#this is also totally three sentences lol

[wheres-my-pencil]

(read more for a short pseudo-fic?? that i wrote kinda by accident?? it's kinda shit and doesn't have anything about stanley and it's mostly just describing a half baked idea but have it if you want. also this has definitely been done before but whatever)

au where the narrator, unbeknownst to stanley, finds out that he can be physically affectionate in a form that stanley can't see or feel.

after countless careful testing of stanley's reactions to confirm this, he starts to casually sort of. walk side by side to him and brush their hands together.

after a few hundred resets, he's at a point where he constantly holds hands (phases them through each other) with stanley as he yammers on as usual. sometimes he floats around him in circles and studies the folds in his clothes and the way stanley moves, still blabbering about, until, carefully, he leans reeeal close to stanley's face. he takes in every wrinkle and dimple, every reflection across his eyes, and watches the way his character model's hair sways a little as he walks, still pretending to have some sort of strong opinion about whatever he's talking about. once again, he starts to do this regularly.

when stanley happens to look at something that lines up their eyes to seem like eye contact, the narrator gets all freaked out and goes strangely quiet. he makes up some excuse (let's see here.. the next door is .. hmm .. .. (the first time it happened he actually did get them both lost)), and the next few times it happens, he starts rambling faster, trips over his words, and flusters himself in his own monologue.

after another few hundred resets he calms down and gets used to the fake-outs and gradually forgets it was ever even a worry.

during one reset in this peaceful phase, the narrator hugs him from behind, wraps his arms over his shoulders and around his chest, and sighs somewhat like a dog as he rests the underside of his chin on stanley's shoulder.

of course, sighs of yearning and disappointment sound similar enough that this one fit nicely for his current monologue. in fact, he starts getting so caught up with sarcastically praising stanley for staying in the employee lounge for more than two whole minutes, that as he leans into his face, yawning mid-sentence from the pseudo-warmth of stanley's neck and left cheek, he doesn't even notice that stanley has not only stayed in the same room, but hasn't moved an inch for the past five minutes.

worse yet, the narrator only finally realized when he happened to look up admiringly again, and nearly flew across the room at the sheer intensity of stanley's eyes staring dead into his own. he paused his berating. he didn't even have an excuse prepared, and he wouldn't need one, considering how stanley's first movement after the narrator's nearly endless stream of complaining was to turn to look at him where he hovered slightly above the floor, somewhat disheveled and panicked.

that's all i got for now fhdwds

[sigweiner]

⌁₊˚ Shiver ˚₊⌁ {P3}

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!/Gnc!/Reader

Word Count: 10.2k (oopsie)

Summary: You infiltrate a brothel with Jinx and Isha so the three of you can invade a home in Piltover to chill (and you + Jinx can do other hedonistic stuff).

Warnings!: fluff, smut, swearing, mild angst, t06!c relationship, substance use, mentions of dark ses and physical stuff.

a/n: This is the last part of this AU (I think) since I couldn't bother to split it in two, lol. Also English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes, weird punctuation and sentences. Minors and creeps dni. Dividers by me.

{P1} {P2}

Jinx is spreaded out on her orange couch with her head resting on your lap while you play with her braids lazily. She’s telling you stories about her family members as the day stretches in an atypical manner, finding  both of you completely alone since Isha was staying over with Sevika so she could get some proper care as the mature woman actually had a place with functioning amenities, or as functional as it gets at Zaun. 

It came as a surprise to you when Sevika herself offered to take the kid in for a couple of days, mentioning the hideout was “no place for a child to live in”. And she wasn't exactly wrong but the three of you kind of developed some separation anxiety after you and Jinx had your altercation. Though on the bright side you now have a lot more opportunity to hang out with Jinx and, you know, get to know her better inside out (and in an assortment of different positions).

“So your sister has a girlfriend from Piltover…” You start to ask with a grimace.  “And you accidentally killed her mother, who was a councilwoman?” You finish raising an eyebrow.

“Yep, totally accidental.” She replies, playing with an unfinished gadget of hers. You know for a fact that wasn't the whole story but you understand her leaving out a few important details to protect her self image.

“I don't know if I could date a piltie, to be honest.” You say after a beat of self-reflection. “Especially if they were that high up the ranks.” You conclude.

“Yeeeah, Vi has always had a weird taste in women.” The blue haired girl says nonchalantly. “Though I have nothing to say for myself since I'm fooling around with Zaun’s royalty.” She snickers.

“You talking about me? I'm not part of this shithole’s ‘royalty’.” You protest with a scowl on your face.

“Um, yeah you are. Your mother is one of the richest people in this city, you were untouchable until she decided to throw you to the wolves and not to mention you're a total brat.” She lifts a finger with each argument as if stating the obvious. 

“Ugh, you're a brat.” You childishly talk back before flicking your fingers on her ear.

Jinx flips you over on the couch in a swift movement so she is pinning you underneath her, holding your wrists above your head on a tight grip to constrain you. “See what I mean? And so freaking annoying.” She whispers close to your mouth.

“But you like it.” You pout your lips and bat your lashes but when you try to lean in to kiss her she pulls her head back smiling wickedly.

“I don’t know, maybe I need to teach you how to behave…” She releases one of her hands to run her fingers through the side of your face and down your collarbone. You shiver at the feather-like sensation but still manage to put on your best defiant look.

“What are you gonna do? Punish me?” You laugh which seems to piss her off a bit. Jinx almost falls for your trap before her face softens and she brings your arms to wrap around her neck.

“I would never hurt you, toots.” She whispers then lowers herself to pepper your face with kisses. You chuckle but your eyes can’t help but flutter at the tenderness of the moment.

“What if I’m into it?” You ask quietly while closing your eyes to better feel her soft lips on your skin.

“Are you?” You hear her retort back and you have to think for a moment before answering.

“I guess not currently… but I can eventually… if you’re into it too.” You open your eyes to stare into her pink spinel ones. She brushes a piece of hair away from your face and kisses your lips gently.

“Let’s not rush then, yeah?” She replies after pulling back. You can only assent your consent in the face of her affability.

This turns into a 10 minute makeout session, where she has you pinned down underneath her while kissing you senseless. The blue haired girl’s new favourite pastime was getting up close and intimate with you, so you’ve noticed. She once even said that you were just too soft and warm not to touch which you find absolutely endearing. However, you are getting self conscious about where this will eventually lead since Jinx also really enjoys taking control of your bodily senses. 

After Sevika walked in on you two having make up sex, you have been sneaking away every night to get some action after Isha falls asleep but it has been in uncomfortable places and you haven’t really let her get past second base with you. But now here you are all alone with a very charming and handsy Jinx pulling all her moves on you, making your body react in the most savoury ways possible. You wish this nagging feeling in the back of your mind would go away so you can receive all the love she can give you.

“Wait!” The request slips past your burning lips. The unconscious fear tries to take over your mind so you have to ask her to stop.

“What's wrong, toots?” She lifts her head up from your neck and studies you with a concerned look on her face. Her hands are so balmy on your body you could tilt over.

“I- maybe we should… slow down?” The uncertainty in your voice shines a light on your insecurities.

“Why? You don't like it? Did I hurt you?” Jinx scans between you and her looking for evidence of wrongdoings.

“No, I… really liked what you were doing.” You smile shyly and her eyes soften.

“Then what's the matter?” She looks small and you start to regret saying anything in the first place.

“It's just that I don't think I'm ready… to go any further than this I mean.” A look of realisation emerges on her face, granted she was snuggled comfortably between your legs, her bare stomach lined up with your center. She sits up next to you to give you some space.

“Oh, okay. I wasn't really trying to do anything like that… I mean I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to.” She tries to explain herself. Jinx hugs her middle, suddenly seeming uncharacteristically self conscious.

“I know, I know.” You tell her softly when you sit up too. “I just wanted to let you know that even though I really enjoy being this close to you, it still makes me anxious… being touched by someone else.” It's your turn to recoil onto yourself. You pull your legs to your chest and rest your cheek on one knee.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Her eyes sadden when she looks at you.

Although nothing really bad happened to you on your last escorting job, it could have if you hadn’t been able to defend yourself properly, but the other guy was the one left pretty gravely injured, shit you’re not even sure he actually survived. Not that you care if he did but the truth is you haven’t really been able to process what happened and it’s been eating at your unconscious. Also, you're not certain if you want Jinx to know about it since she'll probably try and go after the guy. But damn, you want to trust her so badly and last time you ran away from vulnerability you almost lost everything.

“I- don't want you to worry about my stuff too, y’know?” You start saying before taking a deep breath. “But since you're asking and being so nice about it… I can try to explain why I'm so… insecure about this.” You manage to finish saying before she reaches out to touch your hand.

“Your problems are my problems, toots, there's no turning back now.” She says half jokingly then interlaces her fingers with yours.

“Heh, lucky me.” You shake your head trying to hide a bashful smile. “Fine, but you have to promise me not to go do anything reckless because of what I tell you.” Your expression changes to a warning.

“Fiiiineh.” She rolls her eyes but gives you a sideway smirk.

“Okay, well I was a um - an escort at the Rapturewalk, y’know my mother’s layer of doom and um - one day I got a job to do just that with a really rich topside dude and eerrr - I had to use self defense to set some boundaries but I guess I got carried away slightly and he might not even be alive anymore.” You manage to stammer out your story.

“He tried to hurt you?” She asks with a serious expression on her face. You chuckle, shaking your head.

“He had no chance, princess. I didn't even give him an opening. But… he might have hurt other people…” You try to reassure her and lighten up the mood but you're very much aware of how serious this was.

“I should make sure he's dead for what he tried to do with you.” She has a manic look on her face which usually was not a good sign.

“Don't bother, he already got what he deserves. I made sure of  that.” You reach out to touch her arm and she relinquishes. “He'll never hurt anyone else ever again.” You say with a dark look on your face.

“Still… If I ever bump into him sometime, it's over for him. For good.” She takes your hand and kisses it tenderly and you stroke her cheek in turn.

“My hero.” You say somewhat jokingly but deep down you believe just that.

“Yeah, yeah… well if anyone other than me ever touches you ever again I won't hesitate to pow-pow them.” She mimics a gun with her fingers, aiming at an imaginary target.

“Okaaay… let's not get carried away by unnecessary vengeance attempts, yeah? And hey, if you're a really good girl for me and behave I might even let you in my pants, what do you say?” You whisper the last part close to her face, making her huff and pull you to straddle her lap, hands moving on your thighs instantly.

“I don't know, trinket, I've never been good at behaving.” She says raking her hands up till her fingers find your hips as you cradle her face in your hands and close the gap between you. Jinx moans when you capture her bottom lip between your teeth.

“Well then… you're just gonna have to imagine what it feels like to have me tightening around your fingers.” You whisper in her ear and the poor girl can't help but whimper as she tightens her grip on you.

“Fuck, you're so mean.” She pouts and you kiss it off her lips, twirling your tongues around each other, keeping up until you both need to catch a breath. The blue haired girl starts turning her attention to your neck and you cradle the back of her head, ranking the tip of your fingers on her scalp carefully so as not to mess up her braids. Jinx downright turns to mush, burying her face on the crook of your neck.

“Oh look, an off switch.” You chuckle and she lets out a protesting whine but doesn't move. You stay like this for a bit until you hear her voice again.

“Did you like it? Escorting I mean.” She asks quietly without looking at you.

“Mostly, to be honest. But there were days I just went through it. And even though it was expected of me to do so, I found a way to enjoy it.” You answer earnestly. “Why? You thinking of changing professions?” You ask jocosely. She snorts and finally lifts her head to look at you with a dopey grin on her lips.

“Only if you're my sole client.” She winks at you before capturing your lips between hers once again.

“Uuuuugh, I'm soooo booooored!” Jinx has just walked up to where you're cleaning your blades inside her dirty tub, to slide inside it and sit opposite you with her legs dangling over the edges.

“Wanna have sex?” You ask nonchalantly. It's only the second day you two have been away from Isha and the other girl is already running out of things to entertain herself.

“Sure.” She retorts in the same tone. “But I wanted to… I don't know, blow something up or go on an adventure, see the world a little bit.” She digresses. You hum, trying to think of anything interesting you could do.

“You know what I've been dying for? A really big comfortable bed and a stupidly hot shower.” You say as you skillfully flip a knife around your fingers. Jinx’s eyes grow wide as she seemingly has an epiphany.

“Holy shit, Trinket. I think the old biddy might know someone who may have what you want.” She blurts out. “I mean, it certainly isn't the same as blowing shit up but I think it will do.” She says seemingly making a decision.

“And how would Sevika know someone like that?” You ask unamused. She waves you off and stands up to go grab her cloak.

“Be back soon. Don't you dare go anywhere, toots.” She says pointing a finger at you but before you can ask where she's going she's already out the exit.

After a couple of hours had passed, Jinx returns with a very annoyed looking Sevika  who has the kid propped on one of her shoulders. You stand up to greet them and the little girl is put down so you can run towards each other and embrace tightly. Oh how you've missed her and you tell her so; sure being alone with Jinx was definitely fun, to say the least, but without Isha something always seemed to be missing. The older woman only greets you with a nod and an unintelligible grunt, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else but here.

“We've got a job for you, Trinket.” Jinx announces putting her hands on her hips. You let go of Isha to give her a confused look.

“What are you on about now?” You ask, entirely uninterested in any kind of work.

“There's a man from Piltover who frequents Babette’s place and he has real estate knowledge, like where completely furnished and recently renovated houses lay devoid of people.” Sevika explains in a monotone as Jinx’s grin grows wider and wider.

“Yeah, and since you've got experience in that line of work, y’know at ‘fun’ houses, you're gonna get this information for us.” Jinx adds to the conversation.

“Hell no! I'm not gonna go back to that just for a home invasion.” You protest.

“You're not gonna do anything really with the guy, you just have to chat him up until you get what we need and then you can bolt.” Jinx tries to convince you.

“Well then why don't you do it?” You ask her angrily. She rolls her eyes at you, losing her patience.

“Because someone would probably recognise me and I'd definitely end up shooting the guy!” She exclaims in an aggravated way then sighs. “Look, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I'll be behind the walls watching and if he tries something I'll take him down.” She makes a good case but you're still unsure about all of it.

“I've heard about your reputation, Shiv, from when you worked for your mother at her freak house and if any of it was true, then you are the best candidate for this job.” Sevika weighs in with a raised eyebrow.

“My reputation? What in the world - you know what? I don't even wanna know.” You start saying before shifting focus. “Ugh, fine but you owe me big time for this.” You point your finger at Jinx before crossing your arms on your chest.

“I can definitely make it up to you afterwards.” She says with a dirty grin on her face, making your cheeks burn.

“You two are disgusting and I'm leaving now.” Sevika says already turning around. “Jinx will fill you in on more details and kid, take care of these two idiots.” She addresses Isha over her shoulder before exiting.

The child pulls at your hand to get your attention and you crouch down to talk to her on her level. “Did you have fun with Sevika?” You ask her while stroking one of her small braids gently. She nods but diverts the subject by gesturing that she wants to help with your plan.

“No, listen kid. That place is no good for you to be anywhere near it. You've gotta sit this one down.” You tell her patiently but Isha insists she can handle it and that it won't be a problem for her. 

“Hmmm, I think we can put her to use.” Jinx says, ruffling the child’s hair and when you start to protest she interrupts you. “Don't worry, trinket I'll make sure to shield her from any evil.” She gives you a sideways smirk and turns to walk towards her workstation, leaving you frustrated.

It's the evening of the day of your little heist and you're getting ready inside Jinx’s tent to infiltrate Babette’s brothel in a couple of hours. You fix your face with make-up, even though most of it will be covered by a mask, and change from your all black attire to a pastel coloured lingerie set you had to steal from a local shop. You haven't looked like this in almost a year now and you think the person staring back in a thin broken mirror next to the couch couldn't look less like yourself. 

You find the underwear way too revealing around the bottom, since the tiny v-string scarcely cups your sex and the corset it came with barely covers your torso, making you realise you have definitely loosen touch with the trade. But overthinking this doesn’t help at all so you fix your thigh high socks, attaching them to a matching garter belt before you peek your head out the tent to call after Jinx.

“Hey, can you give me a hand?” You sort of whisper, trying not to bring Isha’s attention towards you. The kid seemed to be very distracted with a gadget at the workstation and the other girl was sitting on the edge of the same propeller you’re on.

“With wha-” Jinx chokes on her own saliva when she gets inside the tent with you. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?!” She exclaims before covering her agape mouth with one hand.

“Calm down, I need help with this corset.” You say trying to cover your chest and lower half with your hands. “Ugh, stop being a horny freak and tie it up for me.” You reprimand her but she's already running her hungry eyes all over your body, making you fluster.

“I'd rather help you take it off.” She replies cheesily, and tries to pull your hands away so she can take a better look at you but you swat them away.

“Stop it! We've got no time for this, princess. Later okay?” You try to distract her with an empty promise and she pouts dramatically. You lean in to give her a quick kiss and she chases after your mouth when you pull away.

“You're being really mean to me lately…” She whines but lays her hand on your waist to turn you around so she can start working.

“It's not on purpose, I promis- ah!” You gasp as she pulls at a loop suddenly.

“Too tight?” She pauses and kisses the back of your shoulder sweetly.

“No, that's good. Keep going.” You manage to say after you steady your breathing. She pulls back and starts working again.

“Y’know, I've gotta say… this color makes your ass look soooo edible.” She snickers and you can't help but chuckle at her silliness.

“The color huh? Bet my client will think the same.” You provoke her so she retaliates by snaking an arm around your stomach to pull your butt against her crotch while her other hand secures the unfinished laces of your corset.

“I'll kill him if he even thinks about touching you.” She rocks her hips forward and then nibbles at your shoulder lightly. Gods, your panties are going to get ruined before you even get there.

“C’mon, princess. I promise I'll make it up to you if you behave.” You try to appease her now. “And the kid’s gonna get suspicious of what we’re doing back here.” You really don’t want Isha to see you like this, it’s bad enough she’ll be tagging along.

“Ugh, you’re no fun.” She huffs but relinquishes and pulls back to resume working on your corset.

After what seems to be an eternity for you, the time comes to leave and start your operation but you realise your nerves are getting the better of you when your palms start to clam up. You make Jinx promise you she won’t let Isha see or hear anything that goes on in that place and that the child will come out unharmed and free of any trauma that relates to the situation. Although she rolled her eyes at you and gave you a dismissive shrug, you caught her having a talk with Isha where she handed the kid a pair of noise canceling ear plugs, which doesn't solve anything but it’s better than nothing.

The three of you head out to Babette’s and you have to activate your professional persona mode, otherwise you’re not going to get through this entirely sane. You kind of wish you had taken a shot of something just to take the edge off but you got rid of all the bottles of liquor in the hideout since they were becoming a bit of an issue and you once caught a curious Isha taking a sip out of a bottle of rum that was lying around. And even though Jinx believes the small girl can handle anything, you feel obligated to shield her from all the world’s evils. Is it possible to do so? Probably not, but you’re surely going to try.

The back of the establishment is located in a dirty alleyway and there’s a very burly security guard by the door that holds a sign which indicates this was an employee only entrance. Jinx and Isha  take a different path where there’s a loose piece of wood on the wall and they disappear inside as you wonder how the hell the older girl knows about this secret entrance. But now it’s your turn to put on a bunny mask before you approach the security guard. You hand him a paper that Sevika got you, containing a written referral from another brothel that supposedly had a good reputation, and he grunts before opening the door for you.

The air is thick with hookah smoke and a strong rose oil smell that makes your eyes water a bit but you push past the uncomfortable feeling to knock on Babette’s office door. She orders you to enter and the first thing you see is a mature yordle woman sitting behind a wooden desk, scribbling away on a large open book. She doesn’t acknowledge you at first, choosing to finish what she was doing before getting a good look at you and when she does it is only to size you up with a raised eyebrow. You step forward to hand her your recommendation letter and she takes it without saying a word.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you madam.” You greet her, altering your voice to sound sweeter. “It’ll be an honor to work for you if you’ll have me.” You sound alien to yourself but it’s part of the job.

“Let me take a look at the merch, darling.” She waves her slender fingers at you for you to come closer. You unlace the ribbon of your coat, slowly shrugging it off your shoulders and you can see her gaze lingering on the implants scattered all over your body. You bite at your lower lip trying not to demonstrate how being this exposed really makes you feel.

“What are those implants for?” She asks after a minute then gestures for you to turn around.

“I had a few health issues and these saved my life, long story short.” You tell her in the most honest way you can.

“Hmmm, that might be a turn off for some people but I believe you can make me some good money.” She says finally and goes back to her book. “Get to work, honey.” And with a wave of her hand you’re sent away.

Now that you've successfully infiltrated the place, you just need to find where ‘Real Estate Guy’ is and extract the information, quick and easy, no need for unnecessary touching and undressing, or so you hope. You walk through a long dimly lit corridor where there are several entrances to different themed rooms and sounds of people being pleasured fills your ears, bringing you back to a time you thought you never would have to come back to. You take a deep steadying breath and focus on the task ahead.

You find a room decorated with a pastel floral theme where some incense is burning an aphrodisiac flower scent and a sultry beat is playing in the background. You see a frail man dressed in a beige suit that very much looks like it was tailored at Piltover, sitting on the edge of a loveseat at the corner of the room. You make your entrance, taking off your coat and flipping on the ‘occupied’ sign. He looks up when he notices you and a frown appears between his eyebrows.

“Oh, good evening. Y-you’re not my regular.” He seems insecure, wiping a drop of sweat that runs down his temple.

“I'm so sorry sir but the usual girl has called in sick. Don't you worry though, I'm here to help you relax.” You tell him in your best seductive voice while you saunter over to where he's sitting.

“Oh that's a pity, I hope she's okay. But I'm sure you're great too.” He laughs awkwardly and wrings his hands on his lap, glancing over at you when you sit next to him but then looks away nervously as you cross your legs.

