#this is everything i've ever wanted.....sobbing

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆  Epilogue

Masterlist Word count: 2.3 k Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Author's note: That's it guys. Thank you so much for reading and all the sweet comments. I've had a blast writing this story<3

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, mentions of domestic abuse, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Mature content under the cut.

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'So tell me, Rafayel, did you actually set them up,' Zayne asks with a smile as he looks at the happy couple. Rafayel frowns at him. 

'No. Why would I want them to move in together? That's less rent money,' he says in an annoyed, whiny voice. But then he sighs and rolls his eyes, making his annoyed façade a lot less believable. 'I guess they look good together though.' 

'That they do,' Zayne agrees, smiling as he looks at the happy couple entering the ballroom together. 

Today, he had had the great honor of being your best man with Tara by his side as your bridesmaid. He doesn't think he's ever been prouder than he was seeing you walk down the aisle in your beautiful wedding dress with your hair and makeup all done up and the biggest smile on your face.  

It became even more beautiful when he heard the softest sob coming from the man standing there waiting for you. Tears of joy freely flowed down his cheeks as he wore a smile as big as yours. 

He's glad you've found your forever person and couldn't be happier for you. He gets to watch you grow happier and happier each and every day, gets to see you with a partner that allows you to be yourself fully and give yourself fully without taking too much. By now, he loves Sylus like a brother and can't imagine his life without him. 

As he watches Sylus and you sway over the dance floor, your first dance as husband and wife, it brings a tear to his eyes. When the song ends, you approach him with outstretched hands. He takes a quick peek behind you at Sylus to check if it's okay. Sylus nods with a calm smile as Zayne takes your hand. Together, you sway across the dance floor with Sylus gentle eyes on the both of you, smiling contently. 

'Zayne, I don't think I can ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me, for us, but still... Thank you.' 

'I'd do it again a million times to see you happy.' You smile and lean your head on his shoulder. He looks over at Sylus, who is still happily looking at the two of you. It is truly a gift that you two managed to end up together like this. The happiness that has been granted to you is a gift from the gods, truly. He can only hope he'll find something like this for himself. 

'Remind me to introduce you to one of my colleagues,' you say with a cheeky grin, 'I think you'll like her.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

'Wait, stop,' you giggle, pushing Sylus off you. The man has been leeching on your neck ever since people started leaving. He pouts at you but lets you do what has to be done. Which is unlocking the door to your shared apartment. When you push the door open, he picks you up and you squeal. 'What are you doing?' 

'Carrying my bride over the threshold,' he states proudly as he walks into the apartment. He closes the door with a kick and carries you straight to the bedroom where he gently puts your back on your feet. 'Would you grant me the honor of taking off your dress?' 

'If you promise me we'll take a shower after.' His pout reappears. The man was banking on something else happening, but you have been in a heavy dress all day and you truly want to wash the day away. It was beautiful and a memory that you'll never forget, but you can almost feel your skin itch under your makeup. 'Please?' 

'Anything my wife wants, my wife gets,' he agrees and walks around you to busy himself with the beautiful pearl buttons on the back of your dress. 'You were enchanting today. Truly in my top five of your most beautiful moments.' 

'Top five? Is it even number one?' 

'No, number one will always be when I woke up with you after we finally had the talk. But it's a good number two.' You giggle as you feel his hands gently work your buttons. Each inch of freed skin is kissed lovingly. 

'What are the others?' 

'Five is when I saw you for the very first time. I was having a terrible time setting up my apartment and you came over with that bottle of whiskey.' You let out a chuckle. 

'You were so rude to me.' 

'I was, but you were beautiful. Even if you did look annoyed,' he adds and continues his list, 'number four is the first time you let me eat you out.' Another chuckle leaves your lips, but then you feel his hands on your hips as he kneels down onto the floor. 

'And number three will be waking up with you tomorrow. The first time waking up with you as my wife,' his voice sounds a little wobbly. When you look over your shoulder, you can tell he has tears in his eyes. With the last button undone, you turn and kneel on the floor with him, taking his face in your hands. He instantly leans into your touch, eyes closing to focus on the warmth you spread through his body. 'I could've never imagined we would've made it this far if it hadn't been for your stubbornness.' 

It almost sounds like a joke, but he means it wholeheartedly. 'And I would do it again and again, a million times if I have to, if that means I get you as my husband,' you tell him, not a trace of uncertainty in your words. His eyes open again and he looks at you, taking in your figure. The dress draping off your shoulders, your makeup so perfectly done, the honestly in your face. 

'I don't know what I've done to deserve you, but it must've been pretty damn good,' he tries to joke, but a tear slips out. Your thumb wipes it away and you lean in to press a kiss on his lips. It's searing hot, a burning promise to stand beside him whatever may come next. 

