#this is an aromantic post if it isnt obvious

[ap-sadistics]

happy pride month! dont forget to take the romance out of your romance!

[sadisthetic]

the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest

allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*

[lumohyperfixationhell]

Happy 18th anniversary for hetalia?!?!? I think??? Cause I saw some posts about it being an anniversary so ummm ok

My relationship with this show is insanely funny cause it was like . My first anime. Ever. I didnt really give that stuff a chance until I found hetalia... somehow.... it was through a warrior cats video btw isnt that crazy

Now, this was back in 2018... AND I had pinterest. So I saw a lot of... yaoi... I guess... and thats when I picked up stupid terms like husbando (I'd rather die than use that unironically)

But not only that, I think hetalia was also the reason why I realized "oh shit I might be asexual" (aromantic realization came much later, but there were OBVIOUS signs of it back in 2018 cause I only said that I was an america simp so I can fit in or smth)

And I cant talk about my relationship with hetalia without mentioning alfred cause boy... BOY... I HAVE A HISTORY WITH THIS CHARACTER.

From the beginning I think I knew I wasnt "simping" for him, it was just easier to write it off that way (I only discovered what kinning was WAYYY later)

Anddd idkk.... I dont imagine anything personal or comforting with him, hes just... I just think he had a very important influence in my life without me even knowing (the way I look and act more like him by the years is so funny to me)

Uguhuhh Its hard to explain but um yeag sorry for rambling happy hetalia day or smth

[infizero-draws]

girl what do you feel about kris' and noelle's relationship in snowgrave i want to know

OK OK. first of all thank you for specifying "in snowgrave" because if you just said their relationship in general i would literally never stop talking.

second tho, im really bad at putting how i feel about character dynamics into words because often there's just soooooo much to be said and different ways of looking at it and i get overwhelmed if i try to make some all-encompassing analysis. so let it be known that whatever i say here is not the full picture and there's so much more i could say.

putting this under the cut because i already know im gonna talk for way too long:

that being said oughghghhgh. where to fucking begin. i'd say the most fascinating (and disturbing) thing about their relationship in snowgrave is the weird romantic undertones. the fact that you have to pressure noelle into the idea of riding the ferris wheel with KRIS instead of with susie, her actual crush.

one of the most overt symbols of this weirdness is definitely the thorn ring. i know it isnt the only ring you give to noelle to equip, but this is the one that's mandatory for the snowgrave route. in order to do the route, you have to make KRIS give NOELLE a RING. a ring that literally HURTS HER TO WEAR. if that isnt a metaphor for a forced relationship i dont know what is

however perhaps the most damning and obvious one is of course this option:

i would say something about this myself but @/sorrybutiforgothowtomakecontent's tags on another one of my posts really summed it up:

im also aromantic so this really resonated with me. but yeah just going back to the first point they make. you literally HAVE to say "we're something else" in order to do the snowgrave route, which seems to make it pretty clear that this kinda subtext was intended. snowgrave can only exist with kris and noelle being "something else" because that's literally what snowgrave IS.

my favorite way to view snowgrave is through the lens of an arranged/forced marriage. again, the ring. it just feels so gross, especially because it's not just a regular marriage but an abusive marriage. snowgrave is abuser simulator (2021). im sure i dont need to explain that part

but the thing is, SNOWGRAVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT NOELLE and that's what makes it SO BAD. not only is noelle being forced to go through all of this, but KRIS is being forced to be the one who does it to her! kris clearly is EXTREMELY upset about snowgrave judging from the constant opportunities to choose more "normal" dialogue and abort the route, and from afterwards when they meet back up with ralsei and susie:

kris, under no circumstances, wants to do ANY of this. but they literally do not have a choice. snowgrave isnt kris manipulating noelle, it is US forcing kris into manipulating noelle. no one is winning here. they're both traumatized, and kris physically cannot even talk to their friends about it or show the true extent of their hurt. it SUCKSSSSS

and when you consider the idea that kris and noelle's friendship may have become strained specifically due to dess' disappearance, and kris possibly having something to do with that with the bunker and whatnot..... well now you're just forcing kris to hurt their friend AGAIN, when in the normal route this could've been their chance to finally reconnect. ahghrhgrhghh

going back to the marriage stuff, it's just so uncomfortable to see these two forced together like this. noelle is in love with susie. we dont know kris well enough to know if they have a crush on anyone (or if they get those kinds of feelings at all), but that doesn't matter. the fact is these two are likely not romantically interested in each other at all, and they are being forced together BY THE PLAYER. and it's horrific. (and even if one or both of them felt that way, this is still entirely wrong. they do not get a choice here)

@/hellspawnmotel's tags on this comic of hers will always haunt me, bcuz like. yeah. this is it:

there's also the fact that kris is naturally kind of a goofball; they're a prankster, especially it seems when it comes to noelle, as can be seen with the stepping off the button thing or the many, many examples from their shared childhood brought up by noelle.

but in the snowgrave route, kris drops this entirely. all of the alternate dialogue options to abort the route, which are very likely FROM kris, are very genuine and apologetic. kris is scared they're going to lose their friendship with noelle completely because of what you're making them do, and it's like they panic and all of their usual goofiness and sass is just dropped for genuine emotion. it's really sad to see honestly, esp in a full snowgrave route where you know that their efforts will be in vain.

