#this is also why im seeking another place

[monsterhugger]

yo when did this blog get flagged as mature

[killerlookz]

another think piece bc this is kind of getting ridiculous now and i feel so bad for the people on here who are constantly losing motivation or outright deleting their hard work bc of some dumbass kids on the internet

im genuinely curious now, bc i still keep seeing people post about their work being posted on joostwt... like it must be on purpose now right? look i can understand being naive and coming onto tumblr for the first time and just looking up a fandom you like and then being surprised when people are little freaks about it ... but i mean at this point you have to KNOW what is on tumblr we've been the talk of joostwt (and tikok honestly) for like over a month now... you're no longer "accidentally" stumbling upon nsfw works you're actively seeking it out. and specifically actively seeking it out to harass and degrade the people who made the work, to what? to prove your own "morality" in this fandom? do you really think joost feels better now that you've put some random person on blast? do you think he's going to get on his knees and thank you for fighting the evil disgusting tumblr fandom... omg get a GRIPPPP!

if the tumblr fandom bothers you so much... stop actively seeking out the tumblr fandom??? like if its so gross and weird to you WHY do you keep coming back. go block some tags, or delete tumblr off your phone and stop trying to live out your repressed high school mean-girl fantasies over the internet and go outside.

like personally i dont really enjoy the joost fandom on tiktok or twitter, so i just simply dont interact with them, that easy. sure if joost content happens to be on my feed ill probably like it, but other than that i dont go out of my way to search the joost tags, or seek out fan accounts, bc just not my vibe- i suggest the rest of you do the same for us on tumblr

and tbh like i probably assure you joost is not surfing the "joost klein x reader" tag on here 😭 he's not going to see this shit as long as YOUUUU stop reposting them other places. anyways if you want to complain about sexualization are you also going to complain about the women he sexualizes in his songs? or what about that short story he wrote where he talks about a woman going down on him in a club bathroom... are you going to complain that he sexualized that woman? or when he talks about how he stole his friend's mom's bra... are you going to whine about how he sexualized her? because that's him sexualizing a real-life person. i mean cmon if sexualizing real people is so bad, lets at least keep our morals consistent.

[radioactivesweet]

Ok hear me out, what about moon god s/o x Poseidon, its been itching my mind cause of the sea x moon troupe.

What i imagine is, s/o being a powerful god like nyx but rarely appears so only a few gods know or saw them so Poseidon became curious about this mysterious (beautiful) god. Feel free to add more about this!! im just really craving for someone to write this 🥹

Uhhh I like this concept a lot!! I tried to keep the reader's gender kinda neutral, I hope it's fine^^ btw I really enjoyed writing this!

word count: 1.2k

Poseidon often found himself staring at the moon. He couldn't really explain why he would do that - not that anybody would dare asking the God of the Sea what he was doing. Unbothered, Poseidon would stand silenty on the ivory balcony, looking up to that apparently endless sky. Even for someone like him that domain appeared far and full of mystery.

It was a dark night, its only beam being the peaceful and perlescent light emanated by the sleeping moon. He was once told that a god inhabited the moon, far from all other living beings. It wasn't known the reason why the deity ended up there, observing humankind from the satellite. Some believed they refused to get involved with human affairs and chose to live as a hermit instead; others claimed the god was exiled and was cursed to live on their own, bound to live in loneliness; some believed that god to have died long ago, the moonlight being their only inheritance, the memento of a god who existed no more, the reminder of a otherwise forgotten past.

Poseidon, everytime he would look at the moon, would wonder the real story behind it. None of the moon goddesses he knew could give him a response, despite asking themselves the same question - with whom were they sharing their moon? A god, a ghost or nothing at all?

Not knowing made the God of the Sea restless. He wasn't supposed to be this ignorant - it was his duty and right to know the truth. Yet, all he knew didn't make sense to him at all. He couldn't find a reason why a god would choose to abandon their place a seek shelter on the moon; if a deity was trapped on the moon, he would have surely heard of it somehow. It wouldn't have been just a rumour; lastly, gods weren't meant to die, it wasn't their nature. They didn't have an expire date nor any time limits, so it was impossible to begin with. If there really were someone looking down on him from the moon, Poseidon would discover it.

Poseidon spent that whole night reading books and looking for information regarding the legends surrounding that mysterious and mystical figure. There weren't many references and he couldn't even find the name of that god, yet there were reported some events which most likely involved them. A beautiful deity whose melancholic face was reflected on the moon on certain nights, someone wearing a silvery armor while riding a shining chariot across the sky. Also, a powerful god who could conceal the sun and the earth. A god capable of moving the stars and making humans into constellations. A god who could flex the tides to their own amusement - which meant disturbing the God of the Sea too - the moon phases and the sea had always been strictly connected to one another, but the thought of someone directly interefering had never crossed his mind. An ancient deity whose name had been long forgotten and all traces canceled, no statues nor temples left, their believers long dead and turned to ashes.

Poseidon was intrigued to say the least. He couldn't recall even if tried the last time he had felt so interested in someone - maybe last time was when he recognised Hades as his brother thousands of years before? He didn't remember anymore, and it didn't really matter to him neither.

Rumours spreaded fast across the Heavens. It was a matter of days before everybody knew what the lonesome Poseidon was looking for, yet nobody dared approaching him nor suggesting him the information that could have helped him reach his objective. Yet, everybody was curious as to why he was interested in that legend in the first place. Poseidon was used to those lower deities' gossips, so he didn't pay them much care, they were nothing more than a bother and wasn't expecting them to act some other way. He was more interested in what certain gods had to say.

Zeus, despite his prestige, knew no more than him but reccomended talking with the goddess Nyx, whom he was afraid of, much more ancient than he was. Hades and Hermes agreed with Zeus and added some rumours that had been circulating for ages in the Underworld regarding a moon deity who lead the souls of the dead to Hades' domain. Beelzebub clearly remembered studying moon's phenoma and seeing that legendary face. They didn't ask him the reason why he was looking for the god. He wouldn't have answered anyway. Without a single word, he left, approaching his next destination, the goddess all gods feared: Nyx.

He respected the goddess, recognising her value and strenght, but didn't understand the reason why even the almighty Zeus feared - he could only suppose it must have been because of one of his many affairs that didn't end the way Zeus imagined. Poseidon didn't have anything to do with that though, therefore had no reason to fear her.

Nyx knew it all, the story of the human who ascended to the skies and then flew even higher above. That god's name was (Y/n), the vagabond of the stars, the hermit who found a home in the dim light of the moon. Poseidon was satisfied by the answers he had finally found - and a way to reach the moon itself. He was close to his goal.

He had finally landed on the moon. Poseidon had never been there before. It was the first time he got to see the sea he ruled from that perspective. It was a foreign feeling to him. He could almost understand the reason why humans tried so hard to leave Earth and reach the space - it was undescribable. He couldn't even blame (Y/n) for hiding in that timeless place. Poseidon felt as he could touch the stars if he only wanted to. And he was just about to do it, if only a sudden voice hadn't interrupted him.

"I've heard someone was looking for me. I don't receive many guests, so I suppose you must be that person." it was quite, almost a whisper. It didn't surprise Poseidon. (T/n) mustn't have had someone to talk to in a long time.

"You are Poseidon, aren't you? You often stare at the moon, I noticed it." a voice comparable to the music of the spheres, the musica universalis, the harmony between the celestial bodies.

(Y/n) seemed to have no material consistence, one with the stars and the deep blue sky surround them, floating on the ground, detached from the earthly beings. Poseidon almost felt unworthy of being before someone surrounded by such a, otherwordly aura, belonging to a different dimension. On the other hand, he was attracted by that holy creature.

"You are welcome here, God of the Seas." almost as if they had read his mind, (Y/n) reassured him "We all belong to the moon, all beings are made of the same stardust. There are no differences between us."

For once, Poseidon, enchanted and bewitched, couldn't reply. He was part of that symphony too - he could feel it resonating deep into his bones.

The everlasting sea below him, the everlasting stars above him. Poseidon felt whole for the first time in his equally everlasting life.

[megistusdiary]

*clears my throat, takes a drink of water, and opens a scroll*

ahem.

hear ye, hear ye, it tis i, 👑 anon, here to formally request another delectable helping of thine vampire arlecchino works? i do in fact realize that it tis not the tenth month, but why let that deter us? your vampire works are simply magnificent, dear fellow!

i hath been conjuring up an idea in my cranium and it has been floating around inside there for quite some time, you see.

*drops scroll*

anyways, lemme cut to the chase here- the idea is this: werewolf reader x vampire arlecchino where they're both switches and they kinda have to fight for dominance for a bit before arle eventually overpowers the reader 👀 the rest is completely up to you, im down to read anything that you write 🙏

before i end this off i just wanna say rq that i love your works and as a writer i look up to you a lot even though ive been writing for quite some time. ty and have a nice day/evening/night 💕

the way this made me kick my feet and giggle... omg

i am so glad you enjoy vampire!arle, she's one of my favorites!!! i'd be happy to write some more for her

(also, that means so much to me, and i want you to know how honored i feel 🙏 and, welcome 👑 anon ♡♡)

(nsfw utc - tw switch!arle, werewolf!reader)

it has been said countless times, and in many forms of literature (even the ones for humans) that vampires and werewolves do not mix.

obviously, arlecchino can't quite get used to your dog smell. and you can't quite get used to how cold her skin feels.

nevertheless, you've found each other to be quite... agreeable as time has passed. you've come to seek her out, enjoying the time spent with her. she's done the same, thinking about you long after you've left for the evening.

things have progressed rather interestingly in your relationship, though. you seek one another out not only as friends, but as partners. you've found solace in her arms at night, just as she has in yours.

some nights seem to have you needing each other even more than others, full moons, in particular.

tonight, you have her on her back, your body hovering over hers. the effects of the moon have some of your more wolfish characteristics popping out. your eyes look strange, teeth growing into sharp points, nails growing out and poking holes into your bedsheets.

her bright red eyes meet your yellow-hued ones, but before she can speak, you wrap a hand around her throat, effectively cutting her off.

her hand grips yours, a silent warning you ignore with a smug smirk before smashing your lips onto hers. it's messy; teeth and tongue clashing as you fight her for dominance. it leaves you panting, spit trailing onto your skin as your tongue slides over hers.

she rolls you over, now sitting on top of you as she lets your tongue stay in her mouth. she gently nips at your lip, hearing your involuntary whimper. your hand slides off her neck from this position, causing her to gain the advantage as she grips your chin and pulls away.

"just what exactly do you think you're doing?" she asks and you groan at her, trying to pull away.