“You don't need to be nervous, pretty boy. I don't bite. Well, not unless you want me to.” You chuckle lightly and he mirrors you.

“That's okay, maybe when we get to know each other better…” He trails off and you thank the universe for giving you the easiest job ever. “Is that alright with you? If we get to know each other first, I mean.” He still doesn't look at you when he speaks and you take the opportunity to scan the room. 

There's a side table next to the loveseat with an assortment of dildos and butt plugs in different colors and shapes and a bar cart at another corner with a couple of glasses and three different types of alcohol. You think you might have to loosen him up a bit to make him talk but not enough for him to feel comfortable to make a pass at you. You get up suddenly to prepare a couple of drinks.

“Of course! Anything you want, handsome. My mouth is a bit dry though, I need a drink. Will you join me?” You ask, already pouring two glasses of whisky and adding some ice.

“Errr, yeah sure. Why not? I um… I'm not very good at first encounters.” He rubs the back of his neck before accepting the drink you hand him.

“You don't have to be good at anything, darling. Just be yourself. But just so you know, I'm already hooked.” You say to the most boring man you've ever met. You hear a giggle all of a sudden, coming from the back wall and you wonder if Jinx has been listening to your conversation.

“Oh, really? I usually don't get that… women rarely take an interest in me.” He says shyly and gee you wonder why, but again your opinion is kind of biased since you’re not very interested in men.

“Well that's absurd. You know, some people just don't know what's good for them, am I right?” You proceed to butter him up and soon enough he's talking about his very boring life as a real estate agent and how the market is doing in numbers and a bunch of tedious micro subjects you couldn't care less about.

After a while, you think you might’ve expressed your gratitude to the divine too soon. You haven't taken a sip of your drink yet and you don't plan to but he's just so monotonous you're afraid you'll fall asleep right in front of him. You try your best to seem invested in what he's saying but he's like a chamomile tea inducing your eyes to feel heavy and slip into dreamland. You look around the room trying to find something to get out of this situation which is taking too long already and your eyes land on his suitcase which has a set of keys hanging on it.

“You must know a lot of incredible houses in Piltover, don't you?” You ask when you find an opportunity in the conversation.

“Oh yeah, you have no idea! The last one I hosted an open house for was the best one in my opinion.” Then he proceeds to list all of its great features and then tells you the exact location of the property. 

“Wow, that sounds amazing. Can I ask you… have you ever taken anyone back there while, y’know, they're vacant?” You know this question is borderline suspicious but you're also sure this will go over his tiny brain.

“No… I-I couldn't. Besides, I don't have anyone to do anything like that with.” He stammers through his answer and you fake a sweet smile.

“Well I would go, if you’d invite me. I'm sure we could have a lot of fun together all around it.” You take a chance and slide your fingers on the lapels of his suit which makes him tense up a bit but he doesn't reject you.

“R-really? I um- don't know… we could get caught…” He starts sweating again and you giggle while rubbing one of your calves on the pantsuit of his leg.

“That's the fun part, silly.” You say as you get closer to him. He runs his eyes over your entire body, probably imagining all the ‘fun’ he could have with you in a luxurious house. “Do you have the keys to the place right now with you?” You bat your lashes at him and he seems hypnotised for a moment.

“I-I-I, yes I do. What are you thinking?” He lays one hand on your knee and glances at his suitcase.

“We should go there right now, what do you think?” You suggest as you put your fingers on his jaw to make him look at you. Behind you two, you see a piece of the wall move silently as a very sneaky Isha appears inside the room, shielding her view of you with her helmet.

“You're so beautiful… can't we have fun here?” He tells you with cheeks flushed. Damn, too comfortable but you need a distraction fast otherwise he's going to notice the little thief. You suddenly straddle his hips and grab the back of his head to bury it in your cleavage, making him gasp.

“Tell me what you want to do with me, naughty boy.” You tilt your head sideways to see if the kid already managed to swipe his keys and she is almost there. He lays his hands on your back as you wiggle your body on his lap comically.

“I want - I want to kiss your plump lips and make love to you until our bodies fuse into one!” Oh, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? You fake an obscene moan as you roll your eyes at his ridiculous fantasy.

“Please take me handsome and make sweet love to me.” You have to try hard not to laugh but you're a professional after all, or at least used to be. He then grabs your ass suddenly, which makes you feel a burning fire of anger inside you but before you can react you hear a loud thud and he goes limp.

Jinx is now standing next to you, resting her gun on one shoulder with an angry scowl on her face. You move the man away from yourself to lay his unconscious head on the back of the seat then you stand up and look back you realise Isha is still slowly moving towards the hole in the wall, seemingly unaware of what just happened. You sigh before turning to the girl standing right next to you who's still staring at the knocked out guy.

“Fucking freak. Thinking he can touch MY trinket.” She says between gritted teeth. You dare not to touch her since you believe it will trigger her further.

You still feel aggravated by what just happened but having her intervene in your favor spreads a white heat through your chest that you can't really define with words where it's coming from. Surely you don't need anyone to protect you since you can take care of yourself with minimum effort, and quite well at that, but there is something about being cared for so fiercely as your girl does for you that turns a key inside you. You wish you could kiss her right now because who would've thought, she's your hero after all.

“I'm sorry, princess. Things got out of control.” You say quietly, biting at your lower lip.

“You're in big trouble, toots but I'll deal with you later. Now let's get out of here before I shoot him in the head.” She turns to leave without looking at you but the pet name gives you hope and you take a second to grab your coat as well as a couple of souvenirs before following after her.

Making your way towards the mansion was not the easiest task, to say the least, as you had to find a way to cross the bridge between the two cities undetected. You had no choice but to explore the dark underground air tunnels that connect both provinces to reach the sumptuous structure which stretched through an entire block. And after a couple of minutes of trying out all the keys Isha had stolen, you're finally able to unlock a side door that leads into an immense luxurious kitchen.

It's past midnight when you're all able to find rooms you'd like to spend the night in, the small girl having picked a children’s bedroom that looked more like a themed park with the amount of toys, slides and candy colored furniture it held. Now Jinx and you find a bedroom that overlooks the garden at the back of the house, strategically trying not to alert neighbours of a possible invasion. There's a four post king size bed with a canopy on one side of the bedroom that brings a happy shine to your eyes upon seeing it.

You throw yourself on it and stretch your arms above your head, making an excited squee sound from how satisfying it feels. Jinx is looking out the floor to ceiling windows that lead to a medium size balcony, but you've no idea what she's peeping at since everything there is to see is hidden by the darkness of the night. You wonder if she's still mad at you for letting that man lay his hands on you since she’s barely spoken at all on the entire way here.

“Hey, are you still upset with me?” You ask as you lay on your stomach to get a better look at her. She gives you a side glance over her shoulder but doesn't turn towards you when she speaks.

“You cheated, trinket. You weren't supposed to touch but you practically threw yourself at him…” Her voice is hoarse and almost sad, which lets you know she might actually feel hurt about what happened.

“I didn't see any other options, Jinx. The guy was so boring and it was taking so long for him to get comfortable enough to trust me with the information, I had to improvise.” You try to explain to her before taking a deep breath and getting up to go stand by her side. “I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear. Fuck I'm not even attracted to him, that dude was a total loser and he's not you, y’know?” You take a chance to slide the back of your fingers up her forearm and it's with relief that you notice she doesn't flinch.

“But he had his hands all over you… and - and you seemed to be enjoying it. That hurt loads, toots.” She whines like a child would and you just want to hold her even though she's the one that put you in this situation in the first place.

“I was definitely not enjoying it, he could've been a door for all I care. Besides, this kind of work requires a lot of acting and I’ll have you know, I was pretending really hard back there ‘cause he almost made me slip into another dimension with his dull ass chit chat.” You say with exasperation before you catch her trying to hold back a laugh.

“He was a real fun sponge, wasn't he?” She chuckles, turning to face you. “I think I might've fallen asleep a couple of times.” She snickers and reaches out to hold one of your hands.

“I know right? He had literally negative amounts of game, it was honestly disturbing, man. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.” You start ranting with eyes wide and Jinx lets out a genuine laugh.

“I mean, guy had you sitting next to him wearing almost nothing and still couldn't do anything about it.” She rolls her eyes with a sunny grin on her lips and you're not quite ready for the implied compliment but it hits you in all the right places.

“Though he never really had a chance, I wouldn't let anyone other than you have me like that, ever again.” You stroke her jaw gently and her expression darkens instantly with lust. “Which reminds me, I swiped a few goodies for us earlier.” You slip your hand inside the pocket of your coat to grab a bright pink plastic dildo of medium size, a large textured purple one, a heart shaped butt plug and a bottle of lube to show her. Her eyes widen with surprise then she starts having a fit of giggles.

“Naughty trinket! You were thinking about snatching these the minute you saw it, weren’t you?” She puts her hands on your waist and you shrug but the sideway smirk on your lips answers her question. “I knew it! Then are you gonna let me use this on you or what?” She gets closer to you and you use your free hand to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.

“Hmmm, I don’t know… have you been a good girl for me, princess?” You lower your tone and Jinx’s eyes flutter as she looks at your lips for a second.

“I’ve been very good, toots. Didn’t even blow up any heads today.” She smiles at you innocently and you respond by kissing her deeply with the knowledge she’s anything but. It doesn’t take long for her deft fingers to start roaming, first feeling up your ass then massaging your chest before using one hand to hold you in place by your throat. Hmm, she’s been definitely picking up some moves from you.

“Hold on, Jinxie. These need to be cleaned up first.” You bring her attention back to the shiny toys and she sighs before snagging them from you.

“Ugh, fineee! You better not run from me though.” She narrows her eyes before stomping towards a door on the opposite wall that you assume leads to a bathroom.

“That could be fun, don’t you think?” You shrug off your coat when she’s out of view then move to cozy up in the middle of the bed, resting your back on the several fluffy pillows propped on the headboard.

“Nuh uh! No dice, trinket. Stop playing around.” She sounds exasperated as you hear the sound of water running and you just laugh at her response.

“Alright, alright then… will you help me with my corset again?” You’re anxiously waiting for her to come out and ravish you already, just thinking about all the things she’ll do to you is making you squirm.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m coming too-” She appears on the doorframe and freezes when she sees you sitting on the bed like a birthday present with one leg stretched and the other bent on the knee.

“Are you gonna stay there the entire night?” You ask in your best seductive voice, making her snap out of it and start making her way towards you. When you decide she’s close enough you start to move your bent leg sideways to give her a peek of your heated center. You let out a boastful laugh when she starts walking faster midway through.

“Thank fuck I’m no real estate man.” She jokes before taking off her boots and sliding into bed to kiss you desperately.

You throw your arms around her neck as she moves to kneel between your legs, spreading them apart with a light push of her hands and you take the opportunity to snake your lower limbs around her hips, trying to pull her as close as possible to you. Jinx rakes reverent hands through your torso as if trying to memorise every sensation her fingers elicit; the slight trembles, the sighs, the moans and the shivers. So you let her feel the smooth skin of your hips and thighs before teasing her digits on the hem of your tiny v-string.

You buck your hips upwards involuntarily, which makes you wonder, when was the last time you felt this much want? You honestly can't think of a moment being intimate with someone else felt this good and exciting. Fuck, you absolutely need her to possess you, and this is Jinx we're talking about so she certainly will. The blue haired girl sits on her heels as she pulls your hips onto her lap to rub the curved tip of the pink dildo against your center and through the fabric of your underwear, making you whine at the barely there sensation.

“This one okay tootsie toots?” She smirks at you and her eyes glow pink in the penumbra of the canopy. You swallow hard before you desperately try to grind on the toy she has lightly pressed against you.

“Fuck, sure but it would be better if it was inside me.” You tell her off impatiently. She giggles then puts the dildo aside to stand with a knee on each side of your hips.

“Turn over, I want to see what's underneath this corset of yours.” She demands and you hesitate for a second, debating with yourself if you want to provoke her or if you want to be coming hard in the next few minutes, before deciding on the latter and doing as she says. “Hmm so well behaved… maybe if you keep this up I'll give you what you want quickly…” She whispers the last part into your ear and kisses a path down to the back of your shoulder.

Jinx peppers your back with soft kisses as she plays with the string of your panties until she reaches your exposed ass and decides now is a good time to mark your skin with her mouth and teeth. You cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure and she licks her artwork tenderly before telling you this was just to remind you she has been here before. You chuckle incredulously because how the hell were you ever supposed to forget about her when you feel like she's the only one who can quench your thirst? And might as well be the first one to do so.

She works with deft fingers on the laces of your corset before turning you over again so you are laying on your back. Her eyes are soft now as she pulls down the shoulder straps down your arms before removing the piece of clothing entirely and throwing it lazily on the floor. You try to fight the urge to cover your chest with your arms but then she's telling you how perfect you are, so you dare not move. She leans down to kiss your lips languidly as her hands fondle your chest, pinching your nipples lightly in turns which makes you rub your thighs together in search of some friction.

After she's done marking your breasts with her affection, she manoeuvres to lay sideways next to you and you cradle her face between your hands when she snakes an arm under your thigh to pull it up towards your chest so she can rub her lithe fingers on your core, making you moan into her mouth. Your completely ruined panties are pulled to the side and you can feel her digits make light circles on your sensitive bud as you call her name feverishly, no longer being able to tell if you're upside down or inside out. You feel her guiding your hand to hold aside the tiny piece of cloth before she grabs the plastic toy to line up with your entrance.

You try to beg but words are out of your coherence capacity at the moment as she rubs the fake cock on your dripping pussy with intention. In an attempt to speed things up though you bend both of your legs upwards towards your torso before pushing her hand down, making the dildo slide in and fill you up effortlessly. You let out a long moan as you feel the object hit all the sensitive parts of your walls, the curved tip almost reaching your spot. When she starts to slowly pump the length of it in and out, your free hand flies to your clit to also give it attention.

“Tell me what you need.” She asks against the side of your face and you need to find a way to tell her you've been close ever since she started touching you. She moves some hair away from your flustered face and looks at you intensely before brushing her lips against yours. “I wanna know how to make you feel good.” Her teeth grazes the skin of the pulse point on your neck and your legs already start trembling.

“You… I need… you.” You manage to say amidst breathy moans which makes her slow down her movements between your legs and return her attention to your face. She looks at you in awe, the irises of her widened eyes almost entirely swallowed by her blown pupils. “What?” You think maybe you’ve said the wrong thing because your hazy mind doesn’t understand why she would almost halt to a stop now.

“Only me?” She whispers softly and you nod before pushing the hand she's holding the toy with so it reaches your tender spot. Not that she needs much guidance but you show her how your back arches off the bed when the tip of the dildo rubs against your back wall as you massage your sensitive bud.

Gods, the way she kisses you ardently now almost makes you break and then she’s running her mouth down your neck, leaving a trail of saliva one the way until she reaches your already hardened nipple to suck on it and you actually get hit by a wave of intense euphoria. Your entire body writhes uncontrollably with pleasure as Jinx helps you ride your high by keeping a steady pump of the dildo inside you. Your legs end up closing by themselves as you become overstimulated after a few beats so you pull her hand away to remove the toy from inside you.

She kisses all over your face as your body still spasms with the remaining electric jolts of your bliss. Then she brings the toy towards her mouth and starts wiping it clean, moaning at the taste of you, and as if this wasn't enough she lines it up with your lips so you can join her, your tongues brush against one another slightly as you sloppily flick them over the length of the shaft. You catch a sideways smirk on her face before realising she's observing the way you're lapping at it, and she must know how much that damn attractive grin affects you because in an instant you're pushing her to lay on her back as you straddle her hips.

“Proud of your handiwork, are you?” You start pulling her pants off and getting rid of all unnecessary accessories like her holster and gloves since you need to feel her skin on yours.

“Not gonna lie, getting in your pants is one of my greatest life achievements.” Her words are laced with sarcasm so you roll your eyes at her before pulling her top off.

“So you're no longer interested since you already got what you wanted?” You try to get a reaction out of her because the fire still burning inside you needs this to be rougher and more desperate.

“Ha! You're not getting rid of me that easy, trinket.” She laughs and crosses her arms behind her head to admire the view. You also take the opportunity to do the same since having her entirely naked underneath you doesn't happen too often.

“Good thing we're on the same page. Now…” You rip what's left of your underwear and throw it somewhere behind you before you move between her legs to line up your center with hers. “My princess, I want to return the favor since you were so good to me.” You lift one of her legs to secure it against your front as you lower yourself to sit on her.

When you rock your hips forward, feeling how deliciously wet she is and her already hardened engorged clit rubs against yours, you both moan in unison so you pick up the pace spurred by your intense lust. Jinx watches the sway of your lower body against hers, seemingly stunned speechless as she grabs the sheets beside her with force. You kiss her calf before biting at the firm skin there and she whines, turning her attention back towards your face. Leaning forward, you massage one of her boobs before pinching her pierced nipple lightly.

“Fuck, you're definitely trying to kill me.” She manages to say finally and you slow down the pace a bit to laugh at her reaction.

“What? We've never tried this position before?” Of course you know you haven't but you love riling her up so much, you can't help it. She narrows her eyes at you and grabs your hips with force.

“You're confusing me with someone else, trinket. Maybe your other girlfriends?” She pulls you closer and incites you to move faster and harder against her.

“No one… has ever compared… to you… princess.” You lean down to give her a sloppy kiss before straightening up again and adjusting your position to resume your tribbing. 

The bed squeaks with every thrust of your hips as her fire licks your core with burning desire, fuck she feels so damn good and you tell her so as she stretches an arm to grope one of your tits. She says she’s close and lucky for you with a couple more pushes you’re both shaking in tandem with the glorious strength of your mutual orgasm. You have to brace yourself with one hand on the mattress as your second climax of the night bites you hard and even though you’re still high with the blissful feeling, you’re not done with her yet. She’s still heaving when you lift yourself from her and grab at her legs to turn her over, exposing her incredibly irresistible peachy cheeks to you. 

Jinx gasps when you slap her ass playfully and when you lift her hips up towards your crotch, making her kneel between your legs as her upper body still lays on the bed, she hides her face seemingly embarrassed by the new position. “No need to be shy, princess. You’re literally perfect.” You lean forward to kiss her back while still holding her up with one arm. “Do you want me to stop?” You whisper and she shakes her head negatively. “What was that? You need to speak up otherwise I’ll take that as a yes.” You snicker and she grunts, frustrated with your teasing.

“Don’t you fucking dare stop, trinket.” She turns her head sideways to give you an annoyed look and you chuckle before straightening up again and cupping her sex with one hand.

“Hmm, good girl. Hope you’re ready for a couple more little deaths, your highness.” You tell her and she opens her mouth to reply but then you’re stroking your fingers through her damp folds to gather as much wetness as you can before nudging a finger in her entrance, and the words die out in her throat. 

Instead, a moan escapes her lips when you push inside her and you’re always taken aback by how tight she is, even after quite a few ‘stretching sessions’ where you’ve managed to fit in three of your fingers within her core. It does take a bit of clit play before she’s loosening up and swallowing your digits with fervor, but you surely worship the ways in which her body responds to your passion. She bites her fingers when you introduce a second one and you use the angle to massage her bare asshole, making her rock her hips backwards lewdly. 

Then you’re picking up the pace and burying deep and hard inside her sensitive pussy, the wet sounds of your movements filling up the room along with her loud whines of pleasure. She reaches an arm back to try to touch your thigh but you divert it's path by interlacing your fingers and bending her arm securely on the small of her back to hold her in place as you pump inside her relentlessly. Her back arches a couple of times with the impending arrival of her second climax and her legs tremble so hard, you believe the only thing holding her up is the tight grip you have on her.

Jinx lets out a short loud cry into the sheets as she cums all over your fingers, the brunt of it making her hips piston once onto the bed as the grip of her pussy pulls you forward with her. She spasms frantically underneath you but you're not done with her yet so you manage to let go of her bent arm to turn her over once more so you can sprawl on your stomach with your face buried in her center. You remove your fingers from inside her to coat her protruding bud with her slickness before you start sucking it. She gasps and tries to close her legs from how sensitive she is but you pin one of them down with your free hand so you can continue to eat her out.

Honestly, you don't know what's taken over you to go from being insecure and overzealous with her to needing the ferocious fire that burns inside you to consume you both. Maybe it's the realization that she can handle anything you give her, or perhaps it's knowing that deep inside you can trust her with your wild needs and unhinged desire for devotion. Well, whatever it is makes you rock your hips onto the bed to seek friction as you let out guttural moans, tasting her sweet nectar on your frantic tongue. She manages to lift herself on her elbows to watch your eyes flutter and roll backwards while you circle her clit with your tongue.

“Fuck, you're so good at this.” She manages to say in one breath as she's still trying to recover from her last undoing, and reaches out to wipe some sweat from your forehead before placing her hand gently on the side of your head. “But I wanna taste you too.” And there it is, the matching scorch that will deliver you both from evil.

“Yeah?” You give her a dopey grin and she nods with cheeks flushed then pulls you towards her lips to roll your tongues together, before you turn around to line up your center with her mouth.

She wraps her arms around your thighs to tug your hips down towards her face before lapping at the length of your pussy with intention, making you brace yourself on your hands as your body bends forward. You try to recover so you can rub circles on her sex, but then she’s flicking her tongue on your clit and you lose track of what you were doing, the rush of blood between your legs proving to be a sensational distraction. You rock down on her mouth and she stiffens her exposed tongue so you can rub your needy cunt against it wildly. You’re getting close again and as if realising this she tightens her grip on you to halt your movements.

“Mmm taste so fucking delicious.” She parts your folds to lick a path along your slit before capturing your sensitive clit between her lips to suck it lightly. You let out an obscene moan but force yourself to return your attention to her bare pussy. “Wanna do this all n-” She starts saying but then you’re swiftly eating her out with so much want she doesn't get to finish her sentence.

