#this is also the first time I’ve drawn the whole core four I think lol

[cactus-cactus-cactus]

Me and my emotional support riverdale season 3 ❤️

[chans-bad-girl]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a fic with channie about if you have a vagina with hair? cause, you know, it’s such a pain to shave/wax down there and it makes me insecure sometimes thinking boys won’t like it. thank you!

ahh I feel you on the part where it's a pain lol shaving is so annoying (in east asian culture I've actually picked up that they don't shave down there anyway so I think the real Chan or just most Korean celebrities wouldn't really bat an eyelash at it (?) lol)

PS: this kinda made me understand I'm not that good at hurt/comfort 😬 but enjoy

Closer

pairing: soft long distance bf! chris x afab yn

warnings: actually pretty soft ngl, creampie, penetrative sex, clitoral stimulation, a bunch of random touching, nipple play when you really hone in on the details, maybe one pet/nickname and also dirty talk but what is a smut fic without dirty talk?

chris' close friend hyunjin got married eight hours ago. he'd never met you, but as his best friend's plus one, you were treated like family: grand buffet packed with traditional korean dishes, unlimited champagne and wine, and the family-lounge away from all the third-cousins his parents invited for formality's sake.

hyunjin's 7-year-old niece caught the bridal bouquet, all stomaches were filled, and everybody sang their hearts out on the poor karaoke machine. in short: you had fun.

but after 4am, you arrive at the hotel, high-heeled shoes the first thing to come off, and you remove all the layers: hair pins, make up, dress, spanx.

chris takes off your necklace, fingers cold against your neck, and whispers, "haven't really had any one-on-one moments today, hm?"

you know where this is going but there’s a minor problem: you had to rush getting ready for the wedding because your flight was late, so you only shaved what the dress exposes.

you two haven’t seen each other in a month and during that time, between lectures and finals, you couldn’t have bothered less about your pubic hair. one less thing to do in the shower.

but now you regret it. because his leg presses between your hips from behind you, and his kisses have gotten wet.

“sorry, channie, but I haven’t shaved in…a bit. I can help you, and tomorrow I'll shave properly.”

“but I don’t care about that stuff, just want you close.”

"tomorrow, yea?" you sit on the bed and put your necklace on the nightstand.

he follows you like a lost puppy, keeping enough distance.

"I wouldn't judge you. especially not for something as small as that. hair is normal and I'm also not always shaved."

"I know...just wanna look good for you."

"alright selena gomez, can I love my girlfriend now?"

"what if I like it like that? a bit unruly?"

"yea?" you tilt your head and stare at his lips. maybe it really doesn't matter.

"yea. I like you in every single way." he trails a wet path of kisses down your neck, down to your collarbone. "and I also want to take you in every single way so if you won't let me love you I might have to kiss you until you're soaking and begging for me." now he comes closer, gaining confidence from the inquiry of your stare. maybe he should fuck that insecurity out of you.

"what if I want you to?"

"oh?" the smirk on his face only grows bigger when you shift to sit on his lap.

because he's right. you can trust him. you want and love each other and that's the only thing that matters right now.

"let me make you feel good, baby, huh?"

his forehead finds yours, and he swallows your little gasps and sighs that you respond to his touch with.

his hands trail up your thighs, then squeeze your waist. and when you tug at his shirt, he flips you onto your back.

"gosh, all night I couldn't wait. it's been way too long." he whispers in your ear, kisses your neck, tickles your cheeks with his curls.

slowly, he takes your shirt off. it tickles when cold air hits hair around your nipples, but chris is quick to replace that feeling with pleasure by twirling his tongue. and you wrap your legs around him.

it doesn't take long for the both of you to lie bare in front of each other, uncomfort long forgotten as the pulse between your legs allows no other thoughts than those of chris inside of you.

"please." your back archs as you close your eyes.

"please what, baby?" his lips brush against yours as he mumbles.

"please fuck me. now." you grab his girth and pump him a few times before aligning.

"so wet and demanding."

"already losing your mind, chan?"