"it's a full moon! obviously, you know how this-"

she cuts you off by gripping your throat with inhuman speed, squeezing just enough to silence you. "i know what? that you're just a dumb, overgrown puppy who needs to be put back in her place? is that it?" her voice is low and dangerous, thumb sliding over your throat.

she glances at your panties, seeing you've soaked right through them and she glares up at you. "what a slut." she chastises you, tugging the fabric down anyways. she admires the slick connecting them to you before she tosses them away.

you gain back control once more, flipping her over and kissing her, your hand sliding down into her own panties, fingers rubbing over her pussy. she grunts, head falling back into the pillows as your fingers slide into her.

she allows you to play your little game just long enough to bring her to the brink of orgasm. then, you find yourself on your back once more, this time with your ass perked up. she spanks you hard, reprimanding you for bratty behavior.

her fingers find your cunt, harshly slapping your clit before sliding two fingers into you, feeling you tighten up so easily around them.

she mumbles into your ear, all sorts of filthy words as she fucks you on her fingers, pussy fluttering around her. the palm of her hand grinds into your clit, and she guides you to your orgasm only to bite into your shoulder.

you practically scream for her, blood dripping down your skin as she sinks her teeth deeper into you. she grunts, licking over the wounds as you come down from your high. "i detest the taste of most wolves, though it evades me how you, of all of them, could taste so... delectable."

she looks down at you as you pant, head lolling to the side as she peels her own panties off. she tugs you to look at her, slowly inching up your body to position her pussy over your mouth. "go on, mutt."

[cottondo]

hey! been scrolling your page for the last two minutes, and i think its really cool! i like the short story's you do, and i was wondering if you can do angle dust&husker x reader? husker and angle already have an established relationship in this, but maybe when a new patron for the hotel comes they take interest in them? just an ask! thank you!

Hi hi ! Im SO sorry I took FOREVER TO GET TO THIS OMG @airhead-arts

Here you go ! Also really sorry how trash it is , I’m not really proud of my writing lately 🥲❤️‍🩹

Requested ;

Angel x reader x husk

After coming across a hotel for sinners that seek redemption, you stuck a free place to live that offered food, room and board. It was nice, overall. Didn’t have to worry too much about somebody crawling inside your window, trying to kill you in your sleep. Then, there was the clientele. Most of them, super friendly! Alastor seemed a little creepy and weird, but you paid no mind to him much.

But, one of those certain ‘patrons’ living there, rent free, was Angel Dust.

Yep. The porn star.

You honestly couldn’t believe it- - but then again, anything was possible, you guessed.

You sat at the bar, which was surprising in itself, and sipped on a fruity mixture in a fancy little glass that the cute bartender poured. “New in town, kid?”

You nod, giving a slight lopsided frown. “Yeah- - well, no.” A bit dazed, your figure sits up straight out of thought. “I’ve been in hell for a few months now.”

Husk leans his arm on the counter top, and wipes out an empty glass. “So what’s gotcha so down?” He raised an eyebrow towards you, to which you glanced up from your glass and opened your mouth to respond; However, you were cut off by another voice that crept up from behind you.

Two hands trace their way up your arms, parking on your shoulders. The head leans down to your ear and smirks. “Because they haven’t said hello to me, yet.” A voice purrs in your ear. You pause, eyes widening, as you glance to your right and see a familiar face smiling at you.

Husk rolls his eyes, and stands up straight with annoyance. “Angel, leave ‘em alone. You don’t have to flirt with everyone you lay eyes on.”

Angel shrugs, still taking the liking to you anyway. “Oh, please. Y/N loves it~” He smirks down at you.

You laugh up at them, taking Angel’s hand and pulling it off from your shoulder. “I mean, I think you’re just coming on a little strong,” There’s a giggle under your tone as you catch them both stare with confusion. “But it’s fine with me.”

Angel shrugs, snapping out of the daze, and smiles. “See? Told ya!” He sneers over at Husk. “Why don’t I give you the ‘grand tour’~?” His head tilts down at you.

You were about to respond, but glance over to Husk as if looking for his approval of something.

The bartender lets out a huff, stepping around from behind the bar to situate himself beside you. “I think you’ll need a chaperone.” He mumbles with a dull look to his eyes.

You’re plenty amused, now. If you didn’t think this place was gonna be fun before, well shit - you certainly do, now.

With a laugh, your figure slides off the barstool and then glances between the two demons. You take Husk’s hand, then with your other, lock arms with Angel. “Guess I’ve got myself two tour guides.” You smirk.

Husk gives you a little smile in return, looking down at your hands, while Angel nudges you gently, “The more the merrier, doll face~”

[youremyheaven]

Ketu: Detachment & Connection

I thought I would expand more on the nature of Ketu in this post. Although both Rahu and Ketu are shadow planets (they are the north and south node of the moon) they experience this darkness very differently. Rahu seeks intense immersion in their experiences and seeks to absorb as much of their material realm (Rahu is the head) but Ketu is disconnected from this completely (Ketu being the headless torso) and even if they want to, they cannot immerse themselves in the material realm, they find it disorienting or simply feel disconnected from it all. Its meaningless to them.

The Ketu nakshatras are Ashwini, Magha & Mula

Ketu is in the darkness and to be Ketuvian is to be in a tunnel perpetually seeking the light. It can be a very uneasy energy to inhabit if imbalanced but this is why spirituality is so important to Ketu natives, they have to cultivate spiritual discipline if they are to peacefully embody this energy and find clarity in its detachment. Most people struggle with overattachment, so having this Ketuvian energy is a great starting point since you're already detached but grounding is very important as there is such a thing as being too detached or uncaring.

The Ketuvian struggle for connection reminds me of certain 8h themes and I think 8housers and Ketuvians have a lot in common in that regard. You need to have an intense kind of connection to feel anything at all, everything else feels kind of mild to your senses. Only intensity can wake you up and make you feel "awake" or "aware" as Ketuvians are sort of in this passive detached state otherwise.

I noticed many of these themes in Jungkook's solo songs. He is a Magha Moon and Mula Rising (he has such a puppy energy, it must be Mula's dog yoni hehe)

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that being heavily tatted (a full sleeve of tattoos or just being covered in tattoos) is a very Nodal thing to do because they're plunged in shadows and making a mark spiritually helps them feel more connected or because they have to indulge in the extremes of anything for it to feel impactful.

Jungkook has a song called "Still With You" released in 2020, widely considered a love letter to army. These are the English translation of some of its lyrics that I found correlating to his Ketuvian energy

"That faint voice of yours that grazed me Please call my name one more time I'm standing under the frozen light, but I'll walk step by step towards you Still with you

With no light in the darkroom I shouldn't get used to it But I'm used to it again The low-pitched sound of this air conditioner If I don't have this, I will fall apart We laugh together, we cry together I guess these simple feelings were everything to me"

Fame can be a very intoxicating and addictive experience for Nodal natives. Since they feel very disconnected otherwise, they experience connection when it is pouring in such a large or vast scale. But this sort of dependence on fame and fans can also be destabilising and unhealthy because you never know when it might all go away. Since fame is so fickle, its dangerous to rely on it to feel "connected". This is why soooo many Nodal natives who are celebrities are sooo often self-destructive. You keep chasing that high and you'll never feel satisfied, you can never fill the vacuum you have and the harder you try, the more empty you feel.

I don't say any of this to be discouraging, im only trying to point out the emotional expectations we place upon certain experiences and even relationships and how it turns toxic and unhealthy when we do that. If we were to use another person to feel connected or tethered to the world, whilst it may work for us, they must feel very drained by being our anchor.

Jungkook has another demo called Decalcomania and the lyrics go like this:

When I see you smile in the screen You're good at everything You're just perfect Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me? Do you know who I am? Or how do I look now? You don't like me like that

Come and tell me so much, you beautiful heart Oh, I'm gonna listen to you Please

All the numbers too big Can't get out of your game Oh, I want to paint it like you Please

I want to be your decalcomania I want you I want to be your decalcomania I want I want you

He is singing about himself and how he feels dissociated from himself. Fame can be a very dissociative experience for Ketu natives as their search for connection means they feel even more disconnected from the person they become to achieve this connection. Decalcomania refers to the process by which engravings are transferred to another surface (paper, pottery etc). It ties back to Ketu's need to be marked upon, they need something to make an impression on them, literally, because otherwise it does not feel real to them. Jungkook is asking himself to transfer the person he sees on screen to himself, so that he can embody the lightness and joy he sees on him.

Jungkook has another solo song called My Time in which he sings:

"24, feels like I became a grown-up faster than everyone else My life has been a movie, all the time I ran to where the sun rises every single night It's like I've been to someone's tomorrow The boy who found the world too big Keep on runnin' errday, pick the mic up Friends ridin' subway, I'll be in the aeroplane mode All over the world rock on, I made my own lotto But is it too fast? There are traces of losses Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?"

Nodal natives (both Rahu & Ketu) regardless of whether they're child stars or not, have to grow up faster than others. This again makes them feel very disconnected from kids their age, you feel vv lonely.

Oh, I think I was in yesterday 'Cause everybody walk too fast I'm a little kid grown up not knowing it (Like a child who got lost) This got me oh just trippin’ It feels I'm roaming over Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?

It feels confusing and disorienting to live a life that others cant relate to you. Immense wealth and fame can make you feel this way but Ketuvians feel this way in general. They look around them and they feel lost like everybody else is moving too fast.

"Sometimes when I'm gasping for air I wear my hat low and keep running Yeah, I don't gotta know where I go Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present Two time for the past Happy that we met each other Now 'til the very end"

He's expressing his gratitude for everything even though it feels so alienating and confusing.

There is another song called Stay Alive in which he sings:

"그림잔 커져가지만 Although my shadow grows larger,

괜찮아 너란 큰 빛 덕분이니 It’s okay because it’s thanks to the great light that is you"

This is such a sincere explanation of what its like to be a Ketuvian in the limelight, he's thankful for having such a vast fanbase, the source of his "light" (remember that Ketu is in darkness and is always seeking light) but chasing this light means having to morph into somebody else/feeling disconnected from yourself which he succinctly expresses through the line "my shadow grows larger". Since Ketu is in perpetual darkness and is a shadow planet, it does not confront its shadow on its own. Its the seeking, the constant chasing for the light which they need that brings them to see their shadow.

Perhaps you feel very void and disconnected in general but you have a friend or a partner who makes you feel very tethered, through them you absorb their light but this also means you learn to look at yourself more clearly (Ketuvians are blind to their own nature) and this can be a very disconcerting and difficult experience if you've seldom ever felt "seen".

Emma Watson, Ashwini Sun, Mula Moon

I remember reading this interview in like 2010 where she said that whilst doing red carpets for the last Harry Potter movies she would have these moments where she looked into the mirror and felt very disconnected from the person she saw.

She subsequently turned to yoga and meditation and is even a certified yoga instructor. She has also mentioned going on silent retreats.

Ketu natives truly find balance in their lives when they cultivate a spiritual practice and devote themselves to it. Emma has largely stayed out of the limelight in the last decade or so and will probably continue to do so, this is very Ketuvian again, these natives find social interactions, especially the kind of intensive press tour celebrity life to be very draining, they need to retreat and do things in a way that is "real" to them. Emma has spoken about taking a break from acting and working behind the scenes.

Jungkook deleted his IG despite having 40+ million followers and like most Ketu natives he is very private and has no social media. It does not feel natural or real to them.

