#this is fairly old from last year but i basically finished it and then left it to rot so here's a new life for it

[swatchdaily]

#9

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #5 – The Tusks of Extinction by Ray Nayler

I read Nayler’s The Mountain in the Sea last year and, despite thinking it was ultimately kind of a noble failure, liked it more than enough to give his new novella a try. It didn’t hurt that the premise as described in the marketing copy sounded incredible. I can’t quite say it was worth it, but that’s really only because this novella barely cost less than the 500-page doorstopper I picked up at the same time and I need to consider economies here – it absolutely lived up to the promise of its premise.

The book is set a century and change into the future, when a de-extinction initiative has gotten funding from the Russian government to resurrect the Siberian mammoth – or, at least, splice together a chimera that’s close-enough and birth it from african elephant surrogate mothers – to begin the process of restoring the prehistoric taiga as a carbon sink. The problem: there’s no one on earth left who knows how wild mammoth are supposed to, like, live- the only surviving elephants have been living in captivity for generations. Plop the ressurectees in the wilderness and they’ll just be very confused and anxious until they starve. The solution: the technology to capture a perfect image of a human mind is quite old, and due to winning some prestigious international award our protagonist – an obsessive partisan of elephant conservation – was basically forced to have her mind copied and put in storage a few months before she was killed by poachers.

So the solution of who will raise and socialize these newly created mammoths is ��the 100-year-old ghost of an elephant expert, after having her consciousness reincarnated in a mammoth’s body to lead the first herd as the most mature matriarch’. It works better than you’d expect, really, but as it turns out she has some rather strong opinions about poachers, and isn’t necessarily very understanding when the solution found to keep the project funded involves letting some oligarch spend a small country’s GDP on the chance to shoot a bull and take some trophies.

So this is a novella, and a fairly short one – it’s densely packed with ideas but the length and the constraints of narrative mean that they’re more evoked or presented than carefully considered. This mostly jumps out at me with how the book approaches wildlife conservation – a theme that was also one of the overriding concerns of Mountain where it was considered at much greater length. I actually think the shorter length might have done Nayler a service here, if only because it let him focus things on one specific episode and finish things with a more equivocal and ambiguous ending than the saccharine deux ex machina he felt compelled to resort to in Mountain.

The protection of wildlife is pretty clearly something he’s deeply invested in – even if he didn’t outright say so in the acknowledgements, it just about sings out from the pages of both books. Specifically, he’s pretty despairing about it – both books to a great extent turn around how you convince the world at large to allow these animals to live undisturbed when all the economic incentives point the other way, a question he seems quite acutely aware he lacks a good answer to.

Like everyone else whose parents had Jurassic Park on VHS growing up, I’ve always found the science of de-extinction intensely fascinating – especially as it becomes more and more plausible every day. This book wouldn’t have drawn my eye to nearly the degree it did if I don’t remember the exact feature article I’d bet real money inspired it about a group of scientists trying to do, well, exactly the same thing as the de-extinctionists do in the book (digital resurrection aside). The book actually examines the project with an eye to practicalities and logistics – and moreover, portrays it as at base a fundamentally heroic, noble undertaking as opposed to yet another morality tale about scientific hubris. So even disregarding everything else it had pretty much already won me over just with that.

The book’s portrayal of the future and technology more generally is broader and less carefully considered, but it still rang truer than the vast majority of sci fi does – which is, I suppose, another way of saying that it’s a weathered and weather-beaten world with new and better toys, but one still very fundamentally recognizable as our own, without any great revolutions or apocalyptic ruptures in the interim. Mosquito's got CRISPR’d into nonexistence and elephants were poached into extinction outside of captivity, children play with cybernetically controlled drones and the president of the Russian Federation may or may not be a digital ghost incarnated into a series of purpose-grown clones, but for all that it’s still the same shitty old earth. It’s rather charming, really.

[cerseimikaelson]

Episode Three: Period Cravings [AO3]

It took Ares longer than he was comfortable confessing to notice the thief.

In his defense, there were multiple explanations for this blunder other than a sheer lack of observation skills.

Number One: they lived in a world of magic. When your doorknockers could talk and your books moved on their own whenever you forgot to dust them and your ties changed color to match your girlfriend’s dress, (though Ares wasn’t complaining about the last one) it wasn’t uncommon for objects to switch places for no better reason than boredom.

It was only when Ares decided to broach the subject with Aphrodite that the following dialogue ensued:

“Has the fridge been acting up lately?” he asked out of the blue.

They were laying on the U-shaped sofa Aphrodite had insisted was imperative to buy in lime green to bring out the curtains. Ares hadn’t been entirely sure how the whole concept was supposed to work, considering she liked changing their drapes every other month, and brought out holiday-themed ones for the solstices, but the sofa was soft and comfortable to cuddle on, so he just let her do her thing.

He was a good boyfriend like that.

“Um… no?” Aphrodite looked somewhat bewildered at the topic, so it rather came out as a question. “Why are you asking?”

“Couldn’t find the jam earlier. Demeter just dropped by and left us this jar of strawberry jam she made from her own plants, there’s no way it’s gone so quickly.”

Aphrodite quirked a brow.

“And you think the fridge just… what? Swallowed it up?”

“Crazier things have happened.”

She couldn’t really dispute that one after having witnessed last year’s Halloween spectacle with her own two eyes.

The less said about that, the better.

Uno was still under an Olympus-wide ban.

“Well, I am in my avocado spread era, so I definitely didn’t try any jam. Have you asked the kids?”

Which brought us to Explanation Number Two.

When one lives with two rambunctious toddlers, one learns fairly quickly nothing- not carpets, not bookcases, not even paintings literally nailed to the freaking wall, which Ares still had questions about- stayed in one place for long. 

Combine that energy with the mayhem that came with raising two immortal toddlers with absolutely no handle on their budding magical powers originating from a love goddess and a war god and you got…

Well, their kids basically.

“What have we said about sneaking into the kitchen for snacks after bedtime?”

Two pairs of adorable wide eyes blinked up at him in exasperated innocence.

Damn, he and Aphrodite had to stop creating such cute miscreants.

“Not to.” Harmonia even shook her head for emphasis, honey curls bouncing.

“Yes, that’s right. If you want a snack, you…” Ares trailed off, letting Eros take the lead.

“Come to Mama and Papa.” his four year old son finished his sentence, looking serious like he was delivering an answer in math class.

“Correct. So which one of you ate the pozole last night?”

There was a part of Ares that doubted they had done it, though. The thief had been incredibly meticulous in covering their tracks, no stains or prints in sight. The only reason Ares noticed the missing quantity was because he had actually made the dish himself, and he knew exactly how filled the pot had been. How well-thought the operation had been overall required a bit more stealth than his four year olds were capable of.

Hopefully. Otherwise he and Aphrodite were so screwed.

Harmonia and Eros glanced at each other and then proceeded to simultaneously shake their heads.

“We didn’t, Papa.”

Okay, Ares wasn’t new at this. It wasn’t the first time the little ones thought they could weaponize their big eyes and wide grins and turn them against him. He wasn’t even mad, it was the principle of the matter. He and Aphrodite agreed the kids had to feel free to come to them to ask for more food, safe in the knowledge they would never be turned away by their parents. They didn’t have to sneak around and smuggle items out of the kitchen.

Ares opened his mouth to tell them a variation of that, but one look at Eros’ cherubic wings made him pause.

They weren’t flapping.

His son’s wings were dove shaped, but the feathers resembled something more eagle-like, (possibly due to the influence of Ares’ genetics) white and pristine since the day he was born.

They were also his biggest tell: not strong enough to fly yet, they twitched like mad every time Eros lied.

The utter petulance on the boy’s face as he tried to get them under control was something Ares wanted to blame on Aphrodite, but the truth was he had seen that same expression one too many times on both their faces.

Only this time the wings were still, nary a twitch in sight, and Ares had to admit he had missed the culprit again.

“It could be someone pulling a prank on us.” Aphrodite said as they settled into bed one night, a few days after Ares’ fruitless conversation with the kids. “Hermes or something.”

“Sneaking into our pantry and eating small portions of our food isn’t really Hermes’ brand of mischief.” Ares argued. “Besides, what would he need to do that for? He can literally snap his fingers and conjure whatever.”

“Maybe it’s someone else then.” Aphrodite shrugged, looking supremely unconcerned at the possibility of some stranger essentially breaking into the home where they and their children slept and committing theft, however minor.

Ares knew it was because she was confident it wasn’t anything serious, because if his girlfriend ever felt they or their kids were threatened she could put the fear of the Primordials even in his father, and that wasn’t something anyone could claim.

Gods, he loved this woman.

“I am just irked by the whole thing, you know? I feel like whoever it is are mocking us.” Ares grumbled, watching Aphrodite tie the end of her long braid with a pink ribbon without even glancing downwards.

“I am sure you’ll figure it out.” She kissed him soundly. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

Ares didn’t sleep at all that night (sorry Dite) but the plan he drafted to catch the mysterious food thief in the act was nothing sort of genius. It involved copious amounts of string, a jingle bell from one of Harmonia’s toys, a HD camera he pilfered from Apollo, and a bait tantalizing enough to tempt a saint: his mother’s double stuffed smore brownies.

Ares had to pull strings to get Hera to bake those in such a short notice, but as he carefully set the plate down on the counter, all he could think was: worth it.

No one could resist the allure of his mother’s baking.

“Is that extra chocolate graham cracker? Gods spare me.”

It took a considerable amount of effort on Ares’ behalf not to forget what he was here for entirely and just inhale the whole thing himself.

Yeah, the food thief was definitely down for the count.

Satisfied with himself, Ares turned the lights off, turned the camera on, and waited.

And waited. And waited. And waited.

Now he knew what trying to catch Santa in the act felt like.

He hadn’t been able to detect a concise pattern when it came to the thief’s, well, thieving, only that it was somewhat regular and occurred every month or so. But sometimes it happened twice in the span of a few weeks and once the thief skipped a month entirely.

Ares was so busy trying to calculate the number of days between tonight and the last incident (nine of Aphrodite’s limited edition flavor changing French truffles had vanished without a trace) that he almost missed the bell chiming.

Shooting to his feet, the war god made a mad dash for the kitchen, hand immediately reaching for the trusted sword strapped to his hip.

He would show this sniveling excuse of a criminal what happened to those that defiled his family’s sanctuary (and ate his brownies!).

He would teach them the hard way not to ever covet the gods’ belongings again.

He would…

Swinging his sword with a war cry, Ares lunged forward.

And found himself staring at his very displeased, very judgmental niece.

“Let me get this straight.”

Ares ran a hand through his curls, probably tousling them beyond repair. He would have to let Aphrodite put conditioner on them. But honestly, after nearly decapitating the mysterious food thief whose secret identity had plagued him for three months, only to find out said thief was his niece, well, Ares thought he was entitled to his reaction.

“You’ve been fighting with your mom over eating healthy, so your solution was to sneak into my house and eat my chips and chocolate instead of, I don’t know, getting your own?”

His voice rose a little at that last part.

Viola, for her part, looked entirely unrepentant. She sat cross-legged on his counter, eating the brownies straight out of the container with a spoon Ares was pretty sure was meant for soup.

“Athena forbade all the shopkeepers on Olympus to sell me over 7 chocolate bars a week. One for each day after dinner, she said.” Viola scoffed as if the idea was ridiculous. “I burned through my secret stash within a week. It’s going to take me some time to charm the shopkeepers back to my side. She’s pretty goddamn scary when she wants to be, and they are all wimps.”

Ares tried to comprehend this information, but it was 2 am and his brain wasn’t entirely cooperating.

Anyone with a working set of ears was aware of Viola and Athena’s tumultuous relationship. In just the short three months the girl had been living with the Olympians since the diplomatic incident that forced her out of the Faerie realm (her permanent residence) for a whole year, her clashes with the wisdom goddess had become the stuff of legend.

Ares himself wasn’t surprised. Viola and Athena were like oil and water. Night owl versus early riser, flashy and fashionable versus practical and conservative, careless and spontaneous versus organized and prepared. Even if there wasn’t anything to bicker about, they’d sure make something imaginary up and go from there.

However, this particular stunt felt… odd, even for Viola’s standards.

And this was the girl that convinced Hermes to take her for a joyride in Artemis’ moon chariot.

“Okay kid, time for subtitles. I am too tired for this. If you wanted snacks, why didn’t you just ask someone?”

“I am not allowed to leave Olympus per the terms of the treaty.” Viola reminded him. “The forest is considered part of the grounds, but that’s the end of the property line and as far as the wards extend. Since no one on this godsdamn mountain is permitted to sell me past the Ice Queen’s limit, the closer shops are in the mortal realm. And I can’t go there without violating the treaty and pissing off a lot of important people.”

Viola used air quotes for those last words. There was a tint of bitterness to her speech that warned Ares to tread carefully. For the first time, he contemplated how it must have felt to her, ripped from her home and used as a pawn in the complicated relations between the Olympians and the Fae, essentially changing hands. It was a lot of responsibility to place on a child, even one as precocious as Viola, not to mention the added strain of having to live with a mother she hardly knew anything about.

It gave a whole new meaning to her rebellious tendencies for sure.

“Alright.” Ares said slowly. “I get not wanting to mess with the treaty’s rules. But why not take the stuff from a store and leave the money in the register?”

Viola shrugged, taking another bite of gooey brownie, but there was something deceptively casual about the motion. Like she had to try to pull it off.

“It didn’t feel right, you know? That’s someone’s job. Not to mention, if Athena found out she never would have believed they didn’t just cave and sell it to me. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

“But it’s okay if you get in trouble?” Ares asked, curbing his voice into something a little more gentle.

Another one-shouldered shrug.

“I am always in trouble. If not for this then something else. I like a little variety.”

Ares took in Viola’s hunched posture, the way her fingers were wrapped protectively around the container with the brownies as though she feared he would snatch it away before she finished, and the dark circles under her eyes and realized there was more to this than a midnight craving.

“Kid, I still don’t get it. Why all the sneaking around? You could have just knocked on the front door. Dite would have fed you to her heart’s content.”

“It’s not like Athena doesn’t feed me.” Viola protested immediately, eyebrows furrowing. “Sure, she’s a little too invested in the whole protein/no carbs after three/smoothie before the gym thing, but even she understood I need my daily chocolate fix the same way she needs her tea after supper, you know? It’s just…”

Ares waited patiently as she tried to find the right words.

He already had a good enough of a clue where this was headed.

“I am on my period, okay?” Viola aggressively stuffed her mouth with chocolate marshmallow. “And it sucks because when does it not and the cramps are killing me and I want to do nothing but curl up watching Love Actually and Gone with the Wind and eat a bucket of ice cream all by myself and I just…”

She waved her free hand around, indicating at Ares’ kitchen as though he could figure out the rest on his own.

He could, actually. After all, Ares had Hera for a mother, Hebe, Eileithyia and Enyo for sisters and Aphrodite for a wife. He knew a thing or two about period stigma.

“That’s perfectly acceptable.” he said, and Viola’s head snapped in surprise as though she expected him to say something nonsensical about how gross periods were like they were in third grade.

“You can have anything you like unapologetically on your period. It’s already uncomfortable and painful, you deserve the pampering. If that means indulging in gourmet French chocolate, you do what makes you happy. Your body is doing some hard work, you can reward it with pizza or chips or whatever. And treat yourself while you’re at it.”

Viola stared at him like he had grown two heads like a Hydra. Ares raised a bushy eyebrow.

“What? I am the eldest sibling. I’ve got a mother that doesn’t take shit from anyone. I have three baby sisters that won’t settle for anything other than being treated like the princesses they literally are. My girlfriend is the literal goddess of beauty. I’ve been raised right.”

“So it seems. Kudos to you, actually. I didn’t think you had it in you. That’s a major green flag right there.” For the first time that night, the beginnings of the familiar impish smile bloomed on Viola’s lips. Ares took the win for what it was.

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t go spreading it around. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.” Ares pretended to be gruff. “But seriously, if you want me to fetch you like, a heating pad or something, I got you covered. Hebe has me thoroughly trained in what painkillers do the trick. And I always get my mother ginger tea and Danish pastries.”

“The god of war is a softie and I am living for it.” Viola gushed, grey eyes sparkling in a way Athena’s rarely did.

“Eat your brownies, kid.” Ares rolled his eyes. “But I still don’t get it. Why didn’t you tell Athena you have period cravings?”

Viola’s good mood vanished. She glanced sourly at the half empty container.

“She wouldn’t understand.”

Ares blinked at that.

“She’s a woman.”

If the kid was comfortable discussing this with him, then surely she could talk about it with another adult who was literally her own mother, right?

“She’s all about self control and not giving in to our urges. She goes nuts when things don’t go according to schedule, you know? There’s no room in the Goddess of Wisdom’s Daily Plan for unwinding with romcoms and eating our weight in Rocky Road. We’re supposed to be tough and power through, which okay, I get it. I just… didn’t want her to judge me.”

Oh Athena…

Ares was going to have words with his sister (who was generally brilliant but could be such a blithering idiot sometimes) but first things first. He needed to get that dejected expression off his niece’s face.

“Listen up, kid. Taking breaks and recharging doesn’t make you any less of a badass or a strong, capable woman, okay? It’s literally what your body and mind needs to survive and keep on all the good work you’ve been doing. Now, Athena may be used to powering through anything, but even she should know you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you want to do something silly just for fun while you’re literally bleeding for four days straight, then that’s exactly what you should do.”

Viola snorted.

“Sweet of you to think it’s only four days.”

“What? You know, nevermind.” Ares shook his head. “The thing is, Athena can come across as frigid and judgmental at times, but even she wouldn’t deny you a little indulgence when you so clearly need it. She’s hardcore, but she’ll cut you some slack.”

