#this is definitely Earth's Tar

[scientia-rex]

Best Things I Have Bought

I'm not sure how successful I will be in remembering all of it, but I'll try. These have all been game-changers for me, in a variety of ways. If teen me had had access to all of these, I would have been a vastly happier person.

This one is long, so I'll put in a cut.

-outlet timers. Not having to go around and manually turn off lamps at bedtime? Amazing. I bought these but you can and should get some that have a grounded outlet with three prongs so you can attach good extension cords to them.

-famotidine. aka Pepcid, it's the safest option I currently know of for managing acid reflux. I get nauseated when I get acid reflux, so this is a necessity for me.

-T-Gel shampoo. The only one that keeps my husband's insane dandruff under control. Coal tar shampoos smell peculiar, but are totally worth it if they work. For my hair, I like anti-dandruff conditioner--I apply it to my scalp and my other conditioners to the length of my hair. After bleaching my hair, I use Olaplex 3 to prevent more severe damage; the difference is very noticeable.

-white vinegar for a laundry rinse. I get horrendous contact dermatitis and adding this in the "fabric softener" cup in my washer keeps things from making my skin burn.

-on a similar note, all Oxy laundry booster. Doesn't make my skin burn but does make stains and smells noticeably better than detergent alone.

-Aquaphor. If you have eczema, nothing helps like Aquaphor, unless it's hydrocortisone ointment (the same white petrolatum base as Aquaphor but with hydrocortisone) or a prescribed steroid.

-Bissell Stomp 'N' Go pads. I have stomped. The stain goes.

-Prune puree. A packet a day keeps the chronic constipation at bay. Less volume to consume than prune juice and, in my opinion, slightly more palatable.

-Chinotto is a bitters-based beverage that I discovered by accident really helps my chronic nausea. I've tried other brands, and San Pellegrino is definitely my favorite. Tastes weird at first, but when heavy-duty ginger ale doesn't ease it, Chinotto can. And when that doesn't work, I have Zofran (ondansetron) my doctor prescribed me for the nausea I get with migraines, and that's an effective anti-nausea agent for more than just migraines.

-"You Just Need to Lose Weight (And 19 Others Myths About Fat People)" by Aubrey Gordon.

-rolling laundry cart. Doesn't have to be this one but if you CAN roll your laundry to and fro from the machines, do it.

-"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. If you Google, you can usually find a free pdf floating around.

-"The Vagina Bible," by Dr. Jen Gunter.

-satin scrunchies. Wet Brush. Terry cloth lined shower cap. AOA terry cloth hair turban (way, way better than similar ones from drugstore).

-stretchy work pants.

-bra liners. For large-chested people who tend to get sweaty underboob, this is a life-saver.

-Goo Gone.

-Dr. Scholls medicated foot powder and the Earth Therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray. The foot powder works for super long days and the spray for lighter days.

-Reflective heat pad. I use this on my car seat in the winter and I am so happy for that every single chilly morning. I've repurchased it... once or twice? now.

-Retin-A. I used to use Differin, which is adapalene, the most potent retinoid available over the counter, but the switch to prescription-only Retin-A has been very noticeable. Decreased wrinkles, clearer skin. More inclined to flake and burn but it's worth it for me.

-Red LED therapy. Near-infrared stimulates collagen production in the skin. The only other thing that really does that is retinoids. I bought the Omnilux mask, which is certainly high-end, but HotandFlashy (a YouTube content creator) did a great comparison of different masks available by specs and this was the best at the time. The difference is noticeable within days. I've tried other, lower-powered masks, but what made me make the jump to high-end was that I got the Dennis Gross red LED eye mask for crows' feet off eBay and I was like "holy shit, this is better." And Omnilux is better still. It makes sense, since they were the OG of the models that have been in dermatology clinics for a couple of decades now.

-AOA foundation has been at least as good at my TooFaced foundation, and it's like 1-2 bucks instead of 40. There are light, medium, and deep shades, each on different pages; I'm linking to light because that's what I use. The lightest shade works for me, and I'm basically translucent.

-AOA VitaGlow tinted moisturizer is absolutely my go-to for lighter coverage days.

-AOA PawPaw blending sponges. Best out there and also the cheapest.

-(do not buy any of the AOA eyeshadows. Total waste of time, zero pigment. I've tried repeatedly and they're just garbage. The highlights are generally fine though.)

-Direct acid foot peels. The calluses come off. Just don't do it when you have ANY open wound on the feet, because it's acid and will sting like hell.

-blendercleanser solid cleanser for blending sponges and brushes. Actually a) gets them clean and b) rinses out.

-PureWine wine wands. I let these puppies sit for three minutes in a glass and suddenly I can drink red wine without migraines or hangovers. Fucking miraculous.

-Dustbuster. Holy shit it's amazing for ADHD peeps. Small thing bugging you? Can't get yourself to bust out the "real" vacuum? USE THIS.

-Crocs. Don't @ me. I wear a black pair around the house and for garden chores and they make my feet happy. Salonpas patches and/or BenGay for a topical when you're sore--topicals are great pain relief.

-Vibrating neck pillow. Don't need it right now? Wait until your next head cold. Vibration clears sinuses.

-PooPourri. I love not having to smell poop. This, and similar products, work pretty well by trapping scent particles in the oil layer instead of letting them evaporate into the air.

-Electric snow thrower. I can't manage a large, heavy snow blower and I don't want to deal with a gas engine. This little guy helped me clear my large driveway in 3-4 hours instead of 12.

-The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, by Carl Sagan.

-Handheld home IPL for hair removal. I ordered this exact one and I like it. You can get these on eBay or Amazon for cheaper sometimes; just make sure you PROTECT YOUR EYES during flashes. Targets pigment in the hair bulb so lighter skin and darker hair work better, and deeper skin tones may burn.

-Lanolin chapstick. Makes all other chapsticks I've used look like garbage.

-Steam eye masks. ShopMissA sells these and you can find them on a lot sites; shouldn't cost more than about a dollar per mask. I ended up buying an electric eye mask because I wanted to treat my dry eye and that just felt more environmentally responsible, but I love falling asleep with these on and I can't do that with my plug-in mask.

I think this is where I'll leave it--I've gone back quite a ways in my shopping history across multiple sites and thought about my daily routines--but if any of these problems torture you, these are my suggestions.

[thewertsearch]

GA: I Woke Up A Long Time Ago GA: I Had Trouble Sleeping When I Was Young [...] GA: And When I Was Supposed To Be In My Cocoon I Would Often Wander Out To The Desert GA: Where One Day I Was Visited By A Stranger Who Dressed And Spoke In White

Oh, for the love of peace. Is there anyone that this globe-headed chucklefuck doesn’t have in his pocket?

GA: He Put Me To Sleep And I Awoke On Prospit […] GA: He Said He Was My Guardian GA: And Though He Visited Rarely I Did Regard Him As That GA: Then Later He Stopped Coming

This one might not be so bad, actually. Scratch seems curiously uninterested in Kanaya, and she bears none of the telltale signs of his manipulation.

Maybe these visits were actually just part of his day job. As Alternia's First Guardian, Scratch might be obligated to protect the Frog Temple and its associated Player, just as Bec did on earth.

GA: In Time I Began To Believe He Was A Figment Of My Mind […] GA: But Then While Playing Our Game I Learned He Was Real […] GA: And Had Been Manipulating Us All To Advance His Schemes

Bad news like Scratch gets around - but not as much as I'd like it to. Kanaya views Scratch as a menace localized to Alternia, and seems unaware that he's involved in Rose's fall, too.

GA: It Was Saddening To Learn My Fortuitous Awakening Had Been The Product Of A Nefarious Ploy GA: Youre Lucky That Your Awakening Probably Had No Such Entanglements

No, Jade's awakening was part of Vriska’s nefarious ploy. She might be a bit of a loose cannon, but I'd take her over Scratch any day.

GA: I Feel A Bit Silly That It Took Me So Long To Engage With The One Corresponding Closely With My Role GA: It Must Be A Certain Madness Im Afflicted By GA: To Orbit Those More Reckless And Dangerous Than I And More Daring For It GA: I Guess I Want To Help Them But They Never Can Be Helped It Seems

GG: are you saying rose is reckless and dangerous? GA: Yes Definitely GA: We Have Our Share Of Dangerous Players Who Seem To Do Nothing But Cause Problems GA: I Believe She Is Yours

I think it’s a little unfair to tar Rose with the same brush as Vriska - or even Terezi, for that matter. It's not like Rose has actually killed anyone, and she's generally a lot more sensible than-

...alright, touché.

GA: And If Her Insane Plan Wasnt Alarming Enough GA: She Has Been Communicating With The Stranger I Mentioned GA: And Unsurprisingly She Has Not Been Forthright About The Nature Of Their Conversations

Wait, so she does know that Rose has been talking to Scratch?

That means that Rose is almost certainly aware of the mayhem Scratch caused on Alternia. It was probably the first thing Kanaya told her, when trying to warn her - and yet, Rose is completely unfazed. When questioned, Scratch undoubtedly provided the perfect excuse.

I’m coming to realize that we probably can’t outmaneuver Scratch -at least, not while we're playing by his rules. If we really want to pull ourselves out of the web he's woven, we should focus on exploiting his 'dark spots'. Both the Scourge Sisters are aware of them, but I don't know if they've told anyone else.

GA: And Hes Not Merely A Guardian GA: Im Very Sure He Is A First Guardian GA: Like Your Lusus Was […] GG: im not sure why, but the sound of that makes me really nervous GA: I Feel The Same Way About It

I hate to tell you this, guys, but First-Guardianing is just how he pays the bills.

It's his side hustle you need to worry about.

[heartthrobin]

here kitty kitty

miguel o’ hara x gn!reader

wc: 1.2k

warnings: sunshine reader, grumpy miguel, also lovesick miguel, tooth-rotting fluff, kittens :)

an: went to go see ATSV again today and was thinking about my man so i needed to get this out. remember to reblog and comment to support your favourite writers <3

summary: you want a kitten. Miguel doesn’t want to share.

the air on earth 991 was cold.

an icy white blanket draped over the tops of the roofs in Manhattan, broken only by the red streaks whizzing between buildings - the serene snowy landscape interrupted by echoing grunts of fist colliding with metal.

even over your suit, the cold bit into your arms and up between the tendrils of your hair as you free fell down the side of a bank.

“Pav, on your left!” Jessica’s voice echoed down your earpiece.

you spat out a web at the building adjacent, body twisting and turning between the flailing green arms of the Dr Ock that had appeared on this earth where he most definitely did not belong.

a crack rung down the alleyway where Miguel’s foot connected with the anomaly’s jaw. a groan followed quickly after it and metal arms grappled at low hanging ledges, crumbling them beneath monstrous pressure.

“hey Pav,” you called your best friend over the microphone, sing-songing his name. “bet you can’t pin down more tentacles than me?”

“ha,” his voice bounced quickly back. “you are so on!”

you kicked off the edge of the red-brick side of the building, swan diving between flying metal.

thick white webs tangled over the nearest tentacle, your ankle wobbled dangerously beneath you when you landed against slippery ice-bitten tar.