In her British Vogue interview, Emma said,

"...Her characters have felt, at times, “much realer” than she was. “I’m just so glad that I did [step away from acting] because I have this feeling of having my own voice and creative space and sovereignty in some way that I don’t think I did before".

This time has allowed Watson to concentrate on her “inner scorecard” (how you feel about yourself on the inside), versus her “outer scorecard” (your outward success, as seen on social media, for example). “I get a front row seat [with] some of the most successful, beautiful, incredible people in the world,” she says of Hollywood’s inner sanctum. “And when you have that seat it becomes very, very clear that there is just absolutely no level of success that will make you in any way happy or content if you do not like who you are or enjoy what you’re doing when no one’s watching.”

All of this feels like evolved, balanced and mature Ketu energy.

Miranda Kerr, Ashwini Sun

She is another person who I've always thought embodies a very healthy and evolved Ketuvian energy

Here's an excerpt from her interview:

“First, I try to do a little meditation and yoga, depending on how I feel. I've been meditating since I was 18. I've learnt Transcendental Meditation and Kriya Yoga Meditation, but sometimes I'm just too much in my head and so I need to put on an app. I use Insight Timer, which has different guided meditations, from a five- or 10-minute meditation or deeper ones which help if I can't sleep.

“Gratitude puts everything into perspective. The way that we speak to ourselves is really important, and to be aware to pull yourself up if you’re being self-critical and try and look at things in a positive way. For example, we can look outside and say, ‘oh my goodness, I can't believe it's raining’, or we can look outside and go, ‘well, it's cosy when it rains, I'd love to be inside and I get to wear my favourite scarf’ – we can switch our whole perspective on so many things. For me, waking up in the morning and thinking of at least three things I’m grateful for is so important. Just simple things like, ‘I’m grateful that we have fresh running water’.”

Salma Hayek, Magha Rising

Salma has been practising meditation and yoga for decades and has said: “It’s actually feeling the energy,” she said. “It moves and it dances inside of you, different sensations and emotions. So I use a lot of the frequency machines.”

Hayek claimed that her meditation works wonders for her appearance. “Sometimes when I’m doing it, people tell me when I come out of the room, ‘Oh my god. You look 20 again,'" she said.

She also warned that if she stopped meditating, her face would suffer. “When I don’t do it for a while, guess what?” she said. “The face starts to drop and everything starts to drop.”

Spirituality comes easier for women than men imo and Ketuvian women are more likely to buy into all things spiritual like crystal cleansing, chakra reading and even other offbeat spiritual techniques.

Gigi Hadid, Ashwini Sun & Rising

Gigi is another person who embodies really healthy Ketuvian energy

In her interviews, she always sounds very grounded and tethered. She said:

"I got pregnant and I really started to think about what I wanted after, when the world opened back up. (she got pregnant during covid) It kept coming back to just a more stabilized schedule where I’m not in a different country every week. This is very stabilizing. I have an office that I come to. I know everyone here. I don’t have to look a certain way to show up. It’s a different experience for me, and it was the right time because I was ready for that,” 

To realize what is causing you to feel unstable and deliberately manoeuvre your life to create that stability requires self-awareness and maturity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mula Moon

He has talked about how bodybuilding and building his physique really helped him feel connected to himself in a different way. I think this is an interesting manifestation of Ketu's disconnection and need to go to extremes to feel anything. Arnold's workout routine from his Mr World days is pretty insane, he worked harder than anybody else and was single-mindedly focused on it. Pushing yourself to such extremes and committing to it is difficult but those Ketuvians who can do so will benefit from it immensely.

Ketu is detached from the material realm. For a Ketu native that isn't tuned into their spiritual side, this can mean feeling disconnected in general but the blessings of retreating to spirituality, slowness, stillness etc means shifting to a version of life where you feel anchored within yourself without depending on anybody or anything to feel that way.

All of the people I mentioned above turned away from the spotlight or made choices to make their lives more grounded and stable and as a result they feel content and satiated. They are detached from the material realm but firmly tethered to the things that matter to them.

I just wanted to make a brief post about how Ketuvians embrace their shadows and how spirituality anchors them.

I hope this was insightful.

[obsidianpen]

These questions about Lightning make me wonder what direction you plan to take it. I know you don't use the same things in every story, which makes them so delightfully unique. This is just my wishful thinking for you to explore the prophecy more. I know that in the books the power that defeats V is love, but for some reason I feel like there's something more to it than that. Harry is the chosen one, and that could mean so many things. Jamie, have mercy on me and please tell me something about this new story of ours 🥺🥺

omggg what me ramble about my the plot of a fic im not writing? Please

okay so

SPOILERS in case I ever do get around to writing Lightning

Here’s what I know so far about how the beginning of the fic is going to go (and I may, ofc, change my min entirely):

Harry, a young auror in training, goes back by accident, due to a dark ritual involving the ring, an illegal time turner and human sacrifice that he Ron and Hermione attempt to bust on their own, ignoring ministry protocol. Things go very awry, Harry ends up in 1950 ish, alone. Oh and he has a ton of gold, thanks to an interaction Draco that happens earlier that day - how lucky

Harry carries a terrible blood curse with him, and knows immediately that this shit is going to kill him and soon if he doesn’t seek medical help. But he also knows that time traveling like he did, no matter the circumstances, will send probably him to Azkaban, if not off as a test subject to the DoM. He knows they’ll look into his memories if he comes off as suspicious at st mungos, because it’s a real dark curse, and he’s a horrible actor and he’s awful at Occlumency and he knows it, so

harry concocts a ridiculous plot that allows him to pull out alllllll of his memories but with a plan in place to get them back after his curse is lifted, and sets things up so he wakes up right outside st mungos, where he knows they’ll take care of him

he is well taken care of, the poor lamb, to be attacked on Christmas Eve!!! and spends a few days there, maybe makes some hospital friends who have also had their memories fucked with

they assume he was the victim of some awful mugging, and that the perpetrator wiped his memories after and did such a terrible job and that’s why Harry can’t even remember his own name (they deduce his first name is ‘Harry’ only because he wrote it on the inner tag on his robe beforehand; a healer tells him that next time he writes his names on his personal belongings, he ought to put his last name, too)

but he still has his wand - how lucky! So they tell him he should go to ollivanders, as it looks like one of his (man remembers every wand he ever sold, ten galleons says he’ll remember you)

so Harry does, and the moment he asks, ollivander’s face goes slack - he’s clearly been confounded. He goes into a back room, hands Harry a moleskin bag, and bows him out of his shop without another word.

Harry goes back to the room he’s renting, and it’s NYE btw, and he opens the bag to find a shit ton of galleons and two vials, both glowing silver, one so bright it’s almost blinding. There is a handwritten note on each one. ‘Before you died’ and ‘after you died’

another note reads something along the lines of, ‘hi Harry, these are all your memories. I’m not even sure if you should take them all back or not; it might be better if you didn’t. It’s not often you get a chance to start over. But I know you - ha - so you’ll definitely end up taking them back. Maybe think about it first. It’s not great. I think I’d take the do over. really, think about it. Oh, and while you’re considering it - avoid Knockturn alley.’

harry does indeed find this all ominous, and assumes he must have been a horrible horrible person. He probably stole all this gold! What if he killed people for it! So he takes his sad amnesiac self down to the Leaky and starts to day drink heavily as the new year approaches

he is friendly with the young bus boy named Tom, who swears he’ll be running that pub someday.

as if gets busier later in the day, quite crowded, Harry gets more depressed. At one point, half the bar seems to cheer when a new person arrives. harry looks. He’s tall. He’s very handsome. He immediately makes Harry’s mind go on high alert and he’s instantly anxious and doesn’t know why.

tom the busboy tells him that if he keeps staring like that, the bloke is going to notice. Sure enough, he does. Harry looks away and is having a crisis (why am I staring at that handsome man? Why do I keep calling him handsome? Am I gay, and I forgot? Wtf is wrong with me)

so he goes to leave, but Tom the bus boy got busy, so he shouts to get his attention so he can say goodbye to his bestie. “Tom!”

”…Yes?”

wrong Tom. Harry is suddenly eye to eye with the very tall very handsome very scary man. He’s staring down at him, looking confused. “Have we met…?”

harrys body acts without his consent. He moves in ways he did not know he could move - in a flash he has his wand out, pointed at this man’s temple, has him backed up against a wall, his elbow across his throat, pressing on his windpipe.

about a dozen people around them are ready to kill Harry at once, but mystery tall man calls them off with the barest gesture. Harrys heart is pounding and he is having all these horrible confusing thoughts, like ‘should tear his head off, lock him up, stop him now, ruin him’

And he’s looking right into his eyes while thinking all these things, so TR is just drinking it all in, unbeknownst to him

Owner of the bar yells at harry. Harry, so very confused and too guilty and panicked to even apologize, just leaves. he goes somewhere far away for a bit… and decided to take the first vial of his memories then

mental crisis ensues

aaaaaaand I actually have a lot more than that semi planned but that’s the exposition 🥲

[atinycafe]

so I found out that I'm the giggly, wobbly (wobbly as in i literally cannot walk for shit BAHAHISNFKXDN), but also quiet drunk from when i drank a little too much one night and I was wondering how ateez would handle a drunk like that bcs I can't stop thinking about it 🤭

ATZ WITH UNUSUALLY CALM DRUNK READER — headcanons

pairing: ateez x drunk!reader genre: fluff wrd cnt: 2.0k author's note: SEDRTFYGUKH BE CAREFUL GIRL, funny how my most popular post is about reader being drunk but i dont even drink alcohol irl, aniwayys i feel like i fucked up your ask but hope you like it still ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃ also why is wooyo such a hater in this post, im living for it masterlist

　　○˳　　　　　　hongjoong

you feel a gentle hand on your thigh and you glance over to see hongjoong beside you, his worried eyes peering through the kohl makeup. he moves his hand from your thigh to the back of your head, caressing the back of your neck, his fingers tangling with the clasp of your necklace.

"you okay there, baby?" his soothing voice reaches your ear, even amidst the booming bass playing in the club.

"mmhm," you nod simply, the soft buzz of alcohol making your thoughts feel like they're moving in slow motion. you nuzzle your face against his shoulder, feeling sleepiness creeping in, making you hesitant to speak.

"you're usually… louder," he asks, noticing how you're staring blankly ahead. confused, you blink slowly, not fully processing his words, your mouth slightly agape. hongjoong brings a hand up to gently close your mouth, his thumb gliding over your glossy lips.

"… and you're so cute," you mumble, and hongjoong is taken aback, a rosy hue appearing on his cheeks. he chuckles in disbelief before leaning in for a sweet, small kiss.

"you think i'm cute?" he chuckles, gently placing his palm against your cheek, his eyes crinkling with delight as he catches your fleeting gaze. you nod quietly, letting your hand rest on his thigh as you slowly trace a path up to his face, before leaning in to plant another kiss on his lips, "nah baby you're the cutest."