OH OH ALSO. can't believe i haven't mentioned this yet. the fact that NOELLE KNOWS SOMETHING IS GOING ON WITH KRIS. THAT'S one of the things that really makes me insane.

noelle goes through ALL THAT, seemingly AT THE HANDS OF HER FRIEND....... and yet. she knows that something is wrong. she KNOWS kris, and she knows that they don't act like this. you'd think she would instantly cast kris off, it would be the right thing to do, but she doesn't. because she knows that something is off.

i cannot stress enough the fact that noelle is the ONLY one who seems to have noticed just how strange kris has been acting. sure other characters comment on kris seeming off or doing something they usually wouldn't do, but it is NOELLE and NOELLE ALONE who takes such notice of it and decides to actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

"i have to figure it out" is a mission statement, it implies that noelle (at least in the snowgrave route), is going to actively try to figure out what's going on with kris, WHICH IS CRAZYY and i feel like not enough people are talking about. not even kris's own mother has fully realized something's wrong. like she says, noelle seems to be the only one who's noticed just how off kris has been acting, and the only one who might try to understand and help them. genuinely makes me insane thinking of where that might go in this route oaugurhghh

im gonna stop here because im exhausting myself but. in conclusion I LOVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS GONE WRONG!!!!!!!!! FAVORITE TROPE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways read this comic (all 3 parts) and you'll get it

oh also "kris, why are you wearing my watch?" still makes me go fucking insane

[kiwinatorwaffles]

my friends keep asking me why i always get the saltiest hate anons and tags and. I DONT KNOW? my takes are usually lukewarm to cold and sometimes there isn’t even a take at all like where is all of this coming from

me: we are too complicit in discord's changes and the only way we can change anything is if we actually push back hater anon: wow youre so whiny and immature. companies are always doing what they must to help the customers hater in tags: why are you being PARASOCIAL discord is not your FRIEND

me: [uses "shiny duo" as an example for the overabundance of duo names making it easy to confuse who it pertains to] tags: ummmm shiny is obvious? gem and pearl? why are you making it about a man? sexism is alive and well. UGH! me: hey man isnt it a little misogynistic to say people should immediately assume that shiny pertains to women hater anon: you are utterly incapable of detecting a joke

me: aromantic people are constantly tossed aside with the insistence of romance with this popular phrase fandom uses hater in tags: actually youre wrong because people use this phrase to not queerbait and also when people look like theyre going to fall in love they should fall in love because if they dont its queerbaiting

me: i have adhd. therefore i will post about adhd. hater anon: why do you post about adhd. stop

LIKE WHAT CAN I EVEN DO TO STOP IT. maybe baldsuma is better

[international-repeater-station]

dreamychaika.tumblr.com ← art sideblog

a sleepy seagull dwells here. it welcomes you dearly!

username change! sleepychaika → international-repeater-station

i regularly tag spoilers for some things: #omori spoilers, #hnk spoilers, #upd8 spoilers (for homestuck^2). if something else is new, i.e. an episode of a series that has just aired or a game that has just come out, i also try to tag that.

a little bit more about me:

- i'm russian and russian is my first language. sometimes i post things in it, but only sometimes. don't be alarmed if i write something in russian in tags when reblogging your post, it's never a rude thing.

- chaika (чайка) means seagull in russian! not my real name, just my main (and favorite) nickname.

- i am agender, aromantic, and acespec, which has kind of automatically turned me into a relationship anarchist. waves hand. <3

- i log on rarely these days, due to me being SUPER EMPLOYED. still lurking here though!

- i tend to ramble about my shit in the tags of reblogs pretty often, oftentimes very tangentially related to the post at hand. naming names of ocs where it isnt obvious those are ocs, sharing personal tidbits, music lyrics, etc. sorry if im confusing any OPs with that! thats how i roll on this bog.

besides that, this bog is a lot of things. there's a variety of fandoms, #art, #photography, even a #birds and #cats tag. plenty more of smaller organisational ones, you're welcome to fuck around & find out. all original posts are filed under #.txt, even when they're just an image. in terms of fandoms i'm a homestuck-heavy blog, but there's also mgs, haibane renmei, omori, petscop, and many other less regular ones. i also have a couple of secret sidebogs that you'll only find out about if i follow you from them, yay.

my english is Fucking Awesome Actually but i still make awkward mistakes sometimes; i'm also known for Taking a Long Ass Time to Reply to just about anything. it's not because i hate you, i pinky-promise. i still love making friends on here so if you're okay with that, i'm always happy to interact, be it in the ask box, prev tags, or dms

[faggylilpunk]

Finnaly made a tumbler! Anyway, haiii! :3 i am albert, i am a punk dragon dino!