An unconventional race begins with you two competing to reach the finish line, although you wish there would be no end to this with how wonderful it feels. However, your ambition gets the better of you as you double down your efforts without mercy between her legs by sucking her clit with intention, your head bobbing up and down with your movements. Jinx’s warm breath caresses your dripping center as she lets out breathy moans before going back in to somewhat mirror your actions which you feel like it’s cheating but there are no real complaints to be made here. With a couple more suctions of your mouth she's cumming on your tongue and your orgasm follows soon after.

You help each other ride your highs by wiping one another clean until she asks you to stop and you're both completely limp on the now dampened bedding. You kiss her inner thigh before resting your cheek there as you try to catch your breath, you swear you can see stars on the peripherals of your vision when you close your eyes. You're both pretty much spent after this, the only thing to do now is to bask in the afterglow of your rapture. After everything you've been through today, your limbs finally start to feel heavy so you gather your last strength to manoeuvre your body so you can snuggle beside her, resting your head on one of her shoulders as you tangle your legs with hers.

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me are you?” You feel her voice reverberate through her and a shiver crawls up your spine.

“Is that not allowed?” You ask lazily, making her chuckle for some reason.

“We’re not done yet. There are so many things I wanna do with you…” She rubs the back of her fingers on your forearm and you smile heartily at her enthusiasm.

“Really? Like what?” Your curiosity gets the better of you even though your eyes are already starting to close on their own.

“Like… having you against the window and… trying butt stuff… and um using the toy again on you and um on me too i guess…” She lists her fantasies as if trying to remember what she needs to buy a the grocery store. “And then there’s a really big tub in that bathroom that would be great to use too… but you know what would be insane?” There’s a sudden lilt of excitement on her voice.

“What?” You turn your head up to look at her through half lidded eyes and she smirks at you mischievously.

“If I could turn that toy you swiped into a fully functional dong with sensations and everything!” Her eyes shine in the darkness of the room and you’ve seen that look before which means she just had an eureka moment.

“Whoa, that would be really cool.” You kiss her collarbone sweetly before snuggling closer to her. “We can try all of that in a bit, princess… just need to rest my eyes for a second…” You’re sure you can reignite your fire in only a few moments from now but you’re already starting to doze off. She goes quiet for a few seconds before speaking up again.

“I love you, Y/N.” She whispers on the top of your head, and brings one of your arms to lay across her stomach.

“Love you forever, Jinxie.” You slur out your love declaration before slipping away into unconsciousness.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hello!! I am back with more questions from my Duolingo Welsh lessons. I am so sorry I’m annoying, but I am having a grand time but would like to get it right.

1. It doesn’t have a speech section so I’m having a hard time with my pronunciations - I’d love to learn the alphabet and know how to pronounce each of the letters. Might you have any recommendations for me?

2. I’m learning about past tense and it is very confusing. I can’t tell gwaeth from wnaeth (for example) which is worse now that I’m getting gwnes i fwyta. Have I completely misunderstood this? I thought gwaeth was the past tense of gwneud but I think maybe I’m wrong about that. Are they just past tense of Mae? But then what’s the difference between aeth and and gwnaeth and wnaeth? 😭 Am I even coherent asking this question?

3. Speaking of mutations. Any chance you can do a brief primer on that? I definitely understand it after the vowel but I’m pretty sure that’s not the only time? Because of nos, I think feminine mutations might be a thing? Also feminine mutations is going to be the name of my band.

4. Would you be willing to explain Mi? Sometimes there’s a mi and sometimes there’s not and I can’t tell why/when it should be there.

5. Also is there a difference between do/ydw and naddo/ nac ydw? Just curious.

6. Also also what’s the difference between eglwys and capel? I don’t really know if a church and a chapel are different things?

Thank you again for your patience!

Not annoying at all! Alright, let's see *cracks knuckles*

1 . Pronunciation.

Yes, this playlist on YouTube. Done by a woman from the north and a man from the south, so you can hear the differences between the northern and southern U, for example

(Southern is easier by far for a beginner. But northern sounds cooler, even though it does require you to unhinge your jaw to get it.)

2 . Gwneud.

I presume you mean "gwnaeth", rather than "gwaeth"? Gwaeth means 'worse' lol.

You're correct, though - gwnaeth is the third person singular past tense of gwneud, meaning to do or to make. 'Wnaeth' is mutated, and indicates that it's a question or a negative. Aeth, by contrast, is different - that's actually the past tense of "mynd", to go.

These, like in English, are irregular verbs, which is why they're tricksy. A verb table with regular verbs would be nice and straightforward and you just add an ending to indicate which person you're using; here's an example using "cerdded", the most beautiful and regular of Welsh verbs:

Cerddais i (I walked)

Cerddaist ti (you walked)

Cerddodd e/hi (he/she walked)

Cerddon ni (we walked)

Cerddoch chi (y'all walked)

Cerddon nhw (they walked)

Nice and easy! Ais/aist/odd/on/och/on. Plug in verbs as needed.

But, these lil fuckers are irregular. So "gwneud" goes:

Gwnes i

Gwnest ti

Gwnaeth e/hi

Gwnaethon ni

Gwnaethoch chi

Gwnaethon nhw

However, the irregulars do, at least, share these endings. "Mynd" becomes es i/est ti/aeth e etc. "Cael" has a slight twist - singular follows this pattern (ces i etc), but plural goes cawson ni/cawsoch chi/cawson nhw for no reason anyone can fathom. Even so, though, the endings are following the established pattern.

But, one extra note for "gwneud" - sometimes, rather than follow the cerdded example up above, you use gwneud to construct your past tense. So these two sentences both mean "I walked":

Cerddais i

Gwnes i gerdded

Literally, you're saying "I did walking", but it's grammatically acceptable. This means as a learner if you can hammer the six forms of gwneud's past tense into your verbal speech, you can construct that past tense with any verb you like. So, there's that.

(It also means some dialects of Wenglish use "I do" in an amazingly similar way to the AAVE habitual be. "I do go to town with Mam on Saturdays": a totally normal thing to hear in Abertillery.)

3 . Mutations.

I mean. GREAT band name.

Short answer: there are three types of mutations in Welsh, two of which (nasal and aspirate) are quick and easy to explain and one of which (soft) is a bit more lengthy and crops up all the time. They are used for two reasons: one (1), to make certain grammar clearer, and two (2), to make Welsh poetic forms possible (yes really).Do not stress about getting them right. Plenty of fluent first language speakers don't get them right all the time. You will still be understood. It is more important that you speak Welsh than stress about making sure you're perfect.

Longer answer:

Aspirate mutation. Very simply, a c -> ch, t -> th, and p -> ph. This is the only reason ph is a letter in Welsh, actually - to make the mutation more visible. Otherwise, it's pronounced the same as a ff, and so is redundant.

Used mostly after the feminine pronoun ei (her). Her cat: ei chath. Her shield: ei tharian. Her head: ei phen.

Nasal mutation. Affects a few more letters: b -> m, c -> ngh, d -> nh, g -> ng, p -> mh, t -> nh. The number of Hs there looks intimidating, I know, but they're almost always followed by a vowel, so pronunciation is actually quite easy and pleasant.

Most commonly used with the possessive first person singular pronoun fy (my), and after the preposition yn (in), both of which may change at the end to make it even easier. So Cardiff = Caerdydd, but "in Cardiff" = yng Nghaerdydd. Father = tad, but "my father" = fy nhad. Phonetically, those would be roughly pronounced "ung Hire deeth", and "vern haad", to give an idea.

Soft mutation. AKA the Bastard. A good quarter of the damn alphabet gets caught in this:

There are, IIRC, 28 different times you would use these. I shall not be listing them all.

But, the most common are:

After the masculine pronoun ei (his). His cat: ei gath. His shield: ei darian. His head: ei ben. (This is the only way, other than context, to tell whether "ei" means his or her - male gets soft mutation, female gets aspirate)

After prepositions. Am, ar, at, gan, heb, i, o, dan, dros, trwy, wrth, and hyd.

Feminine words after the definite article. Chair: cadair. The chair: y gadair.

Adjectives or adverbs following "yn". Exciting: cyffrous. The trees are exciting: mae'r coed yn gyffrous.

Adjectives following a singular feminine noun (not a plural). Beautiful: prydferth. Beautiful tree: Coeden brydferth. Beautiful trees: Coed prydferth.

Many other such occurances

4 . Explain Mi

God scientists WISH they could explain Mi.

So, this is where there's an odd little starter word, right? They come in north/south flavours (mi/fe). "I walked to town":

Cerddais i'r dref.

Mi gerddais i'r dref.

Fe gerddais i'r dref.

These mean the same thing, are entirely optional, and if you choose to use them they trigger a soft mutation. Why do this? Unknown. Helps with writing poetry to have the option.

5 . Yes and No

Yes, there's a difference - it's tense.

Welsh, like all Celtic languages, technically doesn't have single words for yes and no (although that's no longer true in informal Welsh, where ie and na are now extensively used. Particularly by learners.) Instead, each "yes" is actually repetition of the original verb, and therefore means "Yes it is", or "Yes I am", or "Yes there are" or any other permutation.

Wyt ti'n cerdded i'r dref heddiw? Are you walking to town today?

Ydw. Yes (I am).

Do and naddo are past tense. Yes I did/no I didn't, essentially, though they cover more than just first person.

6. Church vs chapel

They are different, but I am non-religious and don't really know the difference. I think it's different denominations, though. Certainly in Wales, religious Welsh-speakers are chapel-goers, and the choices are Methodist, Baptist and Welsh Non-Conformist, whereas English speakers are more likely to go to church and be, like, CoE or protestant or what have you. But yeah, this is more a religious question, so I shall have to bow out.

ANYWAY! I hope this has helped, hmu if you need clarifications or what have you

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Special Needs

Gif credits

Pairing/AU: DBF!Joel Miller x F!reader, no outbreak

Rating: +18, Minors please don’t interact, NSFW

Summary: Joel lets you convince him that you can help him get back in shape. (Do you remember the episode of Friends where Monica convinces Chandler to work out with her? The idea came to me while watching that episode. What came out of it, however, has almost nothing to do with that episode. LOL but I used the name Geller as a tribute)

Word count: 4254

Warnings: smut, age gap (reader is 22, Joel's age is not explicitly mentioned but I would say around 46/48), pov switch (I hope I succeeded because it's my first time), reader has breasts and vagina, she is wearing shorts and a sports bra and has a ponytail, other than that there is no other particularly accurate description of her, brat taming dynamic, power dynamic, unprotected p in v (reader is on the pill, please take precautions IRL), spit, cum eating, oral (m receiving), face fucking, fingering (f receiving), sex in a public place (a park LOL), risk of getting caught, swearing (A LOT), Joel is mean, reader is mean too and also a total brat, rough sex, praise kink, a little bit of orgasm control, a lot of bickering, Joel wears shorts (!!!), Joel comes inside her, sort of (?) seed kink, pet names (mostly good girl, honey, bratty little thing, cheeky little thing, babe), use of the term daddy once, readers calls Joel and old man and other nicknames multiple times, Joel slaps reader once during sex, I don’t even know what to say, you all, it’s pure filth 💀 Title is from a Placebo song.

As always, English is not my first language so please be kind, no proofreading, no editing, no beta, it’s all my fault and I’m very sorry, I hope this makes sense, otherwise pretend it never existed, thanks.

And thank you so much for reading my silly little stories, I'm still in disbelief that anyone is interested in what I write 😭

Archive tags: @pedrostories 🥰

Joel hadn’t considered everything when you suggested it. He’d looked at your big, shining eyes as you told him he didn’t need to pay a lot of money to join a gym, you’d take care of getting him in shape.

Running had always been a part of you and you did it every morning so there wouldn’t be any problems.

Luckily, you had just returned from college for the summer and would be spending three months at your parents’ house before classes started again.

At first it seemed like a sentence, you would have preferred to go to Europe with your roommate but you had decided to save the money you had earned working as a waitress and you didn't feel like asking your parents for them.

As soon as you got out of your dad’s car, you saw Joel waving at you from across the street and you remembered when you had a crush on him. You thought you’d put it behind you and that it was just a passing teenage nonsense.

That day you realized that it wasn't like that, it hadn't gone away at all.

Two weeks had passed and your father had invited his best friend Joel for dinner.

Sure, why not.

You were so nervous that it took you an hour and a half to choose what to wear, your mother had come to your room twice to see what the hell you were doing and why you hadn't gone down to the kitchen to help her yet.

Why the hell did you get yourself into that situation?

After all, blowing your savings in Europe was probably not such a bad idea, after all you are 22 and had the right to enjoy your holidays. Stupid conscience, by now you could have been in Spain or Italy or even France.

You ended up wearing denim shorts and a crop top. Pretty much what you usually wore, but you thought you saw Joel peeking at your thighs few days before and you obviously liked the idea.

When your mother saw you she didn't make any comment, she had never made a fuss about how you dressed. And she certainly didn't imagine that those skimpy denim shorts were there to get her husband's best friend to look at you, it didn't even cross her mind. You were above suspicion.

When you saw him enter the dining room followed by your father you almost lost your breath.

Why was he so damn attractive? You should have convinced yourself to forget about him but you hadn't. You had tried to do it that night too, until he mentioned that he wanted to join the gym and you almost interrupted him and said "you could come running with me."

You felt like you were watching yourself from the outside and if you could you would have slapped yourself. Why had such a bullshit come out of your mouth.

Fuck.

You actually knew very well why.

Joel looked at you with a surprised expression. “Are you sure?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course! Excuse me, you live across the street, is it possible that you’ve never seen me running? I’ve been doing this for years.”

“I never noticed, kid, honestly noticing your habits is not a priority in my life” Joel had replied nonchalantly.

Your father had laughed, covering his embarrassment.

Of course he knew. He had seen you scampering around the neighborhood in those skimpy shorts and that way-low-cut sports top. He had also wondered where the hell you had bought that stuff, didn't the good old tracksuits that covered everything exist anymore?

“Well, you could at least try. We’ll start with a short route. Just a few miles, do you think you can do it?” You replied, batting your eyelashes and looking at him with an angelic expression.

“Sure, kiddo, I sweat all day to earn a living,” he retorted defiantly. “Who do you think I am?”

“An old man” you said candidly.

This time even your mother, who was usually composed and cared more about education than anything else, giggled.

Joel looked at you with an ironic expression “ok, little girl, I'm in”

“Good, then I'll see you at 6 because it will be too hot later, I'll come and knock on your door” you replied mischievously.

“Pfff Do you think it’s a problem for me to wake up early? I’ve been waking up at 5 for decades”

“Sure, but tomorrow is Saturday”

Joel rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

You had won, incredible.

Your father looked at him smiling and shrugged, “what can I say, I have a smart daughter”

Oh sure, you looked so pleased with yourself.

You hadn't won the war yet though.

————

The next morning you wake up at 5, get ready, put on the shortest shorts you could find, a sports top that reaches just below your breasts, and go out quietly so as not to wake your parents.

You knock on Joel's door at 6 o'clock sharp, imagining his expression when he saw you.

Joel opens the door with a cup of coffee in his hand “hey girl! do you want a cup of coffee?” he asks you with a seraphic expression painted on his face.

He would never give you the satisfaction of being caught unprepared.

“I’ve already had it at my house. Don’t try to postpone the inevitable Mr Miller.” he hates it when you call him that, it makes him feel old and you know it.

“When did you become so simpering? I need to have a chat with your father.” he smirks.

“Of course” you reply rolling your eyes “So are you ready or not? I won’t wait all morning.”

“I was born ready, little rascal, I'll take this to the kitchen and then we can go”

“K, I’ll wait here”

You drum your fingers on the door frame as you watch him walk away. “Tick tock, tick tock,” you taunt and he turns to glare at you as he walks past the kitchen threshold.

You have to admit, he looks pretty cute in shorts, in fact, who are you trying to fool… he has amazing legs.

And clearly, even if you never tell him, you think that he doesn't need anything and that the effort he puts into his job has already shaped him enough. This is just an excuse to spend time alone with him.

“Come on, let’s go,” he says, closing the door and putting his keys in his pocket. “Keep up with me, old man,” you say, smiling before stepping off his porch and running as fast as you can.

You hear him swearing behind you as he tries to catch up. After a hundred meters you see him coming up beside you and he’s out of breath “you did it on purpose”

“Of course” you giggle looking straight ahead.

“Can we slow down a bit now or were you planning on giving me a heart attack?”

“Okay, okay, I don't want you on my conscience, Mr Miller,” you start walking at a fast pace “we can do this for a while”

You turn to him and see his face all red and sweaty. “Damn, are you down already?”

“Not a chance, little girl. And stop calling me Mr. Miller, you know it gets on my nerves.” he grunts trying to catch his breath

“Yes I know, Mr Miller” you reply with a flirtatious tone and you know he didn’t miss it because he turns to you and looks at you and his eyes say “I’m going to make you regret this”

“So, why did you come back here this summer?”

“College is expensive and my parents already do enough for me, I’m trying to save as much as I can.”

“It’s a smart move and indeed very thoughtful” he admits

"See? I'm not as bad as you think” you say glaring at him while you keep the pace “While we’re on the subject, you might not call me kiddo, I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Yeah, whatever, kiddo. I’m good now just in case you are interested”

“Ok, you asked for it” you say in a challenging tone and start running again as fast as you can.

“Hey!” He shout “you little cheeky thing!”

“Blame yourself for it, geriatric” you shout back.

Joel huffs and tries to run faster to catch up with you as you run away laughing.

He doesn't mind being behind though, he can see your ass bouncing hugged in those ridiculous shorts you've put on that barely cover your butt cheeks.

He’s not supposed to think certain things, but you've been mischievous since you got back.

He has noticed how you look at him and how you always try to argue with him, he is pretty sure that this is your way of flirting and he finds it quite funny.

And well… you're definitely cute, much cuter than he remembered.

He forced himself not to do anything because you are his best friend's daughter but you don't make it easy for him.

And now you’re here in those skimp shorts and that sports bra so small that your boobs look like they could pop out at any moment.

And the worst part is your attitude.

Fuck, you’re making a mess in his pants lately.

“Come on, old man, you can do it” oh you are so insolent in persisting in calling him old, he really should teach you a lesson.

He tries his hardest to reach you and you slow down, let him get a little closer and run away again.

“Jesus Christ” he cuss under his breath and try to run faster and you let him getting closer and then you sprint away again laughing and calling him a couch potato.

You keep going like this until he can finally reach you and he grab your wrist.

You turn to him “Hey! Let go of me!” you look like an angry kitten ready to scratch.

“Now we're taking a break,” Joel hisses.

“What the hell? There are still two miles to go”

“I SAID. We’re taking a break. Now”

“Okay, lazybones, whatever you want, don't get too nervous”

Joel is looking mad, which is so dumb, you were just kidding and he should know it.

It turns you on to see him like this though, you have to admit it.

“How about you let go of my wrist for starters?”

He lets go and looks at you askance.

He's drenched, little drops of sweat slide down the column of his neck, his black, soaked curls are plastered to his forehead, his damp t-shirt lets you glimpse the shape of his nipples.

God, he’s gorgeous.

His labored breathing sounds like a hoarse roar as he tells you, “I know what you’re trying to do.”

Yeah, you shouldn't be so horny for Joel but you can't help it.

“I’m doing nothing” you shout

“Don’t scream” his voice is low but nark.

He looks around, you are near the park and there is no one else.

Apparently you are the only ones who had the crazy idea of ​​running at 6 on Saturday morning.

He grabs your arm and drags you inside, you try to resist “Joel!” but you don’t really want to. He stops behind a tree and pushes you against it.

“You’re trying to do nothing, huh? You haven't been trying to tease me since you got here, have you?“

“No” you say, but you're so delighted that he noticed.

“So at the Geller party last week you didn’t intentionally drop your glass in front of me and bend over to pick it up so I could see your panties, right?”

“I dropped a glass, that's all,” you coo.

“And not even the day you stood naked in front of your bedroom window? You knew I was in the garden, you saw me“

“I was in my room and I had just showered. It's not my fault that you are a voyeur”

“Sure. And the other day when I met you and your father at the cafe and you were eating ice cream? Even then you weren’t trying to do anything?”

Oh. He noticed that too.

Yep, you were busy with that spoon. Pretty cliché of you, you felt so silly.

But apparently it worked.

“It's you who sees mischief where there’s nothing”

“Oh sure, I imagined it” he hiss

You feel the bark stinging your back as he presses you against it, his arms at either side of you stretched out against the tree.

You could duck and run away if you wanted to. The point is, you don't want to.

“And tell me, what did you think you were going to do with these shorts and this top?”

“I was thinking of running” you shrug, and you look at him batting your eyelashes.

He snorts, “You’re such a brat”

You raise your chin slightly, resting your head against the tree “So what?” you ask defiantly “What do you want to do, you moldy old rag, punish me?”

He presses you even more against the tree, staying an inch from your face. You can feel his breath blowing on your skin.

“This attitude will not bring you anything good”

“oooh how scary”you whisper, looking him straight in the eyes.

He licks his lips “Is this what you want?”

“Yes”

His mouth is crushing on yours in a second, his tongue forces your lips and slips inside licking you hungrily and leaving you breathless, his beard scratching your skin.

You grab his cock through his shorts squeezing it and you can feel it’s already hard.

He pulls off and hiss “Fuck, baby, you don’t waste time”

“Yes, I never liked wasting my time” you purr

He takes your hand and raises your arm, pinning it against the tree. “And you think you deserve that?” he asks you authoritatively.

“What the fuck. Of course I do”

“I don’t think so. Here's what you're going to do now. You're going to shut your mouth and do what I tell you to do.”

“No” you hiss

“Oh you will, brat, if you want my dick”

“Fuck”

He looks around again to make sure there is no one in the park. “Kneel down.”