Viola looked doubtful, which honestly made Ares want to march up to Athena’s palace despite the ungodly (no pun intended) hour and ask her what the Hades she had been doing to alienate the girl this badly.

Apparently fatherly instincts could extend to distressed kids that weren’t even his. Who knew.

“Okay, how about this? You stay over tonight, and tomorrow we all have breakfast with the little ones. Dite has this special pancake recipe that will make you see Kronos in a piece of batter. You’re going to be licking your plate clean.”

Viola’s grin returned full force.

It mustn't have been a conscious decision, but the girl leaned forward and enveloped his larger frame into a hug. 

"Thanks Uncle Ares." Viola mumbled into his neck, a testament to how affected she really was.

This baby owl was going to make him soft.

Damn it.

Ares knocked once on the heavy oak doors leading to Athena's study and entered without a care in the world.

The goddess of wisdom was seated behind the ornate, claw foot desk, engrossed in some parchments filled with tiny, cursive writing in Ancient Greek.

"You do realize the whole point of knocking is to wait for a reply, right?" she asked dryly.

"I come bearing gifts." Ares said in lieu of an answer and dumped the box he was holding all over her papers.

Athena hissed in annoyance and tried to recollect them.

"Yo, pay attention." Ares snapped his thumb and forefinger inches from her face.

"What's gotten into you?" Athena asked, cheeks darkening with anger.

"You need an intervention and you need it yesterday." 

As Ares relayed the facts of what had transpired the previous night, he was somewhat surprised when Athena didn't immediately start yelling in outrage. 

Maybe she wasn't as hopeless at this as he thought.

"I trust you have the common sense not to rat me out. The last thing Viola needs is thinking someone else broke her trust." Ares said, looking and feeling uncharacteristically stern. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, to be honest. He had always assumed berating Athena would make him feel like the happiest god to ever grace the heavens, but now that day had finally come, all he could think about was Viola's crushed face last night in his kitchen.

Ares wasn't okay with his gloating coming at the price of a kid's comfort.

"Of course I won't tell her." Athena said like he was being an idiot and put her head in her hands. "Fates, this is such a mess. Why didn't she come to me?" 

"Maybe because, and don't even think about acting shocked, people don't usually seek the comfort of those that hurt them?" Ares retorted sarcastically. "What the fuck have you been doing?" 

"Nothing! I swear, I was just trying to get her to consume something that wasn't orange soda pop tarts for breakfast! The one chocolate bar per day seemed like a good compromise, and Viola even agreed to it!" Athena protested.

"Look, I get it, the kid is a handful." Ares conceded because that much was true. "You can't have her walking around either on a sugar rush or a sugar crash every day. Trying to set her nutritional habits straight isn't a bad thing. But you clearly forgot to factor in something important."

"I didn't think about it." It was a cold day in the Fields of Punishment if Athena was openly admitting that. To him! Ares wished he had a camera. 

"Well, you not thinking about it got someone really hurt." Ares continued without rubbing it in her face despite the overwhelming desire to do just that.

If he didn't get the Brother of the Year award this year he was going to riot. 

"I know, alright?" Athena rubbed her forehead. "I'll talk to her. Make sure she understands her period cravings are nothing to be ashamed of."

Finally they were getting somewhere. 

His job almost done, Ares pointed at the box he had brought.

"What's that?" 

"An olive branch." Ares thought it over for a moment and snickered. "Although this one definitely tastes better." 

As Athena unwrapped the golden foil, a blue velvet box of fancy chocolate truffles was revealed. The label advertised them as beetle shaped, cranberry jam filled white and milk chocolate bites.

"You'll do better with Viola if you bring in a peace offering." Ares explained gruffly. 

Athena studied him carefully.

"I can't take credit for this. It was your idea."

Ares rolled his eyes. She really was clueless, wasn't she? 

"Take the damn candies and go apologize to your kid. Do something with her that doesn't involve fighting for once, okay? She's not bad once you get to know her."

Viola really wasn't. A bit intense, sure, but Ares happened to like her brand of chaos. It was about time Athena found someone her icy demeanor couldn't intimidate. 

Athena looked from the beetles to him then to the beetles again as though she had been presented with a very complicated math problem. 

"I am messing this up, aren't I?"

She sounded almost defeated. Ares decided there and then it wasn't a good look on her.

"You can do better." he said flatly, because he wasn't one to mince words. "You're not terrible. You clearly care about her being healthy and stuff. That's good. But having a kid is about more than just putting a roof over her head and making sure she has blankets and keeping her fed. You gotta care about her feelings. Make sure she doesn't pull stunts, yeah, but there's a difference between disciplining her and hurting her. And if you mess up, swallow your damn pride and apologize."

Athena sighed deeply.

"I wish there was a rule-book for this. Every time I feel like I am ahead of things something happens and I have to deal with yet another curve ball thrown my way. It’s exhausting." 

Ares grinned. 

"Congratulations. You just became a mom. It sucks deeply sometimes, but you are going to love it." 

See you for next week's Episode Four: A Clash of Style

Tagging as per usual: @sarnai4, @firinnie, @greekmythstan, @angelfoxlove,

@strongest-angel-in-heaven, @mer-acle, @cloak-of-ares

[supernova41st]

Vox x Daughter!Android! Reader

Chapter 2: Empathy

Ch.1 Ch.2

Warnings: Swearing

A/n: so this is kinda a continuation of a rlly old fic I made a few months ago. I edited it a bit to make it look more like my new style of writing so make sure to read that! Also idk anything about computers so most of this stuff is just stuff I pulled out my ass 😻

Robot vocab-☆♡~!!•?

Third POV:

“Step on here.” Vox says out loud, tapping your oval shaped eyes, glowing blue. Your light blinks a bit at him, while you lift your head in order to face him, still collecting data on everything around you. The floor, the walls, the wires, your feet, Vox. Everything felt so new yet so familiar, you knew everything as well as nothing at all.

Vox sighs out of annoyance, that the robot that he had been working on for years is being quite unresponsive. But of course, he can’t just throw you out of all things away for such a small flaw. To him, you were bigger than his other products, you were a spectacle.

Vox eventually just decides to grab you by the back of your neck, and places you on the charging system for you. Like a mother cat lifting her babies by the neck. You then hear a small click beneath you, as the area around you glows. While Vox stands right next to you, his hands clasped behind his back.

“AW.77//FOUND”

Your head snaps at the voice that comes as soon as the square glows. “Don’t be frightened my failure of a friend, this is just a test! You’ll be in and out in no time.” Vox says in his regular swingy tone. “Now we just gotta see if your basic stuff is there, Yknow just to see if I’m not gonna have to worry about you for the next few years. Again.” Oof, he sounds a bit irritated on that last part. I mean who wouldn’t be after spending hours upon hours on an ai that can’t even respond to you.

“4ARM//:FIREARM”

Your left arm is then lifted by some sort of force that took over your body, then revealing a firearm of some sort opening from underneath your forearm. “Oh shit!! I forgot I added that..” Vox laughs, tapping at the muzzle of the weapon. The socket begins to close as the voice comes in again.

“VOICEBOX//:220”

“☆”, high pitched beep comes from the speaker that is laid in your chest. Vox eyes widen a bit, realizing that he had forgotten to finish up your voice file. Now you can only speak in beeps. “✿$~?” You ask, (I think..) “Fuck, no wonder you couldn’t respond. Alright let’s get you off” Vox then recreates the same scene he did putting you on the square, now removing you.

“You know what? Why don’t you stay here while I go grab my dead friend Velvet to get you some clothes for your naked self!!” Vox asks, waiting for a response as if he was gonna receive one. All he gets is two glowing ovals staring at him, “groan okay I’ll take you with me. Not like you have much to do here anyways”

Vox drags you the towers main elevator, then getting to Velvettes floor where she was screaming at her designers as usual. “Velvette?” Vox calls out calmly as if she wasn’t yelling at the top of her lungs. “Oh! Thank goodness you’re here Mr v.” She says sarcastically. “What do you need? And make it fast. I have a show to do in 2 hours and my models aren’t here yet.” Velvet exclaims.

“Well, I have a new model for you.” Vox nudges you a bit to take a step ahead to present you to Velvette. Velvette raises a brow, clearly unamused at vox’s ‘model’. “The fuck is this? Do I look like I make clothes for Claires?” Velvette complains while poking your fairly large metal head. Vox clicks his tongue, “okay well she isn’t supposed to be a model, she’s a project I’ve been working on and I just need her in some clothes.” He admits, holding his hands behind his back.

Velvette, still in her unamused look, sighs. “Yeah sure I’ll find her something.” Velvette then claps her hands twice before yelling, “MELISSA, THE STAGE, NOW!!” Her dear model steps onto the plush step up chair to try on outfits while Velvette snaps her fingers in order to show off the clothes she has in store for Voxs ‘project’. A short pink sundress poofs onto Velvettes model, Vox immediately cringing at the flashiness of the dress.

“How about this one? It was apart of my summer collection a few months ago” Velvette grins waiting for Vox’s response. “Hmm, let’s uhh look at more!” Velvette shrugs snapping her fingers again, showing a white thigh length dress, folded on the chest to be shoulderless, completed with a blue belt. “Oo this one’s cute innit? I bet your little friend would love it.”

Vox shrugs, he didn’t really care about the aesthetics, just as long as it covered his ‘projects’ body. “I’ll take it!” Vox says proudly, Velvette snaps her fingers, the outfit appearing right in her hands on a hanger. “Here ya go luv, tell your project I said you’re welcome” Velvette chirps. “Speaking of which, where did the cheeky little bugger go?”

Vox looks around a bit, before laying his eyes on you, who’s now covered in large unrolled sheets of fabrics and threat. “Hey! I had those organized!” Velvette yells. Vox, like a panicked parent, runs towards you to grab you by the wrist. “I’m so sorry Velvette! She’s still getting use to this place Yknow” Vox says with a large smile on his face. “Well then get er’ out of here! I don’t need her ‘getting use to’ anything around here” Vox makes a poker face at her, before dragging you to the elevator.

“Are you serious? You could’ve gotten damaged out there! I mean my work could’ve been a huge waste if one of those things fell directly on you!!” He yells. You completely ignoring him, begin to poke the random buttons that were placed in the elevator. Vox slaps his screen, “Jesus fuck what am I gonna do with you..”

You begin to look up at his screen, attempting to gather most of what he’s feeling.

“#$@*”

Vox looks down, to see you, now hugging him, your cheek lying against his stomach. Suddenly, you started to glow pink. Now for some reason, you can feel. Not feeling physically, but emotionally. Empathy was being printed in each wire in your body, and from what you knew, hugging was the best way you could show it.

Vox was a bit confused at your gesture, he didn’t really know how to feel since no one has ever showed him this level of affection. It felt right tho, like he got what he deserved. Even without words, he knew what you wanted to say. And he knew how to respond.

“Uh, I guess I forgive you..?”

[spookberry]

Hello I hope you are doing well! I wanted to say that I really love your art! Could I ask for more information about Henri and Claire, or just Henri in general? I think they're super cute but additionally, I think Henri is interesting by himself because I feel like I don't know as much about him! How long has he been immortal? How did he become immortal? How did he learn to exorcise? Oh, and I wanted to ask how you feel about fanart of your ocs? I really love Claire's design and I think it would be fun to draw him :)

:D! No one's ever asked me about Henri before! Also to answer your last question I'd love fanart of my OCs 🥺

More on Henri under the cut:

Okay so basically his backstory goes like this: back in the Victorian era there was this couple that was really into the occult. They were fairly nomadic, traveling the states as consultants when people were having supernaturally driven issues. This couple also happened to have a young son, Henri. Henri and his folks were very close and he took after them and their interest in ancient magic A Lot.

When Henri was about 9 his parents died. They left everything to him, but they didn't exactly have a house or anything, just a ton of old books and cursed trinkets. His favorite though was a book that was written entirely in ancient greek. So when he ran away to avoid being shipped off to live with relatives that didnt appreciate his interest in magic too much, that book was one of the things he thought to grab first.

Grief can make a 9 year old orphan do crazy shit, for Henri it became about trying to translate this book. Thats when he discovered problem number 2 with the book: its full of dark magic. Every spell in it is awful and corrupting. There's one unfinisged spell thats meant to banish a demon from their host body. And its like the one spell he can concieve of in this book that isnt just like flat out evil. So he decided to try and finish it.

The book also has a demon summoning ritual in it, so you can guess what he does.

After that he's saddled with Claire a 12 year old girl who is VERY mad it him about getting rid of her demon and demands he help her find him again. (Note: Claire does not realize he's trans yet here)

They try to summon skid back but it just doesnt work, so they gotta do this the old fashioned way.

Takes them months before they finally manage to track skid down again, but during that time the two manage to become friends. Claire opens up a lot about her fear of dying and how she feels she cant enjoy life because of how little time she has left. Henri decides his new goal in life is to heal her so that they can grow up and grow old together. He tells her as much and she gives him this gentle little smile and he internally is like "i would die for her" (he's in love but doesnt know it yet.)

Once Skid is back in and puppeting the body, Henri makes the choice to stick by Skid's side. He needs them to be close for when he finally figures out a way to heal her. And ya know the modern medicine of cough syrup with cocaine and mercury isnt gonna do it so he starts experimenting with magic instead.

He's 15 when he accidentally curses himself. Part of the curse effects his memory, so he doesn't actually know WHAT he did, and he doesn't even realize right away that he isn't aging. All he knows at first is that suddenly dark magics waaaay easier to do so he needs to be careful about that and also one of his eyes is fucked up. So now his secondary motive is also undo his own curse as well as heal Claire. Cuz itd suck if he finally heals Claire but isnt able to age himself, ya know?

Henri's a pretty chill guy and most of the cast view him as skid's 2nd in command and often her voice of reason(though he himself is prone to being impulsive and moody due to the whole technically still being 15 thing). The underlings also all view him as an older brother sort, because he's protective but often "hands off" in how deals with things but also hes just really tall. Lucky him he had his growth spurt before cursing himself to never age.

He tends to have a lot of memory issues, some days are worse than others. On his worst days he doesn't even remember how he met skid, but most days hes just sort of fuzzy and cant quite remember all 200 years he's spent by their side. His vision has also deteriorated with time, he cant see out of his left eye at all and can only make out colors and general shapes out with his left.

Even though he stuck with Skid for Claire's sake, Henri has actually become very close with skid after 200 years. Skid's secretive and doesnt actually like talking about themself honestly but depsite that he knows a lot about them. He knows skid has their own memory issues, and he's aware that Skid's not a full demon. He's heard skid's human name before but forgot it at some point and knows better than to ask about it. He's also very aware that Skid's prone to getting involved in shit which leads to them getting hurt magically and letting Claire run the body for a couple days every other decade. So they still get to see each other. These brief meetings is how Henri realized he was in love with Claire.

Bonus Info: Henri doesn't actually subscribe to modern labels and doesnt really consider himself as being into women or men. He just loves who he loves. (Hes asexual and panromantic)

Fun Fact: i came up with Henri and Skid when I was 12, but every other character in their story, including Claire, formed a slightly later.

^ skid and Henri drawings from when I was 12

[clatterbane]

About to try some of my own inaugural batch of homemade vanilla ice cream, made the lazy way using some of that commercial pouring custard!

Seemed like a good time now that it's firmed up well in the freezer, and my blood sugar has gone back down from a late supper.

Made using the ice cream freezer attachment that Mr. C also decided to pick up to go with the stand mixer. We hadn't actually tried it out yet (though I had vaguely been thinking about it), until he got a brainstorm the other day and picked up some ingredients including a couple of cartons of the vaniljsås, washed the ice cream maker, and stuck the base into the freezer.

He made a smaller low effort test batch last night, using just a carton of the custard and an eyeballed splash of cream. It tasted good, if a little light on the sweetness. But, the texture left something to be desired--especially after it froze up completely in the freezer afterward. Definitely good for a first attempt.

That still went fast enough that I decided to get the (still very cold!) thing washed and back into the freezer last night, to be ready to play around with it myself this evening.

So, I also went for a tweaked version of the same basic approach. Being the person I am, I worked with a couple.of ice cream recipe calculators on the web to get a better idea of ingredient proportions to aim for and why--and then just winged it with some packaged custard thrown in.

The base recipe I settled on:

150ml whole milk, warmed in the microwave at around lunchtime with 100g of extra sugar dissolved into it (then covered and stuck in the fridge to chill)

200ml custard (hey, may as well count that as milk plus some bonus stabilizers!)

Heavy cream to top the measuring cup up to a UK pint/close enough to 600ml total

Around 1/3 tsp. extra vanilla extract

Small pinch of salt

Still pretty simple, but that thinned it out some and brought the milkfat/sugar roughly into recommended ranges for mouthfeel and freezing qualities. Still a tad light on the sugar, but the finished ice cream tasted plenty sweet to me. It did also freeze a little hard, so I may need to play around some more.

It looked like a good quantity of ice cream mix for that size of freezer bowl, which does seem to turn out a decent two-person batch.

Some in the disconcerting interior color bowl, with some store brand sauce at the ready! That type is basically like runnier Nutella, and not surprisingly worked really well on the vanilla. Without palm oil, before self-righteous randos crawl up into my notes.

This did also freeze up a little hard and slightly crystally, which may have been partly because it could have used a few more minutes in the ice cream maker before I put it into that potato salad tub and froze if the rest of the way. I think it really was a little too soft, but patience really isn't my strong suit.

Mr. C ate a pretty big bowl before he went to bed, while it was still at the soft serve stage (after at least 45 minutes in our really cold freezer), and seemed to enjoy it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Next time up, I am tempted to go more complicated and try for a fairly simple blueberry cheesecake flavor, using some cream cheese and frozen berries.