“yn—“ a voice called through your earpiece again. “—stop being reckless. focus on his abdomen, it’s exposed.”

you giggled merrily, stomach swooping when your released a web and arched into a backflip far over Dr Ock’s head. “take a chill pill, Miggy.”

he hated when you called him that at work. preferred when it was shared in the privacy of his bed, when you’d lean lazily over his broad chest and pick at flecks of hair over his forehead.

“you’ll crease that pretty forehead, baby.” you crooned and then grunted, tugging down on the web that you’d managed to tangle around a metal arm.

Pavitr flew past in your peripheral vision. he sent a splatter of web straight at the anomaly’s face: there was a giant roar and the kick of Jessica’s motorcycle.

“para.” Miguel scolded, but you could hear the blush in his voice.

your mouth opened - in the corner of your eye you watched Jessica turn her head away - unleashing a supersonic scream that rippled down over the figure of Otto Octavius. trembling hands came over his ears, a useless attempt at defense, and four tentacles writhed painfully against the grey coloured sky.

Miguel and Pavitr came down in unison towards his exposed cranium.

it all seemed to end within seconds. Dr Ock concealed in the chamber of the portable prison and you panting over the sidewalk.

snow fell gently over the scene, the air unshaken by the violence down in the street. crumbled bits of rock littered car roofs and bodega doormats.

Jessica was leaning against the seat of her now parked motorcycle, Pav was strutting towards your figure and Miguel was edging down the side of the nearest building.

“i took him down so, technically, i won. you owe me a soda.”

Pavitr’s palm closed over your shoulder, warming the spot under his grip. “woah, woah woah. technically, you wouldn’t have done anything if i hadn’t screamed—“

the end of your sentence dissolved, abandoned. on the inner side of the sidewalk, close against the wall of the shut laundromat: you noticed a tiny black figure against the pure white snow.

“what—Pav look …”

you crunched through the knee high snow towards it, kneeling to scoop up the shivering creature.

two giant yellow eyes blinked down from where you held it up against the dying afternoon light.

“it’s a kitten.” your heart clenched tightly in your chest.

Pavitr reached a hand over, scratching a spot on the creature’s head with a single finger. the cat was barely bigger than a barbie doll. he meowed softly.

you tucked him against your chest, wrapping your arms over his small figure. “are you cold, sweetheart? you wanna come home with us?”

a tiny black tail swished under your arm. Pavitr laughed, “yeah. like Miguel would let that happen.”

you huffed. “that softie? he’s easy to break.”

“let’s get moving. back to HQ.” as if summoned by the mention of his name, Miguel was moving towards the team.

Jessica didn’t need to be asked again and disappeared through a blurry yellow, orange and red portal before Miguel had even fully reached the sidewalk.

the portal floated in place, buzzing and hissing with it’s brightness.

you turned to your boyfriend, black kitten tucked against you. his gaze was focused over his watch, tapping at the little yellow keyboard.

“Miguel.” you whined lowly. his eyes flickered down to you, drifting curiously over to the creature in your arms.

“mhm?” he hummed lowly, cautiously.

“isn’t he cute?” you pressed.

Miguel’s arms fell to his side. his face remained stoney. “yes. very cute.” his words were as interested as his expression. scarcely.

you stepped closer to him, invading his space in a way you knew nobody else ever could. your arms nudged his lower chest.

“he looks kinda like you, baby. all dark hair and big eyes.” as if he knew he was being mentioned, the cat stuck his little head out from the crevice of your arm to look up at the giant looming spider.

“what do you want?” he sighed softly, like he wasn’t absolutely dissolving under your sweet syrupy gaze.

“can’t we take him home?”

“you know we can’t do that.” his hands found his hips.

“he’s cold.” you shuffled forward, pressing up against his figure: jutting out your chin to rest on his warm chest. “he’s shivering, look.”

“that’s too bad for him.”

“are you really so heartless, Miguel?”

Miguel shrugged. lashes fluttering where his eyes were raking up and down your figure.

“yes.” he settled on.

it made you chuckle. your laughter bubbled against his suit, rumbling the kitten in your grasp. “no you’re not. you wouldn’t let me annoy you like this if you were.”

“maybe.” one hand came off his hip, running it’s palm over your sweaty forehead and pushing stray hairs back in place. he leaned down and pressed a warm kiss there. “but that doesn’t mean you’re keeping the cat.”

“aw, you guys are so adorable.” you’d just about forgotten that Pavitr was there. “it’s making me sick.”

Miguel flashed shining white fangs at him, a growl echoing from the depths of his throat.

“yeah, yeah.” Pavitr groaned, sidestepping his boss before disappearing into the portal. “i’ll see you two back at HQ.”

Miguel ushered you away. you set the kitten close to the door of a bakery where warm air was curling out from inside.

he was waiting for you by the portal, hand outstretched.

you took it, bumping into his side with the purest intention of annoying him.

“you gonna get me a cat, Miggy?”

he huffed. “what, so i can fight for your attention in my own apartment? no ways.”

you fell into step beside him through the portal. the headquarters appeared fuzzily into view.

“we’ll see.”

-

it took less than a week of pestering before Miguel arrived home late after work with a tiny black kitten in a box.

you’d kissed him drunk and promised that he’d forever remain your favourite clawed and fanged creature in the apartment.

he didn’t seem to mind too much after that.

to be fair, his lips were too swollen and your tongue was too far down his throat for him to protest anyways.

-

pls comment and reblog! <3

taglist:

@red-hydra @ihavemanyhusbandfandoms @ladybambifae @jimins-vanillaflavoured-cum-blog @koshi-sama @moisttowlett @gavvaiins @niffysboxers @joemamamatheslayerr @thel0v3hashira143 @bonquequehere18492 @crazy-ravioli @prettygirlpattinson @sarapaprikas-blog @novelaaaaaaaa @novadragondoll @homowitch @tamashiiraiden @airachniide @stnao @robinastro

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[thunderfrommyheart]

breaking down the misinformation in @afronerdism post about me.

Debunked by Stuart Semple himself. 

I’ve taken the time to do this because nobody wants mis-information bouncing around the internet. 

The key thing to know - in the artworld rich people have access to processes and companies that most artists don’t. That’s how they get to create giant beans which cost $20million. At the top the rich get richer, and at the bottom artists struggle to make their mark with what they’ve got. 

Vantablack is an example of a group of rich, entitled people getting together to pat themselves on the back, whilst the rest of the world watched horrified at the tone-deafness of the whole thing.

it's also worth noting whilst OP is clearly educated and understands politics they are not in any way an expert in the artworld, art discourse. I however have been in the artworld for 25 years, have written for the guardian, art of england and vogue. I have presented art programs for the BBC and have a properly published book on art history - it's out in June called 'Make Art or Die Trying'. I have studied art and art history and spoken at Oxford University, The ICA, Denver Art Msueum, Dublin Art Museum and at Frieze. I have lectured at the Royal College of Art in London. I have curated over 20 contemporary art exhibitions internationally, I have directed two galleries. I am by definition an expert.

MY BREAKDOWN: OP is @afronerdism - I've gone below them point by point

A: What Vantablack is not: a pigment. A paint. Vantablack is not something that you were supposed to use to paint with. 

SS: CORRECT - However nor is glass, chrome, powder coating, sandblasting, booze casting, tar, concrete or steel yet they are used by artists everyday. 

Whether the material/process is a paint or pigment or not doesn’t matter. 

A: Who creates and distributes Vantablack: an engineering company named Surrey NanoSystems.

SS: True. And many artists work with engineering companies every day, notable examples are Jeff Koons and Damien Hirst. Lots of artists collaborate with industry to get their work made, that is what fabrication is.  You go to Surrey NanoSystems - not to buy paint but for them to coat your work in Vantablack. 

A: Who does not do those things: an art house. A distribution company. Any kind of company that creates and distributes pigments on a massive, artistic scale. 

SS: Which is totally true and fine. However they do coat things in Vantablack for a series of clients in many different industries including fashion designers, jewelers, brands, car companies, and watch companies. They will coat anything for anyone who has the money unless they are an artist. They only accept work from Anish Kapoor as he has an exclusive license with them for art. 

A: Who was Vantablack made for: Vanta Black was made by aerospace engineers for aerospace engineers, looking for something to coat the insides of massive NASA telescopes. 

SS: Initially, but quickly was used by a lot of other industries including architects, fashion designers, bands, brands, car companies and even a deodorant. 

They are able to make it in quantities large enough to coat whole buildings as we saw when architect Asif Khan used it to coat a whole pavilion during the Pyeongchang Winter Olympic Games. 

(If had told Surrey nanoSytems he was an artist - not an architect, this would never have happened)

A: Who it was not made for: artists.

SS: Except the one with the license. (Anish Kapoor)

———————————-——————————————

A: Hopefully already just by understanding what Vantablack is, what it was made for, and who it’s made by you and other people are beginning to see what the problem is with Stuart simples narrative around Vanta black. 

SS: It’s Semple not simple. 

SS: The narrative was not created by Semple as for a few months before he shared his pink the world media was criticizing Kapoor for his Monopoly with major articles in the Guardian, Daily Mail, and BBC news. Each featured reactions from a broad spectrum of artists who spoke about the unnecessary license and the elitism in the artworld. 

A:  But you may be wondering if Vanta black is a highly toxic unstable substance made out of carbon nano tubes by aerospace engineers for aerospace engineers, working in space, then how did we get here? well, Vanta, black 2.0, if you will was created in such a way that it could be sprayed onto substances in a certain way meaning that theoretically it could be used artistically.

SS: Yes VBX2 can be sprayed, and Surrey Nanosystems have training days where they teach in-house teams how to do that. The VBX2, however, arrived quite late in the story and Kapoor’s rights started with the first version. 

A: Surround nanosystems held an exhibition where they displayed Vanta black and when artist saw this, they were inundated with calls from artist, wanting to use it in their work. 

SS:

Surrey nano systems (not surround)

They actually debut it at an airshow in England, it was all over the world media, many artists saw it. They then went on a massive PR mission and the material was seen on CNN etc. 

Kapoor became aware of it and approached them to see if he could use it in his work. 

Together they struck up an exclusive deal which would mean if any artist asked them to coat a piece of work with the stuff they would be turned away. 

That deal was something Surrey and Kapoor were initially proud of. They couldn’t see the inherent elitism in the exclusivity so they went on another PR pr to tell he world Kapoor was signed up to use it. 

It was then the artists of the world really became aware of it, and sure enough, when any of them wrote to Surrey - even really huge ones with plenty of money, they were turned away. These artists including Christian Furr and Ron Arad, amongst others were all featured across the media. =

A: But as we’ve already established surrey nanosystems is not a distribution company. They’re an engineering company. And they made the decision that they could only work with one artist, because they simply did not have the physical ability to produce Vantablack at a scale that allowed them to work with more than one person. 