"sight's too pretty." he winks with a smirk that turns into a drawn out hum when he enters your walls.

he's right. it's really been too long.

the second he starts thrusting, your hands are all over him: pressing on his back, sliding down his chest, massaging between his thighs.

he moves at a slow pace and fills you with only his tip, then with his whole shaft over and over.

and when he speeds up, he starts kissing you.

"you're gorgeous," he hushes against your lips. "don't shave just for me. if you want to, do it for yourself. but I shouldn't be the reason, yea?" his lips leave yours so he can look you in the eye at which a wave of warm tingles travels through your body.

the raised eyebrows and soft smile, his deep brown stare and the slow thrusts that have your bodies sticking in sweat: the man in your arms loves you and it's the best thing you've ever learned.

you don't give him an answer to his little question, but connect your lips instead, circling your hip in his rhythm. because you love him too with the same amount of care.

"besides, I think it's cute." chris trails a finger down your body - between your breasts down to your core - to circle it around your clit.

a moan escapes your lips and he drinks it right up.

but you don't last long with the double stimulation and the realization that you've built up way too much of this desire for the past months.

truth is, only he can make you feel this way.

"chan, I'm gonna cum." and even though he could already tell from your strong grip on his back and the loud moans, he finds it hard to control his own orgasm when you whimper out like that.

"then don't hold back. cum with me, y/n." his low whispers push you over the edge and the violent clenching of your core has you squeezing your eyes in bliss.

as a response to your spasms and whimpers, chris fills you with his cum as his whole shaft pushes into you.

but it isn't enough for him.

he hasn't seen you real fucked out since that one night out in that abandoned beach parking lot where he gave you seven orgasms four months ago, and right now he doesn't care who hears. he just wants to make you feel good. make up for the lost time.

"wanna find out just how good it can get?"

"yes, please."

[meta-shadowsong]

Some Thoughts on the Jedi/Jedi Doctrine

So, I’m sometimes hesitant to write meta about the this topic/set of topics, because I kind of feel like I have to make a huge disclaimer that the more critical of my points don’t mean I think that the Jedi were Really Evil/Wrong/what have you, because they weren’t. Like, there are clear Bad Guys in SW and the Jedi (overall/as an institution; obviously there are outliers like Krell running around) are not among them. Fortunately for me, Star Wars fandom is big and broad enough that it’s easier to curate my experience and avoid the Super Polarizing Debates than it has been in some other fandoms I’ve participated in, but the nature/relative Goodness of the Jedi Order is one of the ones that’s just...a fact of life in the PT-era/Clone Wars sections of the fandom that are my focus. And it’s basically Discourse™ bait.

(Which is not to say I don’t want discussion! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be posting this in a public/semi-public forum, lol. Just that…IDK, there’s a difference between discussion and Discourse™, especially on topics like this.)

Anyway, all that aside, my stance can basically be summed up as: “The Jedi did far more good than harm and were, on the whole, well-intentioned people doing the best they could with the resources and information they had; however,��I feel like there are some notable issues in their doctrine and practices which are worth discussing.” In other words, I generally lean more towards the Jedi Positive end of the spectrum – but, given the polarization in fandom on this particular topic, this occasionally makes me feel almost guilty when I make any kind of critical comment. Hence, massive disclaimers, to make up for that and attempt to be clear on where I’m coming from. But when my disclaimers start to feel almost as long as the actual essay I’m trying to write, that starts to take the fun out of it for me, hence my occasional hesitation.

That being said, for a variety of reasons, I decided to write up a few things that have been percolating in my head for a while, because why have a meta blog if I’m not going to use it, right? So, here we are.

This post is kind of a grab bag of three or four things, discussing both the Jedi themselves and how they’re sometimes portrayed, on varying levels of specificity. Being a grab bag, it’s not necessarily super coherent/a nice flowy essay, just some Thoughts. Oh, also, as a note – since, as far as I know, we lack a good canon catch-all, I use ‘Force adept’ as a general term for trained Force-users who may or may not be Jedi or Sith.