“On the ground?” you raise your eyebrow

“Yeah, on the ground princess. Kneel”

“But I-”

“KNEEL. Fuck, don't make me raise my voice, someone might hear”

You kneel in front of him and he pulls down his shorts just enough to pull his cock out.

It's huge.

You swallow, wondering how you're going to fit it in your mouth.

“Open” he orders

“It won’t fit” you’re suddenly intimidated.

“It will fit, darling, open wide”

“But Joel…”

“Open. Wide.”

You open your mouth as wide as you can and wait. He spit in his hand and strokes himself a couple of times and then starts to slide it into your mouth, onto your tongue.

Your gag reflex almost gets the better of you when you feel it hit the back of your throat.

His salty, musky flavor is all over your mouth.

Luckily you manage to hold back and look up at him “Just like that, honey. See how much easier it is when you stop being a brat?”

He grabs your ponytail and starts moving your head up and down its length, the ground scrapes your knees, you try to breathe through your nose but you're still tired from the run and it's not like Joel has given you so much time to recover.

You close your eyes and try to focus on your breathing but Joel immediately scolds you “eyes on me” and he tugs on your hair.

You grunt and in response he starts fucking your mouth again harder than before.

“Do as I say or your pussy won't even get touched today.”

And you stupidly think “well, I can do it myself” and you bring one hand up your shorts, right above your clit.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you immediately hear him say as he takes his cock out of your mouth.

His hand is still tight on your ponytail, he pulls your head and slaps his cock on your cheek.

“This is what you wanted, right?”

“Yes” you murmur

“A little bit louder, babe. I can’t hear you”

“Yes” you repeat.

“You don't have an ending until I say so, you understand?”

“Yes”

“Good. Stick out your tongue for me, baby”

And you do. You want it too much.

He goes back into your mouth and starts rutting into it savagely.

You feel tears stinging your eyes and the ground is now unbearable under your knees but you don't protest anymore, his big fat cock throbbing between your lips and its veins sliding on your tongue are too delicious to do without.

You feel your panties getting soaked.

You look into his eyes again and you can see a pleased expression painted all over his face.

It's so infuriating and rousing at the same time.

Fuck, Joel Miller.

You don't even know how long he keeps fucking your mouth, you’re totally cock drunk at this point.

His orgasm takes you by surprise, you feel his seed invade your mouth and drip down your chin.

He finally pulls back and smear his seed all over your lips with his thumb.

He forces your lips with his finger “lick it clean, babe”

And you do, like a kitten starved.

“Such a good girl” and his little praise goes straight to your clit.

He finally gets you off the ground and he puts his cock back in his pants.

You look down at your knees, they’re full of grass and dirt, you brush them off with the back of your hand and they hurt. Great. You already know you’re going to get bruises.

“What are you going to tell your parents?”

“That I gave you a blowjob in the park after running. What do you think? Jesus, I'll pretend that I fell to the ground like an idiot" and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, bratty little thing” Joel smirk defiantly.

You sit up and lean back against the tree. You tug on his shirt, pulling him closer to you. “So are you going to fuck me or are you too old to come twice in a row?”

He doesn't even answer, he takes your wrists and holds them still against the tree with one hand, while he slips the other one past the elastic of your shorts and into your panties.

His thick, calloused fingers slide over your folds “You’re already soaking wet” and without warning he slides his index and middle fingers into your hole while his thumb presses on your clit.

You gasp so hard and he just says “God, you’re so tight, babe” and he starts curling them up into you “How does it feel?”

“Good” you whisper “so good, Joel, I feel so full”

“Yeah baby, that’s what daddy’s fingers are made for, to fill your pussy well” his scent mixed with sweat pervades your nostrils, he lowers his face to your neck and bites your skin while he doesn't stop moving inside you.

“Fuck” you hiss. You're intoxicated by him, your head is spinning “fuck, don’t stop, please”

“You drive me insane, you know that?”

And it’s absolutely true.

Joel shouldn't say this, but you've been stuck in his head like a nail since the day you got back and you won't leave him alone.

And now that he has let go of the leash of his inhibitions, it seems impossible to stop. He no longer knows how many times he has stopped to look at you, completely sucked in, his eyes glued to the curve of your ass or the roundness of your breasts, your nipples that peeked out from the fabric of your shirt.

And he managed to remain quiet anyway, until you pushed yourself to the limit by suggesting to go for a run together. And now he's even more fucked, because he's realized that feeling your mouth wrapped around his cock, your body on his, your tits pressed against his chest and your pussy opening up to his fingers is enrapturing.

And your shitty attitude actually makes him hornier.

“Fuck” he says in a hushed tone “Gosh, babe, you’re so pretty like that, all worked up over my fingers.”

“It feels so good, Joel, so good” you whine and you can hear you heart pounding in your chest so hard, he’s tormenting you as he slowly moves his fingers in and out of you “More, I want more”

“Ask nicely” his voice is firm

You look him in the eyes and you wonder why he can't be satisfied with your gaze, you're sure it’s eloquent enough at this moment.

“Please, Joel”

“What do you want, honey?”

“Your cock”

It’s incredible that you’re doing this in this park, you’re begging him to fuck you here.

In an hour at most it’ll start to fill up with people, probably even some of your neighbors who have known you forever. “Manners, babe” He bites one of your nipple through your sports bra and sucks greedily, wetting the fabric.

“Your cock - ah - please”

He lets go of your wrists and his hand comes out of your underwear, your pussy aching for a release.

He pulls down your shorts and frees his cock again, he puts your panties aside and takes his cock in his hand “spit” he orders you.

You look at him for a moment without understanding, dazed at the idea of ​​having to take his massive cock in your cunt, which is what you asked for.

He snaps his fingers in front of your eyes “wake up honey. spit on it” he repeats.

You gather some saliva in your mouth and then let it drip from your lips, letting it fall onto his cock.

“Good girl. You'd be even better if you didn't make me repeat things twice, we need to work on this”

He pushes you back against the tree and slides inside you in one go and yes, you are dripping but his intrusion still rocks you for a moment.

It burns.

He stands still and looks you in the eyes “listen, we don’t have much time princess, don’t pout like that”

“Asshole” you say under breath.

He slaps you “watch your mouth, pretty thing”

Your cheek burns and yet you’re never been so aroused by anyone before.

“Fuck. Just… fuck me, please. Please, Joel”

He grabs your ass cheeks and starts moving inside you. You try to stifle your moans but one escapes your lips “God! Please Joel, please”

“Shut up. I wish I could stuff your panties in your mouth, brat” He silences you with a kiss while you think you wish he could.

And you're so delusional that you think "next time."

He licks into your mouth while he’s pumping into you, hitting your cervix just right, again and again.

And you’re almost there.

He pulls away from your mouth to catch his breath “Joel - I think - I think I’m coming”

He’s still pumping, faster and harder.

You hold onto his shoulders and clench your fists into his shirt “Joel I’m - ah- coming”

“Yes I feel it, I feel your pussy squeezing me, you’re doing it so good, so good for me, baby.”

“Joel” you're begging him, you're so close that you feel like you've lost your mind “Joel, please”

“Come for me, baby” he finally says against your skin “come hard for me”

You’ve been waiting for his permission and now that he's given it to you you feel your whole body shudder as a devastating orgasm washes all over you.

You're quivering against his broad chest, digging your nails into his shirt, trying to moan as little as possible to avoid making yourself heard.

He holds you tight as your legs shake.

He's still inside you and starts pumping harder after giving you time to calm down a bit "where do you want me to come?" "Inside" you whisper

"Fuck, baby, seriously?"

"Yes, I'm on the pill, please Joel, please fill me up"

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, oh my god, please give it to me”

“Yeah, you want it, huh? You want my cum dripping down your legs, huh?

You nod “yes, please, please Joel”

And he explodes inside you an instant later, you feel thick sticky streaks of his seed painting your walls and he’s grunting so hard.

He takes it off you and puts it back in his pants, you fix your panties and shorts as best you can and you already feel it dripping between your thighs and it's a sensation that drives you crazy.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous like that, all sweaty and hot for me”

You smile at him, actually grateful “it was amazing”

“Come on, let's get out of here before anyone sees us”

As soon as he finishes saying this, you see a man with a dog on a leash pass by on the other side of the park.

FUCK.

You run away as fast as you can and once outside Joel stops on the sidewalk, bending over and putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. “Fuck, do you think he saw us?”

“No, I don’t think so. But you know what? I don’t care.”

“You’re such a bad girl.”

Maybe you do, but you really don’t care, you’re too happy.

[opiopal]

(I found this old draft from like, early December! I remember it was a practice at writing dialogue and a bit of angst? I just remember sitting in an art class and typing it out lol, But I decided to clean it up a bit and post! Since I haven’t been posting often and I have about 60 drafts lined up, lowkey I can’t tell if it’s any good or not, since idk if my skills have grown since my wattpad days. I would’ve fully rewritten it, but I knew it would’ve been a pain so I just spell checked and replaced a few sentences.)

•

•

(First scene takes place before lesson 16, second scene is during lesson 16. Also this is just a thing I thought of a while ago)

•CW: description of blood and dead body at the end.•

Mc has been staring at him for a while, hugging onto one of their pillows tightly, completely lost in thought. Mammon had brought them an extra cup of noddles, they had both just gotten back from RAD a while ago so they were reasonably hungry, and he apparently made two “by mistake” and just didn’t wanna waste it.(Mc thought it was a dumb excuse, but didn’t want to mention it and just accepted the food.) Though Mc had finished theirs a while ago, mammon was taking his sweet time, awkwardly staring down at the floor and occasionally flicking his eyes over at the human sitting no less then four feet away from him. It doesn’t cross their mind that he may be acting so awkward due to the fact that they have just been staring at him for the last ten minutes, but how could they really tell? Ever since they had made a pact with him, he’d been so awkward that it made levi look like an extrovert. As the seconds go by he wonders if he should question them, maybe there’s something wrong with them?? Why else would they be staring?? Or maybe there’s something on his face? Is his hair a mess? Is his shirt wrinkled? Why in the three realms won’t they just look away???

“do you like me?”

as they finally break the silence mammon chokes a bit, he coughs as his cheeks almost immediately get red,

“H-wh- I- What?!” “do you like me?” They asked it so casually, as if they were asking him if it were going to rain soon.

“O-of course I don’t!”

“then why do you hang around me?”

“because I HAVE to!”

“even at home?”

“yes!”

“how come?” They set their pillow to the side as they stare at him, he stammers

“I- well- because.. it’s… dangerous for you to be alone!”

Mc tilts their head slightly and furrows their brows, ”do you think your brothers would be a danger to me? Am I not safe here?”

“NO! I mean- uhm- obviously you’re safe here, I just.. you know I need to watch you!”

“but if I’m safe.. then why would you need to?”

“well-“ he pauses, his face somehow gets redder,

Mc smiles and scoots closer to him,

“you wanna know what I think?”

he side eyes them as they slowly start to smile,

“I think we’re friends,”

“PFFTT WHAAAT! NO! No. No we aren’t.”

“I think we are!”

“No” ”yes,” ”no-“ ”yes!” ”no!”

“Then I’ll ask again, How come you hang out with me?”

“I-“ as he pauses again to try and think of an excuse that wouldn’t cause anxiety or worry, he doesn’t want them to believe his brothers would hurt them- but he doesn’t want them to know the painfully obvious truth!!!! mc grins and wraps their arms around one of his,

“we’re frriendss~” they say in a sing songy voice, pressing their cheek against his shoulder. at this point he was so flushed you’d assume someone had came in and slathered red paint all other his face.

a bit of frustration creeps in as he yanks his arm from their grasp, and pulls them in for a tight hug as he avoids eye contact with them. If he can’t deny it, he might as well own it.. right??

“Well. I guess you WOULD want to be friends with the great mammon! It’s only natural!!”

a little surprised, mc giggles and wraps their arms around his torso in return,

“oh yeah, that’s totally it.”

“A- hey! Don’t be gettin all sarcastic!”

They turn their head to look up at him, at this point nearly laying in his lap. They stop giggling for a moment to smile at his face red face, they didn’t really mean to tease him, but he didn’t seem to be taking it to harshly. though still they apologize,

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Though you are a pretty good friend.”

“… really?”

his response surprises the both of them for a second, honestly he didn’t mean to say it, that was just an inside thought that managed to sneak out. He adjusts his arm to support the back of their head as he stares down at them.

“yeah, of course, I think you’re amazing mammon… and you’re doing a fantastic job… keeping me safe, that is.”

• •

That moment almost immediately enters his mind as he stares down at them, pulling their body closer into his chest as their blood slowly begins to soak his arms and lap.

he wasn’t doing a fantastic job. He didn’t. He hasn’t. Why would he let this happen? HOW could he let this happen? He’s holding his human, his mc, as his youngest brother laughs.

He can’t look away, his mind re-memorizing their face, their eyes looked straight ahead with no sign of life, unblinking. He cups their face, shaking them gently, wanting them to do something, anything. To laugh at him being so worried, to make a comment about all the commotion, to mumble something about Lucifer, to blink, to BREATHE, To do ANYTHING. he could feel their warmth fading away, they were so cold. They didn’t deserve to be cold.

His brain was so clouded that he hardly took notice of the door being opened and his brothers arguing coming to a stop, his head finally jerking up when someone spoke their name.

[ellieputellas]

in another life | final part of "if you'd have stuck around"

i'll make you stay, there's just no way i'm leaving without your love if i had my way, i would be yours

— "yours" - now, now

part one | part two | part three

🏷️ @moonystoes @simp4panos

(a/n: the song for the previous chapter suits the first part (?) of this fic more actually but whatever lol)

part three You wondered how many times more you had to relive your break-up with Elisa, how many more times you had to deem the "last one," how many more times you would cry over losing her. You were sure you didn't have another "last" goodbye in you. When she left you in that meeting room, you didn't know what came over you but you cried just like you did five years ago. Sure, after you had split up with Elisa, there were several more instances that you cried but it aas nothing like this. You felt like you were back in that tiny dorm in Montpellier, hurriedly packing up your bag to storm out. You were gutwrenched, feeling like all of the hurt you've buried deep inside you was bursting out all at once.

What's worse was having to leave that meeting room, rushing to wash your face, grab your things, and dash out to avoid any questioning from your co-workers. The last thing you needed was word getting out about Elisa de Almeida making you cry. You spent the next few days avoiding all things football. You stashed the jersey and keychain Elisa gave you in the far corner of your shoe closet. You muted the phrases "Elisa de Almeida", "PSG" and the like on all your social media accounts. You were resolute that that last encounter would indeed be the last. But fate had a weird sense of humor. "Babe, I really don't feel up to it." You told Casey as you buried your head in a pillow. "Can't we just do it over the phone or email? What's technology for if we still have to physically go somewhere to interview people?" "Come on, babe, my dad asked us to do him a favor," Casey said, trying to lift your head up with her hands. "It's just a quick interview. It won't even be filmed."

You groaned. "Why can't they send Gina or Mark... or Daisy? That girl has turned into a full-blown PSG fan in the past week. She'd prefer to interview them." Casey huffed. "Well, I would ask them but they said the team requested you."

You peeked out from your pillow. "The team requested me?" You questioned. "I don't get why they'd like me so much. I pretty much exchanged like 12 total sentences with them all-in-all." "Yeah, to be honest, I just think that Jackie girl does have a crush on you." Casey said in jest. "Pretty sure she just wants an excuse to see you." You sighed, knowing fully well that it wasn't Jackie Groenen who had a crush on you. But then again, it also seemed very unlike Elisa to invite you over. When she left you in that meeting room, it felt like she also permanently decided on ever seeing you again. "Casey, please, I really don't want to." You took the pillow off of your head and gave your girlfriend a pleading look. "It's the last thing I want to do." Your girlfriend looked at you confused as she brushed your hair behind your ear. She cupped your cheek and used her thumb to caress it. "What's up with you, huh?" She asked, concerned. "Did something happen to make you dislike those girls? It's so not you to dislike working... I genuinely think my dad likes you more than he likes me cause you're always up for the job." You gave Casey a weak smile. You didn't know how to tell her that you didn't want to interview them because of Elisa. You knew deep inside that Casey would understand if you told her about what happened five years ago and also, what happened a few days ago between you and Elisa. But you felt like opening it up would just mean reopening your chapters with Elisa. "Babe, did they offend you?" Casey asked with a concerned look. "I did hear from some people that Elisa visited you to give you a gift from the team. Did something happen then?" There it was... your opportunity to tell Casey. You paused. "No."

Casey hummed. "Then what is it? Are you okay?" You felt a pang in your heart. Casey had trusted you immediately without even further questioning. The fact that she was so nice and trusting just made it all worse. You sighed. "Just feeling lazy," You excused. "But fine... I'll do it. But I need you to come with me, please." Casey pouted. "No can do," She sighed. "I'd drop everything to be with you normally but I kinda do have to be with dad for this meeting about a possible acquisition. No clue why I have to be there... I don't get the whole corporate mumbo jumbo but yeah, dad needs me there." "Fine, I'll go alone but drop me off, please?" You asked. Your girlfriend gave you a smile and a peck. "Of course, my darling."

Casey hummed. "Then what is it? Are you okay?" You felt a pang in your heart. Casey had trusted you immediately without even further questioning. The fact that she was so nice and trusting just made it all worse. You sighed. "Just feeling lazy," You excused. "But fine... I'll do it. But I need you to come with me, please." Casey pouted. "No can do," She sighed. "I'd drop everything to be with you normally but I kinda do have to be with dad for this meeting on a possible acquisition. No clue why I have to be there... I don't get the whole corporate mumbo jumbo but yeah, dad needs me there." "Fine, I'll go alone but drop me off, please?" You asked. Your girlfriend gave you a smile and a peck. "Of course, my darling."

You're filled with dread as you knocked on the hotel door. You read the message from your co-worker, instructing you to head up to this exact room. You found it odd that you weren't meeting at the hotel restaurant instead but you just figured the girls might be too tired. The door swung open. Jackie met you with a grin and threw her arms around you as if you truly were friends. Oddly enough, Jackie stepped out of the hotel room and shut the door behind her. "So nice to see you again." She smiled at you. You reciprocated the smile. "Yes, yes, are you the only one doing the interview?" You asked, hoping she'd say yes. "If you'd like, we can do it at the hotel restaurant. The company can foot the bill so we can go crazy on club sandwiches and coffee." She chuckled. "That's so sweet but actually," She replied. "I just asked your production manager to forward all the interview questions to my email and I'd reply through there too." You blinked in confusion. "Oh okay," You furrowed your eyebrows together. As if on cue, you got a text from Gina telling you that there was no need to conduct the interview in person. Too late, Gina. "I guess, I'd go now..." You said, still confused. Jackie held your arm. "Actually... please don't go yet." Her face looked a bit more serious. "Uh, I asked for the interview thing and really pleaded with my boss just so you could come." "A-what?" You asked silently, growing more and more confused. She blushed slightly. "I feel so unprofessional right now but..." She started. "I know.... about you and Elisa." You fell silent and stiffened. "Oh." It was all you could manage to say. The Dutch bit her lip. "I didn't want to pry since I know you're in a relationship but... Elisa hasn't been herself since she visited you so I interrogated her and she just exploded and told me everything." She sighed. "I just thought it would help... for you and her to talk. Even for just five minutes." You were caught in an awkward position. You had to be polite but also, you really didn't wanna do this anymore. "Sorry, Jackie. I don't think—" "Just five minutes, please." The Dutch girl pleaded. "It's affecting her game. She hasn't talked to any of us, not me or Grace or Saki. No one. Our manager is losing his mind having to deal with her and I'm just scared that if she doesn't get proper closure that she might not recover from it and... I don't know. I just figured this was a solution." "Jackie," Your voice trailed off. "Five minutes." She pleaded. "Just tell her that she should move on and that you'll always treasure your time together. I don't know. I've never been in this situation before..." She looked at you with desperation. "I care about Elisa. She's a good friend. If you have to lie to her, just to make sure she's okay... do it." She asked. "I know it's a lot to ask but please..." You took a deep sigh. "Fine." Jackie gave you a genuine hug. "Okay, I'll be back in five minutes. I'll leave you here and just... please try if you can." She asked. Cautiously, still holding on to your arm as if you'd run away if she didn't, she swiped her hotel key card on the hotel door. You two walked in. From the door, all you could see was Elisa's stuff thrown on top of her bed. Jackie started. "Elisa... I'm just gonna go buy some drinks. You want anything?" Elisa grunted in response. Jackie gave you a smile as if to say 'see?' Jackie responded. "Okay, stay here and I'll be back in five minutes." She said as you two walked further into the hotel room. You could now see Elisa under her duvets, scrolling through Instagram on her phone. "Don't leave this room." "Why would I —" Elisa spun around violently as she sat up. Her face went from incredulous to dumbfounded. You were instantly regretting your decision but Jackie had already swiftly exited the room.