SS: They did say that, but a lot later. They were always a fabrication / engineering place and there was never an idea that they would distribute the material. That’s not the problem any artists ever had with it, they all fully understood what the material was. The issue was that even if the artist had the money and could ship their work to Surrey, they would not coat the object with it, but they would serve other industries. This is seen as deeply prejudicial towards artists. 

A: (To this day, vanta Black has to be distributed by a specialized robotic arm that creates it in painfully small amounts in an enclosed box that can then be given to someone in a lab. ) 

SS: This is untrue - the arm is used to spray the objects that Surrey have agreed to coat. 

It does not make the material. The material is made by growing carbon nano tubes on a surface. 

And the spray version contains nano particles. The robot arm is used for precision when coating. 

You often see a robot arm spray cars for example. The arm is used like this. 

A: Enter Anish Kapoor: Anish Kapoor, at this time was already a world, renowned artist, and the creator of many public facing pieces, such as cloud gate, a.k.a. the Chicago Bean. His entire life‘s work was dedicated to how light is refracted and interplays with the void, making him not only the perfect person to be chosen because of prestige but also because his life‘s work spoke to the engineers who created Vanta black.

SS: Whist as an artist he has dealt with reflection and the void at length, it’s a stretch to claim his entire life’s work is dedicated to it. 

SS: It is true that as a figurehead for Vantablack he is a good choice, he’s very rich, extremely famous, he’s a Sir (i.e knighted by the queen and a turner prize winner). Plus he makes work that would look good in Vantablack. 

SS: None of this means that he needed exclusivity to do it, the company could simply have collaborated with him and if any other artist asked to have something coated, they could have easily said they were too busy or didn’t have enough of the material. 

SS: The issue is the way they couldn’t see the prejudice, elitism and lack of access in the exclusivity. 

A: Now this should’ve been seen as an incredible accomplishment and honor for this Indian artist to be chosen as the soul licensor of Vantablack as this company was only able to choose one person and people were really excited about this for him and that’s where the story ends, right? Right? Right? 

SS: It’s unclear why his race matters. He is one of the richest, most well known, most famous artists in the world. The fact he has exclusive access to a material/process like this is not a reason for people to be excited for him, people are free to be excited or not. This is purely your opinion not a fact. 

A: Enter Stuart Semple: Stuart simple was a 25-year-old man in the UK living with his mother when she came into his room and told him about Vantablack. 

SS: Stuart was born in 1980, which would make him 36 at the time. 

SS: He was not living with his mother, in fact he was living in London with his own family. 

SS: His mother did not come into his room however on a phone call she spoke to him about an article she had read in the guardian about how artists were upset by Kapoor having Vantablack. 

SS: Stuart was (and is) a well-known contemporary artist, very embedded int hat world. He has had over 20 solo exhibitions dedicated to his work all over the world and his pieces are in major collections and museums. He’s not in the league of Kapoor but in the artworld is well known as an artist. 

A: As an artist himself, Stewart simple wanted to try Vanta Black, and was told by the company that he could not.

SS: This is untrue - Stuart did not want to use the colour, nor did he approach the company. 

A:  It was then that he discovered the only person on earth licensed to use Vantablack was Anish Kapoor. 

SS: This is untrue, he was aware of this when his mother told him what she had read in the newspaper. 

A: Please keep in mind that Vantablack is not a paint, and it is so difficult to work with that Anish Kapoor has only ever produced one singular piece of art with Vantablack. 

SS: This is untrue. Tens of thousands of items have now been coated in VantaBlack, from soda cans to watches. Initially, Kapoor used his rights to create a series of limited edition wrist watches that sold for $100,000 each, and then went on to create a whole series of large sculptures that were initially shown at a huge palazzo in Venice that Kapoor bought, during the Venice Biennale, and then at an exhibition at the Lisson in NYC where there works were for sale with an average price of $500,000USD.

A: So like a child who has just been told by their mom that they can’t use something, Stewart simple decided to throw a hissy fit. 

SS: It’s Stuart Semple (not stewart simple) - and there is no evidence of any kind of Hissy Fit. However he did create a piece of internet performance art, where he put a jar of pinkest pink paint on the internet, humorously, and asked anyone who bought the paint to sign an agreement that they ‘weren’t Anish Kapoor and Associate of Kapoor and that to the best of their knowledge information and belief, the material would not make its way into the hands of Anish Kapoor’. Semple has always explained it was a tongue-in-cheek piece of performance art, and that he was never expecting anyone would actually buy any pink. The best source for this is an article in Wired in which the journalist concludes with the piece being a powerful piece of online performance art. Bearing in mind Semple is an artist who works with performance, that is extremely likely. 

A: He created a pink pigment that he conditionally said everyone could use except Anish Kapoor and then launch this pigment with the hashtag #ShareTheBlack. 

SS: He created the pink pigment in 2010 - and has made his own paints to use in his own work since he was a child. It was not made in response to Kapoor. However he did not make them public they were for his own use, and the Kapoor situation made him question his own exclusivity in keeping the materials he was making for himself. He decided to share his pink as a gesture and a piece of art in it's own right.

A: This caught the attention of the news media, and when asked about this situation, that was previously relatively unheard of, Stuart simple,

SS: Neither Stuart nor the Vantablack situation were unheard of. The media was already reporting on the controversy around vantablack long before Stuart put the pink up. Stuart was also well known which is why the media wanted to talk to him about it. 

When GQ came to do a 5 page feature on him they were clear it was because he was an established and well-known artist in his own right. 

He had already been hosting art shows for the BBC, had written for the guardian and Huffington post and had collaborated with major musicians. 

A: went onto describe Anish Kapoor as this tyrannical elitist who “banned“ the use of Vantablack to keep other artists from using it. 

SS: There’s no evidence that Semple said that, however, he was critical of the exclusive license and did feel the story opened up a well-needed discussion about access to art and the trend in which those with the money could afford to have works fabricated when others couldn’t. He is at heart an egalitarian and has made free art studios, his Designs for humanity charity, his creative therapies fund at Mind (a mental health charity) etc.. and a major free art gallery in his hometown that shows some of the biggest living artists. So Semple’s opinion is allowed, to him Kapoor epitomizes an elitism that is dominated by the super-rich, after all, Kapoor is getting close to being a billionaire. 

A: But hopefully you can already see how that is Literally not true. Anish Kapoor does not make Vanta black. Anish Kapoor cannot sell Vanta black. Anish Kapoor cannot give you permission to use Vanta black. And Vanta black is not even a paint. 

SS: He does not make it, but he does hold the exclusive right to use it in art. 

SS: No other material or process has been exclusively licensed by one artist in the history of the world. 

SS: Jeff Koons does not make his own giant steel sculptures, a factory does. Jeff can’t book your work into the factory, and steel is not a paint either. He doesn't have an exclusive agreement with the steel fabricators. If they aren't too busy with Jeff, and you've got the cash, they'll make something for you too. This is standard with art fabrication.

SS: I didn't physically make the giant steel and foam smiley sculpture of mine for the city of Denver, fabricators helped with that, and engineers. They work with several artists.

SS: This makes no sense given it is understood vantablack is a material and a process of application. 

SS: However Kapoor could surrender his exclusive right and Surrey would then be able to take bookings from artists. 

A: meanwhile Stuart has launched an entire very lucrative career around slandering and smearing Anish Kapoor 

SS: Untrue, Semple had a very successful career and his day job is as a contemporary artist. Actually speaking up about elitism in the artworld is a risky move for someone who relies on that artworld to pay his bills. 

A: when Anish Kapoor literally never did anything but be qualified enough to be the one person chosen by a company that is literally only able to work with one person at a time. 

SS: He did do something, he signed an exclusive agreement and he felt he was entirely justified in doing so. He also went out in the media and with surrey nono systems and gloated about it.

SS: They can’t only work with one person at a time, we have seen whole buildings covered in vantback, jewellery, cars and soda cans and many sculptures by Kapoor. Surrey have collaborated with thousands of brands, designers, architects and companies. 

A: The fact remains Stewart simple, very intentionally allows this narrative to continue because it makes him money. 

SS: It is unclear how it makes him money as the pink was sold for $3 which was what it cost to make, and his website which researches and distributes cutting edge materials is a non profit that collaborates with artists. They even did a crowd funder to make Black 3.0 - a super black acrylic that any artist can use. It's also unclear how he is perpetuating this narrative, when he's clearly moved on to other projects many years ago and rarely mentions it. In Semple's world it's a very small thing.

A: He has made a ton of money off of slandering Anish Kapoor as if Anish Kapoor is the reason he can’t use Vanta black when the reason he can’t use Vanta black is because no one can use Vanta black, and the only person who might be able to use it is Anish Kapoor and that is not Anish Kapoor‘s fault. 

SS: There’s no evidence at all that he’s slandered Kapoor. Kapoor being extremely wealthy, and the level of media that covered the story back in 2016 would never have allowed it. It would have been a legal nightmare. All the publications who write about the story GQ, BBC, The Guardian, Wired, have journalistic laws and it would not have happened. 

SS: There’s no evidence that Semple has made a ton of money. 

A: It is not lost on me that there are racial connotations to the story as well. There are actual companies and artists in the world who have trademarks around certain colors that they do not allow other people to use in public showcases. 

SS: There are colour marks or if you like 'trademarked colours'. The public showcases point doesn't make sense in this context - colours are protected in classes i.e certain uses on Serbian products are prohibited. EG - Tiffany blue cannot be used on jewellery boxes. 

A: But we really as a community allowed this white man to smear and slander an Indian artist,

SS: Again it’s unclear what the ethnicity of the artists has to do with the core issue. 

SS: It’s a little bit of a leap given Semple has also liberated Klein Blue (made by a white French man), Barbie Pink (owned by Mattel a corporation), and created the Brightest White. 

 A: based entirely off of misinformation, and to this day people jump on the Internet, saying fuck Anish Kapoor because of it. 

SS: Kapoor secured the rights to the blackest material ever made. Everyone else who can afford to, can use it, unless they identify as an artist. 

SS: Many people feel like that is wrong. 

A: Now, Anish Kapoor is not some struggling person. He is probably a multibajillionaire 

SS: He’s worth about 800 million according to Forbes, he’s within the top 5 most wealthy living artists.

A: And doesn’t necessarily need our sympathy. But I think the story of Vantablack is a really good case study of how misinformation spreads, and how people never bother to question the framework of a story. 

SS: In my opinion, your post is misinformation, that has been spread unquestioningly. 

[mercless]

@windchaser requested I fill out a relations meme for high noon yone from talon's perspective, and I am nothing if not indulgent. and then I went and found the original post...

Attractiveness: 

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || sexy || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || would tap that || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Let it be known that Talon will be the first creature to point out Yone's flaws after himself but we'll work on that but there's really nothing they can poke at with his looks, besides the undead elephant in the room. Even then though, 'lookin' good for a corpse' can easily be a backhanded compliment spun a hundred annoying ways. I'm not 100% certain on how you portray how Yone's spirit appears, but it is certainly a frightful thing to see. Demons are known to be afraid of gunslinger's, but usually not like this...