What to expect:

very leftist ideologies

Politics

16+ posts

A lot of photos of me and cass

Talk of crimes (anything serious will have a tw and be tagged appropriately)

Furry & therian content (tho less common)

Punk diy stuff (i plan to make some tutorials for a lot of the diy stuff I've made<3)

F-slur/T-slur (I am reclaiming them but will have them tagged as #f-slur and #t-slur if they bother you ofc! Not changing my @ tho, it kinda means something to me qwq)

I may post words like slut, whore, and other degrading terms, they will be tagged as said word (ex: #slut) so you can blacklist the tag ^^

I may talk about themes of self harm, violence, abuse, or explicit substances, all of which will also be tagged! (Ex: #selfharm #tw:selfharm) but i will also have a more descriptive trigger warning for heavy subjects like self harm, sa, abuse ect. If you dont wanna fully blacklist the tag ^^

Some of my patches will have things that fall under these^ o will likely not go through the effort of censoring and i might not tagg it unless it's fairly close up so if it really bothers you just block me ^^ no harsh feelings

This isn't a 18+ blog, nsfw pfps will be blocked to keep ppl safe, my cusion follows me

Do not interact if:

Nsfw pfp

Anyone else, feel free to argue and talk shit, i will put nazis, pedos, fascist, zionists, zoos, racists, and who tf else i hate in thier place or just block ya after trying lol

About me:

trans masc/enby person (gender bxy)

therian/otherkin identifying with a dinosaur-esk dragoniod (yes, I'm aware I am human -_-)

I am a plushum, meaning I have romantic and/or sexual attraction, twords plushies. I consider my bunny plush one of my partners bc i love them very much

Furry

Pansexual and arojump (under the aromantic spectrum)

I am diagnosed with autism, adhd, dyslexia and dysgraphia

Self diagnosed and peer reviewed with social anxiety, gender dysphoria (duh), bipolar disorder (not sure which one yet tbh but it's exstreamly obvious to my bipolar partner lol) and potentially dyscalcula but im not fully sure so take with a grain of salt

Mutual/social anarchist, i really wanna be able to set up a free market where I live one day

I am very vulture culture, frequently bring home dead animals to burry for respect and bones

Very left leaning if it isnt obvious enough

I've been called the f-slur & t-slur a few times. Now i call myself that because what ya gonna do if I already call myself those oh so scary words?

Im atheist and dont believe in any form of life after death but like I support yall having freedom of religion, pagens, Christians, Muslims, Satanists, like go for it, I just simply cant understand the idea of a greater purpose

I grew up where slurs were used casually. I have racist redneck family. Thankfully, I grew up to realize wtf is actually wrong with that side of my family ?-? You can break out of shitty thinking, there is no excuse for racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, ect. Like get a life

I try my best to support, but we can only walk places, and we frequently eat outta dumpsters

More will be added as i think of stuff

[acaciapines]

as someone who’s very excited to read your Dess raises Kris AU, something that i’m really excited for is the dynamic between Dess and Chara! From the little excerpt we saw of them in the past i’m so curious as to how they’re relationship functions / how it’ll effect Kris growing up and such. If it isn’t too much to ask, could you go a bit in depth as to how they ‘work’ in a sense?

jkegkjdfgdf IT MEANS SO MUCH THAT UR EXCITED.....WOW.....like i am too its just so fun to know other people are!!

and! yeah so. i go into them a lot in this post here where i said. a lot of what my ideas are right now (and its said better lol) but i can for sure talk about them forever and ever and ever. most relationship of all time.

under the cut cause Oh My God it was not supposed to be this long.

so!!! i think a lot of how dess and chara work is that as time goes on it becomes increasingly obvious that They Do Not, actually. like, the way i see dess is that she is very much a person who needs to be on the move--she cannot stay in one place. that just...isnt who she is, and its stifling, and she HATES being weighed down. and kids, uh, sorta do that to you lol. vs chara, who like...has defined xirself around this role xe took up, 'cause the huge difference between them is that chara chose to have frisk and dess just sorta ended up with kris, right? so thats one point they arent ever going to like, understand the other one on.