As lips part, he seems much better. You smile and get up from your knees, offering him your hand. 'Now, I think it's about time we consummate this marriage.' He takes your hand and gets up, pressing a kiss on your cheek. 

'Sweetie, I know you're tired. Let's just take a shower.' 

'Fine,' you pretend to be annoyed, but he sees right through it. 'I'm waking you up with a blowie though.' 

'If I ever say no to that, shoot me.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Despite both being drained from the wedding, you talked for hours. About the past, the present, the future. Little things you hadn't admitted to each other, like Sylus secret love of Fleetwood Mac and your extreme love for- and fascination with sunsets. By the time you both fell asleep, it must've been three or four am. So you aren't really surprised that you wake up with the late morning sun bathing the whole room in a warm orange. 

However, you could've slept for much longer had it not been for a certain someone sucking hickeys on your thighs. With a sluggish movement, you pick up the covers and see Sylus between your legs. Each of his arms wrapped around a thigh, your underwear nowhere to be seen, and a cheeky grin on his lips when he meets your eyes. 

'I thought I said I was going to give you a blowjob.' 

'Well, the day is still young,' he rasps, his voice still full of sleep, 'and I intent to show my wife how much I love her first.' My wife. The words make his stomach tingle the same as they do for you. 

'Okay, but push the covers off. I want to see my husband.' 

'Yes ma’am.' He throws off the covers in one swift motion and plunges right into his breakfast. Right away, flattening his tongue against your clit and licking a thick stripe. Your back arches as you whimper his name. After that, there's no stopping him. 

He plunges two fingers into you and eats like a man starved, like he needs your pussy to stay alive. His fingers pump and curl deliciously inside of you while your body moves uncontrollably, only staying in place because of Sylus’ tight grip on your thighs. The room is filled with moans and whimpers of Sylus’ name. He revels in it. 

Before you know it, your orgasm washes over you. As you try to steady your breathing, Sylus moves from his spot which is slightly uncharacteristic for him. Usually, he tries to get you on the edge of a second orgasm first. 

'My beautiful wife, would you grant me the honor of fulfilling a fantasy of mine,' he asks between kisses as he makes his way slowly to your mouth, placing a loving kiss right on your lips. You wrap your arms around his shoulders to hold him close to you. 

'And what would that be, husband?' 

'Remember that video in my bathroom of me jerking off?' You nod. 'That was the evening after the party. I heard you masturbating and I started imagining being with you. Holding you. I'd like to fuck you how I imaged I would.' 

'Is this something we need a traffic light system for?' He shakes his head. 

'No, none of that. I just want you to stay laying here, just like this and,' he gently lifts your legs until your feet are planted on his mattress, thighs far enough apart to allow space for him. He takes your hands and move them into the hair on the back of his neck. He spreads his legs, sitting on his heels as he gently lines his length up to your pussy. 'Is this alright for you?' 

A smile spreads across your face. This is nothing special. It almost makes you blush that he would imagine such a normal scene and get off so hard on it. You nod and pull on his hair. 'Fuck me, Sylus.' 

He slips in gently and leans closer to press his lips on yours, setting a gentle pace as he kisses you deeply. But you quickly get enough of the slow pace and pull his hair again to separate his lips from yours. 'Quicker, please,' you beg, looking desperate and longing for release. With a smile, he starts driving his length into you at a quicker pace. An orchestra of the little sounds you make fills the room once more. It's so much more beautiful than he imagined back then, so much more beautiful. Your eyes are focused on him and only him. 

'You're absolutely stunning, sweety,' he tells you as he leans closer, wrapping his arms around your body to pull you closer, his lips exploring the expanse of your neck and shoulders. Your hands slip out of his hair and onto his back, your nails leaving works of art on his back in despair. One of his hands leaves your body, moving between the two of you to rub your bundle of nerves, helping you closer to a state of ecstasy. 

'Sylus, you feel so good,' you manage to moan out, clawing your way as close to him as you possibly can. In response, he pulls you up into his lap and holds you close to his chest, as close as humanly possible, while picking up the pace and drilling into you. 

Your moans become louder and you are so grateful the bedroom doesn't border on another apartment as you hear the bed creak pitifully. In a terrible attempt to silence yourself as you rapidly get closer to the edge, you bite down on his collarbone. He groans out your name in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The feeling tips him over the edge. 

His hands grab your hips so hard you're sure it'll bruise, severing you the same mixture of pain and pleasure to help you tip over the edge and fall into the abyss with him. Your teeth let go of his skin as you whole body shakes in pleasure. Sylus holds you close, his arms wrapping around your body like a safety net whilst his hips jerk up to help you ride through your orgasm. 

