spilling out of her back room? Sollie took photos." He juts his chin in Hansol's direction. "Show them."

"She didn't hear the shutter sound?" she asks, stepping over Pup to sit by Hansol on the floor. Pup scoots forward to rest his head on her leg.

"I downloaded another photo app."

Jihoon moves to stand behind them, careful not to drop any food on the floor in case Pup tries to eat it. "Why?"

"Turning off the shutter sound on the phone's camera is illegal," she explains.

Jihoon's expression can only be described as one of disdain.

"It's made me very aware of people taking creepy pictures of me."

"Then can't everyone do what Hansol did?"

"Sure, but for some reason, they don't."

"Oh-kay," Seokmin butts in. "Hansol, photos."

Hansol holds his phone up so that everyone can see. Then he flicks through very slowly.

"Well, it's obviously coming from the computer," Jihoon states. "Now, I really wish you'd looked at the computer properly."

She swats Jihoon's leg behind her, as she leans against Hansol's arm to get a closer look. "Sol can't see it."

"See what?" Hansol asks.

She gets up, despite Pup's protests, and eases around Jihoon to get to her desk. When she returns, she has a scrap piece of paper and a pencil in hand. She does a very arbitrary sketch of the desk, computer, and the black smoke coming off the computer. "To us, the photo looks like this."

"That's... what all your building drawings look like."

"And that's what we're concerned about," Seokmin explains.

"But those were associated with bodies when we went." Jihoon finishes the last of his taco. He straightens up to look at Seokmin, arms crossed over his chest. "It's not just bodies."

"You guys said that all the people that you spoke to said something big was coming."

"Which we assumed was the Grand Plan."

"It ends in the Final Day. But it's hard to stop it if we don't know how they're doing it."

"Which is the problem."

"So, we've gotten nowhere."

The humans watch them talk before Hansol says, "Well, we're somewhere. You guys thought it was just bodies. We can assume now that it's anything 'bad', and can be attributable to the Grand Plan."

"Attributable," she murmurs, nudging Hansol. "Good word."

Hansol smirks.

"Hansol's right," she says so that the supernaturals can hear. "We know that they're thinking that something else is happening."

Jihoon hums. "Do we know that?"

"Yes." She tips her head back to meet his eye. "Demons have been pretty direct in my knowledge. 'Something big happening' is really vague by demon standards. That suggests that they also don't know what's going on."

Seokmin nods, picking up another taco. "That's a good point. It must be something that the demons can't even fathom."

Jihoon doesn't know why, but he feels offended.

"Could it be possible that Mrs. Han is possessed too? And whatever I took pictures of are just remnants from her having been in the room?" Hansol asks. He looks between Jihoon and Seokmin. "Can demons even possess angels?"

The two supernaturals size each other up.

"Unknown." Jihoon's gaze drops down to Pup, who is looking up at him with begging eyes. "You can't eat this. Steal from Hansol."

Pup wiggles his way between her and Hansol.

She leans back on her hands to look up at Jihoon. "What do you need to possess someone? A vulnerable host, right?"

"Sometimes people just let us possess them." He scowls at her. He actually hates this parasite description.

She either doesn't notice or doesn't care about Jihoon's irritation. She leans against Hansol, deep in thought. 

"We can't just ask her, can we?" Hansol asks.

"Who? Mrs. Han?" She shakes her head.

Jihoon looks to Seokmin. He hadn't been paying much attention to whether the older angel did or did not have a soul. "Did you notice Mrs. Han having a soul?"

Seokmin nods, running his hand over his face. "She had one."

"Then it's most likely the computer." She turns to Hansol, making sure not to squish Pup in the process. "Can I see the picture again?"

Hansol hands the phone over to her. She zooms in on the computer screen.

"What are you trying to see?" Seokmin squats down next to her to look over her shoulder.

"Whatever's on her dang screen."

Despite zooming in as much as she can, the icons are still quite blurry. She, Hansol, and Seokmin are able to pick out some of the obvious applications. They go back and forth on a few of them, Seokmin going so far as to looking them up. They're left with 3 that they can't identify.

"Why does this old woman have so many apps?" Jihoon laid down on the couch, Pup snuggling against his side. He gives the dog languid pets and can feel Pup fall asleep again.

Angrily, Hansol ruffles his hair. "I'm just so frustrated that I didn't think to take a picture of the actual computer up close."

"You were panicking." She yawns. "It's fine. But unfortunately, this actually tells us very little."

Jihoon studies his human, notices the way she leans into Seokmin. "Maybe we call it a day." He nods at Seokmin. "For the humans."

Seokmin glances at the time. It's early for either human to be going to bed, but then he notices her eyes closed, now muttering to Hansol about what she needs for a dog.