All right. Once again reiterating the massive disclaimer that I don’t think any of this makes the Jedi evil – here we go.

First, one of the things I have a problem with is more a perception/discussion thing than an in-universe thing – the idea that comes up sometimes in Jedi-positive discussions, that the Jedi path is The Right Way, or at least The Best Way to be an active Force adept without being Evil. Full stop. For all people, under all circumstances.

I think I’ve touched on this before, but my feelings on this particular issue really boil down to, “The Jedi aren’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean they have a monopoly on being right.” And I tend to come away from some Jedi-positive meta, even if I overall agree with the point the person in question is trying to make, with a bad taste in my mouth, feeling like it’s been framed as a One True Way type of thing. This is, admittedly, my problem, and not anyone else’s – which is why I’m discussing this in my own post, rather than derailing any of the ones I’ve seen that rubbed me in this particular wrong way. But it’s part of why I’m somewhat uncomfortable discussing my thoughts on Jedi practices and philosophy with anyone other than a select circle of fandom friends who I know for sure don’t skew that way. Even, as I said, when I lean more towards the Jedi-positive end of the spectrum.

Anyway, back on topic.

Practically speaking, there is a certain amount of truth to this idea by the time the PT rolls around, because of the relationship between the Order and the late Republic, and the overall sociopolitical setup of the main/focal portion of the galaxy. The Jedi have authority and reputation and presence in a way that other orders, if they’re out there, and/or independent Force adepts don’t. For example – off the top of my head, I believe the Guardians of the Whills, whether Force-adepts or not, whether Jedi-affiliated or not, seem to work in a pretty narrow geographic range; Dathomir (which, as I believe I’ve discussed previously, seems to be an entire planet/culture of people who are Force-sensitive to a perceptible degree, though not everyone necessarily reaches Jedi potential) also tends to mostly concern itself with its own affairs, apart from Mother Talzin and her ambitions. (There’s also the fact that they tend to read as/be grouped with Dark Side adepts, and I have some Thoughts on that/the Nightsisters as Dark Side adepts vs. Sith as Dark Side adepts as well, but that is a topic for a separate essay.)

But this isn’t about practicalities, it’s about philosophy/doctrine, and that’s where it starts getting sticky for me.

Okay. The Jedi basically have a core principle, and everything they do/believe comes from that – be more compassionate than you are selfish. And that’s great! That’s a good foundation for just about any philosophy/religion/culture. Quite a few IRL belief systems can be broken down to something similar, or even if it’s not a fundamental tenet, would still generally be considered a good/ideal way to live one’s life(1).

The problem is, when you break Jedi philosophy and doctrine down that far, it kind of loses a lot of its actual meaning? Which is to say, everything that makes it specifically Jedi philosophy – since, like I said, this is not an uncommon precept.

But the Order, like most belief systems, then takes the next step and says “okay, we’ve accepted this premise/goal, now here is our view on how to actually do that.” And at that point, when we start getting into the specifics, there are things that are not universal.

For example, considering the idea of avoiding attachment – not as it’s normally used in discussions about the Jedi, i.e., in the individual/interpersonal relationships sense, but in the broader/community sense.

The Jedi are more or less a closed community; while they do interact with the wider world when called upon, to provide aid, they’re pretty insular in their daily/personal lives outside of missions. And that is one way to achieve this core goal, to set the organization up as truly objective outsiders/advisors/judges/what have you.

But another would be to be fully integrated in a wider/outside community, either as individuals or as smaller groups/lineages, with connections to the overall Order that can be drawn on to share knowledge/resources/etc. as needed. Basically, trading outsider perspective for insider knowledge. Different ways of gaining the trust of the people you’re trying to help, with advantages and disadvantages to both. (For an IRL analogy, consider the way different orders of, say, Catholic monks and nuns operate, some more cloistered than others. Not a perfect comparison, necessarily, but something in the ballpark. Same goal, different approaches.)

