#this is exactly why i usually come into fandom after everything is said and done canon wise

[o0anapher0o]

I'm constantly torn between horror and astonishment about how utterly vile some people get about things that haven't happened yet and never may. How do you have such strong opinions on the events of a show that hasn't aired yet. At least wait until you actually know what to be upset about before getting the pitchforks out.

I know, I know that would require rational though and that's not what we're here for, but I will honestly never understand why some people take so much pleasure in being angry, especially about things that aren't even a thing yet. How do you lot not get ulcers?

[mxtantrights]

ordinary human

a/n: I can't believe this is my third fic for this fandom. I can't believe it. But I figured I would put my words down and get it all out. I don't think I'll make a part two to this, but we'll see...and with that, I hope you enjoy.

Eris x fem!reader, Azriel x fem!reader

Tiny sharp nails and needles all over your body. That's what it felt like every time Beron questioned you in your cell. It was hardly even that. more like a corner of a room with a rusty and eroded gate.

But you didn't know the reason why. And you couldn't tell Beron that because he didn't take no for an answer. He never takes no for an answer.

You don't know how long it's been now. But a while ago you managed to appear into the fae lands. Not on purpose either. One night you were working a late shift at the tavern. You finished and took the trash out into the alley and then everything went black.

The next time you opened your eyes, you were someplace different. The air felt different against your skin, it felt different in your lungs. You knew you weren't home, but you didn't know exactly where you were.

Until you were captured by the autumn court guards. They took you to the high lord, Beron, and asked what he wanted to be done to you. And he smiled and said he'd think about it.

It's been hell since then.

Every few days have been a new type of torture. Mind games, where he'd leave the cell door open and lure you out. Or he would crowd you in the cell and force you to answer questions. Or he would only offer you fae wine over water, which you couldn't drink without it altering your mind.

Today, though, is new. The guards took you out of your cell today a bit gentler then usual. And then they threw you into a room. A room with a bed and a bathroom, things you haven't seen in a while.

The guard told you to clean yourself up. You wasted no time following orders. One because you felt filthy, and two because you didn't want to defy them and earn new bumps and bruises to your body.

The only way you know time passes is because when you were thrown into the room, the sun was still up. The barred windows told you as much. And by the time you finished cleaning yourself up and waiting for the guards to return the sun set and the sky was turning dark already.

After you cleaned yourself, you looked around the room for anything to help you escape this nightmare. The window wasn't an option. But in between rummaging through the drawers of the bathroom you found a sharp blade. You tucked it into the sleeve of the plain and sheer white dress you were given.

You were laying on the bed when you heard the door open. Your flinch and crawl up further on the bed, pleading and begging the guards to just let you stay inside the room. But they don't speak to you at all.

They grab you by the arms and drag you out of the room. Seeing as you haven't eaten in a long time, you have no energy to fight back. You try screaming but your voice dies out in your throat. And your body lulls as they drag you down a hallway and then another, and then another. You drop your heavy head as they do.

Faintly you can hear a door opening. And there is a plethora of voices. But you can't pick your head up to look. You're tired. So tired. You wish you had lied to Beron and said something, anything, to get him to just end it in your cell.

-

"And now I present to you, my newest experiment." Beron's voice fills the dinning hall.

The doors open and in comes two guards and a woman. She's being dragged in by her arms. Her feet not walking on their own, and her head bobbing with every motion the guards make.

Rhysand looks at Beron in fury. A human in Prythian was rare, until Feyre that is. But this is different. Feyre agreed to a deal to save her family. This woman doesn't look like she came here on her own.

"You've taken a human captive?" Rhysand asks.

Azriel looks your form over twice. You look pale and weak. Like if the guard were to let go of you, you would fall to the floor. And you wouldn't be able to get back up. He knew Beron to be cruel but this is something wicked.

Beron grins and stands from his seat. He takes his chalice with him and walks over to the woman.

"Hardly. She appeared here out of thin air it seems. Can't recall how she crossed the border. A foolish lie, I surmise." Beron says.

Beron snaps his fingers and the guards lets your arms go. You don't have enough energy to catch yourself. You land on your knees and fall flat on your stomach. Unmoving.

"You should have sent her back." Feyre says.

She couldn't stand the sight of it. Your body was so still. And your heartbeat so slow. She was human once. It's hard to not see you and think of how she could have been in the same predicament. She's in a position of power now, and she wants tot help you desperately.

"Well I've just about exhausted my patience with her. That brings us here," Beron begins and drinks the rest of the wine from his chalice, "I figured you'd have a soft spot, soft belly."

Rhysand slams his hand on the table. "You will not talk to her like that!"

Beron hands his chalice to one of the guards who takes it without another word. He uses his foot to roll your body over. You slump to the ground again, eyes closed.

He leans in closer to get a look at you.

Feyre can hear it now. How your heartbeat is beating. Adrenaline.

-

When he turned your body over, you slide the blade down your arm. You could fake it for a while, but this was your shot. If you couldn't escape, then he would surely execute you for attacking him. Beron doesn't strike you as the type to forgive and forget.

The moment you feel his breath on you is when you do it.

You launch up and swipe his face with the blade. He goes flying back, his hands covering his face. You can't see the damage you've done but the blood seeping through his palms is enough to know there is damage.

It's like all the fear is rushing out of you. You get on your feet after a few stumbles, with the blade pointing out in front of you. You turn this way and that, not daring to trust anyone in the room.

"Either you let me go or you kill me!" you shout.

Beron looks at you in pure rage. His hand juts out from his side. And you know what the means. It means he's going to use his powers against you.

The first time he did it, he just lightly burned you. But after what you've done now? There is no way you don't turn into ash. You take a staggering breath.

"That's enough!" Another voice shouts.

You whirl around to them. A male fae. Dark hair. Purple eyes. Purple eyes, you think to yourself. You were very far from home. That much is clear.

"She'll come with us." The female fae next to him says.

You start to shake your head. You don't want to go anywhere but home. You weren't going with another fae. You can't trust any of them.

"That little whore just attacked me, I'll kill her!" Beron shouts.

All of a sudden darkness clouds your vision. But you know it's not your head this time. This is a tangible darkness, shadows. In front of you materialized is a man with wings. Your eyes go wide at him. A different type of fae.

He holds out his hand, "You'll come with us if you want to live."

You don't waste any time. You put your hand in his. For the first time since you got here, the touch is friendly. You can feel the adrenaline coursing trough you start to slow.

Without another second the scenery around you changes. You go from one room you didn't know to another. You feel sick too. In the pit of your belly. It feels like bile.

"You're gonna feel-" the male in front of you says.

But he doesn't get to finish. How could he when you bend over and let out the bile you felt in your belly. The feeling is exhausting. But it doesn't last long.

You pick yourself back up and look at the male. It's then you realize that he's still holding into your hand. You should let go, you really should. But with how weak you're feeling, you cannot. You might fall to the floor if you do.

"We have rooms here, if you want to lay down for a moment." he speaks.

You shake your head over and over. Your eyes beginning to water up. You slowly hold out the blade.

"I want to go home. Take me home." you say, voice cracking.

There's an uneasy silence between the two of you. He doesn't say anything for a few moments. And you feel like you might have to attack him too in order to be taken seriously.

But then a gust of wind is felt across your cheek. You look in the direction of where it came from. There standing a few feet away are the two other fae you saw besides Beron in that other room.

The female takes a step closer to you and you take a step back.

She raises her hands up in defense, "We're not gonna hurt you."

"Please let me go home. Please." you whisper.

"We will, we will. I promise. But you should eat something, and get some rest." she offers.

Eating sounds good. Sleeping too. But how could you trust any of them. How do you know they aren't working with Beron. Maybe this is just some elaborate trick? Fae are tricksters.

Tricksters.

But you can't live like this anymore. You can't live if you don't eat. You can't live if you don't sleep. You can't make it home if you don't live.

You lower the blade and nod you head, "I could eat."

The woman smiles at you. Then she introduces herself as Feyre. The male beside her is Rhysand, her husband. And the other male with the wings is Azriel.

-

After you ate the first plate of food you were taken to a nice room, with a bed. Feyre told you that you could sleep there for a few hours while they worked on getting you home.

Well, a few hours turned into a full day. No one bothered you. You went a full twenty four hours of sleeping. It felt good, it felt like stillness.

You didn't really dream that whole time. Or if you did, you can't remember what you saw. If you had nightmares you can't remember that either.

All you remember as you wake up to dimly lit room is that you need to get home. That is what gets you out of bed and out of the room. Luckily not without your blade.

When you walk down the hallway you notice noise coming from further in the house. You walk towards it and keep your blade tucked inside of your sleeve.

At the door you realize there are more people inside than you anticipated. But before you can even try to turn back the noise stops. Fae have good hearing. They can hear you from inside.

"Come join us." a voice says.

It's speaking to you. There is no other person it could possibly be speaking to. You wearily move in close to the door. You peek your head inside.

There at the table are faces your recognize. Feyre, Rhysand and Azriel. And a few that you don't recognize. You gulp down the fear in your throat and take a few cautious steps into the room.

"There's no need to be scared. This is my family" Feyre speaks to you.

You look at her, "I don't mean to offend you but I would really like to go home now."

"That's easy." Rhysand answers.

He snaps his fingers and the space on the table in front of him is cleared. Then a scroll of paper lands on the wooden table. You watch as he rolls it out.

"Show us where your home is and we'll take you there." Rhysand says.

You quickly walk over to where he is seated at the table. Your eyes glance over the food, once and then twice, and you can feel you stomach begging you to eat. But you would really want to go home over eating another meal here.

On the map you don't really recognize the lands. You have only seen a map when you were younger. And you weren't really paying attention.

You look the map over again. Nothing looks familiar to you.

"Do you have another map? I don't think I see it on here." you speak quietly.

Rhysand nods his head, "Of course."

All of a sudden five scrolls of paper appear in front of you. Rhysand unfurls one of them and shows it to you. Your eyes scan and scan but you can't find anything that reminds you of home. You shake our head.

This process repeats four more times. Four more maps. Four more pieces of paper that don't tell you where home is. You begin to grow weary each time you open a map.

"Hey, it's okay. Maybe you could just tell us where in the mortal lands you call home." Feyre speaks up.

You let out a strangled breath. "The Canary Isles."

The room is silent. You feel it then and there. You feel it as you look around the table and their faces don't change. They all look at you like you've grown another head.

"No worry, I can ask the priestesses for a map from the library. Surely there will be something there." Rhysand says.

You swallow the lump in your throat. Your home isn't on any of their maps. They won't find it. Maybe, because it doesn't exist here. You're not sure how you got here, but you know it was a power beyond you.

"It doesn't exist." a voice says.

You look around the table, and sure enough the only woman looking right back at you is a small one. Black hair. Pretty. But you can sense right off the bat that she isn't like the others. She seems like...more.

"Amren!" another voice says.

"You're willing to string her along? I'm telling you you'll find nothing in any of the maps." Amren, the voice from before, says.

"Why?" you ask, voice shaky and unconfident.

You don't want to hear the words. You don't want her to say what you're thinking. But you need to know the truth. You need to understand your place here. You couldn't do that in the cell with Beron. And it seems like if you left it up to Rhysand you wouldn't do that here either.

"The Canary Isles are no longer." she answers.

You shake your head, "No, no that can't be. I just came from there. I was brought here! It exists!"

"Not for a long time. The Isles were overcome by powerful tremors that sunk the land into the ocean. Then that land reemmerged as the court of nightmares." Amren explains.

You can't help the feeling of bile in your stomach. Or the fear that is catching your breath. You take out the blade and back yourself up. At your action everyone in the room stands up.

Feyre takes a step closer to you but you raise the blade in her direction. You see Rhysand wrap his arm around her waist.

And that's about all you see before your eyes get wet, and you realize that you've started crying.

"I told you I wanted to go home. And now you're telling me it doesn't exist." you shout.

"I know, I know, but if you give us some time-" Feyre starts.

"You promised!" you cut her off with a yell.

"Stop lying to her, you can't promise something that doesn't exist." Amren keeps going.

"I need you to put that blade down." Azriel says.

You shake your head and try to wipe away the tears in your eyes. With a rough swipe of your palm over your face you do as much as you can.

"I just want to go home. Please let me go home. Please, I'm begging you, just let me go." you sob.

You don't even know what you're asking at this point. If home didn't exist how could they let you go there? No matter how hard you beg they could not bring you to a place that no longer existed.

You don't notice the feeling of something snaking up your legs. You don't notice until it's too late and it binds your wrists together. The blade clatters to the floor loudly.

"I got her," Azriel's voice sounds.

You fall to your knees all at once. The hunger and desperation getting to you. You can hear all of them walking away, almost all of them. You lift your head up to see them. Azriel and Rhysand.

"I am so sorry." Azriel says.

You don't quite understand what he's apologizing for. You look over to Rhysand who looks just as remorseful. You can't understand why, you were a human. Nothing to them.

As you stare into Rhysand's eyes your vision becomes spotty, until it becomes dark all together. The last thing you remember feeling is falling to your side.

-

Azriel and Rhysand watch your unmoving form on the floor. Rhysand didn't want to put you to sleep but he had to. It was the only way to get the situation under control without hurting you physically.

Azriel's shadow lets go of your wrist and they fall apart.

"This doesn't make sense brother." Azriel says.

"I know, but she's been through a lot since her arrival." Rhysand admits.

"An ordinary human girl from a place that no longer exists? We've never delt with this situation before."

Rhysand hums, "Agreed. Maybe we should talk to someone who knows more than us."

"Beron?" Azriel asks.

Rhysand shakes head head. "The other Vanserra."

Azriel sighs, "Mor's not gonna like it. Neither will Cassian."

"Right now he might be the only chance she has. I'll send for him."

-

For the first time you feel at ease. You can picture your dreams so clearly. Your house, filled with your family. Your job filled with your friends and the nice customers. Real. All of it is real.

So why did something feel off?

You can't remember what you were doing before this. Were you sleeping at your house or were you at the tavern? You don't think you were at either one of those places. But if you weren't, where were you?

This is a dream, but the question is, are you going to wake up and like what you find?

-

Eris takes in your sleeping form. He couldn't believe when Rhysand had the nerve to ask him to come over. Of course he know him to be smart and quick, coming up with an excuse to appease Beron.

Officially he is in the night court to negotiate some gifts his father is to recieve on behalf of being attacked. By you.

You.

Unofficially, he is here because of you. For many reasons, and Rhysand seems to only know of one. That's his problem.

Eris knew the moment he saw you, you were someone special. He couldn't show it, lest he have you killed right then and there. But over the course of your stay in his court, he grew quite fond of you. Even if you never knew it.

The way you stood your ground when Beron played and tested you was remarkable. It reminded him of himself and the ever-going game he's been playing with his father. And it renewed his patience. If you could do it, so could he.

Now here you were.

"What did she call it again?" he asks.

Rhysand and Azriel share a look between each other. Then Azriel clears his throat.

"The Canary Isles." he answers.

"Otherwise known as the court of nightmares." Eris finishes off.

"How did you know that?" Rhysand asks.

Eris passes a smirk over his lips, "My father can be quite banal about things. As you know."

"Okay but do you know anything that can help her?" Azriel asks this time.

Eris looks at them now. If his father caught wind of this, Eris doesn't even know how to complete that sentence. Surely he'd be beaten by his own father's hand. Maybe exiled.

"I cannot turn back time, shadow singer." Eris answers carefully.

"We're talking about how she got here." Rhysand clarifies.

"She doesn't know that information, nor do I."

"This was a waste." Azriel says suddenly.

"I agree. Eris you're free to go." Rhysand adds.

Eris sighs, "Wait."