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted || egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexible

Drags claws down face. This son of a nice lady. Talon has seen many cowboys like Yone; Selfless, determined, stuck in their moral code like tar to a feather, standing up for what they believe is right! The other thing they all have in common is being gone well before their time, y'know. Not everyone gets to stick around past that deciding incident, and have a chance for their one-pure heart to begin rotting. It's the kind of thing to draw in the worst sorts from everywhere, to prod and poke at the soft parts to see what snaps, and what withers away faster. It's a relief Yone only keeps good company.

How likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending || fuck no! || never || no way || not likely || not sure || indifferent || I’m asexual || maybe || probably || it depends || fairly likely || likely || yeah sure || yes || would tap that || hell yes || fuck yes! || wishing that could happen right now || as many times as possible || we are already having sex

I can only picture them posing in the background of Yone's reaction to this question, a shit-eating grin and a raised brow. You're kidding, right?

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends (in denial) || good friends (huh...) || best friends || fuck buddies || bosom buddies || practically the same person (and denying it in unison) || would die for them (later on- wait what?!) || true friends || my only friend

Talon hasn't had a real friend before, not ones that are or were mortal anyway. They definitely have 'friends' that can fight and most likely best them, though. All to say, they're not exactly good at this whole new thing. Best if they both keep their distance and try to get this quest of theirs over and done with as quickly as possible to go back to tormenting and threatening to kill the other, respectively. Or fail and then it's over, too.

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird (fascinated) || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them (derogatory) || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool (derogatory) || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them (derogatory!) || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

Steeples my fingers evilly. Oh, that Crossroads Saloon is full of entertainment, so kind of the old barkeep to set something up tailor-made for their enjoyment. A twisted soul like his is a rare sight, even for their ancient eyes. Sorry Yone, it's just their nature to cause a little trouble. Think of it as a little taste of what's to come... afterwards.

Current impression of them:

I hate them so much (affectionate...) || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird (still fascinated) || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them (shh) || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

It's a full-time job, being a gunslinger's biggest annoyance and also a supportive shoulder for him to lean on. It seems fitting that the cursed cowboy gets a guardian angel that only fits the role on a technicality. Talon's still afraid of him and his promise before their truce. But not as much as their growing care for him.

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || makes me moan || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

Even if it's walking around, mighty strange to kiss a corpse...

A little something for the little witch;

Attractiveness: 

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || sexy || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || would tap that || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Talon rarely sees young people like her, or any younger. It's like a 'oh, right!' reminder to their existence. That despite it all, life miraculously continues on. Her naivety and wide-eye reaction to new experiences are cute, plain and simple. But beyond that her looks are not at the forefront of the demon's mind, usually preoccupied with her latest question, or admiring her metalwork and wondering if they can ask their own questions about it.

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted || egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexible 

As much as the thought of being asked countless questions sounds irritating, Talon just cannot find it in their black-ichor heart for Rell to be annoying with her endless quest of learning. It makes it difficult to keep things under wraps they would otherwise keep close and hidden. They like hearing her own ideas too, finding this strange place where... they choose to carry a conversation with her about their findings and theories. And although she's young and inexperienced, Rell is still very powerful with her magic and raw talent. This all makes Talon uncomfortable, in how easy it is for them to get along...

How likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending || fuck no! || never || no way || not likely || not sure || indifferent || I’m asexual || maybe || probably || it depends || fairly likely || likely || yeah sure || yes || would tap that || hell yes || fuck yes! || wishing that could happen right now || as many times as possible || we are already having sex

Just no. there are better things in life Talon can waste their time doing than calculating how many times over they are older than the young witch. But please, ask them for more advice on romance, and heed it well; a blade from a place of love has a lot of mean- wait where are you going?

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends || good friends || best friends || fuck buddies || bosom buddies || practically the same person || would die for them || true friends (?) || my only friend

Head in hands none of you (the two of them) will ever understand what it's like to be a thing made of evil and then care for another creature's wellbeing. This is worse than Talon's fear that one day they'll be hunted down by the powder witch and the haunted gunslinger because unlike that, this care is a new feeling. It doesn't need to be said, but Rell is the first Talon considers a real friend. They don't care to ask if the feeling is mutual.

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

First introductions could have been far smoother without someone interrupting, but regardless, the girl has a sensible, if cross, head on her shoulders. And Talon can respect it. Whether this was before or after Yone's influence, they cannot tell, but it is still there in subtle ways. She certainly takes their journey down a different path than the demon was expecting, but they're more concerned about how her inclusion makes the gunslinger even more difficult to maneuver around. They can totally be trusted to ride Sebastian, though. It's a long, rough road by foot...

Current impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them (platonically, in a carer way...) || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || makes me moan || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

there's gotta be better ways to practice romantic techniques out on the range. But if you're ready to listen to more romantic advice-

rating meme

[colibrie]

Confrontations-Double Down, part I

Art credit to the incredible @trilobitepunch

“We’re nearly home…”

Silence met his cautious words, and Mikey chanced glancing away from the shuttles view screen to take in his brother. Leo lay over one of the vehicles rear benches, long legs a messy sprawl and crossed wrists pressed tightly over his eyes. The mouth that so rarely lost its smile was pressed into a deep frown, a minimal improvement on the grimace it had been when Mikey had dumped him there in the scrambled haste to get them in the air and away.

It had not been the smoothest of exits. For all his many talents and interests, he would be the first to admit he knew very little about shuttles, and thus usually left the flying to Leo or their father. But he knew the basics, and a few small dents here and there seemed a small price to pay when every other breath from his prone brother seemed to come attached to a whimpered hiss of pain.

Those had died out too during the two-hour trip home, submitting to silence. This silence was not like the one on the moon, the one that had left his big brother an unrecognizable husk. This one was rare, but unpleasantly familiar, a heavy hush that clung to air like tar, obnoxiously smothering all it encountered.

It wasn’t often that Leo got angry, but the silence foretold a storm brewing behind those crossed wrists.

“Lee?” He tried again, voice wavering uncertainly as he clutched the controls, swallowing hard as the ground grew steadily closer. “I know you probably feel five different kinds of not great right now, but..uh…you remember the last time I tried landing the shuttle on my own, right?”

They still hadn’t removed all the scratches from along the underbelly of the ship.

His mouth went dry as an alarm chimed on the consul, the alert that said it was time to begin the landing sequence. Hands that were definitely not shaking hesitated over the control panel, a heart that was definitely not pounding skipping a few beats as the multitude of colorful switches and buttons became suddenly incomprehensible. Was…was he supposed to extend the landing gear? No, no that came after engaging the…what? The V-Tol! Which were next to the…the…

“This one first.”

Leo’s warm hand wrapped around his smaller one, guiding it to the correct switch while his other reached around to steady the hand still resting on the yoke. Mikey sagged, heart rate dropping back to a more acceptable rhythm as Leo’s chin came to gently rest on the top of his head.

It didn’t fix anything. The storm beyond the silence still loomed, simmering and churning. The events of the day still painted their skin in swirls of dusty bruises. But here, wrapped up in his brother’s embrace as Leo walked him through the landing procedure yet again, their home in clear view down a familiar winding path, things didn’t seem nearly so overwhelming. Panic took a few steps back, making some room for rational thought to start parsing out the cloud of “Omigosh,” and “What just happened?” that kept obscuring his thoughts.

“Easy. Keep her steady. Touch down in 3,2,1…”

 The shuttle bounced slightly as its struts met solid earth, the hull groaning and pinging softly as Mikey and Leo worked together to shut down the engine and run through the post flight checks. Leo’s arms disappeared as the back hatch whooshed open, replacing sterile ship air with the humid scents of swampy moss and sun warmed trees. Mikey slumped back in his seat and let relief sweep over him like a wave, tension unraveling from his limbs as he tried to crack his neck.

“Whew, home sweet home! Thanks for the save Leon…Leo?”

The pilot’s chair squeaked as he turned, expecting to feel the pressure of a teasing noogie or the warmth of an arm pulling him up. But neither came. The cabin was empty, and Leo’s form was rapidly disappearing down the path.

“Leo!”

Mikey threw himself out of the chair, scrambling to catch up to his elder brother’s longer strides.

“Leo, slow down!”

Leo did not slow down. He did not even pause to acknowledge Mikey as he stalked towards their house. The sun beat down, dappling their path with shadows, yet the atmosphere between them hung heavy as the storm gained speed. Dark clouds of emotion swirled and danced in Leo’s shadow, flickering, and snapping in the folds of his coat. His back and arms were ram rod straight, invisible currents of electricity barely held back by flesh and bone. Hands that had been so gentle on his only moments ago were now clenched into fists so tight that the knuckles on his skin had turned a pale green.

“Leo…what’s going on?” Mikey tried again, his own arms rising to hold himself in a hug as the barometric pressure of Leo’s emotions pulled dangerously at the residues of his own fear and confusion.

“Who were those guys? Why were they trying to kill us?! Why was the little one so upset with you? He said…. he said you promised him something?”

His questions finally seemed to hit home as Leo slowed, and Mikey took it as a sign to keep going. Not that he had much of a choice. Now that he had gotten his initial questions out words and feelings rushed together, bubbling past his lips like water from a fountain.

“Those armored guys didn’t just find us by accident, did they? They were looking for us. They know us. Or at least, they know you. And you know them too, don’t you? That’s why you froze up.”

Leo stopped. Frozen once more in the middle of the path, as though Mikeys words were some kind of mystic spell.

“C’mon LeeLee, talk to me,” he begged, keeping his voice feather soft and open around this oldest of childhood nicknames. His heart panged as Leo’s shoulders dropped, stark pain splitting through the storm like a flash of lightning. It was unusual for his brother’s true feelings to be so openly displayed; Mikey would not waste the opportunity.

“You don’t have to face this alone. I’m here. I may not know who they are… and I really don’t know how to explain this, but…it hurt to see them,” Mikey continued, shrinking in on himself a little at the mention of his own tangled emotions. “It felt…wrong. Everything about that was wrong. We shouldn’t have been fighting them and as much as I’m glad we got away its…like something is missing now. In here.”

He pointed to his chest, towards the dull pain that was slowly making itself known in the depths of his heart.

“Mikey…”

The return of Leo’s voice was a welcoming sign, but he did not let it sidetrack him.

“Tell me what is happening.”  

“I…It’s…”

“Ahem.”

Both boys jumped, shocked faces whipping up in tandem to stare at the diminutive form of their father, suddenly standing before of them on the path.

“H-hey dad!” Leo coughed, cheeks contorting awkwardly as he quickly pulled out his signature ‘Faceman’ smile. “How’s it going?”

“Would one of you care to explain where you have been all day?”

Mikey winced, slipping to stand slightly further behind Leo as his father tried to pin him with a piercing glare.

“We were on a supply run, remember? You asked me to go two days ago?” Leo swept in, shoulders casually shrugging to pull the focus back to him.

