#this is definetly a vent

[jamisafan]

(A question that turned into a rant because I read an aroace Leo fic :D)

I just need clarification on something real quick.

When someone asks you out and you supposedly like them, your supposedly not supposed to feel super duper anxious to the point you feel on the verge of a panic attack and the deep feeling that you just really really don't want to feel like that anymore (the anxiousness) and in connection, don't want to go out with them.

I'm correct in this? Yes?

And when you find out someone had a crush on you, you supposedly aren't supposed to suddenly feel super anxious about it.

And your supposedly not supposed to fear people or close friends getting crushes on you or feel anxious when you start thinking they do?

Or, what about if someone flirts with you, and you flirt back. And you think, "Hey, this isn't so bad!" But then when it starts to become more your like.... nooooooooooo. Or maybe I do like people, and I'm in denile?

I've been friends with guys and some of my friends will start constantly saying "you like hiiiiimmm. He's you boyfrieeennnddddd." And suddenly I'm on the verge of tears and feeling all hot in the face and stressed and being like.... "do I like him?" When In reality, I probably don't..... I think???? AHWVEISVWEEK

Okay, I've been questioning being aroace for a while but I just read an aroace Leo fic and now I'm like...... that sounds about right (i also read loveless by alice oseman a bit ago and was like..... this main chracter me???) But I'm also not really..... against that stuff??? I'm more of a "if it happens it happens" type of person.

For example, if I someday meet a person that I just have a super crazy and deep connection with them, I won't really want them out of my life? I'd want to like..... hang out? I don't know if I can think of that romantically, if I'm being honest.

Idk. Maybe I'm in denile or something. Or I really just could care less about lables. I just don't know if I even care that much? If that makes sense.

I have my favorite fictional characters and my mom. That's all I really need. I love my mom, and I love my fictional characters! Like all the Leos, Cole from Ninjago, and Hunter from TOH!

And sure! All my siblings have gotten partners before, and I sometimes feel awkward during Christmas, BUT THATS FINE!!!!! And yeah, I feel the need to look away when people at school are being all flirty and touchy when they are dating, but hey! I can give them privacy and just quickly stroll on past them!

[taradactylus]

Been off from tumblr a bit but I just wanna share my general thoughts about TSAMS, especially today's episode...

‼️Quick warning for suicide and self harm mention‼️

I feel betrayed. I legit cried. Out of embarassment, betrayal, and pure but well-reserved anger.

I'm not going to be quiet about how to show handled Sun's problem. Not one fucking media type ever dares to normally bring up suicidal problems, the people who suffer from this, the amount of kids and adults who DIE from such thoughts. This isn't about the overly edgy teenagers who want to normalize cutting yourself is okey and cool. This is about the people who suffered for months and years with such conditions while the world made fun of them or ignored their calls for help. Ignored the signs.

USA doesn't have much of a public transport where the show is going on. But here we do. And a lot of trains are late every day. Late for hours because of "mechanical issues". 8 out of 10 times the mechanical issue is a local kid who jumped front of the train. A teenager fed up with life. An adult who lost their way. An ederly too impatient for death.

I have waited months. Months. To see how Sun deals with it. A character I fell in love with not in a romantic sense, a character who shared way too many of my own problems from hallucinations from abuse till betrayal. A character who was pushed and pulled their entire life around people who slapped you then said they love you. I wanted to see how he heals out from it.

The signs were there. Everywhere. Sun said it out loud once that he at least fantasized about death. EVEN OLD MOON KNEW ABOUT THIS! He literally told New Moon Sun would be capable of doing it.

So why... why through Miku, the character used as the "weird fandom girl" symbol do they bring up such a delicate topic? A topic that is not delicate because you have to tip toe around the people who live with self destructive thoughts day and night, but delicate because it matters to be properly heard out AND NO ONE LISTENS!

Not one fucking media listens. A lot of us out there rely on fandoms. Stories we can escape to because the world never listens. And call me a self-projector all you want dear creators or whoever writes the story, but you either just pulled the cheapest and most dumbest way to close off a story line with solving Sun's problems off-screen, or you just legit don't give a fuck about people who "self-projected".