so a lot of what leads them to deciding to stick together is this sense of loneliness they both feel...dess for being someone who is always on the move has also always had people with her: azzy, for one, but i think shes also the sort of people who makes a lot of like, surface-level friendships? i think shes A Lot and most people never get to know her that well, but like...chara DOES. and vice-versa for chara: people never bother to get to know xir, but dess WANTS TO. dess really truly cares about xir and xir life and who xe is which is very new for chara. cause before this all xe's had is frisk who is. literally a two year old and doesnt have any other choice lol.

theyre both people who have been dealt a poor hand in life in regards to dark world bullshit, something they cant exactly get help with through like, traditional means. they meet when theyre both super young--iirc dess is 18, chara 21? 22?--and yknow, raising a kid at that young an age isnt the most common experience. dess has run away from home, basically, and chara's a college dropout with a biological family xe never want to see again...neither of them have anybody else! they dont have any help! so they bond over that, a lot. its like...seeing someone Like You for the first time in your entire life.

and all that said its the kids thing that really throws a wrench into everything.

because dess cant stay still, right? she cant. shes not wired for it. but chara does, and she trusts chara, and chara doesnt mind watching kris, so dess doesnt feel bad leaving them with xir. but. a day becomes a week. week a few weeks, a month, a few months. as time goes on dess coming home grows more and more sparse. but theres this sense of like...chara doesnt really know who xe is, anymore, outside of this family xe has? outside of being a parent and spouse? so to chara, to leave dess is like, unimaginable. dess is xir person. dess loves xir, which is something xe cannot really comprehend as a loveless aromantic, but having never been loved in xir entire life (chara had a Bad childhood lets just say) its like...dess chooses xir. and sure, shes gone a lot, but when she does come home, her home is XIR. her home is chara. its gloriously dizzying.

and dess does feel the same way!!! dess never really means to leave chara for so long, she just...loses track of time. hates being Needed by kids in any way more than a cool aunt they see occasionally. funnily enough she gets on with frisk better because frisk doesnt really expect a mom out of her. (that isnt to say its returned lol kris likes dess wayyyyy more than frisk does. but for dess its easier to be around frisk cause they dont expect anything). if the kids werent a thing chara and dess would actually work a lot better--chara is a lot less adventurous and likes staying back and tending to things, but without frisk to like, REALLY cement that xe'd enjoy going out with dess, probably not into dark worlds but travel might be nice. and dess wouldn't feel so much pressure, if its just chara, 'cause chara kind of just likes dess for who she is. so for just-chara, dess could stay. dess is used to people wanting her to be someone else--her mother, her father, hell, even AZZY, who like...he never acted on it, but he had a crush on her for their entire friendship. she knows he'd rather she return those feelings.

but chara GETS HER. chara cares for her in a way that doesnt want her to become something she isnt--its why they get married!! dess never felt romantic love, and still doesnt, but its chara who makes her go--oh. oh, so i think i know why people might get married, actually. its saying--youre my person, and chara is her person. and vice-versa, of course. dess is this light chara never had.

but. of course. they have two kids.

which. complicates things. dess puts chara first--she LOVES chara, loves xir in every single way she can feel love. but chara...chara cares about dess, a lot. its why xe's really blind to a lot of xir faults for a while...because thats dess. xe doesnt know where xe would be without dess. but chara is a parent. frisk and kris do come first.

the kids are like, aware of this. frisk is very much aware of this--they're younger than kris but they dont have these rose-colored glasses about dess, and they sort of notice, how much of a toll it takes on chara to be a single parent, essentially, still. dess sends money back--she IS sort of the breadwinner lol, turns out selling weird dark world things is sometimes actually a viable career--but she doesnt, like, parent. when she comes home shes a friend. but not a parent.

kris fights with chara a lot. idealizes dess. its that idea that the parent who has to be the PARENT, be the one to say no, be the one to deal with all the crying and meltdowns and just general messiness of raising another human being, is the one that also gets the most flack. dess is never around! which is hard, but it also means she never messes up. at least in kris's eyes, lol.

for frisk and kris dess really is the one thing that like, gets in between all else. its the wound they all keep opening again, because shes never around, and it hurts. whenever she comes back and stays for a week when she said a month the kids know how sad chara gets!! how lonely xe is! but kris writes it off because dess will come back, and frisk grows bitter. its the one thing the two dont talk about because its the one thing that fractures their sibling relationship. every serious fight the two have is in some way about dess.

the entire reason why noelle and kris end up meeting? because kris thinks that if they prove themself as brave like dess, and dive into and close a dark world like she does, she'll stay longer this time. but of course all that does is get them stuck.

dess never does things maliciously. she does, really, truly, care about chara, kris, frisk. but she also just...does things. she never looks before she leaps. she shies away from facing consequences. and thats like...the sort of thing you CANT do, when youve got kids. but she never wanted them. she never meant to take kris.

she's just. in too deep. and chara does NOT hold her accountable which doesnt help. it would be best for the kids if chara got a divorce but. chara cant do that. xe cannot be alone again.