"We still don't have a plan," Seokmin says to Jihoon as the demon leads them out of the apartment.

The humans trail behind, discussing picnic plans with the others.

"Yeah, I'm down," she yawns. "Just..." She rubs her eyes, yawning so much she feels her jaw crack. "Just set it up. The demon has to come too."

Hansol nods with a smile at Jihoon. "Of course."

Jihoon nudges her towards her room once Hansol and Seokmin leave. "Go sleep. You're tired."

With one eye open, seemingly half her body already asleep, she says, "You're being nice. And taking care of me. It's weird." Pup waits for her by her bedroom door.

"You're no use to me tired. Go. Sleep. Now."

part 11

[gnar-slabdash]

I know some otherwise intelligent people that can't seem to appreciate "Leverage". How can this be?

I mean I feel like mostly the answer is "because different intelligent people naturally have different tastes" and also "one does not control the special interest." But here's a few possible answers just for kicks: 1. If you can't get them to START watching, are you sure you're meeting them on their level? I've been telling my bff about Leverage for years and he's never been interested. Then I remembered that he was never interested in MCR either until I showed him the Danger Days music videos, because what he IS into is apocalypse stories and comics and classic anime. BAM, he was obsessed. So I told him about all the people from STAR TREK who work on Leverage and he was like "WHY did you never tell me this before???" He still hasn't actually WATCHED it because he's just become a full-fledged Ivy League professor and also has ADHD up the wazoo, but now it's actually on his radar because I started where he's at.

2. If they've started watching and aren't getting into it, make sure they're watching in the CORRECT ORDER. As with a certain other halcyon 2000s show, the episodes were originally aired in the wrong order, and that's the order that streaming services usually retain (I believe the DVDs have the intended order). You can just google to find the right order, I usually find it in imdb's trivia section. How big a difference the change makes will vary by person, but for me watching int he wrong order made the emotional storylines make a lot less sense. Episode 3, for example, was SUPPOSED to be the Wedding Job, not the Two Horse Job. So it feels like she's really jumping the gun when Eliot's ex tells him he has a new family now -- really, he's known these people for like a month?? Well, that was supposed to come later. And likewise, this was supposed to be the point where Sophie freaks out because she doesn't know where her relationship with Nate was going. But because they moved THAT to later, it feels like she's happily settled into the status quo and then blows up out of nowhere. I legitimately didn't like Sophie at all when I first watched the first season, and it's NOT HER FAULT -- it's because they fucked up her emotional storyline by putting the episodes in the wrong places.

3. A lot of people fucking hate that the main character is a white male tortured asshole genius trope. Yeah there are lots of other characters they can focus on, but Nate is kind of a lot if that's not what you're into. I will never in my life UNDERSTAND not being into it because that trope is literally what got me into the show, but I realize I'm in the minority there.

4. Gotta get a little more serious now. One thing I appreciate about the Leverage fandom is we usually don't get hung up in arguments about what's problematic about the show and what issues people "should be talking about." We realize it's a show from the late 2000s created by a couple of white guys and it's not perfect, and then we focus on all the great stuff it was able to accomplish anyway. I LIKE that. BUT. It means when we go to recommend it to people, we sometimes oversell it. "It's a queer poly band of thieves trying to take down capitalism!" Well, no, it actually isn't. Just because JR likes to talk about how the OT3 is so totally canon actually doesn't make it true. He says he did everything the network allowed him to do, but now that he's making Redemption the way it is, we can guess that's not entirely true either. I think there are actually no canon gays except that one lady cop. And speaking of cops, there are a lot of those, and they're sometimes corrupt but they're very often good guys and sending the bad guys to jail is very often written as a major win, and that is understandably a problem for a lot of people. And finally, they are not actually trying to take down capitalism. I think it was Latimer who told them that they were actually just trying to REGULATE the system, not take it down -- and HE WAS RIGHT. They're trying to fix the system by taking down the Bad CEOS and replacing them with Good CEOS, which is an easier sell on 2000s network TV than it is to a new watcher today. There are other issues that might be more problematic to some people, I'm just using these ones to make my point that some of the most commonly mentioned selling points of Leverage aren't entirely accurate. So just be realistic when recommending it to avoid some serious sticker shock.

[demispark]

7. You get the chance to assign five characters new talents! Who do you choose, and what talents would you give them? :3

Thank you for asking! I actually kinda had a feeling you would ask this one :3

I apologize in advance for the lengthy post that follows, I wanted to talk a bit about my choices.

The thing about this one is that I kinda want to give characters the talents they already have, but that I don't think we got to see enough of, if we even saw it at all. Mukuro as the Ultimate Soldier and Rantaro as the Ultimate Adventurer are two prime examples. Mukuro is the Ultimate Not-Junko/Ultimate Corpse and Rantaro is the Ultimate Vaguely Shady Guy.