　　○˳　　　　　　seonghwa

"getting shy already?" seonghwa whispers in your ear, pulling you closer by the belt of your low-rise jeans. you've been dancing with him for a few minutes now; it's become your usual thing whenever you're both at the club. you always look forward to dancing with him, but tonight, you've had a bit too much to drink, and now you're seeking solace, hiding your face in his chest.

"hwa, 'm tired i wanna sit," you say, looping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as you lean on him for support. he responds by holding you even tighter, his hand sneaking around your waist.

"baby's not feeling it tonight? let's get you somewhere more silent," he suggests, gently guiding you through the moving bodies. finally, you settle in a more secluded area, and he helps you sit down before taking a seat next to you.

"you good?" he asks, his eyes on you as you plot yourself on the cold table with your head tilted to the side, looking up at him through your eyelashes. he places a comforting hand on your head, patting it gently.

you take his hand and rest it against your smushed cheek separating it from the table, enjoying the cool sensation of the many rings on his fingers. he chuckles at your gesture.

"sweetheart remind me not to let you drink that much next time."

　　○˳　　　　　　yunho

"what're you staring at?" yunho slides a hand over your shoulders, looking curiously at the half-empty glass that has captured your attention for the past few minutes.

"puppy," he playfully nudges his head against yours, trying to bring you out of your daze when you don't respond. he pouts, not used to being ignored by you.

with a tongue-clicking sound, he grabs the glass from your hand, and you gasp, attempting to reach for it, but he holds it up higher, causing you to lean forward and accidentally fall onto his lap. now that he has you there, he smirks mischievously and drinks from the cup right in front of you until it's empty.

you frown at his theatrics, but he sighs loudly and places the glass back on the table beside you, then starts rubbing your back.

"what's wrong, tiny? don't feel like talking to me?" he smirks as you turn away, reaching for his own glass. however, yunho quickly grabs your wrists in his hands.

"uh-uh, you've had enough tonight. you're not even paying attention to me anymore." his whining matches yours, and you finally calm down when you see his pout. you peck his lips softly once and then again, ignoring the dramatic retching sounds coming from wooyoung behind you as yunho presses a hand on the back of your head, deepening the kiss.

　　○˳　　　　　　yeosang

yeosang, being a silent drinker himself, finds your hyped-up drunk self to be a perfect match for him. but when he sees you sitting there quietly, it puzzles him. despite the soft buzz from the alcohol, he senses that something might be bothering you.

he draws you closer, and you enjoy the sensation of his leather jacket against your bare skin. he absentmindedly plays with a curl of your hair as he bends down slightly, looking into your eyes from the side.

"what's wrong?" he whispers, observing your reaction carefully. however, you can only look at him with confusion because…

"what do you mean, what's wrong? nothing's wrong, i'm good, you're good, we're good." you answer, your words slurring as you hide your face in his jacket, sneaking a hand under his shirt, feeling his body.

"ah, my baby's totally wasted," he smiles, tilting your chin up to get a better look into your eyes. "do you wanna go home? i'll get us an uber right now."

"yeah, i'd like that," you reply, and he drops a kiss on your lips before taking out his phone to book the uber. you rest your head on his chest, watching as he arranges the ride for you. when he's done, you turn to him with big doe eyes, and your bottom lip juts out a bit.

"sangie," you say.

"what?" he blushes under your unwavering gaze and instinctively gets closer to you, feeling your warm breath on his face.

"you got games on your phone?"

　　○˳　　　　　　san

two fingers snap in front of your face, and you flinch. you turn to see the cause of the sound, and there's san, looking all pouty.

"what's up, baby? not having fun?" he takes your face in his big, rough hands, rubbing his thumbs reassuringly on your cheekbones. "we can head home if you want."

"honestly, san, i'm so drunk right now, i can't make out a word you're saying," you mumble, the words coming out slurred from your lips, making san's mouth form an "o."

he giggles at you, his flushed skin showing he's also quite tipsy. his dimples pop out, and you can't help but place a soft kiss on them. this makes him giggle even harder as he pulls you closer into a tight hug. san always gets clingy when he's drunk, and you both usually turn into the giddiest mess, but tonight you're too intoxicated to act like that.

"baby you don't have to talk, 's okay just kiss me," he says, not even waiting for you to make the first move. he starts peppering your face with thousands of little kisses. when he pulls back, you notice the glitter from your makeup adorning his plush lips.

"you got sum on your lips," you absent-mindedly mutter. he wipes at his lips, asking, "oh, where?" before you move closer, saying, "lemme get it for you."

and with that, you drop one last kiss, which turns into a full-on makeout session, making wooyoung groan disgustingly next to you.

　　○˳　　　　　　mingi

"princess, you don't look so good," mingi remarks, concern evident on his face as he notices you absent-mindedly fiddling with your fingers and your unfocused gaze. you turn towards him, briefly closing your eyes.

"do you," you start, trying to get your thoughts across clearly despite feeling a bit tipsy, "do you wanna hold hands?"

mingi takes a moment to grasp your words before he lets out a little laugh. he places his hand gently on your thigh, palm up, inviting you to take it. with a bashful smile, your unsteady fingers find his, intertwining with his own.

"'f course, i wanna hold hands. why wouldn't i want to hold hands with the prettiest girl in the room?" he says, his smile widening as you shyly look away. he didn't expect this reaction from you while being a bit drunk. mingi brings your hand to his lips, planting soft kisses on each knuckle, causing you to hide your face with your free hand.

"you're sooo drunk right now, usually you'd be grinding on me, but you wanna hold hands? and you're acting all shy about it, that's new." he playfully teases, squeezing your much smaller hand in his, enjoying the cute size difference.

"shut up," you mumble, attempting to withdraw your hand, but he doesn't let you. instead, he pulls you closer and places an open-mouthed kiss on your neck, whispering close to your ear.

"if i knew i'd be seeing you actin' like that, i would've gotten you on that henny earlier."

　　○˳　　　　　　wooyoung

"pretty come sit here," wooyoung says, spreading his legs out, causing san and yunho to grumble and move away. he pats his strong thigh, inviting you with a crooked smile, and you gently sit down, wrapping your arms around his neck.

he places a warm hand on your covered thigh, and the fabric hardly stops his warmth from reaching your skin. resting his face in the crook of your neck, his hair tickles you slightly. he playfully nibbles your collarbone before planting a sweet kiss on it, leaving a little red mark behind.

"why are you in the corner all alone, you're not having fun, mmh?" he asks in a soft voice, looking up at you from below your chin. you pout a little, enjoying the way wooyoung's soft voice soothes your ears after enduring the loud club music. "a beautiful girl like you should be dancing in the middle of the club."

"the alcohol's really strong here," you whine softly, and wooyoung pecks your bottom lip. he pulls back slightly to gaze into your eyes, his own shining, as if he wants to remember your face forever.

"the alcohol's not strong, you're just a lightweight," he chuckles, making fun of you, which makes you grumble and hide your face in his neck, not wanting to be teased anymore. "come on, pretty, let me see your face. can't hide it from me, you'll make me cry."

"i hate you," you whisper, before giving in to temptation and pecking his soft lips. he smiles during the kiss, his hands gently caressing your legs.

"wrong, you're so in love me with me." as you nod against his head, he lets out a deep laugh, kissing your lips once again, pulling you even closer to him. "one more kiss, please?"

"i can't stand you."

"that's why you're sitting on my lap."

　　○˳　　　　　　jongho

you're snuggled up close to jongho, who's bantering with hongjoong in a boisterous manner. when your head rests on his shoulder, he glances at you and pulls you even nearer by wrapping an arm around your waist. with a sweet peck on your head, he greets you with a laid-back "hey."

"hey," you reply, gazing at him as if he's the most captivating thing in the world.

he asks, humming out, "you doin' okay? i haven't seen you dance at all."

feeling his chest vibrating against you adds to the charm of the moment as you answer, "'m doin' okay." jongho can't help but smile, finding your current state of calmness at the club adorable yet novel. it's not something he's seen before, but he definitely likes it.

"how many drinks did you have tonight?" he raises an eyebrow and chuckles when you count your drinks on your fingers. eight fingers are raised, indicating the extent of your indulgence.

"that much." you mumble absent-mindedly, prompting him to lovingly scrunch his nose at you. he takes one of your hands, bringing it to his lips, where he gently pecks two of your manicured nails.

turning to hongjoong, he asks for a glass of water, which his friend agrees to and glances down at you, slouching contentedly on jongho's shoulder.

"now that we're alone, i can finally do this," jongho murmurs, placing a hand on your face and gently brushing away the hair obscuring your eyes.

"do wha—" you start to ask, but he interrupts with a long, lingering kiss on the lips, savoring the taste of alcohol in your mouth. his tongue glides from the roof to the bottom, teasing and dancing with yours, leaving both of you breathless and wanting more.

"usually, you're the one pushing me to kiss you in front of everyone. never thought i'd miss it," he admits with a hint of nostalgia in his voice.

[blurbfics]

There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part eight]

Summary: A normal morning in Azriel's life.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: fluff, slight sexual insinuations (when are Nesta and Cassian not banging tho), anxious mannerisms, beginning of emotional turmoil (not yet angst)

Minors, do not interact.

a/n: yeah yeah its another short one but i guess i can only write 2k words at a time unless its cassian's pov? anyway, hope yall are riding with me still! i just finished an outline im feeling more satisfied with so fear not my friends! there will be more plot coming soon. besides we gotta let them fall in love, right? here's some luna lovegood-esque content. also if you haven't seen dinner in america, you should give it a try. it's so cute i havent had a crush in so long

part seven

Masterlist

"Creature of my desire, takes us higher

To not hold your face or feel your embrace, is why I waste

But she's just a phase, just a phase

Boy yeah, she's easy to replace"

Puma Blue, (She's) Just a Phase

It was yet another day of training with the priestesses and nothing was truly different than any other day. 

Every morning he would wake up alone at his townhouse in the city and quickly down his plain but nutritious breakfast before winnowing directly to the House of Wind, and if he heard disconcerting sounds coming from inside the house, he pretended he didn’t and that he didn’t notice the bright red bite marks on his brother’s neck when he appeared a few minutes later, eyes hazed and a smug satisfied smile in place.

Except that when he winnowed to the training ring that morning he found he wasn’t alone. 

The sun was only barely waking up and yet she had already made the day her own.

Eowyn panted from her spot on the floor (at a reasonable distance from the now faint creaking sound coming from the house), the only visible skin around her eyes bright with perspiration yet she didn’t seem to be doing anything to explain her clearly strained behavior.

Clearly sensing his approach, the young priestess snapped her eyes open and evened out her breaths. “Oh, hey Master of the Shadows” she breathed casually, using one of her usual obnoxious titles she thought were hilarious, having heard them spoken earnestly from a brown nosing vendor in Velaris. The first time she’d called him ‘lord of shadows,’ he’d been so gobsmacked by the ridiculousness of the title and had let the surprise slip on his face, which had caused her to latch on to the titles. Since then, he refused to correct her, knowing that doing so would only be fuel for her to do it more. 