“I did indeed, Leonardo. Yet, curiously, I see no supplies. Only two sons, one of whom was supposed to stay home today, who look like they have been a brawl.”

“Ehehehe, what? Come on dad, does that sound like us?” Leo laughed, waving one hand through the air in airy dismissiveness. “The market was kinda light on the supplies we needed, and I wasn’t gonna waste our funds on substandard stuff. I’ll go back in a few days once the new shipments come in. As for the rest, it’s kinda a funny story actually. See there was this-”

“If its so hilarious,” Splinter cut in, “then I am sure Michelangelo would be delighted to tell me all about it.”

“M-me?” Mikey squeaked, fingers tapping and sweat breaking out across his brow as splinters beady eyes turned expectantly to him. “I-uh-well…”

“I am waiting to be amused,” his father prompted, deadpan gaze boring into Mikey as the pressure mounted.

“The thing is…we…we went to the market-”

“We established that.”

“Right! Right hahaha. Um, and then after that we, uh… we went…”

“Keep it together Mikey,” Leo mumbled under his breath, smile taking on a sharp edge as he shot a covert glare over his shoulder. “Remember what happens to snitches.”

“Do not interrupt!” Splinter snapped, tail whipping out to smack Leo’s side. Pain tightened the corners of Leo’s eyes, his breath hissing from between clenched teeth as the eldest fought to keep his posture normal. A fight easily noted by their father.

“Is that also part of the ‘funny story’?” Splinter demanded, an edge of concern creeping into his voice as he leaned in towards Leo.

“M-Maybe?” Mikey stuttered lamely, resolve crumbling under his father’s scowl and the renewed evidence of the day’s impacts. “We, uh, maybe took a slight detour on our way so that I could work on…stuff.”

“Mikey!”

“What kind of ‘stuff’”

“Um...f-force stuff?”

“Mikey, shut up!”

“And while we were there, completely minding our own business and not bothering anyone, these two guys showed up and then one of them started yelling at Leo about promises and the other tried to cut me into itty bitty pieces! And the first guy threw Leo into a wall and the whole building started coming down but we got out of there and we flew straight home and,um…that’s about everything.”

The sound of flesh meeting flesh was loud as Leo’s face met his palm.

“How many times,” Splinter started, arms waving and voice quickly growing in volume, “have I told you boys not to trifle with the force? How many times have I told you of the dangers that could befall us if you are recognized. You stole my holocron, didn’t you?! I knew I should have thrown that thing into a black hole when I had the chance!”

Mikey shrank back as their father’s angry rant continued, gaze shifting anxiously between his father and brother. Leo stood with his arms crossed, posture and facial expressions set in a carefully cultivated mask of disregard and boredom. He knew that look, it was one Leo wore when he didn’t want his true thoughts or feelings to be perceived, a near flawless fortress. Except for his eyes. Mikey had learned that Leo’s eyes were never as fully guarded as the rest of him, and right now his eyes were dark with the storm that surged and strained to get free. A storm that was now fully focused on their father.

“You two are never to do this again, do you hear me?! How long has it been going on?!”

“Jee, I don’t know pops,” Leo replied, voice flippantly cold and smooth in a way that sent shivers down Mikey’s spine. “How long were you going to lie to us?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Splinter growled, scowl deepening.

“Lee, don’t,” Mikey whispered, reaching out to grab his brother’s shoulder in an attempt to defuse the impending explosion, only to have his hand shrugged away as Leo turned to fully face their father.

“How long were you going to lie to us about Raph and Donnie being alive?”

Their father froze, shock obliterating all traces of anger as he stared at them.

“Wh-what?”

“Raphael and Donatello are alive,” Leo enunciated, lightning snapping between the vowels. “We weren’t caught by some random bounty hunters; we were caught by our brothers. Brothers with red lightsabers, dressed in black armor. Brothers you said were dead.”

“Wait…what?!” Mikey gasped, neck cracking as his head whipped between the opposing members of his family. “Those guys are…but…how?! They died years ago!”

“Great question Miguel,” Leo muttered darkly, “any thoughts, dad?”

“I…no, that… that is impossible,” Splinter stuttered, his hands shaking as one rose to cover his open mouth.

“That ‘impossible’ put me through a wall! Not into one, through it!” Leo snapped, taking a single step forward. “That ‘impossible’ tried its hardest to slice Mikey into ribbons! That-”

“Leo, stop!” Mikey commanded, flinching but standing firm as the ferocity in his brothers’ glare was momentarily diverted to him. “I get you are upset and confused. I am too. But if we want answers, let dad talk.”

For a long moment, nothing was said. Leo glared, defiant, and Mikey waited, face soft and expression gently pleading. Splinter watched, face grave as he waited for his sons to reach a verdict. Finally, Leo’s shoulder slumped, storm clouds contained once more as he crossed his arms and stepped back, silently facing their father with a brusque nod.

“Okay dad, start from the beginning,” Mikey encouraged, plastering on what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “What happened to Donnie and Raph to make you believe they were dead?”

Splinter sighed, bowing his head as his eyes unfocused, staring into the past.

[marta-bee]

More Aldarion & Erendis time. I want to take a step back from all the fun character-drama between our titular leads and talk a bit about the political situation. It's definitely turning how I think of the Numenor story on its head, but in a good way.

I've always thought of Numenoreans as prideful men who saw themselves as better than other men, their natural rulers, etc. Very imperial stuff. Very prideful generally, and pride goeth before, etc. Their thinking they could bring Sauron as a captive into their own land. The very questioning of mannish mortality. It's what did them in in the end.

A&E is set in a much earlier time though. Aldarion is only five generations removed from Elros, and was only born about 250 years after Elros died. And for the most part they're unconcenred with the wider world. You see this in Meneldur's pushing Aldarion to remain in Numenor and not go adventuring abroad, long before he married Erendis or even began courting her. His first duty was to love and know his own land, and for the people of Numenor to know him. It feels isolationist, but I don't take it in the modern Trumpian sense or even the America staying out of WWI while Europe bled and died sense. There's this idea that the Numenoreans have been given a gift of peace and having enough, and it's their job to live in that and let it heal their national soul.

Gil-Galad sends Tar-Meneldur a letter that changes that.

Ereinion Gil-galad son of Fingon to Tar-Meneldur of the line of Eärendil, greeting: the Valar keep you and may no shadow fall upon the Isle of Kings. Long I have owed you thanks, for you have so many times sent to me your son Anardil Aldarion: the greatest Elf-friend that now is among Men, as I deem. At this time I ask your pardon, if I have detained him overlong in my service; for I had great need of the knowledge of Men and their tongues which he alone possesses. He has dared many perils to bring me counsel. Of my need he will speak to you; yet he does not guess how great it is, being young and full of hope. Therefore I write this for the eyes of the King of Númenórë only. A new shadow arises in the East. It is no tyranny of evil Men, as your son believes; but a servant of Morgoth is stirring, and evil things wake again. Each year it gains in strength, for most Men are ripe to its purpose. Not far off is the day, I judge, when it will become too great for the Eldar unaided to withstand. Therefore whenever I behold a tall ship of the Kings of Men, my heart is eased. And now I make bold to seek your help. If you have any strength of Men to spare, lend it to me, I beg.

Should they keep living in peace, content in their little island's safety, or should they start preparing for war? And Meneldur knows he can't decide, abdicates the throne, and lets Aldarion step in.

It's a good impulse, to help, but it's borne out of a morally rotten premise. This is Sauron, of course everyone should help. But to think that the Numenorean uniquely are able to help, and that the men of Middle-earth are incapable of resisting Sauron sticks in my craw. It sets up the Numenoreans as having a natural nobility somehow missing from other men. Where what Glorfindel should be doing is recognize the potential for good in the humans not yet caught under Sauron.

Perhaps he's doing that too, or at least trying to. But the point is, I don't think the Numenoreans get to see that. They think they're specially responsible for resisting Sauron, which makes them special and other men almost chattel.

As an American, I'm feeling more than a bit seen, and not in a good way.

As a Tolkien fan, I'm a bit uncomfortable with how much I suspect Tolkien accepted this. It's not a stretch to imagine him viewing the English as the protectors and saviors of all those grubby men who could not be trusted to govern themselves. (Talking about Africans, Asians, and all sort of then-British colonies here.) I need to think about whether the rest of the Numenor story is a critique of that idea; whether this belief in their own superiority and their being central to fighting against Sauron was a subtle kind of pride that led to their fall or whether he thought of that later pride as something else entirely.

I like thinking they're connected because it makes for a better story. But I'm not sure if it's what Tolkien meant here. I know if he meant Gil-Galad's assessment to be genuine, I don't like that.

[avillanappears]

godzilla x kong: the new empire

"For most of human civilization, we believed that life could only exist on the surface of our planet. What else were we wrong about?"

okay, I kind of fell off doing this, but we’re back! the best ever tumblr review series that’s written by avillanappears.tumblr.com! I came in not expecting much, but it turns out I really, really liked it, actually! I’m more pleasantly surprised than anyone, godzilla vs kong rubbed me very much the wrong way. godzilla and kong beating the ever-loving tar out of each other was fun, sure, but I have WORDS for the human stuff. I could fill a whole post with those, probably, but we’re not talking about that! we’re thinking good thoughts, about the one I liked!

it’s definitely a fun adventure film. hollow earth was a much more fleshed out setting this time, I loved the varieties of locales and creatures. giant, flying flamingo fish that shoot electricity? kong crossing a rickety bridge made out of the spine of a monster so massive, that it’s kaiju sized compared to him? this is exactly the sort of thing I wanted to see! it was fascinating seeing kaiju sort of “on their level”, in a whole giant sized ecosystem made for them. we got some of that in the atomic time of monsters by @tyrantisterror, and I think it’s such fertile ground to explore. godzilla’s flirted with the idea before in both its netflix animes, but this is them really committing to it. it makes my worldbuilding and specbio freak heart happy. we even got to see more hellhawks! I love those guys.

lookit that face

okay this is going pretty long, but anyhoo, I liked the character stuff too. kong was as lovable as always, you really feel for the big lug. even though he’s a living god the size of a mountain, there’s a real vulnerability to him. he’s just a sad, lonely guy who wants purpose and belonging.

he and suko had some kind of fast, but still very nice bonding. the human side was fun too, they fixed a lot about what I didn’t like from the last movie. jia had more of an arc going instead of just being “the one kong talks to”, bernie was a lot more enjoyable since they cut out the weird conspiracy theorist stuff, trapper was a fun guy. it was nice just seeing someone who loves monsters and weird nature stuff.

skar king surprised me with how personal of a threat he is, they really let him feel like a horrid, nasty piece of work. he’s more than just a big evil overlord, he’s a bullying control freak who wants everything his way, and it makes his wretchedness more tangible in a way.

shimo didn’t get all that much, but I love shimo. I love her, and I can barely even tell why, there’s just some kind of Vibe to her I resonate with. I think it’s how mythical she feels. the oldest of a line of gods, a great being of ice, controlled by a wicked devil….in fact it all felt very mythic. I appreciate that, I love it when kaiju works play out like weird mythological epics.

probably the most tangible complaint I can think of right now is that the godzilla stuff was pretty underwritten. it honestly felt like he was just….doing video game sidequests or something. like, it didn’t have Impact up until the very end when he finally meets kong and SPOILERS SPOILERS. and it feels a shame to kill scylla and tiamat off this early, I liked those two as unpredictable wildcards. with rodan and the others still mia, and two titans unceremoniously dead, it’s starting to feel like the monsterverse is sorta….flattening itself? now that kongs arc is done, I think we need to get back to a godzilla solo or two, flesh things back out a bit. but that’s for future peter to talk about, today we’re leaving things off on a high note. fun characters, dynamic locales, some great monster brawling, this one was a good’un!

godzilla cast monkeys into hell for their sins

[ohwhataniight]

"Oh what a night" – The case of the BBC Sherlock transmasc aesthetics: Relating to problematic masculinities in search for identity

So I sat down and rewrote this silly essay I wrote one day after returning from my trip to the US. Flaneurism at its best (or at its worst, idk). Please bear with me but definitely send in your feedback if you read and feel like it, it means the world to me and it will definitely help me unpack some of my problematicness! Thank you <3

I take a deep drag of my American Spirit cigarette whilst the tail ofmy long black coat swishes behind me dramatically. Dusk-time Boston is lit up. The skyscrapers towering over my tiny figure are glittering against the dark through the blurry lens of my camera phone.