I'll come up with some real talents though, don't worry! Here's the list:

1. K1-B0: Ultimate Investigator - Get this boy a real talent! He's a robot, and by his own admission, isn't particularly smart, strong, etc. He's sorta like Yasuhiro, with how he is hardly "Ultimate", but compared to others in his field, he's the best. Anyway, I'm not sure if "Investigator" is the right word for it, but ol' Kee-boy has loads of added functions that are incredibly useful for collecting data. Cameras, recording devices, etc. I want to make it clear that this is distinct from being a detective, as this is more broad and less focused on drawing conclusions from data.

2. Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Ultimate Life Coach - I'm not the happiest with it, but just hear me out. So, Taka's talent is (depending on the translation) Ultimate Moral Compass or Ultimate Hall Monitor. So somewhat lame and ill-defined, with the vague implications that this poor honors student is peaking in high school. I want Taka's steadfast dedication to his rigid morals to mean something other than being an annoying stick in the mud (I love Taka a lot but I can't lie that's just how it is). I also really don't want him to be military-related or some kind of political role.

3. Rantaro Amami: Ultimate Stylist - There may be a post lying around somewhere that may have influenced me, but I actually really like this one! Rantaro is kinda pretty, and he does Kaede's nails... I want to expand on that! Probably thanks to having so many sisters, he's great at hair, makeup, nails, the whole 9 yards to have you looking your best!

4. Shuichi Saihara: Ultimate Strategist - Okay, we need to get this poor boy a different job. He is smart, but canonically Team Danganronpa also created him to be the "weakest Ultimate Detective ever". One of the Ultimate Detectives needed to give it up, and sure wasn't gonna be Kyoko. Thus, from the ashes of his Ultimate Detective's wit, the Ultimate Strategist is born. Admittedly, this is more for games like Chess and video games like Fire Emblem, but that's just because I want to put his cleverness and intellect on full display while alleviating some of his insecurities.

5. Chiaki Nanami: Ultimate Brawler - Caught you off guard with that one, didn't I? While I don't hate the ideas I've come up with, they've been a little... safe. Boring. Uninspired, even. I wanted to shake things up with this last one, and Chiaki is the perfect subject! This idea came from two places. The first is a fanfic that I don't remember the name of, but I can find it for ya later if you'd like. There's a scene where Chiaki is in Towa City and is attacked by Monokumas. Drawing from her experiences playing Bayonetta, she pulls off her backpack and starts fucking them up. The second is a clip from DR3: Despair Arc, in which Chiaki performs some kind of Dragon Uppercut move on Teruteru, sending him flying. Being so skilled at fighting that you can pull off fictional moves successfully sounds quite Ultimate, no?

... And that's that! Sorry I got a bit long-winded with this one, I'll try not to ramble too hard if you ask another question. I hope you enjoyed my musings! :3

[hashtagyorlosalfie]

RULES: when you get this, list 5 songs you've been listening to. tag 5-10 followers to do the same. I was tagged by @lisadoop.

I guess I'm the only person in the world who doesn't listen to the same songs over and over, so I don't really have that many I could list. But nonetheless, here's 5 songs that have been on my mind for various reasons.

1. Honey by AFTERxCLASS

Not super familiar with this artist outside of this one track, which I think is their most popular, but I love it, it's super catchy. Came up again on shuffle recently and I've been thinking about it a lot because I realized the part where they say "you're bitter as shit" is sung to like the exact same tune as the Danny Elfman Batman theme, I'm pretty sure. I almost want to do an edit lining it up to prove it, but it wouldn't be worth the effort just for that. I mean I had a few other ideas that could work to turn it into a YTP or something, but probably not enough.

2. Super Mario Land With Lyrics by brentalfloss ft. Dave Bulmer

I've been playing a lot of Mario games recently, including Super Mario Land for the first time, and I'm embarrassed to say I've listened to Super Mario Land With Lyrics enough times that it's all I can think of when I hear the world 1 music from that game. I'm not even super into brentalfloss or anything, I only know a handful of their tracks, but the few I know I know really well, just because I've had them in my library for so long and they've come up on shuffle so many times. I could probably recite the lyrics to both this and Ocarina of Time With Lyrics all the way through, maybe without even listening to the songs. I don't even like them that much! I think they're neat, but not enough to know them this well! I NEED HELP!!!

3. We're Not Candy! by Long Island Regional Poison Control Center

This very well may be stuck in your head too, since these videos keep getting recommended to everyone. Some may say it's kind of a meme right now. I wouldn't go that far, not enough different takes on it to say that. I was working on an edit where they say they actually are candy, but... FUCK! Someone beat me to it! Two days ago! God damn it, I've been working on mine for like a week or two, I'm just really lazy! This one isn't even good, it's like way too long, maybe I should still do mine. That's honestly the version that's stuck in my head right now, just those beginning lyrics but instead of saying like "We could make you delirious" they say "We could be delicious". Nobody else make this edit!! I call dibs!!!