Both of the males look at him. A couple of choice words on their minds. They don't speak them just yet, in hopes of what he might offer them and you.

Eris looks at you once more.

"Beron thought she appeared a couple of weeks ago. But that isn't true." Eris admits.

"Go on..." Rhysand trails off.

Eris cross his arms against his chest. With his brows settled and his face neutral, he schools his shoulders back.

"I found her almost two months ago. When she first appeared in our court. She was laying there on the ground, unconscious. I helped her." Eris confesses.

The room is silent between the three males. Rhysand can't believe the words coming out of his mouth at first. Eris? Helping someone? Surely he is lying and working an angle.

Bur Azriel, he believes him. There is no reason for Eris to play hero. Not for anyone in the night court, and not while you were knocked out. This doesn't benefit him.

And then there is the looks he has on his face. When he looks at you. For the first time in forever Azriel sees this look and thinks that Eris might be capable of emotion behind the mask he wears.

"And if I wake her up, she'll remember that?" Rhysand asks.

Eris shakes his head, "No. I subdued those memories deep in her mind, once she got caught."

Rhysand scoffs.

"So you left her to Beron to fend for herself?" Azriel asks.

"It was the only way she would make it out of there alive. Or at least until I could come up with a plan to get her out of the autumn court." Eris replies.

"Eris, the hero." Rhysand comments.

"You don't understand." Eris quips.

"Enlighten us." Azriel says.

Eris is still for a moment. Uncharacteristically still, even for his own standards. Rhysand doesn't like it one bit, but he'll allow it if he can get some answers from him. This visit has yielded much of them so far.

Then he does something that shocks both males. Instead of answering with words, he lets his shields down. Invites Rhysand into his mind. And enter he does.

But there is only one thing for him to see.

Eris, stood over your body, in the woods. The leaves of autumn beneath you. In this memory, he took a step back. He took several steps back and placed a hand over his chest. A gasp.

Eris puts his shield back up. Rhysand looks at him now.

"She's your mate." Rhysand states.

The three words hung heavy in the air as the three males weighed their options then and there. All the while you lay in a deep slumber none the wiser.

-

You wake up to the feeling of someone touching you. At first you don't quite understand. Who could be touching you right now? Why would someone be touching you?

Then your mind fills in the gaps. You weren't at home. This wasn't your bed. You were in a fae court. Stranded. Being held against your will. Not by the cruel high lord of the autumn court. But of the high lord of the night court.

You lurch out of your sleep. Your eyes fly open.

"Calm down, you're safe. It's okay."

You take him in. Ginger hair. Freckles. Beautiful by your standards and probably fae standards. No. He probably exceeds all of them. You ask yourself who this male is. But you know you don't have the answer to that question.

"Who are you?" you ask quietly.

He smiles for just a sliver of a second. You know you're not imagining it. Or maybe you are. After all you've eaten fae food, you can't trust anything right now.

"A friend." he says.

He takes his hand way from your cheek. You miss the warmth that was there. But you don't dare ask for him to return it.

"I don't have friends here." you reply.

"Maybe we can be friends then. If you'll have me." he says.

You look at him for a moment. His face looks passive. Like he doesn't want to have this conversation. But his words and the way his voice sounds, tell you a different story.

"Can you take me home?" you ask a bit louder this time.

He clears his throat, "I'm working on figuring that out. It's no easy task."

"Impossible things are hardly ever easy." you answer.

He cracks a smile, "I agree."

"You look familiar." you say suddenly.

His eyes widen a bit. He tries to school his face back to neutral but it's too late. You've seen it already. And if he looks familiar, maybe he does know a way to bring you back home. Or it's something more sinister.

"My name is Eris." he greets you formally.

After stroking your face in your sleep. Fae were weird. He holds out his hand for you to take. You move to sit up on the bed. From underneath the covers you take out a hand and shake his with it.

You give him your name. He nods his head once.

"I hope to be of service." he says.

-

It's been weeks of silence. You don't understand it. The fae say say one thing and mean another entirely. Maybe it was the human part of you that took people at their word.

You're learning that won't work here.

Eris wasn't much of a help. You don't even know how to contact him. Even if you could you doubt he'd be able to do something to help you. If he did, he would be here.

And you weren't going to ask any one here. You couldn't trust any of them. Except for maybe that one who told you the truth. No matter how hard it was or you to hear.

You open the door to the room. Your room, you suppose it is now. Slowly you peek your head out to get a glance down the hallway. There's no one there, not even the other creatures that live here.

With bated breath you take careful steps outside of your room. Not like it would really be of nay use, with their hearing abilities and all. But it would show them that you weren't interested in talking.

Walking down the hallway is the easy part. When you get to the staircase is when you begin to doubt yourself. You take the steps two at a time, being barefooted meant less noise against the marble floors.

When you reach the bottom you look both ways. To the left was the dinning room. You would definitely not go in there. To your right was another room. One you hadn't entered before.

You tiptoe over to the door and press your ear against it. The wood is so thick you can't hear anything but muffled voices. You can't tell who is who.

There's a sound and then another. You move to back up but the door flies open before you can get far enough.

It's her.

She looks you up and down. Sizing up her prey no doubt. You don't flinch or shy away from it.

"For a human you're very brave." she says.

You swallow, hoping it isn't loud enough to be detected.

"I wanted to speak to you." you respond.

She nods her head, "Very well, little human."

She turns on her heel without another word. Meaning you were to follow. You take after her, a couple of steps behind. She walks down the hallway on the first floor and out the balcony doors.

You don't have to keep up for too long because she stops and takes a seat in the chairs placed outside. You take the one beside her.

"What did you wish to speak about?" she asks.

"Out of everyone here, you know the most about the Canary Isles. Can you tell me more about what happened?"

She looks at you. Like really looks at you. Maybe she can't believe that you want to hear more about how your home no longer exists. You shift under her gaze.

"I don't think it'll do you any good to hear about it right now. Not when they are working to get you back." she answers.

You shake your head, "You said that was impossible."

"To my knowledge. But I have been wrong before."

"Do you honestly think you're wrong now?" you ask her.

She is silent for a moment. A moment that is riddled with tension and worry. You want her to be wrong. But you get the feeling that she's rarely ever so.

"For your sake, I hope I am."

"please, tell me what happened." you plead.

"It was recorded a long time ago that an ancient creature created the tremors that sunk the island. And it remained underwater due to a powerful spell that was only broken by the first high lord of the night court." she explains to you.

Ancient creatures. Spells. High Lords. All of this seemed like a fever dream. Yes fae existed where you came from, or you should say when, but they weren't the rulers of courts. They lived amongst humans.

But maybe all of that changed.

"This sounds like a long time ago for you." you comment.

"I was not alive when it happened. And I am older than everyone here, so it was a long time ago." she responds.

She's not about to tell you how old she is. And you're not about to ask.

"You're name is Amren, right?" you ask.

She looks at you softly and nods her head.

"Thank you, for talking with me. I really appreciate it."

-

Later that night you are going back to your room. You stood outside after Amren left. She had things to do, but you didn't. You figured you would just sit and try to understand things. Which turned into you taking a nap on the chairs.

The only reason you woke up was because of the change in weather. The night time hit and you felt the cold breeze against your skin. Your mind was fuzzy as you picked your head up. So fuzzy you thought you saw leaves on the ground.

But when you stood up, barefooted on the ground, you realized there were none.

So you shook it off as exhaustion. And you decided to get to bed.

You were walking up the steps when you heard another pair of footsteps. You halted all at once. Then the footsteps stopped. You looked up to see who it was that you couldn't avoid.

Azriel.

"I was looking for you, your room was empty." he says.

You start to question to yourself why he was looking for you in the first place. It's not like the two of you were friends. Neither could he tell you anything about how to get back home.

"Why?" you ask him.

"I wanted to apologize for binding your hands at dinner. That was wrong. I wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else. But I should have thought of another way." he explains.

You watch him closely. From here, it seems like he cares about you. And you don't have the faintest idea why. You take an apprehensive step up, and then another. You meet him where he is, at the second to last step at the top.

He watches you as you do.

His wings moving behind him. His shadows unruly.

"Why are all of you so intent on keeping me alive?" you question.

He looks take aback that you would ask such a thing. His jaw clenches and you take that to mean you've upset him.

"We would do this no matter who you were." he answers.

And there it is. Those words, were so specific. No matter who you were? So you were someone of importance to them? How? How long will you be important before they discard you?

You can't help the inquisitive look you give him, "So I am someone important? You need me for something?"

Azriel doesn't spare you another look. He walks right past you. His arm brushing yours as he does. You stay right there on the steps. Unmoving.

You look back just in time to see him disappear into his shadows.

-

a/n: annddd that's all I got! sorry this was sitting in my drafts and I wanted to just get rid of it so bad. idk how I feel about it. send me a message in my inbox if you want me to keep going.

[luvv4j4ybe11]

Felt the need to come have a wee chat to you in your inbox 🩷 wondered if you had any advice for me as I'm trying to start writing for the avatar fandom here and there? Ive already done a couple of pieces but 🤷 any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏 also constructive criticism if you happen to take a look at what I've done (tho you absolutely do not have to ofccc) Ty babes have the loveliest day/night

I would say the best thing to do is read other people’s pieces so you have more info for your fic, and then just start writing! Just let everything flow together. And if you get stuck with something I’m always happy to help. Because when I posted my first fic I was anxious asfff but I asked my some of my mutuals to give me advice and proofread it and that’s exactly what they did! So I’m glad you reached out to me of all people like🥹 you’re the sweetest frl🩷🩷

Here are some more of my tips bc I didn’t say a lot in this ⬆️:

- when you read other people’s fics, make sure it’s the same topic as yours (so like smut,fluff, angst)

- try to avoid usin the word “said” or “says”, I usually will look up other words on safari or Pinterest bc they always help me out. But also it’s not the end of the world if you do use them, just don’t make it a habit ofc.

- make sure you put warnings, a summary(if you want), and translation(if you want), but warnings are the most important! Just to make sure people know wtf they ab to read😭

- in your fics make sure to talk about their tails and ears, bc i always do that since i like the visual it gives (especially if you’re writing a smutty story 😩)

- add periods and comas in the right places. And I know that seems obvious but I always forget to do it, even after I’ve proofread 3 times😭

- and adding to this ⬆️ when the character your writing for calls reader a pet name or vise versa, always put a coma before or after the pet name, depending on what your writing. So like: “what’s up, baby?” Or “mama, come here.”

- when you write dialogue, putting an action before the talking is what I like to do best. Idk why but it just flows better for me and I just like it. So for example:

“You brushed the two braids that hung infront of his face behind his ear. Catching his attention quickly as he looked at you with pretty amber eyes filled with confusion, brows furrowed together. “Come on, yawntu, I wanna show you something.” You purr before grabbing his hand and tugging him up, both of you racing to the forest together.”

- don’t forget capitals and punctuation! I do that a lot in my fics, that’s why proofreading is so important.

- adding to this ⬆️ tho, PROOFREADDD!! It’ll save you from embarrassment I promise 😭 I’ll always catch a word I spelled wrong or I’ll add something in or take something out and just fix my fic to my liking. But even if you don’t that’s fine!! People on this side of tumblr are always here to help with little mistakes made in your fics or they’ll just ignore it and fill it in mentally, bc we all know what you’re tryna say.

- also when you’re trying to focus on a character’s emotions, try to describe it with their speech and expressions. Example:

With expressions: “You threw your things down and sat on the bed with a huff. Brows knit tightly together and lips curled up in anger.”

With speech:“Leave me alone, *name*! I don’t wanna talk right now!” You shout at your mate, guilt slowly pooling into your stomach when you see his ears pin to his head, tail swaying behind him sadly. Causing your expression to soften as you walk over to him.”

- use italics,colors, and bold to make the story more interesting and dramatic. (A personal favorite of mine)

Example:

“He picks you up swiftly, saying a quick goodbye to his friends before storming to your shared hut. “You just love making me mad, don’t you, babygirl?” He growls, the anger radiating off of him making you stay silent. “Answer me.” He says sternly as he slaps your thigh. Hard. “Y..yes..” tone barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to pick up on. Making a pleased smirk appear on his face before he opens the flaps to your hut.”

- the most important of all is to have fun!! Don’t overthink anythin and js let everything flow naturally. You got this baby<33

Here are some of the people whose fics I’ve read and learned from! I hope they help you out as much as they did for me🩷: @pandorxxx @pandorxxx @plooto @sweethoneycn @tiredmamaissy @teyamsatan @tallulah477 @tiyawnyana @teymars @hotdsworld @blue-slxt @neteyamssyulang @neteyamswillow @neteyamkink @neteyamsyawntu @atxxokirina @sulieykte @wheneclipsefalls @eyweveng @zafrinaxyz @inlovewithpandora @iseeyou-neteyam

I hope this helped you out! And my dms are open if you need any more help from me<33

[hekate1308]

Fictober #4, No, We're Not Doing That

Prompt: No, We're Not Doing That

Fandom: Supernatural

Cas has been growing weaker for some time now.

Normally, dean would be concerned but with everything they have been through over the years, he confronted him about it the second after they had finished a hunt where Cas had been thrown around more than he should have, and the result was – the explanation – the point –

Well – Cas is falling. His grace is slowly being drained away.

Normally, Dean would make a big deal out of it, try to prevent it, to help in any way he can, but it’s Cas choice. He confirmed it and there is nothing influencing him, Dean knows that (and if he had to call a certain demon to make certain and now owes Crowley a favour, that is his problem, and his problem alone. The king of hell knowns what he can ask for anyway these days).

But still, this is what is happening – Cas is falling and there is nothing to be done because he wants nothing to be done because he wants to be human, live and bleed and then die alongside them, and Dean doesn’t know what to do about it because – because –

In the end, its’ that Cas, as a human, will be – he supposes the word would be available, in a way he’s never really been before because there was always something going on. Not that means anything will change, because why should it. Absolutely ridiculous. They’ve known each other for so long now, if anything should have happened, it would have a long time ago.

So, really, what remains is to be Cas’ friend through it all, and he’s done his best to be exactly that. After all, it’s one thing to occasionally having been close to human and then regaining one’s grace and quite another to fall once and for all and throw one’s lot in with the mortals.

So, he’s made sure he knows about proper nutrition, prompting quite a few sniggers from Sam, that eh wraps up properly when it’s cold, much as he is fond of the trench coat, that no, staring at people for longer than five seconds without blinking is not considered normal (alright maybe some won’t notice but others think Cas is a weirdo for it, and he doesn’t want them to treat him badly for it). They’ve rubbed along quite well, all things considered.

The hunts are another matter. Naturally Cas wants to help. Of course he does. He has been working with them for so long anything else would be unthinkable, but the problem is that he – that he –

He just isn’t as strong as he used to be, and that’s not an insult, that’s just a fact. He can’t burn people’s eyes out anymore, and that’s just one example.

He still has his knowledge, and the fighting skills he has retained as human, so he is not completely helpless, but still, it never hurts to be careful, or he’ll be toast faster than he can blink, and Dean is not risking that, not when it’s probable he’ll end up in hell again once everything is over and done with and he’ll never see Cas again.

Still…

The most difficult part really, is the invincible part. Or the close to invincible part. Aka what Cas was used to being before he became human, so he still tries to act like a shield for them when he really can’t anymore.

“No, we're not doing that" Dean decides on today’s hunt because they don’t even know what exa5tcl it is they are hunting and he’s not sending anyone in without proper intel.

“Dean” he argues “a decoy would help our chances –“

“Yeah, but this thing is dangerous, and it’s better not to risk it.”