When he feels your shaking subside, he gently lays you down on the bed and slips out of you. A pathetic whine slips from your lips as your face contorts in disagreement, but all he can see is his beautiful wife. His absolutely perfect wife who is so willing to give herself to him. 

He lays down and snuggles up to you, arms wrapping around your body like they're meant to be there. 'You did perfect.' 

'Sylus?' He hums in response, eyes already closed again, ready for a nap. 'Can I say that I am absolutely flattered that this is what you thought of doing with me the first time you met me?' 

'You can, but do remember that I first fell for you because you were being a brat,' he retorts. There's a chuckle in the back of your throat, but you force it down and huff instead, pretending you're that bratty again. A rumbling laugh goes through his chest. 'I'm joking.' 

'You're really not.' 

'No, I'm not. I still love you though.' The biggest grin spreads on your face, basking in the bliss that this beautiful man loves you. It's something that you didn't see coming, but when you first saw him it hit you like a semitruck. You truly couldn't be happier than you are when you're with him and you hope you'll ever find the words to truly express that to him. 

'I love you too.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Previous - Fin. - Back to the start

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Taglist

@carmelves

@terriblesoup

@valkyyriia

@fvcknwww

@itsizumiiii

@ludwigsb0nker

@amywright

@frenchmess23yo

@malleus-draconias-rose

@deathkat657

@sweetnanah

@trishiepo0

@iraot

@nyxie-00

@sherlockstolemyname

@poptrim

@dummiebunny

@everythingistaken00

@ikesimpleton

@tyys-stuff

@venussakura

@crimsonlittlecrow

@raiyuxa

@pxxchyjjk168

@satansdaughter123

@nekee-lilac02

@brekkers-whore

@datfangirl

@datura109

@napa-the-yappa

@sinnamon-bunn

@waowo

@mrskuran13

@minnie-min

@blue-sky336

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

[tinylilacbun]

School Fights

Pairing: brother!rafe cameron x teen!sister!reader

Warnings: reader getting into fights, arguing, angst, set in s4, mentions of ward being dead, fluff at the end

͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ ︶𝅄⏝ ͝ ͝ ⏝𝅄︶ ͝ ⏝ ⊹ ⏝ ͝ 𝅄

Rafe's on his way towards your school, again, this is the third time this month that the principal has called him because you got into another fight.

Ever since Ward died, Rafe took it upon himself to take care of you since you didn't want to stay with Rose and leave the island you grew up on behind but boy, he really didn't expect that taking care of a teenager would be this exhausting.

You kind of remember him of himself when he was around your age, which scares him sometimes, because he made stupid decisions and even more reckless stuff.

He couldn't say no when you somehow managed to come back to Kildare all on your own from Guadaloupe, standing in front of him sobbing and begging him to let you stay with him, saying that you miss him and everything.

Now it's been a while and things have gone smoothly, all until the calls from your principal became more frequent and worse every time.

Arriving in front of the school building he takes a deep breath before climbing out of his car, making his way inside and towards the principal office, the way all too familiar for him by now.

As he opens the door to the office he sighs at seeing you sitting in the seat in front of Miss Tinks desk, your arms crossed over your chest and a faint bruise forming on the corner of your mouth together with a cut on your eyebrow that the school nurse already patched up.

"Mr. Cameron, please take a seat." She greets him, a small professional smile on her face to ease the already growing tension in the room.

"What happened now?" Rafe asks, taking a seat right next to you, reaching out to tuck your hair away to get a proper look at your face but you just turn your head from his reach.

"Well, there's been a little altercation between Y/N and some other students during lunch break." Your principal starts to explain everything, that you lashed out at two other girls for reasons you wouldn't tell her yet as you knew it wouldn't change a thing.

"A'ight, we'll- I'll talk with her. It won't happen again, I'm sure of it." Rafe says, knowing there's no way in hell that things would change but he has to say something to assure that he's capable to take care of his sister.

"Mr. Cameron, with all due respect. I've been patient for a while now, and I can't let these things slide anymore. Y/N will be suspended for the coming three days. Should things not work out soon I'm forced to take more drastic measures to ensure a healthy learning environment for my students." Miss Tinks states calmly, sliding the paper with your suspension towards your brother.

Rafe clenches his jaw, rubbing a hand over his face before glancing at you, who seems completely unbothered by this whole situation.

"Okay. I'll handle it from here, I apologize on her behalf." Rafe musters up a forced smile as he stands up, shaking your principal's hand goodbye, turning to face you. "Let's go."

You grab your bag and stand up to catch up with your brother, walking silently beside him as you both make your way outside and to his car.