I am consciously imitating the aesthetic of the modern but also always Victorian BBC Sherlock, in the scene following John and Mary’s wedding, in which the world’s only consulting detective surrenders to his noble, quiet pining for his not-gay best friend.

What even is masculinity, anyway? What would I like it to be?

The creators of the series, Gatiss and Moffat, spent 10 years religiously denying the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship between the two protagonists, while driving the hordes of fans into delirium every time that Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) and John (Martin Freeman) made love with their eyes or confessed their devotion to one another. Despite the queerbaiting, the homophobia and the sexism in the Moftis series, despite the 4th season fiasco, despite the actors denying the possibility of their characters ever running together into the sunset, Sherlock himself never denied being queer. Gay, asexual, demisexual, the interpretations are many, a breath of representation in the relative democracy of fandom. And as if that wasn’t enough, Sherlock and John end up canonically raising John’s daughter together at their 221B Baker Street apartment.

The modernized urban Victorian aesthetic, the provocatively coded dialogues, the deep homosociality, and the simple, pure bitterness towards the creators, renders the community of Johnlock fans more alive than ever almost 10 years after the series’ finale. In some hidden, bright corners of the internet, like fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.com, women and queers publish analyses and fanfiction in which they explore the endless galaxy of human genders, sexualities, and forms of kinship, writing the insufferably British male characters as women, non-binary, FTM, Alpha and Omega, pregnant, high, and always together - two human animals exploring bodies and experiences that belong to us in the shelter of Baker Street, with their landlady, Mrs. Hudson, being their most ardent shipper. We write entire full-length novels for free, with our sole motive being the exploration, the practice in writing, and the communication with other queers, other women, other people who feel like us and live in different sides of the earth which, despite Sherlock not remembering, keeps on orbiting the sun with the certainty born by a Johnlocker for their OTP being endgame.

Back to Boston now, which looks like Glasgow on steroids, with its red brick buildings and the glass towers that pierce the skies - it doesn’t feel as cozy and familiar to me as European cities, but it is big enough to swallow and hide me, safely, away from the suffocating and often murderous, homotransphobic gaze of my motherland, Greece. Boston feels big enough to make me feel free, invisible, and at the same time more visible than ever.

Here’s how I made it happen: in the name of an egotistical but seductive flaneurism, in the idea that here I can be non-binary and roaming the streets while smoking without thinking that, at any given moment, I might be spotted by the people from whom I’m hiding both facts, I end up romanticizing a stroll on stolen land, as well as the tar in my lungs. I feel the need to wander around, heavily perfumed, with a hanful of product in my hair, dressed androgynously in a way that my mother only accepts because she doesn’t understand the meaning of it, smoking as the soundtrack of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons’ December 1963 (Oh What a Night) blasts through my old headphones. As a queer person living in Greece, I never felt that the streets belonged to me. I’ve always felt like a pariah looking for somewhere to belong to, and the irony of going after that feeling in America as a white European tourist brings a certain sourness to my mouth. Is that how Columbus felt? Was he a sissy who didn’t feel accepted by his mum in their suffocating mediterranean society? No, fuck that thought. Fuck that circle, fuck everything I've been taught by the writers of history. I decide to leave these streets to their people, without it meaning that I’ve suddenly found the courage to reclaim my own back in motherland.

Exhaustion, flight, cowardice? Survival.

Later I will learn that the American Spirits with the Native American on their turquoise box are anything but native-owned. What’s certain is that, in this trip, I found solace while smoking stolen land.

What does that make me? A citizen of the world?

After all, in the entire trip, I pretend I’m Sherlock, the whitest man to ever white man. It’s not as if I don’t have my own personality - at least I hope that I do. It is that through relating (to fictional characters, actors, role models who remind me of an aesthetic I had to��build from scratch for my trans self, with the help of other queer people who created fanart or fanfiction, moulding new arhetypes) I find a vehicle for the exploration of my existence more easily, I see my reflection (or the one I’d like to have) in the mirror. In the fandom nobody tells you how to imagine your favourite characters and how not to. Nobody tells you how to write yourself, and nobody blames you for doing it. You create with self-indulgence, and you’re applauded for it. And that saved my life.

For years I related to a genderfluid Tonks, a trans Remus Lupin, a fanon Jean Prouvaire from Les Mis. Through all those experimentations and games, the changing of clothes in the dark, the opening and closing of the closet door, I found a name for myself: Sam. And Sam, like every other trans masculinity with the name Sam, Skye, Noah, and Eliott, contains multitudes. 

For the timebeing, my persona of choice is that of Sherlock, perhaps the most insufferable (and one of the most privileged) characters in the history of British TV (which says a lot). “What do you have in common with that emotionally constipated man?” you ask me because you know that my own sentiments are constantly dancing naked before me. I wonder why that is. Indeed, what do I have in common with that guy and end up projecting so much on him? Me, who hesitates to even cancel a doctor’s appointment in pursuit of constant politeness and people-pleasing (AFAB, you see).

When Sherlock’s landlady, Mrs. Hudson, disapproves of his manners and threatens him with a tete-a-tete with his mother, Sherlock gives her his blessing, saying: “You can if you like, she understands very little”.

Sherlock and his turbulent relationship to his parents. Sherlock who always observes everything while staying outside, because he doesn’t know how to get in. Sherlock, always so different that he’s used to people laughing at him, gaping at him with awe, or wanting to punch him in the face. Sherlock who always attracts attention simply because he functions the way he functions, constantly failing to be a normal human being. Neurodivergent Sherlock, camp Sherlock, forgotten-in-another-era, flaneur Sherlock, who even in the Gatiss series (especially in the Gatiss series) is desperate to love, but he never manages to get it right. And finally, Sherlock the logical, the detached, the cynic: masculine elements that I never managed - and was never allowed to - acquire, and which I desperately, problematically craved, because in society and inside me they have been coded as masc.

I am the opposite Sherlock, and that makes me even more of a Sherlock, I decide, and if that helps me sleep at night, then so be it, for now. 

As Hil Malatino writes in the chapter Fall Out Boy is Trans Culture of his essay Surviving Trans Antagonism: “The boy at the center of a [Fall Out Boy track, brackets mine] is [...] being eminently braggadocious and narcissistic [...]. He’s stationed directly at the center of a completely solipsistic universe. No matter how insufferable this kind of guy is in reality, I would have killed for a fraction of his swaggering self-confidence as a kid” (Malatino 2020, 17).

What even is masculinity, anyway? What would I like it to be?

“Do I look like Sherlock?” I ask you, hopeful and doe-eyed as I prance around in my black suit inside the house while packing for the trip. “Sherlock is gender, you know.”

“Do you really want to know how I see your gender? 100% honest-to-God?” you ask mischievously.

“Yes, I do,” I’m hanging from your lips.

“You are, deep inside your soul, in this tartan robe of yours, Bananas in Pyjamas.”

I think about it. Not exactly Sherlock. I smile though. I see my gender in your words. Goofy, boyish, vintage, loud, sleepy, badly dressed: Me. Headcanon accepted.

If headcanon and fanon - that is, reclaimed - Holmes played by (problematic) Cumberbatch teaches me how to be a boy or a man, then so be it, because I hope that my performance will be filtered, as much as possible, through my “girlish” (though still white) sensibilities. That, and the fact that there is a child inside me who never got to live as an openly, unashamedly neurodivergent, inquisitive little boy. Because there is a masculine side inside me that I must hide every day when I go to work. So I put together a playlist, I put on my scruffy headphones, and I tar my lungs, just a little more, a little longer until I’m able to finally leave my country for good and feel ready to love myself as I am. My coat swishes behind me as I dance alone on the street, invisible among the crowd, yet feeling more visible than ever before.

CITATIONS: Malatino, H. (2020). Trans care, University of Minnesota Press. https://doi.org/10.5749/j.ctv17mrv14

[tamamatango]

Friendship Power Scaling (normal thing to do)

Hello space frog fans, how’s everyone? Take another random off-the-cuff analysis post while I procrastinate on the more significant things I’m supposed to be doing (including the Project I plan to reveal when I put up the next part of said project) because I feel like my brain is melting like candle wax these days.

Here’s a topic I’m sure people have thought about but not really put a quantification to: I will be ranking the Keroro Platoon and their partners by their mutual closeness, as in which have the most believable Platonic Soulmates dynamic. (Read: strictly platonic we do not ship any of these in this house.) Why? Idk do I look like I know why I do anything?

So first place is Keroro and Fuyuki. Duh. Literal world-saving levels of bestest best besties forever, would be completely devastated without each other, needs very little explanation really. I guess it is sort of funny that in terms of demeanor they are maybe the least similar out of the duos but they adore each other so much it just doesn’t even matter.

Second I would say is Dororo and Koyuki. Koyuki rescued Dororo both physically and emotionally and completely changed his outlook on everything pretty much, and Dororo is Koyuki’s only real constant in her life from the village. Dororo is pretty overtly more loyal to her and their shared duty to the Earth than he is to the platoon lmao. More pronounced in the manga but still. It’s kinda hard to pinpoint their exact relationship (siblings? Dororo is her dad? Koyuki is his emotional support human?) but their bond is definitely Very Special. Even in the new project trailer Koyuki is holding him, they are so friggin sweet dude.