Sam, as usual when it comes to such discussions, these days has decided not to say anything, which is fine by Dean because he tends to take Cas’ side even when it’s obvious he should agree with him.

“But – “

“I said we’re not doing that.”

“I’m a hunter” he spits “I am not useless”.

And it is only then that dean realizes what the problem is.

Oh. Cas thinks – that he thinks – that he believes – “That’s not it, man” he quickly says. “I just want – I’m just worried. I couldn’t bear if something happened to you.”

That’s a little bit closer to the full truth than he ever wanted to admit.

“I –“ and they’re looking at one another again, or staring as Sam keeps calling it, and he has no idea how to deal with this.

Then Cas says “I don’t know hat I would do if something happened to you, either” and then they are kissing.”

Not quite sure how that happened, but dean is cool with it.

They’ll figure that out later even as he hears Sam clear his throat and exclaim, “Well I’ll just go check out the human-devouring monster shall I?”

[psychewritesbs]

Been reading your opinions on the boy of all time megumi and can I just say firstly, thank you for being so good w words BC man you get his character so well and you're so good at getting into all the little details abt him that I can never properly describe to ppl, Like, the whole breaks the trope while following the trope thing?? YOU GOT THAT ALL SO CORRECT THATS EXACTLY IT IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SM BC EVEN JUST RIGHT OFF THE BAT HE BREAKS THE USUAL STOIC BROODING CHARACTER TROPE(THE trope) BY ACTUALLY CONSTANTLY SHOWING although subtly THAT HE DOESNT HATE EVERYONE?? im getting way off track already i actually popped in here to just ask abt how you think the whole sukuna possessing megumi thing will all turn out?? I honestly feel like slapping myself for not seeing it coming tbh like they talked about the head of the six eyes and ten shadows battling it out to the death before and sukuna kept on hyping up megumi like they were so obviously setting that up there and I just. Denied. But I'm just asking BC personally I think that it would really show the final steps of growth for megumi's character if he is actually able to surprise sukuna, even for a little, and come back from the depths of where ever tf he is rn bc yk his whole issue w/ self worth and what he believes he's capable of and I just wanted to know what you think the best outcome for his character would be? Sorry this is such a mess I just have so many thoughts zooming around my brain and I'm trying to...make them make sense...

ITS THE MEGUMI LOVE!!!! Yessssss. Thank you for sending me Megumi love! I love getting Megumi love 🫶🏼.

Man, Megumi is just such a good character. Truly one of Gege's best. Everything he's done with him from how his character is based on the trope while also subverting the trope, to his backstory and his growth arc and how it's been executed... It's poetic justice.

I love Megumi so much, and any time I see someone hate on Megumi for really shallow or toxic reasons I just lose all faith in humanity. It's one thing to not care for him as a character and quite another to dislike him for being a "disappointing deuteragonist" because he's "weak", "hasn't had character development", and "did not master 10 Shadows"..................................................

Bruh...

ANYWAYS 😂 you see... this is the thing... I am trying really hard not to speculate about what might happen regarding Sukuna WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I'M GOING TO SPECULATE BECAUSE I LOVE SUKUNA BUT FUCK SUKUNA!

ehem. More of me not being normal about Megumi under the cut.

Ok in all seriousness... with chapter 230 and how Sukuna forced Megumi to take the brunt hit of Unlimited Void, something shifted in me.

For some time I've been reluctant to make any predictions about Megumi coming out alive because I don't want to have preconceived expectations coloring my weekly reading experience, but mostly because, like Megumi, I have a tendency to bunt instead of swinging for the fence so as to not experience disappointment. Read this to mean I don't want to get my hopes up about Megumi surviving.

That is not to mention that I took Sukuna possessing Megumi's body personal. idk, something about seeing Megumi lose his agency felt both so wrong and yet so right on a metaphorical level. Wrong because DAMN YOU SUKUNA GO BACK TO YOUR BODY! and right because... as you said, Megumi had it coming both from a narrative and psychological perspective.

From then on, we just saw him sink deeper and deeper into learned helplessness and despair, culminating on this beautiful image of him in the fetal position.

Truly a reversal of ego back into the metaphorical mother (the unconscious) as though he was in the birth canal waiting for rebirth. And come to think of it, in the Japanese fandom, one of the more popular theories revolved around "birth" or something like that.

So with ch. 230, my hope for Megumi is renewed somehow. A lot of people think he's done for, especially after UV. But I'm on camp #this is going to backfire badly on both Gojo and Sukuna... or at least I hope it does.

So....

I'm just asking BC personally I think that it would really show the final steps of growth for megumi's character if he is actually able to surprise sukuna, even for a little

EXACTLY! And see, this is the thing, I don't want to see Megumi be saved by anyone other than himself. If Megumi is saved by others, then he didn't learn his lesson.

Basically, Megumi has taken Tsumiki's place as the Sleeping Beauty that is in need of rescuing. He's become a passive agent in his own life, which is exactly what gave Sukuna an opening.

If Gojo or Yuji, or anyone for that matter, comes in and saves Megumi without Megumi putting up a fight, then this whole growth process is metaphorically and literally aborted.

Like you, I personally think that this period could be a metaphorical gestational period for Megumi and I wonder if he's going to reach a tipping point where the anger he feels is stronger than the learned helplessness or something like that.

I just wanted to know what you think the best outcome for his character would be?

ALL THAT TO SAY THAT YES. Sukuna might be my other fave, but I am looking forward to either Megumi giving him a hard time or straight up beating the crap out of him.

Megumi has earned that privilege.

Right now, I am wondering how UV has affected Megumi's brain and what that will mean for his behavior. My hc is that his negative self-image is partly due to "reason". In other words, reason = his sense of self as the story he tells himself about himself.

But Megumi levels up because of imagination. Now that he's been hit by UV (I understand it's been 5 times?), how has being flooded with infinity affected the left (reason or logic, analytical) hemisphere of his brain?

Another idea I've been keeping quiet about is that part of the rebirth process involves moving through hell and up into heaven (a la Dante's Divine Comedy as a metaphor for a process of initiation or enlightenment). Megumi right now is sinking in hell as he comes face to face with inner evil.

So can we expect him to come back up? Will Beatrice make a cameo? I'm looking forward to whatever the cursed cat is cooking.

I just have so many thoughts zooming around my brain and I'm trying to...make them make sense...

ahaha, same tho.

Hey thanks again for the Megumi love, the kind comments, and for stopping by! Here's to hoping Gege does bring our boy back 🙌.

[catlokis-blog]

do you have any gubby scenarios i am DYING for old men in love and so far you are the only person in this fandom i have seen since 2020 have correct takes on them

(PUNCHING THE AIR IN TRIUMPH) YESSS IVE BEEN DEEMED THE QUEEN OF OLD MEN IN LOVE CONTENT

im actually writing a vampire au fic right now featuring gubby and boomer ... but i wont bring that up until its closer to completion

(right now i have it roughly a third done before i do my final edits, but note that's because i just do basic planning, rough draft, and then final draft. its a pretty simple writing process and its why i dont write chaptered fics)

since you asked for gubby specifically ill focus on them especially considering theres a lot of boomer content out there but no love for the space man and the man who loves space.

read more and a headcanon dump time. you know how it is!

bubby almost DEFINITELY made the first moves to gman. i like to think it was encouraged by coomer after bubby was like btw im polyamorus and i also cant stop thinking about gman can i go ask him out. and then coomer became #1 hypeman and would try and force them into scenarios together LMFAO

gman isnt really ever forced into anything though? luckily for bubby he DID hold interest in the bastard and would go along with coomer very unsubtly trying to have them get some one-on-one time

during tommy's birthday party bubby almost definitely started flirting with gman. something about the atmosphere making even mister money bags space god start to relax and have fun a little was when he decided to make his first moves on the guy despite having eyes for him earlier

The train incident was his first attempt to talk but we all know how often gman cameos around in half life 1... bubby almost certainly took notice of black mesa's Latest Old Man Babe

gman probably barely knew how to process being flirted with at first because he's used to being treated with fear and such, and when he does get flirted with it's usually in a way that's like "oh, you're so above me", but bubby would approach it in the way you'll approach someone at a bar

as in shitty pick-up lines and very overt "you're hot as fuck, make out with me" comments. but the phrasing is more bubby's personality than bar etiquette - he's not exactly romeo.

eventually once gman gets used to bubby flirting with him after a while though the script WILL get flipped on him. because gman is no fool. in fact he is VERY observant. half of the time he spent listening to bubby's nonsense flirting (and, occasionally getting responses he didn't know he was even capable of, like an involuntary "oh my" and a blush when he said a particularly romantic line that was probably fed to him by bubby's personal cupid, dr. coomer) he would be picking up on what made bubby a little more nervous to say, a little more hopeful in how gman would respond, and what he seemed to like to hear from dr coomer

after constant passive reception of bubby's moves on him he'll fire back onto bubby with everything he had observed up to that point. even the little comments he'd whine to benrey, coomer, and even gordon when he was willing to listen to bubby. all those offhanded whiny things like "why can't he just x already" would come BITING HIM BACK.

at the end of the encounter bubby is probably rendered speechless and gman toys with him a little more through baby's first kiss from a god. he and coomer would have their own little mini celebration about this later

( and, a little bonus, despite coomer's encouragement, bubby would never actually ask gman out. he's very stubborn on waiting to be confessed to instead, which is why it took so long for him to get with coomer after literal years of flirting. gman ended up learning this too and had to research how the hell you ask someone out since he had literally never had to do that before - he was usually getting asked out and rejecting people because they were doing it for some kind of personal benefit / he doesn't have much interest in dating randoms in the first place. )

[captainaikus]

that's a relief! the fact that you remember your anons makes me feel very warm and fuzzy 😭 happy that you think of me when you listen to chase atlantic 🫶 speaking of kaiser... that man was a literal menace during the previous bllk chapters omg i fucking hate him (holy shit i think i fell for him deeper 😞 my taste in personified red flags is extremely questionable) nonetheless, i'm looking forward to your next works!

really glad you've been faring well and your ao3 move is doing good. i get your point and i agree w/ it. tumblr's system is shit. some authors get like 700+ likes from posting a twt p0rn link?? i have nothing against them, if that's what some people prefer then so be it. but seeing the small authors who pump out actual high-quality content and not getting enough appreciation for it is saddening. in the first place i downloaded tumblr solely for the purpose of reading fanfics and poetry-related stuff. now all i see are twt p0rn links flooding my feed and that never ever fails to tick me off (come on man i just want to read some fics with good plots 😞). the main reason i haven't deleted this app yet is because of some authors i follow (including you), who actually work their asses off for their readers. that's something i highly appreciate. i'll admit—ao3 is better when it comes to giving smaller authors justice. at least you won't have pussyass anons coming after you in the most passive-aggressive way possible for no reason :D

i wish you the best of luck! ❤️

– 🌷

Apologies for responding to this late; I really like uncomfortable by chase atlantic and heaven and back is giving me some ideas... gonna start working on that when i'm done with this wip - Honey. I love like Aiku, he is literally the biggest red flag you can find in bllk (smh Idek why I fell for him - literally saw him and said yes.) I love him sm After reading his panels and guessing everything right about him, we're soulamtes my soulmate is actually Sae though... but we don't walk about that I'm waiting for the next chapter to drop so that i can see the loml 😭 Rant ahead so feel free to skip - Exactly the point. Like here's the thing about the author community on tumblr. I've usually stuck to my own blog cause of it - when you get buddy with some authors; it comes with its own set of problems cause when they get dragged into some kind of a discourse, everyone they've spoken to get dragged into it as well, even readers come up with some really crazy theories regarding content, similarities etc etc. It's one of the reasons that i'm not a very author to author interactive blog with just dropping in here and there. Not to mention that authors tend to stick to their own online circle and getting into one isn't as easy as it looks? They will judge you by the amount you have reblogged which shouldn't be the case tbh. And i don't reblog other author's works since i stopped reading things 2 years ago here and ever since I started writing ff i only checked the tags for seeing if my work turned up or not. Rather than preferring an author and author relationship, i prefer having one with my readers since they are the ones to hype my works up and send me good feedback. I feel really bad for small time authors on this platform cause authors who have dominated one fandom, entirely; are getting into smaller fandoms - and with their huge followings, they tend to take most of the space and fame compared to small time authors who have some really good quality content. Like was taking one or even two fandom/s not enough? But then its always the same story of "what's wrong with being a multi-fandom blog?" or "We're creating free/ quality content so what's the problem?" The discourse and the toxicity here is actually never ending, it's something that I've been noticing for four years now... and it was high time that i moved to ao3 cause here both authors and readers are toxic, cause authors are trying to keep readers down sometimes and readers... some of the them report your work even if it takes hours to create it. Not to mention that it even escalates to getting death threats which is another level of extremism cause of the lack of sensitivity that there's an actual breathing live person on the other side of the screen. Coming to the links that people attach to their posts and decide to post them, half the time I just think about the 15k notes from giving a visual from twitter that's not even their own content to begin with. Like yes, there are people who like erotica on the internet but in fandoms, its more of the literary work compared to a visual unless its drawn. and it makes me think how easy it was to make that and here you have some of us just... slogging it out or working hard on every line since it's more handmade compared to this. and what's weird is that authors seem to not pick up that queue and continue doing it. My opinion might seem harsh but it is what it is.

[dearweirdme]

Hi there! Thank you so much for the kind response to my lengthy ask earlier. You did not invalidate my feelings. Maybe this is all I need, someone to talk to. 😭 It's been really a tough couple of days for me, and I don't understand why. I'm confused mostly. I don't understand why I am so deeply invested and affected by this issue. Probably it's cause I woke up in the middle of the night, after only a roughly 4-hour sleep , to a chaotic twitter timeline! It was too much for me. I'm usually emotionally strong, but waking up to those videos and photos, taekookers denying it, taennies and jikookers celebrating, tae's biggest fanbases giving their all-out support without questioning the veracity of those videos and photos, and running high on hormones since I had my period back then, really got the best of me. lol. I was in denial at first, but, they looked too real to be just a mere rumor. Honestly though, I was still 10% waiting for the company and even Tae to deny it. lol. It's impossible, I know. I'm pretty certain that they won't react to it again, just like what they did last year. It's real now. We just have to live up to it. Whether it was a PR stunt, or it was Tae's idea to come out, guess we will never know. I'm coming to terms with it already. Still a little hurt coz damn! It's been a whole damn year that we've been trying to debunk those photos! lol

I know I don't have the right to feel betrayed since Tae is not responsible for how I feel, but I wish he came clean from the onset. It wasn't his responsibility to come clean, i know, but I wish, I dunno, I expected too much I guess. Guess majority of our heartaches comes from our own expectations. This is a lesson for me. I'm too attached to our boys, which I shouldn't be. I expend most of my waking moments with BTS for the past 5 years. Maybe it's time to lay low. It's affecting my personal life now. It's unhealthy. Also, what I feel is also because I've created this whole scenario of how BTS are. Guess we really don't know them after all. You are right, I need a social media break. It's messing with my head.

I'm sorry I'm ranting to you now. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My IRL friends wouldn't understand my feelings, and I'm so thankful that you were so kind and you understood exactly how I feel. In a 3rd person POV, what I'm going through now seems ridiculous, but I'm glad you understood me completely. My thoughts are a bit of a mess, so I'm just putting everything out here. Thank you for reading and responding so kindly. You don't know how much it helped me.

To the anon who said I was sltshming jennie, sorry it came off that way, but we see her videos and photos partying, so, in my own perspective, she's a bit carefree, wild, maybe that's what Tae's into. lol.

Again, thank you so much for this. Please let me camp in your inbox for a little bit more.

Hi again!