My point here is not to imply or say that the Jedi path is a bad one, because it’s not. My point here is, as I said before, the idea that it’s the only correct path, or even the best path for all people (and/or Force adepts) in all circumstances, really sits wrong with me. Of course, this is all reflective my own personal beliefs, which tend to be pluralistic and avoid like the plague anything that claims to be the One True Way. Because that doesn’t even really hold up on Earth, which is a single planet with a single sentient species(2). If we expand that to an entire galaxy, with multiple species, it seems even shakier. And, yes, I know that Star Wars doesn’t actually do a whole lot with the idea of making alien species and their thought processes Different from humans beyond superficial details/attributes(3), but there’s still a point to be made here.

TL;DR: the galaxy, and, by extension, the Force, is far too big and complex for there to be only one right answer/path. Even building on the same baseline premise of “be more compassionate than you are selfish.”

Okay. Moving on to my next point, which is less about the way the Jedi are talked about and more about the Jedi themselves, and how they communicate with outsiders.

Short version: the Jedi are really, really bad at explaining who they are and how they think/operate to outsiders.

And, you know, I’m not saying they have to be good at it, or even necessarily that they should be. They don’t owe anyone those answers.

But it is something that can very much work against them, especially when they play a public role in galactic life. It’s easy for Palpatine to turn that on its head, especially when the Jedi don’t have the tools or the experience or the desire to play the propaganda game themselves. Again, not saying they should, just that they don’t, and there are downsides to it as well as advantages; and they’re up against someone whose primary wheelhouse is playing against exactly this kind of disadvantage.

That’s not the thing I want to focus on, actually, but it’s the most obvious thing so I felt like i should mention it. But that’s really more about the role of propaganda in the galaxy itself and other people, who are much smarter/more focused than I am and have put a lot of work into that topic have done it a lot better than I ever could.

But another way this comes into play is with their recruitment practices. For at least the past thousand years(4), the Jedi have only taken in infants/toddlers/very young children. Meaning, everyone that they do need to make understand Who They Are and How They Do grows up steeped in all of this, learning more or less by osmosis (because early-childhood neuroplasticity augmented by the Force) so there isn’t all that much need for overt explanations of How and Why the Jedi do things This Way, because it gets absorbed on a subconscious/instinctive level from the very beginning.

And, obviously this isn’t 100% successful – see, the Lost Twenty, not to mention any who left the Order as Padawans/before whatever marker makes them Count among the Twenty/as I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before, I’m pretty sure we only have actual identifying information about like 1% of the Jedi Order (~100 out of ~10,000), so any broad statements should be taken with a grain of salt.

But what I’m trying to get at here is that this practice has put the Order in a position where they’ve basically lost the skills and reference points needed to teach people who come to it late. Converts, in other words.

And then it becomes sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy/a cycle which continually reinforces itself – older students have difficulty adapting to the lifestyle/culture, but is that because they’re past a set point where they can’t learn it/adapt, or because the Order’s approach has left it with a weak point when it comes to helping them through that transition? Which then leads to older students having difficulty adapting, which leads to the Order not taking in older students unless they Have To because they can’t adapt, which leads to further adjustment/integration issues for the few they do take, and on and on.

This is especially the case when it comes to older kids from…let’s call them complicated backgrounds, which we see with both Anakin and Ventress.

(Again interjecting a disclaimer – this is in no way saying that Anakin was justified in what he did, or that the Jedi Order deserved it, or anything like that. I have a meta buried somewhere that uses an elaborate road-building metaphor which I should probably post at some point about the various factors that go into Anakin making all the wrong choices; jumping off from that metaphor, this is probably one of the ways the Palpatine got his paving materials, but that doesn’t make the Order responsible for either what Palpatine did with them, or Anakin’s choice to walk on the road Palpatine built for him.)

Anyway.