"Hey," You said as you stood near the foot of her bed, nervously picking at the fabric of your cardigan. "Heard you weren't feeling well." Elisa gulped. She remained on the bed. She ran a hand through her hair and looked away for a moment, trying to regain composure. You took this opportunity to look at her. She looked tired and sleepless; her hair was a tad disheveled. Yet, to you, she still looked so good. She was wearing a black muscle shirt, revealing her strong arms. You couldn't deny it... she looked incredibly hot. Fuck, this is so weird. You thought to yourself. Why am I even here? "I'm supposed to tell you to get your shit together and move on and to do your job better, I think." You said with a hint of jest in your voice. "So, do that." She was still averting her gaze. You stood there awkwardly before biting your lip and sighing. "I guess, that's all I have to say." You said. "I'll go now." Elisa stood up and rushed to you. She put her hands on either side of you. "No, please, I need to talk to you." She said as she guided you towards the other bed. You awkwardly sat on the other bed which you assumed was Jackie's. Elisa sat on the edge of her bed. You were facing each other with knees knocking given the awkward proximity of the two beds. "So..." You started. Elisa looked up at you. You glanced at her too. You took it all in this time. You looked at her honey-brown eyes, the smile lines around her eyes, her nose, her pink lips, her slightly tanned skin. You figured you might as well take it all in now before you permanently closed the door on your relationship with Elisa. This is the actual last time I'd see her. After this, I'm closing the door and bolting it shut. You rationalized. You bit your lip awkwardly and looked away. "Did you win the friendlies?" She nodded. "Yeah, 2-1" You nodded. "You played the full 90?" She nodded again. "Even if I was fully shit, I did..." She responded. You sighed. "Was San Diego nice?" There was a moment of silence. Elisa didn't respond. Instead, she took your hands in hers. You nearly jolted as you felt her fingertips caress your palm so gently. She used her fingers to trace the lines on your palm as if trying to commit them to memory. The pads of her fingers barely grazed yours, as if you would break if she touched you any firmer.

She took a deep breath before she gently lifted your hands and rested her face in them. She kept her own hands at the back of yours, as if to keep you in place. Her face felt warm under your hands and her skin was so soft to the touch. It felt so intimate, touching her like this. You blinked and looked away for a moment. She shook her head slightly, feeling the movement echo in your hands. It was if to nonverbally tell you to keep looking at her.

When you hesitated, she whispered. "Please, just look at me right now. Just... pretend with me. Even if it's for a while."

You bit your lip. It was so honest and so... oddly painful to see her practically asking you to hold her like this. You were a tad clueless with what she meant. Did she want you to pretend you were still together? That you came here to be with her? Or... was she asking you to pretend that you still loved her?

"Just let me have this for a while," She whispered, as if reading your mind and answering your confusion.

Your gaze lingered on your own hands before finally giving in and meeting her eyes. They were as stunning as ever, the golden flecks in her irises more pronounced than usual. A familiar warmth pulsed through you mingled with a poignant sadness. A heavy glaze obscured her eyes, telling you just how she felt without having to use any words.

In that moment, you realized the cruel irony: the most beautiful things are often the most fleeting. A wave of emotion washed over you. This time, it felt different. It finally sunk into you that this really was the final goodbye. All the other times you deemed "the last" felt painful or incomplete. This felt almost... beautiful. It felt like you both knew this was the last and were finally accepting it. A bittersweet acceptance hung heavy in the air. “Please, move closer,” she whispered, her voice soft and gentle. Her fingers still intertwined with yours. You nodded. You stood up and stepped closer to her, looking down at her face. Her hands found solace under your cardigan and on your back, pulling you towards her with strong yet gentle hands. A pang of guilt shot through you.

You had a girlfriend, a sweet kind-hearted girlfriend. A girlfriend who had no clue what you were doing at this very moment... But suddenly her hands found their way under your shirt and her thumbs were rubbing circles into your skin, and all you could think about was how great it was to feel her touch like this again.

"You're so beautiful," She said in the softest voice. If she said it any quieter, it would have gone unheard. You smiled at her and you took her face in her hands again Without a conscious decision, you straddled her, your weight settling on her lap. She kept one hand under your shirt, at the small of your back to keep you steady and the other reached to your face. She took a stray hair and tucked it behind your ear, a silent gesture of intimacy. Time seemed to stand still. The world outside the hushed room faded into insignificance as you absorbed the moment, her warmth seeping into your soul. You took in the moment, being this close again, after years and years.

She inhaled deeply as her head nestled against your neck, a gentle weight that spoke volumes. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she clung to you; it felt like a silent plea.

As she breathed, her lips brushed against your skin, a feather-light touch that sent shivers down your spine. With each gentle exhale, you felt her warm breath caress the curve of your neck. Nuzzling closer, you inhaled the comforting scent that enveloped you; she still used that same familiar shampoo. You held her head against you, brushing her short, dark locks. The whole moment felt like a sensory experience devoid of thoughts or words. All you could focus on was the soft texture of her hair, the warmth of her body, the comforting rhythm of her breath. As you held her close, the world outside felt distant, muted, detached; it literally felt like you were in a dream or a small pocket outside of reality that only you and her occupied. She lifted her head, her gaze locking onto yours. A silent understanding passed between you. Then, with a swift movement, she flipped you onto the bed, hovering over you. Your eyes pleaded with hers, a silent plea for her to reconsider what she had in mind. But her gaze, unwavering, held a different message. Her eyes traced the contours of your face, lingering on your lips. You parted your lips as if to say something — maybe, a protest or even just asking her to pause and think it out — but nothing came out. She leaned forward cautiously and slowly, pausing intermittently just like she did when she first kissed you. And suddenly, you were kissing. Your lips stayed pressed together, unmoving for a moment. You felt tears sting your eyes. You were unsure why you were suddenly tearing up but the emotion was just too much to handle. Then, your muscle memory took over. You didn't have to think too hard before your arms wrapped around her as you locked lips. You let your hands move up and down to touch her back, her biceps, her body. It felt so familiar yet so new. And, her lips were incredibly soft and her taste... god, she tasted as addicting as ever. Elisa kissed you with a growing desperation. You breathed heavily as the kiss grew deeper, more intense. Her tongue licked your lower lip before you parted them to allow her entry. Elisa’s hand gripped your waist gently as she continued to kiss you.

You’ve kissed a handful of people after Elisa and you’ve kissed your girlfriend more than just a handful of times but… kissing Elisa was different.

You just moved naturally like you were made to be this close to each other. It felt like you two were speaking in a language only the two of you could understand. As your hands tangled in her hair, you couldn’t help but think that maybe — just, maybe — this was where you truly belonged.

She suddenly pulled away to give you two a moment to breathe. Elisa’s forehead pressed against yours as you shared a fragile silence, heavy and warm breaths mingling, each of you holding the other close as if afraid to let go. You wiped your face and realized that it wasn't just your own tears staining your face. Her tears had joined yours, tracing down your cheeks together, silent witnesses to all the emotions you felt. You felt her hands on you; her presence grounding you in that fleeting moment. Elisa was the first to break the silence, her voice low and tender.

“You’re still the girl I’ve always loved.” Those words cut through the air, and suddenly, it was as if reality had snapped back. The low hum of the AC filled your ears. You became acutely aware of her fingers under your shirt, the warmth of her body being this close to yours, the small ache forming in your chest. It was as if time had unpaused. You blinked a few times before gently pushing Elisa away. Elisa stood up, her face tinged with something close to pain and desperation, a pleading look barely concealed beneath her quiet gaze.

Yet, she didn’t say a word, letting you sit up and collect yourself in silence. You straightened your shirt and your cardigan. You brushed your hair and pat them flat with your hands quickly. Each crease on your clothes and each knot in your hair just felt like thinly veiled evidence of your moment of weakness. You cleared your throat as you stood up. You picked up your bag from the floor. You wiped your face with the flat of your fingers. You tried to regain composure even as all the emotions bombarded you. Elisa stood, facing you. She was silent and had a sad look in her eyes but you felt like there was a quiet understanding between the two of you. You took a step toward her, almost instinctively moving to hug her, but stopped, pulling back at the last moment. With a heavy heart, you cleared your throat. “I… I’ll go now.” She nodded, and you managed a shaky breath before turning toward the door, a finality to each step. But before you could take another, Elisa’s arms suddenly wrapped around you from behind, pulling you close, her chin nestled against your shoulder. Her breaths came in soft, shuddering waves, and you could feel her tears dampening your shoulder. You exhaled as you bit your lip, forbidding yourself from crying for the nth time. She held you like that for a while before finally, she said. "Goodbye, fifteen." She dropped her arms to her side. You looked up at the ceiling, preventing the tears in your eyes from sliding down your face. You took one last breath. Then you walked away.

and honest i can tell you now, i love you more than my future spouse — "i'd have to think about it" - leith ross

You brushed your hair as you gazed at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly, two hands wrapped around your waist from behind you, hugging you. “You look incredibly gorgeous, wifey.” You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “I don’t think you can call me that just yet.” You turned around and kissed your fiancé.

“Why not? I already have a ring on that finger.” She said before kissing you several times on the neck and cheek. You chuckled. “Casey!” You yelped in between giggles. “You’re gonna make me late for work.” Casey beamed. “You’re the boss now. You can go as late as you want to.” She said before repeatedly kissing you all over again as you playfully protested and writhed in her embrace. In the past year, Casey’s dad successfully completed an acquisition of a small women's sports media company, and the transition happened in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, you went from being just another content writer to the interim head of the newly formed media division, and then, astonishingly, to External Vice President of Communications. Initially, you struggled with feelings of guilt, questioning whether your rapid ascent was merely a result of nepotism. But as Casey reminded you, you worked harder than anyone else there and you fully deserved recognition. “Remind me again why you have to go to this press conference today.” Casey complained as she plopped down on the bed. You chuckled. “When in Paris…” You joked. “But seriously, I thought that since we will be here anyway, I might as well do the press-con instead of sending someone else to do it for me. Cost-cutting and all that…” She hummed in disappointment. “I hate it when you’re so responsible.” She complained. You re-applied your lipstick and straightened out the blazer you were wearing. You were finally seeing Jackie again after a long time. You two have gotten quite close since… the incident. You remembered dashing out of the hotel room and bumping into Jackie who was emerging from the elevator with drinks in hand. You two had an emotional exchange; quite frankly, you could not remember a single thing you two talked about. You just knew it ended with the Dutch girl hugging you tightly and telling you that it was all going to be okay. After that, Jackie and you had become quite close. You started off as casual Instagram mutuals. She would often respond to your stories, comment on posts, and chat with you. You hung out twice again after. You had drinks with her and her boyfriend when they visited California. Then, a spontaneous, double-date Universals Studio trip together at the end of her trip. Ever since then, you always kept up with each other's lives. You loved Jackie. Mostly because she was a great girl, partly because she never brought up the thing with Elisa without asking her not to, and… partly because you got to indirectly keep tabs on Elisa. You shot Jackie a quick text, letting her know you’d be at the press con today, as you settled into the media seats at the hotel conference room where today’s press-con was being held.

PSG had emerged as champions of the Première League in a historic win. Obviously, this meant there was a lot of attention on the team today. Luckily, your company was able to be granted a press pass to this conference despite not being a France-based company. As the other media people settled in, a staffer announced that the press conference would begin in a minute. You readied your recorder and notepad. Suddenly, cameras started snapping and the crowd started getting louder. You looked up from your seat to see the squad had arrived — Fabrice Abriel, Pauline Dudek, Jackie Groenen…

and Elisa de Almeida. You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat. You bit your lip as you took a deep breath. It had been over a year since you saw her. She looked the same but different. There was a glowy tan to her skin, her hair had grown out longer, and she had a happy look on her face, beaming with pride due to the win her team secured. You could see the pride sparkling in her eyes, and it made your heart ache in a way that felt both familiar and unsettling.

Elisa hadn’t noticed you yet, and part of you doubted she would. The press conference was buzzing with energy, reporters firing questions at her and the rest of the team. You found yourself mesmerized by how she spoke, her confidence shining through with every word. She seemed to have reached a new peak, a version of herself that was so sure of herself and confident.

As the questions flowed, you felt a small pang in her heart. She seemed like someone so distant from the person you knew. She seemed like a fully realized version of herself.

She was still Elisa but... different.

The moderator finally called for last questions, and before you could think twice, your hand shot up. The moment felt surreal, and you could feel the collective gaze of the room shifting towards you when the moderator pointed you out. As soon as she saw you, you noticed a change in Elisa’s demeanor; her face stiffened as your eyes locked. It was as if time had stopped, the air between you thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. You smiled weakly at her. You hesitated for a moment. “J'ai une question pour de Almeida.” You said. You were afraid your voice was too soft to hear but Elisa nodded at you, signaling you to continue. You chuckled and looked down for a moment, composing yourself. “Elisa,” You started. You looked up at her and made sure your eyes were locked. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” The question hung in the air, innocent yet charged with meaning. To anyone, it might have seemed like a generic question but it meant more to the two of you.

She paused. You could see her go through a spectrum of emotions within seconds. Her face dropped then she shook her head in amusement then she looked genuinely pensive. Looking down for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts, she eventually lifted her gaze to meet yours again. There was something vulnerable in her expression, something that made your breath hitch. “I see myself still playing football,” she began, responding to your question in English as well with her voice steady but tinged with an undercurrent of emotion. “By then, I’d be in my 30s… I’d be considered a, uh, senior citizen in Football.” There were a few chuckles in the crowd. “I know for sure that, I’ll still be playing for the club of my life – PSG, winning more leagues… and hopefully, I’d still be playing for the national team too. I still want to be fully immersed in Football…” Her voice trailed off. She took a deep breath before continuing. “And for my personal life, I can’t say much…” Your heart almost stopped in anticipation. You didn’t know why you were so nervous but… the nature of the question and the memories of the past just made it difficult for you to remain calm. ”Five years from now, I want to be happy.” She said, eyes fixed on you and you alone as if you were the only people in the room. “I’d like to believe that I will be... regardless of whatever may happen.”

The way she said it… it just felt heavy and loaded with something you just couldn't decipher. You looked down and smiled as you shook your head, deciding it was better for you to take it as it is.

You looked up again. “C’est tout ce que je voulais pour toi.” (That’s all I ever wanted for you.) As you said those words, you felt your heart skip a beat.

The moment lingered, and for a heartbeat, it felt like the world outside the press conference faded away. You were just two people sharing a quiet understanding amid the chaos of the room. She gave you a weak smile and kept your eyes stayed locked together for too long. Later on, the moderator announced the end of the conference and the spell broke, pulling you back into reality. You broke your gaze and hurriedly gathered your stuff, readying to leave. You just felt like this was a better way to actually close this chapter… again, for the nth time. But it felt better than the last time, like you'd gone full circle.

As the conference ended, Elisa rushed towards you. She excused herself through the crowd, brushing off the journalists trying to ask more questions. You didn’t notice her make her way to you as you just rushed to get out of there and back to your fiancé. ”Fifteen,” She exclaimed out, hoping it would catch your attention. With that, you turned around. You saw her, standing a few meters from you. You paused for a pensive second. Shyly, you walked closer to her. You two were pressed awkwardly between the chairs scattered about and the people making their way out of the room. “Hey, Elisa.” You responded. She gave you a smile. “I like your hair.” She said, commenting on your haircut. “I mean… I saw it in Jackie’s Instagram story before but looks better in person.” You awkwardly thanked her and consciously touched your hair. “Oh, thanks.” There was another moment of awkwardness before Elisa began speaking again. ”D-do you wanna talk for a moment?” She said as she gestured towards the private area where her team was settling down. You hesitated but you nodded. A few people greeted her with congratulations and niceties as you made your way to a quiet corner.

Her teammates were packing up to leave. You caught a glimpse of Jackie who just gave you a smile and a wave; she seemed to understand what was happening and did not want to bother this moment. You both slipped away to a quiet corner, seeking refuge from the chatter and excitement that filled the room. The atmosphere felt charged, and the intimacy of this moment took you by surprise. “So… I didn’t expect to see you.” She started again. “Jackie never mentioned that you were…” ”Yeah, yeah,” You interjected with your words tumbling out a bit too quickly. “I’m in the city for a couple of weeks. She nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting into a small smile. “It’s so nice… seeing you again.” She complimented, holding your gaze a bit too intimately. “You look great.” You felt a warmth spread through you at her compliment, but unconsciously, you crossed your arms, as if trying to shield yourself from trying to be too friendly.

“You too… and congratulations, by the way.” You responded. “There’s a number of Lyon and Paris FC fans in the office that were very disappointed whenever PSG won but… I was always secretly rooting for you guys.” A chuckle escaped her lips, but you noticed the way her eyes flickered, as if taking in your reserved body language. She took a deep breath, her expression shifting slightly. “Jackie did mention you’re the head of this new media company,” she said, her voice softer now. “You must be… happy?” You nodded and genuinely smiled. “Yes, I’m really happy.” You responded. “And you?” For a moment, her face grew serious, and she looked down, as if gathering her thoughts and courage. You watched her closely, sensing a vulnerability beneath her confident exterior. Then, she looked up, taking a step closer. “Look, I—” she began, but hesitation crept into her words. Another deep breath, and this time, her eyes fell to the ring on your finger, the light catching the stone. ”Oh,” She said, surprise coloring her tone. She couldn't hide her reaction and her staring. "I guess there are other congratulations to be said.”

An awkward silence settled between you, the air thick with unspoken words. You felt a twinge of pain at the sudden shift, a flash of “what could have happened if it was us instead” darting through your mind. But it quickly faded as you’ve made yourself aware of the present. Here you were, two complete people. Six years ago, you left with broken up hearts after you had damaged each other. One year ago, you picked on each other’s last remaining chip, threatening to return to what you two were. But now, here you were. If your lives seemed so different a year ago… now, it seemed like you were in completely diverging paths. A quiet sadness lingered in the space between you, intertwined with a flicker of something resolute. You exchanged genuine smiles, a silent understanding dawning that this was the real closure you both needed.

Elisa’s smile softened, taking on a warmth that felt both comforting and vulnerable. “You know, I never reciprocated,” she said, her words almost a whisper, catching you off guard.

“Hm?” you replied curiosly.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, her gaze drifting as if she were contemplating. When she looked back at your eyes, you could see so much vulnerability and warmth in her eyes that it made your heart race. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

You paused, the question hanging in the air. You paused with a racing mind. There was so much to be said about your new dreams, aspirations, goals. You couldn't find the right words.

Then, unexpectedly, a laugh bubbled up from within you — unexpected but genuine. It didn't take long for Elisa to chuckle along with you. The laughter felt freeing, as if it released the tension that had built up.

You didn’t respond, but you felt like you didn’t have to. Your eyes locked together and you gave her a warm smile, feeling a surge of affection. You said, “It was so nice knowing you, Elisa." Her smiled shifted slightly with an unreadable look in her eyes. She responded with a nod and a genuine tone. “And it was nice loving you.”

i love you too much to drift completely wait for me, i'll be back because you hold in my tide i would die a thousand times just to see you in another life — "love letter from the sea to the shore" - delaney bailey

a/n: thank you for reading this fic! please reblog if you liked it! this is my first time writing angst so please be nice 🙏 anyway, this was so enjoyable to write hehe. if any of you want to see me write about anything else, just send me a message or an ask!

[wileys-russo]

childhood sweethearts (10) II a.russo x reader

playlist one two three four five six seven eight nine

childhood sweethearts (10) II a.russo x reader

"jesus." you mumbled to yourself, wincing at the bright beam of sunlight which blinded you as you cracked an eye open, rolling onto your stomach and exhaling deeply.

thats when you realised, these weren't the same bedsheets you'd changed over yesterday, the rattan bedhead behind you also wasn't yours, in fact this bed was not yours. given you knew your best friends house almost as well as your own you also knew this was not her spare bedroom either.

"oh christ." you hissed clutching your pounding head as you shot up in the unfamiiar bed, entirely too fast for the lack of water and abundance of alcohol still left in your bloodstream.

taking a moment and a deep breath you opened your eyes a little slower this time, looking around the unfamiliar room as your eyebrows knitted into a hopelessly confused frown.

lifting up the crisp white duvet you sighed a little in relief seeing you were fully clothed, though just exactly whose clothes these were that you were currently wearing was still a mystery to you. fumbling around to grab your phone you noticed a glass of water and two small white pills beside it on the bedside table.

having no clue where you were you were hardly about to ingest anything left wordlessly for you, for all you knew the water could be tampered with or the pills could be any assortment of drugs.

your confusion deepened though seeing your phone was fully charged, realizing whoever's house you were currently in had not only brought you home, changed you and neatly hung up your dress from last night on the back of the door but also made sure your phone had been on charge all night.

your vision adjusting to the sunlight streaming in through the open window meant you started to actually take in your settings, frown returning at the assortment of trophies and medals littering the walls and shelves in the corner.

hoping they might help you to put together the pieces of the puzzle you were currently living in you swung yourself out of bed, shivering a little as a crisp breeze whipped in through the open window and you made your way over.

but before you could even inspect the silverware your eyes were drawn to a large frame hanging on the other wall that you'd somehow missed in your hungover state, and there was no mistaking that infamous number and five letter word among the grass stains littering the england jersey.

23, russo.

you weren't sure if it was panic or relief which flooded your body now you'd finally cracked the mystery of just who it was who'd brought you home last night, which admittedly you were struggling to remember much of.

you jumped in surprise as your phone buzzed repeatedly on the bed, screen lighting up with a flood of notifications.

iMessages from; alessia r

10:04am - hey, i'm sure you have a lot of questions and are probably not feeling the greatest this morning. i'd totally understand if you left but i'm in the kitchen cooking if you wanted breakfast and a chat before you go :)

10:04am - sorry i don't know why the ':)' felt passive aggressive? lol

10:05am - maybe i'm overthinking this

10:05am - no im definitely overthinking this sorry

10:05am - sorry i'll stop messaging you now

10:06am - oh there's advil on the table too

10:07am - i am in the kitchen cooking though so i really could have just come and said this in person but i don't even know if you're awake or still here or anything

10:08am - also didn't want to freak you out

10:10am - sorry i promise im not usually such a spam texter lol

despite your mixture of both panic and relief at the fact you were in alessia's home and had spent the night you couldn't help but let out a small smile at the influx of messages, imagining the way she'd nervously ramble through the same sentences would she have come and spoke to you in person.

though the blonde wasn't wrong, you were far from feeling the greatest and you did have questions, the main one being why the hell you ended up in her spare bed and not at home in your own.

placing down your phone you rubbed your face tiredly, and now knowing where you were you were quick to down the pills and glass of water, not realizing just how dry your mouth felt until you had.

you spent a few more minutes ticking over in your head everything that you could remember, trying desperately to piece together the night from start to finish, but there was still a significant amount of gaps and right now there was only one person who could help you to fill them.

so with a deep breath and a long exhale your hand fell to the doorknob, tugging it open and being immediately hit with the smell of bacon and coffee.

alessia heard you before she saw you, the slight squeak of the door all she needed for her entire body to snap to attention, and with a glance up her eyes met yours, relieved to see no signs of distress or anger in your features at what was likely an uncomfortable situation to be waking up to.