You are very welcome in my inbox, always. I understand completely how overwhelming things can be. When I was somewhat younger, I tended to get consumed by things also. I have done some deep diving into my own character and learned how to manage my emotions better. But I very well remember what it can feel like.

Fandom can be the source of great happiness, but also the source of great distress. Especcially when it comes to Army and BTS I feel. Both army and BTS pride themselves for having a strong connection. It is wonderfull really, but it can also be harmfull when something big happens. One of my personal favorite songs is Pied Piper (I mean come on, that one performance!) and I find the message of that song so strong and insightfull. It is at the same time any band or artists intention to lure in fans and to make them feel connected, but also that deep feeling of connection is what makes people cross mental, physical, or societal boundaries. I think it is something the members have struggled with a lot. And now, part of fandom is struggling a lot, because we feel connected to Tae and this is not what we expected of him.

I too was surprised by this. Did not see it coming at all. Fandom has been really tough (my inbox has only yesterday kind off stopped getting anonymous hate). People rile each other up, everyone want to be heard, everyone wants to get to the bottom of this. Uncertainty is a b*tch. Humans (and probably all living creatures) are not wired to deal with uncertainty. It's biologically speaking very logical. Safety is our basic instinct, and uncertainty goes against that. One might argue that this doesn't go for fandom situations, but to so many of us fandom is our safe place... so when something big like this happens, we feel less safe. Even if it doesn't logically make sense. You feel unsafe anon. You will start feeling safe again when you realise there is no actual danger.

Twitter is hot mess on any normal day, so on days like the last ones it completely unhinged. I only go there on occasion to see if there is any real news, but other than that... big nope. Too many people fighting for attention and a few seconds of social media fame. My safe place right now is Yoongi, I just love that man to pieces. So when I feel myself getting too caught up in things, I take myself away for a bit and settle down.

Know that most feelings are temporary. You will feel better in a week. Who knows what will happen next, might shift your whole perspective on this again.

Hope to hear from you again.

[aifastic]

Party Havoc

Hello, everyone! Sorry for the sudden income of fics but I’ve been delayed by life ;-; I'm proud to announce that I've been part of the wonderful At Ease, Soldier Zine! Everyone did an amazing job, the mods were delightful to work with and I'm really glad that I've been able to contribute. This was my piece!

I hope you enjoy it ♥ Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: T Characters: Soldier, Demoman, Engineer, Scout, Pyro, Sniper, Heavy, Medic, Spy, (RED team basically), Merasmus

Summary: The team organizes Soldier’s surprise birthday party. However, as it’s usually the case with the RED team, nothing goes according to plan.

Party Havoc

"So, is everyone here? No more, no less?" Demo asked, counting heads for the nth time.

"We're all here, pardner," Engineer reassured him, stopping him before anyone could protest—or set something on fire.

"And Soldier's busy outside! I took care of that," Scout said with a smirk. I don't want to know, Engineer thought, for his own sake.

"Perfect!" Demoman clapped his hands, grinning. "Let's get into business, lads: it's Soldier's birthday next week."

"Next week?" Scout counted with his fingers. "Isn't that near to the Fourth of July?"

"Exactly! Janey and I always celebrate his birthday on the fourth. Tradition, y'know."

Everyone nodded; after all, everything Soldier-related is even more of a mystery than Spy. No more than Pyro, though.

"So, what do we have to do?" asked Heavy, frowning.

"Aye! I have a list." Demoman retrieved a torn piece of one of Engineer's blue schematics paper, all scribbled in white chalk.

"Hey!" Engineer protested.

"It was the longest sheet of paper I could find." Demoman shrugged. "So: We have to choose from this list! Who wants to do what?"

Everyone leaned in to check the list.

"I'll get the food," Sniper said.

"If you think you will make us eat roasted lizard or whatever—ugh—roadkill you find—"

"Christ, I was just gonna drive to Teufort to get meat from the butcher!" Sniper cut Spy off, offended.

"Whatever," Scout said. "I'm gonna be in charge of the decorations!"

"Hmmmphmmph!" Pyro elbowed him.

"What? No way! I'm an artist—" Pyro stared at him. "On second thought, we both could do it."

"Hmmmph!" Pyro celebrated, hands up.

"Heavy will take care of gift. I have many Mann Co. coupons to use."

"Alright, that leaves us with… Hm… En gineer will be cooking," Medic declared, and everyone nodded in unison. "And um… I can get the drinks!"

"Uh, I was going to do that," Demoman said nervously.

"Nuh-huh!" Medic tut-tutted. "You," he pointed at him, then to the hastily scribbled last item on the list, "are going to do this."

"Nah," Demo said. Everyone stared at him. "Come on! The man hates me. I hate him. Can't we just not—"

"To be honest? I agree." Scout looked at him. "Why did you add it to the list?"

"I guess…" Demo sighed. "He seems important to Soldier. Somehow.” He threw his arms up in exasperation. “Oh, alright." He gave in. "I’ll do it.”

"Well, I guess that's it. Uh." Engineer hesitated, but they really needed to know sooner or later. "Where's Soldier, anyway?"

"Uh," Scout looked to the ceiling in avoidance. "Did you know that raccoons like sour cream? Like, a lot?"

"What the hell," Sniper said.

-----

Scout cleaned up the last remains of the mess that Soldier left when he was bathed in sour cream and the raccoons chased him all around the base. "I shouldn't have to do this," he complained. "They asked me to distract him!"

"Mmph mmphmmmphmmph."

"Well, yeah, not exactly but… Done!" He cleaned his hands on his clothes. "Man, we can finally start with the decorations. We should do a big poster! With 'Happy Birthday' on it." He looked at Pyro, a bit subdued. "Uh, by any chance, do you know how to spell it?"

Pyro shook his head.

"Damn it!"

-----

"What do you mean, 'there's no meat'?"

"Sorry!" squeaked the Teufort butcher. "There was a flu that killed all our provider's animals; we can't sell the meat in those conditions!"

"Bloody hell." Sniper put his hat back on and exited the shop. "What am I gonna tell everyone—? Hey!" A little kid eating a sandwich had just bumped into him. "Watch it!" The kid blew a raspberry at him.

Wait a minute. What if…?

-----

"What d'ya mean there's no meat?" Engineer asked Sniper, scratching his head. "What are we gonna do?"

"Well, I went to several places and bought these." He pointed at the back of his camper, filled with boxes of bread, tomatoes, cheese and lettuce, among other ingredients. "Think the big guy can make do with all these?"

-----

To the relief of Engineer and Sniper, Heavy nodded. "Some ingredients missing, but Heavy can do this."

"Thank you, big fella," Engineer said. "We all know who's the best here at sandwich making."

"Thank you." Heavy said. Then he asked, somewhat sheepishly: "Can you help me with gift? I think I made mistake. Ordered too many?"

"Too many?"

"I thought you added coupons together for big discount. It seems it is one coupon, one item."

"Oh. Oh." Engineer said.

"Too many of what?" Sniper asked again.

------

Spy was busy figuring out a way to distract Soldier, as per his task. Soldier was already antsy with all the unexplained movement. "He's paranoid," Spy reasoned. "I could give him another reason to be." He grinned, donning his BLU Spy disguise.

-----

"Ach, I forgot I have been banned out of town!!" Medic yelled, driving Engineer's truck out of Teufort like a maniac, bottles of beer clinking against one another on the back as a mob chased him away.

-----

"For the last time, you bloody bastard!" Demoman yelled. "You are important to Soldier, so you will come!"

"MERASMUS SHALL NOT!" The wizard levitated, making things fly all around them. "SOLDIER IS NOTHING BUT A NUISANCE TO ME! HE SHALL NOT HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! EVER!" He abruptly stopped, catching himself. "Look what you made Merasmus do! My room is ruined. NOW BEGONE!"

-----

Demoman appeared at the base, falling over the cake Engineer was decorating.

"Bloody hell!" Demo cursed, smashing one fist on the icing-covered floor.

"I hope you have good news because I swear to God, I'm counting down to ten right now," Engineer said.

"I…" Demoman started cautiously.

"It was the third cake."

"... What happened to the others?"

Engineer deflated. "Pyro burned the first one while chasing Scout due to 'artistic differences,' and the second one was 'borrowed' by Medic in order to use it for self-defense against a Teufort man who was chasing him with a fork."

"Woah, that's… Do I want to know?"

Engineer sighed. "Hell no."

"Alright, so Merasmus isn't coming."

"Well, I guess it's better for us, anyway," Engineer said honestly. "It means less trouble."

"I guess so."

They sat on the kitchen floor, taking a breather.

"At least we still have five days left."

Engineer looked oddly at him. "Demo, it's July 4."

"Wait, what? How?!" He thought back of Merasmus. "That bloody wizard made me time travel, bloody hell!"

"Well, the thing is, you're gonna have to help me make another cake in record time."

Demo wiped a hand down his face.

-----

"What does it say there?"

"Don't mess with me! It clearly says 'Happy Birthday'!"

"I wish," Sniper said, squinting at the letters. "This is a 'b' instead of a 'd,' the 'p's look like 'f's…"

"Oh, shut up," Scout muttered, turning beet red. "I bet he doesn't even notice."

"Hmmph hmmph," Pyro told him in consolation.

"Sandviches ready," Heavy announced.

"Awesome. How's the cake going?"

"We're running out of icing!"

"Try to economize it—apply it only on key areas, not on the whole surface."

"Thanks a lot, Doc. What'd ya think we've been doing?!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't crushed the fourth cake—"

"It was an accident, I swear!"

"Guns are arriving."

"Guns?!"

Engineer sighed. "Heavy wanted to gift Soldier something practical. He bought one too many killstreak guns."

"Black Box. Practical. Effective."

"Loaded. Those weapons come loaded."

"Bah. We have ammunition all around the base. Nothing's gonna happen," Scout reasoned

"I hope so," Demo said. He went back to applying icing to the cake but he abruptly stopped. "Wait, where’s Spy?"

"Distracting—"

The wall of the main hall suddenly exploded, debris flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared they all saw a bunch of Black Boxes scattered on the floor, next to Soldier who was choking… was that BLU Spy?

"I finally got you, maggot! Your days of playing hide-and-seek are over!" Spy's disguise disappeared and revealed his true features. "Wait, what?"

A chunk of the ceiling fell onto the (fifth) cake.

"Surprise!" Scout yelled, waving at the poster that proudly announced… 'naffy dirdbay.'

"Yaayy," said everyone with different degrees of enthusiasm. Engineer was too broken to say anything, staring in despair at the place where the cake used to be.

Soldier threw Spy to the side. "You remembered my birthday!"

"How could we forget, Janey," Demo said, putting him in a headlock.

Spy coughed loudly a few meters away from the floor.

"You put a lot of effort in this and I couldn't be prouder of you! Every single one of you is an honor to America!"

"We're glad you liked it, mate."

"Hmmph hmmmph!"

"Uh, we had cake but—"

"Please don't say anything else about it," Engineer muttered.

They were all going to grab their sandwiches when a puff of green smoke filled the room.

"Oh god, now what?"

"MORTALS!"

"Merasmus!" Soldier grinned. "You came to celebrate!"

"Not at all! I came to RIGHT YOUR WRONGS!" Merasmus's voice echoed in everyone's ears. He took from between his robes a birth certificate. "This impostor's birthday is in MAY!"

"What?!"

"I WILL MAKE YOU SWALLOW YOUR WORDS, MERASMUS!"

"MAKE ME IF YOU CAN, SOLDIER! MAY DESPAIR RAIN UPON ALL OF YOU!"

"... Alright, fellas, what about we kick this son of a gun's behind?"

"Hell yeah." Everyone nodded and ran to get their supplies.

-----

"BEST! BIRTHDAY! EVER!" yelled Soldier as he spun around in a hurricane that Merasmus commanded, shooting rockets at him with one of his many new killstreak Black Boxes.

"Happy birthday, Soldier," everyone yelled back, grinning despite themselves.

[o0anapher0o]

I'm constantly torn between horror and astonishment about how utterly vile some people get about things that haven't happened yet and never may. How do you have such strong opinions on the events of a show that hasn't aired yet. At least wait until you actually know what to be upset about before getting the pitchforks out.

I know, I know that would require rational though and that's not what we're here for, but I will honestly never understand why some people take so much pleasure in being angry, especially about things that aren't even a thing yet. How do you lot not get ulcers?

[artzee-bee]

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it. 

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”

[scuttling]

Those Who Wait

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader Word Count: 4,985 Tags: 18+, Loss of virginity, Insecure reader, Fingering, Protected sex Summary: When you let it slip to the team that you've never had sex, they make it their mission to help you find someone who will make your dreams a reality. *Requested by anons!

Link to A03 or read below! “I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this, but I am not a virgin,” Spencer says, palms up, and it’s clear this is something he’s reminded the team of on more than one occasion. You’re on the jet on the way home from a case, all of you gathered around chattering mindlessly to decompress, with the exception of Hotch, who is in his usual seat, working on his computer.

“And I never said I was talking about you,” you reply, with a tone just shy of smartass. You regret bringing it up already, because this will open the door to a topic you did not want to discuss with the team, ever, but you can’t put the cat back in the bag.

“Hold on. Are you…?” Emily grins a little, but her face drops into a frown when she notices the change in your demeanor, the tension in your shoulders. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, at all.”

“You’re a virgin? Really? You’re almost thirty,” Morgan says, leaning forward to look at you, and you nod, shrug. “Is it a religious thing? Saving yourself for marriage?” You scoot back in your seat, blow out a breath, use the casual posture to try to mask your discomfort.

“Nope, it’s not a religious thing. I’m just waiting for someone who’s worth it.”

“If you’re waiting for the perfect person,” JJ says, folding forward, hands clasped in front of her, “you’re going to be waiting forever.”

You sigh, because this is exactly the reason you didn’t want to bring this up.

“I’m not waiting for the perfect person. For a long time, I didn’t have time to date, and I was—you know, satisfied, without it, so it wasn’t an issue.” Your cheeks heat a little when you say it, and you rub a hand over the back of your neck. “But lately I’ve kind of shifted toward wanting to have sex, to find someone to make the connection with. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I do have standards.”

“Don’t put pressure on yourself to do it. You’ve waited this long, why rush into things?” Emily says with a soft smile, and you reciprocate, grateful.

“I actually think it might be better if she just goes for it,” Morgan disagrees. Why aren’t you surprised? “Get it in, get it on, and get it over with. Then you won’t feel like it’s hanging over your head.”

“I’m trying. It’s not that I’m not trying. I’m going on dates; they’re all just really, really bad dates—like, the worst I’ve ever been on.”

“How many dates?” JJ asks with an arched brow, and you grimace.

“In the last month? Twelve.” Morgan laughs out loud, and you kind of want to punch him.

“Twelve first dates in the last month and you can’t get laid? Where are you finding these guys?”

“This stupid dating app Garcia convinced me to sign up for. They all seem fine on their profiles—”

“Oh, no, you can’t go by their profiles. Complete bullshit,” Emily says, and you throw your hands up in frustration.

“How else am I supposed to know what they’re like? They’re strangers.”

“Your first time shouldn’t be with a stranger.” You’re a little surprised when it’s Spencer who chimes in; everyone turns to look at him. “You’re a lot like me, and I know that I was nervous and insecure, and waiting for the right person made it a really great experience for me. I think you should wait for someone you know will make it meaningful.”

“She’s going to be waiting ‘til she’s eighty,” Morgan says with a grin, but he pats you on the back. “And if you do, I guess that’s okay. Not every guy can be a catch like yours truly.”

“Oh, spare us,” JJ says with a laugh, and you move on to other topics for the rest of the flight.