He frowned at her, “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a priestess admire a sunrise around here?”

His frown smoothed into something more neutral. While not letting it show, he found himself curiously amused, but mostly profoundly intrigued. As if she was a puzzle he couldn’t help but try to solve. “You looked like you were convulsing.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at him and despite the thrill he felt shooting down his spine and the smile he felt threatening to rise on his lips, he quickly composed himself, masking any rising emotion with a stoic look on his face. His clear dismissive disinterest seemed to irritate her further. “I was warming up,” she shrugged, looking away and he needn’t see her eyes to know it was a lie, despite how casually she tried to make it sound, “thought I’d take a moment to rest.”

He couldn’t help himself, “right…unless you’re here to listen to Cassian and Nesta…?”

She tilted head slightly to the side in confusion, her dark eyes seeking and he watched in amusement the second it clicked, the top bridge of her nose, barely covered by her veil, scrunching cutely as she grimaced at him. He half-mindedly wondered if part of her clear aversion to the sun was due to the possibility of freckles on such lovely skin but quickly rid the notion, knowing somehow intrinsically that her aversion to the sun ran deeper than vanity. A shame she didn’t spend more time in it, he considered. She’d look lovely with freckles.

“Please,” she snorted, “I’ve enough with Nesta’s detailed descriptions to last a lifetime, I don’t need to hear her make Cassian cry out her name and beg her to ‘let him cum’ right now, I’m getting the full story later.” And while the casual talk of sex surprised him, somehow foolishly expecting pious shyness from her, it was the next sentence that intrigued him. “I’ve been hearing too many things in the wind all morning to focus on something so banal.”

Perhaps there was yet another exception to his otherwise normal and routine morning— his immediate and decided rejection of Rhysand’s attempt at a mental connection, his rhetorical daily debriefing where his boss presented him with his case file and mission for the day, except Azriel had no intention to go on any missions today. He’d told Rhys he’d be busy three days of the week every week, and any missions he assigned would either have to wait a day or he could deal with the problem himself. Today, as he knew very well, was a Juneday and today he trained with Eowyn after their daily group training, and he had no intention of canceling his meeting with her.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, and when his eyes came back to focus he saw that she was now back to her feet, no longer looking as out of place as she inspected him with a hint of concern in her eye. “You just…left.”

“I was talking to Rhys,” he explained, a half lie. He figured that Rhysand’s lack of insistence meant the conversation could likely wait.

She only hummed in response, nodding understandingly and asked nothing further. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her.

“What was your question?”

Irked, his eyebrows narrowed at her, “what were you doing?”

“You don’t let anything go, do you?” She rolled her eyes, exasperated, but he saw a glint of absolute glee light her eyes. “My Venus dionaea has officially held onto the will to live for a month and even sprouted a companion, so of course I had to stay and offer moral support to a postpartum mother.”

He stared at her, “this is…a cannibalistic plant?”

“Close, it’s carnivorous, but I’m glad to know you’ve been paying attention to my ramblings the past couple days. Do you want to see it?”

And he did. Pay attention to her, that is. Eowyn was an enigma to him. He couldn’t say he’d ever met any fae, male or female for that matter, that intrigued him as much as she did, for the interest he had in her was not the allconsuming yearning for belonging he’d wanted from Mor nor the passionate protective desire he felt for Elain. What started with simple curiosity and intrigue in the young priestess turned into a challenge for him, to uncover layer after layer to her person and know— he just wanted to know her secrets, had no intention of using them against her or doing anything with them, really— he just had to understand her.

And every day, Eowyn revealed only enough for him to obsess over all over again. She barely opened the curtains to the window of a locked chamber, allowing him just enough to know there was something there but never know what it was. Not all of her revelations were shown through conversations– in fact, the majority was based on her altering moods, as indetectable as they were to others.

He continued to stare, mind truly blank for something more to say. “Sure.”

He couldn’t help the deep breath he inhaled inside the warm greenhouse, that smelled mostly of varied flora but contained something else, her own scent somehow intertwined in the greenhouse from all the time she spent in there. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the thought of what her office in the library must smell like, of what her bedroom smelled like.

“Now before we approach her, there are some rules,” she spoke so quickly and lowly, he had to strain his neck down to catch everything. Surprisingly, he found that he didn’t need to pull his wings tighter into himself to fit, the small space somehow big enough to fit both of them comfortably through the rows of plants. “You do not, under any circumstances, point at her,” she instructed, “it makes her feel insecure and anxious and it will kill her. You’re not allowed to speak to her unless you’re praising her in some way, and please, for the love of the Mother, do not approach her if you’re in a sour mood. She can detect that and it makes her so upset, she’ll refuse to eat for days”

“And why am I speaking to a plant?”

“Because here, life is precious,” she said grandly yet the way her gaze held his told him she did not speak lightly. As boisterous, even performative, as Eowyn was when she was feeling particularly tired— a rather common occurrence he’d noticed in the few months they’d trained together— there was an edge to her voice, only barely noticeable enough for him to know that she truly meant her words, believed in them. “A greenhouse oversees the line between mortality and immortality. Here, plants may sometimes die, but I’m here to make sure that their kind doesn’t die with them— thus they will live on, as long as the earth, its nutrients, and the sun allow it to. I quite enjoy the perspective it offers.”

He’d noticed this of Eowyn, as well. As sharp and cunning, if perhaps somewhat timid and shy at first glance, as she was, there was something peculiar about her that one could never pinpoint. It was no secret that she was bright, that she held an infinite wisdom in her sharp dark eyes, but they also held something some may find… jarring. An almost imperceptible but always present sort of manic way about her. 

Her eyes, the only indicator he had to perceive any type of true emotion, were always flittering around, always inspecting her surroundings, as if looking or expecting something to occur at any moment. He noticed, sometimes, how she seemed to tremble in place in a way that went beyond exertion or even cold from the brisk mornings, like there was something rattling inside her that needed to get out.

It was particularly present now. He inspected her and noticed the dark circles under her already dark eyes framed by long soft lashes. He’d known for a while that Eowyn often had trouble sleeping, and he was beginning to recognize the signs when she was going through a particularly tough episode. 

She had told him that since their training had begun and she became more exposed to the outside world, she’d found solace in nature beyond what was contained within a mountain. This helped, she told him, but it clearly wasn’t enough.

Despite her clear sleepless frenzy and anxious energy, Azriel thought, objectively, of course, that she looked rather beautiful. 

He immediately chastened himself at the thought.

He’d made a vow, if only to himself, to focus on himself for once rather than to yearn for or ‘pant’ after females, as Rhys had so gently put it. Had decided that unrequited affections only brought hurt and pain, and going after a priestess that sought haven in a library precisely because she’d been so hurt by a male that she would want to live in a micro-society where they couldn’t invade, was like a slap in the face. As if he only went after unavailable females and what did that say about him as a male?

As always, he stopped the thought and filed it away for later.

Instead, he spent the rest of the morning listening to Eowyn coo and awe and the truly puny and ugly plant barely sprouting two leafs that looked like flat lips, but he kept the comment to himself, promising not to look at the plant that she’d ever-so-lovingly called Thelxi, in tribute to the Siren Thelxiepeia from the human tales that cunningly seduced her prey before consuming them like a true predator. She cooed at the plant, telling it how smart and cunning it was in between her truly fascinating bits of information that she often shared with him. Information he cherished, despite its lack of practical use.

It wasn’t until his shadows pulled him away from the bubble he hadn’t realized he was in, whispering of his brother’s annoyance mixed with concern about his lack of appearance in the sparring ring.

Even as he rushed Eowyn out of the greenhouse and into their group session, feeling Cassian’s red hot glare upon him when he showed his face, he couldn’t bring himself to regret the slight alterations to what was otherwise a perfectly normal day.

part nine

taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel, @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland

[dreamwritersworld]

The chore. Part 2 (Sully family x reader)

this is part two of my first story! :) I decided to add the healing and growing of our character to ease the pain and panic that mayyyy or may not come in the next part 😭. I hope you enjoy it! 💕

Tuk had only just now fallen asleep since it’s been a couple of hours flying. I know that sooner or later she’s going to be hungry so I decided to take a break and go out hunting for our meal. I laid her down safely with my Ikran while I went to go hunt. It had only been an hour since I left so I whistled to see if Tuk was at least up, patiently waiting for a whistle back. She wasn’t thankfully but I was indeed so tired so I just decided to set our meal and future meals for the flight ahead.

I slept longer than expected not as much as Tuk though, I could only hope that the trip wasn’t taking a big hit on her. So I started preparing the meal that I hunted and started a fire, moved Tuk even closer in case she was cold. We ate and got back to flying. A couple of days passed and I can tell as much as Tuk tried to hide it, she was tired of flying and searching for “a place to settle”. She just constantly asked me “are we almost there?” All I had to give her was “We’ll see Tuk-Tuk! Just hold on goofball! :)” I don’t have a plan but I hope she doesn’t notice, she should be at peace and I can’t cause anymore trouble, especially since I’m the reason she wanted to leave the forest.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours I felt tears and a frustrated sob that I noticed Tuk was over hiding how she felt. “Im tired of flying. I want to go home. I want to settle wherever you said home would be. But we can settle another place can’t we? I just want a home.” I couldn’t do anything but hold her while she cried because I knew I had to keep going. I soon realized she was starting to catch a fever, a really bad one so I was in a hurry to find a clan to approach.

Her fever was only getting worse she was hanging on but I didn’t have much time. I feel tears build up, feeling like I let her down until I see huts I think we’re close to something. I hear calls, announcing a newcomers arrival, my arrival. I hold Tuk in my arms crying begging for help. “I do not come to harm anyone Please. Help my sister is sick and it’s only getting worse.” I see the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik coming towards us and I take a kneel to show some sort of my respects since I am holding Tuk in my arms.

“Why do you come here on our island for?” The woman speaks. “I seek a place to call home. A place to settle. I understand I am different but I will adapt. WE will adapt. We will learn your ways but please accept us. My sister is burning up and- please just heal her please.” The two turn to each other and discuss with their eyes as I wait and hold Tuk tight “Sister it hurts, everything hurts”

“I know Tuk, I know it’s ok just hang on” they turn back to me and the Tsahik says “Come with me child.” I follow quickly, hearing the Olo'eyktan urge everyone to return to the normal “Everyone go back to your duties!”

I stand by watching her do her work by the time she’s done Tuk is feelings better but quickly rested. The Olo'eyktan walks in as soon as she is done and she turns to me and says. “My name is Ronal, this is my husband Tonowari. How long have you been out flying?” I look up nervous to speak “M-my name is y/n. Who you just treated is Tuk. We have been flying for a couple of days now.” Silence is between us as she contemplates her next words “You seek a place to settle yes? Well you must learn our ways as you already stated. You must not fall behind.”