After he slams his door shut he starts the engine, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he wheels onto the road, staring ahead but he's visibly upset, rightfully so.

"What happened?" He asks through gritted teeth and when you don't reply he breathes deeply through his nose.

"Y/N, I'm trying to help here but- but when you don't give me a reasonable explanation I'll ground your ass for a damn month and take away your phone, if that's what you want instead be my guest." He waves his hand.

Again, just silence. He's about to start scolding you again when you mumble something under your breath. "Speak up, kid. I can't understand gibberish."

"You wouldn't understand..." You mutter again, trying not to cry as you feel your eyes well up.

"Then help me. At least try to explain what the hell is going on. I can't change things when you don't talk with me, you know that." He runs a hand over his buzzed head, not used to talks like this with you.

"They all pick on me...e-everyone whispers when I walk past them, saying how Dad's a murderer and that he deserved what happened, t-that you're psychopathic, that Sarah turned into a dirty pogue, telling me that I'll just end up like all of you." You finally ramble out, starting to sniffle as the tears roll down your cheeks.

"I just- I couldn't stand it anymore, hearing all that shit and just snapped. Bitches had it coming ever since I started school again..."

Rafe doesn't say anything for a moment, taking everything in you just said, already preparing himself for the phone call he's gonna have with your principal when he gets home.

How can shit like this just slip past all those teachers? Hell, he's pretty sure he can press charges for the fact his sister gets suspended after getting harassed by fellow students. A healthy learning environment, my ass.

"I...I get it." He finally responds, starting to calm down now that he knows why you've been acting so strange lately. "You just wanted to defend your family name. Guess we got more in common than I thought, huh?"

"You- You're not mad?" You question, wiping the tears from your cheeks subtly.

Rafe scoffs, shaking his head. "Nah, I'm actually proud of you for not only standing up for yourself but also for dad. He wouldn't get it, but I do...hell I understand you more than anyone ever could."

There's some silence after that, both of you processing the depth of the conversation you just had, there's never really been a chance to talk about what's bothering you since you're still partly grieving your father's deaths.

He wasn't the best dad of the world. Everyone knows that, but still, he tried everything to protect all of you and make sure you'll never have to worry about anything in the future 'til his last breath.

"I miss him..." You whisper suddenly, looking down at your bruised knuckles.

"Yeah, me too." Rafe replies with a low voice.

You furrow your brows when you notice that he doesn't turn into the next street towards his house but keeps driving straight ahead.

"Where are we going?"

He simply shrugs, a smirk forming on his face. "I think we both deserve some McDonald's, don't you think?"

You finally start to smile again, a sight that Rafe hasn't been able to witness for a while now. He should have paid more attention to you, having deep talks like this, he's all you got now after all.

[mi-co-uk]

coming clean

blue!reader x saviour!matt

WARNINGS: embarrasment, self hate, idea of not being safe,. the series itself will contain heavy angst , fluff and smut 𖦹

I've never written a fic before so any feedback and support is appreciated !

p.s the grammar is wrong but I like it that way coz it feels like a diary entry but if it's distracting I can change it :3

pls enjoy <3

other parts: intro // 1 // 2

CHAPTER 2

────୨ৎ────

I didn't think I'd ever see him again.

I guess i was partially right. the version of him I knew is gone. he seems so much more sure of himself now. I used to be the more confident of the two of us - sparking conversations because I knew he wouldn't, complimenting him when I knew he skeptical.

here I am now, sat so pathetically in front of him. a shell of the girl he knew while he's grown fully into his body and soul.

my matt.

he used to look at me with adoration. like I was everything perfect in the world, his eyes full of love. there was only a hint of sadness when he remembered I couldn't be his. I was already someone else's. maybe I still am.

it's hard not to stare. I can tell he's thinking the same about me by the way his eyes dart widly from me to nick, to me, to chris, to me, to my neck.

but now his gaze is swimming with empathy. pure pity making me feel sick to my stomach.

it's disgusting. its digusting because it makes me feel like I am.

I'm so fucking embarrassing.

I shouldn't have messaged them.

my body feels more and more hollow the longer it says silent. everyone lacks in movement, uncertainty so prominent it's almost unbearably loud.

matt locks eyes with me again, a new glint sparks before he stands up abruptly. if I didn't feel borderline catatonic, I probably would've flinched.

he slowly shuffles away to the room across the living room, the door creaking open. matt steps back out the room before it had even finished the harsh screech.

he rests back down gently at the end of the L shaped couch. he's a little further away that I'd expect him to sit, though I appreciate it.

"you remember?" he whispers softly.