When you go to grab your luggage before heading back to the office, it’s just you and Hotch left on the jet; he’s been quiet for most of the trip, but when he steps up next to you, he says your name, low, to get your attention.

“I just wanted you to know, you deserve to be treated well… your first time. You should wait for someone you know will make it meaningful, like Reid said.” You just look at him for a moment, not sure what to say.

Part of you knows what you want to say. You want to say, is it worth it? You want to say, how will I know? You want to say, would you make it meaningful?

What you say is, “Thanks, Hotch.” He nods, hands you your bag, then takes his, closes the luggage compartment; he gestures for you to go ahead of him, and the two of you exit the plane.

You all go back to the office. Everyone hangs around for a few minutes, but Hotch goes up to his office, turns on the lights, sits down at his desk, and takes off his jacket. He’s in for a long night, then. You’re just getting ready to leave when Garcia strolls over, bag in hand.

“Hey, girl. How was that date the other night? Haven’t gotten to talk to you about anything other than murder the last few days.” She notices that your eyes are on Hotch’s office, looks up at him and back down at you. “Is everything okay, hon?” The concern in her voice snaps you out of it, and you look to her, smile.

“Yeah, everything’s okay. The date was not, though. I’ll walk out with you.” You grab your things, throw your jacket over your arm, and take one last look up at Hotch’s office before making your way to the parking garage. You go on seven more dates over the course of three weeks that are a complete waste of time and effort. Who knew having what you consider relatively basic standards would make losing your virginity so goddamn difficult? You know you’re not a knockout like JJ or Emily, and sometimes your nerves get the best of you, but you’ve been pretty charming, funny, all dolled up and putting out clear, but not desperate, DTF vibes.

The longer your quest drags on, the more embarrassing it gets. It actually becomes a part of the morning meeting: as soon as you enter the briefing room each day, Morgan raises his eyebrows, and you shake your head. He’s keeping a tally. You want to die a little bit.

Finally, you’re sitting at home one evening when you get the call from JJ that you’ll be heading to Miami for a case first thing the next morning. You thank her for letting you know, but before she hangs up, she says, “Bring a dress, something sexy. If we have an extra night, we’re going to a club and getting you laid.”

You stammer, a little embarrassed at the directness, but you pack a short, light, red dress, something appropriate for a humid Miami night, on the off chance you’ll actually get to go out.

The case is solved in a day and a half, and you are going to stay the night again, so JJ and Emily make it their mission to get you ready for a night out, and Morgan and Spencer make it their mission to scope out your potential partners and check for red flags before you even get close to them.

It’s sweet, kind of wholesome, when you ignore the fact they’re trying to get you fucked.

You have a drink at the outdoor bar, try to loosen up a little; the place is swarming with gorgeous, supermodel looking women with very little clothing on, breasts and ass everywhere you turn, and you feel inadequate, self-conscious in your little red dress. You freaking hate Miami.

You get glances from Morgan and Spencer, nudges of encouragement from Emily and JJ—even Hotch is around somewhere, part of the red flag detail, which you hadn’t expected—and you’re so close to giving up when a song comes on that you know and absolutely love.

Sex is outside your realm of knowledge, but dancing you can do, and you wrap your hand around Emily’s wrist and tell her you want to. JJ takes your drinks, sets them on the table, and the three of you head out to the dance floor.

It’s clear they didn’t expect much of your dancing, because they looked surprised as hell that you know how to work your body to the music, putting your arms on JJ’s shoulders and moving against her. She looks up, grins at Emily over your head, and cocks her eyebrow, impressed.

“Not that innocent after all,” she says, and you toss your head lightly, laugh.

“Said I was a virgin, not that I was innocent.” The three of you dance together, and you’re approached by several guys who try to get behind you, in between you, closer anyway they can. JJ and Emily are selective with who they entertain and who they give the brush off, and you’re grateful, because despite the outcome, you’re having a good time, and you never would have done this alone.

Eventually, a man comes over, wants to dance with you specifically; the girls exchange looks, give you a nudge, and you put your arms around his neck, let him rest his hands on your hips.

He’s pretty hot, you have to admit, a little under six feet tall, with dark hair and eyes and a nice smile, and dancing against him feels good. If it’s any indication of what if would be like to have sex with him, you’d let him take you home in a heartbeat. Of course, it’s been pre-planned that you’ll go back to your room upstairs if you hook up, so your people are nearby in case anything goes wrong; it’s maybe a little weird, the thought of your coworkers being cheerleaders while you lose your virginity, but what about this isn’t weird? At this point, you’re just going with the flow.

This guy is nice enough, doesn’t go straight for your ass like other guys you danced with, but you can’t help feeling like something’s missing; you pull back, get his attention so you can tell him thanks for the dance, but you’re going to go back to your friends.

You don’t get a chance to say that, because you’re guided away from him by two strong hands on your waist. You turn, ready to tell someone off for getting handsy with you, but it’s Hotch, so the defensive posture you’d slipped into softens.

“Oh, hey. What’s going on? Is everything okay?” you ask loudly; his expression is serious, his brows pulled down in a frown. He shakes his head, leans in closer.

“I can’t let you go through with that—with him,” Hotch says in your ear, still hard to hear over the thrum of the music, and you put your hand on his shoulder, lean up so you can speak into his.

“What? Why not?” you ask, breathless from dancing and the heat. “JJ and Emily thought he seemed alright.” You didn’t actually want to go through with it, but that’s not important at the moment, not when Hotch is clearly trying to get some kind of point across.

“It’s not that, I just—you deserve better.” You frown, not sure you heard him right, and one of the hands on your waist moves lower; he presses you closer. “I don’t know if you would consider it, but I could do it. I could be the one.”

“The one?” you breathe. You need to hear him say it to confirm it’s not all in your head, that you aren’t taking anything out of context.

“The one you sleep with. The one to show you how good it can be. The one who will treat you well.”

You take a step back, have to see his face; is this pity, kindness, genuine interest? Because for the last few weeks, after every bad date, you’ve come back to the thought of Hotch kissing you, touching you, taking you apart. You know his hands are capable, you know he is kind and gentle, and it’s only the thought of him that keeps you from leaving with the first guy to show you attention. You’re so frustrated, never more desperate to feel than you have been since he told you you deserved something good.

He swallows when you look up at him, and your heart races.

“If you want to, I want to. No pressure if you don’t,” he assures you. What he’s saying is so unexpected, but so perfect, and you nod, wet your lips, lean back up on your toes to put your mouth to his ear.

“I want to. I trust you.” Feeling bold, you brush a hand over the back of his head, press your lips to the side of his neck. “Please?”

“Are you sure?” He sounds as tense as you feel, holds you tightly, like he needs to make sure this is really happening. You cling to him just as tightly, nod your head against his throat, and he squeezes your waist, ushers you across the crowded patio and inside the cool air of the hotel. You both sigh, because it’s quieter, more comfortable, and your gaze lingers over his body until he pulls you in for a gentle kiss.

You’ve done your fair share of kissing, and Hotch is so good at it, his hands on your face, his lips softer than you would have imagined, but firm in the way they press against yours. When the kiss breaks, you bring your hands to his wrists, breathing heavily, and then lean in to follow up with a kiss of your own.

He smiles softly, and you smile back, then slip your hand into his and let him lead you to the elevator. You’re not sure if it’s the night of dancing, the heat, the thrill of not only having sex after waiting so long, but having sex with Hotch, or what, but you feel changed; you’re a grown adult, you know that losing your virginity doesn’t mean much, doesn’t change who you are fundamentally, but the thought of experiencing it gives you a stomach full of butterflies in the best way possible.

“Would you like to go to my room, or yours?” he asks when you board the elevator, and he presses the button for the third floor. You plan to say it doesn’t really matter to you, but a thought crosses your mind.

“We can go to mine. I have condoms.” You’re not shy about using protection, know it’s just plain stupid not to, when you've been essentially searching for a new partner whose sexual and medical history you know little to nothing about, but telling Hotch makes your face heat a little. “I bought a variety pack—you know, when I started going on the dates.”

“Good. That’s good,” he says, nodding, and then he bends to kiss you, brushes his fingers over your jaw. “How are you feeling? Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Good,” you clarify. You feel so much better than okay you barely know how to say it, but there is one thing you didn’t think to ask before. “Hey, are you… are you attracted to me?” You look him over curiously, and the elevator dings; you step forward to get off, walk down the hall, but Hotch puts his hand out to stop the door, which stops you.

“I’m attracted to you. You’re gorgeous, and ever since you mentioned on the jet that this was something you were looking forward to… I can’t deny I’ve thought about being the one you share it with. Are you attracted to me?” You wet your lips, ready to reply with an emphatic yes, but he must take it for hesitation. “I understand why you want to do this, but if you aren’t attracted to me—it’s important that you want this with me, not just that you want this. I don’t want us to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.”

His words make you lose a little of the nervousness you were still holding onto, and you decide to show, not tell, how you feel about him; you wrap your fingers in his shirt and guide him down for a kiss that is hotter than before, still soft and slow, but wet and deep, too. After a moment, the elevator dings—likely due to the door remaining open for so long—and you break apart, breathless, and exit the elevator to head down the hall to your room.

Your interaction isn’t exactly awkward at first, but a little stilted: you both take off your shoes, and you grab waters from the mini fridge, hand him one and take a long sip of the other. It’s almost as if you are delaying the inevitable, but it’s not because this isn’t something you want to do; if pressed, you’d say the idea of having this time with Hotch is actually something you want to savor, not rush into too quickly. You aren’t delaying, but prolonging, and eventually you have to snap yourself out of it and just enjoy what you have while you have it.

You cross the room, walk over to him, and put your hands on his stomach, look up at him with clear eyes. His fingers ghost over your bare arms, and for a moment you just share breath, a lingering stare, until you stretch up to meet him in the middle for a deep kiss.

Hotch moves his hands to your hair, tips your head up, and you wind your arms around his back, pulling him closer and stepping forward until his legs hit the foot of the bed. He is warm, broad, solid beneath your hands, and you push them up the back of his shirt, skim them over his skin.

“Can I take this off?” you breathe when you separate, and he nods, helps you work it over his head and drops it to the floor.

Your hands rest on his stomach again, glide up his chest, and when you kiss this time, he turns you so your back faces the bed, eases you onto it. He lays between your legs, kisses until you’re both panting with need, and when you lean your head back to catch your breath he moves his mouth to your neck, trails it slowly up, then down, softly bites at the base of your throat. You hum softly, clutch his shoulders, bring your knees up around his waist.

“God, I want you.” He pulls back, looks down at you, his chest heaving, and you nod, brush fingers through his hair. “I want you, Hotch. Please touch me.”

He begins with the slow drag of big, careful hands down the outsides of your thighs, over your hips, pushing your dress up around your waist. You can’t stop looking at his face, serious and handsome, even though the rest of him is perfect too; you like that he looks affected by this, like it means something to him as well, like you’re not alone in feeling a bit overwhelmed. He moves his hands to the soft insides of your thighs, squeezes them, then leans up on his knees so he can pull your panties off, sets them on the bed beside him.

“I’m just going to rub. Tell me if it’s too much, not enough.” He curls over you for a kiss and slides his fingers along your pussy, three of them, long and thick. You close your eyes immediately, because the first touch is so good, his fingertips gliding through your slick and spreading it over your lips and clit; you are both breathing heavily, mouths hovering over each other, and you clutch at his biceps while he rubs where you are soft and aching.

It’s not that it’s not enough—you could get off this way, easily, you’re halfway there already—but you want more, imagine yourself clamping down around his fingers, digging your nails into him when you come.

“Can you…” You trail off, bite your lip, and he smooths a palm over your cheek, your hair.

“Ask me. Tell me what you want, sweetheart. I want to give it to you.” A soft, needy noise leaves your throat, and he presses his lips to yours, slips the pads of two fingers over your clit, rubs circles against it. “Is it this? Is this what you want?” You wet your lips, think no but yes, move a hand to his face.

“Can you put your fingers inside me? I want to feel you inside.” Your voice trembles over it, not used to being so direct, not used to asking for what you want, and his answering kiss is deep, wet; he pulls back to look at your face as he presses one finger inside, and you feel your expression shift, from desperate to intensely pleasured, your mouth open, eyes wide. “Hotch, oh.” He pulls it out slowly, nearly all the way, and pushes it back in, rubs your cheek, brushes his thumb over your lips.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” Good is an understatement, and you clench around him, slide your hands down his forearms, nod. “Good. It’s okay if you’re just quiet, but if you’re nervous about how you’ll sound, don’t be. I’d like to hear how you’re feeling.” Another reason to feel so good about this—because you are self-conscious of the way you’ll sound, and you should have known he would pick up on it, try to ease your insecurities. You wet your lips, nod, and he moves the finger slowly in and out, adds another when you ask him to.

“Mmm. Mmm.” You bring a hand to your covered breast, squeeze it, and he moves to push your dress up further, to bare it, maybe, but you tense, then instantly feel silly.

“What is it?” he asks gently, running his hand over your stomach instead, and your muscles relax, you sigh.

“Just a little self-conscious… about my breasts—especially after everything I saw downstairs,” you say, huffing a laugh, and he chuckles, nods.

“Miami is a bit much. But you’re so beautiful, sweetheart, just as you are, and it’s clear they bring you pleasure. If you’ll let me, I’d like to take your dress off all the way, touch them… kiss them.” The prospect sounds so tempting—your nipples are sensitive beneath your own hands, but under his? His mouth?

Your breathing picks up again, and you nod, rest your arms over your head so he can pull it up and off. You swallow, trembling and bare beneath him, and he steps off of the bed to push the rest of his clothes off, too; you know you feel vulnerable, so maybe he sensed it, wanted to make you more comfortable? Either way, he is gorgeous, and you’re so grateful to be doing this with him.

“Where are the condoms?” he asks, bending over the edge of the bed to kiss you with a hand on your cheek. You direct him to your bag, and he opens the box, takes out the one he needs, walks back to you; you lean up on your elbows to watch him intently as he tears the package open, rolls it onto his cock. When he climbs on top of you again, when he pushes your knees gently apart and makes himself at home between them, you shudder; you can feel his dick for the first time, hard against your thigh, and he leans in to kiss your throat, your shoulders, and eventually, your breasts.

His mouth covers one, his hand covers the other, and you gasp when his lips close around your nipple, suck softly. “Hotch, oh my god.” You lift your hips, looking for contact, and he removes the hand from your breast, uses it to line his cock up so it can slide over your pussy as you rock against him, wet, perfect pressure, as he pulls your breast more roughly into his mouth, nibbles it.

You arch your back, pushing your chest closer to him, and he moans, slowly glides his hands over your throat, into your hair. He shifts the angle of his hips, and he slips out from between you, making you sigh at the loss. Now that you’ve felt him, it’s maddening to be without, and you wet your lips, touch his face.

“I’m ready.” He leans in to kiss your cheeks, your chin, rubs his nose softly against yours, and you meet for a deep, slow, wet kiss.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Please.” You move your hands to his waist, guide him closer, and he pushes slowly inside, lets you get used to the stretch it brings. It just feels good, not really a new sensation, since you’ve put toys inside before, but he is so much thicker, more satisfying to feel along your sensitive channel, his body warm on top of yours.

“How does it feel?” he murmurs, lips grazing yours, and you curl your hand around the back of his neck, just kiss him, enjoy the fullness and the slide of his tongue.

“So good. You can move,” you say, and your voice sounds strained, but it’s with arousal, not discomfort. You hitch your knees up higher, put your hands on his arms, pull him in so he’ll know that. “Want to feel you, Hotch.” You share breath for a few moments, and then he pulls back and thrusts forward, repeats it a few times, slow and steady, looking into your eyes.