I also want to try to make some serviceable good old American style sherbet, since you just can't find it elsewhere. Haven't eaten any for at least 15 years now. (The straight orange ice cream you can get here is pretty damned good, though. And I bet it would make at least as good a float with ginger ale or 7-Up.) I do suspect the whole texture thing may be trickier, without industrial ingredients and equipment.

Chocolate is another to-do, but at least it is way easier to find good plain chocolate ice cream without chunks of gluteny brownies and shit in stores here than it was in the UK.

In the somewhat near future, I also want to play around with some other sweeteners including erythritol to make something lower carb, but sticking to easier mode with all sugary stuff until I get more experience working with that. With all the milkfat and some protein to help buffer the carbs, ice cream is relatively easy on my blood sugar anyway. Seems to be a pretty common thing, at least for T1s. I may have actually overshot the insulin for that bowl, so it may be another little snack soon.

But, good investment--even if it did take us a while to finally start using it!

[oligoweee]

Smile Hell Info Dump

I'm going to basically info dump about my old Smiler story called "Smile Hell." I never even got close to finishing the story, I only got roughly 20k words in and that didn't even get into it all however I had lost motivation.

In this universe, the Ministry of Joy (it's not actually called that) basically has locations all across the globe that aim for bringing joy to everyone but have many faults and there was even a reversal serum in the works. The Smiler roller coaster does exist at Alton Towers and there are many rumors surrounding it, some of which are in fact secretly true. I think it is an interesting take on the MOJ and I'd love to go back to it someday but for now I will give a fairly in-depth summary and talk about what was written, general lore/ideas, and what I had planned, including the ending.

Trigger warnings for: suicide, mental illness, kidnapping, murder, medical themes, abuse, and gore.

(Not going into detail for these because this is just a summary-type thing but they are referenced so I am putting warnings as a precaution.)

This is gonna be a VERY long (roughly 4.5k words long) post so have fun reading if you decide to, you're in for a long ride :)

[Also here was the cover for it!]

So, the important characters are:

Levee Bailey

Lance Hawks

Archie Bailey

Isa [No Last Name]

Doctor Thomas Lukes

Braylen [No Last Name]

This story takes place in 2021 in Maine USA and specifically a real life county by the name of Oxford.

Many people over the span of a year were going missing and no one was able to find them or they would be found but they behaved drastically different than before.

In Oxford County, two families lived there known as the Bailey family and the Hawks family. Lance Hawks was a theme park enthusiast and would travel all over the world or just go to theme parks nearby in the US, one of these trips was Alton Towers and he offered to bring along his neighbor and closest friend, Levee Bailey alongside her two teenage brothers, Archie and Koda. This trip was only left to references in the story. They went on the Smiler of course and things were fine up until they flew back to the US.

Before that, Koda had been struggling with mental illness and it kept declining but then the trip (and specifically the Smiler) had boosted his mood for a few weeks afterward until it started to decline again. In May, he committed suicide however his sister had been there and for months afterward, she thought it was her fault and that she was a murderer despite everything telling her otherwise. His death was all over the news and attracted a bunch of public attention and many articles online.

So now we get to where the main story begins, September of 2021.

Levee is still dealing with her grief and she often finds herself standing in Koda's room just grieving. She has flashbacks of the day he died quite often. Since the loss of Koda, Levee tried making attempts to get closer with her remaining brother, Archie, but experiences a lot of pain when looking at him because of his similar resemblance to Koda.

Since her brother's death, Levee constantly feels like she's being watched. Like hundreds of eyes are on her at all times. She's constantly paranoid outside her home and is always telling herself that everything is in her head. What she doesn't know is that she is in fact being somewhat watched in one way or another. This feeling is both real and in her head at the same time.

One morning she wakes up and realizes that her best friend (and neighbor), Lance, is not in his garden and she finds that really odd because he's always gardening in the mornings unless he's traveling. Levee tries thinking logically but deep down she feels that something bad has happened. And she is absolutely correct. We soon learn that Lance was in fact abducted and a missing person report was filed however with how many people have gone missing from Oxford County with little to no updates, there's not a whole lot of hope about Lance. (Sorry, pal.)

One of the people missing from Oxford County is a woman by the name of Aria Davis, her case was by far one of the most popular because she is one of the longest lost people, having been missing for nearly a year. Levee came across an article about her disappearance and was quite panicked and that is when she stopped thinking logically about Lance not being outside. So, she did the smart thing and went to his house and spoke to his mother who told Levee the news.

She was obviously upset to the point she didn't tell Archie so he decided to go over there himself and then he got back, wondering why Levee didn't tell him. When he questioned her about it the two started to get into an argument so he left the room clearly pissed.

Now there's a bit of filler but since it's September, Archie is going back to school. Well on his first day of school that boy got kidnapped and Levee did not know until she herself got kidnapped. Fun times with the Bailey family, am I right?

So, on this day, Levee goes to her job which is at the end of her street and it's roughly a ten minute walk (or in her case, a five minute run.) She feels like she is being watched the entire time but gets to her workplace and the day goes on until she has to go back home.

Levee dashes back home as the sun is setting and while thinking Archie is home from school, she knocks on the door as he usually unlocks it for her but this does not happen so she tries calling him and he doesn't answer, she assumes that he's still mad at her from the previous day so she grabs her house key but quickly realizes that it is not inside of her satchel bag (which previously belonged to Koda, fun bit of lore) so she gets a bit panicked as that feeling of being watched is not going away any time soon.

So, she runs over to the Hawks' house and rings the doorbell because she thought someone would be home but nobody answers and this causes her even more distress as she is alone outside in the dark. Levee then proceeds to out of reflex try and call Lance who obviously does not answer and then after this she calls her mother who tells her to go back to her workplace and wait there because her mom would be out of work shortly.

And this is where Levee's fate is set.

She makes a run for it back to her workplace but since it is very dark out, she doesn't quite know where she's going and the streetlights are dimmed. Then she notices a truck going down the street and she could have sworn it was following her. This completely screws up her course and she ends up going the wrong direction and running face first into a telephone pole which breaks her nose.

Levee is pretty much stunned for a moment and sitting on the ground to try and recover and she comes to the realization she ran in the wrong direction so she pulls out her phone and tries to go onto Google Maps but has no mobile data or anything.

She sits there trying to regain her energy and strength to get up off the sidewalk and she eventually does when she hears heavy footsteps coming from behind her. So, once again she starts running and then it turns out she's being shot at by whoever was chasing her.

Levee can only dodge the darts for so long before one lands in her neck and stuns her, within a few moments exhaustion overcomes her and she passes out with one last thought in her head, "I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

---

Levee wakes up on a bed inside of a hospital-like room and it brings back memories of being with Koda when he died. She can't quite recall how she got in this place but is aware of an odd sensation on her arm, specifically the crook of her elbow which has gauze taped to it (implying that she had been poked with a needle of some sort.) For some reason, there is a very small feeling of joy that she can't quite focus on but it keeps her calmed for the most part.

She realizes there is a somewhat dull pain all throughout her head and neck but again, she can't recall what had happened. Despite her recognizing the room she's in as some kind of hospital one, she knows for certain she is not in a real hospital.

There is a description of the room which I will share a little of; the upper halves of the walls are a sandy-gray color whereas the lower halves are made of black and bright-yellow stripes and at the very bottom there is short white trimming lining the walls. The floor is made of light-gray tiles.

There's a table in this room and on top of it is a key card lanyard so once she gets herself off of the bed, she stumbles over to there and takes it. There is a name written on it alongside numbers and she doesn't quite understand what they mean. Next to the lanyard there is a note which tells her how to use it and that only her key card and her roommate's key card will work on the singular room door however the cards work on all other doors within the "Sanctuary." It also explains that she is a "employee," for this place and that she's currently on the third floor and needs to make her way up the fourth floor in order to change into uniform.

Levee looks over at the other side of the room and notices her roommate who is fast asleep, the table on their side contains the same items as Levee's.

Using the key card, she leaves the room and makes her way through a hallway with many different doors that need to be unlocked some of which are other rooms.

She makes her way to the fourth floor, changes uniform, notices there are spots of yellow in her irises (which are normally brown), then proceeds to leave the employee only floors (third and fourth) and skedaddles to the second floor which has a locked staircase as nearly all the doors in this building require a key card.

I will not be going into much detail about the second floor however, it is a living area for patients and has some bookcases that have books and brochures.

The low, somewhat raspy voice of someone catches her attention as they ask her who she is, she introduces herself and they introduce themselves. This is where Braylen is introduced, he is a patient in the Sanctuary and is implied to be a trans guy (this is canon it's just never outright said within the story.) There is no yellow present in his eyes which shows that he hasn't had any treatment yet. Levee states her confusion which causes her to giggle and it makes Braylen uneasy but he tells her the information that he knows about the place.

Braylen states that the place was in fact a real hospital back in the 2000s owned by a man called Doctor Thomas Lukes however the doctor calls it a "Sanctuary."

Levee thanks him for the information and then proceeds to continue her exploration throughout the Sanctuary. She finds the cafeteria on the first floor and there are a couple people sitting at tables some of which are employees. Then a voice calls out to her.

It's Lance, who is sitting at a table in the back of the cafeteria. The two are both in shock at seeing each other and Lance had scratches on his face which would have concerned Levee if it wasn't for her emotions being messed up. She greets him in a cheery manner and sits down by him.

They have a discussion and Lance, being the theme park enthusiast that he is, compares the place to the Alton Towers Smiler roller coaster lore. He actually goes on to explain the similarities and brings up the fact that there had been previous rumors of the Smiler being based off of real events or that the backstory was real.

Levee is completely weirded out and quite frankly thinks he's being stupid, she tells him he's not making much sense and then comes to the conclusion that he was trying to make light of the dark situation. They continue speaking some more and eventually Levee tells Lance to stop talking about the Smiler.

Levee then remembers her brother, Archie, and begins to worry about him to which Lance slowly states to her that he thinks Archie is in the Sanctuary too.

Levee does not take this too kindly but her rage is dulled however she still shouts at Lance asking what he means to which he then stupidly asks why she's panicking and she states that she's not but doesn't know what she's feeling.

Lance asks her a question.

"Does it feel like your emotions are just barely there and for some reason you're happy?”

Levee says yes with no hesitation as that is exactly how she was feeling. Lance is feeling this way too.

They continue talking and then Levee brings Lance up to the second floor to speak to Braylen who is sitting on a sofa reading a book that had no title and instead had a smiley face in the form of "=)" on the cover. Braylen then reveals that the book is fifteen pages long (albeit not numbered) and every single page consists of that same smiley face from top to bottom. It's not very important but goes to show this place is odd.

All three are weirded out but put the book aside. Lance and Levee ask Braylen if he has seen or knows anything about Archie. He states that Archie's appearance sounds familiar and that he saw employees (or at least, ones that looked very different and had metal armor) drag him to padded cells on the first floor.

Braylen also states it was nighttime and he wasn't supposed to be out of his room but decided to snoop around anyway and witnessed the scene.

They thank Braylen for his help and proceed to go back to the first floor and find the cells he was talking about. There are twenty in total and the two find Archie inside the fifteenth one that they investigate.

When Levee sees her brother inside the cell, she is quick to unlock it and go inside. Archie is sitting on the floor with red pinprick marks and bruising on his neck and alongside this his hands are wrapped in bandages that have light spots of blood that had seeped through.

The two siblings hug and Levee apologizes for Archie getting into this situation. Much like Levee and Lance, Archie can't remember how he was kidnapped. They exit the cell and speak with each other to which Archie explains a story very similar to the one Braylen shared.

Archie had woken up in his room and instantly panicked, leaving it and stumbling into two people who are later revealed to be apart of a subgroup in the Sanctuary called "The Ones Beyond the Walls." He explains that they saw him and grabbed onto him to which he tried to fight back and in the process destroyed his knuckles on the metal vests they were wearing before he was sedated and brought to a cell.

Levee takes note of his hands and suggests that they change the bandages. Lance knows where there's an infirmary and brings them to it and there is a somewhat gruesome description of Archie's knuckles. Lance cleans the wounds and wraps them in fresh bandages.

They all leave the infirmary and make their way to the cafeteria and discuss the situation for the umpteenth time. In the middle of their discussion, a young woman walks up and stands behind Archie. She introduces herself as Isa. Levee and Archie take note of one of her most unsettling features which is the fact that she has scars starting from the corners of her mouth going along the sides of her face.

(Lance had already met Isa so it wasn't as shocking to him.)

Isa states that she overheard the group of three's conversation and that she had information she could give that might help answer some questions.

...

But unfortunately, this is where I stopped writing.

Don't worry though! Like I said, I am going to talk about general lore and what I had planned including the ending.

---

So, Doctor Lukes' Sanctuary is the name of the hospital our main characters are held captive in. Despite what Levee kept thinking (it not being a real hospital) she is pretty much wrong because it was and technically still is a "real" hospital however it is not at all a professional one. Originally opening in 1999, this psychiatric hospital was operated by Professor Jasper Edmunds and Doctor Thomas Lukes, their hospital was open until 2011 where it closed permanently with no explanation.

Throughout the 2000s, this hospital was controversial and facing lawsuits in regards to abuse of its patients in there for treatment of their mental illnesses. However, they were dropped. This mostly took place in 2005. Professor Edmunds left shortly after this which meant Doctor Lukes was on his own with maintaining most things. In 2009, the hospital would once again face legality issues in regards to two murders that had happened. And finally, in 2011, the hospital was closed and nobody ever heard from Doctor Lukes again.

This is the more detailed form of the information Isa was going to tell the three if I had written past her introduction, I promise it wasn't gonna be a big info dump within the story lol, it was gonna be more spread out. Also, the Sanctuary info is similar to what Braylen had said. Isa was also going to go into a quick explanation on joy serum and laughing gas used in that place which answers the question on why everyone tends to be calm and strangely happy. (Obviously.)

Throughout the story, Levee and Lance try to uncover the secrets of the Sanctuary and they attempt to make an escape plan while pretty much being under the influence of drugs (joy serum) and doing their "job," of treating the patients. They discover that there had been a reversal serum in the works that would, well, reverse the effects of joy serum however there were many major issues with it. It's used within this story and the effects are shown; primarily aggression.

Who was the original one behind the reversal serum? Professor Edmunds, and then Doctor Lukes proceeded to try and complete it but was facing difficulties. And why was there a reversal serum? Because of withdrawal from not having injections of joy serum for a long period of time, it'd only get worse and worse so this was put in place to completely flush out the joy serum in a way. (Side note: Drug withdrawal is a major issue with the joy serum in this universe and it's especially shown with Isa who is constantly relying on even the smallest dose.) However, as said before, the reversal serum had serious issues with it.

So, what was Doctor Lukes' motive in taking a bunch of hostages ("patients/employees")?

Well, it changes in the timeline.

After the hospital had been shut down and with all of the legality issues, the place pretty much became abandoned and not only that but he lost a majority of his research and everything. He's stubborn and did not try and reach out to another facility or anything like that (they're extremely secretive too) so he took his remaining notes and studies, tried making a new joy serum, kidnapped some people that would later be known as "The Ones Beyond the Walls," and tested on them. Continuously tested on them. And then finally, later on, he wanted to try and reverse things and then give the joy serum again and reverse and... yeah.

Where was he working?

Underground beneath the original hospital. And this is where the main story takes place too. I find the Five Nights at Freddy's song "Below the Surface" quite fitting for this and the original Smiler lore in general (I remember seeing a Smile Always edit with it too so that's where I got that from!) And if you're wondering, "How did no one know he was there?" Well, the general public didn't know. With a lot of abandoned properties, there are still people that own the property and that's the case with Doctor Lukes' Sanctuary. The state people knew allat but not the public, you know? As I said before, these places are secretive.

---

The Ones Beyond the Walls are as the name states: special guard-like previous test subjects that lurk in a part of the Sanctuary that is inaccessible to the normal patients and employees but is very much behind the walls of the normal place. They do what Doctor Lukes tells them to and they lurk about at night. They make sure things are in place and such. They are very calm people that take action when needed.

---

Isa is a major part of the lore. It's revealed that she was the longest serving Sanctuary employee starting from being a patient and it's also revealed that she was Aria Davis from the news article Levee had read early on in the story. Aria was not in a good place and Doctor Lukes had reached out to her and offered her money (one of the only times he was somewhat-legally doing this shit) if she'd participate in his experiments/clinical trials and after a while she then got sick of it to which he then forcibly kidnapped her.

As a patient, Aria had gotten her face cut into a smile by an old employee who she later murdered as revenge and stole their identity (hence the name, Isa.) Due to the murder, she was put through a lot of "treatment," until she was left as who she is; an unhinged, overjoyed, snarky woman who seemed as though she was going to help but was instead absolutely hellbent on dragging everyone down with her as she interfered with Levee's and Lance's escape plan. And, she kept the identity of the murdered employee, Isa.

---

There was certainly gonna be filler but also it was gonna show patients and employees getting treatment with joy serum and then the reversal serum being used. Because of the aggression the reversal serum was causing (albeit temporary) the group decided it was best to give it to people and keep them in the "special" cells that had been mentioned earlier.

Eventually, Isa gets the reversal serum injected into her and since she has been under the influence of joy serum for a long time, it doesn't go too well and she is furious and tries to kill Lance who had injected it. She fails and once she somewhat calms down, she struggles to cope with the feeling of not being in a constant state of joy. She experiences withdrawal extremely quickly and this is one of the faults of the reversal serum however it shouldn't have lasted too long.