I look down towards his hand, noticing the stuffed animal in his grasp.

as much as matt used to be nervous around me, he was never fully embarrassed. he was comfortable, just wanting to maintain a good impression. he never felt humiliated when I turned up to his house on those days when everything was a little too much. sometimes we would talk about it and sometimes we wouldn't. silence or not, he'd be holding that same toy pug that's he's had since I've known him and long before that.

the childlike nature of it was irrelevant then and it should feel that way now. I can't help but be reminded of the fact that I'm not really a kid anymore. but I feel so utterly vulnerable and clueless as if I am one.

he slowly gestures it towards me, letting us mirror who we were before. it's ironic really. I run my thumb across the soft ears. Just like matt used to. there's a break in my sniffs causing me to realise just how intrusive the sound of it had been.

"y-you um. you don't have to tell us everything but, we can grab the whiteboard so you can talk?" matt starts, before slightly repositioning himself in his seat, slightly nervous from the intensity of the situation.

I keep my view locked down to the plush animal in my lap.

"but um." he continues, "it's good to see you, yknow? despite the circumstances." his voice loses confidence and volume the more he speaks.

I peer up at him slowly, his gaze much more familiar than before. he really means it. my eyes grow hot just as he flashes a quick tight smile.

my breath hitches before all the built up pressure in my chest starts escaping me again. warm tears flood down my face, building up further when the embarrassment sets back in.

chris sets the small whiteboard on the low counter in front of me without me even noticing his first movements.

the sobbing doesn't stop, as I continue praying that it would. I grip the stuffed animal close to my chest and cover my face with my other hand, before bringing my knees to my chest and resting my head atop them.

I'm turned directed to the wall as I calm my breathing. I bend the arm holding matts pug, using the crease of my elbow to rest my head.

I think of what he'd tell me if he was here.

"you're fucking crying? this is your fault. stop acting acting like a fucking baby."

the humiliation sets back in enough for my breathing to slow, burying everything back down.

I feel matt rub his thumb just above my elbow, caressing gently.

"it's okay." he whispers. "I know it doesn't feel okay now, and- and that's okay but, you're with us, yeah?" I continue staring at the empty wall beside me.

"it's safe." he speaks lowly, full of sympathy. "you're safe."

it should piss me off more than it does. I'm not safe. I can never be safe for as long as I live. but I know matt would spend that life trying to make sure i was or at least the closest thing to it. as he always did before.

I face towards him, quickly acknowledging him with a sniff before turning to look at the whiteboard. I set aside the pug, reaching for the board and pen. I perch cross legged, staring with empty eyes down at it.

where do I even start?

𐙚🧸ྀི

a/n I feel like I'm going a bit slow with this but yep here we areeee , I also wanna say that I'm from the UK so idk what specifically might be worded confusing for some people but i tried to make it less so at parts like when I said couch not sofa lol but I hope it makes sense regardless

let me know what you think !

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ - mi

tags: @pair-of-pantaloons

[allthingsfangirl101]

Familiar Faces Part 2 – Jake Seresin

Part 1

Even though I wasn't training Jake and his team, the Admirals kept me on as their efficiency expert. Their big mission was two weeks away, and the trainees were getting more anxious.

After Maverick decided who would fly with him, I worried about Jake. But he seemed okay with it. He's still been training with everyone, but he claimed there wasn't as much pressure.

Plus, we started going out and got into a routine. After training, we'd pick up dinner and go back to my place. He'd end up staying so late that I didn't want him driving back to his apartment so he'd stay over. We'd fall asleep holding each other and wake up the same way. It was perfect and everything I wanted when we first met.

Until. . .

It's been a while since I had a nightmare I couldn't pull myself out of. Jake didn't know about my nightmares and ever since we started going out, I've been too embarrassed to tell him. All the nights he's slept over, I've barely slept in fear of him finding out.

Tonight, I couldn't stop it.

I woke up to someone shaking me and calling out my name. I gasped awake, a sob getting stuck in my throat. I looked around the room, my eyes taking a second to adjust to the lack of light in the room.

"Y/N?" Jake's soft voice whispered.

"Jake?" I had to double-check.

"Yeah," he said with a soft smile on his face. He reached over and cupped my face in his hand. "It's me, baby."

His eyes softened when he saw the tears in my eyes. I heard him sigh as he wrapped his arms around me, pulled me into his chest, and laid us down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked once we were comfortable.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"Come on, Y/N," he sighed. "It took me almost ten minutes to wake you up. It was not nothing. Please, talk to me."

"It was about my mission," I whispered, my voice breaking. Jake didn't respond. Instead, he tightened his arms around me.

"Replay or worse version?"

"Kinda replay," I shrugged, "with a bit of pausing and replaying."