For third I’m gonna be spicy and say it’s Kururu and Saburo yes I am very biased but hear me out. Despite being the only pair that doesn’t live together it is heavily implied that they are near perfectly in sync but just have a really weird indirect communication system that’s sort of obscured from the audience and even more so the rest of the cast. They act nonchalant about it but they will drop whatever they’re doing immediately if the other needs a solid no questions asked. In the manga they’re even more openly buddy-buddy with all the 親友 and マブダチ talk (anime Kururu is tsun af and pretends he’s too cool for friendship) but they get even less screen time together so rip. I’ve spent more than enough time on these two before but yeah they have extreme best bro energy everyone else just isn’t big-brained enough to Get It.

Fourth is Tamama and Momoka. They’re very much cut from the same cloth and are definitely like siblings, helps that they’re the closest in age out of all the pairs (Tamama might even be a little younger than Momoka depending on what exact Keronian age theory you subscribe to). Momoka pampers Tamama like a pet, they occasionally boost each other via training, and Tamama helps with Momoka’s Love Schemes. But despite the fact that they are kindred spirits in several ways I think they put their pursuits of Keroro and Fuyuki a little above their friendship. And Momoka is not afraid to just kinda kick Tama’s ass, sometimes for good reason sometimes for no reason lol. They still love each other they’re just not as deep in each other’s heads as the higher duos.

And finally the take that would get me tarred and feathered in earlier Keroro fandom days which is putting Giroro and Natsumi last. Okay, so we know Giroro is for better or worse extremely dedicated to Natsumi in an arguably unhealthy way (well, it’s not rly arguable lol, but it’s more innocuous if you headcanon father figure theory and not The Other Thing). But does Giroro have the same level of importance to Natsumi? Eh, I mean she sees him as a close family friend and she obviously really cares about him plus certainly favors hanging out with him well over the other little guys (though she is closer with Keroro than it seems), but I think the affection is very lopsided on one end here. They both have a warrior-like disposition and a soft side but idk how much they relate outside that. And they’re not really each other’s clear BFF in the same way the other duos are since Natsumi has Koyuki and Giroro has Keroro (and Dororo as part of the RGB trio but it’s Keroro who is specifically stated to be his Best Friend in the manga). Their friendship is very cute but they just don’t have the same Unbreakable Bond Sauce that the others have yknow. And sadly they kinda Have to be a little less good at reading each other for the Giroro pining over her jokes to land. Sadly.

Well that’s it, kind of ironic the explanations got longer the lower down the list but that’s more where I felt I had to justify my positions. Like nobody is going to argue me about Keroro and Fuyuki right. At least I hope not because then I think we might have watched a different show? I mean I guess they win a bit less overwhelmingly in Sgt Frog Abridged maybe you watched that. Fuyuki gives Keroro a speech about how fucked up he is in that one that was surprisingly metal

[brevityisnotmywit]

Waiting For The Worms

Rabid Pneumonia: Also known as Tar Lung, or Wet Lung. A respiratory disease that eventually attacks the brain of its host, driving them to violence.

The pandemic has been ravaging Equestria for five months...Twilight is running out of time.

(Content Warnings: Zombie AU, Gore, Major Character Death, Disease.)

Five months have passed since the initial outbreak.

One hundred and fifty three long days of fear and mourning.

Two hundred twenty thousand three hundred twenty minutes of desperate attempts to combat this sickness.

It took a few weeks before Twilight had identified the reason they had so much trouble containing the disease. It was something so universal, so basic…something no one could live without.

Water. This damned plague spread through fresh water. True, a bite from an infected creature would transfer it, but its main method of transmission was something every living thing required. It wasn’t even like the princess had meant to discover this. No, she had gone to refill the coolant tanks for her lab when she noticed it.

Some poor filly, lost in the pain of the sickness, had dragged her broken body to the banks of the river. This puzzled Twilight. By this point, it was clear that the little pony was in the final stages of Rabid Pneumonia. She would have been suffering from hydrophobia, surely. And yet here she was, gagging on the black bile flooding her lungs. After many long moments, the pathetic creature hurls herself into the stream, startling Twilight.

Of course she was aware of how often they had to fish bodies out of the reservoir. She’d just presumed that it was due to the rainy season washing them downhill…she had a new panel to run.

After that, they tasked the pegasi and dragons with getting the word out. All water had to be boiled and filtered before drinking. It helped, but not nearly enough.

Month two is when they had to accept that magic wouldn’t fix this. The four princesses had called upon Discord to work towards a spell to address this. Between the five of them, there was nothing they couldn’t do…or so they thought.

Tar Lung could bounce back from anything they cast.

Discord was particularly stunned by this. He certainly wasn’t used to putting in effort to get what he wanted. By the time it was clear that they would have to resort to modern medicine, the draconequus seemed to fall into a depressive episode. He’d blipped away, presumably to the fortified home he had built for Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. The latter had moved in after she’d lost her husband and their daughter…

Shortly after that, Cadence had heard of the illness reaching the Crystal Kingdom. She rushed home, only to report that she would be unable to leave her people. A week later, Twilight received the news that her brother had contracted it.

She scowled, and shook her head. If her magic didn’t help, that was fine. Twilight never let herself lose sight of the practical side of her studies. She was particularly skilled in chemistry. So she called upon anyone experienced in medicine. Earth ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns, Kirin, Zebras, if you knew your way around a lab, you were invited.

Zecora had been a big help to their cause. She had convinced a few buffalo to join her, one of which was Little Strongheart’s daughter. The zebra made it clear that Twilight was to show the utmost respect to all who answered her summons. If the princess didn’t understand traditional methods, that didn’t mean they had no merit.

The implied accusation stung, but Twilight understood why Zecora made it. She’d definitely had moments of dismissing science she considered primitive.

As it would turn out, some of the biggest advances the team made began with the group helmed by the zebra. Their deep knowledge of the local ecosystem had resulted in significant breakthroughs. They hit a snag when the disease mutated again. The first documented jump was to the local population of timber wolves. They hadn’t anticipated it would be able to spread to plants…

Ink Rot meant a whole different threat.

Applejack wasted no time in assembling a crew to figure out why their crops had begun to die. Clearly it was related to the pandemic, but how? Tar Lung started as a respiratory disease, it shouldn’t impact this.

And yet, here they were.

Thankfully Ink Rot didn’t seem to be able to transmit to animals. At least, not like the virus could. It definitely could make you sick if you consumed too much contaminated matter. But it just resulted in something akin to food poisoning. The biggest danger was how it weakened the immune system.

Anyone recovering from Ink Toxicity was significantly more likely to contract Tar Lung. Even if they took every possible precaution. The sickness was getting stronger every passing moment.

Applejack was the one that suggested rain was no longer safe. After the outbreak, Cloudsdale had allowed the weather to self-regulate. They would do their best to prevent natural disasters, but their numbers had been falling to the virus at a significant rate.

As the storms rolled through, cases would skyrocket. Out of frustration, Applejack lamented that the petrichor smelled sour. Of course. Of course it was the rain. They couldn’t possibly boil every lake in the world.

The timber wolves had started to reach the final stages, so they would likely be drowning themselves like the previous carriers. Zecora had guessed that Ink Rot stemmed from their decaying branches.

Twilight issues a command to have Cloudsdale evacuated. She finds some comfort in the knowledge that Dash wasn’t around to see her home in this state…wherever she was. The princess tried not to dwell on her fallen friends. They both would just tell her to keep working on the cure.

A few days after the fall of the pegasi kingdom, Zecora caught it. The moment the acidic bile began to seep from her snout, she walked into a holding cell. She reassured Twilight from her glass cage that everything would make sense soon. The alicorn had everything she needed to save the world.

It was a rough few weeks, watching one of her most valuable teammates collapse under the strain of the sickness. Watching as it reached her brain, being forced to hear the zebra rip at her burning chest. The wet choking echoing off the walls…Twilight cried herself to sleep regularly.

She was failing her community. She was running out of time.

Which brings us to now. 

Five months.

One hundred and fifty three days.

Two hundred twenty thousand three hundred twenty minutes.

A brilliant flash blinds the princess. She scrubs at her eyes, squinting against the light. She’s surprised at who stands before her. The lord of chaos himself. Discord had returned. He looks exhausted. His thin mane had grown out, forming mats that swung heavily as he offered a half-hearted bow. His mismatched eyes were haunted…something was wrong.

“Discord?” Twilight asks softly, not wanting to startle him. The lab had too many delicate items to risk him bolting on her. “...What happened?”

It was clear from his expression that he anticipated the question. The draconequus knew she was a clever one. She saw right through him. As per usual. His voice is rough, as though he’d been screaming for hours.

“Observant as always, princess .” He spits out her title like the word is rotten on his tongue. “I take it you’re not getting anywhere?”

The jab digs into her spirit like an arrow. Twilight’s wings lift subtly, making her appear bigger. “We’ve made significant progress towards a cure. We’ll have our vaccine by the end of the year.” She snorts, flicking her tail. “Not that you care.”

The air shifts. Discord’s form distorts, chaos magic leaking out. The princess catches a glimpse of his true appearance. A twisting fractal, branching out into impossible angles and planes. He snarls, teeth rotating and multiplying endlessly. After a very tense moment, he reels his power in. The window into his reality closes.

The venom in his voice remains. “I resent that accusation.”

Twilight forces herself to stand strong. She was the only one that could fight him if needed. “State your business.” She snaps. “But I’m only going to warn you once. If you do anything to jeopardize our work, I will not hesitate to stop you. Keep that in mind.”

“Oh I’m so frightened, I just might shake myself apart.”

“ Discord .” She takes a step towards him.

“Ugh, you’re still no fun.” He rolls his eyes. Literally. Before Twilight can respond, Discord’s tone becomes serious again. “I’m here to help you.”

“You know none of our magic works against it.” The princess reminds him.

“ Yes . I am distinctly aware of how useless I appear to you.” He folds his arms, his tail flicking with irritation. “This whole thing has gone too far. You need someone that can get you anything in a matter of seconds. I am your obedient servant .”

He punctuates this with another, more dramatic bow.

Something’s happened, Twilight realizes. “Not that I’m going to turn you down but…why are you offering this now? You could have shown up at any moment, you know.”

“They caught it.” Discord states bluntly.

Twilight doesn’t need clarification on who ‘they’ are.

“I couldn’t protect them…I poured everything I had into keeping my-” He pauses, glancing away. “Keeping them safe from this. You know me, I could care less if this world implodes…or at least I did. I’m a selfish creature, it’s in my nature. I’m sure you understand.”

The princess nods, motioning for him to continue.

“...I can’t let them die, Twilight. I might not be able to snap this disease out of existence, but if I can do even the smallest thing to help expedite your work?” Discord meets her eyes, and she can see a hint of his old resolve. “I’ll make it happen. Just say the word…and please, we may be desperate, but let’s not forget our manners, hm?”

A harsh laugh bubbles up from Twilight’s chest. She can’t believe this is what it took to snap Discord from his isolation…actually, yes she can. This was perfectly in character for him.

“Alright. We can discuss details later, right now I need-” She was interrupted by a panicked Spike bursting into the room.

“Hey! Twilight, I’ve got a message from the Castle!” The dragon holds it out, allowing his friend to grab it with her magic.

She unfurls it, expecting a long update. What she does find, however, are three sentences that chill her to the bone.