Isa still tries to interfere with the plan and eventually she kills Doctor Lukes which wasn't apart of the other two's plan but aids in the escape and when she realizes this, she isn't happy. She isn't happy that the newest group won't go through the Hell she went through and thus she attempts to murder the main group but instead gets it turned around on her and Lance kills her which leaves him guilt stricken but Levee tries to reassure him that it was for the best.

‐--

Finally, we get to the ending. The ending is a decent one and although a majority of the facility inhabitants are killed along the way (by Isa and eventually she herself was killed too), nine out of thirty people (patients and employees) escape and this doesn't include TOBW. Levee, Lance, Braylen, and Archie make it out safely albeit very much changed and still having the after effects of the reversal serum. I did in fact write out the epilogue before most of the other things because that is a habit of mine with writing.

So, the epilogue goes something like this...

Two months pass since the events of Smile Hell and our three main characters are trying to return to their normal lives. Braylen, who was cut off by his family before the events, moves in with Lance's family since he has nowhere else to go. Levee's paranoia is very slowly starting to go away and she starts leaving her house more often. It is stated that after escaping, the group had told all they could to the police and it opened a full blown investigation on the grounds of the Sanctuary and they ended up finding bodies buried far behind the hospital.

And yes, the main group gets well needed therapy after all this Hell they've been through lol

Levee, Lance, and Braylen are all out shopping in the town square before they visit Koda's grave which is their plan for the day. Levee sits down on a bench and waits for the men who are inside a store and there is another bench across from her. Someone sits down on it and they're wearing a mask and sunglasses (which she finds odd as it's not very sunny) but she tries not to think much of it before going onto her phone to pass the time.

The stranger across from her giggles which catches her attention and so she glances up and notices their sunglasses are off. Her heart just about skips a beat when she realizes that they have one yellow eye that was fading and one normal eye (implication that this is someone from the Sanctuary.) This obviously makes her highly uneasy and she prays to whoever is listening that her friends would hurry up so they could leave.

Eventually they appear and they don't pay much attention to the person across from her, they all leave but Levee looks behind her to see that the mysterious stranger now had their mask down and was smiling, but not in the unsettling, forced Smiler sense; it was a sincere smile that pretty much said "Thank you." Not only that, but they had very faded scars present on their face. Levee does not recognize them at all before she realized the possibility of them being one of the Ones Beyond the Walls. She gives them a quick thumbs up and a nod before walking off with Lance and Braylen, off to visit Koda's grave at the cemetery.

And that's all, that is the end of it all.

---

Thank you so much if you read this whole thing! I very much appreciate it, I've been working on this lore for roughly two years but never really shared it with people until now.

If I ever do go back to this project and decide to continue the story I think there would be changes but for now this is the "settled in stone," lore of Smile Hell. I don't really know what my inspirations were for this exactly but obviously the general Smiler lore and what the community has come up with. Also I love stories that involve secret organizations and medical stuff like that. There are certainly things that I find unfitting but for my sake and everyone else's sake, I'm not going to critique my own lore for now.

Once again, thank you very much if you read this entire post, I hope it was interesting!!

—

and here's a meme before I go which sums up all of this /j

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In “Time & Again” #24: Well… I’m Sometimes Bad At Naming My Blog Posts 🤷‍♀️ [and a tiny wee bit techy again]

It's high time to make yet another one new blog post with the progress report - but alas, I just keep working and working on everything according to my little list pinned to my desktop, and I am not sure what to report. It's just... steadily going forward. That is all.

Within these few days, I've finished an artwork that will be used as an easter egg on several pages of Chapter 6. As per usual, that will be a reference to an old and fairly famous but somewhat forgotten*-ish* franchise. So keep your eyes open once the chapter is released next year 😉

Mostly, aside from preparing (mentally as well as organization-wise) for GPop Fair quite hyperactively, I'm also steadily working on the cover arts right now. Which is odd. I don't remember myself working on the cover arts PRIOR to working on the chapters themselves. Oh boy, things sure change. Usually before, as a general rule of thumb, I worked on the cover arts last. Chapter 5 was a very good fresh example. Although I have the most cover arts sketched in my sketchbook (usually they have multiple versions sketched, and yet everything is still WIP until I decide on something concept-wise for sure), I usually set to work on them later on as I could see the full pictures of the chapters. Suddenly, I came up with excellent ideas for the cover arts for both Chapter 6.1 and 6.2. And both of them will strongly refer to a famous franchise that bears an incredible importance in the history of development of "Time & Again". More on the matter in detail I will probably write a paragraph for either Collector's Edition of "Time & Again" or in the Behind The Scenes book.

Here's a snyak 🐍 sneak peak (the screenshot has been made during the sketching phase; that is supposed to be a fairly complex art piece, so I needed the sketch this time to make everything extra clean):

Can you recognize the reference? 😉

That cover art is what I've been working on for the last few days. And finally now I'm getting to work on the cover art for Chapter 6.2 that most likely will take me less time says I often before something unexpected happens and it takes, like, quadruple amount of time vs what I anticipated, lol.

Ah! There is something little and neat I'd like to share before I wrap it up for today 🙃 I decided to try out Krita's native video recorder for the first time. I've known about that functionality in Krita before, but, regardless, I've always used my desktop recorder instead, virtually for everything, from taking screenshots of the lulz and fails found randomly across the internet to recording clips from my gaming sessions for... well, little to no purpose, because I decided not to spam my YouTube channel with gaming videos 😅. But, since it's been learning time for me in many ways lately, I decided to give it a try. Maybe it's awesome and I will use it all the time now?! The awesomeness about Krita video recorder is that it's automated (and everybody knows by now how much I love automation, yaaaaaay!): it automatically records the progress once you open the artwork no matter how much time passes in between the drawing sessions. You can start working on a picture, drop it, return to it, say, in a month, and the recording will continue. Awesome!

Here's the screenshot of the export video dialogue:

The settings are pretty self-explanatory. For those familiar with the basics of video editing, there's nothing new. I had to install ffmpeg in order to properly execute the conversion of the video. I had to fiddle with it for a bit before it started working: apparently, the latest version of ffmpeg (7.0.2) does not work in Krita for the reason unknown to me. I tried to resolve it by myself reading the log file left after the failed conversion - but then I stumbled across a Reddit post that talked about the exact same error I was getting, and it turned out that the previous version of ffmpeg (6.1.1.) still works in Krita. And then it assembled me a very nice video.

I have recorded near the whole process of drawing that piece: from the clean lineart to full colouring, AND including trying out an alternative background that I decided to discard in the end. Eventually I will post the timelapse video on my YouTube channel to pretend it's not dead lol. I will slightly edit and speed it up even more first.

One note though: the end of the video has weird moments of flashing white frames. I was aware that things like that might happen. But still, that's a bit odd. I will have to figure out how to deal with that issue... Because I don't want to have to slap an epilepsy warning in the beginning of the video 😱😅

Ok, wait, there's one more thing I wanted to ponder on before bidding farewell for a week (or two, or a month, how it often happens to me, lol). And it's kind of a... dreamy thing, with a twist of nostalgia and an off-beat bitter-sweet Traurigkeit involved.

Last year I was very upset about one thing. Sometime in Summer, in 2023, it was an 18-year-old anniversary of my very first set of original characters - Jade, Stu, and Alan. These three people were and still are very important to me. And of course, some of you still remember the abundance of the artworks featuring those individuals that I used to post frequently on my DeviantArt gallery. And of course, those of you who have read Chapter 2 of "Time & Again" remember the tiny and short - and rather questionable 😅 - cameo of the three on the background in one scene. I wanted to draw a celebratory portrait of the trio as a little gift to them, and to myself (for personal happiness). I even had a perfect idea for a little hilarious artwork with a cake. But then something happened (most likely, Chapter 4 of "Time & Again" happened, but I don't remember for sure anymore without my devlog notes, and they're in the living room, and I'm far too lazy to reach out to get them right now 🤣), and I simply forgot about my idea. I only remembered about it long due, sometime in mid Fall or even closer to Winter. I was very upset with myself. 18 years is A LOT, let me tell you. That's for how long I've lived with these characters, polishing them, growing them, nurturing them with numerous traits; they have been undergoing an enormous amount of changes in their personalities, backgrounds, personal history, etc. In short: everything that every single one of us is going through their lifetime, in the real life. In this respect, Stu, Alan and Jade are not much different from any of us. They're even fully "legal", LOL. It might look to some that they're obsolete - but that is far from the truth. I still have grand plans for them. They will take part in my future art endeavours 😉 The story of Alan, Stu and Jade has been rewritten numerous times - but it is most certainly still not complete. Doing an incredibly simple, possibly pre-school level math, we can easily deduce that in 2025 the three are gonna reach their 20-year-old milestone. And that's a long, long time.

Since I screwed up the little celebration big time in 2023 😫, and 20-year-old is a good milestone as well, I really want to put an effort into drawing a lovely artwork of the three next Summer. That is überimportant. That must happen. Yes, as you can see, Lothar and Jeanny are significantly younger than the dorky trio. Lothar and Jeanny probably think the other three are elderly people, LOL. Well... there's surely something entertaining that has to be portrayed on the milestone artwork next year. I'm looking forward to it 😁

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, August 3rd, 2023.

(From Thursday's trip to the Mountain Park.) 1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week? I was at the animal shelter from 7am-11am. Then I came home, took a shower, had lunch while taking a survey, scrambled to do some catch-up housecleaning (cleaned the upstairs bathroom, wiped down the kitchen counters, cleaned out the microwave, swept, mopped the kitchen and hallway floors, and vacuumed the rug under the kitchen table as well as the carpet in the family room), and now I'm here, trying to fit in another quick survey before snack time. Oh, and no, it's not typical for me to be at the shelter on Saturdays, but due everything going on lately, I'm there from Fri-Tues with Wed and Thurs off.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hours sleep do you consider a decent amount? It was fairly decent, but I was still pretty tired when I woke up. I felt better and more energized as the day progressed, though. I tend to need at least 7-8 hours of solid sleep in order to function. I can go maybe a night or two on less, but then my body will retaliate.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves? Lol, when my dad tries to talk to me when I have the water running or some other loud thing is going on (like the dishwasher is running, etc). It's not the fact that he's talking to me; it's the fact that I can't hear him, and he just will not raise his voice to be heard over whatever-it-is. I typically have to tell him to wait until I'm finished so I can actually hear him.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together? Leslie and Iris (management at the animal shelter). They said goodbye to me as I was leaving and Leslie thanked me for rolling with all the recent changes. As I mentioned in the last survey, Alex and Cassie are leaving cattery (Alex at the end of August and Cassie in two weeks), which leaves just Diane in the mornings five days a week, Kristen who is a relatively new hire two full days a week, and me (3 full days + 2 half days). They've basically got at least two full time positions to fill and maybe one more to be truly well-staffed and comfortable. But yeah, Leslie said, "I hope you're staying…" and I was like, "Yeah, I'm gonna be around forever." There's the dysfunction you're born into and then there's the dysfunction you choose, and the animal shelter is definitely the dysfunction I've chosen. You couldn't chase me away from that place.

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? Cold.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful? Waterproofs…? Like a parka or jacket or whatever…? I think I have something for backpacking, but I haven't used it for years.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Not really. Just catching up on some trash YouTube, kitty chores, and spending some time with my dad.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home? I give myself a buzz cut every 2-3 months. I was already cutting it myself prior to covid, so that wasn't an issue.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? Black pants, black t-shirt, blue animal shelter t-shirt. It is different to what I'm wearing now. I've got on dark blue sweatpants and another (surprise, surprise) long-sleeve animal shelter shirt. It says "Love is a rescue cat."

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains? How about a relaxing holiday in the mountains? I just want to sit on a rock in the woods and be a lump for a while.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie? No.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home? I'm not sure. Sometime in elementary school. I don't recall being bothered by homesickness too much.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? Never.

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine? Yeah. On animal shelter days (depending on the day + who gets there the earliest), I wake up somewhere around 5:30am-5:45am. Take a shower, brush my teeth, make my usual oatmeal concoction for breakfast, watch something on YouTube or read various comment sections, gather the rest of my things, pack a lunch if I'm staying all day, then sit and talk with my dad until it's time to leave, which is usually somewhere around 6:35am-6:45am.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears? Yeah. The Friday before last. They were sad, frustrated, lonely, defeated tears, but they were relatively short-lived. I try not to dwell on those moments and just keep pushing forward.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey? Snack and catching up on some ALR BS, lmao.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? I can't remember the last time I actually cooked something. I had a chicken salad for lunch earlier, though.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows? Yeah. I'm fine with it plain, but adding extra stuff is fun too.

19 - What caused your last injury? I don't recall my last injury. I don't think random bumps, bruises, and cat scratches count.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them? Several tattoos, two lip piercings. None of them have an interesting story.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you? Cliche, I know, but probably roses or cherry blossoms. Also wildflowers, but no particular type. Just a blossoming field full of them. I don't remember the last time anyone bought…oh wait, never mind, I did receive a sunflower bouquet at the volunteer appreciation dinner back in April.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? Idk.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetizer) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? Dessert. I could probably manage three courses, but...ugh. I prefer to eat smaller meals throughout the day. Going out to eat throws that all off.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all? Lol, my dad. If it wasn't for him, then I would consume almost no news at all.

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? My dad and I both had covid back in Feb/March of 2023. As far as I know, my mom hasn't had it.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider? I'm not, and no, it's not something I would consider.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? Probably rice, but I enjoy both.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you? I guess the shirt was technically a gift. I got it at the volunteer dinner I mentioned above. I was going to buy it, but Leslie was like, just take it. :')

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment? White, peach, and teal.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed? Yeah, I threw in a load earlier.

[canmom]

Animation Night 151: Modest and Immodest Short Films

Ahoy my friends! The hour is late, but not so late that we can’t watch a few films...

So. Lackadaisy huh.

I feel like you need to be in a somewhat specific age bracket of internet old to feel like that’s immensely significant. You need to be a webcomics bitch, basically. But from quite a specific era: the decade or so window between when webcomics looked like newspaper comics, and before the present era of webtoons. The Webcomics Review narrativises it as people who went to art school arriving on the scene in the mid-2000s, and that seems accurate enough. And of that crop, Lackadaisy Cats was certainly one of the biggest!

The concept is pretty straightforward. It’s a Prohibition-era crime drama set at a speakeasy that’s seen better days... and also everyone is an anthropomorphic cat. It was the beginning of the furry boom (Digger was a contemporary). But mostly... Tracy J. Butler could really fucking draw. You could say things like: clean, expressive designs with a lot of texture and depth and strong composition. (Not surprisingly, she’d worked in animation before drawing the comic.)

And compared to other comics whose selling point was the art such as The Meek and Dresden Codak, it also updated (if I’m remembering right) fairly consistently. It had archetypal characters, a very clearly defined aesthetic, and, compared to many webcomics of its era, a clear, accessible story. In short it read like a pro comic.

So it was natural for it to pick up steam.

Now, at some point I kind of stopped keeping up with most of the webcomics I read back then. Sure, some of them stopped updating, but others kept on going, sustained on merch and later, Patreon type sites. In that time, the standard of art in the scene went way up, the number of comics became so huge that there was no longer really a ‘shared context’ of webcomic readers, and manga scans and webtoons arrived in force. It is now almost impossible to build a new following with a webcomic, but you can do pretty well for yourself if you got in at the start.

Well, in the last few years a new phenomenon has developed out of that whole webcomic scene: the crowdfunded independent animated film. I wrote about this a bit back on Animation Night 117, with the biggest example being Vivziepop‘s works like Hazbin Hotel. In 2000, Lackadaisy joined in, running a kickstarter for an art book and maybe a short film if it did well. You can guess the rest of that story.

These films sit at an odd scale between ‘independent’ and ‘studio’. If you look at the credits of Lackadaisy, you’ll see a small army of animators and cleanup artists to exceed most TV productions (apparently the staff number in the 170s in total). The calls they put out for animators were demanding. And the lavish effort certainly shows! The makers of Lackadaisy set their sights on full animation, on-model, cleaned up and with an ambitious drawing count. Every scene is full of movement and acting. (There’s actually an interesting stylistic choice where construction lines are left in the final composite on many scenes.)

But in many other ways it was very unlike a studio production. One of the animators who worked on the short, Manu Mercurial, has put out a little making-of retrospective, which is pretty light on detail, but still gives some info. Since the production took place during the pandemic, it was completely organised over Discord, with animators posting WIPs and receiving feedback in full view of everyone else, and a director receptive to animators adding their own spins to shots. This apparently led to an atmosphere of friendly competition that was beneficial to the film as a whole.

Mercurial is full of praise for the film’s director Fable Siegel, who seems to have been the major organising force behind making this be an impressive, finished short film instead of just a bunch of artists hanging out in Discord. At least going off IMDB credits,  Siegel seems to have come to The Industry by way of participating in ‘Reanimated’ collabs on Youtube, before getting jobs on Hazbin and also Pendleton Ward’s experimental post-Adventure Time series The Midnight Gospel. (Right now their Twitter is a huge wall of Lackadaisy process shots if you’re curious.) Here’s an interview (by Toon Boom, so one of the questions is blatantly slanted to sell Toon Boom, but the rest is pretty interesting.)

The short film is presented as a pilot, and that is indeed how it plays out: a tour of all the major characters and dynamics of the comic/show, with a car chase, a set piece battle in a quarry, and a final wind down scene in the speakeasy itself which sets up the broader plot. It’s unquestionably very well executed. I’m certain it’s going to get a good few million views in the next few days alone, and maybe it will lead to a series. (Will it surpass Hazbin?). It’s got electro-swing, of course. SungWon Cho (ProzD) is in it, of course.