4. Streets by Doja Cat

I just really like this song, I often find myself muttering the lyrics of this one out loud. Particularly the whole rap verse with the Final Fantasy line, love that. The way the lyrics flow into each other there makes it a big ear worm for me, even without hearing the music. Just really fun to recite.

5. Icy Tower Theme (NES/2A07) by Zlew

Just got done streaming some Icy Tower a little earlier, and damn I could groove to that kazoo menu music for hours. But I especially like this cover I found on Soundcloud. I think the cover art is like the second image search result for Icy Tower which is how I found it like a year ago and also how I rediscovered it earlier today. Just a really stellar chiptune take on Man of Constant Sorrow imo.

Okay that's it, I guess I'll tag @jerryterry, @norwayspruce, @object-at-noon, @talkingheadsfan, and @peenerpeenerihaveawiener. Sorry for the tag, the chainmail told me to and I don't wanna get cursed :/

[eggydev]

talking about abuse and neglect

dont worry about reading this if you're not in a good headspace.

I'm in my 30s. I never intended to live past 30, and I'm 32 currently. It's hard to describe- the feelings I feel about it. For the longest time, I struggled with what exactly caused my ongoing depression and anxiety- not to mention me having to figure out myself having autism/audhd in my adult years around my 20s.

I've talked to my brother about this, but for me, my mother is someone who was split into 3 different people.

1: The mother I had and needed- lasted all of 4 years in my life. I remember her vividly; someone who would read bedtime stories to me and my brother, someone who would sing us to sleep and do absolutely everything she could to love and raise us. Someone I see in old family photos and videos and get teary-eyed just remembering.

2: The "person" who she turned into after she met That Man and his kids. My mom had me at age 23. She never thought she was capable of becoming pregnant, because the women in my family always struggled to conceive. When she found out she was pregnant, she was ecstatic, but she also didn't want to give up her partying lifestyle, and wanted to keep going out. She was obsessed with a type of "fitting in" lifestyle like that of a teenager. She's still like that.

She let That Man into our lives, and it fucked us over for the rest of our lives up until now. That Man and his kids did unspeakable things to me and my brother, and not only was my mom aware of it; she actively made it a point to insult/laugh at me and my brother. That Man and his kids, especially his daughter, who was my age, were especially critical about me and my brothers' developing bodies.

There's lots more I could go into, but basically- my mom loved my now ex step-sister. That Girl was everything she wanted her children to be: carbon copies of her, and wanting to party, go drinking and have sex (underage), and felt the need to laugh at me and my brother for being "lame" and "have no social life", while we were between the ages of 7-16 and beyond. She was not a mother. She was a bully, and an abuser. She hated that me and my brother were becoming introverted people- especially me.

After my mom got divorced from That Man after I turned 18- things were already fucked. She had no one to back her up with insulting me and my brother anymore- her high school type mentality was shattered before her eyes and she was scrounging for some sort of way to placate her lack of support. She never apologized to either me and my brother.

3: The Woman. That's all I really see about her. That's all I see her as, now. She's technically my "mother", but she's no different from a distant cousin. She's a shell of whoever she was in the past, and she acts very different now. She tries to be a part of mine and my brother's lives. She's failing at it. When we confront her on the things she used to say and do to us, she breaks down and cries. Why does *she* get to cry? SHE'S the one who did it to us, after all. SHE'S the one who caused her kids to be unable to be and do things they've always wanted to do, because SHE thought it was so pathetic and lame- she had to shut it down no matter what- we couldn't be happy with ourselves because SHE made it a point to make us feel like shit.

She's no one to me. She's my "mother" on paper, but I'll never forgive her. My brother already tore into her- really, really badly. But it's something she NEEDED to hear. Especially from him. My "mother" is afraid of him. Not in a safety kind of way- but in a mental sort of way- because no matter what she has to say as a critique- no matter how small- my brother knows what to say to her and how to say it to make her shut the fuck up like he always wanted to say to her.

She's not a "mother" to me. She talks to me like a neutral person. She only sometimes shows affection like a mother would, I guess. I bite my tongue when she does, because I fight with the struggle of telling her what she did to me those years ago- I wish I could tell her how fucked up she's made me. I just know, though, that she'll just sit there and cry. I won't ever have any kind of "satisfaction" or "closure" or anything from her. And I know, that if I DID confront her about it- it wouldn't do anything. I can't ever forgive her. Never. Not for how she treated us, not for how she failed us as her children and many, many other reasons.