"Okay, you lost me," he said with a soft chuckle. I smiled a little but couldn't make myself laugh.

"In my dream, I kept trying to turn my plane away from the training facility," I said, my voice breaking at the end. "Every time I did, I was suddenly facing it again. Nothing I did worked."

As the tears burned my eyes, I tucked deeper into his side, burying my face in his shoulder. He reached up and started running his fingers through my hair.

"I'm sorry the Navy made you do that," he whispered. "I wish there was something I could've done."

"I wish you were with me," I mumbled.

"Me too," he sighed.

"There was something else," I said slowly.

"In your dream?" He asked, looking down at me. "What is it?"

"I dreamt about you."

"Y/N. . ."

"I dreamt about your upcoming mission," I continued, my voice breaking. "I dreamt that you guys went off and. . . it took a horrible turn and. . . You didn't come home to me. And I watched it from base, not able to do anything as you were shot down."

By the end of it, I broke into a sob. I curled more into him as I sobbed, "I can't lose you, Jake."

"You won't, Y/N," he said gently. "I promise. You are not going to lose me. Besides, I'm just the extra."

I know he was trying to make me feel better, but it didn't work. "If they need you, you have to go, Jake. No arguing. If they tell you to go, you go. You don't have a choice. Just because you're the spare doesn't mean you won't ever leave the ship. And when they send you, I can't stop them. I have to sit back and watch you go. I have to listen as you fly off. I have to sit back and I can't help you if you get into trouble. I have to just listen and watch that damn bubble as I lose you."

"Firefly," he cut me off using my callsign. He sat up, pulling me with him. He grabbed my hands and turned me toward him. "Truth is, we don't know what's going to happen in three days. We don't know if they're going to need me. The only thing that matters is that I know what I'm doing and I will do everything I can to make sure everyone on my team gets home."

"Including you?"

Jake smiled softly as he grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and slow. When he broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Including me."

* * * * *

I walked into base, my exhaustion from last night weighing me down. After my nightmare, we stayed up talking. I tried to get Jake to go to bed, but he was more focused on me.

"You okay, Y/L/N?" Captain Phillips asked as I walked into our shared office.

"I'm fine," I shrugged off. He gently grabbed my arm, stopping me from going to my desk.

"What's wrong, Y/N?"

"I just. . . I didn't sleep that well," I said slowly. As soon as I said it, the look in his eyes fell.

"Nightmares?"

"Yes," I said softly as I pulled my arm out of his grasp and walked over to my desk. I sat down as he followed me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maverick asked gently.

"Jake talked me through it." My heart jumped into my throat when I realized what I said. "He talked me through it because. . . I had called him and. . ."

"It's okay," Maverick chuckled. "I know that you and Hangman are dating."

"Wait, you know?"

"I do," he smiled at me. "Hangman came to see me after you two first got together. He was worried that your being together would get you fired. He wanted to discuss it with me and ensure it was okay."

"I can't believe he told you," I said under my breath.

"He's crazy about you," Maverick said in a soft, fatherly tone. "Ever since you joined us, he's been different. He's been more focused, more driven, and less competitive. He's trying to prove himself without showboating. He's trying to be a better pilot, a better man, for you."

I looked down in hopes of hiding my blush. Maverick started to walk out of the office and stopped to pat me on the shoulder and whisper, "You've changed him, Y/N. In a good way."

I kept thinking about Maverick and my conversation throughout the rest of the day. As Maverick did some final training, I busied myself with running final checks on the planes and their systems.

Three days later, the team was to fly their mission. I walked through the ship, unable to calm myself. I figured that remaining in motion would help me not think about the possible risk.

I was passing the bunks when I was suddenly pulled into one of the rooms. I had just enough time to see that it was Jake before he pulled me close and pressed his lips to mine. As I slowly kissed him back, my heart sank into my stomach as I realized there was a chance that this would be our last kiss.

"What are you doing?" I gasped when he broke the kiss. "You're supposed to be getting your plane ready."

"I know," he smirked as he pulled me closer. "I just wanted to see my girl in case. . ."

"Don't," I cut him off and pulled away from him. I replaced his arms with mine. "I can't think about that, Jake. I can't think about the possibility of losing you."

"Baby," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper as he pulled me back. "I promise you that I will be careful."

"I know you will," I whispered back to him. I looked up at him, unable to stop myself. "I just can't lose you, Jake. I. . . I love you."

"I love you too, Y/N," he smiled. He slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I threw my arms around him and started kissing him back. I forced ourselves to break the kiss before we could get too into it.

"Because you love me, I need you to be smart. I know you will do everything you can to help your team but. . ."