All the same... I wish it was weirder. Like something about Lackadaisy always feels like it’s playing it safe. It’s fun, it’s goofy, it’s charming... and that’s where it stops! For all that the creators like to talk about how we’re on the cusp of adult animation really taking off in America, the moonshine, and strangely ineffective guns, don’t really change the tone from the more mainstream animation. Bah humbug, etc.

Still, it’s unquestionably an extremely impressive work of animation and a sign of the way things are changing. I expect with all the animation studios laying off staff left right and centre, we’ll start to see a lot more like this.

That’s our first act! For our second...

Ian Hubert returns! I wrote briefly about him back on Animation Night 78. Hubert’s thing is compositing human actors into elaborate cyberpunk environments using Blender; his channel is full of ingenious tricks for creating impressive looking shots and effects with minimal geometry. What makes it work is Hubert’s eye for lighting and composition, knowing just where to place detail to sell a shot and what’s unnecessary for the camera.

The first episode of Dynamo Dream - which we’ll rewatch! - introduced us to a plant selling girl in some sorta cyberpunk megacity. After inadvertently saving out the weird cyborg landlord that runs her apartment, she gets a favour, which she calls on to contact her faraway boyfriend using a kind of missile launched phone terminal I guess? He invites her to come out and join him, but weird shit starts happening on the train. I haven’t watched this yet but I’m sure it’s going to deliver some fascinating visuals.

And then...

Modest Heroes is a collection of three short films by Studio Ponoc, a studio which spun out of Studio Ghibli. In the mid 2000s, the period that Ghibli could enjoy an exceptional state of employing lot of full-time salaried staff (instead of per project freelancers) was coming to an end. In 2014 it seemed they were on the verge of shutting down altogether. Yoshiaki Nishimura, lead producer of many of Ghibli’s films in the 2000s era (Howl - When Marnie Was There), left the studio in 2015, bringing in a bunch of ex-Ghibli animators under a new studio called Ponoc.

Their first film, Mary and the Witch’s Flower, apparently found it hard to define an identity beyond the shadow of Miyazaki (I haven’t seen it!), but things got a lot more exciting with their second. Modest Heroes is a collection of three short films, showing off a variety of ingenious approaches to animation. (It was originally planned to be four, but then Isao Takahata went and died while planning the segment on the theme of ‘death’... oof.) The writers of Animation Obsessive are big fans, and they’ve written two detailed, enthusiastic articles on two of the shorts in the collection.

Invisible, directed Akihiko Yamashita, is a take on the invisible man concept. Since the invisible man is, well, you know..., his entire existence must be communicated through interactions with objects and clothes. Yamashita hoped to communicate feelings and interior life. His invisibility is a metaphor for social invisibility, and thus it comes combined with other metaphors, such as weightlessness.

The idea came from Nishimura, who thought it was a worthy subject for an ‘animation genius’ such as Yamashita. Nishimura wanted the film to bring a kind of inventiveness that he felt was missing from the overly conservative contemporary anime. Yamashita, after leaving Ghibli, attempted to get by in the regular anime industry and found it unbearably strained. He returned to the fold to work on Boro the Caterpillar with Miyazaki, and this convinced him to follow Yamashita over to Ponoc.

The result is something gorgeous, with its emotional drama playing out against grimy desaturated backgrounds that are perhaps closer to something like Tekkonkinkreet than the Ghibli nature scene. Yamashita named quite a specific palate of inspirations...

As reference, Yamashita drew from Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men and Gravity, the films of Alejandro González Iñárritu and the manga of Junji Ito, among others. They contributed to the dark, unusual vibe and look of Invisible.

I’ve been wanting to watch this film for ages, here’s our chance!

Alongside that comes Yoshiyuki Momose’s film Samurai Egg (here’s the aniobsessive link again). Momose, the ‘right-hand man’ of Takahata, was one of the guys he leaned on to actually draw the storyboards of films like Grave of the Fireflies.

In contrast to the elaborate visual metaphor of Invisible, Samurai Egg is a very grounded film about a kid with a severe egg allergy. Takahata is famed as a realist, although a different sort than people like Okiura and Inoue who bring incredibly meticulous detail and well-observed acting to sci-fi scenarios. Certainly, Takahata would make films about ghosts and mythology, but he’d also make films like Only Yesterday that are much quieter, everyday dramas.

Despite sharing the everyday focus of, this film veers away from it into more expressionistic techniques, bringing in softer pencil effects to the anime cels, as well as techniques like 3DCG-rotoscoping. There’s a dance scene where Shinji Hashimoto gets to go nuts with shapes a la Ryan Woodward.

Momose took some pains to avoid being too sentimental with it; AniObsessive quote Nishimura in Animation Magazine:

When you make a film about a parent and a child, it’s easy to fall into the trap of showing a “heartwarming” relationship, and creating a cheap-feeling structure. We wanted to avoid that.

The film is pre-recorded - like Grave of the Fireflies, actually. (It’s the norm in the West, but rare in anime.) There’s some interesting linguistic nuance there:

It was necessary because Oko’s role called for something special. In a detail that’s lost on foreigners, Shun’s mom uses the Kishiwada dialect, which “sounds harsh, but you can feel the love behind it,” Momose said. It’s a cruder, shorter form of Japanese. They used it partly to fit more information into Samurai Egg’s 16-minute runtime, and partly to reveal the relationship she has with Shun. He’s a Tokyo kid — he speaks differently.

As for the third film...

Kanini & Kanino takes us underwater for a pair of kids who live on a coral reef. Alas, I don’t have a detailed article on the making-of and influences on this one, but I can tell you that the director Hiromasa Yonebayishi, aka Maro, is behind it - best known as the director of The Secret World of Arriety, When Marnie Was There, and Ponoc’s first film Mary and the Witch’s Flower. Notably the dialogue for this short is all in ‘crab language’ - are these kids anthro crabs? In fact, yes, it would appear they are anthropomorphic crabs. Sick. Whether they will attend a rave I can’t say, but the internet reliably informs me that is the primary activity of crabs, so probably.

I think that’s enough to be going with! Apologies it’s so late - I had to spend most of today reinventing Canabalt. But I succeeded, so I think I’ve gotten a lot better at this whole game dev thing. Let’s go enjoy some short films!

Animation Night will be going live now at twitch.tv/canmom, films to begin in maybe 15 minutes.

[wandaromanova]

Fun Guns

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, mention of sex, mentions of needles, blood

A/N: hello! i’m obviously not in the medical field, so everything described, i got from google haha. hope y’all enjoy! happy reading <3

anon requested: nat got shot in the arm during the mission so doc!r (her gf and has a strict and serious personality) has do the operation but the thing is nat keeps flirting and flexing her muscles even she's bleeding

Summary: Y/N helps her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, with an injury.

Word Count: 1.1K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

You looked up from the paper in your hand at the sound of commotion.

You got up from your stool and made your way over to the door. However, before you could make it there, it swung open and your girlfriend, Natasha, walked in with Steve and Tony trailing behind her.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the redhead clutching her left arm, blood pouring from beneath it.

“Hi, baby. I got shot in the arm and I need you to patch me up.” Natasha spoke so casually that you didn’t even register what she said at first. When you did, you stared at her like she had grown two heads.

You gave Steve a look and he nodded, grabbing Natasha’s other arm and walking her over to the medical table. You went over to a counter and placed on some gloves.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha was laid out on the table and you nodded to the two men in the room.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I can handle it from here. Did you guys need any help too?” Tony and Steve shook their heads.

“No, nothing some Tylenol can’t help.” Steve joked and you let out a small chuckle at that.

You watched as the two Avengers exited the room, leaving you alone with your girlfriend.

“I need to take your shirt off.” Natasha raised her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her and carefully helped her out of the material.

“I mean I don’t think having sex while I’m bleeding is a good idea, but I’m not against it.”

You softly grasped her arm and examined the injury, ignoring her flirting. The bullet wasn’t deep and there was no exit wound.

All you had to do was take the bullet out and close up the hole in her arm. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious.

You turned around and walked over to some shelves and drawers, retrieving the proper tools you’d need to extract the bullet and stitch up her arm.

You dragged your stool beside the bed and Natasha sent you a flirtatious smile.

“Doc, I think I’m hurt somewhere else, too.” Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it onto her abdomen, flexing her muscles.

You sent her a serious look and tore your hand out of her grip. You couldn’t believe she was flirting with you while she was literally bleeding.

“This is serious, Natasha. You’re lucky the bullet is in your arm and not somewhere fatal.”

You scolded your girlfriend, taking a needle and inserting it into her skin. It was an anesthetic that would numb the area, so Natasha wouldn’t feel a thing.

She was going to need it if you were going to shove some tweezers into her arm then stitch her skin back together.

“I’m fine, honey. You know I’ll always make it back to my favorite milf.”

You rolled your eyes at the title. Yeah, you had a five-year-old daughter. You were slightly older than Natasha.

She was 37 and you were 41. It was only a four-year gap, but Natasha never failed to tease you for the age difference.

You quickly went to work after a few minutes, just to be sure that the lidocaine had run its course.

You feared that the bullet would be hard to find, but luckily, it wasn’t. You had found it fairly easily and took it out, placing it onto a bedpan beside you.

Natasha was completely unfazed by the entire thing. This wasn’t her first time getting a bullet extracted. She was just completely entranced by you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was basically gawking at you as you worked.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha admired the way your eyebrows would scrunch up in concentration, your tongue poking through your teeth as you tried to keep your hand steady.

Also, she absolutely loved how good you were at what you did. You were the best doctor in New York, which is why you were hired to work for the Avengers.

They definitely needed the best they could get considering the massive battles they always find themselves in.

Natasha had pursued you for quite a while, but you never exactly gave in. You were a professional and you knew that having a romantic relationship with a patient wasn’t right.

But she was Natasha fucking Romanoff; no one could resist her. So, eventually, after months of the redhead’s persistency, you had agreed to a date with the redhead and the rest was history.

“You almost done, doc?” Natasha asked as you placed the last few stitches into her arm. You snipped off the excess suture.

“I just finished. You know the drill, don’t move your arm around too much. You need to come back in a week or so to get them removed.”

You gave Natasha instructions as you cleaned up after yourself. However, the redhead extended her arm slowly, grabbing your wrist in her hand.

“Thank you, milfy.” You let out a small laugh at her words and Natasha smiled at the sound.

“You’re welcome, foxy.” You uttered the nickname that Natasha absolutely hated.

One day in the earlier stages of your relationship, you had referred to Natasha as a fox, her red hair reminding you of the animal.

The Russian absolutely hated it and practically fought you every time you’d call her by that name.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re suddenly not my favorite milf anymore.” Natasha mumbled, letting go of your wrist, allowing you to throw away the remaining trash.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh yeah? And who is your favorite milf now?” You teasingly asked, going to sit by her side once more.

“Wanda.” You let out a full-hearted laugh at her response. You shook your head frantically.

“Well, I don’t blame you. She’s my favorite milf too.” Natasha sent you a glare. You sharply raised your eyebrow at her.

“Don’t give me that look! You mentioned Wanda first!” Natasha pouted and you leaned forward, giving her a quick peck.

When you moved back, a wide smile was now spread across the assassin’s face.

“Seriously though, you need to be more careful. I know you have me to help you out, but that doesn’t mean you need to get hurt all the time.”

You frowned and Natasha stared into your eyes softly, her green irises shining with love.

“I promise I’ll be more careful, but you gotta admit that it’s fun being able to see these guns. Come on, admit it, it’s fun.”

Natasha flexed her good arm, showing off her toned muscles. She also clenched her stomach, accentuating her abs.

You let out a dramatic sigh, placing your hand on top of her stomach.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s fun to see those guns.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“See! I knew it. I knew you liked them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[its-short-for-jackalope]

greetings! i have made a thing! ✨️two✨️ things!

✨️ sketchboooooooooooks! ✨️

it took longer than anticipated (I've been trying to get this done since the end of last year, oops) but I finally finished putting these together today. all that's left to do is decorate the covers and start drawing in 'em!

they are slightly–moderately wonky and pretty clearly handmade, but I love them. gives em charm. these are only the second and third books I've made myself so I'm still learning.

if you're interested I'll drop a few more photos and babble a little about the process under the cut! (definitely not a tutorial if that's what you're hoping for lol i was winging it the whole time)

okay so we'll start with the little guy. this is meant to be more of a travel sketchbook.

I wanted something fairly small that I could take on the go without it being too much of a hassle, because I'm also hoping to get out more and like... go for walks to the park or the cemetery or w/e and try doing some studies and life drawing and such. or just get some fresh air and doodle while I make a valiant attempt to get some vitamin D.

THE PROCESS

both sketchbooks are made out of materials I just had lying around, but this one is even more "recycled" lmao

i took the inside pages from an old sketchbook, and about half of them had previously been used, so I went and erased my old sketches as much as I could (they were bad and low effort, so it's no loss I assure you) and that was a boring and frustrating endeavor but it was worth it because, well, I get to use the paper again! I did a very poor job the first time around, I almost never drew on both sides of the page and so many pages were just one shitty sketch and nothing else 🙈

i sorted the pages into signatures (tried to mix up the used and new paper because it'd annoy me if I had just like one big chunk of ghost drawings and then the rest of the book was good and clean lol) and stitched those together and then put just a couple layers of glue on the spine to hold it together.

I made the cover by gluing two pieces of thin cardboard together for each part (front cover, back cover, spine) to make em sturdier, and then I trimmed them down to size and glued the pieces to a paper shopping bag. I didn't have the patience to try flattening the cover under a heavy book or anything, so it's a little warped and will kind of open up on its own so I'm just using the binder clip to hold it closed. plus idk it looks cool!

once the cover was done and dry I just... glued it all together! added the end pages i cut out of construction paper to the.. chunk of book? the book brick? (is there a technical word for it when the signatures are all together....?) and then glued the other sides of the end pages to the inside covers.

now for the second book! the big boy!

this fella was intended to be the grand, improved follow-up to the first sketchbook I put together, and I started working on it right when said first book started running out of paper.

this one is the wonkier of the two but I think it's definitely a few steps up from the original, and I'm pleased with it. this is gonna be my everyday sketchbook, so I wanted it to have a ton of pages so I can use it for a good long while. I think it's at least twice as thick as my first sketchbook. 😂

THE PROCESS

...basically the same as the travel sketchbook, just bigger! the pages are sourced from a different sketchbook, one I started using in high school and promptly forgot about upon graduation.

fun fact: the end pages are covered in countless tiny little hatch lines that i drew by hand while I watched/listened to something on my computer. I don't quite remember what I was watching at this point, but it was almost certainly something from Starkid... probably VHSCC on repeat, since I did this part back in november/december. it might sound tedious but I shit you not I was thrilled to do this part and it was just a blissful neurodivergent turn the brain off and vibe kind of time.

the biggest difference in this process was doing the cover; it's not cardboard, it's some kind of particle board.. thing that was salvaged from the back of a busted picture frame. it is VERY stiff and sturdy and I did not cut the pieces out so much as score the board with my box cutter as deeply as I could, bend it back and forth, and pray it didn't break. 😅 the cover-cover is from the same bag I used on the smaller book!

most of the wonkiness comes from the fact that the cover is sliiiiiiiightly too small for the book brick inside. I had limited material for the cover so I couldn't stretch that at all, I made the cover as big as I possibly could, but I also did not feel like trimming the inside pages so that they would fit better because that would have taken FOREVER and also probably killed me. 😫 soooo the pages stick out a little bit, but that's fine and it doesn't bother me much. 🤷🏻‍♂️

and that's my two sketchbooks! finished em both up over 3 days after procrastinating for at least a month. and now that they exist I can finally draw again!!! been wanting to do that for WEEKS.

if you read all of this I hope you got something out of it, lol. whether you did or didnt, here's a skull for your troubles.

😊🤲🏻💀

enjoy!! <3

[plus-size-reader]

Hack Job

Jerome Valeska x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2315 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Jerome comes back from the dead with his face stapled on and she needs to help him put it back

—————————————————————————————————

You were bored.

Gotham was the kind of city where you could never really know what to expect, and you had to be ready for anything. There was always something going on, or going wrong, but tonight, that didn’t seem to be the case.

It was an unusually quiet Friday night, with nothing of note happening, and really, you were glad for it.

Having nothing going on was better than having to deal with the truth.

Since Jerome was killed, nothing had the same gusto as before. You didn’t find anything exciting, or worthwhile and that didn’t seem to be changing anytime soon.

You missed him.

So, rather than think about anything else, you decided to keep doing what you’d been doing all this time. You were going to spend the rest of your life on your couch with a bucket of popcorn and shitty news coverage.

Shitty news coverage all about Jerome.

Evidently, the rest of the world was celebrating the death of the man you loved, even though you were more miserable than you had ever been. You didn’t want to do this whole thing without him.

Even tonight, which started out fairly normal, was dull and dreary.

You had a pint of your favorite ice cream and a spoon, as well as the newest episode of your favorite show, but you couldn't have cared at all.

Nothing was going to make you feel better.

Unfortunately though before you could feel too bad for yourself, all that had to be put on hold when the doorbell of your apartment went off, echoing through the small space like the abrasive chiming of church bells.

“Coming” you groaned, standing from your couch with a groan, leaving the old blanket you had been cuddled up with in your place. You were desperately hoping they would just go away.

You weren’t in the mood for any company but you knew that whoever it was would just keep knocking. In this city, you were painfully aware of everyone who lived around here and they all sucked.

They wouldn’t go away.

...But it wasn’t like something terrible was going to happen.

You had no idea who could be visiting at this hour, but you doubted anyone would try to pull anything on you.