I don't have a "mother", really. I have a "relative"- she's not the same person who I remember back before I started elementary school. She's a shell of a person, and I feel nothing for her. I'll never get those years back that she stole from me. I'll never have the closure I wish I had. Because either "doesn't remember", or she'll just cry about how she "wishes she could take it back". Yet, when we confront her about it, she doubles down and says: "What was I supposed to do? I wanted to keep partying/drinking!" And when my brother tells her: "YOU HAVE KIDS NOW. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT SHIT ANYMORE!! That's what it MEANS to be A PARENT."

And she goes quiet. Because she's a moron.

One day, I want to tell her everything I feel, just like my brother was able to. I haven't found the words for it. I'll figure it out, eventually. I'm just busy with myself and my life- trying to heal from the years and years of fucked up shit her and That Man played a part in. I'm in a happy, healthy marriage. I love my husband. I'm still mentally unwell, but I like to know that That Woman who calls herself my mother, can never take that happiness away from me.

This ended up being super long and pretty revealing, so I dont know how long I'll keep it up. But then again, it's *my* diary, right? I'm at a plateau, mentally right now. I could be better, but I'm doing "ok". When it comes to my mother, however, is another story. I'll figure it out on my own, one day. But for now...that's who she is to me- just some family member. She's not the abuser anymore, but she's also not a "mother", either.

She'll never be able to "make it up" to me or my brother. I hope she knows that. I think somewhere, in her ignorant mind, she does know that. She's just afraid to admit or confront it. Mm.

If you read all of this: Thank you. These are things I struggle with every single day of my life. There's so much more I can say and share, but I'm already really drained from sharing this much- or from writing it out.

Be safe.

[bewarebugbear]

ACTUALLY IT WAS WILDER THAN THAT

carmen sandiego the franchise is actually... drum roll please...

A VIDEO GAME SERIES

let me take you back to 1985 in a little company called broderbund software where they've published an even littler game called where in the world is carmen sandiego? a mystery detective game where the player is hunting the elusive super thief carmen sandiego, showing up to the scenes of elaborately cartoonish heists to apprehend her goons. broderbund had decided to make one of its things edutainment and a recent study showed that the average american was absolutely dogshit at geography

so whatd they do? they made a charismatic globe trotting ex-government spy lady thief who would banter with the kiddies and make them learn fun facts about the world around them!

and it blew the FUCK UPPPPPP 9 GAMES IN 6 YEARS ANOTHER RELEASING THE SAME YEAR THE GAME SHOW STARTED AIRING

it was crazy, it was a cultural zeitgeist, where in the FUCKING world was carmen sandiego???

carmen was always surrounded by her funny little goons that appealed to kids like wonder rat and vic the slick (neal the eel), contessa (countess cleo), sarah bellum (doctor bellum), and eartha brute (coach brunt). a LOT of the 2019 characters draw inspiration from previous characters in the franchise, and a lot of them are very very different in the netflix version.

carmen especially is WILDLY different, all she was up until that point was a voice on the phone, a red coat, an ex-spy traitor to acme, and always 4 steps ahead of the players

THEN A SECOND TELEVISION PROGRAM HIT THE FRANCHISE

1994s cartoon Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego, starring rita moreno of acting STARDOM is still able to be watched in its complete entirety on youtube for free and its worth the damn watch. it gave us one of the most fleshed out interpretations of carmen, the character, up to that point in time.

so who was carmen sandiego in woeics? well...

current head of vile, an international criminal organization that pulls heists from the top of the taj mahal to the eyes from van goghs portrait, her true intentions are unknown and everything to her is simply a game. at the time of the series she is chased around by two gumshoes you'll find very familiar, zack and ivy, who are aided by the help of 'the player' (a figure meant to represent the different kids playing the games)

before becoming a felon she was acme agencys golden girl and the mentee of suhara, a now retired agent. even before that, she was just a girl in an orphanage that managed to get acme's attention. i wont spoiler the series finale for you but it is heart wrenching. the cartoon gives people something theyve been wanting a long time: more carmen. this cartoon had reruns up until 2018

now, moving up, 1996 sees the publication of where in time is carmen sandiego as a video game and a separate game show to air on the interwaves. games are still getting published, so on so forth.