“Yes, yes I understand thank you. Thank you truly” She takes a moment to look at my face “Child, what is that scar?” I watch as she touches it. “Oh, it was from a fight I was in. Trust me I don’t do those anymore.” She laughs at how quick I was to cover it up. Then they decided that although we were newcomers, we shouldn’t have our own mauri since we were young. I couldn’t argue this since we are their guest, so they settled us comfortably into a far corner of their Mauri.

Finally a real sleep.

I woke up to a meal being cooked and settled on the table. I had greeted the leaders and introduced myself to their children. The girl, Tyseria lead the conversation asking about Tuk and I’s interests and hobbies and we all seemed to get along until it was time to clean up and I was asked to stay longer while the two siblings did chores. Tuk had walked away into our corner to start beading a bracelet with the new materials Tyseria gave her.

In a gentle voice Tonowari said “We do not mean to bring harm but we must know what went wrong seeing as you are a child taking care of a child. How has it come to this?” I looked down slightly saddened taking in what he said as it was true and seemingly sad. Although I had to be honest and stay true to my word, I told them everything, every detail, every word ever spoken about why I fled the forest.

“Well then y/n…we will take care of you and house you. It seems as though it is in your nature to protect the innocent, you have a strong heart. So I am sorry that on that day, the day you were once again shut out and left to die. No one was there to lift you up into their arms, the way you lifted others like Tuk into yours. No one cared for you the way you should’ve been taken care of then, so allow us to care for you now. It’s time to be at peace Y/n. ” and for the first time ever it was ok to cry, cry tears of happiness and comfort. I was finally going to be at peace.

So that’s what they did. We soon became daughters to them. I grew close with Tyseria, took care of Tuk and surprisingly got along with Aonung even if we seemed to always leave conversations with both of us blushing like crazy. At some point it was hard, to lose old habits. I was so used to being on my own and taking care of Tuk I sometimes lost sight of how others perceive me…just a kid.

*flashback*

I unknowingly over worked myself, fighting to show I can still stay on the island, a war nobody even knew was happening. Once Ronal told me to stop working as my hands were starting to bleed, I accidentally got upset and told her “I can’t stop I need to keep going, stopping means I don’t care anymore.” It wasn’t until then Tonowari and Ronal pulled me aside to talk is when I realized this isn’t like before, I’m not alone.

“All right, your not alone anymore and your not a bad person for leaving. You did not come out of the womb as a frustrated person Y/n. You. Y/n, came out of the womb a beautiful child who unbeknownst to her had a couple of wires crossed. So when you have finally received true love. The love you were always meant to have, it set something off in your brain that wants to deny it and keep fighting. You have been fighting a losing game since the first day you were in your other parents care. So you can sit here and continue looking me in the eye and say as calmly as can be, “I’m fine, it’s not big deal, I’m not thinking about it anymore and I am no longer upset at my past.” That. My child, is the disease of silent frustration. It is deadly. The hardest part about having this disease is that no one in the world can see it besides the ones that hold you close. And that is why we are here to show you we care, we are not leaving, we are not going to ignore your feelings, and we will go through this together. As long as we are here no one can hurt you” *

It was moment like those when I needed someone to pull me out of my old habits, even Tyseria and Aonung did.

*Flashback*

I was looking over Tuk while she slept, it had only been a couple of days since we arrived but I was still pondering over the fact that I could’ve lost her if I had no solution to her fever. “What are youuuu thinkin?” I heard Tyseria giggle and say. I stood quiet considering if I should even say anything with the two siblings in the room but I decided to anyways “I thought Tuk would be the one…finally.” Confusion was written on their faces until Aonung said “the one what y/n?” I looked back down “the one who’s life I didn’t harm.” I immediately feel their hugs as Aonung said “you didn’t do anything wrong y/n, you did the best for her.” *

So yes it was difficult, but I made sure we knew their ways and observed everything to show Tuk to be better. We got many eyes and compliments because we learned at a quicker rate and speed than anyone at the island ever did. I didn’t want to overwork Tuk, I could never do that to her so instead while we were doing extra practice I taught her in games, the same way we did in the forest. It was going good and she maintained a smile until we were entering our home and I mentioned us having to practice breathing techniques. That’s when she got frustrated.

“No Y/n I can’t do it. It’s hurts. I can’t practice breathing. It’s easier for you to do when you already know the ways. This is the only thing I can’t and won’t do.” I sigh contemplating my next words, this is about survival and if I need Tuk to be safe I need her to learn how to breath underwater especially since she is surrounded by it. “Tuk please I know it’s hard and trust me I don’t know the ways fully either but we will learn. Together.” She’s silent considering what I’ve said “You made it so that we don’t have to fly anymore Y/n, so we that we can be together still. We’re safe now.” I glance down and smile “yea I guess we are” we sit for a moment enjoying the view of the beach. “All this. It’s worth it. All those times you would ask me if we’d find a home, all I could ever tell you was “We’ll see” and your face would fall every single time.”

“It’s better than saying yes and lying to me.” Tuk admits. “That’s what I told myself. But you want to know something I didn’t tell you? I never had a plan, I never knew where we were going. I never knew anything. I just fought and fought and fought and hoped you didn’t notice. I hoped we’d find something before you did. Did I do a good job?” My voice cracks as I start to tear up hoping I didn’t ruin her. “Of course you did sister! Are you crazy?!” I laugh and continue “When I was about to leave and you swore that you didn’t want to stay. Tuk, I fully believe if you hadn’t come I’d probably be lost. I was right to hear you out back in the forest, you made a request and I just had to trust myself and you to make the hard call. To take you with me. How did I get so lucky?” Tuk smiles and says “You made it so we can so thank you. For everything” I take a moment to stare at her and hold in the morning before saying “your welcome, for everything.”

We clean up the Mauri for awhile and continues the night like normal instead this time I felt a small hand reach out to me. “Can I..? Could I maybe sleep with you tonight.” Something we hadn’t done it in what feels like years. “You know like I did when I was little.” I agreed inviting her in. “Yea I-I’m not scared, just tired.” I smiled at her trying to reassure me while she hugs me in silence “….Tuk you’re still little” I hear her laugh and sigh “yea I know” and we drifted off into sleep.

Hope you enjoyed my loves :)!!! 💕

[idontego]

We Should Make Up | Kaji x Reader

Summary: This is kind of a part 2 to the break up headcannon i wrote. Kaji sees you entering a bar and can’t help but seek you out and try to make amends with you after your breakup.

A/n: This was so rushed bc i have somehwere to be so i will more than likely go back and make adjustments to this! Let me know what you think! ALSO TOMORROW’S EPISODE WE GET TO SEE OUR MAN AGAIN IM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!🤍

Warnings: breakups, alcohol, suggestive toxic relationship habits, co-dependency, swearing

It was out of the norm for you to go out, and by go out i mean bar hopping, drinking in public places with your friends or worse- strangers. It had been a few months since you and Kaji split up and as much as you didn’t want to, your friends finally convinced you to go out with them. You wanted to hurl at the idea of Kaji finding out about you going out and even worse, drinking on top of it. It was one thing that he would be upset over, strictly because he always felt the need to watch you and be with you out in public only to protect you and it was another thing, because he imagined how easily you could be taken advantage of if you were intoxicated. Just the thought of these things could easily set him off.

You entered the bar wearing a black mini dress with a corset top, squeezing your rib cage and extenuating your breasts and a regular pair of heels that were semi comfortable, nothing over the top. You didn’t know where this night would end but your friends were sure they’d help you make the most of it.

Meanwhile, Kaji sat in his room preparing to patrol and do his almost daily routine of also checking up on you from afar-watching. He was walking down the same street you were on and was concentrating on individuals around him-scanning the area for any threats, and that’s when he saw you. His eyes immediately widened and his jaw dropped almost to the floor as his lollipop hit the ground. He was shocked seeing you in such close proximity to him and you were wearing that?! And you were here?! But you looked so good, so tempting. His eyes examined your figure until he shook his head and ripped open another lollipop wrapper, tossing it in his mouth. His face of shock quickly turned into anger. He looked left, right, and left again to see if anyone he knew was about to see him enter the same building you were in. Kaji did not go out, ever. He didnt like the people, didnt like the setting, didnt like the idea of sweaty shit faced people rubbing up so close to each other, especially you.

His eyes met yours amongst the crowd- if looks could kill, he would be the embodiment of it. You’ve never seen him glare this hard before. Or at least not at you. “Oh shit.” You mumbled under your breath. You swiftly turned your head around in the opposite direction, which was a sad attempt at playing off seeing him-hoping he didn’t recognize you.

To only make matters worse, when you turned around, you bumped into a guy’s chest causing him to spill his drink. “I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh.” You apologized.

“No worries! I’ll just get another one. Why don’t you come with me to get something for yourself as well.” He said with a big grin on his face.

“Uh, sure!” You replied following him. Could this be your escape from Kaji’s glare? Did he lose you in the crowd by now?

You approached the bar and waited on your drinks when you heard a gruff voice behind you and their body heat against your back. “Hey!” Kaji said with the same glare on his face.

“She has a boyfriend ya’ know.” He proceeded

“Oh, really?” The guy questioned.

“She does.” Kaji confirms. Kaji already made his point very clear to this man and you and his stance and the look on face had ‘do not fuck with me’ written all over it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to disappear but this was actually happening.

“I dont actually.” You blurted out. “In fact-“ Kaji cut you off grabbing your waist and leading you out side of the bar.

“What the hell are you doing her-“

“Did you really think finding some random drunk guy here would solve all of your problems? What were you thinking? Did he try to get with you?”

“Kaji, that’s not what i was hoping would happen. The girls wanted me to go out with them just for tonight because I’ve declined every other time because it still just didn’t feel right to do something like this even though we aren’t together. You know just as much as i do that i never liked going out or drinking.”

“This dress looks really good on you by the way. It’s a shame i never got to see you in it til’ now.” He said rolling his eyes and completely disregarding what you said.

You blushed at his compliment and your heart began to flutter again. Gosh.. why does he have to have this effect on you. “Kaji, we need to talk.” You said, looking at the ground.

He lifted up your chin, so you’d look him in the eyes for what he was about to say. “I agreeI just want to start off by saying that you don’t know how hard these past few months have been for me. Losing you was one of the hardest things for me. I didn’t know how to cope. My friends tried to help me, but i pushed them away. Everythin’ everyday made me think of you and i was completely consumed with the idea that you were gone for good. I was obsessed with the thought of why we ended things the way we did and I felt like i couldn’t protect you as much as I’d like which drove me even more crazy. I lashed out on anyone that we’d get in fights with-exceeding my limits and going over board because i wanted to make sure people like them never got a hold of you. There’s so much more but i-“

You cut him off with a kiss and your eyes were filled with tears. You had the most intense feeling of regret and sorrow for him and also the mourning of your relationship. You wanted him back. You needed him just as much as he needed you. You wanted to make things right. He rested his hands on either side of your waist and you kissed you back-matching your passion.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” You pulled away from the kiss wiping your tears.

“It’s fine. missed you, y’ know?”