Honestly, what if I did? What if in a sense, I saw myself in Sun? A Sunshine of a character ruined and changed by the things that happened to him. Am I not allowed to relate to him? Am I an annoying "fan-girl" for caring about how he heals because I myself have no idea how to do it either? Or am I like Miku for hoping someone calls out on his behaviour because that's something I've wanted my entire life and never got?

And here I am, still somehow hoping Sun is lying. That he is in denial. That there is more to what was shown... but honestly? How long should I wait and hope while the character I started to like is now becoming a bit too toxic?

And with all due respect, I'm taking this episode personally. The creators watch the fandom. Probably have their secret accounts to see what the people theorize. And if Sun is not lying, and suicide is an annoying topic and we are self-projecting too much onto Sun, with all due respect, dear creators... grow the fuck up and educate yourself.

I don't need the world to pity my ass for having self-harming habits, wishing to die and even attempted suicide before (I'm getting my ass to therapy in the meantime so do not worry about me), but all I want from content creators to fucking educate themselfes before bringing up such topics. TO CARE A BIT MAYBE?!

I have survived my worst times, but not everyone does (it's not about who is weaker or stronger, only utter guilt held me back, without that I'd be long gone), andI want for those who has no help feel like they're heard and seen. Cause literally that's all itt takes sometimes to maybe save someone's life.

So yeah. I'm utterly disappointed in this episode. Not because I want the world to know that I'm suicidal and everyone should tip toe around me and "omg pls give me attention" ect ect ect...

Im disappointed because I had hopes for TSAMS to maybe, maybe be an example and bring this topic up normally for a change. But well... here goes my hope for an educational approach of suicide and self harm in a popular show.

[wingedarchivist]

I am angelic

I crave to watch people, to help others, but to be unperceptible, just to aquire and amass knowledge and use it for others. I was meant to be to be mysterious and unfamiliar, unknown but comforting. I have a strong sense of justice, but my moral code is not shared by many humans. I want to be kind, but my kindness is alien to them. I should not be percieved, for my unnatural self soon is exposed any time it happens

I am Lawful Neutral because I am equal selfish and selfless, my code is unyielding. Everything has to be according to the divine plan.

I am robotic

I am governed by programs, algorythms. For daily life, for conversations, for existing. I am unnatural and weird. I am literal and logical. I don't comprehend tone, only plain words. I need clear instructions in order, or else my whole program breaks down. I am Lawful Neutral because I care not for selfishness or selflessness, just for everything to be how it is supposed to be, for everything to be according to algorythms.

They are intertwined at its core, as in me being a robot is deeply engrained in being an angel. Both are slaves to something greater than them, both cannot function 'properly' in human society.

They complement each other, I would not be the same angel without being a robot and I would not be the same robot without being an angel

[disposal-blueeee]

doodlesssss

scriabin belongs to zarla-s

edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez

[glitter-alienz]

Dudez I can't do this anymore why is my health so ass?? I can't keep anything down

[pencil-merchant]

I need the 5 day workweek to get abolished. N o w.

[heyitslapis]

Walked out of work today bc long story short a guest decided that she was gonna lecture me/use me & my "abhorrent, disrespectful attitude" as an example of a lesson for one of her student & I decided that standing there & being belittled wasn't worth it

[gorefetishizer]

I FINISHED THE 6 SELF PORTRAITS WITHOUT LOOSING ANY SLEEP AND THEY LOOK ACTUALLY GOOD!!!! I AM NOT FALLING BEHIND AT ALL IN MOST OF MY CLASSES IM EVEN MORE ADVANCED THAN MY PEERS!!!!!! BOW DOWN TO ME EVERYONE SUCK MY DICK IM ACTUALLY A FUCKING GENIOUS!!!!!!

[loudrantsensue]

Ummm, am I one of the few ppl who is not surprised by Zelda and Link's implied "romantic" relationship? The whole plot is basically the prince/hero rescuing the princess of fairytales so of course there's gonna be some romantic connotations, or at least state the relationship as "very close".

Im not even a zelink shipper, to be fair I dont ship the little gremling with anyone but Im pretty sure the creators made it ambiguous so the gamer, who is kinda expected to project into Link as this guy is lowkey a blank-slate personality wise, can make their final assumptions.