"hi." you sent her a small smile which the blonde returned, and when she noticed it didn't seem you were in a rush to leave gesturing for you to take a seat at the bench. "coffee?" alessia offered as you shook your head declining politely, the thought of that already setting your stomach into a churn.

"water then?" the striker smiled as you accepted a bottle from the fridge gratefully, taking a large mouthful before pressing it to your forehead. "did you sleep alright?" alessia asked, slight concern present in her gaze which flickered between you and the food cooking on the stovetop.

"i think so? i don't really remember going to sleep if i'm honest."

~

"-then i got you out of the taxi and helped you inside and into bed." alessia finished recounting her recollection of events, shoveling another mouthful of breakfast into her mouth as you nodded along.

"i'm sorry you didn't really get a say in any of it. i was just worried about you hitting your head or falling over and having no one there to check up on you." alessia admitted softly, refusing to meet your eye line as she stared down at her plate of food as if it was the most interesting one she'd ever seen.

"hey less." you noticed her internal battle right away as her eyebrows knit into a frown, tapping your fork lightly against your plate to catch her attention.

"i appreciate that you were just looking out for me, thats what friends do right?" you smiled trying to be reassuring as alessia nodded, seemingly a little more settled. though unbeknownst to you that singular word was like a fork to her heart, friends. that's all the two of you were, friends.

and alessia needed to get out of her own head and realise that, or she risked losing you for good again and that wasn't worth the extra heartbreak it would cause her.

if it was a friend you needed then alessia would be the best one to you she possibly could be, because if thats what it took for you to stay in her life then thats all that mattered.

or at least, thats what she was telling herself.

"i can't believe that girl turned out to be such a creep. i dread to think what would have happened if you weren't there looking out for me less, thank you." your words felt heavy but you spoke gently, doing your best not to think about what might have happened had the blonde not stepped in.

"hey i'd have never let anything bad happen, i promise." alessia spoke a little more firmly, being sure to catch your eyes as a strange feeling settled in your stomach at the display of protection, nodding gratefully and putting the weird churning of your insides down to your hangover which was slowly starting to bleed away.

the two of you ate the rest of your meal in a comfortable silence, both admittedly a little lost in your own thoughts. you refused to listen to alessia's demands that you not help her wash up, the two of you also doing that task with minimal chatter between you.

"would you want to stay and watch some movies or something?" alessia blurted out suddenly, glancing to you briefly but unable to read your face her attention shifted back to the sink full of soapy water.

she had already prepared for the no from the moment that she'd asked the question, already kicking herself for being bold enough to ask after the weird situation already brewing after last night and the fact the two of you were still rebuilding things with one another.

but much to her shock, that no never came.

"yeah sure, that sounds nice."

"wait, really?" alessia asked, unsure if she'd heard you correctly as you gave her an odd look. "yeah...unless you don't want me to?" you clarified slowly, a little perplexed by her surprise as she was quick to assure you not.

"did you want a shower? i'll grab you a towel!" you bit your lip to stifle your laughter as the taller girl hurried away, tripping over her own feet in her haste and tumbling to the floor. "still don't know the size of your own legs then less?" you smiled in amusement as she stood, rubbing her tailbone with a wince.

"nah, ground just looked lonely."

~

"-i still say i could pull this off, easy." you shrugged, shoveling a handful of popcorn in your mouth. "no way! you'd be caught before you even assembled a team." alessia scoffed, doing the same.

"no! i'm a criminal mastermind." you disagreed. "you couldn't even steal a pack of gum for a dare." alessia grinned at the memory. "thats not fair! i was a dead nervous wreck and you're a terrible influence." you shook your head at her.

"terrible influence, excellent thief." alessia beamed wiggling her eyebrows. "can't wait till i leak that to the daily mail. i can see the headlines now; russo goes rough, opens up about grim life of childhood theft!" you mocked in your best newsreader voice, the older girl shoving your shoulder playfully.

again it was all too easy to fall back into your usual playful banter as if no time had passed, the two of you bickered back and forth for a moment before you shushed the blonde. "i love this scene." the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, both sat watching oceans eight.

"okay shoot, shag, marry. sandra bullock, anne hathaway, rihanna." alessia challenged, shifting her body to look at you as you let out a troubled sigh. "you can't expect me to shoot one of them!" you groaned with a shake of your head.

"i'd just shoot the guy she frames who got her arrested, marry any of them because they're all rich now and also shag, any of them!" you answered honestly, alessia laughing and accepting your answer.

"bet you i can catch more of these in my mouth in a row than you can." you challenged now, tapping the bowl of popcorn between you as alessia scoffed.

"please. you're on!"

it was a few hours later that you realized you'd fallen asleep, your eyes fluttering open feeling a little dazed and confused. the sun now having set alessia's living room was only lit up by the tv and you blinked a few times as your eyes adjusted.

it was then that you realised a warmth was enveloping you that you didn't remember being there when you were awake, and you quickly realised it was alessia's hoodie clad arm wrapped around your shoulders, your cheek pressed into her chest as the two of you were squished together on one end of her lounge.

your body tensing up at the new position you spared a glance upwards to see her eyes closed, feeling her chest moving up and down beneath you, the striker seemingly also dead asleep.

you carefully unwound her arm, hearing her stir as you sat up and shuffled a little bit further away from her, stretching out and rubbing your face tiredly.

"you alright?" you heard her ask, voice thick with sleep as she sat up with a small grunt, turning her head and cracking her neck. "i should get going, its almost dark and i have to prep for my class tomorrow." you smiled, trying to ignore the strange feelings arising in your stomach.

"course, i'll drive you." alessia exhaled deeply, clearly still tired as you hurried to shake your head. "it's literally a ten minute walk less. i'll be fine!" you smiled reassuringly, standing up and moving to grab your clothes from last night off the counter.

"you can't walk home in a dress and heels, it's freezing outside." alessia frowned, peering at you in concern over the top of the lounge. "i was fine last night!" you argued stubbornly. "you aren't drunk right now, there isn't alcohol to warm your blood stream up." alessia shot back as you struggled to come up with a response.

"i don't think that's how it works."

"just stay in my clothes, i'll get them off you another day." alessia heaved as she stood and stretched her arms up, your eyes wandering to the sliver of her toned stomach which flashed out as her hoodie rose up.

you quickly looked away feeling your cheeks warm a little. "i'll grab you some trainers." before you could even speak she'd darted off to her room, returning with a pair of brown dunks.

"might be a bit big but just do them up tight." she placed them on the table, excusing herself to use the toilet as you sat down at the table to put them on.

"ready?" alessia returned, grabbing her keys off the hook and waiting by the door. "i told you! i'll walk. driving literally five minutes away is a waste of petrol, think of the environment." you teased, bundling your belongings as she opened the front door.

"alright fair, i'll walk you then." she grabbed a puffer jacket which hung by the door, flicking her hood up and settling into it. "you're not going to take no for an answer are you?" you questioned, the blonde shaking her head firmly.

"of course not." you sighed knowingly, dumping your clothes and heels into a tote bag she offered you. "always trying to force the football on me aren't you." you tutted noticing the bright red arsenal crest donning the front of the bag and the pocket of her puffer jacket.

she shoved you with a smile grabbing her house keys and closing the door after herself, the two of you downing her front steps and starting to walk. "do you just wear this around sometimes so you get free coffees?" you smiled, tugging on her jacket.

"oh yeah absolutely. free coffees, free ice cream, free trainers and clothes, free social media abuse." alessia shot back, and though she said it jokingly you knew the element of truth which lay behind her words.

"i always knew you'd end up here anyway." you shrugged, not meeting her eyes which looked at you curiously. "where? london?" the blonde questioned with a frown.

"no you idiot. like a pro footballer, a proper one." you chuckled with a small shake of your head. "hello testing testing anyone home?" you teased, knocking on her forehead. "hey!" alessia laughed, grabbing your hands in hers as the two of you arrived out the front of your own place.

"you are still annoying as ever." the taller girl sighed, shaking her own head, your hands still clasped in hers. "i seem to remember i was always labelled the sensible, responsible friend, and you were the-" you paused to think.

"-i believe our teachers used to say you were distracting, loud mouthed, immature-" you recounted, only cut off by the blonde pulling you into a headlock not unlike she used to often when the two of you were younger.

"alessia!" you laughed, struggling to pull away. "i seem to remember this was one of the only ways to shut you up!" the striker teased, dragging you along with her to your front door.

"so immature." you mocked as she finally let you up, punching her lightly as your hand easily bounced off the thick puffer jacket covering her. "thank you. for a nice day and for last night." you smiled once the two of you had calmed down from your laughter.

"course. think that makes us even now!" alessia joked lightly, rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.

"yeah i guess it does, maybe next time we go out for a drink we agree to be the same amount of tipsy. no need for any rescuing then!" you smiled, alessia having to control the immense happiness which flooded her entire body hearing you speak so loosely about the two of you spending time together.

"like i said, i'd never let anything bad happen to you." the taller girl smiling down at you sincerely as once again the strange twinge settled in your stomach, the two of you locking eyes for just a few seconds too long as you cleared your throat.

"let me know once you get home yeah?" you raised an eyebrow, one hand hovering on your door knob as alessia nodded. the two of you stood in silence for a moment, both clearly debating the same thing as the seconds ticked by and time seemed to stall.

then like magnets, you drew toward one another.

you couldn't ever deny that a hug from her felt good, beyond good. the way her taller body encased yours, your head falling to her chest as one hand always rubbed your back and the other grazed your sides she held you with just the right amount of pressure.

but it felt familiar, too familiar.

"night less." you forced a smile as you suddenly pulled away, and then within seconds you were back inside and exhaling a breath you didn't realise you'd been holding in.

that strange feeling in your stomach not ceasing, that very same night was the first in a long time that you slept in her hoodie.

~

the rest of your week passed by in a blur. the stomach flu gracing the walls of your school had meant that your class was half its normal size with a lot of the kids out sick, which was bitter sweet.

you could no longer fend off your mothers insistence you come over for dinner so thats how your wednesday night was spent, admittedly quite enjoying a home cooked meal that you didn't have to make. it was also the night you found out your sister was pregnant with twins, a surprise for the whole family, her poor husband included.

by the time friday rolled around you were in disbelief at just how quickly the days had passed, and maybe now you could truly get behind that a four day work week was more efficient.

most of your students back and in full force from an unusual but gloriously sunny day, you'd struggled all day to keep their focus. so when it came time to take them all to the football clinic, you couldn't have been more relieved.

you gave alessia a small wave and a smile as she spotted you, falling back into conversation with your coworkers as she zoned back into the games she was running with her group.

the two of you had started to message more, the communication not constant but it was consistent. it helped ease your worries a little more that things would fall apart again right as they started to feel just slightly normal with the two of you trying to build up your friendship.

which is why you weren't surprised to find the tall blonde making her way over to you once you'd made sure your class all got off school grounds safely, and she'd assisted with the pack up of all the equipment.

wishing your fellow grade two teachers a good weekend and promising to organise drinks and dinner soon you'd turned and suddenly she was there. "hi." you smiled, pulling her into a hug much to both alessia's surprise and delight.

"hey." she murmured back, squeezing you for a second before letting go. "hope they behaved for you. god knows they were doing my head in today, bouncing off the walls!" you chuckled, alessia grinning at your words.

"definitely full of beans but a lovely bunch of kids, and they adore you. wouldn't shut up about you actually!" the striker revealed, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms, forcing you to notice just how in shape she really was as your eyes glanced over her biceps.

"fishing for information about me from my students? new low for you russo." you tutted, lips tugging into a smile as she reached out and pushed you with a roll of her eyes.

"very funny. they were actually telling me all about their excursion on monday, and how it wasn't the best one because you weren't there." she smiled softly, your heart melting a little.

"can see how much you love this, and how much it suits you. your eyes light up anytime you talk about it, you're clearly very passionate, the kids adore you and you just seem...well happy." alessia complimented as you blushed a little at her words.

"thank you lessi." you mumbled, turning to pack up your bags as she chuckled. "never could take a compliment, always so shy!" the older girl teased as you now shoved her. "i was only the shy one as a kid because you did all the talking for the pair of us, big mouth!" you hit back, alessia scoffing and holding her hand on her chest in mock offence.

"oi less!" she glanced over her shoulder, seeing leah gesture wildly at her and giving her a small thumbs up.

"i won't hold you up, enjoy your weekend less." you smiled sincerely, slinging your bag over your shoulder and going to leave but her hand shot out to gently grab your wrist.

"no no its not like that. leah just, well she wanted me to invite you round for a pizza night tonight at her place." alessia spoke, the invitation admittedly catching you quite off guard. "me?" you asked with a confused frown.

"yeah you. think you really got her on side the other night with those tequila shots." alessia chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck as she let go of your arm.

"look thats really lovely of her but fridays are sort of...my night. got a bottle of wine and some trashy reality shows calling my name." you declined as politely as you could but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"look i said invite. but with leah really its more of a courtesy to ask, if you say no she would just come over here herself and somehow either charm you into saying yes or coerce you into giving her your address so she can come and pick you up herself." alessia smiled knowingly making you laugh.

"i'm serious! she's nothing if not efficient, and very hard headed."

"lovely way to talk about the captain of england there." you teased, sparing a glance over her shoulder to see the older girl you were discussing staring at the two of you, hands planted firmly on her hips.

"well if i've not got a choice then i guess that sounds nice." you laughed giving in, getting the sense alessia was not joking about her friends insistence.

"really? great. i can take you if you like? since we're not far from each other and i know the address." alessia offered as you agreed gratefully, also knowing you'd be far less nervous walking in with her than arriving by yourself.

"i'll come and get you around like six?" she checked her watch and raised an eyebrow as you nodded, that gave you around two hours to get ready and psych yourself up.

"yeah that sounds good, i'll see you at six."

~

"hello! you came, lovely." you were pulled right into a warm hug by leah the moment she'd opened the door, alessia smiling at the sight as she and leah hugged before she lead you both inside.

"i'll give you the grand tour later but i'll introduce you to the girls. don't believe a word they say unless it's about less and a story about her falling over something at training." leah sent alessia a wolfish grin over her shoulder.

"oh i can promise i've got more." you smiled, alessia huffing and poking you in the back with a glare only making leah chuckle. "i'll be holding you to that later mate. but this is laura, lia, beth, viv and kim." leah introduced you pointing to each girl who smiled, introducing you back to them as alessia moved to greet them all.

"i would like to formally apologise that the last time you saw me i couldn't keep my head up." you joked awkwardly toward beth, remembering her from the group alessia was with on the weekend.

"ah don't worry about it. who hasn't had a big night with some regrets!" the girl waved off your worries, hugging you and pulling you down to talk with her and her girlfriend viv.

~

"so have they only left you in charge because you're italian?" you teased, moving away from the small group in the living room and joining alessia in the kitchen where she was busy kneading the pizza dough.

you'd been here an hour now and felt much more at ease than you'd spent the entire afternoon worrying about, all of alessia's friends and team mates nothing but welcoming and kind.

you were however grateful it wasn't the entire team, just a small handful of them with nothing much better to do, and based on your conversations with them this seemed to be the norm most nights that someone would be round since leah couldn't and didn't cook for herself.

"laura and leah are supposed to be helping me but laura just keeps eating everything she chops up and leah keeps getting fomo about what the girls are talking about and what she's missing out on." alessia chuckled with a playful roll of her eyes.

you offered to help her out, laura and lia joining the two of you after a while, your combined hands making quick work of the prep as lia called the other girls over to start assembling their pizza's.

"pineapple! honestly and you call yourself an italian." you tutted with a disgusted wince at alessia's choice of toppings. "hey! pineapple belongs on pizza thanks." she bumped her shoulder gently into yours as a debate quickly broke out among the group over the seemingly hot topic.

"yeah sorry, half italian." you smirked, laura laughing at the comment. "doesn't even speak the language!" you teased further. "do too! well, a little bit." alessia frowned making you smile.

"oi! hands to yourself thanks." you bumped into her as she stole a piece of pepperoni off your pizza with a grin. "hey listen to your own words!" the taller girl mocked as you dropped a handful of spinach onto hers.

"you wanted it anyway!" you laughed as she spread it out. "not with your grubby little hands all over it." she shot back. "less!" you pushed her away with her hip as she in retaliation dropped a few cut up tomatoes onto your perfectly curated pizza.

"no! stop it." you laughed as she grabbed a piece and tried to force it into your mouth as you pushed her away and attempted to hide behind laura.

"and they are just friends?" lia murmered quietly to leah who stood beside her, watching the two of you. leah only gave her a look in return which said something alone the lines of 'i'll explain more later' as lia smiled in silent understanding, the two heading outside to put their pizzas in to cook.

"right! you three, stop messing about. you two are on pizza supervision duty, and laur is on clean up!" leah clapped to gain your attentions as laura groaned loudly, her protests falling on deaf ears as viv stepped in to help.

"now you wouldn't happen to be meddling, would you williamson?" beth accused, nodding to you and alessia stood alone outside with a raised eyebrow, also having been watching how the pair of you were so comfortable in your interactions.

"who me? why bethany i would never." leah grinned holding a hand to her chest. "less is different round her though, not in a bad way. just-" the blonde struggled to think of the right word.

"more playful, outgoing, and also very clearly pining over her?" "yeah you know what that just about sums it up."

~

"since when are you so into country music?" you laughed as alessia drove the two of you home, the last three songs in her playlist all of that genre you'd not ever known her to be so passionate about.

"cause it's great! i hate that it gets so much shit." she rolled her eyes, only turning it up louder and to your amusement starting to sing along, turning to grin at you every now and then, the melodic chime of your laughter echoing around her car only spurring her on further.

"well i actually had a really nice night less, thank you." you smiled sincerely as alessia parked out the front of your place, turning her music right down and putting her mercedes into park.

"even if i've learnt that you now like country music and pineapple on pizza." you grimaced in disgust, gagging as you unbuckled yourself. "least i didn't drop my pizza!" alessia quipped back with a smirk as your cheeks flushed bright red.

"that was laura's fault, she tripped me!" you defended with a huff, the memory of how embarrassed you'd been flooding your body, though despite a few light hearted jokes her friends hadn't made you feel that way.

"mhm i'm sure." alessia hummed with a grin and a nod as you playfully shoved her forehead. "i've been hanging around you too much, your clumsiness is starting to infect me like a rash." you scratched at your arms before slipping out of the car.

though as you walked around her car to the curb and alessia sent you a knee buckling smile through the window, you had a sudden realization that you didn't want to say goodbye just yet. and so before you could overthink and spiral over what that meant, you acted on impulse.

"it's not super late. would you want to come in and maybe watch a film or something?" you offered with a shy smile, alessia perking up in surprise as she nodded eagerly, internally berating herself for not trying to be a bit more subtle about it.

though it seemed her body betrayed her as well as she hastily opened her door, trying to step out and catching her foot on the curb, sending her hurtling to the ground with a thump.

"oh my god are you alright?" you hurried to help her out as she nodded with a wince, closing her door and locking her car.

"yeah yeah fine, ground just looked a bit lonely again."

~

"oh i love this!" alessia grinned as she returned from the toilet to see which movie you'd chosen, insisting that she didn't mind what you watched and hurrying off for a wee.

"still one of your favourites then?" you asked as she collapsed into your sofa nodding eagerly, the princess diaries loaded and ready to go.

"you remembered." she sent you a soft smile before you clicked play, both your hands wrapped around warm mugs of hot chocolate.

"how do you prefer him over michael?" alessia scoffed in disbelief, sprawled across your couch as you laughed. "i said i preferred his looks, not his personality! i like his blonde shaggy hair." you defended yourself as alessia gagged and you smacked her leg.

"you look like that when you dance." you teased her, pointing to the young security guard trying desperately to buck and shimmy his way across the dance floor.

"i do not!" she gasped, kicking you with her leg as you smacked her again, maybe a little harder than you intended. the two of you shared a look as if waiting for someone to say something, then within seconds she'd lunged at you.

your laughters floated around your living room, movie long forgotten as alessia desperately tried to grapple with you, the two of you rolling around and hitting and pinching one another just like you had when you were much younger.

"wait lessi watch the-" you started to warn but it was too late as she slipped off the edge of the sofa, hands curled tightly into your jumper she'd taken you down with her as she smacked her head on the coffee table and you landed on top of her with a grunt.