With Ventress, Ky Narec keeps her away from the Order as a whole, so she’s deprived of the community aspects of the culture – but also insulated from the can’t-fit-in problems she probably would’ve faced with her peers (because, even without the additional communication issues I’m talking about, this is a thing that happens when outsiders/newcomers attempt to join tight-knit communities, even if no one is being overtly/deliberately exclusive). Assuming he’d have even been allowed to keep her if he’d brought her back (which is not at all a guarantee; look at what it took for the Order to accept Anakin). …y’know, on that note, I really wish there was more about the two of them and their relationship/how he taught her/why he decided to handle her this way/etc. But I digress.

Of course, in the end, Narec’s choice ends up being a negative – when he dies, she has no one else to turn to. As far as I know, we don’t have any information on whether she attempted to reach out to the Order and explain herself/hope for acceptance there before running to Dooku, so there’s maybe an additional story there. Either way, we know where she ended up. And this issue of how to handle/communicate effectively with candidates who got locked out of the loop because of when and how they were identified probably played a significant role in her story. If only because it almost certainly informed Ky Narec’s choices.

With Anakin, of course, he’s raised within the Order, and gets the full impact of the community – both the positives and the negatives, being essentially an outsider. We don’t have a lot of canon about his first couple years there, but given everything we do know about his early childhood and the culture he was trying to join, I think there were major cracks in the foundation from the start, despite probably everyone involved trying their best to make things work.

The background radiation of Anakin’s childhood, whether he experienced this directly or not, was that he has to prove he’s worth keeping, or he’ll be thrown away. So, bearing in mind that a lot of this is conjecture, my guess is he spent the first couple of years really trying to measure up, and hiding where he was having problems, because he doesn’t want to seem like a bad investment. Fake it til you make it, essentially(5). Especially given the way his induction was botched – and I’m not saying that the Jedi should have automatically accepted him, but the back and forth on the issue and the way initially refusing him was handled (he really should not have been in the room for that conversation) didn’t help matters/reinforced this issue/made him hyper-aware of how hard it had been for him to even get here, let alone keep his place(6).

Meanwhile, on the Order’s end of things, once they did accept him, I believe they genuinely tried to help him adjust. But, again, they’re making this up as they go along, too; so I feel like those first couple years was a lot of not-quite-meeting in the middle. They get close enough that the deeper issues are masked, but they still just slightly fall short of one another. Which, at least at this point(7), is not really anyone’s fault, just a difficult situation because of the conflicting backgrounds and expectations of the various parties involved, that didn’t necessarily actually get resolved, so much as compensated for. But those foundational cracks still present, leading to a complete collapse later.

Again, this doesn’t excuse the particular way Anakin handled that collapse at all. Also, IMO, none of these issues are necessarily insurmountable – without Palpatine actively working towards the worst possible outcome, my guess is that things would’ve come to a head in a much less destructive manner, and maybe earlier, as well. Whether the resulting course-correction/repair would’ve kept Anakin in the Order or not…IDK. Could go either way. The point is, between Anakin’s particular background and the Jedi Order’s general lack of facility in dealing with older students/kids from complicated backgrounds/outsiders in general (and some active reinforcement from Palpatine), there’s a not-insignificant gap in understanding/communication/trust right from the start, and it’s never entirely healed.

Insert clever segue here, and we move on to my third point, about the Chosen One prophecy.

As a note, I come at this mostly from a fanfic writing perspective, rather than a literary analysis perspective. And in my fic, I don’t actually deal with the prophecy all that much. But when I do, I really like the reading that the Chosen One is intended to be a catalyst for change. To put the Jedi Order/galaxy as a whole in a position for the final defeat of the Sith, whether by defeating the SIth with their own hands or by sparking a shift in the way the Order interacts with the threat/the galaxy as a whole.