[blue-sleeps-in]

ok and where is my pre-exam burst of stress that makes me get off my butt and study. where is it. it used to happen multiple days before the exams when i was in school and its steadily gotten less and less and last time it was only a few hours and this time. i dont feel it at all. there was an exam yesterday but i didn't feel anything at all. in the end i didn't even go. and didn't feel bad about it. i WANT to feel bad. its ok if i feel like shit and cry a few times as long as i get it done i'd have months of free time to recover but. im not feeling anything. i'm not doing anything. is this it is "getting it done last minute" not a thing i can do anymore. is it over for me

[unreadpoppy]

god help me when the 12th of June comes by.....

[kailixvk]

I got a really bad ear infection and a really bad mouth infection both seemingly overnight do I get a prize for going in to take the sat anyway despite it my fever

[lemon-koii]

•|Sad TWST headcanons

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒖𝒍

𝑅𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠

If his mother calls him before or during eating a strawberry tart, he'd have a hard time finishing his tart after their conversation even if it has no relate to it. He would clutch his hands and just stare at his strawberry tart for a few minutes and eat it slowly. Still remembering the first day he tasted a tart, but not a good way

𝑇𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟

Doesn't like it when people yell at him when mad as it reminds him when Riddles' mom yelled at him and his family for 3 hours straight. Although, he wouldn't react much if you yelled at him, but he will definetly hold a grudge

𝐷𝑒𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝑆𝑝𝑎𝑑𝑒

After Riddles' overblot, he'd not only get nightmares about it, he'd also get nightmares of Cater getting impaled with a spear from Riddle. In some dreams, Cater died, right infront of him and his roommates would have to wake him up. He pleaded them to not tell Cater but one of them slipped(It wasn't Ace. I refuse to believe he's THAT much of a jerk and clumsy)

𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑

Whenever his sister would call him, he'd just stare at it ringing. He doesn't want to talk to them but he also don't have the heart to reject it. Sadly, he can only do this when he's alone since people will point. But when he gets close to the prefect, he'd ignore the ringing and tell you to do the same. Just don't pester him and point at it more than 3 times

Comforts Deuce in a non-obvious way whenever his roommates accidentaly told him that Deuce had nightmares about his impalement

𝑅𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑒 𝐵𝑢𝑐𝑐ℎ𝑖

Tons of bite and scratch scars from his childhood due to fighting over food with another group of hyenas. As a male hyena, he's pretty tall in their book so he's the one to mostly go out to hunt and fight for food

Sometimes has to give up his food to female hyenas

𝐾𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑚 𝐴𝑙-𝐴𝑠𝑖𝑚

On the outside it looks like he trusts his siblings a lot but deep down he doesn't. He loves and trusts his baby siblings but once they reach the age of learning about the hierarchy, he'll start to doubt them but won't show it. So when they do end up trying to kill him, he'll be heartbroken but not surprised

𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙 𝑉𝑖𝑝𝑒𝑟

He was 14 years old when he first killed someone to protect Kalim. One of the most traumatic event in his life but as he got older, it bothered him less and less. When he looks back at his first kill, he'll cringe. Thinking, "God why did I cry and puke that time? I should've expected it"

𝑂𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑜 𝑆ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑

Somehow got a hold of a file full of old pictures and videos of H!Ortho and when he has nothing to do, he'd watch it privately. Observing how past Ortho acted and will try to recreate does actions.(It gives Idia tons of flashbacks)

𝐿𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑎 𝑉𝑎𝑛𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝑒

Back when Silver wad a kid, he'd give Lilia every egg he found during Easter. But the moment Lilias' eyes spotted a black egg with bright green designs on it, he'd go quite and just stare at it. Remembering Meleanor and egg Malleus

𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔

After overblots, they really want to vent to their parents but they can't. Crowley pressured them to not tell anyone or their grades and the schools reputation will be at risk

[neon-danger]

me, writing: no no I can’t use that phrase I used it in a oneshot three years ago and I don’t want the readers to think my fics are boring and repetitive

readers: oh sick, porn!

[the-star-hunter]

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