Everyone knew you as Jerome Valeska’s girlfriend so they didn’t dare inflict the wrath of his killer cult, who basically worshiped you as a goddess, even now.

The fact that Jerome was gone wasn’t going to change the way they felt about him, or how they felt about you by proximity. As long as you were alive, everything that Jerome had believed in was alive.

That was all they needed.

However, the moment the door swung open, you knew your ice cream would be long forgotten, left to melt without a doubt. 

After all, the last thing you expected to see on a Friday night was your dead boyfriend but in Gotham you had to be ready for anything.

“Jerome?”

The word came out as a single gasp from the back of your throat, your jaw slack as you tried to collect yourself. All that did, of course, was cause hot tears to spill from your eyes and down your cheeks.

It was weird.

You had never been super emotional, in all your life, but for some reason, this was really getting to you. You couldn’t handle the rush of emotion that hit you as you tried to fathom a million things at once.

Jerome was dead.

You had seen him die, and the coverage of his murder was all over the news. It wasn’t like you’d imagined the whole thing, or forgotten to take your medicine again.

It was real.

Though, before you could get too worked up in that, you pulled Jerome into your body as tightly as you could. You didn’t want him to disappear again, even if you couldn’t figure out how this happened.

It didn’t really matter as long as he wasn’t going anywhere.

You sighed, taking in his scent as deeply as you could just to make sure that he was really here. 

He smelled faintly like formaldehyde but buried beneath all that was his calming scent that a few moments ago, you would have killed to smell again.

Somehow, you’d managed to forget just how much it meant to you.

“Are you real?” you whispered into the crease of his neck. You were no stranger to the odd hallucination in the past, but this was much more than that.

Hallucinating Jerome like this would be far too cruel to handle.

“Course I am” he grinned, pulling you closer before letting go completely, heading inside the apartment as if he owned it, which technically he did. After all, you’d bought it with the money he’d stolen.

The scene that Jerome walked into was hilarious, it was as if he hadn’t even left and you had been waiting for him to return.

The blanket you had been cuddling with was the only thing that was out of place, it had come from his closet, not from your shared bed.

He picked it up and looked back at you in questioning with a smirk dressing his lips. “It smelled like you” you level, shrugging and making your way over to him, before crashing down next to his body on the couch.

It was just like it always was, like it should have been all along.

You let yourself melt into his chest as you crawled into his lap, letting him wrap the before-mentioned blanket around you both as you moved closer.

...but there was one thing that you’d yet to address, and one thing that you needed to talk about.

Jerome wasn’t completely the same as you remembered because as you snuggled into him and let your fingers dance over the skin of his jaw, you were met with the cold chill of metal.

That was certainly new.

You pulled your hand away quickly and looked up at him in shock “What was that?” you whisper, keeping your voice low so as to not disturb the peace. You still hadn’t gotten any answers as to what was happening, but you certainly should have noticed that.

In the dark, it must have skipped your mind. You hadn’t noticed, but now that you had, it was kind of hard to go back to cuddling as if everything was fine.

It definitely wasn’t.

Apparently, Jerome's had his face stolen and as best you could tell, had attempted to reattach it with a staple gun.

“Oh no J, what did you do?” you whined, naturally concerned that he’d made some kind of half-cocked choice that was going to hurt him. He was prone to irrational solutions and you were worried.

There was silence between the two of you for a moment or so as you thought about what you were going to do before you stood from the warm cocoon you’d created on the couch completely.

You had to do something about this.

“How did this happen?” you muttered, taking his hands in your own to lead him to the table where you could get a better look at him. You didn’t really want an answer from him, of course.

It was just more of that nervous prattling you tended to get up to when you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“I did the best I could with what I had” he shrugged, as if there was nothing wrong with the way he had chosen to attach his face. In his mind, he didn’t think that he could have done any better but you knew differently.

It looked like a mess.

“You might as well have super glued it” you teased, sitting him down and getting to work looking him over. It was an absolute chaotic solution to what had happened, and frankly, you weren’t even a tad bit shocked.

The edges of his skin, held together with a few thick staples, were jagged and ridiculous.

“Careful princess, I didn’t exactly have you around to put it back on for me” he chides, admiring your concentration as you studied him. Your tongue peeked out between your lips as you did your best to pick at the staples without hurting him.

They had to come out.

Anything was better than having rusty metal holding your lover’s face on, and you were sure it wasn’t comfortable. As unpleasant as it was to look at, you could only imagine it felt that much worse.

“Stop me if I’m hurting you” you suggested, knowing fully that he wouldn’t. No matter what he was feeling, he was never going to admit that he was hurting. He was never going to do that, not ever.

Instead, all you could do was smile as you looked him in the eye, continuing to pluck at the metal in his face.

“I missed you” Jerome hummed, moving on completely from what you’d been talking about. He didn’t care about if his face hurt or about the fact that he was literally back from the dead.

Nothing mattered to him any more than you did.

“I missed you too” you whispered, taking in the predatory look in his eyes as he looked at you. You found yourself admittedly taken aback by that because you hadn’t seen that look in almost a year.

You really had.

Jerome was your greatest friend, and the love of your life. Having to live life without him for so long was awful, and you never wanted to do it again.

If you could help it, he would stay by your side forever.

“Y/N” he sighed, catching you off guard. Jerome very rarely used your real name so at first you were concerned you had hurt him, or that something was wrong. 

However, all he really wanted was for you to give him the attention he’d been craving.

You were trying desperately to get his face cleaned up but he was already bored of that. So bored, in fact, that he slid his hands under your ample thighs to pull you into his lap, earning a heavy sigh from you.

This was going to take forever.

“Jerome” you scoffed, doing your very best to get away from his hold so that you could finish up here, but he wasn’t having any of it. In fact, the more you struggled against his hold, the more Jerome laughed.

This was one big game for him.

“I have to get you cleaned up J, you need to let me” you grumbled, doing everything that you could to figure this out. You were well aware of how difficult he could be but this was serious.

He could really run into trouble with this.

“But that’s no fun at all” he huffed, pressing a kiss to your face as gingerly as he could. It had been too long since he’d been able to hold you and right now, the last thing he wanted to do was wait for anything.

Especially not for you to sew his face back on.

Without hesitation, you stood from his lap and headed over to the medicine cabinet before he could argue with you over it. 

He wasn’t happy about it, of course, which you could tell because of the hefty slap on your ass as you did so.

Thankfully though, you didn’t have to care about that because you had a job to do right now and it was far more important than whatever he wanted to do. You had plenty of time to spend together now that he was back.

You didn’t exactly have any experience reattaching faces but you knew anything you could do would be better than the hack job he was currently walking around with.

At least if you took over, it would be clean.

After quite a bit of going back and forth, you decided that a spool of thread and a sharp, disinfected needle was going to be your best option. 

You practically soaked everything in 95% pure alcohol, and if it wasn’t clean, not was.

The last thing you wanted was for Jerome to be walking around with a painful, infected face, so you let the needle disinfect for a little longer just in case.

Once you felt it was good enough, you headed back over to the table where Jerome was now pretending to be dead against the hardwood, always the drama queen.

“Get up you goofball” you ordered, playfully smacking his shoulder with the back of your hand before setting everything you had gathered down in a huge pile.

You weren’t looking forward to doing this but it had to be done and you couldn’t exactly take him to urgent care to get it done.  After all, the man you loved was still a wanted criminal, even though some people didn’t know he was alive.

“Okay J, this might sting a little” you sigh, biting into the plump flesh of your bottom lip to stifle your own nerves.

Jerome wondered if maybe you were more bothered by this than he was, but he thought it was cute so he said nothing regarding it.

“That’s okay kitten, I’ve got something to hold onto” he smirks, grabbing onto you before you could even ask what he meant. 

Jerome Valeska was always a terrible flirt but considering you hadn’t seen each other in nearly a year on top of that, you couldn’t imagine how bad he was going to get.

It wasn’t until you felt his hands snake around your waist that you understood the meaning of his words, your suspicions were confirmed when he took two big handfuls of your jean wrapped ass and kneaded the flesh through the fabric.

This was definitely not how you thought your night was going to go this morning, but at least he was alive.

[queenshelby]

Just Friends - Cillian Murphy Imagine

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: SMUT

Words: 5034

Foreword:

I have never written anything for an actual person. For my own comfort, I will not be referring to Cillian’s actual family and, instead, I have created two small biographies for the Reader and Cillian.

Biography:

The Reader:

The Reader is 24 years old and recently moved to Dublin with her 5 year old son, Max in order to take up a fantastic job offer.

Max’s father isn’t interested in a relationship with his son and separated from the Reader pretty much as soon as she found out that she was pregnant. 

The Reader is a novelist and editor for the Irish Times. 

The Reader’s interests include books, listening to records, theatre and attending live music gigs. 

The Reader has a close relationship with her grandmother who is 65 years old and a writer herself. She also lives in Dublin with her second husband, who is originally from Galway.

 Cillian: 

Cillian is 42 years old in this story. He is divorced from his wife Siobhan and has two kids, Charlie (6) and Hendricks (8).

He lives in a town house in Dublin and shares custody.

In this story, he finished filming Season 4 of Peaky Blinders about three months ago, which is when the Reader first met him.

---------------------------

JUST FRIENDS

Three and a half months ago you moved to Dublin to take a position as editor at the Irish Times. Initially, the move was daunting to you as you were a single mother and moving your son to a different preschool concerned you.

Fortunately, your grandmother was living in Dublin as well and offered to help you with looking after your son, Max. She was a retired novelist herself and you always had a close relationship with her. Having her around was a blessing.

Over the years, you also met some Irish writers and established good relationships with them. Therefore, finding friends in Dublin was not an issue.

One of your best friends was a play writer from London and was working in Ireland at the time, promoting her theatre play called ‘Blessings’. She introduced you to a bunch of people, most of which were working in the entertainment industry in some way or another.

Whilst all of your new found friends were a fair bit older than you, you related to them. You had interests in common and most of them had children, just like you. They understood that sometimes plans had to be cancelled and flexibility was limited. Having children is a commitment which many of your younger friends didn’t understand. You weren’t interested in late nights because a young child meant early mornings. For this reason, you would much rather attend a dinner and board game night as a opposed to a night club.

And this is how you met a very interesting man named Cillian. Three months ago, your friend Orla invited you to a board game night with a couple of her friends. Cillian was pretty much the only other single person in attendance and, since this was a board game that had to be played in teams of two, you and Cillian were paired up with him.

He was funny and smart and very attractive. You had a good time that night and even won the game with your combined knowledge of random trivial facts.

He was a fun person to be around and you had several common interests.

Over the next few months, you spent a fair bit of time together, mostly with other friends but sometimes alone when your friends were doing things as couples with their partners.

Just recently, you went record shopping together and the weekend before last you and another friend of yours would take all of your kids to Dublin Zoo for the day. Your son Max developed a great friendship with Cillian’s youngest son Charlie. Playdates were a common occurrence.

While both of you separately explored the dating world, you really enjoyed Cillian’s company as a friend and he enjoyed yours and you would often chat about the mishaps you encountered and laugh about them. Dates gone wrong was one of your favourite topics.

The last relationship Cillian had was with a co-worker, which was far from ideal. They’ve met on set of one of his movies about a year after he divorced from his wife, but things didn’t go as planned and the relationship didn’t last. It ended about four months ago, being just one month before you met.

The last relationship you had was over a year ago and it also didn’t last as your boyfriend couldn’t deal with the fact that you were a single mum and that your son always came first.

For Valentines Day this year, your friends set up dates for each of you. It was disastrous. Neither of you were interested in committing at this point and you both were rather flustered about your friends’ efforts after you both had told them not to bother.

You were happy singles.

Theatre Night

As happy singles, you decided to go and see your friend’s new play ‘Blessings’ with some of your other friends on the night you all managed to be child free for once. It took a while to organise but was worth the effort.

‘Hi Max, how was preschool?’ Cillian asked as he opened the door to your townhouse for Cillian while you were in the bathroom, putting up your hair.

Max met Cillian numerous times and got along with him very well. After all, Cillian had a son the same age as Max.

‘Good. Do you want me to show you what I made?’ Max asked while you waived at Cillian from the bathroom.

‘Absolutely, show me’ Cillian said with a smile as he followed Max into the living room.

‘Look’ Max said as he held up two paintings.

‘Wow, is that a T-Rex?’ Cillian asked, causing Max to nod with excitement.

‘That’s very cool…he looks super scary’ Cillian added just as there was another knock on the door.

It was your grandmother who was here to pick up Max for his sleepover at her house.

You opened the door and asked Max to get his bag from the living room which you had packed for him earlier.

‘Nan, this is my friend Cillian’ you said as you introduced Cillian to your grandmother.

‘Hello Cillian, I am Margot. I loved Grief is a Thing with Feathers. It was such an intense play’ she said, knowing right away who he was despite the fact that you had never mentioned him to her before.

‘Thank you Margot and I loved By The Sea, it was a fantastic book’ Cillian responded. He read the book after you told him about your grandmother. Your writing style was very similar to hers and he always loved a good book.

‘Oh thank you very much. Now Max, are you ready?’ your grandmother asked.

Max was ready and you said goodbye, giving him a big hug and thanking your grandmother for looking after him for the night.

While Cillian waited in the living room, you finished your make up and slipped on your shoes.

‘Thank you for picking me up. I really have no idea where this place is’ you said as you grabbed your bag and the two of you were heading out of the door.

‘Any time Y/N, it isn’t far from here actually’ Cillian said.

As you were walking to the Arthouse Theatre you talked about all sorts of things, music, childcare and books.

It was a cold night in Dublin and you were probably underdressed for the occasion.

At the Arthouse Theatre you met up with another two friends of yours. They were both married, to each other, and shared three children. Luckily for them, they had a baby sitter that night.

The play was amazing and you all enjoyed it with a few glasses of wine which were served at the theatre. Cillian had good taste when it came to wine and you usually sought his guidance on what to order.

After you left the theatre, you felt awfully hungry. You hadn’t eaten dinner that night.

‘I am starving, is anyone else up for Pizza?’ you asked your three friends, including Cillian

‘We would love to, but only have a baby sitter until 9pm, sorry’ Amanda said, explaining that she and her husband had to head home fairly soon.

‘What about you Cilly?’ you asked.

‘I would love some Pizza, let’s go to Pizzinis’ he said.

Both you and Cillian said goodbye to your friends and made your way to Pizzinis.

As usual, it was packed and there were no table available.

‘Wanna grab them take away and go back to my place? I’ve got wine and you can show me this new album you were talking about earlier’ you said.

‘Sounds good, let’s do that’ Cillian said before ordering two pizzas.

More than Friends

You arrived at your apartment about 30 minutes later and Cillian put on some music. He found this new Irish band he liked and you were really keen to hear them.

‘Hmm Indie…I like it’ you said as he connected his i-phone to your speakers.

‘Wine?’ you asked as you grabbed a bottle of wine from the shelf.

‘Yes please and thanks’ Cillian said as he put the pizzas on the table.

‘I was meant to ask you, how was your Valentine’s date?’ Cillian asked before taking the first bite of the pizza.

‘Oh god, don’t remind me on it please’ you said with a laugh.

‘That good ey? What happened?’ Cillian laughed.

‘He was weird. He basically left after I told him about Max’ you responded.

‘I think that sometimes guys your age might be a bit freaked out by the fact that you have child. I can’t say that I blame them. I couldn’t imagine myself becoming a step father when I was in my 20s’ Cillian said.

‘He was 32’ you responded.

‘Well maybe he was just weird and you are just unlucky when it comes to dating’ Cillian laughed.

‘Yeah, maybe…I am just over dating’ you said…’What about your date?’ you asked.

‘Pretty average. I mean she was nice but had no sense of humour’ Cillian said.

‘Oh what, wait…she didn’t laugh at your Irish jokes?’ you laughed.

‘Outrageous I know. I mean how could she not?’ Cillian joked.

‘Here is to failed dates’ you said as you held up your wine glass for a toast.

‘To failed dates’ Cillian responded with smile.

Over the next hour or so, Cillian and you finished both pizzas and talked about books, including the book you were currently writing, music and embarrassing things your kids had done.

Quite music was playing in the background by then while you talked and laughed together until Cillian brought up a specific book he had read recently, written by a writer named J A Hanson, which he said reminded him on you in a way.

‘I have read all of her books and I really wish I could write romance as well as her’ you said.

‘Her books aren’t exactly romantic’ Cillian responded.

‘Her storylines aren’t romantic, but the character she uses in all of her books involves herself romantically with several other characters throughout the series. The way she writes makes you relate to the character even in these intimate moments’ you explained.

‘She is 60 and probably speaking from experience. I have read in a paper a few months back that she had quite an interesting and adventurous youth in the 70s and 80s’ Cillian said.

‘Free Love…Yeah, I have read this too’ you laughed. ‘Perhaps I just need some inspiration to get over my block, otherwise I will never finish this damn novel’ you said as you poured yourself some more wine.

‘You don’t have to answer this, but when was the last time that…?’ Cillian asked and, before he could finish his question, you interrupted him.

‘That I had sex? Gosh…well over a year ago’ you responded, causing Cillian’s chin to drop.

‘Over a year? Seriously? I mean, surely, a woman like you would get plenty of offers…’ Cillian said, not knowing what else to tell you.

‘A woman like me? What do you mean by that Cilly?’ you asked with a slight giggle.

‘Well, you are attractive, smart and funny. You would get a fair bit of interest’ Cillian responded.

‘So, you think I am attractive?’ you asked with a smirk, causing Cillian to choke slightly on his wine. He regretted what he had said almost instantly, causing awkwardness between you.

‘Well yeah, I think you are an attractive woman’ Cillian said quietly. ‘In a totally objective way of course’ he added, while, just in this moment, you observed his facial expressions.