1997 gets us word detective and the introduction of an ex-partner of carmen's from acme. you might know him. you might hate him. you might love him. chase devinaux. and he HAD A FUCKING FALCONNNNNNNNNN (netflix give him back his falcon) other than that it was also a game that deviated from the usual formula of 'series of heists' where the player infiltrates vile hideouts

cut to 2001 we see the release of where in the world is carmen sandiego treasures of knowledge. if youre a julia argent fan you want to check this game out. find a way to play it yourself, or watch a playthrough on youtube there are many to find. if youre a diehard carulia fan this game is basically the bible for you. i wont spoiler it but julia fan or not, its absolutely a fun ride.

finally, after the 2010s hit carmen had faded safely into obscurity, having had a long almost 30 year run as a franchise and seeing its last game published in 2015 on iphone to middling reception.

and then we got the 2019 and now were here!

man ik there was a (live-action) carmen sandiego show in the 90s and ik there were video games too but has this always been the plot? you mean to tell me that an edutainment series spawned out of the plot “hey what if our protagonist was a girl who’d been found by this fucking evil villain organization when she was a baby and she was raised by them but when she got older she realized how fucked it was and decided to become their number one arch nemesis with the help of some teenage hacker boy and she somehow becomes wanted by both a hero group and the villain group at the same time.” like you mean to tell me that they thought of that in the 90s and then somehow said “AND we’re gonna have her travel the world so it’s still educational because we can teach the kids geography and about different cultures.” the 90s seem wild

[darkhats]

my response to that one cookie run drama video from 2019

if u were in the fandom at around 2019 you'll remember this video. really a grand hallmark of its time. this is probably the most unecessary thing ill ever do but i see alot of recent comments from a month ago agreeing with this and i think thats extremely sad. im mostly doing this as a fun nostalgia trip and also i really want to justify me wasting 14 minutes watching this

first of all i want to say this video is fucking awful. just dreadful. like girl what the fuck are you even saying. i'd only recommend watching in full if you want to hear about the fandom in 2019 with a condesending voice talking down to you the whole time and even then you could probably do better just scrolling through the discourse tag

i suggest you pull up the video yourself as i'll be responding by timestamps. if i sound angry at some points its because i am

you can skip to 1:40 the rest is just intro stuff

1:47 | im really curious why you put this screenshot while saying "entitled fans" bc u never elaborated and i would really LOVE for you to explain whatever this one meant

1:50 | for the "huge amounts of hypocrisy" bit i have no idea what this is? this would be hypocrisy if the twitter acc in the previous screenshot and this tumblr blog r the same person but theyre not. we don't all think like a hivemind? this post is stupid in general stop infantilising asian ppl like they have no idea what a black person even is

2:02 | "gatekeeping what kind of ships you're allowed to like" with this screenshot u a proshitter or sumn🤨

the rest of the things they listed will be talked about later

2:51 | oh wow the "fixing art" thing. i dont think this is a thing anymore but it definitely was a big thing back in 2019! the thing is im quite neutral on it because a lot of artists dont like their work being edited but on the other hand if you dont like when people put the correct skintones on your art then maybe you should colour it right the first time

i will say though if you see cool art of like dark choco or espresso and its whitewashed and u wanna edit it so its not and u keep it to yourself then idc thats fine to me. the grey area is when it comes to characters like moonlight or alchemist, who's skintone is quite difficult to pull off in some artstyles. a lot of the examples in the video use people like cherry blossom or cotton candy who don't quite fit in the same category but are usually targets of this anyway

a very simple fix is to just use a different colour but to not make them significantly lighter from how they look in canon, which alot of the examples you showed don't do. they all look pale as shit compared to what they actually look like ingame and thats why people complained about them

also your marina video is fucking awful btw

3:53 |

4:56 | "so many people in the fandom hate the developers" im one of them hiii. i should probably use this time to explain why (please note that this was made in 2019 so a few of the points im bringing up here will probably be a bit too recent)

devsisters really love showcasing whitewashed art of their characters (they used to do it on their forums rarely but thats now gone) and recently they've been quite excited to dabble in the whitewashing themselves (keep in mind the others except from twizzly gummy don't really count as whitewashing but they're all significantly lighter than their regular appearance). its like a hobby or sumn. everytime they host a fanart contest i brace for god damn impact. and this has been a thing since FOREVER

speaking of race and ethnicity, lilacs costume (and redesign in general) is just... bad but i dont think they were even introduced at the time of this video. milk and yam WERE though and its extremely baffling to me how this went through an entire team/company and got greenlit. its insane how shit they are (if it was just yam on his own i wouldn't hate him as much, i still wouldn't like him tbh, but they decided to pair him up with a white saviour). would i call them racist though? ...idk? they've been moving funny recently cant lie

another thing is the valentines day video which pisses me off to even think about. in that vid theres alot of.. ships that definitely arent legal. and whitewashing ^_^ they still haven't addressed it btw if ur curious. but it happened this year and honestly i wouldnt blame them for not thinking devsisters would do something like that bc i sure didnt!

theres also the thing with nfts but no one couldve foresaw that one coming

i assume when you mention people saying devsis are transphobic that you're talking about characters like dark choco or cinnamon who weren't referred by any pronouns until they were magically given he/him pronouns later on. nonbinary people can use any pronouns they so damn please but i get why people would get annoyed about them both suddenly being referred as he/him. wouldn't call it transphobic though. other than idk, how tf am i meant to defend something when u dont even telling me what ur talking abt

and 5:29 is quite the bold claim if you have to say "do i have evidence for this asian hate? no.." when bringing it up again btw

now we're onto the "stories from a few people" section. the few people are actually just two, the first one just runs their mouth for way too long. dw they both suck. ignore how the creep art person is there its been addressed already in the description (which is funny because the creator remembers this video still? and they presumingly agree with it still..?)