"I will do whatever it takes to come home to you, Y/N," he gently cut me off. He smiled as he added, "I love you, Firefly."

"I love you too, Serendipity."

* * * * *

As I sat in the control room, anxiously bouncing my knee. It felt like it didn't take long for things to go wrong.

"Dagger Two defending," Rooster said. "Shit, I'm out of flares!"

"Rooster, evade, evade!" Maverick yelled.

"I can't shake 'em! They're on me! They're on me!"

Maverick moved to be above Rooster and set off his flares, blocking Rooster from the SAMs. When he was hit, the room went silent.

"Mav! No!"

"Dagger One is hit!" Phoenix yelled. "I repeat, Dagger One is hit. Maverick is down."

"Dagger One, status," Rooster tried to request. "Status! Dagger One, come in!"

"I didn't see a parachute," Payback said.

"We have to circle back," Rooster demanded.

"Comanche. Bandits inbound. Single group, hot. Recommend Dagger flow south. One minute to intercept."

"Get em' back to the carrier now," Admiral Simpson instructed.

"All Daggers flow to ECP. You have bandits headed for you."

"What about Maverick?" Rooster asked.

"Tell him there's nothing he can do for Maverick, not in a damn F-18," Admiral Simpson commanded.

"Dagger Spare request permission to launch and fly air cover."

My heart jumped into my throat as I heard Jake's request. I held my breath, waiting for their approval. I looked and watched as Admiral Simpson shook his head.

"Negative, Spare."

I could practically see Jake angrily grumbling in his plane. Today was a reminder of why working for the Navy was so painful.

"Launch search and rescue," Admiral Bates commanded.

"Negative," Admiral Simpson said quickly. "Not with bandits in the air."

"But, sir, Maverick is still out there," Hondo said.

"We are not losing anyone else today," Admiral Simpson snapped. "Get them home, now."

"Dagger, you are not to engage. Repeat, do not engage. Dagger Two, return to carrier. Acknowledge."

They were greeted with nothing but silence.

"Acknowledge," they tried again.

"Rooster, those bandits are closing," Phoenix sighed. "We can't go back."

"Rooster, he's gone," Bob said quietly. "Maverick's gone."

* * * * *

We had no idea what happened next. Until. . .

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen."

"No," I mumbled. I turned toward Hondo with my heart in my throat. He reached over and gently grabbed my hand.

"Son of a bitch," we heard Rooster laugh.

"This is your savior speaking," Hangman continued. I knew he was joking but every word made my heart sink. "Please fasten your seat belts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright positions, and prepare for landing."

"Hey, Hangman," Rooster smirked, "you look good."

"I am good, Rooster," Hangman said instantly. "I'm very good. I'll see you back on deck."

"Damn it, Jake," I whispered under my breath. Unable to control my anger or calm my nerves, I left the control room.

I nervously paced as I waited for their planes to return. I watched as each one of the pilots came back.

The second I saw Jake's plane land, I felt like my heart was finally out of my throat. Tears burned my eyes as I saw him climbing out of his plane. My legs felt numb as I walked out to the tarmac. The second he jumped down from his plane, I saw Jake's eyes search for me.

When his eyes fell on mine, he smiled but I couldn't bring myself to return it. With his helmet in his hand, he walked over to me.

"I should be angry with you," I said, my voice breaking as tears started streaming down my face, "but I'm just relieved you're back."

Jake laughed as I jumped and wrapped my arms around his neck. We could hear everyone rushing to help Maverick and Rooster but all I could focus on was Jake in my arms.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered subconsciously tightening his arms around me. "But when we thought we lost them both. . . I had to see for myself. I couldn't sit in my plane on the ship and do nothing."

"I know," I whispered as I started running my fingers through his hair. I smirked before adding, "Whatever happened to leaving your wingman out to dry?"

"What can I say?" He laughed as he broke the hug and looked down at me. "Love has the ability to change even the douchiest of douchebags."

I pouted as I tucked back into Jake's arms. "You're not a douche," I mumbled. "You were never like that with me."

[tirfpikachu]

GYNS I GOT IT ??????????????

I GOT THE JOB I ACTUALLY. DID IT

I FREAKING DID IT I'M SIGNING THE CONTRACT SOON AND THEN STARTING PAID TRAINING I'M LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm still in fuckign SHOCK

[skullsandcorals]

How I've Been Feeling About Aryan's Grover:

[cold-neon-ocean]

Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..

