#this is fine to rb by the way

[interstellarsystem]

Experiences With Being Out as a System

So, our parents know we're a system. It's all good, they understand that when we suddenly speak like someone from London that it's just another guy taking the body for a spin real quick and that they don't need to question it too much.

The thing is... They don't know our names, or anything about us as individuals. We don't have enough open communication with them to actually discuss the inner-workings of the hundreds of little guys in our brain and who they are or what they like, but even if we did, it's not actually important to them. It almost seems like it's swept under the rug.

Our mother said that she doesn't get why she should have to know anyone else when we're all "us". We're all just a collective to her still, a bunch of bits that make up her child, even though she knows we're separate. Her child, the original, isn't here anymore. But the thing is.. some of us want to get to know her and the family individually. Even beyond just being seen as who we actually are, we want to be a part of it aside from being treated as someone who is gone. But it's not a thing they understand despite our explanations of what it means to us, even despite the fact they know the original is dormant and has been for years.

The most anyone in our family knows about us is our mother, and she only knows anyone with a voice similar to Sark as "the american one". She doesn't know that there's even multiple who sound similar to him.

Technically, we're out as a system. Effectively, though... We're still closeted. Though not really because we're staying in it, moreso that we left but it follows us around like a shield within our own household, but it's not shielding us. It's shielding them from us.

Our experience with talking to medical professionals has been hard because of this--sharing bits about ourselves has been scary. It's scarier to show them pictures of our nonhuman headmates and say "that one is me", but it's never actually been bad when we've mustered up the strength to do it. One of them looked at Mal and saw his horns and said he looks like a faun from Greek mythology. Even though he's not, a positive response like that was empowering. That same one said Filigree's hair was cool. Little acknowledgements about who you are when you've tried to be seen before is great.

With our IRL friends, we expected the situation to be similar to our parents. Swept under the rug like a taboo and given weird, uncomfortable looks when spoken about. But it's been completely different.

We get asked who is fronting, we get acknowledged as separate people, hell, we even felt comfortable telling them about our actual fictive identities and letting the ones who wanted to follow this blog (hey guys if you're reading this <3) get access to it. They acknowledge our nonhumanity and nonhuman parts, share things about our sources with us because it reminded them of us, etc. Sometimes, now, because we've been open about it, we get people actually ask "is x fronting" and we say yes and they say "I knew it".

That specific feeling of being recognised even when your outward appearance doesn't change is absolutely amazing. Little manerisms, little ways our voice sounds even when masking accents out in public, even the words we choose to use are tells toward who is actually controlling the body and they pick up on it--even things we might not recognise we even do. Sure, there's hundreds of people in here and people won't know every single one off by heart, but the ones who are out here often are being recognised and that, to me, is amazing and validating to all of us.

I guess the point here is me sharing our experiences, but also.... You will be able to find people who see you for you. You as a system, you as a nonhuman, you as a disabled person, you as a queer person--you'll be able to find your people. And you know, I hope you do soon--because the feeling of being known is great.

[bardicbeetle]

that thing i do once a year (the pride post to remind my blood family that I'm not a goddamn woman)

Welcome back to June.

Time to ring the bells again.

Hi, I’m Larkspur, or Stevie, names are difficult when you’re still untangling yourself from over a decade of people-pleasing and making yourself smaller for the comfort of others. My pronouns are they/them, or zie/hirs. I’m queer, I’m trans, I’m one the ace spectrum. I’ve known I was queer without having the words since I was eleven years old. I had walked myself out of and back into the closet a half dozen times before I was twenty. I look back at the person I forced myself to be and my heart breaks for everything I crushed before it could fly, for everything suffocated before lungs were even fully formed.

I am tired on a level that goes down to the marrow of my bones.

If you have a problem with queer people as a whole, you have a problem with me. I do not care if you think it’s only OTHER queer people who are a problem, SPECIFIC KINDS of queer people, I do not care, it doesn’t matter, you have a problem with them, you have a problem with me. I am not better, I am not special, I am not different.

The vitriol and hatred directed towards my community continues to grow with each passing day, it is EASY to feel as though there is nowhere to turn, nowhere to go, as the places in this country and beyond that this world that are by any measure SAFE for people like me dwindle. This little state is hypothetically safe—but that doesn’t stop our pride centers from getting their windows smashed in, it doesn’t stop queer businesses from being treated like shit, or kids from being disowned, or sent to conversion therapy, it doesn’t stop the flood of misinformation and fearmongering and “Keep that shit out of our schools”. Last year the US introduced over 500 bills trying to legislate Queer people out of existence, over 80 of them passed into law, another 34 have been passed this year.

There will always be people who don’t listen, who turn a blind eye. There are always those who would rather keep the boxes they’ve built than try to meet me where I am. People with quotation marks around new names and pronouns, people with a set to their shoulders and a note in their voice that says I am a Burden on Them by Simply Existing As I Am. My identity nothing more than an irritation. A burr stuck in their skin to be pulled out and discarded.

The world may try over and over again to define us by tragedy and pain, but it is a disservice to those lost to give into despair. I see hope in the faces of those around me, even tired and weighed down.