OKAY THAT WAS A LOT. uh. if you (general) wants to know more!! hit me up!!! tho i will say i'll have more to say about other relationships lol, i think i've said most of what i can able dess&chara right now. BUT I AM ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS AU I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON HOW IT CHANGES THINGS--

[thelovebug1968]

HELLO, WORLD!

My name is Dexter & welcome to my hellhole

Heres some basic info to get you started:

My pronouns are he/it, DO NOT use they/them or she/her for me

I am gay transmasc & intersex

I have intense amounts of adhd & autistic swag

I also run @shittydeviantartstamps where i post deviantart stamps i edit once in a blue moon

My (f)art will be tagged as “my art”

Pictures of my cat are under “nala tag”

Links to all of my social medias, my full collection of genders & my carrd can be found here:

Byf is under the cut

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW

Theres no real theme to my blog, i just post things i like you know how it is

I dont use tone indicators a whole lot in my normal posts but id be more than willing to clarify anything if needed or use them when talking to you if you need them

I tend to reblog a lot in one sitting so if that seems like something that would be overwhelming to you i suggest you dont follow. I dont use the queue feature when im here im here

Do not flirt with me even as a joke. No shit like "we should kiss" or if i post something like "me and who" reblogging it with "hehe meeee" or insinuating in any way that you are attracted to me or i am attracted to you. I am functionally basically aromantic. There is a 99.99% chance that i am not into you. If i am not into you this shit will fucking disgust me and i will block you. Smiles sweetly

There is no dni besides the obvious of proshippers, maps, terfs/swerfs, shit of similar nature but as a general rule of thumb if i find you strange in a way that isnt based i will block you

My blog + any other profiles are safe spaces for furries as well as therians & other otherkin (id be a hypocrite if not lmfao). If you find any of these cringe leave and consider ending your life

[greedthehomunculous]

Hey there 👋 The name's Greed-

but I think that's a bit obvious from the username and bio if you've read either of those. I just thought I should make some kind of introductory post for whoever stumbles upon this blog.

The GREEDS

🐍 Deceit (she/her + sie/hir) Yes I know the irony of a named liar being a greed kin. I think most of my mems are in an fmab and fma manga context.

💰 Neon (ze/it/aro) this one's greed stuff is a mixture of multiple fma canons. Might be a greed introject but isnt 100% sure.

💀 Cadaver (he/hey) 03 greed kin, has heir own blog with our other 03 kin over @2003greed

🐊 AND HI IM REMUS (he/it/rat) ur local Ulchi kin.

Bodily an adult but regardless I'm planning on keeping this blog sfw, and will do my best to tag anything risque as #suggestive

I'm gonna be honest I'm awful at social interaction and get too nervous when it comes to dming, so no messaging please- however! I love getting asks bc no matter how awkward I am, I love attention lmao

This isn't a rp blog, it is a kin blog though so fellow fma(b) kins + introjects feel free to say hello

Absolutely no p*do/inc*st asks/shipping stuff will be tolerated.

I'm aromantic! Specifically romance repulsed so I'd appreciate if romantic endeavors are not directed at me.

If I block you it's for a reason. Don't block evade and move on with life.

That's all I can think of rn! If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I hope you have a hell of a good day 😎

(Oh yeah also these nifty icons I'll be using were made by @/midnightkinz!)

[rainbowdoom32]

So I'm going to start identifying myself as aspec. Previously I identified as a bisexual aromantic but upon furthur consideration I might be asexual.

I'm posting about this b/c 1) it puts it out there and makes the lable feel more real and tangible

2) I know some of y'all IRL or on a personal enough basis that I feel you should know

3) A queers need more visibilty in gen

4) cause I want to talk abouy it

So Idk how to do a read more and am on mobile so if you dont want to hear about what being aspec means to me start scrolling now

So. In the aspec community (do we have a better word?) theres an overwhelming discourse about sexual and romantic repulsion. For those of you who dont know thats when the idea of sex , sexual content, sex itself, the idea of romance, romantic gestures, and/or romantic content acts as a squick for you it creates some spectrum of a revulsion in you to be confronted with one or more of these things. Its an overwhelming discourse for many reasons but the one I want to talk about is that it makes it obvious that your ace or aro if your repulsed by sex or romance. The process for discovering your aspec identity is easier in a way, specifically in a way it isnt for me.