“I can’t ever lose you again. I knew we’d come back tho.” You managed to smile and even let out a giggle while saying.

[devourable]

☹ the alt kids

sfw | tags : poly!nb!yans x gn reader (only prn used for reader is ‘you’), obsessive thoughts, slight manipulation, mentions of drinking

listen,,, i know melchior / nb demon yan beat these three in the poll but im itching to write about them. this goes out to my friend who wants to get piped by faust + lolita anon. love yall mmmmwah

also for reference, faust is they/he, delta is they/them, and anton is he/she/they !

please rb to support me 🫶

the alt kids were notorious for seeking out club newbies to play with. it was just something they did.

there was just something so adorable about the way someone totally out of their element dipping their toes into their scene! and the three had made it clear that fresh meat was off limits to anyone but them.

it was a simple cycle — someone new would enter the club, they'd swoop in and show them a good time, take them home at the end of the night if they're lucky, and repeat.

they thought it'd be no different when you came along, but...

oh, how wrong they were.

see, faust could practically feel the inexperience dripping off of you the moment you entered the nightclub.

all on your own, your eyes wide as you took in the flashing lights and loud music, the way you cautiously stepped around the sea of dancing bodies in attempt to find some place you could fit in comfortably? definitely another cute little freshie that'd soon join their ranks.

but faust didn't account for the zip of heat that ran through his body when you and him locked eyes from across the club. he didn't expect the unfamiliar feeling of his heart racing, a feeling only comparable to how he felt when he saw his partners — but why was it so much stronger? and when you offered up a shy little smile and averted your gaze, it damn near knocked him back.

who were you?

they had no clue, but they knew one thing. they needed to leave this club with you at the end of the night.

so faust all but ran to your side, appearing by you before you had even noticed their approach. god, you were even cuter up close... the way you looked up at them made their heart want to leap from their chest!

but they kept their cool. faust introduced themself, commenting on how they noticed you from across the bar and how they couldn't just let a sightly little thing like you venture around all on your own. the club could be so intimidating for newcomers — dangerous, even! but you didn't have a thing to worry about with them by your side.

they loved how demure you were, how you held your heating face when he complimented you, how you tried to wave off their advances but seemed to enjoy it just a bit too much to wave them off. were you intimidated by them? or… did you like them back? they wish they knew!

so you joined them, and accompanied them to the bar.

it was there you met one of their partners — a startlingly tall, reserved goth. you saw him well before you even got to the bar! between the major size difference, her icy gaze, and seemingly disinterested demeanor, it was safe to say you were intimidated. so you were incredibly surprised when faust strutted right up to them, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and waved you over to meet her. and it surprised you even further when they took one of your hands in theirs, pressed a kiss to your knuckles, and introduced themself after studying you silently.

unbeknownst to you and faust, anton was feeling that same intense fire in his chest that faust got when they first looked at you. he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over your attire as you gave your name in turn.

you were so small compared to him. as was most other people, but… it was strangely endearing when he looked down at you. it’d be so easy to just scoop you up, wouldn’t it? and you wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it. he kept those thoughts to himself, but they flickered across his mind every time you came enough for him to take in the difference in your sizes.

the pair bought you drinks, got you a nice seat and showered you in attention. chatting you up, complimenting you, practically treating you like you were part of their polycule already. though they never mentioned it, faust and anton knew they had the same feelings towards you. the intense desire to just… have you. and not just for the night, either. you were so much more than all of their previous flings.

then delta came along. petite, sly delta who liked to play coy when it came to those they were interested in. they had pretended to be too busy dancing the entire time before joining their partners and you at the bar, but they were watching. and after witnessing how their boyfriends were all over you for so long, they had to join in. what were you doing to them?

they walked up to the three of you, pointedly looked you up and down, and… they understood in an instant. man, you were a looker! and even sweeter than the usual folk the three would usually play around with. they easily invited themself to the conversation, taking a seat right on faust’s lap and stuck up a chat with you as if they had been there the entire time.

they loved how flustered you were, so overwhelmed by all the attention the three were now pouring onto you. and despite your overstimulation, you were trying so hard to talk to them all anyway. you clearly had no clue what to do, poor thing… they had no choice but to take the lead for you!

“wanna dance? ..no? that’s fine~ let’s get another drink!”

“it’s so loud in here. let’s go somewhere quieter, yeah? i wanna hear that pretty voice more clearly.”

“aww, you wanna leave? you can sober up at our place! it’d be dumb if you got a ticket you could’a avoided.”

“you’ll stay the night with us, won’t you, darling? we’d hate for you to leave us so soon.”

[denial-permanente]

Hi there,

I’ve been a follower of your for quite a while and have to say I admire the dynamic you and Tom share, and the strength and closeness that your base relationship reflects.

I send this seeking your opinion, and I apologize if you’ve already answered this before.

I find myself in a precarious situation where I have, slowly, yet steadily and surely, become interested in chastity. For me, and I say this with as much honesty as one can, my interest in this isn’t fetishized as is more Domme focused. As in, I do not find myself interested in the idea because it gets me all hot and bothered (despite the fact that it does), but is more my desire to offer my Domme something I know I have not fully internalized and am fully comfortable with. Its beyond my comfort zone but that is where growth and magic take place. I will want yo say that my apprehension or anxiety are not because I don’t want to be thrown/throw myself into the deep end, but a nervousness about the realities and challenges of how it will play out if that makes sense? It’s sort of a ‘careful what you wish for’ kind of situation.

I am currently seeing a very special woman who is very much on the dominant side of things and we’ve talked about some aspects that our dynamic would involve. We have discussed orgasm control, and she has made it clear to me that this is an expectation she has of me, but chastity is yet to be discussed.

We have been nurturing a very beautiful connection in our relationship, but the thought of her potentially wanting me in chastity and wanting to wear my key on her neck for the world to see (even if fee pick up on it) makes me a little nervous. I feel like that would break me as a submissive, it would make me realize my place infinitely more deeply and would bring me into a state of submission that is beyond what Im used to or know what to expect from.

So I guess my question is: why do you think Im feeling this way and do you think I should override this nervous and just surrender to that desire of hers (as it comes up) fully? I know these are questions only I could answer but I appreciate your experience and take on this greatly.

Thank you in advance :)

Like a lot of men, you may be way overthinking all this. You're seeing a domme, you have chemistry, and things are going well. And instead of just enjoying all this you are worried that things will go... too well? 🙄

First of all, she may not even want to wear one of those ugly keys. I'm sorry... I know a lot of you men get all hot and bothered but we are not 14 years old here. Those keys are ugly and no woman wants to wear one especially if they are dressed up.

Second, she wants to control your orgasms. That is perfectly acceptable with or without a cage. By asking... demanding that she take control of your orgasms she makes sure that your desire is focused on her and not on your penis. I told my husband many years ago that I wanted all of the control over that and even in times when he was not caged he took that very seriously. To me it represented a huge commitment... and women love to see commitment from men.

I guess what I'm saying is to forget about the cage. That is... the cage is not to prevent orgasms, it is to prevent accidents and temptation... both yours and hers.

🔒Tom here. This is a point that gets overlooked a lot: cages do not prevent orgasms, they simply make them inconvenient. Long before my permanently locked status, I considered it a personal challenge to refrain from unauthorized orgasms. Once, my wife had me going for over 15 very difficult months, no cage. And it's true - women love their men to show commitment.

I also think that you're overthinking this. Orgasm control is a step, wearing a cage for her is another step. I understand that guys can have mixed emotions of love/hate/fear over orgasm control/denial, but instead of approaching it as something taken away from you, try looking at it as a sacrifice you are making for her.

[hanniejji]

mr. perfectly fine ft. mikage reo

[ anada one, im obviously fucking obsessed and this sone has been on fucking loop have mercy on thy person; i obviously don't proofread who tf do u think i am | 584 | brainrot]

reo's such a "mr. perfectly fine" by ts but at the same time he's also not??? because??? have you seen him lose his shit because of nagi??? he can't possibly be fine after losing you.

sure, he can pretend he's fine for a few days. he'll go through his day pretending that you're not literally a few feets away from him in the same fucking room. that he doesn't sneak stolen glances at your figure, a knowing look in his eyes when he notices the way you slump against your desk, deep dark circles around your eyes and obviously poking at the food in your bento—his heart hurts, knowing it's because of him, but he can't break the act up. he can pretend that he doesn't feel your eyes staring at his back whenever he stood a few feets away in front of you, or when you watch their matches within the audience seats rather than the vip front row seats like you used to—following his figure run across the field with concern whenever something heats up between him and the players from the opposing team. he can pretend he doesn't secretly love the way your eyes scrunches in concern whenever the opposing team starts to get a little physical with him. he can act like he's not exhausted and disgusted at the girls crowding him at school, wishing it was your hands that was pulling him along the hallways and your voice calling out his name.

he can pretend that he's fine.... for the first few weeks.

he can't stop himself from looking thru your socials, wondering if you'll find someone better, because somehow he's always not enough. he can't stop himself from slipping in your favorite drink from the vending machine in your bag or your comfort snack on your desk whenever he sees you disheveled in the morning—he just knows that you stayed up doing homework. he can't stop himself from searching for you in the cafeteria or, well, anywhere really. he's subconsciously seeking out your presence that when he does find you, his feet automatically brings him closer to your figure until he catches himself, immediately turning the other way and ignoring the screaming voice at the back of his head to turn around and be with you. he can't stop himself from wanting to go where you go, suddenly finding himself at the same spot where the two of you used to hang out.

he can't stop himself from wanting to finally tell you that he's not fine. that he's terribly sorry, that he's miserable without you—he's going crazy because he oh so love you so fucking much, why did he even gave you a chance to slip away in the first place? he can't help the tears from pouring down his cheeks as he pours his heart out to you, begging for someone above, and especially you, to give him another chance to prove himself. please take him back, he only feels at home with you, he doesn't know what and how he'll be without you. he needs you, he wants you, he has to have you back because god help this man if he can't. he doesn't try to stop himself from hugging you close when let him, doesn't resist the urge to press kisses on your cheeks and whisper his sorry's and i love you's in your ear.

he's can't be perfectly fine without you, and won't be until he has you back in his arms.

[dreamchasernina]

"I don't want to engage in ship wars"

"I can't defend my ship without being ATTACKED"

I wonder why you keep getting grief🤔

I'm sorry I don't want to be rude, but what the hell did you think would happen? You're clearly responding to criticism of your ship, and there's nothing wrong with that. But everyone else also has the right to a) respond to your arguments and b) call your points stupid. You're literally engaging with the ship war by arguing against criticism of your ship. You have to be able to see that

How is me responding to criticism of my ship - engaging in ship wars? I don’t mention another ship anywhere in my post. ANYWHERE. So like…anytime I talk about Kataang where I disagree with a popular opinion against my ship, it means I’m engaging in ship wars? Am I like…not allowed to address the common hate? After seeing 10 posts saying “Aang is an abuser” am I not allow to post to my own blog and say “actually, I don’t think Aang’s an abuser” and then not expect to be attacked for it?