Basically, per my reading of the situation, the Order has, over the past thousand years, become a little bit ossified/stagnant(4) in terms of its doctrine and practices. They’re pretty inwardly focused on their traditions and This Is How To Jedi (as an group/institution; as in most practices/cultures, this varies from individual to individual, with some being extremely flexible in their application of doctrine and some much less so), with intervention in the outside world in specific crises as they arise. This approach is at least in part a result of the way things were restructured following the Ruusan reformations, because that is what the Order needed to be at that point in time. But then they just sort of got…stuck there. This is, again, not necessarily a mark against them/proof they’re Really Not The Good Guys or any BS like that. Like I mentioned before, they still do way more good than harm, and are genuinely well-intentioned on the whole. It’s just a Thing that tends to happen. Institutions – and the Order is an Institution, in this sense – are slow to change on their own, and tend to just become The Same Thing But More So. Especially when they’re put in a position where they don’t necessarily need to change, and attempting to do so might cause a fair amount of short-term, maybe even long-term, damage, which could be either internal or external.

But this tendency, and the particular way they’ve become The Same Thing But More So, has left the Jedi Order woefully unprepared and unequipped to deal with the particular threat that Palpatine, and the generations of Sith legwork he’s building on, present.

Which brings us to the Chosen One.

Who is, in this reading(8), essentially a wakeup call from the Force, that the shit is about to hit the fan.

But Anakin and his induction/relationship with the Order were mishandled, as previously discussed. Once again, I feel a need to disclaim – I am not in any way blaming the Order for what happened. Anakin may have a Destiny, but he’s also a sentient being with free will and he actively chose to fulfill said Destiny in the worst possible way.

What I am saying is that the response to this warning was maybe not as thorough/helpful as it could have been. Both on a small scale, when dealing with the individual beings directly involved, and on a large scale, in terms of the questions Anakin and all that he is (with or without the full weight/text of the Prophecy as a factor) could have raised about Order doctrine and practices, which might have put them in a slightly better position when Palpatine initiated his endgame. It may still have been too little, too late – or it may have been enough to significantly change the outcome.

And, to be fair, I think that the Order – or, at the very least, Master Yoda – realized this over the course of the Clone War. That the Order had become stagnant/too attached to Tradition/not as dynamic as it needed to be, I mean. And, if Anakin had made better choices or if circumstances had fallen out differently, I genuinely believe that the Order would have seen some significant change, to adapt to the galaxy as it had become, not the one it was at their last major shift a thousand years ago. Which they do anyway – granted, we don’t know much about how Luke was running things in canon, but in Legends, he took a slightly different approach to the core philosophy and the doctrine built on it, adapting what he’d been taught to the galaxy that he’d grown up in. But, again, that’s as a result of Anakin serving as a catalyst for change in the worst possible way because he made all the wrong choices.

…yeah, that last section, in particular, I’ve been sitting on for a long, long time, trying to figure out how to word it without sounding creepy and victim-blamey. As I keep stressing, none of this changes the enormity of Anakin’s choice, because he had other options and he chose this one. And while the Order could have handled things better in the lead up to that final crossroads, which might have put all of them in a better position when they got there, they didn’t make that choice for him any more than Palpatine did.

So…yeah. There it is. Some of my more critical thoughts about the Jedi Order of the PT/Late Republic era. Like I said. I’m not sure how coherent this is, it’s just…sort of a grab bag of thoughts.

To sum up: The Jedi were well-intentioned and did more good than harm; they were not wrong, but that doesn’t mean they have a monopoly on being right; there are some flaws in their approaches to certain issues such as communication, particularly with outsiders, and change, which in no way mean they caused or deserved what happened to them; however, in the full knowledge that I am looking at this from an outside perspective/with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, there are better choices they could have made which might well have improved the situation.

(1)Disclaimer: it’s been at least ten years since I’ve done any serious comparative religions study, but this is broadly true to the best of my recollection.

(2)Debates about cetaceans, etc., aside.

(3)Which is actually one of the things I really liked about Alliances, and the way Timothy Zahn handles the Chiss in general – it’s a little closer to the CJ Cherryh style of sci-fi, where aliens may be similar to humans, but there are fundamental differences in the way they think and organize themselves; so the fact that Chiss Force adepts function very differently from Force adepts in the main part of the galaxy is pretty cool to me. Whether the two approaches could adapt and learn from each other in the long run is a fascinating question…

(4)Going by Legends canon here; current canon has yet to give me any deep backstory, so my approach to anything more than 100 years pre-TPM is ‘canon until proven otherwise,’ because there’s little to no historical context for things without that. And I feel like discussions on this topic are really hard to have/missing something significant without that historical context.