See I dont experience sexual or romantic repulsion. I like romance stories and porn. I actively seek these things out. I'm not put off by discussions of others romantic or sexual lives (specific aspects may repulse me but in general I'm interested in these especially when coming from people I care about). So naturally as a teenager I never considered myself as aspec. i considered myself bisexual almost immediatly (there was a thing where I thought I was tricking myself into thinking I liked women to be included in the queer community. More on that later) it took two very short very middle school esque (one took place my sophmore year) relationships and an accidental internet encounter with the concept of aromantisim for me to realise that the reason this wasnt working for me was because I didnt really want it.

The more I thought of myself as aro the more things made sense. At the slumber parties as a kid I never had a crush to confess. Those two failed relationshios? Guy friends I'd gotten real close to and thought my new stronger friendship feelings must be what romantic attraction feels like. Also the real sticker, I dont get jealousy in romance at all. Like that one goes over my head. I dont understand why cheating is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship to the point that people who've been sucked into a cycle of abuse and have become convinced everything is their fault will snap when they discover they were cheated on. That is absolutly mind boggling for me.

The point of that is I never got that ew ick romance feeling. As a reult the road to discovering I was aromantic was long and and full of doubt. Doubt that went along the lines of "Maybe I just havent found the right person". Which also happens to be the exact thing my mum says to me everytime I try to explain that Im aromantic to her. Bisexuality she understands and accepts. This she doesnt. So even though I know intellectually theres no right person for me that niggling doubt remains andit haunts me.

Now im going to devolve a bit here and I know what this sounds like but im seriously not trying to be offensive just explain something

See I read a fanfic recently. I dont remeber how I found it but it was a Stony fic and the story and the set up were very romantic cliche. Basically Steve was Tony's booty call it evolves to friends with benefits Steve falls in love. Textbook stuff. But see theres a wrench because the author identifies as aromantic is with the definition we have aromantic. They write their identity onto Tony. Thats something we do in fanfic and in writing. But the problem I ran into is this: the author identifies as aromantic because they experience romantic repulsion(yes they told me this) so in the fic Tony is in love with Steve but experiences romantic repulsion. The idea of romance of romantic commitment makes him anxious and sick. This is how the author feels FWB allows them to experience intimacy without triggering their repulsion. Identifying as atomantic makes them feel not broken. This so good right? This is why we have labels

Except. When I read this part of the story it hurt me. Directly. See Tong Stark has Daddy Issues. Ehen the author wrote about Tony's romantic repulsion narritevly they tied it into Tony's not nice childhood. I dont know specifically why it wasnt part of thwir explanation when I told them their story hurt me. I didnt ask. But this narritive decision made what was essentially was an author expressing their experience as an aromantic in a story feel like a personal attack against my aromantic identity.

See when I read that what I read was "Tony Stark cant commit to an actual relationship with Steve Rogers because Howard Starks Grade A parenting fucked up his ability to recieve expressions of love and his ability to commit. Tony Stark is in romantic love with Steve Rogers but his childhood trauma prevents him from expresing it in the traditional manner this is what being aromantic is"

That hurt. Because it hit that little doubt in my head about not having met the "right person" and mixed it up with some childhood trauma made you a broken person. It also hit me while I felt safe. Romance stories are my escapism. Their like an extra element of fantasy in a story for me. I specifically seek out romantic stories as a comforting mechanism. Fanfics in particular because of their inclusivity. I was in my safe space, and I was whammed in a sore spot.

The problem is though the author has a right to that story and that label and to express themselves. We usually draw the line at self expression where it hurts other people but thats not what happened here. What happened here was definitial confusion. The author and I were using "aromantic" to describe two different but similar romantic orientations. In doing so we hurt each other ironically in the same way. We both said to each other "Your identity is wrong and toxic you hurt people and yourself by expressing it the way you do". (I left a comment saying how her story affected me)

When I say I'm aromantic I mean I experience no romantic feelings. None nada zilch. The idea that I might one day experience a type of romantic feeling is an aggression against me. The same way the idea that gay people can choose to be straight is an aggression against being gay.

But I can't invalidate someone else to protect myself. What do I do? I dont want to hurt myself and I dont want to hurt other people? Idk

And now to why I no longer identify as bisexual.

I'm a virgin. Because most peoples first time is with someone their in a romantic relationship with. And we'll I dont do that. Im also a socially anxious person. I have no idea how to instogate a sexual encounter and honeslty I wouldnt feel comftorable dping it with someone I couldnt trust or alternatively someone I'm friends with and would have to continue being juat friends with in post we had sex awkwardness. So ive never had an opportunity to have sex.

But I also havent sought them out. And I dont feel particularly driven to. These are reasons to think your asexual but I'm sure it's also the experience of many introverted and secually awkawrd people. And it's not like I couldnt have sex at some future point. Even now if an opportunity arose I might say yes, of only to confirm my asexuality.