7:00 | i would heavily recommend putting the video on like 1.75 speed and just reading the reply yourself because this person goes on for WAY too long. excuse me if the timestamps are wrong because of this but at this point i really just do not care

the first thing i want to address is the cuphead and cookie run fandom comparison, because its just as ridiculous as it sounds "i have no idea why its so focused on being sensitive about cookies sexualities, genders, and races, when other fandoms dont even take subjects like that as seriously. im pretty sure the cuphead fandom takes its bosses less seriously than the cr fandom does its cookies..." literally what the fuck are you on about? excuse me as im not a cuphead fandom connoisseur here but how are either fandoms connected?? they both got a vastly different audience, gameplay, artstyle and characters (+ character design). the only thing similar is that theyre both popular i GUESS. also maybe the cookie run fandom is so "sensitive" about cookies races bc they keep getting whitewashed every 5 seconds🤔? just a game theory tho🤔

7:25 | pisses me off ever so fucking much. the "ive never seen a fandom get so disrespectful over issues that i honestly dont think even exist" while talking about MILK COOKIE COOKIE RUN are u crazy are u dense im glad you can frollick along in ur flowerfields not having to ever deal with racism but I cannot. and if ur not talking abt him then you'd be talking about the "sensitive about sexualities/genders/races" thing and yeah man u right none of that is real. the LGBT disappeared suddenly in 1987. all humans were destroyed as they had race. we're all grey goo people

im not even sure what the complaint even is.. oh nooo someone did a milk redesigning the controversial parts of his design... how ever will we recover..?

8:15 | yeah as everyone knows i can make a character as pale as i want in fanart as long as i say these are my humanizations actually. garbage argument, most people dont draw the characters as actual cookies and most of the fanart does just fine with eyedropping the characters original skintone (oh im sorry, dough!!) so whats the excuse?

dont worry this person is done now we're almost at the end

11:18 | for the other reply, its the fiction doesnt equal reality shit do you really need me to go over this one? do you really. if they just cookies and its just fiction then why y'all feelings hurt so bad. also lumping in whitewashing with age and gender while ur talking about peoples headcanons is a bit weird btw

anyway the last thing i want to go over is the "cookie run fandom is soo obsessed with debating on whitewashing, ages, gender and sexualities!" thing thats so prevelent with these arguments. 2019 had this fun period where with every new cookie that came out there was some sort of controversy with them (millennial tree and raspberry mousse being he/him, roll cake and sorbet shark being a child or not, ect.)

whitewashing is obvious why so i'll move on. some characters can be seen as lesbian coded (white choco and rose for having majority girl fans, sea fairy in general) and there are a few characters that explicitly aren't referred to by any pronouns (dark choco before the guild adventures, peppermint, ect.) which u dont see everyday in games. so yeah.. people care about these things because they like representation. who would've thought?

now im gonna be fucking real. the arguments over cookies ages were always annoying - the reason why the fandom has arguments about ages so much is because devsis REFUSES to tell us canon ages. think about it, majority of the "canonially confirmed" children in the game are from a child event that happened in LINE. thats a completely different company running the game. because of how character-heavy the game is, ships are a very big part of the fandom. i sincerely doubt theres anyone in the fandom who doesnt like any ship and at the time rarepairs were rly common. so when you've got a fandom who really likes to ship and developers that dont ever mention ages then you get a fucking mess. i dont know what sorbet shark or roll cakes age is and its pointless to even debate it because id rather just have the devs confirm it themselves (not like they ever will). and even for the one singular time they did specify that one of the characters was a child, they still showcased fanart of said kid being shipped with an adult anyway

but that concludes the video and thus this response! i have wasted so much time on this i honestly could've showed you them ranting about how "cookies dont have skin colours" in the video or the part in the marina video where they complain about how people "think whitewashing is bad but make non-black characters black" and moved on but what else would i do on a sunday night?

[eunique]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 5 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)❤️❤️❤️

To be honest I don't have the best of self esteem. Self esteem is something I really lack and it has been lacking since forever ago ; w;)b

But since this is non-negotiable, I'll be nice to myself so here we go

1) My Art

I'm still my own worst critic but I'm proud of myself in how far I've come. Recently went through all my old art and it really put into perspective in where I am now compared to 2012 me. But every now and then I look at some of the stuff I did in like 2020 and am still proud of some of the stuff I did. I definitely think I can still improve and learn more but I think child me would've been fucking hyped to see my art now.