(5)I also think that this particular strategy – fake it til you make it, excel in specific areas which cover up the deep flaws in others/your foundation – is something that the Order is vulnerable to in general, even with children who did grow up in the culture. See, Barriss. …there’s probably a whole essay or three, talking about the ways Barriss and Anakin and Ventress and their stories parallel one another, but that is a topic for another day.

(6)Granted, he does get past this, at least to some extent, later (as we can see in the way he deals with his superiors in AOTC and ROTS; if nothing else, he’s identified how much wiggle room he has and is confident enough to go right up to the edge of what he can get away with, even risking going past it in certain contexts and on certain issues), but that doesn’t necessarily mean that this has actually been fixed, just that he’s found ways to get around it and function in his new environment.

(7)As sort of implied in the last footnote, there does more or less come a point where Anakin kind of stops trying with anyone other than a few close, trusted people – and, again, on the one hand this shows a remarkable success in rewriting some of the coping mechanisms he developed in childhood which are no longer helpful for him in his new life, in that he’s less focused on Being Worth Keeping apart from not wanting to disappoint, for example, Obi-Wan; but it also doesn’t necessarily address some of his root issues. And because of this gap in understanding, Anakin comes away with the impression, accurate or not, that he’s never really going to win the trust/approbation of his peers and superiors, which alienation Palpatine can prey on later. Again, none of this excuses the way Anakin eventually acts on that alienation. But it’s there.

(8)There’s another reading that I kind of like – though it leans a little harder into the Fate end of the scale rather than free will – which is that Anakin is at the nexus of both the Jedi Chosen One prophecy and the Sith’ari prophecy from Legends. I.e., some ancient Jedi and Sith did the same thing Ezra and Maul did, bashing a pair of holocrons together to seek some kind of Revelation, and came out with conflicting but not necessarily contradictory answers. But, again, that hits the Fate end of the scale a lot harder than I normally like, though the possibility of it is interesting to contemplate when I write stuff where ROTS happened as in canon (i.e., I referenced this idea in Sanctuary.)

[the-jennnster]

Novel Prep: Stars

I was tagged by @arynneva​!

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

A criminal and the mechanic she’s kidnapped start out on what seems to be a short adventure, but as they get to know each other, secrets are revealed and enemies are met, forcing them into a fight with their country in the balance.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

This is (I hope) the first in a trilogy, with a couple stories expanding off of it because there are some side characters in here whom I think definitely deserve to have their stories told.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic? 

Secrets admitted at midnight underneath the stars while avoiding all the shit of the world around you.

4. What other stories inspire your novel? 

@marielubooks​‘s Legend Trilogy was definitely a major inspiration. Cee, one of my main characters, is basically the Day/June lovechild lmao

ALSO HOW COOL IS IT THAT THERE’S GONNA BE A BOOK 4? AHHHH

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel 

(All of these images were stolen from Pinterest btw) 

6. Who is your protagonist? 

I have two!

Cee - A criminal who’s supposedly ruthless and cruel and has a dark past she hides from everything. 

Kyle - A mechanic who is working his ass off to support his family and isn’t used to doing things for himself

7. Who is their closest ally? 

Besides each other, Cee and Kyle rely a lot on the Specialists later on in the book. Among these Specialists, the most important people are: 

-Sixilia, a mischievous assassin whose past is dangerously intertwined with Cee’s

-Cat, a disgraced noble hardened by the struggles she’s gone through as both a trans woman and a mutate (my version of mutants lol)

-Blake, a hyperactive, happy-go-lucky disgraced soldier

-Hanna, a ex-gang member who’s lost everyone in her life, including her parents and girlfriend (who she was planning to marry)

8. Who is their enemy?

Daniela, a seventeen-year-old world-renowned genius, corrupted by an international organization hell-bent on destroying the American government.