The thing that has made me actually consider if I'm ace tho is a weird quirk of mine. I cant get off to prom videos. I use lit erotica. Why? Cause the idea that those are real live people puts me off. Porn stars and amateur porn makers know people get off watching their videos. Theyre okay with that. But I'm not. At all. Thats a big ol nope for me.

See I'm a ciswoman. Which means I have a clitoris. An organ whose only purpose is to provide pleasure. As everyone knows reciving pleasure via the clit requires no participation by a second person. The fact that my clitiros functions as intended and that I use it isnt sexual attraction.

Thats a new idea for me. But it's true isnt it? Sexual attraction is about other people. And sure I can appreciate other people's hotness. But just because I think a horse is pretty doesnt mean I want to fuck it. Remeber that thing about thinking I was faking bisexuality?? I was right. I wasnt sexually attracted to women. But what I hadnt bothered to consider because of heteronormativity was that I wasnt sexually attracted to men either.

Other fun fact in case you might be an ace person who's read this far (why? Also hi Katie and possibly Sadie but definelty Nishat. No im not implying any of you are ace) I dont have sex dreams. But I do have dreams in which I masturbate. So stick that jn your pipe and smoke it.

Anyways these are all experinces that I have that I feel neccessry to share to make it so the repulsion story isnt the only one out there. And also to start a discourse about how experiencing and not experiencing repulsion affect aspec experience. Thanks for reading!

[gamerism]

I posted 12,216 times in 2021

57 posts created (0%)

12159 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 213.3 posts.

I added 636 tags in 2021

#queue - 406 posts

#loki spoilers - 49 posts

#not saved - 43 posts

#my.stuff - 37 posts

#my.txt - 31 posts

#friends - 16 posts

#asks - 15 posts

#tfatws spoilers - 15 posts

#spoilers - 13 posts

#art - 11 posts

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Trish: Is that why you went to find Dante? V: Yes. Foolish. I thought maybe he could change my...maybe fix... Maybe right my wrong. Tell me... Was this fool before you right? (Jacket Mod Credit In Replies)

Image ID: Two gifs of V from Devil May Cry 5 coloured to be a hazy slightly warm pinky-purple. V's swirling fully body tattoos are visible on his arms and he is sitting wearing a purple jacket in both. In the first gif he's looking down at the ground. The text "In separating and regaining my human soul, I've realized the gravity of the crime I've commited" is overlaid on top. In the second gif V is looking at someone just off to the side of the camera and turns to look at the ground. The text "I've realized how important everything was, everything I've thrown away in my pursuit for power" is overlaid. End ID.

59 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 13:15:11 GMT

#4

How can I ever explain why I don’t want to, can’t go stealth. Don’t get me wrong, I live in a place where I’ll probably be alright as a visibly trans person, and I know how much privilege that affords me, but you have no idea how glad I am that I even have the option. 

Because for me, being stealth is like cis people erasing me. It’s different to the erasure of misgendering and not believing trans people are our genders. It’s different to that. But it’s still bad in it’s own way.

The box labelled ‘cis man’ just doesn’t fit, and quite frankly I don’t want it to. I have very little in common with cis men. But nonetheless that’s the box people try to shove me in when I pass. 

So no, I really can’t imagine spending the rest of my life forcing myself to not exist, to just be erased and washed away into the shadow of cis manhood. It would kill me in all different ways to never having transitioned in the first place.

But this is a concept cis people can’t even begin to conceive of, nor other queer people at times, to be frank.

I’m a man, I want to live my life being accepted as one. But I don’t want to live as a cis man, I want to live as me.

73 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 23:23:50 GMT

#3

a lot of you are like '(life thing we all experience) is just love'. and as an aromantic i'm here to tell you actually it isnt :) hope this helps.

190 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 23:06:07 GMT

#2

the only proper pay back for terfs constantly claiming that trans men are "stealing women's history" by calling james barry a man is for us to start claiming every fictional character who fits their 'a woman disguised as a man to be able to make it in life ect ect' as ours. also to more aggressively claim other historical figures. sorry, if you'd left dr barry alone maybe i would have let you have joan of arc but you didn't, so that's our history too

630 notes • Posted 2021-07-08 00:12:43 GMT

#1

For the folks who are waaaay too deep in the discourse about trans men's relationship to male privilege, your hypothetical completely stealth, perfectly passing trans man still experiences discrimination on the basis of being a trans man. To name the most obvious example that comes to mind for me: He'll find himself with much less access to the healthcare he requires than cis men, cis women and possibly even to a certain degree, visible trans men (though being visibly trans will also not afford any privilege in that situation, just a different set of problems).

There's no one trans guy you can hold up as 'basically on the same level as a cis man' in how he navigates the world. I'll say it one last time, regardless of how you pass as a trans person, transphobia is ingrained in western society, you can't escape it, and any conditional privilege gained from passing is not true privilege seeing as it's lost the minute someone is outed/comes out.