You moan, carefully roll your hips in time with his, and he pumps inside a little deeper, a little quicker. You grip his arms, move your hands to his face, unsure what part of him you want to touch, anchor yourself against. He leans down for a kiss and you press your fingers to his cheeks, kiss him more passionately, less timidly than you’ve been so far. He groans against your mouth, and you pant as your bodies work together; it’s almost instinctual, the need to take him deeper, to meet, thighs hard against each other.

“Are you okay?” he asks, sliding his hands over your sides, hips, and you nod, gasp when he shifts up, gets his mouth on your breast again, kisses it wetly while his cock glides inside. That’s enough to have you moaning, loudly, head back, your hands on his body now, to feel his muscles flex while he thrusts inside you.

“Hotch, oh. Feels so good, I—” He bites down, lightly, just the edge of his teeth, and your legs snap tight against his body, shaking while you come around him. “Oh, oh. Mmm.” Your muscles contract so hard he grunts, your pussy all but trapping him there, and he grinds against you, grips your thighs.

“So perfect. You feel so good coming for me, so tight.” You ride out the pleasure, rolling your hips against his, and when you’re a little looser he thrusts again, slides an arm behind yours, his hand carefully around the back of your neck, kisses you until he comes, groaning, in your ear.

You look up at him as he gathers himself, wets his lips, and you curl around him for a hug; he holds you tightly, rubs gentle palms over your body, murmurs that you’re incredible and he hopes you know that was special. It's the connection you were looking for, intimacy, and you are so incredibly happy you found it, even if you did find it in the unlikeliest of places.

You lay together for a few minutes before he pulls out, ties off the condom, takes it into the bathroom, and then you go in to pee. You look yourself over in the mirror—again, fully aware that losing your virginity changes almost nothing—but you can’t help feeling like a missing piece has locked into place.

If makes you wonder if the missing piece maybe wasn’t sex, but Hotch.

When you head back into the other room, you expect him to be dressed, or at least getting dressed, but he’s laying back on the bed, covers turned down, body still bare—what you can see of him is bare, anyway, because crisp white sheets cling to his waist, make him look only that much more delicious as he waits for you.

You suddenly ache with desire again, touch your chest at the rush of emotion, of sensation, and then you climb on the bed, slip into his lap, kiss him again. This time it’s different, because your lips and tongue are all saying what you can’t, and it’s intimate, passionate, vulnerable, intense.

Except, maybe you can say it, because he kisses back just as furiously, and it translates into something as strong as what you’re feeling, his hands on your face and lower back holding you close.

“I want you,” he whispers, looking into your eyes, and you’re panting hard, desperate for more. “Not just tonight—I want every night to feel like tonight. I know you weren’t planning for anything more than this, but if you like, maybe I could take you to dinner when we get back. We could see if there’s something more?” He looks nervous, like the offer won’t be well received, but you just nod, smile, lean close for a gentler brush of lips.

“I’d really like that. I don’t want to only feel like this tonight.”

You kiss a little more, softer, sweeter things, eventually moving from his lap to curl against his side; the two of you cuddle, talk—it’s not awkward in the slightest, just feels right, and you drift to sleep warm and content in his arms.

Maybe Miami’s not so bad after all.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream

[stellocchia]

Since I really enjoyed yesterday's stream I decided to do one of my overly long analysis on it

So, here's my analysis of (DSMP LORE) Healthy Competition

Dialogues will be color-coded as usual, so here's what I used: Phil, Wilbur, Ranboo

As always I am incapable of brevity, so everything's under the cut

The stream starts with a conversation between Phil and Wilbur in which Wilbur admits that he hasn't been to visit Phil in a while, which makes Phil's later threat about throwing him out feel that much more ridiculous since Wilbur clearly doesn't really live with him either way...

"Alright, it's got one for Phil, one for Ranboo, and one for Techno. Is that all that live here? Just you three?" "Yep, just us three, just chilling"

The only reason why I'm singling this out is that it was right after the mention of Techno's birthday and Wilbur was pointing at the seats occupied by the 4 members of the Syndicate so it feels slightly weird that Niki wasn't mentioned at all. But also it's technically not a lie, she doesn't live there and she only comes around for the Syndicate meetings.

Another thing to add is that Wilbur did notice the chest Ranboo left for him and consciously decided to ignore it.

"I must admit I've come to you with a bit of a- a bit of a proposition. You're into propositions Phil? Are you a bit of a 'propositions' kinda guy?" "Oh, depends, depends. You- you've had some pretty... let- let's just say, uh- not- not a great track record on propositions that you've had in the past" "Alright... I mean, I'm trying to move past that"

I wonder what exactly Phil is referring to here. Because, like, Wilbur did bad things, don't get me wrong, but what's his track record with "propositions" in particular? Because he isn't talking about "Tommy, let's be the bad guys" here since he doesn't know about that. Is he talking about Wilbur founding L'Manburg? But then again, I don't think Wilbur interpreted it that way. I think that, from Wilbur's reaction, he clearly interpreted it as a jab at him exploding L'Manburg (which is the one thing he's trying to move past) which would be extremely hypocritical from Phil since he did the exact same thing but worse.

Also, I really do think that Wilbur is trying to move forward. He's lonely and he has the lowest possible opinion of himself so it doesn't feel weird that he'd want to move on. He isn't putting the work in it right now and he hasn't really changed, but he does seem to want to (though I think he may not know how).

"He [Quackity] didn't seem afraid of me, which is cool. Not many people- I mean you don't seem afraid of me. You aren't afraid of me, are you Phil?" (little look into Wilbur's mind and his fear of isolation once again. And this is fear of isolation, he's worried that other people are afraid of him and therefore are only waiting for him to step out of line so that all their fears would be confirmed)

"'Cause I'm not afraid of you [Phil]" (bold words for someone who spent who knows how long lying to his dad because of a crippling fear of disappointment...)

"Technoblade spent his entire time taking down the establishments, what he left is, as predicted, a power vacuum for a new establishment to come in" (in case it wasn't obvious, Wilbur is not the biggest fan of anarchy. And he actually got this one criticism spot on, indeed all taking down L'Manburg did was getting 4 new governmental-like structures to sprout in its place)

"Phil, I want to make a burger van" *Phil sighs and walks away* (I'm more sure now that Phil really meant "creating L'Manburg" as Wilbur's bad track record with propositions)

Wilbur repeating 4 times that he has no ulterior motive with the burger van managed to make me think the exact opposite. That said that ulterior motive may just be to create a safe little home for himself and Tommy for all we know honestly. Also, the whole thing with Phil trying to convince his grown-ass kid to go play with the neighbor kid and Wilbur throwing a tantrum in response was hilarious...

"If he's [Ranboo] shit you gotta come help me okay? If he's shit you've gotta come be burger boy with me, okay?" (he still is mistrustful to an extreme and pretty childish admittedly)

"Why is he [Phil] treating me like a kid?! Why is he treating me like a little baby?" (remembering how Wilbur treated Fundy I think it may be a family problem)

Another interesting thing to point out is that Wilbur was openly scared of the spider attacking him here, and fights it off, but he doesn't move away from the explosion later on and he didn't move away from the exploding creepers last stream. Other people already made this connection, but I do think it may be a sort of way to punish himself. Specifically, it's brought up later on that he thinks he got off easy for what he did, so he's using what he hurt others with (explosions) to hurt himself now as a sort of punishment for that. Which is another indication of just how much his stay in Limbo didn't help with his mental health.

"Am I being- is this [Ranboo having both cows and wheat] a setup?" (the paranoia never left)

"Ranboo I'm gonna go out on a limb here: do- do you wanna be friends?" "Su-sure yeah, I don't see why not" (I think that at this point it was still just Wilbur following along with what his dad told him to do and trying to find out more about Ranboo. That does seem to change later down the line)

"And then we decided that it [the 'cookie' outpost] was too much trouble so we kinda just left it" (So we have confirmation that the cookie outpost was abandoned)

"We're not gonna annoy Quackity" "That's good" "We can't annoy- we can't annoy him because we're simply put- we're simply put gonna be making...- I got the real estate! He's giving me the area and we're gonna be making a competing business"

Wilbur says this as if he wasn't perfectly aware that this would annoy the sh*t out of Quackity. As if the point of it wasn't exactly to annoy Quackity. Or well, annoying him isn't the end goal, it's just the means to an end. We don't know the actual end goal (though I think Wilbur still wants to either be let into Las Nevadas or actually instate a rivalry between them as he said, one of the two).

"We [he and Quackity] were a part of the same cabinet during New L'Manburg or whatever" "Cabinet?" "Yeah a cabinet is like-" "Was this- was this with Tubbo?" "Yeah yeah" (...) "So you were part of the old L'Manburg? I didn't know that actually, I thought you were a bit of an independent"

Once again: Wilbur is missing A LOT of knowledge. He wasn't aware that New L'Manburg had a cabinet and he wasn't aware that Ranboo was ever part of the country either. He has a lot of misconceptions about what happened during the time he was dead so it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that his views on a lot of things are as warped as they are. Wilbur is getting to his conclusions with an incomplete and sometimes wrong set of data.

"Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?" "Not too much I don't think. I mean there are other people I don't, like, agree with what they've done of course, but I think that everyone is just a product of what they've gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand the person!"

There is nothing inherently wrong with Ranboo's reasoning here. It's true that most people are a result of their environment and, once you understand what they've been through you can understand them better as a person. It's also fine that he personally doesn't want to hold grudges. But that way of thinking isn't applicable to those who have been hurt by others, sure they can reach an understanding, but an understanding of a person doesn't justify shit and doesn't change shit unless that person works towards repairing old broken relationships. It just all sounds like a nice way of thinking about things in theory, but in practice, it just takes away responsibility from those who have wronged others to fix things and moves it to those who have been wronged. (Ranboo isn't advocating for everyone to think that way though, but I know the fandom will).

Either way, they arrive in Las Nevadas and Wilbur talks about how their place doesn't benefit the consumer and puts down 3 signs.

"I've been trying to think of a name for it [his and Tommy's area], I'm thinking about 'Paradise'"

There are two possible reasons for the name that I can think of:

1) It's in reference to Las Nevadas itself and how Las Nevadas is based on Las Vegas, the famous city of sin

2) It could be a reference to Tommy insistently calling Las Nevadas Paradise in the last stream and Wilbur trying to convince him that their place is the true Paradise

Wilbur does decide to make the Burger Van right at the border which really feels like a very obvious provocation. The other thing is that he makes it clear that he wants the van to be red and white which could be a random choice, but really feels like a reference to Tommy (since they are famously his colors) or an imitation of their opposition. Or both considering how much Tommy liked the restaurant of the opposition and the fact that Wilbur is still trying to convince him to stay.

"I'm not very fond of blue" (at this point it's obvious that Wilbur has quite a bit of pent-up animosity against Ghostbur. I wonder if it is because it still feels like people liked the ghost more than him...)

"Like, the Cookie Shop, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop, to begin with, because it was a little... fortified if I'm entirely honest, I realize that now" "Really?" "Yeah did you not see- oh wait- that giant stone structure?" (Ranboo really did fail to realize that the cookie shop was actually a military outpost, huh?)

"See, I like Tubbo. He's strong-headed, he doesn't let people push him around, you know?" (this is both an interesting change in what he thinks of Tubbo if he actually thinks that and further confirmation that Wilbur isn't a fan of people he considers to be 'followers')

"Why do you claim that you're so 'peaceful' and 'neutral' and yet somehow appear in almost every conflict this server's had since I died?" (since I saw people claiming this is manipulation already, just know that it isn't. He's just confused because, admittedly, Ranboo is a confusing guy and Wilbur doesn't really know him at all)

"Ranboo, why did you come to help me?" (...) "And then also I just think, you know... you can, you know- I think- I think you're an alright person, you know? So I wanna- I did kinda wanna get off on a better foot with you then what happened-" "Why?" "Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me" "Nonononono not the bit about the right foot, the 'why don't you think I'm a bad person'" "Well I mean, I think that you did bad things, but like, I think that you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you've changed now (...) but I think that now you've- apparently you've been away long enough that I think that if anyone goes away for that long eventually they'll have a thought about their morality and everything and maybe become a better person because of it"

I know this quote was absurdly long, but it is one of the most interesting conversations of the whole stream and it is really important and it tells us quite a bit as well. For one thing Wilbur was left quite emotional from someone simply admitting that he's an "alright person" and that they think he's capable of changing and this does bring him to open up to Ranboo right after. What Ranboo says to be exact is that anyone would have changed after going through what Wilbur went through and that change could be positive and while I completely disagree with it, it's clearly something that Wilbur needed to hear.

Now as to why I disagree with the notion that 13 years of semi-complete isolation could change anyone for the better should be rather obvious. But if it isn't, well, that's torture to put it simply. Psychological torture. Just like abuse it's one of those things that only cause trauma and a worsening mental health state and we see this with Wilbur because he didn't change, he only became more self-deprecating. Hurting someone doesn't make them become a better person all of a sudden, that's really not how it works. Hurting someone makes them become more traumatized.

"I think I scare people" ( as I said, immediately opening up about his insecurities)

"I think that a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them" (for a bit here Wilbur talks about how he feels like everyone else is just waiting for him to step a foot out of line, which does really show that he's still interpreting all his interactions with people through the lens of his paranoia and self-deprecation, because no one is really interacting with him with that objective in mind)

"Dream's had his comeuppance and I've not" (this seems to be the crux of Wilbur's insecurity. This idea that he got off scot-free for his crimes, the idea that the only difference between him and Dream is the punishment that's been bestowed upon them which, of course, is wrong, but he doesn't know this, because he doesn't actually know why Dream's in prison)

"I've been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo, I've been investing into the wrong people" (This is either a reference to Tommy, to Phil, to Quackity, or to all of them)

"We're kindred man, we get each other" (the reason why he thinks that is because he seems to think that Ranboo has a similar type of paranoia to what Wilbur experience himself and he's not entirely wrong. Ranboo is deathly afraid of conflict and of being disliked so much so that he never stands up for anything in fear of angering others)

Little definition of "neuroticism" for you all since Wilbur kept mentioning it: neuroticism, one of the Big 5 personality traits, is typically defined as a tendency toward anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and other negative feelings.

I'd say it's quite fitting for both characters...

"I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is that you built your trust by showing people your cards whilst I- I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the big difference" (I felt like this was interesting. Especially knowing how much Ranboo actually doesn't share and how much he actually also keeps close to his chest)

They talk about tubbo in general for a bit and about what's been going on the server in general. Ranboo also that he's part of both Snowchester and the arctic commune (mostly the latter though).

"This has been chill, this has been good, I'm excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?" "Oh, he's- he's great. Tommy's awesome" "I agree I agree" "Definitely gone through a lot but I think that it's made him a good person" "Well you seem to think that everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said" "I mean, yeah. I mean if- if no one- the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because- just because and they don't have any reason why"

Included the whole thing here because if I stopped at Ranboo saying that Tommy going through trauma is what made him a good person it would have sounded really bad. As things are I think that that was just poor wording on his part and that this mostly goes back to the mentality he expressed before about how people sometimes do bad things because of the environment they're in pushing them and this idea he seems to have that actual hardships (like 13 years in Limbo or whatever he knows about what Tommy has been through) can encourage people to be better which is... sort of naive honestly. Again, trauma isn't a catalyst for the betterment of a person, and any improvement Tommy has made came from his self-reflection, not what he's been through.

After they're done with the van Wilbur brings Ranboo to their competing establishment and asks him to smash the windows, which Ranboo does with no hesitation whatsoever. After that Wilbur proceeds to place down one single block of TNT in a corner and Ranboo starts being a little more hesitant.