You observed him drop his eyes to your lips as he said it, and then lower to the place where your shirt opens at the collar, the buttons undone to below your collarbone.

He pressed his lips together. ‘I think I should probably get go…’ he said, and, before he could finish his sentence, you leaned in and kissed him suddenly, like the peck you give a boy you like on the school bus the second before you jump up and get off – a brief bravery without a plan.

He was caught by surprise.

‘Y/N’ he said and, before he could say something else, you apologised to him for what just happened.

‘I am sorry Cilly, I don’t know what just came over me’ you said.

‘It’s alright, I shouldn’t have said what I said. It was inappropriate’ Cillian said.

But, with Cillian’s response, you couldn’t leave it alone and asked ‘So, you don’t think that I am attractive?’ you asked, giggling slightly with some embarrassment.

‘Any man who thinks that you aren’t attractive is clearly blind. But, with that being said, it doesn’t matter what I think, you are 18 years younger than me and it would be wrong for us to take this further. Despite, I don’t want to fuck up our friendship’ Cillian said calmly.

You didn’t know what to say to his comment and, instead of using any words, you ran your hand gently over the side of his perfect face while biting your lip.

‘Just one kiss between friends then, we can blame the red wine after’ you whispered as a comfortable hot feeling washed over you. You felt some sort of attraction towards Cillian since the moment you met him, but didn’t want to admit it to yourself, let alone to him.

‘I don’t know Y/N’ Cillian said as you leaned closer towards him and pressed your lips onto his. You knew he was reluctant but he didn’t push you away.

To the contrary, as you kissed him, his hand came up in a rush to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. Within seconds, his tongue slipped between your lips, whispering over your teeth and began dancing with your tongue.

You noticed the brush of his stubble on your cheek, the press of his lips on yours and the way his mouth tasted, a mix of minty gum and red wine.

It shouldn’t have been so hot, but it was. The taste of him, the smell and flavour, and it made you whimper in your throat. You knew this was one off and you didn’t want this moment to end.

‘Are you ok?’ he asked after he pulled back a little and paused. He was scanning your eyes and there was a cautious considering from his side. You could tell that he was surprised about what had just happened.

‘Yeah, you?’ you said as you couldn’t help yourself but stare into his baby blue eyes.

‘Yes’ he said as he cleared his throat slightly.

There was an awkward silence in the room and you couldn’t stand it.

You build up all of your courage again and leaned over him, pressing your lips onto his once more.

Cillian didn’t hesitate then.

His tongue slipped right back into the same spot than before, before his lips then moved over your face and down to your neck, leaving gentle bites and kisses.

Cillian’s hands were busy touching you at the same time his lips were trailing over your neck.

One of his hands was in your hair at the back of your head while his other hand was moving down to press the small of your back so that your body was pulled forward into his.

As you were exchanging passionate kisses, you could feel the shape of him, the firmness of his body against yours, your legs pressing into his and his chest pressing into your breasts. You could also feel his erection through his jeans, hard as anything, rigid and warm against your tummy.

By this time, you wanted more than just kisses.

‘Sleep with me, just that once’ you whispered.

‘I can’t Y/N, you are 24, it is not right’ Cillian said pulling away from you.

‘It’s just sex Cilly, I am old enough for that’ you laughed.

‘Yes, but I don’t want this to ruin our friendship’ Cillian said.

‘It won’t. There are no strings attached, it’s just sex. Unless you don’t want me’ you responded. ‘Although I think you do’ you giggled as you ran your hand over his pants, feeling his erection.

Your comment made Cillian chuckle.

‘This is a one off, alright?’ Cillian asked, causing you to nod.

‘One off…and it stays our little secret’ you said before smashing your lips back onto his for another minute or two.

After you exchanged more passionate kisses you stood up.

‘Common, I show you my bedroom’ you said cheekily, taking his hand and guiding him towards the bed.

‘Can you help me with this please’ you asked, turning around to face the bed. Your back was now facing Cillian and you pulled your hair aside so that he can open the zipper of your dress.

Cillian unzipped your dress carefully, exposing your black lace underwear.

As you pushed your dress down onto the floor, Cillian began kissing your back and neck, while running his hands over your breasts and stomach, all the way down in between your legs.

You let out a brief moan before turning around to face him and help him pull his t-shirt over his head, exposing his perfectly shaped biceps.

Looking into his eyes, your hand glided gracefully, for once, past Cillian’s belt buckle and into the holy crevice of his Calvin Klein briefs. His cock was hard and ready.

You moved it between my your slowly, relishing his obvious eagerness.

You used the other hand to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, shortly after which he pushed them down to the floor while your other hand never left his warm and hard cock.

After the jeans came off, Cillian pressed his lips back onto yours while using his skilled hands to unclip the back of your bra. The bra also landed on the floor within seconds.

‘Lie down’ he whispered into your ear. You obliged and crawled onto the bed, facing him.

He loomed over you, climbing on to the bed as you scooted backwards further so that he could straddle your hips while you pushed up against him, wanting the rub and friction against you.

Cillian kissed you passionately as one of his hands moved in between your legs.

He could feel your body tensing up as he ran his fingers over the top of your panties

After all, he knew that it had been a while since you’ve been with anyone. He knew to take it slow and give you some reassurance.

‘Just relax’ he whispered into your ear with his thick Irish accent as he edged his fingers over the lace of your panties, his hand leisurely rubbing up and down the length of your squirming crotch, until he pulled your underwear aside and slipped two fingers inside of you.

You could feel your mouth widen and a loud moan escaped you as he teased the full mound of your clit. The stroke of his thumb was purposeful and steady on your firm, dripping pulse while his fingers plunged in and out of you, sinking further and further.

You held onto him tightly as the slipperiness he found made it easy for him to penetrate you with his fingers. You were so wet.

You shuddered at the pattern, shocked to find it could still stun you, unlocking newfound levels of moisture and desire, even when you began to meet the repetition of his thrusts. You naturally tilted and buckled beneath him.

As he was pushing his fingers in and out of you, he trailed kisses down your neck while your hands clutched at his shoulders, scratched down his back, held him tighter to you as I screamed into his skin.

Cillian’s breath grew more desperate and rugged.

‘It seems like we should take these off’ he said, causing you to nod with anticipation.

‘Don’t move’ Cillian ordered as he lowered himself on the bed while removing your lace undies.

Within seconds, Cillian’s lips were an inch away from your crotch, where he painted your inner thigh with tiny and soft kisses.

Cillian pushed your legs apart gently and you knew what would be next. You have read about this many times but this was the first time any man had gone down on you before and you were nervously biting your lip.

You tried hard to relax as Cillian’s lips finally reached your entrance, tasting the evidence of how much you wanted him.

‘Oh god, fuck’ you moaned as his head dove between your legs. His tongue prodded you softly, short licks against your clit.

Instantly, all restraint and reservations you had vanished. You were relaxed completely as his tongue danced and writhed inside of you.

With each skillful stroke, your thighs clenched. But you still needed more and he read you just right; he didn’t stop as you pushed yourself up the bed. Instead, he held you steady, causing you to look down at him and watching his eyes widen as they met yours, reacting to the rush of your wetness.

‘Cillian, oh god…you need to stop, I am so close’ you moaned, not wanting it to be over. You never came more than once so you wanted to feel him inside of you first.

‘That’s good, just let go’ Cillian said quietly with a grin before he continued and slid two fingers back inside of you while whirling his tongue over your clit.

You couldn’t hold on any longer, no matter how hard you tried. Your exhales began to emerge as deepening sighs and you leaned my head back and lived out the fantasy that had flashed through your mind all along.

‘Oh god Cillian’ you moaned as your back arched and a rush of ecstasy flew through your body. You grabbed onto Cillian’s hair as he sucked every drip from you as your orgasm flooded your body.

As you came down from your orgasm, Cillian shuffled himself back up the bed, kissing you passionately.

You could taste yourself on his lips and you were ready for more.

‘I want to feel you’ you whispered after your lips drifted apart and while reaching for Cillian’s hard cock.

‘Do you have a condom?’ he asked, causing you to nod. You had purchased some before your Valentine’s Date, just in case you needed them.

You reached for the bedside table and opened the pack of condoms, handing one to Cillian.

Cillian was quick to get rid of his briefs and put on the condom, before positioning himself on top of you, in between your legs.

He shuddered a great rushing gasp of breath as he entered you. He couldn’t believe how good you felt, so tight.

You felt him push into you then, slowly and carefully, filling you completely.  

‘Cillian’ you moaned as you held onto him tightly as he slowly began to move.

With every thrust, you gasped, whimpered, soft mewling noises, begging for more.

You felt him all the way to your belly button and screamed out with pleasure, your hands taking the heat as he thrusted fast and deep.

As he picked up his pace, you got louder, groans becoming moans becoming shouts, and the bed frame thumped against the wall, louder and faster and louder and faster.

‘Oh god, don’t stop’ you moaned, his skin slapping against yours.

‘You are so beautiful’ Cillian said in between his moans before pulling out of you slowly and lifting up your legs above his shoulders.

He knew exactly that, this way, he would be reaching your g-spot while he was fucking you.

You were slightly surprised by this position but were flexible enough to run with it.

As he entered you again slowly, you let out a loud moan.

‘Fuck’ you moaned in between the high-pitched noises that escaped you.

‘Does this feel alright?’ Cillian asked, wanting to ensure that you are comfortable.

You nodded eagerly and whimpered a shaky ‘yes’ as he continued to thrust into you. He was right at your g-spot and you could barely control yourself.

He slowly picked up the speed and you could feel another orgasm coming on as the tip of his cock kept hitting your g-spot over and over again.

‘Cillian, oh my god, don’t stop…’ you moaned as you held onto his arms tightly.

You began to shake heavily as your orgasm washed over you and tears of joy escaped your eyes.

‘Fuck, Y/N’ Cillian groaned loudly as he felt your walls tightening around him. The sensation coupled with the sounds you were making sent him over the edge and he almost came in sync with you.

As soon as he came, you released your legs from his shoulders and he collapsed on top of you, kissing you passionately.

You could still feel Cillian pulsing inside you when the sudden oddness of what you had done washed over you.

‘Are we ok?’ Cillian asked as he slowly pulled out of you and removed the condom, disposing of it discreetly.

‘I think so’ you said shyly.

‘Good…because I really enjoyed this’ Cillian said as he ran one of his hands over your cheek gently.

‘Me too…plus, I’ve got some inspiration for my book now’ you said cheekily.

‘I am glad to having been of assistance. Make sure you credit me in the end notes’ Cillian said jokingly.

‘Hmm, if I did, it may become a best seller…Sex Scene Inspired by Cillian Murphy’ you said with laughter, causing Cillian to laugh also.

‘I should better get home’ Cillian said as he was playing with your hair. He really didn’t want to leave, but he felt as though it was inappropriate for him to stay the night.

‘You can stay here if you like…’ you offered, but Cillian declined.

After all, this was supposed to be a one off. You are nothing more than friends, or are you?

You accepted Cillian’s decision to leave and weren’t upset by it. You enjoyed your time with Cillian and slept well that night, snugging up in the doona which smelled like his aftershave.

Finishing the Book

The next morning, you got up early to begin writing the intimate chapter of your book. This was the chapter you had struggled with for a while and you finally felt comfortable writing it. If readers would know that, in this particular scene of your book, you were basically reliving your night with your friend, Cillian Murphy, that would be scandalous.

So, you decided to make sure that no one would ever find out about your little adventure.

Unfortunately for you, your grandma seemed to have a good sense of what was going on.

She was on time as usual and dropped Max back at your house at 10am.

‘Had a good night my dear? I can see you are working on your book.’ She said.

‘Yes nan, the play last night was lovely. It has given me some inspiration’ you said.

‘The play has given you some inspiration to write about orgasms?’ your grandmother asked with laughter as she read the screen on your lap top.

‘Nan! Oh my god, don’t read what I am writing’ you said with embarrassment.

‘Oh dear, it’s alright. Believe it or not, I used to write novels myself with a little hint of filth now and then. But, somehow, I don’t think that it was the play that gave you the inspiration to write this little naughty chapter. By looking at the bruises on your neck, perhaps it was your friend Mr Murphy who gave you this inspiration?’ your grandmother said with sarcasm.

‘Nan, no Jesus, please’ you said as your face became flushed.

‘Don’t be embarrassed dear’ your grandmother said. ‘It is good for you. I mean, he is handsome and I saw the way you looked at him yesterday evening…and the way he looked at you’ your grandmother continued.

‘There is nothing between us nan, we are just friends’ you explained with total embarrassment.

‘Alright dear, whatever you say’ your grandmother said, not believing a single word that came out of your mouth.

‘I better go, I have lunch with Alma later… I love you my dear’ your grandmother said before heading out of the door.

‘Love you too nan’ you said.

 WHO WANTS A SECOND PART OF THIS?

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 67: Soulmate (Take 1)

Harry had really great plans for the day that Ginny Weasley turned 18.

He was in the kitchen at Grimmauld making breakfast when she came bounding in through the front door and down into the kitchen.

"Hap-" he started before she had jumped into his arms and kissed him.

With a happy sigh he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other through her long hair and kissed her back.

"Happy Birthday," he finished but she wasn't paying any attention. She had pulled back and was looking at her arms and hands.

"Where is it?" she muttered.

"Sorry?" Harry asked.

She tugged her shirt off over her head to look at her torso.

"Gin, maybe not in the kitchen," Harry started to say, "Ron and Hermione will be down for breakfast any-"

"Do you see it?" she asked quizzically, turning to show Harry her back.

"See what?" he asked.

She shook her head, "My soulmark."

"What?" Harry said, even as Hermione came into the kitchen.

"Hermione," Ginny called, "do you see my soulmark?"

Hermione came over and looked at her back and hummed, "No, sweetie."

"Are you sure?" Ginny whispered, still scouring her front. Ginny looked over at Harry, her eyes desperate, "Did one show up for you?"

(Read more below the cut)

"One what?" Harry asked. "Can someone tell me what is going on?"

"I was so sure," she whispered before she burst into tears.

"Ginny!" Harry said, feeling alarmed and completely lost, he pulled her into his arms and held her close, "Tell me what's wrong," he begged but Ginny didn't say anything at all.

He looked over her head at Hermione, silently entreating her to help him, but she just shook her head.

Finally Ginny seemed to compose herself. She took a few deep breaths and pulled back. "Right," she said, wiping her tears. "I'm going to go. It's probably best if we don't see each other for a while."

"What?" Harry asked, his head spinning, he was dreaming. He had to be.

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "I'll always love you, Harry," she whispered before turning and fleeing from the room.

Harry stood there, completely dumbfounded until the smoke alarm started going off and he looked over to see that the bacon he'd been working on before Ginny arrived was nothing but charred stubs.

He vanished the bacon and set the pan off of the burner before turning to look at Hermione who was watching him with pity in her eyes. "What the hell just happened?" he asked.

-------

So, soulmates were a thing. Apparently.

And Harry couldn't help but wonder why no one had ever told him that once you and your soul mate were both 18 a soul mark would appear on your skin after you kissed, signalling that you'd found the person you were supposed to spend forever with. What was even the point of Hogwarts if they didn't teach you about basic things like soulmates? And honestly, why hadn't Ron and Hermione said anything at the very least?

It took Ginny less than three months to figure out that Blaise Zabini was her soulmate. He tried not to resent her for it, he wanted her to be happy, of course he did, but Harry was still painfully single and had no real interest in trying to date. People never saw him as just Harry, dating would be a complete nightmare.

She'd asked him to be one of her groomsmen for her wedding about six months after they'd broken up and he'd said yes, what choice did he have?

It was a terrible decision, really, even if you were only considering the fact that they'd been dating mere months ago but there was also the unfortunate fact that Draco Malfoy was one of Blaise's groomsmen so he had to see him all of the time.

They didn't fight constantly, like Harry had suspected they might when he'd heard that Malfoy was going to be part of Blaise's party but there was always this weird sort of tension between them.

He couldn't seem to stop watching him, or thinking about him, and so he did the only thing that made sense to him. He decided to become his friend.

"Hey," he said, plopping down next to Malfoy at a planning brunch when the wedding was about six weeks out.

Malfoy looked around before looking back at Harry, "Are you talking to me?"

"Yeah," Harry said, popping a grape into his mouth.

His cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink before he said, "Ahm, hello, then."

"How are you?" Harry asked.

Malfoy looked at him, "I'm fine. Are you concussed?"

Harry laughed, he couldn't help it, "No."

"Under a spell of some sort? Potion, perhaps?"

"No," he said, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Of the two of us, I am not the one behaving abnormally."

He sighed, "Look, I just," he trailed off not sure where that sentence was going, "I want to get to know you. It's weird and whatever but I'm just really curious about you, all the time."

"Ah, sixth year all over again," Malfoy said, taking a drink of his mimosa.

"No, nothing like that. I don't think you're up to anything sinister," Harry defended. "I'm just curious." Then he raised an eyebrow, "Admit it, you're curious about me, too."

"I'm no such thing."

"Come on," he said, nudging the other man with his elbow. "I've caught you looking at me almost as many times as you've caught me looking at you."

Malfoy huffed but the corner of his mouth tipped up, "Alright, fine. I'm a little curious. But don't let it go to your head."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

---------

After two weeks of being friends with Draco Malfoy, Harry basically wanted to spend every waking moment with him. Draco was dramatic and snarky, he had sharp sense of humor that often left Harry in stitches.

"So I told him," Draco said, recounting a tale from going shopping for dress robes for the wedding, "that white was for the bride."

Harry giggled, sipping his pint, "And?"