How many times can you say the same thing before it all turns to ash on your tongue?

I feel as though I run out of words. Out of calls for empathy, for respect, for basic human decency.

Fifteen words in my back pocket, a bio-hazard from ten years ago, something to be burned with the rest of the pain. I have never been a good speaker. My thoughts are best given when I can stew over them for hours and days before presentation. But I am full up on swallowing responses. I’m not a woman. I’m not a girl. Use my name.

I am not going anywhere but forward. Whether you walk there beside me is up to you.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i don’t think there’s a better example of leftist antisemitism than the time i was explaining antisemitism i had personally experienced and was told “i’m sorry that upset you but also it makes sense to say that. you should read theory”

[emberglowfox]

closing time

[teddybeartoji]

I'M HEREEEE!!!!! thank you @miyameowru and @mrsokkotsu and @storiesoflilies and @cloudwisp for tagging me i love you all sooosoo much<333333 THIS WAS SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OIKAWA MY DARLING BOYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEEING THAT MADE ME SO SO HAPPY ACTUALLY WAHH I MISS HIM SM<3333333 AND THEN TENGEN AND CHUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHH I LOVE THEMM!!!!!!

AND THEN OFC MY OWN PERSONAL TEDDY BEARR and kuna and bakugo😭😭😭 i can't believe that he and sukuna are the same lmao that's so funny. aaaaaaand then we have suguru and fyodor💀💀💀💀no comment there. i think fyodor would despise me actually and suguru is a lil yandere so idk what that says abt our perfect little relationship.

OK AND FINALLY SATORU AND DAZAIII WHAT DO YOU MEANN ONLY 85% THEY ARE MY LITTLE MEOW MEOWSS THEY SHOULD BE HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOWWW RRRRAAHHHHHH

no pressure tags: @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @gothsuguru @staryukis @mossmotif @lxnarphase @kisstoru @ohimsummer @tirasamu @osarina @mizzfizz @sleepymarimo @hayakawalove @nappingmoon @spookuna @forest-hashira @madaqueue <33333

[ispyspookymansion]

[ID: An illustration of a rocker skeleton with long hair and glowing red eyes playing a bone guitar, lit in red with blue highlights. White all caps text on the top and bottom of the image reads, “Several close friends have told me that they think I may be autistic but I myself still feel unsure”. End ID]

[guard-en]

[cw: blood violence and the like]

it's 4AM post... whatever this is

[jils-things]

COMMISSION BY @beeholyshit WKWKWKWKWKKWKKDKKD BEST DECISION I EVER MADE 😭😭😭😭💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 WKWKKSKKKKK WHEN I TELL UUU I WON'T SHUT UP ABT NORTO.NS TROUBADOUR SKIN THIS IS THE MANIFESTATION OF IT😭😭💚💚💚💚💚 HES SO GORGEOUS IN GREEN EHEHEHEHHDRDHDHFGHFHD WAAAAAGHGGGHFGH

[wingsofhcpe]

random headcanons my brain has served me about Tissaia:

she loves sweet things, including but not limited to any kind of chocolate (except bitter/black chocolate, which she actively dislikes).

she has OCD (supported by facts in the books)

takes great care of her hair.

her signature scent (whether it's her Chaos or just perfume is up to interpretation) is pine and bergamot. A really wintery scent.

she can hold her liquor, but once it gets to her head, she's so messy and hilarious.

she can do polymorphy, although unlike Philippa she does not prefer it. Her chosen form is an arctic fox.

she's asexual demiromantic. Has no gender preference, and she's sex-repulsed unless it's with someone she trusts very very much and is very close to, otherwise she hates the mere idea.

this is more of a general Aretuza headcanon, but all mages are required to master a physical weapon of their choice, to be able to defend themselves even if they can't use magic for whatever reason. Tissaia's chosen weapons is a collection of sleek throwing daggers that she conceals in her sleeves and straps around her thighs.

[narwhalsarefalling]

i got a seizure from watching Avatar 2 and now I can’t drive for six months

[seaweedstarshine]

Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.

There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:

“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”

And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).

I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)

To quote RTD:

“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”

This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)

—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?

How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?

And this just keeps happening.

And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.

The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.

[isamovingon]

MYUNG JAEHYUN 'Dangerous' @ Performance37

[spitblaze]

No no, I don't think sex is bad because it's evil and dangerous, I'm not a puritan. I think sex is bad because its something men like to do, because they're evil and dangerous. Completely different.

[wooahaes]

also if anyone wants to play a guessing game. guess which trope is assigned to which svt member for new project and i will tell u a lil of what i am thinking if u get it!!

milk chocolate: boyfriend

white chocolate: neighbor/the boy next door

dark chocolate: exes to lovers.

peanut butter cup: housemate to lovers

cherry cordial: husband

salted caramel: second chance

vanilla cream: first love

raspberry cream: classmate

cookies & cream: best friends to lovers/mutual pining

almond clusters: brother’s best friend

toffee: coworkers to lovers

marshmallow: childhood friend

peppermint: fake date

[tchaikovskaya]

🥴