"fuck ow!" she groaned loudly clutching her throbbing head, both of you still laughing furiously as your face smushed into her shoulder, both your bodies vibrating with amusement against one anothers.

eventually after you'd confirmed she was okay your laughter died down into small giggles and you took a moment to catch your breath, glancing down and into her bright blue eyes.

your chests still heaving lightly trying to recover, a thick silence enveloped the room, neither of you paying attention to anything than one another when you suddenly found yourself admiring and studying over ever little feature of her face.

you couldn't explain where it came from or which cruel individual was responsible, but once more like magnets the two of you found yourself drawn together.

the longer you maintained eye contact the smaller and smaller the room seemed to become, alessia's eyes flickering down to your lips just for a fleeting second but it didn't go unnoticed.

thats when the alarm bells sounded in your head, loud and obnoxious and clearly trying to warn you of how terribly dangerous an idea this was.

but suddenly they weren't important and instead you could only focus on the small voice at the very back of your mind which egged you on to continue.

curiosity took hold of your mind, causing you to wonder how she tasted, how her lips would feel on yours again and in turn the effect it would have on your entire body, this time not fueled on by emotion or sadness or rage.

unable to lay there in limbo anymore, debating over and over all the possible pros and cons of the next ten seconds you once more let your impulses take over.

your hand moved to brush a few strands of her golden blonde hair out of her face, having fallen out of the bun which sat on top of her head, leaning in ever so slowly.

in turn alessia's own hand came to rest on the side of your face, thumb tracing a soft circle on your cheek, ever so gently guiding your mouth within millimeters of her own.

then before either of you could object the small gap was diminished, and your lips pressed together in an ever so tender kiss.

your stomach lurched at the feeling, alessias hand moving to softly rest on the back of your neck as yours tangled in her hair, your lips moving together in perfect unison, repeating a routine that despite the time that had passed was still burned into both your minds.

like clockwork alessia knew exactly how to kiss you to send your head spinning into oblivion like a top. ever so hesitantly her tongue swiped across your bottom lip, hand squeezing the back of your neck just a little bit as your mouth parted for her on instinct, her tongue roaming your mouth as the kiss deepened.

her hand let go of your neck, slowly slipping down to the small of your back as she tapped twice lightly, and without breaking contact for even a moment you both sat up.

alessias hands warm and familiar, gripped your hips to pull you to sit on her lap, her own legs stretched out straight as her hand returned to the back of your neck.

your own clasped her cheeks in your palms, pulling her even closer into you if that was even possible, your bodies flushed together tightly, blood racing red hot at the resuming of what once upon a time was both of your favorite past times.

but then still in a pleasure drunken haze, did reality actually kick in for the pair of you, both detaching and jumping away from one another as if you'd been electrically shocked.

you hastily sat back on the edge of the sofa as alessia scrambled to her feet, mumbling something incoherent and racing out the front door before you could even say another word, your head in the clouds and only yanked out at the sound of it slamming after her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

eleven

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 1

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you're eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy & not really edited word count: 1.3k authors note p1: don't mind me starting a new series when i have four other wips on the go :):) i love kid fics and this idea was stuck in my head so i wrote & decided to give it a go and post it. if this does well and you guys are interested, i'll do more. authors note p2: so notes about the series: i gave the readers daughter a name because i hate writing y/d/n lol of course you can change it in your head to something else if you want :) also the last name johnson is just there so i could have a full name but we all know she'll be a barzal also thank u @multifandombabes for giving me the push to post this!! happy reading & let me know what you guys think!

masterpost

In hindsight, you should have realized that it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. You did your best to avoid places you knew he would be when he was home, going to visit your grandparents or other family. Anywhere that would give you the opportunity to not be seen by him, because then you’d have to explain your brown haired, green eyed, seven year old. 

You weren’t proud of your choice to keep Nora a secret from Mat but you did what you thought was right when you were eighteen, sitting on the floor of your best friend’s bathroom four weeks after you had said goodbye to Mat and staring at three positive pregnancy tests. He had just left for hockey and you didn’t want to be what held him back and as time went on, it got harder to pick up the phone so a few months after Nora was born, you erased Mathew Barzal from your life. You deleted the photos, phone numbers, social media, with the only reminder being the little girl.

And it worked fine. Until now.

Nora usually didn’t come grocery shopping with you because you always ended up taking three times as long as you normally would. Except, your sitter fell through and your mom couldn’t watch her so you had to bring her along. Which is totally fine until you run into Mat. Who has a girl with him. 

So yeah, everything was fine until now.

It’s kind of comical the way his panicked eyes dart between the three of the girls standing around him. A quick glance at Nora confirms that she’s two seconds away from saying something to Mat which will not go well since the kid has zero filter.

“Hey, you’re that hockey player mama and grandma watch on TV!” she exclaims and you want to melt straight through the floor when Mat looks at you with one eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah?” he asks, kneeling down so he’s at her level.

“Yeah,” she confirms, and then loudly whispers: “I’m not supposed to watch ‘cause some games are past my bedtime but sometimes I’ll sneak out.” 

He offers his hand and smiles. “Well, it’s nice to meet you…” he trails off, clearly hoping she’ll offer her name. You hope she just says her first name instead of announcing her full name which she tends to do lately.

“Nora,” she tells him, shaking his hand and then to your unsurprised horror, she proudly tells him her full name. “Nora Nadia Johnson.” 

He keeps the smile on his face but stiffens and gently drops her hand. 

“Cool name,” he says, still smiling but you can see the tension in his shoulders. 

“Thanks! My first name means light and my middle name-”

She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because you grab her hand, abandon your shopping cart and high tail it out of the store. She grumbles while trying to keep up with your pace and eventually you just pick her up and carry her to the car.

“What did we say about talking to strangers?” you ask while buckling her seatbelt, ignoring her annoyed sighs. 

“He wasn’t a stranger, you watch him on the TV all the time.”

“Have you ever met him?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and she mumbles something under her breath.

“What was that?”

“No,” she mumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and giving you a look that is so Mathew that you could laugh.

“Well then, he’s a stranger.” 

You leave it at that because she starts talking about the summer camp she’s starting next week. You’re only half listening, trying to get over the shock of seeing Mat and knowing he realizes that he probably has a kid you never told him about. If you were in his shoes, you would be angry so you are expecting him to show up on your doorstep later that evening but he doesn’t. Part of you wonders if the reason he doesn’t come is because of that girl he had with him but you figure if he really wanted answers, he would come regardless. 

What you’re not expecting, is a text from his sister Liana. You still see his family from time to time out in public but after you essentially ghosted Mat, they didn’t really want anything to do with you. When everybody found out you were pregnant, you lied and said it wasn’t Mat’s which nobody really believed but they couldn’t prove it and you’d used your mothers maiden name as Nora’s last name so there were no ties. You were surprised that his family didn’t tell him anyways, but you thought that perhaps they didn’t for the same reason you didn’t.

To give Mat no reason to stay here and instead, pursue his dreams and go play in the NHL. 

So a text from his sister is unexpected. 

Liana: hey, are you free for lunch tmw?

You almost delete it at first and pretend she never messaged you, but you know that there’s no going back now that Mat saw Nora. He’s not stupid. He probably went home and asked his parents about her. So you text her back a reluctant yes and agree on a spot to meet up the next day.

Nora goes to your moms house because you’re unsure if it will just be Liana who shows up, or if anyone else does. You meet up at a Starbucks and aside from the initial tension, it melts almost immediately and the two of you go back to the big sister/little sister relationship you had when you and Mat were dating. Except now, she’s all grown up.

After some catching up, the conversation turns to the reason she asked to see you. She hesitates, picking at her nails - a nervous tick you know she does - before sighing. 

“Look, everybody kind of turned their head with ‘The Nora Situation’ because it was clearly what you wanted, and it was probably what was best for Mat,” she says. “But he knows now, and he’s got questions that we can’t and won’t answer. Dad had to talk him down last night and his girlfriend went back to New York this morning.”

You wince at that, not liking that the reason his girlfriend left is because of Nora but Liana must notice because she shrugs, taking a sip of her drink.

“Honestly, she wasn’t very nice. I’m not broken up over it and Mat didn’t seem to be either.” 

Okay, that is interesting. 

“Anyway,” she continues, “this is Mat’s new number.” She slides a small piece of paper across the table and you gingerly take it. “I know you didn’t want to tell him, and I understand but he knows. So give him a chance, okay?”

You manage a nod and let her leave with the final word. All you want to do is take Nora and leave, to get as far away as you can but something inside you stops you from doing it because maybe Liana is right, and you should give Mat a choice. After all, you were the one who decided to take it away from him in the beginning. 

So later that night, after Nora is asleep, you curl up on your couch with the piece of paper and stare at it for a good fifteen minutes. Regardless of whether or not you text him, you will have to deal with this and you’d rather it be on your terms. You reluctantly type his new number in your phone and hesitate, trying to think of what to even say. This isn’t a conversation you were expecting to have with him. You type and delete a dozen messages before deciding on something simple.

To Mathew: Hey, I guess we should talk.

You take a deep breath, and hit send.

[suzukiblu]

WIP WEDNESDAY GAME

Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from @kedreeva.

It’s WIP Wednesday! This week’s theme is "total AUs" (meaning the "a completely different setting from canon" types of AU, specifically), because an anon asked me about "the alchemist's disappointment" and I decided that was a good idea. ❤️ Also I want more creechur!Kon anyway so it all works out, because like . . . literally all of these are technically a version of creechur!Kon, lol. Any other characters' related creechur-ness varies.

BE THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE IN THE FANDOM, KIDS

Here’s how it works:

I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.

Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!

Multiple requests are fine, but please send them in separate asks. Just a little easier for me to fill them that way, and also easier for people to read through the WIP tags smoothly later.

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

WIP names:

the alchemist's disappointment (( chrono || non-chrono ))

merfam drama (( chrono || non-chrono ))

selkie Kon (( chrono || non-chrono ))

stray cat strut (( chrono || non-chrono ))

[ MYSTERY BOX CREECHUR ] (( no WIP tag yet ))

snippet from “the alchemist's disappointment”:

“That . . . bastard,” the shining man says tightly. The disappointment doesn’t flinch. Flinching makes it worse. 

It isn’t allowed to flinch any more than it’s allowed to talk or look or think of itself as anything but a disappointment. 

The shining man looks away. The disappointment’s stomach twists with nausea. It doesn’t know why. It just feels like that, when no one will look at it. 

But it’s a disappointment, so it’s not allowed to feel things. 

"We'll need to . . . dispose of it, Kal. We can't leave a body like this lying around," the dark man says lowly, and the nausea in the disappointment's gut worsens into pain. 

Oh. It . . . oh. 

It . . . it thought . . . it thought its master wasn't done with it yet. It thought . . . it thought it had a little longer, still. 

It thought it might get to see the sun at least once more.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter Three

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

Today's tea: lady grey with milk and sugar.

This is totally fair warning. In this read I tried to guess some plot and you all get to watch me guess horribly incorrectly like 14 times LOL. Please enjoy watching me slowly breakdown through all the stages of grief across three pages of notes as I continuously watch my theories fall apart.

Let's go chapter three!

Yesterday I took back my theory that the brides were disappearing willingly because her head fell off. BUT, now that I know that the head was actually a wooden puppet body, bets are off. I am reinstating my theory. p67

Shit. Ignore me. LOL. It was intentionally a fake wooden puppet. I should have read like 1 more paragraph before getting excited. p68

I am still keeping the theory. AND! I think that torn-skirt-girl is in on it. Like not plotting or maliciously, but she knows what's up. p69

Good for Xie Lian! That guy deserves to be hit! What an asshole! p71

This is so funny to me. Mu Qing has serious FOMO and just needs to be involved in everything. He's just constantly hanging out in the communication array for no reason (the reason is FOMO). Bro really doesn't want to miss anything. p72

I am loving this monster threat level system. Wrath seems kind of intense though. p73

Yes yes! Let's get that bride xie lian agenda! Such a little honorable cutie. Is his disguise good? Nope. But it is workable! p74

I'm WHEEZING why is this so funny. Xie Lian, DRAG; "No, miss, please don't misunderstand, this isn't a hobby of mine". p77

This entire drag situation is even funnier because he did not need to be made up, he literally could have learned some transformation magic. But nope, this man is like; but drag though?

I am losing this battle. Okay, it is indeed a monster. BUT I'm not set on if it only takes disgruntled brides or what. p82

I love how Xie Lian is having the best time in this bridal sedan, "I've been smiling ever since I mounted the bridal sedan" p82

Respect because as a concept, the binu is very cool. But also, horrific as a scavenger. pp84-85

WOAH! WAIT! His wrist wrap is sentient?? What the heck! I love this so much. p95

ah okay! The anticipation!!! I need to know who/what this wrath/evil threat is! p88 (clarity: this was me in response to the handsome gentleman helping Xie Lian out of the carriage).

As evil as this guy might be, he seems so sweet!!! pp92-93 (see clarity above LOL)

oooo, the butterflies are back! p93

Okay so reading a bit more I am so excited! I am assuming we just met the other protagonist/love interest?? That did not feel like the evil wrath level threat.

weird, weird. The plot thickens! Why a suppression/stealth array hiding a temple to Ming Guang??? p95

OMG. 17 zombie (not really but i'm calling them that) brides! I have officially decided to respectfully toss all of my "theories". LOL these brides are very dead. p96

I hate this man so much (xiao-Pengtou). You know what, if he were to die here I wont even be mad. p99

Oh dang another cliffhanger!!! I hope the wrath level threat is not torn-skirt-girl! I really like her. p102

I thought the opening of this book would be a little mystery

But ofc not because it is MXTX and every sentence has meaning. It feels like so much foundation was dropped in this chapter! I need; more butterfly man, xiao-pengtou to meet his inevitable end, to meet the wrath threat level!

[queenlua]

your post about adding excitement to a story by increasing the pressure on a character was not something i’d heard before and i found it super useful. are there any other pieces of writing advice you find foundational and would be willing to share?

glad you found that tidbit helpful!

first, i’ll give my default caveat of “i’m just some guy on the internet, so take this with however many grains of salt you need”

plus my general caveat on… all writing tips/tidbits/advice? which is:

i find that, past the basics of “knowing about exposition/rising action/climax/denouement” and such, most writing advice ends up operating as a dusty old toolbox i open up now and again.  something in my story's not working; i’m not sure how to fix it; i pull out my little toolbox of tidbits i’ve accumulated over the years and see if any of the screwdrivers and wrenches in there actually fit.  the kinds of tidbits that are useful for me may be ACTIVELY DETRIMENTAL to someone else; someone who chronically overtightens their screws probably shouldn’t be told “have you tried tightening the screws more :D;;;;” or whatever.  and in particular what works for me is probably oriented towards genre-y stuff.

BUT, Y’KNOW, GIVEN ALL THAT

here’s the tidbits i find myself returning to over & over!

* three is a very powerful number.  i have a tendency to write myself into situations where you have Two Interesting Characters Doing Verbal Head-Games With Each Other, and that stuff can be tremendously fun, but it tends to run out of steam very quickly.  adding a third character to the scene combinatorially increases the dynamics available for you to play with.  so if you’re stuck, throw someone else in there.  (relatedly this is why awful dinner parties are Peak Literature™)

* if you’re writing a romance: put a sticky note on your monitor that says “WHY CAN’T THEY BE TOGETHER NOW?”  if at any point you don’t have a good answer to that, you’ve fucked up; rework the plot.

* this is a shlocky tidbit from the South Park creators that totally works: list all the scenes in your story, and then, between each scene, see if they are connected by THEREFORE or BUT versus AND THEN.

so., e.g., “the ocean levels in Tellius are rising, THEREFORE kilvas wants to migrate from their sinking islands and onto Serenes, BUT Reyson is opposed to that move, THEREFORE…”

that gives you a stronger structure than, like, idk, “the war ends AND THEN kilvas moves to Serenes AND THEN Reyson and Naesala get in a fight…”

you want it to be mostly “THEREFORE/BUT” and very few “AND THEN”s.  just a tighter overall plot structure

* each scene should accomplish at least two things.  the most common two things for a scene to do are “advance the plot” and “develop a character”; i have a hazy memory that when i first read this advice, there was a list of, like, 1-3 other things a scene’s allowed to accomplish?  but i cannot REMEMBER that list, lol.  but use your imagination; i’m sure you can think of another valid thing.

i think this is more useful as debugging/editing advice than upfront advice—often, when you’re writing something, every scene will *feel* necessary, but upon reread, you’ll notice your attention is drifting, this doesn’t quite feel tight enough… and you’ll realize, oh, ugh, i just had three scenes in a row that existed Solely To Hit A Plot Beat; why don’t i combine those three scenes into one, condense the action, and also make sure a character’s doing something actually interesting/new while i’m at it.

(i think i see this plaguing a lot of novels that come out of nanowrimo in particular.  i mean, not me, because i don’t have the fast-twitch muscle required to do nanowrimo, but when i read other people’s nanowrimo stuff, it often feels like it was galloping through a bunch of plot beats without bothering to do anything else interesting.)

* if you're stuck on a particular scene/chapter, stuff to try:

delete the current sentence and start over

delete the current paragraph and start over

change the font and reread what you've got so far

open the document on a different screen and reread what you've got so far

print the thing out and reread what you've got so far

open a brand new document and rewrite the whole scene/chapter/etc from the start (NO PEEKING AT THE ORIGINAL VERSION)

go outside and look at a bird for a bit

take a nap

shoot a whiny discord message to a friend about it (even if it's solely rubber ducking, this can be helpful) (though if you have any friends who are good at writing AND ALSO willing to put up with your shit and offer helpful feedback AND ALSO you're not too mortified by your writing dilemma to share it with them, that's even better) (btw, any friends reading this: if you want to opt-in to messages like this from me, LET ME KNOW lmao, i'm really shy on this front!)

if you're DESPERATE: open a new document and just write out, like, "Character X wants Y. Character Z wants Q. These are the sources of pressure on character X. These are the sources of pressure on character Y. I want R to happen but I feel stuck because of M" and so on, just... really trying to dissect what the scene's trying to accomplish? most often, the outcome of this is, i'll notice in that "thinking aloud" document that i'm circling around some central question that I Don't Know The Answer To, and i need to answer that question to usefully proceed. sometimes this will be painfully obvious in hindsight. (e.g., sometimes you'll go back to your outline and you'll realize you've literally just hit the bullet point that says UGH OKAY THEY GET TOGETHER SOMEHOW I'LL FIGURE THIS OUT LATER, and you're like, ugh, fuck, it's now later, why is past-me such a bitch!) but them's the breaks. (in particular, i remember getting catastrophically stuck on a "meet the parents" story until i realized i was... avoiding actually writing out the "meet the parents" scene... which feels "well duh" in hindsight! but, like, hey, in order to write that scene, i needed to commit to some specific decisions on What The Story Was About, the same way artists gotta eventually erase a bunch of sketchy lines to commit to the Lines They Will Actually Be Inking, and that decision point feels hard and scary and no wonder i waffled lol)

okay so that's all the super-specific-concrete advice. here's some stuff that's more big-picture but i've still found personally useful:

* i once went to a talk where a novelist said she doesn't start writing a novel until she knows exactly what she wants it to look like on the bookshelf. as in: is it a schlocky trade paperback or is it a beautiful hardcover thing with fancy paper? does it have IMPACT FONT for the title or something handwriting-y? how many pages is it? and so on.

in service of this aim, she never writes any of the novel (no notes, no outlines, no snippets of dialogue, nothing) until she has that image vividly in her mind + she can't physically STAND not writing it any longer. for her, this process allows her to be sure that she knows what her novel is about—not necessarily in every single detail or plot beat (though, often she has a lot of that in mind before starting), but in terms of "what am i trying to say," "how do i want the world to look at it," etc, and she's found through hard experience that, while it's easy for her to start novels, it's often hard for her to finish them unless she has that crystal-clear image in her mind.

i can’t quite do her purity-of-method (my brain is scrambled eggs; i HAVE to write down snatches of dialogue and such before i get started on something or it all leaks out of my ears), but i see a lot of wisdom in it.  i do a lot of prewriting & thinking & scribbling out little snatches of dialogue and such before i really begin writing. i think everyone develops their own little heuristic for when they can be reasonably confident they know what their story is about, so you should try and figure out what that heuristic is for you & learn to trust it if you can? (a common one you hear a lot is "i have to know how the story ends / what the ending feels like," which makes sense; endings usually have a lot to do with what a story is About. i know NK Jemisin mentioned once she can't really start until she's nailed down the voice, and that also makes sense to me—you read The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms and it's very clear that her choice of voice is a large part of what drives the story, it has a propulsive force of its own; it's The Thing that blasts the whole thing open for her. for me, i'm not sure i have a tidy heuristic, but there's a point where i've written enough snatches of dialogue plus bits of scenes that i've unlocked some core thing that i'm really excited about—i keep spinning out bits of dialogue and setting and such that are related to that thing, i'm so excited to see how that thing plays out across the story, i look at my outline and see only possibilities and wonder instead of connective tissue that needs to be filled in... and then, yeah, i'll know i'm cooking, but not one second before!)

note that the story is allowed to surprise me & change on me once i get properly started—my longfic changed substantially when i realized Reyson’s perspective needed a LOT more room to breathe than i had accounted for in the outline, and then changed substantially again when i realized the butterfly-effect-style implications that keeping Leanne around had for my entire storyline—the ending wound up being TOTALLY different than what i'd originally planned!—but like, in that case, i don't think my sense of what the story was about ever fundamentally changed; i just added two more huge elements that orbited that about-ness. if that makes sense.

* i think about this passage from Bayles & Orland's Art and Fear a lot. i'm actually not sure that advice is helpful for literally everyone—i do see people who somehow manage to write the same fucking thing over and over, for years and years, and never seem to develop their craft or make any movement toward saying something interesting.

but i do think most people are developing something even when it feels like "the same thing over and over," and as someone who probably tends toward too little output, i found it a useful reminder that returning to familiar forms, themes, and characters across pieces is intensely useful if it gets you in front of the keyboard again, so don't stress over novelty too much. (i find, if i'm still returning to a particular form/theme/character, it's because i feel like i still have some interesting new perspective on it that's genuinely worth exploring. if i have actually exhausted a topic, i'll know it because i myself will get bored, but anyone else's opinion is irrelevant!)