9. What do they want more than anything?

Cee just wants to escape her past and be her own person, independent of the reputations she’s been forced to uphold in both the lives she’s led

Kyle just wants his family to be safe, to honor his mother’s memory, to let his sister live a life with choices, and to just be able to live.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Because Cee is burdened by the reputation of the infamous, cruel criminal she’s shaped herself out to be in her quest for respite and Kyle is struggling to work around the shitty governmental systems that make it difficult for a teenage boy to support his depressed, disabled father and toddler sister.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Cee believes that she’s undeserving of love because of the things she’s gone through and the things she’s been forced to do in her life as a criminal and Kyle thinks his chance for a life outside of supporting his family is shot, seeing as he dropped out of school and has lost his chance at his own dreams.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description) 

Cee and Kyle were actually drawn by @hestray​, who I am very lucky to have! She’s my sounding board and listens to my ramble about this all the time!

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

The internal conflict revolves a lot about family, about what we owe to them and what we owe to ourselves. There’s also some classic morality about the value of life and death, and a sexuality crisis in there too for good measure.

14. What is the external conflict?

Daniela and her army, trying to dismantle the government, which would do the exact opposite of what she wants to do: put mutates on equal playing grounds with regular humans

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

For Cee, if you told her that her brothers hated her, if you told her that her brothers had always hated her, if they told her they hated her... she’d be utterly wrecked she is utterly wrecked

Kyle would be a mess if somebody took his sister from him. Four years, he’s been fighting to keep her, to provide for her and give her a good life, giving up his own in the process. If she was taken from him, everything he’d done would be for nothing, and he’d be an absolute mess.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Cee’s real identity is a big one, because it’s a lot about her connections to Daniela and how big of a role she really plays in this whole “destroy the government” scheme.

17. Do you know how it ends?

Couple schemes, a few screaming matches, and a death that I hopes rocks people to their cores. I’d like to say I’ve got a decent idea, though things have changed.

Bits and Bobs

18. What is the theme?

I said this before for number 13, but it’s really about what we owe to our families and what we owe to ourselves. Cee and Kyle have very different approaches to their families, but both of them have made drastic decisions revolving around them. They each need to learn the balance between making decisions for their families and making decisions for themselves.

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?

The first one off the top of my head would be Cee’s hair, which in the beginning is long as a symbol to her freedom (because when she was young, it was kept short for practicality). At one point, she chops it off as a show that she’s given up that freedom and is back to working under someone’s thumb.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

The story is set in 2364, in a post-WWIII American Empire. The soldiers who fought in the war twenty years prior are traumatized and injured and their own children were genetically mutated thanks to the nuclear weaponry used during the fighting, causing them to grow up feared and discriminated against thanks to the deadly abilities that followed. 

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

I have a ton of scenes in my mind and nearly a hundred pages written for just this iteration (which is the fourth so far). This isn’t even counting all the expansions I’ve scribbled down between drafts.

22. What excited you about this story?

I’m really excited to tell these characters’ stories, first and foremost! Each of them, the main characters and the Specialists, have a lot that they’ve gone through and a lot to tell the world about it.

It’s also a test of my abilities to write heavier topics. Cee in particular has gone through a lot of shit, so it’s new ground for me to be tackling some of this stuff, and I hope I do it justice and write it in a way that allows people to understand this kind of stuff.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Usually writing for me starts with whatever idea’s in my head for the moment. If it’s a scene I’ve been bouncing around for a while, it might have a song on my playlist, which I’ll then play over and over and over until the scene’s written to my liking.

Props to anyone who actually read the whole post lmfao. It’s a lot of my own bullshit, but if you’re actually interested in my story and characters, I’m begging you to let me know! Always craving that validation

NOW FOR TAGS!

@thegirlfairytalesforgot​ is the only one I can think of at the moment, but if any of my lovely followers have a passion project they’re working on, feel free to do the challenge and tag me when you post it! I’m always looking to read other peoples’ ideas!