I go into Kataang tag and see 10 anti Kataang posts a day. So if I want to share 2 pro Kataangs a day, without hating anyone else, that means I’m engaging in ship wars? I’m not addressing anyone in particular, just addressing the main points brought up against Kataang.

Seriously, genuinely, anon. Put another ask in my inbox and tell me where am I engaging in ship wars when ALL IM DOING is talking about MY SHIP and not even mentioning another ship, not in the posts and not in the tags. Those posts are meant for the people who are actively seeking content on that particular ship.

You’re saying the fact that I defend my ship against terrible takes without involving anyone directly, means I should expect to get hate? Does that sound okay to you?

If I see points defending another ship, I would NEVER go into their post to say, hey, actually that’s dumb. Why on earth would anyone do that? And you’re defending it for what??

Why am I, as an active atla fan and shipper, not allowed to share my thoughts on my ship without getting attacked?? Like seriously. Answer that question. All of my posts are positive. Nothing negative.

And I agree, anyone has a right to respond and disagree, but that’s not what’s happening. 2 of ZK shippers attacked, literally attacked my points, made fun of them, called me a “pest” and automatically blocked me without giving me a chance to respond. If you’re gonna block me, why respond in the first place? And I’m the bad guy in all of this? Because I dared to talk about my ship?

Like I truly don’t know how you guys don’t see how delusional you sound! I’m not the one going into ZK shippers blogs, looking for a post I disagree with and then shame them for having those opinions. I beg you to look inside your shippers behavior for once and ask yourselves, why are ZK shippers being labeled the worst part of ATLA fandom. By everyone. Maybe because of behavior like this?

[f1oricide]

We all have cravings

Yan! Mikey x reader

This is kinda like a part two for the Yan Mikey hc I made. Also just know this is strictly fiction, I do NOT support this Irl if you do please seek help. This is my contribution to horrortober ig. I did not proof read this at all so I hope u enjoy my brain rot.

Tw: build up, poor writing, blood, kidnapping, yandere themes, cannibalistic themes, anxiety, panic attacks, nonconsensual touching (nonsexual), overall bad time for y/n

I hate my job. Customer service is bitch in a half, I swear to god customer service employees are doing gods work. I can’t even wipe tables in piece without some lady yelling at me about how her frappe has too much ice like it’s a global issue. What’s worse is how I spend 8 hours of my life for this, I need a better job.

Walking down the slightly empty streets of New York, my body aching for my beloved bed. I look at the shops as I walk by, absorbing all the trinkets and doodads inside. One place though, stopped me in my tracks, a quaint little bakery near by an alleyway. the inside had a golden glow to it, it was almost unreal, beautiful, and the smell was amazing.

so as any normal young adult would do, I walk in, not knowing what I want to buy. I instantly feel regret setting inside my stomach, why did I walk in? Oh god I can’t just leave without buying anything, maybe they didn’t noticed I walked in? Looking around right as that thought sped through my mind, I made eye contact with the baker, they greeted me, but god of course they saw me.

Well due to social obligation, I HAVE to buy something. Panic started to rise as I still have no idea what to buy, knowing the baker isn’t even rushing me, the panic is still there. Just as I thought all hope was lost, I felt another pair of eyes on me. Turning I see a man in a trench coat and fedora, staring at me through the glass like I’m one of the wonders of the world. Weirdo. We make eye context for a second before he snaps out of it, and stumbles inside.

Thank god, an out I thought as the man walked closer to the counter. “You can order first if you’d like, Im still deciding.” We made eye contact again, despite the added difficulty the fedora he was wearing made. “Wow, thanks stranger! You know this place has some delicious raspberry sweet rolls! I totally recommend them if you haven’t tried any!” Sweet rolls? As a recommendation? This dude just keeps getting weirder and weirder, but considering I don’t know what else to get, I might as well try it, what’s the harm? “Hmm that does sound tempting, maybe I will” making sure to add a smile after, the man seems to beam at my remark. “Trust me, they are AMAZING especially with some chamomile tea and vanilla scones”

Pfft- What are you? A rich old white British lady? “Pfft hahahah! Good one, it really does sound like I am huh?” He continues to laugh even harder as the “joke” sets in as I stare in shock and horror. Did I really just say that out loud? “My names Mikey, what’s yours stranger?” He says while wiping a tear from his eye. “Oh uhm- y/n” were doing introductions now I guess. “Well y/n it’s nice to meet you” holding his hand out, I didn’t fail to notice the green skin and the three fingers outstretched towards me.

Oh my god, what the hell?! An excuse, think of an excuse. “We should probably order, don’t wanna hold up the line” good one me. He looks behind us and I follow suit; low and behold, no one else of course. He chuckles before turning back to me and says, “I guess you have a point”. Retracting his hand he turns to the cashier and places his order. The cashier told him that he’s gonna have to wait for 20 minutes for it to be ready, Mikey nods and turns to me before asking the cashier for those raspberry sweet rolls. Oh god-

“Oh can you make those separate?” I sputter before Mikey quickly answers, “I insist, I don’t want you to waste your money if you don’t like it!” Convincing argument plus free food? You win this round “Mikey”.

After paying Mikey and I go to sit down at a nearby booth. Maybe I have him pegged wrong my mind started rationalizing. Maybe it’s a medical condition? We sat for a good minute in silence as I’m overthinking per usual. “So, what do plan to do with a whole loaf of zope bread?” I say to avoid the loud thoughts buzzing through my head. “Oh! Well I was planning on making it myself but I might as well try this places zone, I’m planning on pairing it with some-“ before he can continue, the cashier called out the raspberry sweet rolls to catch out attention.

I got the rolls and walked back to the booth. “Well, here’s my order”

…

“So…see ya…”

Before I could even take a step though, Mikey shot up “whaaat?! B-but you didn’t even try it! I want to see if you like it or not!” He stared at me with pleading eyes, like a dog begging it’s human for a treat. Why is he so invested in this? “I didn’t think you’d want to know my feedback..” “well duhhh, I recommend it to you, I just have to know i hit the nail on the head!” Oh… well whatever it takes to leave faster. I grabbed a roll and popped it in my mouth, it was EXPLODING with flavor. I think Mikey could tell with the knowing smirk that spread across his face.

After that we started talking more in the restaurant, I got to know him more. Apparently he has three more brothers, when he made me guess which one he was, it wasn’t hard to tell he’s the youngest. Eventually his order was done, disappointment sent in me because, well, this was actually a pleasant interaction with a not so total stranger. Acquaintance if you will. By the time his order was ready, I already ate all the rolls, so I guess this is it.

“It was nice meeting you, I didn’t really plan staying out this late.” I said as we walked out, the sky nearly dark. “It was reallyyy nice meeting you too, you know…” he stated reaching in his pocket. “If you need any more expert cooking advice, give me a call!”

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That should’ve been it, but noooo, I just HAD to call back, we just HAD to get to know each other more, he just HAD to show me his “secret” identity…I just HAD to fall in love…no..for his tricks

It all started with food, a fucking roll no less. He fed me and like a wild animal I kept coming back. I ignored all the red flags, all my friends concerns, not noticing how they quickly left my life after venting to Mikey about them. I kept coming back for more like a dumb dumb animal.

But now here I am, a small closet with one twin bed and barren walls, no fan or vent. What did I do to deserve this? What avengers level threat did I cause to end up here? There’s barely anything to do besides relive old mistakes and sweat. Dare I say it, I even miss my job and being a useful member of society.

The door finally opened the reveal the devil himself, Mikey. But somethings off…I’ve been here long enough to read Mikey’s face like a book. He looks nervous, like he wants something nervous… fear started to creep within me, what did he want now?

Usually he brings stuff in like crafts or food and water, but this time, it’s just him. Closing the door behind him, he speaks. “Hi my Angel…” a grimace grew on my face. That nickname used to make me swoon, but now it makes me want to throw up. “I have a very important question to ask you”

This was the question that ruined my life…and I thought it couldn’t get any worse… he wanted me…ME. To… just the thought is making me gag- EAT HIM. LITERALLY. The thoughts in my head started swarming me, his justifications and explanations fall on deaf ears as the room swirls around me. He gently grabs my forearms snapping me back, since when did I start crying? I can’t even breath right, I feel like I’m drowning.

“Listen, I know it sounds really really REALLY crazy, but I need you to trust me… you’ll be okay. This will be good for us! We’ll be together all the time isn’t that great?” No, it’s not great, far from it actually. “I won’t force you to do it now of course, take your time, I’ll wait, I’ll always wait for you”

Ever since then, no matter how much I stalled, it was only putting off the inevitable. No matter what I did, it never swayed him. Actually, it did, but not how I would’ve wanted. He started giving me less and less to eat. It started off small with a few less portions, but I never noticed the twitch in his smile whenever I put down his encouragement to chomp on his arm. He started giving less portions and no breakfast anymore, id be lucky if he gave me dinner.

Im hungry, starving even. It hurts, it hurts so so much. He would always come in more often, lifting his arm and encouraging me to bite. “Come on, you can do it baby”. It pisses me off. How dare you kidnap me after I gave you my trust. How dare you put me in a cramped tiny room, having to solely rely on you for everything. HOW DARE YOU force me to break EVERYTHING I thought was RIGHT all while you look at me and TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.

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I hate you. I failed to notice hot tears running down my face. I hate you. I also failed to notice how hard I shook, how my teeth grinding against each other until it hurt. FUCKING I HATE YOU

Red, it’s all I can see. I used laughing when any character in media say they saw red, can you blame me? It sounds so…dumb, but I get it now. I understand, how ironic. Apparently, I could..taste red too…

Snapping back to reality a brick of drowsiness crashes down onto me, I must’ve had some high adrenaline because my jaw started hurting like a bitch. Liquid runs down my jaw, it’s warm..fresh. Why do I feel something on my tongue-

Shock slaps me in the face, my eyes go as wide as saucers, what have I done?? Looking up at Mikey I see the sheer amount of euphoria in his face, his eyes holding so much love, it might spill out. I need this thing out of me, I need HIM out. I gag trying to spit it out but he quickly puts his hand on my mouth. “you can do it, swallow quickly, it’ll all be over, your doing amazing” I don’t even think before swallow the lump down. The worst part about this whole experience was feeling the lump of meat slide down my throat and plop into my stomach. My mouth instantly starts salivating, and I’m forced to question if it’s because of the hunger still in me or the sheer amount of disgust and horror in me trying to throw it up while Mikey whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

Everything is too much. The air is too hot, too heavy, too wet. It feels horrible on my skin. It’s too noisy, to crowded, too much. Mikey only hugs me tight to his chest, his arm still bleeding , all while I lean in considering how it’s the only comfort I’ll get out of this hell hole. “I knew you’d trust me…I love you.. so so sooo much. I’ll never leave your side. We’re bound together as one, isn’t that great?”

All I could do was sob violently, slowly passing out, everything slowly fading to black.