(my AU black version and the og green)

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[evangelistofmurder]

Paranoia is getting worse

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Guhhb. I need someone to lose my mind to right now. I ocould say a mountain of text but also. Nothing. Mhnvjvg. I. The voice actor for Axlerod- Eddie Izzard- I love listening to her comedy sketches I really do. I could go on about all her stuff but I love her things she is brilliant. Uh. And of course the reason I looked her up ages ago was because I wanted to hear just more stuff as Axlerod right. Wanted to hear Axlerod say more stuff cause she doesn't change her voice or anything when doing his voice right. But most her sketches are all on Amazon Prime, there's like two up on YouTube. But. I recently learned that she has a Spotify? ?and. She uploads some of her comedy sketches there. Which I think seeing them with video is best because the gestures and like things that she does during them is really good and adds to it but I will not complain for a minute about podcast format, nonetheless because with as much as I like her stuff I'd be better of me to just buy a CDs of all her stuff than repeatedly do a subscription for them. Anyway. That's all brilliant and fantastic cause I love her stuff and I get to hear it as Axlerod. And I don't know why but sometimes when I listen to her stuff my brain like... doesn't pick it up as Axlerod? Which it's the same exact voice. But sometimes she'll say certain things and it'll really hit me. And that's important for my second bigger thing.

So I decided to go back and listen to her sketches on Spotify again because I was looking for a particular bit but I don't know which act it's from(not that I mind going through all of them anyway) and I decided okay. Just so I keep track of which I have and haven't heard I'll start at the very bottom/with the oldest and work my way up. Which I discovered some other really really cool and awesome things there that maybe perhaps I'll just save sharing it for another day. But there were some like. Music things? That she was featured in? Like compilations of a bunch of artists that got together and did things and okay I just scrolled to where her name was at and it said she was doing it with another artist and I listened to it and I was like hm... I feel like I'd super recognize hearing her sing, no? I mean I've never heard her sing before and I am desperate for that perhaps for blatant reasons becuase. Axlerod. So I was like maybe I can look it up and see a video of it. And I felt a little bit better cause okay she didn't sing I didn't completely fail myself by not recognizing her voice. But oh. Oh. She was DOING THE PIANO. The piano. That's fantastic. Didn't know she played piano in any capacity. Maybe I will project that onto Axlerod in some time we'll see.

Now. Hold on. It gets better. So I go to the next seperate thing she was featured in, completely different compilation. Also music centered. Scroll down looking for her name. It seems to be from some other movie thing but whatever. Ah. Her name is by itself now. Perhaps I. Will hear her sing. Now. As I mentioned earlier sometimes my brain has the distinction between hearing her and Axlerod and I don't know why cause it's the same exact voice. Maybe it's the way she projects her voice or a slightttest inflection that makes the difference. Mm. Auto correct is saving me right now. I click on the Spotify thingy. Funky music starts playing that I can't explain ya just gotta hear it. Not funky as in silly bouncy but funky as in like 80s-90s funky. Like the villian is doing a swagger walk up to the protagonist with a fiendish grin like they're about to sing their entire plan and destruction. I have never seen whatever film this is from I have no clue what takes place in this darn thing. Ah. I don't know how to explain it but. Yes she does sing. And this is the most Axlerod sounding thing ever. Good grief man. Oh my days. I think it's cause in the movie Axlerod is mostly projecting his voice and doing speachy sort of things so hearing Izzard speak in a more relaxed tone my brain is still connecting the wires. But in the song she is projecting her voice more so it is there more. And I'm pretty sure if you watched me you would see it in my eyes. I could be put in a glass cage in a zoo for enrichment for others to watch right now. Pausing every five seconds and replaying it cause I want to savor this I don't want it to end. I wish there was a word for this. It's him it's him he's doing the thing guys.!!*×&#$>'w828. W. Same vibes. Same vibes. I'm going to lose it.i have to pause or else I will actually explode and erupt. Start screaming and shouting and jumping up and down and flailing and shaking my arms and my hands and running around and falling to my knees.

[zlobonessa]

NO BUT THE "LOVE IS LOVE" SIGN ON THE GLORETH STATUE IN THE END CREDITS?!?!?;! THAT'S JUST CRUEL

[jimkirkachu]

Wtf, even just browsing job sites / listings / descriptions is enough to make me nauseous with anxiety and depression. When, why, and how did I ever become such a useless and pathetic mess?

[miss-anthropyxx]

casually spiraling and dont think there's anything i can do about it at this point anymore. i wanna just give up and let myself spiral.

[starry1avender]

How it feels to still like old Moon in 2023:

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

my mom is jumping through half a dozen hoops to set up parental controls on my sister's new tablet and she's trying to get ME, AN ADULT, to join a Google family-group thing, as if I haven't been trying desperately to find a way to keep my devices and accounts separate from theirs without completely deleting everything I have.

[meownotgood]

uuggghhhh my period is making me so moody I feel so happy and then one minor thought and I start crying