"He told me that Ginerva informed him that she'd be wearing a green dress."

He nodded, "We picked it the other day."

"And when I asked him why, he said it was because she wasn't a virgin but he is."

"Wait, really?" Harry asked, brow furrowing.

"You didn't know that Ginerva wasn't a virgin?"

His skin heated, "Err," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "not that. I knew that because that was..." he trailed off, clearing his throat, "My fault, actually."

Draco looked scandalized.

"Oh, don't give me that!" he said, shoving the other man's shoulder. "Everyone was a mess after the war. I was just surprised that Blaise isn't."

Draco flushed, "It's actually fairly common among pureblood circles to wait for marriage."

"Wait," Harry said, "Are you-" he started, then stopped himself, "Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

Draco straightened his shoulders, "So what if I am?" he asked defensively. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"No," Harry agreed hastily, "Nothing at all. Sorry. Just that infernal curiosity."

"Maybe it would have been different," Draco said softly, like a confession, "After the war. If there was someone that I'd been in love with, like you and Ginerva were."

He took another sip of his drink before replying, "Well, like I was, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head, "Nothing, I'm happy for her. Just," he trailed off, "It's going to sound awful."

"It's just me," Draco said softly.

Harry gave him a little smile, "There's no 'just you' about you."

He huffed, clearly not taking it the way Harry had meant it.

"She just moved on really fast, you know?" He shook his head, "One minute I think we're happy and in love, the next she's telling me that I'm not her soulmate and breaking it off without even a conversation."

"What kind of conversation were you hoping to have?" Draco asked curiously.

"Like if this soulmate lark was really that big of a deal. I mean isn't it possible that I could have made her just as happy?" he asked.

"It's not just about being happy," he said.

He sighed, "Fine, but couldn't I have loved her just as well?"

"Maybe," Draco said, "but soulmates are more than that. They're the one perfect compliment for your soul. Soulmates match in every conceivable way; it's not that they'll never fight or that everything is perfect, it's like," he trailed off, like he was trying to put something difficult into words. "When you can see the water and the sky meeting, like when they blend together so that you can't quite tell which is which and that's okay because they're made of the same thing."

"Do you know who your soulmate is?" Harry asked.

Draco shook his head and took a sip of his drink, "I'm not sure people like me get to have one."

"People like you?" Harry asked.

He raised his left arm, "I already have a mark, maybe one is all I get."

"In that case," Harry said, tapping his scar, "Maybe one is all I get, too."

"It's not the same."

He shrugged a shoulder, "you didn't want yours anymore than I wanted mine." Draco was quiet for a minute so Harry bumped him with his shoulder, "If it does turn out to be the case, I'll grow old with you if you'll have me."

----------

In the last month leading up to the wedding, Harry and Draco were pretty much inseparable to the point where people started to ask if they were dating.

They weren't, of course, but it put the thought in Harry's head and he found that he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He watched Draco throughout the wedding, the way his eyes misted over as they were saying their vows, his huge genuine smile when they were officially wed, the wistfulness on his face when toasts were being made. Harry's heart felt like it was somersaulting in his chest.

After Blaise and Ginny had their first dance, people were invited to join them on the dance floor and Harry couldn't take his eyes off of the other man. "Draco?" he said and he genuinely couldn't remember ever being this nervous.

"Hmm?" the other man replied, watching with a little smile as Blaise spun Ginny.

"Will you dance with me?"

Draco's head whipped around to look at him so fast that Harry was worried about his neck. "What?"

He swallowed, "Would you dance with me?"

"Why would you ask me that?" Draco asked. "Are you making fun of me?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, look at pathetic Draco Malfoy, everyone!" he hissed. "No one will ever love him, but I'm Harry Potter and I take pity on all sorts of sad, pathetic creatures." Draco stood up and glared at Harry, "No, thanks. I'm not in need of rescuing today."

He stormed out and after a pause where Harry tried to figure out what had just happened, Harry chased after him.

Draco was making his way down the walkway, "Bloody stupid Manors with stupid anti-apparation wards."

"Draco!" Harry shouted.

"Stop!" Draco begged, turning to look at him. "Please. I know you're trying to be kind but it's tearing me to pieces."

Harry froze in place and held out his hands like he was trying to sooth a startled creature, "Listen to me. Please," he added. Draco didn't reply but he didn't move away either. "I'm not trying to be kind or take pity on you, or whatever," he said. "I genuinely wanted to dance with you."

"Pfft," Draco huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"Because I like you," Harry confessed. "I thought that would have been obvious by now."

"You like me," Draco repeated incredulously like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"Why do you find that so hard to believe?"

There was a pause as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts before he exploded, "Because you are Harry Potter!"

"And?" Harry asked, then he took another step toward him, "Draco, it's just me," he whispered, echoing the sentiment that Draco had said the last time they had an emotional conversation.

"There's no 'just you' about you," he murmured, shaking his head as a tear slipped down his cheek.

Harry reached out and brushed the tear away, "I really like you," he whispered.

"What if you're not my soulmate?" Draco breathed. "What if I let you dance with me, I let you kiss me but you're not the one for me? How can I-"

"It doesn't matter," Harry said fiercely. "We can just be together. Surely everyone doesn't find their soulmate."

"But won't you always wonder?"

"Won't you always wonder about us if we don't at least try?" Harry returned.

Draco bit his lip but then nodded. "Kiss me."

"What?"

"Kiss me," he repeated. "I need to know. I can't possibly let myself get any more attached to you if I can't keep you."

Harry cupped his face with both hands and kissed him softly and the moment their lips touched, it felt like something was igniting deep in his soul, his body coming alive and humming at the touch.

Draco must have felt it too as his body surged against Harry's, his hands grasping Harry's waist and pulling him in tighter against his body.

When they broke off panting, Draco rested his forehead against Harry's, "Does kissing always feel like that?"

"No," Harry whispered, brushing his nose over Draco's.

Draco's thumb rubbed over Harry's hip, "I'm afraid to open my eyes," he confessed.

"It doesn't have to matter," Harry said.

"But it matters and we both know it."

Harry groaned and pulled back, "Okay. Where would it be?"

"Could be anywhere," Draco replied, looking at his hands and arms, "But it's most commonly on your hands or..." he trailed off as he pulled up his left sleeve, "arm," he whispered. "Harry."

Harry looked over at him and saw that flowers had bloomed across his forearm where his dark mark had been.

"Your scar," Draco gasped, trailing his fingers over Harry's forehead.

"What?" Harry asked.

A tear slid down Draco's cheek, "It's my constellation," he whispered.

Harry tugged him in close and pressed a kiss to his chin. "I guess you were right," he said.

"About what?"

"I guess we do only get one."

---------------

Day 66: Bond | Day 68: Rain

Okay, so I genuinely love the soulmates trope and it was super hard to write this as a ficlet! I needed more words! Anyway, this one might get fleshed out in the future (and I have a Soulmates chapter fic that's already halfway done). I don't feel like this is my best work but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway! xo

Related note: I wrote a second ficlet for this prompt. I imagine that the people who sent me the prompt were hoping for something along these lines, but here's what I might have written if this was a generated prompt. Day 67: Soulmate (Take 2)

[manonblaqkbeak]

Midnight Cravings

so, i actually wrote most of this in july but never finished it and decided to fix it up for todays prompt bc i was feeling a lil lazy lol. and i think its one of my faves, especially the ending.

2.2k words

cw: none

enjoy!! :)

It was just past two in the morning and Aelin was wide awake. Not due to a mountain of paperwork, or a nightmare or one of her kids needing her. Aelin was wide awake because she was absolutely starving.

The type of starving it felt like she'd never eaten a day in her life. Like her stomach was going to eat itself.

Her stomach growled again, louder than before, and beside her, his voice muffled, Rowan asked, “Is that your stomach or the wind outside?”

“Shut up,” Aelin mumbled, as her stomach continued its song. Gods, why was she so hungry? She practically devoured the fruits in the fruit bowl just before bed, she had a healthy serving of dinner, and a large slice of chocolate torte for dessert.

But here she was, close to eating her damned pillow to sate her starvation.

Aelin glanced over towards her mate, his back to her, and she shuffled closer, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Rowan,” she started to say, but Rowan cut her off.

“I'm not going to the kitchens.”

She pouted, although he couldn't see her. “Please?” she knew that if she used her manners, then he would do just about anything.

But it didn't work. Not just yet. “There's some fruit in the bowl.”

“I ate them all.” He sighed heavily, knowing that he was losing this conversation. “Please? I am your mate, your wife, the mother of your children.”

Rowan snorted. “Really? I was starting to suspect that the three silver-haired children were Lorcan's.”

Her hunger nearly disappeared at the thought of that. “Don't be gross.” Reaching over, Aelin kissed the tip of his ear, smiling as he shuddered in pleasure as she nibbled on it. “Please?”

Rowan sighed heavily, knowing that he lost, and Aelin barely hid her smile. “I'll go,” he said. “But only if you join me.”

Her smile did disappear at that. “But the bed is so warm.”

“Exactly. If I have to leave it, so do you.”

“Fine,” she mumbled reluctantly, but quickly perked up, realising that she would be getting food. Rowan was a much better cook than her. Aelin used to have basic cooking skills, but with being Queen and then becoming a mother, she never cooked anymore and really had no need to; not with multiple cooks under the palace roof. She did try a few years ago as a treat for her family, but everything turned into a crisp and wasn't even suitable for the dogs in the kennels.

Scrambling out of bed, the Queen and King of Terrasen tied on their robes and put on their slippers. Aelin loved the sight of Rowan looking so domestic, it was ridiculous how much she loved it.

Since Isolde was only six months old and far too young to be left behind, Rowan put her in the wooden carrier to take with them into the kitchens, their movements silent as the grave as they transferred their youngest from her crib and into the crafty carrier—Isolde was the only one of their children that slept soundlessly through the night at such a young age, and loathed to be woken up. As Rowan did that, Aelin checked in on Alder in his room, their son a little over three years old, but he slept like a log and Aelin knew that he wouldn't wake up at any point when they were gone.

As they left their chambers, Aelin nearly ruined all their good work and almost woke up their other children when she bit out a curse at the sudden leg cramp that shot up her right calf. Rowan glanced at her, asking if she was okay, and after a moment she was, although she was left a little dazed at the suddenness of it all.

Aelin's legs had been cramping randomly of late, but she didn't notice anything of concern. If it continued, she would go to Magnolia and see if anything could be done about it. The last thing Aelin needed was to fall ill, she had far too many things to do with winter arriving in a few weeks. She did know that if anything was wrong with her, that she could rely on Rowan completely.

Aelin's stomach growled for the umpteenth time, the sound lasting for a good minute before it settled. Isolde fidgeted in her sleep, but did not wake.

“I think your stomach was just trying to talk to me.”

“It was,” Aelin agreed. “It said that we need to hurry the hell up or it's going to disintegrate.”

“We better do as it says then. It'd be cruel to subject Terrasen to a hungry Queen. No one should suffer as I do when you're starving.”

“You make me sound horrible.”

“You are,” he said, humour dancing in his dark eyes. “And not just when you're hungry.”

Aelin mumbled under her breath. Rowan decided to pretend not to hear her, even as he fought a smile.

After what felt like an eternity, they reached the kitchens, Rowan placing Isolde onto the counter closest to them. Aelin rushed towards the bowls of fruit, grabbing an apple and a pear, eating the fruits simultaneously. She missed the small, private smile Rowan gave her as he went to the pantry, asking her what she was in the mood for, one eye on their child. But still, she slept and Rowan for a moment, wished that all of their children had been like that, but knew that there was no point in complaining when they all slept quietly now.

“Something filling,” was all Aelin could think of to say. But after a moment decided on an omelette, filled with bacon, mushrooms, onion, red bell-peppers and carrot. As she and Rowan prepped the ingredients—with Rowan wanting his own omelette—Aelin contemplated in silence, her brows furrowed as she chopped up the carrots.

“What are you thinking about, Fireheart?” Rowan asked when he noticed his wife's expression.

“Just trying to remember the last time I was this hungry. I've been like this for at least a week and a half.”

“I've noticed. You haven't had this big of an appetite for a good number of years.”

She didn't comment on that, lost in her own world. “And my legs have been cramping lately too. I haven't injured myself. Have I been sleeping in strange positions?”

“No, you're sleeping just fine.”

Her frown deepened. “Maybe I'm just stressed for the winter preparations.”

“Possibly, I know that you worry a lot for the people during winter.” They both did, as the winters in Terrasen were brutal. Each year there was always a small number of people that passed due to the cold for a number of reasons. When those lists made their way in Aelin's hands, it always hit her hard, her guilt a palpable thing, even after Rowan would tell her that it was in no way her fault.

But that wasn't the reasons for her consuming hunger and leg cramps—Rowan had noticed the change in her scent weeks ago and when he noticed, he thought that Aelin would too. But she was completely oblivious and he didn't want to spoil the surprise, although it was getting harder each day not to say something.

However, he couldn't help but count back the weeks to the day of conception. He was fairly certain that it was when Aelin had been reading a particularly steamy novel on the window seat in their sitting room and jumped on him like they had never had sex before when he had come to ask if she was joining him in bed.

It would fit in with list of unusual places they have conceived their children. Elentiya had been in the library (either in the archives or in Aelin and Rowan's private nook, neither were sure), Norrin against an oak tree (which they discovered after they have calmed down that the Little Folk had watched the entire encounter, with Aelin becoming stuck between wanting to laugh or hide under a rock), Alder against one of the many palace chimneys, and Isolde in a linen closet.

Maybe one day they would conceive a child in their bed like most people did.

They got to cooking, with Rowan standing behind Aelin and guiding her with the wooden spoon and plating their midnight meal before it burned into a crisp. Isolde babbled in her sleep as the sounds of cooking reached her, but still slept. It wouldn't be long, however, until she woke up to be fed. Aelin placed their youngest by her feet as they sat down at the small dining table in the far corner of the kitchen where the workers took their breaks.

The smile on Aelin's face as she bit into the fluffy omelette was certainly worth being woken up in the middle of the night.

However, her fork stilled in mid-air when she was halfway done when realisation dawned on her.

Finally.

“I'm pregnant,” was all she said, her Ashryver eyes growing wide. Rowan didn't bother to hide his smile. This was why he didn't say anything. It was always worth it when she revealed those beautiful words to him. “Rowan, I'm pregnant. The last time I was this hungry was when I was pregnant with Alder and the leg cramps are from Norrin's pregnancy. And all the fruit I can't stop eating is just like when I was pregnant with Isolde. How haven't I noticed anything?”

“You've been busy,” Rowan said, reaching over to take her hands in his and kissed her fingers.

“You knew, didn't you?” Aelin asked, her eyes narrowed just slightly.

“I may have noticed.”

“You should have told me.”

“I like it better when you come to the realisation yourself,” he said simply.

Aelin shot out of her seat and sat on his lap, a pretty smile gracing her face as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her fingers playing the the hair at the nape of his neck. Rowan wound his arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheeks, the tips of her nose, the corner of her lips and then her mouth.

Aelin hummed contentedly and kissed him back. When they broke apart, she rested her forehead against his.

“We're insane.”

Rowan laughed deeply at the sudden statement. “What makes you say that?”

“We're having a fifth baby. Lorcan and Elide only have three and I always thought that they'd have at least a dozen, but they don't and we're about to have five. That's insane. We're insane.”

“We are, but I like that about us,” he said, kissing her again. Her face was open and soft, her eyes dancing with happiness, but he still found himself asking, “Are you okay with it?”

“Of course I am, buzzard. More than words can say.” Aelin kissed him to emphasise that fact, his hand reaching down onto her belly and was content to stay like that forever. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She always thought that she’d just have one child, maybe two, but to have five was something she never dreamed of.

Isolde finally decided to wake up and scream her displeasure at being hungry. Aelin was off him in an instant, cooing at their daughter as Aelin sat back in her seat and fed not just herself, but Isolde at the same time. His mate was spectacular at multitasking like that.

They couldn't wait to meet their fifth child.

X X X X X X

Rowan was surprised that his children hadn't kicked down the doors to the bedchamber with how excited they were. Even little Isolde was a ball of energy and she was by far their most quiet child. Rowan lead them to their mother, reminding them that they had to be quiet and gentle, because mama had just gone through a long process of bringing in their new sibling into the world.

They entered the bedchamber and Aelin greeted them with a tired but loving smile telling them to come meet their new sister, the kids went onto the bed, surrounding Aelin and the baby, happiness and wonderment in their eyes as they took in the little bundle of joy, her silver hair stark against her lightly tanned skin. She had opened her eyes briefly during her first feeding and Aelin had groaned playfully when she spotted that they were pine-green, muttering how of course I labour for a whole day to give birth to another you. But he knew that she didn't care if she was born with green hair and yellow eyes, Aelin loved her immensely.

“What's her name, mama?” Elentiya asked softly, carefully trailing a finger down her sisters cheek.

“Elowynn-Yrene.” Rowan would never forget the pure joy in Yrene's eyes when Aelin asked if the healer would give them her blessing to grace their child with her name, as a thank you for all the years of coming down and helping Aelin, for eradicating Erawan, and for being a great friend to both of them. It had taken them a few minutes to convince their friend, citing that the honour was far too much, but Yrene eventually said "yes".

“That's pretty,” Alder supplied, a wide smile on his face. Aelin kissed his temple and thanked him for his kind words.

Aelin moved her eyes from Alder to Rowan, smiling as her mate stood there, taking them in.

His family, their family. Never did he think he would be so blessed to have this.

His and Aelin's children; the most beautiful thing Rowan had ever seen.

Rowan went and joined his family on the bed, the smile on his face one of Aelin's favourites.