"You trust me right?" (I feel like that was a trick question considering how their common paranoia is the thing that Wilbur praised in Ranboo before)

Wilbur hands Ranboo the flint and steel to detonate the piece of TNT which Ranboo does, albeit with some hesitation.

"You passed the test, good job man, you go back to the van (...) Ranboo- Ranboo... I'm proud of you man. You've taken a side, you've proven that you can choose a side"

Quite a few people have already pointed out how similar this scene was to the time Wilbur tested Tommy in season 1 to decide if he was fit to be his right-hand man. In both situations, Wilbur gave someone a chance to cause some destruction against someone on the opposite side. Tommy passed the test by refusing to do so and showing that he was willing to uphold his morals and what he believed in. Ranboo passed the test by doing the exact opposite, by showing that, as much as he talks about how he chooses people and not sides, he's not willing to prove that even when all he would need to do to do so is doing nothing.

And it's an interesting scene to analyze as a parallel to that, but it's also interesting to note that Wilbur knows about Ranboo and Tommy griefing George together. He knows that Tommy was the only one to face any consequences for it (not that exile was actually the consequence for the griefing, but this is from Wilbur's point of view). Now putting this in the context of Wilbur seeing himself in Ranboo and thinking that he himself got off scot-free explains this next part perfectly in my opinion.

It explains why he made sure to leave this sign:

To me at least. This is only a theory honestly, we don't have an actual full explanation. But I do think that Wilbur may feel like the both of them never got the comeuppance they deserved, which is why he did something that's sure to get a reaction from one of the most powerful people on the server. Though considering that he also left 2 diamonds as retribution + a chest with all the materials he picked up it could have also been Wilbur's idea of a bonding moment and he could actually really be proud of Ranboo.

[therenlover]

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

 💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!

[ignitification]

What the Future Holds

“It is the temptation of war to punish; it is the task of policy to construct.” (Henry Kissinger). 

There has been a lot of debate around what is going to happen after (the heroes win? AfO is defeated? The Villains are saved? - are all valid hypothesis), right at the end of BNHA. Long ago, though, someone asked - what would be the reaction of the civilians at large when this all goes down? We know for a fact that while, more or less, our protagonists are in the loop of what exactly went down with the villains (or at least that they have not had a lot of positive experiences and possibilities to grow up as good as them), the civilians know close to nothing (apart from Touya’s broadcast, which in hindsight should be at least enough to make space way for the possibility of civilians understanding the woes of the villains and trying to accept the change which this ending will brings, and yet) when it comes to this matter. Will they be able to accept ‘a hero’ saving ‘a villain’? Will the change in society, the abolishment of a Quirk Society in general and the aftermath of the war (likely the cancellation of the hero rankings, and just the demotion of the title hero as profession) be accepted eventually?

While these are question to which I would like to answer ‘It depends’, I’d say that it might be the case, but the change will be slow, gradual and likely painful. Let’s take the example of Heteromorph Quirks, which, so many years after the discovery and establishment of quirks, are still looked down upon. This highlights the struggle with which this society adapts, and that it adapts to only certain parts of the society (which are usually the pretty parts, while the ugly ones are or ignored or just thoroughly refused to look at). It is the same principle we see in not only the narrative of Lady Nagant (and the rose-colored glasses with which civilians see society and pro-heroes), and the villains themselves (as their Quirks made them unfit for the general public to be displayed or used) but also in the same narrative which Izuku carries - he struggles to accept himself as someone who is Quirkless, and takes his chances to inherit All Might’s power, a little because of his dreams and more because that way he can also be part of that same society who treated him like shoe’s dirt before he gained ‘power’ and a standing as a UA student with a Quirk fit to be a hero.

We can see and take a little bit from what is probably going to be the reaction to the ending, both by seeing the reaction we have to Dabi’s broadcast, the press conference of the Top 3 and Izuku going rogue and looking villainy, as well as the public’s reaction to him coming back to UA.

Being likely familiar with these scenario, it definitely does not hit as a positive-filled situation, but rather the outage of the small mindedness and the expectancy of a perfect world division in villains and heroes by the civilians. Yes, it is the famous panel of the dichotomy of heroes and villains and look who already did foresee this so long ago: a villain, which is hilarious in itself but also pretty logical if you think about it.

The thing is, that as told millions times before the core problem of this society is that it does not understand nuance (and so doesn’t this fandom, for that matter): everything should be white or black, good or bad, hero or villain. But in reality, this dichotomy falls short of understanding what is hidden behind the curtain: the ugly truth of the fact that sometimes there is no good or bad, and that maybe sometimes the good is not as good and bad is not as bad. And as said million times before again, this stems from the fact that a. society has been kept in the dark from the deeds that the HPSC has done all these years, therefore conditioning and manipulating society into believing that a distinction exists; and b. it is rather easier to separate the good and the bad guys by a simple principles like a working label and to stick to it, even in front of rather compelling evidence. In the end, it is clear that the public has trust issues at their finest, but it then shows what a shaky base these society has been built on: a rather fine balance, which has been topped over once the castle of cards has been knocked down. 

It is in the hands of the new generation then, to attempt and change how thing have been so far. Retributive justice, just like in the quote above, is always tempting - and it is no brainer that it will be likely very hard for the civilian to accept whatever is thrown at them in the end, which does not involve the imprisonment and therefore the punishment of the villains. But at the same time, it is also true, that slowly but steadily things are staring to look up: we have Shouto who wants to save his brother, and Izuku who instead is trying to understand the villains and why they become such, stemming from his will to understand and help Shigaraki. After all, their main power is to change things up: a change which, hilariously, can be seen concretely by Bakugou’s words in chapter 323. Bakugou, who is a byproduct of that same society, is admitting his faults and the fact that it happens at this moment is likely a foreshadow for a major scale change: after all, the entire society owes an apology to the villains, big time. It is not a case then, that the narrative is putting everything to its places and showing us the before, and the tough process of change and the consequences of it. In this scenario, Izuku, Shouto, Bakugou, Ochako and generally the UA kids play the role of policymakers: they are looking in the future, trying to get an overview of the situation which they know as true and the one the villains consider as true and then trying to do ‘the right thing’: unfortunately, there is never a right thing when it comes to these matters, and no shoe-fits-all solution. It will therefore be interesting how exactly things will play out and whether society (in a not so distant future) might accept the fact that the villains can be victims, and in search for the satisfaction of that same retributive justice they are trying to enforce on them. In my opinion, the effort made by the young generation in this matter will be crucial: some people will refuse to accept such a thing (blaming the villains for everything that went wrong since day 1), other will struggle with accepting it and likely will remain neutral (which, in hindsight, is even worse as it is somehow similar to the civilians that thoroughly ignored Tenko when we was clocharding of the streets) and the who begrudgingly might accept the fact that exactly like Dabi said, pro-heroes are not always heroes in private too and they have as much harm potential as villains, it just does not get publicly displayed. And maybe, slowly, society will come to the consensus that while not always the case, offering a hand to those who struggle, might save a life - and why not, maybe at one point they will stop classifying people as ‘heroes and villains’, and instead accept themselves as humans altogether. But such is the human struggle: lost in the will to put a label on things, and forgetting that unlike labels, humans have the infinite capacity to grow, expand and change.

[tsumucore]

LUCID DREAMS

✎ … Miya Atsumu

word count: 5.2k

warnings: NSFW, pwp, daddy kink, a lot of degradation, spanking, choking, sexting, overstimulation, masturbation, he kinda spits in your mouth, just rough sex overall

All characters are 18+ !!!!

A/N: this is my first nsfw fic, so pls bear with me 🥺  I’m also dedicating this to @starboybokuto and @strawbericream for inspiring me and also bc they’re literally smut icons in the fandom and after writing this, I’m realizing just how hard it it to do and I just wanna appreciate them for all the effort they put in <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

His moans were like honey, pouring from his sweet lips and into your ears, as his thrusts became erratic. He was close. The sounds of your own pleasure filled the room before he swallowed them up completely with his beautiful mouth. You were close. This space that was inhabited by you two was the only dimension where time didn’t exist. Nothing else mattered in this moment, except for each other. You were so, so, so, so, so clo-

“Wake up!”

Your roommate’s exclamation breaks you out of your lust-filled slumber with a jolt. You groan and silently curse her as details of the dream gradually come back to you; she’d have to make a run for it if she valued her life, or at least avoiding getting smacked in the face by the pillow you throw at her with impressive force.

“Y/N, what did I do? she whines. “You told me to wake you up. I only did what you said!”

“Literally fuck you, I was having a good dream,” you fire back.

“MAN if you don’t… anyway shouldn’t you be in class by now?” Your eyes widen as you fumble for your phone to check the time.

“Shit!” Usually, you wouldn’t have bothered showing up if you were running late, but this class took attendance, and you were already on the cusp between two letter grades. A menial attendance point could be the difference between maintaining your GPA or tarnishing it.

You wash up in record time, throw on some clothes, and shove your necessary belongings in your backpack before slinging it on your back. You don’t even have time to fill up your water bottle; you’d just have to purchase one on campus later. You pop in your earbuds, select a random playlist, and fly out the door.

You don’t stop until you reach the lecture hall. You try not to cringe as you push open the door, slinking your way in the back to find an open seat; luckily, there was one near the door so your humiliation was short-lived. When you finally sit down and situate yourself, you take a deep breath for the first time that morning and collect your thoughts.

As your mind wanders, memories of your erotic dream come back to you. The faintest of color tints your cheeks, and you shift slightly in your seat as you subtly cross your legs. You pull out your phone, preparing to fire a text at lightning speed. You need your boyfriend.

Y/N: i miss you

Atsumu: :))

Y/N: im not trying to gas ur big head up even more than it already is i’m just whore knee

Atsumu: OH????? aren’t you in class rn?

Y/N: i’d rather be choking on your fat cock tbh

Atsumu: naughty girl, why are you saying such things in the middle of class?

Y/N: what are you gonna do about it... choke me? spank me? make me cum over and over and over again?

Atsumu: Watch your mouth, baby...

Y/N: Ok...

Y/N: ...daddy.

Fighting the smile tugging at your lips, you set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and refocus your attention on the professor’s droning voice. By the time lecture was over, you scramble out of the building, eager to make a quick call to your boyfriend so you could describe to him in specific detail everything you wanted him to do to you.

Alas, you heard the voices of your friends calling out to you, so you’re forced to sit through idle chit-chat until your next class starts. Of course, today was also a full day, so you would have to endure the rest of your classes, your position as a TA, and the study session your classmates were pulling together at the library for your next exam - which just so happened to be in two days, meaning you couldn’t opt out. At this rate, you wouldn’t be leaving campus until dark. And it was only 10 in the morning.

While you daydream in your next class, you’re broken out of your reverie by the realization that you had neglected to check your phone after effectively ending the conversation with Atsumu the way that you had. You unlock your phone, seeing that you have just one unread message from him - a photo. 

You know what’s coming before you even open it, so you’re careful to ensure that your screen isn’t in anyone’s line of sight - luckily, you were sitting in the back again, so there aren’t any prying eyes over your shoulder. You turn down the brightness and open the conversation before practically salivating on the spot.

You have an idea of what exactly the photo was going to be of, but nothing could prepare you for the effect it had on you.

It’s evident that he had propped up his phone on something and taken the photo on self-timer. Bleached tufts of hair fell over his forehead as he winked back at you through the screen with his lips pursed as if he was going to kiss someone. The only thing he wore was a gold chain around his neck. He was flashing a peace sign with one hand, while the other was wrapped around a good sized erection.

You feel your mouth dry up and your thighs subconsciously squeeze together. The way this photo was triggering a physiological reaction from your body was astounding. You need this man, and you need him now. You whisper to your friend that you had to use the bathroom, that you might be gone for a while - it must have been the iced coffee going straight through you - and to let you know if you missed anything. You try not to trip over anyone’s legs in your haste to get to the restroom.

Since this was a fairly large building, there were multiple restrooms, and so you locate the one you know is always empty and secluded - the one below the main floor. Once you enter, you do a quick check in each stall to make sure you’re alone before locking the door. You go into the biggest stall and commence with your plan of action.

You take off your shirt and bra and neatly hang them on the hooks behind the stall door. The sudden exposure to the chilly air makes you shiver as your nipples harden in response. You then bring your phone up to your chest, so that your face isn't in frame and begin to record yourself lightly massaging your breasts. You make sure to softly moan Atsumu’s name when you pinch your nipple, rolling it between your thumb and index finger. After about thirty seconds, you promptly send the footage to your boyfriend.

He immediately starts facetiming you which causes your thighs to squeeze together expectantly. When you answer the call, you’re greeted with dark, lustful eyes and a shit-eating grin.

“I heard someone missed me today.” His tone is slightly mocking, indicative of something deeper underneath.

“I had a dream about you,” you inform him as you slowly begin to massage your breasts the way you had before.

“Yeah? What happened in your dream?” His eyes darken as he shrewdly observes the way you sigh as your fingers glide over your nipples. God, he wished he could just take them in between his teeth.

You bite your lip in response to his tone becoming increasingly huskier. “I dreamed about you… fucking me.” Your voice falters a bit as you suddenly feel a wave of shyness rush over you. Atsumu often had this effect on you - sure, there was no limit to the amount of things you had done together; however, he was still able to make you feel flustered, as if it was the first time all over again.

“How naughty,” he scoffs. “You love actin’ so innocent, but what would people say if they really knew what was goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours? What would they say if they saw what you were tellin’ me in the middle of class? Do ya know what they would say, dollface?”

You can’t bring yourself to respond, only managing a feeble shaking of your head.

“They would call you a whore. A filthy, depraved slut. And do ya know what sluts get?”

Again, another feeble shake.

“Nothing. Sluts get nothing,” he laughs mockingly as he angles his phone until you have an adequate view of the way he’s been stroking himself this entire time. “And now, dollface, you’re gonna have to watch me get myself off. I want your hands off of yourself entirely... If I catch you touchin’ yourself even once, you get nothing. But if you’re good, I might just play with ya later.”

You whimper at his order, but you have no choice; you had brought this upon yourself by getting him riled up with those texts in the first place. As you swallow thickly, he begins to jerk himself off - slowly at first, torturing you with each stroke as he looks directly through the camera and into your eyes. He then begins to pick up the pace as heavy pants and the occasional moan escapes from his mouth.

“See what ya did to me, baby? This is all because of you.” His breathing grows erratic as he edges closer and closer to his release. “And now look at you. Watchin’ a man jerk off in a public restroom, with your tits out, when you’re supposed to be in class like a good girl. Now tell me, does that sound like a good girl?”

You merely whimper in response.

“Answer me,” he practically growls. “Does. That. Sound. Like. A. Good. Girl.”

“No,” you whisper as you feel a surge of arousal rush to your core. You knew your panties would be suffering thoroughly by the time you returned to class.

“Then tell me, dollface. What. Are. You.” Each enunciation is emphasized with a hard stroke to his cock - the same way he would be thrusting into you. It takes absolutely everything in you not to sneak your hand down to your throbbing clit; he’d know if you did, he always did. The prospect of not being touched by him later was unthinkable, so you continue to helplessly watch him fuck his own hand.

“I’m a filthy whore, your filthy whore,” you whine in compliance as you watch him thrust into his hand a few more times before letting out a long, drawn out moan and spilling his release all over himself. You can’t help the moan that escapes your own lips as you take in the sight of his flushed face and heavy rising and falling of his chest.

“You actually listened to me for once? This is a surprise,” he chuckles once he recovers from his orgasm. “Hurry up and come over… I’ll fuck ya ‘til you can’t even remember your own name.”