‘The disease has breached the barrier. The Sisters are no longer with us. Please hurry…”

[thelordofgifs]

Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: Semifinal

Nerdanel vs Tar-Ancalimë

Nerdanel:

Nerdanel, called The Wise, was the wife of Fëanor, and known as a great sculptor. She refused to follow her family to Middle-earth in the revolt of the Noldor.

Best known as the woman who looked at the hot mess that is Fëanor, went “is anyone going to marry that?” and did not wait for an answer, Nerdanel is also so much more than just the beloved wife of Fëanor. Most notably, she is a sculptor (apparently a male-dominated field in Noldorin society) - her statues are so life-like that the friends of the depicted would go up and talk to them! She is also wise enough to land the epithet Istarnië, which means Wise One, and she is the only person Fëanor ever listened to, which borders miracle territory. Although when she married the pretty young crown prince of the Noldor, people said she was not good-looking enough for him, Fëanor begged to differ, as they had seven kids together, which is the largest amount of kids any Elven couple ever had. There must have been a lot of passion there (or maybe they just really wanted a daughter?). Although Nerdanel always seemed to have wise counsel for her husband, apparently she did not put up with his, as she was close friends with Indis, his stepmother he did not like. Unfortunately, their marital bliss did not last; when Fëanor pulled a sword on his half-brother Fingolfin (Indis's son) and was exiled, she did not come with him and instead stayed with Indis. This is often seen as her inventing divorce, although a more boring reading could simply suggest she disagreed and did not fancy accompanying him (LaCE does say Elven couples could keep separate households for extended periods of time). She also did not think about coming to Beleriand with him after he swore his terrible oath, although she did beg for him to leave her at least one of her kinslaying spawn sweet adorable baby boys (preferably the one she very ominously tried her hardest to name The Fated as a baby). I suppose the resulting, kind of permanent, separation, could definitely count as divorce.

she is a sculptor and an artisan so skilled that Feanor’s love for her competed with his own love of craft and creation. She raised seven sons and pleaded for their fates with Feanor because of how much she loved them and even though she loved him too, she stuck to her own beliefs and refused to leave Valinor….she’s so girlboss and she said you can go be a tragic archetype but our children don’t deserve that and also I will stay right here. We love a woman who refuses to give up her joys and her home even for a man she loves and ESPECIALLY since it was Feanor….the strength of her will is insane. I love her.

Tar-Ancalimë:

The first Ruling Queen of Númenor.

Ancalime the First Ruling Queen Of Numenor Herself!!! Let me tell you she is wonderful! She is savage! 'she did not refuse the Heirship, and determined that when her day came she would be a powerful Ruling Queen' a girlboss! I know people love making characters gay (it's me, i'm people) and Ancalime is a great case for lesbian/ace/aro headcanons (about marriage) ''We could', said Ancalime, 'if I had any mind to such a state. I could lay down my loyalty and be free. But if I were to do so, I should be free to wed whom I will; and that would be Uner (which is ''Noman''), whom I prefer above all others.'' She has gay vibes, take her and love her! Also she eventually gets married (either out of spite or to please the government) and her husband is just so rude to her so she kicks him out of his house because she's the Queen.

Propaganda for my girl Ancalimë, she must succeed. Technically Ancalimë is more obscure than most of the other characters here and she is such a wonderful character. This fandom says they like girlbosses, she is so girlboss, she's the First Ruling Queen. Plus she is politically savy - since she is called Tar-Ancalime that's probably not her original name, which means she could have named herself after the elven tree and not the other way around - that's one heck of a statement and more tree symbolism for her, tree lovers vote for her she is one of you.

Semifinals masterpost

[cilil]

🦄 - Characters' physical appearance.

and

🕊️ - Platonic relationships (friends, enemies, etc).

for Mairon and

🐅 - Characterization: character habits, personality, etc.

for Ar-Pharazôn

🖤🖤🖤

🦄 - Mairon

My Mairon is very femme, but due to being a smith he is a lot stronger physically than people give him credit for. His strength is just hidden by fancy robes, which oftentimes is a deliberate strategy to make himself appear more soft, frail and helpless. Many are shocked to discover that 1) there are indeed strong muscles underneath those silks and 2) he is fully capable of lifting Melkor in full armor.

🕊️ - Mairon

Aside from verses in which I explore the Mairon x Arien x Eönwë OT3, my Mairon has pretty much always disliked Eönwë. Post War of Wrath this evolves into vicious hatred (for obvious reasons). Eönwë is to this day completely oblivious to it and, when made aware of it, doesn't understand why things are that ugly on Mairon's part.

The truth is that Mairon was always annoyed by his hero persona and jealous of him being Manwë's special little guy because he didn't get to be Aulë's special little guy.

🐅- Ar-Pharazôn

Gonna have to put this under a cut. TW for references to homophobia and non-con.

Everything about AP screams insecurities as is, and one of which is that he's always been attracted to men, even before finding himself in possession of an ungodly beautiful Maiarin prisoner.

Idk how I wanna hc the human societies and kingdoms in Middle-earth in terms of regarding gender and sexuality, but regardless of how Númenor thinks, AP always felt the need to prove that he's The Man and this is also part of the reason why he acts up as king and was so ruthless with Tar-Míriel. With her, it was definitely always about power and control, not even desire (or let alone love); and it's similar with Mairon. He would always act like he's above being charmed by him and publicly humiliate him, making a show out of pushing him around and calling him nasty things, but in private it would soon become obvious just how... interested he is.

And yes, he probably was dumb, greedy and arrogant enough to believe that he could beat Manwë in a fight (obligatory reminder that the bird man can oneshot the entire Balrog crew without much effort...)

[aroacegundamalex]

Meant to ask this awhile back:

I'd made a comment on your post about how the GUND format could work in a SRW game, and you had responded with something about going 'full alpha series'.

So, first, I'm pretty sure that's a compliment, so thank you, but second, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with alpha series. Is it an SRW spin-off?

In any event, I will say I've definitely enjoyed it whenever SRW kitbashes a connection between two series (like High Priest Zagato [Magic Knight Rayearth] referring to Koji Kabuto's Mazinger as a 'Magine' and wishing he could have laid his hands on such power, for example), and makes for a fun intellectual exercise for fan rosters.

Interestingly though, I've noticed it seems easier to kitbash the average Gundam show with the average non-Gundam mecha, than it is two Gundam shows together.

The Witch from Mercury + Shin Getter Robo vs. Neo Getter Robo? Not a problem! In fact, they're complimentary: The Dinosaur Empire is mad at humanity for all the environmental destruction, and tragically don't realize they should ally with the Earthians against the Spacians, attacking indiscriminately instead. Getter energy has been tarred with the same brush as GUND tech, and Hayato, as a former witch, has had his work at NISAR *heavily* scrutinized by Cathedra, until they were satisfied that plasma energy really *was* nothing like Getter.

The Witch from Mercury + Mobile Fighter G? Two of the most similar Gundams, and yet it must be addressed how the quadannual Gundam Fight is even allowed, and as well as the clash between the Neo colonies and G-Witch's more traditional fronts. These aren't irreconcilable differences (Those aren't Gundams! Those are 'G Fighters'...plus the tournament is really profitable... Meanwhile, the Neo colonies are part-museum/part-theme park [a la the Texas colony], with choice bits of culture 'liberated' from Earth), but it still requires a bit more thought and sanding the rough edges to fit together neatly.

Anyway, just wanted to share, thank you for reading : )

This was wonderful! I very much agree that it’s easier to mix any given Gundam with any given non-Gundam, especially super robots, given how little their takes on machines overlap. One can easily say that real robots make up the bulk of the military and consumer-oriented machines, with any given super being a one-of-a-kind super weapon not mass produced because of cost and complexity.

I love the idea of mixing G-Witch and Getter, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of just how well Shin Getter Robo vs. Neo Getter Robo would work!

My comment about going full Alpha series was indeed a compliment— Super Robot Wars Alpha is one of the most highly-regarded Super Robot Wars series, held in high regard specifically for its worldbuilding and how well it ties every series together into a single timeline! The only translated game as of now is Alpha Gaiden for the PS1, which is phenomenal. The original Alpha is 60% of the way done courtesy of Aeon Genesis, with only the real robot route left to translate.

[blubrown9637]

NEXT GEN DINOBOTS!

I’ve finally got around to making Dinobots sparkling Ocs, and after several redesigns I’m really happy with these!

They do exist in my lost light au btw! When Tailgate and Cyclonus experimented with making Gale without an hotspot. So Grimlock Asked(more like demand) Brainstorm to somehow find a way to make more dinobots without a hotspot as well as without having a partner.

So Brainstorm after watching some of swerve’s earth movies got the bright idea to create an Dinobot from an egg somehow, with the help of Grimlocks dna of course. AND IT WORKED! (Sorta) Bam was created then after few hundred years later so was Spittake and so forth.

Bam The Brontosaurus : Bam is the eldest at 400+ years old! (In my au Sparklings age like normal humans then after age 18 their body starts aging like a normal cybertonian) she is very kind and patient with her siblings and can come across very motherly. She often helps Grimlock “tame” the kids when things go south.

Though Bam is a Dinobot she doesn’t talk in 3rd person like Grimlock most of the time. This is probably due to the fact that she grew up around other cybertonians like her good friend Gale. She is also very smart as well, some tease she should be Queen of the Dinos some day!

Spittake The Dilophosaurus: He is the second oldest at age 12, and he honestly lives up to his name. He’s definitely a kind of shit disturber and hates when things are to “peaceful” in the Habsuite. Most of the chaotic things happening on the ship are usually caused by him, especially when he creates his artwork on the walls of the ship.

Spittake is able to use the colorful tar that constantly comes from his body and use it to create art! Though pretty on the surface, if it leaks into your optics or any kind of pores it can create very strong hallucinations. Victims of this have been Magnus, Grimlock, trailcutter and Prowl. All on accident of course!

Spittake may seem like a troublesome mech king but he’s actually a sweetheart who would do anything for his friends and family! He’s mostly seen make arts and crafts with Gala and Ten.

Hit The Raptor: she is the second youngest at 4 years old, The only way I can describe Hit perfectly is that she’s kind of a mix between Amy rose from sonic and Angelica from rugrats if that makes any sense? She definitely bratty and usually gets what she wants most of the time. She’s also a huge daddy’s girl, so whenever Spittake or some bots mean to her she’ll always run to Grimlock.

Hits a girly girl despite her tomboyish behavior sometimes. Her favorite color is pink and she always wants to play dress up with someone. Also Gala is her best friend so don’t be mean to her either unless you wanna see her true wrath.

Crash The Spinosaurus: crash is the youngest at 3 years old, there is much to say about him yet but that he feels more comfortable in his alt form instead. All of the next Gen dinobots stayed in their alt forms as Sparklings but Crash is taking a bit more time than usual.

He’s a very energetic and happy sparkling, even though he can’t say full words. He has a bad habit with biting things and bots occasionally, but it’s just his form of teething. Also he likes Gala…a lot! ;)