2) My boba tastes

Sounds really weird but I've had a few friends ask me for reccomendations when we go to Gongcha and they've all enjoyed my recs. Even my Chinese asf mum approves of it so yeah. I may have shit taste in maybe everything else but I still got superior taste in boba tea 😤

3) Being Bilingual

My Chinese still sucks ass but I'm glad I can speak enough Chinese to hold a conversation and help people. Plus, it's also a really good way to talk shit about someone who is in the exact same room as you. Still anxious asf to use it in public tho but that's a different story.

4) My ability to learn (most) things quickly

I generally can learn most things relatively quickly whether I'm learning it myself or I'm being taught how to do whatever I'm learning. I've been a pretty fast learner in a lot of things (aside from maths, chemistry and DAWs to name a few). Taught myself a few things like how to cast off a knitting via YouTube. Taught myself to draw and still teaching myself new things to name a few. Still predominantly self taught in art to this day :)

5) My brain

Gonna get this out the way. I'm not the traditional "booksmart". Never liked academics. Sucked at academics and certainly didn't help that my primary school essentially set me up for failure. Not even smart in the slightest tbh. I'm very much dumbass to the max and I'm absolutely fine with that. I literally joke about being so head empty.

But I do like my brain for the amount of bullshit it consumes and my brain can literally visualise anything as well as visualise a sound. If you told me to imagine an apple and then told me to imagine someone taking a bite out of that apple, I can visualise the object and visualise the sound of someone taking a bite of that apple. I think it sorta stems from my artsy background.

But it is also a double edged sword bc I can then visualise and hear the most cursed videos in my head if it's cursed enough to stick to my brain. That or if someone told me to imagine polystyrene rubbing against each other and squeaking, I can mentally see the exact action and hear that exact sound ringing in my ear and it makes me want to shrivel up like a prune :')

This took me all day to think about because again, idk who self esteem is. But this really made me think about what I like about myself. I think I care too much about what others have thought of me in the past that it has really warped my self perception. Even the 75 question genshin impact kin quiz which I took twice gave me scarily accurate results both times. That along with almost every uquiz I've taken during 2021.

I still struggle to not let how people see me get in the way but it's still really hard to not overthink that every time. But it does help that I have amazing friends online and irl that I can be myself 100% unapologetically and this hellsite where I'm not forced to keep up a certain facade :)

[doctapuella]

HI!! i heard an anthrax song today on my headbangers ball channel and it was really good so now i need recs!!

(also i think this is kirk from when he was in exodus?? idk but i thought id send this your way💜)

and then i found this one too

love you!!💜

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa baby kirk!!!!!!!! aaa they're all babies i love these pics!!

OKAY. so! anthrax! without knowing which song it was you liked i'm just gonna babble a little bit about the music and if you want any more or to know anything else lemme know!!!! (i ended up typing so much, surprise surprise, so i'm adding a cut bc i don't know how to shut the fuck up)

there's 4 full albums with the "classic" lineup and what you heard was probably from that era: spreading the disease; among the living; state of euphoria; persistence of time. a lot of the songs are inspired by horror fiction (esp stephen king) and comics, because they're big ol' nerds.

on among the living (starting here because it's my fave and was also like their big breakthrough album) i really like the title track, "I am the law", "efilnikufesin (nfl)", and "a skeleton in the closet."

from spreading the disease go for "a.i.r.", "armed and dangerous", and "medusa". on state of euphoria they have more songs that are shifting to social commentary, which they do pretty well. such a good album but i especially like "make me laugh" (one of my favorite anthrax songs), "misery loves company", and their cover of "antisocial". i haven't listened to persistence of time as much as the others, but "belly of the beast" is fucking great and was one of the first songs that sucked me in. (also the music video is one of those thats like, just clips of them goofing around, which always gets me.)

i also gotta put in a word for the following era, when the singer joey belladonna left and they got john bush in. the album sound of white noise is really good. still anthrax, but much more of that 90s direction that a lot of bands went during that time. john has such a different voice and it shouldn't work but it does. "room for one more" is my fave from that era, but also "only" and "hy pro glo" are great too.

ALSO in general they are like, the best band i've ever heard at doing covers. i've listened to at least a dozen covers they've done (they did a b-sides album w a bunch and a covers ep) and the balance between being anthrax and tying to the original is just fucking phenomenal. best thin lizzy covers i've ever heard.

THIS IS SO MUCH IM SORRY im so excited and amped! anyway if you have specific ones you like and want something similar then maybe i can lead you in the right direction. also if you wanna know anything more about the actual band. OKAY BYEEEEEE LOV EYOU TOO