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

For the rest of the day, you hoped you were doing a relatively adequate job of hiding your arousal as you went about your responsibilities. You were literally counting down the seconds until you were finished with everything so you could meet up with Atsumu and let him fuck you like he promised. At one point, you caught yourself almost drooling during your group study session at the library. You took this as your cue to leave, so you politely excused yourself by letting the others know that it was time for you to leave as you had to get up early the next morning.

After what felt like the longest and, thanks to Atsumu, the most torturous day ever, you felt completely ravenous. From the second you had woken up, you had been straight up horny, and the fact that you hadn't been able to take care of it was driving you insane. You had been rushed all day, never having a moment to yourself, and when you did, Atsumu had specifically instructed you not to satisfy yourself the way you needed to be satisfied. It was unfair.

To make matters worse, you missed the train that would take you to Atsumu’s apartment as he lived quite a while away from your campus. The next train would be leaving in an hour, which was just too much for you at this point. Delay after delay. You grit your teeth in frustration as you weigh your options: you could wait another painstaking hour for the train that would inevitably take you to your dick appointment or you could spend a fortune by calling for a taxi and getting there right now. While you mentally calculate your finances, your clit throbs just slightly when you cross your legs, which causes you to throw all thoughts of being a penniless college student out the window in favor of getting fucked mercilessly as soon as possible.

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

Of course the elevator in Atsumu’s apartment building was currently out of order at that moment, leaving you with no other choice but to climb the seven flights of stairs to his apartment. At this point, you feel like you’re running on some sort of primal instinct as you sprint up the stairs with the vigor possessed by only someone who’s about to be dicked down. By the time you reach his door, you’re already huffing and puffing, but your own exhaustion escapes your mind as you ring his doorbell impatiently. Once the door swings open, you’re greeted with the sight of your boyfriend smirking back at you.

The motherfucker wore nothing but loose gray sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips and the same gold chain around his neck from earlier. You chuck your backpack on the floor and throw yourself onto him, pressing your lips against his (minty?) ones. The kiss is sloppy and intense as you try to make him feel the desperation you had been forced to endure all day long. 

Somehow, your clothes find themselves on the ground in a matter of seconds. He lightly slaps at your thigh, a signal for you to jump into his arms. When you do, your hands immediately find themselves tangled in his hair, and you tug at the roots lightly, earning a growl from him. You gasp and moan into his mouth when you feel his hands give your ass a good squeeze. He manages to carry you like this into his bedroom before gently dropping you onto his bed, where he palms himself above you as he gazes at your nude form. On god, you can literally see his dick print through his sweats, and it only fuels the wetness forming between your thighs.

“Atsumu, I’ve been waiting all fucking day long. Stop being an asshole and fuck me already like you promised,” you whine as you reach your hands up to rub them along his abdomen, relishing in the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. You were hoping that this would coax him into giving you what you want, but he merely ceases his actions and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Who do you think you are, talkin’ to me like that?” His eyes narrow, and he leans down so that he’s hovering directly above you. “Is my baby so goddamn horny that she actually forgot her manners?” His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, gradually squeezing it harder as he glares at you. “Looks like I’ll have to remind ya how to properly speak to me. Turn over - I want that ass up in the air.” 

You pout as you obey his command and flip over on your knees so that your face is shoved into the pillow and your ass is sticking straight up for him, bracing yourself for what you know is about to come.

“You know the drill, since you wanna be such a goddamn slut - count for daddy.” Before you can respond, his hand collides with your left asscheek, causing you to yelp and moan, “One,” weakly into the pillow. The sting doesn’t last for very long, but you know better - by tomorrow, you won’t be able to sit properly.

He continues delivering powerful slaps to your ass and admires the way it jiggles with every smack and the redness blooming across the soft flesh. Every so often, he plunges two fingers into your now sopping heat, without warning. He removes them as quickly as he puts them in, causing you to whine in frustration. By the time you reach ten spanks, you’re babbling incoherently as you wiggle your hips in the air, clenching around nothing and desperate for anything to fill you up.

He flips you back over on your back and scoffs at your desperation. “Have you learned your lesson, whore?” It’s not a question - it’s a demand.

As much as you want to do or say whatever he wants so that he can fuck you already, it’s always more fun to see what happens when you piss him off. You jut out your lower lip in a pout and stare up at him defiantly. “No.”

Before you know it, you’re being flipped back onto your stomach. Another round of brutal spankings are delivered to your asscheeks, causing tears to prick your eyes as the burning pain sets in. You’re going to be sore for the next week.

“Leave it to a whore to be so mouthy,” he growls as he flips you over on your back again and thrusts two fingers into your cunt. “But you like this, don’t ya? You like pissin’ me off, because you like getting your pretty little ass spanked and you like being choked, whether it’s by my hand or on my cock. I should shut you up with my cock, since you wanna be so mouthy. Tell me, do ya like choking on cock, whore?”

“Yes, daddy,” you moan quite loudly. The combination of his degrading words and consistent thrusting of his fingers in and out of your pussy was sending you into a haze.

“Of course you fucking do,” he spits. “You told me so yourself when you were sitting all innocent in class. In fact, what else did ya tell me?” His thumb was now brushing vigorously against your clit during each thrust, causing your legs to shake violently. The whimpers falling from your lips grow louder as you focus on the buildup slowly forming in the pit of your stomach. However, your lack of response doesn’t impress him. He immediately pulls his fingers out and slaps your pussy, eliciting a jerk from your entire body and a drawn-out moan from the surprising sensation.

“Answer me, fuckdoll. Or you get nothing.” He literally shoves his fingers back in and continues his relentless thrusting, filling the room with the squelching sounds of your sloppy cunt. You scramble to remember the contents of the lewd texts you had sent him earlier that day, but your brain is so hazy from the orgasm you know is about to hit you, that you’re stumbling through your words.

“I-I said something about w-wanting to choke on your cock-” your sentence is cut off with a long moan as he applies direct pressure on your clit with his thumb.

“We established that already, dollface,” he scoffs. “What. Else.”

“I d-don’t remember,” you wail and thrash your head side to side against the pillow. Your release is so close, you can taste it. “Daddy, please let me cum - I’m going to cum!”

“Don’t remember? That’s a shame,” he remarks as he completely stops his actions and pulls his fingers out, yet again. You let out a scream of frustration at the fact that your orgasm was just cruelly ripped away from you. “Let’s see, maybe we need a refresher.” To your disbelief, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to the conversation from that morning. “Hmm, you told me to choke and spank you… Well, I’ve already done both of those, so what else?” His eyes narrow down at your quivering form and, to your relief, he puts his fingers back in you and continues thrusting. What was the last thing you told me, whore?”

“I-I told you to m-make me cum over and over a-again,” you gasp out as one final sharp thrust sends you completely over the edge. Before you know it, you’re screaming his name as you crash down from your high.

You moan in bliss as you feel the utter fucking release of the tension that had been building up inside you all day long. However, you barely have time to relax before you realize Atsumu’s still going at it in your now sensitive pussy.

“Tsumu,” you gasp as you feel your body jerking in response to the oversensitivity. “It’s s-so much… I-I c-can’t-”

The motherfucker literally laughs as he watches your face contort from the sheer overwhelming pleasure. “What? You asked for it. You’re droolin’ already and all I’ve given you are my fingers.” His jeering words ignite the fire building up for the second time as tears stream down your face from the overstimulation. “You tellin’ me you want me to stop?” He stuffs a third finger inside, stretching you even further and eliciting even more delicious cries from your lips. It felt like his fingers were thrusting even harder and faster, if that was possible.

“N-no, keep g-going,” you wail before you’re hit with your second orgasm of the night. All that you’re able to get out is a blubbering combination of “daddy” and “Tsumu” as your vision goes white and you hear the roaring of your own blood in your ears.

Atsumu finally slides his fingers out of your drenched pussy, eyes fixating on the string from your fluids attached to them. He takes advantage of your still panting mouth to stuff his fingers in between your lips. “You know what to do.” His eyes darken as he watches you desperately suck on his fingers, tasting your own essence on them. After he feels that you’ve effectively done a thorough job of cleaning them off for him, he smirks and pulls them out before leaning down so that he’s hovering above you.

“Good girl. Open wide for your reward.” Once you comply, he works up a good amount of saliva and lets it fall in your mouth, directly on your tongue. You moan as you relish the taste of his spit and swallow it all. “Thank you daddy,” you beam up at him.

He draws himself back in satisfaction as he pulls his sweatpants off, freeing his rock hard length and letting it slap against his abdomen. As spent as you are from your previous orgasms, there’s nothing you’re craving more than for him to be balls deep in your tight pussy. He just remains where he is, stroking himself as he watches you grow impatient for him to do something already.

 “Tsumu,” you plead in the calmest tone you can muster. “Please fuck me already.”

He merely continues to pump his cock, much to your dismay. “How much do you want my big cock, whore?” Again, it isn’t a question.

“I want it more than anything in the whole wide world,” you beg. Each stroke to his cock only serves to increase your frustration.

“Prove it.”

You let out a groan and proceed to rub your tits, squeezing them together and rolling your nipples in between your fingers. In your attempt to please him, you notice the way Atsumu slightly picks up the pace of his strokes as he watches you play with your tits.

But it still isn’t enough for him.

“You can do better than that.”

Fucking hell. You let go of your breasts and spread your legs, hooking your hands behind your knees so that he has a perfect view of your pretty, spoiled pussy. Your cheeks burn as you bring your hand down to spread your lips, offering him access to your slick hole. “C’mon, Tsumuuuuu… I’m all good and ready for you.”

Atsumu swallows thickly and finally relents. He grabs your thighs and holds them open as he positions himself at your entrance and pushes into you. You’re so wet from your previous orgasms that he slides in easily, burying himself to the brim as he loses himself in the feeling of being fully sheathed inside you and lets out a long moan. It feels like your pussy is literally swallowing him up as he bottoms out. Your eyes roll back as you feel yourself being deliciously, oh so wonderfully, stretched. His fingers were heavenly on their own, but nothing in the world could compare to the feeling of his thick cock hitting all the right spots in you.

“Fuck, yeahhh. You’re so tight, fuck. How are ya so tight?” Atsumu’s breathing is heavy as he squeezes his eyes shut, relishing the sensation of your walls clenching around him. He starts thrusting slowly, checking your face for any signs of discomfort. However, you grow impatient and start wiggling your hips, urging him to go faster. He scoffs and slaps your breast in response. “Be patient, dollface. You’ll take what I give ya.” You whimper, but cease your actions. Atsumu must have apparently decided that was enough for him as well, because he picks up his speed. 

His hips slap against you from the brutal way he fucks you into oblivion. His strokes are deep and hard, causing you to turn into a sobbing mess. The room is filled with the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass and your cries begging him to not stop and go even harder. The way he pounds into you has your entire body rocking back and forth as you moan at the feeling of his pelvis meeting you with each movement. 

“M-more, daddy!” Drool is seeping out of the corners of your open mouth and your eyes are glazed over from the sheer feeling of him being balls deep in you.

“You love being fucked like this, don’t ya?” Atsumu’s grunts fill your ears and you clench even tighter at his words. “An’ it’s never enough for you. Insatiable whore.” He delivers a particularly sharp thrust at the word “whore” which makes you blubber nonsensically. You want to tell him that you’re his insatiable whore, but your words are jumbling together as all your senses are devoted to the way his cock is slamming in and out of your cunt.

At this rate, you’re about to cum again in no time. Atsumu picks up on this and makes you wrap your legs around him so he can pound into you even deeper from this new angle. The tip of his dick now hits your g spot with each brutal thrust, making you literally scream in delirium. He’s more than pleased at your response, which is why he suddenly halts his movements and tilts his head at you in the cockiest manner. You want to scream and swear at him in every language possible, but you’re in such disbelief that all you can muster is the dirtiest glare at him. He laughs at the way your hips involuntarily move around him.

“Look at ya, you’re so fuckin’ cockhungry. I’m not even doing anything and your pussy’s tryna suck me in.” Before you can protest, he suddenly pulls out so that just the tip of his dick is inside you and slams back in with no warning. He’s back to thrusting into you, hitting your g spot with immense force. 

Before you know it, the knot that had been forming in your stomach completely snaps. His eyes train on the way your tongue lolls out of your mouth and your eyes cross together as your mind goes completely blank when you cum yet again. Your pussy clenches around him, causing him to swear profusely, and your fluids gush out involuntarily. Your cheeks are flushed and your chest is covered in the sheen from your sweat. He lets go of your thighs and leans over to meet your lips with his, never stopping the steady rhythm of his thrusts. You pant into his mouth as the sound of your heartbeat pounds in your ears and the cool metal of his chain dangles against your skin. 

“C’mon, make that face again for me.” Atsumu begins to rub your clit harshly, eliciting a high-pitched mewl from you as your entire body shudders.

“I-I-I…” Your teeth are clenched and your eyes are squeezed shut as pressure fills your head from the overwhelming sensation spreading throughout your body. It’s all too much, and you’re not sure you can cum again.

“Give it to me one more time, pretty girl. I know you can do it, I gotcha.” Atsumu starts sucking on the sweet spot behind your ear and continues to fuck you with the vigor of a possessed man. The bedframe shakes uncontrollably from the way he pummels into you. His thumb rubbing furiously at your clit sends shock waves of pleasure throughout your overly sensitive body and before you know it, the familiar pressure is building up in your stomach again. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my go-,” you chant as your eyes roll back in your head and you scream out his name while your vision goes completely white. Atsumu groans at the feeling of your tight walls milking his cock for everything he has. Your whole body is shaking, and you’re so wracked with pleasure that you can scarcely process the way his thrusts grow sloppy as he gets closer and closer to his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His groans fill the room as he erratically pummels into you to chase his high. 

“Cum inside me, daddy. Want you to fill me all the way up.” Your words are slurring together at this point due to the heady arousal clouding your mind, but they’re enough to tip Atsumu over the edge. He lets out a moan and his hips stutter to a stop as you’re overcome with the feeling of his cock twitching inside you and suddenly filling you to the brim with his cum.

Atsumu collapses on top of you and pants heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. The two of you are silent for a good few minutes before he gathers whatever strength is left in him to pull out of you. He remains somewhat on top of your utterly spent body and peppers kisses all over your face. “You good?”

“Never better,” you reach a hand up to stroke his hair, and he hums contentedly in response before rolling over to your side. He throws an arm over you, hugging you to his body and just stares at you lovingly.

“I wasn’t too rough on ya, was I?” His hand reaches down to your ass to rub soothingly at the marks left by him.  

“You were perfect, babe.” You grab his hand, intertwining your fingers with his own. “I’m sleeping good tonight, thanks to you.” He smiles at this and positions himself so that his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. He closes his eyes for a while as he savors the feeling of you stroking his hair and planting kisses on the top of his head.

“Babe?”

“Hm?”

“Ya wanna order food?” His eyes are still shut and you chuckle. “Yeah.”

“Who’s callin’?” He snuggles a bit further into you.

“Not it.” His eyes open and he looks up at you before literally pouting. You can’t believe this is the same man you were calling “daddy” just a few minutes ago.

“Why do I hafta do it,” he grumbles.

“Sorry that my phone’s out there and yours is literally at your feet because you wanted to be theatrical and ‘teach me a lesson.’” You smile as he continues to grumble under his breath, but pushes himself up to grab his phone and dial the number of your favorite takeout place. “Love youuuuuu,” you sing-song and flash a toothy grin at him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I love ya too.” He rolls his eyes and lies back down next to you as he speaks to the worker on the phone. The entire time he absentmindedly plays with your hands as you sigh contentedly and bask in the feeling of being with him.

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