* ursula k le guin's steering the craft is more focused on craft & nuts n bolts than plot-debugging-type-things but i thought i'd give it a shout-out here because i've just found it so perpetually useful over the years. in particular we could all stand to read our stuff aloud more often; that fixes a lot of problems and she goes on about that in detail in chapter 1 haha

* oh, also, re: my "put more pressure on the characters" advice—you've probably already intuited this, but i think i found that framing more useful than the kinds of "raise the stakes / make sure every character has Stakes / Wants Something" advice you're likely to find in screenwriting workshops, because this framing feels like a more... abstract... way of talking about the same thing?

like, often those two types of advice are addressing the same problem, but when i start off thinking about "where is the pressure on these characters," i don't just have to think "time to heap more pressure on them," i can also, like. observe. where the pressure points in my work are. i'm not presupposing a solution. maybe there's a ton of pressure but it's the wrong kind of pressure. maybe there's a ton of pressure but there's nowhere satisfying for that pressure to go. it's very woo/fuzzy but yeah i use the general principle of "pressure" to frame a LOT of how i think about story construction; maybe that'll be useful to you!

* FINALLY, i don't have a nice packaged heuristic/tidbit/tool-shaped thing for this one yet, but i've been thinking a lot about how much perspective really Changes Everything about a work. your choice of PoV should be exceedingly deliberate; you should be taking maximum advantage of your choice of PoV at all times (what do they know? what don't they know? how do they think about the world? etc); also if you're editing something and you're noticing a lot of unconscious perspective breaks, that's a warning sign something's going badly wrong in how you're approaching the story overall—perspective should just be unconsciously correct if you're hitting stuff right imo

OK WOW SORRY THAT GOT SO LONG but hope at least one of these lil bullets are useful for ya! happy writing~

[lilbrainbigheartz]

too dumb to do a title

My note: I twisted my ankle while cleaning up my room. So, y/n will also have a twisted ankle today lol. warnings: none Summary: Stu and fem! girlfriend reader were cleaning up after one of his hosted house parties and reader twists her ankle. Stu takes care of her. fluffy

Cleaning up after one of Stu’s legendary house parties was never fun, but it was necessary. Between the spilled drinks, crushed chips or some leaving their beer bottles on random places, it was some work to get the place like it was before, normal again. Especially of how big his house is and of how popular his parties also are. You just had just finished picking up some empty beer bottles when, thanks to a stray piece of trash on the floor- you slipped (what an unlucky mf u are).

Pain shot through their ankle as you twist your ankle and catch yourself in time against the kitchen counter from falling.

Your boyfriend, Stu, who did not see you yet, called out: "Babyyy, check this out!!", as he came back into the kitchen his grin dropped and he was at your side in seconds hands on your waist. "Whoa, whoa, whoa— babe, what happened?"

You didn‘t respond right away and he put your arm over his shoulder at first, before scooping you up bridal style.

"Stu- what the hell?", you smacked his shoulder.

"Well, you are officially out of commission! No more cleaning for you Doctor Macher is on the case."

"You are not a doctor!"

"I could be," he countered, dramatically kicking open his bedroom door. "But medical school would require, like….too much effort"

He plopped you onto his bed with so much enthusiasm that you bounced. Before you could protest, he threw a pillow behind your back and knelt beside you, inspecting your ankle with way too much focus.

"Hmm. Yep. Looks like a Grade-A Ow-ie"

"Wow, how scientific."

Ignoring your sarcasm, he rushed out of the room and came back with a whole tray an ice pack, one of his oversized hoodies, a bag of gummy worms, and also a beer (tf?)

"Alright, here’s what we’re gonna" he declared. "Step one: Ice pack! boom!"

He carefully placed it on your ankle. "Step two: Comfort hoodie, because duh!"

He helped you slip it on, grinning as you instantly melted into the fabric. "Step three: Snacks. Because my baby deserves it".

He tossed the gummy worms into your lap.

"And the beer?"you asked, raising a brow.

"Doctor’s orders. It helps with the pain."He winked, popping the cap off and handing it to you.

You rolled your eyes but took a sip anyway, sighing as the cold bottle pressed against your palm. "You’re ridiculous."

"And you love it" He plopped down beside you, draping an arm over your shoulders.

"Now, if you really wanna heal fast, I highly recommend an all-night cuddle session. Maybe some makeout therapy? Totally proven to work."

You shot him a look at the last part a bit unamused and then shake your head in a chuckle.

As annoying as Stu could be, he was also kind of the best when it came to taking care of you well, his version of taking care of you, anyway. "So, Doctor Macher," you teased, shifting slightly to get more comfortable in his oversized hoodie, "what’s your official medical advice for a twisted ankle?"

Stu tapped his chin dramatically, pretending to think. "Well darlin‘ ,I’d prescribe—mm, let’s see— absolutely no movement for the next, like, twelve to twenty-four hours."

"Boy that sounds more like an excuse to keep me here for the night."

"Noooo……..okay yeah. But shush! No one asked you that. You are not allowed to leave this bed, so that means you're stuck with me. You poor, poor thing."

You rolled your eyes, but honetly, you didn’t mind. Your ankle was throbbing, and the thought of trying to limp all the way home sounded miserable.

"Alright fine, but under one conditi-". before you could finish your sentence, Stu covered with his hand your mouth.

"blah blah blah— Babe, I rescued you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I actually wanted to ask if we can do a movie night.", you repeated the thing you wanted to say earlier again.

"Sure!! What’s the verdict, babe? Slasher flick or dumbass comedy?"

You raised a brow. "You do realize we just spent an entire night cleaning up after one of your parties, right? I don’t have the energy to watch people getting stabbed right now."

He gasped again, way too dramatically. "Love. Who are you right now? No horror? Is the ankle injury affecting your brain too?"

"Just pick a stupid movie, doofus!" you muttered, throwing a gummy worm at him.

Stu caught it in his mouth, grinning as he chewed. "Done and done.“ He grabbed the remote, flipping through his extensive (and very chaotic) VHS collection before finally landing on some ridiculous comedy.

During the movie, Stu had gone quiet, which was rare. Usually, he had some dumb joke to fill any silence, but right now, he just held you, his breathing slow and steady against your back. His fingers still traced absentminded shapes on your stomach, and every now and then, he pressed a small kiss to your temple, your shoulder, just little touches that felt instinctual, like he needed to remind himself you were there.

And honestly? You needed it.

You sighed softly, turning in his arms so you could bury your face against his chest. Stu immediately adjusted, wrapping himself around you even tighter, as if sensing what you needed before you even said it. His chin rested on top of your head, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear.

For a while, you just lay there, breathing him in—the faint scent of his cologne, the lingering smell of beer from earlier, and that warmth that only Stu had.

"I love you," you murmured, the words slipping out as you gripped the fabric of his shirt a little tighter.

Stu chuckled softly, pressing another kiss to your forehead. "Oh I know, babe. You worship me."

You rolled your eyes, but instead of teasing him back, you inhaled deeply and whispered,

"No, I mean I love you. Forever."

Stu stiffened slightly. It was small, almost unnoticeable, but you felt it. Like your words hit something deep inside him, something he wasn’t used to letting people see.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. His fingers twitched against your back, like he was trying to grasp the weight of what you’d just said.

"Forever, huh?" His voice was quieter now, almost unsure.

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your amber eyes searching his blue ones. "Yeah" ,you whispered. "Forever."

Something flickered in his expression, something vulnerable, real. His usual cocky smirk was nowhere to be found. Instead, his lips parted slightly, his brows furrowing just a little, like he didn’t know how to process this.

Stu Macher, the guy who could joke about anything, who was always loud, always playing around, suddenly looked small.

"Hey,“ you murmured, reaching up to cup his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek. "I mean it."

He swallowed, his throat bobbing under your hand. "You… you really mean that?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I do."

For a second, it almost looked like he was struggling to believe it, like he wanted to reach out and grab onto the words but was afraid they’d slip through his fingers.

Then, without warning, he pulled you into him, burying his face in your shoulder. His arms wrapped around you so tight it was almost crushing, but you didn’t mind. You just held onto him just as tightly, letting him feel it, letting him know you weren’t going anywhere.

Stu exhaled shakily, his lips pressing against your neck in the softest kiss you’d ever felt from him. "I love you too" he whispered, so quietly that if you weren’t listening for it, you might’ve missed it. "Forever."

Your heart ached in the best way as you tangled your fingers into his hair, holding him as close as humanly possible.

For once, Stu wasn’t making a joke. He wasn’t hiding behind sarcasm or theatrics. He was just here, with you, holding on like you were something real.

And you were.

Forever.

[a-vibing-potato]

GHOSTFACERS (Supernatural, Season 3, Episode 13)

Literally absolutely completely ADORED this. It's up there with Tall Tales in my book, and scenes keep playing in my head but I don't know if I actually have anything specific to say lol (but Dean and Sam driving by real slow in the Impala while Sam shines his flashlight on the Ghostfacers who they totally saw and heard run behind the bush, and still see and hear hiding behind the bush, while rock music plays bc the windows of the car are down is going to live in my brain rent free until I get to Season 4 where Cas will inevitably take that place).

Also YES LET MY BOYS FUCKING CUSS. Shocked me to my very core that Sam was the first of them to do just that, and that he did it TWICE but Dean finally getting to say fuck? (even though it's bleeped, it's so obvious) absolutely legendary. Him saying fucking three times in one sentence? Honestly more canon than canon to me.

SAM WITH THE PARTY HAT AND BLOOD CAKED ON HIS NOSE AND UNDER HIS EYE WHILE IT'S MY PARTY PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND IS TOP TIER. YES PLEASE. DELICIOUS. BEAUTIFUL SHOTS IN THE NIGHT VISION. But he looks so smol :( and helpless :( compared to the monster/dude. Which is TERRIFYING because he is 6'4"!! What is bigger than him!

Anyway, said I had nothing to say and ranted anyway, in classic me fashion lol. Guess I'll end it with saying ABSOLUTE shout out to the camera crew because the shots are IMMACULATE and I ADORE the shaky camera that makes it seem very unprofessional like the Ghostfacers are, and making it more engaging so it feels like I'm actually a character in the show, running with my phone that happens to be recording. Also thank you to whoever gave us all the sweet sweet shots that make it seem like Sam or Dean is RIGHT THERE, TALKING TO US. I COULD LITERALLY REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM FROM HERE. The set up is phenomenal, I love how you get to feel like a character in the show and be involved. ALSO ALSO, super small thing, but I love when Dean leaves the Ghostfacers alone after he just broke up there fight to go keep looking for Sam and you can hear him yelling, "Sammy!" in the distance but it ACTUALLY SOUNDS DISTANT LIKE YOU HEAR IT LIKE HE'S A WAYS AWAY. THIS EPISODE FEELS LIKE A FAN-MADE POV 3DIO EXPERIENCE AND I AM HERE FOR IT.

Anyway, 10/10 episode, 10/10 for analyzing and ranting, but I'll reign myself in lol. Hope you all have a great night, love y'all. <3

[raavenb2619]

I enjoyed posting my reactions to Koisenu Futari, so I think I'm going to do that going forward with media I'm consuming as I feel like it. (These will tend to be more unpolished reactions and surface level analysis than polished essay deep dives.)

The Murderbot Diaries, book 1: All Systems Red (spoilers under the cut)

Chapter 1

Murder, entertainment, and capitalism all in the first sentence

Failure at being a heartless killing machine is an interesting juxtaposition through an aro lens. Failure to meet societal expectations of normalcy versus failure to fulfill societal arophobic tropes

Getting the vibe this narrator is not gonna be the most reliable

PoV character is an android, so there’s likely to be themes of demihumanity and in-betweenness

Mensah is struggling against bureaucracy in the emergency, so bureaucracy is likely another theme, since it’s somewhat interchangeable with society. Could also lean more towards questions of power, agency, autonomy, as an aro/robot thing.

“It had three compartments: one big one in the middle for the human crew and two smaller ones to each side for cargo, supplies, and me.” Dehumanization/objectification

Cracked governor module as closeted aromantic, hmm.

Are HubSystem and MedSystem part of the PoV character, or external to them? Getting a little Ancillary Justice vibes, which I need to reread and then read the rest of the series.

The PoV character is having to tend to their wounds and healing on their own, which has nonpartnering vibes

Well, no, they’re just second priority.

Yep, unreliable narrator. You are nervous about your governor module. (Hm, very loose connection to Little Lost Robot by Isaac Asimov)

Demihumanity as valuable, because it has agency/free will that pure roboticism would lack

Casual polyamory. Nice.

A “glitch” in HubSystem? This definitely won’t be relevant to the plot later, lol

Chapter 2

Ah, capitalism.

Mm, yeah, autism.

Ah, surveillance capitalism and a lack of privacy. My favorite.

… I’m gonna need to make a relationship diagram to keep track of all that.

“It was a low-stress group, they didn’t argue much or antagonize each other for fun, and were fairly restful to be around, as long as they didn’t try to talk or interact with me in any way.” Lol

“She turned to me with one of those abrupt movements that I had taught myself not to react to.” Autism.

“I said, “I need to check the perimeter,” and managed to turn and leave the crew area in a totally normal way and not like I was fleeing from a bunch of giant hostiles.” XD

“I’d watched three episodes of Sanctuary Moon and was fast forwarding through a sex scene” XD. (Ace sex-repulsed robot can be an acephobic trope, but I’ve heard good things about this series so I’m expecting it won’t be)

“Though I think that even if I did have sex-related parts I would find them boring.)” Yeah okay there’s some ace robot nuance.

Chapter 3

Ah, buddy, you could probably use some therapy.

A second HubSystem glitch. Interesting. To what extent is HubSystem non-diegetically a person?

Chapter 4

“Imitative Human Bot Units are . . . partially constructed from cloned material.” Set up for identity crisis, and/or asexual reproduction jokes

It/its as probably dehumanizing, but could be reclaimed at some point

That’s a lot of combat in a very short amount of time

Hacking via data port ties to loss of autonomy

Chapter 5

So far, an aspec/robot reading of this feels…a little uninteresting? I don’t think it’s that it’s tasteless, it’s just…there’s lots of interesting stuff to say about Asimov’s writing, or DADoES, and about halfway through it doesn’t feel like there’s much to analyze or interpret. An aro robot on itself doesn’t have much room for nuance; the interesting parts of media analysis are usually what’s hidden under the surface, and so far it doesn’t feel like there’s much.

Interesting backstory with the hacked governor module

“I was still watching them through the camera, because it was easier than looking directly at them.” Autism

Good on you, Mensah

Chapter 6

“It’s wrong to think of a construct as half bot, half human. It makes it sound like the halves are discrete, like the bot half should want to obey orders and do its job and the human half should want to protect itself and get the hell out of here. As opposed to the reality, which was that I was one whole confused entity, with no idea what I wanted to do. What I should do. What I needed to do.” Mm. That’s giving thoughts, but I don’t know what they are yet.

Getting some more roboticism, but still feels a bit thin. I’m not sure, maybe that’s just me.

Too expensive to destroy. Interesting.

Chapter 7

Getting adopted/found family vibes, which I’m a fan of

Chapter 8

Yep.

“This was what I was supposed to want. This was what everything had always told me I was supposed to want.” Mm.

“I don’t know what I want. I said that at some point, I think. But it isn’t that, it’s that I don’t want anyone to tell me what I want, or to make decisions for me. That’s why I left you, Dr. Mensah, my favorite human. By the time you get this I’ll be leaving Corporation Rim. Out of inventory and out of sight.” Mm yeah. Yeah.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

HIII I want to say i love your OCs and your writing that i binge reading them everytime 🥰, especially i love your Yandere Jock story cause I weak for sweet himbo man but actually scary, lol.

If you don't mind , can i ask for a scenario where Damon is playing for tournament, but his team losing by a lot now cause Damon not feeling great at that time, so his coach have to use their ultimate card, bring Y/n here to cheer. Therefore, in middle break, the coach had to snatch Y/n from library, using their authority as PE teacher that Y/n has to follow. Damon shock at seeing Y/N in the tournament , even sitting at the team seat. He asked why is she here,

Y/n grumpy said "I got brought here because you stupid playing today, why are you suddenly so bad?? I thought you were the best player in this school!!!. Fine!! If you don't even win this tournament, then no point in giving you a kiss" . Damon heart stopped at that sentence. Y/n promise him a kiss if he win this??? Afterward, he went back to the tournament feeling full energy and totally annihilated the rival team. After tournament end, with everyone gone wash up and went to party to celebrate the win, only Damon and Y/n in the shower room, hungrily kissing Y/n and make out 🫣

Unbeknownst to everyone, the reason Damon was not in the mood to play was because Y/n rejected his invite to his tournament to focus on her exam lmao

Yandere! Jock x Honor student! fem! reader everyday tidbits: encouragement

"What the hell, Damon?!" One of Damon's teammates screamed at him, exasperated by this usually amazing jock turn into this... Dunce.

"Come on, Damon. What's happening with ya?" One teammate also whispered, patting him on his shoulder. "We need your head in the game here, man. You're our MVP, please, don't be like this."

Damon only frowned, annoyed and sluggish. He really wants to lash out, but he knows he can't due to being this nice guy, so he gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry..." He whispered, trying to get into the zone, but nothing.

The coach noticed this and frowned.

"What's happening to the guy?" The coach asked the member who got benched earlier.

"Dunno. He seems distracted coach." The guy muttered, looking around the bleachers. "Huh... Maybe the reason is that y/n is not here?"

The coach looked at the usual spot you would sit on. And he's right, you weren't there at all.

"... Are you thinking what i'm thinking?" The coach whispered, and the other members nodded.

"You, you watch the game. I gotta go fetch someone." The coach pointed at his assistant before running towards the library, hoping you're there.

He bursted open, earning quite a handful of jumps and yelps, and earning the ire of the librarian and staff.

"The basketball coach? What are you--" The librarian was about to nag when he waved him off.

"No time, I gotta find a student."

Then, he found you, just reading a book that you were too busy with to notice him.

"You, come with me." He said, getting up to your face and frightening you to nodding.

You got dragged to the court and paused when you saw the scores.

"What the hell..?" You whispered under your breath, before narrowing your eyes when you saw Damon looking so off his game.

Pursing your lips, you got to your usual seat and leaned on the railing.

"Oi! You damn dingus!" You yelled, making the whole stadium look at you. The referee was about to charge but the coach made him stop. "What's with this pathetic display? What happened to your skills? Gone? Fine! If you don't do good... No kisses!"

The whole stadium bursts in awe, squeals and blushes of bashfulness.

But Damon was the only one you're looking at, and you watched his face go from bewildered to horror.

"No! I want my kisses!" He yelled, suddenly getting energized and making a mad dash towards the hoop and dunking, earning a three points.

The stadium cheered, making you calm down as his a-game rose.

"Finally..." You grumbled, annoyed but felt good that he got energized when you got here.

Sure, you were also the reason why he's distracted. You did say you won't be attending the game since you're busy with studying...

But come on, he's been thriving before you...

You watched him suddenly getting shot after shot, and hiding from the University journalists trying to cop a pic from you.

After the whole thing, Damon completely annihilated the whole rival team. Looking scary as steam emitted from his body due to his body temperature and the stadium temperature difference.

You sighed in relief before finally going down and back to the library.

Surely, he would go celebrate his victory with his teammate right?

You walked moderately, and when you passed by their locker room, you suddenly got pulled in.

The door locked.

"So, where's my reward?" Damon, freshly showered, caged you between his arms before capturing your lips in a hungry kiss.

Yeah, he's hungry. But not for food, that's for sure.

[lorelilly]

Just answering some general questions about my writing. 😁

I was tagged by @lilac-hecox ! (But I’m only answering some of the questions bc my answer to a lot of them would just be “no” cause I’m boring. Lol)

Tagging @whiskeythefishski @june-rassicpark @spennininomenon @vc55bughead @toomuchsmoshbrainrot if any of y’all wanna yap about your stuff!

Total number of ao3 works: 15 + 1 in progress

Total ao3 word count: 183,963

Fandoms I’ve written for: I’ve only posted Smosh fics. But I did once write a couple fics for Fire Emblem Three Houses.

Top five fics by kudos:

In Reverse

Livewire

Little Love

No Rocks, Only Chaser

Equilateral

Do I respond to comments? Yes! When I first started writing, I didn’t really understand the “rules” so I didn’t respond to every comment because I had weird anxiety about looking like I was “artificially inflating” my comment count. But these days I respond to every new comment thread!

What has the most angst ridden ending? I really think my only angsty ending fic is Lucky.

What has the happiest ending? I almost exclusively write happy endings. Lol. But my favorite happy endings are probably in Equilateral and No Rocks.

Have I received hate? Luckily no. Everyone’s been very kind!

Do I write smut? If so, what kind? For sure! Love me some smut. But usually my smut is paired with a lot of emotion or character development. I don’t write much pwp.

Writing strengths: …wow this is harder than it should be. Is making people cry a strength? lol. I don’t know if this is something other people think about my stuff, but I really like my dialogue. I know I don’t write tons of it, but it’s my favorite part of my stories to reread. I also got a comment once that said I’m good at “linear movement” which is something I’ve actually been actively working to improve. The more emotional or important a moment is, the more breakdown I try to do. And I think it’s just extra fun for me when writing romance in particular to live in that tension as much as possible.

Writing weaknesses: I’m so bad at planning out plot. I tend to be mostly a “find a starting place and then just write based on vibes” kind of person. Which means with longer fics, I’m constantly unsure of how to add foreshadowing or when to gradually introduce character traits/backstory or how long it’ll take to resolve a story issue. I’ll write full scenes and then have to go back and ask “Is this scene too long? Too short? Should it exist here or later in the story? Does it even serve the narrative?” Also I don’t think that I’m particularly unique with my story ideas. At this point I’ve mostly written getting together fics that I think feel very tonally similar. And when it comes to writing structure, I have an extremely loose definition of what a “sentence” is. And I can’t spell. Like y’all have no idea. Thank god for spellcheck is all I can say. lol.

Favorite fic I’ve written: There’s a lot about my fic No Rocks, Only Chaser that I’m proud of. But I also recently wrote a one shot called Missing Pages that just felt amazing to write. I really felt like I hit a flow state with it. And even though it’s a rare pair so it hasn’t gotten many hits compared to my other stuff, I’m still really proud of it. 😁