2895 notes • Posted 2021-05-17 07:21:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[stuckwitha-snakeboy]

Welcome to my main sanders sides blog :)

On here, I shall be posting literally anything sanders sides, ranging from fics I find, to moodboards, to art, so basically anything that isnt NSFW.

Before diving in, its DNI time if you...

Are lgbtq+ phobic

Are an exclusionist

Do not support aro/ace rights

Do not support nonbinary identities

Do not support the usage of neopronouns

Are using a NSFW/gore/political/vent/etc blog

Are not chill with people shipping RemRom

Do not correctly tag u!sides content if you have any

Do not support age regression

Think agere is sexual/a k!nk

...

Now that that's over with for now, I'll do my intro. I wont put my real name on here for privacy purposes as well as for safety, but you can call me Ace. I use he/him, it/its, and fae/faer pronouns. I am aromantic asexual, as well as agender.

In addition to this, I do age regress as a coping mechanism so please be careful if interacting as I get really sensitive while regressed.

I am a minor, so please refrain from messaging me if you are older that 18. That being said, its alright to interact with my posts if you are older than 18 as long as you are respecting my dni and not messaging me privately.

I will not hesitate to block you if you are clearly breaking my dni.

If it wasnt obvious, my favorite side is Janus. From there, Logan, Roman, and Remus are tied for my second favorite, Virgil following that, and Patton being my least favorite bc personal reasons.

My main blog is @ bubblegumbitchhh if you want to check it out :)

Hope you enjoy:)

[baybeered]

I wanna add on to what @cinnamon-ginger said with this, just some food for thought:

1. As stated Devin Grayson does not have any current say in what Yelena's character is currently. That's obvious but a lot of people are taking this to be "Oh this is what I intended all along" when we know as for a fact that's not true, WE LITERALLY HAVE AN INTERVIEW OF DEVIN SAYING SHE MADE YELENA WITH THE IDEA OF HER BEING ASEXUAL (extending to romantic attraction so aroace) AS BEING A FOIL TO NAT

We know, FROM THE TIMELINE OF STATMENTS, that Graysons opinion seemingly did not change until people started shipping Yelena with Kate, the one year difference from 2020 (the interview) to late 2021 (post shipping and Hawkeye show statements)

2. Regardless of whether her opinion this whole time was actually that Yelena isnt aroace, the comic that confirms it (the famous "I'm not a lesbian I'm not anything") IS NOT WRITTEN BY DEVIN, the writer of that comic is Greg Rucka.

3. DEVIN GRAYSON IS NOT AROACE AND ACTUALLY A REALLY PROBLEMATIC PERSON. Now obviously a writer doesn't have to be aroace to write an aroace character, obvi obvi, but what I mean by this is that Devin very clearly does not understand the harm she is causing to the aroace community and the backhanded remark of saying she cares about representation therefore the character should have no cannon orientation is complete and total bogus, that kind of thinking may work with allo characters but it very much does not with aspec characters. I won't speak much about her being otherwise problematic bc that's for someone else to talk about not me.

4. all that aside, the tweet posted by @natashagearmaster includes a part where Devin says (in reference to it being canon) "assuming that none of them [comic appearances] address the issue explicitly, then no, it isn't canon. If one of them has or does, then yes, it would be." to which it is important to remember that Black Widow: Pale Little Spider DOES ADDRESS THIS. I'll give you that it's not technically explicit because they do that say the words asexual or aromantic but Yelena is directly asked about her sexuality/why she doesn't date/why she hasn't dated anyone, if the reason for that is that she's a lesbian and the answer is no she's not a lesbian, she's not anything, makes her, by process of elimination, AROACE.

and look, yes characters are subject to change from original intent, we've seen this happen twice to asexual characters with Daken and Northstar (who, to my knowledge, were both intended originally to be asexual but were changed because it didn't fit the kind of stories people wanted to write), actual proof that yeah! this can and has been taken away from us before! (disclaimer; Daken and Northstar are great as they are currently but it does sting a little to know we could've gotten rep a long time ago) So it's really really bothersome to see people advocating for it to be erased AGAIN

also also, it's important to note that the only other aroace character in Marvel, Nadia Van Dyne, has an extremely low chance of ever being present in the MCU as Hope Pym fills the spot she's supposed to, Hope being as, far as we can tell, an allo character.

If you’re allo, I don’t care what you’re opinions are on yelena being aroace. I especially am not going to “get along” with people who hate my existence in fandom spaces cause “it drains you’re mental health because you don’t like fighting uwu”.

This goes for literally all of the allos, straight or queer.

Listen to aspect voices.